#he doesn’t care about the WoL being the WoL really. they’re just Some Guy

[impossible-rat-babies]

i still enjoy thinking about pollux in 14 because he is absolutely just. oh you can be a wretch in the gremlin way. like he would be a defected garlean who joins the ironworks. has the moral compass of nero but doesn’t have “prove your worth” issues nero had going for a minute. fuck it we ball kinda vibe. cid sanctions what he does because he is going to do the thing either way. he was in bozja when it blew up and is Totally Well Adjusted about seeing his boss be tempered by bahamut and the explosion there. worked on the g-force warrior from the sorrows trial series and wishes cid let him put more guns on it. the sort of “that was fucked up what happened with the ruby weapon huh? *pause* anyway what is going on inside this thing.”

edit: he would be mean Nero until the end of the omega raids at which point he still be mean to him but it’s in a stupid Rude way, but not like a malicious rude way. (I think about what nero says in the omega raids + ew role quests a lot bc he’s just some cool dude)

[jakey-beefed-it]

Precisely no one cares about this but what is Tumblr for if not screaming into the void about your OCs, so here’s some Thoughts about WoL! Varian Ironcrow

Spoilers for the game up to at least early Shadowbringers

He was born in Ala Mhigo in the shitty little town in the Fringes called Bittermill, he spent his first eight years there under the reign of Theodoric the Mad, the civil war to dethrone him, and the subsequent invasion by the Garlean Empire before finally being driven from his home. He lost lots of older relatives to the civil war and the invasion, and then to the resistance, until the last remnants of his family decided to pack it up and flee- only to be cut down by the Black Rose before they could get out of Bittermill. Varian had been sent ahead with an older cousin, who went back to check on why no one was following only to return and refuse to speak of it until Varian was much older.

They bounced around for years, chased out of first one place and then another, before finally settling in Little Ala Mhigo in southern Thanalan. By this point Varian was fifteen or so, already contributing to the defenses as best he could. He spent the next few years hearing about Raubahn and had a mind to follow in his footsteps in the arena, but the time never seemed right- the town needed his strong arm, and his cousin had worked themselves to infirmity in the mines and now depended on him for support. It wasn’t until he was 25 or so that circumstances- the death of his cousin from their lingering ailments and a death mark from the Corpse Brigade -that he picked up and went to the arena in Ul’dah to train as a gladiator. 

His personality is a lot of bluster and humor to cover the trauma, such that he’s an incurable wiseass who tends to give people nicknames- unflattering nicknames to those he dislikes, flattering nicknames to those he likes okay, and only using the real name of like, people he’s actually close with. He’s unreasonably good at Killing, but he’s not exactly proud of that so much as he regards it as incredibly stupid of people to keep calling him out given the trail of bodies he’s left. 

After defeating Gaius van Baelsar (the very same asshole whose invasion had driven him from his home 20 years previously) at the end of base ARR he took his gunblade as a trophy [i.e. I went Gunbreaker for my main class]. The Coils of Bahamut introduced him to Alisaie, his precious fighty daughter, and the tumult of post-base-game ARR gave Alphinaud the much-needed character development (and voice acting, come Heavensward) to make him his Special Little Guy. 

Heavensward happened and he, like a lot of WoL I imagine, was like ‘Oh, no, this shitty Catholic Elf City is Home, actually’ and the twins became even more His Kids, in his mind at least. If their actual parents wanted them, they would’ve shown up by now. They lost their chance, those kids are my kids. Their dad is Goku and I’m Piccolo, fuck you; my kids now. He cracks fewer jokes, takes things more stoically, but every now and then remembers Haurchefant’s dying words and does his best to present the image of a fearless champion of the people- not because that’s what he is by any stretch in his own mind - but because that’s what people need. 

Stormblood was a series of kicks in the pants to the guy who just wants to finally liberate his homeland, fails repeatedly, falls in love along the way with another Ala Mhigan revolutionary, finally succeeds, then she largely exits the main story to help Ala Mhigo get back on its feet even as he realizes it really isn’t his home anymore, the closest thing to that is still Ishgard. Like if I can headcanon they’re together I can headcanon that Varian and Lyse make time for each other, but she’s not going to be showing up nearly as much in the actual MSQ going forward, which is sad.

Zenos reading him for filth as the kind of guy who lives for the thrill of battle hits a little too near the mark- he doesn’t so much relish combat and killing as he is only good for them in his own mind; a monster only good for bringing destruction and ruin whose only redeeming quality being that there are still worse monsters out there he can focus on. But other people need to see a Hero, so that’s what he tries to show them.

And then, his friends start dropping not-quite-dead, and then his kids do, and then fucking Gaius comes back and they share an agenda and Gaius brought him back his stricken son so he can’t even kill him properly and has to content himself with a headcanon’d snarky comment about his gunblade ‘Ah, new gunblade?’ since Varian stole his other one. 

And then, as if being in Ala Mhigo wasn’t bad enough for his PTSD, the empire launches a new offensive and over twenty years later he’s right back where he was as a terrified eight year old child caught up in the horrors of war but this time people are depending on him to dust himself off and do something about it even though his kids are dying

Fortunately the character animations seem to have kept up such that I don’t even need to edit this screenshot to get a good example of Varian’s traumatized thousand-yard-stare.

And now he’s on a whole other planet, and the guy who brought him here might have accidentally doomed his kids and their friends to be stuck here permanently and/or permanent death if they can’t get back to their bodies, and while he’s got to do everything he can to fix this situation so he can get back to his own world, if he can’t save his kids, the only goal he has in mind is to go full rampage against the Garleans and the Ascians, just wholesale dead-eyed slaughtering everyone who stands in his way until they finally bring him down like the rabid dog he is or he’s standing on top of the mountain of bodies of the other rabid dogs and he can finally just drop his weapons and walk into the sunset/ocean. 

[pacificovertures]

Hey! Hope the week end isn't so bad after all.

Tell me about your ocs please

- internet shy friend

i woke up several times last night having nervous breakdowns so the weekend sure is going! anyway here’s some #content:

ayase miho: the oldest oc i have, she was actually created for a danganronpa rp group my friends back then invited me to, but it fell apart really fast due to teen drama. i liked miho enough to keep writing her and have brought her to several different rp groups after that. i really don’t know what my original intention for her was since it’s been so long, but at the moment she represents my intent to write a character who is a “psychopath” but isn’t necessarily evil. she’s extremely clever, sexually bold, and a manipulator. she doesn’t care about morality, only what interests her. she was the heiress to a wealthy family but ran away and forfeited her inheritance to a younger sister she hates. she currently works as a high end call girl in tokyo. her vibe is pretty heavily influenced by some of the modern japanese lit i’ve read, ESPECIALLY nakamura fuminori’s the kingdom.

fujii hayate: i made him for the pokemon legends arceus rp group i was invited to back when that game came out. because a lot of people were making cool and heroic ocs, i wanted to counterbalance that with someone who was just. a regular guy. hayate was a medic from johto who traveled to hisui to help out there. he isn’t very good with pokemon or survival. he’s very kind and sweet, if a bit naive. the other members of the server really liked him and i do too, but i’m not really sure what to do with him after the fact.

cael aoyama: cael is my player character/warrior of light (wol) for ffxiv. i wasn’t sure what i was doing when i first made her but despite only coming into being last fall, she has some of the richest lore of any of my ocs. without recounting her entire journey, she ended up with a lot of my problems like struggles with communication and deep-seated insecurity. i wanted to write a character who wasn’t very “hero-like” externally but had a strong sense of internal goodness. cael has a cold and serious exterior, but as she has grown, she has learned to be more trusting and more hopeful!

mnemosyne (“nemmy”): nemmy is cael’s azem which mean’s absolutely nothing to anyone who isn’t familiar with ffxiv lore, but in the simplest way possible, they are cael’s past life. they’re a lot more outgoing than cael, but suffer the same core struggles with communicating their feelings, something that eventually leads to having massive impact on what happens after they die. they’re another person who is trying the best they can with what they know, but is ultimately flawed.

[myrfing]

Regarding all your everything about today's WoL question xD

Yeah I get you ;w; like I do think it's fine if like ... That's how they write their WoL -- if their WoL perceives their relationship with the Scions to be not great. And often times I have to remind myself that how their WoL perceives it =/= how the player actually perceives it. But sometimes people do insist that the Scions don't really care about the WoL and that does make me a little sad fjdkskf. Especially after everything in ShB and EnW.

But. That's them and I have my own thoughts, so. Poyo ... Sometimes I wonder if FFXIV is as free as people say ... There wouldn't be so many interpretions of the WoL and their relationships with the Scions otherwise, but I'm a little rigid about the WoL + Scions relationships I see in the wild?

Also sorry for, dumping thoughts into your inbox. You might have noticed a bunch of new notifs as of late but I'm shy so. /Rolls away

OH. HI first sorry for being so gung ho about my opinions I do recognize some people put conflict between their wol and scions because their wol is just meant to have issues and complexities about anything from their goals, to heroism, whatever. Some of my favorite wols/writers in the fanbase have written their little guy to completely reject being the wol and the scions, to have run away and be very bitter and angry towards even the gentlest attempts to get them back, and I love what they wrote.

