#anyway just wanted to throw that in but wanted the post to remain in canon 💖

[lumiereandcogsworth]

you may have already talked about this so forgive me buuuuut what were Belle and Adam's reactions to each pregnancy? and their baby's reactions as they joined in on the fun of learning they would be getting siblings?

i have been SO excited to answer this all day. i love pregnancy discoveries/announcements SO MUCH i just think they’re so cute. (i mean, they can certainly be Not Great news, but in otp land!!!! CUTE!!!!) so without further ado, let’s get INTO IT!!

okay for their first baby… gosh i’ve probably written and rewritten this scene twenty different ways over the years. this is the BIG ONE!! the moment they go from a married couple to PARENTS!!! it’s HUGE it’s LIFE CHANGING!! i think about it all the time. and i think after all these years i finally have a scenario that i’m most happy with, that i’d really love to write and sort of insert into my canon, but just haven’t finished yet. and the funny part is that i’ve already written The Conversation™️ i just have to set it up and context and story and all that jazz. but anyway, i think it’d be such a big thing for both of them.

for belle, she really never imagined she’d get to be a mother. and i think the idea of motherhood, in a way, sort of scared her. she LOVES children for sure, but i think growing up in the village with no real prospects, no chance of getting out and being free, the idea of becoming someone’s domestic little housewife and homemaker was just such an awful idea to her. she wanted true love, she wanted a family of her own, but she just didn’t want it to be in that little provincial town with no hope of escape. and marrying someone and having their kids would just tether her there forever. and she wanted more for herself!!

so then, when she marries, idk, THE PRINCE? and becomes THE QUEEN? everything just changes. she’s not just some guy’s little wife. adam would rather die than let that happen. adam believes in her and pushes her to be as incredible as he knows she is. she has so many responsibilities in her role, she’s a freakin powerhouse!!! so when she does end up pregnant, almost a year after they get married, she’s actually quite excited by it. because she Knows she’s so much more than a homemaker. she doesn’t have to compromise herself to be a wife and mother, as she had once feared. she gets to have a baby with the love of her life and still fulfill all her own dreams. she can really do it all, your honor! so, in short, realizing she’s pregnant that first time is exciting and a huge relief knowing this isn’t the end of her life, just another chapter.

for adam it’s more like AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH !!!??!! PANIC PANIC PANIC WORRY WORRY WORRY !!!!!! but i can elaborate further. essentially, adam was never really keen on fatherhood. surprise surprise, having an abusive father and growing up suppressed and bullied and then directionless and scared and all that… didn’t really enthuse him on the idea that he’d be a great parent for any kid. despite that, of course, he did know deep down he would have to have an heir at some point. probably with some random woman who was deemed a politically advantageous match, someone he didn’t care about, the way he didn’t care about anything. but he ignored that prospect as often as possible, the same way he ignored all his other royal responsibilities. BUT! NOW? he Loves his wife……… he loves his wife so much and everything is different now. he’s a changed man now. he’s trying so hard to see the goodness in the world now. everything is brighter and it’s scary but he’s strengthened by her and supported by her and loved by her and… and… she’s pregnant 🥺

i’ve written this scene so many different ways mostly because adam’s reaction is just so… complicated. he wouldn’t be angry but i don’t think he’d be overtly happy either. he’s changed, he’s grown, but “fatherhood” is such a Deeply Rooted issue for him that i think when belle tells him, he just doesn’t even react at first. he knows he loves her and knows, logically, this is a good thing, so he holds her and starts worrying about her and starts processing this great big change in his life. and he fears becoming his father, despite the fact that it’s his mother’s kind heart beating inside him. and belle tells him there is no one else on this earth she’d rather have children with, because no one would ever believe in her the way he does. the way she believes in him. so they have lots of reassuring talks over the course of the pregnancy, and of course, that beautiful day when their first little one finally arrives, it’s just magic 🥹

GAH! first baby euphoria consumes my soul. i could talk about it forever, clearly. but i’ll move on to baby number TWO!

i actually HAVE written this fic of belle telling adam!! it’s a couple years old now so i’m tempted to not link it but it’s still how i imagine it happens in canon so it’s okay. i shan’t cringe at my old writing!! anyway, it’s christmas 1743 when belle tells adam they’ll be spending NEXT christmas with one more little angel than this year 🥰 adam is a lot happier on the second round, now that he’s been a father for a bit of time, now that he’s positively fallen in LOVE with his daughter, he’s more excited to keep growing their family. renée, however, is not even two yet when this is happening, so she really doesn’t have any thoughts about it lmao. HOWEVER, once her baby sister arrives, she is Not enthused by the sudden lack of attention. i’ve written a cute one about that so i’ll link that as well <3 i really want to write the moment renée meets juliette, i think it’d be sort of funny considering how young she was, but i just haven’t gotten around to it. my fic about the day juliette was born is already so hectic for other reasons, so it just didn’t work to write renée into it.

LASTLY!!! LE PRINCE!!!! it’s like you’re in my HEAD bro because just Yesterday i got a cute idea for how this pregnancy may be discovered. (and i have considered multiple possibilities, this is just the latest and greatest). i was imagining perhaps juliette (age 4) comes down with a cold of sorts, so belle’s been taking care of her. then belle starts to feel sick, and she just brushes it off thinking she caught juliette’s bug. but then juliette gets better and belle is still feeling like GARBAGE. and eventually it clicks that it’s because she’s pregnant <3 i think this third one catches them both off guard just a bit because the girls came so quickly one after the other and then it’s been almost five years and nothin??? i mean it’s the 18th century it’s not like they were doing anything to prevent it. (i am aware of 18th century contraception methods but these two definitely were not using them lmao). regardless, when it finally clicks, adam and belle are both just sort of like “oh shit!!!! NICE!!!!” lmao. they had gotten settled in life with their two girlies, but they’re certainly not mad about adding to their number 💖

as far as the girls’ reactions, i would also like to write that some time, but haven’t yet. in general, i think renée (who was very nearly 7) just EXPLODES with a million questions. she’s also very adamant that this baby Must be another girl (spoiler alert: it was not💙) and she’s just in general trying to be as obnoxiously involved as possible. she’s always tossing out name ideas (usually characters from the books she’s reading, but also lots of flower names like chrysanthemum and hyacinth). she also loves putting her hand on belle’s growing bump and asking “what’s the baby doing now??” like 20 times a day. (she loses her mind whenever she feels him kick🥹)

juliette, on the other hand, takes a long time to process it (it’s the autism, but also she’s just younger). but it sort of helps that, at the time, lumiere & plumette were already expecting their second child. so adam & belle could be like “you know how auntie plumette is gonna have a baby soon? well now so are WE!” and juliette’s like “oooooohhhhh 🤔 (doesn’t get it at all).” but when that baby arrives (a lil lad named xavier🥰🧡) juliette gathers what’s going on. that is a BABY. she does like feeling the baby in mama’s tummy move as well, it’s very wild to her. she’s much more quietly curious about her future little sibling than renée is, but she’s just as excited when they do finally meet him. which i HAVE written 🥹🥹🥹

AND, juliette gets the credit for giving her little brother his lifelong nickname. when her parents told her they were naming him maurice, she very quietly replied “hi, reece☺️” and he is forever called reece/reecy by his family and friends henceforth 🩵 (it also helps to differentiate from his beloved namesake grandfather!)

renée isn’t super excited about having a brother instead of another sister, (especially when lumiere and plumette already have TWO boys. (ENOUGH WITH THE BOYS IN THIS GOSH DANG CASTLE!!!😒)) but she does come to love him!! even though he’s annoying as hell!!! but it’s his gotdamn right as the little brother💛

[beyondthesefourwalls]

A Change to Everything

Summary: Marriage wasn’t an option for you. Bradley knew this and had promised you that what you had is and would always be enough for him. A few overpriced rings wouldn’t change that, so long as you promised to love him forever without one. But he buys you one anyway, and despite every promise you made to yourself, you wonder what it would be like if maybe, just maybe, you ever decided to put it on. 

Pairing: Bradley Bradshaw x Reader (no use of y/n, so can be read as an unnamed OC)

Word Count: 4.7K

Warnings: Talks of a toxic marriage with hints of abuse, anxiety, canon-compliant near death experiences. 

Note: I'm so excited to be posting for this fandom for the first time! I haven't written anything in over a year so I'm a little rusty, but it feels so good to get this out.

The biggest, biggest thank you to @roosterforme​ for all of her help with this! Em, you are the best sounding board a girl struggling to get back into the game could ask for.

_____

“I want to show you something.” 

You looked up from the book you’d been working your way through. Bradley stood at the end of the couch, his eyes soft and focused entirely on you. The look on his face was one he really only used with you - open and unguarded. Trusting. One that came from years of knowing and loving one another. 

Without a word, you closed the book and set it down on the coffee table. You adjusted yourself to sit up a little straighter against the throw pillows as Bradley sat on the edge of the couch beside you. One hand settled on your thigh as the other revealed a small, hunter green velvet box. 

If it wasn’t for the soft squeeze of his fingers against your skin, grounding you like he was always so good at, you were sure you would have choked on the breath that almost got stuck in your throat. You stared at it, processing what you knew it was, heart thudding hard against your chest cavity. 

There was a growing weight of dread and disbelief in your stomach. There was no point in hoping it wouldn’t show on your face; he could see you better than anyone, even when you tried to hide. Especially then. 

“What is that?” 

A small indulgent smile tugged at his lips. The scar near his mouth that you loved to run your finger over lifted with the movement. With one smooth motion he opened the box. Despite the anxiety, the ring you knew would be waiting for you took your breath away. It was a thin, delicate band, lined with small, shimmering diamonds. There was a stunning pear shaped stone snug in the middle. It sparkled under the dimmed light from the lamp in the corner of the room and the dancing flames of the candle you had burning on the coffee table. Even without trying it on, you knew it would fit on your finger perfectly. Once upon a time it was everything you would have wanted. 

“A ring.” 

“Yes. So I see.” Your stomach twisted, but you couldn’t look away. “Why do you have it?” 

“I’m not proposing,” he clarified. At that, you finally lifted your eyes from the stunning piece of jewelry, and were relieved when you heard him snap the box shut. The same expression that was on his face when he approached you remained now, not deterred by the reaction you’d been having. Fleetingly, you thought you felt something akin to disappointment shoot through you, but that was an absurdity in and of itself, so instead you focused on the disbelief of his statement. “I’m sure that’s what it looks like.” 

You nodded, still trying to catch your breath. The ball of anxiety that resided in your throat shrunk by a margin. He wasn’t proposing. 

He wasn’t going to leave you when you inevitably said no.

The thought of marriage used to excite you. Like many little girls growing up, you had dreams of a poofy white gown and sparkling diamonds, a tall cake and dancing and standing in front of all the people you knew as you professed your love to the man you’d spend the rest of your life with. And that’s exactly what you got. For a moment, at least. 

At 23 years old, young and not knowing any better, you married a man who swore that he loved you just as much as you believed you loved him. You had been dating for two years and you knew what you were doing. You got the dress and the flowers and a diamond bigger than any 23-year-old should be wearing and that only the old southern money he came from could buy. You got married in a church for a denomination you didn’t believe in but that his mother insisted upon, before God and everyone you knew and even more that you didn’t know.

Things were good. Great, even. For a little while. But only a few months into your happily ever after, things started to change. Outwardly, you were still the Cinderella that got her Prince Charming. But behind closed doors, Prince Charming wasn’t so…well, charming. He would always get a little too drunk. A little too loud. His suggestions for you became demands: wear your hair like this, have it be this color, dress like this, eat like this, hang out with these people, quit your job. Your decisions were no longer yours. You hadn’t realized that taking his last name was the same as signing your life away. You had never regretted anything more. 

You spent five years in a continuous, vicious circle of your own hell. Getting out of it was the hardest, yet best thing you had ever done. You lost everything and everyone in the process, but you gained back your sense of self. 

Now, you looked at marriage like a trap. It was a steel doored cage you would never, ever put yourself in again. You didn’t know if you would survive the suffocation again. 

