#he’s just autistic it’s fine <3 he’s overall happy about it!!! just had to process

[lumiereandcogsworth]

you may have already talked about this so forgive me buuuuut what were Belle and Adam's reactions to each pregnancy? and their baby's reactions as they joined in on the fun of learning they would be getting siblings?

i have been SO excited to answer this all day. i love pregnancy discoveries/announcements SO MUCH i just think they’re so cute. (i mean, they can certainly be Not Great news, but in otp land!!!! CUTE!!!!) so without further ado, let’s get INTO IT!!

okay for their first baby… gosh i’ve probably written and rewritten this scene twenty different ways over the years. this is the BIG ONE!! the moment they go from a married couple to PARENTS!!! it’s HUGE it’s LIFE CHANGING!! i think about it all the time. and i think after all these years i finally have a scenario that i’m most happy with, that i’d really love to write and sort of insert into my canon, but just haven’t finished yet. and the funny part is that i’ve already written The Conversation™️ i just have to set it up and context and story and all that jazz. but anyway, i think it’d be such a big thing for both of them.

for belle, she really never imagined she’d get to be a mother. and i think the idea of motherhood, in a way, sort of scared her. she LOVES children for sure, but i think growing up in the village with no real prospects, no chance of getting out and being free, the idea of becoming someone’s domestic little housewife and homemaker was just such an awful idea to her. she wanted true love, she wanted a family of her own, but she just didn’t want it to be in that little provincial town with no hope of escape. and marrying someone and having their kids would just tether her there forever. and she wanted more for herself!!

so then, when she marries, idk, THE PRINCE? and becomes THE QUEEN? everything just changes. she’s not just some guy’s little wife. adam would rather die than let that happen. adam believes in her and pushes her to be as incredible as he knows she is. she has so many responsibilities in her role, she’s a freakin powerhouse!!! so when she does end up pregnant, almost a year after they get married, she’s actually quite excited by it. because she Knows she’s so much more than a homemaker. she doesn’t have to compromise herself to be a wife and mother, as she had once feared. she gets to have a baby with the love of her life and still fulfill all her own dreams. she can really do it all, your honor! so, in short, realizing she’s pregnant that first time is exciting and a huge relief knowing this isn’t the end of her life, just another chapter.

for adam it’s more like AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH !!!??!! PANIC PANIC PANIC WORRY WORRY WORRY !!!!!! but i can elaborate further. essentially, adam was never really keen on fatherhood. surprise surprise, having an abusive father and growing up suppressed and bullied and then directionless and scared and all that… didn’t really enthuse him on the idea that he’d be a great parent for any kid. despite that, of course, he did know deep down he would have to have an heir at some point. probably with some random woman who was deemed a politically advantageous match, someone he didn’t care about, the way he didn’t care about anything. but he ignored that prospect as often as possible, the same way he ignored all his other royal responsibilities. BUT! NOW? he Loves his wife……… he loves his wife so much and everything is different now. he’s a changed man now. he’s trying so hard to see the goodness in the world now. everything is brighter and it’s scary but he’s strengthened by her and supported by her and loved by her and… and… she’s pregnant 🥺

i’ve written this scene so many different ways mostly because adam’s reaction is just so… complicated. he wouldn’t be angry but i don’t think he’d be overtly happy either. he’s changed, he’s grown, but “fatherhood” is such a Deeply Rooted issue for him that i think when belle tells him, he just doesn’t even react at first. he knows he loves her and knows, logically, this is a good thing, so he holds her and starts worrying about her and starts processing this great big change in his life. and he fears becoming his father, despite the fact that it’s his mother’s kind heart beating inside him. and belle tells him there is no one else on this earth she’d rather have children with, because no one would ever believe in her the way he does. the way she believes in him. so they have lots of reassuring talks over the course of the pregnancy, and of course, that beautiful day when their first little one finally arrives, it’s just magic 🥹

GAH! first baby euphoria consumes my soul. i could talk about it forever, clearly. but i’ll move on to baby number TWO!

i actually HAVE written this fic of belle telling adam!! it’s a couple years old now so i’m tempted to not link it but it’s still how i imagine it happens in canon so it’s okay. i shan’t cringe at my old writing!! anyway, it’s christmas 1743 when belle tells adam they’ll be spending NEXT christmas with one more little angel than this year 🥰 adam is a lot happier on the second round, now that he’s been a father for a bit of time, now that he’s positively fallen in LOVE with his daughter, he’s more excited to keep growing their family. renée, however, is not even two yet when this is happening, so she really doesn’t have any thoughts about it lmao. HOWEVER, once her baby sister arrives, she is Not enthused by the sudden lack of attention. i’ve written a cute one about that so i’ll link that as well <3 i really want to write the moment renée meets juliette, i think it’d be sort of funny considering how young she was, but i just haven’t gotten around to it. my fic about the day juliette was born is already so hectic for other reasons, so it just didn’t work to write renée into it.

