#he was never going to hold Lucy gray into the version of her that he wanted

[alicentflorent]

You can't take my past, You can't take my history

You can't take my charm, You can't take my humor

Thinking you're in control, Thinking you'll change me, maybe rearrange me Think again, if that's your goal

Cause you can't take my sass, And you can kiss my ass

Nothing you can take from me was ever worth keeping.

[kiss-me-muchoo]

𝐖𝐞’𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐟𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 || 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠!𝐂𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐮𝐬 𝐒𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

part one: we’ll be safe and sound || part two: isn’t it delicate?

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲_ Lucy Gray Baird was once your best friend. But Coriolanus Snow arrived and it was you who had them both charmed up. Where Coriolanus returns to the Capitol thinking he killed two women. Only to be surprised to realise that he doomed the bright prospect of his future.

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬_ ANGST, kinda Lucy Gray x Coryo x reader, chasing, blood, slight gore if you imagine some scenes, poisonous berries, mentions of aphrodisiacs, drowning, violence, this gets slightly dark.

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞_ this is one of my favourite fics ab Coriolanus so far. Main songs are Safe and Sound (Taylor’s version), can’t catch me now again and triste verano lol. Part two is going to be the aftermath of this btw

♪ ♫ awful Coriolanus Snow playlist ✰ Index (+ fics here)

__________________________________________________________

The water was warm. The soft rocks at the bottom made it slippery to stand still. But you did your best to stay there, looking at your friends laughing and playing where the water was deep.

“I can’t do it.” You say, shaking your head.

“You’re such a baby. Of course, you can!” The girl beside laughs at you and gently pushes you.

“Lucy Gray! I swear if you push me again I’m killing you” she laughs harder.

“Lucky me I know how to swim and you don’t”

“Relax. Just take my hand, I’m not letting you drown” Slowly, you take her hand, letting Lucy Gray guide you deeper into the water.

“I’m closing my eyes” you warn her. She rolls her eyes and laughs. The voices of your friends and the splashing sounds closer. At the same time, you feel the water has reached your chest. And it sends you on spirals.

“It’s okay. Just let go…” You’re holding Lucy Gray’s hand too tight. But as you reach further, you start making a big attempt to float. That’s when Lucy Gray grabs both of your hands to help you.

She finds your furrowed brows and insecure face funny and cute at the same time.

After some existential nights, the young girl questioned if she had ever felt such a strong connection with anyone as she did with you.

No. Never.

“Lucy Gray!” When she comes back to reality, she smiles shocked. She had dropped your hands but you had managed to keep floating. You were swimming.

“See? You did it!” Some of the members of The Covey cheer and you smile and laugh at their jokes.

“Told ya’. You’re just a baby” You poke your tongue out and she just makes fun of you.

“So funny. Shouldn’t you be at the market helping Maude Ivory to sell the necklaces we made?” Lucy Gray rolls her eyes again.

“Shouldn’t you be home?” It’s noon, almost dark. And yes, you should be home.

“I should.” To Lucy Gray, it was a disappointment to see that you never shared anything about your family or home. She just knew your mother’s family was from District 4, nothing else.

“Go home. I don’t want you to get scolded.” She was too sweet. Too sweet that you questioned if Lucy Gray Baird was your best friend.

“Petal, I’m almost eighteen…” one of the girls threw you a towel as soon as you made it out of the lake. After thanking her, you slip into your black sundress, which captures your alleged best friend’s attention.

“Why the black dress?” As a colour lover, you supposed Lucy Gray was hating your dress.

“It was the first thing I grabbed,” you admit, drying your hair with the towel.

“It looks like you’re going to a field funeral.”

“Maybe I was. In case I happened to have died in the lake” you joke, making her splash you. Lucy Gray noticed at that moment that you used many words that sounded too educated.

“Do you trust me so little?” She asked as she watched you leave.

“You know I trust whoever is loyal to me.” And with that, you disappeared through the trees.

There was something on you that intrigued Lucy Gray. And soon there will be two.

…

One night, at the hob, Lucy Gray is performing with The Covey and you are seated, smiling at her and your friends. Then all of a sudden, a certain blonde and tanned boy reaches for you.

“Y/N!” You hear your name and once you turn, you spot your two new friends.

“Sejanus, hey!” He offers you a little hug but it’s nothing compared to when Coriolanus Snow got closer.

“Coriolanus…” he literally falls into your open arms, his arms snaking around your hips with so much disguise that it makes you blush at the intimacy.

“I’ve told you… you can call me Coryo” You smile at him, inspecting his charming blue eyes that still made you get lost like the first day.

“Right… Well, it’s nice to see you, Coryo” he wants to chuckle. As Sejanus gets lost to get a drink, the blonde man takes a seat beside you.

“How has your training been? Hopefully not too hard.” You ask and wonder. Coriolanus was a peacekeeper in training. You met him almost three weeks ago, and somehow he made you very happy.

“I’m used to it now. The first days were the worst” you nod, turning back to see Lucy Gray and cheer for her.

Meanwhile, Coriolanus looked at you. Even your profile was a mystery to him. There was something about you that made him feel at home. Maybe it was your mannerisms that were very… Capitol. And that’s the thing, he didn’t know you. Yet, there was something that urged Coriolanus to unveil you. And that has started to make him question his feelings for Lucy Gray.

The moment you knew Coriolanus was Capitol, you started putting everything in a balance. And as you spent days talking outside of The Covey House and the lake, you realised you had started to put an eye on him.

When you turned to see the young man, you were surprised to see him already looking at you.

“What?” You ask, smiling. He replies by looking down, cheeks slightly flushed with pink.

“Nothing.” Your hand sneaks around your neck, and you feel it naked. You have lost your necklace.

Coriolanus sees how you start looking at the table, then the floor, looking out for something.

“What happened?”

“My necklace. I think I lost it… damn it” he starts helping you.

“Maybe it fell at the entrance” he suggests. So together we leave the hob. All under the fixated look of Lucy Gray. Who kept singing but the feeling on her chest made her uneasy.

The necklace doesn’t appear.

“It was just a necklace. But…” you sigh, leaning against the wall of the alley. Just a golden chain, no pendant, nothing.

Coriolanus can only see your features under the moonlight, ignoring the necklace issue. You have a beautiful dress under an oversized cardigan. With or without the necklace, you look gorgeous.

“It was a present. From my sixteenth birthday”

“Have mine.” You look at him before giggling. He takes his tag, a silver chain with his name on it. The young man thinks you would like him even more by offering his tag to you. He wants you to become closer to him. But the offer could be seen as wrong.

“I can’t take it, Coryo” he gets closer and the proximity makes you avoid his eyes. Only to land your vision on his hand taking yours.

He slips the tag in your palm, it’s still warm.

This is the most intimate moment you’ve shared with him. And you don’t know how to feel about it.

“At least until you get a new necklace” he suggests, offering a little smile. You can see he has no moles around his face, barely visible freckles maybe. His skin is very clear and his lips…

As you’re too focused on analysing his face, you accept the chain. And for some reason, you let him play with your cold fingers.

“Until then…” he leans closer, and the air suddenly feels fogged. It could be just another humid summer night.

But no, it was because Coriolanus Snow was less than two inches away from kissing you.

His free hand was ready to land behind your neck, just to slightly push you towards him and finally discover what your lips felt like.

“Where were you two?…” the side door of the hob opened. And like two volts, you and Coriolanus separate from each other. You grasp his tag tightly around your hand in a fist.

Lucy Gray had seen the interaction.

“Just looking for y/n’s necklace,” Coriolanus said first, walking away from you.

“Oh. Well, we were just waiting for you two. They want to start a round with beers” the girl said, rolling her eyes and giggling, pretending very well.

“Let’s go then…” Coriolanus walked past her, smiling at her like nothing happened. You tried to do the same. But Lucy Gray grabbed your forearm, stopping you from entering the hob behind the young man.

“Say the truth. Are you falling in love with him?” You frown, slightly irritated at the question.

“Of course not. I barely know him.” You replied a little too harshly. She nodded, silently believing you.

“You know I’ll never be the woman who wrecks a relationship.” She takes your word a little wounded. Seeing how you enter the hob quietly.

She just stares at the sky. You had been a good friend and she trusted you. Lucy Gray was having a little crisis. She questioned at that very moment if she actually loved Coriolanus.

Certainly not. She didn’t trust him at the beginning. Seeing him almost kissing you, was making her not trust him at the end. And Lucy Gray knew. You were so loyal to ever intentionally get involved in some affair. You preached to Not do what you don’t want to happen to you.

But the truth is that you would wreck a relationship. Unintentionally, but twice.

…

It was you who discovered a pomegranate tree near The Covey House. The branches were long and the season of pomegranates was until late summer, but somehow, in August, the tree was blossoming a couple of red beats.

Near the house, the nomad group had built some locations to make their lives easier. Like some stations to wash clothes and eat. Maude Ivory was sick, she started with a sore throat and she developed a stomach infection later. So you suggested picking their laundry. And since you spent more time with The Covey rather than your family, it wasn’t rare for Coriolanus to find you folding some dresses that were once hanging on a tightrope between two trees.

He stepped on a branch and it made you jump startled.

“Gosh! You scared me!” you squeaked after seeing Coriolanus standing there with his peacekeeper uniform. He grinned, leaving his little backpack on the table. He spotted a little basket filled with pomegranates.

“You picked all this?” He asked, pointing at the basket.

“Yes. It was a big surprise to see pomegranates in August. They start their season at the end of the month or September.”

“I never thought you would be that kind of girl?” You frowned laughing, turning back to fold the dresses into another basket.

“What kind, Coriolanus?” Shortly after, you know he is behind you. You can feel his breath in the nape of your neck, and it sends shivers to your spine.

“The kind who climbs trees and folds laundry while singing” your cheeks immediately go red. He had heard you sing previously.

“You heard me?”

“Indeed. Very pretty voice,” he said after sensing how embarrassed you were.

“I don’t sing. And you really shouldn’t be here. Lucy Gray was looking for you” You state firmly. Realising how much anyone could misinterpret the situation if they find you almost tangled up with Coriolanus Snow behind you.

“She was gone when I arrived here.”

“Oh…” you say, taking the basket with the laundry. When Coriolanus sees that you are also going to grab the one with the pomegranates, he stops you.

“Let me help you…” he takes the one with the fruit.

“Thank you.” He grabs your hand again, and it makes you weak. But you remember your dear friend. And the loyalty you preach.

“You can’t do this, Coryo. Not to her, not you. And not to me…” he sighs. Honestly, he didn’t want to hurt either one. But it was you who he was always trying to describe. It was you making him laugh so much. And it was you who made him feel like… home. Like…Capitol.

“You make me feel different.” You roll your eyes.

“And how did she make you feel in the first place?” They met at the Capitol. While you prayed for Lucy Gray’s survival at the Hunger Games. Boys could be liars.

“Lucy Gray made me feel like I had an option away from home.”

“But… you make me feel like I can have both. I can have this…” he says looking down at the pomegranates and folded laundry.

“And also… what I had there.” You have to look away. You see the trees and how some leaves fall because of the breeze.

“You’ll have to choose one day…” he nods, but he’s so close to you. He can see every detail of your delicate face. So as much as he tries to resist the urges, he ends up leaning closer. Your lips brush his and it’s magical. You really want to kiss him too.

“Doesn’t have to be today. Right?” His comment makes you almost retreat. And before you can walk away he pulls you to his chest again, finally kissing you.

He’s soft, yet passionate and intense. His right-hand finds comfort in the back of your neck while the other lands on your chin, deepening the kiss. For you, it’s an automatic response to put your arms around his neck.

As the kiss turns more desperate, the hand on your chin ends up pushing your lower back and you have to suppress a moan when you feel the clear outline of his manhood poke at your lower belly and part of your pelvis. It’s not enough to the fire you both initiated, but you have to stop.

Both of you pant for air and somehow he ends up smiling.

“Until the day you choose. This never happened.” You say firmly, but slowly, and you also smile at him.

Your smile was enough to keep him calm on the way back. Unconsciously, both of you feel like silly kids. Shyly walking side by side with baskets in your hands.

“So you couldn’t swim?” Coriolanus asks after some minutes walking to The Covey House.

“I couldn’t. Most of my family is from District 4. It’s embarrassing, to be honest.” He assumed you were also from there. And he couldn’t help but think that District 4 was closer than the 12 from the Capitol. Immediately he brushed away the thought.

“But Lucy Gray taught me. Kind of a violent teacher, but it was still great” you admit laughing. And Coriolanus was blushed. Surprisingly, he found himself on the verge of being jealous. Yes, of Lucy Gray teaching you how to swim.

Through the trail, one of the boys from The Covey appears, he looks too sweaty and tired, gasping and desperate.

“Y/N! Is Maude. She has a lot of fever and we don’t know what to do” You immediately worry, starting at a faster pace, followed by Coriolanus.

“Where is Lucy Gray?” You ask. The boy shrugs guiding you to their home.

“We don’t know. She’s nowhere near.” You sigh.

As soon as you make it inside, you find the girl lying on a couch, sweating and panting. Your heart broke as you kneeled beside her.

“Maude? You are going to be fine.” She seems to have identified you and slowly nodded.

Coriolanus follows you as you run to their improvised kitchen. You mix some herbs and boil them with water.

“Coryo, please hand me the honey.” He looks around to see a glass with honey and hands it to you.

And then, Coriolanus swears he fell in love with you as you treated Maude Ivory, immediately making her rest.

…

One night, Lucy Gray is oddly quiet. You know something’s up. So when you gently caress her shoulder, she lets out a long breath before spilling everything.

“Coriolanus shot Billy Taupe and the mayor’s daughter.” Your eyes widened, before letting a shocked gasp.

“What?” Lucy Gray nodded, confirming the facts to you.

“He did it to protect me and Sejanus. But…”

“This is bad. You know how this district is. Rumours will spark, the people will talk…” you spiral about it too panicked.

“I don’t want you nor Coriolanus to get in more trouble. What if-“

“It’ll be fine. We’ll be safe…” she hugs you, hearing how you tried to hide your sobs from her. She continues to share what happened and where the murder weapon was. She encourages you to keep the secret and play pretend until the waters soothed.

The waters only get worse. Like the tides form hours before a tsunami. After a peaceful morning, you find Lucy Gray at the market. You eat half a sandwich with her and you share that your mother was worried about the rumours. Including the fact that the authorities were starting to turn their heads towards Lucy Gray. She acts calm and used to have people talking about her. But being accused of murder was something different.

And it only gets worse when you two get closer to the chaos. Where Sejanus Plinth and the man who hid the murder weapon were hanged for treason. Lucy Gray takes your hand as you cover your mouth in shock.

You are able to see Coriolanus. The panic on his face is evident enough to make you feel uneasy. And that’s when Lucy Gray plans something.

You listen to her tell Coriolanus about leaving the districts. There are feelings of nausea, sadness, and stress washing all over you. That is abruptly cut by the couple turning to see you.

“Did you listen, y/n?” Lucy Gray asks. You stay quiet.

“Come with us. Please” she adds. You look at Coriolanus. His face doesn’t express anything, but he really wants you to agree. He knows it is a bad idea, he knows that is dangerous. But he wants to have you too.

You have plenty of reasons to stay. A little family, a home, a future. Which was certainly unsure for your dear people. They had nothing to lose.

Half of you were unsure, afraid of growing up and not being able to make it. So you had two options. And you weren’t ready to make a decision.

“Please, y/n. You’re my best friend. I can’t make it without you” Time never passed apparently. Lucy Gray and Coriolanus were still looking at you, waiting for some answer.

Your tongue gets loose before you can’t think clearly.

“I’ll come.” Coriolanus sees how the girl hugs you tightly. And he knows there’s no way back. He doesn’t know what to expect about this.

After agreeing to meet in the hanging tree, the three of you part separate ways.

You don’t think much about it. Because if you did, you would start analysing, and probably you would stay.

Coriolanus is too busy in the barracks to even remember. But he can’t help to think about you and Lucy Gray in a balance, knowing he was lingering too much on your side.

And Lucy Gray understands that in the long term, you’ll either grow old seeing her and Coriolanus being together. Only if it didn’t turn out the other way, where Coriolanus ended up taking you and it was Lucy Gray who would have to bear it.

Either way. She would leave with the only two humans he could trust. Or so she believed.

…

Your boots are dusted. You stare at them, a bitten prune in your right hand a little knife in the other. The way he grabs her chin makes you feel uncomfortable… and jealous.

Coriolanus didn’t kill his old self. That was for sure. You have your own theories, but you refuse to add gasoline to the fire. Not when you have made it outside of District 12.

