#he says yeah they are and im like great! I love citrus scents so not only will this solve the cricket problem but also my clothes will smell

[beanmaster-pika]

My mom nixed the lemons so now I’m gonna smell like cinnamon for the rest of my life (<- exaggeration)

[goldensstateofgrace]

A night in.

Summary: you braid Harry’s hair and give him a shave.

Warnings: none, fluff

Word count: 1.4k

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You and Harry decided to have a night in to relax and adjust to him being home from tour. This tour was the first for both of you as a married couple. You both had only been married for a short few months before tour kicked off and you barely saw each other. It was time to relax and enjoy eachothers company.

You had visited him on tour, staying with him in the many hotels, flying in early mornings and out late at night. You both didn't have any time to talk, well, you did about how the tour was going, but not the important stuff. 

You didn’t talk about how you were handling it, which wasn’t great. You missed him deeply, and basked in the moments you had together before he was whisked away to perform to thousands of people. 

Now that he’s home you can, you drew a warm bath. Placing a relaxing citrus scented bubble bath mixture into the bath to bubble over as you got undressed and waited for Harry to come up stairs. 

Sinking into the warm bath, you lean against the back of the huge porcelain tub, relaxing your body in the warmth of the water, the citrus aroma smells amazing wafting through the entirety of the bathroom. 

You didn’t realize you started to fall asleep until you felt a light stroke of a hand on your inner thigh. Opening your eyes, you find Harry sitting next to the tub shirtless only in a pair of sweatpants with his hair messy. His hand under the water gripping your thigh in his palm as his thumb strokes soothing circles. 

“I really missed you, bub” you mutter, eyes half lidded as you watch him. 

His eyes hold a soft look, but also tiredness. You know how tired he is, playing two hour shows almost every night for months at a time. 

“I missed you so much more, sweet girl,” he whispers, his eyes scanning over your face, like he’s trying to commit the image to memory forever. 

“Come ‘re, bubs” you say, sitting up in the bath. Your hand cups his jaw as your lips descend softly onto his in a soft full of love kiss. 

Harry gets in the bath behind you, wrapping his arms around your middle. Your head rests on his shoulder, his hands rubbing absentmindedly over your abdomen, his voice light as he sings softly to you. 

“Sweet creature, sweet creature

Wherever i go, you bring me home

Sweet creature, sweet creature

When i run out of road, you bring me home” 

He sings softly to you, his chin buried in the crook of your neck. His arms holding you tight to his chest. 

Your heart feels like it’s going to beat out of your chest, you’ve never felt so loved. It’s rare for you to get emotional like this, tears are filling your eyes as you listen to him sing to you. You feel so loved, and you know no doubt in your mind that this man is your soulmate. 

You could never imagine being with anyone else, no one could ever compare to him. 

“I love you, bub. So much,” you whisper, not trusting your voice to speak louder because it would crack from the emotions you’re feeling. Tears running down your cheeks, not sad tears, happy ones. 

You’ve never been happier. 

---------

You and Harry stayed in the bath for a while, just sitting in eachothers arms. You hadn’t even realized the water turned cold until you shivered and Harry was quick to jump out, wrapping a towel around his waist before grabbing one for you. He drained the cold water, wrapping you in the towel and picking you up. 

He set you on the counter, grabbing both of your toothbrushes, covering the bristles in toothpaste before handing it to you. 

You sit there, brushing your teeth as he does, his hand placed down next to your thigh as he holds himself up with it. He grins at you, mouth full of toothpaste. 

“You know what you should let me do?” you say, before spitting into the sink. 

He raises a questioning eyebrow, spitting into the sink and wiping his mouth, “What should i let you do, baby.” An amused look on his face. 

You grin, “you should let me braid your hair and give you a facial!”

His amusement fades, “No,” he shakes his head.

“Why?” you whine, a frown taking over your mouth. 

“Do you remember what happened last time?” he teases. 

Yeah, so it wasn’t the best experience. You may or may not have cut im with the razor, But it was his fault! He was the one that decided he wanted to finger you while you held a sharp razor close to his face. 

“That’s because you couldn’t wait five minutes for me to shave your face, No! You just had to stick your fingers in my cunt and tease me!” you exclaim, showing false seriousness. 

“Yeah bu you liked it,” he says, he voice deepening. His hand that was resting on his side slides from your knee nand up your thigh, his fingers dancing over the inner part of your thigh. 

You falter for a second, “No!, not this time” you say, your hand stopping his hand from moving any further. 

“Baby, please. I promise i won’t cut you this time!” you beg him, your hand hand cupping his jaw. Your thumb runs over the stubble covering his chin. 

You don’t mind it, definitely not when it’s between your thi- no, your not gonna give in. 

“Ok” he gives in. 

You make him wet his face before you take his shaving cream and cover his jawline in it. 

You gently start to shave his face, one hand holding the back ofhis head making sure to keep him still, while the other moves the razor across his jaw. 

His hands hold your hips as you work on shaving his face, his thumbs rubbing into your hips. You shoot hip a look to ‘stop right now, don’t start’. He just smiles down at you. 

“Stop smiling, your dimples are in the way” you scold him. 

He only smiles wider at that, leaning in before you know it and kissing you. Shaving cream going all over your face. 

“Harry!,” you laugh through the kiss. 

He wraps his arms aroun you tighter, smearing the shaving cream further across your face. You don’t realize your towel falling off your top half until they brush along harry’s hard muscular chest. 

