#he played 9s and god if 9s doesn’t fuck me up when I think of him

[tuiccim]

As Good As It Sounds

Pairing: Bucky x Bi!Reader x Nat

Word Count: 2K (I had too much fun with this.

Warnings: Smut, NSFW 18+, MFF Threesome

A/N: This was a request from the lovely @tllynn15 . Thanks so much for asking me to write this. I had so much fun with this prompt! / Divider by @whimsicalrogers​

The poker game had dwindled down to only you, Natasha, and Bucky remaining. Natasha was dealing and had a hefty pile in front of her compared to your and Bucky’s modest piles. Natasha was smirking as she eyed you both. She was very aware that you and Bucky had been engaged in *ahem* extracurricular activities together. After all, her bedroom was right next to yours and the two of you weren’t exactly quiet during your activities.

You and Bucky had begun your mutually beneficial arrangement during quarantine and had extended it even after most of the restrictions had been lifted. Bucky was amazing in bed, but you liked him too. He was easy to be with and didn’t have any expectations. Exactly what you needed right now.

As Natasha fanned out her hand of cards for Five-card Draw, she smirked with a twinkle in her eyes. You returned her smirk as you fanned out your own cards.

“$10.” You place your bet.

“Call.” Bucky says as he rubs your thigh under the table.

“Call.” Nat raises an eyebrow to see how many cards you take.

“Three,” you slide your unwanted cards across to her and brush her fingertips as you pick up your draw.

“Mmmm. Bucky?” Nat turns her attention to the supersoldier.

“Two.” Bucky discards.

“And I’ll take one.” Nat says. Her face remains impassive as she picks up her new card.

“$10.” You begin the betting again.

“Call.’ Bucky says.

“All in.” Nat pushes her pile to the middle of the table.

“You know we can’t meet that.” You eye Nat.

“Oh, that’s true. Hmmm, maybe we could come to an arrangement?” Nat smirks as her eyes bounce between the two of you.

“What would that be, Nat?” Bucky narrows his eyes.

“Let me join you tonight.” Nat says, “For the after party I’m sure the two of you are planning.”

Your eyes widen and you reach out to close Bucky’s mouth after it had dropped open.

“Natty, are you serious?” You look at her intensely.

“Yes. I’ve had to listen to the two of you for months. I want to see if it’s as good as you make it sound.” Natasha smiles.

“Nat!” Bucky says.

“Give us a minute to confer.” You pull Bucky a few steps away. “What do you think?”

“Are you serious?” Bucky asks, incredulously.

“Yeah. Tell me you’ve never wanted to try out the Black Widow in the bedroom and I’ll drop it right now.”

“I… That’s not fair. Natasha is beautiful and a badass. Of course, I find her attractive.”

“Wait, are you worried I’m going to be mad if you want to do this?” You giggle.

“You… you wouldn’t be?”

“No, I want to fuck Nat, too. And to fuck both of you at the same time, God, I’m getting wet already.” You whisper.

“Doll!” Bucky groans.

“I’ll take that as a yes. Plus, I have a three of a kind, so might not even happen.” You pull him back to the table and take your seat. “All in.” You smirk at Nat. “Three of a kind. 9s.”

“Nice. Bucky?” Nat says.

“Just a pair.” He shows his hand.

“Damn.” Nat says, “Tonight is going to be fun. Flush.”

Your mouth drops open but then curves into a smile, “well then, take your winnings, ma’am.”

Bucky chuckles as he rubs his hands together looking between the two of you.

“I’ll take them in your bedroom.” Natasha smirks. She wastes no time, snatching up the cash from the table and leading the way to your room. As soon as the three of you are in it, she grabs you first, laying a deep kiss on you while keeping a handhold on Bucky’s shirt. As soon as she pulls back from your kiss, her lips are on Bucky’s and you cage her in between the two of you, attacking her neck and shoulder with your lips. You grab the neck of the cut off sweatshirt she’s wearing, rip it open and pull the shirt away.

Natasha grabs you by the hair, “eager, are we?”

“You know I’ve always wanted you. But you won this little encounter, how do you want to play it?” You hold your hands up in surrender to Nat’s dominance in the situation.

“Oh, I like that.” Nat says and looks to Bucky who raises his hands in a similar fashion with a smirk. “Strip, both of you.” Nat watches as you both remove your clothing. She removes her leggings, but remains in her panties and bra.

“Now, what?” Bucky asks as he reaches out to bring both of you closer.

Nat holds her hands up to stop him, “On your knees, sweet girl.” She directs you and you immediately fall to the floor. “God, she has a sweet body, doesn’t she, Bucky? No wonder you’ve been fucking her silly.” Nat says as she circles Bucky, trailing her hand around his body. She comes to a stop pressing herself into his left side while her hand lightly circles his cock. “Is her pussy as sweet as I imagine?”

“Yes.” Bucky groans as he looks at you on your knees a few feet in front of him.

“Have you fucked her with your tongue, fingers, cock, everything?”

“Yes. She’s always so damn wet and hot.” Bucky moans as Nat’s hand squeezes his cock.

“I bet she’s a little cockslut for you, isn’t she? She’ll take this cock anyway she can get it, huh?” Nat smirks.

“Fuck.” Bucky says as he watches you lick your lips. He knows you are dying to taste him. To fuck him with your mouth and he’s painfully hard between Natasha’s teasing and your look of desperation.

“Look at you, sweet girl. You’re going to start dripping on the carpet soon. He’s got such a nice cock. Do you want to show him what your mouth can do?” Nat croons.

“Yes, Natty, please.” You bite your lip and look up at her.

“Crawl to him.” She commands and you obey without hesitation. When you rise to your knees in front of him, putting your hands on his thick thighs, Nat smacks your cheek lightly with his hardened cock. “Suck it but don’t let him cum.”

You wrap your lips around him and lick your way down to the base of his cock, pulling a long moan from Bucky. Nat’s hand is gently rolling his balls while you suck him. You trail your hand up Nat’s leg, rubbing her inner thigh. When she doesn’t move away or say stop, you move up to rub over her panties. You can feel her wetness as you push the panties aside and slide your finger along her slit.

“Fuck.” Bucky says as he watches his cock disappear in your mouth and your finger disappear into Nat’s glistening core. His flesh hand is wrapped in your hair while his metal one is grabbing handfuls of Natasha’s ass. You feel him begin to tighten up, a sign of an approaching release and pull back from him. Looking up at Natasha, you remove your fingers and pull her panties away. Bucky steps behind her to undo her bra and slide it down her arms.

You look up at Bucky, “Get her on the fucking bed and hold her down.”

Bucky grins wickedly and grabs Natasha. She puts up little fight and within seconds Bucky is holding her arms while you spread her knees as wide as possible. “Oh, Natty, look at your poor, sweet clit. It’s so red and swollen. It needs attention.” You lave your tongue over her causing her breath to hitch. “Fuck, you’re sweet. Bucky, baby, I need you inside me.” You gorge yourself on Natasha’s cunt. Licking, sucking, and tongue fucking it as Bucky fucks you from behind. Each time he thrusts it sends you harder against Nat.

“Fuck, oh, fuck, I’m cumming.” Nat’s body quakes as you ride out her orgasm with your tongue, feeling each quiver. You don’t let up, but instead insert two fingers. Bucky’s arm reaches around you to make swift circles around your clit.

“Close, doll. You feel so fucking good.” Bucky groans as he increases his speed. You were already so close but once his fingers found your clit, your orgasm slammed through you milking him of his. As your orgasm broke in waves over you, you curled your fingers into Nat while sucking her clit. She releases a long cry as her second orgasm crashes over her.

You lay with Natasha in between you and Bucky for several minutes while catching your breath. Looking over at Bucky, you grin at each other and each begin running a tongue over Nat’s nipples. Nat’s breath hitches at the attention.

“You didn’t think we were done already, Natty?” You say. “Bucky hasn’t even gotten a chance to feel this sweet cunt.” You nip her breast and Nat arches.

Bucky’s hand cups Nat’s mound, “How do you want it, Natty? Want my mouth or my cock?”

“Ohhh, fuck, I want your cock.” Nat breathes.

“Should we lay him out and have him at our mercy?” You whisper in Nat’s ear.

Nat’s signature smirk makes an appearance, “Absolutely.”

Together, you flip Bucky onto his back. He smiles and puts his hands behind his head, “You ladies, want to take a ride?”

“Fuck, yeah, baby. I’m gonna ride your face and Nat’s going to ride that thick cock of yours.” You straddle Bucky’s head facing towards Nat and watch as she positions herself over his cock. “Oh!” You cry out when Bucky flicks his tongue directly on your clit.

“Mmmm, I can taste both of us. So fucking hot, baby.” Bucky grips your ass as he attacks you with his tongue. He lets out a long moan as Nat lowers herself onto him.

“God, that’s hot.” You watch as Nat begins rocking on Bucky’s fat cock and you mimic her movements as you ride his face. Watching Nat’s face contort makes your pussy clench. You lean forward, reaching out for her, “Natty.”

Natasha meets your halfway and your tongues twine as you both fuck Bucky. Nat pinches one of your nipples as she increases her pace. Bucky thrusts up into Nat causing her to break your kiss with a cry. He moans against you as his tongue circles your clit. Your whole body shakes with your orgasm. Crying out, you stare into Nat’s eyes through the waves of pleasure.

When your orgasm is spent, you reposition yourself behind Natasha, straddling Bucky’s thigh. You reach around Natasha and strum her clit as you ride Bucky’s thigh. Your lips slide across Nat’s neck and she leans her head back on your shoulder. As one hand circles her clit, the other squeezes her breast, and you look down at Bucky.

“She’s so pretty, isn’t she, Buck?” You say.

“Fuck, yes. So hot and wet.” Bucky groans.

“Fuck her, baby. Show her why I can’t keep quiet when we’re together.” You say. “Ruin her like you’ve ruined me.”

“Fuck.” Bucky groans. His hands grab Natasha’s hips and he thrusts up into her rhythmically. Nat is whimpering with each movement.

“That’s it, Natty. Let him treat you good. Is his cock hitting that spot inside?” You whisper.

“Yes. It’s so good.” Nat moans again.

Your hand trails from her breast to low on her belly and you press into her. “I can feel him fucking into you. Harder, Bucky, she needs more.”

Bucky thrusts harder and Nat’s hand flies to your hair. She pulls your face into her neck. “Bite me. Mark me.” She demands.

You bite down and suck on her neck while circling her clit with swift motions. You pull back for just a second, “Bucky’s so close, Natty. Cum all over his cock for him. He wants to feel you.” You bite down harder and Nat cries out. Her legs shake as she clenches around Bucky’s cock, milking him as her orgasm slams through her. Bucky lets out a long groan as he thrusts up a few more times and releases inside of Nat.

Gently, you lay Nat down between the two of you. “So, was it as good as we make it sound?”

Nat laughs, “No. It was so much better.”

