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linkspooky · 3 years

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The Protagonist of Another Story

Aren’t protagonists just the worst? Just assuming everything revolves around them you know, like they’re the main character of some story? Gege has stated several times they want to write a story where no one single person is right, where they can’t always be correct no matter how good those intentions are. I believe he’s continuing that theme by now introducing another protagonist just like Yuji, who assumes he’s the hero of this story and making them fight each other. More on the relationship between Yuta and Yuji under the cut.

1. Heeeeeeeeere’s Yuuuuuuta.

A stated by Gege themselves in their commentary for this week, Yuta’s central character trait is his indecisiveness. In other words, Yuta is lacking so much in confidence that he doesn’t make decisions for himself and instead relies entirely on what other people say.

Yuta’s central flaw he’s confronted with in volume zero is his codependency towards others. He relies on other people to validate him, to tell him that he’s a good person and that he’s worthy of living.

There’s nothing wrong with this desire, it even parallels Yuji’s in a way. Yuta wants to be surrounded by others who tell him it’s okay for him to keep on living. Yuji wants his life to mean something, he wants to help others so he’ll have plenty of people surrounding him when he dies. It’s basically the same desire, a desire to help people and be needed by people so they won’t have to be alone.

However, there’s two layers where this behavior can also be a problem, especially when applied to Yuta. Maki is the first one who calls it out. Is Yuta actually a good person, or is he merely acting like one to treat him nice.

Yuta is entirely passive, and rather than active control of circumstances he tends to play the victim and pretend to be helpless. He believes himself to be a good person who hasn’t done anything to deserve what’s happening to him, and that can make him blind to his own faults. Like a person who has been bullied in the past, who acquire a victim complex, and now sees any kind of conflict as someone attempting to bully them. Yuta doesn’t seem to ever realize when he might be in the wrong, because his view is that in every situation he’s just a good innocent person being bullied.

Passive isn’t good, it’s just passive. Yuta has a hard time seeing when he’s at fault in situations. Such as when he believed for several years that it was Rika who cursed him, when in fact it was the other way around, he was the one who cursed Rika.

Yuta is also, someone completely codependent. He’s so afraid of losing people that he can’t function without them. This also informs the reason why he cursed Rika, because he himself couldn’t let go of her. Yuta learns in volume zero that he has to let go of old friends, because he can always form new friends, he can always find new reasons to keep on living, however he clearly hasn’t completely conquered this flaw.

His lack of faith in himself, his codependency, is what ultimately leads to his indecisiveness. He can’t have faith in his own decisions so he puts faith in the people around him instead to reassure him and back him up. However, this makes him insanely protective of the people around him, because if he ever loses him then Yuta’s fragile world comes crashing down. He is entirely dependent on the people around him in order to keep living.

Yuta doesn’t actually care about the world at large. He doesn’t even care enough to argue with Geto about his points. He’s not even sure that Geto is the bad guy, he literally just wants to kill Geto for hurting his friends.

For Yuta, all that matters is protecting his small little bubble of friends. He’s learned that he can make new friends,but not that the world exists at large outside of his greater bubble in sorcer society.

2. Me, The Protagonist of Reality.

So, Mahito kills one of Yuji’s friends right in front of him. Yuji then swears bloody violent revenge, doing whatever he can to take down and kill Mahito, unable to move on until he’s punished Mahito for the crime of killing Junpei.

In this situation, Yuji is the good guy, and Mahito is the bad guy, right? Therefore Yuji is justified in only thinking of Mahito as someone he must kill. However, Yuji has a tendency to assume that he is the good guy in every situation. Yuji believed in a very simple story, that he was good and the people he was fighting against were evil.

Even when the story grew more complicated, Yuji just decided he didn’t have to think too hard about his role in things. He didn’t have to think about the bigger picture, he just had to kill his enemy.

Mahito is very much a straight forward bad guy, but the problem with this line of thinking is that not every situation is going to be as black and white as it was with Mahito. The problem with the decision to just not worry about it and not think things through, is that when you get into one of those gray situations you won’t be able to realize that you’re in one. Killing for revenge is wrong, because it’s not usually a straightforward story. Now, Yuji is on the opposite side of the story.

Yuji’s direct actions cut Inumaki’s arm off. It is a very grey situation. Yuji made a choice to walk around with Sukuna in his body, knowing Sukuna might be able to take over at any time. At the same time it wasn’t Yuji’s intention to hurt Inumaki in this way.

The same way that Yuji doesn’t want to think about the moral grays in his situation. It’s very likely, that Yuta doesn’t want to think about how his situation must be gray as well. Yuta right now sees himself, as Yuji saw himself to begin with, someone killing for revenge in order to punish them for hurting a friend.

I really think it’s much more interesting if Yuta actually does want to hunt Yuji down, rather than secretly pretending to be on his side all along, because it’s a direct consequence for both of them declaring they don’t need to think about these things. If you don’t want to decide for yourself, then others will make your decisions for you and you get used.

Straightforward revenge has always been a mistake for the characters before. When Choso wanted to kill Yuji as punishment for killing his brothers, the consequence to that was him nearly killing someone who could have potentially been another of his brothers. This might be the parallel to the Choso situation, Yuta wholeheartedly believes that Yuji is an enemy he must kill and it’s a consequence for both of them.

They both think they’re on the good side. They both believe they’re on the right. Yuji wants to help people, and Yuta wants to protect his friends but they don’t think of the greater interpretation of their actions, because they both assume they’re good.

However if they can’t both be the good guy then what else can they do? PROTAGONIST BATTLE! COME ON, PUT YOUR DUKES UP! WHOEVER SURVIVES GETS TO BE THE REAL MAIN CHARACTER OF REALITY.

#okkotsu yuta #sukuna #ryomen sukuna #itadori yuji #yuji itadoru #yuuji itadori #itadori yuuji #jjk 137 spoilers #jjk 137 #jujutsu kaisen 137 #jjk meta #jujutsu kaisen meta #jujutsu kaisen

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peculiarpatches · 3 years

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𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘥𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 - 𝘫𝘢𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘳 𝘹 𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘹 𝑓𝑒𝑚 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

I’m republishing this since it hardly got notes the last time and I’m ~ crazy ~ and need validation that my stories are good. Out of all the Twilight ones I’ve been working on, this still is one of my favorite’s because it’s the first one I’ve ever written. It’s the first one that got me inspired to write for the other characters, too. So, as much as I love this one, I hope you love it, too.

A/N: This story includes smut. If this makes you uncomfortable, don’t read. Simple as that.

There’s not much other than oral and dirty talk, however. Either way, I hope you enjoy.

Centuries — that's how long Alice and Jasper have been together for. The two were simply inseparable; Stuck to each other like glue. It'd take millions of weapons and hundreds of people to try and tear them apart, no matter what happened or what went on in their crazy, immortal lives, it didn't matter, no, because they lived for each other.

Their lives were better, happier, because of that other person.

And nothing - nor, nobody - was ever going to change the fact. Jasper wasn't one to express his feelings (though, he could control other people's emotions, ironically enough) but that small grin you see every now and then across his face was all thanks to Alice.

The smile belonged to her because she was the one that brought peace, happiness, and love back into his life, even when he swore he'd never find it. Hell, he swore he'd never find any of those listed off again, if he was being honest here. But... she somehow did it. She brought all of those into his life along with hope and faith. (Alice told him that very saying too upon their first encounter together - the moment she took his hand with her own, she felt hope. And she hadn't felt that in centuries. He never met the gal before, not having a single clue as to who she was. Here he was, sitting in a diner in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, trying to figure out where he planned to go afterwards, where his next stop would be within the states when an attractive woman walked up to him, letting a happy, relieved sigh fall from her lips. "It's about time." She announced, the grin growing across her face as she slid in the opposite side of the booth, guiding her hand out to take Jasper's hand within her much smaller one. She gave his fingers a squeeze and explained the situation, the happiness on her face only growing wider and brighter as she continued to talk. Jasper was confused, to say the very least; But her emotions overwhelmed him so much, in his gut and in his heart, he felt as if he could trust her, right then and there.

Even if they have only have met that day, she spoke about the future and to others, they would have laughed and called her crazy. But the way she spoke, so open, so generous, loving and kind, all these feelings directed towards him, he felt it, too - love. Love at first sight, if you will. And Jasper had ever only felt that once and it lasted briefly. But this time, as he continued to listen to her speak, a tiny grin found it's way across his lips. In-love, he was. As absurd, and as crazy as it may sound, he could feel it. They belonged together. And the gal - Alice - was exactly like him, too. Of course, she would be, having a power like that and all. Alice saw them in the future, had seen Jasper plenty of times in her mind but didn't know exactly when she'd be meeting him. She admitted today, however, she knew. Jasper even said he felt something today, too. He just didn't exactly know what it was. But he felt it. The emotions were difficult to ignore. He laughed and leaned close, whispering to Alice he assumed these feelings he felt within him were nothing but hunger. "You won't have to worry about that, either." She told him. "I know a way of keeping not only you safe but me, as well. To keep your hunger satisfied without harming or needing to hunt humans." Alice continued. Jasper cocks his head to the side, confusion written across his facial features, as he wondered what she meant by this. Instead of asking, as he figured he'd understand more of the situation later, he chuckled and gave her hand a squeeze which she happily returned. "Well, now you have me and I promise you, I won't ever let a pretty gal like you go, either." He said, making the smile on her face somewhat bigger than what it was before. "I wouldn't let you lose me, anyways." She responded. "Besides, I see the future here, don't I? None of that will be happening. You're stuck with me, Jasper." Jasper laughed gently, "I'm more than perfectly fine w'tha, darlin'." He commented, his accent drawing out as he spoke.) (Love - Jasper never wanted to look for it. Never sat down and thought about having a significant other. He assumed he'd be alone, forever. And as dull and as depressing as that may be, he was content with it. Who could love someone as broken and as damaged as he? His past was fucked up. Surely, his future was going to remain the exact same, too. So, to Jasper, he figured it'd be best to be alone. He didn't want to put his baggage onto another person for them to carry and haul out. He'd do it himself, without a doubt or without a care in the world; he'd drag his own baggage behind him.

Not once, did he ever think or want to allow people to see what secrets he held within the case, within himself. But, life is amusing and love has a funny way of revealing itself. Though, so secretive and mysterious, hardly ever speaking a word to strangers, let alone any other vampires, a girl who saw the future and saw him in it, already knew all the secrets he kept hidden away from the world.

Alice knew what Jasper's past was like. And she still accepted him. Still loved him. "If you're broken, you don't have to stay broken." She said, that same very night. "I won't let you be, neither. We'll fix each other's broken, shattered pieces, we'll place them right back together. Fit the two of them together like puzzle pieces. 'Cause, I believe that's what you are to me. You are the piece of the puzzle I've been searching to find. Been waiting centuries to come across. And now that I finally found you, I have hope and faith once more - that everything is okay. And I hope that you believe me, too, when I say these words but; I love you, Jasper.. and again," she joked, a goofy grin playing out on her cheeks, "I see the future and therefore, I know you believe me, too. I also know you love me as well."

And Jasper said nothing. He only chuckled deeply and nodded. He met her then and there, not once meeting her elsewhere before but he loved her, too. And he didn't need to say those three words out loud because she already knew how much she meant to him.) (His future was brighter, better, because of Alice. And he couldn't thank her enough for showing him that life was better when you found that special someone by your side. He found both - happiness and hope - within not only her but the Cullen family. Alice along with a man named Carlisle, even helped Jasper with his hunger and taught him how to remain strong and fight his urges.

As Alice mentioned beforehand, back at the diner, she was going to help him. And she did. Not once did she ever break her promise to him.) However, that's when everything falls back onto him. When everything starts breaking. Decades. Centuries. Years and years together. It was bound to happen, eventually, right? Boredom. Falling out of love. Finding someone better to fulfill her needs and satisfy her. You get the idea. Jasper was afraid that Alice would announce she no longer loved Jasper, for whatever reason that may be, he didn't know. But he was going to find out today. *~* Even if he hadn't been watching Alice, it wouldn't and didn't matter because he could feel her emotions with as much as a second glance and a look in her direction, an overwhelming sensation would flood over him instantly. So, even if he wasn't watching her, he could feel everything she was attempting (but failing) to hide. The typical, loving and affectionate gaze she would always give him was no longer there. If it was, it lasted a millisecond before she'd drop her head, strands of hair falling in front of her face and a frown would replace the look. Of course, this was not only concerning but worrisome for Jasper. Had he done something wrong?

If so, what did he do? What could he do to fix it? He didn't want to sound like Edward before he met Bella — dull and depressing and nothing but those but it's exactly how he felt and he hated every aspect of that.

He and the rest of the Cullen’s made fun of Edward for being so gloom and grey but now, alas, here Jasper was, feeling that exact way.

Oh, how the tables have turned. Even Edward, the petty little shit he always was and will forever be, even made a joke about it. Luckily, he had Bella beside him so Jasper couldn't abuse Edward's emotions and make him feel what he was feeling because she could put up a shield and block it out, protecting Edward. "Just go and talk to her." Edward said once he saw the look on Jasper's face.

"Trust me, I'm the mind reader out of all of us here. I know what I'm talking about and I know what's going on. And no, before you ask, I will not give you the answer as to what exactly is going on. You just have to go and find out yourself." He said, tilting his head back as laughter left his lips.

Bella scoffed and gave a playful hit to her husband's shoulders before giving Jasper an apologetic smile. The two then had left, going to go and find their daughter, leaving Jasper all alone with his thoughts and worse of all - his feelings. Taking a deep, shaky breath, Jasper decides it's now or never. He creeps up the stairs, and the closer he gets to his and Alice's room, he hears her angelic laughter and can practically see her, smiling from ear to ear as the giggles erupted her and hung into the air. Jasper loved her laughter, loved seeing her smile even more.

He just hated the fact he wasn't the one who was the meaning behind it. If not him, who was? "Darlin'?" He walks in front of the bedroom door, giving a gentle tap across the frame of it. He rocks back and forth on the heels of his feet as he anxiously waited for an answer. The loud laughter he once heard died down quickly which makes him feel even more anxious.

Biting his lip, he shuffles and rocks his body back and forth as he still continued to wait until the door was to be answered, not wanting to walk in and upset Alice more by invading her privacy.

The laughter is replaced now, however, with faint giggles and muffled, hushed whispers. He hears some shuffling and the bed squeaking before finally, Alice is pulling the door open. She stands there, giving Jasper a sheepish, yet shy smile. "Hi, baby." She cooed, leaning up on her tippy toes as she plants a gentle yet adoring kiss on Jasper's cheek. This took him by surprise because not only did she call him 'baby' but she kissed him and it felt like she hadn't kissed him in years. So, this being said, it brought a smile to his lips.

Her upcoming sentence brought the sides of his lips upward even more, the grin growing and his nerves and anxiety, slowly, dying out. "You know, I've been expecting you. Wondered when you'd come up here." She said as her feet came back to touch the floor. Alice reaches over, taking Jasper's hand within her own and walks into their bedroom, closing the door behind them as Jasper walks in. There, on the bed, was another female. She glanced up and smiled shyly, the same way Alice did when Jasper knocked at the door and she saw him behind the frame of it.

"Jasper, you remember (Y/N), right?" She asked, dropping his hand as she makes way to the queen sized mattress and makes herself comfortable on the bed, next to (Y/N). (Y/N) (L/N). They've only met a few times and even then, it seemed so long ago, Jasper had to rethink of when and where they met at. The graduation party they held and then Bella and Edward's wedding.

Of course, he remembers now. Jasper and Alice both would even bump into her while taking a stroll into town every once in awhile and in high school, they shared a few classes together. ("You two enjoy walks in the rain too?" She had gushed, laughing as she held the umbrella above her head, trying her best to ignore and dodge the rain that fell from the sky above them. Alice and Jasper looked at each other and Alice giggled and nodded.

"Yes. It's our favorite thing to do. One of our favorite things to do... Would you like to walk with us?" She asked. (Y/N)'s face bled a crimson red and she shook her head before mumbling about how sadly, she couldn't, though she wishes she could. She had to go back to work. She was only walking to grab a quick bite to eat, one that wasn't at the place she worked at.

"Next time then." Alice said, the smile never dropping from her face. "Of course." (Y/N) replied before waving goodbye to the both of them and walking in the opposite direction.) Now, coming face to face with her, after a few years of not seeing her, he wouldn't deny the obvious fact; (Y/N) was as beautiful as Alice. Alice, though, she wasn't the jealous type, he'd never admit that or say it. Jasper preferred to keep that thought to himself. (Y/N) was human. Jasper remembered. His smile was quick to fall down into a frown as he looked at Alice, wondering why she brought a human into their home.

She, so easily, could expose our secret too! He thought, the frown only increasing and getting deeper as he furrowed his eyebrows together, trying to come up with an answer as to why she could be here. And right as that thought popped into his head, Alice gave a nervous giggle and shook her head from side to side. "I'm no mind reader like Edward is but I know what you're thinking, Jas. Come, sit down with us. We've got to talk." And as confused as he may be, - especially with what she just said in front of a human, no less - Jasper obliges and sits in the middle of them both, the mattress sinking beneath his weight. "What's going on?" He asks, crossing his arms over his chest as a mixture of emotions paint itself across his face. Alice, taking a long and deep breath, begins to speak. "Jasper," She began, "It's obvious I haven't been myself lately. I know you've been noticing it. Everybody has, I'm sure." "Yes," He replied, chuckling lowly as he chewed on his bottom lip, still not piecing two and two together. "I'm very aware of that, doll." "Well, I don't know how else to tell you this but that reason is because of (Y/N)." Once the sentence leaves her, Alice reached over and grabbed (Y/N)'s hand, squeezing it tightly. Jasper blinked. Once, twice. He didn't understand. Alice and (Y/N) both looked at each other once they took notice of his expression and they erupted into a storm of giggles.

Almost as soon as it started, however, they stopped and their expressions were quick to change. They went from laughing to a deadpanned glare, both girls wearing masks of seriousness. "I've been having visions. Of this exquisite, gorgeous and oh, so wonderful girl. And, well, Jasper, some of us don't just have one love but we have two. Maybe even more... but in this situation, in this scenario, it's you two." She explained. Jasper went from watching his girlfriend to giving a quick glance to (Y/N)'s direction.

She sat there, silent, but her cheeks spoke another story. One of which, Jasper easily could read and make out. Her cheeks, like the day they bumped into each other in town, were as red as a rose and she was biting her lower lip as she fumbled with her hands, twisting and twiddling with them as Alice continued to speak. "I know you feel the same way about her as well. Don't even try to lie or deny it. I've been seeing the visuals everywhere, they play out like scenes in a movie. The feelings for her are the same you have for me. You gained them at the party we had a few months back, the same way I did." And Jasper sat there, feeling dumbfounded but more importantly, he felt foolish too. Of course, he couldn't get away with his thoughts or actions. Alice could see everything. Even before it happened. "That's why I've been distancing myself." Alice continued. "I didn't mean to, my love. It has nothing to do with you, either. You're as perfect as you were when I first met you. So, do not fret and think you have done something wrong because you haven't. However, I had to have you come to me before I could tell you what was going on and why I was acting the way I was. Or... well, come to us, I should say... So, we could show you how this all would work. Us, three, together." Alice's tongue darted out of her mouth as she wets her lips, a look of seduction rising behind her eyes. "Besides, isn't it every man's fantasy to have two, beautiful women beside him?" "Or, perhaps underneath him?" And that was the first thing (Y/N) had said during this entire conversation. Jasper would be a liar if he said both women's words didn't go straight to his cock, causing it to twitch against the zipper of the pants he wore. "Come on, Jasper. Admit it. Don't lie to yourself. You've been wanting her for some time, yes? Wanting - no, craving for this for awhile. Now, is your chance. Today and every day, you can have us." Alice purred. She leaned upward, standing up on the tips of her toes as she had done earlier and her tongue comes within contact of Jasper's neck, setting soft but wet and seductive kisses over the smooth, cold surface. Jasper grunts in reply, eyes fluttering shut as he gives a weak, timid nod. "Hm," He mumbles. "Today and everyday?" He asked, a smirk finding its way on his lips. "I can live with that, darlin'." "Heyyy." (Y/N) mewled, her bottom lip jutting out into a pout. "If she's darlin', what's going to be my pet name?" She asks, the pout only growing bigger yet both Alice and Jasper knew she wasn't truly upset by it. "Considering you just mewled like a kitten, that's what you will be. Now, kitten, why don't you and darlin' both come here and show me a good time, hm? After all, I have been wanting this for some time." Alice tssked, slapping Jasper's chest playfully as he - finally - admitted those words. (Y/N) said nothing but watched the two with love and fond written across her face. How did she get so lucky to be involved in this relationship? She'd never know. Maybe, some things are better unanswered, (Y/N) thought. She's quick to snap out of her thoughts and standing to her feet, her eyes never leave her now boyfriend and girlfriend's gazes. (Y/N) strips down to nothing but a matching pair of panties and bra. She watches how Alice and Jasper lazily yet hungrily kiss one another. Jasper's hands were on Alice's waist while Alice's hands were tangled in between his golden curls, tugging it every now and then as the session grew hotter and as the two grew more sexually frustrated with each other.

(Y/N) didn't know what to do, truth be told, she didn't think this would have ever happened. Luckily for her, Alice pulled away and shot her a lovingly glance before their own make out session could get any hotter (and before (Y/N) could get wetter, untouched).