He pulls back, looking in between the both of you. You notice his eyes grow darker. Attempting to pull the towel back up he stops you with his deep voice, “stop, i’m letting you shave my face. You can let me stare at your beautiful, fuck, breasts” he groans, his thumbs coming up to rub on your hardening nipples. 

“No touching, do you want to get cut again?!” you say. 

He chuckles, his hands settling back on your waist. 

You continue shaving the little bit thats left, taking a wash cloth and wiping away the shaving cream once your done. You make him wash his face, before you rub mosiurizer into his skin. 

“baby! You look like a baby now” you tease, placing kisses all over his face. His laugh reverbeats off the bathroom walls. 

“I love you, my girl” he whispers, capturing your lips in his. His tongues taking over your mouth, exploring the deep depths of it. 

“Lets go watch a movie” you mutter against his lips, moving of the counter and dropping your towel. 

You put on one of his t-shirts and some undies before getting into bed. He puts on some boxers, leaving his legs and torso free of any garment. 

Your back is resting against the head board, your legs stretched in front of you. He climbs in between your legs, his back to your chest as his head rests on your boobs. 

Your hands run through his long curly hair, massgaging his scalp as he puts on ‘The notebook’. 

You play with his hair through the whole movie, braiding different pieces then taking them out and doing one big braid. Then taking that out and just rubbing his head. 

“Feels s’good” he mutters, eyes focused on the tv. 

“Yeah?” you whisper, your nails scratching softly along his saclp. 

“Yeah,” he sighs, sinking further into your body. 

You stay like that for a while, the movie credits roll. You notice he fell asleep, you softly move to where he’s beside you letting his head fall back on your chest. 

He cuddles into you on his side. His arm lays across your abdomen, holding close to him. 

You couldn’t be happier right now, the love of your life, your soulmate laying on your chest as soft snores fall from his mouth. 

You’re the happiest you’ve ever been, and it’s all thanks to Harry.

[hansolmates]

jjk; angel’s trumpet [bonus]

summary; one second, your life is flashing before your eyes and the next, you’re transported into a world exactly like your own. but the jungkook you meet in this world isn’t a renowned singer or your former almost-lover, in fact he has no clue who you are and why you know him so well. as you work to find your way home lost and confused, you conclude that you’re either dead or in the middle of the most wicked drug trip of your life. pairing; idol!jk x reader (f), alternatively film producer!jk x reader genre/warnings; fluff, angst, supernatural, idol!au, non-idol!au, alternate universes, themes of fate, language, alcohol consumption, in this chapter–nudity boobies! w.c; 2.2k a/n; why did a week go by so stinkin’ fast? i’m not ready to let go of this couple! that being said, i wouldnt mind posting some drabble babbles about these two or four. im utterly thankful for the love and passion my readers had for this, i had so many kind readers that kept me afloat through all of. i can’t wait to see you in the next one, and i hope you enjoy this little glimpse💕

[final] [bonus] -> masterpost

“You’re not Jimin.” 

Jungkook’s eyes snap open, and he takes note of the change in air. Chalk it up to the open window or the fact that the rain’s evaporated, but he can’t help the pinch of pain in his heart as he realizes that you’re far, far gone from this world. 

And in your place, is you. Not quite you, but it’s almost scary how easy it is to regard your visage and simple conversation. 

“Jimin,” he repeats, as if he heard you wrong. “As in, Park Jimin? Tiny guy with a big ego?” 

“Yes,” you reply blandly, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. Your eyes are sparkless, flickering between your state of nakedness and his state of nakedness. “I know I wasn’t exactly sober last night, but I distinctly remember telling him he’d be in my bed tonight,” and you regard Jungkook with a sort of pointed look, unable to decipher your situation, “but here you are. Still cupping by boob.” 

Out of reflex, he squeezes his palm. Yep, that’s yours. 

A little part of him also wants to yell to the heavens because you failed to tell him you were hooking up with Park Jimin before all of this. 

Okay technically you didn’t, but the person in front of him did. 

His heart is fresh and stinging like a hot cut on the asphalt. He watches you take in your surroundings, humming when you notice the new clothes on the rack and the way your desk has been rearranged. Jungkook is trying very hard to be patient, after all you’re a stranger and suddenly he feels like he’s the one that’s known you all his life. Oh, how the tables have turned. 

You stretch, testing out your limbs as they pop and crackle at your command. You run a hand through your strawberry-smelling hair, and Jungkook has to grip the sheets to not go by instinct and take you right then and there on this mattress. With a shameless groan of satisfaction, you flop against your bed. Jungkook tries, emphasis on try, to not watch as your breasts bounce and the way your hair flows around your pillow like the angel you are, but he’s rendered smitten. 

“Uh,” boobies boobies boobies. 

You pointedly ignore his piss-poor attempt at coherent conversation, staring up at the ceiling.  “Ho—ly shit,” you curse freely, heaving an exhausted sigh, “I feel so sore.” 

“S-sore?” Great, he found his voice. 

“Yeah, like I’ve been in a coma or something,” but you think nothing of it, summing it up as a crazy dream from alcohol poisoning. You sit up straight, reaching for your phone. It’s not on your desk, but instead you find something far more interesting. 