You met Bradley two years after you signed the divorce papers. He came into your life when you were finally learning to be confident in who you were and what you had to offer again. The smile he gave you that first day didn’t take your breath away; rather, it felt like it finally reinflated your lungs after so long of being deprived. 

Three and a half years together and you knew you would be with him for the rest of your life. 

You would do almost anything for him. But you couldn’t do this. 

Bradley knew that. It was a conversation you had pretty early on, actually. He had told you about his parents and the marriage they had. It felt like bursting a bubble almost when you gently explained that marriage wasn’t in the cards for you again. He had taken it surprisingly well. You had never shied away from telling him your reasoning why. He had promised you then that what you had is and would always be enough for him. A few overpriced rings wouldn’t change that, so long as you promised to love him forever without one. 

It was an easy compromise. 

You hadn’t thought seriously on the subject since. Not when moving in together, or adopting a cat together, or when you picked up your life to move with him when the Navy decided it was time. It hadn’t been necessary to think on or discuss; the matter was a non-issue. 

Bradley’s voice brought you out of your memories. His hand was a nice pressure on your leg, his thumb smoothing the skin on the inside of your thigh a comfort. Back and forth, over and over again, bringing you back into the present like only he could. 

“Don’t get me wrong, I’d con you into marrying me in a heartbeat if you weren’t so much smarter than me, sweetheart.” 

The smile on his face was playful now. His eyebrows were pulled together in mischief. You couldn’t help yourself; the smallest of smiles pulled at your lips, too. 

“But I know your stance on the subject. We’ve talked about it, and I get it. Despite the absolute rager we would throw as a reception, we don’t need a piece of paper to prove how much we love one another.” 

You didn’t, and knowing that only made you love him more. You and Bradley loved one another in your entirety. It wasn’t perfect, but it was a constant reminder that goodness exists. It injected a honey-like sweetness into your bloodstream. He made your soul warm, and the trust you had between you made you confident in the knowledge that you warmed him, too. 

“So why buy the ring? It doesn’t exactly look like something you could get for cheap out of a gumball machine.” 

“No,” he laughed, “that it wasn’t.” 

He set the box down and grabbed your hand. You always loved how big his was in comparison, though small wasn’t how you felt. 

Safe. Comforted.

“I bought it because….well….I guess because I’m yours. I’m yours, and you’re mine. I love you more than I ever thought I’d be capable of loving someone, you know? And you make me feel like I deserve to be loved like that in return, which you do with no hesitation. What we have…it’s special. So I guess I bought it because I want you to know that if you ever change your mind, I’m ready.  You just gotta let me know. But ring or no ring, I’m gonna love you forever, baby, okay? In this life and whatever comes next. $50 for a marriage license won’t change it.”

You thought on his words for a moment before you nodded and held out your pinky. He was interlacing his with yours before he even knew the agreement, because Bradley would always follow where you lead. Ring or no ring. 

 “If I ever change my mind, I promise to go half on that piece of paper with you.”

“Deal.”

——

Bradley had been called back to Top Gun. It was an honor almost unheard of and even as a civilian you knew it had to be important. It was a 3-4 week deployment; nothing in comparison to what you had weathered together before, but something about it made those weeks feel like years. 

He was the one who called you when it was all over and done with. From your shared bed in Norfolk, you cried as he recounted two ejections; one successful and one that never came. He was presumed dead for nearly four hours before the over-confident blonde you had only ever heard stories about defied every expectation of his callsign. 

It had happened almost three full days ago and this was the first time you had heard about it. 

“Why didn’t anyone call me?” 

He was quiet on the other line but you heard what he wasn’t saying loud and clear.  

You were his emergency contact, yes. The one that would be alerted should he ever wind up in the hospital or the first person they’d look for if he ever failed to report. But you were not his wife, and therefore you were not his next of kin. Your door wouldn’t be the one the United States Navy knocked on, despite it being his door too. A folded flag wouldn’t be placed in your hand as his casket was lowered into the ground. 

You hung up after he promised to call you again when the sun was up, and with the reassurance that he’d be home soon. 

Sleep didn’t find you again. Instead, you thought of Bradley turning around to fly after the man he hadn’t spoken to since his mother’s funeral. You could so clearly see him floating through the snowy trees with his parachute flying above him. You thought of them flying in a jet that hadn’t seen the sky in decades, pulling desperately at ejection handles. You squeezed your eyes shut when you saw that same jet explode into millions of little pieces of glass and metal, Hangman not making it in time to save the day. 

Phoenix would have been the one to call you, eventually. The two of you were fairly close from when they were stationed together before your latest move and she would know that no one else would have alerted you, and as a friend, she would have wanted to check on you, too. You hated the thought of putting that responsibility on her.

A whimper escapes when you realize it would have been three days before you knew.  

Throwing the comforter off of you, you flipped the bedside lamp on before making your way to the closet. 

It was nearing 4am and you found yourself sitting on the floor in front of the fireproof metal safe that you and Bradley kept there. 

It had been six months since you saw the ring. Bradley put it there that night after the two of you made love on the couch, and there it had remained. The green velvet box sat on top of both your birth certificates and beside the case where he kept all the medals that once upon a time belonged to his father. You had thought of it a few times in the last half a year, but hadn’t laid eyes on it again. You didn’t need to, really; you could still envision it clearly in your mind. 

You didn’t move to pick it up. Just seeing the box it was kept in had tears welling in your eyes again. 

You loved him. Oh, you loved him so much that it ached. He was your family and you were his. You were all other had in the name of it and all the other needed, too. You don’t think that you would recover if anything were to happen for him to be taken away from you. You would mourn him so deeply that you’re sure your fundamental state of being would be altered for good. That’s how he would deserve to be mourned, after all. 

It made you angry that a piece of paper would delay that. The government would think there wasn’t anyone to miss him, that he had no one, but you were right here. 

Bradley loved you enough to buy a ring that he knew you would probably never wear, so that he was prepared in the off chance that you ever changed your mind. He was just as happy for it to remain locked away in the back of your closet for the rest of your lives. 

Why, suddenly, did that not feel like enough? 

______

The Uranium Mission came with a lot of changes to your and Bradley’s life. A reconciliation years overdue. An adjustment of time zones and weather patterns brought on by a permanent move from Virginia to California. Having not just Phoenix around on a regular basis again, but a whole squadron of people you could confidently call friends after only a few weeks of knowing them. Suddenly, your found family of two was expanded. 

Despite that, the feeling of something missing hadn’t gone away.

You didn’t tell Bradley about going into the safe that night and how the thought of losing him had you reconsidering every commitment you had made to yourself in the last six years since you started out on your own. He didn’t deserve a reactionary response from you for something this significant and you couldn’t confidently say that’s not what it was. Something that big deserved more than a pre-dawn rash decision. It deserved thought. 

You pondered often what it meant. It was almost always in the back of your mind now. The ring, and all that it would hold. 

You and Bradley couldn’t live on base. It was something you had dealt with in Virginia, but Norfolk real estate was definitely not the same as San Diego. Finding a place to live was difficult. 

The joke was made after the fifth rejection on a house in the same amount of days. You had been living out of a hotel since you arrived two weeks ago and you were tired of being confined to the same four walls. 

“Jesus, maybe getting married wouldn’t be so bad afterall. At this rate, we’re going to be moving into our storage unit.” 

You could feel him staring at you. He didn’t speak, and you focused intently on trying to appear like you were still focusing on scrolling through listings on your laptop. Your cat rested on a pile of blankets in the corner of the small couch the room allowed, dozing the evening away. The TV played an old episode of Unsolved Mysteries in the background. Right when the lack of response from him was veering into awkward silence, Bradley snorted. The sound pulled a smile at your lips. He climbed on the hotel room bed, closing your laptop and stretching to set it on the bedside table. He settled on top of you. You never felt as safe as you did then when his weight pressed into you like this. 

“Can I help you, Lieutenant Bradshaw?” 

He nodded, his face reflecting the utmost seriousness. “We should take advantage of this room while we can, Sweetheart. Something tells me the ventilation in the storage unit won't be as kind to us.” 

You were laughing when he connected your lips. The ring popped into your head again, only for a moment, before he made every thought disappear like only he could. 

_____

You were wearing a fancy dress in an even fancier venue, surrounded by a sea of white uniforms. A promotion ceremony for all of those who partook in the mission that nearly took Bradley away from you. The thought still hurt your heart, but you were so damn proud of the newly pinned Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw. 

You had been in North Island for three months, and had finally found and moved into a house six weeks ago. It was a two story home about twenty minutes from base with a fenced in yard you didn’t know you wanted until you had it. Something told you that you and Bradley would be enjoying sunrises, rocking together on the back porch for many years to come. 

This was your first major event on the west coast. You had been introduced to more people than you could possibly recall. For the first time in your relationship, the process annoyed you. Not for the act itself, of course. It was how you were being introduced. 

It had never bothered you before when Bradley introduced you as his girlfriend. When people found out how long you’ve been together, you often got asked when you were finally going to get married. Often, jokes were made on Bradley’s behalf about having the courage to “put a ring on it.” He always took it in stride, the both of you knowing it was really you preventing the progression. 

You were an hour and a half into the night and going through the same conversation for the third time. This time, it was Admiral Simpson’s wife.  

“Four years? My goodness, when’s the wedding?” 

Bradley’s laugh was familiar and you knew what he would say before he said it because you had heard it so many times before. You had always let him handle these situations. A lighthearted response about not worrying because he knew how good he had it and that he wouldn’t be letting you get away anytime soon, followed by a subtle but effective change in subject. Before he could go through the motions, though, you found yourself uttering a response all on your own.

“Oh, maybe one day.” 

It was poised, polite, and said in a way that made it seem like you said it all the time. Mrs. Simpson laughed, none the wiser to how you just went off script. Out of your peripheral vision you saw Bradley’s eyes snap to you so quickly that you momentarily worried about whiplash. 

“How long have you and Vice-Admiral Simpson been married, if you don’t mind me asking?” 

In for a penny, in for a pound, you thought to yourself. You were never one to willingly bring up anything dealing with marriage. Yet here you were, initiating an entire conversation about it. As she went on about their history together and the various moves throughout their 18 years together, Bradley’s left hand squeezed your hip where it had been resting. 

You turned your head, meeting his gaze straight on. For a moment, it was just the two of you here in this room. His dark eyes were wide, earnest, but confused. You knew now wasn’t the time to discuss it. You hoped the look you sent him in return reassured him that you would and that there was nothing to worry about.

There was a barely noticeable nod of his head and he raised his glass of scotch to his lips as he turned back to the conversation. 

His hand remained flexed on your hip. 

You wondered what it would feel like if there was a ring on that hand to press into your skin and if you would be able to feel it through your dress. 

______

There was a tension in Bradley’s shoulders on the drive home that night. He was keyed up in the way he always was when he didn’t quite know what to make of a situation. Anxious, hesitant and searching, but this time there was an underlying feeling of something that resembled excitement. 

You settled your hand over his where it was placed on your thigh. When you came to a red light, you cleared your throat and he turned to meet your eyes. Even in the dim artificial light seeping into the front seat, he was the most beautiful man you had ever seen. 

He cleared his throat. Once, twice. His voice still sounded just this side of rough when he spoke. 

“You’ll let me know?” 

You adjusted your hands so you could interlock your pinkies, bringing them up so you could place the softest of kisses against his. “Only if you’re still willing to go half on the license.” 

You smiled at him and the sound of his soft laughter warmed you from the inside out. The light changed and he pulled his gaze from yours. You let your hands fall to your lap and he took the chance to interlock them together. He squeezed gently. You knew it was his way of acknowledging that yes, of course he would. 

His thumb ran back and forth over the ring finger on your left hand for the remainder of the drive home, and you didn’t bother to smother the smile or the shiver that went down your spine. 

If he noticed as he took it off of you that the dress you wore was the same shade as the box locked away in your closet, he didn’t comment on it. 

_____

He didn’t bring marriage up again in the following few months, and neither did you. It had been over a year at this point since he first showed you the ring, and things had continued as they always had. 

