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nettlestonenell · 4 years

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Armie Hammer wants a sequel to The Man From U.N.C.L.E.—shouldn’t you?

This post is a long time in coming, Gentle Readers and @jammeke, but now, though it might be here, before your very eyes, to think it will be well-laid out would be a mistake. It’s set to be just about as messy as Ilya’s misplaced loyalties and murky motivations.

How dare!

I probably first watched this film well over a year ago (courtesy @jammeke posting things about it). I used Sling OnDemand (I think on TNT). In the ensuing viewings I also watched it in that way, but as I was sitting down for a fourth(?) viewing, it kept coming to me that I was tired of watching it with commercials I couldn’t skip, and I had a sneaking suspicion that it had been edited for time and I was missing out on scenes. [pointless aside: I was also watching the film in chunks, and never as a whole]

Where is she now? What’s the time stamp? How far along did she get? Are you shagging the hotel hostess yet?

So, I, uh, set out to buy it on DVD—without any luck! In the sense that copies I could find cost more (w/ shipping) than buying it to stream. So, I bought it to stream on Amazon. Do I regret my choice, Gentle Readers? No, no I don’t. I do regret burden of knowledge in learning that TNT was already playing the entirety of the film. That was a hard pill to swallow.

Nope, I’ve looked. That’s absolutely everything. Nothing additional lurking around here...

So here it is, as it is, @jammeke, “My Notes on The Man from U.N.C.L.E.”

Look, I don’t know what this film is. I probably can’t fully articulate its appeal. Or maybe I can--certainly after transcribing four page I’ve tried. Number One thing to know about me and fiction/films is that a top draw for me is seeing something out of the ordinary, such as beautiful locations, a historical era, delicious costumes. There are times, frankly, this can trump weak story and undefined character for me. (The best films, of course, combine all three) Certainly, The Man... delivers in the delight of the eyes. Additionally, I must confess that growing up as a person older than @reblogginhood but younger than Miss Fisher, so much of what was on TV was essentially reruns of this film’s iconic Look(tm). So, when I see women dressed like Gaby I am just another three-to-seven-year-old overcome with the drop dead glamour of it all.

Darling, tell me how you really feel...

Some questions I have:

· IS Armie Hammer a hulk of a man? Everyone in this film seems to think so, yet he always tracks to me as trim (rather than hulking)

· Why translate via captions some Russian speaking, but not all?

· IS Napoleon’s backstory directly cribbed from USA’s White Collar?

· DOES Gaby have a German accent?

· Does Ilya get preternaturally attached to all the people he’s ordered to look after? Also, what is his bonding rate with kittens?

Sorry, wrong iteration.

· If Lady Villain knows the lens is wrong—if her technical understanding is that in-depth--does she really need Gaby’s dad to make the bomb?

· How old was Gaby during the war?

· What happens when Ilya gets a NEW puppy assigned to him? (please let this be addressed in film #2)

Hooray for:

· That bathroom fight! *all the Burn Notice feels!

· Gaby is her own lady, and chooses sides as necessary—not always unilateral in her support for either male character. Case in point: she sides with Ilya over the clothes, and Napoleon over the incident of the wallet.

· That delicious (speaking as Rusty, here) Ocean’s 11-stylized action. It’s pretty, so I’m not bored with it. Sometimes a sandwiched montage gets shown, so I’m REALLY not bored. I’ve got 18 tiny moving boxes of things to look at!

· Pinkie rings. There, you’ve told me everything I need to know about that character.

· Solo in a beret. English has not yet found a word for the feeling it evoked in this viewer. Somewhere between ‘precious’ and ‘oh, no’.

See, there? Now you’ve felt it too.

· Goggles! All the accessories! Dune Buggies! (I mean, that’s what I’m calling Napoleon’s chase-scene ride)

Things I adore:

· It seems (after some research) that more than a few folks view Gaby as a third wheel, and though she’s not exactly a Princess Leia commandeering her own rescue and exuding competence and a deserved take-charge-attitude at every corner, she IS a foci for both male characters (though romantically it would seem only for one), just as Ilya is a foci for both her and Napoleon [no one seems to worry about Napoleon, though they should--film #2, anyone?]

· Mechanic Gaby not needing a beauty makeover, or being dragged into one. She gets some nice clothes, but it’s never suggested that she’s not attractive or acceptable before putting them on, and I respect, nay, embrace it.

Oh, my heart. She’s still not as tall as them!

· Ilya, drab pigeon Ilya, knowing fashion

· Oh man, don’t even get me started on the power of the statement, “it doesn’t have to match”

· You knew it was coming on this sublist: the wrestle-fight. I mean, c’mon. Poor little Gaby, locked behind the Iron Curtain, living a life of always being watched. She’s in the swankest hotel (I mean, Napoleon chose it, so we can be sure it’s swank with an E). She’s trying to celebrate her freedom, her liberation. She’s playing verboten music, she’s drinking to excess. Girl wants—and deserves—a party. And Ilya is…not built for that (that he knows of). For some fun, just imagine if she had been given Napoleon to room with instead.

o I will say that this scene, and some of their other interactions have what I would call early (non-sibling) Luke and Leia energy. Ilya seems to have moments of being struck by Gaby in a way Luke is struck by Leia in the early part of the trilogy. When Leia takes charge, and Luke accepts it. When Leia does something incredible, and Luke is left open-mouthed. *no, I don’t see OT Star Wars in everything. Shut up.

· “He fixed the glitch.”

· Again, shout-out to the non-action action.

· “I left my jacket in there.”

· The whole race to rescue Gaby I am in love with beyond words. [I have noted it as “Crazy Jeep Drive with Warhead!”] Probably b/c it comes across as totally egalitarian. Both men want her rescued. They’re no longer in competition. It’s just as important to Napoleon as it is to Ilya to catch up to her. Also, it is bonkers, like some sort of X-games version of a commercial for the vehicles they’re driving. And screaming Willie Scott does not make an appearance.

Someone says “winkle” out.

· Look! Another note about the screen divisions and how I love it, shout-outs to the original Steve McQueen The Thomas Crown Affair (a contemporary of when this movie is meant to be set), and TV’s 24.

Things that get a great, big NOPE:

· Jerrod Harris: you’ve been in so much streamable content in the last decade I can’t hate you, but frankly, you’re terrible here—unless you’re supposed to be giving a mannered, not-campy-enough-to-be-enjoyable performance here. Your American English puts me in the mind of Alex Hawaii 5-0′Loughlin where it feels you’re concentrating so hard on your accent that you fail to convince anyone that you’re a harried, over-worked and exasperated spy handler. Your performance is at odds with every bit of dialogue you’re given to say.

· That awful, mishandled title that doesn’t even connect to the film until the final moments (a sequel set-up, for sure)

· Look, you don’t introduce Hugh Grant casually mid-way through your film in a throwaway appearance. I mean, he’s HUGH GRANT we all know something’s up now.

· This is not exactly a great big NOPE, b/c I love a flat cap, Tommy Shelby—but I feel like a less tall man with a far rounder face in a flat cap would track more as Russian to me that AH does. To me, he just looks like he’s about to go golfing.

Over par? Unacceptable!

· Is Victoria a British-accented Italian? A British woman who married—what? Gaby’s uncle isn’t Italian!? An Italian who went to school in Britain? My head hurts. Also, is her hair meant to be unconvincingly bleached?

Other commentary:

· Napoleon’s adult ne’er-do-well backstory is so far from being emotionally equivalent to Ilya’s childhood trauma [and his enslavement to the USSR] it seems bestial when he calls it out on multiple occasions. Badly done, Solo.

· Gaby is the film’s key (sorry, Buffy fans). Everyone is connected to her. Yes, she could have been given a bit more on the character front, but I don’t see her as as much of a flaw in the film as some others/reviewers seem to.

· Look, essentially (and not very nuanced-ly), Ilya is a stalker. I think the film goes a certain distance in establishing that his early behavior toward Gaby is not normal, but concurrently it does not truly call him out on it. He’s essentially viewed as an odd-duck, sure, but not a true threat to her (should she not reciprocate or tolerate his intensity toward her). I think I might be able to cite his behavior when Gaby comes on to him (that he doesn’t jump at a chance with her) that maybe he’s given a little more nuance than a straight-on stalker, and it helps that he and Napoleon never get into a pissing match over Gaby’s person, only over her new clothes. But overall the film has to walk a fine line (and the jury is still out on how successful it is, I’d say) between playing Ilya’s laser-like attention to Gaby for its humor, and calling it out for the unsettling, threatening behavior it is.

· Honestly, it wasn’t until I engaged the Closed Captioning that I understood Napoleon was calling Ilya the ‘Red Peril’. So, that was nearly three viewings in.

· I give the screen credits A+, on both ends. Not to mention the end credits are actually INTERESTING with lots to see and learn! (Certainly we learn more about HG in them than we do at any time during the film)

Things I would have liked:

· More of fish-out-of-the-Iron-Curtain Gaby moments

· A better dichotomy shown of East vs. West Berlin/Germany. There’s nothing easy either visually or otherwise to distinguish the two.

· HC being given a more specific American accent (from an actual locality). This, for an American viewer, works better than the flat, unlocated American accent many a British actor will bust out. *Mind you, HC does a generally good job, but he fails utterly on both “Immediate” which he pronounces at least twice as “immeedeejt” [rather than imm-E-deeot] and “Nazi” as “NAHT-zee” [rather than “NOT-zee”]. And let’s not get started on that late in the film use of ‘earnt’, a word that—well, it’s just not in the American English twentieth century lexicon.

· C’mon. You gotta tease the Hugh Grant more.

· Solo is a blank before the war. I’ve read thoughts on the film calling out Gaby as the blank character, but they’re wrong. Solo is the blank. He’s the ‘made’ man, his identity seemingly assembled during the war and after. For example, he doesn’t go into the war a thief, nor (it would seem) a particularly educated or urbane individual. Now THAT’s a juicy backstory I’d love to learn about, perhaps in film #2--or #3? What creates a Napoleon Solo? What would he be doing if he weren’t on the government’s leash/incarcerated? Is anyone left caring about him back wherever he calls home? I mean, who doesn’t love a gender-flipped 60s-era Holly Golightly backstory? [And yes, I would love there to be an ex-wife or even a current wife mixed up in his origins as well—Guy Ritchie, call me!]

Notes I have that I’m not sure if they still make sense to me:

· Only mom calls me Napoleon (do he say it ‘mum’?) Is he a secret Canadian?

· Solo’s torture, 1st view recall Napoleon’s childhood? *I think this means that after watching the first time I somehow erroneously believed that during the torture Napoleon’s childhood was a topic gone over. This was wrong. HOWEVER, this would have made far more story-sense than the backstory we’re given on an easily disposeable villain.

· “Even the average Russian agent. You’re special.” ?

· Uncle is Baddie (*so glad I made this note to myself)

· Ilya’s dad IS an embarrassment. I’m not sure what genius commentary I had in my mind, here. Perhaps that Ilya himself is embarrassed of him? Not just Ilya’s handler’s? [Also, aside: Napoleon totally slut-shames Ilya’s mom, which is the doublest of double standards from ‘I got myself the biggest and most ornate suite b/c I-wanted-plenty-of-space-for-my-random-seductions’ and I really wish Ilya had thrown that back in his face] *yes, of course I know that Ilya and Napoleon would not likely equate a wife/mother’s sexual exploits with that of Solo’s, but let’s be honest, this film tweaks the nose of (I won’t say reverses, it doesn’t go that far) plenty of tropes and gender expectations, and this certainly seems like a missed opportunity to call Solo on the carpet (which I hope film #2 does far more)

Things I wrote down so long ago I don’t recall what they mean:

· CC-save

In conclusion:

What does film #2 look like? What title does it get? Will the Peter/Neil White Collar dynamic continue to grow? *note that I have no confidence a second film will ever come to pass...

In the end, all I know is, “It didn't help when American Tom Cruise, who was slated to play U.S. spy Napoleon Solo, dropped out, prompting the casting of Cavill (who had previously read for the Russian role).“ I would not have watched that film.