Bucky looks over at you with a grin, “Mission accomplished.”

Masterlist

Permanent: @bubbabarnes @badassbaker @thefridgeismybestie @strangersstranger @cherthegoddess @buckyluvrs @sherlocksmanwatson @cap-n-stuff @finleyjayne @caplanreads @connie326 @daydreamerinadazedworld @bugsbucky @chrisevanscardigan @harrysthiccthighss @palaiasaurus64 @rebekahdawkins @maaaaarveeeeel @learisa @jelly-fishy-babie @fistmebuckyskywalker @nerdy-bookworm-1998 @liebs82 @honestly-dontknow @a-really-bi-girl @saiyanprincessswanie @baddie-barnes @aikeia @paleo-runaway @marvelgirl7 @starlightcrystalline @xxloki81xx @slytherinambitious @sallycanwait68 @slytherdorxmd @fangirlforever2412 @rainbowkisses31 @whisperlullaby @thejemersoninferno @thehumanistsdiary @supraveng @dispatchvampire @juenenfeu @sxbby-barnes @allonszassbutt @y-napotat @reallymagnificentinfluencer @absolutemadnesss @harold321

[enigma-im]

Third Day of Christmas...

Trope: Enemies to Lovers (NSFW) Relationship: Minotaur x Human Word Count: 4,025

It all started with a note on the door.

Imani didn't expect to find a letter taped to her door that morning, or any morning for that matter. For a good couple of seconds she feared it was from her landlord, an eviction notice of some kind. That went right out the window as she read the chicken scratched handwriting.

Dear apartment 23 resident,

I'd appreciate it if you would keep the noises to a minimum after 10 pm. The singing has kept me up well past midnight. The stomping at all hours has been less than appreciated. Also, I hate to point out that your dog hasn't been a saint either, barking every morning at 7 am. So if you would please, muzzle the dog and stop the late-night parties.

                                 Signed, apartment 15 resident.

Imani is confused for a moment, walking back into her apartment while rereading the letter. All of it is not true, starting with the singing. She does not sing, especially that late in the day. The neighbor on the other hand has a daughter who doesn't understand her own volume, blaring out BTS songs at odd hours. The stomping is a ridiculous accusation, almost typical in these situations. The only time she can admit that her walking would be loud is when she first gets home and hasn't gotten to removing her shoes. Besides then, she is as quiet as a church mouse. An hour after she gets home she spends most of her time lounging in the living room. so how can she be making noises if she isn't moving?

The woman drops the note onto her kitchen table, put off by the audacity. She looks over to her little dog, shaking her head as she thinks back on the next line. Her dog doesn't bark! He is as silent as can be, never even growling. The most this 'resident' can accuse her pooch over is his nails scratching at the floor. Even then that shouldn't even register through the floors.

With the morning turned sour, Imani quickly organizes her things and heads out for work. The whole day is spent thinking hard on her letter, thinking about what needs to be done. Should she ignore it? Pretend she never got it and go on with her life? That would be the easy approach, even kinder one, but she ain't that kind of bitch.

When she got home late that day she storms into the kitchen, making sure to stop with her shoes still on, and grabs a notebook. She jots down a little message for 'resident 15' with as much passive aggression as she can put into words.

Dear resident 15,

The bold claims you have taped to my door have been read. I'd like to take the time to inform you of your misguided claims. I, for one, am not the local American Idol star. That award goes to Tiny Tina in apartment 22. I don't know why you have such an issue with her music, BTS songs are a bop.

Next on the list is my 'stomping'. Excuse me for correcting you again, but I do not 'stomp' around my apartment. The minute I get home from work I am sitting on my ass watching television till it's time for bed. So I ask you, how can I be stomping around if my feet do not move off the couch?

Finally, my dog. My dog is a saint, for your information, he is the quietest animal I have ever owned. I haven't heard so much as a peep from him since he was a puppy. Maybe check around for other noisy pooches because mine isn't the problem.

With this all said, I hope you find a solution to your problem because bugging me was not it.

                                       Sincerely, resident 23

Signed, sealed, and ready to be delivered. The next morning on the way to work she tapes the little note to the numbers on unit 15. smug, she walks out of there with her head held high.

Feeling proud of herself even further into the day she isn't ready for the speedy reply taped to her door, along with a missing doormat. With a huff, she snatches the note and heads inside. She unfolds the sheet, reading:

Dear 23,

I am not mistaken, and I'm taking your welcome mat until you know how to be a proper upstairs neighbor.

                                         -15

She gawks at the letter, put off by the blatant admission of theft. Are they a child, taking away things as a punishment? This is completely idiotic! She should march downstairs and confront the fool who thinks this is a proper course of action. Well, she would if she didn't also want to get back at them.

Throwing the paper onto the coffee table she flops down on the couch to think. What is the best way to get back at them?

A floor below rests Church the Minotaur. He is getting ready to go on a run, sliding on his sneakers as he opens the door. Glance to the side he catches sight of a gaudy plethora of stickers and glitter, his door dressed to the 9s with rainbows. He is taken aback, looking at the decorations with ire. Above it all sits a folded up piece of paper taped to the door. He quickly snatches it, reading it.

15,

Return the doormat and I'll clean your door.

                                    -23

Church chuffs, grinding his teeth as he looks to the door again. He didn't think he was being unfair when he first gave them a letter. It was a polite way to ask them to shut up. He just wanted some sleep, was that too much to ask? He looks to the door again, apparently, it was.

Imani opens the door fully expecting the letter. With a bit of a pep in her step, she grabs it, reading it as she walks to her car. She snorts, crumpling the paper and tossing it in the trash.

23,

This means war

                           -15

The next few weeks are filled with pranks of varying variety. The two start small, Imani stomping around upstairs with her heaviest pairs of boots, Church banging his hand against the ceiling during the quiet hours of the night. Next with more glitter courtesy of Church, a well-timed package that exploded in Imani's kitchen. He swears he could hear her surprised scream from below. Imani gets him back with a similar package, one with a jump scare card.

It's a back forth of one-upping the other. Church orders Imani eight pizzas, forcing her to reluctantly pay for it when seeing the nervous kid trying to deal with the mix-up. Imani manages to hook her phone to his Bluetooth speakers, playing random screams at all hours of the night. Church gets her back by attaching an alarm to her door so when walked out that morning she was startled by a firetruck worthy honk.

It seems it’s the last straw for Church when he receives his own glitter bomb of confetti cocks. It gets caught on the carpet, sneaking into the couch cushions, and sticking to his clothes. Quickly dusting himself off he charges upstairs, reaching her door and banging on it. He taps his foot frustrated and angry.

The door clicks open, Church already ready with his rant. Imani is equally prepared, excited with the chance to chew him a new one. When the two see each other they stumble on the words, looking one another over with confusion. Neither of them expected the other to be anything but some angry middle-aged person looking for a fight. They hardly assumed that the other would be so…attractive.

"I, uh," church shakes his head," You! A damn dick bomb? Do you understand how ingrained they are into my carpet? I sent you a cheap one, something you can easily clean up but you couldn't even consider that!"

"What," Imani comes back to her own," those craft herpes were not easy to clean, I'm sure it's still in the kitchen now and staining my clothes. So don't you dare come at me with 'woe is me' look like you had any consideration at all for my floors."

"Well excuse me, I didn't hack into your speakers to play Halloween screams all through the night. I damn near had a heart attack at 2 in the morning because of you," he points to her, debating on jabbing her in the chest. She slaps his hand away before he gets the chance, scoffing.

"At least I didn't make you spend money on eight pizzas! Do you know how much eight pizzas cost? It was like seventy bucks. I'm just glad you didn't splurge on something more than a single topping pizza. But fuck you for making them all pineapple you monster," she bites back.

The two ramble on long enough for the neighbors to peek their heads out. Embarrassed, they close out their argument with a huff and a door slam. Church heads off to his apartment, falling onto the couch while grumbling to himself. Imani growls and mumbles in her bed. They both can't help the thought that ruins all their anger:

God, they were hot.

The pranks don't stop in their frequency. The two continue, using their frustrations at their traitorous thoughts to fuel their revenge.

Imani still plays with his speakers, using screamo songs to annoy him in the afternoons. Church booby traps her door again with more glitter, his preferred weapon as of lately. She takes up tap dancing, he pays the kid next door to blare BTS near the shared wall of her apartment. She puts a fake ticket on his car, he puts vulgar stickers on her's. the childish game goes on and on.

Imani sits in her room one night, frustrated beyond belief with the sexy minotaur. She can't get his face out of her head. Why did he have to be cute? It's not like it makes the little game they have going harder to do. No, it just makes it seem more than it is. She has to constantly catch herself praising his wit in some of the stunts he pulls. Scolding herself nonstop for wanting to stop by his place and yell at him some, just to see him. It's stupid, wanting to actually get to know him.

Church relaxes in bed, feeling more bothered than Imani. He has hit a bit of a dry spell in his sexual life, or his solo sexual life. He can't jerk off without picturing the little hellspawn upstairs. It would be easy to give in and just think of her but it would be too much. She is an enemy, not a potential interest. So what if she is one of the sexiest humans he has ever seen? Who cares if her ability to keep up with him in this little war is kind of turning him on? It doesn't matter, right?

He sighs in defeat, "I don't think I can believe that even if I tried," he grunts as he clenches his shaft.

Imani is at home setting up her next plan when someone knocks on the door. She looks to the clock surprised at someone visiting this hour. Confused, and cautious, she gets out of bed and walks to the door. Looking through the peephole she rolls her eyes at who she sees.

Imani opens the door," if this is about the folk music I'll tell you now I'm not changing it back."

"No," he growls," this is about the tap shoes. Metal on wood makes for some very undesirable sounds."

"Well, excuse me for trying to take up a new hobby. What about you paying off the kid next door to play her music next to my wall? I swear that little demon doesn't sleep," Imani scolds.

"Speaking of little demons, can you for the love of god shut your dog up. Every morning I hear his damn barking and I'm seriously debating calling someone," he takes a step into her space, scowling at the dog behind her.

"He doesn't bark," she pokes at his chest," I have never heard him even make a yelp since he was a puppy so I suggest you come up with a better lie than that."

"A lie," he shouts," your fucking dog barks, stop thinking he is some sort of mute."

"He does not," she shouts back.

"Does too," he steps closer.

"Does not," she raises her chin.

"Does too," he grabs her hips.

"Does not," she tugs at his shirt.

"Does too," he says, lowering closer to her. Before she can get her turn he quiets her with a rather harsh kiss, mashing his lips to hers. They grapple one another, pulling the other closer as they stumble into her apartment.

Church kicks the door shut as he fumbles with her shirt. She helps, parting from him long enough to cast the clothing aside. He tugs her back in for a sloppy kiss, delving his tongue into her mouth as she unbuttons his top. Thrusting his shirt down his arms while they bump into the sofa. Church beings unclasping her bra, uncoordinated as she sucks on his tongue.