"C'mere, beautiful. You're part of this, too, silly." She giggled as she taps Jasper's shoulder, telling him to get off of her with a movement of her finger. Jasper chuckled lowly as he rolls over, undoing the belt of his jeans and zips them down as he shimmies out of both that and his shirt. "Who would you like to pleasure and please first, lovely?" Alice asked once (Y/N) sat down on the bed. Her face was still the same exact shade of red, it never seemed to vanish or go elsewhere. It seemed to be permanently there, only growing deeper and darker by the second. Both Alice and Jasper loved it. Loved having this kind of power and effect on her. It was a turn on to both vampires. "Personally, I think you should pleasure Jasper first." Alice turns to face Jasper who lay beside her wearing his birthday suit, stroking his cock, eyes fluttered shut as complete bliss and satisfaction takes over. "For me, however, I am enjoying myself. I would very much rather see you two, touching." He said, opening his eyes as he glanced over at Alice and (Y/N). "I'm happy with that." Alice giggled as she's quick to lay upon the mountain of pillows behind her, stripping her shirt over her head and allowing it to fall down the floor. Oh, she's so filthy.... such an eager slut. She truly has been wanting this for some time. God only knows how long... He says this - well, thinks it, anyhow - because the woman didn't wear a bra underneath her shirt and the moment she slides out of her skirt, Jasper notices she wasn't wearing panties either. "Touch me, please, (Y/N)." Alice moaned. She lay back against the cushions as she spread her legs out in a starfish position, her hand resting at Jasper's thigh, fingers sneaking up and curling at his genitals, softly brushing her fingertips across his groin. Her pussy was slick with juices, (Y/N) and Jasper noticed. She was already so drenched, as was (Y/N). Jasper's cock twitched, knowing both women were as hot and as bothered as he. "Go on, kitten. Don't be scared. I give you permission. We both do. From this moment on, you can touch us and hold us and whatever you please-" "Cause you're ours, as we are yours." Alice finished, shooting Jasper a smile before returning said smile to (Y/N). (Y/N) chewed on her bottom lip, fluttering her lashes and lids shut, she bends forward and presses her mouth on Alice's core, earning a quiet, low whine proceeding to fall from Alice's lips above. "Oh, (Y/N).... please." Alice whimpers, bucking her hips against (Y/N)'s touch. (Y/N) craved nothing more than to please both Alice and Jasper. As of this moment, however, her main focus was pleasuring Alice. All the girl wanted to do was get Alice to cum, no matter which way it was. (Y/N) could use her fingers, her tongue or Hell, even both, she (nor Alice) didn't care as long as the short haired gal came with a cry of her name and soaked her fingers as she reached her orgasm. That is all (Y/N) wanted. She wanted to be good - be a good girl, for both significant others. Realizing both vampires were hers to love, to hold and to cherish, really just everything in between, it sent a chill throughout her entire body and caused her cunt to tingle at the realization. The air in the room was bitter and both Alice and Jasper were cold, too. So, really, that could play a huge part together as well. But (Y/N) knew her cunt was throbbing because of knowing they were hers, as she was theirs. Not because of their icy touches or the harsh, bitter air but because of them. They, all three of them, were together and happy. And just like when Alice found Jasper and him, finding her, (Y/N) really didn't know what happiness was until she met these two. "(Y/N), babygirl, please..." Alice's frustrated voice brings the girl back into reality, allowing her to leave her thoughts. She giggled, sending little waves of vibrations to shake against Alice's clit. She pulled back, much to Alice's disappointment. "Sorry, I got lost in my head. 'M just happy is all. Can't believe this is happening." She admitted. But before Alice or Jasper could answer, (Y/N) is bending back forward, letting her head fall down and her lips capturing Alice's clit once more. She gave Alice a few kitten licks, gentle, soft and sweet ones before slipping her tongue in between Alice's folds, licking away as if this was her last thing she was to do on Earth. And really - if they were to die in their sleep or some random meteor hit, (Y/N) would much prefer dying while she's buried between Alice's legs and her mouth would be full of Alice's pussy, her mouth full of her juices as Alice rode her high out on her face. It sounds like a perfect way to go, if she were being honest. Well, that was one option. The other idea and preference was with Alice riding her face, shifting her weight back and forth, grinding her pussy against (Y/N)'s tongue and lips while (Y/N) laid back against the bed, her legs spread in a "V" shape as Jasper slid his cock back and forth, deep inside her pussy, hitting her spot over and over again. All three of them, moaning in perfect harmony. Alice would cum over and over again, nearly drowning (Y/N)'s face (which, (Y/N) wouldn't be upset at) with her juices as Jasper shot his load deep within her walls, filling her up with his cum. That was also a fantastic way to die. Alice, above, giggled and squirmed as (Y/N) ate her out. "Don't worry." She murmured, hand coming down to intertwine with (Y/N)'s hair as she pulled her girlfriend closer to her womanhood. "You'll have a piece of Jasper, right here, right now. Isn't that right, baby? You want to be a dear and go up behind (Y/N) as she's eating me out and fuck her tight, little, pink pussy? I can tell she needs it. Can feel her, leaving a puddle by my feet. Think - ah, fuck... (Y/N) - think she needs it. I wanna see it, too. Want to see you, fucking her as her face is full of my cunt." Jasper groaned as he fisted his cock, listening to his girlfriend speak while watching his other girl, eating his other lover out. He could have came right then and there. He was quick to get up and walk up behind (Y/N). (Y/N) was, in fact, soaked. Which was a given. It was obvious, even someone without vision could see that just by the high pitched, muffled noises she was making in the back of her throat. You could tell the poor thing needed a cock stuffed deep inside her hole, stretching her out and all. "Jasper, please, just... fuck me already!" She cried. "More than happy to." He replied. Being the fact she was so wet and aroused, the head of his cock pushed inside her, slipping in easily and comfortably. Even though, Jasper isn't (Y/N)'s first, the girl still needed to adjust to his size and the stretch that was his large and thick cock. Out of all the men she has been with (which wasn't a lot, neither. Only four or five.) Jasper was the widest and fullest. Jasper pauses, letting her adjust for a moment or two and it’s only when he hears a faint, "Go ahead, move... You can move," does Jasper push deeper, his cock sliding deeper within her walls, her juices already sticking to his cock as he slowly rocks his hips back and forth against the human. go ahead from you that he pushes deeper. You do open remarkably well for him, and although he takes his time, he’s awed by the fact that it isn’t unbearably long for either of you. You wonder if maybe it’s the fact that it’s him and you’ve done this before that makes it less stressful for you and lets you relax enough and so relatively quickly, too. While Jasper is behind, (Y/N) is stuffing her face full of Alice's pussy, and not a second later, the human girl buries her index and forefinger into her awaiting cunt. "Oh, fuck! Yes! Oh, yes. Oh." Alice chanted, her voice growing higher and higher as her hands curled at the comforter, nails digging into the fabric. "Oh, (Y/N), fuck me just like that! Fuck me, (Y/N)! Fuck me with your fingers, oh, yes. Oh, yesyesyesyes!!!" Alice squeals in delight, eyes closed as she gets closer to her orgasm. "Look at that," Jasper purred, his accent thick as he spoke. He only got like that when he, himself, was close to an orgasm.

"My girls. My two beautiful girls. You both going to cum? You want to cum for each other and for me, don't you? Go on then. Be my good girls and cum. I'll cum with you." And just like that, both (Y/N) and Alice moaned loudly, Alice shouting her girlfriend and boyfriend's name in a pattern-like style as Jasper growled, fucking into (Y/N) so roughly the frame of the bed smacked against the wall so harshly, all three knew it was going to leave a dent in the walls. But they couldn't care less. They were enjoying themselves way too much. (Y/N)'s moans were muffled, as she was being drowned by Alice's cum and like the good girl she, oh so badly, wanted to be - she happily swallowed every last drop that Alice squirted at her. (Y/N wanted to make her cum, sure, but didn't even think about the possibility she could make her squirt.)

"Oh, fuck~ I'm cumming. Oh, fuck....!" And right as she was done, licking up every drop of Alice's pussy juices, her own pussy is being filled up by Jasper. This causes (Y/N) to moan again, an ear piercing scream more than a moan, actually. Which, truth be told, she was embarrassed by it - knowing other people were in the house but she tried not to think about it. All she could actually focus on was Alice and Jasper. That, and her coming down from her peak. Slowly, with a hiss leaving his lips, Jasper pulls out and plops down onto the bed, next to both of his lovely women. "That was fun." Alice said, leaning over and pressing a kiss to Jasper's cheek. "So, you aren't mad at me?" She asked, pulling back as she reached over to pull (Y/N) into her arms.

"Not at all, darlin'. I love you. You know that. Nothing in the world could ever replace or erase my feelings towards you, Alice. It was... unexpected, sure, but I'm happy." Jasper looked over at Alice and (Y/N). "I'm happy with the both of you. And, (Y/N)? I love you, too. I promise, I didn't forget about ya." He said with a low laugh. He kisses Alice first before bending forward and kissing (Y/N) sweetly. "I only have one question left... how does she know about us? About what we are?" "It's kind of obvious." (Y/N) replied, looking up from playing with Alice's fingers and shot Jasper a sheepish smile. "Like Bella did beforehand, I put everything together and it made a lot of sense the more and more I looked at it. That and Emmett told me. Well, I take that back... he didn't exactly tell me but I knew something was odd when I saw you lot at the cafeteria and saw him, carrying a random plastic baggie of eggs. It isn't the most human thing in the world to eat like that.

Especially with them, being spoiled and rotten, which they were, by the way. You all tried to be secretive and hide who you were but.. you didn't do it exactly well. And again, I did what Bella did. I straight up asked her too if you guys were what I thought you were. And having known Bella since we were kids, I could tell when she was telling the truth and when she was lying." (Y/N) took a deep breath before continuing. "Plus, I knew things were, uh... supernatural, I guess is the right word here.... anyways, it was when Bella drastically changed. Not only in personality but in everything else. So, I just... kind of figured it out and placed everything together. And like I said, Emmett and Bella practically told me." "Edward truly married a girl who made an oath to keep us and what we are a secret yet easily announced what we are to an old and dear friend... No offense, (Y/N)." "None taken." "I still say I should've snapped her neck at her birthday party then." "Jasper!" "Wait, you tried to do what?" "Anyways, all that matters is we have each other and there isn't any secrets between us." He said, quick to change the subject. "I love you, gals." Speechless and flabbergasted, (Y/N) says she loved him too, Alice following along. Sure, they were vampires and they could easily kill her at any given moment but (Y/N) trusted them. Not only them but the Cullen's as well. (Although, Jasper and Alice, of course, were her favorites out of the bunch.) (Y/N) was now happily part of the Cullen's and was dating the two most wonderful people in the world and she couldn't want it any other way. (Of course... she did want to be like them. But that's a conversation for another day.) (Little did (Y/N) know, however, Alice already had seen the both of them - her and Jasper - taking turns and turning her into one of them. For obvious reasons, she never brought this up, though. Alice was just happy to know in the end, they'd all be together, forever.)

#jasper hale x femreader #jasper hale imagines #jasper hale x alice cullen x femreader #alice cullen x femreader #alice cullen imagines #alice cullen fanfic #jasper hale fanfic #twilight imagines #twilight fanfic #twilight saga fanfic #my works #jasper hale x reader #alice cullen x reader #poly relationship #alice x jasper x reader #twilight x readers #twilight x femreaders #cierra's stories

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justnerdthings · 3 years

Text

New Beginnings Ch. 15

F!Reader x Liu Kang/Kung Lao

Bit of a timeskip here. Also this chapter contains nsfw!

I know at least one reader is going to want to shank me after reading this. It's okay. I promise I'll make it up to you.

@ancientowlgirl @poor-unfortunate-soul-85 @shang-hung

Weeks had passed. You were in full training mode. You had learned the layout of the temple. You were much more familiar with the customs of the monks. You were comfortable.

Well, almost.

Your muscles were sore from training. Lao and Liu had put you on a fast track. The tournament was still five years away, but you had so much to catch up on. As for the boys…

You had put a wall up. They’d both been pinning for you. Of course you knew they would be. Ever since that kiss with Liu… Ever since Lao admitted his feelings for you… It had been one wild ride after the other. But you had made it clear to both of them: You were not ready for any relationships.

God, you hated telling them that. What were you thinking? They were both incredible choices. You’d never have options like them back home. Were you crazy for telling them both to back off? Probably. But did it help you adjust to temple life? Absolutely. You had enough to worry about around here. A relationship with one of them would have been nice, but the rivalry between them would have destroyed them. You couldn’t risk that.

Raiden had commended your approach to this issue. He’d been pleasantly surprised by your restraint. He’d even offered to help. You still had no idea how Raiden could help, but the offer was nice. You’d opted for ol’ faithful: staying so busy that you didn’t have time to think about relationships.

Of course at night that didn’t work. You’d spent nights staring at the ceiling, or tossing and turning, being drowned in loads of inappropriate thoughts. And of course, you’d taken it upon yourself to relieve some of that tension. Other nights, you thought about what life would be like with one or the other. You’d gotten to know them both so well over the past few weeks that you had pretty clear visions of what relationships would be like with them.

You weren’t sure you could choose between those two visions. But, it didn’t matter. You had no time for that. Five years. You had five years to turn into a lean, mean, killing machine!

A nudge to your shoulder brought you out of your thoughts. Looking up, Lao was watching you with concern. He stopped you in the hallway.

“Are you alright?” He asked.

“Yeah. Sorry. Just lost in thought.” You yawned then and stretched your arms out over your head.

“What are you thinking about?” Lao asked curiously and followed along with you as you began walking again.

“You. Liu.” You shrugged. You didn’t see the point in hiding these thoughts anymore. They both knew how you felt. They both knew how each other felt.

Lao lifted a brow. “Yeah? What about us?”

“Just… kicking myself for telling you both to back off,” you sighed.

He seemed to perk up then. “Yeah?”

“I feel like an idiot. But I know it’s the right choice.”

“How do you know?”

“What do you mean, how do I know? I got five years to turn into you and Liu. I can’t be distracted. I need to buckle down. I have to stay focused.”

He sighed. “If we die in the tournament, then we won’t get the chance later,” he reasoned. And you’d thought of that. He was right. If you died in the tournament, and let’s be honest, which was highly likely, you wouldn’t get the chance to choose later. But if you did choose now, then you would mostly likely be too distracted to keep up your training. The tournament would come. You wouldn’t be ready. You’d be killed… But at least you’d have loved. Right?

You sucked in a breath. This sucked. All of it sucked.

Lao noticed that familiar look of conflict on your face. He frowned at you. “You’re allowed to enjoy yourself, Y/N.”

“I can do that after the tournament.” God that was an awful excuse. You weren’t even going to survive the tournament. How could you enjoy yourself afterward?

He sighed. Did he think you telling him and Liu to back off was stupid? No. He’d admit you had very valid points. But he wasn’t a fan of how you were handling yourself. Before, you could relax and enjoy yourself, even if you did throw yourself into panic attacks. But now… This ‘buckle down’ attitude you had adopted… Both Lao and Liu had watched you busy yourself to exhaustion every night. He hated that.

“I need you two to keep pushing me,” you told him. You’d told them both this plenty of times over the past few weeks. Keep you busy. Keep you distracted. Make you stronger. Whatever it took.

Ordinarily Lao would be happy to keep pushing a student… But you weren’t just a student anymore. You were the woman he had eyes for. The woman Liu had eyes for. And even though they’d both been told to keep a level of distance, they both hated it.

He hated it.

And over the past few weeks, Lao had noticed a change in you. Liu chalked it up to you finally being free of your medication and withdrawal. That this was the real you. That this overly focused, morbid, husk of yourself was the real you. And not only did that medication keep you from panicking everyday, but that it made you happy.

Liu had done some research on the medication you were on. Sertraline, he’d said it was. Not only was it for anxiety. But it was for depression as well.

Was that what they were witnessing? Depression? This didn’t seem like any depression Lao had seen before. Depression was supposed to be sadness, wasn’t it? Moping around? Hating yourself? Maybe even suicidal? You didn’t seem sad… But you weren’t very happy either. You weren’t suicidal that he could tell. Maybe you brooded, but he wouldn’t say you moped. And hating yourself?... Yeah, he’d seen that when you grew frustrated. You’d talk down to yourself. You’d cuss yourself out… Was this what depression really looked like?

He hated it.

Stopping at your door, Lao offered you a smile, which you returned, but Lao could see that it was forced. He hated that too: That forced smile you always gave him and Liu now. But it was a battle he didn’t want to fight. He’d continue to let it go.

You stepped into your room and left the door open. He’d hesitated before following you in. Your room was a mess. Clothes everywhere. Cups and plates left all over. You didn’t seem to mind it, but it annoyed him. It’d grown worse and worse over the weeks. He watched as you kicked aside some clothes carelessly, then you suddenly froze.

His brows knotted as you stood so rigid. He followed your fixed gaze. His own body stiffened.

Now, Lao wasn’t an easy man to frighten. Some had even claimed he was fearless. He could slice and dice his way through hordes of enemies. He could reach through someone’s chest and tear out their still beating heart. He laughed in the face of danger. But one fear he had never managed to conquer… was what he was looking at right then.

Without a word, he slowly backed out of your room. You didn’t notice until you backed up and reached behind yourself for him, only to grasp air. Turning, he was gone. Your brows knotted. He was just there. He was just there. Where did he—

You noticed him peek around your doorway cautiously. Confusion was practically dripping from your features. “Is it dead yet?” He asked. For the first time that you could recall. Lao’s voice had shaken.

Oh. Great. He was afraid of it, too. Him. A killer like him. Great.

You looked back to the source of both of your fears. Your heart skipped several beats. It was gone. Where did it go?! You looked around frantically. Where did it go?! Where did it go?! You weren’t going to sleep in your room until you found it! You weren’t going to sleep here at all unless you saw it leave, or it dead! Preferably dead! It and its whole family! Dead!

Movement caught the corner of your eye and you screeched and swatted at your shoulder. You ran out of your room, flailing, beating yourself, hyperventilating. “Get it off! Get it off!” You shouted. But Lao was backing away with fearful eyes.

“You get it off!” he shouted back.

He wasn’t going to help you?! You were freaking out! You shook your gi out and swatted yourself all over as Lao watched on at a distance.

You stopped as Liu came over, face full of concern. He must have heard your shouting.

“What is going on?” He asked, looking you over, looking for whatever you were trying to rid yourself of. He didn’t see anything. You realised, by his complete confusion, that you were fine. It wasn’t on you. You breathed a sigh of relief, then joined Lao in peeking back into your room.

Liu’s brows were about as knotted as they could get as he stepped in the doorway and looked in.

“It’s still in there,” Lao said.

“What is?” Liu asked.

“That eight legged bastard,” You answered.

Liu let that sink in for a second before he turned his head to you and Lao. A spider? All this over a spider? He knew Lao didn’t like them. He knew you didn’t like them. But both of you scared of them? He almost laughed at the two of you. “It’s just a spider,” he reasoned. Honestly, what was the worse it could do?

“Don’t say it’s name!” You hissed at him. “You’ll anger it!”

Liu couldn’t help that chuckle. He shook his head and stepped into the room, ignoring the mess for the moment.

“No, don’t!” You called after him.

“It’s just a spider,” Liu said again, grinning as he looked around your room. “Where is it?”

“I don’t know,” you answered. “It was on the ceiling. Then I thought it was on my shoulder.”

Liu looked up at the ceiling, but he couldn’t see any spider. His eyes looked over the walls, the corners, the floor. He even pulled your sheets back to see if it had crawled into your bed. Nothing. He couldn’t find that spider. “I don’t see it,” he finally said with a sigh.

“I do,” Lao said. His voice was distant. You turned to look at him. He was down the hall several paces. He lifted his hand and pointed at you. You felt the icy chill of anxiety wash over you. “It’s on your back,” Lao said.

Your body tensed up. You were shaking. A whine left you.

“Hold still,” Liu said behind you. You had fought against every fiber of instinct to beat yourself again. You stood rigid as Liu’s hands came to your back. You held your breath. When you felt his hands leave you, you sucked in a shaking breath. “Is it gone?”

Liu came around you. He showed you the spider in his hands.

Oh, fuck that. You backed away frantically and tried to hide behind Lao, but Lao was trying to hide behind you as well.

Liu watched you two with such amusement. He chuckled and shook his head again. “I’ll go release it elsewhere,” he told you both before walking away.

Once Liu and that eight legged bastard were far enough away, you shuddered the rest of your nerves off. Lao was watching you. He grinned sheepishly.

You shoved at him as anger came over your face. “YOU ASSHOLE!”

“What?” Lao said, lifting his hands defensively.

“Some friend you are!”

“I don’t like spiders!” He shouted back.

“Neither do I!” You screamed.

“I would have helped you!” He shouted with hesitation. Lying.

“‘You get it off!’” You repeated his words, mocking him.

“I thought you could!”

“Fucking asshole!”

“Hey!” His brows knit in anger. “If you had kept your room clean, then the spider wouldn’t have been there in the first place!” He accused you. “Ever since you told Liu and I to back off, you’ve been miserable!” He shouted.

“I’m trying to focus on the tournament!” You defended yourself.

“Stop pretending this is all about the tournament!”

“It is all about the tournament!”

“No, it’s not! It’s about us! Me and Liu!”

Your face was turning red in anger. You hated him. You hated him so much. You hated him because he was right. You were so flustered. So frustrated. It was about them. You couldn’t bring yourself to choose, so you threw up a wall to keep them out. You hated it! But it was working!

“I’m right, aren’t I?!” Lao shouted.

You were glaring daggers at him. “Fuck you,” you hissed at him.

“I am, huh?!”

“Fuck. You!”

“Fuck me yourself, coward!” Lao shouted, his own frustration was getting the best of him. And you could see he was just as surprised by his own words as you were.

You two stared at each other. You were daring each other to make the first move. Like hell would you make the first move.

And you didn’t. In a few short moments, Lao came to you. He grabbed hold of your face with firm, yet gentle hands, and pulled you right into a hot and rough kiss.

You went rigid again as your lips connected. Every bit of you was screaming to push him away. But your body wouldn’t move. You couldn’t even breathe. Your head was flooding with hormones that had been denied the past weeks. The angels on your shoulders were arguing. And just as quick as it had happened, Lao had pulled away.