#tmfu #tmfu 2015 #ilya kuryakin #napoleon solo #gaby teller #henry cavill #armie hammer #alicia vikander #the man from uncle 2015 #the man from u.n.c.l.e.#the man from uncle #i don't know what this film's tags are meant to be to keep it from popping up in the TV series searches Sorry

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ms-camucia · 6 years

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"That lightsaber. It belongs to me." Why Maz Kanata Knows Some Shit Regarding Ben Solo

It’s why her eyes are so big. They’re full of secrets.

So, I haven't written any meta since... Well, roughly 2004, and it wasn't called 'meta' back then on 'ol Leaky Cauldron, it was just fan theories. So I apologize if I'm rusty, and if someone has postulated on this previously.

Basically, I have two theories I want to lay out here:

-Ben Solo was the one to find the Skywalker lightsaber -Rather than keep it, he entrusted it, along with some other possessions, with Maz Kanata

Oh Maz, you hoarder.

Timeline wise, this is a little sketchy, especially since we don't have too much canon to work from. We know that, in 28 ABY (Bloodline), it had been a little while since Leia had heard from Luke or Ben, but she didn't seem too concerned, so presumably it hasn’t been overly-long. By the time we see Kylo Ren in TFA, he's obviously been in the First Order for a bit, but for fewer than 6 years, since TFA is in 34 ABY.

My thought is that Ben found the lightsaber at some undefinable point - it may not even be important when - just that he found it, and kept it safe. He could have found it back in the Jedi school days, keeping it hidden, or he could have found it post-Luke's Jedi School Fiasco, but pre-Snoke.

Either way, Ben didn’t immediately go to Snoke after the Luke Incident.

“When I get out of here, I’m going straight to the creepy man who’s been in my head since I was an infant!” said no one ever.

Just logistically, unless Snoke was there in the goddamn First Order minivan, ready to pick up Ben after Jedi School was left in a burning ruin, there's some time between the massacre and Ben Solo becoming Kylo Ren. In a period I'm roughly defining as "The Jedi Killer," since this follows early concept art of a Kylo-like figure who hunted down any artifacts having to do with the Jedi, Ben Solo has some time that's completely unaccounted for.

“There’s some slight boxing around the edges, but it’ll sell as new.”

That's where Maz, and the "Good Story For Another Time" comes in.

So, let's try to establish that unaccounted for time.

Ben Solo, in his eyes, just had his uncle try to murder him. Something goes down, such that six students die, and six go with him. These kids - yes, he’s 23 and presumably just murdered some people, but if Luke called him a “frightened boy,” he’s a kid - are scared, confused, and looking for answers. But let's say they don't just hightail it to the First Order and find Snoke, because that would be ridiculous, no matter how much Snoke has been in Ben's head - the First Order is something that only exists in whispers by 28 ABY, and Snoke wasn’t there from the beginning.

These kids want answers about the Force that they couldn't find with Luke - so they start looking. I'm already imagining some dark, Scooby-Doo/Indiana Jones mashup of the pre-Knights of Ren tracking down ancient Jedi and Sith temples and artifacts. They're successful - they find plenty of stuff, but very few answers.

Enter Maz Kanata.

This is the face of a woman who is already so done with this shit.

Maz has been established as someone with ties to Han, Chewie, and even Leia - in Forces of Destiny, it’s revealed that she's the one who gave Leia the Ubese disguise she uses in ROTJ. I think it's safe to say Maz Kanata is an Organa-Solo family friend, and most definitely someone a young Ben Solo would have met. As said by the woman herself, she knows the Force, and has clearly been around for a while. She's probably one of the first people Ben thinks to go to for help (especially if he's trying to delay the inevitable Snoke In The Head).

So Ben, and possibly the other students, go there, and she probably wheedles the entire Luke story out of a still-shellshocked Ben. Who knows - maybe he even confesses to her something about Snoke, knowing that she’s old enough to have a clue what’s going on with that guy (maybe she even sends him to Snoke, if he’s simply known as some “wise” Force-user. That’s a grim thought). Either way, Ben Solo is a man possessed at this point (possibly literally), and is just generally freaked out and on the run. Maz is old. She’s seen these eyes before.

And she’ll see them again.

(sidenote here - one can lift Finn’s dialogue with Rey at the end of this scene, and it would play out beautifully in IX with Ben/Rey if/when he leaves the First Order, and presumably tries to bail like his dad did in ANH. Maybe he even saves them in the Falcon. Poetry, rhyming, etc.)

This would be some Grade A ceramics right here.

ANYWAY, I get ahead of myself. So, we have:

Freaked out Ben Solo

Hoarding Jedi/Sith artifacts

Goes to Maz Kanata for answers

Spills his guts about absolutely everything

Maz agrees to keep his secrets - and his shit - before he runs

Like I theorized above, I think Maz is the last stop before Snoke. Maybe she tries to stop him, tells him to go home, but sees that this is the path he has to follow for right now. Ben would want to leave behind anything that could be seen as Jedi-ish before he goes to Snoke, and that would obviously include the Skywalker lightsaber, and anything else he had at this point. So he drops his Jedi stuff off with Maz.

Screenshot courtesy of me and Photoshop’s Highlights/Shadows.

I think what we’re seeing here is what was ditched. The lightsaber, maybe some Padawan clothes, what looks like a book or journal (see my fanfiction for my thoughts on Ben and writing things down), and some trinkets and bundles. Who knows if Ben told her where he was going, or if she already knew - either way, he’s on his way to become Kylo Ren. Someone will need to bring him back. Like the Lady of the Lake parallel that she is (someone else has made this connection, right?) Maz knew that, eventually, the right time and person would come for the saber, and maybe bring back Ben Solo - and thus enters Rey.

“Ben.”

Maz basically has this girl’s number from the get-go - she immediately realizes her importance, tries to get her to leave her past behind by telling her what Rey herself wouldn’t believe until it came from Kylo/Ben, and attmepts to set her off on her hero’s journey. Of course, whether knowingly or not, what Maz actually does here is literally send her into Kylo/Ben’s arms.

Kylo shot first in the Great Thigh Grab war.

My final point I have to make here concerns the Starkiller lightsaber fight. Kylo has no reason to be able to immediately recognize the Skywalker lightsaber - it was last seen in canon attached to Luke’s severed hand, tumbling through Bespin’s ventilation system. Unless Luke spent his years as a teacher doing loving, technical drawings of the lightsaber (I mean, that’s what I do as an art teacher), there’s no reason for Ben to know it on sight unless he’s seen it before - and he knows that thing in a goddamn heartbeat.

But we all know what happens after this. Kylo goes from a completely unhinged madman possessed to making this face at the lightsaber in Rey’s hands.

Good lord, just compare this face to either of the ones above it. Boy is besotted.

And thus ends Kylo Ren’s focus on the lightsaber. To him, after this moment, the saber is Rey’s.

He even puts it back in her damn hand.

Kylo/Ben doesn’t fight her for it again until TLJ, and even then, it’s less about the lightsaber and more about the million other things going on between the two of them in that moment. But that’s a good story for another time.

...And I’ve let what was originally a series of drunken screencaps I made at some point turn into an entirely-too-long meta. The last point I want to make is even a bit more meta - with the death of Carrie Fisher, we have lost our maternal figure in this trilogy. If JJ Abrams is a smart man, he is probably thanking his lucky stars that he set up Maz the way he did here, since someone will need to take up the position of the wise, older woman that helps bring everything back together.

If you’ve read this whole thing, congratulations. Sorry I went off on a bit of a rant, but this has been in the back of my mind for a while. Let me know if I’m completely off-base here.

#star wars #star wars meta #reylo #kylo ren #ben solo #rey #maz kanata #lightsaber

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ckerouac · 6 years

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fic: other duties as assigned

Title: Other Duties as Assigned (AO3)

Fandom: MCU

Summary: Peter wasn’t sure how exactly he ended up playing errand boy for the Black Widow in a department store downtown while she bullied Captain America into a new wardrobe, but if that's where the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man was needed, he wasn't going to leave his SPIDER BRO hanging.

Notes: This is all @slayediest fault - the prompt was ‘anyone takes Steve shopping for new clothes’ and, well, this happened.

Peter wasn’t sure how exactly he ended up playing errand boy for the Black Widow in a department store downtown. One minute he was working on a chemistry lab report with Ned, and then next he was getting a flurry of texts from Mr. Stark about an ‘intervention’ and ‘secret mission’ and ‘if it’s too much for you you can say no’. Which, of course he wasn’t going to say no! He was an Avenger! Well, sort of… mostly… close enough. Technically.

And then there was a text from the Black Widow asking politely if he’d be willing to help out a fellow spider because there was someone in terrible need.

HE WAS GOING TO BE SPIDER BROS WITH THE BLACK WIDOW.

Ned promised to keep the app open in his phone that they’d linked to KAREN just in case Peter needed his guy in the chair, because if it was something that Natasha Romanoff was asking for help with, it had to be something serious. Life threatening. Maybe there were more aliens. Or an accident at a chemical plant. Or a nuclear bomb. Or a mass arrest of guys on Wall Street because it turns out they were linked to HYDRA and that’s why they were trying to bring down American democracy. MJ talked about that lot, so that would totally be something that the Black Widow would be involved in. He wasn’t sure what he could do to help with that, but he could web up bad guys with the best of them and if they needed him, it didn’t matter what it was. He was going to be there!

“I just think the blue looks better,” Natasha said, reaching over to pull the navy blue t-shirt from the pile on Peter’s lap to hand to Steve. “It brings out the blue of your eyes.”

“Is that really a thing?” Steve asked, taking the shirt and looking for all intents and purposes like a defeated man as he stood in the doorway of the dressing room.

Natasha gave him a light squeeze of the shoulder. “I get that you’ve been out of the dating game for a while, but trust me. It’s a thing.”

“I’m not trying to get back into the dating game,” Steve replied. But he took the shirt, along with the pile of jeans Natasha had already handed him and retreated back into the dressing room.

“You can’t blame me for trying!” she laughed. “What about Melissa?”

“Which one is Melissa?”

“The one who coordinated the HVAC repair to the tower last month.”

Natasha…” Steve said, his voice going for ‘warning’ or ‘not again’. “You sound like Old Mrs. Goldstein who lived two floors down from me growing up. She was convinced Bucky was going to die alone and unloved if he didn’t find a girl who was dumb enough to settle for him.”

“And what about you?” Natasha asked.

That got Steve to crack open the door and smile. “She figured I’d die alone after getting punched by someone for talking back to them.”

“So, pretty much how you’re likely to die now,” Natasha pointed out.

“Pretty much,” Steve said, and closed the door once again.

“Excuse me,” Peter said. “But… um… I thought you said that there was a big crisis that needed the Avengers?”

Natasha dropped down onto the bench next to Peter and smiled. It wasn’t that it was unnerving when she smiled, Peter decided, it was just that you couldn’t tell at all what she was smiling about. Like, was she smiling about Captain America in a dressing room? Or the pile of clothes in his lap? Was she smiling about how it was silly that Peter thought she wanted to be spider bros, even though he’d never actually used the spider bros line yet? He was gonna wait until they were taking down the bad guys, and then slip is casually into conversation, and she was gonna laugh and think that it was brilliant, and then he’d name the text thread that they’d inevitably start SPIDER BROS and it would become a thing.

It’s like whenever MJ decided to smile. She only smiled when she thought he was doing something stupid.

Oh… shit… was the Black Widow smiling a ‘Peter you’re so dumb’ smile?

“What I said was there was someone who needed our help,” Natasha pointed out.

“And it was… Mr. Rogers?”

A bigger grin this time. “I love it when you call him that,” she said. “Look, I’ve been trying to get him to update his wardrobe. He lives in khakis and SHIELD shirts, unless someone specifically pulls something different out for him. I think if he had his way, he’d live in his uniform.”

“I mean, what’s wrong with that?”

Natasha leaned in a little closer. “Do you have someone you like?”

Yes. “No.”

“Have you dressed up for them in the past?”

Yes. “No.” Peter’s eyes went wide. “Wait, does Mr. Rogers have a date? Is that why we’re here? Are we getting him ready for a date? Where would someone like him go on a date? Like, the Statue of Liberty? Is that too cliche?”