Sometimes, though, you would catch him looking at you. This was nothing new, of course; Bradley wasn’t shy about letting his eyes remain on you for longer than was socially acceptable sometimes. But the look in his eyes was different. There was longing there, a cautious sort of optimism that he hadn’t let you see before. You were surprised when it didn’t scare you away or make you feel guilty for putting it there. Before, it would have been nothing but false hope. Now, though, now it felt almost like an oncoming revelation. 

You found yourself looking at him with that same look, but you were careful only to let him catch you sometimes. It didn’t matter what he was doing. Cooking dinner, doing the dishes, folding laundry, reading a user manual for a multi-million dollar plane he already knew inside and out. Even now, as he laid partially underneath you on the couch, his eyes trained on the mid-fall Sunday football game playing on the TV, something you were usually just as entranced by, you couldn't help but stare. 

Anything Bradley did, you had a hard time looking away. 

Despite swearing you would never, ever do so, you couldn’t help but to compare him to your ex-husband at this moment. 

When you were married, you felt like you were a burden more than anything. A showpiece there to hold onto his arm, but only when he needed it. You were a pretty face and a warm body, micromanaged to the point where even a second out of line wouldn’t be tolerated, yet somehow he never cared about what you did, either. You were a caged bird afraid to chirp.

Bradley, though..he never let you feel like your voice and opinion didn’t matter - he never fought to silence you and instead encouraged the complete opposite. The love he showed you didn’t come with any stipulations. 

Your ex-husband always made you feel small, while Bradley made you feel invincible. Protected, safe, supported, but like you could do anything you wanted all on your own. There was no reason to be afraid when you were with him.

The differences were vast, like black and white and oil and water. 

Clarity washed over you slowly, then. It was a conclusion months in the making. Years, really. 

Bradley was the best man you’ve ever known. He proved time and time again how different he was from the man you were with before him.

Why, then, should you think marriage with him wouldn’t be different, too?

“I’ll be right back,” you kissed his cheek as you untangled yourself from his arms and stood from the couch. By the time you were halfway up the stairs, you were taking them two at a time in your haste to get to the bedroom. You were almost panting by the time you made it to the walk-in closet. Your heart thudded in your chest so hard you could hear it in your ears as you entered the code to the safe. This was it. This was it and you were so excited. You barely remembered to close and lock it back after you retrieved what you were looking for. You practically sprinted across the landing and back down the stairs. 

You were moving so fast and so hard that Bradley was already looking at you when you slid back in front of the couch, hearing you coming before you even hit the stairs. His eyebrows were raised in question, but you didn’t let him open his mouth to question your unusual behavior before you were breaking the silence yourself. 

“I’ve changed my mind,” you said simply. His eyes were already widening as you tossed the ring box to him, as if he knew what you meant without the added assistance. You suppose, if he had thought about it even half as much as you had in the last year, that he did. “As it turns out, the cost for a marriage license in California is more expensive than in Virginia. But I’m still down to split it if you are.” 

He jumped from the couch and then he was kissing you. He lifted you off the ground, spinning you happily. The green velvet box was digging into your lower back where he held you secure against him. You giggled against each other’s lips. When he set you back down, there was a lightness, a joy, that you hadn’t seen in his eyes before. There was a brief twinge of regret that you made him wait so long to experience that feeling; for you to witness it. If he was beautiful before, he is breathtaking now. 

“I can do this properly,” he said, but you were shaking your head before he was even finished. 

“Now is perfect. Just like this. If you want.”

“If I want?” He laughed, incredulous and gleeful. He dropped to a knee with no further prompting, popping the box open as he went. 

“Baby…sunshine….love of my life…holder of my heart and happiness….woman who can get me going like no other in every innuendo of that phrase.”

“Bradley!”

You were both laughing and oh, this was so, so perfect. 

“I love you so much. More than anything in this world and all the others. I’ll love you in this life and the next and the one after that, too. Marry me, baby.”

He didn’t phrase it as a question, but you answered it as one anyway.

“Yes. Yes, yes, yes.”

The ring felt wonderful on your left hand. It was enough that you felt it was there, but it didn’t hold the mental weight that the last one did. Instead, it brought a sense of completeness to you. A calmness you didn’t know you lacked. Your heart was so full it threatened to burst.  

You couldn’t wait for Bradley to have one to match. 

------

Main Masterlist

Ending Note: AHHHH!!! I hope you all enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please leave any feedback you may have; it really does mean so much! I hope to produce more content for this fandom in the future. These Navy Aviators have a hold on me!

[wtfgaylittlezooid]

Stickbug AU

Just so y'all can get an idea of what I'm yapping about, I'm gonna spill everything I have planned for this AU so far on this post. I'll try to update it as I come up with more ideas.

NOTE: SO THIS CAME OUT A LOT LONGER THAN I THOUGHT SO IF YALL WANT TO CONTROL F TO CERTAIN SPOTS HERE ARE THE HEADER NAMES: The Hollows Creation AVA IV Chosen & Dark Anim VS Minecraft Purple KING LETS GO MY FAVORITE KING AVM Season 3 Victim & the Mercenaries After Everything

So this AU takes place around 50 years after the canon events of Bug Fables, and I'll explain as I go along so you won't need to know the events of the game.

Some needed information is that Humans are heavily implied to have disappeared/died, and some species of bugs have gained sapience in the "Day of Awakening," though some species remained feral with a few individuals gaining sapience far after the Day of Awakening.

The Hollows Creation

Alan is still in this AU, and in a way he is still the Hollows "creator." In this AU, he's a creature called a "Deadlander Omega" found in the Giant's Lair/Deadlands. Basic information is that they're colossal bird-like Deadlanders which are so big only their claws and eyes have ever been seen. In game they like to drop other Deadlanders onto the player which triggers a fight. Alan is a more aware Omega. He likes to collect whatever piques his interest, normally anything that shines due to the lack of sunlight in the Lair. However after a while of dropping Deadlanders onto the few passing bugs, he got more curious by bugs.

NOTE: THIS IS DRAWN BY @tatos-stick-pile SHE HAS DONE SO MUCH FOR THIS AU

So what did he do? Sneak out of the Giant's Lair. Used the overgrown weeds to his advantage and would look around. Found out about larva and got fascinated by the fact bugs came from that. So whatever larva he could find he'd take back-- which wasn't often since most people wouldn't just leave their larva/eggs lying around.

Anyway he'd bring them home. The Deadlanders wouldn't register the larva/eggs as bugs or alive so they could just crawl around and munch on the grass until they eventually grew up. Alan started realizing "oh shit grow your own entertainment" when his first little stolen egg grew to a bug, a grasshopper (victim). Alan would basically use a jar to keep Victim from running off, would drop Deadlanders on him to watch the fights even if Victim sucked at fighting.

Now even if Alan doesn't recognize the bugs as living and thinking things, he isn't stupid. He notices how they use the shiny crystals he likes to collect to heal. So when he sees Victim nearly getting killed in one of the fights he puts two and two together and "gives" Victim the crystal. AKA impales him and literally kills Victim. When he notices Victim stops moving, throws him away and tries again.

He finds a hornet larva. Decides to try something different. Bugs use the crystals for health, so as the larva crawls around and eats he crushes up one of his crystals and mixes it into areas they know they like to eat in. Because of the magic in the crystals, whatever sticks in their bodies results in the larva becoming strong, healthy, and extremely powerful sorcerers.

Chosen fights-- both the Deadlanders and Alan-- but can't win. He tries running, but Alan rips off a wing and puts him in the jar. Eventually Alan gets lucky and finds a wasp larva, and unfortunately for Chosen, this one doesn't seem to understand anything other than following Alan. Of course y'all can guess what happens from here: Alan pits the two against eachother, Chosen tells Dark they can team up to fight Alan, and end up doing a lot of damage to him before running. It takes a long while for Alan to rebuild his health before he tries again. This time a lot more careful with a little bumblebee larva (Second). He keeps a very close eye on it to make sure it doesn't hurt him, and an even closer eye to make sure it doesn't get away.

AVA IV

Red's a ladybug, Green's a grasshopper, Blue's a firefly, and Yellow's a caddisfly. While Bugaria takes place in the Giant's Lair (AKA a abandoned human home)'s backyard, the color gang are from the front yard. They each have their own reasons to travel to Bugaria: Yellow has heard about Roach technology and really wants to see how it works for himself, Red wants to join the Explorer's Association and fill out his bestiary along the way, Blue wants to visit the Harvest Festival and give an offering for the goddess of Harvest, Venus' approval, and Green just wants to stick with his friends.

However getting to Bugaria is difficult. While before most people would take the swamp, the only thing that resulted in was a lot of tension and frustration since they couldn't communicate with the Leafbugs living there and would only result in a lot of deaths on both sides. The swamp got closed off, and as a result, left two main paths. The Caravan is the most popular for good reason: it is an extremely long road usually consisting of many bugs, although because the trip normally takes around a month, it is not safe from bandits nor the weather. A lot of injuries tend to happen and many come out malnourished. The other option takes a day. Just follow the path through the Giant's Lair. There won't be many Deadlanders, but if there are, only large enough groups of bugs or explorer teams can go through to ensure safety.

Since they're a group of four impatient, naive, younger bugs, the Color Gang goes through the Deadlands. It isn't that bad actually, until a little bumblebee catches Red's eye, and an glint of Blue catches Yellow's. Each go off path, Red finding a very excited and nervous Second Coming, and Yellow finding a half of the Roach's ancient Key.

And This catches Alan's attention, because that bee and that key are both of his things. They get to see Alan's spooky ass eye, and Second urges them to run, but before they can the Color Gang gets squished by Alan's claw and Second and the key get picked up. Second isn't happy, stings Alan right in the eye, and gets dropped right next to his friends. He tries helping them up so they can leave, but they're still struggling. He takes too long and Second and his friends get a jar slammed over them.

Alan keeps watch of them, now mostly curious because that's a LOT of bugs in one jar. He's expecting them to fight or do something, but instead... they just sit together. They just chat and sit against the glass, and what really shocks Alan is when they pull out food and start sharing it. I think this is the moment it clicks for Alan that there's something more to them. Alan leaves, and when he comes back he brings back two things. A good pile of food for them, and one of his crystals. He places them on the ground and lifts the jar before perching to see what they do. They're too injured to leave even with the crystal's healing, but Alan is just fascinated with this new discovery. That they're complicated, that they think. For as long as they stay in the Deadlands, which is only a few days, he tries making it as comfortable as possible to see what they like. Tries modeling after what he's seen other bugs do and live in.

They leave of course, taking Second and the key half with them. Alan doesn't like it, but he lets them. Now he's curious on if they'll come back, and now just has a lot to think about now that he's realized they can think and feel.

Chosen & Dark

After everything with Alan, the only thing Dark and Chosen knew was the other, so they clung. Dark itched for a fight, and Chosen was more curious about the outside world. Eventually this lead to the two becoming an explorer team.

It wasn't bad at first, but Dark of course gravitated to the shadier areas. Dark THRIVED in bounties and fights, meanwhile Chosen started second guessing whether or not he liked being an explorer. Every time they had to leave a kingdom or village, he'd always just felt disappointed. But Dark wanted to keep going, so he followed.

Eventually they started to get a reputation. They would do any quest, no matter the morals, and they wouldn't sell you out. They would get worse and worse clients, and were quickly teetering on the line of hitmen, and Chosen eventually had enough. He didn't see the point in it anymore, he liked the slow moments. Dark meanwhile thrived in a fight, because it was the only thing hes ever known.

This led to a fight between them. A bad one. Dark had been experimenting with Roach crystals to boost his own abilities, and somehow, Chosen ended up accidentally dragging Second and the Color Gang into it. There was a lot of collateral damage and Dark showed off how he was not above killing people, by targeting Second's friends. They died, and that mixture of sheer rage and grief was what triggered Second's skill in magic. Y'all know how this goes, Second beats the shit out of Dark Lord, revives his friends, but before he can land the killing blow, Chosen stops him.