You stared at each other in silence again. Your eyes were locked on each other’s. Your chest was heaving now with shallow breaths. Your heart was pounding so hard that you could hear it.

But that kiss… You could groan. You’d wondered what kissing him would be like. You knew what kissing Liu was like. You wanted to know what kissing Lao was like. It wasn’t at all the same, but the situation was vastly different. With Liu you had been scared and curious… Then later on it was like fireworks as you both grew comfortable. But with Lao… It was out of nowhere and you were both frustrated and angry. The kiss was short and rough… And you wanted more.

You shifted your weight. Reaching up, you grabbed his stupid hat off his head and dropped it to the floor very unceremoniously. You then pulled him back into a kiss. It was sloppy and hard. It was full of spiteful passion. And as Lao backed you against the wall, it grew hungry.

Lao pressed himself against you, pinning you against the stone wall as his hands gripped your waist. You could feel his own heart pounding against your chest. Your fingers curled into his hair. You tugged. His top knot came loose, but neither of you cared. He growled into your lips and the sound almost made you submit your entire self to him. You pushed your hips into his, earning another gruff sound from him. You tried to push him back, but he simply shoved you back against the wall. You grunted and broke the kiss to look up towards the ceiling.

Lao’s lips moved down your jaw and to your neck. You couldn’t help the little moan that escaped you. He’d shifted. His hands moved down your backside. They lingered on your ass for a few seconds before they moved lower, then gripped the back of your thighs. In one smooth motion, he’d lifted you off the floor and wrapped your legs around his waist. Oh, shit, was that hot. You tugged at his hair, pulling his head up so you could kiss him again. This was a mistake. This was a horrendous, lovely mistake.

Lao pulled you from the wall and carried you into your room. He’d managed to kick the door shut behind him without breaking your kiss. You blindly reached behind him for the door, searching for the lock. Once you felt it, you yanked it to latch. Lao heard the harsh clash of the iron lock and carried you further in, to your bed, and dropped you onto the mattress.

You stared up at him with wide eyes. You were catching your breath as you watched him begin to remove his clothes. Your heart was skipping all kinds of beats as you finally realised the situation at hand. You had to stop. You had to stop right now. This wasn’t right. You couldn’t do this. You had to stop right now. But as Lao removed his top and revealed those well chiseled abs, your mind went blank. Ah, shit.

He climbed over you with a famished look in his eyes. Lao was starved. He’d been fighting his feelings for weeks, just like you. And also like you, he was tired of it. It was distracting. You’d been lying to yourself. You’d been telling yourself you didn’t need this. Didn’t need him. Didn’t need Liu. Not like this. You’d been telling yourself they were just teammates… What a load of bullshit. You wrapped your arms around his neck as he lowered himself for another kiss.

You couldn’t choose between them. And you were sure that if it had been Liu who had grabbed you and pulled you into a kiss just minutes ago, that he’d be the one laying over you right then instead of Lao. But Liu wouldn’t have pulled you into that kiss. When you’d told him and Lao that you didn’t want a relationship weeks ago, he didn’t protest. He backed off. He gave you space. Liu always respected your boundaries. But Lao always pushed them.

Lao let a hand roam down your side. His fingers slipped under your belt. He simply pulled it free. He pulled open your gi. He was starting to undress you like an impatient child unwrapping their present on Christmas morning. You rolled your body against his. His hand dragged along your bare stomach. Goosebumps plagued your body at his touch. You could feel his excitement as he grinded it against you.

You groaned into the kiss. He grinned against your lips. You tangled your hand into his hair again and pulled his head away so you could catch your breath. He gladly went to kissing and sucking on your neck as he moved his hand up… up… and he grabbed a handful of your breast still confined in your bra. You moaned and rolled your hips against him.

There was a knock at your door.

Both you and Lao froze, staring at each other, barely breathing. Maybe if you were both quiet, whoever it was would think you weren’t there.

Another knock, and Liu’s voice called from behind the door. “Y/N?”

You sighed. Dammit, Liu. This was not the right time. Lao was giving you a look and shaking his head. He wanted you to ignore Liu, and to encourage you, he began to trail some soft kisses along your throat. You tilted your head back and sighed contently, letting your eyes close. But as Lao nipped your skin, a cry escaped you.

“Y/N?” Liu’s tone was full of concern. “Are you alright?” He must have heard you. Dammit.

Lao hid his face in the crook of your neck. His frustration was only growing now. You stroked the back of his head gently, silently reassuring him before you squirmed out from under him. You grabbed your belt from the floor and quickly tied your gi closed. You ran your fingers through your hair. Then you unlocked your door and opened it only a few small inches--just enough to peek out, but not enough for Liu to see past you.

You caught his warm brown eyes and that gentle smile came to his face. “Y/N,” he greeted, despite seeing you only a little while ago.

You returned his smile, again it was forced, but now for a different reason than simply wanting to distance yourself from him. “Liu.”

“I released the spider on the north end. I figured that would be far enough away,” he told you. You felt your nerves fire up. You’d forgotten all about that spider. You could have gone the rest of your life not remembering that spider. But you were thankful Liu had told you where he left it. Now you knew where to look out for the little bastard. Luckily, you didn’t spend much time in the north end of the temple.

“Thank you,” you breathed, then nodded.

“Are you alright?” His voice was full of concern again. “I thought I heard you crying?”

“No. I mean, yes. I’m fine.” You shook your head. “Just still a little shaken, I guess.”

His eyes scanned over your face, taking in every detail not blocked by the door. And you noticed how his eyes lingered on your lips. He’d done that so much since you’d both had your first kiss with each other. And you wouldn’t lie, you’d found yourself doing it as well. You noticed his breath hitch slightly as you bit your bottom lip gently. You were thinking about kissing him again. About feeling his hot lips engulfing yours.

Rustling from behind you reminded you that you’d already had a pair of lips to kiss--ones that were just all over you a second ago. Dammit. This is why you put up that damn wall. You let your forehead fall into the door frame and sighed at your own dumbassery.

“Are you alright?” Liu asked again, stepping closer.

You nodded and looked at him out the corner of your eye. Dammit, he was so cute looking at you like that. “Can we talk later?” you asked him. “I’m just exhausted right now.”

He smiled again. He bowed his head. “Of course.”

“Thank you.” You smiled back to him and stepped away from the door to close it. After a few seconds, when you thought Liu was out of earshot, you hissed curses under your breath. You turned and leaned back against your door, covering your face. This was a complete disaster.

“Hey…” Lao called over cautiously. You could hear him climb off your bed and step towards you. You let yourself slide down your door. When you pulled your hands away from your face, Lao frowned at the sight of you. He knelt down in front of you and reached out to hold either side of your face. His thumbs wiped at your tears.

“I can’t do this anymore,” you’d finally admitted as you began breaking down. Lao’s eyes were desperately searching yours, but it was a futile effort. There wasn’t anything else to see. You weren’t hiding anymore.

“It’s okay,” he told you gently.

You shook your head as the tears flowed freely down your face. “No it’s not,” you sobbed. “I can’t do this anymore.”

“Yes, you can.”

“No, I can’t.”

“Yes, you can.”

“I don’t want to.”

His jaw hardened. Lao didn’t know what to say. That was the one thing he didn’t want to hear. That was the one thing Liu was worried you’d say in the beginning. And you were saying it now because of them. Dammit.

He shifted to his knees and closer to you. His grip on your face tightened only slightly as he looked at you with such guilt you’d never seen. “Don’t go,” he said--he begged. “I’ll back off. I promise. I’ll even tell Liu to keep his distance.”

You were shaking your head again. “It’s not going to work. This is just going to happen again.”

“You can’t leave…”

“Is there anyone else who can train me?”

“Y/N…”

“Any women? Warrior nuns?”

Lao’s frown deepened. “Please…”

You pulled your head from his hands. “I want to be alone,” you told him as you wiped your face with your hands.

Lao looked so defeated in that moment. He didn’t know what to do. His brows knotted as grief washed over him. Why did he have to kiss you? If he’d just walked away, you wouldn’t be wanting to leave. Why did he have to screw this up? Why did Liu have to come back?! He was clenching his teeth as he stood and grabbed his top from the floor. He slipped into it as you got to your feet and retreated into your little bathroom. Lao opened your door and stepped out. He closed the door behind him. He turned to walk away.

He stopped dead in his tracks.

Liu was leaning against the opposite wall, staring at him with a knowing look. Lao stiffened.

“How?...” Lao began, but didn’t get to finish before Liu pointed to the floor. Lao followed the gesture and there it was: his hat, still laying carelessly on the floor where you had dropped it. Dammit. He sighed and reached out, summoning it back into his hand.

But how much did Liu know? Did he just assume what had happened in your room, or had he heard your crying just on the other side of the door?

“I think we need to talk,” Liu told him, and the tone Liu had used told Lao that Liu had heard the crying. That wasn’t the ‘I’m disappointed in you, Kung Lao’ tone. Nor was it the tone Liu used when he was angry with Lao. It was the bad news tone. It was the ‘we fucked up’ tone. It was the tone he had when they needed to admit something to Raiden.

Lao had sucked in a deep breath. He nodded to his brother.

#mortal kombat #mortal kombat 2021 #liu kang #kung lao #raiden #reader insert #fanfic #fic #reader x character #ludi lin #max huang #tadanobu asano #new beginnings #reader x liu kang #reader x kung lao #liu kang x reader #kung lao x reader

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kindness-ricochets · 3 years

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I’ve been seeing a lot of thoughts and hc of autistic wylan lately and you seem to also be a fan of the concept. May I ask why? Exactly? I could definitely kinda see it but wanna hear you thoughts you’re always so eloquent

Hey there anon! Sorry for the delay—I’m guessing you already found an answer to this elsewhere while I was off Tumblr for a bit, but just in case, here are my thoughts. This will be heavily personal, but… well, you can’t very well ask an autistic person about autism and expect neutrality!

Autism is different for everyone and can be difficult to pin down, so while Wylan is arguably autistic, he misses several beats that for me would have made him definitively and undeniably autistic. For example, when the bells start to ring, triggering black protocol—I work in a place with a lot of bells and am frequently caught too close to one and normally press my hands over my ears until it’s over because that sound is like shrapnel raking across my insides. All of them. Not just the ear and brain parts. Wylan doesn’t have that sort of visceral reaction, but that may just mean he doesn’t have the same sensitivities that I do, or to the same level. He also never, that I recall, eats meat—as weird as that might sound, eating meat is incredibly complicated with heightened sensitivities to taste and texture. I’m not sure how old I was when I realized it was strange to get up from the table to spit out my food because it viscerally repulsed me. So it might be that Wylan is autistic and has different experiences than I do. Those are things I would include in a story as major indicators of a character being autistic. This might also mean that his father’s way of raising him taught him to hide unusual reactions and stimming behaviors. It’s not that much of a reach to assume a man who tried to abuse the dyslexia out of his son would take the same approach to autism. (More on autism and abuse later.)

So while I’m going to lay out why I read Wylan as autistic, that’s why I think it’s valid to read him as not being autistic as well. Both are valid.

A final caveat, I am well overdue for a reread of the books, so I likely left something out or could have found better examples. Take this as a few of my reasons for a personal headcanon. Anyone who feels differently, that's fine! We can each read things our own way :)

1 - Hyperfixation: The way Wylan loves music

Most of the Crows’ backgrounds color how they see the world: Kaz’s shrewdness, Matthias’s tactical thinking and superstition, Inej’s faith and Suli wisdom, etc. That’s a sign of good character writing. But very little of Wylan’s upbringing seems to have influenced how he sees the world. It comes closest when he thinks about how his father would scorn his new friends, but we never see that scorn from Wylan.

The way a hyperfixation feels, it’s like you’ve always lived in a close parallel world, never fully been a part of the other one where it seems like everyone else lives, but suddenly there’s this bright shining piece of your soul laced through the other world. It lets you connect, it lets you exist in their realm, and you can’t help but filter everything new through that lens because it’s the brightest, most wonderful thing. (I had been between hyperfixations for a while when I started a new job; six months into that work, I read Crooked Kingdom. One of my coworkers thought I had fallen in love, it was that marked a difference.)

So, combining these: Wylan never really acts like he was part of his father’s world, and indeed is in some ways separate from the other Crows, but he parses everything through music, his hyperfixation. He sets words to music to remember them, like he does with the contract. Even his own anxiety is made sense of through music, when in his first narrated chapter, he sets it to music: what am I doing here what am I doing here…. When he’s overwhelmed, his thoughts are “a jangle of misplayed chords”. The Crows have backgrounds that influence how they react to the world, but Wylan’s hyperfixation is his means of experiencing and understanding the world.

2 - Literal thinking: Wylan responds to exact words

In this post, I went into detail on the line where Wylan suggested waking up men to kill them. Wylan is generally unsupportive of killing people—Oomen, Smeet’s clerk, his father… he advocates not-murder in each of these situations. Accepting his aversion to murder, his suggestion to wake men up and kill them seems like a genuine reaction to Jesper saying he doesn’t want to kill unconscious men. Wylan takes things literally.

This happens the most with Jesper, probably because Jesper talks to Wylan the most. Nina and Matthias don’t really register him past how he might be useful, Inej is usually quite direct, and Kaz is very deliberate when he speaks with Wylan. This really interests me because Kaz tends to vary his speech more than the others do, he adapts more to being around other people. He jokes a little with Jesper, spars with Nina, speaks more openly and more sharply with Inej, and he’s precise with Wylan. Kaz may not know what autism is, but he recognizes what’s effective with Wylan.

Another example is when Wylan is sketching the Ice Court plans and Jesper says it looks like a cake. There are plenty of valid responses here: pointing out that concentric circles look like lots of things, that it’s just a sketch, telling Jesper to stop looking over his shoulder. Instead, Wylan says that the Ice Court is sort of like a cake. That… doesn’t sound like something Wylan would normally say. He’s not addressing the whole situation, he’s addressing the specific words Jesper said.

One of the most heartbreaking examples of this (to me, anyway) is with Marya. Wylan does the same thing with his mother, when she asks if he’s there for her money and says she hasn’t got any, and his response is, “I don’t either.” We understand as readers that what Marya is communicating here is that she is so accustomed to being utterly ignored unless she is being used, and if she told Wylan that no one visited but to take advantage and she assumed he was here for the same reason, he would say it wasn’t the case. But he just responds to the immediate statement.

There are a lot of examples of this.

3 — 0% perception, 100% creativity

Wylan can identify things that don’t make sense or that he doesn’t understand, but at the beginning of the series he can’t make leaps, only ask questions. On the Ferolind, he wonders about the source of water at the Ice Court; though Kaz doesn’t say as much, he was clearly wondering, too, because he eventually figured out the underground river. There’s an interesting parallel here where, in the beginning of Crooked Kingdom, Wylan asks a question about how they’ll break into Smeet’s and Kaz tells him to use his eyes instead of running his mouth—at which point Wylan is able to figure it out. I don’t think this is because he never tried before, though, but because no one ever bothered to teach him. Kaz can be harsh but he gives harsh corrections rather than harsh rejections and Wylan learns from him.

It’s hard to understand the world for people with autism. The world is designed and run by and for people whose minds are fundamentally different from ours, whose thoughts and experiences are unlike ours. Imagine trying to learn English or Spanish or Mandarin or any other spoken language if your first language was olfactory. That’s sort of what it’s like for someone with autism to just get dropped into the world and expected to figure this out.

This can be attributed to Wylan’s upbringing, but I disagree with that because none of the others were brought up in the Barrel, either, and Wylan doesn’t understand trade or politics with any special skill. Kaz wasn’t born in the Barrel, but he managed to go from “stealing is wrong” to “wrong isn’t my concern” real quick; Colm Fahey didn’t raise his son on gambling and firefights; the Ghafas never expected their daughter to be away from the family. Only Nina has relevant training—and even that’s precious little, she left school way too early. The others figured it out; Wylan needed a bit more help. He also seems surprised by the way his father conducts business. Wylan takes things on face value—like the time he’s surprised someone would do something, simply because it’s unlawful. This is something he expresses to a group of gangsters. He’s never been taught the way of any world and these things are not intuitive to him.

But Wylan isn’t stupid.

He doesn’t know how to understand the world, but he does understand how things go together. Given a pointy diamond, a handle, and a screw, he cut through Grisha glass. He carries flashbangs and magic napalm, he recreates military hardware—Wylan understands how to make things interact for a specific result. But to me the most telling thing isn’t just that he puts together chemical pieces, it’s that he figured out Jesper controlled bullets. He saw the pieces and put them together.

Wylan can understand when things don’t make sense, but he can’t make sense of them—yet when he understands things at their basic level, he understands them without preconception, for what they are. This is a very autistic way of thinking about things, it goes back to the literalism. He can’t make the leaps of logic other people can, but he also doesn’t make the assumptions they do—“I’ve never heard of a bullet Grisha, so that’s not a thing” vs “Well Jesper’s an almost impossibly good shot and he controls metal and bullets are metal, so why not?”

4 - Broken brain/body connection

Wylan’s great at chemistry and drawing and playing flute or piano—but he’s something of a disaster other times. This is in particular contrast to the other characters, all of whom are physically adept. Meanwhile it’s a challenge for Wylan to climb a rope ladder and he spends a full paragraph trying to figure out what to do with his hands. It’s easy to say, well, he’s used to a sedentary lifestyle, but at this point he’s not. He’s worked in the tannery for months. He’s just physically awkward.

I have less to say on this point only because it’s about something I don’t fully understand myself. I don’t really understand what it would be like to have a body that just… does things? Like normal stuff? Without tics and stims. No idea. Only that Wylan’s discomfort in and seeming lack of mastery of his own body feels very relatable to me.

5 - Abuse

One of the most familiar things about Wylan is how he has been so thoroughly abused and broken down that he’s afraid to do or say much of anything. Again, this is a place his background can be an obscuring factor. Of course Wylan didn’t think to blow up the walls when the first met the parem-juiced jurda and got trapped, he’s a spoiled rich kid! Except, he also startled when Jesper said his name later. Wylan didn’t hesitate because he was spoiled, he hesitated because he had no confidence.

He also thinks Kaz would laugh at him for playing music at his mother’s grave. Now, personally, I can’t see Kaz laughing at Wylan—being indifferent, thinking it’s pointless sentimentality, shaking his head, maybe commenting sharply that they need to go if they don’t have the time. But not laughing. Kaz is a snarky, sharp-edged jerk sometimes, but he doesn’t go out of his way to criticize, he just lets people know when they inconvenience him.

Wylan has been trained to identify attention as negative by an overbearing abusive father who literally saw him as less favorable than a demon. Now, that may have been hyperbole, but Jan criticized everything he could about Wylan—art, music, emotion—and made clear that he was worthless and competent to nothing. (Jan Van Eck can suck a rotten donkey dick but that’s neither here nor there.)

A lot of people with autism experience levels of bullying that have similar impacts. Or as the kids these days are calling it: we go to school. We go to school where we are weird. Where we look weird and move weird and talk about weird things and there’s a whole little bevy of asswipes to makes sure we know it. I got teased more for playing Pokemon and sitting alone reading than the kid who pissed himself onstage at assembly. (This was before Pokemon was cool. I’m old.) And that is not unusual for autistic kids. It’s also not unusual for this to be compounded by relatives or even parents who may be trying to help but don’t understand and can make things even harder.

So we can’t read social cues and we’re taught at a vicious age that everything that comes naturally to us is wrong. Imagine trying to interact in society with that background. There is no guide and most advice from neurotypical people isn’t actually what they mean. It breaks you down.

Wylan’s anxiety isn’t definitive of autism, but isn’t something that was incredibly familiar as someone whose neurodivergent experiences created a strong level of anxiety.

6 — High Compassion, Low Social Competence

Wylan isn’t very good at making friends. In fact, none of the Crows likes him much in the beginning, and only some of them soften toward him by the end. (Matthias and Nina come to respect his skills as a chemist but neither seems to particularly like him.) But you can see throughout the books that Wylan wants to connect with them and be one of them, he just… isn’t. He’s off-beat. He’s weird. He asks questions and mimics behaviors (trying to be cool and tough like Jesper, saying “mission” like Matthias does, imitating Kaz’s scheming face) but he doesn’t quite get how to adapt.

But he still cares about people. Not just them. Everyone. He cares about the people they leave in the ditch outside the prison wagon, he cares about Hanna Smeet, he cares about Alys. He cares about the people who’ll take a hit from Kaz’s sugar caper.

Wylan’s awkward social skills have undeniable big autism energy. I posit his compassion does as well. This is simply who Wylan is, and that means being someone who cares about everyone. I have nothing to back up that this is related to autism. I can say that it’s like me. (Not to brag.) I can’t turn off the part of my brain that says everyone matters. Individuals can opt out of that compassion, but they have it by default. There’s a certain agony in feeling a pull toward and love for just about everyone and yet an inability to develop meaningful connections with them, and that keen loneliness… it just burns.

Again, it’s not definitive of autism, but it’s very similar to an autistic experience.

I said in the beginning that I didn’t think Wylan certainly had autism and I stand by that, but he is a powerfully honest reflection of many people who do. So he can be understood to have autism, and that’s part of the reason some people have that headcanon.

#six of crows #wylan van eck #autism #actually autistic

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spiritualdirections · 3 years

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Communion in the Hand in the Early Church

My colleague Prof. Elizabeth Klein got a bee in her bonnet about certain traditionalist Catholics claiming that receiving communion in the hand is “an abomination”, and has never been practiced in the history of the Church. As a professor of patristics with a specialization in the history of liturgy, she was frustrated, since the historical record is clear. She typed up the following to make the evidence available.

TL;DR Early Christians definitely received communion in the hand for at least seven centuries. There is no historical question about this issue. The question of what we ought to do today is not the same question as what Christians did in the first seven centuries, but we must avoid sweeping generalizations about what counts as reverent.