“Not the best time to throw allusions, Coryo,” you say walking past them, separating the couple. You hoped to have soothed the tension. But you knew Lucy Gray had decreased her trust in the boy.

“You’re right. Sorry…” Coriolanus accepts looking at Lucy Gray. Then to you and your silly headscarf, your long silk dress, and fishing dark jacket.

“We really needed her. Right?” Lucy Gray throws the words, making Coriolanus frown confused. And that’s when he questioned if the girl also had some feelings for you, other than being best friends. Because the way he was on the verge of smiling at the sight of you was the same way she was looking at you.

“She will prevent us from killing each other” he attempted to joke.

“Or be the reason why we kill each other,” Lucy Gray said. Coriolanus disliked the comment.

And so on, for the rest of the walk, it’s you making the air lighter. Your smiles made Coriolanus forget the offer of moving to District 2. Even the situation where his grandmother and Tigris were in. But Lucy Gray reminded him of his errors and his new upcoming country life. Your random comments about plants that are poisonous and others that work as medicine or aphrodisiacs make Lucy Gray blush and keep focused. Knowing that having you by her side was a good sign.

You lean to pick some violet flowers, and both Lucy Gray and Coriolanus look at each other to then look at you.

“Medicine, poisonous or…?” You giggle, noticing how Lucy Gray was avoiding saying the word.

“Saffron. An aphrodisiac, actually,” you answer, looking at her blush and Coriolanus’ little smirk.

“Some threads of this with warm milk or wine and…” Coriolanus can’t help but laugh briefly. You ignore the way he looks at you. The cheeky look he offered you and how you evidently looked away, blushed.

Lucy Gray caught a glimpse of your necklace. She stopped blushing as soon as she looked carefully. It was Coriolanus’ tag. Dangling between your breasts and shining under the last rays of the sun. It was getting cloudy. Likely, a humid rain was coming.

“I’ll take the lead from here.” Lucy Gray says, her tone a little more cold.

She starts walking away and Coriolanus takes the opportunity to help you stand up.

“You should take some…” when you understand what he meant, you punch his arm.

“You’re insane, Snow” he laughs and cynically goes to trace your face with one of the flowers.

“I think I’ve made my decision.” You turn to look at Lucy Gray, who’s even further then. Then back to the blonde guy with gorgeous blue ocean eyes.

You don’t want to hurt her. Lucy Gray deserved better. But you couldn’t deny that if the days kept passing, you would completely and blindly fall in love with Coriolanus Snow.

“We won’t do anything about it. Yet…” you say, sliding a little bunch of the violet saffron flowers inside your bag. Coriolanus shakes his head. There’s a big smile on his face, returning to walk before he jumps there to kiss you.

…

When the rain starts you decide to find the lake. Under the rain, the dark underwater conditions made it desirable to fish. Fish were more active and hopefully, you would be able to bring something to have for dinner that night. The cabin was very near. Coriolanus stayed there and Lucy Gray came to the lake with you. She was quiet, watching how your feet were underwater, and you sank a sharp branch constantly.

“I have one!” You happily yelled, watching how the poor animal squirmed.

When you leave it in a little bag with Lucy Gray, she stops you.

“Lucy Gray?”

“I swear I won’t ask again. But please be honest, y/n.” She starts and it makes you frown confused. You drop the branch, waiting for her question.

“Do you love him?” She finally asks.

You remain quiet. But you keep your word.

“I don’t know…”

She nods, looking at the damn tag on your neck. She should’ve known.

“That doesn’t mean I’ve been acting behind your back or that I will” you add. Because it’s true. None of your encounters with Coriolanus were set by you. It was he who always looked out for you.

“Not yet.” She spits, giving you a harsh look. You sigh, tilting your head, hands on your hips.

“Are we going to ruin everything for a man?”

“I don’t know. Are you?” She asks with a sarcastic smile.

“I won’t do this, Lucy Gray. And you shouldn’t either. Not when we’ve come this far already.” You say looking away from her, grabbing the branch, and walking away.

“Alright. I’m going back to the cabin. See you there?” She asks to surrender.

“Sure.” You hear her footsteps leaving. And you can finally breathe, your eyes water and you question everything.

The long days working with The Covey, helping them to make handicrafts to sell at the market. The nights laughing nonstop with Lucy Gray and giving her to drink when she shouldn’t, how she braided your hair and caressed you. All the good performances she gave and how good the celebrations were.

Then the days you were able to have long walks with Coriolanus, getting to know little but something about his life at the Capitol. The nights you sneaked at the barracks, and both spent hours drinking and saying silly things. The soft touches he started giving you. How he cared for you and always wanted you to be okay.

You realise they are the most important people in your life outside of your family. They are the strongest connections you’ve ever made. And you didn’t have the heart to ruin it or sacrifice it.

Those thoughts are long gone after you hear some shooting. You drop the branch again and you start running towards the cabin. You forget your boots and the fish. It’s the panic of knowing something bad has happened that reigns in your head. Some dry leaves hurt your bare feet but you don’t care.

You literally jump the stairs of the cabin. And once you open the door, you spot Coriolanus with the rifle in one hand. A knife on the other. That forbidden rifle.

You see some dry blood in his arm. An evident bite was there.

“What happened?” You rush to inspect his arm.

“Snakebite” but he’s fast enough to turn and start giving you pecks across the face. And once his lips brush your chin, you can’t take it anymore.

Neither him, he finally kisses you like he never ever did.

It’s desperate. While you kiss him back, many questions keep flooding your head. And you can’t fully concentrate on his lips. So you back away.

“Where’s Lucy Gray?” He remains quiet. Slowly, you look down. Until your eyes land on the rifle. You start walking backward, shaking your head. Tears forming again.

“No…” you whisper as he tries to get closer to you again. Coriolanus wants to scream and tell you everything is going to be okay. But he knows it’s not true. He sees how you’re starting to look shocked. And he realised how smart you were, how fast you connected the dots.

He makes you sit on the creaky chair of wood. He offers you a dark brown glass, where he pours some of the water. Slowly, you take the glass, hoping to calm yourself with some water.

Once you drink a sip, you see a crushed berry. Quickly you spit the water, throwing the glass as it shatters into the floor.

It was a Lily of the Valley, a poisonous berry.

“YOU POISONED ME!” You scream. He opens his eyes and enters in panic.

“No, y/n. It was an accident!” The urge to run increased. Probably what your dear Lucy Gray tried to do. It makes you finally cry.

That crushed berry was an accident. Coriolanus told Lucy Gray to wait for you, to prevent cooking anything that was poisonous from your collection.

“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?” He stops you, and as soon as he touches you, your reaction is violent. You keep squirming, trying to run away from him.

He drops the rifle, but the hand with the knife keeps dangerously brushing your temple. And Coriolanus wants to stop fighting so badly, worried that he could hurt you even more. Also, he panics as he knows the poison could be spreading.

He can’t be alone. You were his remaining hope.

“PLEASE STOP, Y/N!” But you don’t.

“YOU KILLED HER! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!” Suddenly both of you stop. You touch your face and your whole palm is covered in blood.

Another thing Coriolanus never meant to. The knife had made a deep cut, and the scarlet kept flowing from that side of your face, covering your silk dress with spots.

“It was an accident. Y/n…please”

An accident… he wanted to kill you.

You run. You run as fast as you can. Towards the lake, wherever. As long as you could be away from Coriolanus.

He runs too, he chases you. Making you feel like his prey. You try to ignore the fear that keeps building up. You ignore the blood threatening your vision from the left eye.

“STOP, Y/N!” Coriolanus screams.

“GET AWAY FROM ME!” But you don’t stop, you reach the old wooden platform at the lake. The rain splashing against the surface of the lake is loud, but not enough to silence your sobs of anger, fear, and pain.

Coriolanus also fears. He knows he’s a monster, but he didn't want to be one around you. Maybe it was his karma. He believed Lucy Gray placed his mother’s scarf on top of that snake. You believed he had purposely placed the crushed Lily of the Valley at the bottom of that glass.

He keeps running, you won’t go anywhere in that wood thing.

You turn to see him. And it destroys him. Your face and drenched dress. All covered in blood and rain. Your red and swollen eyes. He had broken you in less than twenty minutes.

And looking at his eyes was your ending. Because you slipped. Coriolanus saw how your weak body fell into the water and he ran faster.

But he didn’t jump. It was too late.

Soon he realised your body would never make it to the surface.

He cried, he screamed in that lake. He fell on his knees and cursed at the way things happened. He lost his head when Lucy Gray was gone, and he returned even more stressed as he thought you had also run away. But you came straight to his arms, hoping to see everyone was fine. And he just kept cursing, wishing he had given you a different glass.

Some minutes later, he goes back to the cabin. He takes the rifle carefully wrapped with a blanket and takes a raft.

As he lets the rifle sink into the lake, he wonders where your body had ended up. But he accepts it was probably better to let you rest peacefully underwater than disturb you.

In his head, he truly fell in love with you. Lucy Gray had been an enigma for most of the time, only to reveal her true nature in her final moments. And you, Coriolanus realised you were the real mystery.

Just like your death.

He took all the flowers you had collected and sprinkled the lake with them. His eyes watered once again. Thinking about what could’ve been. And after a minute of silence, he leaves. The lake, the cabin, the outsides of the districts.

With two remaining memories; Lucy Gray’s earring and a single saffron flower you promised to give it a try with him.

Coriolanus swears that he actually needed you. But you’re gone.

…

Ending up back in the Capitol makes Coriolanus feel like Lucy Gray’s death was worth it, actually. But yours makes him feel guilty. He could’ve asked you to come with him. To forget about everything that happened on the 12 and start a new life. With the Plinth fortune and Gaul’s help on his side, Coriolanus accepts the only missing piece is you.

The saffron flower rested between the pages of his journal, now dry. But the color was vivid as the day it blossomed.

Coriolanus is a new man. Who had let go of his past, but not the memory of you. He mourns your death the first week he comes back home. And he tells his grandmother that from now on he will only wear her white roses.

A symbol of peace, hope, and innocence. Which he had lost a long time ago. But it reminded him of you. Especially the hope, which was what you took away from him when you died.

So he accepts the invitation from the annoying childish girl Livia Cardew. The golden blonde was always a shy yet smiley girl in class. But Coriolanus never paid much attention to her. Until he learned Livia’s older cousin was a famous and respected politician. So he agreed to come with her to the Inauguration Day. President Ravinstill was too depressed and down after his son died at the hands of a rebel attack. So he had to retire. And Coriolanus knew it was a great opportunity to look out for contacts and form new comrades.

“You look amazing,” Tigris said, brushing her cousin’s shoulders, inspecting his dark blue suit.

“Maybe because you did this,” Coriolanus said, happy to see the young woman smiling again. After the bittersweet comment of saying he looked like his father, there had been a shift.

“With some help,” she says, admitting all the hard work was not from her hands. Now she had a little atelier where she had help and started new fashion trends at the Capitol.

“Even so, you designed it. Thank you, Tigris” he smiled at her.

“Are you still going with that girl?”

“Livia? Yes… Why?” He asked, looking at himself in the mirror.

“I don’t think she’s the one Coryo. She’s a child” Tigris admitted, arms crossed and avoiding looking at the man.

“She’s my age, Tigris.”

“Still… allow me to say this but, she doesn’t seem to be what you need” Coriolanus sighed. Of course, Livia Cardew wasn’t what he needed, she just had some contacts and a good reputation from her family. But they had nothing in common.

Coriolanus Snow needed you. An alleged district woman, who didn’t even know her last name or background. Just the sweet girl who seemed to be the remedy for all aches.

“I know she’s not the one” and Tigris knew there had been someone else than her cousin’s tribute. Something else happened. But she wouldn’t ask him.

“Listen, I’m just going with her to the inauguration, but this doesn’t mean I’ll take her for granted,” he says, pushing away his memories from you.

“Say goodnight to Grandma’am for me, please” Tigris nods, briefly smiling once again before kissing his cheek and wishing him good luck.

The celebration had been very ostentatious. With a lot of people cheering for the new president. He seemed young, with a mature beautiful wife. There was a rumour that he was District 4 governor and was Mr. Ravinstill's best friend. That said a lot about why District 4 was wealthier than District 2 or three compared to before.

Nonetheless, the Capitol’s citizens seemed to be embellished by this new president who promised a new start for everyone in Panem.

Soon after the Inauguration Ceremony, only the wealthiest and finest members of the Capitol were invited to continue the celebration in a mansion near the hills. The view was amazing and the remaining minutes of the sunset were gorgeous up there.

Coriolanus had barely tasted from his posca. After you, he started to pay more attention to poison. He saw some classmates, like Festus, Clemensia, Vypsania, Hilarius, etc. A side of him wants to get closer and say hi, but Livia appears beside him, eating a little pastry.

“Imagine living here and being able to see this view every morning, evening, and night.” She says. Coriolanus hates her purple dress and red lipstick. As he thought, Livia was ridiculously trying to look mature.

“It’s a great view.” He replies coldly. The city was finally looking brighter, modern, and illuminated.

He turned to see the profile of the girl and noticed she had some cream on her chin.

“You have some-“ Livia understands and quickly wipes it away, smiling at him. She was pretty, but not his type.

“Better?”

“Yes.” The crowd suddenly starts talking, capturing the couple’s attention. So when both Livia and Coriolanus turn towards the mansion, they see two peacekeepers opening the doors from the biggest balcony. And the new man who had the crown of president appeared, followed by his wife. And then what seemed to be his family.

The guests started a round of applause, looking up from the giant patio. Coriolanus finally took a little sip of his drink.

“Dear friends and honourable guests. It is my joy to say that the inauguration ceremony was a success. My family and I feel extremely blessed and thankful for all the support we have received” the man started his speech. Coriolanus was mentally taking notes. As that was the man he would literally have to beg to become the Capitol’s governor one day. And hopefully, then become president.

“This is going to be a period of change, evolution, and a new start for the history of Panem. I look forward to meeting all the involved staff and personnel to make this real” he sounded honest, yet, like a dangerous species that you had to be careful around.

“For now, I’d like to introduce my sweet and dedicated daughter, who shall not be judged by her young age. But to be admired for the position I’m giving her, as chief of staff.” it was able to be heard on the microphone. He said the name, but no one heard.

And the first thing Coriolanus saw between the lines of the railing were some weird heels and the layers of a tulle dress.

Then a satin top with some soft knitted sweater, with shiny buttons. A delicate golden necklace and some dark brick red lips.

Coriolanus Snow almost dropped his glass. His face went pale and Livia had to borrow the glass from him.

“Are you okay?” She asked worriedly. Coriolanus nodded, but he had an evident nausea forming.

“Y/n. Come here, darling…” the new president said with a smile. Putting an arm around his daughter, proud of showing her off.

The president’s daughter was you.

He couldn’t believe it. He saw your body drowning. You drank poison, and the cut on your temple. How could you have survived?

That didn’t matter. There you were with a shy smile. Innocence is long gone. Coriolanus only saw the mystery, the danger in your face.

Seeing you there, breathing, as much as he wanted to have you alive before, was going to curse his existence.

“A toast for everyone here. To begin this new era with the right feet!” Your father said, raising his glass.

Everyone did it then.

“For the president!” The guests cheered in unison.

Fireworks started, making everyone turn to the sky. Even Livia walked a little past Coriolanus, but he stood there looking at the balcony. Eyes set on you.

You spotted him. And it stopped your world.

He looked even more beautiful than he did in 12. Longer hair, perfect weight gained. Clean and elegant suit. Now you know everything about him. And it broke your heart. You had healed through the trauma of what happened in the lake. Nobody knew, besides you and him.

You hoped to keep it that way. But you had no compassion left for a man like Coriolanus Snow. Who killed your best friend, almost killed you, and loved you the wrong way.

You knew he would be scared to see you alive. He would end up begging on his knees at the slight error he committed. He would have many questions, that time would answer for him.

Your days of being a loyal and sweet girl were gone. Coriolanus had stripped you bare from any trace of trust, unconditional love, and innocence.

You stare at him, and he looks shocked. He looks so scared and… frail. So you greet him back with a smile, sipping at your glass one last time, before looking up at the fireworks.

He really thought that it was the end.

____________________________________

Minitaglist: @rockstarbfs @gracieroxzy @il0vebeingdelulu @coconut-dreamz @angelscrime @maryvibes @justacaliforniandreamer

part two? yey or nay?

[captainremmington-13]

A Lady Made of Snow

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own The Hunger Games franchise, the images above, The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes, or any of the characters in this fic other than Bellova.