Chosen doesn't want Dark to die, but he can't be with him anymore. So he rats on Dark. Gets him thrown in Rubber Prison, and Dark takes this as a betrayal. They depend on each other, and Chosen wouldn't even defend him and never visited him. Chosen regrets this decision every day and before he can get arrested too, he hides and is labeled as missing.

Anim VS Minecraft

This stumped me at first because how the hell do you mix bug fables and Minecraft but NO WORRIES I FOUND A WAY

After the Deadlands, first thing Color Gang does is sign up for the Explorer's Association. Unfortunately there can't be teams of 5, so they split into two teams: Blue and Yellow form Team Sunset, and Second, Red, and Green form Team Second. They do quests for a while, Yellow spends a lot of time focusing on the key half, and eventually they team up for a pretty important quest!

Not sure what this quest would be exactly, but basically they get lured into a cave and when they get into it Red starts acting weird. And then he starts attacking them and going for the key and yep if you've realized it WE FOUND A WAY TO ADD HEROBRINE FUCK YOU MINECRAFT CREEPYPASTA BUGSONA

Art once again by @tatos-stick-pile

Herobrine is a recently awakened Golden Orb Weaver spider who uses his silk to puppet Red around. This silk is SHARP too. He tries going for the key because he's heard of the artifact and its power and he really wants it to expand his territory. He gets his ass kicked when they figure out whats going on and he escapes.

Afterwards Yellow decides to be more secretive about the key half. They don't figure this out for a while though, but the entire reason Herobrine was expanding his territory is because he looks after lesser bugs ESPECIALLY ones that have recently awakened. He just hates regular bugs.

Purple

And I lied to start with Purple I have to start with an Explorer Team y'all should be familiar with-- unless youre coming from the bug fables fandom and to that i say hello how do you like the shitstorm so far. Anyway one Explorer Team, Team Orchid. It consists of an orchid mantis named Orchid and another mantis named Navy.

Orchid is an explorer for the sightseeing and to help people. Navy doesn't exactly care about that, he's mostly around to make sure she doesn't get herself killed. Eventually he gets an idea that they can get a pet for some extra defense. Orchid LOVES the idea, and so Navy drags her to the Forsaken Lands to find something strong enough.

Orchid falls in love with a mothfly and won't settle for anything else. That mothfly is Purple, a recently awakened mothfly who is extremely confused because he's only been around feral mothflies and its his instinct to stick with them. Anyway y'all know how this goes, Navy "trains" (aka beats) Purple, who can't fight back and goes to Orchid for comfort. Purple causes a massive rift in their relationship and its not even their fault. Orchid wanted a pet to dote on and Navy wanted something to train. But Orchid isn't stupid-- even if Purple is a mothfly and can't talk she starts recognizing he's awakened. He's a child. She starts treating him as such despite how much Navy HATES it and Purple of course starts seeing them as their parents and really looks up to them.

And one day Navy is sick of it. Takes Purple by the arm and drags him back to the Forsaken Lands and far from Orchid. Purple is nervous but still trusts him, thinks its for training. Navy drags him all the way to the abandoned Ant Settlement and tells him to stay there. To prove his training he needs to protect that settlement until he comes back to get them. Purple of course is "okay ❤️ yay❤️."

He doesn't come back. Neither does Purple. But Purple sticks to the settlement and protects it-- getting a little overly defensive of it. Overtime more mothflies are drawn to the area and of course they form little hivemind clusters and whoops! False Monarch 2. But since Purple is awakened and actually intelligent he has a lot more control over the mothfly clusters-- or False Citizens-- and they act more as an extension of him. Purple forms his own little cluster too-- and hates being separated from it and DESPISES being acknowledged as "just a mothfly" so he dresses with a mask and cloak to be a better bug. He gets a bit of a superiority complex as well due to just being surrounded by nothing but feral bugs that he can control.

Anyway the sudden re-population of this abandoned settlement with False Citizens does not go unnoticed. Especially because whenever one wanders close, Purple tends to have a citizen stalk and lurk around the edge until it creeps the bug out enough for them to leave. So a bounty is made once again for the False Monarch.

Blue and Green see it. They think it would be SO fun to lean into their competitive sides and see if whoever got the killing blow on the bounty would finally prove their team as better. So they go to the settlement, see the citizens staring and stalking them and ignore it. They aren't attacking them, after all. They're just being creepy.

They end up finding Purple who is NOT happy and is immediately defensive. But he's not attacking them. He's just kinda throwing a fit and making himself look bigger. Which is weird because bounties are usually extremely dangerous and hostile, but this one is just... throwing a fit. They end up just nearly dodging a fight when some of the citizens start grabbing Green and Blue to throw them out and Blue blurts out they don't want to fight. Turns out Purple does understand Bugnish, but can't speak it.

Great! So they don't have to kill the pretty chill bounty. But others don't know that, and they need to bring back proof they killed Purple to get the bounty taken down. They bring it up to Purple and after vague translations, they make a deal. Purple's been having trouble with a strong enemy near the settlement, so he gives them their mask and helps them defeat the enemy.

And its a big fucking spider, but thankfully they have Purple's range to help in the fight, and while its going smooth at first-- Purple ends up bailing. He's spent too long away from the settlement and figures since Blue and Green are strong enough that they'll be fine. They aren't. Because they needed Purple's range. Purple almost ends up getting them killed, the only reason they survived is because their friends realized they were gone for a long time and come just in time.

Green and Blue afterwards take the mask and leave. They're pissed at Purple but they can confront him another time, they mostly just want to be away from him at the moment.

KING LETS GO MY FAVORITE KING

Time for King! Y'all know King's deal. He has a child he loves with all his heart. In this AU he is a Violin Mantis and his little Goldie is a mantis nymph. King personally isn't an explorer, but Gold REALLY wants to be once and he always finds it difficult to say no to Gold.

Anyway Gold hears wind of a tourist thing. They're doing this mini-tour of the Deadlands in a 100% totally nothing will ever go wrong encased area. Its gonna focus on theories on the Deadlands and what Gold is more interested in-- how Explorers made it safer and how they traverse it.

King doesn't like it. Its called the Deadlands for a reason. But Gold really wants to and is begging him and is doing all his chores and being the most perfect little nymph so he can go. And they claim its safe. King finally caves and takes Gold, and y'all can guess what happens. Deadlander breaks through and kills his son right in front of him before the Explorer escorts can kill it.

So like any regular parent experiencing grief King vows to fucking blow up the Deadlands and everything in it. Not like anybody cares about that fucking place and is widely considered a No Man's Land. He ends up getting his hands on the other half to the Key and is obsessed with finding the other half.

AVM Season 3

While going towards the Termite Kingdom to hopefully find some clues on where the other key half is, King gets lost along the way and finds the abandoned Ant Settlement. False citizens are of course not happy and watch him, but he ignores them. He might as well search the place while he's here. He ends up finding Purple, whose not happy and already a little on edge because Blue and Green haven't come back despite promising they will.

King notices the bounty paper Green and Blue drop and promptly manipulates Purple. Tells them that they probably won't be coming back. But I imagine Green and Blue were yapping to Purple, mentioning the key half because both dont take it that seriously, and Purple sees King's key half and mentions it through a drawing.

King turns up the manipulation to 100. convinces Purple to take his citizens with them (wants to use them as a deadlander bait). If they get the key they'll be strong enough for their village. He just has to get the key from his friends and bring it to King.

Very cute doodle once again from @tatos-stick-pile

Purple does. A while after he's ditched the village to be with King, they run into Color Gang again. They're chatting and having fun and eventually Purple just... dissapears along with the key. Y'all should know what happens, the chase happens, Purple brings the key to King, he combines them and gets really strong and starts destroying shit. Big fight starts up, King focuses on superpowered Second, the color gang go after Purple, who isn't really that strong. He tries getting help from King, but King ignores him. Leaves him for dead.

This fucks up Purple. Because King introduced that fear and realization of abandonment in Purple. And Purple not only realizes how many mistakes he's made, but also realizes he's in fact a lesser bug. That's why nobody wants him. And people don't hesitate to kill lesser bugs when they're in their way. Purple gets both super emotional and terrified for his life, and is forced to abandon his beloved cloak and mask to make a run for it. Green pursues him, everything else happens.

Not sure how everyone splitting up would work so far, but Red somehow gets Herobrine and some of the bugs he watches involved in the fight. Green convinces Purple to go after King, and the bigger fight starts. King uses the Key to attack anyone and hes close enough to his goal hes gotten a lot more brutal. Will just hold whoevers nearest and shoot them point blank with it. Y'all know that scene. The scene where King is nearly killing Purple and goes through that flashback and is slapped in the face with the realization he sees Purple as his own son. That still happens, King gives up, helps Purple and Purple still sticks to him.

Victim & the Mercenaries

Shortly after being discarded by Alan, a cordyceps fungus found and started growing in the grasshopper's body. He is EXTREMELY lucky, because the tiniest crumbs of magic crystal left in his body was just enough magic to balance out the fungus sticking to him and passing on its memory without completely overloading it and turning him into a zombie. But its not perfect, and it still shows in the mini holes in his body. He also woke up fucking PISSED enough to turn him into a Locust

I'm gonna keep this section extremely vague since we still don't know what happened to Victim in AvA canon. Just know he built a massive "charity" corporation in the Termite Kingdom that claims its going to find a way to turn the Deadlands useful. AKA he wants an excuse to have enough money to research a way into killing Alan.

This involves hiring explorer teams, leading him to the Mercenaries: Hazard, Ballista, Primal, and Agent. They are explorers who work in the shadier areas of the Association and are EXTREMELY difficult to hire as they only accept high rewards up-front.

Some concepts for Victim and Agent since I haven't settled on a design for them...

Chosen and Dark catch Victim's eye, since they're rumored to have attacked an Omega and lived. However since Chosen is missing, Victim and the Mercenaries stop by Rubber Prison to visit Dark. Now Dark and the Mercenaries were very well known in the same area, so they know each other. Doesn't mean Dark likes them.

They convince Dark to help them with the promise of his bands back and a dead Omega. Dark thinks Chosen would absolutely love a dead Omega, and so he doesn't hesitate.

Shit happens. Chosen and Second get captured by the mercenaries and Chosen is PISSED at Dark despite all the regret. They're both mad at each other but Dark's doesn't last long when Victim starts torturing Chosen for information. He's mad at Chosen but he doesn't want that.

He blows up at Victim a little at it, so to get Dark to listen, Victim rips off a good chunk of Chosen's remaining wing. That makes Dark stand down, and now Dark doesn't know what to do. Chosen feels too guilty about everything to say anything, and Dark is too prideful to apologize. More shit happens-- Victim has the gem of Hoaxe's crown. Long story short it can brainwash Hornets, which Victim starts using when Chosen keeps refusing. That pushes Dark more off of Victim but he can't do anything lest Victim directs it all back on Chosen tenfold.

More vague shit. Mr alan becker i need the next part of episode six soon please. Anyway big fight in the Deadlands. Everyone's in there and Victim wants Alan DEAD. But Victim is getting progressively more and more pissed off because despite being attacked Alan is being as gentle as he can. He's going the extra mile to make sure he doesn't kill them. Anyway Dark ends up snapping Chosen's antennae to break him out of the brainwashing and Victim gets cooked.

Chosen decides to not murder Victim-- mostly because clearly that's not permanent and its too good for him. Victim is extremely upset about this because the fact nobody is killing him and just being weirdly merciful and the fact hes lost all control has sent him into a breakdown. Its challenging all the rules hes lived by and how he thought the world worked. Hes screaming and shouting at them.

Which attracts the attention of another Omega. Now the thing about Omegas is because they're pretty fragile due to being mostly bones, it means they need to build armor to survive. And they're territorial. Usually if an Omega picks a fight the one with the better armor survives.

Once again-- art provided by @tatos-stick-pile THEY ARE COOKING

And to protect the bug he KNOWS he hurt and was alive-- Alan attacks the other Omega despite already being extremely injured and losing most his armor. The others dont have a choice but to hide out of sight, and eventually the other Omega wins and kills Alan. Tries looking around for the interesting thing that was shouting but finds nothing and fucks off along with a few undamaged parts of Alan's armor.