I do personally think though that the msq is a very linear and somewhat rigid story, and a lot of people just sort of…struggle with that. Maybe cus they like the antagonist characters more, maybe because they disagree with the scions politics and goals, maybe the story just doesnt work with what they want for their wol, maybe they just don’t plain like the scions as people and end up feeling like they’re being “forced” to do all this crazy shit “for their sake” when nothing they want aligns with the scions. like I have issues with the scions and always had since arr and to a point I suspend my disbelief but. A lot of people seem to think yeah none of this WAS worth it a majority of the game is boring ridiculous bs and I only liked amaurot/whatever. and they want this to be the reality for their wol without blame, for them to have a good reason to blame others that just…doesn’t really exist. So then all the quests and trials are just an unwanted burden, even though…this is just the leap of faith you give towards a video game that asks you to play it. like game mechanics suddenly are a personal affront, minfilia asking you to turn in a quest to her becomes an indication of her like, moral failings and inconsiderateness, alphinaud being gung ho about better eorzea is just a marker of how he’s a coldhearted despotic 16 year old dragging around your sad chained up angel wol strongest person ever btw with a leash. but instead being like oh yeah I want a canon divergence big time from the get go a weird number of people just preach their wildly poor faith readings about fairly mild and well-meaning characters as truth LMFAOOO. which like, sure, everyone go ham and have fun, but I see a lot of resulting complaints directed at the writers with weird amounts of vitriol. like oh the fucking scions are cruel ingrates towards garlyman1 and the writers wont let me yell at them for it in the new patch, they don’t know what they’re doing with their own themes. in the future i want the option to say/do [shit that would be absolutely wild for the character known as “Thee WoL” to suddenly say with no buildup and is entirely substantiated on their oc’s story]. like people legit turning on ishikawa WHOOO is not a perfect writer by any means but for just running with the basic premise that “the wol and the scions are friends and they want to do good by the world”. and this thing is the basic impetus that progresses you along the entire story and lets you experience its content. Some people have expressed such heavy disgust at this basic ass core thing that you had to play along with to play the game since you first spoke to the scions that I just…????. I guess it makes me think like do you actually LIKE the story or. did you go through 263836822 hours of it just hating the vast majority of it. which would be less weird if the game wasn’t so long and expensive and didnt require so much deliberate choice to keep playing.

and admittedly this is just me turning my nose up at shit out of my own tastebuds but some people will reach to make any character who in canon is like, just some guy living life, into bizarrely evil total fucking incompetent or manipulative assholes who are obsessed with making the wol’s life hell and whose entire existences revolve around making the player specifically the…biggest victim I guess. like jesus on the cross shit. every day wake up eat my cereal traumatize the wol who bears the weight of all the worldly sins because nobody thinks they are just #human and are content to let them suffer alone. and I personally find that uber masturbatory and weird in any writing lol. in the end I think a lot of what people write and how they write it is a communication of ideas and if that idea is “everyone sucks and is so mean to me the most sane and rational and human one of all time” and if you have to reduce the humanity of other characters to bolster yours to the point they have no resemblance to their original selves im going to be like your ideas fucking suck dude. also sorry this turned into another humungo rant it is cool to have you share your thoughts with me and i dunno if this is anything for making a distinction or finding the balance between “player freedom to write their own story” vs. actual misinterpetation. in the end i dont know what’s going on in people’s heads for sure

[heretic-altias]

FFXIV Characters as Star Stable Players

Went through a ton of them talking to my friends and thought maybe some people out there somewhere might enjoy these so look below the cut to begin bc there's a lot of them.

Alphinaud: Every horse is level 15. He feeds them every day. Meticulously plans the best gear out for racing and studies each track. Top high score racer on his server, also does champs in his spare time. Will talk about racing to anyone who will listen

Alisaie: All her horses range from levels 1-5 and are depressed. She never feeds them, she's not wasting star coins on stable care when she could be saving up for another horse for her collection. Beat Alphie in a championship one time, will not let him live it down. Spends most of her time either chasing Alphie around or messing with her friends.

Thancred: has no idea what hes doing but Ryne really likes this game so he's playing with her. Lets her pick and name horses for him.

Ryne: Adores all of the horses. Roped both Thancred and Gaia into playing with her. All of her horses have names and personalities and she loves talking about them. Never asks for star coins because they're expensive, but Thancred always gifts her some on double sc weekend.

Gaia: Another one in the 'never feeds the horses club' has one Friesian and insists it's the best horse in the game and the only one she needs. It's level 15 bc she literally never rides another horse. Mostly plays with Ryne. Wrote a backstory for her horse at Ryne's urging, it's very edgy and tragic.

Y'shtola: Rarely plays. Saves up for a horse, logs on, buys it, takes pictures of it, and leaves for another two months until she can afford another.

Urianger: Spends 300 years naming each horse. Has an entire backstory for his character and all of their horses. Obsessed with the lore, frequently writes long lore posts for sso tumblr. Ryne loves reading his fics. Owns all of the old disc games, spent forever trying to get ahold of them and now treasures them.

G'raha Tia: The WoL likes this game so he expected it to be amazing. Ended up playing mostly with the others, but not really on his own. He just really likes hanging out with everyone else. Thinks all of the horses are nice, could never criticize a new release. Probably named his starter after the WoL or asked them to name it for him.

Emet-Selch: Hates every update. Writes long tumblr posts about how the game is terrible now and used to be better. Only rides old models, has thousands of star coins saved because he refuses to buy any of the new horses.

Lahabrea: Constantly leaves comments on sso's instagram about what they should add to the game. Takes it personally when those things don't appear literally the next week. People wonder why he still plays this game bc all he does is complain on instagram over stupid things. Still adores each of his horses and knows their names and personalities.

Elidibus: Analyzes every update and its pros and cons. Thinks SSO should hire him. Posts carefully worded critique posts that he spent hours thinking out. Forgets to actually play the game because he's so focused on doing this.

Aymeric: Loves taking screenshots. Will carefully coordinate every outfit and tack set he has and loves spending his time on it. Probably an instagram celebrity, maybe even an ambassador. Owns a well known club. Only says nice things about the game online to avoid drama, but admits criticisms to his friends.

Estinien: Instagram famous only because he's in Aym's club and Aym posts about him a lot. Complains about other players annoying him. Eventually privates his account bc Aym's fans are driving him insane. People probably wonder why Aym hangs out with him. Lets Aym take screenshots of him and goes to all the club events even though he'd rather just play his msq and save up for horses because he knows Aym is happy.

Lucia: acts as the co owner of Aym's ingame club. Helps filter out some of the chaotic join requests they constantly get. Manages the wait list, handles the club instagram page. Likes to run her training route every day.

Haurchefant: Thinks every horse is great, also in Aym's club. Loves being an instagram celebrity and talks to his fans all the time. Writes lots of posts about how great his friends and the game are. He's just here to have a good time.

Zenos: wants to race against everyone all the time. Gets mad if you say no. Competes with Alphie for those top scores on the server. Probably has one of those ongoing weirdly dark Instagram story accounts where characters like die and horses are stolen/abused and such.

Ysayle: collects pretty horses and enjoys screenshotting them. Likes light colors and a winter type aesthetic. Her club is the other big club on the server besides Aym's. They all ride white horses and matching outfits. She tries really hard to diffuse any drama in the community.

Hien: honestly just probably having a fun time. Likes to host tumblr meet ups just to talk to the people and hang out. Posts mediocre memes that are really only successful bc he's the most active meme page on tumblr. Everyone knows he's a really chill guy.

Arenvald: Probably plays with Alphinaud sometimes but is a little lost when Alphie starts talking about his racing obsession. Still likes to hang out with him even though Alphie crushes him whenever they race.

Minfillia: Owns the club all the scions are in, but it's really just a club for their friend group to chill in. Probably plans events for them all and coordinates everything so that everyone can make it. Takes good care of all her horses, reminds everyone to buy stable care each week even if they dont actually do it.

Lyse: Only feeds the horse she's riding. Loves running championships just for fun on whatever horse she happens to have when the announcement pops up for one. Chats with other players in the race waiting areas, and sometimes even in global if theres nothing happening.

Papalymo: Plays with Lyse. Tries to tell her she'd have more success in champs if she fed her horses and got some tack with actual stats, but she doesn't listen. Sometimes lets her beat him so she feels good about the race.

Fandaniel: insane. Constantly bugs the game and glitches into locked areas. Brags about it to anyone who will listen.

Magnai: really wants to start a romance RP in global. Never finds anyone who wants to play bc everyone reminds him they're against the game's rules.

Sadu: probably making fun of Magnai in global. Likes to start fights in that chat.

Nero: loves finding glitches and testing exploits. Knows a concerning number of ways to use cheat engine for funny things without being banned. Never actually cheats and uses these things solely for meme purposes. Probably leaks horse coats/models online before release just to watch the chaos.

Cid: Also good at finding bugs, but does so in order to report them to SSO support. Nero hates him reporting all the good bugs.

Ardbert: Has a little friend group club with the the other heros from the first. Doesn't really use social media, they prefer to just use their discord server with each other. All of them train together most afternoons.

Tataru: Her gear closet is perfectly organized. Every horse has an assigned stall. Also writes them backstories. Plans out her star coin saving months in advance and exactly what horses she'll buy in what order. Does not stray from it even if a new one comes out, she'll add it on to the end.