She reached over and gave him a squeeze on the shoulder. Peter tried hard not to look too excited. It was the same thing she did to Captain America! They really were going to be spider bros! “It’s just a closet refresh,” she said. “Don’t think too hard about it.”

“But… if it’s not something… wait, why me?” Peter asked. “Why did you and Mr. Stark ask me to come along?”

Natasha shrugged as Steve emerged. “We told him you were struggling with a personal problem, and he jumped at the chance to help.”

“Wait, you used me as bait?!”

“And I fell for it,” Steve replied. He placed his hands on his hips and glared at Natasha. “Taking advantage of an old man is elder abuse.”

Before Peter realized what he was doing, he’d lifted his phone to take a picture of Cap’s stare of disappointment. “Sorry, sorry,” he said. “It’s just that’s the exact look you have in the videos they show when we have detention, and I always thought that was some acting they made you do, but it’s…”

“It’s just his face,” Natasha beamed. “But I’m immune to it. Plus, I don’t think that’ll be any way to get a response to profile I put up for you on SexySeniorDating.com.”

“What detention video?” Steve asked, ignoring Natasha’s jab because Peter was sure that she’d actually put up a dating profile for him behind his back. Would she?

“You know, the ‘so you’ve found yourself in detention’ video,” Peter explained, doing his best Captain America expression, complete with sigh and pursed lips. “There’s a whole bunch of them.”

Steve looked like he was going to deflate right there, and his frown was about as large as Natasha’s grin. “I still can’t believe I let Tony talk me into those,” he mumbled. “Just like your USO tour,” he mimicked. “But enriching the minds of today’s youth.”

“You were recently thawed, your brain was probably still a little icy,” Natasha pointed.

“No, wait, they’re great!” Peter insisted. Insulting Captain America would probably completely squash his plans to be spider bros with the Black Widow cause even if she liked to make fun of him, no one else could make fun of Captain America. I mean, he was CAPTAIN AMERICA. Why would anyone want to make fun of him? He was amazing, and he was here hanging out with Peter, even if it was technically because Peter was bait in a convoluted plot for the Black Widow to keep making fun of him…

Wait… ‘squash’... like a bug… he just got that! He needed to remember to tell Ned that he’d come up with a great spider pun with his spider bro Natasha.

“I can pull one up for you!”

“Please don’t.” “I already have one as my voicemail message.”

Steve and Natasha turned to stare at each other. Peter was pretty sure neither of them were telepathic, but he couldn’t actually be sure, but there was obviously something getting exchanged between them.

Steve was the first to relent. He sighed, shook his head, and grabbed another couple of shirts from Peter’s lap pile. “Let’s get this over with,” he said, retreating back into the dressing room.

“Wait, I’m going to find you a jacket,” Natasha said.

“I already have a jacket.”

“Not one you’ve gotten shot in, a nice blazer,” she called out as she left Peter to watch Steve and, as she’d explained when this whole outing started, ‘make sure he didn’t run away like a coward’.

“Is.. there anything I can get you, Mr. Rogers?” Peter asked.

A laugh came from behind the door. “No, kid, I’m fine.”

“I’m sorry for being bait,” Peter continued. “I thought there was, you know, a thing that needed attention and all hands on deck. I didn’t know shopping was part of the… internship. Mr. Stark keeps it pretty… undefined. You know, and I totally get why, and I’m not complaining about it at all. That’s not what I’m saying. I’m happy to be here and do whatever I can to help. I just didn’t think it would be… shopping buddy.”

“I’m pretty sure this falls under other duties as assigned. But if it makes you feel any better, people have tricked me into foolish job related duties since the 40s.”

OMG he and Captain America had something in common! Maybe it wasn’t just him and the Black Widow that were going to be SPIDER BROS. Maybe Captain America didn’t think he was just a kid from Queens and they were going to be bros too! He didn’t seem to hold the airport stuff against him. Not too much. He only brought it up once. Maybe twice. The Falcon brought it up a lot more. But if Captain America thought they were just like each other… oh man, if his seven-year-old self and his Captain America lunch box could see him now. Wait, there could be a lunch box with both Captain America AND Spider-Man on it! With their arms around each other! Giving a thumbs up!

He had to text Ned. He’d die seeing the same look on Cap’s face as the videos. just out w bw & cap bc we’re bff now he texted along with the picture, followed quickly by disappointed!cap is disappointed .

The response was immediate, like Peter knew it would be.

...but it wasn’t Ned.

I thought you were at Ned’s studying??

He’d accidentally texted Aunt May.

sorry!! I meant to send that to Ned

That was fine. She knew about… all of it. And it proved he wasn’t getting shot at or thrown off a building or any of the number of things she’d yelled at him that Mr. Start was irresponsible for letting happen to him once she found him in his suit. And considering that that’s what he thought he’d be doing on this little outing, she should appreciate how little danger he was in compared to how much he could’ve been in if what he thought was going to happen actually had happened. How could she object to a shopping trip… even if he had told her this morning he was spending the day with Ned working on their lab reports?

Why is Captain America disappointed with you?? What did you do?? AM I GOING TO BE DISAPPOINTED WITH YOU??

no it’s fine I didn’t do anything. I’m at my internship.

“Are you texting the girl?” Natasha asked, scaring the shit out of Peter because for some reason she was the only one who could sneak up behind him without his senses catching on. “Is it the one who you dressed up for that you said you didn’t?”

“What? No!” Peter tried to look as casual as possible, but his phone started buzzing again. Wait, I recognize those dressing rooms. I’m going to give Captain America a piece of my mind.

“Is something wrong?” Steve asked, cracking open the door to the dressing room and catching the blazer Natasha decided to throw at him. “Do we need to-”

“My aunt is coming cause I accidentally texted her, and I thought I was texting Ned cause you made the face and I thought he’d find it funny, and May’s too worried that I’ve done something to make Captain America mad at me, and I think she’s coming to yell at you, so please don’t be angry with her, she doesn’t mean it, she just… I think she likes yelling at people. Mostly Mr. Stark,” Peter explained. “But she doesn’t yell at him a lot! Only when he shows up. Or when I come home with a bloody nose. But those aren’t always Mr. Stark’s fault.”

“Just usually,” Steve said. “Does she… know about...”

Peter nodded. “Yeah, she knows.”

“Maybe this is a good thing,” Natasha said. “We could use another opinion. Because those jeans are going to make Heather in Operations -- “

“No.”

“Or how about Tonya in -”

“Natasha.”

She just smiled that MJ smile again. Peter was certain there was no way she was giving up, and surely Cap realized that. He could say no all he wanted, but Peter would bet money she’d have him on a date by the end of the week.

It took 15 minutes, but eventually the back and forth interrupted by, “Peter?”

The three of them turned at the new voice and Peter gave his Aunt May the most contrite, most apologetic, most ‘but at least I’m not dangling off of a building and the highlight of the 11pm news’ wave that he could muster. “Hi Aunt May.”

“I think you wanted to yell at him,” Natasha added motioning to Steve, who at this point was standing there with a pile of clothes draped across his arm.

“Yes,” May said, pausing to just stare at him for a moment. Peter was sure this wasn’t going to end well. She wasn't impressed at all with Mr. Stark each time he showed up, and sure he was the only one of the Avengers to show up at their apartment, but if she wasn’t impressed by Iron Man, surely she wasn’t going to be any more impressed by Captain America, especially once she got it into her head that he was angry with him. “You’re a lot taller in person.”

Steve smiled. “Yeah, I get that. Sorry, where are my manners. I’m Steve,” he said, extending his free hand.

May shook his hand and smiled as well. “May Parker. You know Peter through… his internship?”

Steve nodded. “He’s a good kid. Quick on his feet,” he added.

“Sticks with something until it’s finished?” May volleyed back.

“Really swings for the wall,” Steve replied, amused. He was interrupted by Natasha clearing her throat. “Oh, and this is Natasha.”

May let go of Steve’s hand a gave the Black Widow a wave. “Yeah. These are not the friends I thought Peter would be hanging out with in high school,” she added. “Or the job I thought he’d have in high school. I mean, Jesus, I worked in a grocery store in high school.”

“Oh, really? Me too!” Steve beamed. “And, I don’t mean to brag, but I got pretty good at stacking apples into a pyramid.”

“And there would be some ass who thought it was funny to pull the piece of fruit from the bottom of the stack?” May laughed.

“And then I’d point it out and get knocked around a bit in the alley,” Steve admitted. “They didn’t pay me enough to put up with that kind of jerk.”

“How much did they pay you?”

He grinned. “A quarter.”

“Oh yeah, you totally deserved at least 30 cents,” May replied.

“Yeah, that’s what FDR said too,” he laughed.

“See, May, he’s not angry at me,” Peter interjected. He didn’t want May to get laughed at any more by Captain America, and if he could just convince her that he was fine, and Captain America wasn’t angry with him any more, and it was just a joke, she wouldn’t have to hang out in the dressing room with them any more. “His disappointed face was for something else.”

“What was his disappointed face for, then?” May asked.

“I got tricked into going shopping,” Steve admitted. “Natasha thought I could use some help with some new clothes and told me that Peter needed my help.”

“And you just wanted to help him?” May asked.

“He’s a good kid,” Steve said. “Of course I wanted to help him if he needed it.”

“Yeah, I like him.” May turned and smiled at Peter over her shoulder. “I think I’ll keep him.”

“So… everything’s cool,” Peter said. “You can head home.”

“Or you could help Steve decide between a couple of shirts that he was debating,” Natasha intejected. “We could use another woman’s opinion. I like the blue, but Steve is partial to the white.”

“Sure,” May said. “Always glad to help. And blue is always a good color. Especially with your eyes,” she added.

Okay, so not how Peter saw the afternoon going. At this rate he’d never find the right time to suggest to Natasha that they be SPIDER BROS, especially not with May bothering Captain America…

***

“May?” Peter called out as he closed the apartment door and dropped his backpack on the couch. “I’m home.”

“How was school?” she called out from her bedroom.

“It was fine,” Peter answered. “Sorry I’m late, we had Decathlon practice and then I had to finish my lab report with Ned.”

“Not a problem, dinner is in the fridge. Blue lid. The spaghetti from last night.”

“Are you going somewhere? I thought you worked days this week?”

There was a knock at the door. “Peter, can you get that?”

“Sure.” He opened it to find Steve standing there, in one of the outfits Natasha had bullied him into buying last Saturday. “Hi Mr. Rogers. Hey, wait, what are you doing here? Does… does Mr. Stark need me? Did he send you to come get me? Wait, what’s going on, I can… May!” he called out. “I’m going out-”

“Hey, no, it’s not an internship thing,” Steve said, stepping inside the apartment and closing the door behind him. “Not an Avengers thing.”

“Oh,” Peter said. “Then what are you doing here?”

May popped her head out into the living room and smiled. “Hey, you found it okay.”

“Yeah,” Steve replied. “Sorry, I’m a little early. Never spent much time in Queens.”

“Not a problem, I’m ready to go.”

Peter realized that May looked a lot nicer than her normal Tuesday night sweatshirt and… “Wait, where are you going?”

“Steve and I are going to grab some dinner,” May said. “Like I said, spaghetti is in the fridge. I’ll be back in a little while.” She kissed his forehead as she walked past. “Make good choices.”

“Good to see you, Peter,” Steve said before focusing on May. “You look really nice.”

“Why thank you.” She gave a quick little tug on the hemline of his t-shirt as he opened the door for her and led her out into the hall. “Blue looks really good on you.”

It took Peter a full minute after the door closed before he was able to sputter out, “You… make good choices.” Before he could question it any further, his phone buzzed.

Thx for your help on Sat! Mission accomplished - FINALLY got old man out on a date

No shit, Peter thought, as he changed the name of the text thread from ‘Natasha’ to ‘SPIDER BROS’. She could just deal with it.

