#he would totes be down to get pegged................change my mind

[crystalsexarch]

Haurchefant - evening preparations - E

Being thought an eccentric had benefits. For one, the Lord of Camp Dragonhead found that poor excuses satisfied many at his command; knights were willing to write off a sudden departure or change in mood as one of Haurchefant’s oddities. Well, perhaps he’s off to the stables, or Could be he means to place another order afore the merchant’s off. Ah, and sometimes he was. But not this time.

Twenty-seven - palaver Haurchefant gets away from the palaver of running Camp Dragonhead so he can let off some steam before ambiguous female WoL gets back. Explicit if you can't take a hint. He imagines some fantasies, light bondage, and erm...some other things...

More writing and sinning available here.

Perhaps a dozen knights surrounded his desk, half-heartedly readying their reports. He had his fingers woven together in front of his mouth.Back and forth went his eyes, searching for anything interesting to hold onto. It was a routine meeting, one in which he rarely learned anything of note. Certainly naught which interested him more than his current preoccupation.

“Milord,” the captain spoke. A perceptive Elezen, a fear years his junior. “We are set to proceed at your notice. Unless aught is amiss?”

Haurchefant looked to the ceiling with his eyebrows quirked, as if he’d heard someone plodding about the roof. “Yes,” he said. “In fact I’ve just begun to feel unwell.” He stood and set his palms against the table. “I believe I shall temporarily defer my responsibilities to you, good knight. Might I trouble you for a summary of what is discussed in my absence?”

The captain nodded, then saluted, with his lips pursed. “It shall be done, my lord. And may you find comfort.”

“I am certain I shall.” He made for the door, trying to stop a smirk from winning his expression. “Have at it, then.”

Haurchefant’s quarters were as he’d left them, so he stoked a fire and closed the blinds, as though to keep the heat from leaking as it built. Of course, he felt perfectly fine. As a knight, he had never been one for shirking his duties, but he hoped to excuse himself this one night because a wealth of distractions had been roiling in his mind for hours, and twas like the unit had little to offer in way of new intelligence. And if they did, he would hear of it soon enough.

But sooner than that - the Warrior would return. And he had plans for what would follow.

Once he’d removed his armor, Haurchefant reclined on his bed and smiled at the ceiling. The man had no stamina problem when it came to lovemaking, but still he hoped to impress his lady. After some experimentation, he had determined twas best to indulge himself before she ever arrived; that way, he could last through two or three cycles of her pleasure before his own ever became an issue.

And he had plenty of fantasies to fuel his habit.

He eased his trousers off and freed himself from his smallclothes. The fire’s heat had reached him, but his own rushed through his veins as well. In his mind, the dirty memories of past couplings, and visions of the future’s…

As he started stroking, he thought of whether he’d one day convince the Warrior to outfit herself with some new equipment and take him like a man. The image made his muscles tense: she, with her hips flush on his backside, her hand wrapped around and teasing him from the front. Would it please her? Oh, he hoped it would, for it would please him endlessly, as nearly everything between them would.

Perhaps she’d tie his hands or blindfold him to heighten his senses - make each thrust quake throughout his limbs and set his teeth to grinding - but so would he be content to do the same for her.

At a quicker pace now, he considered how he’d like very much to tie her up on that selfsame bed, perhaps her wrists at first, so she could use her legs to lock him at her sex. But soon he’d like to bind her ankles, too, and spread her until her eyes watered sweet tears. Then he could work her until she was begging for release...and at the last moment slip away...leaving her open to much and more of his machinations.

He smiled, imagining the sounds she might make. It was time for some escalation, then.

He thumbed his head, where a bead of liquid had formed, and then went back to stroking. He brought his free hand to pressure the base of his shaft and then lower places. As much as he wanted to come, he wanted to exercise a few more ideas, so he kept himself from rocking his hips to intensify the experience.

What if he held her flush to the windowpane? Would her nipples harden at the chill? Or would the Warrior’s exhibitionist tendencies finally reveal themselves? If he fucked her at the window, would she imagine the way she might look from the street beneath? Would she grow wetter if she thought a passerby might commit the sight of her breasts flat against the glass to please himself later?

What if she liked the idea so much that she came upon the glass?

He had to laugh at himself. By then, his face was red with lust and his hips strained against the bliss they already bore. It wouldn’t be long before he came. How much longer would it be before she arrived?

Perhaps a final scenario would do the trick -

Breathing through his mouth, he considered how she might react if she were to walk through his door that very instant and see him begetting release. Oh, if she commanded him to finish he’d be simply delighted to obey, to let his heels bore into the bed so he could thrust into his own hand. He thought the splendid twist of her lips would be the last thing he saw before surrendering to rapture and finally letting go.

He turned his head and moaned into the covers, knowing he was close. Even as he stroked, he kept his ears trained for the sound of that doorknob turning, her footsteps down the hall. He held his breath. And came.

His seed landed on the covers - he made a note to tidy before she arrived in earnest - and on his shoulder - which pleased him, for some reason. A tiny bit of pride. With heavy breaths, and a new clarity, he pondered how he would ever make up his mind once she'd arrived. Although he loved coming inside her, so too was he curious to test his aim...

Yes, he would have to evaluate the state of his room all over again. Perhaps fetch some more wood for the fire, pick out clean garments...chance change the sheets? Or perhaps that would be wasteful, considering the nature of his plans for the rest of the evening.

[lilsocksiswriting]

Synopsis: Stuck in her hot, dusty small town again for the summer, Y/N makes it her sole mission to peg  the loud and bright cattle rancher  Kyojuro Rengoku. Rengoku thinks it’s just downright adorable that Y/N thinks that she can top him.