You reach for your Midnight Blue Citrus candle, frowning at the contents. The wax is nearly burnt to the end, the tips of the wicks charcoal black and frayed. Waving your used candle in Jungkook’s face you blame, “What the fuck, did you use all of this last night? I just bought this like, literally yesterday!” 

His face falls, “What? You’ve had that candle for forever—”

“And why the heck it is so hot in the middle of February?” 

Oh. 

Something dark and sad creeps up Jungkook’s stomach, and he hates to be the one to tell you. February was when it all started, and his life changed with the presence of you. Jungkook tells himself repeatedly that the woman in this room is simultaneously the person he’s loved since winter and the stranger he feels that he’s meant to love with time. Considering everything’s happening all at once understanding it is still hard, but he’ll try for you. 

It breaks his heart to see how you look lost and confused, like a child woken up from a debilitating nightmare. Your lips are bitten red and purple, trying your hardest not to show fear in front of him, a stranger. You’re frustrated as you try your hardest to shut the windows to block the incoming humidity from last night’s rain. 

He says your name, sweet and soft. “It’s almost summer,” he says, his voice calm and collected. 

“So are you telling me, that wasn’t a dream?” 

The two of you stare at each other, unmoving. He tries not to squirm under your gaze, you watch him intently, scraping at the edge of your brain for any ideas. You’re hugging yourself, arms wrapping against your breasts as if you’re trying to hold your body together in a way that alludes to any brokenness you felt over these past two months. 

Neither of you break the silence, and there’s a bang and a crash. Jungkook flinches at the tell-tale signs of the unwanted intruder, the fling of keys across your wooden table and a shrill call of your name. 

“Who’s that?” 

“Probably Hoseok,” Jungkook answers reluctantly, his thumb rubbing between his brows. 

He ignores the extra cool air against his naked bits when he throws the blankets off his lap. Ignores the way you pointedly, shamelessly check him out as he throws on his sweats and a t-shirt. To his dismay he can’t ignore the burn in his cheeks when he knows how you’re scrutinizing him like a one-night stand, trying to recollect any type of concrete thought that would seem plausible enough to explain why you woke up in bed with him. 

Throwing open your bedroom door and leaving you there, he cards a hand through his rogue bedhead to face a frantic Hoseok. 

“It’s so early,” Hoseok warbles to himself, impressed that he’s managed to cop fresh donuts and coffee at nearly 7AM. 

Jungkook sees nothing but an orange blob and Hoseok’s head, bleary and vibrating. Rubbing his eyes he says, “You just realized how early it is? Couldn’t you have stopped by a little later?” 

“No, I couldn’t!” Hoseok’s now invading Jungkook’s personal space, as if you weren’t the bridge between their threads of a relationship, as if he and Hoseok could be friends. “I woke up a few hours ago and I couldn’t go back to sleep. I felt it, Jungkook. It was like an episode of the Twilight Zone. The air shifted and I felt like I was between two parallel universes—I swear on my bad knee that I’m not going through a drug trip—and I felt the world turning and changing and it was so fuckin’ weird I had to come here as soon as Dunkin’ opened. Didn’t you feel it too?” 

“Yeah,” Jungkook exhales, not bothering to hide the disappointment. He smiles sadly, “it’s definitely not her.” 

Hoseok’s expression and excitement over the world’s converging falters, and he pulls Jungkook into a hug. They’re not particularly close and Hoseok’s smaller in size compared to Jungkook, but for those five seconds he feels comforted as he hugs him back. 

“Why don’t you go home and chill out, I don’t mind explaining things to her,” Hoseok offers, “and I’ll call you later and let you know how it went.” 

“Okay,” Jungkook replies, voice slow, “that sounds like a good idea, actually.” 

The situation is royally messed up, and he hates that he can’t blame it on anyone. Jungkook is a practical man, and he knows that he has no use when Hoseok is here with donuts and coffee. More importantly, there is no use torturing himself by letting his heart break in the presence of  you. 

“What is this, a party?” Taehyung’s bare feet smack against the hardwood, and he plops himself in the chair next to Hoseok, “did you get me coffee this time?” 

The two of them bicker good-naturedly, with Hoseok explaining a little kindness goes a long way and Taehyung muttering that kindness doesn’t happen without caffeine. Jungkook excuses himself, feeling very much out of place as he moves to your bedroom to pack his things. 

“You’re leaving?” you’re standing in the middle of your bedroom, now dressed in a long t-shirt and your hair tied clean and away from your face. You look pretty. 

“Yeah,” he says shortly, stuffing his jeans in his bag and making sure all traces of him are gone from your bedroom. “Need to sort things out,” he excuses, and while you may not buy it, he really does. He feels heartbroken, angry at the world. Maybe he could visit Yoongi today and get a demo in, put all this pent-up emotion to good use. “But Hoseok brought you breakfast, he’s a good friend, he’ll explain everything.” 

“But I don’t know Hoseok,” you mumble, picking at the hem of your band shirt. You’re pouting, stubborn. 

“But you don’t know me either,” Jungkook retorts, not unkindly, but not exactly gentle. “I wouldn’t want to overwhelm you.” 

There’s a hard rip at his zipper, putting in a little too much force as he seals away all his things into a compact backpack. Heck, he even went as far as to take back the hoodie he lent you last month, making sure the fabric is crisp and folded so he can stow it away from your curious eyes. He shoves on his denim jacket from last night, still lingering with the scents of sand and saltwater. It makes him sombre, and the selfish part of him wishes to bottle up that scent and tuck it away forever. 