Everyone except for Second and the Color Gang decide to take their leave. I imagine throughout the story theres a lot of moments where Alan works on making it up to Second and just truely shows he cares and is regretful. So Second tries reviving him, but the problem is that Alan is just... fuckin' massive. Even when they're dead or asleep they're so big their bodies get mistaken for terrain.

It doesn't work at first. Until Yellow finds the gem Victim left behind that he used to control Chosen, and he learned that this can boost magic. He gives it to Second and he completely exhausts himself and they revive Alan. Yipee!! Everyone is saved happy ending go home its over

After Everything

Chalk my liar count to 2 y'all

Purple lives with King, and King has officially adopted him. They still have their own issues they're working towards, but they're slowly getting there together.

Dark and Chosen don't know what to do at first. Chosen wants a chill and peaceful life, but Dark directly contrasts that. He's much more well known and hated than Chosen. Just by being with him, he ruins Chosen's happiness, but he just wants to stay with him. Chosen wants to stay with Dark as well. Thankfully, one of the mercenaries pops up. They're pissed at first, but all they do is mention a town.

Looking into it, after the attempted takeover half a century ago, the bandit leader Astotheles got inspired by the celebration. He wanted a home, a nation for his people, so he left Bugaria because it obviously wasn't gonna happen there. Outside the nation's borders, he established his own village. Where bugs who are abandoned or discarded can come to start anew.

Chosen and Dark decide to move to there, leaving behind and finally moving on from everything that happened to them.

Victim on the other hand went missing. He took that loss HARD. Agent thinks he has an idea on where he went, but needs extra help, so he puts up a request. He's not bringing the other mercs because they don't know about the cordyceps thing and Victim prefers to keep it hidden.

Color Gang ends up taking it up. They are low on berries and its the only request on the board. Nobody is happy about this. Agent makes sure to go with them, and he leads them all to Snakemouth Den. In the den there's a lot of spores and magic in the air, and it gets worse the deeper you go in because in that cave is an ancient Roach laboratory where experimented on cordyceps and magic in an attempt to recreate the immortality of the Everlasting Sapling (that thing is long dead it doesnt matter).

Anyway Victim went here for a power boost. Thinks he just needs to try again and he'll have more control and he'll win. Now he aint thinkin' clearly because the magic that is so goddamn potent in this cave is messin with the fungus. And y'all remember what i said?

"He is EXTREMELY lucky, because the tiniest crumbs of magic crystal left in his body was just enough magic to balance out the fungus sticking to him and passing on its memory without completely overloading it and turning him into a zombie."

Yeah. Ends up shanking himself with the crystals to try and force more magic in him and it makes the fungus go stupid crazy and completely overgrow out and through his exoskeleton and whoops! say goodbye to your sentience. Control freak loses everything even the control over himself. Fun little boss fight I also imagine he has a poison thing going on.

Anyway they end up knocking him down and restraining him, Agent rips out all the crystals. Victim isn't dead yet but he's in awful shape, and congrats you earned Second's pity. Second heals him and Agent pays them a shit ton for that and brings Victim home to help him recover.

Anyway thats it for the AU so far holy god that was so much longer than I expected if you made it here we should go on a date to texas roadhouse together

[drewexe]

Like The Stars Pt. 1

pt.1 pt.2 pt.3 pt.4

Pairing: jaemin x fem!reader

Genre: smut, fluff, sex lessons au, friends to lovers

Word Count: ~8,8k

Includes: high school seniors (everyone is legal of age); canon bisexual mc; side characters donghyuck, renjun, and karina; profanities; obviously, sex lessons; kind of a slow burn?; mc being oblivious and kind of innocent but hopefully not in an annoying way; one handjob (for now)

Summary: you'd had a crush on renjun for as long as you could remember, but your lack of experience always stopped you from taking the first step; it's a good thing you have your trusted friend jaemin to help you out

Author's note: fun fact about this story, i've been writing it ever since ridin came out... i edited it a bit to make that less obvious, but i apologize for any writing inconsistencies that may appear, as there is only so much i can change without rewriting the full thing also if you see any mentions of hair colors, no you didn't also i meant to post this as one part but i wasn't able to finish it by the day i wanted to post it so imma stop procrastinating and finish it on the go hehe

It was something like an unwritten rule that rich kids would go to private schools, at least where you lived, which could also be heavily influenced by the fact that one of the best private schools in the country was located in your town. Of course, coming from a family of successful businessmen, you had been enrolled the moment your family stepped foot there three years ago. About 95% of the students were filthy rich, the remaining 5% being scholarship kids that you didn’t really communicate with much. Well, truth be told, you only really communicated with four people in the school but in all honesty, you enjoyed your school life.

You walked into the school cafeteria and headed over to the table where your best friend Karina was already enjoying her lunch. Across from her was sitting Donghyuck, another one of your friends. Karina and Hyuck had a long story back, both of them teasing each other all the time, never actually getting together yet for some reason. You had given up trying to help them. You had enough to worry about with your own secret crush anyway.

“The school year started two weeks ago, how come I already have three different assignments,” you complained instead of a greeting once you sat down at the table.

“Senior year, Y/N, we all knew that was coming,” Hyuck shrugged, grinning slightly with an astonishing lack of empathy.

You just rolled your eyes, not bothering to respond. You took a bite out of your lunch but got distracted as soon as two familiar figures entered the cafeteria. The other two in your small group – Na Jaemin and Huang Renjun. Your eyes quickly stopped on the Chinese boy and you couldn't help but let out a quiet sigh.

“Y/N, dear, can you please tell him finally?” Karina rolled her eyes next to you, leaning closer and lowering her voice so Hyuck wouldn't listen in. “You’ve had a crush on Renjun for as long as I’ve known you, you should just go for it.” 

You shook your head quickly, opening your mouth to say something in objection but then the two boys had already reached the table. You closed your mouth again and waved at them with a smile.

“Hello there,” Jaemin greeted, grinning slightly as he sat on the table next to you. Like, literally on the table, his feet stepping on the bench. You looked up at him, eyebrows raised in just a slightly judging manner.

“Hey, kiddo,” you smiled back, reaching up to ruffle his hair.

Yet your smile melted as Renjun suddenly sat down next to you, greeting you with a soft “Hello, beautiful” of his own and throwing his arm over your shoulder. You greeted back softly, enjoying the feeling of his body near yours.

Renjun confused you a lot of the time - he seemed open to you, he flirted and complimented you a lot, but he’d never really addressed any feelings and you knew him as a straightforward guy that wouldn’t just keep quiet if he wanted something. Which is why you were scared to ask him yourself. That, and your lack of experience. Well, you weren’t innocent and pure, you had dated and had sex before, but it had been with girls. Men were a confusing thing to you, you weren't sure what to do with those and feared messing up, as dumb as that was. But you just didn’t want to mess up with Renjun.

“People, I am planning on organizing a back-to-school party this year,” Jaemin said, pulling you away from your thoughts. 

“Are parties all you think about?” Renjun tsked in disapproval on your left, making you chuckle. “You’re legally an adult already, Nana, you can’t always just have fun.”

“So, who wants to host it?” Jaemin ignored him, a grin spreading on his lips. “My parents are home tonight so it can’t be at my place. Hyuckie?” Donghyuck shook his head with a roll of his eyes. 

“Don’t look at me,” he whined. “Last time I let you have a party at my place, I had to find my precious Michael Jackson albums in the bottom of the laundry basket, under at least three shirts that weren’t mine!”

The grin on Jaemin’s lips didn’t fall, instead, he just seemed pleased with the mentioned outcome.

“My parents aren’t home, actually,” you mentioned, chuckling slightly. “And you’re in luck, I actually feel like dealing with one of your parties, Jaem,” you said, smiling at the boy that immediately turned to you, a happy glow in his eyes that melted you a bit on the inside.

“Great then, I’ll go invite everyone important!” he jumped up, already taking out his phone and ignoring Renjun’s eye roll and disappointed sigh.

“Y/N, you should finish your lunch,” Renjun said to you, smiling sweetly. “If you’ll be dealing with him all night, you’ll need all your energy.” You nodded slightly as you took a big bite of your meal, eyes shining from the approval on Renjun’s face.

You failed to notice Jaemin’s mood faltering and the way his smile dropped as he left the cafeteria. And when you realized he had left, you just shrugged, assuming it was just to talk to his friends about the party.

The school day passed by quickly, and soon you found yourself at home getting everything ready for the party. The home staff had helped you stock up enough alcohol and snacks for as many people as you could, not really sure who Jaemin would even have invited. You hoped it wouldn’t be the whole school, which he had done once in Renjun’s house. You were relieved to see not that many people arriving. I mean, of course, it was a pretty big party, but you could handle this much and still have a house by the next day.

The night was going well, everyone seemed to be having fun, a lot of the kids were already getting drunk, and you were pretty sure at least one of the guest rooms was taken up, but you were happy. And maybe a little tipsy yourself.

“Y/N, baby, come play with us,” you heard your best friend’s voice call out to you and turned around with a smile, seeing Karina, the three boys, and some other kids. You approached curiously, taking a sip from your glass filled with vodka and cranberry juice.

“What are we playing?” you asked, tilting your head to the side.

“Truth or dare,” Hyuck answered instead, grinning. You took notice of the boy sitting a lot closer to Karina than usual, which made you raise your eyebrows and a smirk curve your lips, throwing the other girl an amused glance to which she replied with a wink.

“I’m in,” you giggled, sitting down in the free spot next to Renjun and across from Jaemin. They had already started playing and apparently, one of the girls had to sit in another guy’s lap, which he seemed to enjoy a lot more than her. The same boy spun the bottle and it landed on you, another giggle escaping you. Okay, maybe you were more than just a little tipsy.

“Uh, if you had to date someone from the group, who would it be?” the boy asked awkwardly, which you gave to the fact that you didn’t really know each other.

“Easy, Karina” you grinned, laughing a bit after that, though judging by his expression he expected the answer to be a boy. “But if you insist it has to be with a dick, then I’d say Renjun,” you added, your mind cloudy enough to not overthink it. Renjun laughed amused, leaning over to peck your cheek, and if anyone could know that you were suddenly feeling warmer, you'd blame it on the alcohol.

As the game goes, it was your turn to spin the bottle and so you did, landing on a girl from the class below yours. You knew her very vaguely yet made up some dumb dare that the girl still ended up enjoying. A few more rounds went by and the bottle fell on Jaemin, who picked dare almost the same second.

“Kiss the person across from you,” whoever had spun said.

It took you a moment to realize that was you. You blinked, looking up and your eyes met. Unlike the confident expression you could see on his face usually, Jaemin looked unsure, you could see a question in his eyes. “I can drink if you don’t-“ he started, but you shook your head.

“Na Jaemin doesn’t step down from dares,” you declared, giggling and taking a sip from your drink again. “I ain’t gonna be the reason you change that.” With that you got up on your knees, leaning over the bottle closer to him.

You could see him still hesitating, which made you narrow your eyebrows slightly and pout. “If you don’t want to, though…“ you started, your tone a bit upset in your drunken haze, which seemed to snap him out of his anxiousness and he moved up, closer to you. His hand reached up, cupping your cheek gently.

“Any preferences on the kiss?” he asked suddenly, you weren't sure if he was asking you or the person that had given the dare. 

“Aye, don’t be boring, give us a show,” someone shouted from the side and your eyes widened a bit as you realized that maybe you hadn’t really thought this through.

You hadn’t kissed boys, although you supposed it wouldn’t be much different from kissing girls. But you had never expected the first boy you kissed would be Jaemin, one of your closest friends. Yet you didn’t mind, or at least the alcohol in your system helped you not to mind. 

“You better make my first kiss with a boy worth it, Na” you mumbled jokingly and then leaned closer, pressing your lips against his softly.

He seemed taken aback for a second, yet reacted almost immediately after that, kissing back and tilting his head to the side to deepen the kiss. His hand moved from your cheek to the back of your neck as he seemed to pull you closer. His tongue gently darted along your lips and you gladly opened them, letting him do whatever he pleased, the alcohol on his tongue mixing with the taste of vodka in your own mouth. You could hear cheers around you, and you could hear your brain complaining about what Renjun would think of you, but Jaemin was very distracting from both of those. Apparently, people weren’t lying when they said he was skilled with that stuff.