Table of Contents

Chapter One II Chapter Three

Word Count: 4.6k

Tags: Dirty talk first thin in the morning, semi-public blow job, oral(reader receiving), hair pulling, praise kink

Warings: NSFW, No beta, Minors DNI

Normally you don’t mind getting up so early on weekends, but that was only because you had coffee or the fresh damp smell of outdoors to look forward to. The only coffee shop in town opens later on weekends which means that it was the farmers market with your mother first, then wake me up coffee after. Rengoku thinks you’re just too damn cute standing there amongst the crowd looking around a little lost and tired. You're dressed a lot more casually this time around in some high wasted shorts and a tee-shirt covered by oversized flannel. You hang onto the strap of a tote bag looking around for something.

Your mom likes to get fresh tomatoes and summer squash from the farmers' market, and you liked to get fresh honey, but the market has changed since the last them you came with your mom. There were a few new stalls and a lot more people. It takes you a minute to find Mrs. Henwell’s stall after your mother leaves to get her veggies. When Rengoku realizes where you’re heading the moseys his way through the crowd to join you.

“Morin’ Y/N!” he greets you in that boisterous and cheerful manner of his.

You look to the blonde who seems to have the same idea of keeping the morning humidity off his skin with a red pearl snap. It’s unbuttoned just enough to give anyone a peek at the hair on his chest and has the sleeves rolled up. He knows what the look is doing to your insides right? Regardless, you smile and tell Rengoku,” It’s way too early for you to be this happy.”

“Not when I get to see you first thing in the morning.”

“Smooth,” you admit, impressed.

“So, what brings you out to the farmer’s market?”

“I wanted to get homemade honey,” you nod your head to the mason jars that line the stall a few feet away for the two of you. The dark golden honey inside each sucking in the morning sun.

Rengoku moves to stand a little closer to you so that he can learn in and drop his voice. “Do you think their honey is as sweet as yours?”

You don’t give him any reaction, just a sly, “Is honey some sort of innuendo?”

“Oh, my apologies mam’. Guess I wasn’t clear enough. I was just wondering if I made you cum on my tongue, what it would taste like. Would it be sweet to like honey? Or savory? Would I do such a good job your essence would be dripin’ down my chin?”

Now, this does get a reaction out of you. Your face goes beat red in the middle of the crowd. Where the hell did, he pull that from? Rengoku only chuckles under his breath at your face. It’s so damn cute.

“Guess this puts me in the lead huh?”

A nice 1-2 now. “But not for long.”

“We’ll see about that darlin’. "

This smug piece of- you really need to find an adult store soon.

After the trip to the farmers market and some much-needed coffee, you had the rest of the day free. A whole day to do nothing as noting was pretty much the only thing to do in your hometown. Though, it has been a few days since you went out into the woods. You decide that it was time for another excursion. You pack a bag full of snacks and collections supplies, fill up your hydro-flask, tell your mom you would be back before it got dark, then set off.

The outdoors was always your favorite. The small patch of woods that lined the backside of your property held a special place in your heart as it was where you had come to realize your passion in life; bugs, fungi, and all the other ‘icky backbones of forests. Your favorite place in these woods was a dead tree trunk that had fallen over a knee-deep stream. You liked to rest on the trunk and dip your feet into the water while you ate a snack. Sometimes you listen to nature and just breathed. Other times you’d pop in your headphones and play an audiobook or podcast Listen to it completely alone and undisturbed.

On your way back to your house, you nearly run the web of a stunning, marbled orb weaver that had spun its home between to crocked fingers of a low-hanging branch. The reds and golds of its abdomen set artfully against the pink and orange sunset. The orb-weaver doesn’t remind you of the sunset or any sunset for that matter but rather the reds and golds of Rengoku’s eyes. They were beautiful just like the rest of him. You would never admit this to anyone though. You would simply tell them that the spider was a unique color though anyone in your field of study would know that marble orb-weaver came in an array of bright colors to attract prey to their webs

To humanly kill the marbled orb weaver and to preserve it for your collection, you would need a few supplies which means taking a trip with your mom when she went to the next town over to get groceries. You really didn’t want to go to Walmart for that same soulless feeling that Atwood’s gave you.

“I don’t know what you need so just come with me,” your mom tells you when you try to give her a list and your card. So, on the day after you found the marbled weaver it was off the Walmart.

There you spy your favorite cowboy pushing a cart down the grain aisle looking just as miserable as you and it makes you feel a little less like you were actively having your life force sucked from your body. He's so engrossed in the list had had in one hand. His cart was full of fresh produce and meats so far. Not a TV dinner insight. You’re glad that he seems to know how to cook. It means he knows how to take care of himself and of course he did. You had already seen him without his shirt. You can only imagine what his naked thighs look like. Actually, maybe you shouldn’t. Walmart was the last place you wanted to get turn on at.

Rengoku doesn’t notice you until you put your foot out and stop his cart.

Rengoku goes into full-on southern gentlemen mode when he feels the front of his cart bump into someone. He whips his head up from his list and an apology is already coming out of his mouth. “Ah, I’m sorry- Oh! Y/N. Fancy meeting you here.”

You nod to the Plaster of Paris and some generic brand of nail polish remover cradled in your arm and explain, “Found a really cool spider in the woods yesterday and wanted to add it to my collection but I needed some supplies.”

A spark flashes in Rengoku’s eye and suddenly his whole face is lighting up too. “Oh! That reminds me. I found mushrooms in the pastor yesterday evening and they glow!”

You reflect that same spark. “Really?”

“Yes. I can show you this evening if you'd like.”

“I’d love that. You barely ever see bioluminescent fungi around here.”

And it was as simple as that for Rengoku to get your cell phone number so that you can text him later to give him a heads up when you are coming over. You couldn’t go now. Leaving with Rengoku would be taken by your mom in a way and lead to annoying questions you didn’t feel like dealing with. Plus, it was the middle of the day. You couldn't see glowing mushrooms in the middle of the day. But you were eager to see them this evening and eager to be alone with the cowboy again. You tell yourself that this eagerness to be alone was sole because of this little game you two had going on. Nothing more.

