#he likes more classical music like a fuckin nerd

[chocotonez]

skz as high school cliches

a/n: awww this request was so cute n fun <3 all of these are in the context that y/n and skz are datinf

warnings/genre: fluff, really fluffy, cursing here n there, felix is a nerd but everyone loves him

chan

-Student council president and the classic jock

-soccer team captain, he’s always on top of things, teachers love him

-everyone’s surprised when he says he wants to go into music, but just like everything else, he’s amazing w a guitar and his VOICEEE <333

-everyone hates you two because he fuckin serenades you and shows you off 25/8, writes songs for you and leaves them in your locker and posts you on his social media story like everyday

-he tends to overwork himself, and YOUU you’re just the light at the end of the tunnel for him, you’re his energy shot, he literally needs you to function in the morning LMAO

-probably dress codes you just to see you and then kiss you while you “look” for clothes in the discipline office

-can b v cheeky but he always gets away with it because he’s cute and his stellar performance in literally everything is too good for the school’s reputation

-you guys are definitely the it couple, although you two also love to make it obvious ur dating in the hallway. pls take it somewhere else people are trying to get to class

lee know

-I feel like he’s the annoying boy who sits next to you in class that always teases you endearingly and scribbles on your paper

-compliments your outfits, plays with your fingers during lectures, and always gets called out for admiring you

-during work time he is…so…loves to poke you and just draw on your paper and is all over you

-whenever there’s partner work he immediately grabs your arm like you two don’t sit next to each other LMAO

-he can definitely come off as intimidating to other people, brooding look and so very attractive, and yet you come into the room and he’s just this little fly you’re swatting at all the time

-a little shit but so fucking funny, like the loud kid in class who’s just too funny to hate. probably acts all lovey dovey to embarrass you but then blushes whenever you kiss his cheek

-whenever you give him little trinkets, gum wrapper hearts or little notes you passed during class, he keeps them in his binder and while all his friends clown him for being whipped, he loves just looking at them and he’s so thankful for u and he just LOVES U <333 and he also loves annoying you xoxo

changbin

-class clown but very endearing -loves his friends sm, and loves u even more!! -never switches up on you, he always treats you with respect even if you're gone -most dramatic about your relationship, sighing and saying he misses his s/o, posting imy on his social media stories, whining if he doesnt get the attention he deserves -everyone calls him a simp and he will deny it but its so true -teachers love him even though his grades aren't exactly teacher's pet worthy, some of the teachers always comment on how cute u two are -picks you up after school/gives you a ride, you both get some snacks from a local bakery </3 -oh i just realized the format looks different anyways, always paying for ur dates and treating you like royalty, he puts a lot of effort into the relationship -he can be a little overbearing at times esp for a high school relationship, but he just loves you a lot and wants to express it </3 hyunjin

-the art teacher's favorite, creative department's pride -he's kinda quiet and soft spoken, not only in interaction but in love -draws you in his sketchbook, doodles on your hand, writes "ily" on sticky notes 4 u -his favorite thing is to have u sitting in the art room while he works, you help inspire him and its honestly really calming for him!! -his friends are kinda loud, but its entertaining to watch him let loose and get a little chaotic teehee

-he loves you cuz he can relax with you, he likes to come over and just cuddle while watching a movie, shoving away your homework -only goes to school for you n other close friends -he's really talented in almost every artform, you're so lucky because his promposal is genius wordplay -i however am not a poet so that's up for your imagination -paints your nails, does the thing where ur nail color will match his pinky nail :,) -walks you to class no matter how late it makes him, attendance office hates him -if you do competitive extracurriculars, he draws an obscenely large sign -he can be introverted and reclusive, but he never shies away from supporting you, as you always support him

han

-the kid who reads announcements and is on the school news -probably goes around interviewing students with stupid questions for a tiktok bit -"Debate club meeting this afternoon, I'll be busy on a date with my s/o!" and everyone in class looks at u -ofc he'll ask if you're comfy with his corny, very public jokes, and if you are he is so !!! :D -posts rants on his private story about how cute you are -uses his announcement kid privilege to just stop by your class to "collect information" but he spends like ten minutes talking to you while the teacher is just glaring at him -the radio teacher always has to email an apology but he's too good </3 he wakes up the whole school -please do not ask him for help w homework, he's a great cheerleader but oh goodness gracious

-if anything you're gonna be tutoring him -but he appreciates it so much!! -his friends are v tired of hearing about you, but Han makes sure you feel comfortable with them so you all actually have a ton of fun hanging out -when he's working cameras at a school event he always waves frantically at you or yells your name really loudly teehee -he's always excited to express his love for you, for everyone to see, because you're just!! so!! perf to him!!

felix

-brings you baked goods almost every day, excels in school, sweet to everyone, super smiley, everyone loves him he's just so cute! -but w you,,,he gets to be himself, he gets to make slightly rude jokes, he gets to express how much he dislikes someone, he gets to voice his complaints, and having someone like you listen is more than he could ask for -everyone thinks you're the sweetest couple ever, he always has to be holding your hand !! loves it when you hold his arm because he feels like he's strong and protecting you (from what?? no clue, maybe calculus) -being so candid with you is relieving, as he always feels there's a lot of pressure on him to act and perform a certain way. he's just the sunshiney good kid -obviously you're not a bad influence on him (I think), but you allow him to express himself more freely without fear, you give him confidence

-in exchange, he always listens to you, and he gives amazing advice -also makes amazing strawberry scones <3 -his social media feed is probably just really aesthetic photos of you, his profile is just a fanpage LMAO -always blows a kiss when he sees you in the hallway, all of his friends teasing him -he wants to express his love for you, and you give him the courage to do so seungmin

-not the mom friend, but the uncle friend -always saying weird jokes, asking interesting questions that makes you think, his mind is really abstract but he's also so funny lmao -you two can't sit together in class because when he laughs, you laugh, and then the teacher yells. sigh -teases you so much, texts you during class so your phone goes off, leaving overly cheesy notes in your locker that makes you question his dignity, all his photos of you two are kinda blurry because he's probably giggling while taking it so his body is shakey :( -pays for ur lunch or packs extra snacks for you -begrudgingly gives you his hw or notes you can copy off of -"can i have some of your water" and then he proceeds to CHUG it -his humor is great, but what attracts you is such a fascinating mind. he asks such interesting questions that make you giggle and then go hmmm -"if this world is a simulation, why is it so stagnant? do our controllers speed time up for them, but we don't experience it? like the sims??" -you guys have matching keychains which is so cute and everyone sees them in the hallway and cry because they're lonely -he always makes you smile, he's someone you just connect with and you can laugh with, and he feels the exact same way about you <3 jeongin

-baby face but kinda mean tbh TT -grouchy towards everyone but you kinda trope -sneaks through your window to surprise you with convenience store snacks and his unfinished homework he needs your help on -would smack a bitch if someone said anything bad about you -always looks out for you, he feeds you at lunch, carries an extra pencil just in case, he even tries in class so you don't worry about him falling behind -the best part is that he does his best to take care of himself so he can take care of you, it makes him feel like he's in charge!! -trash sleep schedule but at least you get to wake up to 100+ messages in the morning that span from paragraphs of proclamations of love to a roblox roleplay story video -he doesn't love PDA too much esp in the hallways but he kisses the top of your head when he leaves for class -talks and gushes about you to his friend and his favorite teachers but like makes them pinky promise they don't expose how whipped he is for you -he wants to be cool and mysterious to impress you, but you always reassure him you love him just how he is -that's why he loves you, you make him love himself

[thedreadvampy]

so I have been thinking about why I hated the Spock Is Turned Human episode of SNW so much and I think I've nailed it down

cause like. Vulcans are a specific flavour of autistic, right?

Throughout 60 years of Star Trek, and particularly through Strange New Worlds, we've had it impressed on us that Vulcans absolutely do not feel less than humans. On the contrary, the reason that Vulcans prize logic, ritual and objectivity is that their emotions are deeply intense and overwhelming. In fact, like one episode prior and in the fuckin. Previously On... for this episode, Spock's saying "Vulcan emotion is too intense to handle and what might happen if I don't suppress it scares me."

It's made repeatedly, explicitly, clear that Vulcan emotional detachment is a choice and a cultural practise. It's made directly clear as well that Vulcans don't experience the world as less intense or emotional than humans; they work from birth to suppress it, it's a learned practice.

And they've leant into this really hard elsewhere in SNW! They've talked about Vulcans choosing to reject logic and act on emotion, Spock's seasons-long arc is about his fear of his own emotions - he's even specifically brought up that he hasn't undergone Kolinahr and therefore is suppressing his emotional state only through conscious practice.

but this episode. is a story about someone who's physiologically less able to feel being "humanised" - experiencing touch, taste, laughter and feeling more strongly than they have before.

That's a Data story. Not a Spock one.

Like I get what they're trying to do - push Spock into dealing directly with his human side, empathise with Amanda's strength, etc - but the way they do it conflicts really directly with everything we know about Vulcans, and also kind of confirms Vulcan bias against Spock's humanity by establishing that yes actually regardless of upbringing humans just Are Wired Wrong for Vulcan society. which is weird actually because both Amanda and Michael, humans raised outside Vulcan, can handle Vulcan societal expectations, but Spock, raised fully in the culture, struggles to and has to have everything explained to him.

And also the way they do it I found really uncomfortable and, you know, dehumanising. We're shown a version of Spock who isn't managing his emotions through discipline and will, but who just Doesn't Have Them That Much and, when given the Normal amount of feelings, goes hog wild and is functionally a child with no self-control.

There's a scene where they explicitly say he's functionally a teenager! As if he's not already been through a human adolescence!

Everyone of every species, not just human, is suddenly lecturing him on the nature of Feeling Things, which he receives as new information! despite the fact we know that managing his emotions has been a constant struggle for Spock! and we know that Spock (like other Vulcans) likes food and music and has a sense of humour and experiences friendship and anger and frustration and love.

and I think it speaks to a deeply neuronormative kind of infantalisation - he isn't reacting to emotion the way Normal (here: human) people do so it must be because he doesn't feel it at all. he isn't vegetarian he just hasn't experienced how Bacon bacon is. he isn't suppressing his distress it just isn't there. he doesn't have a different cultural relationship to humour he just Can't Laugh.

like the 'inhuman entity experiences human emotion' plotline is a Star Trek classic and it's usually a fun time - it's fun with Q and with Data and with Odo et al. but it doesn't work with Spock because we know that Vulcans aren't less physiologically capable of emotion than humans, they're less culturally willing to engage with emotion. And that's specifically because they're more sensitive to strong feeling than humans.

like yeah this is nerd griping, but it's also just very galling from an autistic perspective (the same way that having Spock go bacon-mad this episode seems to have been pretty galling from a Jewish perspective). Something that's always been very resonant about Vulcans and Spock specifically with a lot of autistic people is that experience of feeling things so deeply and strongly that you have to develop a sometimes overly-strict discipline of emotional management and cut yourself off from them entirely, and it is often mistaken by those around you as being unfeeling or numb. And the way Spock is portrayed consistently acknowledges that that's not what it is, that it's an (often maladaptive but necessary) practice that's active work in order to fit into a society that doesn't have space for the scale of your emotions or where your emotions might be a risk. And that you can learn to retain the parts that help you but still make close emotional connections through that barrier.

Idk this episode doesn't understand Vulcans which is really frustrating particularly for an episode entirely about Vulcans. It doesn't make sense that being turned human would fully undermine Spock's ability to behave as Vulcan the way it does unless your position is that Vulcans are inherently more numb to feeling than humans, which is explicitly not the case - and the message of the end of the episode partially rests on the idea that it's bigoted to assume his humanity makes him less Vulcan, especially since Amanda is able to perform Vulcanness well, except the entire precept of the episode and its shenanigans are that his humanity does intrinsically prevent him performing his cultural heritage properly and make him irrational and reactive. Like, the episode's failure to understand Why Vulcans Work doesn't just conflict with the rest of the show, it also leaves this episode a chaotic mess cause A doesn't in any way feed into B.

also unrelatedly T'Pring Did Nothing Wrong and she's so right, Spock is a wee bitch.

[c0ffeecr0w]

South Park Headcanons (Updated)

Redoing this cuz I thought my old was wasn't good These are mostly Highschool HCs of the main 4, Craig and Tweek I'll do more of Craig's gang and a few others soon

Stan

Raging bisexual and has no pref (He/Him)

Had a non binary phase in middle school but doesn't mind being called "They" at times when anyone addresses only him

Dark blue eyes

Fashion sometimes inspired Goth and Punk. He wears cross earrings/necklaces, black clothes and paints his nails black

Wants to have a career in music but Randy wants him to inherit the Tegridy business

Has a crush on Kyle but Kyle mostly sees him as his super best friend

Has almost always never left a party sober

Mostly shares his music tastes with Kyle and Kenny

Grunge/Metalhead

Broke up with Wendy in middle school but are still good friends and give each other advise on relationships and look out for each other

She gave him a friendship bracelet in 3rd grade but he took it off cuz he didn't wanna wear it all the time. He keeps it on his backpack zipper and so does Wendy

Hates blood. He can't watch a horror movie cuz of it, even if it's fake, he still gets sick from seeing so much of it

Flexitarian

Loves Metal, Goth, Grunge, Alt Rock, Indie music but will enjoy anything except Country and Dubstep

Greasy motherfucker

Part Mexican/Spanish, which his father is proud of

He's a bit pudgy but isn't noticeable unless he's wearing tight clothes

Kyle

Bi-Asexual with a female pref, somewhere on the ace spectrum (He/Him)

Forest green eyes

Gets cold and sick easily

Tallest of Stan's gang

Athletic

Has anger issues, even when Cartman isn't around bothering him. Blame his parents lol

Studies a lot (fuckin nerd)

Listens to Classical, New Wave, Punk and Lo-Fi Hip Hop. Hates most modern music

Enjoys The Cure and Joy Divison despite not liking the Goth subculture. Stan sometimes makes fun of him for it

Coffee addict

He's a lightweight, so he'd get really drunk from a single shot

Really enjoys autumn

He and Stan are the only ones who own cars. He lets anyone ride with him except Cartman

Germophobe

Cartman

Genderfluid (He/She, would say Nor/Mal) and a closeted gay/bi

Heterochromatic (Brown and light blue/purple)

Still an asshole but not as bad as before

Goes to therapy weekly. Has ASPD

Loves the Harry Potter and Twilight films

Also loves chickflicks and Disney films (so does Butters). He's also watched almost every cheesy Rom Com cuz of his mom and loves the hell outta them XD

90% of his Spotify playlist is Pop and Rap music. Loves Justin Timblerlake, Lady Gaga, Melanie Martinez, Blondie, Post Malone, ecc.