Krile: Another lore nerd, started playing at the same time Alphie did and sometimes reminds him about what he was like as a new player. Loves writing and responding to lore posts. Her and Urianger probably interact online a lot.

Louisoix: Played star stable years ago, was super famous in the community. Quit playing a couple years ago but everyone still talks about him. Others desperately try to be like him, but nobody can fill his shoes in the community.

Forchenault: Writes extensive posts of what he thinks of the game, mostly complaints. Will fight anyone who disagrees. Refuses to meet up with anyone else ingame, nobody actually knows if he even logs on still or just complains. Thinks actually playing every day is a waste of time.

Ashai: Instagram fanboy for zenos and his weirdly dark story. Zenos isn't even famous, he has like 220 followers, but Asahi worships the ground he walks on. Runs a fanpage for him where he just reposts Zenos's screenshots/edits and talks about how great they are. Draws fanart too, but he's a terrible artist. Zenos pretends he doesnt exist. Purposely switched his server to the one Zenos plays on and always keeps an eye out for him.

[porta-decumana]

5.55 spoilers below:

The MSQ was good.  I’ve been pretty critical of the MSQ since 5.0 (it’s pacing has left a bit to be desired imo except for 5.3) and 5.5 did not feel like the hype train it needed to be but 5.55 rectified it somewhat.  I still feel as though most of my hype is from the 6.0 trailers/info from Fanfest, not from how the story is presenting the next expac.  But I still enjoyed it overall and thought it was def above passable.  Just lacking a certain ‘oomph’ aspect I feel would’ve made it better.  Definitely an A- in my book.

The solo instance was by far my favorite part of the MSQ and probably the best thing about 5.5.  I loved getting to swap between the characters and revisit spooky lunar versions of our old primal friends.  I was very excited to see Old Lord of Crowns back again when I got to play as Urianger.  I hope that’s a sign that they’re revising the cards again, at least to give AST something a bit more for DPS rather than Malefic, Gravity, Combust, and Earthly Star.  I really miss old Lord of Crowns.  Critting that felt good.

Poor G’raha was probably traumatized by my awful BLM play.

Aymeric with the “I beg your pardon” line had me actually chuckling irl.  I am glad we’re finally putting to rest the beast tribes as secondary, passive antagonists.  It feels like a plot point overdue in terms of needing to be wrapped up.

Estinien dodging Aymeric just to fail to dodge Aymeric = good shit.  I hope Estinien is also ready to have Nidhogg roar when he’s in my Trusts.  What is that Koji?  He wants to make sure he doesn’t go too hard and hurt us?  He didn’t seem to care during the Carteneau instance.  .__.

Fourchenault was very much what I expected.  I feel like he’s sus though for reasons the characters have stated.

I’m still waiting for Fandaniel and Zenos to do something that feels pertinent other than vague about things as they have for the past 3 patches.  It’s been nice and we did get a tidbit more with the roar from the tower but... I was wanting a bit more.  Just a smidge.  Also there’s no way that roar isn’t Anima.  Having just watched FFX footage, the roar sounds the same but louder in FFXIV.  Runner up thought: the roar is some primal embodiment of Garlemald which terrifies me more because what if that means a primal version of Solus?  Anima seems more likely though.

Venat being the person at Silvertear feels basically confirmed now with Hydaelyn-like dialogue to go along with it.  I question why nothing more is made of that scene.  The WoL at this point is probably seasoned enough to be like “hey guys... there’s some shit going down, I just saw a weird glowing lady over there that sounds like Hydaelyn” but I digress, maybe that’s me projecting a bit.

I’m not done with Bozja yet (gotta do the new instance) but some thoughts after hitting rank 25:

I’m ngl, once I would’ve been all for the Mikoto x Cid stuff but since I have a friend who ships her WoL with Cid, I’m just... hm.  It’s reaffirming the fact that I like having the NPCs having ambiguous love lives instead of having shipping in the actual quests.  I think Yoshi P has made good calls in the past about being as open with stuff like that as possible so people can headcanon whatever they want.  So seeing it up front... has me with mixed feelings.  

Where is Nero, where is my boy.  This entire experience would be improved if 1 Nero tol Scaeva was present.

Gaius getting namedropped was nice considering the entire Zadnor arc feels super ARR-esque.  Gabranth feels like a younger Gaius with less indoctrination and a different end goal.  Gabranth was my favorite character in XII and I’m excited to see more of him.

Oboro and Tsubame being in Zadnor were both pleasant surprises.  As well as the Nagxia lore from the field notes.

Overall, Zadnor being the exact same thing as Bozja is just... I mean, I expected this.  They told us this.  But that doesn’t make it any more palatable.  At least the level grind isn’t too awful (looking at you Eureka).  The first area was abysmally flat and uninteresting but the rest of the zone is okay.  I wish if we were gonna continue to get instances like that, they would be... less bland and flat?  It just makes the slog seem more sloggish imo.

SHEMHAZAI <3

Lilja is growing on me.  I wish her a happy be in more content in the future and a very live through all of it.

I continue to be conflicted about Misija.  I think if I resent her at all, it’s because she kicked my ass one too many times in DR.  I’m... intrigued about what will happen to her, I guess. 

Fran showing up again with the speeder and giving me big XII nostalgia.

Cid coming back for this arc of Bozja ALSO felt really good.  I was sad when he wasn’t around for the last few installments.  I’m glad he’s getting to resolve his feelings about the Bozja Incident.  

[thebmatt]

Another set of Character Development questions, this time very specific to FFXIV

I cam across another set of character development questions on the Emet-Selch Bookclub discord, and since I love these things, I’m going to answer all 35 of them for all 4 of my crew! Ready? Let’s go!

1. Where were they during the Calamity? 

Franks had not yet made the journey between their worlds yet, he only did so about a year into the Seventh Umbral Era.

Fearless was still living on Aerslant, which I don’t know if there’s any canonical description of how the Calamity affected that region, but I’m going to go with “they felt the effects, but it wasn’t quite mass chaos like it was in Eorzea”

Dahkar and Rheika were both living in the Black Shroud but were mostly spared the direct effects. 

2. How did they acquire their Echo? 

All four of them received the Echo as it plays out in the MSQ. Dahkar and Rheika got it after dealing with the enraged treants at Lifemend Stump, Fearless and Franks after fighting the frenzied Mossback at the Seasong Grotto

3. Does their Echo function like it does in the MSQ? Or is there a twist to it? 

For the most part it functions like it does in the MSQ, but there’s some extra abilities that it provides that I’m planning on exploring in a future fic. To summarize: the Armory system is represented as a pocket dimension the Warriors can store clothing, weapons, and tools in. The Echo also allows them to “pause and save” any learning they have done in a particular discipline and resume it as if no time had passed whenever they choose

4. Do they have a canon mount or minion? What's its name(s)? 

All four of them have their chocobos, which I don’t have names for yet (the ones in game aren’t canon, as they’re mostly inside jokes). Aside from those, two of my crew have a couple of mounts special to them.

Franks has kept Maggie, the Magitek Armor liberated by the Garlond Ironworks. Most recently, he’s taken to using a Gabriel Alpha magitek unit that he liberated and rebuilt from the Bozjan Southern Front

Rheika is incredibly fond of the True Griffin she befriended while helping the Ananta at Castellum Velodyna. 

5. Where are they from? What was their childhood like? 

I’ve covered this in some of my “Details!” posts I’ve done for them all, so I’ll be brief here

Franks - from another world, grew up on a farm, pretty normal farmer’s childhood

Rheika - grew up outside of Gridania in a Keeper of the Moon community, a middleish child of a large number of sisters. Aside from being made to understand WAY too early that the Wood Wailers will always treat her like a second class citizen because she is a Keeper of the Moon, she had a pretty happy childhood

Dahkar - Born on the Azim Steppe, mother took him to Gridania after his tribe was killed. Similarly treated like outsider, but otherwise kept mostly to himself, only meeting a couple of friends growing up.

Fearless - born and raised in Aerslant, the Sea Wolf Roegadyn homeland. Child of wealthy parents, she had a privileged upbringing but no choice in anything.

6. How did they deal with the massacre on the Waking Sands? 

All of them were horrified and angry by it. Franks had never really experienced the Garlean Empire’s brutality firsthand before this, and it cemented a personal desire to fight them. Fearless, who’d begun to develop serious feelings for Minfilia, was almost beside herself with worry. 

7. How did they deal with Haurchefant's death? 

All of them took it pretty hard, but Dahkar, who’d been romantically involved with him by this point, was almost broken by it. His grief nearly consumed him in rage, quite literally, but “Fray” managed to help him hold it together until he could process and grieve. 

8. How did they feel about the liberation of Ala Mhigo? Do they feel it could have been handled differently? Where they at all bothered by how they were involved? 

I get the sense from the way this question was worded that the original author doesn’t care for the Stormblood storyline much, but honestly, I don’t have a problem with it. None of my crew are native Ala Mhigans, but they were all too happy to participate when it became clear that the time for it to happen had been chosen for everyone by Ilberd’s actions. Plus, y’know, there was that whole potential Bahamut-level primal they needed to deal with. Losing so handily to Zenos was a serious morale blow that messed them all up quite a bit, but all four of them went along with the plan. It offered them a chance to get better, to weaken the Empire and strengthen themselves. 