For the same reason that you don’t tell your mom that you ran into Rengoku while getting your supplies, you don’t tell her where you’re heading out for the evening. You just lie and tell her you're going to have dinner with some friends. And she believes it. She’s suspicious of who these friends are but you are dressed like you going out for dinner at some local hole-in-the-wall place. Mabey, not the best for walking out in a pastor or woods but something that was still comfortable, nonetheless.

Rengoku is in the driveway waiting when you pull in. He tries to offer to carry the bag you’ve brought along with you, but you decline. You’ve been lugging the bag around whenever you’re out that you barely feel the weight on your shoulders as you and Rengoku walks you down a beaten ATV path that heads further into the pastor.

Rengoku is really smitten with you. There’s a warm heat in his chest as you two walk along. People have told him how handsome he looks when the sun catches in his hair and know finally he knows what they mean when he sees you. The way ate last rays of the summer shine in your hair and your smile that matches the brightness of the sun. Boy howdy, that smile was something.

Rengoku takes you to a fence line that divides his from the Smith’s pastor, his neighbors. A few Pecan trees have begun growing into the barb-wired fence and it's at the trunk of one of the trees a small colony of honey mushrooms grow You crouch down to take a closer look at the fungi while Rengoku remains standing leaning an elbow against a wooden fence post.

Rengoku asks you to tell him about honey mushrooms and you happily tell him all that you know. When you're done having a good look and explaining to the blonde what causes their glowing, Rengoku casually mentions some chicken he’s been slow cooking in a crockpot back at his house, and who are you to pass up a free home-cooked meal. Beside you had lied to your mother about going out to dinner so wouldn’t it be weird to show up back home hungry?

On the way back things are quieter and darker. In the new quiet you can make out distant voices. Rengoku can too and supplies, "My neighbors. They like to have a bonfire every now and then."

"Ah," you nod and would have left it at that if you hadn't remembered what the score is between the two of you and how flustered Rengoku can get in public when you are the one making a move on him. This would be the perfect place for that. The Smith’s couldn’t see too two through the tree line and overgrown bushes, but they might be able to hear Rengoku if he made too much noise.

Reaching out and slip your hands around one of his think forearms. "You know I should really thank you."

"Your company's worth it," he says. It’s too dark to make out his face but the sincerity in his voice makes your heart flutter in your chest

You stay focused. With a little tug on his arm, you two stop in front of another pecan tree that. The trunk of this one has fully grown around the barbwire.

"Something wrong?" God bless him, he's actually worried that something may be wrong.

"I just want to thank you," you practically purr slipping off his arm and stepping to stand in front of the cowboy. Once you place your hand on his wide chest and give a little push to back him against the tree Rengoku quickly wises up.

"O-oh, you mean right here. Right now?" where his neighbors might be in earshot?

You shrug, "No time like the present, but if you think you're too much of a whiner…" you began to pull away, but his rushed voice stops you.

"No! I can stay quiet. The question is if you can thank me quietly."

You feel a smirk spread across your lips. "Is a challenge?"

He reflects on your smirk. "Well, I reckon it is."

Sinking to your knees you are even more determined to make the man above you into a moaning mess that would alert his neighbors. What did you care if they heard anyway? It's not like you had some kind of upstanding reputation to uphold as he did. You don't think it will be that hard to accomplish your goal either. You can feel him already getting hard through his jeans, knuckles brushing against the bulge as you unbuckle his belt ad unzip his jeans. When the heated flesh of his dick is met with evening air Rengoku takes in a sharp hiss of air through his teeth that seems louder than it actually is to the two of you.

Rengoku stares down at your figure in the dark, lips pressed in a thin line as you stroke him to full hardness staring back with a smile on your face he can barely make out. You hadn't forgotten how big and heavy Rengoku feels in your hand from the handy at the barn, but it still comes as a surprise to you. Kissing the tip, you have to wonder if you can take all of him. But before you would even try that you would make sure that his cock was all nice and wet to make the process easier.

Rengoku fails at staying quiet as you kiss and lick up and down his erection. Your tongue, the slight graze of your teeth your lips-they're just so soft and warm, and wet, and the fact that this was you down on your knees stroking his dick, making it slick with your sloppy kisses makes it that much hotter for him. The cowboy can't help but moan. He tries his best to make them as quiet as he can. The last thing he wanted was to gain the attention of his neighbors. They couldn't see either you to two thanks to the trees, but they would surely want to talk to their neighbor if they knew he was out here.

When you think that Rengoku's dick is wet enough you take one deep breath before easing it into your mouth. Rengoku lets out a shaky moan that he immediately cuts short too because of how loud it is. You are doing your best to not gag on his cock, but the reflex kicks in any way having the head of his cock bump the back of your throat over and over as you move your head.

The gags are at least quieter than the noises that Rengoku makes but that doesn't matter to the man you are sucking off. Every little noise that comes from you makes his dick throb which you can feel. His eye is still trained downward on you even though he can't make out the finer details of your face. He feels the way your throat squeezes around his dick every time you gag.

"Oh god damn, darlin’," Rengoku cursed under his breath.

Rengoku rips his cowboy hat off and cranes his head back towards the dark sky, head thumping against the tree. A sensible person would slap a hand over their mouth to stay quiet, but Rengoku's head was too clouded by the pleasure of a building orgasm. Instead, he digs the fingernails of his free hand into the bark of the trunk.

You can't seem to get adjusted to the girth of Rengoku's cock or the feeling of it sliding for the back of your throat as your jaw begins to ache. You dig your fingers in jeans around Rengoku's thighs as drool dribbles down your chin and your eyes water from the dull ache. All the while you think this is the first time you've been so turned on by giving a blow job.