SUMMARY: Bellova begins to notice how dedicated Coriolanus is to helping his tribute, which greatly displeases her. But her anger at the young Snow is temporarily forgotten about when one of her classmates dies in her arms. (i’m using a combination of the movie and book version of the events that occur in this chapter)

Warnings: spoilers for TBOSAS, death, mentions of violent urges, mentions of blood, crying, one swear word

Bellova sighed inwardly, drawing a rose with a fountain pen on her notebook where she was supposed to be writing down Dean Highbottom’s words. The lecture was pointless in her opinion. She knew everything the dean was talking about by heart, and she was alive when the events being discussed were occurring. 

She would never admit it to him, but she wished Coriolanus hadn’t skipped class to accompany his tribute. It was unusual for him, the star student, to miss a lecture, even one of Highbottom’s. The competition between them made the dean’s nonsensical ramblings almost bearable.

Then, as if on cue, a breathless and sweaty Coriolanus burst into the lecture hall. All eyes turned to him, shocked at his disheveled appearance.

“Your little excursion was in violation of about five different Academy rules, Mr. Snow. Chief amongst them, endangering a Capitol student,” Dean Highbottom said, not looking up from his papers. 

“What?” Coriolanus said, baffled. “Who?”

“You.” Highbottom’s response made Bellova roll her eyes. He was constantly looking for reasons to target the young Snow. “I’m moving for the Gamemakers to disqualify you as mentor immediately.”

“You said we had to get our tributes to perform, not that we had to stay away,” Coriolanus argued, standing at his seat next to Bellova but not sitting down.

“I’ll add insubordination as well,” the dean said smugly.

“Holding her hand, Coryo? Introducing her to people?” Arachne said, clearly disgusted. “You make it look as if we’re one and the same as those animals.”

Bellova couldn’t help but agree silently with her. She hated that Coriolanus had done so much to promote Lucy Gray, even going so far as to touch her. Had he forgotten that he was of the purest Capitol blood, only fit to associate with those who also held that status?

“Coriolanus didn’t show those people anything they didn’t already know.”

Bellova had to grip her textbook to refrain from throwing something at the young Plinth. He was being foolish, saying such things in the presence of the dean and the other mentors.

“I don’t need your help, Sejanus,” Coriolanus snapped.

“That the tributes are human beings. Just like us,” Sejanus continued. “That’s why nobody wants to watch the Games. It’s because people know deep down that winning a war ten years ago doesn’t justify starving people’s children, taking away their freedoms, their rights.”

“Shut up, Sejanus, please,” Bellova murmured through gritted teeth.

Suddenly, Dr. Gaul appeared, startling many of the mentors. Bellova looked at her, setting down her fountain pen.

“Snow fell down in the cage,” she began, smiling crookedly. “It fell down in the cage but it landed…”

“On stage,” Coriolanus finished.

The doctor grinned with delight. “You’re good at games. Maybe one day, you’ll be a Gamemaker like me.”

“If the Games continue at all,” Highbottom added.

“Oh, they’ll continue. With performances like young Mr. Snow’s in that zoo. And I came here to ask your star mentor a question: what are The Hunger Games for?”

This sparked an argument between Dr. Gaul, Highbottom, Coriolanus, and Sejanus. Bellova listened, intrigued. This was the most interesting thing that had happened during one of Highbottom’s lectures since the time Persephone and Arachne almost ripped each other’s heads off over a petty dispute. 

Coriolanus then proposed an idea, about making the games more “personal” for Capitol citizens. 

“We need them to invest,” he said. “And if we bend a few Capitol laws, we could even have them place bets. Look, I know Lucy Gray may not win in the arena. But if you give her a chance, I would bet the Plinth Prize that she can win people’s attention.”

Dr. Gaul looked at him. “I’d like you to write up a proposal of these thoughts tonight, Mr. Snow.”

“Wait,” Clemensia Dovecote spoke up. “You mean you might actually use his ideas?”

“If it’ll help the ratings, why not?” Dr. Gaul responded.

“Coriolanus and I are class partners, Dr. Gaul,” Clemensia said hastily. “We do all of our assignments together.”

‘Someone’s desperate for approval,’ Bellova thought, giving Clemensia a brief look of annoyance.

Dr. Gaul laughed, sending a visible chill through many of the mentors. “It’ll be an interesting test.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After the lecture ended, the mentors went straight to the cafeteria. They were buzzing with excitement at the idea that Dr. Gaul may listen to their suggestions. Having an idea approved by her could do wonders for their future careers.

Bellova stood in line holding a tray, eyeing the mint chocolate fudge in the dessert section. She loved mint. It reminded her of wintertime, her favorite season.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Coriolanus tapping her on the shoulder. 

“What do you want?” she asked.

Coriolanus scoffed. “Your perfect manners never cease to amaze me.”

Bellova sneered. “Funny. Now get to the point.”

“I’m going to sneak some food out of here and give it to Lucy Gray at the Zoo. I was wondering if you’d like to come with me. You haven’t met your tribute yet, after all.”

She raised an eyebrow at him, putting a few slices of bread on her plate. “Breaking the rules again? After Highbottom just threatened to write you up for insubordination?”

“You were the one who told me to do anything it takes to succeed.”

“Fair enough,” she sighed. “Fine, I’ll come with you. I’ll give my tribute some bread while we’re there.”

Coriolanus smirked. “Who’s breaking rules now?”

Bellova gave him a look. “I’ll see you at the Zoo, Coryo.” With that, she grabbed a stack of mint chocolate fudge slices and walked off to join her friends.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later that afternoon, Coriolanus, Bellova, and a handful of the other mentors met up at the Capitol Zoo. They immediately made their way to the monkey exhibit, where the tributes were being held. Nodding at the Peacekeepers surrounding the area, they stood inches away from the bars keeping them separated from the district children.

Bellova scanned the exhibit and eventually spotted her tribute in the corner. “Velvereen!” she called. The girl made her way over to the bars, looking at Bellova warily.

“Who are you?” she asked.

“I’m your mentor, Bellova. Here, I brought some bread for you.” She held out the napkin to Velvereen, who took it instantly. “I’m sorry I didn’t come to visit earlier. I have a busy schedule.”

Velvereen said nothing, focusing on wolfing down the bread. 

“So,” Bellova continued. “Have you talked to any of the other tributes?”

“Not besides Facet,” she said, pointing to the male District 1 tribute. “Oh, and the singer girl. The one with the strange dress.”

Bellova glanced over at Lucy Gray, who was talking very intimately with Coriolanus. She fought back a look of irritation. Lucy Gray was certainly a spectacle, but she was clearly deranged. She couldn’t understand why Coriolanus was so fascinated with her, other than her extremely strange behavior. 

“I see,” Bellova said. “Well, I promise to visit more often if I can. My advice to you is to make allies. The more that you have, the better your chance of survival is.” 

Velvereen nods. “I know. That’s what my father told me.” 

Bellova gave her a small smile. “It’s good to know that you have a basic understanding of strategy.”

She looked to her left, and saw Arachne taunting her tribute with a glass bottle. “Arachne!“ she hissed. “What the hell are you doing?“

“Shut up, Bellova!” Arachne snapped. “Mind your own business.”

“Fine!” Bellova snapped back. She and Velvereen continued discussing the Games. She was thankful that her tribute was willing to converse, unlike several, who refused to interact with their mentors. But as much as she tried to focus on her tribute, she felt her eyes wander to Coriolanus and Lucy Gray, who seemed to be enjoying each other’s company. It seemed as if her odd charms were beginning to rub off on the young Snow as well. If she hadn’t been surrounded by so many Capitol citizens, she would’ve been tempted to grab Lucy Gray by the hair and slam her head against the metal bars of the enclosure. 

Her violent fantasy was abruptly halted by a chorus of screams. 

Brandy, Arachne’s tribute, had grabbed her mentor by the neck and snatched the bottle from her. “Help!” Arachne shrieked, trying desperately to escape her grasp. Before anyone could do anything, Brandy smashed the bottle against the metal bars of the cage, and used the serrated edge to stab her in the neck. 

“No, no, no!” Coriolanus screamed, rushing towards Arachne, who lay on the ground, convulsing in pain as the crowd screamed frantically around them. He gathered the girl in his arms, putting his hand to her throat, trying to stop the blood flow. “It’s okay. It’s okay. Hold on. Hold on!”

Arachne gasped for air, blood oozing from her neck. Bellova crouched down at her side, turning her head to face her.  “Hey, look at me. Hey, hold on! It’s okay, you’re okay. I’ll get help, I promise.” 

“Somebody help us, please!” Coriolanus yelled at the crowd. 

Chaos erupted, making the whole scene a blur. Brandy was shot by Peacekeepers, falling to the ground with a thud. The other tributes were screaming wildly, ducking away to avoid getting caught in the crossfire. 

Coriolanus and Bellova were eventually dragged away from Arachne, who was lifted onto a stretcher. They were escorted by Peacekeepers out of the Zoo and back onto Academy grounds. Once inside a quiet hallway, they collapsed onto the ground side by side, finally able to process what had just happened.

Bellova, who almost never showed any emotion besides smugness, anger, or contempt in Coriolanus’s presence, began to cry. Her head swam with terror and disgust, the sight of Arachne’s slit throat burned into her mind. She was never close to the girl, she found her to be shallow and hated her whining. But they had grown up together. She was part of the Capitol’s finest, meaning they had attended several events together over the years and visited each other’s homes regularly. And now, she was gone. 

“I should’ve done more to stop her,” she said, voice trembling uncontrollably. “She was being stupid, and I just let her keep doing it! Her blood is on my fucking hands! It’s all my fault!”

“Don’t blame yourself,” Coriolanus spoke up. “Blame the district girl. She was the one who did it.” 

“I know, I know,” Bellova cried, black mascara running down her face, ruining her perfect face of makeup. “But she’s dead too. I can’t even avenge Arachne by killing her. There’s nothing I can do.”

Coriolanus, who had finally stopped shaking, pulled Bellova into his side gently. He put his arm around her, rubbing soothing circles on her shoulder. “You’re safe now. This won’t ever happen again, the Capitol will tighten security tenfold.”

Without thinking, Bellova leaned into Coriolanus’s grasp. He patiently let her cry into his shoulder, while he tried to help steady her breathing. The two young students clung to each other, forgetting all of their past grievances in that moment. 

When they finally pulled away, they looked at each other, as if they were stunned at their own actions. Neither of them were affectionate towards each other, or affectionate people in general. Yet here they were, sitting on the cold marble floor of the Academy, comforting each other. 

Bellova cleared her throat. “We should probably get out of here. Let the administrators know that we’re going home early.” 

Coriolanus nodded, standing up and holding out his hand to help her up. Bellova took it, smiling ever-so slightly. 

“Thank you,” she said quietly. 

“Of course,” Coriolanus replied. 

They informed the staff that they’d be departing early. Nobody tried to stop them, understanding that they’d just been through a traumatic event. They walked down the steps of the Academy’s main building, standing near the curb.

Finally, Bellova broke the silence. “Let me take you back to your apartment. My driver will be here any minute.” Before Coriolanus could protest, she said, “You’re in no condition to walk that far. I know you always say you walk to and from school to clear your mind, but just let me do this for you. Please?”

“Fine,” Coriolanus said reluctantly. 

As they sat in the back of Bellova’s chauffeur’s car, neither of them said a word to each other. The death of Arachne had clearly rattled them both to the core, but they couldn’t bring themselves to talk about it. It still all felt like a nightmare. 

Bellova took a small compact and handkerchief out of her bag, using the cloth to wipe away the black stains her tears had left behind. She pressed some foundation over it, erasing any evidence of a breakdown. 

Coriolanus watched her, realizing that he’d likely never see her this vulnerable again. He was still surprised that she didn’t slap him for embracing her. They certainly had a unique relationship. Often times they were at each other’s throats, occasionally they exchanged words of advice and encouragement. But nevertheless, he didn’t want to see her so hurt. She was…a friend? A companion? Something other than a stranger, for sure. 

They pulled up outside of Coriolanus’s apartment complex, and Bellova’s driver opened the door for him. 

Coriolanus turned to Bellova, who was staring down at her hands. “Thank you for the ride. I appreciate it.”

“Don’t mention it,” Bellova said, looking up to give him a small smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Coryo.”

“See you tomorrow, Bellova.”

And with one last nod, Coriolanus shut the door behind him, returning to his run-down apartment where Tigris and Grandma’am were waiting.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

TAGLIST: @daenerysqueenofhearts, @squidscottjeans, @euphemiaamillais, @gracieroxzy

Author’s Note: This chapter was a lot longer than the last one lolll I really liked writing this part because things become a lot more intense. Let me know in the comments what you think and if you’d like to be tagged!

[talkshowboyluvr]

heres a brief analysis of both book and movie treech in my writing and why i portray him the way i do :)

i have VASTLY different understandings of treech compared to the majority of people i've seen but since like... 5 people here know me on ao3 i want to explain how i write him and why.

despite how awfully the movie did represent him in comparison to the books, i think when you boil both versions down, they share some core similarities. but, they have one KEY difference — his violent nature.

starting with book treech, the three main aspects of him that i like to portray is his kindness, intelligence and his immaturity.

book treech juggles in the zoo and decides to kick his feet on the scoreboard, two things that i believe depict a sort of childlike innocence. treech's age is never given -though i do agree he's probably around 16/17 - but, his actions illustrate that in situations as dire as the hunger games, even tributes who are clearly able to kill hold the characteristics of a younger person.

his intelligence is shown throughout his game plan in the arena. much like foxface, treech spends the entire time hiding and taking rations from other tributes. this is a tatic that relies heavily on smarts instead of brute strength. this is one of the main reasons i wrote him to want to be teacher in allies or enemies in the arena.

treech's kindness is mostly shown through his death. in the books treech dies due to lucy gray throwing herself into his arms and hugging him, which he. sort of returns? either way, i think his weakness clearly being a literal embrace coveys how he wanted comfort instead of violence. even in his last moments he bashes the snake to death instead of lucy gray. so, in show your fangs i made sure to get it clear that treech was a SWEET boy, put in an awful position that took no pleasure in killing.

i tend to focus on movie treech's vindictiveness, cowardice and empathy.

treech's empathy is shown through his reactions to lamina and tanners deaths. in the movies his reaction to laminas death is clear - regret, guilt and such. and with tanner though its more muted the same is felt as, treech takes the trident out of his body (something I wrote in from eden and fire behind his eye to be to let him bleed out faster and be in less pain) and looks mournful when he looks at tanners body.

treech's cowardice is illustrated through him abandoning lamina. now, it's clear he didn't wish to leave her, however he's rightfully fearful about the consequences not going with coral could have. is it completely understandable why he left? absolutely. is it still something that stems from a lack of bravery in the situation? yes!

treech's vindictiveness is portrayed through his seeming hatred for lucy gray. this is where his character varies the most from the book — movie treech is very violent compared to the book. he seems to hold a grudge against lucy gray (something i believe is due to laminas death happening because lucy gray got away, then tanners happening because she smashed the water) and actively targets her, along with coral.

to me, movie treech can be borderline classed as mentally unaware towards the end as he seems to lose himself after laminas death, becoming completely involved with killing, instead of only following instructions as he had been prior.

obviously the major difference between book treech and movie treech is him joining the pack, however i think this can relate to book treech if you look at through the lense of him being coward. he is a coward in the books, as he completely stays away from any confrontation until he knows the other tribute is weak enough for him to take and movie treech is simply fearful of the target it puts on his back.

i often make jokes about book treech and movie treech being two completely different people, however the only difference i say that truly comes from his personality is his violent nature and sadistic enjorment in the movies.

my work that focuses on book treech — work song and show your fangs — definitely makes him a teenager who is fearful of the games and is lucid throughout the arena and has his own panics about morality and his want to go home.

my work that focuses on movie treech — a fire behind his eye and from eden — are more or less depictions of a mentally ill teenager losing his mind. (and him being autistic, but that's more a projection.)

thats all! <3

[whatitshouldvebeen]

Hiii so I’ve been really into Coriolanus Snow lately 👀 and I was gonna ask if you could write a version of the end where Lucy Gray runs into the wilderness to leave Snow but Snow catches up to Lucy Gray and his possessiveness over her becomes worse after that moment. Maybe he incapacitates her to make sure she can never leave him again. Also I love love love your writing 🫶

Writing this makes me want to write more in first person, Coriolanus is absolutely off his rocker. I might continue it depending on it's reception!

A Bird in the Hand

Contains: blood, pure insanity, and physical harm

•••

I just shot Lucy Gray. 

My ears are ringing and it still isn't loud enough to drown out the mockingjays.

She stumbled here. I swear, I saw it. Venom sends pain all through my arm. Am I going to die? How could she do this to me?