9. How do they feel about Zenos? 

THey all hate the guy for nearly killing so many of their friends and injuring them so badly. Later, pretty much universal relief when he died, pissed off that he didn’t stay that way, and now hell-bent on ending him once and for all. All of them pretty much agree that bastard needs to die.

10. How do they feel about their relationship with Hydaelyn? Midgarsormr?

Initially they accepted that Hydaelyn was a benevolent force, but once they learned of her origin, especially that she was a primal, a private debate broke out among them all the first chance they got to talk about it (which was after the Shadowbringers 5.0 MSQ when Rheika finally got back to the Source). Franks is very concerned that they’ve been tempered. Dahkar is now extremely wary of her, but isn’t certain their free will has been removed. Rheika and Fearless are unwilling to give up on her, but don’t understand why she stopped speaking to them. 

Initially, they were all furious at Midgardsormr, but came to realize that his deeds in severing their connection to Hydaelyn definitely made them stronger. They now regard him as a friend and a source of wisdom.

11. Were they more sympathetic to the dragons, Ishgardians, neither or both? 

Franks wasn’t certain of this, having known sentient dragons that had absolutely been wronged by mortals in his homeworld, but he didn’t see a way to fix this on his own, so he went along with helping the Ishgardians. He was absolutely on board with Alphinaud’s plan to try and end it, however. 

The others had far less experience with Dragons, and initially accepted their version of events without much thought. They immediately turned on the whole idea when the deception was exposed, though. 

12. How has their job affected whatever headcanon version is of the MSQ if any? 

As I’ve explained in previous posts, I’ve parsed out all of the jobs (except Monk) to my characters, with the aim of balancing the following ideas.

○ At all times during the story, one of them should be capable of tanking, one healing, and the others DPSing ○ If possible no one should have more than 1 job from any of the 5 roles ○ Obviously, don’t give jobs to characters that make no sense for them to pick up

It’s taken a few revisions, but I’m currently happy with the setup they have. For the most part, they’re extremely proficient with their chosen fighting styles and don’t mind swapping around to fill whatever need is present. For Heavensward, the trio who got their new jobs in Ishgard chose to stick with them for the most part, and for much of the Far Eastern parts of Stormblood, Rheika and Fearless chose to stay Ninja and Samurai for the most part, since it felt “right” to them to use those arts when fighting for Doma’s liberation.

13. Are they close with any of the other Scions? Who do they get along with the best? 

Franks gets along best with the more scholarly minded members of the Scions, specifically Y’shtola, Urianger, Krile, and G’raha when he later joins. 

Rheika and Tataru have become the best of friends since she joined. She’s always encouraged Tataru to better herself however she wants, and really loves the newfound confidence she’s gained

Dahkar is closest to Thancred among the senior scions. Among the other members, he’s flirted with Ephemie a fair amount, and is considering whether or not he wants to deepen that to something more serious.

Fearless is probably closest to Alisaie. She admires her confidence a great deal. 

14. Of the Scions, who are they most worried for? 

Franks is most worried for Y’shtola and her “aethersight” draining her life force. He’s actively trying to modify the SCH magicks that cured the tonberry plague to restore her eyesight (and Thancred’s ability to manipulate aether)

Rheika is probably most worried about Urianger, as he’s shown a very disturbing pattern for pursuing a hidden agenda to further the scion’s goals, He claims to be done with that, but she’s worried he might slip into old habits in the future.

Dahkar and Fearless aren’t particularly worried about any of the Scions, beyond the default “these are my adopted family and I don’t want anything to happen to them” level of fear.

15. Is your WoL promiscuous? Celibate? Or just waiting for the right person? 

Franks has so far been unable to move past the death of his wife to consider any new relationships. He’s also far older (if only mentally) than anyone who’d be interested, which also blocks him from considering anything new.

Rheika is aromantic, but pansexual. Romance does nothing for her, she just likes having fun with anyone she considers attractive and will respect her rule. She’s got a number of paramours in various parts of the world.

Dahkar is bi, and willing to engage in casual liaisons but at his heart, he really wants a committed relationship. After Haurchefant died, he hasn’t been involved in anything serious since, only crushing on people emotionally unavailable, such as Yugiri (bound by her oath to HIen) or Kurenai (bound by the oath of the Ruby Princess). He’s recently come to realize that this was a form of self-sabotage and is trying to open up again.

Fearless crushes on every pretty girl she has come across, but is usually too shy or lacking in self-confidence to follow up on them. She greatly regrets never telling Minfilia how she felt about her. Her time as a Warrior of LIght and the friendship she’s built with her fellows has helped tremendously. She’s currently involved in a poly triad with two other women.

16. What does your WoL do to relax? What sorts of distractions do they seek? Do they foster any bad habits as a result?

They enjoy spending time together or with the other Scions. If they’re at a point when they need to be alone, they’ll do the following.

Franks likes to tinker, build things, or solve arcanima problems. He can sometimes get wrapped up in any of those and lose track of time. He’s also prone to hiding away to avoid socializing.

Rheika will generally find someone to take to bed if she’s really stressed, otherwise she’s fine just hanging with people 

Depending on his mood, Dahkar will either find a monster to fight (never something he’s not confident he can beat) or leap to whatever the highest place he can find is and just enjoy the view.

Fearless enjoys reading novels, but as of late prefers spending time with her girlfriends.

17. Who is their favorite Alliance leader? Who do they get along with the best out of them? 

Counting only the 5 members of the Eorzean Alliance, in order from most to least.... 1. Lyse - because she’s one of them, come on 2. (tie) Merlwyb/Aymeric - because they are good people who have the strength to move their nation forward to a better place 3. Nanamo - she’s trying to make Ul’dah better, at least, even if she isn’t able to affect change. Plus she’s not doing enough to address corruption in the Brass Blades 4. Kan-E-Senna - she seems entirely content to leave her people at the mercy of elementals and isn’t doing NEAR enough to address racial inequality in Gridania

18. Does your WoL fully embrace their role as the WoL or do they try to remain humble? 

For the most part, they’re humble, but all of them are not afraid to use their titles/fame to get what they need or to make someone’s life better if they can do so. 

19. What do they think of the Heaven's Ward? 

The only ones they really got to know were the two that tried to condemn Alphinaud and Tataru for “heresy” and the one who attacked them when they were meeting with Hilda. Those were...not positive experiences. That, coupled with the fact that all of them willingly followed the Archbishop into summoning Primals into themselves pretty much sealed their opinion on the rest. 

20. Of all the places they've been to, which is their favorite? Do they like to go back there? 

Franks enjoys spending time in Ishgard, both because the manufactory is there and he enjoys collaborating with the other machinists and because he really enjoys working on the Restoration of the Firmament.

Rheika enjoys being in Mor Dhona and the Crystarium the most. It’s full of people all working together for the same end, and she’s happy being a part of it and doing her part to help.

Dahkar also loves Mor Dhona, but he’s found going back to the Far East oddly soothing. He feels a connection to the Azim Steppe, despite not really knowing what it means to live there, he wants to learn. 

Fearless has made Kugane her home, thanks in part to her one of her girlfriends living there and the other currently on an extended tour there as well. 

21. Are there any raid storylines (Ivalice, Coil of Bahamut, Werlyt, etc.) you consider to be canon for your WoL? Which ones don't you consider canon? 

I consider all of them to be canon, save potentially the NieR crossover alliance raids. Honestly, the entire story of that place just felt so odd and out of place that I didn’t really enjoy it, and I’m tempted just to say it didn’t happen. Everything else, though? Absolutely canonical.

22. Do you  have a unique tale for their job class or is it pretty much like what it is in the game?

Most of them are pretty much as they were in the game, though I have some personal headcanons on how Arcanima and the Paladin job work, the latter of which I’ve explored in one of my fics. The former will be somewhat explained in the current longform fic I’m working on.

23. Are there any side quest storylines that you're particularly fond of or think of as being canon to your WoL's experiences? 

Aside from the raids, alliance raids, and trial series, which 21 covered, I’d say all of the Beast tribe quests, the Scholasticate quests (which I suppose means Hildibrand has to be canon too), and most of the sidequesting in Sui-no-Sato are all canon experiences.

24. Does your WoL have any phobias? 

None of them have any real strange or irrational fears of note, not that I’ve been able to think of that make sense to the characters, anyway.

25. Do they have any habits or rituals that they do to soothe themselves? I.e. Playing with their hair, chewing their lip, fidgeting, etc. 

Franks will absentmindedly fidget with a tool or some spare parts. He’s actually built a small gadget that has some switches and buttons that do nothing for this purpose.

Rheika is restless and prefers to move while thinking. She tends to bounce a leg if she has to sit still too long.

Dahkar is pretty capable of concentrating without needing any kind of habit to aid in it.

Fearless tends to bottle it up until she can release it in private, either by meditating or dancing, depending on her level of anxiety and privacy expectations 

26. Do they suffer any traumas from any of their adventures? How do you foresee this affecting them going forward? 

Fearless was actually persuaded to pick of the Astrologian job thanks to the trauma of the banquet. She wanted to be able to predict anything that awful from happening to her and her friends again. 