The two fall to the couch, church not wasting any time with her freshly revealed tits. Imani gasps, petting down his chest to his pants. As he suckles on a nipple as she pulls him from his pants, holding his cock in her hand. He stutters in his attentions, panting heavily against her chest as she jerks him off.

"Oh, fuck," he groans.

"Like that big boy," she steals his attention, him looking at her cocky smile.

"Shut up," he reaches down to her pants, palming her through her jeans. She bucks into his hand, rolling her eyes at his smirk. He quickly discards her bottoms, tossing them away without a care. He watches her as he pets at her pussy, delving between her lips to feel how soaked she is for him.

"Am I wrong to assume this is all for me," he pushes a finger in. she clenches her jaw, groaning from the intrusion. He chuckles, feeling rather confident as she rides his hand. Not caring for his large ego she reaches for his cock once more, feeling him throb in her grip.

"Am I wrong to assume this is all for me," she mimics back smugly. He throws her an annoyed look, removing his fingers and slapping her hand away. Dropping a hand beside her head he leans down, looking between them as he prods his cock to her pussy. They both flinch, eager above all else. They both watch as his head parts her lips, poking at her clit with short nudges.

"You think I can make you scream like those damn Halloween recordings," he jokes as he grinds into her.

"No, I don't think you have the stamina," she jabs back, trying to stop the urge to buck against him. Church leans down and nuzzles against her neck, pressing a sweet kiss under her jaw.

"I guess we will just have to see," he grins, feeling less confident than his words suggest. His cock is damn near ready to burst with just his tip being coated in her sweet juices.

Church reaches between them, pressing his cock to her entrance. He guides his tip in, stretching his arm up to rest it beside her head. The only warning he gives her is a sultry smile before he shoves forward, both crying out at the suddenness.

"Oh, shit," Church whimpers beside her ear. Imani grabs at his arms, feeling utterly stuffed. He pulls back, thrusting forward quickly. Imani appreciates him not wasting time just pistoning into her. The need has been building up all week, the denial adding a new level of appeal to this want.

He rams into her, listening to her try to hide her cries of pleasure. He feels her body tell him what he needs to know, feels her walls pulling him in with every buck of his hips. She wants him as badly as he wanted her. It's satisfying to church to know this. To know that she needs this as much as he does. Not wanting to miss a thing he sits up, grabbing her hips as he does.

"Look at you," he groans," trying to hold back those little moans and whimpers. Don't fight it, babe, I wanna hear you." Imani startles herself with a cry, arching her back as his words add kindle to the fire. She wants to pretend this isn't happening, that she isn't getting fucked by her apartment enemy. But damn, does it feel fantastic.

Church watches her writhe on the couch, his stomach clenching as he tries to fight off cumming at the sight. Her tits bounce with each clap of their hips and it's driving him wild. Reluctantly he shuts his eyes, thinking about anything else to prolong this blissful torture.

Imani wails and whimpers as her insides are set aflame. As her orgasm comes rushing to the forefront she locks her legs around his waist, grinding like a madwoman into his thrust. She cries out her pleasure, utterly wrecked as she falls apart.

Church chokes on his breath as she clenches around him. He can barely think as she holds him in a vice grip. His hips go wild as he finds himself coming to an end. It's only half a thought that he undoes her legs and pulls out, grinding against her as he cums on her stomach. Imani watches in rapture as he tosses his head back and moans, the sound going straight to her already throbbing clit. She watches him spray out over her and she can't look away for even a second.

Church falls onto his hands, panting as he holds himself over her. He can't believe it. He got to fuck the cute hellspawn that has been tormenting him all month. At this moment he couldn't even think about the countless hours of sleep missed because of her little pranks. Right now all he can think of is holding her close and taking a much-needed nap. As he attempts the action he looks to her stomach.

Imani is bone-deep satisfied. Her body is relaxed against the couch and she feels like she's on cloud nine. She hardly notices when Church climbs off her, his footsteps fading away. When she does notice, it stabs at her heart a little. She watches him button up his pants, reaching to the floor to grab his shirt. I guess he's leaving, she thinks.

Church grabs his shirt from the floor, bunching it up as he turns back to her. She looks surprised when he crouches beside her and mops up the mess on her stomach with his top. He wants to laugh at the shocked expression but bites his cheek against it. With her all clean he tosses the shirt away and crawls in beside her. The couch is rather small so he lifts her onto his chest, lounging on his back. He cradles her against his front, ready to take a well-deserved nap.

Imani is rather confused as she watches him fall asleep. She fully figured he would dip after everything, she surely didn't expect anything from this. They were still in a war. A truce was never called but she can't help but think this changes something.

Shrugging, she snuggles up to him, enjoying his soft fur against her cheek. This is a problem she will deal with in the morning.

Imani wakes up alone in her bed. She is nearly tempted to figure the night with Church was all a dream till she feels the subtle ache in her legs. Ride a bull, you should expect some soreness. She chuckles to herself as she dresses. Walking into the kitchen she prepares for a lazy day indoors while she figures out how to deal with Church and her's relationship. As she gets ready to feed her pup does she realize the lack of said pooch.

"uh, Giovani," she calls out. No answer. She calls out again, searching around her apartment frantically. Did he get out while the door was open last night? Surely she would have noticed if he managed to sneak past. She rounds the apartment again just in case before she runs to the door, throwing it open in a rush. Out of the corner of her eye, she spots something hanging on her peephole. She tenses at the sight, snatching it.

Imani I have your dog Church

Imani scoffs, crumpling the letter as she marches downstairs. She can't believe she let herself think that things would change between them. That this little prank war can be swapped out for an actual relationship, friendship or otherwise. Above all, she can't believe he stole her dog.

Rounding the corner and stopping at door 15 she pounds her fist against the wood. She continues pounding till the door opens, revealing a smirking Church.

"Hello, babe, what brings you here so early," he asks, leaning against the frame.

"You stole my fucking dog, I want him back," she snaps, no ounce of playfulness available. Church nearly stutters on his act, a little worried about her protectiveness over her dog.

"Now, I stole him for his own good," he explains," with his separation anxiety I figured it is best if he got used to my apartment since I'm going to take up training him."

Imani scoffs," Excuse me? My dog doesn't have separation anxiety nor does he need to be trained by some dog snatching idiot with horns."

Church deadpans," idiot with horns?"

"It's early, they can't all be gold," she rolls her eyes," doesn't matter, give me my dog back."

Church shakes his head, frustrated at her denial. Instead of answering her, he calls for the pup, leaning down to pet him when he comes trotting over. With the dog properly excited he takes a step into the hallway with Imani and shuts the door. Imani looks from him then back to the door.

"What are you doing," she asks.

"Just wait," he holds up a finger. They both stand silently, nothing happening. Imani opens her mouth to acknowledge the ridiculous of waiting in front of a door when her dog begins whining, yelping loudly from inside the apartment. Church looks over to her with a smug grin, "Told you he barks."

Imani flusters, gawking at the door and listening to her dog cry out. Church opens the door, the pup running out and jumping at Imani. Still embarrassed, she pets at her dog before picking him up and walking away. Church watches her turn the corner, not saying a word as she departs. He sighs.

It's a good day of nothing that picks at Church. Surely he didn’t push too far, he didn't really intend to keep her dog so it wasn't that mean. He just wanted to prove that her dog did bark, finishing the month-long war on a hopeful note. It wasn't meant as another attack against her. He really did intend to help by offering to train her dog.

Throughout the day he debates going up there and apologizing, to offer an olive branch of some kind so he can actually get to know her. Last night for Church was…amazing. It was something he wants to do again, to explore further. That may be a pipe dream now.

Late into the afternoon church gets a knock on his door. He jumps up, feeling rather stupid as he quickly answers the door. Expecting Imani he is left disappointed as no one is there. No one could have left that fast. He looks down the hall, left to right. Nothing. With a defeated sigh he begins to close the door. He stops when a fluttering piece of paper catches his eye. Excited, he snaps it off the door unfolding it swiftly.

Church,

Dinner at my place, 8 pm

                               -Imani

Church smiles to himself, refolding the paper and heading back inside to get ready.

[some-creep]

CREEP RANKS EVERY SONG IN NIER... AUTOMATA (mostly) BY TITLE

Because, like, no one played Gestalt. Also this game has more songs.

Significance Like. I guess. It’s a title you can use. What is significant? We don’t know. The characters don’t know. They are struggling to find out. We all are. What is meaning? What really matters? I don’t know but we’re all crying. 8/10

City Ruins – Rays of Light / Shade Plays in the ruins of the city. Exactly as advertised. Sounds sad like you might imagine. 9/10

Peaceful Sleep This is the Resistance camp right? Peaceful things don’t tend to happen there honestly. At least not as we keep going. Sounds like a sleepy JRPG town though. Ok title for the mood it gives. I like this song a lot so I’m cheating and giving it more points than I know it deserves as just, like, a title. 8/10

Memories of Dust Sand is dusty. What memories? We’re making them. Cool title. Sounds like a YA novel though. 9/10

Birth of a Wish Genuinely often get confused with the Silent Hill 2 bonus story Born from a Wish whenever I try to remember what this song is called. This Cannot Continue / 10

The Color of Depression This is like… a really cool title. Thanks. That Scanner boy is not gonna live the happy family life you all for some reason keep suggesting he is. Bad things are gonna happen to him. He dies anyway. 11/10

Amusement Park Yeah. I guess. We certainly are in the amusement park level. Creep why does this one rank so much lower than City Ruins which was also just “name of location”. Amusement park is not a cool title. City Ruins is a cool title. 7/10

A Beautiful Song Would you say Simone has girlpower? Would you say Simone successfully used her girlpower to kill and consume countless androids and also turn them into near lifeless weapons and body jewelry? 9/10

Voice of No Return Sad title. Sad song. Exactly as advertised once again. I feel sad listening to the Automata OST most of the time. Is this quest complete in the camp? I think so. Anyway it’s really sad. I love to cry. 11/10

Grandma – Destruction Um so this is like. Genuinely a horrible title. It reminds me of the title of a darkweb video which I will say no more on. This song is REALLY good its a shame this title is so… uh. Bad. It’s just bad. 1/10

Faltering Prayer – Dawn Breeze / Starry Sky This is another really cool title. This game is about like… life after god. I’m not here to get thematic. I say in a list entirely about if the song fits the theme. Anyway this is a cool title. The song again… sounds sad.  One of them is a music box which I love. Cheating again. 10/10

Emil’s Shop EVERY DAY’S A SALE. EVERY SALE’S A WIN. 12/10!!