“Lucy Gray!” I don't even realize I'm screaming her name. 

It's too early for katniss. The leaves are still wet, sticking to my hands and knees as I search for proof that…

I just shot Lucy Gray.

I hear her everywhere and nowhere. My beautiful songbird. You're hurt. 

Red on the ground, a splatter here and there. Leaves crushed in my hands. Spread on my gun. 

How many kills before I lose track?

“Lucy Gray!” My throat is sore and my heart is beating out of my chest. I scour the ground like a dog. Desperate. Feral. A scuff here, a stumble there.

The ringing gets louder. The birds are a cacophony of her. It's beautiful, it's maddening. Just like,

“Lucy Gray!” I scream as I chase her trail. Her blood is my lifeline. Why did she make me do this? 

Then, through the madness, 

“Corio…” 

A pained whisper, softer than wind through grass. There's a tangle of roots, a splatter of blood, and a torn piece of fabric.

My heart beats twice as fast as I race down the hill, sliding over soggy leaves, tangled thorns digging into my skin. The venom reached my heart and it's spreading everywhere, a wildfire in my veins.

There she is.

Spread about the fallen leaves—wavy black hair, bright dress now stained with blood, skin drained of its warm hue—a mosaic of macabre colors.

“LUCY GRAY!” My voice cracks as I race to her fallen form. She's so beautiful, my angel. 

Her eyelids flutter when I pull her into my arms. Fragile little bird. I brush her hair from her sweaty forehead and press my fingers against her neck. Her pulse is so faint, cold dread quenches the fire in my veins.

I search for the source of the blood. A hole in her calf, leaking still. Her dress is already torn, what's one more tear? I rip off a length of fabric and tie it beneath her knee.

“You can't leave me, Lucy Gray,” I whisper, cradling her close.

Her eyes flutter again and meet mine, hazed with pain. I don't hear her speak, but I feel her question sear into my brain. 

Why?

“Why? You know why, Lucy Gray. You always knew. You belong to me, but I don't belong out here with you. I never have. You know what I did to save you. I love you, why don't you love me enough to forgive me?”

She doesn't respond. Her eyes are vacant, staring up at the mockingjays that rain torment from above.

The venom in my veins is subsiding now, or perhaps integrating with my blood. I can still save us.

I rise from my knees, holding my beautiful Lucy Gray. 

If I can forgive her, surely she will forgive me. We have both hurt each other, but love conquers all—right?

Eventually I reach the cabin. I lay her on the bed, and press a kiss to her forehead. I need to find help, and I know she can't possibly leave me in this condition. It's ironic how, in this moment, I feel more secure in our love. 

If I didn't love her, I wouldn't have saved her. She needs to stop running from me. If she had only stayed where I could see her, I would have never needed to shoot her. 

A cool serenity washes over me as I look down at her weakened form. This is better for us, isn't it? She's so beautiful, she needs me so desperately. Yes, I need her to need me. 

I don't flinch as I approach her bedside. We need this, don't we? We need stability, and we can only have it if I can keep her safely under my control. And in order to do that, she has to stop leaving me.

I trace my hand down her bloodied leg, to her thin and fragile ankle. I can do this with my bare hands, can't I? Yes, it'll be easy. She's a bird, their tiny bones snap like twigs. 

One deep breath.

CRACK!

She doesn't even flinch. Her foot hangs at an unnatural angle.

Once more, for good measure. One hand on her heel, the other over the arch of her delicate foot. 

CRUNCH!

Her foot is mangled now, twisted, her tiny bones splintered like so many fragments of wood. 

A small smile flits over my lips. 

No one said love wasn't painful. 

[burningsalamander]

          Headcanon: 1 of ???

          Natsu’s mental health has pretty much stunted his emotional growth at a young age.   After losing Igneel at such a young age,  it left him with extensive abandonment issues that he never truly sought care for,  or even bothered many with.  Natsu hangs on close to the friends he keeps around because of this fact.  He’s afraid of people leaving him,  or losing them completely.  Fairy Tail was his refuge from his own feelings,  knowing that everyone around was accepting of him and any baggage he had,  he rarely thought to express his abandonment to anyone.  He felt comfortable,  and would never burden anyone else with his own feelings or be a downer,  knowing others have it much worse than he ( Erza,  Gray,  Laxus,  etc ).

          On top of ingrained abandonment issues,  Natsu suffers from PTSD from Grand Magic Games and Tartaros.  Watching Lucy perish,  missing the opportunity to save her,  it broke him.  Even if it was a Future version of her,  every Lucy was Lucy to him.  His best friend,  cut down before him.  It nearly tore the boy asunder.  Even after the battle,  defeating Future Rogue,  those wounds held deep within.  The ‘ X ’ shaped scar stood firm upon abdomen,  a grim reminder of what they’d gone through,  what he personally struggled with every day.

          His reunion with Igneel in Tartatos was arguably one of the best and worst moments of Salamander’s life.  A short lived hello,  followed promptly by a painful goodbye.  Seeing Igneel lose like that ... the most powerful person he ever knew ... cut down so easily.  It drove him crazy.   Anguish gripped the boy,  holding on and never letting go.  Tears continued to pour,  and all he could think to do was separate himself from everyone and everything.  Again,  not wanting to bother everyone with his own problems,  and wanting to get stronger on his own,  in order to be able to protect the ones he loves.

           After suffering two devastating loses of life,  because he was too weak or too slow to stop it,  truly messed with Salamander and led him astray.  He suffered from a severe depression afterwards.  It led him to escape and become stronger on his own,  regardless of anyone’s feelings about it.  He is selfish in some ways,  this being one of them.  

[bria-doublen-a]

Book Review: Things We Never Got Over

Non Spoiler Section

Alright. I’m just going to dive right in here. I hated—absolutely hated this book...until page 490. I’m new here, so if you don’t know, allow me to explain: I like to jump into books blind. I had no idea what I was getting myself into or really what the story itself was going to be like. I only knew that it was a romance and it was trending and I was like, heard that. Sign me up. I wasn’t expecting to hate my characters for the majority of the book.

But hang on, peeps. Bear with me a moment. If you’re anything like me and you don’t have any patience with cliched and unlikable characters, please listen to me when I tell you this: EVERYTHING HERE HAPPENS FOR A REASON.

These characters are meant to have annoying characteristics because we are supposed to watch them as they develop into a better version of themselves. Don’t give up hope! Hang in there, okay?

Without someone to hold my hand and give out kind and gentle encouragement, Lucy Score had me ready to rip my damn hair out. I was saying stuff like, “I can’t wait to tear this book a new one”, “I hate this book”, “I’m only gonna finish it so I can throw tomatoes at it and boo it off the stage”, “What theme are we even trying to preach here, Lucy???”.

Then I got to the aforementioned page 490. Everything suddenly made sense and I felt like an idiot. Because of course this author knows what she’s doing. Of course these characters were going to change. I’m astounded by how little faith I had in this book. I’m honestly so disappointed in myself.

I’m telling you all this because this book is going to frustrate you. Make you scream. Make you want to punch someone in the face. But believe me when I say I’ve never had so much fun in my entire life.

And more importantly, this story has a message that I believe everyone can benefit from. 100000% recommend.

Don’t think. Just jump. You won’t regret it.

Spoiler Section

OH. MY. GOD.

When, I say I hated Knox Morgan, I am not exaggerating in the slightest. He was rude. Arrogant. The biggest ass I’d ever met in my life.

I never quite understood the whole morally gray, grumpy/sunshine thing, but that’s just my personal preference. What I really hated about him was his refusal to develop. Even as we watched him fall for Naomi, we watched him stay stagnant for more than 75% of the book. That was a ballsy move, Lucy. I mean, truly. I was ready to give up on him.

Don’t get me wrong, Naomi got on my nerves a hell of a lot too. The instant perfect-mother thing she switched on the second she met Waylay (literally the second) was so annoying. Like we found Waylay in the motel room and Naomi’s already giving her shit about her potty mouth. Like girl, if you don’t build some rapport first. Ugh, I’ve never rolled my eyes so hard before. But then I realized that was all part of her development and it made all the weird, awkward scenes with her and Way much more tolerable because I knew Naomi was going to learn something.

By the way, I think it’s worth saying that Waylay is the only reason I pushed through. I loved her instantly and I pushed myself to finish the book because I wanted to see her get a happy ending. Because by this point, I’ve already decided that I hated both Naomi and Knox. Without Waylay, I don’t think I would have finished this book, not gonna lie. Of course in hindsight, I can say the journey was worth it, but my god. I thought about quitting so many times.

Naomi’s and Knox’s relationship (or friends-with-benefits-ship) felt like a trauma response. Knox was so horrible to her, from the very beginning. I can forgive a little snarkiness and sarcasm for the sake of a romance novel, but he really wasn’t cutting her any slack. Personally, I don’t understand how she caught feelings for a man that antagonistic towards her.

Technically, Naomi even said it herself. She felt like she was making a hard turn from the perfect guy she was about to marry to the douche-y guy who claims she’s a pain in the ass, but continues to insert himself in all her business. He might be sexy and have that whole nothing-can-penetrate-this-wall thing going on, but he was constantly degrading Naomi and making her feel bad for second guessing and wanting to dissect things. But when he’s constantly playing hot and cold, saying he wants no attachments and then proceeding to do things that definitely create attachments, how could he blame Naomi for wanting an explanation??

And when he finally admitted his feelings to himself and broke up with her???

Y’all, I was pissed. I threw the book down, folded laundry, took a shower and painted my nails. And my heart was still pounding with rage.

And then for him to still act like such a demanding douchebag and accuse her of being irrational? Bro. Knox had officially put himself on my shit list. I had about a hundred pages left and I knew—I just knew that Lucy was going to somehow put these two back together for the sake of a happy ending knowing DAMN well that Knox is undeserving. He would buy her some stupid giant coffee or get her flowers or perform some other act of idiotic grovelling and Naomi would be just as stupid and take him back.

Then, I turn to page 490. And I realize that Lucy is not stupid. This ain’t her first rodeo. We were meant to hate Knox and Naomi’s relationship. It was meant to be toxic af. Knox opened up, but they were able to admit that they just wouldn’t work and then I finally realized the meaning of the title. There are just some things a person never gets over. And Knox’s fear of intimacy was one of them. At this point, I believed that the book would end without them getting together. That we weren’t going to reward shitty behavior

But then the unexpected happened. I’m actually kind of on the fence with the last fifty or so pages, but I mean it was fast paced and interesting in ways that I truly didn’t expect so I mean...that’s something I guess. Tina finally made her appearance and I was actually kind of glad she wasn’t just a straight up asshole. I mean, don’t get me wrong. She’s an asshole. But she’s not a to-hell-with-my-kid, I-don’t-give-a-crap-what-happens-to-her kind of mother. She still worries for Waylay’s safety it’s just a matter of she doesn’t really know how to keep her safe or how to stay away from settings that would put her in danger. It’s believable which is why I liked it.

Then Knox saves the day (because of course he does) and he finally gets the kick the ass he needed to acknowledge Naomi as more than a fuck-buddy. I don’t know, like as a reader I’m happy that they get the opportunity to try out a real and healthy relationship. But as someone who also knows a thing or two about storytelling and character development, I can’t help but think it was kind of a fast turnaround. Even if there had been more time in between that scene in the office where Knox talks about his dad and saving the girls, I think I would’ve been happier.

But all in all, with all the drama and the scares and the guns waving and evil twins evil twinning, I’m just so relieved that Naomi and Knox finally get a WIN. All that toxic relationship crap was honestly so exhausting and it really is a relief to see a happy ending.

And I have to commend any writer who’s capable of making me do a hard 180 like that. Even if I don’t agree with how the book ended, I still love these characters a hell of a lot more than when I started.

Well done, Lucy. Well done.

[petri808]

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

@thenaluarchive Nalu Week 7-part story

With almost a week and a half under their belt, the four friends decided to have a lazy day with each doing their own thing. Levy’s boyfriend Gajeel finally had his day off from work and had driven over from Hilo to visit. So, he and Levy took off after lunch to cruise around the west side of the island. Maybe take in a movie at the Keahou theaters and dinner at one of the Kona restaurants. Around the same time they left, a friend of Gray’s named Loke picked him up to hang out and go surfing at a beach called Magic Sands. It wasn’t always the best place to surf, but it was king tides season so the waves were a little bigger than normal.

That left the newly established couple to their own devises.

“That’s a loveseat.” Natsu remarked at the theater’s seating. “A leather loveseat!”

“Well,” Lucy chuckled, “it’s called a luxury cinema for a reason.”

“And they bring our food to us?!” He plops down on the leather chair. “Sweet!”

Why do a Netflix and chill at home when you can get restaurant quality food and a movie theater experience combined? Waikoloa Luxury Cinemas at Queen’s Marketplace and their restaurant The Bistro offered such an experience with meals delivered during the previews. As the lights came down, and food been taken care of, Lucy snuggled up to Natsu. He put his arm around her shoulder and leaned his head against hers, settling in for the movie.

Although things still felt a little awkward, in truth… it really wasn’t. They’d been friends for two years, close friends for almost one, so spending time together was nothing new— just the cuddling part… which had been getting easier over the last couple of days. Lucy’s heart would still skip a beat at his touch, but she didn’t lose her composure as badly. Natsu for his part never pushed and allowed her to gain confidence in their new relationship on her terms.

After the movie ended, they walked back towards the condo. It wasn’t too far of a walk along tree lined sidewalks. They’d passed King Shops, another small shopping center. A golf course on one side of the road, condos and hotels on the other. Every so often Lucy would point out any historical sites, such as a field of ancient petroglyphs that had survived. When they reached Anaehoomalu beach park, the couple decided to take a detour.

Natsu took hold of Lucy’s hand as they walked the sandy white beach between the Hilton Waikoloa and the Waikoloa Marriott. Visitors were sparse on this work day, giving them a peaceful time just listening to the waves and enjoying each other’s company.

“I don’t remember the name,” Lucy pointed to an area between the beach and the Marriott, “but those are ancient fish ponds that the hotel helped to restore. It’s like the Hawaiian version of aqua farming.”

As they got closer, Lucy continued pointing out different features such as wooden slats that allowed water and baby fish to flow in from the ocean, but trapped the fish once they’d grown bigger in the ponds. “If you look closely there’s always eels,” she explained as they leaned over the rock wall that lined the pond. And sure enough, after a couple minutes Natsu could see a few popping they’re heads out of cracks.

They spent some time on the beach before heading to the condo once it got closer to dinner time. When they arrived back, no one had returned yet, so they stayed out on the patio to watch the sunset. It was a partial view of the ocean from the condo, but enough that one could watch the day slowly turning into night. The skies turned reddish orange, while the sun gained a slight greenish hue as it slowly sunk below the horizon.

“You’re hair looks like it’s on fire,” Natsu commented as the suns darkening rays bounced off of Lucy’s golden blonde hair.

Lucy blushed and tucked her hair back out of nervousness. “Really?” She asked sheepishly.

“Really,” Natsu smiled and squeezed her hand.

“I um…” Lucy started to speak, then stopped and kissed him instead. Just a quick one, as her eyes continued to communicate something else and her body leaned in closer.

Taking the hint, Natsu moved in, turning fully towards her while pulling her almost onto his lap. His fingers tangled into her crown as Lucy made moves of her own to wrap her arms around his neck. They’d forgotten all about the sunset. Their lips too wrapped up with one another’s in a full-blown make out session.

“I could…” Natsu mumbled between the kisses, “stay like this forever…”

Lucy sighed, “me, too.” Once the floodgates had opened, she started to realize just how much she’d really fallen for the man.

But the sound of keys and a door opening, eventually broke the spell.

“We should stop before…” Lucy grumped.

“I know,” Natsu sighed. “For now.”

“Before they tease us.” Lucy added.

He placed a hand on her cheek and gently smoothed his thumb over the skin, “do you really care?”

“Mmm, a little…”

“Pfft.” Natsu stood up and pulled her with him. “Then let’s hide in the bedroom,” he teased with a glint in his eye.

That made Lucy giggle as she squeezed his hand in return. They quickly ran past a surprised Gray to the upstairs bedroom and locked Lucy’s door.

“Well, guess I get the room to myself tonight,” Gray chuckled as he headed to his room. “But keep it down!” He yelled as he passed by theirs.

“Too bad, snowflake!”

Eh, they’ll be fine…

[juviaafullbuster]

IN EVERY UNIVERSE

"JUVIAAAA"

He should have known. He should have seen it coming the moment he heard that blue cat call out her name. Of course nothing good would come from this. That stupid cat, exceed, whatever he is, was raised by Natsu after all.  But he didn't think much of it when he saw him flying towards Juvia, who was currently sitting with the other girls and landing in the middle of their table.