Early Christians received communion in the hand at least up until the eighth century. The manner of reception is often described as cupped hands or hands in the form of a cross, and there is remarkable consistency in this detail. Attestations to this are widespread across time and geographical regions. The below represents a selection of these attestations in chronological order; it is by no means exhaustive.

Tertullian (North Africa; c. 155-220): Against Idolatry 7.1; Here Tertullian is chastising Christians who still participate in pagan sacrifices, lamenting that they use the same hands to touch the Eucharist as they do those sacrifices. He asks if they “should put their hands on the body of the Lord with which they have carried the bodies of demons.”

Cyril of Jerusalem (Jerusalem; c. 313-386)*: Mystagogical Catechesis 5.21; “Approaching, therefore, come not with your wrists extended or your fingers open, but make your left hand a throne for your right, which is on the eve of receiving the King. And having hollowed your palm, receive the body of Christ, saying after it amen. Then after you have with carefulness hallow your eyes by the touch of the Holy Body, partake of it, being careful lest you should lose any of it, for what you lose is a loss to you as if of your own members.”

*Note: Some have claimed that this passage is spurious. There is no reason to think so, but the mystagogical catechesis may be falsely attributed to Cyril of Jerusalem and are instead composed by his successor, John. For the purposes of evidence of what early Christians practiced, it makes no difference; the evidence would be from the same place, 50 years later.

Theodore of Mopsuestia (Syria; c. 350-428): Catechetical Homilies 6; “To receive the Sacrament which is given, a person stretches out his right hand, and under it he places the left hand. In this he shows a great fear, and since the hand that is stretched out holds a higher rank, it is the one that is extended for receiving the body of the King, and the other hand bears and brings its sister hand, while not thinking that it is playing the role of a servant, as it is equal with it in honour, on account of the bread of the King, which is also borne by it. When the priest gives it he says: ‘The body of Christ.’ He teaches you by this word not to look at that which is visible, but to picture in your mind the nature of this oblation, which, by the coming of the Holy Spirit, is the body of Christ. You should thus draw near with great awe and love, according to the greatness of that which is given: with awe, because of the greatness of (its) honour; and with love, because of (its) grace. This is the reason why you say after him: ‘Amen.’”

Augustine (North Africa; c. 354-430): In both quotations below, Augustine is pointing out that the Donatists also share the Eucharist with sinful priests (the Donatists argued that sinful priests could not offer valid sacraments).

Answer to the letters of Petillian 2.23.53; “Add to this the fact that I am referring to a man who lived with you, whose birthday festivities you used to frequent with great crowds, to whom you used to give the kiss of peace while celebrating the sacraments, in whose hands you used to place the Eucharist, to whom you in turn extended your hands when he was giving it to you.”

Answer to Parmenian 2.7.13; “Why, then, was he accustomed to offer gifts to God and were others accustomed to accept from him with joined hands what he, blemished and imperfect, had offered?”

Quinisext Council, AKA Council of Constantinople Trullo (Syria; 692): The canon is prohibiting the practice of receiving communion with a vessel rather than one’s hands.

Canon 101 “Wherefore, if anyone wishes to be a participator of the immaculate Body in the time of the Synaxis, and to offer himself for the communion, let him draw near, arranging his hands in the form of a cross, and so let him receive the communion of grace. But such as, instead of their hands, make vessels of gold or other materials for the reception of the divine gift, and by these receive the immaculate communion, we by no means allow to come, as preferring inanimate and inferior matter to the image of God.”

Venerable Bede (England; c. 672-735): In this passage, Bede is recounting the death scene of a certain brother was known for singing scripture verses. He foresees his death approaching although those around him do not.

Ecclesiastical History of England 4.24 “‘What need of the Eucharist? for you are not yet appointed to die, since you talk so merrily with us, as if you were in good health.’ ‘Nevertheless,’ said he, ‘bring me the Eucharist.’ Having received it into his hand, he asked, whether they were all in charity with him, and had no complaint against him, nor any quarrel or grudge.”

John Damascene (Syria; c. 675-749): On the Orthodox Faith 4.13; “Let us draw near to it with an ardent desire, and with our hands held in the form of the cross let us receive the body of the Crucified One: and let us apply our eyes and lips and brows and partake of the divine coal.”

Further questions and clarifications

Did early Christians receive while kneeling?

No. Kneeling on Sundays was forbidden at the Council of Nicaea (325) because at that time it was seen as being related to penance rather than reverence. The below image may help us visualize how early Christians received, although the details about the posture are not as widely attested.

The Rosanna Gospels (Italy; Sixth Century)

This image from a sixth century illuminated manuscript helps us to visualize how communion was received (at least by some) in the early Church. It depicts the Last Supper as a communion line. The disciple at the front of the line first offers thanks to God in prayer with hands raised, then bows and receives in cupped hands very close to his mouth. The other disciples in line tilt their heads in reverent prayer waiting their turn.

Was communion in the hand an exception in the early Church?

The plentiful evidence for communion in the hand means that it was not an exception, but normative. Taken out of context, sometimes certain passages from the Fathers (and later documents) seem to forbid communion in the hand, but they are usually referring to self-communion; i.e. taking the Eucharist oneself from the altar or at home by yourself from a reserve, and not receiving it from the hand of a minister. Self-communion was also allowed in the early Church, but Basil of Caesarea tells us that this practice is to be undertaken only under exceptional circumstances, such as a hermit, or in times of persecution when not everyone was readily able to attend the liturgy (Letter 93).

What about that weird eye thing?

Both Cyril of Jerusalem and John Damascene mention touching the Eucharist to one’s eyes before receiving. The posture in which the Eucharist was received in the hand may help explain this custom of reverence. As in the image above from the Rosanna gospels, the communicant is bowed with cupped hands to receive, and his hands are very close to his eyes. One could imagine passing these cupped hands over one’s eyes before receiving without physically touching the Eucharist.

However, we also have to keep in mind that reverence and understandings of reverence do change over time. Augustine, for example, mentions a miracle involving putting the Eucharist on someone’s eyes, which healed them (Unfinished Work Against Julian 3.162). He neither approves nor censures the mother who used the Eucharist in this way. Although we have no reason to think that this was a common practice, we would not consider that appropriate today nor seek to use the Eucharist for medicinal purposes. There is no golden age of the liturgy to which we should aim to return. Liturgical reforms, including signs of reverence, require sensitivity both to the tradition and to the needs of the modern church.

Did the Church totally reject this practice at some point?

Practices evolved in both East and West such that receiving directly on the tongue / into the mouth was normative. These changes are related to reverence, but the chief concern is the prevention of dropping or spilling – patens and unleavened bread in the West and spoons, drop cloths and tincture in the East both minimize Eucharistic mishaps. The prevention of spilling/dropping was also a chief concern of the Fathers in their recommendations, as mentioned in some of the citations above. However, the Church does not seem to have ever forgotten these earlier roots and practices of receiving communion. Take the following for an example.

In a vision recorded in the Passion of Perpetua and Felicity (North Africa; 3rd century), where Perpetua receives a piece of cheese from Jesus in paradise continued throughout the centuries to be identified as Eucharistic because of the way she received it, in cupped hands.

Pope Benedict XIV (Rome; 1748) interprets Perpetua’s reception of the cheese as a kind of miraculous reception of the Eucharist prior to martyrdom because it is called in Latin a buccella (morsel) and eaten reverently (On the beatification of the servants and canonization of the Blessed vol. 3, p. 180): “It is certain that in this vision one can discern a sketch of the Eucharist; in the morsel offered to Perpetua and in reverent accepting and eating of it and in the voices surrounding saying ‘Amen.’” (It should be noted that Pope Benedict specifically notes that “ipsa accepit junctis manibus”, that she received it with joined hands, which, as Dr. Klein notes, he describes as reverently receiving it.)

#Eucharist #liturgy #dr. elizabeth klein

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loveisneurotic · 3 years

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Kaguya-sama Blind Reaction/Analysis: S1E1

Hello everyone, this is my blog which I am currently using to react to and analyze Kaguya-sama: Love Is War much more seriously than I should analyze any romcom.

I have only seen the first episode of the anime, which this post shall explore using far too many words. If I'm feeling particularly motivated, I may read the manga as well.

My analysis will contain spoilers. If you're thinking of watching this show and haven't seen it yet, I recommend you at least go check out the first episode yourself before reading any further. I don't know what the rest of the show is like, but what I've seen so far has been both entertaining and thought-provoking.

I'm going in mostly blind, but not entirely blind. There are a few images of the anime and manga that I have been exposed to, although without the attached context. Due to cultural osmosis and the sheer popularity of this work, perhaps that was almost inevitable.

Figure 1.1.1: Why did this guy write an essay about a single episode of an ongoing romcom?

Kaguya-sama: Love Is War

Season 1 Episode 1

I Will Make You Invite Me to a Movie / Kaguya Wants to Be Stopped / Kaguya Wants It

Power dynamics in relationships

Figure 1.1.2: Immediately, the mangaka's tastes become clear.

I heard a saying once that really stuck with me: "The partner who cares the least has all of the power."

In the world of dating, I often sincerely believed this saying. You may yearn for someone's affection, but the other person need not give it to you until they are willing and ready. No matter how much you want it, you can't make someone more interested in you, unless you resort to being roundabout, such as adding some mystery and intrigue to your courtship. But is that excessive?

I once felt a potential lover slipping through my grasp, and before I knew it, I found myself chasing after them. As I was yearning for their attention, I felt as if I'd lost my dignity. It was humiliating. Painful. Was it just that they weren't the right person for me? Or was I not funny enough? Not charismatic enough? Not interesting enough? Too clingy? Too talkative? Should I have been more distant and given them more space? Did I seem too weak? Too eager? How should I have maximized my desirability? Regardless, I had surely lost. Perhaps they wanted the satisfaction and validation of conquering me. Playing me for a fool and asserting their superiority by being so distant. Isn't that right? Or is that just insecurity speaking? At what point is it ideal to cut one's losses and walk away?

If someone desperately wants the object of their affection to desire them, does that make them pathetic? Does it make them a loser? If you show more vulnerability and desire than the other person, does that truly make you the weak one in a relationship?

These questions plague our two protagonists and seem to be a driving force behind the main conflict. Since I have also grappled with how much to reveal my own feelings of desire, I find Kaguya-sama: Love Is War to be a particularly fascinating show.

Desire without action

Figure 1.1.3: Our protagonists are gifted with impressively high academic intelligence paired with impressively low emotional intelligence.

The show wastes no time in introducing us to our two main protagonists. Kaguya was born into a family of high stature (and says "ara ara" frequently enough to power a small country of weebs), whereas Shirogane is a "commoner" (Kaguya's word, not mine) who worked hard to reach the pinnacle of the student body. Like timid schoolchildren, they're crushing on each other, and yet they refuse to admit it due to their pride. Instead, they focus on getting their "opponent" to confess their love first.

What stuck out to me immediately is how they both have different ideas of what their relationship would be like. Shirogane envisions Kaguya as blushing, shy, and conventionally cute, whereas Kaguya (thankfully) envisions herself taking absolute dominance over Shirogane (which plenty of people should see coming as a character trait after the anime's very first scene). The bad news about this is that their two fantasies are at odds. The good news about this is that the mangaka has fantastic taste -- you can learn a lot about a storyteller based on the characterization of a love interest or lead character of the author's preferred gender.

In the event that the two of them become an actual couple, I wonder how on Earth they'll reach a compromise as to how they'll treat each other. Perhaps they will have to figure that out before they can even get that intimate.

I appreciate that we get to see both of their perspectives. It hammers home how everyone has a different truth in regards to what they desire and what they experience, and the show does not hold back when it comes to showing just how different these truths can be -- such as a certain lunch-themed sequence that I will talk about later. This works to great dramatic and comedic effect.

That said, when you spend your time fantasizing about what could happen instead of actually taking action, time is not so friendly to you.

Half a year passes.

Figure 1.1.4: Two geniuses dedicate their pride to wasting their life and energy.

Immediately, I got the impression that whoever wrote this segment of the story knows what they're doing. This is too real. And by "too real", I mean I very much appreciate the realism. How many of us have waited for ages (or for eternity) to confess our feelings to a specific someone?

This is the curse of having a crush and being incapable of acting on it. It's also why I hate having crushes.

Manufacturing affection in others, AKA the extraction of vulnerability

Figure 1.1.5: A plan is devised to weaponize jealousy in the name of affection.

To express your truest feelings means being vulnerable. That implies taking a risk and feeling responsible for any potential consequences of rejection, as well as putting our dignity on the line. It would be so much easier for the object of our affection to make themselves vulnerable instead. So instead of being direct and honest, we act indirect. We drop hints. We act suggestively, but not explicitly. We may even place them in situations where we think they are more likely to confess. If they don't pick up on it, we can pretend we didn't mean anything by it. That way, we don't have to risk our dignity. We can just wait for them to make the move.

It sucks.

Incidentally, it sucks even more when both you and your love interest are thinking that way.

It sucks infinitely more when both you and your love interest are COMMITTED to thinking that way.

Someone has to break the deadlock, whether that's immediately or eventually.

If this show isn't one of those romcoms where the status quo never changes ever (judging by the quality of writing, I have faith that it isn't), then at some point, either Shirogane or Kaguya is going to have to be explicit about how they really feel. And it's going to feel scarier to them than anything else they've ever done.

It's gonna be great.

If we could all grow up and live in environments where it's safe and encouraged for all of us to be honest about how we feel and what we want, surely love would be much less painful for so many people.

Chaos theory

Figure 1.1.6: If your prospective lover won't protect you, then your friend definitely will.

Chika is the ideal wild card and agent of chaos in this arena of love.

From a writing perspective, Chika is immensely useful. The mangaka probably could have gotten by without a third character in the mix, but she serves as a catalyst and an unknown element, able to create unpredictability and subversion of expectations. For a comedy-oriented story, this is invaluable.

Blissfully unaware of the mental turmoil that plagues our two lovesick dorks, she is able to unintentionally invalidate whatever schemes that Kaguya or Shirogane spent so much mental energy on, which adds extra comedy and tension for the audience. She is also an effective vehicle for Kaguya's jealousy and projection, as seen in the lunchbox scene which I have so graciously foreshadowed.

Figure 1.1.7: We have confirmed visual on an unidentified fourth person. Chekhov would love this. From their posture, I wonder if they'll be a gloomy character?

Misunderstandings and assumptions

I've heard that most interpersonal conflicts in life emerge from misunderstandings. In the absence of communication, assumptions are born and give rise to misunderstandings.

You may know where I'm going with this. Let's talk about the lunchbox sequence.

Figure 1.1.8 (not pictured because tumblr wishes to deny me of my image spam): Kaguya is too prideful to admit she thinks that a couple is doing something cute.

Figure 1.1.9: Pride is considered a sin for a reason.

From a writing perspective, I was impressed by the lack of romantic intentions in Shirogane in this whole sequence. Not once did he try to get Kaguya to show vulnerability to him. Instead, Kaguya is the only one spinning the situation in a romantic way, while Shirogane's driving force is the misunderstanding that Kaguya is looking down on him for what he eats. Because of this misunderstanding, Shirogane doubles down and makes his food even better, making the situation even more complicated and more stressful for Kaguya. This was definitely my favorite comedy sequence from the first episode.

I appreciate that the show has demonstrated the ability to create these scenarios where one of the characters doesn't even have love on their mind, but there are still romantic thoughts coming from the other character which drives the drama. It gives me a lot of faith in the variety this show will have to offer, and makes me excited to watch more.

When it comes to comedy rooted in misunderstandings, it is important to have miscommunication or lack of communication. In order to resolve a misunderstanding, you need to talk about it. For a pairing as dysfunctional as Kaguya and Shirogane, expecting healthy communication sounds highly unreasonable, which makes them prime material for a whole world of misunderstandings.

Misunderstandings are rooted in assumptions about what the other person meant when they said something or made a certain gesture or expression. When Kaguya glared at Shirogane and his food, he didn't even think to ask "What's the matter?" He just made an assumption about how she felt. I wonder if trying to understand Kaguya's feelings would be considered a sign of weakness by Shirogane?

A prerequisite to initiating an emotional conversation is the desire to understand or be understood by the other person -- assuming that your assumptions haven't already built a narrative for you. It is far easier to make assumptions than it is to attempt any sort of understanding.

In the end, Shirogane fled, unwilling to confront or attempt to understand the intense and passive-aggressive Kaguya. Kaguya feels that she cannot directly ask to try his lunch, so perhaps this is the closest she can get to initiating such a conversation with him at this time. Despite their mind games where they imagine the reactions of their opponent, they still have a lot of difficulty understanding each other.

I am curious to see if this prospective couple's communication skills and emotional intelligence will improve over the course of the story.

The burden of potential romance

Figure 1.1.10: Even the infallible genius Kaguya succumbs to superficial jealousy. It's "mind over matter" versus "matter over mind". That's how the saying goes, right?

Chika is a free spirit, able to ask Shirogane for whatever she wants without being neurotic. That is the power of not being bounded by a crush. Kaguya, who lacks that degree of freedom, briefly loathes her for experiencing something that Kaguya cannot ask for. It's amazing how much someone's feelings for a friend can change without a single word being spoken between them. All it takes is an action, unintentional or not, combined with the raw strength of insecurity. Just as quickly, the status quo can return back to normal too, with the act of properly making up.

To Chika, asking for food from someone doesn't mean anything at all, whereas with Kaguya, it is an admission of defeat. In that sense, a relationship that will only ever be platonic brings peace of mind, whereas a relationship that can be potentially romantic brings leagues upon leagues of anxiety if the outcome is of great concern.

Love is neurotic.

Is love worth the pain? For some people, it is not. For others, the reward is immense -- but only if you can make sure your relationship with this person doesn't end up being a nightmare for your emotional health.

Love and self-identity

The final scene of the episode surprised me in a good way. It's a brief departure from the comedy, and reveals a more heartfelt side of the show.

Kaguya's servant asks her an insightful question. It is substantially more insightful than I would expect from any romcom: "If you fell in love some day, would you wait for that person to confess their love, like now? Or would you confess your love?" I found myself immediately curious to hear Kaguya's answer, since I knew it would be highly informative about her character.

"If that time comes, I would consider the risk of someone stealing him first and come to the one rational conclusion." Even in the realm of love, Kaguya seems precise and calculating. It's as if she hesitates to give a straight answer, but then she confirms: "Of course I would go."

Figure 1.1.11: "Please understand."

It is not embarrassment or rejection that Kaguya fears; it is the absolute destruction of her identity and sense of self. Kaguya is the daughter of a family that practically runs the country. In her mind, everyone yearns for her and wishes to serve her. Turning that around and reaching out to another person to express her own desire would be a direct contradiction of that. It is probably a similar situation for Shirogane, where the infallible self-image he has built up is being put at risk during his romantic duels against Kaguya.

Kaguya clearly feels trapped. She and Shirogane see each other as threats to be conquered, but in reality, they both share a mutual enemy that is much more imposing and insidious: their own simultaneous disgust at the idea of vulnerability.

Their freedom is dominated by their insecurities, and so, even despite their impressive stature, they are still very human. Their upbringing that has lead them to become so accomplished may be more of a curse than a blessing, due to the resulting pride and self-image they likely feel pressured to uphold.

It is hard to cast aside a lie that you have bought into for your whole life.

If our two protagonists wish to have a chance of establishing a healthy romantic relationship, they have a lot of their own demons to overcome first. If they cannot set aside their pride and reach mutual understanding, they have no hope.

Until then, they will both remain trapped in a hell of their own design, however tragically comedic it may be.

My hopes for this story's future

I can tell that the mangaka, unlike far too many writers all over the world, actually seems to have a solid understanding of romance and the conflict that arises within. I've watched too many anime that place huge focus on the "will they or won't they" crap which never runs any deeper than one or both of the characters being too embarrassed to just say what they're thinking, without any sort of convincing mental blocker. In that case, it's clearly just manufactured drama which is designed to pad out the story and waste your time rather than pose interesting questions and themes. In the case of Kaguya and Shirogane, the two of them have substantial communication issues which are depicted in a comedic yet mature way, which I have found engaging.

I very much hope that the show will more deeply explore the themes and questions surrounding the ideas of vulnerability, emotional intelligence, and superiority within relationships. Kaguya and Shirogane have been set up to be great vehicles for such exploration, and I hope the mangaka can capitalize on that, especially if our protagonists can confront these issues directly.

My impression is that the ending will make or break this story. If the mangaka can pull it off well, I can already believe the payoff will be hugely satisfying.

Of course, in order to get to that point, we'll have to see a certain something. It has to do with the most sacred word amongst romcom enthusiasts: "progress". Indeed, after spending chapters upon chapters watching two characters bumble around amidst the same exact status quo, those little signs of advancements in a relationship are highly rewarding.

Underneath all of their aggression, if we can see Kaguya and Shirogane slowly open up to each other and realize the benefits of vulnerability, I think we could witness something really beautiful and really emotionally cathartic.

I've still only seen one episode, but I believe the mangaka has laid a fantastic groundwork for a series and can do a great job developing upon what I've seen so far. On that note, I will surpass our prideful protagonists by opening my heart to this story and entrusting it with my vulnerability, believing it can deliver satisfying development and resolution. You can do it!

Closing thoughts

I did not expect to write so much about a single episode of an ANIME of all things, but here we are. If only I could conjure this kind of power back when I actually needed it in high school English class!

The first episode alone is already so rich with characterization and themes that I managed to find quite a lot to talk about. Given how much I found myself relating to the characters and some of their situations, it's clear to me how this show became so popular. Not only are the animation, direction, and writing excellent, but also many people can probably relate to love feeling like a battlefield.