“You’re wrong,” you blurt when he moves toward the door. His hand lingers over the knob, “I do know you.” 

He narrows his dark eyes, taking in your honest expression, “At Jimin’s job, maybe? I did a couple interviews in the beginning of February. Maybe we passed each other while you had lunch with him.” 

“No. You sang to me, talked to me, as much as you could up until this moment.” 

He remembers the stories you fed to him last night under the stars, shameless and full of love as you explained to him of his other self. The life where he’s a renowned singer, a Golden Boy, one of the most revered in his industry. A life he could only dream of, yet somewhere out there he’s living it in another body making that dream come true. 

Thoughts are running through his head, memories that aren’t his own. He could only imagine what you must’ve gone through, recovering in a hospital bed for two months, unable to move but actively aware of the pain and anguish. How confused you must’ve been, aching to figure out what the hell is going on, acutely aware of the voices constantly chattering about your well-being. 

One of those voices being Jeon Jungkook, who was probably taking care of you night and day. 

His head is starting to throb, and he feels like he’s five seconds away from spiraling. 

“I’d… I’d feel more comfortable around you, Jungkook,” you confess, reaching for his hand, “but if you need to, you can go,” you bite your lip, folding in on yourself once more, “if it hurts too much to be around me right now.” 

He gladly takes your hand, rubbing his thumb between your palm. The familiar sparks he feels when he holds it return, but tamps it down for the sake of your vulnerability. It’s not your fault you’re in this situation. “No… I’m just gonna go home for a bit, clear my schedule,” he gives you a little smile, and he inflates a bit when you give him one of your own. “I’ll come back for you after breakfast.”

“You promise?” 

“Promise.” 

You pull him into an unexpected hug, suddenly fearing he may never come back. 

“I always wondered what the man looked like behind the voice,” and you’re suddenly melting, feeling a sense of familiarity as you let your heart run faster than your brain when you let him hold you in his arms. He smells just like him, too. 

His embrace is tight, and his arms fit in all the little curves and spots that make you feel warm and safe. “And am I living up to your expectations?” it’s a half-joke, after all the both of you are  going simply by feeling and there’s no way in hell would he even attempt to compare himself to well, himself. 

You pull away to look at him, really look at him. Honest, clear eyes. Jungkook thinks he sees the world in your gaze. “Only if you eat a donut before you go,” you reply with a shy smile. 

At your defiant mention of food he can’t help but grin like a maniac, letting you tug him back out to sit at the counter with him and have breakfast. Like he said before, he can’t wait to fall in love all over again. 

[babbushka]

wahoo sleepover time!!!!! today's my birthday and the guy i thought i was sort of in a long distance relationship just... didnt say anything to me all day despite being online & liking my posts & knowing its my birthday so!!!! i'm pretending clyde logan is here celebrating with me since he is now the only man i trust lmaooo 😭 but anyways enough about me, how about 24, 32, 44, & 95 from the weird asks list? 💘💘

Oh happy belated birthday my friend! Want me to kill him for you? (just kidding not really)  I’m sorry boys are schmucks, but tbh Clyde would never let you down this way! I hope that despite his poor actions, you still managed to have a wonderful day :) 

24. favorite crystal?

Oof can I be honest? I’m not really one of those people who like, is Into Crystals. I don’t have a great knowledge about them or anything, I’m not even that familiar to have names off the top of my head other than like, quartz? lol, so i’ll say quartz. 

32. top five favorite vines?

In no particular order: yeah.. i sure hope it does, adam!!!, is that a weed?, im a bad bitch you cant kill me, merry chrysler 

44. favorite scent for soap?

Citrus! I don’t really have a very good sense of smell, but one of the things I know I like is really bright like orangey scents. Maybe because I’m a florida gal, lol who knows. But I love a good citrus or like, ylang ylang smell. 

95. favorite app on your phone?

Instagram because that’s where I chat with all my friends :^) 

[nenastrology]

Uuuuh SasuNeji 2 or 11 👀

the people want sasuneji i will give them sasuneji but im not sure any of the people wanted it like this

they looked at each other from across the room bitchy goth boy to bitchy goth boy. with nothing else interesting going on at the party neji decided it was time. time to attempt the climb. the climb to the top of stupid bitchy goth boy mountain (sai’s coinage). the official list of all the boys in konoha broken down into categories the least likely to get with neji were those in the impenetrable unconquerable fortress of stupid bitchy goth boys. their hearts already set on the dumb hot jocks the natural order of things. neji had no time for rules or order confining him to stupid made up dating standards he was feeling reckless and like having a little fun so he locked eyes with the stupidest bitchiest goth(iest?) stupid bitchy goth boy. the holy grail of dudes not into neji firmly in the dumb hot jock seeker for life camp heart and brain and everything else tied to one crazy stupid orange idiot. but he can be curious too social conventions are meant to be broken lets not reinvent heterosexuality or anything here no need to make jock and goth the new genders of konohas dating pool. neji was going in.

he walked through the crowd of people to the very corner of the room where sasuke was standing. he looked aloof and out of it maybe he was just tired. the closer he got the more it seemed like sasuke really just could use a good nap or something obviously the drink in his hand wasn’t helping. neji got closer so close he could smell what was in the cup it was orange juice he was a man of taste.