LASTLY!!! LE PRINCE!!!! it’s like you’re in my HEAD bro because just Yesterday i got a cute idea for how this pregnancy may be discovered. (and i have considered multiple possibilities, this is just the latest and greatest). i was imagining perhaps juliette (age 4) comes down with a cold of sorts, so belle’s been taking care of her. then belle starts to feel sick, and she just brushes it off thinking she caught juliette’s bug. but then juliette gets better and belle is still feeling like GARBAGE. and eventually it clicks that it’s because she’s pregnant <3 i think this third one catches them both off guard just a bit because the girls came so quickly one after the other and then it’s been almost five years and nothin??? i mean it’s the 18th century it’s not like they were doing anything to prevent it. (i am aware of 18th century contraception methods but these two definitely were not using them lmao). regardless, when it finally clicks, adam and belle are both just sort of like “oh shit!!!! NICE!!!!” lmao. they had gotten settled in life with their two girlies, but they’re certainly not mad about adding to their number 💖

as far as the girls’ reactions, i would also like to write that some time, but haven’t yet. in general, i think renée (who was very nearly 7) just EXPLODES with a million questions. she’s also very adamant that this baby Must be another girl (spoiler alert: it was not💙) and she’s just in general trying to be as obnoxiously involved as possible. she’s always tossing out name ideas (usually characters from the books she’s reading, but also lots of flower names like chrysanthemum and hyacinth). she also loves putting her hand on belle’s growing bump and asking “what’s the baby doing now??” like 20 times a day. (she loses her mind whenever she feels him kick🥹)

juliette, on the other hand, takes a long time to process it (it’s the autism, but also she’s just younger). but it sort of helps that, at the time, lumiere & plumette were already expecting their second child. so adam & belle could be like “you know how auntie plumette is gonna have a baby soon? well now so are WE!” and juliette’s like “oooooohhhhh 🤔 (doesn’t get it at all).” but when that baby arrives (a lil lad named xavier🥰🧡) juliette gathers what’s going on. that is a BABY. she does like feeling the baby in mama’s tummy move as well, it’s very wild to her. she’s much more quietly curious about her future little sibling than renée is, but she’s just as excited when they do finally meet him. which i HAVE written 🥹🥹🥹

AND, juliette gets the credit for giving her little brother his lifelong nickname. when her parents told her they were naming him maurice, she very quietly replied “hi, reece☺️” and he is forever called reece/reecy by his family and friends henceforth 🩵 (it also helps to differentiate from his beloved namesake grandfather!)

renée isn’t super excited about having a brother instead of another sister, (especially when lumiere and plumette already have TWO boys. (ENOUGH WITH THE BOYS IN THIS GOSH DANG CASTLE!!!😒)) but she does come to love him!! even though he’s annoying as hell!!! but it’s his gotdamn right as the little brother💛

[echidnana]

hey logan ! i’m thinking of getting into re8, so here i am at the re8 expert’s door for any lore and headcanon’s you have for any of the characters/place settings (i’m fine with ‘spoilers’!) :]

OMG OMG JACK HELLO I AM SO HAPPY TO OBLIGE

i’m adding a cut because i started rambling so the post ended up being a bit long. i tried to organize all the ideas as best i could and made some smaller sections to make it easier to process

also, i wrote this operating on the assumption that this is your first re game. so i might go too in depth for some stuff that you might already know i just like talking about re

TO PREFACE: i haven’t played 8, and i’m not sure if i’ll ever be able to. i’ve watched a bunch of edited play throughs and am currently about 2/3 of the way thorough snapcube’s full play through!

ok so. in my opinion 8 is VERY different from a lot of the other resident evil games in terms of atmosphere/setting. while most of the games before had been very ‘zombie/virus/mad science’ feeling, this game is closer to a fantasy type vibe (although it is all explained by science).

just to give a brief synopsis- ethan winters is the protagonist. his main motive is to rescue his daughter, who was taken into this village that is overrun by monsters. the village is run by mother miranda, who’s sort of a deity to the people of the village. the rest of the land is divided up amongst the four lords. i’m order to save his daughter, ethan has to fight through each of the lords.