I do not want to believe in the idea of winners and losers in relationships. That idea creeps into my head whenever I'm having trouble keeping the interest of a new date, and I find myself wondering where those thoughts even come from. Lately, I have been reflecting on the way I relate to other people. Perhaps I've started experiencing this show at a time in my life when I most needed it, and that's why I felt driven to write such a large analysis.

This show poses some very interesting questions about romance that I do not actually know the answer to at the time of writing. I do not know yet how much the show is actually going to explore these themes. Regardless, I appreciate how this show is helping me reflect, and I am curious to see if and how the mangaka will answer some of the questions brought about by the story's themes.

This is a show that I'll most likely have to pace myself with. There was so much to process in this first episode alone. If I went any faster, I'm not sure if I'd even catch all of the details and character moments. I'm excited to move onto the second episode soon.

A highly subjective footnote about my cultured tastes

I'm glad that Kaguya is a sadistic dom with a gentle and vulnerable side, solely on the basis of that being my favorite personality type in a love interest. It also helps that it makes Kaguya's fantasies that much funnier with Shirogane acting so out of character. I feel like this show was made for me.

What was I writing about again? Oh yeah, writing a gigantic wall of text about an anime romcom. Somehow, I spent an entire day on this essay. Hopefully someone got a kick out of it.

#kaguya sama: love is war #analysis #long post #reactions

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corinnesamuels · 3 years

Text

Guarding the Gates, Chapter 4: A Rock and a Hard Place

Lily isn't responding to James' letters.

In fact, she isn't even opening them. He knows this because Sirius told him so.

"I don't think you've been in the doghouse like this with Evans since our fifth or sixth year." Sirius says as he lounges on the couch in his flat, doing his usual crossword.

James lets out a frustrated sigh. "Have you talked to her too, Moony?"

Remus' eyes grow wide for a moment before he gives a slow nod in the affirmative. He looks as if he's trying to avoid the awkwardness of the situation, but James is having none of it.

"Okay, she's talking to everyone but me then?" He looks around to Peter, who puts his hands up defensively.

"I haven't talked to her, mate." He replies loyally.

Sirius snorts. "Is that because she's ignoring you or because you haven't reached out, Wormtail?"

". . . Does it matter?" Peter asks as he attempts to skirt around the question.

James throws himself on the couch, landing heavily on Sirius' feet. Sirius yelps and kicks him for his trouble, but James, ever coordinated, grabs Sirius' feet as if catching a quaffle and holds them in his lap. Sirius pauses to look at his feet and their new resting place across James' legs and, satisfied, reclines back to finish his crossword.

"What was the name of the bloke who came up with all those rules about transfiguration?" Sirius asks, as if his best friend wasn't having an existential crisis just next to him.

"Gamp." James replies absently. "Look, Wormtail, you don't have to stop talking to Lily just because she isn't talking to me. She didn't do anything wrong. This is on me."

"Well, this is a very mature response." Remus says with a raised eyebrow. He sounds pleased, but James detects something else in his voice.

"Why do you sound surprised?" James asks.

Remus shrugs noncommittally. "It's just good to see."

James grumbles to himself and puts his face into his hands. "I didn't expect things to go as far as they did that night." He says.

Sirius puts down his newspaper and gives James an incredulous look. "Surely you saw this coming. Surely you knew this was only going to get worse and prepared yourself for how you would respond when it did?"

When James doesn't respond, Sirius gives a shocked laugh. "You thought that Miranda would see reason by now? Or that Lily would keep biting her tongue until she did?"

James hesitates. "I was hoping things would work themselves out without me having to be in the middle?" Remus and Sirius both groan. Sirius tosses the newspaper in frustration, crossword half-finished.

"Well, what was he supposed to do?" Peter asks, coming to James' defense. "Pick Lily over Miranda?"

"Yes!" Sirius yells as Remus says, "It's not about picking Lily over Miranda." The four of them look at each other, and James looks at Sirius curiously.

"We'll come back to that," He says, with one more look toward Sirius. "Remus, can you elaborate? My hang-up the other night was not wanting to embarrass Miranda in front of the group. And instead, I just pissed off Lily."

"And by not taking a side, you let a pureblood antagonize Lily—a muggle-born—on your watch." Sirius says. "And you let it seem like you agreed with her."

"That's not—" James begins, but suddenly the situation is much clearer. "That's not what I meant to do. You know I would never want that to happen." He looks around the room near frantic, looking for validation from the group.

"We know this, James." Remus says. "But does Lily know this? Does Miranda know this?"

Before James can answer, Sirius cuts in with a different line of questioning. "What is going on with you?" he asks. "This isn't like you. As a matter of fact, you haven't been acting like yourself for a while. I thought it was grief at first. Then I thought you were star-struck over Lily again. But now I just don't know." Sirius looks at him curiously, leaning closer as if he could see inside James' head.

"What do you mean, 'what is going on with me'?" James asks defensively.

"I mean, why are you walking around on eggshells and keeping some strange charade of peace when the James I know would have said what was on his mind because it would have been the right thing to do. The James I know would have said it and dared someone to have a problem with it. You're tiptoeing around these conversations to try to appease both Lily and Miranda, and neither one of them are happy with you." Sirius says before muttering, "But things are never happy for long with Miranda, are they?"

"Sirius." Remus warns.

James' head whips around to Sirius. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Just what I said. The two of you can never keep it together long. And now you're risking a good relationship with Lily for someone who you don't even seem that happy with." Sirius crosses his arms as if waiting on James to deny it.

"Why don't we focus on the other part of this for now." Remus cuts in, eyes darting between James and Sirius. "Do you feel like you've been walking on eggshells, James?"

James is still angry at Sirius claims about his relationship, but as he mulls it over, he has been . . . restrained. He's been quieter and more compromising, clearly to a fault. He'd been a shadow of himself since Euphemia passed, but now that he thinks about it, this seems separate from grief.

"I don't want Miranda to think that she isn't important to me now that Lily is back. That's not fair to her." James says. Peter nods in agreement, but Sirius just rolls his eyes. James is so conflicted about his next thought that he misses it.

"And I guess . . . I guess, on the other hand, I've also been worried that Lily might see me now, after all this time, and think that I'd reverted. I've been trying to be more reserved, less brash because I don't want her to look at me and see the prat I used to be." James rakes his fingers through his hair and avoids his friends’ gazes.

"Have you?" Remus asks.

"Have I what?"

"Have you reverted?"

James shakes his head firmly. "No!"

Remus sits back in his chair, looking as if he's just realized something interesting. "So, you've been so busy trying to prove yourself in areas Lily probably doesn't need you to prove yourself in that you're making unnecessary missteps?"

James hadn't thought about it like that. He'd been so caught off guard by seeing Lily—by her being back—that he hadn't taken time to get his head on straight. He's felt a need to prove himself to her in one way or another since they were 14. He hadn't thought about the fact that she might not even be looking for him to prove himself anymore. That Lily might have come back to England with all the faith in him that she had when she had left. The thought swirls around strangely in his gut. Mingled with something else uncomfortable. He looks up at Remus and knows.

"And if you're spending all of this energy doing this, are you proving it to Lily or to yourself?" Remus continues.

For some reason, that question makes James more uncomfortable.

"I'm just having a hard time figuring out how to navigate how tense things are between Lily and Miranda. I don't want to embarrass Miranda, but I don't want Lily to think I agree with what she's saying, either." James says, deflecting from Remus' question.

If Sirius caught the deflection, he ignored it. "We know you don't agree with Miranda. Why didn't you make that clear the other night and shut down the conversation? Hell, why is Miranda even still around? The two of you spend most of your time at odds and pretending not to be. What do the two of you even have in common?"

"Plenty of things!" James says reflexively.

"Name them." Sirius counters, mouth set in a dubious straight line.

Read the rest at ao3!

Or, start from the beginnining

#jily fic #jily fanfiction #jily fanfic #harry potter #james is all over the place #first war with voldemort #fleamont potter #MWPP

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sepublic · 3 years

Text

Belos the ‘Humble Messenger’?

A thought just hit me, but if Lilith deflects some of the blame of her own actions onto Belos, by claiming she’s just enforcing his will, that he’s making her do this, in addition to considering what HE would do and how that influenced her initial choice to curse Eda…

…What if Belos is the same way, but with the Titan? Especially with how he constantly insists that he’s just a Humble Messenger for the Titan… It’s not BELOS that’s choosing to hurt people, it’s the Titan! Blame the Titan, don’t shoot the messenger… I have to wonder if Belos is also being a coward like Lilith in this own way, absolving himself of what he’s done wrong, of his own mistakes in carrying out the Titan’s alleged will. Like Lilith, Belos could be operating on a “I was just carrying out orders” type of defense here.

And given what his VA said about Belos being ‘misunderstood’ in his own way… Maybe that’s what he meant? Belos thinks there’s nothing he can do, he’s resigned himself to his own powerlessness because he really thinks he lacks the ability to make a change. That he really isn’t enjoying this… Though of course, like Lilith or Amity when she cut ties with Willow, he still bears some responsibility for the consequences of his actions, as cruel and unfair as it is. And with Belos, I imagine he bears WAY more fault and guilt for carrying out the Titan’s will, than any other character has for doing what others tell them to… Belos might think he’s choosing the path of least resistance, that he’s actually being helpful by implementing the Titan’s will in the least bloody was possible; Which, when you consider his implied genocides, says a LOT…

But it also calls into question if Belos even IS communicating with the Titan, or some impostor, or if this really is the Titan’s will, and not the influence of Belos trying to make it be the leader and role model he WANTS it to be, the way Simon Laurent from Infinity Train felt with Grace, or how Jasper tried to mold Steven Universe into the Diamond she wanted him to be; It’s that desire to have someone who validates you, who takes responsibility for you, who comforts and knows exactly what to do… While always enabling any decisions you make and encouraging them, because you can do no wrong; You’re just doing what THEY’re saying, you have no blame in this!

Maybe Belos is outright influencing the Titan, or at least interpreting its will in a very specific way, and has deluded himself into believing he’s carrying out exactly what the Titan is saying… Even if that isn’t exactly what it said, because Belos secretly knows what the Titan really meant and that’s why it was so vague, because of course Belos will understand the intent! So when the Titan tells him to spread the knowledge of magic, Belos interprets it very specifically as ‘Establish a Coven System’, because surely that’s what the Titan specifically meant…

It’s like how some alleged ‘Christians’ interpret the Bible in a way that’s very tailored and convenient to their own pre-existing beliefs and bigotry, to justify their own terrible actions. And given the comparisons between Belos and Western Imperialism by fans… In addition to Dana Terrace mentioning how she was once put into a headlock by a nun, and the way some Chrstians appropriated and assimilated pagan cultures (again sounding a lot like what Belos does)… And maybe Belos has a deluded perception of reality, of projecting of what he thinks is best, and believing that everything his role model does is actually indicative of and in support of his own beliefs. Kind of like what I speculated with Boscha, thinking Amity’s actions as a bully were validating to her own cruelty, when really Amity was horrified at the kind of person she was becoming, and did NOT approve of Boscha whatsoever!

Maybe Belos has a warped sense of identity, because he’s so convinced to himself that everything he does is the Titan’s will, he assumes the Titan’s feelings are the same as his (“The Titan will be pleased!” A triumphant Belos cries upon receiving the portal from Luz), etc. And Belos has trapped himself in his own fantasy, into thinking that he basically IS the Titan because everything he does is surely a reflection of what it believes, because it obviously agrees with him 100% and he completely understands it in a way that nobody, not even the Titan, does… Because Belos KNOWS better, he knows what’s good for the Titan, just as Odalia and Alador claim so for Amity, or what Lilith used to for Eda!

Which, this just leads to a lack of identity, no sense of self on Belos’ behalf, just as he inflicts upon others with his cult-like indoctrination… Just as Lilith might question who she is without the Emperor’s Coven, perhaps Belos, deep-down, doesn’t know who he is without the Titan; A question any parasite would ask, because Belos can’t stand on his own. He has no will nor convictions of his own, he can’t rely on just his own reasoning to justify himself because he lacks that confidence… So Belos seeks someone who CAN justify what he does, and then warps them to fully fit that idealized image of his. And so just as Lilith realizes that she doesn’t really understand Eda, that she hasn’t figured out that Eda secretly wants to join the Emperor’s Coven but just needs time or a cursed curse to join… Belos will realize that he didn’t exactly understand the Titan at all, and probably was outright influencing and projecting onto it!

This is going to lead to a lot of confusion, self-doubt… Plenty of denial, certainly. If Belos did accept this reality, this truth, and discern his delusions from what actually is… Then I could see him recovering in a way similar to Lilith, and maybe the two could find a very unusual solidarity in this, while awkwardly naviating how he used to be her feared boss and influenced Lilith herself, threatened her… And yet now she’s way past him in terms of growth and sense of self. Maybe Belos HAS considered that he’s been wrong about the Titan’s will in the past, but he doesn’t want to admit/explore this possibility, because he’s already done so much….

Maybe he’s just doing what seems to be the least challenging for him, maybe Belos has legit fooled himself into thinking he too is at the Titan’s whim and mercy, he feels bad for his victims, but what else can he do? He’s already sacrificed too many people by this point, he doesn’t want to invalidate those deaths by not going through with what he (and the Titan) planned… He’s not brave enough to do the right thing and Belos is convinced that even if he tried, he wouldn’t accomplish much. To him, he’s most at his useful as a ‘humble messenger’, probably… Belos could be a lot like Krika from Bionicle, perhaps.

Belos is certain that what the Titan has decreed WILL come to pass, it makes no difference if he or someone else carries out its will- So Belos can’t really be blamed for getting it over with, because someone else will… Or he CAN be blamed, but so what? Maybe Belos thinks he’s the best candidate to do what has to be done, the only one willing to do the dirty work, kind of like Thanos from Infinity War. Maybe he ironically thinks that only HE is the one who is acknowledging this cold, hard truth of the universe, and actually doing something about it; While everyone else is simply in denial…

If only people could just understand what he’s doing, where he’s coming from, that Belos takes no pleasure in this, he’s trying to make this as smooth and painless as possible. It really, truly DOES hurt him to sacrifice others like this for his goals… And while he ultimately disagrees with such people, Belos can still admire witches like Luz, as he used to be like them, and he finds an almost admirable youth and naivete to their traits that reminds him of his young, foolish self, so wide-eyed and really believing it could all be that black-and-white and simple, that good will prevail… Belos can’t totally blame them for thinking that way, because he made the same mistakes, so he doesn’t have THAT much of a place to judge; But he still has a tiny place, because at least Belos had the ‘wisdom’ to realize the truth and move on.

Of course, Belos doesn’t see what the Titan or the world is secretly getting at, because there’s nothing there. The Titan is indeed being fully transparent about what it has to say, it isn’t secretly ‘testing’ Belos’ faith… He is acting VERY contrary to a lot of people and things, but just as some deluded, alleged ‘christians’ believe that their god is secretly testing their faith, offering them temptation and false evidence to convince them to go off the right path, when really they just need to keep being stubborn and blocking out all other noise… Maybe Belos is just like THAT.

It’s like Luz saying that she’s picking up what Amity is putting down, even though as far as Amity can tell, she’s not putting down anything (in addition to maybe being autistic and thus not understanding this kind of saying), she wasn’t suggesting that Luz challenge Boscha to a grudgby game; Except, Belos took it WAY worse, and WAY too far to an unimaginable extent… Again, as a dark parallel to her, despite being associated with a much blinding and radiant Light than Luz’s.

#the owl house #toh #the owl house belos #emperor belos #toh belos #boiling isles titan #speculation

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jemej3m · 4 years

Text

if the shoe (ring) fits

in which we meet ichirou, who’s a lot more tolerant to neil’s fuckery than expected.

“Condolences on your father,” Neil said, respectfully with a gentle bow of his head.

He had not liked Kengo Moriyama. The man had been brusque and ruthless, and sickeningly traditional. In a way it was why he and Nathan had be been so well matched together.

“Condolences on yours,” said Kengo’s son, looking out across the sea of milling individuals, dabbing their eyes with napkins and clasping each other’s wrists. Kengo’s brother was down there, somewhere, but not his second son. Nor his wife, who was killed for allowing Riko to exist.

The funeral was plasticky. Neil had never actually been to a funeral, seeing as his mother had been thrown into the bottom of a lake and his father had died whilst incarcerated.

Neil hummed, settling down beside Ichirou.

“We need to talk about your security.”

Neil paused a moment before rolling his eyes. “This again?”

“Yes,” the man said, one eyebrow arched. “How do you expect to continue a dynasty without a child?”

“I’ll have a child,” Neil said offhandedly, even if the idea terrified him. Every day he walked around wondering if there was a switch in his body that’d turn him into Nathan, or at least open up and shove him down the path to become him. Perhaps having a child was that trigger. As a coddling infant, Neil could remember one or two moments of peace and joy with his father, before Nathan decided Neil was a good target for his anger. “Anyone can have a child.”

Neil had never, and would never, have sex with a woman, so long as he was still with Andrew. Which he fully intended to be. But he assumed that it was relatively simple.

“You need a wife,” Ichirou’s voice was cold. “There are many good candidates that you can evaluate -”

“I’m already married,” Neil blurted out. Oops. Andrew was not going to be pleased that Ichirou knew before even he did.

Ichirou finally turned from overseeing his father’s funeral, up on his prestigious balcony, to look at Neil. His eyes were impossibly narrowed. “You’re what?”

“My lord,” Neil said, emphatically. “It has been successfully strategic. This person diverts police attention away from me and the Wesninski name, which in turn includes your name. I do believe I avoided telling you because I didn’t want to trouble you whilst your father was ill.”

“Bullshit, Nathaniel,” Ichirou bulstered, his calm facade broken. He looked very tired and a little incredulous. “I can’t believe you’re married to that fucking cop. Seriously? I could have looked around him being a man, but a police officer?”

Neil shrugged. “It’s worked for us.” He jostled the man’s shoulder. “I forget you’re only a few years older than me, with the way you act like a wall.”

“Yeah, well,” Ichirou muttered. “Neither of us can live up to how our fathers wanted us to be, I suppose. Gay and married to a cop,” he scoffed, but it was almost a laugh. “Your father would’ve had an aneurysm.”

“Not gay,” Neil muttered. “And he did. That’s how he died.” Blunt trauma to the head, clotting, aneurysm, boom: no more Nathan. No one was sad about it.

“You need an heir of your blood and bone, still,” Ichirou insisted. “Not letting you get away with that one.”

Neil waved him off. “Surrogacy with Allison. We’re in the modern world, Ichirou. There’s always a solution.” He wasn’t about to say that he didn’t intend on sticking around for that long.

Ichirou considered him for a bit, before turning back with a resumed stony expression. “Don’t forget your place, Wesninski.” After a few moments, he added “Congratulations.”

Neil felt something settle in his stomach. Relief.

Now he just had to tell Andrew.

The apartment was dark when Neil arrived home, lugging his little suitcase through the door. He’d only gone to New York for the weekend, of which Andrew had been thoroughly peeved about: they both worked long hours during the week, and weekend were meant to be their time.

It was easier now that they lived together. They’d moved in a year ago: it meant Neil only needed heightened security detail on one place rather than two, the rent was cheaper together (not that Neil really needed to worry about that), and it was closer to Andrew’s precinct than his old place.

The dusty yellow lamp was still on in their bedroom despite the late (or early) hour. Neil left his suitcase out by the couch and tip-toed his way into their room.

He had fallen asleep reading, the book on his chest and head at an awkward angle on the pillow. Neil grinned: Nicky had given him a set of grinch-themed sleep clothes last year for Christmas. He wondered how many times Andrew would stab him if he took a photo and sent it to his cousin.

Andrew had to be up for work and Neil wanted to avoid waking him if he could, so he dressed in pyjamas as quietly as he could manage and eased himself onto the mattress. The bed was pushed up against the wall so that Andrew could sleep with his back curled against it, so Neil could easily relieve Andrew of his book, settle it on their one nightstand and switch off the lamp. Then he held Andrew’s shoulder lightly, and tried to ease him into a better position that wouldn’t hurt his neck.

Andrew made a few light noises before rolling and almost squishing Neil underneath him. Neil laughed as Andrew’s arm came around Neil’s chest, his face settling into the crook of Neil’s shoulder.

Neil twisted around till his back was against Andrew’s chest and let himself relax. He’d worry about the marriage proposal later.

Neil knew, objectively, that Andrew wouldn’t say no to marrying him. They were kind of a forever package: The four years since they’d first met and just over three years since they first got together have been as smooth as any relationship between a mobster and a police officer could be.

Neither of them had really sat down and said that out loud though: they each had their fair share of problems than inhibited any such emotional conversation. But Neil still knew.

It was in the way Andrew cooked him his favourite meal when he got home at eleven at night, exhausted and haunted by screams, continually scrubbing at his hands. It was in every sacrifice Andrew made for Neil, the faith he put into Neil’s promises that they wouldn’t have to live they way they did forever.

“You have something to tell me,” Andrew said the following night, when he’d arrived home from work. Neil put dinner down on the table - mac ‘n’ cheese, with nothing remotely healthy about it - and Andrew arched his eyebrow.

Neil sighed and slumped into his chair opposite him, tugging at the collar of his shirt. It was suddenly very warm. Had he turned the oven off?

“Neil,” Andrew warned. “Did something happen in New York?”

“Oh, you know,” Neil said, lightly. “Nothing really. I, uh,” Andrew leaned closer, eyes narrower. “I may have told Ichirou we’re married to get him off my back?”

For a moment, Andrew stared.

“So, what do you think?” Neil asked, voice reed-thin. “I’d change my vows to be ‘CI till death do us part’.”

It didn’t seem like the joke went down well: Andrew’s chair skidded back as the man stood, immediately vanishing from the living room. The bedroom door clicked firmly shut behind him and Neil put his head in his hands. It was too soon, or Andrew didn’t feel the same, or maybe this was Neil’s final straw and now he’d fucked up one too many times for Andrew to tolerate.