BFFs with Shelley, Butters and Kenny

Hangs out with Stan separately when Kyle isn't around

Loves cats, raccoons, sharks and dinosaurs

Has a good skincare routine. Also soft cuz of his mom's genes

Does drag

Has a Twitch and Reddit account. Either talks about makeup or skincare products or gaming

Kenny

Pansexual/Omni and Genderfluid (He/She/They)

Light blue/purple eyes

Grows his hair out in the winter and lets Karen do whatever with it (dyeing, braiding, adding hairclips, ecc)

Has scars all over his body

Piercings given by Stan

Gets along with everyone

Lets nobody fuck with Karen. He'll go Mysterion on your ass

Loves action/superhero & horror movies

Tans from being outside often from working

Listens to almost anything but has a soft spot for Metal, Hip Hop, Bossa Nova and Rave

He had a Nightcore phase at some point

Has tried every drug known to man (Crack, heroin, ecstasy, ecc)

Works 3 months in the summer. Either from McDonalds or Subways or as an offer by someone like one of his friends or as a performance (singing, as a dare, working for someone else, ecc)

Doesn't smoke near Karen

Has a high spice tolerance

Butters

Bi/pansexual and Bigender (He/She)

Light blue eyes

BFFS with Kenny and Cartman. Has a good relationship with everyone else, including Stan, Kyle, Craig and Tweek

Likes Hello Kitty, Animal Crossing, Minecraft, Stardew Valley,

Gave Kenny Garfield merch after he gave him a Hello Kitty plsuh from an arcade with 2/3 of the money he saved up from his summer job

Wanted to grow his hair but his parents thought it'd make him look too girly, so instead he puts his Marjorine wig on

Marjorine became part of his identity after going through gender dysphoria. It then not only just became a way to leave his parents' without them knowing

Works as a Restaurant waiter. Formerly a florist

Babysits Karen when Kenny isn't home

Loves Pop, Hip Hop and EDM. Loves Melanie Martinez and Tyler The Creator thanks to Eric and Kenny

Does origami and painting as a side hobby. Loves arts & crafts

Actually likes the High School Musical films. Kenny watched them with him cuz no one else would

Has a collection of Hello Kitty/Sanrio merch

Plays a rhythm game like DDR or In The Groove and gets an A every time

LGBT/Other

Stan is 5'9, Kyle is 6'0, Cartman is 5'5, Kenny is 5'11 and Butters is 5'10

Kenny and Cartman have funny contact nicknames for their friends. Ex. Cartman has Kenny as "Poor Kid", while Kenny has Stan as "Cup Of Depresso" jokingly, though Stan isn't aware of it but he might find it funny since he knows Kenny's sense of humour. Rest of the 3 have Cartman as "Fatass" or "Doughboy" unsurprisingly

[eleanorfenyxwrites]

Random Idea junk drawer

So I had a great time doing my Wangxian-centric Breath of the Wild AU last year, and when I finished it I definitely left the epilogue open-ended enough to do more Zelda AU’s/Fusions in the future (I still don’t REALLY know how big the difference is between AU’s and Fusions and which one my other-content-inspired stuff usually counts as but I DIGRESS) because here’s the thing. The Thing(TM). Zelda games are my JAM. They were baby’s first special interest. Literally.

When I was 7 years old my parents bought a GameCube and a game disk that had 4 remastered Classic Zelda games on it (two 2D, two 3D) as well as a 20-minute playable demo for Wind Waker, with three different starting locations to choose from that you could play as many times as you wanted. And you bet my little 7-year-old ass played every bit of it that was within my skill level (which was not much lol), until I got my next Zelda game at 10 (that was Twilight Princess, and it was the first Zelda game I ever finished). I have the Wii walkthrough book for Twilight Princess that I bought used online and it reeked of cigarettes for months after I got it. I chose a screenshot of one of the characters out of it to paint on one of those horrible school industrial ceiling tiles in my 8th grade art class (sadly the photo of it is lost on an old dead phone, but it was really good, I mixed up all my own custom colors of paint and everything which was like. Impressive for 13 year old me :( ). I have and treasure the Hyrule Historia book. I had shitty ill-fitting graphic tees that said things like ‘Good things come to those who break clay pots’ (really funny to me now that I’m a ceramicist and could easily make pots for myself for the purpose of smashing if I were so inclined [I’m totally gonna]). I have massive Zelda tattoos on the insides of both forearms and I’m planning more so that I’ll hopefully end up with two Zelda half-sleeves. Like ZELDA IS MY THING. WHY I’m not writing more Zelda AU’s and playing around in my expanded sandbox of hyperfixations, I have no idea.

But anyway, I’ve started playing Ocarina of Time again, I have no idea how many times I’ve played it at this point within the last 19 years, and I’ve done it on every Nintendo console possible (except, ironically, the N64 as it was originally made for). So obviously I’m playing along and getting lost in the story because it’s a fuckin good story, as one does, and I was like ‘hey what if Wangxian tho’ and thus. Today’s junk drawer was born. Have I already started an outline of the fic plot points as well? Yes. Did I have to stop myself 800 words in and say that no I can’t just write out the entire plot tonight and no it can’t all go into this junk drawer post because I should actually just write the damn thing instead? Yeah. When will that happen? I don’t wanna think about it, so let’s just have fun talking characters and locations and their implications, shall we?

I’m going to post my notes completely unedited and let y’all see the whole ugly process, and I’m gonna put it below the cut because this is already long enough to scroll past but all I’ve done is gush about Zelda and in doing so further cement my well-established status as a huge fuckin nerd lol:

Jiangs/Lotus Pier as Kokiri Forest -- Deku Tree is Jiang Fengmian (Does this make Madam Yu the giant nasty spider inside????? ew)

- Wei Wuxian -- taken into LP/Kokiri Forest as a young child, young enough to fit in with the other children, but he'll soon be old enough for everyone to know that he isn't one of the lake/river children, he's from Elsewhere. - Jiang Cheng as Mido, small and angry and won't let anyone see JFM/YZY without really fucking good reason but also takes the leadership role in LP/Kokiri Forest once JFM/Deku Tree is dead - Jiang Yanli as Saria, gentle and sweet and fond of music and wandering through the woods that keep their lake hidden from the rest of the world. She'll awaken as a Sage in WWX's adulthood.

Cloud Recesses as Hyrule Castle, Lans are the Royal Family and Sheikah combined

- Lan Qiren as the king of Hyrule, though as the second brother he's supposed to be leading the Sheikah, not sitting on the throne - Lan Xichen (already in his 20's) as Impa. He'll awaken as a Sage in WWX's adulthood. Although he's supposed to be in line for the throne, someone has to be the leader of the Sheikah since LQR can't be, which leaves: - Lan Zhan as Princess Zelda -- plagued by dreams and visions of evil coming to take over the world, but no one takes him seriously because he's still so young. People also forget that in the line of succession he's supposed to be the one protecting the royal family as the next leader of the Sheikah, so it's actually his destiny to have these visions, not to be a politician. He sees in Wei Wuxian someone who's willing to break the rules and society's expectations to be the true hero he's been dreaming about. He'll take up the extremely active role of Wangji/Sheik as an adult, having learnt the Sheikah secrets under Lan Xichen's tutelage and taken up his rightful place as one of them since his escape from the palace as a child.

Kakariko Village -- inhabited by average people (akin to Caiyi town, close with the royal Lan family but not directly cultivators?)

Nies as Gorons in Death Mountain/Goron City/Nie Fortress

- Nie Mingjue as Darunia -- hot-tempered and built like the mountain, willing to swear brotherhood with the boy who came to save his people. He'll awaken as a Sage in WWX's adulthood. (NHS as the snot-nosed kid who hero-worships WWX in adulthood? lol)

Jins/Jinlintai as Zora's Domain -- The Zora are a proud people who live high above the rest of Hyrule at the top of their waterfall (tower). (Golden Carp Tower has a lot of water motifs and they decorate things in teal and gold like the zora do too)

- Jin Guangshan as King Zora - Jin Zixuan as Princess Ruto, eaten by their deity god (who is still a giant fuckin fish, I dunno what else he could be lol) and who thinks he has to be engaged to WWX after giving him the Sapphire (maybe because he was told from a young age he'd have to get engaged to one of the lake children anyway and just didn't know who/hint at unrealized Xuanli?) He'll awaken as a Sage in WWX's adulthood. - Jin Guangyao as (????? :( :( :( where will my boy go?? I need my boy for emotional support)

Wen Ruohan as Ganondorf -- a cruel king wreathed in shadow and flame....I mean it writes itself lol

- Baoshan Sanren as Rauru, the Sage of Light -- withdrew from the mortal world an unknowable amount of time ago to protect the Sacred Realm and has watched over WWX these last seven years as he slept. - Jiang Yanli as Saria, the Sage of Forest -- she awakens into her powers to protect her childhood friend/brother(s), though this will mean having to leave Jiang Cheng on his own in Lotus Pier - Nie Mingjue as Darunia, the Sage of Fire -- he awakens as a sage to honor the Brotherhood oath he swore with WWX in the past - Jin Zixuan as Princess Ruto, the Sage of Water -- he 'dumps' WWX because he has to do the more important work of stopping the apocalypse, try to contain your disappointment WWX, you can still be coworkers and save the world or whatever, if you even care. - Lan Xichen as Impa, the Sage of Shadow -- Lan Xichen must leave the mortal world behind to take up his mantle as the Sage of Shadow, leaving Lan Wangji to carry his worldly responsibilities instead (sort of half-retreating into seclusion like canon) - Wen Qing as Nabooru, the Sage of Spirit -- Wen Qing is the leader of the all-female band of Gerudo thieves who in no way endorse Wen Ruohan's domination of the world. When she leaves to take up her role as the Sage of Spirit, she leaves her cousin Wen Yun (my OC Madam Lan) to lead the Gerudo in her stead. (need to find a role for Wen Ning? Except zelda lore is that only one man is born to the Gerudo at a time every hundred years and he’s always their king. Maybe WN is meant to be the new one but WRH has reached immortality/won’t die and let him succeed him?)

Plot would follow Ocarina of Time fairly closely (Unlike my BOTW AU where I tried to make it...relatively more like canon??) because there's a very definite plot there, while BOTW is so much more fluid it was easier to adapt to something else.

[z3nitsusgf]

Imagine nerdy Albedo taking a shower and the reader being a little shit and never leaving him alone. Like her walking in on him purposely, Albedo not really noticing bc he's tired and the sound of running water is loud in the shower, the reader randomly joining him and startling him by slapping his ass. Obviously Albedo is flustered from the readers action and seeing her naked under the running water eyeing him as well, he couldn't get more flustered turning away a little so she won't see his flushed face and boner. The reader making her way closer to him, almost pressing herself on him, touching him and pinning him on the bathroom wall and then.. well it's probably obvious ehe~

This is so cute :3 (he’s a lot more fun and open in this than I originally planned but I don’t think anyone minds)

cw: lots of teasing hehe, god the fluff is unbearably toothrotting, shower sex, hand job (m. receiving), making out, pussy/thigh job, afab fem. reader, pretty girl nickname

The steam coats the entire bathroom, heats up the cool tile ‘til little droplets coat the blue tiled walls. Albedo hums, corded muscle drooping under the fresh stream of heated water that rushes over his face and drips down his back. The rushing of the pipes and the faint hissing of the water heater as it pumps gallons into the shower covers the click of the door.

That, and the classical music that flows from his speaker on the counter and reverberates softly around the washroom. The thrum of violin and harp covering the soft padding of your footsteps making their way into the room, or how you gently peel of your clothes and set them on the edge of the sink.

Albedo stands with his face towards to jet of water, eyes closed as he lets it dampen his hair. His backside completely exposed. Head tilted back, letting the water catch his neck, the warm spreading over his body. So he doesn’t see the way you slowly open the glass door, the music and water pelting the tile covering the small suction cup sound. He can feel a shift in the air, the cool from the outside breezing in just a bit, but he ignores it.

He’s so oblivious to your presence he doesn’t even know you’re there until he feels a red hot sting on his ass and he’s doubling forward with a cry, hands immediately pressing against the tiled walls in front of him as jerks his head around his wide watery eyes, “what the fuck!” He yelps, the skin of his ass turning a bright shade of carmine from your hard smack. And he can hear your giggle, as you mockingly rub at the skin.

“M’sorry, m’sorry, it was too good to resist.” You coo, palming over the hot skin as you press your naked chest to his back. And Albedo can’t help the twitch in his stomach at the way your slick skin feels against him. Soft mounds squishing over his back making him shiver as you give the globe a particularly hard squeeze. It’s getting him hard, blood rushing to his cock, as you nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck and make sloppy kisses on his neck.

“You know 2.5 gallons of water are wasted every minute we’re in here.” He states, matter of fact, as your hands trail towards the stiffening length in front.

Albedo jerks a bit, whining out with a mewl when your fingers curl around the soft skin of his cock, tummy pooling in arousal, and he lurches forward. Snatching your wrist and bringing it up so you won’t wrap greedy fingers around his sensitive length and waste anymore water.

You giggle right over his shoulder and he groans at how you press your chest against his back, feels your hardening nipples drag across his skin, and shivers, “God, you’re such a fuckin’ nerd-“ you mumble, the vibrations purring over his naked skin.