my favorite lords

my favorite lords are donna beneviento and karl heisenberg. i hc them both to be trans and autistic :) to be honest, i hc every single resident evil character to be trans lmao

anyways. donna beneviento. she’s the doll maker and her portion of the game is probably my favorite. she only speaks once in the game, and you only see her face once. she’s very reclusive and typically speaks through her dolls. i also personally think she’s the most compassionate of the lords, despite her section being one of the most horrifying. her abilities rely mostly on causing someone’s own mind to sort of turn on itself and feeds into the person’s fears. but yeah, i love her and hc her as autistic :)

karl heisenberg is the magneto dude lmao. i love his parts in the game because he feels very… genuinely unhinged. like he’s HILARIOUS but not really on purpose, he’s just being really showy and dramatic. i personally wasn’t a fan with how they ended his part on the story bc i want to see more of him lmao

ok also. she isn’t a lord, but i adore daniela dimitrescu. she’s one of the daughters of the Tall Vampire Lady and she’s TOTALLY unhinged. even though i have favorite parts of the game, i love all of it. i wasn’t expecting to care that much about the dimitrescu section of the game but honestly all of it was so enjoyable

ethan winters

ethan winters is probably my favorite playable character of resident evil because he’s so… i don’t wanna say stupid, but he’s a dumbass

he’s like a horror movie protagonist that is in the situation they’re in because they made a dumb decision. but i think that’s so funny, especially for resident evil. his character in 7 vs 8 is pretty much the same- his objective is always to protect his family, and i think that’s really good for resident evil as well. most of the past characters’ motives were taking down huge corporations or stopping the spread of a virus, but ethan’s is just to protect his family and get somewhere safe.

tie ins to other games

i figured i’d add a section about this since i love all of the re games so much!

so the first obvious one- chris redfield is a relatively main character in this. he’s the co-protagonist of the original resident evil, so he’s definitely still involved with plot lmao. he was 25 in the first game, so in re8, he’s nearing 50.

at the end of re7, ethan winters meets chris redfield after escaping the baker’s residence. chris was working with blue umbrella at the time I THINK i’m gonna be honest i don’t keep up with what organization he’s with because he switches around so many times. basically he takes ethan and his wife and move them to europe as a sort of witness protection program. i like to think chris became close with them and would go over for dinner

anyways in re8 he gets tangled up in the plot in pretty significant ways. he’s one of the ogs of re so it was definitely fun to see him fighting monsters well into his 40s

there’s a few references to other games throughout re8. my favorites are

- the duke (who is the shop keep) has a line where he says something along the lines of ‘what’re ya buying? heh, just something a friend of mine says.’ this is a reference to re4’s merchant, who would say that when you opened his inventory. i thought this was a really funny implication- that the duke and the merchant know each other.

- one of heisenberg’s lines refers to chris as a ‘boulder-punching asshole’ which is capcom making a joke about themselves. in resident evil 5, there’s a scene where chris redfield literally punches a boulder into an active volcano. it was memed a lot because it was such a ridiculous scene, so this line is capcom acknowledging it

general/setting

i think resident evil 8 did a good job being a great game but also keeping the core resident evil elements. like the plot’s connection to the overall re universe is dumb as hell but it feels very resident evil. personally i feel like it’s super similar to re4 in the sense that it takes the typical zombie genre but gives it a completely different setting or tone than you’d usually expect. like, castles in a zombie survival horror game is BRILLIANT and not something i’d ever expect.

i’m also a huge fan of the sort of ‘mutating into something that isn’t human’ trope and resident evil 8 has SO MUCH of that. all of the lords are basically infected by a parasite that affected them all in a different way. so heisenberg can control metal while donna causes hallucinations and shit.

———

ok i think that’s most of my thoughts on it… re8 is such a good game and even though the plot can be dumb and full of contradictions the campiness and seriousness is balanced near perfectly in re8. one of the issues some of the past re games had is they took themselves too seriously. re8 does a great job at not taking itself too seriously in order to be a fun game.

i hope this wasn’t too long! i love re8 to death and will always jump to talk abt it lol. ethan winters is one of my favorite re characters ever, and this game is full of great ethan moments. i hope you enjoy it!! it’s definitely a great experience regardless of if you care about the lord and connections to other games.

[alexeiadrae]

I Like Being With My Autistic Child

One of my counselor friends wanted to refer another parent of an autistic child to me. I told her thanks, but my approach to raising an autistic child is so radical those parents often shut me out before they give my ideas a fair shake. Here’s the thing, unlike them, I like my son. I enjoy being with him. I don’t see him as a frustration or something that ruined my life, and I get really angry at parents who think otherwise because I see them make mountains out of molehills and doing things counterproductive to their children’s needs, and then blame their child for not thriving.