#mcu #fanfic #marvel #mcu fic #spiderman #chasingkerouac writes #this is fluff #shameless fluff #and my first time writing in this fandom

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mazarinrouge · 7 years

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BS Bending in TLOK

Watching The Legend of Korra is so disappointing in a lot of different ways. So if you ignore the plot, you’d expect at least some good action scenes with the effort and consistency from the old show. Ehhhh. The bending in LOK is strikingly idiotic and a degradation of the gem from the old show. Maybe if I weren’t comparing it to The Last Airbender, I wouldn’t mind it. But the fact it is so blatantly off from its predecessor makes for another highlight of Korra that I can’t un-see. From how elements are manipulated to even more complex shit with specific kinds of ~special people bending~, Korra, if I can put this politely, fucks everything up.

Right from the start you can tell that Korra definitely dumbed down the movements of the characters. It’s odd because the martial arts expert from Avatar worked on Korra as well. However, he only worked on 22 episodes of Korra, compare that with his 61 episodes guided in The Last Airbender. It’s probably a mix of Kisu’s lack of involvement, and an overall decision from the writers that maybe it wasn’t as important? Which is sad, because it really disassociates the audience from the complex spirituality and intricacies of the world. Styles benders seem to have spent years mastering are lost, and replaced with a modern, boxing type “PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH!!!” Hollywood action situation. Here’s some pretty (MS PAINT) pictures to do the talking for me.

And a bonus:

If the simplification of normal bending hasn’t gotten to you, there’s still a lot more I have to sift through. There’s so much shit pointing to how bending’s complexity was reduced for coooool moments. I’m even going to make nice little subheaders.

Lavabending

So, in ATLA we see lavabending is a feat only the Avatars are capable of. Roku does it, Kyoshi does it. Avatar cool kids only. But then in Book Three, Bolin suddenly has the ability to lavabend at the tip of the hat. Which, by the way, is another thing stupidly prevalent throughout this series. Both Korra and Bolin in times of crisis suddenly have the ability to do things they couldn’t do, but really wished they could’ve. Hooow convenient.

So the discrepancy here is how Bolin can lavabend, and so can this random Earthbender guy, wouldn’t that mean all Earthbenders can? Metalbending makes sense, but lava is so hot it’s going to set stuff on fire. Technically, it counts as two elements, and has been confirmed as such by making it an Avatar-only thing in ATLA. But now these two random guys can just do this. Apparently it may even be easier than metalbending, which is also ridiculous. If lavabending is just bending the Earth to “go fast”, that’s a lot easier than metalbending because there’s more mass to bend. Just make it go zoom zoom and blamo everyone’s a lavabender.

Some people like to claim that because Bolin had an Earthbending dad and a Firebender mom, then that means he can control both elements to control lava. Which is dumb because then that would make him a fanfic-esque Dual Bender. And we really don’t need any of those. It’s never explained or justified, and is so different from the original show, it feels...sacrilegious. How dare you dishonor the lore. /s

BALD AIRBENDING MAN

What’s his name?

I don’t really care, because he’s dumb too. I feel like I don’t have to elaborate, though. It should be pretty obvious. ~Harmonic Converge~ (weird af plot device) gave him airbending, and because he studied it before and read a book by an Airbender Lady, he’s a master at it now. His powers are so innate, he worked so little to get to where he is. Hell, he didn’t work at all.

Unless you want me to believe that all his days in prison, he anticipated becoming an airbender and practiced all the moves beforehand. Granted, there are no official moves anymore. I’m sure he’s experienced in reckless punching. That’s all you need to bend, right?

If he can read a book and be great at airbending, why can’t Korra. Why didn’t Aang read THREE books to go defeat Ozai. Aang just should’ve read Earthbending for Dummies. Then he could bend the entire world off its axis. And This Bald Guy can jump off a cliff after quoting some “deep airbending lore” and he can FLY. Not even propelled by anything or even (AGAIN I REITERATE) moving his arms to BEND the currents around him. He’s not flying. He’s floating. And floating characters have always seemed like pretty bad animation, seriously. He looks like a late-stage yuri on ice character. Super out of place, and moving oddly across an undefined plane.

MAKO IN GENERAL

Mako does a couple things I’m not a big fan of. Ok, a lot of things. But in terms of bending, I have a few choice picks.

In Legend of Korra, lightning and its redirection has a lot less of an impact. Being electrocuted no longer hurts anyone unless the writers want us to feel bad for a character being hurt (usually Korra). But half of the time, it’s just there to look really COOL and not really do anything. This is proven by two things. Mako shoots lightning right on Amon at point blank, and Amon isn’t affected. The same is true for Mako. He HOLDS ON to the lightning and ISN’T AFFECTED AT ALL. Let me make another ATLA/LOK comparison.

Zuko: Tries to redirect lightning, gaurding his torso so hopefully it doesn’t hit him. In the end it does and he’s pretty much out of the fight.

Mako: Doesn’t even really care if he’s hit by the lightning at all. He holds on to it for a good few seconds, because it’s not like electrocution hurts or anything. Only after getting a REFRESHING SHOCK for a good bit does he decide to toss it back at the Robo Man.

Maybe this would make sense because Mako is supposed to be a cool, all-powerful Firebender. But then even that theory breaks down, because he can withstand the strongest forms of raw fuckin’ Bending Power from all elements, apparently.

He does another of these dumb moves when he’s being bloodbended by Amon. We see Amon being bloodbended, but he escapes the grip, and the audience assumes it’s because he’s a bloodbender. But then suddenly MAKO CAN DO IT TOO. What a great guy.

Also Amon’s fine from this shock as well. And this kind of encompasses everything I’ve touched on. There’s Amon bending without moving, Mako having unrealistic powers never touched on before, and powers that are nerfed to all hell just to add ~drama~ in replace of actual sense.

TL;DR: LOK’s bending is saturated action filler written in for wish fulfillment, sacrifices old techniques and inner consistency for cool looking moves and scenarios, and shows a disappointing lack of passion or misunderstanding of the source material

#anti lok #anti-lok #anti bryke #anti-bryke #rant #my posts

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thenicedolphin · 6 years

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Oscars Analysis With Biting Commentary: 2019 Edition!

We are BACK, with the 7th annual Oscars post from The Nice Dolphin (see links here for 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013), where Matt provides insightful, quality analysis while Alex texts some thoughts from his iPhone about how Lego Movie 2 was robbed of a nomination even though it’s not even eligible this year. As always, Matt is in regular font, and Alex comes in with the BOLD.

You know what? Lego Movie 2 WAS robbed this year! Just like how Lego Movie should’ve been nominated for Best Picture in 2015 and didn’t even get nominated to be in the ghetto of Best Animated Feature. Horseshit. We haven’t even gotten to the first category and I’m already PISSED.

Best Picture: “Black Panther” “BlacKkKlansman” “Bohemian Rhapsody” “The Favourite” “Green Book” “Roma” “A Star Is Born” “Vice”

I’ll start by noting this wasn’t my favorite years for Oscar nominees. The top picks aren’t as good as Get Out or Lady Bird (or Phantom Thread) from last year. Or Moonlight and La La Land the year before. But there are a few great films in here, along with some mediocre picks.

Nice try sneaking La La Land in there -- should’ve at least gone with Argo. I do agree that it’s a weak year. Lady Bird would’ve jobbed out almost all the other movies this year, and it was like the third best movie from last year (behind Get Out and Phantom Thread). Honestly, just go back and read last year’s post.

I’d go to bat for Roma for sure. It’s a great film. It certainly is a masterpiece of visuals and a writer/director getting to tell his personal story. It certainly felt like a movie event to watch it in theaters.

Certainly.

The sound was really creative (surround sound to make the neighborhood and events feel alive). The visuals were beautiful and poignant, as one would expect with Cuaron. He really put all his effort in telling this story, paying homage to his childhood and to the live-in maid who so strongly influenced his upbringing.

Roma starts slow, but it builds, and I became enraptured with it during the second half. Some of the sequences are intense and well worth the previous groundwork. There’s a 10-15 minute sequence (just an estimate) that left me shook and in awe at the filmmaking (the scene starting at the furniture store). Another scene gave such emotional catharsis and helped close the movie really well. Roma also has some fun tangents and moments (I think of everything around New Year’s Eve) that some may find meandering. I dug them.

While Roma was a technical masterpiece, I’m still not sold on it as a story. Literally nothing happens for the first 100 minutes then we get some things that are completely unnerving, including one image that does not feel entirely earned, to put it mildly.

TASTELESS SPOILER ALERT

Cuaron is like “yeah, let’s focus on some dog shit for two hours. Enjoying that? Well, here look at this dead baby for like 15 minutes straight.” Dude was on screen for EONS. Thought he was gunning for a best supporting nom.

SPOILERS OVER

Roma is definitely a loving portrait of Cleo, a personal ode to the women who raised Cuaron, and an astute look into the intersection of economic class and gender in 1970s Mexico, but I can’t tell if those well-made pieces combine to make a truly great movie.

Otherwise, I’m not sure how much I’d want to rewatch this film or revisit it in entirety, but I really admired it and thought it was great. It is the frontrunner, and it would deserve Best Picture.

I’m a little worried that because of its Netflix standing and that weirdness. For example, AMC and Regal didn’t include Roma in their best picture marathons/showcases because it didn’t meet the distribution requirement for those theaters. Does that affect voters too? It seemed to with a few previous prestige Netflix films, but things do seem different now. So let’s talk about the next upset contender right now: Green Book.

Green Book is an interesting movie to me. It’s fairly polarizing because of the way it treats racial issues and the friendship between Viggo Mortensen’s white Italian character (Tony Lip) and Mahershala Ali’s black character (Don Shirley). You may have seen some of the controversies, such as how Shirley’s family wasn’t consulted on the film and disputes some of the representations of Shirley’s relationship with his family (deserving of criticism in my opinion). There has been criticism of director Peter Farrelly’s past on-set antics, or co-writer (son of Tony Lip) Nick Vallelonga’s tweet history (less of an issue to me to criticize the film, but still, not great, Bob).

First and foremost, FOCK this movie. Tony Lip is racist as hell! Like REALLY racist. You can tell it was written by his son, because the movie treats Tony like he’s the perfect man who was just a touch unexposed to other cultures. He never really learned or grew, especially with the whole “You’re not even black!” rant at the end. He just goes from being super racist to not(?) racist because he’s getting paid to hang out with Dr. Shirley for a few weeks.

Green Book has two great leading performances and some wonderful friendship moments. It has some funny Italian moments (is this racist?), and it has some great moments of strength by Don Shirley in rougher times racially. But man… I just can’t get over some of the key aspects of the film.

The film really leans into the dynamic of hey, you’re black, I’m white, we’re different, but hey, we’re not so different! It feels antiquated, and this year, other films handled race relations better while being better stories overall (examples include Sorry to Bother You, Blindspotting, and If Beale Street Could Talk). Green Book’s lack of nuance reminds me of Crash and Driving Miss Daisy. Hell, the movie is called Green Book, and they barely mention it! They should have just called it something else.

I get that little Nicky V. wanted to make a film about what a big man his daddy was, but it really only should’ve been loosely based on the Lip-Shirley friendship, and it could’ve avoided all the embarrassing fallout about Shirley not actually being estranged from the family/culture.

The flipside of this is whether or not Green Book is an entertaining, good movie. And in some ways it is. The friendship is fun. The banter is entertaining. I really liked Wesley Morris’ analysis of this on a podcast with Bill Simmons, who discussed how, when you take aside race and the message, the friendship is well-portrayed and some of the editing and scenes work well.

The first 30 minutes of this movie is some of the worst stuff ever recorded. Not even in terms of movies, but like, anything. It’s just Tony and his family being super racist, him entering into a hot dog eating contest (lmao what) and hacky banter between Tony and Dr. Shirley. Tony having to explain the concept of fried chicken to Dr. Shirley was a low point in a year that featured the existence of 15:17 to Paris. LOOK AT THE BABY CHICKEN LEG SPENCER

But Green Book is trying to talk about race. It’s what the film emphasizes and it’s what the creators of the film emphasized during their awards run. And if you handle that clumsily, it’s hard for me to separate that from my enjoyment of the film. I don’t need to see more stories about white guys thinking black people are deplorable, and then well, you meet a black guy, and he isn’t so bad! That’s not a great story! Ultimately, Green Book is a solid film with some troublesome messaging that weighs it down. And the film isn’t so amazing story/acting wise to overcome those issues. It’s just kinda… vanilla.