“Fuck,” he muttered, rubbing his eyes. “Fuck.”

It’s not like Neil was hell-bent on marriage either - he’d seen the bloodied divorce between his own parents - but it put the two of them on a different page. There was no way that Neil would force Andrew into something he didn’t want - or that Andrew would let him - but it’d be a rift between them. Maybe even permanently.

Neil didn’t want to lose Andrew over this. He should have waited - it’s not like Ichirou would have actually checked legal records to see if they were properly married - they’d only been dating for three years, that wasn’t that long by modern standards, if Neil wasn’t so ridiculously irrational then this wouldn’t have been a problem. He wouldn’t lose Andrew over his loose tongue, when there were plenty of valid reasons for Andrew to leave him -

“Stop.”

Neil looked up, movements jerky and uncoordinated. His limbs felt dismembered. Andrew was stood by the table, watching him with hooded eyes and curled fists.

Neil made a weak noise of inquiry. It broke in his throat.

“Stop thinking,” Andrew clarified, slowly sitting back down on his chair. “You’ll hurt yourself.”

Neil snorted, rubbing the corner of his eye. After another moment of terse silence, Neil cleared his throat. “I can fix it. I shouldn’t have said anything, Andrew - ”

Lightning fast, Andrew reached over their food and put something on the table. For a moment the little velvet box didn’t register in Neil’s mind, but then his stomach was rolling on the floor, heart swooping and soaring. With careful fingers, he picked up the box and opened it.

Within were two silver bands, identical but for the size. Simple. Glossy. Neil took out the smaller one and slipped it on - it fit perfectly, of course. The new weight on his finger felt odd. Odd but good.

“How the fuck did you get my size?” Neil remarked, quiet. Everything was very quiet, but for his heart, which was probably thudding loud enough that even the corpses in Linkin Park could hear.

Splotches of colour appeared on Andrew’s cheeks. “You were napping.”

Neil laughed, admiring it. He wasn’t fussed about jewellery, or ceremonies, or titles or heirs or tradition. He just wanted to know that he’d go to sleep and wake up by Andrew’s side, every day that he could.

“Yes?” Andrew asked, just to be sure.

Neil took Andrew’s left hand where it was resting on the table top and slipped on his respective wrist, kissing his knuckles in lieu of an answer.

“You cannot have ‘Nathaniel Wesninski’ on your marriage papers, Andrew. Are you insane?”

“You’re not taking my name. Or hyphenating.”

Neil huffed out a laugh. “Wesninski-Minyard. No, thank you.”

Andrew scoffed. “I think you mean Minyard-Wesninski.”

Neil shook his head, leaning into Andrew’s shoulder. A lot of time had gone into not reacting to that name with visceral disgust, like it would have a few years ago. “I’ve been meaning to change my name for a while now. For real.”

Andrew looked at him. “They’d allow that?”

“Who cares about them?” Neil said, fierce. “It’s just a name. If they’re upset by that, they’ll be devastated by the knife in their stomach. Fuck them.”

Andrew hummed. “What will you change it to?”

Neil took the file of paperwork they were meant to fill out from Andrew’s la, already bored out of his skull. His legs filled the space, draped over Andrew’s lap. Neil pressed an open mouthed kiss to the corner of Andrew’s jaw, to which he rolled his eyes and muttered “Fine,” even though he was just as sick of the paperwork as Neil was.

“You already know what I’ll change it to,” Neil said, letting Andrew pick him up and carry him to their room.

“Neil Abram Hatford,” Andrew mumbled, laying Neil down atop of his side of the bed. It was unmade, as usual. He grinned and kicked the sheets away with two errant flicks of his feet, arms looped around Andrew’s neck. “Has a ring to it.”

“Hatford-Minyard? Minyard-Hatford?”

“Shut the fuck up,” Andrew muttered. Neil just laughed.

teehee!!!

#neil's bad at proposing #good thing he only has to do it once #andreil #mobster/cop au #butcher!neil #cop!andrew #proposal #marriage #andrew minyard #neil josten #all for the game #aftg #ichirou moriyama is not a robot #what a concept #jem writes

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littlegalerion · 3 years

Text

Been playing way too much Fire Emblem Awakening as of late, and have been envisioning my OCs having the support conversations like what is present in the games. I guess this counts as fanfiction of sorts? If you don’t know what I’m talking about, here’s an example:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXYFS8eggUQ&t=567s

Have Some Abnur and Trechire Support Conversations

Abnur: Still holding on to your old habits? I would have thought the bear would be bald by now.

Trechire: He enjoys the brushing.

Abnur: Is it the same bear? Supposedly Wardens just summon them from thin air, but it’s never been explained to me if it’s the same bear each time.

Trechire: Usually, as the bear forms a bond with us, and so recognizes our call and beats out all other competition.

Abnur: Competition?

Trechire: Nature’s furry warriors love to help a Warden in need. It’s their way of showing off. So yes, when a Warden sends their summons, there can be competition.

Abnur: I always meant to delve further into the Warden’s teachings and abilities via our letters. They aren’t very plentiful in Cyrodiil, but gods we could use every edge possible. It gets more and more frustrating every time refugees get preyed upon by the wildlife.

Trechire: I wish you would have said something. I would have come.

Abnur: Not you. Any other Warden, but not you. I didn’t have time for you to pepper me with questions over the Amulet.

Trechire: And how often did I do that in our letters?

Abnur: …

Trechire: That’s what I thought.

Abnur: Regardless, I had every right to be cautious. Only a fool wouldn’t have been. Not to mention you were...not in the right state of mind. Your grief would have clouded your sense of judgement.

Trechire: Or sharpened it. Don’t lecture me like some child or incredibly lucky adventurer. I’ve been through enough to have learned from fatal, stupid mistakes. You were there for some of them. Not to mention I’m far more experienced at dealing with organizing and preserving groups of individuals- for far longer than you.

Abnur: Longer than me? I’ve had to wrangle all of Cyrodiil while stouts raided the henhouse that was the White-Gold Tower, for more than a hundred years.

Trechire: And here Hircine’s lead Alpha stands before you, having served for two hundred and thirty years.

Abnur: You’re two hundred and fifty some years old? Hmph, you look rather remarkable for your age.

Trechire: Thank you, young man.

C Rank Support Achieved

Trechire: The dragons aren’t very keen on laying low. The flying whelps just ravage the landscape with no regard for subtly or risk.

Abnur: They’re giant, naturally armored lizards that can Shout you to death. You expect them to have a concept of such things?

Trechire: I do, especially after we continuously put them down. Even the dumbest animal alive would know to avoid the claws after they’ve been struck by them twice!

Abnur: That many have been slain? Serves me right, neglecting to at least browse over the reports…

Trechire: Oh no, not by Elsweyr’s own. I’ve met with several other pack leaders about the dragons. We agree not only are they perhaps the best prey we’ve ever had the chance to hunt, but they also greatly threaten our territories. Packs have been regrouping, quickly learning how to kill these beasts.

Abnur: So this has officially become some sort of game to lycanthropes?

Trechire: Yes, and be glad for that. I was the one who rallied the packs into this. Thanks to their thirst for such glory, the dragons have been kept at bay from escaping Elsweyr’s borders. Or, at least far from Elsweyr’s borders.

Abnur: I should have realized that. With Cadwell’s constant chatter, Khamira’s vigilance over my every move, and Euraxia’s forces strutting around, flying Imperial flags and making a mockery out of us, I’m spread thin. I can’t be expected to handle everything, or to retain my usual sharp focus.

Trechire: Good thing you have me, then.

Abnur: Perhaps. First I’ll have to see how you handle some wine before bed, and then I’ll comment if you’re worth all the animal fur left all over our equipment.

Trechire: We’re working with khajiit, you know?

Abnur: It isn’t khajiit fur. I’ve checked. I don’t even want to know how or why you brought a pony inside our barracks, just don’t make it a habit!

B Rank Support Achieved

Abnur: Just tell me what you want. I’m too tired to wait around for you to work up the nerve to ask in your own time.

Trechire: Pardon?

Abnur: You’ve been staring at me for the past five minutes. Whatever it is you want, just spit it out. We have dragons literally breathing down our necks.

Trechire: I… was just reflecting on how far you’ve come. You’ve proved to be a good man, Abnur.

Abnur: ...

Trechire: But that’s what concerns me. I’ve seen many prove their worth, but they never survive through their redemption.

Abnur: Redemption? Just what was it I did that I am now redeeming myself of?

Trechire: You placed trust in Mannimarco, even if a small measure of it. I’m not judging. I...I’ve done far worse, and faced the consequences. Rest assured, we’ll save Tamriel just like we did before, but this time no one has any reason to distrust you.

Abnur: I think Khamira disagrees.

Trechire: She’s young, and still bleeding from the loss of her parents, home, stability… If she was totally together, she’d be equally as hostile towards me. I helped you, supported you, in releasing those dragons. Sithis knows, I was the one who did most of the dirty work!

Abnur: Yes, but you have that Galerion charm. I’m certain your father could set fire to the nearest forest, turn around and smile, then easily talk his way out of any charges or suffer any reputation loss. How did the puddle-scrying necromancer put it? “Galerion knows how to warm a heart, so he can easily manipulate and maintain it.”

Trechire: *laughter*

Abnur: That doesn’t offend you?

Trechire: Not at all. It isn’t wrong. Where do you think I learned my diplomacy and persuasion from?

Abnur: Hilarious, but are we done here? We both have more important tasks to attend to.

Trechire: I’m proud of you. That’s all I wanted to say.

Abnur: You can coo at me all you like later tonight, but for now, let’s not get so sickeningly sweet, shall we?

A Rank Support Achieved

Trechire: What are you doing here? I thought you were leaving?

Abnur: Officially, I left. I told you, I hate parties, not to mention others might start trying to embrace or praise me, much alike you or, worse, Cadwell. But I wasn’t going to leave without finishing what I started.

Trechire: Oh?

Abnur: Would you accept this?

Trechire: A ring? Wait- the gems, those are bits of Welkynd stone!

Abnur: I didn’t think you’d care for a traditional Ring of Mara, given your beliefs, so I had to improvise.

Trechire: ...A Ring of Mara? This… Oh.

Abnur: It stings that you didn’t see this coming.

Trechire: Well, actually...it stung when you left, because… I had had this waiting back in our quarters here for you, after the coronation.

Abnur: You bought a Ring of Mara?

Trechire: I personally hold no regard for the divines, and I know you don’t either, but I thought you’d prefer to stick to tradition.

Abnur: For a two hundred and fifty nine year old mer, you certainly don’t act your age. Buying a ring for me. You should have known better.

Trechire: And miss your face growing this lovely shade of red? Or the chance to prove I’m long past my days of being intimidated by such things? But the fact of the matter is- I love you, Abnur, and for however long it is Tamriel allows us to still draw breath, I want to spend it as your wife.

Abnur: ...And I would gladly spend that time as your husband. Just so you know, however, I didn’t ask for your father’s blessing, and I wasn’t going to propose some grand wedding-

Trechire: Thank Sithis for that! You’d have given him a heart attack, and can you imagine the crowd we’d draw for a full, proper wedding? I can already hear Vivec sobbing obsessively, and loudly enough that no one can hear the vows being exchanged.

Abnur: Just a private exchange of vows, within one of these temples. But for validation, I have the documentation all ready to go for proof of marriage. We just need witnesses.

Trechire: I absolutely adore you.

Abnur: Restrain yourself until after the ceremony. I know that’s an impossible struggle, but know that I have faith in you, my love.

S Rank Support Achieved

#abnur tharn #trechire #galerion #putting the galerion tag on here only because of the galerion charm mentioned #eso #elder scrolls online #these are addictive to write #been on fe as its been easy to carry around with me as its for 3ds #i didn't expect to get so hooked #also the clip above yes I romanced him #the game gave me an option to redeem and romance the villain #why shouldn't i take that chance?!

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class1akids · 5 years

Text

Chapter 249 Thoughts

This is my favourite chapter since forever. It was tense, suspenseful, tragic, funny, awkward, uplifting - just the whole range of emotions - what a great ride from start to finish. It’s meaty character stuff for everyone too and gorgeous, amazing, breathtaking art.

1. Endeavor’s dream...

...of a happy family where he has no place in. Guilt? Foreshadowing? Death flag? Poetic justice? Can his family heal if he’s around? Does he have any right to be there anymore? That’s some deep stuff. And I really despise Endeavor for what he did in the past, yet I still feel for his struggle to do better - and that’s a redemption arc done well.

2. Wonder Trio

They are roommates!!!

We also get a delicious glance of their morning personalities. (And yet again, I’m Bakugou). Todoroki is the residential motivational speaker.

They still didn’t surpass Endeavor. No surprise there, but I think there will be a “faster than you” moment before the end of this arc.

3. The dinner invitation

I can’t believe that Bakugou and Midoriya so naively walk into this particular trap. I love the running gag of Bakugou furiously denying being friends with Shouto.

Can’t wait for him to eat those words and call Todoroki a “friend” some point down the line. It will happen.

But even he calms down when he meets the force of nature that is Fuyumi (I adore her in this chapter!!!!)

4. The awkward dinner

The Deku / Kacchan reactions during the dinner are absolutely gold.

I love Deku’s coping mechanism is to deliver a mutter-analysis of the fried chicken, while Bakugou tries to inhale enough spicy food to numb his brain.

(Midoriya is absolutely flawless in this chapter. From his initial freak-out / sunshine boy, to his crazy muttering, his earnest intervention, his interactions with Kacchan - he was written on point in this chapter).

Fuyumi sneakily left soba noodles off the menu. It’s a brilliant preventive move against all the passive-aggressive slurping. She adapts too.

5. Fuyumi

OK, can I just gush about her?

She has become the absolute BOSS of this family. She can wrangle anyone to do her bidding. She is also stubborn in her sunshine ways - I love that nothing can discourage her from trying to get them together.

Pinching a pissy Natsuo under the table is a great sibling moment.

And I love the depth of the relationship she seems to have with Shouto. She’s really done right by him and it should be recognized more, because she was a kid herself, struggling, and now she could just walk away from this toxic place, but she hangs in there, because her she cares so much and has so much faith. Endeavor acknowledging her (not to her face of course) is a touching moment.

6. Natsuo

Everything Fuyumi is, he’s not. And he has the right to be resentful of course, but ironically, out of Endeavor’s children, he resembles Endeavor the most - not just on the outside. No wonder they don’t get along. He’s holding onto the hate and grudge.

His Front - Back T-shirt is hilarious.

But considering he’s the one who dropped Touya’s name the first time, I wonder if his “cooking” story is a foreshadowing of what happened to Touya. I.e. once it was clear that his body was too weak for his fire (or at least to All Might-beating levels), Endeavor forced him to stop training. Touya in his resentment of being “replaced” by the new masterpiece, defied his father’s order and burnt down something (was presumed dead). Anyway, until we are getting more clarity, this is my theory.

Love how freaked out Shouto is that he’s eaten Natsuo’s cooking.

7. Wonder Clean-up Duo

Deku and Kacchan’s professional clean-up operation is great fun. They even have the awkward conversation of “I know that you know - now you know that I know”. I think Deku deduced from Bakugou’s demeanor that he’s in on the Todoroki family secret, but he expected that it was something Todoroki shared with him, rather than something Kacchan overheard. Anyways, that cat is out of the bag finally.

Also, it’s interesting that Bakugou’s reaction is not to say that it was wrong what happened, but that it shouldn’t be mentioned in front of guests. We already knew his home was not the pinnacle of raising emotional healthy children either....

8. Shouto / Fuyumi and the flashback

I love so much this conversation between Shouto and Fuyumi - it shows how long they’ve come. They are so honest with each other. Fuyumi totally drops the happy act in front of Shouto.

The flashback to the scar incident was so raw and breathtaking. Every emotion - fear, regret, panic, pain, confusion - is so palpable on it. It legit makes you understand why Shouto never blamed Rei for what she did. As she was frantically trying to undo the damage - it made me tear up.

Then Shouto’s really honest reply of not knowing what to think about their father. I love that. It’s so realistic. It must be for him especially so difficult to watch this Endeavor - he’s a good hero, a competent teacher - why waste all these years? All the could have beens are right in front of his eyes. He could have been trained in a way as not to lose his childhood. He could have been the son of a top hero he can be truly proud of.

In think it’s also interesting that just like at the first family dinner, Shouto is only focusing on the hurt Endeavor caused his mother as a reason for holding onto his anger. He hasn’t really acknowledged the hurt he himself had been put through. I understand his hesitation to put himself into the victim’s shoes, but I think sooner or later he will have to face this fact. He was a kid, and he was badly hurt and it was wrong and it’s OK to feel angry for himself, not only for his mum. But he’s getting there slowly - not talking about his scar, and before when he talked openly about his father’s violent training methods.

9. The Midoriya - Shouto meta-conversation

Deku being Deku meddles. And I love how he reflects on the nature of forgiveness (it really feels something he has personally put a lot of thought into), which I think is not only about Shouto and Endeavor, but also, inevitably about him and Bakugou. I wrote more about it here.

I think he’s helping Shouto by saying that holding onto the hate eventually is a valid response, but that he doesn’t think that’s where Shouto is heading (or Midoriya).

I think it helps Shouto understand that forgiving doesn’t mean betraying his mother, just as using his fire side didn’t mean that. It’s his power, and he can use it how he sees fit - to assert himself.

Also, it’s a grim reminder to Bakugou that nobody owes him forgiveness (not that he asked for it - yet).

10. Bakugou - Endeavor

Bakugou is watching Endeavor this whole time. I think seeing this destroyed family clawing to put themselves together is the lesson he was meant to learn during this arc. Burnt bridges, broken chances, time lost and an empty victory.

I can’t wait to see when it will pay its dividend in Bakugou’s arc.

11. Touya

Everyone is screaming about it. Yes. I think it’s Dabi. Can’t wait for the fourth Todoroki child to come home (I hope it’s really happening).

Bonus:

Shouto making a dig at Midoriya’s overly helpful nature.

Well, there were plenty of opportunities....

#bnha #bnha 249 #todoroki shouto #bakugou katsuki #midoriya izuku #todoroki enji #todoroki fuyumi #todoroki natsuo #todoroki touya #todoroki family #wonder trio #endeavor #endeavor internship arc #bnha meta

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goldenkamuyhunting · 4 years

Note

Who do you think is the best leader in gk and why? personally I think that sofia is a leader who thinks first of these men and who knows how to put them in confidence and motivate them, but I find that Asirpa and Koito have a lot of potential as well what do you think ? how do you think these two are going to evolve ?

Well...

...in Golden Kamuy we see various types of leaders, some are the big ones everyone knows (thinks Tsurumi, Hijikata, Sofia), some are minor characters we forget along the way (think to Hidoro and his wife or Umakichi) while some are recurring or relevant characters but not important for their leadership (think Koito Heiji, Boutarou, Wakayama).

And then there are the characters who aren’t officially leaders but take leadership when needed (think Asirpa, Ogata, Sugimoto) or the characters that have a rank that allow them to lead others when needed but are also often under a ‘bigger leader’ (think Tsukishima, Koito, Kikuta).

It’s hard to make a judgement as for some we see a lot, while for some we see less, others are good on specific circumstances and not so good on other circumstances.

For example among the big ones I would say my favourite on a human level is Sofia, as she’s shown as a leader who doesn’t hide behind her men but protects them, both by fighting and by taking care of them, a leader who’s willing to avenge them but also to keep her head cold and remind herself of priorities (she doesn’t jump in and avenge Kiro when this could put her men in troubles). She’s a person who’s loved and apprecciated by her underlings and so far GK has never shown her lying to them.

However I’ve never seen her in planning situations.

I think she might be capable of doing a plan as it was her who planned the emperor’s murder but that was a single action for a small squad and not a real battle so I don’t know how she would fare in them.

Sure thing is on a human level Tsurumi is terrible. He is using and manipulating all his men, taking advantage of their weaknesses and mental problems and has no troubles in torturing people and killing innocent.

Hijikata is not that much better though. I think he cares about his men a bit more than Tsurumi, but that, when cornered, he would sacrifice them just the same. We saw him killing Chiyoko’s bodyguards who assumed he was their ally, we saw him using Ariko. Hijikata, if you want, is much more patriotic than Tsurumi, he cares about Japan where Tsurumi doesn’t, and maybe, despite being the ‘Demonic vice-commander’ he is not as bloodthirsty as him but he’s still pretty bad on the moral compass.

For real battles though, not only they’re also brave and competent on a personal level but they’re also very capable and cunning on the planning stage.

With equal resources, I’m not sure who of the two would win.

So, even though I would chose Sofia for her moral qualities as a commander, if she’s not capable as Hijikata and Tsurumi to win battles, people under her would still end up dead. Therefore my choice might be... not good enough.

Now... Asirpa and Koito.

Well, they’re still what I would call... leaders in training. They lack a lot of knowledge and battle experience to be effective leaders but they’re starting to show some potential.

Between the two I honestly prefer Asirpa, simply because she has shown by a longer time talent to lead people. She tried to make an unite group, she tried to trust the members of the group, she’s good at quick thinking, she had shown she could keep her cool (albeith not in all the situations) and she’s not so bad at planning. She has extensive knowledge of survival techniques and the territory in which she moves... and all this despite being VERY YOUNG.

For sure through, she still has a long way to go in understanding how things work, what ‘fighting’ means. She also was deeply shaken by what she discovered in Karafuto, losing faith in people and part of the confidence in herself. She wants to fight as an equal in the uncoming battle but she lacks the ability to murder coldly and the physical strenght to be a valid opponent who doesn’t need to murder to reduce another powerless, her only weapon those poisoned arrows (well, okay, she has knives too but they would be a lot less effective as they’re a close range weapon and, since she’s young, she has short range arms).

So Asirpa has a lot of potential she has shown us in the past but must recover part of it and grow further before she can be a leader of the same caliber of the ‘big three’.