"Yes Happy?"

"Remember what I told you when we came back from Edolas?"

Happy was wiggling his tail excitedly, while trying to hold back from spilling the information immediately. After all, he lives for the drama. Juvia on the other hand was just looking at him, confusion written all over her face.

"Juvia isn't following.."

"You know, about the Juvia in Edolas and how the Gray there is obsessed with her.."

"Oh yes! Of course Juvia remembers that! The other Juvia is very lucky.."

"Yeah, and guess what? She got even luckier. Turns out they've got-"

"HAPPY!"

Gray had to stop him before he spilled too much. Why were they on the other side of the hall anyways? Juvia was always stuck to him whenever he came back from a mission. Why did she have to abandon him now of all times?

"What is it Gray? I'm busy delivering information."

"If you don't shut it that's the last information you'll ever deliver."

At that Happy visibly gulped. Gray was sure he was considering whether it was worth taking the risk. He probably still remembered the incident where Gray had declared him his enemy. Gray himself didn't remember much of what happened, just that it wasn't his proudest moment when he woke up half naked on an island surrounded by strangers. Now however, he was glad it had happened. At least that cat knew what he was dealing with and wouldn't dare to finish that sentence.

"Hey popsicle, are you threatening Happy?"

This just keeps getting better. Of course Natsu had to get involved as well. All he wanted was to enjoy being back home and spending some time with Juvia. And he wasn't doing either. Really, the last thing he needed was Natsu and his damn cat to ruin things for him.

"I don't threaten anyone unless necessary. So if you want to save him from trouble, tell your cat to back off."

"I'M AN EXCEED!"

"Like I care. Point is, shut up."

"HEY, DON'T TALK TO HAPPY LIKE THAT!"

"Stay out of it, flamebrain!"

"IF HAPPY IS INVOLVED, I'M INVOLVED."

"Whatever.."

He just needed to get to Juvia. There was no need to participate in the conversation with Natsu. Not that you could actually hold one. It would always end in a fight and if that idiot doesn't shut up soon, Gray was sure that this will be the case today as well. So he decided to be the bigger person and ignore Natsu, no matter how much he was provoked. However Natsu didn't get the message.

"What's up with you?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're being weird lately. Happy noticed too, right Happy?"

"Aye!"

"I'm not being weird, what the hell are you talking about?"

"I think it's because he's jealous of you!"

"WHY WOULD I BE JEALOUS OF NATSU?"

"He did tell me what happened.. is it because he has more woman than you?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"You know, that snow woman. He had quite a lot on his side, you however just had-"

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

Like it wasn't bad enough that he was going to tell Juvia about their Edolas counterparts, she really didn't need to know about that whole woman in the depth of his heart thing.

"You're jealous of me?"

"Who's jealous of who?

"Gray is jealous of Natsu."

"Seriously?"

"NO!"

That's it. He's going to kill that cat. But first he'll have to deal with Natsu because he was costing him his nerves as well. So next thing he knew, they were throwing fists at each other until Erza forcefully stopped them.

"What is this about? Explain yourself before I pull out my sword."

"Grays being mean to Happy."

"That's because Happy is stupid! Probably got it from you.."

"SILENCE! Happy!"

"Yes?"

"Explain!"

"Well, Gray is being mean to me just because I wanted to tell Juvia about what we saw in Edolas. I don't see why he's so worked up over it, I mean I was just going to say that they're married."

"Who's married?"

"Gray and Juvia!"

Silence. The whole guild went silent. Well, except for Happys snickering. Gray could swear he felt his soul leave his body. He was certain he would never hear the end of it. After all, he could already feel the eyes on him.

"Gray and Juvia are married in Edolas?" It was Juvia who decided to break the awful silence. Happy nodded eagerly in response to her question.

More silence. Or as Gray would say, the calm before the storm.

"Is that true?" Juvia was looking at him with wide eyes. He knows her well enough by now to know exactly what was currently going on in her head. He could tell her imagination was going wild with wedding pictures. But she was clearly holding back from squealing, instead she kept staring at him, desperately waiting for an answer. Gray sighed.

"Yes.."

And then all hell broke loss. Mira was cornering him trying to find out as much as possible, while Cana kept adding her inappropriate comments. Elfman starting shouting something about marriage being manly, whatever that meant. By the time Gray had managed to escape from them Juvia was no longer in sight.

"Juvia?"

"She went outside, said she needed to cool down."  Lucy smirked proudly, making Gray fear her next sentence. "Good thing you're an ice wizard. Who else could cool her down?"

"Hilarious. I'm going outside."

"Of course you are."

Gray didn't bother reacting anymore. Instead he went to search for Juvia. The cold air outside hit him in the face. It wasn't until now that he realized how stuffy it was in there.

He distanced himself from the guild hall while keeping an eye out for his bluenette. He really had missed her during his mission and now that he was back, he wanted to spend as much time with her as possible. After all, he had finally acknowledged his feelings for her and after seeing their counterparts in Edolas and that vision he had been trapped in, it just made him long for her more.

Those feelings still freaked him out somehow. He wasn't aware that he was capable of feeling this much for someone. But Juvia had really broken down every single one of his walls. And he was really grateful for that. She was the one who kept pulling him back whenever he was close to the edge. She's his power to live, even though having admitted that so bluntly in front of her still got him all embarrassed. And her teasing didn't help one bit.

"Juvia!" He spotted her on a bench near the lake. She seemed lost in thought. When she heard his voice however, she immediately spun around.

"Graysama! Juvia is sorry for leaving so abruptly.."

"Don't worry about that. Are you okay?"

He sat down next to her. Usually he would leave a space between them, not wanting to give her any ideas. But things changed. And now here he was, sitting as close to her as possible, longing for her touch. Juvia smiled at him.

"Juvia is very happy that you're back."

"I'm happy to be back too. I.." He cleared his throat and looked away shyly. "I missed you."

"Juvia missed you too. Juvia was wondering whether you were doing alright, if you manged to stay dressed and whether the others bothered to pick up the clothes you discarded.." she kept talking but Gray was too focused on her beauty, wondering how he'd gotten so lucky having someone like her in his life.

"I want what they have as well." Gray had blurted out the thought before he could realize it.

"What who has?" Juvia questioned him. He could go back on his word, pretend he never said it. But what's the point? He was just making himself suffer by prolonging it. And he had promised her to be clear with his intentions once he got back, not that he got to finish that promise before he was swept back to Elentir. Point is, it was time for him to be honest.

"I want what Edolas Gray and Juvia have.."

"You want.. you want to marry Juvia!?"

"What? No!"

"No?"

This wasn't going the way he wanted it all. Gray sighed.

"One day."

"One day?"

"Yes, one day I'm going to marry you. But I think it's still a little early for that. To be fair, our counterparts in Edolas are older.."

Juvia just kept looking at him in disbelief. He couldn't blame her. It wasn't exactly his style to be so open and honest. They didn't start dating yet and he was already talking about marriage. Juvia had really impacted him..

"Listen. I want to be with you. Like Edo Gray is with Edo Juvia, like Fairy Nail Glen is with Fairy Nail Juvina.. I want Earthland Gray to be with Earthland Juvia as well."

"What's Fairy Nail? And who is Juvina?"

"That's a long story.. point is I want to be with you. I'm sorry I'm not as clear with my intentions as the other me. But that doesn't mean I want you less than he wants his Juvia.."

By this point Gray was a blushing mess. He couldn't bring himself to look at her, too afraid to see her reaction. He had literally just run her over with emotions.

"Graysama doesn't have to be sorry."

"Huh?"

"For not being as clear with his feelings. I feel in love with this version of Gray, the Earthland version. Juvia wouldn't change a thing about you."

Gray smiled at her. She was truly too perfect. How did she always know what to say? She seemed so calm and collected while he was literally trying his best not to freak out.

"And Juvia would like that very much as well. Earthland Gray and Earthland Juvia being together.." she was looking at Gray sweetly and he couldn't help the smile that took over his face.

"I promise to be the best version of myself for you."

"You already are."

They smiled at each other and Gray tucked behind the hair that had fallen into her face. He found himself leaning closer and he saw Juvia doing the same. He had just closed his eyes, just a little away from finally kissing her after thinking about it for so long, when a voice interrupted them, making them jump apart.

"Gray loves Juvia!"

"Quiet Happy!

"They are so cute together."

"About time he made a move."

How had he not seen them hiding behind that bush. He'll admit Lucy, Wendy and Charles were hidden pretty well, but Natsus pink hair and Happys blue fur were visible to everyone. And Erza hadn't even bothered hiding. He must have been too focused on the girl in front of him to notice. Said girl was now blushing furiously.

"I'm going to kick their asses.."

"Juvia thinks it's sweet that they're so supportive of you. You have a great team."

"How are they a great team? They literally interrupted a very important moment."

"Juvia knows.. but Juvia is very happy already."

"So you don't want me to kiss you?"

"Juvia didn't say that!"

He was truly enjoying teasing her. So much, he was able to ignore his friends presence. So instead of letting them ruin their moment, he leaned in and finally, after so long, kissed her. It took her a moment to react, but once she did, Gray felt like the luckiest person in the universe. He was never going to let her go.

"Juvia loves you very much."

"And I love Juvia very much."

He kissed her again, already addicted. His friends were cheering, probably happy that he finally made a move. He couldn't blame them, it took him long enough.

"All that because I told her about Edolas Gray and Juvias marriage. Imagine what she'll do when she hears about Greige.."

"Who's Greige?"

"HAPPY!"

♡♡♡

Here you have it, my contribution to Gruvia day! I hope you like it, let me know what you think :)

Also, I'm still fangirling over the drawing we got today. Maybe I'll write something about that too one day..

Anyways, happy Gruvia day! ♡

[beabaseball]

how many cats do you have what are their names what do they look like how many are little bastards???? cats are Too Good

Oh my god anon I hope you're ready for a long fucking post because right now we have 11-12 cats

Everyone but Luci, Fievel, and Junebug (who is our barn cat and who I dont have any pics of atm) are in some way bastard. So 9/12 score.

This is Rosie. She is one of the older cats now and was born in our barn. She's very smart but also unfortunately the current Queen. Reson for bastardry: picks fights to maintain pecking order, thinks that to win playtime you have to attack the hand holding the toy/does not believe in plato's allegory of the cave.

This is Aphid. Shes rosie's sister and recently went deaf, which was very frightening for her for a while but now she's not scared of the vacuum anymore so maybe this was a win. Reason for bastardry: Recently she didn't react at all to me mistaking her nipple for a tick, pulling her nipple, leading me to believe it was a deeply imbeded deer tick, and I became that customer from the "ma'am doesnt your husband have nipples??" vid.

Fievel, named after the mouse that got separated from its family, because we found Fievel a full day after all their siblings. She is very shy and also attracted to ears and will try to eat your hair once she's comfortable with you. Nonbinary cat?? Reason for bastardry: not a bastard.

The twins!!! We've joked about twin cats but these two are actually fucking weird okay. We tried to adopt them out with the other kittens I picked up at the cave but these two were a bonded pair and we couldn't find anyone to take them together.

Upper cat: Luci. Short for Lucifer, because he never figured out how to retract his claws. Ironically, is the only good cat in this house.

Lower cat: Smokey. He is a little bit fluffier than Luci and knows how to pull his claws in. He is also a huge bastard and 0 repentence. Reason for bastardry: pees in containers. Not on the floor!! Just containers. Like the dog bowls. Wants to put his paw on my face.

Susie (with luci in the background). This is Mom's Cat, because previously Susie thought everything in the world but mom was out to murder her, including me, who has known her literally her whole life. It took literal years for her to accept she liked petted. I say this with love: something mentally didnt happen in this cat, and only This Year after not murdering her when she needed to go to the emergency vet did we have a breakthrough. Reason for bastardry: pees on things she wants removed. Unfortunately, it works, reinforcing this behavior.

This is BC. it stands for "black cat", because when we got him we were running out of names. He has so many issues but has recently stopped thinking we are trying to steal his blanket when we try to shift blankets under him. Reason for bastardry: picks fights with literally everyone, for no clear reason. Stinky.

Trying to keep under the tumblr image limit, these four helpfully are cuddling. Right to left

Jane (has orange on her forehead): Fievel and Susie's extroverted sister. She is very cute and appears to know it. Reason for bastardry: a serial killer who admires the Stephen's Island Wren cat.

Max (orange cat): You know that post about how all cats are autistic? this one may in fact be the cat version of autistic. Has so many sensory issues, but has recently agreed to cuddling with humans. Obsessed with bringing socks downstairs. Once they're downstairs he doesnt care anymore. Reason for bastardry: normally is a good boy but suddenly will pee in corners and chase other cats. Sock theif!!!!

Oscar (gray tabby): named after the hot dog. The oldest cat currently. Wishes he was a mom very much but also hates new cats so it's a weird ride bringing kittens home. Probably has a neurological thing but we dont know what it is specifically, only that he Cannot Learn and the other cats tolerate the same behavior from him more than they do from others. Snuggle monster. Reason for bastardry: Steals my food!!!! Destroyed all chances for trainability in this house, because if the other cats see oscar is doing something, they can do it too, right?

Wobble (gray cat) : was picked up with our barn cat June, who was desperately trying to escape Wobble's company. Has probably mild cerebellar hypoplasia. She wobbles when she walks. No sense of personal space. Is the only one who can apparently communicate with Oscar, because they are both on the same wavelength. Nothing is going in behind those eyes but threatening elevator music.

Reason for bastardry: innumerable.

[livia-dovehallow]

Hello Sunshine of my dash,I was thinking on a scene on Herondale manor, where they visit Edmund and Linette and the kids are not very grown, and probably Will and Gabriel are bickering on which kid is more advanced in terms of walking , talking etc of the ones that are close in age, I think it can be cute and fun to write

I am so sorry this took so long but the scene manifested itself in my mind while I was going about my day today!

a love like no other

herondale-gray and herondale-lightwood families

year 1887

Nothing brought Cecily more joy than being surrounded by her family--especially when she had the rare opportunity for that family to include her parents at their home in Yorkshire. Here, like in Idris, the children had wide open fields and clean air to explode their young energy. The melody of childrens' laughter in the open air was everything Cecily needed for a moment of calm in her ever-chaotic world.

Her brother, however, often found a way to turn every family gathering into a bicker-fest with Gabriel.

"Lucie is such a quick learner," Will boasted from the long deck that led out to the stables. "Not even a full year old yet and she's dashing through the grass."

"All childern crawl quickly at that age," Gabriel said, waving him off. "Anna was crawling all about London then, too."

"Anna was also raiding closets and finding the weapons storeroom," retorted the other. "Care to boast about that?"

"Of course." Gabriel smirked; his method of calm bickering often made Will more agitated, which had always been Gabriel's intention. "A sign of a great Shadowhunter. She is naturally drawn to the symbol of our duty and keeping up with the fashion as she does."

Will scoffed and stood straighter. Cecily, from her position behind them on the rocker, holding her and Gabriel's newborn son in her arms, rolled her eyes at them. "Must you bicker about everything?" she sighed. "Even the children? They're cousins. They share blood. We should not compete them among each other."

"They share Herondale blood," Will pointed out.

"They are infants and toddlers!" Cecily scolded. She wanted to use her more authoritative voice, the one her mother always used when her, Will, and Ella had gotten into trouble of their own, but Christopher was soundly asleep, and she did not want to wake him from his peaceful slumber. "Bicker among your own faults, if you feel such a need to bicker at all."

"So you admit Gabriel has faults," was all Will answered, excited. Gabriel scowled at him.

"She chose to marry me," he snapped. "She was forcibly stuck with you."

"And it is because of me that she met you." Will made a disgusted face before turning back toward the fields, where Will's son, James, was waddling furiously alongside his sister Lucie, who was a fiend crawling through the fields, stopping at every flower. "Really, you should be thanking me, Gabriel."

"I don't thank you," Gabriel said evenly. "I thank your parents. Important distinction."

"Dad!" came a small, breathless voice. Gabriel's attention was immediately diverted to the miniature version of Cecily bounding up the steps. His demeanor entirely changed--from annoyance at Will to pure happiness. Gabriel dropped to a kneal and opened his arms just as Anna came crashing in. "Dad!" she exclaimed again, breathless and eager. "I found a duck!"

"Absolutely not," Will cried. "Absolutely not. Jamie! Lucie! Time to come back inside!"

Gabriel laughed and lifted Anna, standing with her squirming in his arms. "Next time, you should lead the duck back here to scare Uncle Will."

