#or replacing it often since cinnamon is Literally Tree Bark

[beanmaster-pika]

My mom nixed the lemons so now I’m gonna smell like cinnamon for the rest of my life (<- exaggeration)

[nightashes]

Virgil’s Self-Care Day

A/N: Inspired by @sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes post. This fic is just utter silliness and fluff. No plot in sight.

Summary: "A fluffy fic where Virgil actually loves himself" Otherwise known as "Virgil has regular self-care days and the others join in."

Warnings: Food

Ao3 version - writing masterlist

The day begins with Virgil’s eyes snapping open. A smile spread across his face as he thinks of what day it is, the third Sunday of the month (otherwise known as Virgil’s self-care day.) He flings his covers off, springing from bed with a wide stretching grin. His alarm sounds a minute later and a song from Evanescence, his favorite band, begins blasting through his room. Virgil smirks at his phone.

“Sorry, bud, but your gonna have to be a little faster to beat me. I’m just too good for you.”

Was it weird to talk to his phone? Maybe. Did he care? Absolutely not. 

Virgil takes a quick shower. His skin buzzing with excitement. Jumping out he speeds around his room throwing on his favorite ripped pants, combat boots, and for a change of pace he pulls out his Christmas sweater. The one that was made for him by Patton and Roman. Gosh, did he love those dorks. 

Yes. Today was a great day. The thought came again and again. He just couldn’t get it out of his head. Nor did he want to. For today was his self-care day. A day just for him to spend doing what he loves best and hanging out with the people he cares for more than anything in this world. He studies his face in the mirror. A day like this deserves some extra special eye shadow. Maybe something even a little more.

Shifting through the makeup on the top of his dresser, the varying types of eyeshadow, mascara, highlighters, and lipsticks. For a day like this, a special day, would require some extra special care and attention. A foundation pale enough to make any vampire swoon. A purple lipstick dark enough for even his Gothic soul. And a smokey eye that was well... smoking. Yeah. Virgil was rocking it today.

Stepping back, he surveys his completed work. Brushing his hair to lay just in such a way as to cast shadows over his face, increasing his spooky vibes by ten. No one could deny (not even Roman) that being scary was just plain fun. 

 Speaking of the others, it was time for breakfast. Virgil bounds down the stairs, recipes he had searched for the night before buzzing in his head. This was going to be good. Logan was already in the kitchen making his morning cup of coffee. He looked up in shock at Virgil not only being awake this early, but also being so chipper about it. The thought disappeared as the pieces clicked together in his mind. And of course they would. Logan was just that smart. 

“Self-care day, Virgil?”

“Self-care day.” Virgil smiles in response. “So pancakes? Or eggs and sausages? Maybe cinnamon rolls? Oh, I found a recipe for a quiche! What do you think?”

“As this day is for you and not I, I think it would be best to hold my opinions to myself and support your choice. Even if some of those choices are sorely lacking in nutritional value.”

“Quiche it is.” Virgil can’t help but appreciate Logan’s comment. The others always go the extra mile to make sure that he puts himself first on his self-care day. They truly do care about him.

Virgil begins pulling out all the ingredients from the fridge and cabinets, summoning whatever they don’t have. He mixes the wet ingredients (quiches sure do have a lot of eggs), folds in the veggies and extra goodies, and pours it all into the ready-made crust. Just in time for the oven to beep, letting him know that it was ready to go. Sliding the tray in with ease, Virgil leans back against the counter to appreciate this moment. Breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth in a semi-meditative state.

Patton speaks up from behind him, “Oh, is it your self-care day already?”

Virgil turns to see Patton already beginning to clean up the mess he had made baking. 

“Leave that for me, Pat. I can handle it.”

“Virgil, if you’re baking for us. It’s only fair that I clean up after you.”

“Thanks, Popstar. You’re pretty cool.”

“Am I ice cold?” Patton throws back.

“Colder than Antarctica.” 

“Awww, that’s pretty cold there, Mister. So what’s cooking, or should I say baking?”

Virgil chuckles out. “A quiche.”

“Sounds wonderful. And what are your plans for today?”

 “Oh, I have some ideas. But I think I’ll just let the wind carry me, you know.”

“Something smells great. Whatever is in the oven is fit for a king.” Roman calls as he shuffles down the stairs, still in his crown pajamas. “Oh, Virgil!” He calls seeing the two shuffling around the kitchen. “I am looving that lipstick, I was hoping your self-care day was soon. I have a wonderful idea for what you can do to tick off your ‘spending time outside’ box. That is if you are willing?”