As for Koito for a long time he hadn’t shown any inclination to be a leader to the point I thought we were forcing the issue on him.

Recently he had been showing more leadership ability than previously, he’s thinking before acting, he has shown himself being capable to reason things over and re-evalue his previous judgements, and he’s showing genuine care for his underlings as well as a more moral behaviour.

I still have to see him come up with a plan though, he managed to reach Tsukishima with his words, but then, as far as we know he got no info from him and has no real strategy in mind beyond observing and thinking things over.

He’s also still overconfident as he thinks Tsukishima can lean on him when he still doesn’t really have a ‘standing’ in the situation and he’s ignorant of most of it.

However he’s young and he’s showing progresses, he’s brave and he’s not bad as a fighter so, while maybe he’s not a natural born leader, there are plenty of possibilities if he survives the tiger’s curse he’ll become a good leader.

At least that’s what I think.

Thank you for your ask!

#Asirpa #Koito Otonoshin #Sofia #Tsurumi Tokushirou #Hijikata Toshizou #Tsukishima Hajime #Ariko Rikimatsu #Ogata Hyakunosuke #Sugimoto Saichi #Hidoro Tamotsu #Ask #Kikuta Mokutarou #Kusuda Umakichi

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lookwhatilost · 3 years

Video

youtube

I’m going to use this video as something of a case study to prove my point. Some things that are necessary to point about Ben Shapiro: he is an intelligent person, he speaks quickly, and he makes good quips. This makes him very good for the YouTube video “LiBtArD wReCkEd” compilations. He’s also very dishonest and he tends to misrepresent statistics. This is, of course, because Ben is a fascist and fascists don’t care if they’re telling the truth.

So, this is a thirteen minute video, and barely a fraction of what this student is laying out is going to get covered. The reason why Ben is letting him talk as much as he does in the beginning instead of interrupting him the moment he started explaining what socialism is is because he’s looking for something to quote back at him. Usually he’ll let his “debate” opponent talk until he finds something to do this with, and hit them hard on the point he stops them on.

Next we have this “workers or the government” thing Ben comes back at him with: he clearly said “workers owning the means of production”. He even said it twice, I believe, and Ben pretty much says “I know you’re talking about that, but if you said THE GOVERNMENT owning the means of production, that would be very ineffective” and then he rattles off on that. Even though this student never said anything about redistribution – he deliberately stepped away from that point at the very beginning. He acknowledged the fact that Ben will often talk about redistribution without actually engaging with the core points of socialism and, once more, he never said anything about government control and he never said anything about lack of free market enterprise. Socialism and free market enterprise aren’t in any way disparate. Market socialism is a thing.

Hypothetically, what you’d have to do here is let him talk on, and when he’s done, say “That was great and all, Ben, but I pretty clearly said worker owned means of production. Would you mind answering the actual question.” You can’t treat people like this in good faith. Ben knows exactly what he’s doing here with his talking points. No one brought up the Scandinavian countries. No one brought up government owned means of production. Nobody brought up free market enterprise. Nobody brought up being paid $100,000 to dig holes in the ground. No one brought up redistribution policies – unless you count the kid bringing it up to clarify that this wasn’t what he was talking about.

He then brings up that he’s an owner. Ben is smart enough to understand the basic principles of socialism, but he recognizes he isn’t capable of addressing any substantive criticism, so he’s deliberately pretending to misunderstand what this kid is saying. “Freely choose to alienate your labor” as if you have any choice in society these days. That’s like saying you freely choose to shit inside of a toilet. You don’t have many other options in regards to that. You can if you want to, but eventually, you’re going to get in trouble with it. Again, this is a deliberate misinterpretation. The workers owning the means of production gets brought up, and he spends the first two minutes of his response saying “if you meant the government owning it, that’s disastrous, and by the way, Norway is actually capitalist, and socialists won’t tell you this, but they actually have free market enterprise. And I’m a worker, so workers do actually own the means of production. Isn’t Bill Gates a worker?” Aren’t the tens of thousands of people under Bill Gates also workers? We’re talking about all workers, not just the one worker who also happens to own the company.

Him crafting rebuttals that actually take into consideration the tenants of socialism would, at least on some level, give the socialist credence to argue in a reality based sense. If a reactionary defends their belief system by attacking socialism in ways that are actually salient, you’ve set the socialist up to debate in a fact based argument, and that’s not what reactionaries dominate. Reactionaries dominate in a purview of recited dialogue trees, of snooty quips, and emotionally based arguments. This is where they thrive. They do not want to bring the argument into a reality based discussion.

In three minutes, he’s introduced so many stupid misconceptions that the student is going to spend more time arguing against the misconception than he will putting forth his own argument. He could spend a literal hour trying to correct the dumb, deliberate straw men that Ben Shapiro has thrown out here and never will he get a chance to substantively put forth any real advocacy for socialism.

To counter his “criticism” on labor theory of value: what if you spend a lot of time and money digging up diamonds from the ground? There are plenty of diamonds that get dug up that have absolutely no mechanical or industrial purpose. He’s saying “labor theory of value is dumb and bad because the market theory of value is what’s correct” without presenting any sort of argument to support that. Neither of these are holistic theories, both of them have valid places in society as lenses of interpretation, but this is not a substantive criticism. It is, in fact, very stupid.

It also helps that he has all the social capital in this situation. You never, ever want to challenge a reactionary when they have the podium and you don’t, and while they have the audience and you don’t. If they are even slightly intelligent, it is literally impossible for them to lose in the eye of their audience.

When the student brings up Mondragon: this is what reactionaries do. They define capitalism as freedom. Capitalism is when the owners of capital own the means of production and socialism is when the workers own the means of production. Not that we should take much that economic theorists say for granted on the account of most of them being cheerleaders for capitalism, but there are plenty of things that Ben laid forth that many economic theorists would disagree with. For one, he’s laid out the assertion that free markets are somehow absolute to capitalism and antithetical so socialism, that worker owned communes are an example of capitalism, and the degree to which government intervention is present in an economy is deterministic to whether or not it is socialism. Reactionaries operate in a delusory, fantastical land where the characteristics of capitalism are amorphous and capable of being shifted to suit one argument to another. In one instance, capitalism is the liberator of the working class, the distributor of technology, and in another instance, the very real consequences of capitalism are instead a product of corporatism, of government intervention, of “globalist” policy. Not true capitalism, mind, just other things.

And hey, guys, I’ve read the Communist Manifesto. Does anyone remember any segments in there where Karl Marx claimed the government needed to cram down and force people to participate in guild markets? Does anyone remember that part? I don’t.

Anyway, this is why you don’t argue with reactionaries when they have the podium and you don’t. The student got a bunch of time to speak where he laid out a very calm point, Ben got a bunch of time to speak where he then said a bunch of shit that had nothing to do with the kids argument to mislead the audience, and then deliberately interpreted what the kid was saying to present a straw man that the kid would have to correct. Now Ben has got the student in a position where he’s basically saying “I don’t disagree with anything, you’re basically saying capitalism. Worker owned means of production? That just means the people who own it also work at it, right? If Republicans did that, would you vote for them?” The kid is never going to be able to correct all this, not in a million years, and now when he speaks up, Ben is going to keep hammering this in, deliberately interrupting the kid and forcing him to answer misleading questions.

This is how you win a Ben Shapiro debate. This is how you “own libtards”. You get the mic, deliberately misinterpret what they say, you throw straw men at them and force them to defend or respond to that, both of which are impossible, and then, just to keep them off base, you continue to interrupt them when they respond to your point. It’s a very, very simple formula to follow if you are intellectually dishonest and a complete fucking asshole.

But yeah, the free market is not exclusively capitalist. For one, the free market does not have prescriptions. The free market is not a physical entity, it’s a concept that some people aspire to, unfettered trade. And free market socialism is a thing, yet again.

At around the 8 minute mark of this video, the student makes a bit of a mistake because he’s not really harping in on the public vs private ownership of the means of production, but Ben Shapiro’s line there is completely irrelevant: “So companies shouldn’t be able to have investors?” This is a tangential question. This would be like him talking about socialized ownership, and Ben leans into the microphone and asks “well, who’s the CEO then, dummy?” This is to say, it’s tangentially related, but it has nothing to do with the thrust of the argument.

His counter to the pencil factory example is pathetic. No one mentioned doctors. No one mentioned everyone in society getting paid the same amount. This has nothing to do with doctors and pencil factory workers, this has to do with pencil factory workers and pencil factory owners. He thinks this is a “gotcha” but it literally has nothing to do with the argument the kid is making.

It is so, so difficult to maintain your composure when you are around a hostile audience. At least if you were on stage, you would have the positional authority over them. You’d be in a place where, at least physically, you are given credence by the architecture of the room – standing atop something, having the lights on you, being behind the podium, having unfettered control over the mic. These things can lend you a lot of confidence. But if you’re just standing there and someone else is holding your microphone, and the audience claps whenever Ben Shapiro says something… Ugh.

But it comes as no surprise that Ben sees capital and labor as one and the same, because he’s a fucking capitalist and he’s a piece of shit. To him, people and money are just interchangeable cogs in a larger machine that he benefits from, and that is how most capital owners see them. After all, labor is a resource, and capital is a resource, and that’s all you look at them as – resources – there isn’t much of a difference between the two. Now, of course, you’ve got a few more ~libcucky~ takes on it, like how humans are human beings, and we have rights, and should be entitled to happiness and respect, but that doesn’t really factor into that sort of economic, capitalist worldview.

To summarize, this juxtaposition, “you’re a socialist, I’m a free marketer. You’re talking about things that are voluntary, which means they can’t be socialist, because socialism is authoritarianism”, this is the dichotomy that he’s been trying to reenforce this entire conversation. I don’t know how deliberately he’s doing this, but it’s very effective. In the mind of every audience member right now, what Ben is doing right here is destroying this “libtard” right now by saying “Heh, idiot. You think that’s socialism? How can that be socialism if there’s freedom involved?' and that’s basically what he’s going for here. But when the kid gets flustered and struggles to make a coherent point in the face of all this, Ben can just shit on him. And then the people who edit this shit put in airhorns and laugh tracks so the smooth brained dipshits watching this unironically know when to clap and bark like seals at the libcuck getting owned. It’s pathetic and it’s not a real argument. Fin.

#shit i do while waiting for my boyfriend to wake up or something

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edie-k · 3 years

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Conflict - R/Hr Fanfic

Today, I mentioned my dislike for one Ginny Weasley on the Romione Discord and I was met with polite side eyes. It made me remember this fanfic I wrote in 2004 (pre-HBP) in which I challenged myself to write a story where I liked Ginny but kept her fairly in character. Looking back at it 16 years later, I see all the cringe but I did accomplish my goal so I thought I would share.

Obviously, this is AU after OOTP.

Title: Conflict

Pairing: Romione

Rating: PG (I think I say hell once or twice, which is par for any conversation with me)

Disclaimer: Characters aren’t mine.

Ginny Weasley was a woman of divided allegiances. Her heart belonged to two separate factions: institutions that had been in place since almost the beginning of time. As Ginny Weasley was a loyal person, she had a difficult time choosing a position when these two sides went to war with one another.

You see, Ginny Weasley was a girl and a sister.

Of course, one may think these two went hand in hand. In order to be a sister, you must be a girl. True as that was, there were so many instances when it was difficult to be both a girl and a sister.

Ginny had six brothers and she loved them all dearly. Bill and Charlie regarded her as all significantly older brothers regard their younger sisters - she was innocent and young and could do no wrong. Apparently, Bill and Charlie did not remember much of the girls they knew at fifteen.

Percy… She was a bit reluctant to talk about Percy. She could never truly hate him, not even if she wanted to. When Bill and Charlie went to Hogwarts, Percy took on the role of the eldest child. He treated her as though she was his personal responsibility. Part of her wished he would return to the family just so she could drive him mad again.

Ginny’s relationship with the twins changed constantly. Some days they wanted Ginny as their protégé. Other days they wanted her out of the way. She was excellent in both carrying out their plans and schemes or as their unwilling test subject. Beyond that, she was a bit of a pest in their eyes. They had each other and did not see a need for anyone else’s company.

None of her five oldest brothers posed any problems when it became obvious she was a girl. They allowed guilt-free participation in girly activities, like gossiping and giggling with other females her age.

Ron was the one who always brought conflict and strife when it came to her roles as a girl and a sister. Ron was not her “favorite” brother or the one she “loved the most”. None of her brothers were. That was just not how the concept of family worked. Ron was her closest brother, and they had grown closer this summer.

The two of them spent the first month of holiday at the Burrow where the only real company was each other and it had been very enjoyable. Ron really seemed to have matured the past year, and it showed in their conversations. Ron actually listened to her, even when she could tell he thought she was being ridiculous or nosy. She found they could talk about almost anything. Ron even managed to muster up the maturity to listen to (some) details about her past and present relationships, although every time, he, not so subtly, hinted her perfect match had messy black hair and glasses.

Yes, some people may think that having one’s brother as a close friend is a bit pathetic, but something her mother said long ago stuck with her. Her brothers, especially Ron, were the only ones who knew what it was like to grow up a Weasley; who knew the holidays and memorable events the family shared. There were things her friends could never understand and the same went for Ron’s friends. They could not know what it was like to be poor or grow up in the magical world or as the babies of a large family. For that reason, Ginny was not ashamed of her friendship with her brother. He was a great person and even when Ginny was angry with him, she always found herself rooting for Ron. Therein lay the first half of the problem.

Not all areas of Ginny’s femaleness conflicted with her sisterly obligations. Ginny had plenty of friends who were girls. In fact, all of her roommates could be counted among her girl friends. They were not the pour-your-heart-out-to-and-tell-all-your-hopes-and-fears friends. No, they were more of the stay-up-late-giggling-about-boys-and-gossip friends. Yes, Ginny recognized that giggling and gossiping were not the most sophisticated of activities, but she enjoyed the frivolous time she spent with these girls.

There was a girl who was slowly becoming the heart-and-soul sort of friend. Hermione Granger listened in the same genuine way as Ron. She was trustworthy and faithful. They could discuss the serious matters in life, as well as the more entertaining aspects. Unfortunately, Hermione Granger was the other half of her problem.

Ron and Hermione were best friends. Of course, in saying that she rolled her eyes or raised a suggestive brow. Because while Ron and Hermione were just friends, neither of them actually felt that way, and more and more people caught onto that fact, Ginny especially, because she was the only one who had managed to coax confessions from them both.

Hermione already confessed the prior summer at Grimmauld Place that she possessed feelings beyond friendship for Ron. Consequently, Ginny made it her goal to obtain the same confession from Ron that summer. It was not half the challenge Ginny originally anticipated. Two weeks into holiday, she spoke a few carefully chosen words about Hermione’s impending arrival and Ron caved. Irritatingly enough, neither one of them made a move to step past the line between romance and friendship.

With the stalling of their relationship, the bickering remained. Harry remained distant and removed from the whole situation, designating her as the go-between of choice. This brought out Ginny’s two personalities, Ginny the Sister and Ginny the Girl. It actually got to the point where Ginny could visualize miniature versions of herself perched on each shoulder. Sister Ginny wore a Weasley jumper with jeans and her hair was such a bright red that it could not exist in nature. Girl Ginny wore way too much pink and an extraordinary amount of makeup. And the two of them never agreed on anything. They bickered almost as much as Ron and Hermione. What made it even more difficult was they both always had valid points.

So when Hermione exploded into the fifth year girls’ dorm, where Ginny sat on her bed, organizing pictures in her album, she was not surprised to see Sister Ginny appear on her left shoulder and Girl Ginny on the right to see what the problem was.

“Oh Ginny, sometimes he is just so awful!” Hermione cried, flopping on Ginny’s bed.

“What did he do?” demanded Girl Ginny.

“What did you do?” hissed Sister Ginny.

“What happened?” Ginny sighed. It was a beautiful October afternoon and the last thing she wanted to do was discuss her brother with Hermione and her two personalities.

“Well, Ron and Harry came down with their brooms and I said, ‘Ron, I thought you were going to work on your Potions essay with me this afternoon.’”

“She nagged him about that yesterday!” Sister Ginny huffed.

“Encouraged!” insisted Girl Ginny.

“Oh please. Are you telling me that Hermione doesn’t nag?” asked Sister Ginny.

“Didn’t you mention that to him yesterday?” asked Ginny.

“Well, yes.”

“Ha!” said Sister Ginny.

“Only because I - well, because I care about him. I want him to do well,” said Hermione.

“See, she means well!” said Girl Ginny.

“It’s because he’s much smarter than he gives himself credit for and if he just worked a little harder…”

“Well, I guess I have to agree with her there,” conceded Sister Ginny. “He is smart.”

“For a man,” agreed Girl Ginny.

“And then, he says, ‘Don’t nag!’ I told him that I, of course, AM NOT nagging and -”

“Hermione, might I ask why you’re so upset over an argument that seems so typical for the two of you?” Ginny prodded.

“Oh, good point! Now we’re getting somewhere!” said Sister Ginny.

“It’s not very nice to corner someone,” Girl Ginny huffed, crossing her arms.

“I told you; I just want Ron to do well!” insisted Hermione, but her pink stained cheeks told a different story.

“Ooo, she’s got a secret!” squealed Girl Ginny.

“Must you squeal?” asked Sister Ginny.

“Hermione,” Ginny prodded, her voice tinted with disbelief.

“Well,” she said, sitting up and primly straightening her skirt. “He just made a comment yesterday and I thought that - I obviously took it out of context.”

“What did he say?” asked Ginny.

“It’s not - it’s not a big deal. In fact, I obviously made a big deal out of something that was not.”

All three Ginnys patiently stared at her.

“Well, yesterday, he told me that he thought that I looked nice,” she said quietly.

“Good going Ron!” Sister Ginny said.

“What, she doesn’t look nice everyday?” asked Girl Ginny.

“And….” Hermione stopped and blushed.

“Hermione,” Ginny prompted.

“Well, yesterday when we were playing chess, he said it was sort of nice to spend time together by ourselves and - he kind of put his hand over mine. Of course, before I could respond, Dean and Seamus came in needing Ron to settle some sort of Quidditch argument. So I made some excuse and left.”

“She fled the scene?” asked Girl Ginny.

“See, she was in the wrong!” declared Sister Ginny triumphantly.

“Maybe his hand was clammy,” Girl Ginny said.

“Hermione, it sounds like he was complimenting you and trying to show some more than friendly affection. I don’t think my brother would do that unless he was attracted to you.”

“Ginny, I don’t know,” Hermione said as she rose from the bed. She began to pace back and forth. “All I wanted was to - to spend some time with him alone again this afternoon and so that’s why I pressed the issue, I guess.”

“Oh Hermione,” said Sister Ginny. “Homework is not the way to seduce my brother.”

“Food works well for seduction,” piped up Girl Ginny. “Or cleavage.”

“Okay, I can handle some things but let’s all please remember that this is our brother and I would prefer we never have the word seduction be uttered in the same sentence as his name,” Ginny told her two alter egos.

“Hermione, I bet if you just told Ron you wanted to spend time with him, he would happily oblige,” Ginny suggested gently.

“Hmph,” scoffed Hermione. “Why would he want to spend time with me?”

“If you want to bang your head against that wall, we’ll hang on tight,” suggested Sister Ginny.

“Because he just told you he does!” Ginny exclaimed.

“He’s just… making conversation,” Hermione said. Ginny glared at her. “Oh Ginny, I wish I knew for sure!” Hermione sank back into bed and sighed.

“I wish I could just tell her that Ron told me and this whole damn thing could be over with,” Ginny thought.

“Well of course you can’t,” said Girl Ginny. “And neither can I. But you can!” She pointed directly at Sister Ginny.

“What!” said Sister Ginny.

“What!” said Ginny.

“What?” asked Hermione.

“Just - just hang on a second. I have to think for just one second,” Ginny replied. “Now, what the hell are you talking about?”

“Listen. We can’t tell Ron Hermione likes him because Hermione is our friend and you cannot betray a friend. We all agree on that, right?” said Girl Ginny.

“Right,” confirmed Sister Ginny, looking a touch confused. Ginny herself was a bit confused as to where this was going.

“Now, you’re his sister. That means you can’t allow anyone to put him down or humiliate him or anything like that, right?”

“Correct,” answered Sister Ginny.

“But as his sister, it’s your job to embarrass and annoy him!”

“So,” Sister Ginny started out slowly. “I can tell Hermione that Ron likes her and it’s not really breaking a promise to Ron -”

“It’s being a little sister!” finished Girl Ginny.

“Wait a minute!” cried Ginny.

“This is perfect! I can’t even feel guilty because this is helping Ron. He can’t even be mad!” Sister Ginny exclaimed.

“Shouldn’t we stay out of this whole thing?” Ginny asked weakly. She needed to regain control before she was completely overruled.

“NO!” shouted Sister Ginny and Girl Ginny.

“Well, at least you two are getting along,” Ginny sighed.

“This has gone on long enough. It’s time for some serious interloping,” confirmed Sister Ginny.

“Just tell her. She’s your best friend and you should not keep secrets from your best friend,” pushed Girl Ginny.

“Don’t you want to do what’s best for your brother?” Sister Ginny asked.

“Ginny? What should I do?” asked Hermione.

“Tell her!” Girl Ginny urged.

“Say it!” pressured Sister Ginny.

“FINE!” yelled Ginny. Hermione jumped two feet in the air at sound of Ginny’s outburst. Ginny took little notice as she launched into her speech. “Hermione, Ron likes you. He told me himself over the summer holiday. He wants to tell you but he was just too scared to say it so I helped him develop a plan. He was going to try and slowly change your relationship. That should explain the decline in the rows and the increase in compliments and touching. Ron was going to see how you responded, and if he thought you liked him too, he was going to tell you on Halloween.”

“Halloween?” said Girl Ginny, wrinkling her nose. “Not very romantic, is it?”