Treasured Times The fact this plays after Emil’s shop on the OST is the biggest tonal whiplash in the world. This song makes me feel an emotion I cannot describe. It’s something like sadness but not quite. This isn’t a review of the songs, just the title. But reading the title makes me feel that emotion too but stronger when I think about it. I don’t know. 9/10

Vague Hope – Cold Rain / Spring Rain Good title… Thematically very appropriate. Not COOL like some of the others but it feels right feels canon. I like it. It’s just the city ruins quest complete song but it also plays in one of the fucking… DLC fights. That makes me extra sad. 10/10

End of the Unknown Which unknown was ended. Genuinely think when this plays I had more unknowns than knowns. This song sounds like every song from the Gestalt DLC. 6/10.

Pascal At least Automata has far fewer “named after a character” songs. They just have named after a place songs. I love Pascal so if I give this a low score he might be upset. 8/10

Forest Kingdom It really… the forest huh. Random but one of the songs in Code Vein does a vocal thing that always reminds me of this song for some reason. That has nothing to do with this game or this songs title at all I just wanted to tell you. Long Live The Forest King / 10

Dark Colossus – Kaiju This song is also in Gestalt. It’s cooler here. More stakes. Song title suggests less stakes though? That’s kinda weird. Because of this it loses points. I’m sorry. 7/10

Copied City Dude I left this one off the list when I first typed it out lol. Someone not to @ anyone told me this was based on Nier’s village. Lie to me again. I don’t know what City is being Copied. One of them. It reminds me more of the Cathedral City from DoD3. Which is a bad horrible game that I completed 100%. 8/10

Wretched Weaponry Not to be confused with Wretched Automatons. Is this like, a remix? My ears don’t work so I don’t know. Don’t inform me because I love being stupid. Anyway, in the narrative it makes sense. It’s a good, cool title. Song is softer than the title would suggest. 9/10

Possessed by Disease COOL SONG TITLE. Thank you. This plays… somewhere. Uh. Hm. I’ve 100% completed this game like three times. 9/10

Broken Heart You think you’re gonna hear a sad song? SURPRISE. Sinister as hellllll. Subverted expectations baby. MCU take notes. I’ve never seen a movie in the MCU. Loving the dark tones in this. Broken heart but the emotion isn’t just sad. GOOD STUFF. 10/10

Mourning Again. You think it’s gonna be sad? But BOOM. It isn’t. I mean it still is, but in a dark way. These aren’t song reviews. These are title reviews. But if a title suggests one thing and delivers another that’s still a valid point right? I don’t know. Hey wait isn’t this just Shadowlord’s Castle? Yonah / 10

Dependent Weakling Well, it’s no Song of the Ancients – Fate, but it’ll do. In all seriousness, this is like, a great song title for Eve’s boss battle. Y’know, because he relied so heavily on Adam and all’a that. Maybe a little on the nose. Maybe a little rude. Eve sucks / 10

Rebirth & Hope Sounds hopeful. Plays during ending A where we see a Rebirth cos 9S super doesn’t die. This song is literally 30 seconds long why am I even bothering. Oh, right, because it’s on the OST at all. 30 second songs / 10

War & War Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here, this is the war room. It… sounds like a war room song. A preparing for a big battle song. Once again, exactly as advertised. Plays before a big battle. It really thematic naming! Peace was never an option. 8/10

Crumbling Lies Words cannot express how much I adore this song. First of all, title is on point. It’s the song that plays when you get to  Route C. Literally the moment I fell in love with the game. The Bunker is destroyed, which, again… maybe it’s a bit on the nose. I don’t care. This is the perfect song title to the perfect song. I will die on this hill. 12/10

Widespread Illness Red Eye except it’s robots now. Very thematically appropriate. Everyone is dying. There’s nothing you can do to cure it except kill them. They’re incredibly infectious. Zombie Virus but with Robots. Can you tell I don’t remember what it’s called? I’m writing this at 1am and I’ve decided it’s funnier if I don’t look anything up. Sounds very somber… I like it. 9/10

Fortress of Lies Not to be dramatic but when I read this English title I was like MMMMMMMNNN because like. I get it. It plays in the Bunker. Which… is built on lies. Again. Incredibly on the nose but when I learned what the song was called I just fucking DIED the first time. I’m stupid. I don’t care. 11/10

Song of the Ancients – Atonement Another song I died when I learned the title of. Devola and Popola in that game have nothing to atone for. They are atoning for sing they did not commit. Punished for the crimes of another set of Androids, possibly thousands of miles away. It’s not fair. They have nothing to atone for. They’ve done nothing wrong. 12/10 crying creeps.

Blissful Death FUCK. This one plays in the Devola and Popola like. Text Adventure part. Which is just. I love it so much. No one dies in that though. Well… maybe someone does. It’s not impossible that Popola hurt someone. It’s suggested that, maaaaybe she did. No one stops. No one Stops.

Emil – Despair Emil’s life has quite literally only been despair. Please don’t bully him with your song titles like this… 9/10

Alien Manifestation Vintage meme of that guy from the history channel with the impact font that just says Aliens.  This game has aliens, I will give you that. They’re all dead though. I guess the machines are aliens but. Eh. Wait doesn’t this play in the castle? There aren’t even aliens there what the fuck. 5/10

The Tower There’s a tower. This plays there. Thank you. Also the name of a tarot card I think? That could be cool if I knew a single goddamn thing about tarot cards. I don’t. 6/10

Bipolar Nightmare Cool flying section. Has anyone found Grun skip yet? Because the bounty for that was like. A lot of money. Vaguely a cool song title. I kinda like it. Although for some reason it reminds me of The Evil Within’s Japanese title, Psychobreak. So I think I like it less because of that. Not the worst title, but maybe the lowest of the COOL EDGY song titles. Fucking love the piano part in this one though. 7/10

The Sound of the End Really super cool and sexy song title. 2B is going to die but she can’t let anyone else get hurt because of it. She’s already done so much damage. This song is really dramatic sounding. The title is dramatic. Love this one a lot. The actual playable segment is kind of a struggle. But I think that’s the point… 10/10

Weight of the World / End of YoRHa I once got into an internet fight because I said this song is about every character except 9S because of the line “I’m only one girl”. I was corrected that the Japanese version is basically EXCLUSIVELY about 9S. None of this is relevant at all I just wanted to remember it. I still do not like 9S. Thematically a brilliant title. Everyone feels like they must do so much… but you cannot bear the weight of the world alone. Ending E legitimately makes me cry. Whenever I think about the messages from other players supporting me? It’s a lot. What the fuck. 12/10

[kinkymagnus]

Twi YouTube AU?? 👀

dlgjk ok i dont have a coherent au idea i just like the idea of like. 

alec being this confident youtuber man who does all sorts of shit, like funny vlogs and maybe some sketches with his siblings or some lets plays or something, idk, he’s just a popular youtuber like, idk, fuckin markiplier or something, you know, kinda does a lot of stuff. maybe some fashion/interior design shit? idk? but like. he’s pretty popular and if there’s any list on tumblr that’s like “some queer creators you should try watching” he’s always up there because he’s pretty open about being gay. maybe at first he wasn’t in the earlier youtube days but he had a pretty emotional coming out video and everyone was like “holy shit” 

meanwhile magnus is like, a quietly popular youtuber, you know? kind of a niche audience, but with decent numbers. he does a lot of things, like vlogs about being trans. like, oh my god. magnus documenting his transition? would that even be a thing? wait oh my god is this mundane au, or is this canon? because twi magnus who’s actually a warlock with a youtube channel would be hilarious but maybe not a good idea. you know what? how about a mix. he’s mortal and was born in modern times and all, he’s like the same age as alec–idk why but i’m thinking he’s like a few weeks older or a month or two older than alec and alec jokingly teases him about being old–but he like…. still has magic, because why the fuck not. actually, you know what? fuck it? it’s an au where magic is just openly a thing. not even necessarily canonverse magic, just. some people have magic. magnus does little tutorials and shit, he has a real talent for it and he’s actually really powerful but he hides that. (possible plotline: some paparazzi discover he’s like, a level ten mage, and it’s a scale from 1-10 and 8 is the most powerful u get most of the time, there’s been a few really famous 9s and there’s been one 10 ever and that was fucking merlin. you feel. because why not. idek fuck.) anyway he has little diy make your own magical charms and weaving enchantment and safe summoning circles and tips for writing magical contracts and shit like that. he’s this cute little nerd but he’s like incredibly knowledgeable and he knows how to teach it in a way that’s understandable and accessible? and he answers questions in really clear ways, and he does amazing demonstrations that look so cool people accuse him of editing but he’s just That Good. and he’s like, actually a really well-published wizard/magic scientist, he invented the fucking portal, but probably under a pseudonym because he doesn’t really want the attention. (his last name is fell in honor of his mentor. yes. although if he does multiple ones he may or may not also use loss, santiago, rollins, etc.) anyway he’s just so fucking good, he has all these videos explaining magical theory in pretty easy to understand ways (maybe going from really simple to like “i understand the basics here and am ready for the technical terms but need an overview” videos you know. 

also he doesn’t just do magic videos, because i said so. also maybe some blogs, and like. because i want to. some fashion/makeup tips. and it’s weirdly endearing because it’s not something you’d expect since he doesn’t wear makeup that often–although a) there are def gifsets of his full makeup looks on tumblr, and b) when he does occasionally decide to wear lipstick or eyeshadow or whatever, most of his fans are like omg yes!! u look cute! also headcanon: twi magnus wears less makeup in general but he still indulges in nail polish. mostly dark/muted colors on his fingers, but bright silly colors on his toes. NAYWAYWYA

also magnus bane is his chosen name because he wanted something cool and wizardy sounding and undeniably masculine. 

also he’s so fucking sweet like look his videos are pretty popular because they’re just handy but he’s not exactly like, a super popular celebrity or anything, you know? but when he does meet fans he’s so incredibly sweet and he does selfies and he’s very appreciative of his followers? he’s so genuine? 

and alec is way more popular–not that he’s not kind and appreciative of his followers. it’s just the thing is, magnus and alec are totally opposite sides of youtube. alec is friendly charismatic completely non-magical youtuber, he plays video games with his sister and like, does vlogs and reaction videos and shit you know. magnus is out here with educational tutorials and excited rambles about magical theory. (i feel like sometimes he accidentally starts doing groundbreaking research for a video and forgets to like, publish it first, and people are like wait what the fuck holy shit) 

but then they fucking meet. 

and a) they’re Instantly smitten. b) this will eventually result in the weirdest collab ever. 

like NO ONE would expect magnus bane, tarot reader and tutorial on magic diy and shit, occasionally does makeup videos and little vlogs and talks about Issues sometimes, to collab with typical hot vlogger gamer man alec lightwood. but it happens, and somehow it’s the best fucking thing ever.