“i see you like orange juice” neji opened with a winner no one could mention the sweet taste of orange juice and not have men falling all over them it was like an aphrodisiac. maybe thats what drew him to sasuke perhaps he was the one who fell for it all. the alluring hint of citrus the real reason for his shift in thoughts.

“yeah its fine” sasuke obviously didnt seem to care all that much that was unacceptable neji had to pull out the big guns he reached deep into his pocket and pulled out a choker. this would make him irresistible he knew that. he snapped the black choker into place and sasuke obviously noticed, he leaned down to whisper something in nejis ear.  

"you are a fake goth" sasuke hissed into nejis ear a shiver ran down his spine he was found out his whole plan a wild failure he could never dismantle konohas goth/jock binary from the inside no he was an outside infiltrator he was a prep. a prep who wears chokers and has weird freaky eyes but deep down he yearned to listen to pop music and get good grades he WOULD wear a sweater vest. and thats what made him so alluring thats what interested sasuke the pure and crazy most forbidden of forbidden loves the goth and the prep a tale as old as 2003.

“actually i have no idea how old the goth subculture is” and neji was telling the truth he really knew absolutely nothing about goths

“i think it started in like 2003 or something” could sasuke be a fake goth also this was intoxicating the lies the betrayals this could be a great upheaval of konohas strict binary dating laws.

“are you not actually goth?”

“tch sometimes people can wear all black and be sad but also have good taste in music neji”

“i have no idea what you are implying you tricky bastard” this was a game of minds now and neji had no chance of backing down he knew he had an edge he knew sasuke cheated on his iq tests he knew where to hit him where it hurt.

“goths like bad music”

“oh how dare you!”

“i just said you weren’t goth”

“oh right you did indeed dont think ill forget this is a game of the minds now sasuke i know you keep your report card framed by your bed i know that to feel any joy in your life you need to read ‘was a delight to have in class’ before you sleep but i also know you penciled it in three years ago because though you are smart no one has ever called you a delight”

they locked eyes once more neji was slightly out of breath he realized this was all a bit rude he got sidetracked from the ultimate goal. how could he ever get with sasuke now if he was this mean to him god he hoped this paid off neji was out of options.

“wanna leave this party is extremely lame”

oh finally an opening it seemed he hadnt completely nuked their chances he had some hope!

“sure”

“ok”

they walked right out the door and straight to a 24 hour convenience store for a jug of orange juice and fresh cool air to clear their heads. this could be fun this could be the start of something great. or they could break up in 2 weeks when sasuke sends a cryptic :( text and blocks nejis number. who knows the possibilities are endless and the night is still young. the faint scent of orange juice will linger on nejis clothes and in his mind. when the bottle they just purchased is dumped directly on his head in some kind of absurd courting gesture. it is appreciated.

i have absolutely no idea why i wrote all of this but now you all get to read this sorry im going a little crazy this is advanced jokes now and its funny only to me

[jj-ktae]

Fragrance XI : Sillage

Title : Fragrances

Genre : Fluff, Angst, Romance

Pairing : Jaebum x Reader

Summary : You are a perfume composer, he is a lyricist, and while you’re left with too many possibilities, he is out of inspiration. Your only bond is an unknown fragrance. Second part of the Fragrances series.

Warning : Mentions of suicide. Don’t read if you’re uncomfortable with the subject please <3 

- Teaser - Wisteria - Metallic - Sillage - Accord - Final -

Sillage

We talk about sillage to explain the trail of scent left behind by a perfume. The sillage is what a perfume leaves behind, how much perfume is left after someone leaves and how long it stays. A sillage is like a memory of your presence, let it be with a natural scent or a perfume.

“Wake up sleepyhead!” You moan when you hear Jackson’s voice in your room. It’s too early to yell yet he is here, with a bag of food and a huge smile on his face.

“Not working today?” You mumble, hair all over the place.

Jackson approaches the bed and sits on it, his hand going to your hair to sort out the messy bangs “I have to catch a plane in 3 hours, thought you’d like to spend some time with me before I fly to Shanghai. There’s a company asking for Ateliers Wang for their next campaign. I’ll visit my parents while I’m there so I’ll be back in a week.” Jackson’s face isn’t pleased by the situation when he explains his plans. You can notice from the way he plays with your fingers.

“Oh, sure. How is it going with the current contract? Are you done?” You stir and get off the bed.

Jackson gets up to grab the bag of food, before taking your hand. “We finished everything today. I’ll let them rest while I’m away so we can launch the clothing line.” He opens the bag and opens numerous tiny boxes. “here, eat first.”

You sit and yawn loudly, head clouded by sleepiness. You can smell the faint scent of salmon and avocado, along with the citrus smell of a steamy tofu soup and it makes your mouth water with anticipation. “You’re a saviour.”

Jackson smiles cheekily, busy grabbing glasses and pouring some fresh orange juice in it. “So I’ve heard.” He tries to hide the apprehension in his voice but you can feel it.

He is uneasy.

“What’s wrong?” You blow on the soup and taste it, your eyes never leaving Jackson who stopped by the counter when your question hit him.

“Nothing, why are you asking?” It’s unlike him to be this serious and somehow, he knows he can’t hide it forever. “I’m just...the whole situation is messy. Me being away will drift us apart. It’s the worst time to do that.”

“The worst time?” You ask back but you know the answer. The look on Jackson’s face says it all.