LIkewise Dahkar was so traumatized by that (and the Braves’ betrayal), it was the final catalyst needed for him to be open to his Darkside and become a Dark Knight. He’s also the one most affected by Haurchefant’s death, and as I explained earlier, it’s subconsciously kept him from going after other romantic relationships

Rheika had nightmares about Tesleen for months, and they were made worse when she herself nearly became a sin eater. She practiced quick drawing her bow and hitting accurate long distance shots for a long time after that, wanting to be prepared to save someone from that kind of distance if she had to.

Franks has dealt with enough trauma in his previous life that a lot of what he’s seen on Hydaelyn doesn’t affect him as much as it otherwise might.

27. How did the events of Shadowbringers impact them? 

Rheika was the only one present for the events of 5.0, and my headcanon is that she wasn’t able to get home until after Hades was defeated. She felt alone and adrift without her fellow Warriors, and the trauma she endured did not help matters. Seeing them summoned to aid her was a balm on her soul, and when Franks figured out how to get the others to the First a little before the events of the Eden raid, she was overjoyed. 

28. Were they suspicious or open to Emet-Selch's presence when he first appeared? 

Rheika never believed he had good intentions. She always expected him to betray them at some point, but there didn’t seem to be much she COULD do before that happened. Even after he rescued Y’shtola, that was never enough for her trust. 

29. Did your WoL suspect anything was amiss with Urianger or the Crystal Exarch? Did they feel betrayed? Upset? When the truth finally emerged? 

Rheika immediately recognized G’raha Tia (”I mean he wasn’t even TRYING to change his voice!”), but she assumed there was a reason he was hiding from her, and she trusted Urianger’s vision. When the truth came out, she was angry about being lied to. She understood their reasoning, but threated to beat the crap out of both of them if they ever tried something like that again.

30. What was their highest point in Shadowbringers? Their lowest? What caused it? 

High point - ending Hades. Low Point - failing to save Tesleen

31. What were their first impressions of Hien? 

Aside from Rheika and Dahkar finding him very hot, they were all very impressed by his willingness to sacrifice his own life if his people chose not to fight any longer

32. Did they trust Asahi right away? Why or why not? 

Not right away, no. None of them are quick to trust Garlean officials, and Asahi felt way too slimy. None of them were all together surprised with how things turned out, save for when Maxima agreed to abide by the exchange after everything went south. 

33. How did they feel about what happened with Yotsuyu? Did they feel like she was justified in her actions? 

All of them felt bad for Yotsuyu’s horrible upbringing (and have made it VERY clear to Hien that he needs to make sure the new Doma does NOT allow for this to happen again), but accept that she made the choices she did and that ultimately, she needed to be stopped. 

34. Would you say your WoL is fundamentally a good person? Or are they a bad person that's been persuaded to do the right things? 

All of them are absolutely good people fundamentally. They know they’re the only ones that can fight the ridiculous battles they get into, and they’re okay with doing it, because ultimately, they want to save lives. 

35. How do they feel about the fact that they've killed a lot of people and/or things?

They all understand that for every life they have to take, it means more are safe, sound, and happy down the road. All of their choices are made with that goal in mind. 

[astroellipse]

heavensward main quest done, for a second time!!! finally!!!

Wow! Yeah, still bad. The Heavens Ward was a terrible set of villains. they COULD have been good. We only really interact with like... 3 of them? And for just about a single scene each. Really coulda expanded on Ishgard’s religion and the inquisition and you know, the beliefs and conditions that led to the rise of literally the final boss of this expansion. Doesn’t even let me kill Zephirin directly. Still mad about that.

But anyways. I am going to complain again about this thing I’ve complained about while writing these I don’t even know how many times already. ACKNOWLEDGE THAT THE WOL IS TOO POWERFUL! PLEEAAASSSSSSE!!! Make an issue of it! Spark some angst or something! More than just them absorbing too much light, take it further! Take issue with their OWN power! Thordan, who was momentarily the most powerful being in existence, was TERRIFIED of the WoL! And Hydaelyn wasn’t even at full strength backing them up or anything, they’re simply terrifying in how strong they are! Even Elidibus acknowledges it!

I’m gonna PUNCH something. This is why I have my own little story with Secret, just to play with this idea. The obvious endgame here is to create a world without the capacity to summon primals, and since the gods are primals, a world without the need for gods. That’s right baby, we’re playing Xenoblade Chronicles now! All that’s left is for the WoL to beat up both Hydaelyn and Zodiark, take on that mantle of power for themself, and... well, there isn’t an obvious answer. Secret’s, at present, is to destroy herself but there is in fact going to be more story after the Zodiark/Hydaelyn saga, so that’s a no-go unless they pull another reboot which I don’t think is even a possibility at this point.

God dammit man. I fucking love this game and this stupid story even for how incoherent it is. There are so many good ideas! I just wish so many of them weren’t left to rot!!! Alright. Okay. I have that out of my system now.

Anyways. I think it’s funny how different my reaction to Ardbert is now. He left my mind immediately after his introduction and I actively loathed him for the longest time. But man I just saw him for the first time in this playthrough and started giggling so much. Love this dude. Love his stupid default midlander hyur face. Even the title “Warrior of Darkness” didn’t make my skin crawl too much this time around. Just. God. I’m glad the writing gets better later on. I will say for the umpteenth time that I can’t understand why people like HW so much.

I think I touched on this before too, but it’s really just the individual characters that carry things for me. Haurchefant is obviously such a highlight and his death is incredibly emotional even for how plainly stupid the circumstances are. Or, like, I don’t really care whatever the hell Nidhogg’s doing, but I DO care about my guy Estinien losing it, again.

This entire bit with him fighting for control has actually been made 100x funnier by doing the DRG quests. “I can control the power, I’m the master, I won’t let it take control” Oh yeah, you absolute dambass? Then why’d I have to beat the sense back into you just a couple of moons ago? Huh? Oh, because you’ve already given into the power before? But it’s different this time, even though you’re clearly more agitated about getting your revenge? Extremely doubtful. And now this leadup to the second Nidhogg fight has turned into one big “I told you so”.

But! I’m done for now. Might write again later tonight still... actually no, it’s already 3am. But know that I am developing Thoughts about Doran. My precious little purple man. Love this dude.

[fmlfpl]

Lineup Lamentations - DGW24

Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s for the week!

—

WALSH

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Vardy, Pereira, Dendoncker

IN (for -4 points hit): Haller, Gomez, Mahrez

Time to move it around and shake it up.

***Disclaimer though - I only did the defense move as of the time of this writing. I want to see if there is any news when I wake up but if not these will be my moves.***

After spending the rest of Sunday bugging out, broadly speaking, about what to do with Periera I decided after further consultation to just get Joemez. The money seemed like it was needed elsewhere and ultimately I didn't feel that the 1.2m was best spent in looking for VVD goals. As shouted on the pod..cheapest route into the clean has always generally a good rule of thumb to follow. After that is where my brain melted.

Obviously I was extremely hot in the pants for Mahrez...and I did the Joemez with half a mind to do Tony M to Mahrez the following day. Then I realized that there were so many more doors before my very eyes!

My 11th starter has been really problematic for quite a while...mainly since I brought Kun in and have all these cheap fucks at the edge of my squad. I will be on suicide watch when Vardz bangs against Wet Spam but ultimately he felt like someone I could do without given their difficult incoming fixtures. Turning him and a dead spot on my team into two real things feels very solid for the immediate term and will let me bench defenders with questionable fixtures who I otherwise would have had to start.

Haller is really just a Dings placeholder...and feels very fun in this moment. Didn't really look at him until Monday but he's low key been putting up good underlying stats recently. Sure the DGW are rough on paper fixtures but who knows....I want to feel alive. I owned him earlier in the season and I don't really remember it being that bad? Or it was so bad that I blacked it out of my memory. Who is to say for sure?

Dings has Palace and Livp these next two...with a shout to be rested tomorrow to boot. Haller has Brighton GW25 so it seems like a pretty low cost punt for these two to maybe get lucky. I'm backing my eye test of Leic looking fucked up and binning Vardz although I am fully aware of the risk here. Could end up being a catastrophe..he's still really highly owned...but if he does blank against West Ham I expect a fire sale ahead of their difficult run.

Mahrez in is just..so good. The feels are strong with him and I'm rolling triple City attack right now. We'll see if this has me fly or plummet.

GK:

Schmeichel (WHU)

Woodman god I hope Woodman is in the actual Prem soon I love him so much. He'll keep the spot warm for the long eight day gameweek while Kasper thinks about what he's done on the bench.

Fucking hate watching him..just sits on his fuckin line all game like DDG. Not expecting a clean at all this week.

DEF:

Finally only throwing three defenders out for the first time in what feels like maybe all fucking season. Dunno.

Alexander-Arnold & Gomez (wol, whu)

Back on double Livp defense after I conveniently got rid of Robbo right about exactly before they started their run of infinity cleans in a row like the genius that I am. Trent and Joemez in for the double..nothing really to say here.

Willians (BUR)

Alongside is another red - baby Will has a home banker against Burnley.