i’m not sure how their channels collide. maybe alec plays a game involving magic and magnus talks about all the ways it’s right/wrong but it ends up just being bantering and giggling and magnus may or may not end up leaning into him on the couch their sitting on and giggling as he makes a stupid joke with the character in the game and immediately everyone’s like…… we ship it

not that i support irl shipping but u know how it goes, everyones like “damn they’re cute” and they’re both openly queer so there’s that. i mean, still not cool, but you know

but really tho they keep doing collabs after that and become actual friends and both start kind of….. doing things for each other’s channel? magnus does a thing like “interview with someone who knows nothing about magic” and we just see a total mundane take on magic and honestly it’s really interesting for both of them, we have more “magnus, who’s an Old Soul and despite having a youtube channel is actually not that great with technology, raphael does all the editing, tries to play video games and kinda fails at it but he gets the hang of some of them”?? he likes puzzle games and mariokart, he does NOT like super smash bros because “THE CHARACTER NEVER DOES WHAT I WANT IT TO ALEXANDER” “you’re just jealous bc i beat ur ass” “you wanna play mariokart again, lightwood?!” 

magnus does a tarot reading for alec, alec does a vlog with him just like “day in the life of alec lol :P” and there’s moments where he just comes up behind magnus like “hey what’s up” and magnus, who’s in rumpled home clothing, sees the camera and chuckles and kinda half heartedly waves it away, and the audience loses their mind at how cute he looks lkdhjgfh

they just become actual good friends, you know? it’s weird bc you wouldn’t think it would work but it really, really does

also on of alec’s fans at some point tries to make a transphobic crack at magnus during a livestream and alec goes OFF on his ass and it’s trending for the next week, the clip goes viral, it’s like “HIMBO GOES OFF ON HATERS FOR BEING TRANSPHOBIC TO HIS FRIEND/POSSIBLE LOVER?” and alec apologizes to magnus for all the attention it brought them but magnus is like “it’s okay, we can use this” and they end up using the hype to do one of those charity livestreams youtubers do and all the proceeds go to something like mermaids or the trevor project, you feel? they’re like “suck it transphobes look at all this money you got trans ppl” khjfgh

ok but eventually they do get together, not on camera, and while it’s slow at first and kind of secret (from the internet, not from friends and family) they’re also not super subtle. they know they’re not, but they’re just sort of like “it’s no one’s business, we’ll announce it when we’re ready”

and honestly tho they love each other so much

also i’ve just decided it’s not uncommon for strong magic-users, even like, level 4 or 5 and up, to have marks, so while his cat eyes are usually glamoured maybe he showed them after a q&a or in a vlog or something? and there are like. lots of gifsets of this, okay, and like, lots of thirst comments. which are like, this weird mix of slightly uncomfortable, really flattering/validating, and embarrassing (in a good and bad way). anyway, magnus has cat eyes in this au, because i fucking said so.

ANYWAY back to their relationship, they’re in love

how did they meet? maybe at a con they bumped into each other, or a totally random fan was like “y’all should do a collab” and everyone was like “what”

or maybe a mutual friend and fellow youtuber, meliorn, who is a nonbinary youtuber who fucking has a sword don’t question me, introduces them? 

idk. but when they meet they hit it off instantly and flirt and end up getting coffee and they don’t date for a while (maybe mutual pining/misunderstandings like “oh he doesn’t like me like that, but it’s okay, we can still be friends :)” or something lkfgjhfgh) but eventually they end up getting together

how? no idea. let me think about it.

idk why but im thinking they’re filming at magnus’s apartment and they’re on his couch and just. late night. they’ve finished up filming but they’re still bantering and maybe playing some video game like mariokart or watching a movie together and just. magnus is leaned all the way into alec, just snuggled up and pressed close against him, alec ends up putting an arm around him, and alec cracks a joke or teases him and magnus sits up a bit to like, poke his chest or flick his nose (you know what i mean? like in an otp person a shifts, still kinda sitting in their lap, and is like [playfully hits shoulder or boops nose or something] and now they’re making eye contact and person b ends up pulling them into a soft kiss???) anyway THEY MAKE EYE CONTACT AND ALEC PULLS HIM INTO A SOFT KISS and alec almost pulls away when he realizes what he’s done but magnus makes this soft little happy noise and leans into him, kissing back, and they just end up kissing for a bit and when they break apart alec is just looking up at him with breathless wonder and magnus is looking down at him with that same soft reverence and alec blurts out something like “you’re magical” and magnus just loses it and he’s giggling and leaning against alec’s chest and alec starts laughing too and magnus can feel the vibrations in his chest and it’s just so nice and pleasant and wonderful and they may or may not end up making out 

they have to talk about it in the morning when they end up falling asleep together in magnus’s bed, cuddled close, but they find, to both of their delights, they both want to date and be in a serious relationship and it’s so fucking good ok 

they go to dinner and the transition from friendship to romance is a little awkward but so worth it, especially when they realize HEY IT’S BOTH YOU DONT STOP BEING FRIENDS WHEN YOU DATE. i mean like, they didn’t not know that, but it’s like, idk how to explain you know they’re kinda like “are we doing this right” and then they’re like “fuck doing it right we can keep cuddling on the couch and giggling and bantering over stupid shit and watching dumb movies and kicking each others asses in video games it doesn’t matter we just also kiss and have dinner more often and sleep together and also we may or may not be in love” 

also they’re That Couple. they’re like straight to the honeymoon, they’re domestic from the first week. magnus is casually doing magic around the house (imagine: he just dyes his hair on a whim and grows it out a little bit and alec is like “i love u no matter how u style ur hair and stuff, and like, ur usual look is so fuckin cute and handsome, but also I Love This.”) but like he’s like (casually summons small ball of light to read book at night) (casually makes alec little protective charms–side note alec def makes him some of these too, but he asks magnus’s old mentor, ragnor, and two of his friends that can do magic, catarina and dot, to enchant it, since he can’t himself, and having magic woven by people who care about him will make it stronger. oh mhyhogfd) and just like. magic used to be something he mostly kept to himself (this def has something to do with his parents–his mom, who he thinks killed herself because of his eyes/magic, his birth dad who’s a powerful sorcerer–level 9, actually, and they think magnus is level 8 for a long time–who was an abusive fuckstick) and then he started doing youtube and it was a kinda show, a gift, something to share, but still not really something he just used openly in front of people he cared about (other than his close friends, since most of them do magic too anyway) but with alec it’s so easy to do that casually?? it’s so easy to just feel comfortable and safe????? yes

anyway they do eventually “come out” as boyfriends, maybe something short and sweet like just. a tweet of magnus sleeping curled up on alec’s chest and he’s like “god i love my boyfriend

they were already not subtle but now that they’re not hiding it they’re so fucking blatantly in love tbh. they do one of those boyfriend tag videos and it’s fucking adorable, at high request they do some couples games kind of videos, like the newlywed game and fuck marry kill (mostly on alec’s channel but magnus has a few, too) and it’s just HIGH QUALITY FUCKING CONTENT

also originally i was just thinking something along the lines of “in canon verse, twi alec is instagram famous/famous on social media and he gets cute tarot boyfriend and is like look at my cute boyfriend and then magnus’s small insta account mostly for his business gets a fuck ton of new followers and alec’s gets a considerable amount too” and now i’m imagining everyone from their respective audiences first thirst-following the other, then actually getting invested 

but really tho they’re the internet’s hottest couple for a while it’s great

for some reason i’m picturing them doing a live tour now, with like, accessible tickets and magnus does magic live on stage and idek what else they’d do tbh but it’d be fun as fuck

anyway this au got away from me

me: i dont have any real coherent ideas

also me: [vomits a 2,500+ word ESSAY] 

[morphogenetic]

why you should play the ds version of 999 first and not the nonary games version: a thread

excuse the formatting of this bc im copying it from my twitter as text, but: why you shouldn’t play the nona/ry games version of 999 on your first run, a thread. lots of this has been said by other people too but i figured i would condense my opinions + what other people have said. 999 spoilers ofc, also vague vlr spoilers later on but the 999 spoilers are a lot worse lmao.

this is ABSURDLY long and i am sorry but tl;dr spoiler free version: buy tng anyway so you can easily play vlr in hd and to support the games, but play 999 on either a ds or an emulator if you have to because boy howdy the story is really meant for this platform (if you’re replaying 999 in the tng version after originally playing the ds version none of this applies LMAO)

(also this isn't meant to at ALL be angry at people who played the t/ng port first! im sad y'all didn't get to experience the dual screen version, but at this point t/ng is much more accessible and a lot of people don't even KNOW about the ds-original thing, so it's not your fault!!  like i WISH to god that they had ported it in some dual-screen/two-screen way, but the fact that they didn't isn't anyone's fault. ok end this part y'all are so valid i just feel sad that you didnt experience the game in its Best State)

spoilers below the cut

1) the big one: the implementation of the dual screen thing. they were always going to have a hard time implementing this on not-a-3ds, but i'll start with the non-spoilery part: action mode...is bad. the fact that they force you into it. is bad. novel mode is more passable but the fact that they default you into a mode with nearly 95% dialogue-only, in a visual novel, is..pretty gross, and the fact that they force-switch you into novel mode sometimes anyway is. maybe an indication that having a 95% dialogue route in a visual novel...wasnt good

  they EASILY could have done a split-screen mode instead, and while that wouldn't have been ideal either, it would still have allowed for the incorporation of both screens simultaneously without having to make compromises

also, petty spoiler thing, but some of the dialogue rewrites to make action mode flow better took out one of my fave pieces of foreshadowing. the main example of this is in junpei's flashback thing to getting kidnapped near the beginning of the game. in t/ng, they had him voice the 'huh, did i leave that open?' line, with respect to his window being open because, you know, zero 'bout to kidnap him. in the original, this is /not/ on the top screen (i.e. voiced by junpei) - it's on the bottom screen. without quotes, i.e. it's not something he's thinking but it's there, in the same formatting as the rest of the descriptions. in other words.....zero is the one saying 'huh, did i leave that open?' in real time, foreshadowing the dual screen twist. this is SO minor in comparison to everything else for SURE but the fact that this got left out still makes me so sad bc i LOVED it. anyway.