“Hey-“ Albedo spins around and grabs at your waist, pulling you into the stream of water, smiling at your surprised squeal. “Be nice.” Palm scooping down to cup your cheek, and squeezing as you squirm in his hold. “Oh, when’d you get so bold.” You purr, leaning your forehead against his, the residual steam making your heads cloudy as you feel his stiffened length press against your tummy.

“Mean, you’re so mean to me.” He mumbles across your mouth hotly. No malice underlies his tone, in fact Albedo grinds his hard on harder against your slick bodies, and you whine against his mouth. The erection length throbs against your tummy and makes you drip, hips shifting as you try to get him to move.

“Dork. Maybe if you weren’t such a little crybaby I wouldn’t be-“ you whimper, cut off when he slips the slick tip between your puffy folds unexpectedly, catching your clit. “If I remember correctly, you came into my shower, so I dunno what you’re on about.” Albedo hums, puckering his lips and pressing them against your gasping mouth, kissing down your wet neck as he slips his cock between your slick pussy.

You shiver, the feeling of him splitting your folds and spreading your slick making you drip down his length to his already gleaming patch of wet hair that sits at the base of his cock. The grip on your hips doesn’t cease as he sucks and kisses sloppily up and down your neck. He doesn’t push in, simply keeping the steady pace in between your thighs that makes you wobble and grasp his shoulders.

“Bedo- please,” whining at the emptiness, the throb in your tummy aches for more and you feel him smile against your collarbone. The subtle shake to your thighs as his silky tip grinds smoothly across your pulsing clit, making you buck froward to meet his own thrusts. The steamy shower is making you light headed and that much more slick, the hot water dripping over the two of you.

“I dunno… we’re kinda wasting a lotta water.” He sighs, pretending like he gives a damn, scooting his hips back like he’s going to move away. And it makes you rush to meet him, gripping onto his shoulders and hugging him with a choked whimper.

“You fucking jerk, don’t you dare.” You moan into his, sliding your hands down to grip his hips and pull him in, making Albedo falter in his stride, the way your cushiony folds envelop his tip make his mouth water, how you slide back and forth on his shaft, the velvety walls of your pussy wrapped around his cock make him shiver, and Albedo is already on the path of coming on your cunt.

You squeeze your thighs tighter, you can feel each vein rub and catch along your twitchy clit, the feeling of him splitting you apart but feeling empty has you keening under him. You hear him click his teeth and fade out into a groan, his hands palming over your ass and using you as leverage to thrust himself harder between your slicked up pussy. He drops his head down to suck your wet neck and you can’t help the roll in your tummy at how good it all feels.

“So pretty, my pretty girl, even though you’re so mean to me.” He pants into your neck, and you tremble when he grinds into you, “gonna cum-“ your eyes go all crossed eyed and foggy and it makes you careen forward into the drenched boy and cum with wobbly legs as he continues to pump his cock between your dripping inner thighs.

Albedo pumps a few more times before he’s shifting back and fisting his length in his palm, jerking his length all over your pussy while he smashes his mouth onto yours in feverish sloppy kiss that would should make anyone flush. And he’s coming with a muffled yelp and painting your pussy with his cum, pushing his tip to your slit and letting the milky white coat your folds till your jerking from oversensitivity. And he’s slipping his tongue out of your mouth to look down at the mess.

For someone who just came all over your cunt, albedo is flushed, and you giggle at the carmine blush spread across cheeks and you wrap your arms around his neck to drag him into a hug. “I think we need another shower.” You mumble, fingers smoothing into his hair and as you feel his cum drip down your thighs. “Yeah, and who’s fault is that-“

“Shh, we don’t have to talk about the mechanics of it all, just enjoy it.” You wink at him, and he rolls his eyes at you little smile peeking up his lips as he grips your plushy waist.

You think sneaking into his shower this one time will turn into a routine event.

[imaginepirates]

I’d honestly KILL to be in your linguistics class 😂, but anyways, let’s take a look back at school life. Now, which potc characters of your choosing would be the: prankster, shy kid, nerd, snitch, etc?

Yeah the linguistics class is pretty great. Very useful for conlang construction ngl 😅.

In any case, here are my humble takes on the potc characters as school stereotypes (highschool specifically. college is another monster and I'm not yet well enough versed). Sorry I haven't posted anything in a while--school has me fuckin busy.

Jack:

The joker, the prankster, the class clown. Found in schools across the globe, and much needed for the overall social moral. Is well acquainted with the principal's office, who in this case is probably Gov. Swann. Generally liked by all, but no real close friends. The classic comedic character with a sort of sad life.

Lizzie:

Definitely the rich, smart kid, but not in an obnoxious way because she has a great sense of adventure. She tends to use her social advantages for collectve benefit and doesn't really look down on other people. This makes her generally likable and easy to talk to for others. Doesn't hurt that her dad's the principal, so.

Will:

A generally quiet kid. Not necessarily shy, just pretty mellow. Most people don't pay him much mind. That being said, the first time someone openly insults Lizzie, he stands up for her and is pretty adamant about getting them to shut up. Takes everyone by surprise. He and Jack are friends by default -- it's an "alone together" sort of situation.

James:

The fuckin nerd. Also a suck up. I'm sorry, and I love him, but it's the truth. He definitely wants teachers to think highly of him, especially when he comes in as a freshman. He takes a lot of pride in his study skills. By the time he reaches senior year, though, he's exhausted and more than a little burnt out, so his image matters considerably less. Is still probably a valedictorian tho.

Beckett:

Ok I have 2 takes for Beckett, since we get a canon description of him as a student. On the one hand, we have horribly introverted nerd who gets bullied mercilessly. On the other hand, we have elitist asshole who's too fucking smart for his own good and is a vindictive little bitch. Will slip cigs in your backpack and tell the teacher he saw them and that he's "concerned for you" to get you in trouble. Also not above having his friend Ian beat you up.

Barbossa:

The chill upperclassmen who claims to know all the school secrets. He knows which music practice rooms kids make out in, and he was there for the cheese stick that got thrown into the light fixture. He probably smokes weed some weekends and has a dope pet monkey everyone loves. Gives Jack (the person) inside deets on everything.

[mooni-bunni]

AOT with a Black S/O

A/N: There are SO many characters I want to do so this is definitely going to be a part one. Please know that I’m going off of MY ✨black experience✨ so if I mention something that you don’t do or experience, then idk, write your own. 🤨

CW: Modern AU, Black!Reader, Reader is female oriented,

TW: some light racism mentions.

Eren Jaeger

I’m going to start this off by saying Eren is completely into ethnic women.

If it’s not the way your skin glows under the summer sun, it’s definitely the goddamn brown eyes that are just BEAUTIFUL MAN.

He won’t say it, but he is such a nerd for learning more about your culture. Learns a lot about black history and excitedly tells you the new stuff he learned. He gets so happy when he learns about inventions by black people too.

He gets really mad about a lot of social issues though. He’s a really good listener when it comes to you voicing your feelings about something that’s happened in the community. Definitely an unapologetic activist.

Take him to a predominantly black church, watch him be all awkward but tapping his toes. He’ll tell you after that he really enjoyed it and had a lot of fun. He may not be feeling the Holy Ghost, but he is definitely going with you on sunday just to enjoy it with you

Over all, he just loves you so much, he gets to experience so,etching new every single day and he loves it. Especially when it comes to music, food, and clothing. Dress him up please, he likes it. Use him as a wig stand too.

Armin Arlert

Please, he was doing research on black culture before you were even dating. 🤨🖐🏾

When you started dating, you were definitely surprised by how much he actually knows about black culture. It’s all because he wanted to make sure he never says anything to you that makes you upset. If he has questions about something, he is going right to those books and the internet. He’s also not afraid to ask you questions but he would prefer to not burden you with the responsibility of educating him.

If you grew up in a predominantly white neighborhood, he tries his best to make you feel comfortable about being your most authentic self and not washing yourself down for him. He doesn’t like it when you hold yourself back or fix your speech so that he can understand you better, he’ll fight you to be yourself. USE YOUR AAVE AND TEACH HIM.

He really likes the way you talk. He takes note of any little inflectional accented letters in the words you speak. He will use words like “bussin” and “Chile” in the wrong way, so please just… stop him, he’s trying his best.

He’s also really into African American protective hairstyles and why they are important

Definitely sits down with you and helps you with your hair. He’s not the best with it, but he is definitely helpful. Like he’ll at least hold stuff for you or let you use his hand as the pallet for the grease or gel. If you’re a wig wearer, he likes being the model while you shape it. If you’ve got an Afro, he’s buying you the cutest bonnets to wear at night.

Mikasa Ackerman

The thing she loves so much about you is how she’s able to swap cultural experiences with you. 🥺

She grew up in a half Asian household and has a lot of things to share. The fact that she gets to mix her culture with yours is incredible to her. Especially with food because traditional Japanese dishes with traditional African American foods is fun to combine

She is really into r&b music, too. Swapping music with her is so much fun because she finds some new artists she’s never heard of before. She really likes Destiny’s Child

Asks you a lot of questions, too. It’s always light hearted and she means so well. She wants to know more about your family, the dynamic, what kinds of struggles you went through, the celebrations.

Bring her to parties and family functions, she is a visual and hands on learner.

Calls you beautiful every single day. There’s not a single thing about you that she doesn’t love.

Jean Kirschtein

Jean definitely gets quite the culture shock when you first start living together.

Mainly because of the food. He is not used to any cuisine that as a little spice in it. The first time you cool all the fixings for him, he is overwhelmed. It smells so good and some is familiar, but he’s never had them in this way.

He’s eating all of it anyways honey. He’s telling you it’s BUSSIN. Every fuckin meal, bro, he is saying it. Y’all can’t even go to cookouts because he says it so loud, tell him to STOP. (But don’t because it sounds funny and he’s just trying to express his love for soul food.)

OH AND DANCING. BRO. He learns a lot about how dances were ripped off from black people and he asks you to teach him the correct way to do it, if you know how. If not, he’ll happily teach you. He loves the history of it, too.

He is very active as an ally and does a lot of work to make sure the community you guys live in is accepting and safe for you and everyone else.

It really does take him a minute to get into the swing of daily life, but he is so happy he met you and that you let him in.

Sasha Braus

You already know I’m going to say food with this girl.

The way she is tearing up a plate the first time you cook food for her is a little animalistic. She licks that shit CLEAN. Some soul food at a party is going to be nonexistent if you bring her.

She may not be the brightest girl, but movies are definitely her thing. She likes it when you show her some movies directed by black people like Jordan Peele or Tyler Perry. One of her favorite movies is Dream Girls.

She also asks a lot of questions. (Ahem, her with Onyankopon…) It’s always her trying to learn more but they sometimes come off as a little uhhhhh… you know…. Like that. Don’t worry though, explain things to her and she is immediately apologetic for even asking.

You might have to teach her a few things though, I’m not gonna lie.

Take her to a family reunion or a Juneteenth celebration party, trust me she’ll enjoy herself.

Levi Ackerman

Surprisingly the thing he enjoys the best is the music.

You’d think with his classical tea loving ass, he’d be a little weary with the music, but no! He actually really likes old hip hop and rap. New age is not his favorite, but he likes artist like Tupac, Biggie, Jay Z, Old Kanye. Don’t be surprised to see him rapping randomly. I’ll stand by this.

He’s also really good with hair. Like surprisingly good with it. Like, he could actually just do your hair and you will probably never have to go to a salon ever.

He saw you struggling with yours one morning and noticed how expensive it was for you to get yours done, so he literally went out to any black owned salon and asked if they could teach him how it’s done. For weeks he just spent his free time learning how to do textured hair, which products were good, which ones were harmful, how to style, all of it. He came home one day and saw you booking an appointment to get yours done and told you he could do it. Success.

He also learns your favorite soul food meals. Spends time with your family to learn how you like it.

Overall, Levi isn’t great with words but he shows you he loves you by doing these extravagant things for your that’s how you know he cares about you and how important your heritage is.

A/N: this was so cute wahhh. Idk why I’m worried about being canceled when I’m black- also sorry for any typos I miss.

[ibis-gt]

I’M SO GLAD YOU ASKED!

clipping. is a bay area-based three piece harsh noise rap group, featuring mc daveed diggs (Yes That Daveed Diggs From Hamilton) rapping over the instrumentals of william hutson and jonathan snipes! they do mostly darker songs, featuring murder and dismemberment and sex and violence, presented in a mostly deadpan monotone at staggering speed by the classically trained diggs, who enunciates each word so unbelievably clearly for the pace he’s going at. i am nerding out under the cut. oh my god it got so long.

they have a couple albums out! their first, ‘CLPPNG’, is a decent debut but enormously outshined by their following album ‘splendor & misery’ which was nominated for a Got Damned Hugo Award. holy SHIT. and it’s GOOD! ‘splendor & misery’, named after the never-written sequel to samuel r. delaney’s ‘stars in my pockets like grains of sand’ (full title would have been ‘the splendor & misery of bodies & cities’) follows the sole survivor of a futuristic slave uprising as he tries to navigate the ship he’s now completely alone on - except for the ship’s AI, which falls in love with him over the course of the second song. it’s a gorgeous and haunting album intercut with spirituals and loaded with code in the form of ciphers hidden in the beats. simply put: it FUCKS.

then comes ‘there existed an addiction to blood’ and ‘visions of bodies being burned’, which are forays into horrorcore rap. i think the band really shines here. TEAATB blew my fuckin socks off, i really could not pick a favorite - although ‘nothing is safe’, ‘run for your life’, ‘the show’, and ‘blood of the fang’ would be my top picks. ‘run for your life’ in particular does amazing things with binural sounds, creating a soundscape of a city street with the song’s beats played through passing cars. and these guys literally went out and drove past a recorder whilst blasting the music from their cars to get this sound. when they say ‘field recordings’ they MEAN IT. ‘blood of the fang’ is biting political commentary and a call to arms, spat so quickly it takes several listens and the lyrics in front of you to get it all but it’s worth it. ‘the show’ is a grisly torture session, paid for by a silent, unblinking audience. ‘nothing is safe’..... you just have to listen to it. holy shit.