“Come on. Don’t act like nothing is happening.” He scolds gently, but you see he is truly bothered. Jackson isn’t the type to get mad for little problems and most importantly, he would never go as far as bother you with it.

“Nothing is happening Jackson.” You sigh because you know what he is thinking. You don’t want it to be a big deal and he is about to make it huge. You don’t need this; you want to think about something else.

“I know. I know nothing is happening, yet.” You look at him and frown at his comment.

“What’s wrong? Say it instead of implying.”

Jackson scoffs and approaches you, his eyes soft yet judging. “You know what’s wrong. I’m bothered. I’m bothered that you might run to your soulmate while I’m away. Here, I said it.”

“My soulmate?” his comment would have made you laugh under any other circumstances, but not now.

“Yes. He came back and I know it’s bothering you as much as it’s bothering me.” Jackson stop right in front of you, arms crossed over his chest. He lost his smile and starts laughing when you don’t even try to reassure him.

“You think I’ll run to him as soon as you’ll be gone? Really?” As much as Jaebum used to be important to you, you would never sink that low. Jackson deserve all the respect and dedication you can give.

“I don’t know, you tell me.” Jackson sighs before rubbing his forehead. “Look, I don’t want you to think that I’m mad at you. It’s not like you can do anything about it.”

“Wait, what do you mean?” You get up and face him, suddenly feeling mad. Does he think you will run to him no matter what you do?

“Forget it. I shouldn’t have talked about that.” Jackson sighs and turns around, the air suddenly too heavy around the both of you.

You understand what he means, it’s not like he is spitting nonsense. You are bothered by the situation.

And you hate it.

“I forgot I had to stop by my office before going. I’ll be leaving now, then.” Jackson’s voice is everything but its usual cheerful tone, but you can’t be mad at him.

You want to hit yourself for letting him grab his jacket and storm out of your flat without moving an inch. You stay silent and even the delicious food turns sour in front of you, bearing the weight of guilt.

It’s your first argument with Jackson.

---

“Wow, who are you and what did you do to Im Jaebum?” Jinyoung whistles, eyes hidden behind sunglasses and a cup of coffee resting between his long fingers.

Jaebum sighs and shakes his head, “it’s not like I’m that different.” Jaebum finds it funny that everyone is so surprised by how he changed. It makes him realize how much of a dark person he used to be.

“If you say so. Not that I mind, though. You seem...cheerful?” Jinyoung is thinking hard, and Jaebum notices it by the way he wriggles his brows.

“I guess you can say that.” Jaebum agrees, the ghost of a smile creeping on his pursed lips.

Jinyoung nods, his body approaching the table to lean on it. His black suit makes him look like a secret agent. “Anyways. How is it going with the perfumer? No progress?”

Jaebum’s face changes instantly, his eyes turning into two slits. “I’m clueless. She hates me.”

“She is dating someone. Obviously, she is disturbed by the situation and wants you away from her.” Jinyoung explains, shrugging.

“Yeah, she is dating. I get it.” Jaebum leans on his chair. He knows he should let you be, but he can’t. he can’t stop himself whenever it comes to you. The fact that you are dating Jackson doesn’t make him angry, mostly because Jackson seems to be a very gentle guy, but he wants to be this guy, he wants to be the one making you happy. “I confessed. I told her I still loved her.”

“That is very insensitive.” Jinyoung’s sentence surprises Jaebum, who snaps his head up in shock. “You can’t force yourself back into her life.”

“That’s an amazing support. Thanks, Jinyoung.” It’s unbelievable. Jaebum thought his friend would tell him to go for it. Instead, he is almost making him feel guilty.

“I mean, you left her without a proper explanation, and no matter why you decided to go, you can’t expect her to leave everything for you. I hope you do understand that, right?” Jinyoung is cautious suddenly, like he is scared to break Jaebum with his brutal honesty.

“I know.” Jaebum’s hand goes to his forehead, rubbing it, “I just want to be with her, no matter how much I messed up. She means a lot Jinyoung, and I know I can make her happy now.”

“Don’t rush it. From what you’ve been telling me all this time, she is pretty much very in love with you. What has to happen will happen but don’t make her break up. Be there for her, show her slowly. Eventually she will get it. You did great so far, Jaebum.” Jinyoung takes his most gentle voice to talk to him.

It makes him laugh, “I won’t break. Stop talking to me like I’m 4.”

Jinyoung follows him, his wrinkles peeking from under the sunglasses. The waitress arrives and he hands his credit card, winking at his friend. “It’s on me.”

“Wow, such a gentleman.” Jaebum’s mocking tone makes Jinyoung snort, a fake look of pride painting his features.

“Talking about gentlemen, our parents’ diner is coming soon. How do you feel?” Jinyoung goes back to serious mode as soon as he finishes his sentence.

Jaebum was invited by his mother two weeks ago and agreed.

He knows he still has a lot to do about his relationship with his parents, but somehow, things got a little better. He is glad he can finally stand in the same room as them, even if his father is still a tad cold with him.

“Sweetheart! Do you know how worried we were!? Thank god Jinyoung told us!”

Jaebum isn’t ready to see his parents when he opens the door. Youngjae is in the living-room when he hears a feminine voice and joins him, stopping as soon as he sees the old couple.

He understands right away that these people are Jaebum’s parents.

“I’m sorry for not telling you, I just-”

“You’re going to keep on disappointing us, right?” His father’s tone is harsh as he pushes himself into the flat, not leaving any room for Jaebum to answer.