As long as they can keep their noses clean on set pieces a clean at home feels pretty good to me. Bwill can fucking chill and running up and down the wing against the likes of Hendrick or whoever the fuck will feel like a walk in the park compared to having to deal with Mo last game.

MID:

Salah (wol, whu)

Speaking of Mo, hi Mo. GLHF Mo.

Martial (BUR)

Tony M stays...I really had a hard time with him..but ultimately he's still playing up top and is now presumably on pens..for a sortakinda top six team.

I still feel like he'll trickle in points with goals here and there even though their fixtures are pretty mixed. Again, I still don't know what "good" fixtures look like for United nor do I expect to. As long as Martial is fit and starting he scores in this league. Looked good against Livp and has a home banker this GW. He stays.

Mahrez & De Bruyne (shu)

New boy Mahrez joins old friend ging god Kevin for the double up in mid on City.

Mahrez pretty sexy guy lately and it would've felt dirty to have been going so insane about him on the pod and not to buy him in my team. SheffU away is a rough fixture but the way he has been looking lately I back him to get points against anyone.

FWD:

Maupay (bou)

Neal..oh Neal. I don't even know anymore with Neal. Another good fixture but ugh he's been frustrating. Another almost goal at the end of the game for him this weekend I was having flashbacks to that Everton chance a few games ago. He's still sooo good eye test and build up and IRL stuff but it's just not there yet for FPL points. The team doesn't create a ton in open play and he's a concern. Fixtures turn soon so he's on borrowed time. Would be nice if he could put up one nice score before I bin him. At Edward is always a good time and place to start.

Agüero (shu)

Kun feels hard to drop right now but who knows what his fitness levels are like. Either way he's on song and is going nowhere.

Haller (lei, LIV)

Last guy is Sebby Haller. As mentioned earlier has been putting up very solid stats lately and really just rolling the dice here on the big man up top with two games this gameweek. Stranger things have happened and I'm going with the high ceiling play in the DGW.

TRIPLE CAP:

Salah (wol, whu)

Mo.

Derek, that sweet summer child, really just put me in my place on the pod when we discussed this topic. When he uses the triple cap he wants “to go for it.”

Simple words from a complex and cultured man.

Mo has hat trick potential every game he walks on the pitch.

Sure, Trent has a pretty high ceiling also...but assists from corners and goals usually from direct frees are hard to predict. Mo is Mo...it was always going to be Mo.

—

ALON

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Guilbert, Sarr, Jiménez

IN (for -4 points hit): Alexander-Arnold, Grealish, Haller

Fuck it man I don’t know.

I didn’t need to hit at all I’m doing it for pure fun with the chance of spiking something.

Guilbert and dead Sarr to Trent and Jack is very easy and obvious and good - I feel like I do not need to address those transfers at all.

Jim on the other hand my nemesis needed to be fucked off. I just can’t stand looking at him in my team at all anymore. He has home Liverpool same as Haller so basically cancels out there and then Haller has the additional fixture and the way better fixture next week too.

I might Wildcard next week but I don’t know, I’m living in the now and right now I want my big french love of life Haller to do some things.

Hitting while on a loss in the FML FPL Cup is probably very stupid but I am also probably definitely very stupid and bad at FPL... Don’t really know what I’m doing at this juncture and sorta don’t really care.

Come on Haller.

GK:

Ryan (bou)

Whatever fucking Mat with one T just cannot get it done anymore.

Cleans in GWs 1-15: 4

Bonus points in GWs 1-15: 11

Cleans since I got him GWs 16-23: 1

Bonus points in GWs 16-23: 0

Feels bad man.

DEF:

van Dijk & Alexander-Arnold (wol, whu)

Delightful double.

I called that VVDong on last week’s lambs which is cool. I wish this game was H-O-R-S-E rules and I got a bonus for calling my shot but alas it’s not and it’s horrible... Well Hammers and Wolves aren’t as bad as Man. Utd. at set piece defending but they’re not great either so maybe Virge will be in the mood again and propel me to the moon?

Trent needs no words.

Hoping for the double clean and anything else is a bonus boner.

Söyüncü (WHU)

Still very cleanable but is anything really cleanable for Leicester anymore? TBD.

Is this GW1 darling SoyBoy’s final game in my side? Possibly. And if I Wildcard then definitely.

So much TBD.

MID:

Salah (wol, whu)

Mo hitting some form. He looks great lately.

De Bruyne (shu)

We just hold Kev.

Maddison (WHU)

Another of my Leicester triple to be fucked off next week if I Wildcard and Maddo may still go even if I don’t Wildcard... he was flying for a while and then getting demolished by City and Liverpool back to back may have fucked this team up.

Grealish (WAT)

Lol @ Me shouting Jack for GW1 team and the not having the confidence or balls to actually do the thing.

Here we are it’s GW24 and I’m just getting him for the first time when he’s already bagged a few double digit hauls and over 100 points. Fucking Lol @ Me that’s my season in summary.

FWD:

Vardy (WHU)

One last hurrah? Another Fox another chopping block as far as I’m concerned.

It’s been not really a fun ride since everyone had Vardz and everyone capped Vardz almost every week so it’ll feel good to fuck him off soon.

Home Hammers come on go make a statement Leicester COME ONNNN.

Calvert-Lewin (NEW)

Backed the marriage of stats+eye-test and got paid for it with 8 points last week. Still love DCL for these next three fixtures NEW wat CRY - team looks pretty good and he looks good. Like the kid.

Haller (lei, LIV)

It’s a punt. Nothing more then that.

It’s also a stupid punt draining 4 points from my team but it’s 4 points I’m willing to gamble with clearly.

Maybe he does a thing. Ya never know. Leicester been the opposite of solid since the Ndidi injury and Liverpool I mean again - ya never know.

He’s class and his stats are great just need those to turn into some points come on Seb. 

Allons-y! Alonzo!

TRIPLE CAP:

Salah (wol, whu)

Ride together, die together.

We’ve always been Mo boys gotta say.

I don’t think either of us have owned Mane in actually years (the s makes it plural). It’s not smart but we’re just Mo boys I don’t know what else to say. Did you see his bod? I mean...

Pens and form and eye-test and maybe it’ll be a 4231 with him up top vs. Wolves like it was last time which would also be great for us.

The machine... go on... it’s fucking time...

Got some catching up to do in the Golden Boot race too.

It has to start somewhere. It has to start sometime. What better place than here? What better time than now? All, hell, can’t stop us now.

—

NOT RANDOM SLACKER OF THE WEEK: Barik G9

The words of Random Slacker are not officially endorsed by this website nor any employees of FML FPL LLC.

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Abraham & Hayden

IN: Greenwood & Moura

Time to stop being a passive little bitch and spend the transfer I've been floating since I WC'd in GW13.

I suppose I haven't had too many fires to put out considering I've been floating for actual 10 GWs, but Tamela looking like a ball-fumbling fuck and the death of Marcus Rashford (F) is enough to push me into a new 3-5-2 formation for the first time this season.

Is 90% of the reason I'm getting Lucash because I'm a Mou fanboy? I sink so. I like the 7.1 for a forward shout, even on a team looking diabolical. After all, I have Tony too, don't I?

Wait, do I have 5 strikers now? Seems good.

GK:

Ryan (bou)

Ryan has been pretty awful since Alon killed him by bringing him in, but let's see how he gets on against a relegation zone Bournemouth.

I've stopped expecting cleans from him altogether, how about some saves pls? Kill for a 4 pointer from the 3 point merchant.

DEF:

Stephens (cry)

I got on the Stephens train last week and now I'm giving him the start ahead of Soyboy amidst a horrific Leicester team that can't defend for its life without Ndidi. Go on, Jack. Clean against Woy's boys one time.

Gomez & Alexander-Arnold (wol, whu)

The double festivities begin.

It's hilarious to watch people trip themselves over whether Gomez is a good pick, worrying about his place in the team when he's getting points for fun. Was said on the pod this season that sometimes people go into "wait and see" mode when they should be getting the player in and squeezing the points while they can. Is 5.2 for a player that cleans every week good?

He's nailed and first choice alongside VVD until proven otherwise.

As we say in the South, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

*laughs in clean sheet points*

And what can I say about Trent? He assists like a midfielder with the right foot of a forward and the clean sheet points of a defender.

Trent is a god and if you don't own him you probably enjoy watching other people do your partner.

MID:

Mane (wol, whu)

Do I wish this said Mo instead of Mane? Perhaps.

Do I want to be like my ML rival schmuck who's spent 4 (FOUR) transfers this year switching between Mo and Mane like a coked up fiend? Absolutely not.

While I reckon Mo is the slightly better pick right now based on pens and my personal eye test, that only happened recently.

Mane has been on another level for a while now and I expect them to keep trading points throughout the upcoming amazing run.

Go on Sadio, double gameweek me into glory.

De Bruyne & Mahrez (shu)

Goddammit, as I type this why are all of my players away?

Our resident ginger goes to one of the toughest places in the league. Hopefully he'll do some Kev magic to break them down and not play DM.

And sometimes in life the stars just align perfectly, like transferring in Algerian legend Riyad right before he hauls for a 17 pointer and cuts my rank in half.

Shoutout to my boy Al on Slack who followed me on the punt that everyone wants to take now.