VOBBB is also extremely good, with hit after hit - ‘say the name’, ‘96 neve campbell’, ‘check the lock’, and ‘she bad’ have got to be the tops for me though. this one draws a lot more influence directly from horror movies, with ‘say the name’ being pretty directly about candyman, ‘96 neve campbell’ being a tribute to the final girl trope, and ‘she bad’ playing with the blair witch. ‘check the lock’ i think is also based on a movie or movie trope but i’m not sure. it’s good as hell though, the bassline is incredible.

ALSO clipping. has a series of songs called ‘story’, they’re called story + a number, they’re released out of order and we haven’t gotten any multiples of three yet. they’re extremely good and somehow all connected, people from other stories keep showing up in the songs, and clipping. likes to hide code in their music a lot. i think the story in splendor & misery contains the phrase ‘grace is randy’s sister’ in morse code, and something about a woman named amy, who i think is the narrator’s therapist in story 2. idk other people figured this out not me lol.

and clipping. has lots of singles and EPs that are very good! ‘wriggle’ is awesome, ‘the deep’ is an afrofuturist song about mermaids that is also a novel written by river solomon and the band is credited as co-authors.

aaaand at the end of all of that, just a reminder that clipping.’s songs and subject matter are dark as hell and if you are upset by violence, murder, and frank discussions of racism, maybe avoid them! there is also a mild amount of sexual assault in some of their songs but it’s never really given a lot of focus? just like. avoid story 4 (which is actually my favorite story but it is Dark! OK!)

[hello-yue-here]

fun lil mai headcanons cuz im bored:

in canon headcanons:

-100% trained with the yuyan archers w/suki

-she tries to teach tomtom how to wield knives, but he doesn’t wanna train in any weapons. he becomes a real education nut so mai offers to help him study and research instead. big sister mai.

-after the war she learns to open up more and while shes still naturally straight faced and quiet, it becomes easier to make her laugh and smile.

-she loves when she gets to visit the earth kingdom with the gaang to aee king kuei because she actually really likes bosco. they bonded.

-for a while she travels with aang and katara on appa because she grew up in a strict household and likes the idea of freedom. she becomes very close w katara and aang on these trips and considers them good friends whenever they come back.

-shes a fuckin beast at pai sho.

-im convinced that mai and sokka would be best friends. she thinks hes very funny and he is scared of her but in the best way. they are the pair of best friends that everyone is scared of because of how judgemental they are (and theyre always right. they may be judgemental but damn they arent wrong)

-very protective over tomtom even as he grows into a teenager and an adult. he hates it. whenever he complains she said “remember the time you were KIDNAPPED? because i do” “mai i was six months ol-“ “KIDNAPPED”

-she tries to teach all of her friends how to use the knives. Suki and Sokka are the only ones who are any good at it. Katara is also pretty decent, but she prefers to throw blades made of ice and Mai says it doesnt count because she could be bending to improve her aim. Katara would never admit it but its so obvious that thats why she uses ice blades. you cant fool anyone w that Katara sweetie.

modern au headcanons:

-florist with tattoos. i dont make the rules. this trope just fits her so well. this isn’t a hot take but i felt the need to say it anyways. its just a given at this point for modern au mai.

-has a secret love for super sweet starbucks drinks, but if you ask her she’ll lie and say its a black coffee cold brew (we all know its a french vanilla ice coffee with extra sugar mai dont lie)

-she would drive a used red punch buggie because ty lee thinks its cute even tho she can afford a better car

-i havent made relationship headcannons for any of my other girls but like,,, mailee yall. i had to make this modern au mailee. mailee all day in the modern au dont lie.

-big time taylor swift fan. hates john mayer. when her friends find out they are shocked. her entire spotify is classical music, rock bands, and taylor swift.

-criminal justice major who got her degree and opened up a flower shop instead. refuses to give legal advice to her friends. nick miller energy but she has her life put together. nick miller energy solely in the fact that she passed the bar exam and decided i hate this.

-doesnt know how to ride a bike. it fits.

headcannons that work either way:

-she bullies her friends. but if someone else bullies them. well we all know ab her knives. but shes so mean to her friends (they know its love tho.)

-she’s secretly a huge theatre nerd just like zuko and they bond over their favorite shows.

-she is incredible at math.

-she has many weird talents. like she can lick her elbow and crack her nose. like weird bodily talents yk? like shes the kind of person who can pop her thumb out of her socket at will just to freak people out.

-she may not seem like it but she is a very tactile person. she loves hugs and cuddling and holding hands. no over the top PDA but she is very touchy with her friends. if she doesnt know you tho dont touch her.

[shade-romeo]

Heard you wanted to talk about your new ocs?

-What are their hobbies/interests?

-Do they have any regrets?

(wow huge jump there-)

YES OKAY- I should probably explain stuff about the story first so this makes sense but whatever.

This got long

Arlen (a human girl, she/her, living with Adore in a fantasy world, having been teleported here from the real world) - Arlen loves reading and learning things, a classic dnd nerd, so you can imagine that when she was dumped here she immediately was all over asking questions about the land and the history, and just so fuckin excited. Her regret would be that she ended up dragging her best friend Kell here with her. She knows Kell isn't good with new environments and new people, she was just so excited and figured they'd end up together. She can't find them anywhere, she's just so worried about them getting into serious trouble.

Kell/Kelly (a human kid, they/them, who got pushed in the portal by Arlen, landing with Duncan and Amira.) - Kell listens to music and generally follows Arlen around mostly, she's their only friend and they're always just going with the flow. They play dnd with Alren in their little group, and they play other rpg games as well, but definitely isn't into them as much as Arlen is. Their regret would probably be that they were always too cold to other people. Here they are, dumped into a whole new world with no way to defend themselves, no way to get home, and no way to know what the fuck is out there. They could die here, they could die here and they'd die alone. They never made any friends aside from Arlen, and they were always so distant with their family. If they died here, they would be dying comepletely and utterly alone, and for once they're really truly scared of that fact.

Adore (a witch infused with magic, she/her, she lives in a cute little cottage in the woods, doing her magic and staying away from the neighboring towns. A cottagecore lesbian) - She loves to garden! She has a huge flower patch behind her house, with planted fruit trees, vegetables, and a whole slew of other things. She does use magic to help the dying plants, but mostly she does all her gardening by hand. She also likes to make potions, mostly stuff for plants or protection, but occasionally she'll experiment a bit. Her regret would be never leaving her cottage. She knows she's strong, she knows she could handle herself out in the woods, but she's too frightened to even step past the front porch. She knows she's missed so much, and she could've helped so many people if she just got some guts. Which is why she's so determined to help Arlen find her friend and get her home. She's dead set on finally doing something worthwhile.

Duncan (a half elf scholar, they/him, stressed out of their mind and suffering a great deal from overworking himself so hard, they're quite snippy. He's Amira's best friend, and plans to be for a long time coming.) - Duncan obviously likes to write. But that hasn't been working out too well for them. They also like to draw and dance, but he's so dead set on getting this writing done for himself that they're working themself to the ground and ruining their love of writing in the process. His biggest regret would be delving himself so deep into his work. They've lived so long with Amira, they figured she'd always be by his side, but recently she's been pulling away from him. They know logically that's they're own fault, and they can't bear the thought of losing Amira and being comepletely on his own, so he's using Kell's quest to get home as an opportunity to finally take a break and get themself back to reality.

Amira (a turned vampire, she/it, Duncan's best friend, always trying to get Duncan back to themself and failing miserably. It's not a very happy camper ever since Duncan started ignoring her.) - Amira fucking loves to hunt. Not just for food, and not huge endangered animals, beasts that terrorize towns and kill innocent people, deranged terrifying monsters. Not only is it a thrill, the chase, the fight, the adrenaline, the triumph, it also brings a good meal along with it. It also likes to dance, it used to dance with Duncan all the time, before they started ignoring her. Its regret would be letting Duncan drive himself so far into the ground without intervening. Duncan had distanced themself and started being a little rude with her, at first her walls had gone up and she'd stormed out the house, pissed out of its mind. But after a month or so it came back to reconcile, and realized it was so much worse than it thought before. Now she's trying to make up for what it let happen, pulling Duncan along with her and Kell to go on this quest, hopefully they can reconcile then.

Ross (a former elven knight, she/him, kicked out of the guard for the murder of a higher officer. Lives in a pathetic little tent deep in the woods, having nowhere else to go. 100% a butch lesbian.) Ross likes to fight. Mostly recreationally of course. Using trees as dummies to slash and kill. She never actually hurts the trees, just clang clangs her sword against it. He also likes to run. He doesn't now, since he's too afraid he might run and get lost away from his tent, but sometimes he'll pace around his campsite for hours at a time to get the energy out. Her regret would absolutely be that she never questioned authority. She was born into the guard, having been a squire at age 5 and a fledgling knight at age 11. By 24 she was the head of two fleets, following every order given to him, no matter how gruesome or grave. But one day after being called to his higher ups office, she's attacked and almost killed, and in order to save himself she kills the man instead. The head of the whole guard banished her, going so far as to strip him of his armor and sword. But he slipped a second *cough* better *cough* sword into his clothes as he was thrown out. He sees now that he was simply a pawn. Perhaps she could've used her power to do more good while she still had it, had it not been for the brainwashing she had gone through from birth. Eventually Adore and Arlen stumble upon his campsite, and he promises his duty to both of them, ensuring that he'd never ever let anyone do any unnecessary harm ever again.

[fanfuckingfic]

You Move Like Real People Do

(Choreographer!Jimin x Ecologist!Namjoon x Singer!Reader)

Summary: Sometimes loving someone is just too easy. It just sinks into you so deeply or floats you away so high either way it shouldn't be hard to hold on to.

Wordcount: 2.6k

Warnings: (Sappy fluff, polyamory, lots of talk about bog bodies, excessive amounts of admiration, the songs are literally Hozier’s and you should listen to them if you haven’t, oh my god this is so self indulgent)

A/N: I haven't written in like 3 years and I've never tried bullet fic style so please be nice :( also I love Hozier so much oh my god I literally just built a whole universe in my brain around his music + bangtan and I think Movement fits Jimin so well and LRPD is a sick song and Joon is a just weird nerd but anyway please enjoy and lemme know what you think! 

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Namjoon is an ecologist and Jimin is a choreographer and Y/n is a famous indie-rock blues singer/songwriter (literally just fucking Hozier because I love that man with every bit of my heart).

You and Joon are early risers and spend mornings sipping coffee and reading together on the couch while you wait for Jimin to get ready for the classes he teaches alongside being a choreographer so they can kiss him good morning and wish him a good day when he leaves.

You’re sure to put extra honey in his green tea to-go cup, and he kisses you both quickly on the cheek before scurrying out the door.

They both kind of fiddle around with their day cause Joon is a professor at the local university and only has classes twice a week and finished grading that last assignment yesterday.

So now he's watering his plants and terrariums in the greenhouse porch you all have and your sitting there fiddling with your guitar, messing around with some chords sometimes writing them down sometimes not.

Casually you ask Joon which student had the best paper.

“One student went out of their way to be a kiss ass if that counts.”

You ask how he means with a chuckle.

“Well you know how I've been writing a thesis about bog bodies and what-not?”

“Yes of course, love, you only remind me of the phenomenon every chance you have.” You look up at him with mock disdain. 

His eyebrows furrow, “I thought you liked talking about the bog bodies” He pouts and you honestly can't even try to deny it.

“I do, I think it's kind of beautiful- not like dead people that's shitty- but when you describe how the swamps and bogs preserve them and how they’re found.” You take in a deep breath mulling over your words for moment.

“You make things like that sound so beautiful, Joonie. Even if I don't get half the big sciencey words you say. It sorta sounds like people falling in love with something they shouldn't but doing it anyway.” You smile to yourself thinking of him talking to (mostly at) you.

Namjoon still gets flustered easily by your and Jimin's creative ways of declaring your love.

He hears Jimin's tinkling laugh in your music and his own words in your songs, sometimes he feels like he doesn't love you both back enough but you both are quick remind him that he doesn't show love through notes and twirls

He shows them through flowers he picks and the way he's always willing to interrupt himself to explain something when he sees confusion in either of your eyes, because he knows you want to but wont stop his train of thought, you both want to understand what he's babbling on about because you love him.

(And he looks so fuckin hot when he goes on his passionate rants about certain bacteria being the back bone for an entire ecosystem how could you not?)

He blushes and clears his throat.

You always find the beauty in everything, can turn just about anything into a love story, a poem.

He loves that about you and Jimin you're both so able to make the world more beautiful with your bodies and minds. You both love that he adds so much sustenance to that beauty. 

“You're right, bog bodies deserve love, just like any real person does. But a student wrote their paper on them and used me as a source in their reference page.” He huffs, still amused by the students' tenacity. 

“Any real person, huh? You gave them an A didn't you?” You absorb his words before deadpanning.

Namjoon doesn't answer and instead bends down to kiss your lips then your forehead before he goes back to being very interested in how his Venus fly trap is doing.

Some days when your writer's block is extra bad and you've been struggling to come up with lyrics that mean anything or chords to go with them, Jimin asks if you want to come with him to the studio.

He's just experimenting with some new choreography so it's just you two. 

He notices when you get into these slumps you can't quite reach your way out of and staying in the house all cooped up trying to get inspired by the same things you see everyday isn't going to help. 

It's a classical piece a dance company hired him to choreograph, wordless dancing was always his forte.

Feeling the music move through him and around him, throw him to and fro. He likes to feel like a tool of expression- like an instrument to be played. 

You watch him work and think and move, over and over again, something just slightly different each time just slightly closer to what he wants. 

He's breathless by the time he comes to sit next you against the back wall he saw you staring the whole time and loves how he can still make you and Joon speechless and swooning even after all the years together. 

“Sometimes I forget you're real, you know, when you dance.” You murmur head on your knees still in a daze after watching him.

Jimin quirks an eyebrow and smirks.