“No, father.” Jaebum lets his head sink into his shoulders. He wants to cry, he wants to yell until he breaks his throat, but nothing goes out of his mouth.

He feels empty.

“And you are...?” Youngjae blinks at Jaebum’s father, whose eyes are colder than ice.

“Choi Youngjae. Nice to meet you, sir.” He bows and takes a step back, his eyes looking for Jaebum who is still by the entrance door.

“Darling.” Jaebum’s mother appears and Youngjae straightens his body again, bowing. “Oh. You’re Jaebum’s friend?” Her smile is so warm, but her face is tight, like she has been living a nightmare. “Thank you for taking care of him.” She bows and he shakes his head violently, doing the same.

“Why are you here...?” Jaebum appears in the living-room and his father snorts loudly.

“Because our son would rather disappear than inform his parents about his plans to leave the country.” Jaebum’s father is not mad, he looks furious as he is looking out the window, a broad back being the only thing to talk to.

“I just...I thought you wouldn’t be interested...” Jaebum feels like a little kid as he can’t stop playing with his fingers, his mind blank and heart not ready to deal with the amount of wrath that is about to be thrown his way.

“I’m going to the grocery store...” Youngjae whispers to him, sensing it might be the moment to leave him alone with his parents but also worried about the outcome. He shows him his phone, just in case Jaebum would want to do something stupid again later.

“I don’t get it, Jaebum. Do you hate your parents?” His mother’s tone is sweet, and he can see all the sadness in her pained eyes.

“No, mother.” He answers, body tensed and jaw clenched. He cannot break down.

“Is it true that you wanted to kill yourself?” His father’s question makes him choke, beads of sweat threatening to fall all over his body from the sudden stress.

“Yes.” He can’t hide it anymore. Not when he has been doing his best to heal ever since he came here.

“You crazy bast-” His father turns around but is stopped by his mother, who is close to cry.

“...Why?” She whispers, and Jaebum cannot hold her tearing gaze.

“I... don’t think life is worth living anymore, mother.”

“Earth to Jaebum,” Jinyoung’s hand makes him snap out of his reverie. “How do you feel?”

“Good. I missed them.” Jaebum’s smile is genuine and peaceful as he answers his best friend.

He doesn’t remember the last time he felt truly happy about the idea of meeting his own parents.

It makes him feel awesome, how calm he is, now.

---

Everything hurts. Your body hurts, you throat hurts, your eyes hurt. It’s a pain standing, it’s a pain thinking. 

You lean on the fresh wall to cool your burning body, but nothing eases the pain. You hate yourself for listening to Bambam and wearing a dress trimmed with too much lace and too little fabric last night.

You cough and grab your phone, aiming for your assistant number.

It’s takes two seconds for him to answer, and there is a lot of noise behind him, like he is at a party.

But it’s only 4 p.m.

“Boss!” He is so loud it makes you tear your ear away from the phone, brows furrowed. “What’s up?”

“Bam...” You cough and suddenly, the phone is silent. “I need your help.” You have no one else but him right now, and he is a bit responsible for your current state, so he is going to be the one bringing medicine for you.

“Are you okay?” He sounds scared, like you are dying. “Do you want me to take you to the hospital?”

“No, no.” You cough and try to find your voice back, failing. “Get me some painkillers, cough syrup and cold medicine.” Your voice cracks and you moan in pain, head shaking to keep your eyes opened.

“Yes, give me thirty minutes, I’m quite far from your place. Just rest.” Bambam sounds worried and it makes you smile gently at his protective behaviour.

“Thanks.” You finish in a whisper and hang up, gladly aiming for the sofa to rest your body on it. You look at your phone screen, sighing.

No message from Jackson.

You don’t know how long you stare at the ceiling before drifting off to sleep. Your nose is running and you rub it violently, mind in a haze when the doorbell rings.

It feels like an eternity since you called Bambam but you don’t have time to count time, he is here with what will hopefully make you feel better and you can’t make him wait any longer or else you will collapse.

You’re not one to catch a cold easily, but when you do, it’s nothing but brutal and exhausting. You wished you had something more than an assistant and an empty flat as you painfully reach for the doorknob.

But you don’t need to think more, because you stop dead in your tracks. A bag is handed to you but you ignore it.

Jaebum’s face overtakes everything else.

He is smiling like an idiot, but you don’t miss the worry in his eyes. He is wearing ripped jeans with a checked shirt resting over a hoodie and a hand is lazily resting in one of his pockets.

“What are you doing here?” It takes a while for you to understand he is actually bringing the medicine you asked for. “How did you know?”

Jaebum enters slowly, daring enough to hold your gaze and even lift a hand to touch your forehead. “You’re burning.” He sighs, not liking the way his body reacts to a simple touch.

But you don’t let it get to you, “I said, what are you doing here?” You repeat but he is already going to the kitchen, putting the bag on the counter and opening the fridge for any sign of edible food.

“Bambam told me. Well, he didn’t actually tell me, I forced him to tell me. Don’t scold him, it’s my fault.” He chuckles and it makes you want to hit him.

“Can you please go?” You try but at some point, you know what he is up to. You’re not stupid, you know enough about him and life to understand he is about to play the perfect caring boy.

“You’re sick. I’m just going to help.” He closes the door and takes his phone. “What would you like to eat? I guess we should order, your fridge is empty.” Jaebum stops and waits for your reply, like you are totally okay with him being here.