When he finally pulled away, you could feel your head spinning a bit, the oxygen a little short for your already intoxicated brain and you stumbled a bit as you sat back down. Renjun wrapped his arms around you quickly to help you so you wouldn’t fall. You thanked him softly, smiling at Jaemin. The other boy had already sat back down as well, seemingly calm, although his eyes were moving around anxiously. ‘Was I a bad kiss?’ was the first thought in your head, making you widen your eyes slightly. And being the dysfunctional drunk you were, the thought stuck with you for the rest of the game. You answered some questions, did some dares but didn’t even give them thought. Your mind was entirely somewhere else. All you could think about was that you had been so bad Jaemin regretted it... and that you wouldn’t be good enough for Renjun.

Caught up in your thoughts, you didn’t notice it had been your turn to spin the bottle until Renjun shook you gently. You blinked, eyes focusing on him and widening slightly when you realized how close he was. Your head was spinning and suddenly you felt the urge to kiss him. 

“Sorry, someone take my turn,” you coughed out, getting up and walking away quickly as panic flooded your mind.

You headed straight for your room, closing the door behind you and leaning your back on the wall. You could feel tears rushing to your eyes so you took a large sip of your drink to distract yourself. It was going to be okay, you thought, you'd sober up and it would get better. This was a dumb reason to cry anyway.

“You okay, princess?” you heard a familiar voice suddenly. Not expecting him to be there, you jumped up slightly, looking over at Jaemin. “Sorry, I just got worried when you left so quickly and wanted to check if everything is alright.”

“Was I a bad kiss?” you asked, not really paying attention to what he had said. You could only focus on one thing at the moment.

“I’m sorry, what?“ Jaemin widened his eyes, choking slightly on air.

“Did it feel bad? Kissing me, I mean,” you reworded your question, your lips trembling a little.

“Of course not!” he shot back immediately, his face heating up noticeably. “You were one of the best kisses I’ve ever had,” he added a little more collected this time as he looked away and coughed awkwardly. You weren't sure if he was honest or just saying that to calm you down but decided not to question it for your own sake. You pouted and looked at your drink.

“Good enough for Renjun?” you asked quietly instead. You hadn’t mentioned your crush in front of the boys in your friend group because you were scared they would spread the information just because they were friends, yet at the moment that wasn’t your biggest concern. Jaemin didn’t reply though. When you looked up, his face was blank. “I’m sorry, that was a dumb question, ignore it,” you forced a laugh and took a sip from your drink as if to say ‘Look, everything’s so alright I can even drink!’

“You haven’t confessed to him yet because you’re scared you wouldn’t be good enough at kissing?” Jaemin asked, raising his eyebrow as his usual teasing grin slowly took back its place on his lips.

“Well, not just a kiss, I,“ you started explaining, then a gasp left your lips and your eyes widened. “You know?!” you screeched and covered your face with your hands.

“It’s just a little obvious,” Jaemin replied jokingly as he stepped closer to you and pulled your hands away from your face, taking the glass away from you and setting it down on the shelf near you. He’d closed the door after he’d walked in, leaving the two of you alone in your bedroom. “Now tell me, what did you mean?”

“Well, I’m scared I’ll be a disappointment,” you signed, leaning back against the wall and crossing your arms. “I’ve been with girls before. But I’ve never been with a boy, I’m scared I’ll mess up when I’m with him and he won’t want to be with me but won’t tell me because he’s just too sweet and we’ll be stuck in a relationship he doesn’t want and I can’t let go.” You were ranting at this point, the alcohol blurring your thoughts.

“You know he wouldn’t judge you for something like this,” Jaemin said quietly, one of his hands gently cupping your cheek, which made you remember the kiss earlier when he had held you the same way. “And I’m sure you’d figure out what to do quickly anyways” he added, a small smile curving his lips as if to comfort you. You were quiet for a bit, your mind once again working on its own thing.

“I know! You’ll teach me!” you exclaimed suddenly, grabbing his arms excitedly. In your eyes, there was a glimmer and Jaemin had to take a step back. 

“What?!“ he choked out, and you giggled, finding his surprise adorable. 

“Teach me how to please a boy, Nana,” you asked, a grin spreading your lips at the brilliant idea you had just had.

“I think you should stop drinking and just go to bed, Y/N,” the boy chuckled awkwardly, pushing you away from himself. He pulled you gently to the big bed in the corner of the room.

You narrowed your eyebrows - going to sleep wasn’t what you had wanted. So when the two of you reached the bed, you pushed Jaemin to sit on it instead, surprising him enough so he couldn’t stop you, and got in his lap. Your arms came to rest on his shoulders and you looked down at his wide eyes and flustered expression.

“I’m serious, Jaemin, you have experience with these things and I trust you.” You could see him swallowing hard, hopefully, that was supposed to mean that he was giving in. “Teach me how to fuck boys, Jaem” you whispered, begging him with your eyes.

He was still unresponsive. And if you had been sober, you probably would have apologized already and stepped away. But you weren't. So instead of that, you let your head drop until your lips could press comfortably against the skin of his neck and you started leaving open-mouthed kisses down his neck. Then you decided to go back on the same path, this time sucking and nibbling gently along the way. If the way he swallowed dryly and let out a shaky breath was any indication, your actions seemed to be doing the trick and a pleased smile curved your lips. Getting bolder as he didn’t seem to want to stop you anymore, you took it further, lips attaching to a spot you liked and sucking harshly, aiming to leave a mark. At the same time, you rolled your hips against his.

“Fuck-“ Jaemin moaned out lowly at the action, and his hips bucked up slightly against you.

And then you felt a bulge in his pants, pressing against your thigh. You thought that would mean you had won, yet suddenly he pushed you away, startling you enough to make you take a step back and off his lap. His eyes were blown wide as he looked at you, his breathing - heavy.

“Love, believe me, I would love nothing more than to push you onto this bed and have you scream my name,” he said. For some reason, the pet name sent tingles down your spine. Or it could have been the things he’d said. Or the low, raspy tone of voice that you had never heard before. You blamed it on the alcohol.

“Then why haven’t you yet?” you asked, attempting to sound seductive, yet it came out as more of a whine. “What do you want me to do, Nana? Beg for you? Beg for your dick? I can do that, I will do whatever you want me to do.” 

Your eyes were tearing up a little bit at this point. You were drunk and you were now horny, and Jaemin was like a ray of light, a promise of a good time. He had just said that he wanted to do this too. So why was he still refusing?

“Y/N, you are literally wasted,” he said, his eyes softening as he stood up from the bed and approached you again. His hands cupped your cheeks, squishing them slightly and you narrowed your eyebrows. “I am not going to do anything with you in such a state.” He must have seen the disappointment on your face though, as he let out a soft sigh and pecked your lips gently, surprising you. “Listen, if when you wake up tomorrow, you still remember this and you still want me to… teach you, we’ll talk about this more, okay?”

You wanted to argue, to insist on it being right then and there. But you knew that he wouldn’t step down. And deep down, you were grateful about it. And maybe your eyes were stinging a lot more than they did a minute ago, and the bed seemed awfully inviting now.

“But what about you though?” you asked quietly, looking away from him. It wasn't until you looked back at him due to his lack of response, that you realized he didn’t understand your question. “Well, I made you… hard...?” you said, almost a question. 

A chuckle left Jaemin’s lips and he shook his head a little as he pulled you to the bed, letting you lay down and carefully tucking you under the covers. His fingers got buried in your hair and he gently hummed. You were drifting away faster than you had expected. By the time his quiet reply came, you were already too gone to make out the words. 

~

The pain in your head was a bitch. There wasn’t a single thought in your mind besides “fucking hell” for the first few hours after you'd woken up, thankful that Jaemin had been smart enough to throw his party on a Friday, so you could sleep in and die in peace. You didn’t remember getting in bed, but you didn’t really bother about it. It was your own house, you had probably gotten tired and had gone to sleep, in your room, as normal as that.

With a quiet groan, you got up, first heading into the bathroom for your usual morning routine, as well as to take a shower - you felt as if the smell of alcohol had soaked up in your bones. After that, you went to the medicine cabinet in the kitchen. There wasn’t much, but you managed to find a pack of painkillers and gladly took two. You could only hope they would work soon.

Finally feeling a bit more conscious, you decided breakfast would be nice. Obviously, you weren't in the mood to prepare anything complicated, so you just put two slices of bread in the toaster. While waiting for them to be done, you finally checked your phone. Usually, it would be the first thing you do when you wake up, but today you hadn’t had the power to. First of all, you decided to check your messages - there were some from all of your friends from last night.

“you okay?"; "nana said you went to sleep”; “kinda weird if u ask me”; “did you really fall asleep at your own party-” had asked Karina. A chuckle escaped your lips. You quickly typed back an apology, assuring her that you were okay before you opened Hyuck’s message. The smile on your face quickly dropped after you read that one, confusion taking over you.

“girl, if u thought no one would notice the giant hickey on jaemins neck-“ That was the first one. There was another one that made your pulse speed up. “fucker was looking too smug when he came back from ur room did u like suck him off or smth???”

Still unsure what he meant, you opened Renjun’s message. “Jaemin told us that you’d had too much to drink and needed rest. I hope you feel okay in the morning. Make sure to drink lots of water”. After that, there was another short one “Text me if you need anything” followed by a smiley emoji and a heart, which made you melt on the inside a little.

You were more than confused though, your brain was working at its maximum capacity in a hangover state as you moved your toast to a plate, together with some fruit, and then returned to your room to eat there. Munching on a piece of bread, you tried to remember what had happened last night. Finally, you decided that this called for drastic measures.

“Aye, thought you might have died,” were Donghyuck’s first words when he picked up the phone, his voice the usual childish tone over the speaker, a grin evident even in the way he spoke. “Am still waiting for an answer, what did you do to the poor boy?”

“That’s the thing, Hyuck, I don’t remember doing anything,” you sighed, rolling your eyes as you already regretted calling him. “I don’t really remember even being with him, honestly, I must have completely blacked out after… uh, say, did we play something last night...?” you asked, narrowing your eyebrows and nervously nibbling on your nail as you vaguely remembered sitting in a circle with a lot of other people.

“Yeah, truth or dare,” the boy responded, chuckling. “You don’t remember?” You didn’t respond for a while, which the boy seemed to take as a confirmation. “Well, uh…”

“Donghyuck...?” you asked carefully after a moment of silence. “Did I do something really weird?” Still no response. It was unusual for him to be so quiet and you were starting to get very nervous.

“I mean aside from telling everyone that you’d date Renjun and making out with Jaemin, I don’t think there’s anything you could worry about,” he said finally, his voice the normal lazy tone he had as if he hadn’t just told you what he had just told you.

“WHAT???” you screeched, hearing him whine on the other side that you had broken his ears. “Please tell me that you’re messing with me, please, Hyuckie,” you whimpered.

“Nah, you straight up had your tongue down Jaemin’s throat as if your life depended on it. Like, technically you asked for it. It was his dare and he was going to drink but you insisted quite passionately,” he replied casually as if that was the most normal thing ever. “And the Renjun thing wasn’t even that serious, I mean I doubt anyone took it that seriously.” He at least had the decency to try to sound reassuring.

You needed a moment to take it all in. Your fingers got buried in your hair, tugging on it in shock. “Do you think he caught on? He’s smart enough, he probably understood what it meant…“ you whispered, not even minding that Donghyuck seemed to be quite aware of your feelings for Renjun. “I don’t even wanna know what he thought of me - saying that and then kissing… kissing Jaemin,“ you choked on the last words, the thought was so foreign to you.

“It really wasn’t that serious, it was a dare and we had all drank quite a lot, he’d be an idiot to think any less of you for it. But maybe your drunk self was worried too, y’know, you were staring at him for a while there before you suddenly ran away to your room,” the boy on the other side said, humming. His tone seemed a bit more serious now as if he had caught onto your distress even though he was still joking about it.