Even though he got a 1 pointer last week, he's still averaging 9 in my team if my math is correct, is that good?

I'm happy to own Mahrez for at least a few more, because truth be told he's even a shout to return off the bench when he doesn't start. It's happened before this season and it could happen again.

Stats are through the roof and eye test off the charts.

C'mon Mahrez, do the best you can under Fraudiola's audacity to ever bench you.

Martial (BUR)

I finally get to write about a home fixture and it's Manchester United. Fuck.

I'm not in the soothsayer game, so I'm not gonna try and predict how they look without Rash.

Instead, I'm just gonna hope that Tony keeps Tony'ing which means constantly dancing in and around the box like the beautiful French boy he is when fit.

I still believe.

Moura (NOR)

Finally, a home banker.

Queue Tottenham lose 1-0 and Mourinho blames the color of the match ball.

Hoping Norwich get absolutely duon (if Spurs 2.0 without Kane are even capable of such a thing) and Lucas is in and around the points. Doesn't get much better than this fixture wise.

FWD:

Vardy (WHU)

Still a steady hold for me until it's absolutely obvious to get rid.

Bring your vodka and your charlie because WHU are diabolical.

Ings (cry)

3 blanks from 11 starts in my side.

How much trouble will I be in if I name my first born Daniel?

What was at first going to be a ride-the-fixtures absolute punt is now easily a season long hold. Just knocked on wood so he can stay fit all season and keep ticking along.

TRIPLE CAP:

Alexander-Arnold (wol, whu)

The novelty of triple captaining a defender was too much to resist. When will this ever happen again? A defender is actually explosive enough to TC, playing for one of the best teams in PL history, with 2 good fixtures in a double gameweek and a 6 day break. Perfect storm.

This isn't just any defender, it's a guy who starts every game with a base score of 6 + any assists/dongs he gets. With 13 returns on the season, he gets a lot.

If City had this double and Trent played for them exactly the same way, perhaps I'd TC my City attackers. They're a relentless attack that wants the sixth when they're up 5-0, whereas Livp are content with turning cruise control on when they're up a goal or two. For those reasons, and the clean sheet potential, I personally see more upside going for Trent than Mane.

Here's the worst-average-best case scenario I envision:

Worst case: 8 points from a clean and blank. Surely they clean once at least, right?

8 x 3 = 24.

Not ideal.

Average case: ~12 points from two cleans or a blank and a double return game.

12 x 3 = 36.

Respectable.

Best case: Fuck me x 3 = triple fuck me.

Flying.

Feels weird to be putting my faith in someone even younger than me but here we are, I'm TC'ing a defender, and now it's on lambs which means no going back.

I've never felt more alive.

[astroellipse]

waiting for duty finder penalty to run out bc I didn’t want the others to suffer with my garbo internet and lag spikes

I saw some of the fanfest news today mostly through my fc live commentating on it... a couple are already committed to switching to viera once 6.0 comes out and i am. Thinking about it. Doran could be a bunny boy. They are very cute and pretty. Also I’ve come to terms with the fact that Doran is at least a little bit of a self insert, just a tiny bit more than Secret who is more her own character and. As others on twitter have said they are very gender. At the very least I’m axing one of my retainers and getting a bunny man. I still have my msq fantasia on Doran. I could Fucking Do It. I am Thinking.

And there was the reaper reveal. Lots of people called it. I’m excited to see Zenos wield one. Oh I’ve also come to terms with the fact that I genuinely love Zenos. Terrible funny little man but also very pretty. The trailer that was released today was the first I’ve seen and was exposed to the semi-realistic art style and it just made him even prettier. Well. It fixed his face in any case I still stand by the opinion that his eyes are freaky but I think that’s intentional??? Still much too big. As Krile put it they’re the eyes of a monster.

I was giggling so much while watching the trailer. I had to start tuning out the lyrics because??? They hinted at some shit that I did NOT want to know yet??? Echoes fading like what the fuck!!! What! The! Fuck! And what did G’raha mean by what he said!!!!!! He had BETTER not try and sacrifice himself for a THIRD time I’ll fucking sob!!!!!!!!!!!!!! God! November can not come soon enough I’m so excited. i haven’t been this excited for a game release in a long while.

Oh. There was also the poster. I had it pointed out to me that the way the characters were positioned was just goofy anyhow with Tataru front and center but man... Zenos tucked in there all casual like with the Scions and not even Fandaniel in there anywhere..... hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

I have read enough fanfic synopses to know that that is very much a thing fans want. I wonder if fan response had any impact on them bringing back Zenos in full force. I finished SB msq today and I’ve been thinking about Zenos a lot.  This game is really bad at developing its villains and making us care about them. Even Emet-Selch as much as I adore him... it always feel like they could do more. They really should have shown Garlemald’s oppression better or something, though... with the game’s rating... idk. I just feel like the story didn’t highlight it very well even if the maps themselves do. There’s just too much telling. Of course there’s every reason to hate Garlemald for their occupation of Ala Mhigo and the game does a well enough job of showing this? But we don’t see the effects that Zenos specifically has had on these places. We barely know any of his methods for, as he would say, priming his hunting grounds. There is some mention of him being a terror on the battle field, but how does he make the people desperate in the first place? We see with Yostuyu’s rule over Doma what he doesn’t want, but. What did he actually do? It makes his defeat feel empty, and not in the purposeful way. Like, past the fact that it appeared that he got exactly what he wanted in being defeated and killing himself.

At least he’s still better than the Heaven’s Ward. Anything’s better than them. I still hate HW and I only like SB more the second time around. I think my opinion’s flip-flopped since last time, and I like SB’s main story more than its post story. I still think Gosetsu surviving and Yotsuyu surviving is dumb. Amnesia is just so so cheap, and imo the game does a piss poor job at explaining or making meaningful the weird relationship between Gosetsu and “Tsuyu”. They explain at the veeeeeery end of that quest line that she reminds him of his daughter or something but before that his attachment just seems weird and inexplicable.

Oh. I do still like Asahi though I can’t wait to see him die again. He is another funny little man whom I like very much. Kinda weird for him to be the only gay coded sort-of-major npc but oh well. Wait. Well. technically Fandaniel is too but... they share a body and voice actor? And are also both villains. It’s still weird. I also adore Fandaniel he is the king of funny little men. His introduction had me laughing so hard like really? This is where the story is gonna go? Our villains just want everyone to die now??? What, he’s not under Zodiark’s influence like the others? Not even Emet-Selch could resist Zodiark... well now I’m actually thniking about things. I wonder if it’s just a big ploy, though idk why he would want to pretend about something like that, unless it’s to manipulate his fellow Ascians??? Also there has to be something for to his shitty little faux primal factories. The trailer shows him ascending one. h. I. I know how he /could/ use them... they’re... dotted all across the star and... if he could use them to make more he could, increase production and all he could... drain... the star’s aether making these beasts to kill everyone, recreating the final days like was shown in the trailer. Christ. Jesus christ I’m so excited.

I will not lie to you I’m also lowkey hoping they bring back Emet-Selch like they have every other character. i love that guy alright I just wish he wasn’t a thrall to Zodiark. The story’s so fucked man of course the first thing they do when they get back to Eorzea is figure out a way to undo tempering. I wonder how that would work with an elder primal? Another thing I’ve been wondering is what would happen if they did it to someone presumably not tempered. Like one of the Scions. i wonder if they’re tempered to Hydaelyn’s will. The WoL especially being her chosen and all and not really having a free will and all.

I am completely scatter brained rn. I just remembered that the trailer referred to the WoL using “them” and it made me so happy. Let people in the msq call the WoL them please I am begging.

hhghhhhhh brain mush now no more thinking only video games

[fmlfpl]

Lineup Lamentations - GW23

Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s for the week!

—

WALSH

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Diego Rico

IN: Jack Stephens

I feel naked and alone without my Spanish lover Rico in my team anymore but it simply had to be so. I'm floating a transfer again this week and just doing a move to give me another cheapo defender who I can rotate. As shouted on the pod at 4.3 Jack seems like a good piece to have at the back until WC with their fixtures and strong underlying defensive numbers. There were certainly other more flair moves I could do but with two Livp in I am valuing the flexibility afforded with two frees ahead of their double to make a final decision about who to get in as the third and who to remove as well.

GK:

Schmeichel (bur)

Woodman the eternal continues to never let me down the legend.

Schmike, on the other hand, suddenly finds himself positioned between a goal frame, a sieve, and the enemy. Still too early to tell if no Ndidi just means they are diabolical but Burnley have been among the worst attacks in the division recently and no Smashley kinda fucks up their balance a lot.

Could see them snap back into form and just dispatch these in an easy win to nil. Hoping for it, anyway.

DEF:

Pereira (bur)

Somehow I still have Periera. He's been by far by farrrrr my worst transfer of the season but I always seem to find a reason to hold on to him and start him. It seems extremely unlikely he is in past this weekend so maybe he'll give me a farewell gift.

Alexander-Arnold (MUN)

Trent goes again nothing to say about that. Only guy I've had since GW1...well other than Woodman of course that sweet boy.

Stephens (WOL)

Jack new friend is put straight into the fire with home Wolves. Not a good on paper fixture but I could kinda see a clean here? Maybe? Not an ideal start, but he's the best option I have and when weighing him up against the other 4.4 defenders and under it looked like his near term fixtures were the best in how he can rotate with what else I've got.