"Gabriel," Cecily scolded, but secretly she found the idea quite funny. She knew little James and Lucie were not afraid of ducks like their father was, and seeing a grown man flee from a small animal would have been a fun family outing.

"My children would never do such a thing," Will stated, flustered. "Tessa! We must bring Jamie and Lucie inside! Can't trust the ducks around here."

The door to the manor home opened, and in the opening stood Cecily's mother, wide-eyed and confused. "What is with all the yelling?" she questioned. "William, must you be so loud? Your nephew is sleeping."

"Christopher can sleep next to a frieght train and remain perfectly asleep," Will defended, though his voice was quieter. Behind him, Tessa climbed the stairs with Lucie on her side and James toddling beside her. "It is a side-effect of being a member of this family."

Linette Herondale paid no attention to her son's dramatics. She only looked around the deck and smiled, happy. "It's so nice to have you all here," she said with a distant, dreaming tone. "And the children."

"Nain," Anna said, with her small voice. "May we have cawl?"

Linette beamed at her granddaughter, who beamed back. Three generations of Herondale women, nearly indentical in appearance, stood on that deck with Cecily. "Anything for you, fy nghariad."

Behind her mother, Edmund Herondale appeared, looking healthier and happier than Cecily remembered her father being for much of her childhood. Cecily smiled, pleased to see him that way. In every way, he was always just as excited to see his grandchildren as her mother was. "Look at all you," he said with a laugh. "Standing out there. Come in before you all catch colds."

Cecily stood slowly from her rocker, ensuring that Christopher was still tucked in warmly and safely, when she felt Gabriel's hand on the small of her back. She looked up to find him, and Anna, smiling with bright eyes.

In the end, it didn't matter when Will and Gabriel got into their little squabbles. All that mattered to them, and to her and Tessa, was that their little ones were safe, healthy, and happy, growing up among their family. Never again would they be separated from their family, like their parents had been.

Only having children herself did Cecily come to truly appreciate the sacrifices and hardships her own parents went through to allow their children to be happy.

So she followed her mother inside for a nice, warm bowl of cawl.

[shadowhuntertrash]

tlh gang as funny first modern day impressions for @serene-victory-77

alastair - the first time alastair meets christopher he’s confused as to if he likes this kid or if he is annoyed. he meets him in their chemistry class. he goes through school with his head down because honestly he was really only there for good grades. when he was partnered with the infamous christopher herondale (yes his names was well known around school) he was slightly scared. christopher comes up to his table with a smile on his face and his goggles slight askew on his face. alastair is already leaning toward quirkily adorable. from the stories he’d heard christopher had a bit of a mad scientist rep, so he was happily surprised when christopher was less of a mad scientist and more of an evil genius. he did the experiment perfectly and then much to alastair’s horror, continued without any directions, going purely off his knowledge of the chemicals. when christopher was done he’d made a much more complicated version of the solution they were making and alastair was very thoroughly impressed. the teacher on the other hand, was not. they both got in trouble but alastair found he didn’t mind much. from then on out they were lab partners no matter what and it was quickly becoming alastair’s favorite class.

cordelia - the first time cordelia meets eugenia she thinks she is so badass. here’s this girl who could literally not give less of a fuck what anyone things about her. she has long curly hair that is either always down or put up into a messy bun. cordelia is slightly star struck by this girl who has just plopped herself down next to her in her ap calculus class. eugenia seems to bring a storm with her wherever she goes and immediately draws all eyes toward her. when cordelia looks at her eugenia just winks and crosses her ankles before leaning in slightly to ask if she has a spare pencil she could borrow. they became fast friends which surprised cordelia but literally no one else. they are very different but similar at the same time. cordelia is a badass but she is less obvious about it. she’s kind when she can be whereas eugenia doesn’t really stop to give anyone a chance to catch up with her unless she gets a good energy from them.

lucie - the first time lucie meets matthew is when he comes over to their house to hang out with james for the first time. at first he seems incredibly polite. he greets tessa and will with utmost grace and respect but lucie can tell it’s unusual from the way james’s face scrunches up in his tell tale expression of shock. she finds it amusing and decides to follow them for a while, matthew catches on quickly but instead of telling james they had a tag along he simply winks at lucie and pretends to lock his mouth and throw the key. she decides immediately that she likes this one. when they get to the indoor pool the first thing matthew does is push james into the pool. lucie couldn’t help but laugh which gave her away but when james went to tell her off and to get lost matthew pouts at james and said in an obnoxiously whiny voice, “jamie, let her hang out for a bit.” james turned to him and lucie was amazed to find them in a seemingly silent conversation before matthew smiled triumphantly and james groaned throwing himself back into the water as matthew gestured for lucie to come swim with them. lucie decides then and there that matthew by far her favorite of james’s friends he’s had over so far.

matthew - the first time matthew meets james is at detention. it would have been at debate but he had missed the first meeting for the club because his teacher had held him back to redo an activity he’d done completely wrong. he’d gotten detention that same period for disrupting the class (which was completely unnfair, he had just forgotten to take his adhd medicine so he was more restless than normal. when he walked into detention that afternoon there was only two other people there, neither of which he recognized. the teacher that was trapped into watching them was actually one of matthew’s favorite teachers, mr. lightwood (gideon lightwood, not to be confused with his brother gabriel who also taught there). about ten minutes into detention the door opened and one of the most attractive people matthew had ever seen in his entire life strolled through the door with a lopsided smile. mr. lightwood looked up and upon realizing who was there sighed heftily and shook his head. “again, james?” james just smirked wider and shook out his curly black hair, matthew’s stomach was doing a weird flip thing. ‘uncle gid, it really wasn’t my fault. the debate teacher just wasn’t seeing my side of the debate. he said my ideas were ‘crude and unnecessary’ but he was the one who asked what my opinion on dorian gray was. it really wasn’t my fault if she didn’t want a ‘mature’ opinion she shouldn’t have asked about a ‘mature’ topic.” mr. gideon simply shook his head but he was hiding a rather obvious smile. “go sit down, james.” with a confident smile he strolled over to where matthew was seated and turned to him with an outreached hand. up close matthew realized with another jolt to his stomach that james’s eyes were golden. “james, james herondale.” he said when matthew gripped his hand. matthew smiled widely. “matthew, matthew fairchild. i think we’re going to be good friends.”

thomas - the first time thomas meets alastair is his freshman year of high school. thomas will forever remember it vividly because alastair was the first person to really help him around school. he was so lost and he didn’t have anyone he knew so when this junior stepped up to show him around it was pretty cool. he was thoroughly embarrassed though because not only was this guy very very attractive but his friends were laughing at him. well not him, but thomas. alastair had waved them off and told him not to worry about them. he showed thomas to his classes and the main areas such as the library and the cafeteria. it was the first interaction of many but there were a few years until the next one. thomas never forgot his kindness and how he went out of the way to help the new kid, alastair never forgot either but for him it was more of a distant memory, the second time they met was the first meeting that left him with a lasting feeling.

james - the first time james meets jesse is when he comes to pick lucie up for a date. his immediate reaction is to evaluate if he is a good person and if he was good enough for his little sister. he held himself with an odd mixture of confidence and uncertainty. james had stood in the study with jesse for a while waiting for lucie to come down. jesse was fidgeting a lot which james recognized as anxiety which he himself had. he was slightly reassured by the fact that jesse was nervous. they were never really close nor did they ever become very close, seeing as james was practically always waiting for jesse to mess up or hurt his sister in some way. it lessened as time passed and jesse proved himself worthy in james’s eyes.

jesse - the first time jesse meets lucie it’s right in the middle of an epiphany in a story she’s writing. she’s been in a slump with really bad writers block for about a week so she can’t help her excitement when she finally has a breakthrough. jesse was sent by a professor (well professor herondale aka tessa the english professor aka lucie’s mom) to find her in the library to pass on a message and when he stumbles across a girl furiously tapping away on a laptop with a mad smile on her face and two pencils holding her hair up he is immediately enraptured. he goes to let her know her mom is looking for her but she simply tsks him and informs him that she simply cannot be disturbed and when he asks why she launches into a complicated plotline and jesse is so mesmerized that he can’t help but sit down and listen to an hour long rant about her novel and the characters. he misses his next to classes but if you ask him it was so so worth it. he soon becomes her person to rant to about intricately woven story lines and he can’t argue one bit. he was smitten from the first tsk.

christopher - the first time christopher meets cordelia he blows her up. well, nearly. he was experimenting and she happened to walk in right as his solution went awry. she had screamed loudly, more so from being startled than from injury but christopher had still rushed over to her and made sure she was unharmed. when he made sure that she was truly okay he apologized profusely and explained what he was doing and what he did wrong. she seemed genuinely interested which christopher immediately appreciated and he found he quite liked this girl. she was kind and smiled and asked questions when she was curious. there was no better way to get to his heart than by asking about his experiments (well, besides lemon tarts). every time they ended up staying for science after school he never failed to update her on his latest invention or experiment and she never failed to be attentive and curious. they worked surprisingly well together.

kamala - the first time kamala meets thomas is when she meets eugenia (her girlfriends) family. thomas was kind and the longer they talked the more he smiled and looked at her with an approving look. she had taken a liking to him almost immediately and had spent most of their time talking until eugenia interrupted claiming thomas was stealing her girlfriend to which thomas scoffed and rolled his eyes saying that there was no chance of that happening. kamala hadn’t understood the actual meaning of that until later to which she laughed until tears sprang to her eyes. eugenia’s entire family was kind and accepting but she knew she’d always have a soft spot for thomas and she did. she was always there for him and he, her. he became a brother she had always wanted and never gotten to truly have. eugenia complained but she couldn’t be happier with the outcome. 

eugenia - the first time eugenia meets grace she thinks she’s cold. she always has a careless and intimidating resting face and very rarely speaks to anyone as if they’re worth her time. eugenia’s blind reaction to having her on the cheerleading squad was not a good one and she worked her pretty hard until they finally talked and eugenia learned why she had so many walls up and why she was so cold. it took a while to unravel the mystery of grace blackthorn but they ended up being surprisingly good friends, especially considering they were both close to kamala. kamala being one of grace’s closest friends and eugenia's girlfriend.

grace - the first time grace met kamala she was in the locker room the cheerleaders shared with the dance team. grace had just gotten off a particularly cruel phone call with her mother and was trying her best to keep her composure but it was quickly slipping through her fingers. her throat was hurting from the strain of not crying and her eyes were burning suspiciously. she cleared her throat a few times in the empty locker room and almost jumped out of her skin when a girl poked her head around the corner with a concerned tilt to her lips. she had a kind face and it barely took a quiet, “are you okay?” for grace to break down completely. the girl had walked over quietly and bent down to grace’s level. grace wasn’t sure why but she felt like she had known this girl for a long time, it was a feeling of pure trust she had never felt before. there was something so calming about kamala, as she had introduced herself, that she found herself spilling things she’d never told anyone else. there was a lot left unsaid but enough was said for kamala to comfort her enough to get her to calm down. there was something so trust worthy about her that she found herself in the same situation a few more times in the weeks to come until they started to talk with no tears. it was definitely an odd friendship but they both valued it a lot.

[anarmorofwords]

I kinda wanna write a better version of tlh where Tatiana is still insane but there's no Belial bc that makes zero sense to me

In this version there would be:

Kamanna done correctly with actual genderqueer rep and not toxic relationships

Barbra and Oliver bc fight me she didn't die

Genie and Filomena bc I love them and all the lightwoods are queer

The gracelet doesn't even happen bc I refuse to write that

Grace is pretty much still the same but she breaks off their(hers and james') relationship bc she notices that he loves Cordelia

No bad James. He's not a shitty person to Alastair, and he doesn't treat Cordelia like a sex object

Anna puts a stop to Kellington and Matthew's relationship before it gets serious. She also tries to get him to stop drinking all the time

Alastair apologizes around seeing them again for the first time. The merry thieves are a little reluctant because of some of the things he did but they don't actively try to keep him away from events that they're at

Matthew notices how Alastair looks at Thomas and locks them in the sanctuary with Genie and Cordelia's help

Grace gets badly injured due to a mistake in necromancy and Christopher helps her treat it without letting people know

Lucie meets Jesse, and falls in love ofc, so in order to bring him back successfully she asks Malcolm to train her in using her magic

Matthew opens up to his mom about the incident. She doesn't blame him at all and instead apologizes for often putting her work before him

Matthew finds out about Charles and Alastair because he found Alastairxs break up letter to Charles

Matthew, the mother hen he is, decided to attempt to murder his older brother, only being stopped by James who had been there at the right time

Kamala ends things with Charles and tells Anna that she still loves them and hopes that she will give her another chance

Anna told her that they needed time to think, and that she is worried how Kamala's reputation will be affected if anyone besides their friends and Anna's family finds out

Kamala respects her decision and doesn't contact her until Anna's ready to talk about things

The merry thieves don't ignore Christopher and they actively listen and help him

The merry thieves also aren't terrible to Grace bc they realize she's been isolated alone with Tatiana and 1) she might not understand what's saying/doing is wrong or 2) that sometimes she's trying to push them away so her abilities don't accidentally make them do something

Good tid parents

James and Alastair being respectful to each other despite personal differences

Matthew, Alastair, Kamala, Christopher, and Grace being besties, or as I call them, the neglected squad

No fetishizing mlm/wlw

Domestic cuddles and taking care of the other one when they're sick

Jesse/Lucie/Matthew pairing bc I love them and I refuse to pick between lucie/matthew and lucie/jesse

Christopher teaching Grace the elements(at the time) on the periodic table

Tatiana dies at the end yay

It's very unpolished and I'm open to b hearing any feedback and/or suggestions that anyone may have

The idea came to me and I decided it would be best if I told someone before I forgot

hi, I'm sorry it took so long,but I wanted to properly answer this and I keep having either internet connection issues or little time

DON'T BE SHY, WRITE THIS 👀

In all seriousness tho... THIS IS ABSOLUTE PERFECTION?!? I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START I AM UTTERLY IN LOVE WITH THIS IDEA, I NEED IT

Look, I've been on the verge of rewriting ChoI, and I keep saying I want someone to write a TLH that will live up to its potential, but I've never actually came up with a proper idea for it, and you?!! YOUR BRAIN DARLING THIS IS GENIUS

ok hold up I'll just react to each and every single one so

yes please?!? I mean it started off so sweet in EEV?! Also actually genderqueer Anna and not dancing around the subject like CC is doing now?! That's what they deserve, and that's what we all deserve too

yesss please. also just,,,, Barbara, the feminine, not-wanting-to-fight-which-doesnt-make-her-less-badass queen that she is, getting the page space and appreciation she deserves

that's actually brilliant?!? it would be so great, just imagine the new girl arrives for her travel year and Genie is completely awestruck. I'm so invested in Joshwood it's difficult to imagine not having them, but this is actually the only valid alternative?!

ok that's fine. I think it could still happen and be done well, but tbh for now... the gracelet doesn't seem to have done anything relevant to the plot itself? I mean yeah it messed up James's life and Jordelia, but what did it give Belial? Tatiana? nothing. It makes no sense atm.

could be! maybe she's still encouraged by Tatiana to befriend/seduce him, but without the gracelet it doesn't work out? or maybe James somehow manages to realize that she's in danger and he actually like,,,, kidnaps her? idk idk

yes. YES. just,,,,z James is a sweet compassionate literature nerd who accidentally makes a good leader and he actually cares about people, and not just judges them from his high horse; he does still have hero syndrome, but he's kind and respectful and overall a good character

ANNA INTERVENES ABOUT KELLINGTON PLZ. PEOPLE ACTUALLY NOTICE MATTHEW'S STRUGGLES. JAMES DOES, TOO, BECAUSE THERE'S NO GRACELET.

ok yes, so what about: basically TMT don't harass Alastair and accept his apology, and realize they were also being stupid and mean at times at the Academy (especially Math). Matthew doesn't want to accept Alastair's apology, because of The Sin, but his behaviour alerts the rest of TMT and they inquire what's wrong and he tells them about the sin and that's how he later tells his parents (because his friends encourage him) and as you say, she just hugs him and reassures him it's not his fault; so after that Matthew slowly begins to heal and accepts it wasn't Alastair's fault, and also since they've kind of adopted/started including Alastair in things, he can't help but notice he's actually changed and he even starts to grow fond of him

then like you said, Matthew notices Thomas likes Alastair PLEASE HE SO WOULD. I'm not sure about the Sanctuary, if it actually happens (I'll get to why later on), but him and Lucie get really invested in the matchmaking schemes, they include Genie/Kamala because these two are friends with Alastair (both? Or at this point only Kamala?) but they also share some Moments during their scheming/talking about love 👀 (yes I'm a Fairdale shipper, I think it's time to expose myself lol)

Which leads me to (sorry I'm going off order rn) YES YES YES LUCIE AND MATH PLEASE. A FELLOW SHIPPER, HELLO, NICE TO MEET YOU. But since we're actually fixing him then we can give Jesse a personality and I'm totally down for poly Math/Lucie/Jesse

Lucie seeking Malcolm's help in secret, morally gray heroine style?!? no, it's probably not legal. but also has there ever been a Shadowhunter like her? If the Law doesn't expect such situations, it can't really forbid them...