You pushed your brain more, trying to find the pieces in your mind now that you knew what you were looking for. You could remember the feeling of soft lips on yours, even though the face was not there. “What happened after that? Do you know?”

“All I know is that Jaemin went after you.” You let out a hum, still trying to think. “He came back down about 20 minutes later with a giant dark bruise on his neck. He looked very distracted also, like, he seemed to be thinking about something, fidgeting around all the time and-“

Before he could finish his sentence, you let out another loud screech. It had finally clicked. Not all of it was there, but enough had returned to you and you wanted to die. To bury yourself alive and not ever appear in the land of living again.

“If you’ll repay me for my help by making me permanently deaf, I will just hang up,” Hyuck whined, but you couldn’t care less. You were horrified by your own actions.

“Donghyuck, I asked Jaemin to teach me how to have sex.”

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

“You did what-“ it was a mix between a choke and a laugh as if Donghyuck was in disbelief. Understandably so. This was something quite out of your character. “Sweetie, correct me if I’m wrong, but weren’t you crushing on Renjun for, like, the past couple of years?”

“I asked Jaemin cause I was scared I’d fuck up with Renjun, I’m… Hyuckie, what do I do?” you cried out, your head falling on your desk, but you barely noticed the pain in your forehead. “Hyuckie, I literally begged him and threw myself on him.” It was quiet on the other side of the line for a while and when Donghyuck spoke again, amusement laced his tone, as if he was a second away from bursting out laughing.

“Well, well, now it all makes sense…” You were just going to ask what he meant, when he continued, his tone turning suddenly more serious than you ever remembered hearing him. “I would suggest you think very carefully about this and call him and talk to him about the situation.”

“I- I mean, of course, but… Am I missing something else here?” you asked, lifting your head and narrowing your eyebrows in confusion.

“No, Y/N, just be careful. I gotta go now, Karina’s waiting for me” he said, his tone finally lightening up again and you knew you'd have to ask your best friend about it later. 

“Bye,” you replied quickly, a second later the hang-up tone resonated around your room.

You picked up your phone again, nibbling on your lower lip as you reread Renjun’s message. What was he thinking of you now? He was an angel, he probably didn’t even think much of your behavior last night, brushing it off due to the alcohol you had consumed, just as Donghyuck had. But maybe he found it inappropriate. What if he had thought that you were innocent and sweet and now his opinion had been ruined forever? You figured that you didn’t dare ask and find out. So in the end, you sent him a short “Thank you” with a heart emoji, before sending Jaemin a text that you'd be at his place in 30 minutes.

~

Waiting at the door for Jaemin to open was nerve-wracking. You could feel your hands shaking and you were tempted to turn around and run away. Actually, that seemed like a great idea. You could call him from home, why had you even decided to meet up in person in the first place?

“Hey, princess,” his greeting startled you and ruined the chance of escaping, your wide eyes meeting his soft ones, a bright smile on his lips. He looked just like any other time you'd seen him as if nothing had happened. His hair was still messy, as if you had just woken him up, which would make sense on a Saturday morning after a party. He was wearing a large t-shirt and loose sweatpants and he looked so soft you wanted to squish him and put him in your pocket. The irony that this was the same boy you had begged to fuck you was not lost on you. “What’s up, why did you come?” he asked, once again pulling you out of your thoughts.

“I wanted to talk to you,” you squeaked out, embarrassed as to how little your voice sounded. Jaemin’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, yet he smiled even more, even though that seemed impossible, and led you inside and up to his room, taking a pack of chips and two cans of Fanta from the kitchen on your way up.

He opened one of the cans and handed it to you, before opening the other one for himself, and looked up at you. 

“What’s up? How are you feeling, by the way, any hangover difficulties?” he asked, his caring nature peaking. You had to take a breath, he was one of the sweetest people you had ever met, how did you get yourself in this situation with him… You shook your head slightly as a no, which was obviously a lie, but you didn’t wanna let yourself procrastinate.

“Nana, I am so sorry for everything I did last night,” you said quietly, not daring to meet his eyes, staring at the wall behind him instead as your fingers were fidgeting with the tab of your Fanta. Yet you still managed to catch the way his expression changed, the smile falling suddenly. It was almost painful.

“So you did remember after all?” he asked quietly, taking a sip of his drink and setting it on the bedside table. “How much do you remember, princess? And what are you apologizing for exactly?”

“I- I think I remember most of it, I remember how I asked you to…“ You couldn’t finish the sentence, so you took a sip of your drink instead, trying to calm your mind a bit. “I remember I also tried to force you into agreeing…” Unconsciously, your eyes fell on his neck as if searching for… there it was, a bright reddish spot, proudly peeking over the collar of his shirt and suddenly you felt a new wave of embarrassment flooding you. “I am so sorry, I shouldn’t have invaded your space like that without permission,” you shook your head, forcing your eyes away from the bruised skin. "Not that there’s really an excuse for that…"

Jaemin obviously noticed your stare, readjusting his shirt slightly so the collar would cover the hickey. His eyes were gentle as he looked at you while you spoke, his lips pressed in a line.

“It’s okay, Y/N,” he said and something in the way he said your name made your stomach twist uneasy - it didn’t sound like usual, he sounded strained. “I could tell you’re not really in control of yourself, so don’t worry, we can just forget about it, hm?”

You looked up at him, observing his face. You could try to forget about it, of course. But you knew you wouldn’t be able to. And maybe you didn’t remember much, but you were sure he had said… what did he say exactly? Something like ‘I would love to have you scream my name.’ And hadn’t he hinted that he might agree to help you? You took a deep breath, shooting the next sentence out before you could have the time to regret it.

“I still want you to teach me”

Jaemin froze, his eyes widening as he looked up at you as if a second head had just grown out of your neck. You held his gaze, despite your mind literally screaming in fear to run away. You cleared your throat slightly and licked your lips before speaking again.

“You said that if I still want it, we can talk about it, so… If you don’t want to do it, that’s fine, I completely understand, just say something, Nana,” you asked, hoping that you hadn’t just single-handedly ruined your whole friendship.

“Are you completely sure that you want me, specifically me, to teach you about sex?” the boy asked, crossing his arms in front of his chest. His eyes were unreadable, you couldn’t tell whether he wanted to do it, or to say no, you couldn’t even guess what he might be thinking about which honestly terrified you, yet you still nodded.

“I trust you more than any other guy I know, aside from Renjun and Hyuck, but they are obviously not an option. I know that you have experience, it’s not gonna be a jump in the dark…” He was still looking at you with the same expression as if waiting for you to go on. “I don’t even know why I came up with that idea back then, but I know that if I will be having sex with a boy, I would really love it if you’re the first one.” You weren't sure if what you said made sense or if it gave out the right message to the boy, especially since he knew that you liked Renjun.

“I told you last night, and I still stand behind my words, Renjun wouldn’t judge you for something like this,” he pointed out, eyes boring into yours as if he’d manage to read your mind. “You don’t need to do this for him.”

“It’s not only for him, yeah, it may be part of the reason, but I just think it’s time I stopped being afraid of being intimate with a guy,” you tried to make your idea make sense to him. He still seemed doubtful, so you forced an awkward smile on your lips as you added almost jokingly: “And I mean, why would I wanna settle for someone else if I can have the hottest guy I know?”

Tickling his ego seemed to finally do the trick, Jaemin’s mouth curved slightly at the corners and his eyes finally softened.

“Well, if you put it that way…“ he said, laughing cheerfully and you were relieved. “Fine, if you’re sure about it, I will help you,” he agreed, his tone still serious, but now it was just to show he understood the importance of what he was agreeing to. “I’ll go with your speed and I will teach you what you ask me about, okay? If you say you want something, we will do it, but I will not be initiating anything.” You nodded, smiling at him in appreciation.

“Can we not tell the others about it though?” you asked carefully, biting your lips. “I mean, Hyuck knows about last night but… can we keep this just between ourselves?”

“I mean, sure,” he shrugged, taking a sip of his drink before he looked at you again and grinned. “We have a deal, princess, just hit me up when you want to-”

“What about right now?” you shot quickly before even realizing it and the surprise on his face was almost comical.

“Well, you sure go all in…” he chuckled, shaking his head. “What do you wanna know first that you’re so impatient about?”

You looked away again, suddenly embarrassed by how eager you were.

“Well, I don’t know, you could just fuck me, like how you said you wanted to last night,” you said, a smirk curving your lips as some sudden wave of confidence washed over you. But it seemed like Jaemin was either not embarrassed to admit that or was better prepared for you now.

“I mean, I would love to,” he chuckled, a cocky smirk on his lips in return. “But lesson number one - don’t fuck a guy who doesn’t have a condom around,” he chuckled, amused at your surprised expression. “Unless, of course, you are taking pills. Or want to risk it with kids.” You quickly shook your head as a no to both.

“Then… we can try something else?” you asked, biting your lips. He was looking at you expectantly and you remembered that he’d said he wouldn’t initiate anything. “Like… we could go on what we dropped off last night and, well, I could give you… a blowjob?”

“You sure?” he asked after a long moment and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes.

“My God, Nana, if I’m asking you to do it, it obviously means that I’m-”

“Fine then, come here” he interrupted you, something in his eyes flashing and you could feel a shiver run down your spine at his deeper tone. You stood in your spot, frozen for a few seconds and a devilish smirk curved his lips. "Having second thoughts already? You seemed pretty sure just now..." he teased and the subtle mockery in his voice seemed to be enough to get you back to your senses.

Setting the half-empty can on the bedside table, you stood up and made your way over to the boy who had put his arms behind himself and leaned back on them as he waited for you. You weren’t exactly sure whether you were supposed to try and seduce him so the way you plopped yourself on his lap wasn’t exactly graceful or sexy, but he didn’t seem to mind as one of his arms wrapped around your waist to support you.

“I think you should refrain from leaving more hickeys though if you don’t want anyone to know about this,” he chuckled softly and you nodded, although quite honestly the thought made you a bit sad.  You had indeed wanted to go ahead and mark him up some more. The thought was quickly pushed to the back of your mind though, in favor of focusing on what you were actually supposed to do.

The task seemed much more difficult now that you knew he wouldn’t stop you and that your mind wasn’t buzzing with too much alcohol.

“You’re supposed to guide me, you know,” you mumbled, wrapping your arms around his neck and another chuckle escaped his lips.

“You wanted to continue from where we stopped last night, I thought you would be okay on your own with that,” he retorted. “Okay, let’s set something straight first,” he licked his lips, his eyes falling on yours for a second before he looked back up to your eyes again. “Is kissing included in this deal? We established yesterday that you are good enough at it already, so there’s no reason to include that in the lessons if you don’t want to.”

You took a moment, considering his question. On one side, he was right and it wasn’t necessary. Plus, it would make the whole thing even more intimate than it already seemed to be. Yet you kind of… wanted to include that as well. And you would probably feel more comfortable if there was something you were already used to in this whole situation. So, finally, you nodded in confirmation.

Seems like that was all he needed as a second later he crashed his lips on yours. For a moment, you were startled by the sudden intensity, yet you kissed back right away, pressing closer to him as if on instinct. He didn’t give you much time, forcing his tongue in your mouth and taking control of you almost immediately. Your fingers pushed through his hair, tugging gently. The arm around your waist tightened its grip and pulled you closer, as his free hand moved to the back of your thigh, squeezing gently.

Kissing Jaemin felt amazing. Even more so now that you were sober and entirely conscious of what was going on. Getting lost in the kiss, you nearly forgot what the real point of this was. You could spend hours more just like this, yet you remembered that “this” was not the main idea of your deal with Jaemin. Getting back to the point, you rolled your hips against his slowly, a low hum coming from the boy in response as he squeezed you harder and bucked his hips up against yours.

“Already getting hard?” you teased him, out of breath, as you pulled away from his lips just enough to be able to speak. You were tempted to go in again, yet you chose against it in favor of kissing down his jawline and lower down his neck, sucking very lightly, trying to keep up your hip movements against him at the same time.