Lundstram (ars)

Lastly is Pointstram.

Another not too great feeling start but also not too bad without Aubz.

Hard to imagine where an Arsecast goal can come from other than a p3p3ga set piece banger or something like this. Don't really feel like Wilder will have any trouble marking Laca out of the game. Pointstram also eye test wise looked a lot more involved in their attack last game so maybe that is a sign of things to come.

MID:

Martial (liv)

Unfortunately I'm going to have to eat a Tony M start here at Anfield. Feels not good but I still like him as a medium term hold despite the mixed fixtures.

Still don't really have any confidence that I know what a "good" fixture is for United attack anyway so I'm just blindly following the mantra of he's playing OOP striker on a top six team so he's a hold.

De Bruyne (CRY)

Kevin up against my boys this weekend we'll see if he's at DM or not. Don't really care though, honestly.

Salah (MUN)

Third mid is Mo. Good lad.

FWD:

Maupay (AVL)

Is this the weekend of Neal? Please Neal be a good Neal one time my son.

Scenic fixture...time to capitalize...or take 1 shot and blank again as per.

I want Neal to give me a sign of life so badly because I would really still like to hold him for the near term through these fixtures. Big game for him and I'll be watching him closely.

Vardy (bur)

Vardz still in there. Whatever.

Agüero (CRY)

Kun off his monster haul good job by Kun love Kun so much.

CAP:

Vardy (bur)

Sticking with Vardz as shouted on the pod.

I've really not gone to the Vardy cap well too often this season but he just seems like a very strong option against a really bad team with two really bad CBs and a really bad GK. I'd honestly be surprised if he doesn't double return.

—

ALON

TRANSFERS:

OUT: N/A

IN: N/A

When in doubt float your fuckin’ transfer...

I had a really brutal week and especially today, Friday, long and tough day.

No idea what I want to do but having two frees and a boatload of cash for next week seems really fun / good.

I’ll probably get rocked in the Cup this week by fuckin Wiscker by just rolling the same crew out again after last week’s bloodbath but maybe with my two frees and a pocket full of change I can roar back in the final two group matches and go through... It works out in my head at least...

GK:

Ryan (AVL)

Great fixture and a great fixture run so come on Mat gimme some points.

DEF:

van Dijk (MUN)

Everything says that this should be an easy Liverpool win and an easy Liverpool clean but who knows it’s still a derby...

United are absolutely terrible on set plays they have conceded the third most in the league and Liverpool have scored the tied for second most int he league so make of that what you will... VVDue? VVDong?

Söyüncü (bur)

Hoping for a Soy redemption song this week after that very sloppy mess of a match lass week... Burnley are very much there for the taking so go on SoyBoy.

Lundstram (ars)

I sleeper think that this is a great fixture... ok maybe great is an exaggeration because it’s not a ~banker~ but with how Arsenal’s been playing lately - very few shots and not much xG or sustained attack - plus no Aubz it just seems very cleanable and winnable for Sheff U from where I’m sitting. 

MID:

Salah (MUN)

Funny cheeky little interview he gave. Mo’s a good guy.

De Bruyne (CRY)

Easy keep.

Maddison (bur)

Time for a bounce-back from Leicester no fucking around. Maddo was such a steady tick merchant for me back in the good ole days I just want to taste that success again.

Sarr (tot)

Not a good fixture but definitely not a bad one either.

Sarr and Watty have been looking fabulous and will cause Spurs tons of problems for me.

Cantwell (BOU)

Lastly going for Big Todd Energy over Jiménez this week (feel free to thank me Jim owners) becaaaauuuuuseeeee just I don’t know gut feeling and shit.

Jim has been an extremely upsetting transfer in for me and I shouted Wolves being tired and bad and then they go out and lose to Man. Utd. in the cup with Jim playing the full 90′.

Also Jim has away Southampton which is now a really rough fixture so whatever I’m going for it here... Todd should fuck Eddie’s Bourney.

FWD:

Only the two FWDs for me this week since I’m benching Jimboy.

Vardy (bur)

Another in my triple leicester to bounce back -- what a chance for it !

Calvert-Lewin (whu)

I still believe in DCL and I had to defend the pick a little bit here and there this week and honestly it just made me feel better about it. And the fixture is fantastic. DCL gonna bang.

CAP:

Vardy (bur)

Just don’t really have another option who I think is nearly as good a cap. pick as Vardz is this week and it’s as simple as that...

If it’s close then maybe you go differential cap but if it’s not close I think you just cap the guy who everyone else is capping. Here we are.

Soz for a not exciting Lambs from me this week lol.

—

RANDOM SLACKER OF THE WEEK: dave (group 19)

The words of Random Slacker are not officially endorsed by this website nor any employees of FML FPL LLC.

TRANSFERS:

DISCLAIMER: I AM VERY BAD AT FPL AND YOU SHOULD NOT LISTEN TO ANYTHING I SAY!

Fun fact: I was the person who suggested random slacker lambs earlier in the season to the pod bois. That was a time when my team was ticking along and I was optimistic about rising up the ranks over the course of the season.

Now I am in the depths of darkness and have zero expectations for my team other than red arrows and I am bad and shit at FPL and you shouldn’t even bother reading this because I’m shit. Unless you want to feel better about yourself, that is (I’m 1.5m so if you’re lower than that then I’m truly sorry – you’ll probably overtake me soon).

At least I have the FML FPL Cup to focus all my energy on. Speaking of which...

To my opponent this week, Rob, and the rest of Group 19, Jon and Max: Fuck you. I’m going to destroy you. I don’t care about my OR anymore. This is all that matters to me. (Jk prob will get 0 points and crash out in the group stage – good luck lads).

OUT: Serge Aurier

IN: Lewis Dunk

I have 2FTs but I’m just going for a fairly passive and hopefully more sensible move. When Mou became Spuds’ manager I had hopes that the defence would significantly improve (I even doubled up on their defence – oops), but alas they are still shipping goals for fun and now the child Tanganga is in the mix potentially threatening Aurier’s minutes after a decent right back performance mid-week. So just fucking him off to a similarly priced guy with good fixtures for the foreseeable future, on a team that actually appears to be capable of keeping the occasional clean sheet.

Going to roll the other FT to give me a little more flexibility next GW to increase my share of Liverpool players to at least 2. Probably will take a hit to get up to 3.

GK:

Guaita (mci)

Probably the worst fixture of the season for a defender or GK; City have several potent, in-form attacking options and could easily put up 4 or 5 (albeit Palace have been fairly solid for large portions of the season).

Just hoping Victor Vincente can pick up some some save points, a Kun pen save or two would be very welcome as a non-owner…

DEF:

Dunk (AVL)

Brighton looking very good this season generally under Graham Potter and cleaning the odd game here and there. Decent chance for one against an out of sorts Villa. Go on new friend Lewis.

Söyüncü (bur)

Soyboy has been a staple of my team for quite some time. Leicester always a shout for a clean. However, Burnley are one of those teams where I can never predict how they’re going to perform week to week, so I’m not banking on a clean by any means.

Sidibe (whu)

Difficult to predict how this one will go as West Ham are still a bit of an unknown quantity to me under new / old manager Moyseh.

Sidibe is the guy I’ll likely transition into a Liverpool defender next week but maybe he gets another go at RW this week with Richarlison confirmed out. Would be nice to get some OOP attacking farewell returns from him.

MID:

De Bruyne and Sterling (CRY)

Should just be a fuckfest for City (soz Walsh). Raz getting fairly frustrating to own but I’m keeping the faith for now.

Mané (MUN)

Another one of those games that you never know what to expect. Even while United were the dominant English team and Liverpool were complete piss, they always seemed to be able to show up for this match and up results. Could the shoe be on the other foot now? After all Utd are the only team Liverpool haven’t beaten so far this season in the PL. But I digress. Mane is obviously an auto-start in any fixture and Liverpool are the clear favourites in this one for good reason.

Maddison (bur)

He’s an absolute cunt imo. Very punchable face too. But he has undoubtedly been a very good FPL pick this season thus far. So go on James.

FWD:

Calvert-Lewin (whu)

2 blanks on the trot but I’m not too worried. Still think he’s great, Carlo loves him and the price is right.

Abraham (new)

Tammy back in the points lately so feels fine to hold for now. Fixtures turning to shit imminently so possibly one to monitor and maybe move on soon.

Vardy (bur)

Earlier in the season I was looking at Vardy’s stats vs. goals/assists output; I convinced myself it was unsustainable and that he would “revert to the mean” (that’s something us wankers who have no fucking clue about how underlying stats translate into FPL points say to kid ourselves that we know what we’re talking about).

It’s now clear that he is just a guy who you hold indefinitely because his points continue to roll in week after week after week.

CAP:

Sterling (CRY)

Call me an idiot.

Call me a glutton for punishment.

I capped Raz last week thinking he might just be a stroke of genius differential pick. Needless to say, that went poorly (0 mins with DCL VC, RIP). But fuck it. He goes again. I love Raz. Raz is great. He’s due – isn’t he?

Ultimately I’m just a guy who wants to get some fucking points on the board. Wish me luck.