I’ll speak more on the leads in later sections, but if it wasn’t for Mahershala Ali’s deeply nuanced portrayal of Don Shirley, this movie would be completely irredeemable. Fortunately, he’s actually given a character with some agency, but everything about him is all done in service of the white man’s story about his “growth” as a person, which is really just him learning to be less of an asshole -- not exactly a hero turn!

Also, how many fucking times did they need to cut back to Tony shrugging in the Orange Bird? Geez, we get it already.

One more point to rant on: the fact that Tony’s son co-wrote the screenplay, and then Don Shirley’s family came out strongly against some of the story points REALLY rubs me the wrong way. Let’s put it this way: if a friend of mine did a story about his friendship with me, emphasizing inaccurately that I didn’t know how to eat Korean BBQ and had initially thought the idea of it was gross, and that I was estranged from my family but considered him and his family to be my family instead??? Dawg… I would haunt you from my grave for that shit.

/quietly deletes “The Nice Dolphin” screenplay

A Star is Born seemed like a heavy contender when it came out. It crushed the box office, critics and audience members seemed to love it, but it seems to have cooled off bigtime v. Roma and Green Book (really??? Green Book???). Well, I loved it, so let me sing its praises.

A Star is Born was good, but not that good. A hugely entertaining first hour followed by some terribly-paced sequences and a weirdly undefined Jack Maine (I didn’t realize how he spelled his name until that concert poster at the end) combine for an enjoyable, but uneven film.

Star is Born coulda gone poorly. Cooper trying to direct/sing/play music, Gaga trying to act, original soundtrack, and remaking an old story. Well, it works. The music is on point, the two lead acting performances are strong. There are some magical moments in this film… the scenes where they meet and flirt, where they write music together, when they perform Shallow… it’s so good! The film is good throughout, and the ending packs a wallop. I really like Star is Born, and I hope it can get more love than its likely Best Song win.

I will admit, I knew the ending before I saw it, so some of the impact was lessened and it also basically ruined that scene with Jack and his counselor. Also it was really late at night and I was pretty cranky, so by the third or fourth scene of her lumbering around the dance studio, I was ready to call it.

Still, Gaga and Cooper have great chemistry, which made the early scenes pop. However, the movie seemed like it didn’t really know what to make of Jack. Was he truly a troubled poet, or just a raging asshole using his art as an excuse for being an awful person? Was he a big country star selling out amphitheaters or a washed up, piss-soaked loser? What the movie was trying to claim as nuance really just came off as equivocation.

I am pleasantly surprised that The Favourite got as much Oscar buzz as it did. Alex can elaborate, but Yorgos is definitely a more out there director, and The Favourite seems to work really well as a pivot for him. It’s a little more mainstream, but not completely. It’s not a sell-out. This movie is still probably too weird and rated R for some people.

As a true Yorgite, I am THRILLED that my man is getting more mainstream love. The Favourite and Black Panther are my two favorite Best Picture nominees this year, despite them basically having no shot at winning.

Even going a bit “mainstream” here (this is the most natural-sounding dialogue in the Yorgos filmography), Yorgos sacrifices nothing about his unique, vicious style. This movie is as nasty, biting, and hilarious as anything else he’s done, and the entire cast (especially the three leads) delivers.

I really liked it. The performances were great, the story was really fun (Mean Girls but in a royal setting, or All About Eve, which I haven’t seen), the camerawork was interesting. I like how unconventional it was in some ways, like the ending just sorta sneaking up on me.

I saw this in a packed theater and I could definitely tell it was a lot of older couples who thought they were in for something along the lines of “The Crown” or “Downton Abbey,” and not heavy lesbian erotica. Also, despite what he says, I don’t consider Matt a true Yorgite, so it’s no surprise he wasn’t ready for that ending. My first thought when them bunnies hit the screen? “Yorgos, you’ve done it again!” A true masterpiece.

People are worked up about Black Panther getting a nomination, and I’m like… have you seen Bohemian Rhapsody or Vice? And you’re mad about Black Panther?

People being mad about the Black Panther getting nominated and Green Book getting legit Best Picture love? If only there was some common thread here...

First, I’ve definitely had friends surprised because for them, Infinity War was better… but I mean, they’re big Marvel fans so IW was a bigger deal to them storywise. Meanwhile, a lot of friends also told me how amazing Black Panther was, how it was their favorite Marvel movie, how it was so much more than a superhero movie, etc. Critics gave it strong reviews deservingly in my opinion, and it crushed the box office because it resonated with a lot of people. Just because it’s not as critically good as Roma and it’s a superhero movie doesn’t mean that it’s only in because it’s about race or that it doesn’t deserve it.

Black Panther absolutely deserved the nomination. Despite Avengers: Infinity War being a more crucial story to the MCU, Black Panther was a better, more cohesive film. IW was basically one long chase/fight scene, which I loved, but it can’t really stand on its own.

Black Panther built an entire world, populated it with fascinating characters with complex motivations, and had some badass action scenes all within the span of like two hours.

Also, come on guys. This is the same show that’s given nominations to… Bohemian Rhapsody. And Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close (did anyone actually see that?). The Post, American Sniper, Philomena (does anyone remember that?)... I mean, does a movie only deserve to be nominated because it was about an Oscar-type of topic? I say nominate more of these blockbuster movies (IF they are good). Why did Mission Impossible and Crazy Rich Asians and Game Night not get nominated when Bohemian Rhapsody did? They were better reviewed.

First of all, I take umbrage to you including American Sniper with that trash. Also, Game Night didn’t get nominated because it wasn’t that good (it’s still better than Green Book and Bohemian Rhapsody, but you get it). Crazy Rich Asians and Mission Impossible were both fantastic. Actually, here is an incomplete list of movies that are better than Bohemian Rhapsody and Green Book that came out this year, but didn’t get much, if any, Oscar love:

Annihilation Bad Times at the El Royale Crazy Rich Asians Deadpool 2 The Equalizer 2 (didn’t actually see this, but it’s got Denzel) First Reformed Halloween Lego Movie (still) Mission Impossible: Fallout A Quiet Place Searching Sorry to Bother You Spider-man: Into the Spider-verse (got some love, deserved more) Widows

Honestly Teen Titans Go! To The Movies and Venom were better than that trash too.

Anyway, Black Panther rules. It’s got an awesome cast of characters, it represents culture well, Coogler crushes the direction, the story is fun, and the villain is super compelling. People loved the ending scenes of Black Panther. This movie is worthy. Also shoutout to that last scene between Boseman and Jordan. Seriously, so good. Honestly, Black Panther had at least 4 scenes that were just as dramatic AND better-done than BR.

That sounds impressive until you realize that BR had zero well-done scenes. Seriously, every time I think about that movie I hate it more. It’s the opposite of Phantom Thread. It’s the Terrestrial Thread.

Bohemian Rhapsody is probably one of the worst movies to be nominated for Best Picture in recent years. Look, if you like the movie and find it entertaining, that’s totally fine! Just don’t tell me Black Panther didn’t deserve it when it’s better in every technical aspect.

The editing is bad. The story of the movie is a censored version crafted by the living band members of Queen to paint them in the best light. Freddie Mercury is portrayed like more of an immature punk than he deserves, and the other band members seem like the grown-ups. The dramatic scenes are not very good. It’s just fine. The acting is solid. The movie is fun when the band is playing music or making music. But it really drags at parts. A solid B- crowdpleaser. NOT an Oscar movie.

The only time this movie is entertaining is when Queen is playing/making music. Just save yourself the trouble and watch some old concert DVD or whatever. Every “based on a true story” movie is going to take some liberties with the facts, but this is the first movie I can recall that makes the true story MORE boring. This is literally the exact same movie as Straight Outta Compton, except that one was better -- and didn’t even get nominated! Straight Outta Compton is the Lego Movie of musical biopics.

BlacKkKlansman was a powerful movie, though I’ll say it isn’t peak Spike Lee for me. It is really good in moments, and it’s also weaker in stretches. Basically, whenever the main character is infiltrating the KKK or working with his partner, the movie works. The scenes about the civil rights movements are really good, especially a scene where Kwame Ture gives a speech. The movie is slower when it tries to delve into Ron Stallworth’s personal life and romance. The movie is probably 15-20 minutes too long, which would be my main critique. And the ending is a bit polarizing (it worked for me, but I can see the argument against it).

15-20 minutes too long? Sounds like peak Spike to me. Hey-ooooooooooooo!

I really dug BlacKkKlansman, but man the capitalization of the title is infuriating. I agree that it’s a bit scattered (and not in a way that actually serves the story), but overall, I think Spike put together a film that is entertaining, exciting, and sadly all-too-relevant in today’s world. The scenes from recent news at the end might’ve come off a bit clunky to some, but it really brought the message home that in some ways the movie might’ve had a “happy” ending, but in no way is the big picture a positive one.

Vice. Man. I was really looking forward to this one and I was disappointed. It felt like Adam McKay took all his tools from The Big Short and used them to excess. The Big Short was crisp and covered one specific story. Vice tries to cover a lot of years of Cheney’s life without much cohesion. I wish the movie had focused more on the VP years, which were the best parts of the movie and far too short. The Big Short’s narrator was a main character who explained a lot of complicated concepts that related to his character. Vice tried to have a random character with tons of narration, and it was all over the place without really having a reason for being in the movie. McKay also tries a few other ambitious things that don’t work as well when your movie isn’t strong. Basically, the riskier decisions stuck out more poorly. I wanted to dig this movie, but it just wasn’t very well-made, and I’m underwhelmed by its nominations.

I didn’t get around to Vice, but there’s something comforting about knowing that I’ll never see all of the Best Picture nominees. Not that I’ve ever let that stop me from providing commentary before. Besides, after Matt’s SCATHING review, I probably made the right call.

An interesting theme that pervades several of the Best Pic noms this year is the movies being directly at odds with their “true stories” in ways that actively hurt the movies. Green Book, Bohemian Rhapsody, and BlacKkKlansman all suffer from this. Maybe Vice too? Who knows.

Generally, I try to separate the movie from the real events it’s based on. Real life is rarely as entertaining as a Hollywood flick, so I totally get why Die Hard didn’t have a third act of Carl Winslow filling out paperwork. HAVING SAID THAT when the true tale gets twisted into something totally unrecognizable, is it fair to criticize the movie for that? Green Book completely mutated the character of Dr. Don Shirley to fit a narrative of friendship triumphing over racism; Bohemian Rhapsody mischaracterized the relationship between Freddie Mercury and his bandmates to create a non-existent redemption/comeback arc; BlacKkKlansman ignored all the ways Ron Stallworth sabotaged the pro-Black movement in Colorado in service of painting police as the true heroes of equality.

I don’t have all the answers here, but these three examples feel like particularly egregious warpings of reality. However, I want to use this opportunity to praise YORGOS, who took enough from history to give The Favourite some context, but was up front about his editorialization enough to where the historical inaccuracies didn’t matter, and it didn’t feel like watching some ol boolshit.

I wish First Man and If Beale Street Could Talk had gotten in over Vice and Bohemian, or in addition to (since the nominations can go up to 10). Hell, if you had just added these two to make it 10, this crop would look stronger. The follow-ups for the directors of La La Land and Moonlight, neither film was as strong as the previous outings, but both were quality art. First Man sometimes had less impressive action with its use of shaky cam in the cockpit (which made the theater experience dizzying at times), and it mostly lost the mainstream audience because it was less adventurous than movies like The Martian or Interstellar. It also chose to try to portray Armstrong as an ordinary, less romantic type of hero, which may have been to its detriment for entertainment purposes. But I really liked the story of Neil Armstrong and NASA, warts and all. It felt more authentic and well-acted compared to, oh, I dunno, BR. And the moon landing scenes were breathtaking.

Beale Street struggled for me with its back-and-forth narrative, and some characters who I wish had more to do but some of the scenes were so good, and the art of it was beautiful. I also wish foreign films like Cold War and Shoplifters could get some Best Picture love too, but I’ll talk more about them below.