But you’re not.

You’re too weak to resist. You want to face him when you feel ready, and you’re everything but ready, right now.

“Are you even listening to me?” You raise your voice and it makes you cough loudly, daggers ripping your throat in a painful manner.

“See? You’re sick. How about chicken soup?” Jaebum blinks cutely at you and you do your best not to burst out in anger.

So instead you turn around, ignoring him and wobbling to your room, where you decide to rest.

You can’t get out and can’t throw him out anyways.

Jaebum sighs to himself when you disappear, worried. Bambam had warned him, but he couldn’t stay away.

It’s funny, how he was able to shut everything a year ago, but can’t control his own feelings now.

It must be part of the recovery process.

Jaebum knows it’s hard to deal with himself, harder than everything else, but now that he learnt how to listen to himself, he has a power he thought he couldn’t have.

It makes him walk to your room, knocking on the door softly. “Take your medicine, at least.” It’s ridiculous, you can’t possibly hate him so much that you’d rather be sick than face him.

Or do you?

“Get the fuck out.” It’s a silent whisper and surprisingly, it makes him laugh. This fever is making you say things without asking your brain first.

“You became quite fierce, Y/N.” He mocks and it makes you groan in annoyance.

Since when did he become so arrogant?

“Look, I’ll just order food, help you take your medicine, and go.” He almost pleads and after a while, you appear behind the door, face paler than ever.

“Fine.” You say coldly, walking back to the kitchen.

Jaebum follows, breathing to calm his heart.

---

“Are you done?” Jaebum leans to touch your forehead while you put your spoon on the kitchen table. You just nod, eyes focused on the table.

You don’t know if it’s the medicine, but you feel exhausted, suddenly.

“Wanna rest?” Jaebum’s voice has never been so tender you think as you get up abruptly.

“Yes. Thank you for helping, you can go now.” You say, glad your nose is so stuffed you can’t smell him.

Jaebum looks down as he answers, “Sure. Go and rest.” He starts taking out the empty boxes, cleaning a little while you turn around, head spinning dangerously and almost tripping.

“Careful.” Jaebum tries to grab your arm but you take a step back.

“I’m fine.” It’s getting too hard to walk and you’re so close to collapse but your willpower is stronger. You can’t be weak in front of him, you already feel so guilty for wanting him to hold you.

“Let me help.” He asks again, this time grabbing you for real and taking you to your bed, his body stuck to yours to keep you steady. It’s too much effort to push him away, so when he pushes you on your bed, you can only spread your limbs, voice gone and body spent.

“Get some sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.” Jaebum is quick to kneel on the floor, palms against the mattress and brows furrowed in deep worry.

You look so fragile and weak. It makes him want to protect you with everything he has.

“Go, I’m fine.” You whisper. It’s ridiculous, he is not going to stay here until you wake up.

He doesn’t love you enough to do that. If he did, he wouldn’t have left.

“Y/N, stop. I can’t leave you alone when you almost collapsed. It’s either this or I’m taking you to the hospital.”

“Can you stop... acting like you care?” Your body is on fire and you know you’re confused because of the fever, but it hurts too much to be ignored.

“What do you mean?” Jaebum leans on the bed, coming closer. You’re barely whispering.

“Don’t, don’t pretend. Maybe it’s a joke to you, but I don’t want to be hurt anymore. Please.” Your tired face shows him all the pain you’ve been holding and it’s breaking him.

“I’m not pretending. I was never pretending. No matter how much you hate me, I’m telling you I love you, I never stopped.” He knows it’s going to be hard to convince you, but he can’t let you think he is playing with you.

He would never do that. You’re worth too much to be handled carelessly.

“I was wrong. But I swear I never played with you. This is why I’m here. I don’t want to see you in pain, I don’t want to see you sick.” Jaebum’s hand feels so cold on your warm face. His eyes are still as mysterious as they used to be, but they’re brighter.

It’s like sorrow left him.

“I’m in pain because you’re here.” You mumble and as much as you don’t want to hurt him, you actually do. You notice it from the way he flinches.

Jaebum bites his lip, blinking. “Of course.” His heart goes crazy and he takes a couple of deep breaths. It hurts so much. He wasn’t expecting this. He wasn’t expecting you to be over him so easily. Not when he didn’t stop thinking about you. “Obviously. What was I thinking?” his motivation is suddenly so slippery, like you crushed all his hopes with a mere sentence.

He snorts and smiles, his hands leaving your face. “I’m sorry for being such a burden, then.” Jaebum gets up and you refuse to give in to the uneasy feeling of loneliness that washes over you like a tsunami. You want to him to stay. You want to apologize for being so harsh when he has been nothing but good to you but at the same time, you think he deserves it.

Maybe it will help him get over you and start anew.

“Make sure you drink your medicine when you wake up.” He takes a couple of steps back and when he reaches for the door, he waits for you to stop him. He hopes, he begs the skies for you to withdraw what you said and ask him to stay. He cries for you to tell him you still love him.

But you turn around and there’s only your back facing him.

He doesn’t say more and closes the door behind him, a choke leaving his lips before he can stop it. You both don’t hear each other cry.

And like that, he grabs his jacket and escapes the place before he starts begging for real.

After all, he is the one responsible. He knew it.

No matter what, you would hate him, in the end.