“The hell does that mean?” He simpers, knowing you're probably about to say something that will completely floor him and make him fall for you even harder. 

“You just stop looking real I guess, you look like if I reached out to touch you, you would still just be barley out of reach, like driving towards a rainbow or a mirage, ya know?” 

He quirks his head, not really understanding what you mean but trying to.

“You're just so good at using your body to show a concept you almost kind of become one. I don't know, mostly, I just feel like I'd chase you forever if you really were unreachable like that, I don't think I'd mind.” You shrug and reach for his hand to fiddle with. 

He exhales in surprise. He was absolutely right. Floored.

“Would you dance with me? Running after me doesn't sound as pretty as us dancing together forever.” He asks twisting you fingers with his.

“I don't think I'd have a choice not wanting to dance with you would be like not wanting to breathe.”

He sighs dramatically. “Babe! How am I supposed to be okay after you say shit like that? Huh?” He laughs and shoves your shoulder playfully.

You laugh and fall over pulling him with you. 

Namjoon comes by later with drinks from the cafe he knows Jimin loves and finds you both slow dancing in the middle of the empty studio.

You both pull him in between you and continue to sway back and forth. It's sweet and romantic and your drinks go cold before any of you are ready to let go of each other.

Your latest album was amazing and you're about to go on tour and you're nervous to be away from your guys for so long cause last time you went on tour you weren’t as famous and such didn't go to different countries to perform. 

You're gonna miss them terribly and they miss you twice as bad and they definitely bawl their eyes out when your tour bus is out of sight.

They tried really hard to keep up the smiles for you cause you deserve the success and the recognition without guilt or reservations but wow the house is so quiet without your absent-minded humming and strumming and no knew pieces of paper with potential lyrics scattered around the countertops. 

You all keep in touch of course- face-timing at least once a day with both or either of them and you ask them not to watch any recorded performances cause you don't want them to spoil it for when you come back and do your final home concert. 

Your reason being: you left two songs off the album you wanted to perform on tour.

So now it's your last concert before you get to sleep in the same bed as your loves again, they arrive early but you're still too busy with sound check and your drummer having boyfriend problems to get more than a hug and kiss to each of them. 

They don't mind though they know how concerts are for you. You love them- you get to give your fans a bit of your soul and they all give a bit right back. 

They meander through the crowd towards the front not too close though. Your manager tried to get them to stay backstage but they both wanted to get the full experience since they did as promised and had steered clear of any footage of the concert. 

When you walk out everyone lights up and the energy in the whole concert hall shifts.

You smile so bright and they're close enough they can see the surprise on your face when you look down into the crowd and see them. Your eyes soften and get a little misty but ever the professional you trudge on. 

Song after song you work the crowd into the comfort of your melodies and words have people screaming, crying and eating out of the palm of your hand so easily. 

You get to the end of your set, Namjoon and Jimin know- you'd asked them for help when planning the show. They knew which songs you were gonna sing and when but it didn't occur to them it seemed just a bit short until now when you're clearly your throat and asking for the house lights to be brought up just a bit. 

“The next two songs are love songs, I would sing about political injustice and grieving a metaphorical loss all day if I could-” the crowd hoots a few times with their chuckles and Namjoon and Jimin feel surprised grins growing on their faces.

“but I'm just too in love to not write a song or two.”

You strum a tune he’s only slightly familiar with, its something he’s heard you tweak for the past year or so.

“The lyrics of this one are a bit odd and terribly specific to a certain person so bare with me.” 

The auditorium murmurs a laugh again knowing your lyrics more often than not are. 

“I had a thought, dear, however scary

About that night, The bugs and the dirt

Why were you digging?

What did you bury, before those hands pulled me from the earth?

I will not ask you where you came from

I will not ask you, neither should you

Honey just put your sweet lips on my lips

We should just kiss like real people do”

The piano sounds and the haunting harmony from your back up singers makes Namjoon’s heart race. 

He knows what you're singing about, Jimin knows too he might not get it as well as Namjoon does right now- some of the things Joon talks about are just slightly too icky for him- but he does know that if he could dance about Joon’s brain he would. 

He smiles when Namjoon's hand squeezes his, his eyes unable to look away from you and the little story being told between you two right now. 

“I knew that look dear, eyes always seeking 

Was there in someone, that dug long ago

So I will not ask you, why you were creeping

In some sad way I already know

I will not ask you where you came from

I will not ask you and neither would you

Honey just put your sweet lips on my lips

We should just kiss like real people do”

Noli timere Namjoon hears the words being dragged and stretched in your vocals and his heart clenches.

“I could not ask you where you came from

I could not ask you, neither could you

Honey just put your sweet lips on my lips

We could just kiss like real people do”

Your voice tapers off and the strums slow as you open your eyes and hold his gaze meaningfully. 

Namjoon is left feeling like he's floating.

You wrote a song about something he cares about, you wrote him a song about one of his favorite things even if it is a very creepy weird thing.

You took all the thoughts he poured into your ears and made it something people could love just a little bit easier. He almost thought he couldn't love you more than he already did.

“This next one might be a bit less niche but if you've ever seen your lover dance you would know exactly what its about.” 

The heavy dip of bass vibrates their feet and a resounding clap comes to fill the air as the surprise and tears come his eyes. 

“I still watch you when you're groovin'

As if through water from the bottom of a pool

You're movin' without movin'

And when you move, I'm moved”

Jimin’s hand comes to his mouth and you smile mischievously into your mic.

“You are a call to motion

There, all of you a verb in perfect view

Like Jonah on the ocean

When you move, I'm moved

When you move I'm put to mind of all that I wanna be

When you move I could never define all that you are to me”

You look directly at him making sure he knows this is his song. 

“So move me, baby

Shake like the bough of a willow tree

You do it naturally

Move me, baby

You are the rite of movement

Its reasonin' made lucid and cool

I know it's no improvement

When you move, I move”

Jimin laughs wetly at your joke. You’re wrong- he thinks- your body is absolutely and improvement of any situation. 

“You're less Polunin leapin'

Or Fred Astaire in sequence

Honey, you, you're Atlas in his sleepin'

And when you move, I'm moved

When you move I can recall somethin' that's gone from me

When you move, Honey, I'm put in awe of somethin' so flawed and free

So move me, baby

Shake like the bough of a willow tree

You do it naturally, move me, baby

So move me, baby, Like you've nothin' left to prove

And nothin' to lose, move me, baby

Ooh, ooh, ooh

Oh baby, oh baby

Move like grey skies

Move like a bird of paradise

Move like an odd sight come out at night”

The sudden crash of the band coming together to put music to your declaration makes goosebumps rise on Jimin's skin, Namjoon looks between you both and his heart melts softly in his chest. Just the admiration between you both enough to make him fall all over again.

“Move me, baby

Shake like the bough of a willow tree

You do it naturally, move me, baby

So move me, baby

Like you've nothin' left to lose

And nothin' to prove, move me, baby

So move me, baby

Shake like the bough of a willow tree

You do it naturally, move me, baby”

The calls and hums of you and your back up singers echo quietly before applause assaults their ears, the cheering nothing short of deafening. 

You bow and wave backing away from the mic for a few moments- taking in the last show you'll be doing for a while- before walking off stage.

Namjoon knows he should be pulling Jimin with him towards backstage so they can smother you with love properly but hey can't move Jimin has tears streaming down his face and Namjoon is too awestruck about you remembering him going on about the last words of a poet who had written about the bog bodies and how you always just cared so much about him and Jimin.

Eventually they do move through the leaving crowd towards security, the guards already aware of their faces escort them.

They knock on the green room door with your name next to it. 

It swings open so quickly they flinch back and the woman barreling into their arms throws them back at least a foot. 

“I missed you so much” you all but sob into their chests. Clinging tightly to their shirts.

They share a look over your head all too endeared with your clinginess having missed it terribly for the past months.

“We missed you too angel.” Jimin sighs into your hair, much closer to your head than Namjoon. 

Namjoon hums in agreement then sniffles making you both turn your faces up to look at him, Namjoon crying was a really rare thing well maybe in comparison with you and Jimin who will cry at an emotionally manipulative commercial without hesitation. 

You're both slightly shocked to see tear tracks on his adorably reddened face and him struggling to control his breathing.

“Ooh Joonie.” You coo then pull them both into the green room and start wiping at his cheeks. He sniffles again and it's absolutely precious.

“Y-you sang about b-bog bodies!” He sobs hauling you off your feet pushing the air out of your lungs. 

Jimin laughs and sniffs wiping at his now wet face too. 

“You guys liked them? They weren’t corny?” You wheeze as he sets you back down between them.

“Are you kidding?! You referenced Sergei Polunin, that's so corny, babe.” Jimin pets your cheek and kisses it tenderly. “Of course we loved them.”

“I'm gonna put my song in my thesis, its gonna open a whole flood gate for the romanticism of them.'' Namjoon says, mostly to himself, still shaky with tears.

Jimin pulls you both in for another hug and in a similar state to Namjoon says, “I’m gonna choreograph both of our songs. I’m dropping all my projects for it- right now.”

You laugh and shake your head before pulling back to take them both in again still not over how long it’d been since you got hold them. 

“You wanna go somewhere? Get a welcome home drink or meal or candle or something?” Jimin asks, putting your hair back into place as best he can. 

“That diner with the shakes on 5th is probably still open-” Namjoon starts but you shake your head.

“Can we just go home? I missed you so much.” They both nod with the softest smiles and each grip a hand.

Your tour bus dropped off most of your stuff at home earlier that day so Namjoon just takes your backpack and Jimin pulls your guitar over his shoulder. But not before asking with a smirk-

“Did you say Fred Astaire in sequins?”

--------

Thank you for reading <3 Please like and reblog if you enjoyed reading this! It’ll lets me know if I should write more or not

[ziracona]

Dwight/Jake wedding headcanons maybe? They deserve it.

For sure!

It’s a couple years down the road. They’ve been living in the Indiana house with Adam, while the others orbit in and out from Springwood and Lockport and Haddonfield and Indianapolis and Bloomington and New Jersey and Missouri and New York and such every few days. It’s peaceful and fun there for them. Woods, big house, familiar smells and people and memorobelia and Ron’s grave and markers added nearby for Vigo and Alex and Lisa and Sujan and the person from the lab with no name and the survivors who came before them and never got to be buried. It’s home. They’re just chilling, Dwight and Jake talking with intent but also very relaxed about something while Adam edits a sequel in his easy chair, deep in edit mode, when Jake calls over, “Hey Adam, do you want to be a best man, or do you want to marry us?”

Which Adam hears the wrong homophone for for a second and almost takes him out before he realizes they meant the other version of ‘marry’ and remembers how to breathe again.

He stutters out a, “Well, I, uh—I mean, I can do whichever you’d prefer, but I’m not ordained. In. Anything. I know I did Min and Nea’s, but—”

“—Yeah, we know, but we just need it to be legal,” Jake shrugs, “and we don’t want a stranger at the wedding period, so someone’s getting ordained.”

“I think you can get ordained online in like an hour,” adds Dwight helpfully, “and we’re not religious either, but—and now that I’m saying this it was Meg so that means I should make sure becuase sometimes her memory for numbers is uhhh bad, but she told me like a week ago you only need ten people to officially get your new religion recognized. And we could be ‘the survivors’ or something. I don’t know I believe in much, but I believe in that.”

Jake nods. “Whatever is true, this group of people can rip a hole in the fabric of the universe for each other. I’d ascribe to that.”

“I kind of like that,” says Adam, “I would too. But if we have a spiritual ‘leader’, wouldn’t Ace be a better choice than me? Or Jane?”

This is considered a good point and they debate between Adam, Jeff, Tapp, Jane, and Ace for a bit, [Philip is also briefly considered, but they realize just as fast he’d be overwhelmed and stressed by having to do it & mercifully swap him to another role], then decide on Ace, who’s always been the kind of...not exactly dad, not exactly uncle, but not not those things, and certainly some kind of an early spiritual or morale core for them, parentish figure, and a comfort and hope leader for them all. Also, they know he’ll get a fkn kick out of being ordained for this.

Dwight takes Quentin as his Best Man, Claudette his Maid of Honor, and Jake takes Nea as Matron of Honor, Andrew as Best Man, and Meg as Maid of Honor. They decide fuck it, and it’s kinda Parks & Rec (an argument used by and against Jake many times the next few weeks) anyway, and also both take Adam and Philip as Best Men because fuck it, it’s too hard and also wedding rules are arbitrary and made to be broken, and so then Jake adds Kate as a bridesmaid, Dwight adds Laurie, they realize the number of survivors is dwindling dangerously and decide fuck it, our wedding is for us might as well be fkn weird and cool, and add David, Min, Tapp, Jane, Jeff, and Laurie as groomsmen and bridesmaids too. This still leaves Michael, Anna, Sally, Benedict, Susie, Jeff’s three Legion kids, and everyone’s families which is like fkn a lot of people, to be audience party (sans Nancy, who is pleaded with to be wedding party and run the music pre-reception because the number of people that they want involved /and/ who won’t give in to or be tricked by Meg into some kind of terrible flash mob stunt is very small, and in fact, basically is just Nancy. She is happy to do it and thinks their desperate reasoning is hilarious).

They break the news to Meg and Claudette and Ace first (after Adam), ask Ace to marry them, and tell Meg she can run post-weddding/reception music however she wants, except the songs for a couples dance & parent dances. She is /thrilled/. Claudette is very happy and cries. They call up Quentin & Nea to add to the conversation and Jake says Nea and Meg and Susie are in charge of setting up the wedding because he knows they’re gonna fight him for the role anyway, but they have to throw whatever they can together with only the stuff they own already and $50, they want only family & the other survivors/their families at the wedding, the service short and sweet, and to have it at the cabin, by the river. Meg loses her mind with indignance and joy together, and goes buckwild. They hit thrift shops for fairy lights and streamers and more.