The drool at least helps you move your lips up and down faster. Pressing your tongue into the underside is what finally pushes Rengoku over the edge.

"Oh fuck, darlin’ I'm cummin’. Cummin’," He declares in horsed whispers.

Under your fingertips, you feel Rengoku’s thighs flex as his cum spills down the back of your throat. You try your best to swallow it all, but when you stagger back to your feet slightly out of breath Rengoku catches a little smeared on your chin mixed in with drool. The sight makes his dick twitch, but he doesn't want to push his luck with his neighbors. So, he offers you a handkerchief from his back pocket before tucking himself back into his pants.

"So, what do you reckon cowboy?"

" I reckon that the score is even," Rengoku good-heartedly admits, not being able to be the least bit upset when he sees the faint outline of a triumphant and proud smile through the darkness.

Rengoku’s house is filled with the smell of chicken coming from the crockpot. Dinner was a lot like the cookies you two shared, the conversation was easy between you two. This time however you wanted to know about Rengoku’s line of work in the cattle business. He had heard your passion know it was time for you to hear his. Rengoku tells what he loves about raising cattle and oblivious to you he loves that you aren’t asking about the money side of things. Instead of letting him talk about what he wants to talk about. Rengoku can’t count how many dates he’s been on and one of the first questions that come up about the cattle business is related to how much money he makes.

You had a suspicion that this dinner was planned, no one could eat this much chicken. This did waver when you saw how much this man could eat, but it never left. You wonder what he was trying to butter you for. He didn’t seem like the type of guy to cook a nice meal because he thinks it means you’ll sleep with him.

Rengoku was planning something in particular. Something he hadn’t stopped thinking about since he said it to you at the farmer’s market. He chooses to bring it up after dinners are eaten and you and him are lounging on the couch, letting the food settle before you drive home.

“Shame I didn’t make dessert.”

You hum in agreement.

“Mabey you could help with that?”

This perks your interest, “Yea?”

“I’ve been wonderin’ how sweet you must taste since I brought it farmer’s market.”

“Sorry to burst your bubble but I’m not going to taste sweet.”

“Oh, so it’d be savory?” Rengoku asks already edging to slip himself off the couch.

“I wouldn’t say savory either,” you glance over at the other side of the couch and see how eager he is to eat you out. You can’t say no to that face, “But if pussy is your favorite dessert, I won’t deny you your favorite treat.”

Rengoku is between your legs in the next moment. With excited hands, he pulls at your jeans helping you shimmy out of them along with your underwear. You find that you like this position. Rengoku looks up from down in his knees, that bright expression of his full of eagerness. It was cute that the was so excited to go down on you. How could this man be both cute and arousing at the same time?

Rengoku breaks his stare to look down at your thighs which he’s spread apart with warm, rough hands. A wave of nerves suddenly comes down on you. You realize that you’ve never had a guy eats you out. You had a few flings at university, but it was the very vanilla kind of sex. Missionary and a few minutes longer in the darkness of a bedroom. What if he didn’t like what he saw? You should say fuck what he thinks. What do you care what some small-town cowboy thinks of your body?

Rengoku’s hands slip further up your thighs. He licks his lips in anticipation as he uses his thumb to spread part your lips. Your skin breaks out into goosebumps, and your mind goes blank. All worries were gone when you see to lustful gleam in Rengoku’s fiery eyes.

“Fuck, ain't that a pretty sight.”

You feel arousal coil in your gut. Her voice was deep and thick. Somehow hearing him curse was the most arousing thing so far.

“Ready?”

“What- yes. Just um, I’ve never done this before though so…” you trail off wondering if you needed to give him any more information, Maye it was better if you hadn’t. A part of you wondering if he was going to use that against you?

“So, I get to have the honor of being the first one to make of making you come undone like this?” he finishes for you which sparks that competitiveness again.

“Let’s let your mouth on my clit be the judged of that. Do you need help finding it cowboy?”

Rengoku dives right in instead of answering with any witty comeback. His mouth latches onto your clit. So, he does know where the clit is, good for him. He also knows how to run his tongue along it in a way that makes you see stars. Your toes curl and you sink further into Rengoku’s couch. Your hand finds themselves combing through Rengoku’s hair and tightening in fists when he’s spreading your lips wider and pausing his mouther further between them.

Rengoku breaks away. A sound slips out of his mouth that’s somewhere between a moan and a whimper. It reveals to you the weakness of his you can use to your advantage. Rengoku likes having his hair pulled. He doesn’t just like it, the way he looks up at you tells you that having his hair pulled can make him such a mess so fucking quickly.

“You like that?” you ask sweetly.

The hairband that holds Rengoku’s hair back out of his face slips out easily with a simple tug. you slip the band over your wrist for safekeeping. Running your fingers through his hair again holding his hair back as the hairband did. A firm grip lets Rengoku know who is in control now. You catch the way he slackens his jaw trembles.

“Yes. Fuck yes.”

“Well, then you better be a good boy and eat up every last drop I offer you.”

Rengoku’s dips his chin. “Yes mam’”

Oh, you could get used to this. just like you could easily get addicted to the way Rengoku’s mouth moves against you. The movements of his tongue are slow and methodical. The pleasure building was just as slow but maddening. You wanted to cum so bad. Begging Rengoku was on the tip of your tongue. But then you rack your nails over Rengoku’s scalp. you feel his desperate little moans against your heated skin reminding you that you were in control, and he was at your mercy. Eating you out was a treat for him that you could take away at any point if you thought he was being ungrateful. All it takes is a tug of his hair you’re holding back for Rengoku to pull away and look up at you. Oh yes, you could get used to this. Rengoku’s eyes were half-lidded, red pupils dilated.  His breath was heavy, and his face flushed. His mouth was still open and smeared all around it gleaming the Livingroom’s light was the remints of your own arousal.