Cinematography: “Cold War,” Lukasz Zal “The Favourite,” Robbie Ryan “Never Look Away,” Caleb Deschanel “Roma,” Alfonso Cuarón “A Star Is Born,” Matthew Libatique

(edit: We put these categories here as a little TND protest for when the Oscars weren’t gonna air them on the regular telecast. But we’ll leave them here still, because these categories rule.)

The presumed favorite appears to be Roma, with Cold War as a potential dark horse. After Cuarón’s go-to cinematographer Emmanuel Lubezki (three-time consecutive Oscar winner at one point, including for Cuarón’s Gravity) left, he pulled a Thanos and decided to do it himself. Roma’s photography has all the marks of a Lubezki/Cuarón joint. He did well. Some of the shots may be a bit much (as one friend asked, why so many dog poop shots?). But the tracking shots are glorious and usually worked well for art. Following the lizard around on a random day, Cleo running along the street, the shot of the men training, the forest on New Year’s Eve… and of course, the aforementioned furniture store and beach sequences.

I didn’t see Cold War, but it’s fine because Roma will win. Roma does look great, but damn can Cuaron get another trick besides panning ten feet in either direction after the natural conclusion of a scene? Seriously, he does it like every twenty minutes. I guess this is world building? “You see, here’s what’s happening to our characters. And there’s also more stuff happening...slightly to the left.”

I was very curious about Cold War after it got a best director nomination as well. The cinematography was beautiful too. And it also deals in black-and-white like Roma, and with different camera framing (I’m not technical enough to explain that). It had some great shots too, in particular a shot with a mirror that really impressed me. Of note, Cold War beat Roma in the American Society of Cinematographer Awards.

A Star is Born had some good camerawork and cool concert shots.

Great camera framing when the guy pisses himself. You really *feel* the piss.

The Favourite was worthy of a nomination too, using some unique camera angles and fisheye lens shots that could have been distracting but ended up working really well for the movie. I have not seen Never Look Away, but the trailer looked good.

Those long hallway shots in The Favourite were superb. Robbie Ryan is a true Yorgite.

Film Editing: “BlacKkKlansman,” Barry Alexander Brown “Bohemian Rhapsody,” John Ottman “Green Book,” Patrick J. Don Vito “The Favourite,” Yorgos Mavropsaridis “Vice,” Hank Corwin

LOL Bohemian Rhapsody. See the aforementioned link about the bad editing in it. I mean, I guess the montage while they recorded the title track was really fun, but cmon! I also had a lot of fun during some scenes of Venom, and I didn’t see that get a bunch of noms!

Well maybe it should have! Matt made me watch that clip of the first record exec convo from Bohemian Rhapsody, and it’s so bad it wasn’t until like my third viewing when I realized Matt was trying to point out how poorly edited it was. Seriously, I couldn’t even get past the dialogue: “Queen...is for losers” “Well I’m sold!”

Vice seems to be a favorite on Gold Derby. The movie was too all over the place for me, and I guess it would win for the most editing, because there are all sorts of jumping around and montages and random things the film does. Bohemian is the next favorite, so I don’t really care for this year’s winner. Maybe this year it SHOULD be on commercial break. Jk.

I didn’t see Vice, but I agree with Matt that more editing definitely doesn’t equal better editing. I think Billy Walsh would agree that sometimes it’s about the cuts you DON’T make.

I would vote for The Favourite. It’s crisp and efficient. Green Book’s editing is probably a strong suit too, admittedly. BlacKkKlansman could have been shortened some, but the editing during some of the back-and-forths (I think of the KKK meeting versus the black students’ meeting at the end) was really good.

I agree* that all three of these films were well-edited. It’s a shame that apparently they have no chance at actually winning this award.

*I think I’ve already set a record for most times agreeing with Matt in an Oscars post. We’re like one of those old married couples that gradually turn into the same person over the years. Sure it might make for a boring post, but at least we’re RIGHT.

Director: Spike Lee, “BlacKkKlansman” Pawel Pawlikowski, “Cold War” Yorgos Lanthimos, “The Favourite” Alfonso Cuarón, “Roma” Adam McKay, “Vice”

Cuarón is the presumptive favorite, and he would be very worthy. He shepherded this project to fruition, he told the story he wanted to tell, and he kicked ass. I’ve heard Spike Lee is a possible surprise here, but I’d rather see him get the Screenplay win. As mentioned, BK is not his strongest work for me, and doesn’t quite compare to Do the Right Thing.

Finally Matt says something stupid! Okay because BlacKkKlansman wasn’t as good as one of the greatest films of all time, Spike doesn’t deserve a win here? I’m not even saying he should win, but if he doesn’t, it’s not because he made a better movie in 1989.

Cuaron will probably take home the gold, and it’s well-deserved, as he really put his signature style on every aspect of Roma. It’s obviously an extremely personal project for him, but he never lets it dip too far into “diary” territory, and ultimately allows the audience inside of his perspective instead of forcing us to observe from a distance.

It’s dope that Pawlikowski got nominated sorta out of left field. He really crafted an interesting, powerful story, and it was creative and unique. Yorgos deserves props for his nomination, managing to combine his style with someone else’s script (first time using a script that wasn’t his!). I’m glad Peter Farrelly didn’t get the nod here, but I wish Cooper had gotten it in over McKay. Vice is not that impressive, but I really dug some of the decisions made in Star.

This might come as a surprise, but I’m quite happy Yorgos got nominated and would love for him to get the upset victory over dog dookie Cuaron. Shoutout to both guys for being able to direct the hell out of some nudity though.

Lead Actor: Christian Bale, “Vice” Bradley Cooper, “A Star Is Born” Willem Dafoe, “At Eternity’s Gate” Rami Malek, “Bohemian Rhapsody” Viggo Mortensen, “Green Book”

My Cooper support continues! I hope he wins, and it sounds like some people want him to be a surprise upset here. I thought he really built this role up and nailed it. This could have gone poorly. He could have sounded like Russell Crowe in Les Mis, his voice could have been weird, and he might not have been so likable on screen. But he was! He really became Jackson Maine and crafted this interesting, romantic, tragic character. I thought he was terrific.

*big sigh*

I agree with Matt again. Cooper was fantastic in playing a could-have-been-thankless role of a guy who does terrible thing after terrible thing, but still needs the audience on his side at the end. His singing was more than serviceable in the movie, as it was mostly done in live concert scenes where him being a little ragged fit the character/moment. Just uhh, don’t pull that shit up on Spotify.

Rami Malek is the frontrunner here, which surprises me. Again, I don’t like the movie, but I also like Malek. But Malek has impressed me much more in projects like Mr. Robot and The Pacific. Here, I feel like he is doing a solid impersonation, but he’s not blowing me away like DDL in Lincoln. I feel like he was also limited by the weak script/story. I wish he had had more powerhouse scenes and dialogue, but he just didn’t.

Oh he didn’t blow you like DDL in Lincoln? That might’ve been the greatest biopic performance of all time. “Malek was good, but his acting wasn’t as good as Spike Lee’s directing in the 80s.”

Not to defend Malek, dude is just up there doin a little bucky beaver impression -- and I like Malek! Shit was limp and lame. IAWM (I agree with Matt) in that the rest of the movie was so bad, Malek was never afforded the opportunity to rise above being a Halloween costume. Still, he did next to nothing, even with scant material.

Bale obviously made an impressive transformation in weight/look for Vice, and I always am a fan. He was pretty good here, and I’d be fine with a win, but it wasn’t his best work.

Viggo was good, but part of the problem of the movie is the fact that Viggo was the lead instead of Mahershala, as the film would have benefited more from being through the lens of Shirley’s view, and not Tony Lip’s.

Yeah, it pisses me off that Viggo (lol never realized how funny of a name that is until I just typed it) is even in this category. Sure he did a fine job playing a racist guy...maybe a little too fine of a job? I’m surprised Liam Neeson wasn’t clamoring for the role of Tony Lip, so he could do a little method acting.

As for Dafoe… I don’t know anyone who saw this film, and I wasn’t hyped enough to go see it. Hell, the idea of a 60+ year old playing a guy who died at 37 was enough to not get me hyped, even if the makers tried to say he would have looked like Van Gogh because of the circumstances of the times.

I obviously didn’t see this movie, but wow that is a hell of a paragraph. Are most people hyped by an old man playing a younger man? Actually, I heard that the producers were worried that Dafoe didn’t look old ENOUGH and were going to CGI in Christopher Plummer. Still though, “circumstances of the times?” I know 2019 seems awful, but this is a helpful reminder that the world use to be a literal hellscape.

I would have liked to see Ethan Hawke here for First Reformed. He carried the movie, he was awesome in it, and it was definitely unlike the normal Hawke performance I’ve seen before.

Matt, put a backhanded compliment warning there, sheesh. Hawke was fantastic in First Reformed and absolutely deserved a nomination ahead of Viggo, Malek, Fat Bale, and Benjamin Button-ass Dafoe.

Gosling here would have been good too. Also would have been cool to see an indie lead, whether Lakeith Stanfield in Sorry to Bother You or John Cho in Searching.

Stanfield and Cho crushed it in their respective roles. Funny story, Cho initially passed on Searching, but the filmmakers basically stole his phone number and hounded him until he agreed to do on the condition that they leave his ass alone afterwards.

Lead Actress: Yalitza Aparicio, “Roma” Glenn Close, “The Wife” Olivia Colman, “The Favourite” Lady Gaga, “A Star Is Born” Melissa McCarthy, “Can You Ever Forgive Me?”

Glenn Close is supposed to win. It’s apparently a lock. This definitely feels like another career honor, since this is her 7th nomination and she hasn’t won. Close is pretty good. The movie is OK and she has a delicate, graceful, but powerful performance here. I mainly just feel like it was the least memorable role here.

I didn’t see The Wife, but for some reason I’ve got love for Glenn, so I’m happy she’s getting a win.

Colman wasn’t necessarily the lead of the film, and it was really a three-headed monster (apparently Stone’s character has the most screentime), but she was awesome. She nailed this crazy, sad, bigtime character. I’d pull for her, and I think she has a small chance.

Colman might’ve had less screen time than Stone, but as the raunchy queen, she commands the audience’s attention much like she commands love from Stone and Weisz. Everything is in service of the queen and Colman puts every ounce of emotion and feeling into a role tightly balanced between needing fealty and needing love.

Gaga was a contender for a while, and I really liked her and was impressed with her rising to the occasion and taking on this lead role, weaving in her real life story with this fictional character. I think she didn’t always quite hit the acting level of Cooper, but she was close.

Gaga was good for a rookie, but cmon. She basically had like two expressions the entire movie (dumbstruck and covering half her face/sad and covering half her face).

I was really into McCarthy’s performance and thought this was a legit good indie film. Small story, really focusing on her character, and she carries it well! The Wife and this are smaller indie stories, but I was more wowed by McCarthy. She handles a sad sack of a character, self-loathing, mischievous, witty. I think she’s a great actress who sometimes ends up in unfortunate movies. This was a good one.

Shockingly I didn’t see Can You Ever Forgive Me?, but I’m glad McCarthy is getting love. She’s a great actress, but always finds herself in shitty movies.

I’m so glad Yalitza Aparicio got a nomination! She wasn’t quite as strong to me as Colman or McCarthy, but she has to be good for the film to be good, of course, and she is. I think the technical aspects of the movie outshine her performance in some ways, but she deserves merit.

Yalitza’s gotta be straight up laughing at all the love for Lady Gaga. Another first time actress, she actually does a great job in the film instead of just getting points because she has hit single songs. The range of emotions on her face when confronted by the nude ninja alone made her worthy of a nomination.

Who else would I have wanted? Maybe Joanna Kulig for Cold War. She’s a star, and she dances/sings/acts in terrific fashion. Also shoutout to Natalie Portman for Annihilation and Elsie Fisher in Eighth Grade. No one’s gonna remember The Wife in 5 years, but Eighth Grade will stand the test of time.