Everyone is thrilled to be asked, Jane says “about time,” and Philip can’t think of anything to say and gets overwhelmed emotionally and taken off guard to be asked to be a groomsman. It’s sweet. Everyone with fashion sense takes everyone else shopping or through their wardrobes for fun wedding clothes and to at least have accent pieces that match a color theme. (Complimentary blues, yellow/gold, and pinks to the grooms’. More on that). It’s super fun & they make a fashion show of it. There’s no matching in form, just color, which is just the best version anyway there’s really no goddamn reason to spend thousands of bucks on a wedding when you could just have a funky cute good time with the people who love you & no stress.

Jake picks a deep blue hanbok (bc the hottest Jake I’ve ever seen is the one @eggchef did for lunar new year & the note in the tags about an actual hanbok has been banging around in my head ever since), and when they’re going through stuff for Dwight, he comments a pink one is surprisingly nice because it’s not the color he’d expected to think about, and Jake remarks offhand that if they do deep blue and pink they’ll be stealing their girls’ looks, and the second he says that, they both know there’s no other choice now. Dwight gets a light pink suit and a tie that matches Jake’s blue. They’re adorable and both look exceedingly handsome.

The wedding is short and perfect. Ace does a great job, it’s a nice day, and Meg works wonders with her $50 budget and (notably obscenely large) preexisting store of party supplies, + help from her mom who is passing down the legacy of being the best tiny budget party planner on earth. It’s very open, but with near arches and dangling glass and prisims that cast rainbows everywhere, lots of meaningfully chosen for their blessings and symbolism flowers and flower chains from Claudette. It’s a little reminiscent of the birthday decorations Min and Nea did plus the prisims, and that accidentally makes all the survivors super emotional like 1 minute in.

Only the moms get to speak in the wedding (besides Ace and the grooms), and Andrew and Meg and Nea and Quentin and such all gotta save their roasts for the reception. It’s sweet. Ace knows them super well and it shows in the best way. The grooms write their own vows, and both echo their statements in the hatch tunnel without knowing the other was going to do so too. Jake starts with an “I am deeply, unendingly, ridiculously in love with you,” and Dwight brings in a, “I wouldn’t be who I am without you.” They end it with Dwight saying, “Will you still stay with me, now that it’s all over? Through whatever we’re thrown to next?” And Jake replying, “Wherever you go, I’ll always follow.”

I cry.

The reception is a party by the house. It’s just a huge prepared buffet made by the family who can cook, so no one has to sit and wait. Meg starts the music with Cascada’s Evacuate the Dance Floor because she doesn’t “want to see people dragging their feet like a bunch of fuckin weenies, I want asses on that dance floor!” There’s a lot of 90s and early 2000s pop, but also many many classic dance songs. Lots of ABBA. Lots of it. Everyone has great fun. Min, Nea, Susie, and Meg made the playlist, except for a few of the specific dances. Muriel Fairfield’s mother-son dance with Dwight is to Song For Ten by Neil Hannon because he knows she’s a sweet big emotional nerd and it’s the song she wants, and he’s willing to do it, and she sobs and is a mess but also the happiest she’s been since the day she got the call he was alive.

They have literally zero idea where they’re going when they drive off for a honeymoon. They’re like “Uhh so I’ve been looking at our complete and utter lack of wedding structure and planning as a good thing? But we might have overstepped that a little here....”

Dwight drives while Jake searches the web for LGBT safe honeymoon locations because there’s nothing that would ruin a trip more than that not working out, and reads off a list and Dwight is like, “Wait wait holy fuck, I though you meant what US cities or maybe Canada. Switzerland? Do we even have cash for the plane fare somewhere like that?” And Jake just looks at the page silently for a few seconds, shuts the laptop, and without expression says, “...I really hate this, but I’m gonna let myself be a rich boy, just once.”

They take Andrew’s jet to New Zealand (Jake calls him and listens for 2 minutes then just monotone goes “Okay but you owe me for being a dipshit for fifteen years,” and they get the ride). Jake picks a relaxed pace and some scuba diving, some hikes, but no overnight camping. Lots of just seeing the world and holding hands and grinning at how absolutely breathless and shocked Dwight is at every chunk of nature like nothing he’s seen before. They are disgustingly, blissfully happy.

[wastrelwoods]

nureyev for the character asks? or your fave bad kid so far if he's alreadt been asked

oh god i got so many more asks than i was expecting...smh post-2017 tumblr conditioning me to forget sometimes people Interact With Posts

no anon u got in under the wire....u get the nureyev answer

why i like them: 

AH i just. have a soft spot in my heart for con men and you KNOW he provides. also fox imagery? you’re kidding me. i love his whole jaded revolutionary schtick i love the name symbolism i love when he’s a smug asshole and a repressed nerd...his theme music slaps so HARD

why i don’t:

idk i mean i guess there’s some stuff that comes with the territory of the character being a fan fave in terms of. sometimes stuff gets projected onto him that i think would be much more compelling to see a different character deal with instead? but tbh i’ll take two cakes 

favorite episode:

ohhhhh train from nowhere...i just fuck with it so hard....the arc about trust is just so interesting and i love to see him play bond and be kind of a competent badass

favorite season:

i GUESS season 1, since he wasn’t really in season 2 except for constant references to reassure the audience he was still around and i don’t feel like i have the measure of season 3 yet. i think interesting things are coming! but i also feel like maybe season 3 traded really strong individual episodes for a slightly less clear overall arc. or maybe i’m calling it too early! 

favorite line:

i’m not over the classic “every time nureyev says juno” bit but i like. very much. the point of final resting place where he’s shouting through the airlock...love to see a very composed character go a little ham

favorite outfit:

KFGHFGH he’s a podcast man! you can’t prove he’s ever worn clothes in his life! but anyone who draws him with a shirt that has definitely too many buttons left undone wins a medal

otp:

honestly like. juno’s got some flirty dynamics with other characters i can get into but nureyev is rly too gone on juno to consider anything else. in terms of platonic family dynamics tho i am REALLY wild for peter&mag

brotp:

i want him and vespa to have a standoff because i KNOW vespa can wipe the floor with him and i want to see it. i don’t even mean physical knife fight i just FEEL that she’s a better strategist than he is and he wouldn’t see it coming. but then they can be friends after. hey can he have like, one friend? any friends who know him? 

headcanon:

i see him oscillate wildly between thinking he’s the greatest motherfucker who has ever lived and an incompetent old fool...i see him do the anxious attachment and the vying for approval and the identity issues and i say borderline. disorder that man’s personality at once

unpopular opinion:

sdkljfdgh yeah whack that hornet’s nest! hit it like a pinata! smack smack motherfucker!!! 

nah i don’t really feel like i have an unpopular opinion about the guy as much as i wish i would just never have to have a take again about whether he’s Problematic or Villainous bc i think that misses the point. he’s literally both a conman and a send-up of the femme fatale archetype his whole THING is being hard to get a bead on in terms of what he’s planning and whether he can be trusted. all we can really be sure about is that he’s Going Through Some Shit Right Now and that this isn’t rly a show that celebrates punishing characters for their mistakes as much as it celebrates growth and life and recovery so. don’t be grimdark i guess

also i rly don’t care whether he has an ass or not. it matters not a whit to me. i think it would be nice if he was fat tho

a wish:

give him! a home!! perhaps a friend, even!! 

oh-god-please-don’t-ever-happen:

ah idk i feel like anything that feels within the realm of possibility in terms of tone and theme is something i wouldn’t mind seeing. fuckin...go ahead kabert. get his ass

5 words to describe them:

UHHHHHHHH can i be real i’ve spent like half an hour on this response and i don’t want to spend an hour digging through a thesaurus now i think he’s kind of arrogant but also very competent but also full of a lot of hope and tenderness and a stalwart moral core he does not listen to a lot of the time, so. some guilt  

my nickname for them:

do i have a nickname for nureyev? sneaky pete sometimes. or “thceif”

[buckyscrystalqueen]

Too Smart for Your Own Good: Part 1

Pairings: Machine Gun Kelly x Reader, (Past and Future) Henry Cavill x Reader

Warnings: Swearing, one night stand, unprotected sex

Word Count: 2,551

A/N: Doesn’t have a completed end yet, but just giving you more content to try to get myself out of a writing funk. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So there’s something you need to know about my cousin.” Ashleigh sighed as she took her ID back from the guard at the gate of your very exclusive Malibu community. Colson looked over at his best friend and manager as she ran her fingers through her hair and looked out the front window for a moment. With a small shake of her head, she looked over at him with a small sigh. “She’s weird, OK? And like… stupid rich.”

“Stupid rich.” He confirmed with a huff as the guard got off the phone with you and let your guests into the beach side development. “What, you got a fucking actor in your family I don’t know about, Ash?” Your cousin sighed again, trying to figure out just how to explain the one branch of her blood line no one really ever talked to or about.

“She discovered a new branch of stars and like micro planets and shit in the Milky Way that no one knew existed… when she was eleven.” Kels felt his jaw actually drop as his friend continued past the extravagant houses to the only gate guarded house at the very end of the road. “So her grandmother, Ann was the woman that invented the baby carrier in the 60’s for her son, my Uncle Negan, who is now the president of a motorcycle gang in LA- the Sanctuary? You heard of them?”

“Heard of ‘em.” He confirmed with a nod as he looked up at what he could see of the massive house through the slow moving bars of your personal gate.

“He married my mom’s sister, Lucille, and they had (Y/N). Aunt Lucille died in child birth, and Negan and my family got in a huge fight over who was a better fit to raise my cousin. With all the money that she was lined up to get, it was almost a sickening free for all for my parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles. But in the midst of the arguing, it turned out she was genius level smart. Like Sheldon Cooper from Big Bang Theory was literally loosely based off her and she gets royalties off that shit. And after seeing all of the fighting going on over her for no reason, she convinced her dad to write us all off as a toddler. Which he happily did because he does anything his little girl asks him to do. She doesn’t talk to any of the older generations of my family but she talked to must of the cousins occasionally as long as they weren’t asking for money. Which, in the end, basically left me because I just see her as my cousin and not for her money.” Kels nodded his head slowly as Ashleigh parked her car and turned off the ignition. 

“She’s an amazing person that has had one hell of a life because of her circumstances. Picked on for being rich, for being smart… for actually remembering her mother’s death. And it doesn’t help that her dad is in a gang or that he’s in prison for manslaughter or something like that.” Ashleigh shook her head again and grabbed her purse off the back seat to go inside. “She never had a chance. But I love coming up here when I come to town…”

“You better have my love child with you!” You shouted as you headed up the stairs on the side of your house that ran along the edge of the cliff which acted like a giant privacy wall for the left side your property. “Hi, I’m all sandy but still.”

“He’s with me.” Ash giggled as you wiped your hands off on your short jean shorts and stopped for only half a second to kiss her cheek. “I need a favor.”

“This is not favor town, Ash.” You said as you pulled open the back door to coo at your second cousin, Ashton. “This is Auntie love time! Hi munchkin!” 

“(Y/N), this is Colson Baker, AKA Kels, or Machine Gun Kelly.”

“Kels is fine.” Colson said as you tossed Ashton up in the air a few inches to make him laugh.

“Mr. Baker works just as well.” You cooed to your cousin as you put him on your hip and turned to head inside. “Because I’m going to assume that the favor the pair of you need involves him, which leads me to deduce that this is a business transaction of some kind. You may either follow, or stand in my driveway all day, either option is acceptable in the world today. Freedoms and whatnot. Unless you are waiting for a formal invitation in which case, I’d be more than happy to write one up for you.”

“Her social skills with new people aren’t the best either.” Ashleigh whispered as low as she physically possibly could as she slung her bag over her shoulder and followed you toward the wrought iron gate at the entrance of your atrium. “But it’s better when you get to know her…”

“I can hear you talking shit, bitch.” You said evenly as you stopped and held the gate open for your guests. You gave the stranger to you a once over with your eyebrow raised as he passed by you and gave him a slight half nod. “I don’t see the purpose of small talk and sarcasm is the best defense in the world.”

“Small talk is over-rated.” Kels agreed as he, too, checked you out as shamelessly as you had. “Nice ink.”

“Save it.” You huffed with a smirk as you walked through the guest atrium and pushed open your ten foot tall, solid wood, pivot hinge front door to reveal the breathtaking view of the Pacific Ocean you had. “What do you need? Yes, I’m putting you down.” You giggled as you set Ashton down on the floor and reached down for his hand to lead him over so he could push the window button, which made the glass panels slide open like doors into the walls so he could play out in the little private yard you had.

“Well… OK, so every year…” Ashleigh started as you helped Ashton into his favorite swing. “…we put on this concert for Christmas called XXmas. It’s fuckin’ crazy and it’s been sold out the last few years easy. It’s a two hour long set and they do some local Cleveland rappers for openers. (Y/N), you gotta see it some time. I mean, the following that Kels has managed to create…”

“The concert is in two days.” Colson interrupted when he noticed the slight hint of annoyance on your face. “And my guitarist broke his arm in a car accident last night. Now, Ash says you’re some kinda musical genius or some shit and you’d be able to help…?”

“I have plans.” You stated evenly as you kept your eyes locked on the toddler in front of you.

“It’s one night.” Ashleigh breathed, pleadingly as she took a step closer to you so you’d almost be forced to look up at her. “One night and I can make sure you are on a plane back that night or early the next morning. I’ll even pay for a private jet out of my own pocket to get you back on time to see your dad for Christmas if I have to.” With an audible sigh, you looked up at your cousin with a small shake of your head.

“Fuck you.”

“I love you, too.” She beamed, knowing that you were never going to say no to helping her out. You rolled your eyes and growled as you continued to push your cousin.

“Alright, play your songs. Which ever ones you want me to know, start playing them before I change my mind.” Colson looked a little stunned and glanced over at Ashleigh, who quickly pulled out her phone and nodded.

“She has an eidetic memory. All she needs to do is hear it once and she can memorize it.”

“Changing my mind over here.” You joked, flatly as you shot her an annoyed glare. “And it’s too close to Christmas to fight with flights so I’ll hire a jet. Hope your tickets are refundable.”