Plz Matthew ready to strangle the carrot when he learns about their relationship, YES. sure, maybe he's still not the biggest fan of Alastair, but he's seen how much the boy's been through and starts to develop an attachment to him, and besides, NO ONE DESERVES TO BE GROOMED AND TREATED LIKE THAT. He's SO MAD at Charles, and he confronts him about it - remembering Kellington as he does, and it makes him sick to think his brother would do the same thing to someone. Maybe he gets very emotional over this and later finally tells his friends about Kellington? Maybe they didn't know before, only Anna did? So when they all realize what was happening then they comfort him etc? Or maybe it's just Alastair that learns now, and the others knew before, and they share a bonding moment over that?

Injured Grace seeking Kit's help is a genius idea I didn't know I needed

Kamanna giving each other time and space and deciding they need to question their relationship and figure out if it actually makes sense would be great. Anna realising she's very privileged and Kamala doesn't have those same opportunities, and also in general realising coming out should never be pressured or forced. Just,,,, Anna being self-aware and respectful towards Kamala. Well-written Anna. Plz. Also Kamanna is actually developed and not just "in love" because,,,,, they're attracted to each other? Maybe even remaining friends while Anna makes up their mind?

yeah just TMT being more compassionate and less judgy because they're not written by Judith so her bias isn't projected onto them

It's not a want, it's a need. They adopt Alastair and Grace eventually. Like, maybe not literally - although, Grace? - but you know what I mean.

I think they all should just have various friendship dynamics and switch between them, because people need more than one friend group

no fetishizing, no watching your brother make out with his lover, yessss

yes domestic cuddles, affection, taking care of wounds, all those things. plz.

Gracetopher bonding over science yes

obviously. or maybe she's imprisoned?!

ok, now for some more notes/my ideas etc., if you don't mind:

I actually think Belial could still be featured? After all, I don't think Tatiana could do much on her own, and since she seeks help from demons, it makes sense to include a Greater Demon as well. But Belial would have to be a stronger villain, written better; I'll think more about this

if that was the case, the serial killer plot could still happen, but be done better. and it would allow for a scenario I talked about with @littlx-songbxrd to happen, where it's Alastair who's falsely accused of murder. It creates a great opportunity to explore some things, because we know Alastair is much more likely to be seriously suspected, considering all the prejudices and bad rep his family has and all that

...what do you say to well-written Jordelia? 👀 Cordelia hasn't been obsessively in love with James since childhood, she only had a crush then. And now that they meet again, she's fond of him but not in love, not straight away. They're both grown up, and different people, but as they spend more and more time together, they fall in love. What if Cordelia gets to flirt with some other boys first? What then. What if she ends up choosing James, instead of going for the only boy she's ever had feelings for and idealized since childhood. What if we even make it friends-to-lovers and have James be a little jealous at some point?! but not in a possessive awful way, just "oh damn oh no"

Now I won't know peace until this exists BUT THANK YOU

[natsubeatsrock]

Should Hiro Mashima die?

My answer is no. 

Though, this isn't about actually killing Hiro Mashima. Kinda got you with the title, though, huh? (This was originally going to be titled “Is Hiro Mashima dead?” and released on his birthday. You’re welcome.)

This post is about a widely debated topic of analysis known as the "death of the author." I've talked about this a few different times in passing in a few posts over the years. You could argue that this belongs in my series rewriting Fairy Tail and I considered placing it there. However, I feel that it's better that I keep this detached from that series. This topic concerns criticism of any series. Naturally, being a Fairy Tail blog, I plan on engaging this with the context of Fairy Tail's author being dead or not, hence the title. Still, this is helpful to think about for analysis of plenty of other series.

Again, though, my answer is still no.

Let's start with the origin of this term. The term comes from an essay by Roland Barthes called "La mort de l'auteur". Use your best guess as to what that translates to. I highly encourage you to read the essay as it's pretty short. It's about six or seven pages, depending on the version. There are three main points to his essay.

Creative works are products of the culture they come from and less original than people expect. 

The idea of the author as the sole creator and authority of creative works is fairly modern. 

The author's interpretation of a work shouldn't be considered the main or only interpretation of a work.

Of these three points, I'm sure you recognize the last point. But first, I want to talk about the other points. I believe it is important to understand the arguments being made as a whole.

The first point should be fairly uncontroversial. The vast majority of creative works use established language, tropes, and elements to create a new thing. I wouldn't go as far as Barthes does in this regard. Not to mention, this is somewhat weird to know considering his third point. However, I agree that creative works should be considered products of the culture and genre they come from.

The second point is a bit trickier for me. To be clear, the point is true. You only have to look at various cultural mythologies as an example. There isn't a single version of the Greek myths. There are several versions and interpretations of the various stories and myths. 

Even recent popular fictional characters have had several different interpretations. This is especially true with comics. There have been multiple different Batman interpretations, Spiderman runs, and X-Men teams that fans love. Fans even love and appreciate numerous forms of established characters like Frankenstein's monster and Sherlock Holmes. So, as a consumer and critic of art, I can understand this.

My problem is as a creator of art. I understand this being contentious when it comes to something like religious myths. But, if I create something, I want to get the credit for it. I want people to love my music or writing. But I also want people to recognize me for my skill in crafting it.

This is true even if you hold to the first point Barthes made.  Even if you believe that no art is truly unique, isn't the skill of synthesizing the various tropes and influences around a person worthy of credit in and of itself?

Then again, I am not without bias in this. Barthes says that the modern interpretation of the author is a product of the Protestant Reformation. As a Protestant myself, I get that my background plays no part in my view of this. Barthes also blames English empiricism and French rationalism, but personal faith is the biggest influence on me that Barthes lists.

That being said, there's also something Barthes completely misses in his essay. In the past, stories were passed down by oral tradition. As the stories were passed down from generation to generation, they slowly evolved and became what they are known today. Scholars today can gather a general consensus of what a story was meant to be and some traditions were more faithful about passing traditions down than others. However, you can't always tell the original author of a mythological story the same way we know who gave us stuff like the Quran or the Bible. 

As time passed, stories were written down. With this, it was easy to share single versions of a story and identify its creator. We know who made certain writing of works even before the 1500s. For example, we have the Travels of Marco Polo and Dante's Inferno and know their authors. We could tell the authors of works were before the Protestant Reformation. 

By the way, the Reformation happened to coincide with one of the most important inventions in human history: the printing press. Now you can easily make copies of an individual's works and you don't have to rely on word of mouth to share stories.

I can't stress how important an omission this is. The printing press changed the way we interact with media as a whole and might be the most important invention on this side of the wheel. And yet Barthes doesn't even mention as even a potential factor in "the modern concept of the author"? In his essay about understanding written media? That’s like ignoring Jim Crow in your essay about Birth of a Nation bringing back the KKK.

Now, we get to the final point. The author's original intentions of their works are not the main interpretation. This is understood as being the case after they create the series. Once the work is written and sent into the public, they cease to be an authority on it.

It's worth recognizing how this flows from the other two points. Barthes argued that works of fiction are products of their culture and our current understanding of an author is fairly modern. Therefore, the interpretation of the reader is just as valuable as that of the author. As Barthes himself wrote, "the birth of the reader must be at cost of the death of the author." 

At best, this means that a reader can come away with an interpretation of a work that isn't the one intended. With Fairy Tail, my mind goes to the final moments of the Grand Magic Games. My view of Gray's line "I've got to smile for her sake" has to do with romantic feelings for Ultear. I don't know of a single person who agrees with this. Mashima certainly hasn't come out and affirmed this as the right view.

It's good to recognize that a work can have more meanings behind it than the ones intended by its creator. Part of the performing process is coming to a personal interpretation of a work. In many cases, two different performances will have different interpretations of the same work, neither of which went through the creator's mind. At the same time, both work and are valid.

That being said, there is an obvious problem with this: readers are idiots. Not all readers are necessarily idiots. But enough of them are idiots. The views of idiots should have as much weight as that of the creator. Full stop. Frankly, I maintain that idiots are the worst possible sources to gauge anything of note. (At the very least, policy decisions.)

I know this as a reader who has not been alone in misunderstanding a work. I know this as an analyst who has had to sift through all kinds of cold takes on Fairy Tail. (Takes that are proven wrong simply by going through it a second time. Or a first.) And I definitely know this as a creator who has to see people butcher my works through nonsensical "interpretations."

At the same time, the argument Barthes made comes with an important caveat. He also argued that works are the products of the culture and surroundings of the author. Barthes isn’t making the argument that author’s arguments don’t matter.

As far as I can tell, Barthes doesn't take this to mean that those influences are worth analyzing. Doing so would be giving life to the author. However, there should be some recognition that a creative work didn't come to exist out of nowhere. There's a sense in which Fairy Tail didn't just wash up on the shore chapter by chapter or episode by episode. It came to be as part of the culture it came from.

Now, you'll never guess what happened. Over the years, the concept of "death of the author" lost its original intent. Nowadays, people usually only care about the third point. "Death of the author" is only brought up to dismiss "word of God" explanations of work, after its release. I'd venture to guess that most people using the term casually don't know anything about its roots. I honestly don't know how Barthes would feel about this.

I can understand what might fuel this view. A writer should do their best to write their intended meanings in a work. It would be wrong of a writer to make up for their poor writing after the fact. I don't love Mashima's "Lucy's dreams" explanation for omakes. I know Harry Potter fans don't love the stuff J.K. Rowling has said over the years.

At the same time, my (admittedly Protestant) understanding of "word of God" and "canon" is that they have the same authority. After all, the canon IS the word of God. It is a small section of what God has said, but it isn't less than that.

Of course, it's worth recognizing that nearly every writer we're talking about isn't even remotely divinely inspired or incapable of contradiction. This understanding should cut two ways. An author should never contradict their work in talking about it. Write what you want and make clear what you want to. On the other hand, writers can't fit everything they want to in a work. I'll get to this soon, but their interpretation should be treated with some value.

By the way, people will do this while throwing out the other arguments made by Barthes in the same essay. People will outright ignore the culture and context that a work comes from in order to justify their views. Creators are worshiped and praised for their works or seen as the sole problem for the bad views on works.

What worries me most about this modern interpretation of "the death of the author" is its use in fan analysis. People seem to outright not care about the author's intent in writing a story. They only care about their own interpretation of the work. Worse still, people will insist that any explanation an author gives is them covering up their mistakes. Naturally, this often leads to negative views of the work in question.

This is just something I'll never fully understand. It's one thing if you don't like something. If you don't get why something happened, shouldn't your first move be to figure out what the author was thinking? Instead, people move to the idea that it makes no sense and the writer's a hack.

If all of this seems too heady, let's try to bring this down to earth. Should Hiro Mashima die so that his readers can be born?

Hiro Mashima is one of many mangakas who were influenced by Akira and Dragon Ball. He considers J.R.R. Tolkien to be one of his favorite writers. Monster Hunter is one of his favorite game series. He's even written a manga series with the world in mind. 

It would make sense to look at Fairy Tail purely through this lens. You could see Fairy Tail as a shonen action guild story. Rather than seeing the guild as a hub for its members, Fairy Tail's members treat those within it as family. Rather than focusing on one overarching quest, the story is about how various smaller quests relating to its main characters threaten their guild. Adopting this view wouldn't necessarily be an incorrect way to engage with the series. (Mind you, I haven’t seen this view shared by many people who “kill Mashima”.)

Though, there's more to Fairy Tail than the various tropes that make it up. If you were to divorce Fairy Tail entirely from its creator, you'd miss out on understanding them. There are ways Mashima has written bits of himself into the series. Things that go farther than Rave Master cameos and references.

My favorite example is motion sickness. I often think back to Craftsdwarf mocking motion sickness as a useless quirk Dragon Slayers have. It turns out that its origin comes from his personal life. Apparently, one of his friends gets motion sickness. He decided to write this as part of his world.

This gets to the biggest reason I don't love "death of the author" as a framework for analysis. I believe the biggest question analysts should answer is why. Why did an author make certain decisions? You can't do this kind of thing well if you shut out the author's interpretation of their own work. Maybe that can work for some things, but not everything.

I've had tons of fun going through Fairy Tail and talking about it over the past seven years. More recently, I've been going through the series with the intent to rewrite the series. I've made it clear multiple times in that series that I'm trying to understand and explain Mashima's decisions in the series. I don't always agree with what I find. However, trying to understand what happened in Fairy Tail is very important to me.

It's gotten to the point that I love interacting with Mashima's writing. I talk about EZ on my main blog. I can't tell you how much fun I've been having. I'll see things and go "man, that's so Mashima" or "wow, I didn't expect that from him." HERO'S was one of my favorite things of last year and I regularly revisit it for fun. It's the simplest microcosm of what makes each series which Mashima has made both similar and distinct.

Barthes was on to something with his essay. I think there should be a sense where people should feel that their views of the media they consume are valid. This should be true even if we disagree with the author's views on the series. But I don't know that the solution is to treat the author's word on their own work as irrelevant.

There's a sense where I think we should mesh the understandings of media engagement. We recognize that Mashima wrote Fairy Tail. There are reasons that he wrote the series as we got it and they're worth knowing and understanding. However, our own interpretation of the series doesn't have to be exactly what Mashima intended. We can even disagree with how Mashima did things. 

I know fans who do this all the time. They love whatever series they follow, but wish things happened differently. Fans of Your Lie in April will joke about [situation redacted] as well as write stories where it never happens. You love a series, warts and all, but wish for the series to get cosmetic surgery, or take matters into your own hands.

And who knows? It's not as if fans haven't affected an author's writing of a series. Mashima's the perfect example. I've said this a few times before, but Fairy Tail has gone well past its original end at Phantom Lord (or Daphne for the anime fans). Levy rose to importance as fans wanted to see more of her.

Could Mashima have done that if we killed him?

Before the conclusion, I should mention another way “death of the author“ comes up. People will invoke “death of the author“ to encourage people to enjoy works they love made by messed up people. Given everything we’ve said up to this point, that’s obviously not what should be intended by its use. For now, though, I do think that we can admit that we like the works of someone even if we don’t agree with everything they did as a person. (Another rant for another day.)

In Conclusion:

“Death of the Author” is an imperfect concept, but it’s not without its points. I don’t think we should throw out the author’s intent behind a work. However, we should be able to have our disagreements with the author’s views without killing them.

[kiliinstinct]

Have You Missed Me? // Nalu One-Shot

Inspired By the Recent Artwork by @fainttwinkling!! (Click Here For Image) One look and the emotions and situation between Natsu and Lucy just spoke to me, I had to write it out! Warning: Adult Content - You read that Right. Avert ye gaze if you’re a younglin’. Pairing: Obviously Nalu. Apologies for any spelling errors, I wrote this rather quickly and didn’t really take much time to edit. 

-- Tag List --

@pbfanart @cobblepottantrum @yuldragneel @bearpluscat @millennial-star-gazer @caandleworks @kaycha1989 @furidojasutin @eragonsoul @just-another-dream-girl @whatdidyasayiamdaydreaming @hanahathefluffydragon   @softscream @dlshieldss @ctay21 @acidrain1698 @lovelyluce @clockworkassassino @celestialwolf24 @unwei @jem-hamster-chan @melissa827 @meilynalu @littlejinxed @moonlitstargazerforever @trollka21

----

‘Have you missed me?’

Such a simple question with a loaded answer. 

A day had turned to a week. A week into a month. A month…. Into three. Too long, far too long. It was taking its toll on him. An obvious toll that everyone could see. It started subtly. His smile stopped reaching his eyes one day- the cackling laugh that erupted so often grew quiet: subdued. At one point, he didn’t respond to Gray or even Gajeel goading him to a fight. 

It was worrisome, but they all knew better than to force him. Natsu tried to live through every day as if nothing were wrong, but the longer Lucy stayed away, the harder it became. Jobs were easy. He went on one or two daily, even joined up with Erza, Gray and Wendy for a few that lasted a couple of days or more, but none would last as long as the one Lucy had been on and there was only so many days Natsu could pretend it wasn’t eating at him the longer she was away. They’d never been apart for so long, not since she’d joined the Guild- it was … an empty feeling he didn’t want to name. 