Supporting Actor: Mahershala Ali, “Green Book” Adam Driver, “BlacKkKlansman” Sam Elliott, “A Star Is Born” Richard E. Grant, “Can You Ever Forgive Me?” Sam Rockwell, “Vice”

Mahershala is expected to win, and he’s really good as Don Shirley, so I’m cool with it. He is such a magnetic actor, and he carries Shirley well. It’s a pretty different type of character from Juan in Moonlight. Juan’s performance leaned in on charisma, masculinity, and tenderness. Shirley is a character reliant on dignity, sophistication, and inner rage. He nails both. He’s really good. For all the faults I have with the making of Green Book, I do really like Mahershala here. It’s pretty wild that he’s about to get his second Oscar, but hey, good for him!

You mean an actor played two different roles? Wauw.

Mahershala completely carried Green Book and filled Don Shirley with so much nuance, complexity, and integrity that he himself should’ve gotten nominated for Best Picture. He IS the movie. It’s such a shame his character was relegated to the supporting role because there’s so much awesome internal logic to Dr. Shirley that he’s fascinating to watch and Ali does a great job of bringing all of that to the forefront without having to resort to speechifying his thoughts or emotions.

I really like Driver and always like his work. He’s a unique, compelling actor in whatever role he’s in. He has more to do in BK than John David Washington’s main character, and he’s not weighed down by the romance story. There’s something really convincing in any role Driver portrays, whether it’s Kylo Ren, Adam in Girls, or his performance in Silence. I thought his performance was pretty key to the BK story.

Driver definitely brings a fun presence to BlacKkKlansman helping to achieve the delicate tonal balance Spike was looking for. I mean, not as good as the tonal balance JGL brought to Lincoln, but I digress.

Grant was really wonderful and charming, and he really carries the movie along with McCarthy. Elliott doesn’t have a ton of scenes in A Star is Born, but each scene of his was a highlight for me. His relationship with Cooper is key to the film, and I really dug it. I don’t really see why Rockwell had to get a nom here. He’s not too essential to the film, and he does a good W impersonation, but this just pales in comparison to his role last year in Three Billboards.

Ha I only skimmed that last paragraph and just furiously googled “Sam Elliott Three Billboards” because I was confused as fock. Yeah that last conversation between Cooper and Elliott was fantastic, and Elliott is great throughout as the older brother who never got quite as much ass as Jackson Maine.

We couldn’t have thrown a nod here to Michael B. Jordan instead, for his compelling (albeit polarizing) acting job in Black Panther? I also loved Brian Tyree Henry’s character in If Beale Street Could Talk. Similar short screentime to Rockwell, but way more impactful and memorable. Henry’s scenes in Beale Street are some of the best work you’ll see from last year.

Was that acting job really polarizing? We have a term for people who have negative things to say about Black Panther. They’re called...Vallelongas. Brian Tyree Henry is one of my favorite actors, so I have no doubt that he was great in Beale Street. I do want to shout him and Daniel Kaluuya out for their performances in Widows. For a story about four strong women coming together to wreck some shit, Henry and Kaluuya stole the show. And my heart.

Also want to shout out my man Beast! Not saying he should win, but his scene to hilarity ratio in The Favourite was easily 1:1. Everything in The Favourite popped, but his presence made it even poppier.

Supporting Actress: Amy Adams, “Vice” Marina de Tavira, “Roma” Regina King, “If Beale Street Could Talk” Emma Stone, “The Favourite” Rachel Weisz, “The Favourite”

I really like Regina King, and she’s pretty good in Beale Street, but I’m sorta surprised that she became the consensus pick. She doesn’t quite have as memorable a performance for me as Mahershala’s or say, Brian Tyree Henry in the same film. She’s a great actress, but there’s not a ton for her to do, and I didn’t leave that film being like WOW, that character!

Stone and Weisz seem to negate each other, unfortunately. They are both terrific. I didn’t love Stone in La La Land but she’s really fun and vicious here. Weisz is great too and has a lot of fun. I would probably give the edge to Weisz, but I’d strongly praise either performance.

Weisz was amazing as Sarah Churchill. She is definitely the centerpiece of the film, and does a wonderful job providing an axis for all the wild shit that goes down. What really elevates her performance is that she doesn’t fall into the trap of merely being the straight woman (no pun intended, seriously), and still imbues her character with loads of cunning, fire, and personality.

Stone was great as well, and I’ll say I didn’t enjoy her in La La Land either, but that’s mostly because I was watching La La Land at the time.

Amy Adams is awesome in general and good in Vice. Marina de Tavira is really good in Roma, and her nomination was a nice surprise too. Her character as the mother is really pivotal to the story, and I thought she was good at being overall likable even while sometimes being harsh.

De Tavira gives a great performance in a role that would’ve been easy to gloss over if played by another actress. She never allowed herself to become a background character or only appear as Cleo’s boss. Her story is just as dynamic and heart-rending as Cleo’s, and with less attention given to it, only a great performance would give it the weight it needed and de Tavira absolutely delivered.

Original Screenplay: “The Favourite,” Deborah Davis, Tony McNamara “First Reformed,” Paul Schrader “Green Book,” Nick Vallelonga, Brian Currie, Peter Farrelly “Roma,” Alfonso Cuarón “Vice,” Adam McKay

The Favourite seems to be… the favourite for this category.

Nice.

It’s a fun, witty script based on historical events (and it seemed to do a decent enough job being similar enough to real life!). Updating a story for the modern times in film format is no easy feat, and I really enjoyed this story.

Like I mentioned earlier, The Favourite does a great job of drawing just enough historical context while still keeping things fresh and honest, without making the story feel bastardized.

This is Paul Schrader’s first nomination, which is pretty crazy when he’s had films like Taxi Driver and Raging Bull. First Reformed has a unique, fascinating, compelling premise and story arc. It does remind me a good bit of Taxi Driver in some ways but is its own story too.

Really happy First Reformed got a little love. In a time when we’re getting nothing but remakes and sequels, a truly original story is always welcome.

I don’t want Green Book to win. As mentioned, this shit wasn’t vetted by Shirley’s family, which seems kind of important! And it’s a bit cheesy throughout. Technically speaking, it seems like the directing/editing would be better than the writing here. Vice… that story was so all over the place. McKay’s script for Big Short was way crisper and stronger. Roma is a great film, but I don’t put its screenplay up as strongly as its other technical achievements. Eighth Grade should have been nominated here and been a contender. It won at the Writers Guilds Awards (Bo’s speech is really funny too), and Bo Burnham made a brutally vulnerable, honest story about adolescence and technology.

I usually make a joke here about how movies based on actual events should be in the Adapted Screenplay category (since they’re adapted from real life!), but I guess Nick Vallelonga really took that to heart because he basically removed any shred of reality from Green Book. May as well give Bohemian Rhapsody a nod here too lol

Adapted Screenplay: “The Ballad of Buster Scruggs,” Joel Coen , Ethan Coen “BlacKkKlansman,” Charlie Wachtel, David Rabinowitz, Kevin Willmott, Spike Lee “Can You Ever Forgive Me?,” Nicole Holofcener and Jeff Whitty “If Beale Street Could Talk,” Barry Jenkins “A Star Is Born,” Eric Roth, Bradley Cooper, Will Fetters

The rules for adapted are always funny. A Star is Born is based on three previous versions, and Buster Scruggs apparently has some adapted short stories but other completely original short stories. Weird. I wouldn’t feel too strongly about Star’s screenplay since I feel like the quality in its update is more in the acting and music, versus the writing. Buster Scruggs was a mixed bag for me, with some awesome and some meh stories.

Bro, which stories were meh? Name names! There wasn’t a bad one in the damn bunch.

BK seems to be in the lead, which would be a cool win for Spike Lee (he previously received an honorary Oscar). Apparently the movie changed a lot, which I imagine was positive for movie action/plot intrigue. I feel like whatever the screenplay did with the romance didn’t really play, but I’m not really sure what else I would push alternatively.

Matt is really hating on the romance angle in BlacKkKlansman. I’ll be honest, I barely remember that aspect of the movie, so the hate is probably warranted.

Beale Street was a worthy effort, but I felt like the narrative was all over the place and wonder if Jenkins could have done a better job conveying the story in movie form. I don’t think it was an easy book to adapt, as I’ve heard with Baldwin fiction, but the product in the end doesn’t measure up to BK. As for Can You Ever Forgive Me?, I thought it was a stellar story, and also apparently people don’t think the original memoir itself was very good, so I guess it gets points for that!

Go ahead and give Jenkins the win to make up for that L* L* L*nd/Moonlight mix up back in 2017.

Best Documentary Feature: “Free Solo,” Jimmy Chin, Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi “Hale County This Morning, This Evening,” RaMell Ross “Minding the Gap,” Bing Liu “Of Fathers and Sons,” Talal Derki “RBG,” Betsy West, Julie Cohen

I’m not a big documentary guy, but they have gotten more popular (Won’t You Be Me Neighbor, Three Identical Strangers, Free Solo, and RBG all were box office documentary hits this year), and I’ve ended up checking a few more out. Won’t You Be My Neighbor was one of the most noted snubs when nominations came out, and it’s a shame it didn’t get nominated. It was beloved and had a notable cultural effect last summer, and I thought it was terrific and charming. I didn’t see Three Identical Strangers yet, but I’ve heard it considered to be a snub too, which Alex can elaborate on.

Shit I had this whole paragraph written up about Mr. Rogers, but Matt just reminded me that it didn’t get nominated. Basically the punchline was that I watched it with my parents and they just clowned Fred the whole time, which I think explains a lot.

Three Identical Strangers was great, but apparently I’m the only person who either didn’t know about the second twist or didn’t think it was that shocking/big of a deal. I gotta say, capitalizing on your 15 minutes of fame by opening a celebrity restaurant in New York City is probably the most 1988 thing ever.

Also, no love for the Pope Francis doc? Guess I’ll see the Academy in hell...as I look down from Heaven!

The betting odds seem split between Free Solo and RBG, with Solo slightly ahead. I am all about Free Solo, and I hope it wins. It’s an incredible, fascinating story. Is this guy insane for making this climb? How do we feel about him with his girlfriend? How do we feel about his girlfriend with him? How do we feel about the documentary crew filming him? Are they enabling him? Deterring him? These are really interesting dynamics throughout the story. It’s helpful that everyone involved in the story is inherently likable, and they are wondering about these same dynamics. Also, although I think most people know the fate of Alex Honnold’s climb before watching, the feat is so extraordinary and ridiculous that you will still be stressed out, nervous, and fascinated watching it.

The climbing footage is awe-inspiring. The filmmakers do a great job explaining the audacity and absurdity of the climb so that the average viewer can understand what’s going on. This is such a good documentary.

RBG the person is awesome, and I’m a big fan. But RBG the documentary is just… good? I feel like voters must have been split between this at Won’t You Be My Neighbor, and it’s hard not to compare the two, since they came out around the same time and are both about revered figures. WYBMN has really good editing and panache, and an inherent charm in talking about Mr. Rodgers’ legacy and his past. RBG feels more by-the-numbers and with less impressive editing and focus. It felt a bit short and all-over-the-place. I could have used more time on her advocacy versus her time exercising or becoming a cultural meme.

WYBMN also benefited from having tons of footage from the TV shows. RBG by comparison doesn’t have as much old footage, and with RBG alive, they do a lot more interviewing her or following her around. It’s an interesting glimpse, but doesn’t work quite as well for me. It’s a good film, and I enjoyed getting more of a look into RBG’s life. But I don’t want it to win.

Minding the Gap is the other film I saw out of this batch, and it had caught my eye after being on a few critics’ best movies lists at the end of 2018. It’s on Hulu, and it definitely wouldn’t become a box office hit. It has an indie vibe for sure, as Bing Liu, a young filmmaker, follows two friends as they grow from teenagers to young adults, along with examining his own life. The film delves deeply into masculinity, physical abuse from childhood, and identity in the Midwest. It really builds and gets stronger and stronger towards the end. There are some deep emotions that this film can evoke in the viewer, and I really felt for the story by the end. Also, a bonus is that the footage of them skateboarding is really beautiful and whimsical.

Best Foreign Language Film: “Capernaum” (Lebanon) “Cold War” (Poland) “Never Look Away” (Germany) “Roma” (Mexico) “Shoplifters” (Japan)

Roma is the clear favorite here. I almost wish that if Roma was definitely getting best picture, they could just retract its nomination here so someone else could win!