“Depends on whatever the idea actually is, Princey.” 

“Well, picture this. The imagination. Flower fields. I know not spooky enough. But instead of the usual, I take you to see the new Deadly and Poisonous Plants and Flowers Exhibit. Made by yours truly just for you, Mr. Dark and Cheery.”

“Dark and cheery? Geez.” Virgil smirks at the nickname. “Yeah. Sure. I guess it sounds kinda cool.”

“Excellent! Just knock on my door when you’re ready. Now please tell me whatever you are baking is almost done! I swear that smell is making my mouth water.”

“In just a moment.”

And so after a family breakfast, where everyone made sure to compliment the quiche. Virgil had to say, it really was a good recipe. The group separated. Roman and Patton went to get ready. Logan insisted on cleaning up the table, since Pat and Virgil had done everything else. And Virgil sprawled himself across the couch, earbuds in and music on. 

Virgil often called this time his “be like a cat hour.” Where he would lazily stretch out, taking as much space as he needed, and just spend an hour listening to his favorite songs and scrolling through his favorite Tumblr tags. It was a moment of pure bliss. Just an hour, where he could just be with himself and enjoy the moment. But like all things, the hour had to come to an end. And so with a heavy heart, he stretched out one last time, refusing to abandon the calm atmosphere of the moment, and rolled himself off the couch. He landed on the floor with an umpf. Blinking up at the ceiling, his mind slowly coming back online and thought through all of the options for what he could do next. Roman’s offer naturally came to mind. And so not a moment later, Virgil shuffled off to knock on the prince’s star-studded door, star-studded in that it was literally covered in sparkling stars. Virgil even recognized a few from that weirdly echoey mind palace that Roman had created during the Growing Up video.

He knocked once, twice, and before his fist could land a third time. The door swung open to reveal, a panting Roman with windswept hair. His pajamas finally replaced with his prince attire. “Ready, for the best self-care day you will ever experience.”

“I mean a self-care day isn’t really supposed to be a competition-”

“Just, come in. I have so much to show you.” Roman swings the door open, sweeping his arms through the air. “The imagination awaits.”

And so together, Dark and Stormy with Bright and Rosy made their way into the imagination. Walking across rolling hills, past a bustling town and castle, and to a wide expanse of meadows stretching across the west territory. 

“Gardening has become a bit of a hobby of mine. And I get to grow so many nice flowers to gift to you and the others. Did you notice Patton’s flower crown the other day? Forget-me-knots, lily-of-the-valleys, and some daisies. All grown right here. Of course, I knew that wouldn’t interest you. So I was determined to cultivate a field of the strange and mysterious. Right over here.” Roman’s voice is loud and booming. His chest puffed out with obvious pride as he leads the anxious side deeper and deeper into the gardens. Across the twisting and turning paths until they stop at the edge of something right out of an Addams family movie. A knotted and scarred tree takes center stage with ivy growing up the twisted bark. The ground around the specimen is filled with black roses, deadly nightshade, oleander, hemlock, and varying types of thorny bushes.The path through the garden is scorched ground, as if Roman had created it by directing lightning strikes.

“Roman, this is actually pretty cool. How’d did you do this?”

“C’mon Virge, you can create anything with a little creativity.”

Virgil snorts at the cheesy answer. “Right sure. Just show me around.”

“Well, right done here, you will see a dried out fountain. And over there is a small cemetery. Nothing is actually buried there, but I thought you’d appreciate the aesthetic. There’s even a murder of crows that hang out there now.”

“Ah yes, my people, we do love to hang out in cemeteries and caw at the moon.”

“Oh, so you caw at the moon?”

“Do you doubt me?”

“No. no. How could I doubt someone who has shown they love to hiss as a way of communication? In fact, there’s a mini moon that floats above this garden just for you. Why don’t you go and caw at it now.”

“You think you can embarrass me into not cawing at the moon. Oh, Princey, Princey, Princey... You have no idea what you just started. Brethren crows!” Virgil calls to the birds settled amongst the tombstones. “The moon awaits us, let us caw!” And then the dark and stormy side runs off into the cemetery, flapping his arms and literally cawing at the moon. 

Roman looks on, his mouth dropped, as his feeble mind tries to process the true magnificence that is Virgil cawing while the crows are flying around his head joining in his song. Some even land on his outstretched arms as if he were the Crow King and they were his humble subjects.