 (also the fact that the narrative mode twist of all the random gore descriptions being food-like makes WAY more sense in retrospect with the dual screens, because of course a fucking 12 year old wouldn't know how else to describe gore lmao. this is kind of lost in t/ng because it makes it out to be more of something that jun/pei is thinking but i digress. dual screen for dual protagonists good thanks)

2) (YES IT TOOK ME THIS LONG TO GET HERE. SH) the final puzzle.....in t/ng....fucking sucks. not only because the puzzle itself sucks, which uh...it does (PASSWORD IS THE PASSWORD?? FUCKING REALLY??). but a) it loses the theme-ing of the sudoku itself since, yknow. 9s everywhere but, 

b) more importantly, it just...doesn't have the same punch to it. even ignoring the fact that the sudden upside-down-ness is one of the best ways i've ever seen a puzzle suddenly hit you with a plot twist/a revelation, in this case the 'oh shit, we were solving puzzles from akane's viewpoint the whole time and /only now/ are we truly doing it with junpei being the input source' is just. fucking masterful. explaining this is so hard but i promise it makes sense. like obviously the twist w the dual perspectives thing is revealed right before but the fact that they suddenly (literally) flip the entire game on its head is just. *chef kiss* so good. 

also, adding to this, c) the fact that the tn/g version took out the fact that you were seeing baby!kane's face while you were doing the sudoku just adds to the emotional impact of the puzzle. like, in that moment, the puzzle itself isn't the relevant factor, it's the fact that you're doing the puzzle to save her. i no joke started fucking CRYING irl when that happened bc of how hard that hit me emotionally and the fact that they didn't even have something to mimic that in t/ng makes me so goddamn sad. it's not about the puzzle, its about Saving someone via the puzzle, and they just...removed that part. h

(also another dual screen thing here bc i forgot to add it earlier: the constant perspective-swapping thing during the true end feels much less awkward on the ds since you can just naturally shift your eyes between the screens. again, minor, and there probably was never going to be a great way to implement this with a single screen regardless, but it really does flow so much better with two screens. 3ds port of tn/g when)

3) finally, a more Controversial Opinion, but the timeline flow, while absolutely great for replays, kind of ends up spoiling you on the fact that there are multiple timelines that you have to search through for the truth. i wouldn't have minded this so much if the timeline feature in t/ng only unlocked after you hit your first ending, but they didn't do that - they let you look at it from the very start, which really..misses the point of the game. 

(minor vl/r spoilers incoming) in vlr, the fact that you know you have multiple branches from the start makes sense, especially both because it's SUPER obvious that there are branching points (door choices, allying/betraying, etc). obviously 99/9 has choices like that too ala the door choices, but you're actively -not- jumping between timelines. that's the point! because junpei CAN'T jump!! he's an esper, sure, though maybe only one by accident/strong emotional connection [thats a whole different thread LMAO], but the whole point is that he can't make timeline choices  in the same way that phi and sigma can literally timeline shift.

(end v/lr spoilers here i think) tl;dr the timeline feature is great for replays bc its super anti-frustration but boy howdy they did not implement it well. final point:  the fact that you have to play 999 from the beginning every time you get an end makes sense narratively since akane has to do the same thing - she has to go through the whole route (in junpei's head ofc) over and over, she can't just skip around. again, anti-frustration feature that i'm glad they added, but you still lose something w t/ng this way

like ngl, having to fast forward through things instead of just skipping around is annoying as hell, but akane had to do the same goddamn thing! probably way more than we actually have to do it in the game, tbh. definitely this is me prioritizing certain limitations of the ds hardware as important to the narrative but you really do end up missing out if you can just skip at will

4) very minor thing that isnt actually a plot thing at all but  some of the puzzle dialogue is infinitely funnier when you have the ability to see the characters on the top screen talking at the same time you have the puzzle stuff on the bottom screen. this mostly applies to all the stuff with the cards w all the player faces on them in the...cargo room? like it's still funny without it but somehow seeing santa talking about himself on the card when he says 'that's one handsome son-of-a-bitch!' is 500x funnier when you literally see him TALKING about himself

JESUS FUCK THIS IS LONG IM SO SORRY IF YOURE ON MOBILE

[blessuswithblogs]

Top Ten Videocons of Twenty Seventeen, More or Less

2017 has, by all accounts, been a fantastic year for Video Games. Unfortunately for me, it has been a not so fantastic year in Having Money. So while in a perfect world my now annual game of the year list would have been a terribly contested and dramatic affair of cutting games I thought were good but just didn't make it, in actuality, I had to scramble and cheat a little to just find 10 games to slot in and talk about. I did at least manage to find them. Mostly.

10. Destiny 2

Destiny is a franchise with a troubled history, which feels weird to say about something that came out in late 2014. Nevertheless, Destiny 2's shooty looty gameplay loop finds its way on to my list. The story is tepid and the characters, with a few exceptions, are scarcely worthy of memory, but the visuals are good and the core mechanics of shooting and using abilities are a solid foundation to build upon in the inevitable flurry of DLC packages and expacs. It's all quite reminiscent of Borderlands, except without the unmistakable caustic ooze of Randy Pitchford's involvement. That in and of itself is praiseworthy.

9. Gravity Rush 2/Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze

Okay so I maybe didn't actually play this one myself. I usually try to exclude stuff that I watched and enjoyed but in this case I was sitting on the couch with other people playing it so that's basically the same thing as playing it myself right? I think I held the controller for a little bit. Anyway this game is super weird and charming and a little nauseating in parts because you sort of go flying off into the stratosphere randomly? But the aesthetic and Mood the game goes for is very unique and fun, it even has its own cute little made up language I mistook for French at first until I heard some Japanese and Spanish sounding words in there as well. The main characters Kat and Raven are dating I think? They're happy and alive girlfriends. Raven is a little broody I guess but they're definitely not the Sad, Dead Lesbians I have grown to detest. Raven is not Velvet. Just reminding myself. Tropical Freeze is just really good and while it maybe came out like years ago I only got to play it very recently on my friend's Wii U. The music is super good fuck you Jeff Gerstmann I will fucking fight you and your shitty opinions about video games you god damned grumpy old man.

8. The Surge

My Thoughts on the Surge are well documented on this very website. It's flawed and frustrating in a lot of ways, nonsensical in others, and the story never quite commits to its original conceit which is a real shame. All that said, I respect the game for what it was unabashedly trying to do: be Dark Souls but with cyborg powerloaders and robots. Like, you gotta live your bliss, right? Lords of the Fallen was utterly miserable and the improvements that The Surge demonstrates gives me cause for optimism in future games from the developer. Anything that gives me cause for optimism in 2017 has to be worth something. That said, the inevitable The Surge 2 is probably going to be kind of by the numbers and unnecessary but that's just how you make games in the 21st century.

7. The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

To begin with, BotW would be much higher on this list if I had not only come into owning it and a Switch yesterday. It is by all counts extremely good, an open world game that's actually pleasant and charming and has meritorious mechanics outside of Todd Howard style "you can go fuck that mountain" nonsense. I mean don't get me wrong you can fuck plenty of mountains in this game. Link is fucking Spider-man in this game, the only surfaces he can't mysteriously latch on to are inside the puzzle shrines so you can't just cheese them. Weapon degradation is maybe a little excessive? I feel sort of like Bayonetta in the first cutscene where she keeps yelling "Guns!" when she runs out of ammo except I'm yelling "shitty wooden sticks!" when the one I'm using breaks into a million tiny pieces. I understand the reasoning behind it, I do. It establishes a certain rhythm to the game of exploring, fighting, stocking up on shitty wooden sticks, and repeating. When you find like, an actual sword or spear it feels like an occasion to celebrate, and the whole thing demands that you use a variety of different weapons and weapon-like objects. I'm not nearly far in enough to give an honest, comprehensive picture of the game. I just really like what I've played so far so I'm just compromising by putting BotW relatively low on the list.

6. Cuphead

It's Cuphead! Everybody knows Cuphead by now. It's gorgeous, the soundtrack is great if somewhat lacking in variety, King Dice is really cool but has extremely unfortunate racial undertones, the game is pretty hard (not that hard?) and Cala Maria is a babe. It's a singular game that is extremely worthwhile and hopefully paves the way for future games in a similar style of aping specific styles and eras of animation. I really want a game that goes hard on the 1950s Looney Tunes aesthetic where you just drop anvils on people forever. Cuphead isn't perfect, as a lot of the game's difficulty and length comes from bad checkpointing. It's a necessary evil, because if the game did not blatantly disrespect your time in a lot of the later fights, the game would be like, two hours long. I'm not a proponent of the "git gud" philosophy but I can't help but feel like I really want to say that to the various bad-at-games journos who got bent out of shape about Cuphead being hard. This is your damn job. You can suck it up for one game, especially when it's really very good and unique like Cuphead. Also my mom came in while I was playing it and thought I was watching a popeye cartoon so that was kind of cute I guess.

5. Civilization 6 (CHEATING AGAIN)

YEAH I KNOW THIS GAME CAME OUT LAST YEAR AND IM A HUGE IDIOT FUCKER but hear me out Civ6 is really fucking good because of the fact that Wonders take up physical space on the map and districting does the same thing. Like just this single mechanical change basically doubles the amount of thought and planning you need to put into playing the game even on low difficulties to optimize your output and production. Like it's a civilization game so there's not really anything too groundbreaking here but I fucking adore this game. Really looking forward to Rise and Fall, which will be early 2018. With the initial release being late 2016 I feel like this is like, an honorary 2017 game. Don't @ me.

4. Hollow Knight

Hollow Knight is another game I wrote about previously on the blog, but unlike The Surge I had basically nothing but good things to say about it. Hollow Knight has gorgeous hand drawn graphics and environments not entirely unlike Cuphead, but obviously goes for a much more reserved mood. Hollow Knight is a rock solid Metroidvania game with strong aesthetic and musical chops to back it up, as well as some Dark Souls-esque flourishes to give the game a bit of bite and a haunting narrative arc. A fantastic indie game and I can't wait to see what Team Cherry does next. I need to get around to doing the Halloween DLC, come to think of it. Did you know Zote actually has as many precepts as he says he does? I listened to them all. Some of them aren't too bad.

3. Nioh

Geralt the Witcher's moonlighting adventure as a samurai came out quite early in 2017, but remains one of the best games of the year due to its complex and rewarding combat system, beautiful Warring Kingdoms era Japanese architecture inspirations, fun mythological monster designs, and genuinely well done historical fiction backdrop. Coming into it, I fully expected "Dark Souls except the bosses are like Tengus and Nues and shit", but that description does the game a pretty big disservice. It's much more than that, both from a narrative standpoint, which is a fantastically tinged retelling of the Warring Kingdoms period, and from a gameplay one. The combat in Nioh is much more technical than in Dark Souls, with more pretensions of a combo based character action game than the deliberate, heavily customizable experience of the Souls games. Nioh is still quite hard and has the whole death-recovery mechanic, but it makes sense diegetically due to Guardian Spirit system and remains distinct. There are times when it tries to have the best of both worlds and just kind of ends up feeling like it doesn't do a good job at either, but for the most part, Nioh is tremendously fun, and at times infuriatingly difficult, especially in some of the post game optional battles that pit you against multiple bosses at once. Also, finding Kodamas is extremely rewarding because they are so damn cute. I love them. Find them at all costs.