“Y/N?”  Rengoku’s voice is breathless and confused. Why had you stopped him? Were you worried he needed to breathe? Wanted to get a good look at his face? Why did you want him to stop? He wants you to let him bury his face back between your thighs and stay there for hours.

You stay staring down at him a little longer just to gather your words so that your tone won’t give away that you were so fucking close to cuming and just as a mess of lust and desire as he was. “I thought I told you to take every last drop?”

“I- well there’s just so much darlin’, Practicality drownin’ in it,” He tries to come up with a good excuse. He even uses that pet name to try and cover-up that he felt like he had been caught doing something shouldn’t have been doing. God, this was such a power trip.

“Do I not taste good? You should have just said so,” Your voice has a bored tone to it. “We can stop if- “

“No!” the response was quick and panicked.

It makes a sly smile break out across your face. “Oh? Are you sure?”

“Yes,” he says with three quick nods thinking he’s gotten off the hook.

“Then beg.”

That worried, I’m-in-trouble look is back.

“I won’t repeat myself,” you emphasize the point by tightening your grip.

A frustrated, albeit tiny, moan that was followed by his strained, pleading voice,” Please, Darlin let me taste you again. Fuuuuck, you just taste so God damn good. I want more, please.  I pro- I promise I’ll be a good boy drink up everything.”

“You better,” You warn and loosen your grip just enough for Rengoku to smoosh his face back into your sopping wet pussy.

You gasp at the new vigor Rengoku has. His rough fingers dig deeper in your flesh as he eats you out like a starved man. He licks you up and down, tongue laid flat, so it slides against every spot between your folds that makes you gasp.

“That’s it, such a good boy.” You praise him for his eagerness to make you cum. Speaking of which, you feel a knot in your stomach begin to tighten again.

“Keep going, “You encourage pushing Rengoku’s head, “That’s it, right there, that’s its good boy.”

As you come undone and Rengoku continues to hold on to you as your body withers in delight, you hear the think gulps for the man. He’s swallowing down all the wetness he can. Being the good boy that he promised he would be.

When Rengoku pulls away he’s out of breath and smiling. You to stay like that for a long time as you come down from your high and Rengoku comes back to reality after being so engrossed in being face first between your legs pleasing you. You want to stay like this, you could. Just basking in Rengoku’s beauty when he’s like this.

“Well, damn darlin’,” the cowboy chuckles, his voice rough and blissful “Two points in one night. I gotta step up me game.”

“You can try to. Here, let me pull your hair back. You won’t get all winey and moany again, will you?”

He shrugs, “Only one way to find out.”

Rengoku lets you pull his hair back into his pick tail. His hair was so much softer than it looks, and you wonder what sort of hair protect he uses. Which leads you to wonder what he looks like in the shower, soapy suds sliding down his body. You think about anything else before your thoughts get too far into making you too horny again.

Rengoku walks you out to your car and kisses you on the cheek goodnight. Your heart flutters and you feel giddy for the rest of the drive home. But even with a goofy smile on your face, you feel confused. You thought Rengoku was just like every other guy from your town- every other person. The charm and manners were all a façade. It was all to hide h the real nastiness, the way everyone hated you for being different from what they have been used to for generations. Rengoku wasn’t hiding anything from you. He may look like a very handsome personification of what you hated most about the small town, but he wasn’t anything like most of the people here. Rengoku actually makes you like it here.

[pressedinthepages]

Shenanigans

Fandom: The Witcher

Pairing: Eskel/Reader (gender neutral)

Word Count: 1392

Rating: T

Masterlist

a/n: Reader Request [ just found r esk/read stuff and WOW delicious... umm could you do an esk/read fluff? just some goofy stuff at kaer morhen? i love ur writing hav a nice day!/ maybe some pranks? inappropriate usage of signs and playin stuff like 'who can steal more of vesemirs stuff w/o noticing' ] omg cuteeee this was so sweet to write and im living

(There is a link on my page where you can be added to my taglist :D)

Warnings: a little bit of language, pranks, but not the shitty kind, inappropriate usage of signs

Eskel is the victim of a prank, and enlists help with revenge.

    Your nose slowly regains feeling, having been in a regular state of freezing before being toted into the library and plopped in front of the roaring fire. Kaer Morhen was typically quite chilly in the winter, but none of the Wolves particularly enjoyed the cold, especially not Lambert. They kept numerous fires and piles of furs around the great castle, just waiting for someone to warm.

    You lay on your side atop one of these furs, something soft and dense that smells just like Eskel. Said Witcher is laying behind you, his arm wrapped around your waist and his legs intertwined with yours. His breath tickles the back of your neck as you both lounge before the fire. 

    “Lambert scared the shit out of me today,” Eskel mumbles, brushing his nose lightly against the nape of your neck. 

    You hum, settling further back into him. “How in the world did he manage that?”

    “Dumb bastard was hiding up in the rafters above the armory, apparently he had been up there all morning just waiting. Then, when I walked in, he dropped down behind me and tackled me to the ground, and then ran away before I could grab him. Ever since he’s started hanging around that Cat, he’s gotten much more agile.”

    You grin, a haze settling over your vision, “I think he’s good for Lambert, makes him feel more human.”

    Eskel only grunts in response, sleep clearly approaching quickly for both of you. “Would you help me enact revenge?” 

    You turn in Eskel’s arms, kissing him deeply and nuzzling into his neck, basking in the warmth of his body. “Anything to protect your honor, my dear.”

    And thus began the great Kaer Morhen Prank War.

***

        It starts innocently enough, only needing to borrow a few of the animals from around the keep. You and Eskel rise before the sun, tending to the animals before carting a few through the cavernous halls of the castle. Eskel only needed to Axii Lil’ Bleater to be quiet for a moment, since she was the only one making any noise. 