“At least he was going to make a move,” said Sister Ginny.

Hermione was looking at her with wide eyes and a slight smile. “Really? He thought up a plan? It’s more than I managed.”

“Well, I did help him come up with it,” Ginny reminded her. “Anyway, with Halloween right around the corner, your bolting away from him last night probably made him doubt all the other responses he had been getting.”

“Which explains the fight earlier,” finished Hermione. “Oh Ginny, thank you! I’m sure it was hard for you to give up something Ron told you in confidence.”

“Well, it’s for a good cause,” Ginny said. “You are going to fix this, right?”

“Oh yes! I’ll - I’ll - I’ll meet him down at the Quidditch pitch right now,” she declared, standing up from the bed with a look of determination on her face. Suddenly, she deflated slightly. “Oh, but Harry will be there.”

Ginny chuckled. “I’m sure Harry will leave you alone.”

Hermione looked at her. “Does he know as well?”

Ginny was not sure if Ron had told Harry or not but Harry’s increased eye rolling and smirks in Ron and Hermione’s direction seemed to indicate he figured it out. “I’m not sure,” Ginny shrugged. “I’m sure he’ll leave you alone. He’s not as nosy as Ron.”

Hermione smiled as she glanced in the mirror, smoothing her skirt repeatedly. “Do I look okay?” she asked as she ran her fingers through her hair. “I mean, obviously my hair is a fright but it hasn’t picked up anything between here and the common room, has it? No stray quills, right?”

Ginny laughed. “No, your hair is fine.” While her friend’s hair was bushy, it wasn’t quite the disaster Hermione imagined it to be.

“Well, I suppose it’s okay,” she said, still smoothing it down. “It’s not as if Ron likes me for my looks.”

“Oh Merlin. She either has horrible self-confidence or she is completely blinded by love,” said Girl Ginny.

“Even I am not that delusional about my brother,” said Sister Ginny.

Ginny snorted. “Hermione, you do realize Ron is a teenage boy? I mean, yeah, he likes loads of noble things about you, but he definitely likes looking at you. Believe me; I’ve heard all about it. His eyes even glaze over when he stares at you, and you know he’s picturing you naked.”

“GINNY!” exclaimed an outraged Hermione, face burning red.

“Isn’t that a little too much information for you?” Girl Ginny asked Sister Ginny.

“I have five other brothers. I figured out a long while ago what they think about the majority of the time.”

Ginny ignored the two and turned back to Hermione. “Go on Hermione! You’re a beautiful girl; just go out there and tell Ron how you feel. While you’re at it, make him forget I was the one who let his secret slip.”

Hermione giggled. “I’ll try,” she said as she hurried out the door. Ginny sank back onto her bed.

“I hope I did the right thing,” she muttered aloud. “I feel a bit guilty for giving Ron away like that.”

“It had to be done,” Girl Ginny reassured her. “The arguments, the constant need for your advice…”

“It wasn’t good for your sanity,” finished Sister Ginny.

“My sanity? I’m in my room, talking to two aspects of my personality that have taken on distinctive voices and physical forms. Ron and Hermione were not the ones causing me to question my sanity. So if you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll go down to the common room and fill Harry in when he comes back up,” Ginny finished, standing up and walking towards the door.

“Harry?” Girl Ginny asked excitedly. “Is that open for discussion again?”

“You cannot date your brother’s best friend!” insisted Sister Ginny.

“And why the hell not?” asked Girl Ginny.

“Oh Merlin.”

#au romione #pre hbp #romione

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consummate-deviant · 4 years

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Why I Think Entrapdak is Pretty Neat

Hello! How’s the family? Cat treating you okay? Isn’t autumn just...like… the best? Anyway, so, my Hordak thing turned out to be kinda popular. I’m flattered, really! If there are people out there willing to reward me writing stuff with positive attention, then I’ll just have to write more stuff. I mentioned back then that I had a similar write-up about Entrapdak, as a ship… and there seemed to be a little bit of interest in hearing my thoughts on the subject. So, here ya go! I’m Lancer, by the by. Not a lot to me. I’m a guy who likes things, and who enjoys articulating why I like things. I don’t really do it for any particular reason. I’m not trying to pwn haters or convert nonbelievers… As you may recall, though you might have missed it (I tend to be very lowkey and subtle about it), I’m not your dad and have no interest in the position… unless it pays. I just feel like the internet doesn’t have enough positivity, and the best way to remedy that is to produce some of my own.

As fate would have it, I like Entrapdak. A lot. I don’t ship often... a relationship has to really sync with me on a profound level to make me invested enough in it to want to write about it, but this one did it. Now, I’m not really promising originality here. As someone who explores the tag frequently, I know that plenty have expressed feelings I’m going to share with you here, many of whom did so better than I ever could, but sometimes you want to share your perspective, even if others whose opinions mirror yours have done so in the past, y’know? It’s a human thing! The relationship is a little… polarizing with people, though, I’ve noticed. A lot of people hate it, and have various reasons for doing so. Again, I ain’t here to convert you if you feel that way, but I did feel like the best way to kick things off would be to look at some of the major reasons other people tend to react to the ship like it were horseradish on a hotdog, and why those reasons don’t really bother me. A part that I, in my infinite wit and adorned in my clever pants, have dubbed:

Part 1: Entrapdak- Why I don’t hate it

***EXAMPLE THE FIRST: “HORDAK, THE AGED”***

By now it’s fairly well known that Entrapta is somewhere in the range of her late 20s to her early 30s. Now a few people refuse to accept this, citing her behavior as childish and accusing the creators of lying. I’m not really going to engage with that perspective. Hordak and Entrapta have appeared together in creator works and concept art dating back to 2017. Their interactions were intended to be a part of the show from the early stages of its creation. If you have so little faith in Noelle that you believe she planned for her story to have a romantic-coded relationship between an adult and a minor… I don’t know what I can even tell you.

Rather, the perspective that interests me comes from people who accept Entrapta being in the stated age range, but who still find themselves repulsed by the relationship on grounds of age. ‘She’s an adult, sure, but how old is Hordak? He could be in his fifties or sixties, or even be hundreds of years old.’ This point of view is at least interesting to think about, so I reckon I can share why this deal-breaker for some doesn’t really bother me.

To begin, assigning human ages, and the stigmas thereof, to an alien bat clone just feels strange to me. The Horde doesn’t seem like the type of place to want to waste resources on alien bat clone daycare... was Hordak born as an infant, or was he artificially developed to his current age? If it’s the later, do we consider him 0 years old at the moment of his birth, or already an adult? We don’t have a timescale provided to accurately determine his age, so investing too heavily in trying to learn it seems somewhat tedious and a lotofwhat pointless.

If we do, though, my next question is: what is the element of an age gap that makes it inappropriate? Now, that’s a personal question, of course. Morality isn’t something that really lends itself to objective declarations, but there are a few answers you can offer. ‘Morality’ isn’t really the operative word here anyway... since it has more to do with taste, though this particular taste does come from what you believe… Y’know, it just occurred to me, but… People who believe that their taste in ships makes them morally superior, and that ships they dislike are supported by moral degenerates, seem like people who just aren’t a lot of fun to be around or think about… but that’s a digression, I’ll refocus my thought-lazer.

For me, with age gaps, it comes down to two things:

1.) Both parties being on the same side of the child/adult divide- I should hope this one sounds reasonable, right? The ships that really powdered sugar my poptart are the ones that feel like equal partnerships, and relationships that try to cross this line tend to not be especially equal.

2.) What stage in their lives they’re at- It’s difficult for even a wizard of self expression like myself to state plainly, so let me give an example: If I saw a 25 year old dating a 50 year old, the 25-year age difference isn’t so much what makes it off-putting, but rather what those 25 years represent in this circumstance. At age 25, people are still struggling to find themselves. They’re adjusting to independence, gaining an identity, maybe finally finding an entryway into a career path that suits them. By 50, a person is already established. They likely have a career, they have a firm grasp on who they are as a person and what they want to be, and they almost certainly have a greater degree of financial stability. Thus, if they enter a relationship, which is supposed to be equal, it doesn’t feel that way. One side has a stronger position than the other, and over time that could become power they use to sway and control the other.

I don’t see Hordak as being in a more advanced stage of his life than Entrapta. They seem to be at about the same place when it comes to self actualization. In fact, Hordak is a bit more arrested in his development than Entrapta is, simply because he’s never really thought to question what would make him happy or why. Hordak rules the Horde, which Entrapta is a part of… which could lead to an imbalance, if Entrapta, like, could be bothered to give even the slightest toss of a salad about status or promotion, but she doesn’t. Neither of them holds higher ground over the other in a way that’s significant to the two of them. In terms of life stage, they’re perfectly equal. The fact that Hordak might be physically older than her by some unspecified amount is, by itself, completely arbitrary and meaningless.

*** EXAMPLE THE SECOND: ‘ENTRAPTA, THE MANIPULATED’***

A second, rarer discussion point for those who are unfond of the ship is that it’s unhealthy, on the grounds that Hordak is manipulating Entrapta. Taking advantage of her naivete to coerce her into aiding the forces of darkness despite not caring for her at all. Now, as I mentioned above, I ain’t writing this to change anyone’s mind. If you’re reading this, and this is a viewpoint you hold as valid, do what makes you happy, homie. That said, the issue I ran into when I tried to think of why this perspective didn’t bother me was a vexing one. See, I like to fancy myself an empathetic dude. I try really hard to consider other people’s perspectives when I have a disagreement, and avoid judging anyone too harshly if I don’t know their full circumstance… but even with all that alleged empathy at my disposal… this hot take about Entrapdak is… kinda completely incomprehensible to me? Like, I have no idea how anyone could have seen the interactions between the two and draw this conclusion?

Part of it has to do with how Entrapta is written. She’s both ADHD-coded and Autistic-coded, and there’s a tendency to perceive the behaviors of both those groups of people as childish. People who see that ‘childishness’ extrapolate it further to a general innocence/stupidity, and assume the character in question lacks the faculties to engage with other people evenly.

Look, I don’t have ADHD, but I am super, duper autistic. Having lived with myself for a lifetime, let me just say, I kind of get why this happens. We get extremely focused on our hobbies, we’re bad at reading social nuance, we have very simplistic body language, we tend to express our emotions in a very blunt and straightforward manner… I get that, for most neurotypical people, the only other group they ever encounter who shares these traits are children, and thus they tend to subconsciously connect the two. I understand why it happens, even if I do find it awkward and condescending.

…but y’all are underestimating Entrapta. She’s not helping the horde because she’s helpless and being manipulated. She’s helping them because she has no moral compass to speak of, and will eagerly assist with any scientific endeavor she finds interesting, without care for its ultimate application. In season 1, she knew well in advance the damage her actions would have on the world, and followed through with them anyway. In season 2, she happily assisted in the creation of a portal, knowing full-well that its opening would invite a colonialist military force into the vicinity of her home, and only withdrew her support for the project… hesitantly… when it became clearly evident that activating it would eradicate all life on the planet. At no point is she ever acting while the applications of her actions are being hidden from her by Hordak. She’s not an innocent child.

The thing is, though, I agree that Entrapta would be incredibly easy to manipulate… if someone knew what buttons to push. She is very self conscious of how difficult it is for her to form lasting emotional bonds with other people. She tends to blame herself when she feels she’s been abandoned by others, and feels that her inability make friends is a sign that she’s a defective failure. If someone wanted to manipulate her into doing something she didn’t want to do, they would probably find success if they offered her friendship and then fed into that self loathing, emotionally abusing her by implying that she was indeed a failure, and would be abandoned again if she didn’t obey. That is totally something someone could do to her, and I would absolutely not enjoy any ship between her and such a person. Good thing Hordak… y’know… did literally the opposite of that.

***EXAMPLE THE THIRD- “ENTRAPDAK, THE PLATONIC”***

A nice short one to balance out the longer examples above. Quite a few people just deny that there are romantic implications behind their interactions, and see them as a friendship instead. I do disagree with this assessment, but honestly, even if it were true, this would still be my favorite relationship in the show.

Something that has always boggled me about people on the internet is their tendency to treat friendship like some ‘equal but opposite’ force to romance… a status independent of a romantic relationship rather than literally the foundation upon which all successful romantic relationships are built. Genuine friendship is a beautiful, underrated thing, and acting as though the bond of friendship is inherently less worthy of appreciation than romance is silly.

So… yeah… platonic Entrapdak… I disagree, but even if you’re right and I’m wrong in the end… I’ll be pretty okay with that, too. Movin’ on.

***EXAMPLE THE FOURTH: ‘HORDAK, THE IRREDEEMABLE’***

For the last dealbreaker I want to consider today, I figured I’d bring one up that’s a lot like the platonic argument, in my eyes: that an evil guy like Hordak can’t change his ways, even with the power of love. Thus, the relationship is bust, because what’s the point of of a villain x heroine ship, if not to redeem the villain?

...

So, recently I wrote this whole big thing about Hordak, where I argued in favor of his redemption, and why I felt like that was where the story is going… I stand by the opinions expressed there, but I’d like to ask any who read that to push it out of their mind for now. Hordak’s redemptive potential is largely irrelevant to my feelings about this ship. When it comes to entrapdak, when confronted by the possibility that Hordak may remain a villain, my reaction is the most intense and passionate of shrugs.

...I just don’t care.

There’s a tendency to assume that redemption is the aim of a villain ship, and I suppose I can see why that is. There’s a bit of a stereotype for female fantasies where they fix a broken man with the power of their love, and when people ship villains, that’s probably the first assumption an outsider will make as to why. I cannot speak for others, but that’s just not a factor in the appeal of their relationship for me.

When you allow yourself to be vulnerable in front of another person, you open yourself up to the risk of being completely devastated by them. When you show vulnerability to another person, and they accept that side of you, and express vulnerability of their own, you establish a genuine connection with that person, and those connections are kiiiinda one of the most important elements of the human experience.

That Hordak was a villain who did terrible things was always kinda aside from the point of what really makes Entrapta and Hordak such a bewitching pairing for me. It was always the serendipity of two people who privately believe they’re alone in the world realizing they resonate with one another in a meaningful way. Resonance is the appeal of Entrapdak, not redemption.

I tend to hope for Hordak’s redemption, I won’t lie, and I do think it’s likely, but I don’t think it’ll be love that redeems him, nor would I want it to be… not entirely. I like seeing flawed, morally dark/gray characters overcome the obstacles that deny them self actualization, and watching them grow as a result.

That’s got nothing to do with him and Entrapta, though. Whether the story ends with the pair of them riding into the sunset to collect data and invent shit, or with the pair of them leading the Horde in the name of galactic conquest and terror… I’m down with it either way, dude. In the context of the ship, I care that Hordak is an evil overlord… about as much as Entrapta does.

However, pseudo-responding to naysayers is a bit negative for my tastes. I prefer to focus on the positive in life, like the smell of soil and rain on a crisp autumn morning. I… I’m in a very fall mood, okay? Sue me. Y’know what else I like, though? Entrapdak. Lemme wax poetic for a bit longer, and I’ll tell ya why this ship is, like, the peanut butter on my blueberry pancakes.

Part 2: Entrapdak- Why I love it

So, uh… If brevity is the soul of wit, I may be something of an idiot. I’ve made my peace with that, of course, I’m just sayin’: I’m many things, but I’m not pithy. If someone were to put a gun to my head, though, and demand that I describe the shipping aesthetic I love the most in life in a single sentence… I would probably respond with this:

My favorite ships are ones in which awkward, lonely people bond over a shared fondness of nerdy hobbies.

Now, that sounds super narrow, and it totally is… I don’t get new OTPs very often… but hearing that, I imagine you can see why Entrapta and Hordak immediately appealed to me. It goes a bit deeper, though.

The bonds between people are a major part of the story of She-ra. We see how characters are changed, positively or negatively, by the connection they share with other characters. Just like in real life, these connections are a mixed bag; some of them are positive, and some are negative. Some characters, like Hordak and Catra, resonate strongly with one another, but the resonance is a negative force in their lives, which draws them deeper into darkness, and for many of the characters in the show, their character journeys are about breaking free of such toxic relationships and forming healthy bonds.

The bond between Entrapta and Hordak is unique among all bonds in the show though, in that it is the only one that isn’t mixed. It is an unambiguous positive influence on both of them. Let’s break it down a little bit.

***ENTRAPTA***

Entrapta, at first, seems like the kind of person who isn’t super connected to other people. At the princess prom, she mentions that she finds observing the relationships of others far more fascinating than forging relationships of her own, and she spends much of the early seasons working alone with her robots, buried in whichever task happens to have her interest in that particular moment.

Later seasons gradually tear this facade away, though, and reveal a fairly tragic truth hidden behind it. I mentioned above that she internalizes her failures to form lasting bonds with other people, and is genuinely distraught about it. When she’s exiled to Beast Island, her frustration at her inability to make friends was the driving force that chained her there, even more so than her love of technology and invention. It becomes clear that, to some degree, she buries herself in her work to escape her feelings of inadequacy.

This is a relatable and sad thing to realize about a character, but it also has the unpleasant effect of making events that were played for laughs earlier in the show somewhat tragic in hindsight. Seeing the way she interacted with the Princess Alliance, you could see how she would have come to a very soul-crushing misunderstanding: That, among other people, she was someone whose presence was… tolerated- at times even appreciated- but never seemed to be enjoyed by anyone. She was the friend everyone sought out when they needed her help, then forgot about.

This wasn’t the case, of course, and clarifying her value to the group was what ultimately helped her escape the vines in season four, but from her perspective that was how it appeared, and likely how all her previous interactions with other people had gone before that. Some people complained about how easily Entrapta was able to believe that the princesses had left her behind, but it’s the same reason Hordak was so easily able to believe that Entrapta had betrayed him: In the eyes of someone who hates themselves, it’s only a matter of time before others abandon them.

That said, it also goes to show why Hordak became so special to her. For the first time in her life, she had a friend who joined her in her workspace, instead of leaving her to a task after giving it to her. Someone able to converse equally with her about subjects she was interested in. The elements of herself that made it so difficult to draw closer to others were the very same elements that caused her to get so close to him. Her intelligence and hyper-focus upon science made her the intellectual peer of a space-faring alien, her lack of awareness of social subtext helped her to see beyond the barriers he put up to keep other people away, and her past experience with failure and rejection helped her to empathize with his pain.

It’s perfectly pleasant to find someone who accepts you and enjoys your company despite not understanding the idiosyncratic elements of your personality, but that pales in comparison to how it feels to find someone who accepts you precisely because they understand those elements.

***Hordak***

Hordak didn’t really have ‘peers’, per se, for most of his life. We don’t know the level of autonomy the average clone has in the Horde… but I feel comfortable assuming that the level isn’t very high. Thus, his circumstance differs quite a bit from Entrapta, in that, rather than trying to form bonds with others, and feeling like he failed, for much of his life he never had the chance to try to form them in the first place.

He is, at first, deeply dismissive of the people of Etheria, whom he regards as primitives who are beneath his acknowledgment. Much of this, as with much of everything that dictates how he treats others, is born of projection… dude has some pretty major self-loathing issues… but regardless of cause, it results in a kind of self-imposed isolation.

Unlike Entrapta, who knew, on some level, that her lack of ability to bond with others troubled her, Hordak kept most of his emotions bottled up... Locked so deeply inside him that not even he really bothered to try to understand them. That was where her disposition and his meshed perfectly for him. Because Entrapta was defined by her curiosity, and her lackluster awareness of his attempts to keep her at bay, she was able to metaphorically crack him open, forcing him to vocalize and confront his own motivations.

Sometimes you need someone to just… like... grab you with their hair, push you up against a vat, and demand you tell them everything, man.

I’ve already discussed Hordak fairly extensively in my first blog blurb thingy, and while I repeat myself by accident quite frequently, I’m loathe to repeat myself on purpose. I just wanted to take the opportunity to marvel at how well their personalities fit together. Perhaps I’m just high on this feeling: I’ve never actually shipped something a creator so clearly intended to be there, before!

*** In Conclusion***

We’re all born imperfect, and we’ll all die imperfect. Our imperfections are similar, but never uniform. Each of us bears jagged cuts and missing sections of many shapes and sizes. Humans are social creatures, and it’s in our nature to constantly seek one another out. We keep trying to find people who are strong where we are weak; someone whose missing sections happen to lie in a pattern compatible with our own.

We’ll resonate with many in our lifetime. Sometimes, the melody will be harmonious, and guide all involved higher and higher into the light of self actualization. Other times the sound will be discordant, and pull us down into self destruction. Sadly, from our perspective in the middle, it will always be difficult to tell which is which.

I love the relationship between Entrapta and Hordak because it’s a dynamic that elevates both of them. Not in a moral sense, but in a personal one. In a series defined by toxic and uneven relationships that wear others down and tear them apart, these two have a dynamic that shelters and reinforces them. Giving them an opportunity to be glad they were born the way they were, instead of cursing their misfortune.

It’s the kind of relationship that makes me muse about how imperfection really is beautiful. It’s because we’re imperfect that we never stop trying to harmonize with other people, and if there’s one theme I can’t help but feel that the show itself is building toward, it’s this: Two in harmony surpass one in perfection.

*** So hey! Thanks for reading all of that! Sorry if it was a bit of a mess. Saying nothing with a great deal of words is a talent of mine, but I really do love these guys, and if you love ‘em too, don’t let anyone grind you down over it!

Let me know if you enjoyed my work, though! If so, I’ll be happy to share my thoughts on other things, since I’ll be stuck with this series on my brain until I see how my new obsession plays out. In the meantime take care of yourselves! If you do heavy lifting, make sure to do so with your knees, not your back. Tell someone who makes your day a little brighter how much you appreciate them. Then, take some time to savor the greatest of all winter beverages: hot apple cider.

#entrapdak #liking things #Entrapta #hordak #you try killing 8 hours at this job

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