2. Nier: Automata

Nier: Automata, Yoko Taro's latest brainchild, is, well, what it is. It's a hauntingly weird story about what it means to be human, and if that definition is really even adequate. It's a game with a lot to say, which is why I regard it so highly. The core gameplay is fun and serviceable, which is much more than I can say for its predecessor, the first Nier, which was memorable and affecting but played kind of like butts. 2B's android adventures are much more fluid and stylish, and you have a surprising amount of customization options available (though some arguably make the game a little too easy at points, like regenerating health) and there's enough variety in the little Machine Life form enemies (and the big ones, too) that fighting never felt like a chore to me. Of course, others have disagreed, but I think that the tedium really only sets in when you play as 9S, who has a much reduced arsenal of fighting moves in favor of his hacking skills. I liked the little shmup minigames that hacking entailed, so even 9S's story never felt too dull in the actual mechanical execution of it. People tend to have a misunderstanding of how the game works, that you need to complete it 4 times to get the whole experience, but that's not actually true. The 4 endings separate the game into acts more than anything. While 9S's story has a lot of overlap with 2B's story, endings C and D are just entirely new content where you play as A2, who has some tricks of her own distinct from 2B and 9S. It's not perfect, but it's not like you have to play the same game 4 times. It's a very story focused game, so much so that I would say experiencing the narrative is the main draw, but it has the decency to also be varied and fun to play. I love the parts where you get in the transforming flying robot and shoot the dudes. Especially the big dude. You know the one.

1. Final Fantasy XIV: Stormblood

The latest Final Fantasy XIV expansion, Stormblood, is super good. I wrote a bit about it earlier, and how it has improved upon Heavensward in almost all respects. Stormblood is a superlative MMO expac, with well designed and amazingly presented raids, dungeons, and trials. It's full of "holy shit that's dope" moments, like when you get into a blade struggle against the primal Susano's gigantic Ame-no-Murakumo in an active time event or storm the fortress city of Ala Mhigo. Ultimately, though, what really makes me evaluate Stormblood as my game of the year is how surprisingly thoughtful it is. FFXIV has, since the relaunch of 2.0, been a game that has not shied away from complexity in its narrative conflicts. The juxtaposition of the mythically strong Warrior of Light and the surprisingly mundane issues even she cannot seem to fix has always been the game's most interesting element to me, and as you spearhead revolutions against the Garlean Empire in two different countries, you learn a lot about how imperial colonialism has made things too complicated to be fixed simply driving out the oppressors. You do, eventually, of course, but the story is quick to remind you that this is only the beginning, and a lot of key issues remain unsolved, both in the newly liberated provinces and back at home. Also the Dark Knight questline from 60-70 is basically the best the game has to offer. It feels to me like that Dark Knight is the unofficial Job of Stormblood, despite the promo material and opening movie having you believe it to be about Monks. Monks, as usual, are boring. The themes explored in the Dark Knight questline, about regret, about shades of gray, about self-destruction, all align perfectly with some of the subtler narrative arcs of the main story. It's just really good and I love it. I still really want to write a piece about it on its own. I probably will soon. But for now, I name Stormblood my game of the year, for reminding us that we are still heroes. That we are still good people.

[floralharjuku]

I have a fic request! I noticed after Ending B 9S gets really protective of 2B and tries to stand in front of her a few times during the assault mission. When you go in his room during the credits, he talks in a gentle voice, while showering 2B with power up items, money, and tells her to be careful. So, I have this headcanon that they had sex after Ending B and that's why he was acting like that toward her. Would you be willing to write another lewd fanfic of these two again? Thank you!

({Analog})

…

(Once again, I’m doing the dirty and this time I’m like, fuck it, I’m sin mother and this ship is mine to steer. No real attention was put on the “how” in this one, however. Androids have genitals now; deal with it.)

-Tumblr formatting legend: * = italics -

…

Her gloved fingers brushed along the side of his face, judging the reality of his existence by this simple set of light movements of leather against artificial skin. Her knuckles curled as they ran over his cheek, a finger tracing his chin and, after a moment of slight hesitation, following the shape of his lips. His shaking breath parted the plump skin, his cheeks lightly dusted with blush pink.

She realized that this moment was something he didn’t expect and wasn’t something she had planned. It was born of a spontaneous desire to assure that it really was him and not another formatted version she needed to learn to love again.

“2…B?” He finally ventured when her fingers finally came to rest against the shell of his neck. She looked down but only saw the blackness of his visor, not the deep, dark blue eyes his model type was equipped with. His voice caught, embarrassed.

“Yes?” She prodded. 9S adverted his gaze even though he couldn’t see her eyes behind her visor. She raised an eyebrow, inviting him to voice his thoughts.

“…I…um,” he took her hand in his own. He gripped her smaller, delicate yet deadly fist in his own as if debating allowing her to fight this internal war with him.

N-not now.*

“Thanks.” He gave her a soft smile, a smile she could could see past with no assistance.

She wasn’t going to push him, not now anyways. This wasn’t the time, time that was running short. At any moment, Command would give an order that would possibly divide them and she would never get this opportunity again.

So she ignored it and gently separated their hands, moving hers to press against his chest before leaning forward and bringing their lips together. The cool and firm skin yielded against hers, warm breath mixing as they each tested the boundaries of what they could do behind the closed door of the room the Resistance had given them. She felt the steady hum of his systems underneath her palms, growing in confidence with each beat before tugging that the buttons of his coat. 9S froze and swallowed, unsure of how he should react or use his hands as they rested uselessly at his sides.

He didn’t have to wait for long before his chest was exposed to her hands, which tugged urgently at his skintight undershirt. Her tongue pushed against his lips, looking for any sign of entry into his mouth as one hand slid up his back and entwined itself in his hair, nails pressing on his scalp.

She felt her pulse rate spike as they gave into the simpleminded desire coursing through their systems, blood pounding in her ears. A combat model, she shouldn’t feel this nervousness. Yes, she was bold and confident but that was in a situation where breaking the other person was perfectly acceptable and the desired goal. 9S wasn’t a person she wanted to hurt, even accidentally.

Gently, she pushed against him, causing him to rest on the bed, her palms on either side of his head. Their lips had came unglued during the transit; 2B panted, a small trail of saliva of unsure origin slicking the skin as she stared down at him. His cheeks and ears had become a shade of red that could only be described as “adorable”, his mouth just as lewdly askew as hers.

She stared down at him, attempting to gage his reaction to what had transpired before. Everything about him urged her on, begging her to keep going, including the obvious stiffness in his pants that was growing harder as movement aroused them both.

Still…she reached behind his head and undid the knot of his visor, pulling the obscuring black fabric from his eyes while doing the same to herself. His eyes, despite being artificial optics with wires and no soul behind them, were the most expressive part of him. One look into them told her everything and sealed the consent she needed.

Granted, she doubted that what she saw behind the thick veil of lust and desire was that look in his eyes she knew and feared. It was that look that was always followed by a swift betrayal in the form of a sword through his chest. He knew something and he wanted to tell her, but he was still searching for the right time and that wasn’t now, thank the God she still believed had abandoned her.

His coat and undershirt were urgently pulled off to silence her own thoughts on that terrifying subject. He couldn’t speak those words if his mouth was occupied with hers, his hands flush against her backside.

She could feel her own body heat rising, the fabric of her undergarments and clothes becoming too tight and heavy for her to bear. It felt similar to a buildup of reactor heat before the inevitable self destruction, her neither regions throbbing with sweltering, wet need.

“9S.” She separated their lips to gaze into his eyes again. He took the hint surprisingly well, but she didn’t doubt the label of “high end” attached to his model type. His logic systems worked far and above hers, able to solve these kind complexities when his own sheepishness finally died. He undid the near invisible buttons right at the side of her chest, the black fabric of her shirt coming loose before falling from her shoulders and arms and onto the ground. His thumbs trailed over her bare skin, tugging at the edges of her leotard to get to more of that smooth flesh he just wanted to feel*.

He visibly twitched when he felt her palm slide along his crotch, fingers grazing his member. One dragged against the damp tip, playing with him mercilessly as he panted uselessly against her mouth. “Ah…a…2B.” She cupped her hand around his length, the leather of her glove smooth and molding to his skin.

They moved against each other, losing clothing and inhibition. Underneath all the layers was bare skin, soft, peachy and a layer of untouched sensitivity. Other loosely regulated YoRHa members spoke in not-so-hushed tones about doing this very selfsame thing all the time around the Bunker, but 9S himself had never been privy to the practice. The way 2B moved for them though, her hands firmly planted on either side of his head and hips hovering above his crotch, broadcasted experience he couldn’t match. A tiny, jealous part of him wondered who else had the undeniable honor of witnessing her lewd and bare, the part also wondering what happened to them. He hadn’t even been inside her and he knew she felt as breathtaking as she looked when her eyes were low and her cheeks red with the effort of restrained sounds.

Keeping the theme of control firmly in her hands, she lowered herself onto him, hissing as she twisted the sheet in her fingers. His systems flushed with heat, his back arching at the sudden but welcome feeling that rushed through his nervous systems.

Who could possibly give this feeling up? After a moment, her hips began to rock against his before they became full thrusts, rapid exhales leaving their mouths in synchronized shallow breaths of air. What kind of idiot would let her go?

She had done this before. With him. Of course, he doesn’t remember, but she knows where he’s weak, the spots he didn’t like to be touched and the way he moved.

He hadn’t changed. They hadn’t wiped him away…and for that, she’s glad. It’s a small consolation prize for the suffering she will soon bring down onto him, pleasure before pain.

She wondered if it was worth it.

Inside, she was capable of burning him alive, smothering him in the greatest way possible with crushing, dominating force. Her slick muscles held him firm, wet, hot and…shit, he’s burning and his blood is boiling in his veins.*

He pushed against the bed, going against her weight to sit up with her in his lap, her head on his shoulder. She followed his lead, wrapping her legs around his back, tightly holding him flush to her. Fuck, it felt too good.* Her head throbbed, processors firing in overdrive as it all began to dull into one feeling of never wanting to stop*. If she didn’t stop…if they never stopped…

“Ngh…ah…ah.” His tongue fought a losing but heated battle with hers, warm saliva trailing down her lips. 9S moaned as she curved her back to allow for deeper penetration and closer contact between them. N-no way he was going to live through this. The way she rode him so desperately, so hungry for him and…well shit she was heavier than him and she wasn’t being gentle. If he broke his new body though, it was a hell of a way to go.

*Man, 21O is gonna be pissed…“how did you break your body again?” “I got fucked by a combat android and I learned that being on the bottom is dangerous to my health yet really awesome.”*

No way in hell he was going to tell anyone about this.

“Don't…don't…” She licked her lips and gasped for words. “Stop…thinking.”

*Just do me one favor please*, she wanted to beg. *Don’t do this to me again.*

Her nails dug into his skin, trails of red left in her wake. The pain was nothing compared to the all consuming pleasure, a mere inconvenience in the face of something he needed if he was going to be strong and…was he really going to tell her? He trusted her with his life, but his own mind was in shambles with what he had learned from digging where he had no right. Was he really going to doom her to the same fate? Was that fair?

“Stop thinking,” that’s what she had demanded.

Losing himself in her, in the feelings she drew out of him, was far better than the truth.

…

They had been called back to the Bunker and separated by circumstance, preparing the mission that would hopefully end the war. Adam and Eve had been destroyed, leaving the machine network venerable.