Natsu had taken to sleeping in her apartment on Strawberry Street. It wasn’t beyond the ordinary; the days spent staying at her place tripled the moment their relationship became official, but his days after she left had begun at his own home with happy. It had changed with time- the small house became devoid of sound as he and Happy moved their nights to the comfort of Lucy’s empty bed. 

The comforter smelled like her- a smell that couldn’t leave after so many washes or days away-  it eased his nights and made it easier, though they were full of nightmares. Had the job gone wrong? Was she okay? Countless nights finding her again and again, only for her to disappear in a multitude of ways: wounded, fading, dying, waving goodbye- versions were endless. He never spoke of them, but every guild member knew something was wrong when he came to the Hall, tired and dazed, falling asleep with his face smushed in the Fire Chicken placed before him. 

“- maybe you should get some more sleep.” Erza said, frowning pulling at her face while her arms crossed. “Making a mess is usual, but this is becoming ridiculous.”

“I’m fine.” He grumbled, face planted to the table, little specks of the earlier dish still covering a bit of his nose and chin. He’d wipe them off later. Natsu may have been pushing Erza’s button’s with that response, but even Gray tapped the wood next to him, chiming in with an opinion before the redhead could continue.

“Dude, serious,” He mumbled, scratched the back of his head, somewhat uncomfortable. “Usually I’d call you an idiot, but even I’m starting to feel bad. Either quit sulking or go back to bed!”

Natsu lifted a hand to give his fellow wizard a well-known hand signal that gave his opinion loud and clear. Gray smacked the hand and scoffed. “Fine. Suit yourself, you flamin’ idiot.”

“Is-.. is Natsu going to be okay?” 

“I said I’m fine!” Snapped Natsu, finally lifting his head to look towards Wendy, pulling a small grin. “Seriously guys, I know Lucy’s more than tough and will be back in no time, so can ya’ drop it?”

His answer came when Erza’s hand shot out, pinching his ear and forcing a loud yelp to escape him, “We’ll drop it as soon as you stop pathetically moping on the table,  and get some sleep!”

A grunt of pain, a few chuckles around the hall, and a wave to Happy was the end to his venture that day- effectively kicked out for rest. ‘Don’t you worry, Natsu!’ Happy had told him whilst he was shoved out the door, ‘I’ll hold the fort until you feel better and if Lucy comes back, I’ll even tell her where you’re at!’

Pfft, He thanked Happy with a pat to the Exceed’s head, but figured it wouldn’t matter. Lucy always liked to come home first and if that happened… well, he certainly wasn’t sleeping back at his place. Surrounded by so many memories somehow made his sleep even worse. Slinking through Lucy’s window, it was easy to flop onto the mattress, shuffle himself against the blanket and pillows and let his exhaustion over take him. Maybe once he rested, he could drag Happy off for fishing or another job….

Her scent was there again, overflowing his senses. Natsu’s tense muscles relaxed, sighing softly as the pillow and scarf effectively covered his tired eyes. He’d worry about shutting the window later (if he remembered)- for now he was more than content to slowly drift off. The ticking of a nearby clock reminded him vaguely of the emptiness in the apartment and he frowned, peeking one eye out into the dim light of her room. 

It wasn’t as fun without Lucy around…  he’d noticed it before, time and time again- the exhilaration he’d feel when they were doing things together: either playing a game, teasing or working- the world just seemed a little bit brighter. While his life was still bright, and his family there- somehow… things just felt…. 

“It’s all dusty.” He mumbled. With that word in the air, he sighed, allowing dark, tired eyes to slide shut, and waited for his tired body to give in. 

Lucy’s scent was overwhelming when he came to. 

It was everywhere, strong and musky- the sort of smell that followed her after a hard job or training. Usually she would shower immediately, claiming she felt gross and had to wash herself, but he never minded it. (It really wasn’t THAT bad of a smell- most wouldn’t even notice if they didn’t have the sort of nose he did.)  This was a scent he was used to, but as the sleep slowly seeped from him, Natsu realized it was far too strong and-

A rustling of hair  brushed his face, the mattress bent from added weight and the window clicking shut echoed through the room- Natsu’s eyes shot open, very much awake.

“-Lucy?!” The question held excitement, blood pumping through his ears as he hoped his senses hadn’t betrayed him- freezing in place when he was greeted with the family, brown eyes of his girlfriend. 

She had also frozen, slightly leaning over him still from her attempts to shut the window as quietly as possible. “Oh- sorry, did I wake you?” She questioned, voice low, as if her quiet whispers could lull him back to sleep. “You looked so tired, I didn’t want to-”

Lucy never had the chance to finish her sentence as Natsu’s body reacted, surging forward to grab her- the force sent them both tumbling off the bed and crashing to the floor.  Her screech was sudden and it rang in his ears, but he didn’t care- he was more concerned with ensuring he wasn’t having another one of his many vivid dreams. She felt real enough- her clothes were wrinkled from travel- her hair frizzed in weird places and her keys jangled at her hip. 

Her body directly beneath his, hips straddling by his own legs and breath panting into his ear as she struggled to adjust to his sudden weight, gave Natsu all the proof he needed: His Lucy was home. 

“Weirdo,” Natsu said, head lifting to beam at her- the dimples in his smile meeting his eyes for what felt the first time in weeks, “You’ve been workin’ forever and you're worried about ME bein’ tired?”

Lucy’s answering smile looked winded and she simpered, “- it was only a few months, not forever, you goof. I came back just fine!.”

“Yeah, yeah you sure did,” He rasped back, lips surging down to silence her. He didn’t want to talk, not just yet. Natsu’s relieved laughter passed from his mouth to hers, lips molding over her own, coaxing them open to dip his tongue in to meet her own- it wasn’t tentative or searching. It was fast, desperate almost. The taste of her, the feel of her breath against his face, the way she squirmed and looked for a position for her arms as their kiss grew more frenzied…

It spoke the words he didn’t know how to say. I’ve missed you. I’ve missed you so damn much… !

Lucy hadn’t been prepared, gasping for much needed air when Natsu finally relented, pecking her mouth over and over in between laughter and their whispered names. He couldn’t get enough. Wouldn’t get enough. Not just yet. Rough fingers move along the curve of her hips, finding the skin her shirt couldn’t cover- he grasped her, feeling the rise in temperature, the hitch of her breath as his hot mouth descended upon her jaw before moving back up again. What seemed rushed, turned slow as he took in air and pulled back to admire the flush and swell of Lucy’s lips. How he’d missed that dazed look on her eyes.

“Natsu what are you-” Another interrupted, but a welcomed one. Lucy bit back her words, cheeks growing redder as Natsu tenderly moved to press a soft kiss to her nose, her eyelids and even her forehead, before moving back to her lips. The rough movement that started took a more sensuous turn as he pressed their heads together, dark eyes simmering in the dark.  The sun had been high when he’d fallen asleep, but now, he subconsciously realized their only source of light was a gentle glow from the moon. 

Though he was far more interested in the light he held within his very arms. “You are never takin’ a job that long ever again.” He said- voice serious, but eyes gleaming as he sat up, pulling her with him to brush their hips together- allowing her fingers, now shaking with her own anticipation and need, to slide his scarf off slowly before zipping down his coat to brush off his shoulders. She gave him a look he knew all too well and he  backpedaled, “At least not without me you aren’t.”

What started as a reprimand turned to a giggle as Lucy’s slim fingers finally pushed off the fabric of Natsu’s clothes and met with his heated skin, “Have you missed me, Natsu?” She asked. No answer was needed- they both knew it either way and her laughter was muffled by his impatient hands suddenly pulling at her shirt, lifting it over her arms and tossing it aside. In no time, his own hands found skin once more,  trailing up and down her Lucy’s ribs before grasping the swell of her breasts, squeezing in a silent tempo while his mouth covered hers. 

The slow, languid push and pull of their tongues was met with soft sighs and more murmurs- her legs positioned over his, pelvis and hips pressing atop his own and his hands, still impatient for more touch, grasped her thigh to push her closer against him and explored the expanse of her back. Lucy whimpered when he pulled away, teeth nipping her lip before descending downward, brows furrowed as he placed nips and open mouthed kisses over her neck and shoulder. 

More. He needed more. 

Lucy tilted her head back, giving Natsu more room to move, arms moving over his shoulder, hips shifting  as he continued to suck against her skin leaving a trail of marks. There were many words at the tip of her tongue, all wanting to be released, but she held them back. Not yet, not now- he needed this, inhaling sharply when his teeth and tongue met the tip of her nipples, she admitted in lustful whispers her own need. 

‘I missed you. I missed Happy.. I missed Gray, Erza and Wendy…’

Another rough suck and her hips gyrated against his, heat pooling in her stomach, twisting and coiling as nails dragged down his shoulders. 

‘But most importantly…’

Another press against each other, their bottoms still in the way and Natsu growled, impatient, frustrated-  Lucy whined in response as his hands quickly moved to push her skirt up, thin, lace panties pushed aside for his fingers to move and test her. She was already prepared for him- already waiting, needing- wanting-

Natsu’s impatience grew, but he ignored the tightness of his pants, grunting in satisfaction when the pads of his fingers found the sensitive bud, hidden from everyone, but him. He circled his finger,  gave pressure and stimulation- marveling at the slowly building sounds that escaped Lucy’s mouth. She’d always been noisy- breathy and more than willing to tell him just what she liked through hushed whispers against his ear. 

‘I missed you-!’

It if had been any other day, any other night- they may have taken their time. Natsu would have  eventually moved her to the bed and consumed every inch of her wish his mouth and she may have traced the contours of every muscle he possessed with her tongue before swallowing him down for great release. This was not that night. A heavy need consumed every move, every motion- Natsu’s hand continued to press and play against her, eventually testing her wetness by dipping two fingers inside, thrusting in and out.

While she crooned, urging him on, hips moving against his own in a tempo searching for a release she hadn’t reached since the last she had seen him, Natsu continued his crusade against her skin: his teeth marked her with more love bites and when one breast received enough attention to ache when he pulled away, he moved to the other, suckling and pulling forth more sounds from her mouth as he helped build her need higher and higher. He timed it with the thrusts of his fingers and pressing of his thumb, but Natsu wasn’t the only one. 

Lucy needed more- far more than what she was given, mind altered by the steady build he was giving her inflamed body. Fingers quickly unclasped the belt as his waist, weaved around his own hands to push the hem of his pants down- finally grasping the hardness she desperately wanted to replace his fingers.

He was hard, painfully so- his movements paused when she gripped him, pumping her hand up and down while their eyes finally met with the other. A silent conversation passed between them- heavy breathing mixed between the two in the heavy air, and his hand finally slid away from her- giving opening for the swell of his head to touch against her, teasing as her hips moved to angle herself. “N-Natsu,” Lucy rasped, free hand moved to caress his face, tongue peeking out to swipe at her swollen lips, “We can take our time later, please just- “ She whined again when his hands gripped her hips in response, “Just do it!” 

Fingers flexed against her and Natsu helped with the very thing she wanted. Pressing her hips down against him, he slipped inside her, groaning from the sensation. They were together, working as one, taking only a few moments to adjust before their hips were moving together in a well-practiced rhythm that would send them higher and higher to a point they both desperately needed. 

They kissed, mouths moving sloppily together, unable to keep up with their frantic pace.  Natsu was already pent up, but he groaned in his attempts to hold back the pleasure. Not yet, not so soon, Lucy’s insides gripped him with every thrust and her mouth mimicking his own moments before, sucked the skin of his neck, licked the sweat as her own gasps and mewls echoed into the room.  “D-damn that feels so good, Lucy!”

He howled his praises and the work of his hands served their purpose, Lucy’s pleasure was already meeting the precipice she sought. Her movements stuttered and she grit her teeth, biting his skin when wave after wave of pleasure washed through her, crying out his name, Natsu finally allowed his own release- giving in to the conjoined pleasure, surging roughly inside her with every spurt of his orgasm. . 

It felt like mere seconds and an eternity had passed, panting against the other with sweaty foreheads pressed together. Lucy shuddered in the aftermath, slouching against Natsu as he held her. It was a few minutes longer before they both put together the crumpled clothes on their hips- their position on the floor and lost clothing littered around them. 

Natsu laughed first. A low, tired chuckle soon followed by Lucy's lips slowly meeting again between giggles. With weary limbs, they eventually moved to Lucy’s bed, sliding under the blankets as they kicked away the rest of their clothes. They would worry about the clean up later. 

Silence fell between them. A peaceful calm that comes between two people when they’ve finally come home: relief and contentedness filling them as Natsu pulled Lucy close against him, arms encircling her hips as she snuggled close. He pressed soft kisses against the back of her ear, and she giggled at each one, hands moved to encircle with his fingers. Despite his overdue rest through the day, Natsu felt all the worries and nerves he’d hidden beneath the surface, slide away, covering him with a different kind of exhaustion. 

It wasn’t until Lucy’s own breathing began to even, closing in on sleep, that he chose to finally answer the question she’d gave him. Another soft kiss before he nuzzled his face into her hair. 

“I missed ya way too damn much.” He admitted, practically purring into Lucy’s golden tresses. She snorted, the closest to a laugh she could come while her limbs were so tired, but squeezed his hand in response. “- how did the job go?”

Her sleepy reply came with a tilt of her head, pride swimming in her eyes, “The client was happy he requested my help and I have a new key to show for it.” Before he could ask further, she tilted herself enough to kiss the tip of his nose and fell back against her own pillows. “- talk more later, sleep now.”

Her tired plea and yawn pulled forth another laugh from Natsu, but he didn’t fight it. 

They had plenty of time to catch up. For now, he’d keep her all to himself.

[joons]

thoughts on coryo/lucy? 👀

Spoilers for The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes: (first meta, then feels)

I keep thinking about how Suzanne draws little distinction between love and PTSD. In all her books, the bonds forged in battle and in love are very, very similar and sometimes impossible to distinguish. Katniss and Peeta also grew apart after the first Hunger Games because it was too overwhelming to try to separate the good things about each other from what had happened to them. In Mockingjay, the “real or not real?” refrain captures this perfectly, but in their case, they are committed to turning over each memory in isolation to identify what about it is worth keeping. 

In Ballad, Coryo and Lucy Gray’s relationship is also forged through the camera lens and the reality of borderline starvation (the latter being the foundation for Katniss and Gale’s relationship as well). But unlike Katniss and Peeta, who are on equal footing, Coryo’s struggles are sort of a dim shadow of what Lucy is going through, so the similarities between their experiences are more superficial but nonetheless have the same effect on them as if they were in battle together the whole way through. They learn too late that they were fighting on different fronts and for different reasons. 

The need to untangle their trauma from their feelings of affection for one another comes up when Lucy Gray tells Coryo that she can’t tell the difference between danger and love. Trust is the hardest thing for her to believe in because it transcends those other two signals for her. With both Jessup and Billy, she either finds her faith in them misplaced (Jessup is only human and can succumb to rabies) or their love unreliable. Trust is certain, and--she seems to decide at the end--a luxury that barely exists when you’re trying to survive. Coryo proves her right that trust and love can never exist together, because something is going to eventually fail. You can love someone, but it’s almost always self-harm.

Ballad is the dark mirror version of the original series, where love does not eventually win out but becomes smothered by the immediate need for survival. And even THG demonstrates how difficult love is to hold onto and to preserve amid violence. It just cements the idea that Snow doesn’t believe Katniss/Peeta for a single second because he is positive such a thing cannot exist, that one party is always being manipulated. (He sees Lucy in Katniss, because he has convinced himself he was the victim in his relationship.) Coryo/Lucy Gray has a nihilistic ending that strips Coryo’s world down to its bare essentials: if you allow yourself to love, the best you can hope for is total annihilation (Lucy Gray disappearing without a trace) or to seize power for yourself and beat back the nature of man. It’s power or nothing. 

I really love their relationship, though, especially their dynamic in the first part and when Lucy Gray flips it on him and calls him out for treating her as a sacrifice that can’t win. Coryo only saw the possibility of loving her when there was a clear hierarchy between them, when she was an idea in a cage, and I love how that is there at the beginning too, just with an extra sheen of hope where you think maybe Coryo is truly learning from her. I love that they are both ruthless but with such different motives. When she saves him from the bombing, and he’s struck completely dumb for days???? When they blurt out, “I care about you” like right before the Games? Ahhhhhhh. They are so cute, so doomed, so complex. I love that he can’t understand a word she says and thinks bluegrass sounds like screaming. I’ve got a pinterest board for them, so hopefully I will make some graphics or other soon. :’D :’D