    You carefully tip open the door to Lambert’s room, noting how he snuffled into his pillow. You nod at Eskel, letting him step in to cast the same sign over his brother. Only enough to keep him asleep while you herd the animals into the room, Lambert snored loudly as three goats, a pig, two chickens, and Scorpion file into the room. You hadn’t even planned on Scorpion, but once he noticed your little parade he just decided to follow. 

    Eskel slowly lifted the signs, the two of you sliding out of the door and hiding in a small alcove at the rear end of the hall. It only took a moment before you heard a shout, followed by a bang as Lambert presumably hit the floor. Your eyes widen as you see Lambert scramble out of his door, stopping to peer back inside of his room. 

    “Oh-oh fuck. How? Shit. Okay, no problem. Just got a fuckin’ barnyard in my room, it’s fine.” Lambert turns and sprints the other way down the hall, leaving you and Eskel to finally succumb to the laughter that had been threatening to burst at the seams. Once you catch your breath, you move quickly, gathering all of the animals and urging them out of the hall. Eskel leads, keeping an eye out for Lambert. 

    You make it back down to the courtyard without running into anyone else, depositing your herd before casually making your way back inside. You and Eskel walk back up the stairs, turning into the hallway that houses Lambert’s room. You can hear voices coming from inside, mainly Lambert’s.

    “What the hell? I swear Vesemir, they were just here.”

    Lambert is gesticulating wildly, turning on his heels when he hears the two of you enter. 

    “What’s going on Lambert?” Eskel queries, quirking an eyebrow with a smirk.

    The younger Witcher narrows his eyes, immediately pegging the two of you as the culprits. “Not damn thing, mind your business.” But you can tell by the twitching of his jaw that the game has only begun. 

    Vesemir sighs, leaving the room. You can hear him grumbling about how things never seem to change, no matter how many years go by.

    ***

    Lambert then corners you after supper, yanking you unceremoniously into an abandoned bedroom. His hands find a place on his hips, looking all the world like a parent scolding their unruly child. 

    “Really??? I thought you better than this, I can’t believe you helped him get back at me!”  Lambert hisses. You only shrug, not wanting to incriminate yourself further. Lambert squints, and you can clearly see the gears turning in his head. 

    “Would you help me?” He asks. You blink, a smirk crossing your lips at the prospect. 

    You nod, holding up a single finger. “Within reason, I won’t condone anything cruel.”

    Lambert scoffs and rolls his eyes. “What do you take me for, an asshole?”

    “Well, yes.”

    “Eh, that’s fair. No worries, this is all just fun and games, I promise.” Lambert holds out a hand and you shake it, a new pact formed in the secret halls of the abandoned castle. 

    ***

    The next morning, you convince Eskel to take you into the courtyard for some training. He is gentle with you, but firm enough for the both of you to actually benefit from the exercise. Your breath comes in visible puffs in the air and you try to keep your eyes trained on Eskel rather than where you know Lambert is hiding. 

    You are doing your best to corner Eskel into the spot that you and Lambert had agreed on, but you had failed to remember that Eskel is a fucking Witcher. Every move that you make towards your goal only sends you two steps backwards, until you finally come up with an idea. 

    You hold up a hand, feigning the need to catch your breath. When Eskel asks if you are alright you only nod, slowly creeping over to the designated spot. You put your hands on your knees and brace yourself, letting your chest heave with deep breaths. Eskel comes to your side and sets his hand on your shoulder, his golden eyes gleaming with worry. You glance over to your right, only a brief moment for confirmation of what will happen next.

    Eskel murmurs your name and you look up, catching his eyes and smirking before twisting away, leaving him still for a split second, which is all Lambert needs. He launches out from behind the shed and signs aard, sending Eskel soaring into the giant mound of snow that you and Lambert had put together the evening before. You see Eskel’s head pop back up from the middle of the hill, a powdery white dusting over his hair making him look even more like Geralt. 

    Lambert is doubled over with laughter and you step towards your Witcher with a smile on your face and your hand outstretched. Eskel takes it, fitting his fingers with your own and letting you help him out of the snow. As soon as he has his footing though he growls, tackling an unsuspecting Lambert to the ground. They roll over the cool cobblestones for a minute until Eskel has Lambert pinned beneath him. You approach cautiously, setting your hand on Eskel’s shoulder. 

    “Now, love. Don’t get cross with him for a little bit of payback. I mean, we did put half of the barn into his room.”

    Eskel sighs, hanging his head before climbing to stand. He helps up Lambert, clapping him on the shoulder. “Well played, brother.”

    Lambert chuckles, rolling the same shoulder as if Eskel may have lightly dislocated it. “Same to you...maybe we should slow the pace? We won’t last all winter if we keep going like this..”

    Eskel only hums and nods, turning back to you. You smile, pulling him in for a gentle kiss to the cheek. “Traitor,” he whispers, mirth evident in his voice.

    “Oh no, love. That was my penance for helping you in the first place.”

    Eskel smirks, a mischievous glint finding a home in his eyes. You barely have time to register that before he hauls you up over his shoulder, breaking off in a sprint to the keep, your laughter echoing in his wake. 

[pidgelings]

I'm sorry to bother but would you mind explaining why the Plance angst in the Sven's universe? Also, I actually have a Voltron long distance squad AU written in one of my notebooks!!!! I feel so happy someone else have a similar idea because I thought no one would find it as interesting as I do omg!!! (You should totes write a fic). Also I have two dear AUs I created and I just want to share them: Plance Pokémon AU and OTGW AU. Please have a beautiful, beautiful day!!!!’u`

Ah! Thank you for dropping this in!

I’m glad I’m not the only one with a Long Distance AU idea too! Honestly, the idea seems bland at first thought but when you actually look into the chaos of having friends all over the place, it can be hella fun!