Here’s the other thing. Other people really like my son. He started swim lessons a few weeks ago, and when I told them he was autistic and didn’t talk much I could tell they were bracing themselves for problems. Instead, one his first day he jumped happily into the pool and was all smiles as he followed directions and they ended up liking him. They quickly moved him to a more advanced class.

And while I did have to quit my full time job to go into private practice so I could take him to therapy and get him out of his horrible school system A. getting into private practice was a career change I needed to make but spent too long being scared to pursue it to do it and B. I blame a system that does not support families who have children with divergent needs. It’s not my son’s fault he was born in a crummy place. That’s mine for not doing more to get some place more supportive before he was born.

What is our day like? I woke when I heard my kids in the living room. My son is 7 and can’t talk much, but he’s recently become fascinated with toilet humor and was gleefully telling me all about how his sister made a fart. I gave him some clothes to get dressed. He usually dresses on his own, but this week he hasn’t for whatever reason. I got him started and towards then end he took over. I’m confident that next week he’ll be back to dressing himself no problem. He then sat with his sister for a bit and they played on their dad’s computer while he asked for something he could dance to, so I pulled up some Youtube videos of our favorite Broadway performances. I’ve got a son who watches Broadway with me! Then I pulled up a video of all of the Doctor Who openings, and he that made him real happy and break out into a huge grin as he spent the next 20 minutes watching it and exclaiming “Tardis!” and “It’s the Doctor!” when they would appear.

The it was time to take him to the place he gets Greenspan therapy. He’s used to the routine and knows what is coming when I put the dog up. When I dropped him off he signed his name on the sign in sheet. When I picked him up he was playing tag with his speech therapist and having a wonderful time. The speech therapist talked about how funny he is and how he says the funniest things, especially when coupled with his vocal inflections. He doesn’t say much but when he does he is funny (and he is in on the joke). The moment I picked him up I started prepping him to remember that it was a swim day. Swim lessons are still new to the routine, so I made sure I told him multiple times to prepare him. I told him when I picked him up, I told him when he got into the car and buckled in, I told him when I stopped for gas, and before I let him out of the car I told him we were going in to put our swimsuits on. He does love to swim and got changed easily and chilled with his sister for a few minutes, and then we drove to the pool.

No problems at the pool. He followed directions and was all smiles and held his own with the boy his age he was paired with. As we were leaving his sister had to potty, and he decided he wanted to wash his hands. He used a bit too much soap and didn’t want to rinse completely, but you know what? It wasn’t worth making a BFD over. I asked him to grab some towels and he did and threw them away and went home with slightly soapy hands.

Here is where I think so many parents go wrong. Making BFDs of small things. When your sense of the world is out of focus because of sensory issues, I figure those small things help him gain a sense of control over it. It doesn’t hurt anyone if his hands are a bit soapy. For all I know he’s getting something from the sensation.

We got home, had dinner, and then I locked myself in my office for a bit to do some work remotely while my husband took over. When it was bedtime I came out and we read a few stories and he showed me some of the reading skills he is learning. We then sang some songs, and he threw the bedsheets over us so it was like singing under a tent. He then asked me to tickle his feet for a bit before he went to bed and all told, he’s easier to get down for the night than his sister.

Overall I’m struck by how normal our life is. He doesn’t talk, but her interacts with us, he jokes with us, he does a lot of what a typical 7 year old does. This isn’t a tragedy! And it isn’t a burden.

It was not always this easy, but then it’s also not easy when kids are NT. Ages 3-4 were HARD. He had meltdowns, he was aggressive with his sister, he didn’t sleep well. But those things that was difficult then are no longer problems. And no, we did not get to this point by me forcing my will on him and being abusive and controlling. We got to it by me understanding that there is a reason behind his behavior and giving him as much control as possible.

From the ages of 3-4 he had sleep problems. I would get home after working a 10 hour shift and grab “Harry Potter.” I would then read the books out loud until he fell asleep. This went from being a 2 hour process to a 10 minute one, and then it got to the point where one day he pushed me out of his room and went to bed on his own, and has done that ever since. I have no idea what caused the change, but it was a change he instigated. I also don’t know why falling asleep was difficult for him, just that it was. So I just took a book that would be fun to read together and made the most of it.

He would also wake up in the middle of the night and not go back to bed. Eventually I just parked myself in his bedroom and told him he couldn’t leave the room, but if he played nicely it would be fine, and then I slept in his bed while he played in his room (I am an extremely light sleeper and would have known if he tried to leave the room). Making it a power struggle would have just made it worse and I got my needs met (sleep and knowing he was safe) and he felt like he had some control over his environment. I told another mom with an autistic child who wouldn’t sleep about this and she just looked at me like I was crazy. But he sleeps through the night now. And I sleep in my own bed.