——

You choose to spend the four and a half hour flight sitting in the back of the private jet, with three different head phones in, listening to the full set list on repeat in your right ear, a narrated dissertation of someones research on further exploration of one of your original dissertations about the Milky Way’s cannibalism of surrounding stars in your left, and the feed back from your electric guitar in the head set you had over both ear buds. Your dad always told you you were crazy when you ‘nerded out’ like this, not being able to understand how you were able to have three different forms of audio stimulus going at the same time, nor how you could differentiate and focus on all three simultaneously. Even though you had your eyes closed, you could see the shift in the sun light in front of you and no matter how much you tried to ignore the feeling of eyes boring into your face, you couldn’t.

“This better be good.” You sighed as you pulled off your head set and pulled out both ear buds in an attempt to look civil.

“Three head phones?” Colson asked as you dropped the hardware in your lap and paused the two recordings on your phone.

“Keeping up with a dissertation from a colleague, listening to the set list, and messing around with it on my guitar.” You told him as you pointed to the corresponding head sets.

“Messing around with the set?” He asked as he scooted forward a bit in his chair and looked at the classic honey burst Les Paul on your lap. “Gunna share with the class?”

“Didn’t plan on it.” You responded as you tucked your legs up on the chair and held out one of the headphones. “But I’ll indulge all the same.” He nodded his head and put only one side over his ear while you handed him the other music headphone, put the original one in your ear, and pulled up the next track on the list. Your eyes closed again as the opening cords for ‘Rehab’ started playing, and you jumped right in with the riff that you had wrote in your head more to play for your father when you went to see him for Christmas.

“You wrote that?” Colson asked when you had finished. “You write music, too?!”

“No. No, I don’t.” You said quickly as you took back your headphones from him and put the extra ear bud away. “I… well, I remix songs. For my dad, mostly. When I go and visit… well I have a guitar there, and on nicer days, we sit outside and play name that tune. And I get my competitive side from him so I’ve gotten really good at recreating songs so that he can’t guess them but so they still sound like the original track.”

“So what’s he in for?” He asked innocently, which made you instantly stiffen and throw a wall up.

“Does it matter?” You retorted a little sharply. “He’s in prison.”

“Yo, my bad.” He said quickly as he held his hands up in surrender. “Didn’t know it was a touchy subject.” You nodded your head and glanced down at your lap as you started putting your headphones back in.

“Look, I’m not here to make friends, Mr. Baker. I’m here to help out some family, then I’m going home. That’s all. I don’t need friends…”

“Yea, you fucking got it.” He barked back as he got up from his chair to go back to his friends. With a shake of your head, you started your music and your paper back up, and slipped back into your anti-social bubble for a little bit longer.

——

You had never been an adrenaline junkie in your life, having had enough experiences with the club, but as you stood on the stage, playing through the set, you actually started craving the feeling. The high that the crowd was creating, feeding your soul and the music pouring out of the speakers behind you. You felt like a total rock star and you were glad that this feeling was something that you would remember forever.

It hadn’t taken you long into the set for you to notice Kels either, and not just notice, but really notice him. How sexy he looked in his low slung red pants with his ethika boxers peeking out. You hated that you were turned on by this stupid punk… but fuck if you couldn’t help but want to fuck his brains out. Even if his kid was only a hundred feet away from you, even if you never planned on seeing or speaking to him ever again. You almost needed to be under his sweat drenched body as fast as you could or your head was going to explode.

“She smiles.” Colson teased when the last cords of the last song faded away in the auditorium. You smirked and pulled out your ear phones as you handed off Ace’s guitar to the stage hand.

“Occasionally. Only when I’m having a really good time.” He nodded his head and looked around for a moment before grabbing your arm and turning you toward a side stage door. “Colson…?”

“You… are driving me fucking crazy.” He growled as he locked the door behind him with a shake of his head. “And I want to be pissed off at you for being a bitch for no fucking reason… but fuck I wanna fuck you way to Goddamn bad.”

“Oh, fuck…” You moaned as he pushed you back against a shelving unit and quickly started ripping at your jean shorts button.  “Kels… the crew… your daughter…”

“Guess I’ll just have to be quick then.” You whined at him as he shoved your bottoms off, and lifted you up off the floor by the backs of your thighs. He pushed his boxers and pants down only as far as he needed, and slid into you. Your eyes rolled back and you grabbed on to his shoulder and the shelving unit you were pressed up against. It was short, quick, and dirty, and you both got off within a couple minutes, but it was absolutely worth it… until it wasn’t.

“Thanks for helping out… and not just on stage…” Colson said, almost dismissively as you both pulled up your bottoms. You let out a huff and ran your fingers through your hair.

“Do me a favor and don’t even so much as think my fucking name ever again.” You snapped as you pushed past him and threw the door to the closet open. You walked quickly to the green room, grabbed your bag and your guitar case off the floor and pulled out your phone to call a cab as Ashleigh called out your name from across the room. As a lone tear fell down your cheek, you simply walked away from her, back through the stadium halls, and out the back door, leaving your brief lapse of judgement in the janitors closet behind you.

Part 2

[skinks]

HELLO. DO YOU HAVE ANY SPARE DILFWORTH/MAGGIE HEADCANONS 🥺 (love your writing more than life btw)

HELLO, thank you so much! Oh boy it’s difficult to come up with more stuff for characters you’re really only extrapolating a couple of pages about, but I like a challenge so here are some to build on the other big Maggie/Dilfworth post I made:

- so after the Airplane Incident they’re so engrossed in talking at the baggage claim about everything from music to shitty first jobs that Went misses his bag going around the carousel three times. In his defence Maggie’s laugh is a breathless, staccato sound like a xylophone of breezes and she runs one hand over the back of her head to grip the ends of her own dark hair every time she does, so who can blame him for trying to be his absolute funniest in between grinning like a man who’s won the lottery. Also in his defence, Maggie doesn’t leave after she’s collected hers (they both go to grab it from the carousel at the same time and kinda stare at each other, then at their touching hands. Went licks his lips a couple times and says “Sorry, don’t uh. Don’t misunderstand, I was only trying to steal it,” which makes her laugh again) and Maggie doesn’t leave because she’s busy hinting she’d like him to come visit her on campus some time, maybe next weekend? They exchange their landlines and she says “See you then, Doctor Dentist,” because there’s something about his nonthreatening calmness that makes her feel very bold in trying to ruffle it up.

- their first date is to the movies, because it’s 1971 and what else are you gonna do

- Went has the best poker face she’s ever seen, and she’d already been teasing him about being a dentist so when he asks her what snacks she’d like, she replies with a long list of the sugariest kinds they have. But he only whistles low and raises his eyebrows, sauntering off to the concession stand before she can reel him back. They eat all of it between them, and Went spends the whole movie muttering scathing put-downs about the poor choices the characters keep making and it’s the first time Maggie hasn’t ever cared about being shushed by the people in front of her

- also also also he picked her up in his car (and she’d also teased him about how she’s sure he could only drive a convertible bc he’s so tall and leggy that anything else would leave his knees up by his ears, but it’s not a convertible. It does have a sun-roof though, and after the movie they go driving, as Young People do in 1971 I guess and he’s like “Sorry the roof doesn’t fold down, I know you’d look great doing the whole Audrey Hepburn thing,” and Maggie just eyeballs him as she slides the sun-roof back. Then she’s standing on the bench seat and whooping, sticking her torso out of the roof like it’s a carnival ride and Went’s like 💕😬💕 as he holds her steady with one arm (over her dress, it’s the first date) for her dear, dear life

- I love the idea that Maggie likes sci-fi, for some reason. She loves Star Trek TOS, loves the music, wants to try and obtain a theremin for her thesis project. The first gift Went ever gives her is a signed copy of The Left Hand of Darkness when she takes him to an Ursula LeGuin talk at her college, and Maggie kisses the daylights out of him against a tree right there in the quad

- Went likes fishing and baseball and photography and fuckin... comedy records and he definitely got bullied at school for being a skinny nerd. Doesn’t have too many friends given that he’s moved cities and is generally kinda quiet, but Maggie’s friends like him. More importantly, Maggie likes him a lot, likes the endless antelope stretch of his legs when he props them up on any surface available, the lean lines around his mouth, likes how the veins on the backs of his hands form warm diamonds around the indents of his knuckles, likes that when she says “oh damn, is it raining?” rhetorically in the car at the first few drops, he rolls his window down and sticks his hand out into the wet and says “yes, Maggie, it’s raining. Wipers or no wipers, what’ll it be?” She likes to be the person he trusts enough to be silly and wry and sincere with. She likes to buy him records based purely on the cover art alone, she likes introducing him to classical music and she likes to drive his car so he can look at the maps and stick his head out the roof, and she likes that the wind makes him look like a cartoon blown up with dynamite, because he’s somehow always just in need of a haircut, and she is so, so scared he will be ensnared by the draft now that he’s left academia, as it has ensnared so many of her other friends.

- She makes fun of it, but she likes his name, “I like that Tozier has a z in it, of all things,” she says once. “I don’t know, it’s unusual. I never heard of a Tozier before.” And Went says, “Last of my kind. Like Tigger, in fact. You’re lucky you ever caught me in the wild,” as he very studiously and ineptly investigates her electric keyboard. She calls him Went most of the time, Legs when she’s particularly hot for him, but they do also have a lot of Wentworthy/Unwentworthy jokes.

- the first time they have sex is because they’re six dates deep and Went has yet to hear her sing.

- they’re lying top to toe in Went’s bed while they’re both studying (Went might be practicing dentistry now but he still has paperwork and journals to read) and he’s tapping her crossed ankle along to something she’s humming. “What’s that song? Maggie?”

“Hmm?”

“Will you sing it for me?”

“Oh, no,” she says, covering her face with her book. “No, it’s just some rock song, ignore me. I’m being disruptive to the study environment.”

Went waggles his eyebrows, examining the whole bare sweep of her legs. “That’s for sure. C’mon, you’re minoring in vocal studies, aren’t I going to hear you eventually?”

“Nope,” Maggie grins, and enjoys how warm his hand feels cupping the sleek of her calf muscle. “I’m shy.”

“The Maggie Avery I know isn’t shy, unless I’ve been wooing an impostor for the last nine weeks.”

She laughs and flutters inside, like her whole body is filled with whirling pillowfight feathers at the thought of being wooed, being courted, being allowed to exist as an interesting person and not just a skirt to be chased. At the fact that he knows how long it’s been and that he counts it in weeks, because even though they telephone a bunch, they can still only see each other at the weekends. Yeah, Carole King said it best. He makes her feel like a natural woman, alright.

“Wooing me.” She sets her book aside. “That’s what you’ve been up to?”

“Yes,” he nods, sitting up to mirror her, cross-legged. “Wooing.”

“Wentwooing,” she says, biting her lip. These games always prick up the hairs on the back of her neck.

“Damn straight,” he says, and oh, those dishy lines are breaking in lean waves around his smiling mouth. She’s a total lost cause for them. “Wooing was one of my very first Scout badges, actually.”

“Oh, so you’ve had practice?” She leans away in faux-disinterest, and her breathing picks up from somewhere deep in her body as he sways forward into the gap, like he’s charmed. She’s very aware of her heartbeat in odd places, pinking her bare heels pressed to the sheets under her knees, loud in the scoop of her clavicle. “I’m not the first to be subjected to a little Wentwooing, then, huh.”

“Not the first, no,” he allows, mild and reasonable as ever. No wonder he did well in medical school. She knows she’s not the first girlfriend, of course, just as he knows about her last ex and the others, and that’s the wonderful thing about him. He doesn’t act like other twenty-two year old boys she knows, he’s a grownup about it all. “But... I’d really dig it if you were the last. Maggie.”

She can’t stop smiling at the way he says it. Casual, contemplative, the look of a man who has cast his line and is happy to wait. It’s belied by the sound of him compulsively cracking his knuckles and the bones in his long bare feet. They’d both thrown on comfortable clothes after coming in from the rainstorm, and Maggie never knew it was possible to feel so at ease alone in a man’s room, a man’s apartment, a man’s spare boxers and faded varsity rowing tee the only things between that same man and her pretty underwear.

“I’d dig that too, Legs,” she says, and tucks her hair behind her ear to kiss him. He untucks it again and kisses her back with a heated mmph, touching her hip and her hair at once. Very light touches, but there’s something about them that makes her feel like he’s got her wrapped up completely. She swirls her arms around the back of his neck and deepens the kiss, as deep as she can manage with the way their knees are obstructive, and at the dragging quiet click of spit, Maggie finds she wouldn’t mind if he touched her firm and wanting all over, sometime soon.

She pulls back to see him flushed, his glasses kinda screwy. He makes a low sound, a sort of cross between a sigh of satisfaction and a groan of regret that their mouths aren’t still moving together. Both of his hands fall to her crossed legs, and he patters fingertips to her skin.

“I got that badge in Boy Scouts too,” he says breathlessly, after a second or five.

“No wonder you’re so good at it,” Maggie says, and raises three fingers in a salute. “Lots of practice around the campfire, hm?”

“Oh, like you wouldn’t believe,” he chortles, saluting her back. “It’s a testament to your feminine wiles I’m even interested, what with my restricted training.” He gestures at her breasts. “We never covered those.”

“Liar, you had them pretty well covered last week,” Maggie teases, her inner thighs burning as she shifts at the memory, the back row of the Aladdin Theater, her tongue in his mouth and his big, gentle hands up her shirt.

“Earned my badge.”

“Well and truly.”

“We should get to work on uncovering them, then,” Went replies, tugging softly at the hem of his shirt she’s wearing, but his eyes don’t stray from her face.

“Wentworth!” She shoves at his hand, laughing again. She has a paper on syncopation due on Friday and a performance to prep for the end-of-semester recital, but she couldn’t care less right now. Lord, she’s so happy. What if it’s love, she thinks giddily, what if I love him, and he loves me. What then?

He dodges her play-slaps to take off his glasses because he only needs them for reading, and it’s just another layer falling away from between them. He’s not Doctor Tozier, he’s not that fucking geek, in the sullen-drunk words of her project partner Jack at a party last month, he’s just... Went. Just a man, as she is a woman. He’s cute and he’s acerbically funny and he makes her feel like they’re partners in some kind of crime, even though neither of them have so much as a speeding ticket. Maggie comes to a decision.