Ha that’s actually not a bad idea. These other flicks don’t stand a chance when Roma is going toe-to-toe with the entire field of movies.

I really liked Cold War and Shoplifters. I didn’t get a chance to see Capernaum or Never Look Away. Never Look Away seemed to have mixed reviews, which makes me wish that Burning (South Korea! Steven Yeun!) got the nom instead. While in the lobby post-Cold War, my friend and I saw a bunch of people left Capernaum in tears, so… that seems like it must have been good and sad?

Bro, people were crying because it SUCKED. Jk, I’m sure it’s wonderful. Also, has a foreign language film ever been nominated that wasn’t a totally depressing tearjerker? Do countries besides the U.S. and France make comedies? I know there isn’t much to laugh about in Turkmenistan or wherever, but I’m just asking.

Cold War is by the previous winner of Ida, another excellent black-and-white film. While Ida was smaller scale in time, Cold War spans a romance of two musicians over some years. It similarly tackles the repercussions of WWII and the titled Cold War on Poland. The two main characters are really captivating and dynamic to watch. The music portrayed is super fun. The challenges of the times are fascinating. My one gripe is that the film felt a bit weirdly paced at times, partly because it was covering a multitude of years, and the characters’ decisions were sometimes a bit too dubious for me.

I really dug Shoplifters too. It’s a lovely, beautiful film that ponders what a family is. The characters aren’t conventional good guys, mistakes are made, and these characters try to keep their version of a family together. Sometimes the movie is beautiful and optimistic, sometimes it’s sad and heartbreaking. I also liked how the movie was intentionally confusing about some details, to add to the storytelling aspect.

Animated Feature: “Incredibles 2,” Brad Bird “Isle of Dogs,” Wes Anderson “Mirai,” Mamoru Hosoda “Ralph Breaks the Internet,” Rich Moore, Phil Johnston “Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse,” Bob Persichetti, Peter Ramsey, Rodney Rothman

SPIDER-VERSE. All the way. That movie could have gone poorly. There is definitely a lot of Spider-man content out in the world in recent years, and the movie worked by both leaning into that and truly creating its own story to stand on. Miles Morales was an awesome main character. Peter Parker was a great side character (that was definitely a risk in storytelling). Miles’ family characters were well-portrayed (shoutout Brian Tyree Henry and Mahershala Ali, AGAIN. Those dudes kill it).

Spider-Verse might be my favorite movie of the YEAR. #2 this decade behind Moonlight and all of the X-Men films. Everything about this movie is fantastic. The characters are well-drawn (emotionally and literally), the stories are engaging, and the humor, while appropriate for all ages, doesn’t include any lame juvenile shit (unlike this blog post). Folks (myself) were legit getting emotional in the theater. Looked like a screening of Capernaum in there.

The animation was awesome. It was new and unique, making the movie feel like a comic book come to life. I think the movie had a poor box office opening because of market saturation, but it ended up grossing a respectable amount based on word of mouth and audience reception. Good! Can’t wait to see what’s next.

I’d literally never seen anything like Spider-Verse. The animation was crazy dynamic, constantly shifting between more realistic and more cartoony depending on what the situation called for. Everything about this movie from the animation, to the music, to the voices is completely fresh and inspired.

The Incredibles 2 seemed to take the box office by storm, and by the time I saw it a month or so later, I was a bit let down. The movie is a bit unsatisfying in originality after so many years. It’s still good! I had a lot of fun, and some of the action sequences were pretty exciting. It’s just not as good as Pixar’s best or the first Incredibles.

No desire to see Incredibles 2. Incredibles 1 is massively overrated and all anyone wanted to talk about from part 2 is how hot the mom was. I’m good, homie.

Isle of Dogs was really fun and charming. It was a solid Wes Anderson joint. I do wish it had more agency for some of the Asian characters, and it’s still sorta funny to me that Wes just kinda dropped in with his crew + one Asian writer for the script. But yeah, it was a really fun movie. I haven’t seen Ralph since I hadn’t gotten to the first one yet. Mirai looks like my kind of jam, but I haven’t gotten to it yet. Spiderverse all the way.

Isle of Dogs is racist as hell! Why will no one talk about it??? I feel like I’m going INSANE

Original Song: “All The Stars” from “Black Panther” by Kendrick Lamar, SZA “I’ll Fight” from “RBG” by Diane Warren, Jennifer Hudson “The Place Where Lost Things Go” from “Mary Poppins Returns” by Marc Shaiman, Scott Wittman “Shallow” from “A Star Is Born” by Lady Gaga, Mark Ronson, Anthony Rossomando, Andrew Wyatt and Benjamin Rice “When A Cowboy Trades His Spurs For Wings” from “The Ballad of Buster Scruggs” by David Rawlings and Gillian Welch

Shallow is such a heavyweight here. That song is the classic from a soundtrack of lots of good songs. It’s perfect for their relationship in the story, and it’s the best scene in the film when she comes onstage to sing it. I hope they crush it live on stage. Get it, Bradley!

Would’ve loved for “Why Did You Do That?” to get an ironic nomination here. Man that song was ass. “Shallow” is a good song and plays an important role in the movie, so I’m not upset at all if it wins, but yo that part where they’re just like “Sha-la-la-la-la-low” is weak as hell. Should’ve ponied up for Jason Isbell to get the late checkout time, maybe he could’ve done something there.

Hot take: “When a Cowboy Trades His Spurs for Wings” is a MUCH better song.

Man, the Mary Poppins’ new songs were pretty disappointing. Maybe they should have gotten Lin involved in the writing. The Buster Scruggs song is pretty goofy and funny, and All the Stars is a fun anthem.

All the Stars is a fresh track, I wouldn’t be mad at it pulling an upset.

Original Score: “BlacKkKlansman,” Terence Blanchard “Black Panther,” Ludwig Goransson “If Beale Street Could Talk,” Nicholas Britell “Isle of Dogs,” Alexandre Desplat “Mary Poppins Returns,” Marc Shaiman, Scott Wittman

Feels like First Man got snubbed here bigtime. That score was really good, and it seemed like a favorite before nominations came out. I’d root for Brittell’s score. His work was beautiful in this (and in Moonlight), so a win would be cool. I generally like Desplat’s whimsy, but I don’t remember much about the score here. Black Panther’s was cool, though I feel like it was more about the songs on the soundtrack versus Ludwig’s score. Ludwig is the man though. I wouldn’t hate him getting it.

Good point about Black Panther’s strength lying in its songs instead of the soundtrack. Really disappointed in Sicario 2 overall, but especially in its score. Sicario 1 had the hottest score of the year when it dropped, but much like everything else about Sicario 2, it didn’t deliver.

Sound Editing: “Black Panther,” Benjamin A. Burtt, Steve Boeddeker “Bohemian Rhapsody,” John Warhurst “First Man,” Ai-Ling Lee, Mildred Iatrou Morgan “A Quiet Place,” Ethan Van der Ryn, Erik Aadahl “Roma,” Sergio Diaz, Skip Lievsay

Sound Mixing: “Black Panther” “Bohemian Rhapsody” “First Man” “Roma” “A Star Is Born”

This confuses me every year. Here’s a good article for the differences. Basically, sound editing awards effects (think, creating gunfire/explosion noise for a war/action movie). while sound mixing awards the soundscape/all the sounds mixed together.

So with that in mind… these categories seem to have less predictable winners, and I see that the sound editing leaders are currently First Man and A Quiet Place. I’d give props to First Man here, for doing work with the space exploration. A Quiet Place is interesting since it had to use its sound so effectively and specifically.

How you gonna award A Quiet Place for its SOUND? Smh

As for sound mixing, I really dug watching Roma in theaters. You could hear sounds, birds chirping, and it felt like you were on the street in the neighborhood of Roma.

It’s almost like you can really *hear* the dogshit squishing between the kids’ toes on the pavement.

Now, it appears that Gold Derby leans towards three options: A Star is Born, First Man, or Bohemian Rhapsody. I feel like BR relied a lot on pre-done recordings unrelated to filming, so I’m not sure about that one (though I suppose that’s the point of sound mixing, I dunno… look, I just don’t want it to win -- lmao same bro). A Star is Born had to deal with live music! It’s way more worthy.

Visual Effects: “Avengers: Infinity War” “Christopher Robin” “First Man” “Ready Player One” “Solo: A Star Wars Story”

This is easily Infinity War. Relying on Thanos as a main character meant a ton of work, and if you remember his cameos in Guardians or the Avengers post-credits, you know that he looked better here and much more fully realized. He was a mammoth, a threat, and the visual portrayal was well done. His fight against Hulk, his fight against Doctor Strange, some awesome FX. Having to weave in tons of comic characters was no easy feat too, with Falcon and War Machine fighting in the sky while Groot, Rocket, and Cap are on the ground against those bad guys.

Avengers all the way. Having a lame-looking Thanos would’ve nuked the whole movie (people are STILL talking about Superman’s CGI shave), but they knocked it out of the park. Infinity War had to be a huge undertaking, as it’s a million superheroes pulling out all the stops for like 6 hours. Kinda surprised Black Panther didn’t get any love here for similar reasons.

Ready Player One had a lot of fun effects too. It had to rely a lot on video game storytelling, and the adventure of it was pretty fun and well-done. Solo was fine.

I honestly had to ruminate for like five minutes to remember if I saw Solo or not. I think “fine” is the most accurate possible description of any aspect of Solo.

First Man was quality. I dug their comments on how there is no way they could have faked the moon landing considering how hard it is now to even try to demonstrate that in a fictional film.

That’s what they want you to think, sheeple!!!

Christopher Robin? Wasn’t that bear real?? What are you trying to say???

Realest bear since the one that took Leo’s ass in The Revenant.

Production Design: “Black Panther,” Hannah Beachler “First Man,” Nathan Crowley, Kathy Lucas “The Favourite,” Fiona Crombie, Alice Felton “Mary Poppins Returns,” John Myhre, Gordon Sim “Roma,” Eugenio Caballero, Bárbara Enrı́quez

Costume Design: “The Ballad of Buster Scruggs,” Mary Zophres “Black Panther,” Ruth E. Carter “The Favourite,” Sandy Powell “Mary Poppins Returns,” Sandy Powell “Mary Queen of Scots,” Alexandra Byrne

Black Panther was sick. Weaving in futuristic elements with African culture. The sets were wild. The costumes were fantastic. The Favourite did a good job doing the royal vibe too. The NASA production that they had to recreate in First Man made it feel really authentic. Same for Roma. Lots of good stuff here.

Agreed on Black Panther for all the reasons Matt mentions, but I think you gotta go with The Favourite here. Those people looked like they STUNK. Just fucking gross all the way around -- and it was PERFECT.

The Ballad of Buster Scruggs and Roma had great design as well. As an anthology, Buster Scruggs had the added degree of difficulty of making sure every story appeared distinct enough while maintaining the overall look and feel of the movie.

Makeup and Hair: “Border” “Mary Queen of Scots” “Vice”

I mean, you saw Christian Bale as Dick Cheney. Lock this up.

Clink-clink!

Animated Short: “Animal Behaviour,” Alison Snowden, David Fine “Bao,” Domee Shi “Late Afternoon,” Louise Bagnall “One Small Step,” Andrew Chesworth, Bobby Pontillas “Weekends,” Trevor Jimenez

“Weekends” by Trevor Jimenez sounds like a banger of an R&B album.

Best Documentary Short Subject: “Black Sheep,” Ed Perkins “End Game,” Rob Epstein, Jeffrey Friedman “Lifeboat,” Skye Fitzgerald “A Night at the Garden,” Marshall Curry “Period. End of Sentence.,” Rayka Zehtabchi

Best Live Action Short Film: “Detainment,” Vincent Lambe “Fauve,” Jeremy Comte “Marguerite,” Marianne Farley “Mother,” Rodrigo Sorogoyen “Skin,” Guy Nattiv

Bao was a fun, sweet short that had some nice Asian representation… that’s all I got.

I’ll be watching the documentary shorts the night before the Oscars, but wanted to get this post up before then, so if you want my thoughts on those nominees, holla at ya boy.

As for everything else? I probably agree with Matt.

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