Meltdowns were another things we struggled with from the age of 3-4. I spent a lot of time teaching him to learn to manage his emotions. Even NT children have difficulty with this and need to learn how to regulate their emotions. Brain studies have shown that the parts of the brain that regulate the ability to control strong emotions is not developed in toddlers and that by expecting them to have this ability we are setting them up to fail. 

What worked for us was teaching B to blow bubbles. Bubble mix and wands are pretty cheap. When people get upset they forget to exhale and expel the carbon dioxide from their system, and this causes them to get even more angry. So once he learned to do this while calm, when he would get upset I would grab the bubbles and prompt him to blow them. What I learned was that he really did want to calm down, and he REALLY latched on to this. For awhile I had tubes of bubbles all over the house, but he also quickly got to a point where if he got upset and I didn’t have bubbles with me I would prompt, “blow bubbles” and he would start exhaling air like he was. 

Studies show if we teach children how to regulate these emotions when they are young then they grow out of meltdowns and other aggressive behavior, and I found that to be the case for my son. Now when he gets upset he goes to his room until he calms himself down. When he has gotten upset at therapy, usually when another child hurts him, he tries to get to a quit place to calm down, and his case manager is astonished at how he doesn’t hit back and how well he manages himself when it happens. I’ve also noticed he does not like people to see him when he is upset. Having a meltdown in public would be very embarrassing for him.

For awhile (3-4, again) he was aggressive, especially with his sister. I would ask reflecting questions, “was that nice or not nice? How could you have acted in a nice way?” He couldn’t answer me, however, he did think over his actions. would suggest and model things he could have done (say, “I am angry”, count to 10, etc). And it worked. He’s no longer aggressive with her. A few times things were so bad I had to take my daughter to my bedroom and lock the door for her safety until he calmed down (he is 3.5 years older, and he has always been huge for his age and incredibly strong, he rolled over the day he was born, and he really did not realize his own strength), and since he did not like being away from us he quickly learned to get it together and try the things I was modeling.

There are some things that I can’t explain how they worked, aside from that they did. For the longest time I would have to bring his backpack into the house. I would ask him to get his backpack and he wouldn’t. I was upset about it and felt like a pack mule, but I went with the assumption that he couldn’t understand what I wanted or that there was an executive function problem going on and that for whatever reason he couldn’t pick up his backpack. I kept asking though. Now? He’s 100%. I ask him to pick up his backpack and he does, and then when we get into the house he puts it on the hook. I did not train him on how to do this. One day he just started doing it, though. The only way I can explain this is that I was right about there being a reason interfering with his ability to pick up the backpack, and once he developed the skill he was happy to follow directions. Kids genuinely want to please and we tend to overestimate the abilities of what even an NT child should be able to do. Assuming that my children are trying their best has always been something that paid off in the long run.

It boils down to a few rules.

1. If they are engaging in a behavior, then they have a good reason for it. We may not know what that reason is, just that there is a reason. It may be a behavior that needs to change, however, since there is a reason, we need to find a new behavior that fulfills the needs of the old behavior and is safe.

2. Just because they can’t talk doesn’t mean that questions that help them reflect on their behavior aren’t helpful. Ask your child reflecting questions. DON’T LABEL THEM WITH BEHAVIORS SUCH AS “DEFIANT.” They aren’t helpful and they are damaging. Separate your child from the behavior so they see that it is something they can control and change, and that their behavior does not define who they are.

3. We have to teach children how to cope with strong emotions and impulsivity. This is not just something they are born with. Even NT children need to be taught how to do this. It is very hard when they are 3-4, however, it gets easier when they are 5. Studies show that children who are taught this when they are 3 are no longer aggressive when they are 5. It worked for my autistic son, so I don’t see autism children as being immune to learning how to do this.

4. Give them as much control over their environment as you can and avoid power struggles. If they want to wear their shirt inside out it just isn’t worth battling them for it. Save the battles for things like holding your hand when they cross the street. If they want to go outside on a cold day without a jacket, bring a jacket along and wait for them to ask. (my son would in under 5 minutes). If they want to wear mismatched stuff, oh well. Ask yourself, “who is this hurting?” and if the answer is “no one” let it go.

5.Remember what you like and love about your children. And make sure your child knows it. Having something to work towards is extremely motivating. If you see the good and the potential of your child they will rise to that.

6. Radical acceptance.

My son isn’t a tragedy. A society that is so intolerant of people who are different is the tragedy.