Virgil finishes his call with a wave of his arms, as the entire murder takes flight. Their bodies covering the mini moon as they fly off into the “night” sky darkening the already overcast garden. And the anxious side turns to his companion, a devilish smirk on his features as he delights in Roman’s flabbergasted expression. 

“What’s wrong, Princey? Is my pure Halloween spirit too much for you?”

The creative side’s face immediately switches to a look of pure mischievousness. “Oh, you asked for it now. I’m going to tell all the sides all about your Halloween spirit.” He announces as he runs back through the garden heading towards the door to the imagination.

Virgil smirk only grows into a full-fledged Cheshire grin. “The hunt is on.” And then he is gone, sprinting after the creative side, his lanky form racing through the gardens, jumping over any obstacles. Barreling after the man who dares to try and best him.

Needless to say, Logan and Patton were both entirely shocked when Roman came rushing into the commons. Breathless and with windswept hair, gasping for words, only to be tackled by a cackling Virgil with murder in his eyes. The two dissolving into giggles as Roman fights to speak. “Logan… Patton… Virgil and… and the crows… and…” 

Virgil manages to pin Roman to the ground, fighting to keep his laughter at a manageable level. He growls at his friend. “You’ve been caught by the Crow King. Prepare to perish!” A black permanent marker appearing in his hand. 

Roman pales at the sight. “Virgil, wait. no. I’m sorry.”

Patton gasps at the sight. “Please, Virgil. He’s too young. He’s just a boy.”

“That doesn’t excuse him of his crimes. I am only doing what is just.”

“My beautiful face!” Roman bemoans as the marker meets skin.

Virgil is cackling.

Patton is clutching his heart.

And Logan… Well, Logan is just rolling his eyes.

“There.” The anxious side stands, releasing Roman from his grasp. “The deed is done.”

“What did he do?” Roman asks, desperately feeling around his face. “What did he write? Quick, a mirror! Someone get me a mirror.”

Patton manifests a mirror, passing it over to the panicking prince. “It’s okay. I’m here for you.”

Roman grips tightly onto the fatherly side’s hand. “Thank you, Patton.” He slowly raises the mirror with his other. Bringing it ever closer to his face to read the words written in bold across his forehead and cheeks ‘The Crow King Was Here.’

“My face. My poor beautiful face.” Roman waxes to the unforgiving world. 

Meanwhile Virgil merely chuckles evilly. “You can’t embarrass me, Roman. I always win. That’s why I’m the king and you’re the prince.”

“Are we done now?” Logan asks with a look as if he and he alone carries the weight of the world.

“I’ll get you for this, emo.”

“Come at me, bro.” Virgil fires back.

Roman launches himself at Virgil, tackling him onto the couch. Virgil hissing in protest as he fights against his oppressors grip. 

“Patton, help me.” Virgil reaches out to the moral side.

Roman flops down on top of Virgil, entrapping him beneath him. “Virgilcallshimselfthecrowkingbecausehecawsatthemoon.” Roman speaks quickly, his words running together.

“Huh?” Patton cocks his head.

“Virgil apparently caws at the moon?” Logan translates with utter confusion.

“I do!” Virgil shouts, his voice muffled as his face his pressed into the couch cushions. He struggles against Roman, lifting his head in defiance. “And I’m proud of it. I am the Crow King! Fear Me!”

“Mission Accomplished.” Roman collapses against the anxious side. “I’ll think I’ll just take a nap now.”

“Noooooo.” Virgil protests from beneath him.

“Oh, you silly kiddos. Do you guys wants some lunch?”

“Yes, please.” They speak in unison.

“Right. Virgil after lunch I was hoping to ask you to join me and Patton in our knitting club again. It was quite…pleasant the last time. And I thought it would check off your ‘do something creative’ box.”

“Yeah, I’ll be there.” The dark and stormy side speaks from beneath Roman, resigned to his fate as a couch cushion.

Virgil’s self-care days didn’t always contain such chaos. But if Virgil was being truthful it was days like this, where they could all let loose without care or concern, that made him look forward to them with such excitement. And as he laid there, smushed underneath Roman and planning out his knitting project revenge, while Roman chatted on and on about how he should be the one to make dinner and then they could have a movie marathon after, Virgil decided that tickling his way out from under Roman just required too much energy. Instead, he allowed Roman’s flowery language to wash over him, surprisingly at peace with his predicament, as he patiently awaited for Logan and Patton to return with lunch.

awesome people to tag: @stop-it-anxiety @rainboots-are-for-snobs @hexatrash @ollyollyoxinfree