Also, if you ever want to message me off anon with those two AU ideas of your own, I’d love to learn more about them! :D

So, the Plangst is a bit of a background plot in Sven’s Verse but has enough plot to it that it could totally run as its own story. So, here’s how that goes:

Sven’s Verse AU (Plangst Story)

Pidge

A member of the Guns of Gamora but not a soldier in it (at first)

Basically in charge of creating weapons and ships for the soldiers

When Slav isn’t out on duty, he works alongside her

(I know in GoLion Pidge is a guy named Hiroshi but I don’t feel like working with that. Hiroshi really bugs me)

Even though she isn’t a soldier, she does train in combat and has learned to use her small stature to take down big guys like Sven

She is known to be snappy and have a tad bit of a temper when bothered but it’s clear she’s on the rebel’s side through and through

It’s after she meets Lance that her connection to the rebels grows stronger.

Lance

Lance is also a member of the Guns of Gamora but is a soldier

Known for being one of the most deadly snipers

He’s a bit full of himself because of this and will gladly brag about his kill streak

He’s also known to be a tad bit of a jerk and rather entitled

He thinks for being a rebel hero he deserves a lot more than he has right now (think Voltron Lance’s desire for glory cracked up to 11 with an expectation that it’ll happen)

(He’s pretty much Isamu from GoLion and goes by said name (but Imma keep calling him Lance to keep things simple). Unlike Pidge’s other version, I like Lance’s so I’ll work with it)

He has a tendency to wander around any base he’s stationed at so you’ll either find him right away or it’ll take you a million years to find him unless you com him

Things go crazy after he meets Pidge.

[More Under the Cut]

Their Meeting

They first meet when Pidge is training in one of the many training rooms

Lance didn’t recognize her as a soldier so when he asked her if she was one and confirmed that she wasn’t, he asked what the hell she was doing there

“What? You think that I can’t fight just because I’m not a soldier?”

“I didn’t say that! I just said that maybe you shouldn’t use the training rooms that us soldiers use.”

“How the hell am I supposed to train then?”

“You’re not supposed to!”

“So if we get attacked right now I’m not supposed to know how to defend myself?!”

“Like you could defend yourself anyway! You’re so tiny!”

She made Lance eat his words

Remember how I said Pidge could take down guys as big as Sven?

Well, Lance isn’t as big as him so knocking the wind out of him was easy as easy could be

Let’s just say that was a wake-up call for Lance

Pidge leaves him soon after since she was wrapping up her training anyways

Now Lance wants to know who she is and how he can meet her again

The Relationship Grows

Not long after their first meeting, Pidge finds herself running into Lance way more than she likes

Turns out, Lance got the information about who she was and what she does from one of his superior officers

She’s the first girl who wouldn’t deal with his shit so he’s definitely intrigued by her

Things are still rather snappy between them as Pidge accuses him of stalking her, which isn’t exactly a lie but there’s no way he’ll admit it

Eventually, she gets used to him stopping by her lab in his free time and just deals with his presence

He actually kinda becomes good company after she knocks him down a few pegs

He thought that the soldiers, the ones going out to fight against the Alteans were the only heroes in this battle but after seeing all the things Pidge makes for the rebellion, he can see everyone there is a hero of some kind

Turns out when he’s not being a smug jerk he can actually be a really nice guy

I’m talking being that guy who puts a blanket over Pidge’s shoulders after she passes out from working so hard

He’s also pretty sure he’s fallen for her because she’s one hell of a ride for him

She makes him question a lot of things he didn’t before

The nickname “Shorty” he gave her to mock her also becomes a bit more endearing

Of course, Pidge’s feelings are growing for the more sensitive and caring Lance as they learn more about each other

It was after a particularly bad brush with the Alteans that left Lance in the medbay that ended bringing the two together romantically

Even though they are a couple now, they’re routine doesn’t change much

There might be a few kisses and hugs and sweet words tossed into it now though

The two are rather happy for a good amount of time... then shit hits the fan

The Incident

It was supposed to be a simple mission

A strike against a small Altean base, nothing big at all

But when the team returned extremely battered and down a member, everyone knew the strike was a mistake

Most of all Pidge as it was Lance who was missing

According to the members of the mission, Lance cleared their exit but when they were able to try to get him, the Alteans captured him and took him who knows where

Pidge was quick to lash out and had to be held back Slav

She demanded that they send out a team to go rescue him but she knew they wouldn’t

It would be too risky

Pidge refused to work for a good while after Lance’s disappearance

Sadly, his return didn’t make anything better

Altean Slave Lance

During a small scouting mission consisting of Sven, Akira (Keith), and Slav, Lance is found

Much to their disappointment but not to their surprise, Lance has a hoktril attached to his head

He has no free will and is basically a slave with no hope of rescue

...That is until Slav ignores Sven’s orders to leave him alone and captures the slave

Slav explains that he thinks this is one of the few realities where bringing back Lance will benefit the Guns as they’ll learn more about Altean technology

So, the team brings him back

When Pidge sees him, she’s overjoyed at first and hugs him

When he doesn’t hug back, she knows something is wrong

Sven, Slav, and Akira are scolded for bringing back an Altean Slave while Pidge questions if she’ll ever really be getting Lance back

She overhears Slav’s reasoning for bringing him back and decides to do two things

She’s going to not only learn how the hoktril works but she’s also going to learn how to free someone from it

But in order to do that, she’s going to have to see Altean tech first hand

She needs to become an active soldier

Soldier Pidge

Despite Slav’s protests, Pidge starts heading out on missions

Her first missions are rather rocky but they only fuel her desire to take down the Alteans for what they’ve done

Lance remains confined to Pidge’s Lab and every time she returns from a mission, she’s back to trying to figure out how to free him

It really starts to eat away at her until she becomes a cold, determined shell of who she used to be

It pains the others to see her like this but they know there’s nothing they can do

So, that’s the mission she’ll always be on until she learns how to free Lance

There is no happy ending to this yet, just an ongoing struggle

So, that’s basically what’s going on with the Plance angst in Sven’s Verse! Thanks for asking!