This was their chance, and yet *their chance had past. She came to his room one last time, the air heavy with knowledge and tension. His skin still smelled of her, his chest marked by thin cuts. It was fresh, the feeling still raw in his mind.

What could he say…? He was pathetic when it came to her. All he could do was give her a gift and words heavy with barely repressed affection and love.

Maybe…maybe when this fight was over, they could run from YoRHa no matter the outcome. They could escape together, become rouges and relocate where Command could never find them. He could research machines and she could fish and…and…

Was it…selfish? Was this what she wanted? Did she still want war or did she want the same peace he did? Was he only doing this for himself?

He had no time to answer. The mission came first.

Her hand lingered on his shoulder, as if she wanted to say something else, do something else, but nothing came to her.

“…Be careful, 9S.”

There it was, the frigid love he so hated. He wanted more warmth, more heat, more of the genuine person she was, not the soldier façade she put up.

“You too…2B.”

He would tell her. No matter the outcome, she deserved the truth.

[something-very-special]

Hi! I saw your comment about 9S being the other side of Emil's character and was wondering in which way you mean this exactly? I was also struck by their similarities and this rings very true, but I can't quite put my finger on why somehow. Also I think pretty much every ending is on the internet by now, so as long as you tag posts with spoilers, it should probably be safe to talk about it? And your analysis of Nier was amazing, I'm sure I'm not the only one who'd love to read your meta :)

Thank you!

Although my crazy-tags weren’t referencing the other half of Emil’s character. The thing that really struck me about the original NIER, and now Automata, is that Yoko Taro actually has an approach to writing and development that feels extremely similar to my own. It’s really kind of eerie playing these games– no small part of my own intrigue is at how closely the upcoming events will cleave to how I would have approached them.

Spoilers below, so tread lightly.

There are a number of things that occur in Automata, for instance, that I have straight-up written before. I don’t mean ‘this is thematically familiar to me’, I mean ‘this literal event sequence is something my character has experienced, if it goes in this direction I’m going to freak oooOH MY GOD YES’.

What I was referring to about Emil and 9S are not directly related to their characters. They’re directly related to one of mine. I’ve had a character I use in for RP purposes for… oh, wow, sixteen years now. She’s very near and dear to me, and I put her through a lot of shit because I like her and that’s what I do to characters I like, make them suffer.

This suffering has come in forms extremely similar to the character of Emil and the character of 9S, and again I don’t mean thematically, although the themes are important. One of the things I happen to explore with the character is inhuman transformation, self-worth, and identity, and while she did not turn into a skeleton and explode there are definitely traits of exile and isolation and societal fear in response to preconceived assumptions (which the character attempts to ignore or live with before some inciting event – say, losing control of your powers and doing something terrible? – reminds them painfully of what they are, and forces them to confront it, and the it starts to break them).

Emil in particular was a character whose mentality I immediately kenned when I saw him and his story arcs, which honestly drove me crazy some years ago when I would see people just not getting him. Don’t like him, I understand, but there was this weird inability to recognize what he was going through, understand certain hints, understand his personality– why doesn’t he say more? is something I saw a lot of, and it’s pretty hard to stop from just caps-posting the thirtieth comment that he’s an introvert and he’s internalizing everything because he doesn’t want to worry his friends and it kills him inside and you can see his breaks here and here before he finally admits everything and I don’t see why this is so hard to understand.

But I’ve been writing that character for years. I completely get him.

9S has been getting a similar kind of ‘I don’t get this, he’s a whiny brat’ treatment, which I also kind of understand if you’re going entirely off of his dialogue during Route A/B, when he’s actually acting as a cipher for what the player was thinking up until the tail end of the sidequest (Father Servo in particular hit me; people get all offended that 9S was thankful he didn’t need to bother grabbing random items anymore, except I’ve seen enough posts about ‘uuuugh I’m so sick of gathering materials for this jerk!’ that you know damn well you are 9S, player, and you don’t like being confronted with your own hostile indifference when you finally learn why Father Servo was making you run all of his errands).

Other than that – which are absolutely being done as an in-character acknowledgment of what the player is doubtless thinking – he’s not at all a whiny brat. He’s a broken soul devolving into madness as he learns that not only is there nothing worth fighting for, the one thing that was worth fighting for is also the thing he hates the most, and her death denies him both catharsis and vengeance and leaves him with conflicting emotions – stirred from his current surface-level love for her, but also by a hatred that lay forgotten but simmering beneath that. This conflict being stirred is in no small part what leads to his destabilization and ultimate psychotic break. He wants a family. He wants to kill that family. He wants to love and be loved. He wants revenge. He wants to ignore his memories. He wants to keep his memories. He wants to remember her. He wants to erase her. He wants her close. He wants her dead. Over and over in an endless feedback loop that stands at odds with his conscious assumptions leading him to a painful and unsustainable dichotomy; he wants to love her, and he wants to kill her.

(He does not, contrary to popular belief, want to fuck her.)(talk about audience projection)

I could go on for quite a while about 9S, but the point in reference to the above is that I knew all of this was coming. It all clicked the instant I got into the Soul Box. Because this has also happened to my character. Because she also had a memory lock that was preventing her from being able to consolidate a devastating past action and her present assumptions about a situation and the two existing in conflict cause her a lot of undo, internalized anger and (in one AU mess) caused her to experience a complete psychotic break and also go into a spiraling nihilistic rampage from which there is no return.

There was also that one time she lost her left arm and grafted a mismate in its place, so here I am playing the end dungeon and then 9S is sitting there caressing the 2B clone and I’m like ‘and then he rips off her arm and shoves it in the socket and waited for it, wait for it, wait for yyyyyep there it goes it’s the same goddamn arm, what the hell, this is awesome!, but seriously what the hell‘.

So it all comes down this really bizarre recognition– I know where the game’s going, and I know what these characters are doing, not just because of narrative supposition and extrapolation but because these are actually themes and whole events I have a lot of personal experience with. It’s even less like ‘this was written for me‘ than ‘this was written by me‘. I’m still waiting for some kind of royalty check.

[sandwichbully]

Gardens of Salonica, 14 August 2018

   Northeast Minneapolis, specifically the part just over the bridge, Saint Anthony (divided needlessly into Saint Anthonies East, West, and Main), is the place you go when you want all the hustle and bustle of downtown Minneapolis with the aesthetic of Sandusky, OH. And there’s also an Aveda there, in case you’re in the mood to go bird-doggin’ for chicks. That is where I went for lunch today because I am burnt out on the options in downtown proper.    Anyway, after some Googlin’ - yes, I Google for my lunch - I land on this joint called Gardens of Salonica and I figure, “Well, it’s not downtown.” That and that they have gyros was pretty much the only criteria I applied to my decision.    I get there and it’s a Tuesday lunch scenario. A retired couple at one table, a retired mom and her about-my-age daughter at another, and a kid running maître d’ and serving duties. He seats me, hands me a menu - the appetizer list alone told me I was in the wwwrrrooonnnggg motherfucking place - and a drink list and leaves to bring me back a glass of water from which I took only two sips because it tasted soapy. No big deal. Don’t bitch about it, just don’t drink it.    I ordered a Northstar pop, he thought they were out. I ordered a Whistler, he asked if I wanted Cola or Blood Orange Ginger. I thought that over and went with the funky one. He came back with the Northstar. It was Orange Cola. Best of both worlds.    I play sudoku on my phone while I wait for my food and the lady with her adult daughter starts asking the kid if he turned on the AC. He asks, “Sorry, what’s that?” And she starts hassling him over how it feels like it just got cold in there. I’m trying to find a place to put this 9 - I remember that I was working on the 9s - and I look up wondering, “Th’fuck? He’s bringing you your food and now you want him to turn the thermostat up?” I wish I had a barbed comment on menopause at the time but I didn’t. But really, don’t ever do that. Don’t hassle a kid to adjust the temperature for just you. There are other people in this motherfucker and it’s ninety goddamned degrees out. I appreciate a cool seventy. Your daughter appreciates a cool seventy. Your husband, who probably died just to get away from you because this is how you treat waitstaff, appreciated a cool seventy. Don’t open your mouth unless you’re shoveling souvlaki into it.    Anyway, out comes my gyro (with Greek fries) and I thank my server and I look at my little gyro and I think, “This is what I paid nine dollars for?” And then that voice in my head popped back in and reminded me, “Dude, this is what a healthy serving portion is,” and I hated everything about my life and I wanted to cry and quit my job and go home and lock the door and never go outside again and just wait for Andy next door to call the landlord when my apartment starts to smell funny.    I mean look at that thing. That’s a nine dollar gyro. Does that look like a nine dollar gyro? The gut busters from Trieste are twice the size and a dollar less. Here, here’s another pic from a different angle.

   That’s a nine dollar gyro, eleven twenty five with fires. Those fries. Those fries were an additional two twenty goddamned five. Fuck me. OK. Well, healthy portions. This is what my fucking life is anymore.    So I pick it up and - JESUS JENNY JONES WHY THE FUCK IS IT SO HOT!?!? WHY!? Did they just pull this motherfucker out of a volcano!? Why is it so hot!? Why!? I’m burning my fingers on my lunch! I don’t have fingerprints anymore, I’m John Doe from Se7en now! Fuck me. And it wasn’t like it was hot for a moment and cooled down, no! It stayed hot! And the fucked up part? It wasn’t hot in my mouth! What the fuck!? Did they just heat up the foil on the stove!? Why was it so hot!?    God... DAMNIT!    So how did it taste?     ¯\_(ツ)_/¯    I gotta say, if you’ve ever had a gyro, you’ve had this gyro, aside from the burning your fucking fingers off part. The literature for the place reads like they make their tzatziki in-house but it doesn’t stand out. They sure slather plenty on but it’s not a stand out. The meat was meat. I guess there was that. It was on the sandwich. The tomatoes stood out flavor wise and visibly you could tell they had been sliced within the last hour. That’s about it.    You want to know about the fries? They were seasoned. Salt and pepper. Whoopity doo.    The best part about this lunch was my cane sugar orange cola.    Look, I wanted to like this place. I went in with high hopes. Maybe their octopus dinners are fantastic, who knows? I won’t know. Not with their prices. Or, you know, maybe I will. After all, I’m the dumb motherfucker who paid eleven twenty five for a half a gyro and a dozen fried tater slices. For eleven twenty five, you’d think my gyro, even if it is the equivalent of a goddamned Bagel Bite, would taste like something. For eleven twenty five, I could have had two Arby’s lunches without using coupons. Now I have to brown bag it the rest of the week, which I really should be doing anyhow but it’s only - pff - four bucks for the steamed veggies next door at the food court.    So, sorry, I can’t recommend this place. At least not for lunch. You want a gyro? Go to Trieste, still my number one, my only, my special baby-love-child.    That sounded gross.    Unless this was the seventies when everybody said shit like that.    I don’t know. How do I normally end this thing when I slag off a place?    Can I just leave?    Oh, I can just stop writing? OK.