“Alright. I’ll sing the song for you,” she says, climbing off the bed.

“Wait, really?”

“Yes, I actually—oh, here it is.” She rummages in her bookbag and produces the 7” single from its cardboard sleeve. “I bought it on Tuesday and forgot all about it, I was going to show you earlier. Such a dunce.”

“Don’t talk about my girlfriend like that,” Went says, shuffling back on his crossed legs to sit against the headboard. He looks genuinely eager. “She’s finally singing for me, don’t knock her confidence. Though, I guess we’re not getting any more studying done. Duncehood looms for the both of us.”

Maggie straightens up from the record player and unclips her hair until it falls in a dark torrent around her face. She shakes it out, feeling the strength of her voice build in her chest, feeling like she’s on fire from the glare of a stage spotlight. Getting into the mindset of a song is an important part of performance. “Would you rather study? We can study if you like.”

“No, no,” Went says evenly. His face is pink again and his eyes are very dark, watching her. “I think I’d much rather do this.”

So Maggie sings. The record cranks to a crescendo on the choruses like a runaway train and Maggie loses herself in it, closing her eyes and dancing. She’s an elegant dancer to classical music and an awkward one to rock and roll. Went is even worse, the pair of them clunking their bodies together at parties like a game of marbles because it’s funny that way, it’s funnier with two. But she tries not to feel silly, because she knows her voice is good. People tell her so. She knows it’s so, and she’s proud of her very own instrument nestled in the nave of her throat, and she wonders why it had been such a nerve-wracking prospect to let Went hear her sing. Perhaps it’s because she holds it so dear. She doesn’t know when his opinion became so important to her, but it is. The sound thunders up easily from her chest, controlled and so fluid she can almost visualize it leaving her lips like a stream, so controlled she can let the control a little loose whenever she wants to wail along with Marc Bolan, like the only rockstar in an oversized preppy shirt, get it on, bang a gong, get it on.

The record scratches to a close but she doesn’t feel finished, there’s still breath left in her yet. She segues easily into one of Went’s horribly cutting and clever comedy records, so she has an excuse for her face burning. It’s not because she can’t open her eyes and see his reaction, it’s because she’s singing about smut, of course. Every brush of the hems of his borrowed shorts against the ticklish backs of her legs, is felt. Her hair is thick and warm and her scalp is starting to sweat with all her uninhibited bouncing. Eventually she gives up and collapses to the bed, giggling and breathless. She buries her face into the covers feeling more ridiculous than she normally does in the vicinity of his generally impassive nature. He’s stable, somehow without being boring. It keeps her on her toes at least, that damnable poker face; she actually takes great delight in the way she finds herself coming further and further out of her shell, just to try and call his bluff.

“Gosh, I hope your neighbors like T-Rex,” she mumbles. She’s crouched with her knees and hands huddled under her, waiting for her fearsome blush to subside. Waiting for him to say something. She’s aware of his quiet presence at the headboard, just as she is so suddenly aware of the way his soft tee is riding up her hunched form, exposing her lower back to the fresh night air. “I’m—I should send them all an apology note for disturbing their Saturday evenings.”

“You should be charging them for the privilege,” Went croaks.

Maggie looks up at him, sharply. He stares back, still cross-legged with his hands stuffed down into his lap and a dazed expression on his face. She kneels towards him, feeling the residual magic of the music spark powerful deep through her body, between her legs. “You think I’ll pass vocal performance?”

“Jesus Christ, Maggie,” he says, unfolding his endless legs so she can straddle them. His hands are restless against her hips, moved from where they’d been hiding the thick line in his shorts. “And all this time I thought you’d been hiding the terrible secret that you’re actually a bad singer.”

She laughs against his neck. “Oh really?”

“Yeah, just awful. I figured you must be a banshee or something.”

“You did not, don’t joke!”

“I never joke,” he grins. He kisses her harder than before, restless hands squeezing at her ribcage, her thighs, just below the hemlines. Maggie presses her hips forward and grips fiercely at his ropy upper arms, gasping. “I’m deadly serious, that was—you’re a knockout at everything, it’s hardly fair.”

“Went.”

“Mags, I’m obliged to tell you I have one hell of a crush on you.”

“Went.”

“I can’t believe you’re my girlfriend,” he says, and Maggie’s stomach flips at the rare note of bemused, painful sincerity in his voice.

“Went, you can uncover them now,” she says, and shimmery heat floods between her thighs as he ruts upwards, abruptly.

“Sorry,” he pants, “what?”

“Take my shirt off, please. And I have a crush on you too, you dunce.”

He does as she asks of him and says, “Jesus Christ,” again, and a whole lot of other curse words and sweet things and silly nonsense that makes her laugh more than she’s ever laughed doing this with someone, and afterwards his hair looks the way it does when it’s his turn to stick his head out of the sun-roof.

He rolls off to collapse beside her. As soon as they catch their breath he says, “I’m gonna bring you breakfast in bed. Right now.”

“It’s 11pm!” Maggie wheezes, watching him stagger naked from the bedroom. The sight of his narrow waist flaring up into broad, bony shoulders is unbearable, now that she knows how it all feels between her legs and rippling under her hands. It makes her voracious for more. She aches wonderfully in all the right places, just like a good callisthenic stretch should.

It was quite a stretch, she thinks, and shivers, turning her head to breathe into the sweaty tangle of her own loose hair spilled across the pillow.

“Eleven is technically almost morning, isn’t it,” he calls back, clattering in the kitchen. “Plus you’ll need the energy, because we’re doing that again immediately. If you want to, of course,” he adds hastily.

“Of course,” Maggie snorts. Her cheeks ache too, from happiness. “We’ve got badges to earn.”

- anyway

- Her mom likes him too because he’s a dentist, Margaret, but her dad thinks he’s a hippie with a fake diploma because he still has sideburns lmfao. Went’s parents like Maggie, but it’s a lot to do with how she tries so hard to make them like her. She’s like, shaking by the end of day 1 of her first meeting with them like “I just don’t ever want you to have to choose,” and Went (absentmindedly fiddling with an old toy robot, they’re staying in his childhood bedroom) is like “Don’t worry, I’d choose you any time. I mean, I’d have to kill them but I’m sure they’d understand,” and Maggie’s like “I’m serious!” and Went turns to her and says, “So am I, Mags,” and then wraps all his long stick insect limbs around her refusing to let go until she’s laughing again

- He’s also very neat, he does all his own ironing so his work tunics are just right. More than once Maggie and her two roommates come back to the apartment during weekends to find him standing in socks and boxers and ironing piles and piles of everyone’s laundry, and he refuses to believe Maggie that this is weird. She thinks back to her old boyfriends who could barely flush a toilet and thinks hm, maybe it’s not so weird

- for the first few years of living together after they get married they can’t choose sides of the bed. Like, it changes all the time. “This is intimate anarchy,” Maggie says, after their tenth night in a row of switching. “I’m sure this is what the Summer of Love was all about.”

“Oh, I thought it was about cunnilingus,” Went says brightly, slotting a bookmark into his copy of Jaws and turning off the side lamp. “My mistake. Goodnight, love.”

“Wait!”

- Went comes into the delivery room after Richie’s born, looking more shaken than Maggie herself, ashen and stressed. “I could hear you screaming from out there,” he whispers, kissing her forehead and jerking his thumb back over his shoulder, bloodshot eyes locked on the swaddled bundle on her chest. “Darling. Oh, Maggie.”

“We’re alright now,” she says, hoarse. “I was just letting him know however loud he is, he gets it from his mother.”

“Him?” Went bleats, his eyes so wide. He still only needs his glasses for reading. “He? It’s a boy—we have a—”

“A son, yes,” Maggie says, and wipes at her cheeks. She’s had quite enough fluids on her face for one night, thank you. “Here, take him away from me before I lose my temper with him again.”

She nearly starts crying again when she sees how tiny the baby—Richard, that’s right, they’d decided on Richard for a boy—how tiny he looks in Went’s big, capable hands. They manage not to wake him in the transfer and Wentworth cradles him against his collar for a moment, looking lost. Then he seems to come back to himself, shooting Maggie one of his big, crinkly grins (and God, she’s still a lost cause) as he addresses the consequence of their actions.

“Did you do this?” Went whispers into the blue folds of blanket, pointing one free finger at Maggie. “Look what you’ve done to my wife. How dare you. She looks terrible.”

“Shut up,” Maggie laughs, as quietly as she can.

“She looks terrible and more wonderful than ever,” Went continues in the baby’s ear. “Is this your doing? We’ll make a good team, I think. Between the two of us she doesn’t stand a chance, by thirty-five she’ll be too beautiful to look at and then she might get some peace and quiet.”

“You’re delirious from the thin atmosphere, Legs,” she says. “Give him back, if you drop him from up there he’s done for.”

“I won’t drop him,” Went insists, “you had him for nine months, let me have a turn.” He holds onto Richard while she sleeps, but not before she grabs at his arm and sobs thank you for him, Went, thank you, and Went cries a little too and says what are you thanking me for, I’d get a participation trophy at most, which makes her laugh and say, if anyone deserves a trophy for their participation technique it’s you, and then she falls asleep before she hears his reply.

- they play so much rock and roll for Richie, Maggie makes up her own songs for him and sings to him all the time. Maggie only had older sisters, and Went was an only child so neither of them have very much experience with babies, but Maggie’s friendships with Andrea Uris and Sharon Denbrough from the neighborhood and from book club help a lot, they all seem to have wound up having their firsts in the space of a few months. She values language too much to baby talk Richie, and Went would be clueless as to how to begin, so pretty often she finds him deep in conversation about politics or baseball with Richie babbling in his high chair.

- as I said before, I hc that Maggie speaks maybe French and Italian, and Went finds it incredibly sexy. He can’t reply, of course, he just babbles along in Richie’s ridiculous Voices, it’s basically the Swedish Chef but French or Italian. He calls her Marguerite if it’s French, and Margarita in Italian (“That’s Spanish!” Maggie hoots, stroking his hair back at both temples where it’s frosting to silver already, and clasping her hands around the back of his head. “What do margaritas have to do with Italy?”

“Not Margarita,” Went says. He traces a line between all the pretty moles on her chest, sweeping down between her breasts to the one just beside her navel, the soft little rise of belly that sits in the cup of her iliac crest. That spot always flicks her hips forward with ticklish heat, and if they’re not careful then Richie might end up with a baby sibling Maggie’s not quite ready for yet. “Margherita, like the pizza. You’re cheesy, sweetheart.”)

- both of them smoked but Maggie gave it up when she got pregnant, and now Went doesn’t smoke inside the house. He of course gives it up for good after he gets cancer of the larynx in his late 50s when Richie is 30, which makes Richie quit too

- they love their son and just want him to be HAPPY even if they’re sometimes misguided about what would make him happy, but hey, so is Richie

[chaotic-public-menace]

HEY @sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes AND OTHER THOMAS SANDERS THEORISTS OUT THERE

DID YOU GUYS SEE THE INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS AND HEALTHY DISTRACTIONS BLOOPER REEL YET????

THERE'S A SNEAK PEEK AT SOMETHING THERE

OKAY So.

[SPOILERS FOR THE SNEAK PEEK AND YOU SHOULD PROBABLY GO WATCH IT?]

Towards the end (after the Hello Fresh sponsor ad, of course) there's a black-and-white flashback to a few scenes of the Selfishness vs. Selflessness video. There's then this:

And this:

He's pissed. Something's up, and he's fed up.

He's also wearing a suit (lucky bastard ngl. Love the suit, wish I could wear one), so that most likely means he went to the wedding?

That's probably what he's pissed about. I know I would be- I would rather go to a callback than a wedding. (Then again, I have no interest in any of that and would only be there for the free food and alcohol, ngl) Because why would I throw away a chance to better my life or reach for the stars for some stupid thing that'd probably end in divorce 2 years later? (NOT SLANDERING THOMAS'S FRIENDS- I'M TALKING MY LIFE HERE, NOT HIS, AND JUST GENERALISING WEDDINGS)

Completely pointless.

He could also be pissed because he drove a ways away (as wedding are usually super far away and why??? Are they??? So far????), and then his friends said "Fuck no you go to that callback u selfless nerd."

There's also this:

He comes to his usual spot for a SS video, and then says "What the fuck, everybody."

Of course, the swear is bleeped out, hence the coin. (A hassle to get a clear shot of- wanted to include it bc it was there when he was still so I might as well)

So maybe something happens, probably to the sides, causing Thomas to act strangely (or he weighs the callback vs. the wedding in his head and is mad at the sides for urging Thomas to the latter), which would make Thomas say that, and with no filter.

This could also be the introduction to a new side? I mean, he is pretty pissed off...

BUT (and here's my favorite part)

There's these:

NEW GAME BABYYYYY

I heard the classic arcade-theme music playing in the background as Roman "sentenced" Thomas to the wedding start up, and as a dude who's learning to make games and plans to do that for a fuckin' living, my ears perked up at that.

But my mind made the game connection when Thomas made the title scene to introduce the sneak peek, because it was in a classic arcade-like font.

I got super excited seeing these, because I know PewDiePie has two games out in a 16-bit style w/ similar text and themed music.

So there's the chance that the Thomas Sanders is getting a game.

It has a pokemon vibe, but also one of One Shot- an explorable world full of adventure.

There's also the obvious Mario references.

And, based of the scene in the middle one, takes place at the wedding.

I would doubt that this is just animation, because that would mean someone drew this pixel by pixel. That's something I highly doubt anyone would have the patience for.

Or- as I think more on it now, since this is really just me typing out notes for others to expand upon- what if Thomas is somehow yote into the world of 32-bit games? Now that's an idea!

Feel free to tack onto these ideas and include your own takes and theories, fellow TSS fans. HOWEVER, please reblog your ideas from this post, so I can read your ideas and expand upon those!