[celebritytgcaptions]

Requests (5/15/17)

I haven’t been answering requests for a while because I’ve been busy with school and other stuff, but things have quieted down so here are the requests I’ve been getting (and they’re A LOT). So if you sent me a request in the past week or two and you haven’t seen me to respond to it odds are it’s listed below. Thanks for being patient! <3

Anonymous said:

Can you do one with Jessica Chastain, where a high school guy gets turned into his biggest enemies mother, and has to be a motherly figure to him or stay her forever? And he also soon figures out he has a new big dicked husband to please too?

Sure thing!

Anonymous said:

Sorry bad English. Can do cap with Michelle Rodriguez?

No need to be sorry. And I can totally do one with Michelle Rodriguez for you. :)

@kittystclare​ said:

I know I still have a request coming, but I'd like to make another request if I can. I quite enjoyed your Miley Cyrus cap the other day and would like to request one with her. Basically, a guy named Britt wants to be a singer, but is made over by his friend Melanie into a female pop star, Kitty St. Clare. She also uses some hypnosis to make sure Kitty is extra provocative both on and off stage using overt sexuality. Thanks!

I’m glad you liked the other Miley one I posted. I can 100% do this for you, Kitty. ;)

Anonymous said:

Hey can you do one where a guy tells his wife that he only got with her so she could be his trophy. So she turns him into Kate Upton, and he becomes the trophy wife of a unattractive man. And he can't do anything about it no matter how much he tries and dislikes it.

You bet!

Anonymous said:

hi could you create caption where guy named adam come to amy adams house and he please her if she transform him into herself and she answer him okay i do it for you

I got you, honey. :)

Anonymous said:

hello can you please create caption where kaya scodelario meet 20 year old Homeless named joe and say him i can change your life and Homeless had a question how you can change my live? said Homeless and Kaya answer him its very simple i transform you into herself what do you say ? and Homeless answer her yes that was my dream to be you the next day he was his dream woman Kaya Scodelario and now his life was more better then before

I’m not really comfortable including an issue like homelessness in one of my captions. I can do one with Kaya Scodelario that’s pretty close to this, but I’m not going to include the homeless aspect. Sorry if that disappoints you. :(

Anonymous said:

Could you do something where a boy gets turned into an obedient clone of Beyonce for disrespecting the Queen B. So he has to join the Bey Hive

Oooo! I like this! You got it, sugar. ;)

Anonymous said:

Can you do a caption where a young stud is robbed of his youth and masculinity through hormones and surgery to be an eccentric older lady using Glenn Close as Cruella De Ville please?

Huh. I’ve never gotten a request like this before but I don’t see why not. I can make this for you. :)

Anonymous said:

Can you make a caption where a huge and buff 7 foot tall wrestler is needed to be taken down a peg, so to try to teach him a lesson, he is turned into Alexa Bliss? She's an adorable wrestler who's just over 5 feet tall.

Sure thing! :)

Anonymous said:

Can you do one where a guy is always calling his little sister a slut, so his sisters best friend curses him into her body... And she tells him if he acts like her, pretends to enjoy it, and has sex as her, he'll turn back... And after he does all this, she tells him that all that actually makes it permanent, and he freaks out

Hey I just requested the trapped in sisters body one... And forgot to ask if you could use Chloe Grace Moretz. You don't have to reply to this, that's my bad

No bad at all. I can totally make this for you! I kinda luv this idea. :D

Anonymous said:

Can you do a story on a guy named Elias who is confronted by Drag Queens and becomes Queen Latifah?

I think I can do this? I usually try to avoid actual drag queens and transwomen in my caps because I don’t want to be disrespectful, but I think I can write this in a way where it will be respectful. So I can type this up for you, sure. :)

Anonymous said:

Wouldnt mind something with Rebecca Black. Possibly someone's still teasing her about her Friday video after all these years, and she decides to make him the star of a new video that will make hers seem amazing

I had to google Rebecca Black to make sure she was 18+ and she is so yes I can make this for you! :)

Anonymous said:

Have u ever thought about doing a caption where a guy attempts to confront some dude who slept with his fiance but it ends up with the man slept with the fiance turning the first guy into his ideal busty mistress that decides to keep as his sex slave?

I have't thought of it but this sounds amazing so I’ll totally write this for you! :D

Anonymous said:

Could you do a caption where a boy is turned into a selena gomez doll (Use the pic of her in the doll dress please from WoWP) by a neighbor girl. He gets punished and needs to work on his sissy lisp

YES! OMG! I have had a GIF of this forEVA and I never came up with a story for it. So yes! Yes! Yes! I will like TOTALLY do this for you! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Anonymous said:

I love your Caps. Could you do a cap with Miranda Cosgrove and Jenette McCurdy

Totally! :)

Anonymous said:

Could you do a Rachel Keller Cap

Anonymous said:

Can you do a Mary Elizabeth Winstead

Anonymous said:

Plz do a Felicia Day caption xx

Yes to Rachel Keller, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, AND Felicia Day!

Anonymous said:

Can I request a caption where a boy wanted so badly to be Demi Lovato's replica sissy, and she agreed. Though now he's living it he wants to be free, but Demi just finds her pouting sissy to be that much more adorable?

Ooo, fun! Totally I can make this for you. :)

Anonymous said:

can you do a story about a brilliant prof who cruelly fails a student and gets turned into a super slow witted fat titted thirty year old with a ton of learning disabilities whose blowing her GED tutor

I don’t think I’ll include the learning disabilities (because that’s like a real thing people struggle with, you know?) but the rest of it sounds amazing so I’ll totes do it for ya! :D

There are two messages I got that I’m going to answer separately so if you sent those keep an eye out for them within the hour. Thanks for being patient everyone! I love you all! <3 <3 <3