“One of the hottest girls I have ever met literally just asked me to suck me off and is currently grinding on my dick, excuse me if I’m a little affected,” he rolled his eyes, a subtle rasp in his voice as he leaned his head back to give you more space. You felt a flutter in your chest at his compliment. You couldn’t lie, it gave you a small boost of confidence seeing him enjoy your actions so freely.

“Hope I can live up to the expectations,” you whispered against his skin, feeling him shiver slightly at the way your breath hit his skin. Once again, you were kissing down his neck and collarbones. Okay, maybe you were stalling. You were anxious to go on further than this. You tried to excuse the long time you were taking by making sure he was aroused enough to proceed but you knew that the real reason was that you were scared to go on.

“Princess, are you sure you really want to go through with this right now?” he asked breathlessly as if sensing your hesitation. “I already said that I will help, if you’re scared that I will back out by the time you feel ready-” he started but cut himself off when you got off his lap and fell to your knees. The smile you sent his way showcased much more confidence than you actually felt. Pressing his lips in a tight line, he chose to quiet down and observe you.

Carefully, ignoring the slight shaking of your fingers, you reached up and untied the knot of his sweatpants. You chose to look up at him again when you carefully tugged them down together with his underwear. Licking his lips slightly, he lifted his hips to help you, his eyes boring into yours. You let the clothing fall to the floor before finally lowering your eyes to his crotch. The sight overwhelmed you.

The reality of the situation hit you hard as the fact that for the first time in your life you were seeing a man naked (more precisely a man’s lower half), and that man was your best friend Jaemin sunk in. His dick was standing hard between his legs, the tip leaking slightly. You couldn’t objectively compare it to anything, but the size still scared you.

Jaemin gave you a few moments to collect yourself, before letting out a sigh and leaning a bit forward to cup your chin and tilt your head up so you would look at his eyes instead.

“You’re not ready for that, are you?” he asked gently, with no hint of accusation or displeasure in his voice. You gulped slowly. You wanted to go through with it, you wanted to prove that you had not been just talking big words earlier. But you couldn’t push yourself to lie. You expected him to be disappointed, but he smiled instead. “Come on, get up,” he offered.

Something in the way he seemed ready to just drop it all despite literally having you on your knees in front of him made you want to push through, so you shook your head in disagreement. He narrowed his eyebrows.

“Jaemin, I’m supposed to be learning here, how can I learn if I don’t go out of my comfort zone,” you pouted slightly.

“You literally don’t feel comfortable doing this right now,” he pointed out, raising his eyebrow. “Get up, we can do this some other time,” he insisted, yet you still refused to back down. An exasperated chuckle left his lips and he shook his head in disbelief. “Fine. Give me your hand then,” he prompted and you reached up, placing your hand in his expecting one.

Slowly, as if to give you time to change your mind, he brought it forward until both your hands were hovering over his length. His eyes looked into yours for confirmation and when you nodded slightly, he placed your hand on himself, gently wrapping your fingers around the shaft. There was a visible tightening in his body at the action and you observed curiously as he took a short breath before placing his hand on top of yours.

“We’ll leave the blowjobs for next time, okay?” he said and you nodded slightly. “For now, this will do. For both of us,” he clarified, his eyes staring into yours intensely. When you nodded in agreement, he wrapped his fingers over yours and gently tightened his hold as he started moving your hand slowly along his length.

Getting the cue, you took it upon yourself to go on and stroke him, carefully watching his expression for any changes and signs if you’re doing well or need to change something. He seemed tense, though, looking back at you as he slowly moved his hand away and left you on your own. You went for a little longer like that, experimenting slightly by tightening your grip, and were pleased when a sharp exhale escaped Jaemin’s lips, assuring you that, well, at least you weren’t doing terribly.

“You can-“ he said after a while, clearing his throat to get rid of the sudden rasp in his voice before trying again. “You can tease the tip as well if you want.” You hummed in acknowledgment, obediently moving your hand up so you could carefully rub your thumb over his head. The quiet groan that he let out put a small smile on your face so you repeated the action just so you could enjoy the way his body twitched slightly at your actions.

Little by little, you were getting more familiar with what he seemed to enjoy and what made him curse under his breath or bite his lips. You were still hesitant at times, yet by now you were getting the grasp of it. A small thought popped into your mind as you watched Jaemin close his eyes. Slowly, you leaned down and stuck your tongue out, licking the tip as you twisted your hand gently around him.

“Y/N-“ he gasped out, as he unconsciously bucked his hips up and his eyes snapped open at you in surprise. You blinked at him, faking innocence. “Didn’t we agree that-“

“I just wanted to see how you’d react,” you chuckled, biting down your smile as he glared at you. “Am I doing okay?” you asked, using the moment to make sure. Instead of replying, Jaemin scoffed and leaned down a bit to get closer to you.

“The fact that you stopped is killing me right now,” he said, his pupils dilated with lust, you noted. “Be a doll and finish me off, princess, okay?” 

The words sounded more like an order than anything and you couldn’t help but gulp slightly. You had been so used to childish and bubbly Jaemin that the slight hint of dominance he showcased made your stomach twist. Having the moment to yourself, you realized just how needy you were yourself. There was no way that the situation wouldn’t affect you, yet you hadn’t really expected it would be like this.

Shifting uncomfortably in your spot, you refocused on the task at hand, meaning, Jaemin’s dick. You noted that the tip was leaking, as well as the slight tightening of the boy’s stomach when you wrapped your hand around him again and renewed your work. Resting your other hand on his thigh, you did your best to make the boy feel good. Squeezing your hand harder at times, trying to maintain a good rhythm, and it wasn’t even about the learning process anymore. You just wanted to give him the most you could right now.

Your effort didn’t go to waste as soon enough, Jaemin’s breathing got hitched, his body tensed up and before you knew it, he came all over your hand and his stomach, making a mess out of his t-shirt (that you honestly regretted keeping on him… but there was time for everything).

It took him a while to calm his breath and focus properly again, his eyes landing on you again. A small awkward smile curved his lips as he reached over to his bedside table and pulled out a pack of tissues. You reached over to get them, but he stopped you and carefully cleaned up your hand instead, as well as his stomach, before helping you up and letting you sit on the bed while he fixed his pants and went to change the t-shirt.

You shifted uncomfortably in your seat, feeling how your own arousal had grown to an almost unbearable point. You could ask Jaemin to help you out, you thought… But would that be okay? The deal was to have him teach you the things you didn't know, it wasn't like he owed you any more favors. So you suppressed the idea of having Jaemin eat you out that had popped uninvited and did your best to ignore the wetness between your legs.

“Well, that was something,” he laughed when he was finally back, picking up his forgotten can and taking a large sip. You couldn’t help but notice he avoided looking at you. “You’re not at all bad, you just need to gain confidence,” he smiled at the wall behind your back and you narrowed your eyebrows.

“Nana?” you questioned, getting a hum in response. Yet he still wouldn’t look at you so you got up and walked over to him, grabbing his face gently and turning him so he wouldn’t have the option not to look at you. “You good?” you asked, scared you’d fucked up somewhere. Maybe everywhere.

“Yea, don’t worry, princess,” he smiled, a little strained, yet a blink later he went back again to beaming as usual. "Mind still going over this whole thing, y’know,” he laughed cheerfully.

You hummed quietly, choosing to believe him for now, as you smiled as well.

“Jaem,” you said, drawing a hum from him before you leaned over to peck his cheek. “Thank you for helping me,” you mumbled quietly, before pulling away from him with a grin. “Now, I remember that you promised me at the end of last year that we can watch that show I've been waiting for together and you still owe that to me.”

And with that, the tension from earlier seemed to go away, the deal buried down in both of your minds until the next time, as you made your way to the living room and curled up on the couch together with a pack of chips.

[binks-brew-co]

Waking Up

Law takes care of his patient when Luffy wakes up after Marineford for the first time. Inspired by the fanart at the end of the post (not sure who the original artist is).

Tags: Lawlu, fluff(?), no sexual content/overtones, mostly canon-compliant, hurt and comfort, allusion to death of a loved one, medical equipment/situation/injury [~1700 words]

This is my first fanfiction (since middle school at least). Please go easy on me if I've missed things or not done things totally standard.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“ACE!”

Law froze where he stood, but only for a second. Without thinking, he threw himself down the corridor. Of course he would wake up as soon as I left the recovery room. of course it would be when I was in the furthest part of the ship. Of course I got distracted.

At least he could be thankful he wasn’t on a supply run to the island. He and Beppo had been trading off shifts, watching his injured charge for signs of either discomfort or recovery, but he didn’t want the navigator to have to do his job for him. Or, based on the tone of the cry, for Strawhat to be seen by anyone but his doctor during this time.

He burst through the door, its yellow metal clanging hard against the connecting wall. Law felt the echo ring in his ears as he moved inside. Stepping through the submarine's hatches often felt like going through a portal - like one of those fairy stories he used to read in books - and, unfortunately, this time was no different.

Strawhat sat upright in the bed. The dim light created an illusion on the boy’s bandages - ethereal, his thin frame wrapped in gauze seemed to glow. Was it moonlight? There weren’t any windows. The ghostly light made it hard to focus his eyes. Although it shrouded Strawhat, hints of the light echoed around the room, or at least where the darkness couldn’t fully reach. Like iridescent threads in black velvet - a facsimile of being alive. Although the sub was above water, Law could have sworn they were miles beneath the sea. The air was oppressive.

Strawhat’s eyes were wide open. He was barely breathing, eyes trained on the wall like he could punch through it with only his mind. Upon seeing his patient, Law felt a profound weakness seize his muscles, like he’d met an enemy that he clearly couldn’t defeat. He remembered it from his time at the beginning of the Grand Line - simultaneous awe and helplessness. A realization that the world was much bigger than he’d imagined, as was the depth of its history. And its suffering.

Strawhat remained fixated on the wall, but his eyes did not move between the bolts and rivets. Law took a step closer, not wanting to startle him, although he realized with regret that the door would have done that anyways. He had to stop letting himself get carried away.

“Strawhat?” He asked into the air. No response. “You need rest. You need to lay back down. I’ll help you.”

Once motionless, the boy’s body began to tremble. Then, not unlike an earthen tremor becomes a quake, his hands and arms suddenly jerked into an unnatural motion, while his backbone spasmed. Law jumped into action, moving faster than he knew was possible towards the side of the bed. The momentary weakness was forgotten in favor of medical experience. Seizing Luffy’s wrists, he clasped them together in one hand while throwing the bedsheets out of the way. Becoming entangled in them was a real threat - his legs hadn’t been spared by the battle at Marineford either and were at risk for further damage. Once the arms were under control, with the precision of a surgeon, he grasped Strawhat’s back firmly. Just enough pressure to keep him still. Luffy let out a strangled cry as Law clasped his nape. Please, please calm down. This is too early for you to wake up. You have to rest. You’ll hurt yourself. As if to respond to Law’s silent pleas, Luffy sniffled. He dug his forehead and nose into Law’s shoulder like a starving dog looking for food, causing Law’s pulse to skip ever so slightly. He’d dealt with grieving patients, he’d dealt with mental breakdowns and spasms and seizures - but the way Luffy grasped his shirt, digging down into his skin, felt different somehow.

It must be the level of grief. Fire Fist’s death did seem to be particularly gruesome, even for Law’s sensibilities. As he glanced down at the matted black hair of his charge, his grip buckled ever so slightly. The expression etched on Luffy’s face when Jimbei and that crass clown delivered him - when Law emerged from the sea to care for the boy who had lost his brother - was haunting. Frozen in time, a picture of death and pain. Contorted yet blank, just like loss itself.

Law noticed a wetness gathering on his shoulder, seeping through his shirt and tickling his skin. As Strawhat heaved, it only grew, until Law could feel it dripping down his front. The tremors that had wracked the boy’s body gradually faded, though a faint tremble still remained. Law suspected it might never fully go away. Sensing resignation, he released his grip on Luffy’s wrists, letting them hang loosely on his legs.

Strawhat lifted his head, eyes fluttering among the tears. Taking a trembling arm behind Law’s body, he reached out into space, grasping at the wisps of light that were beyond reach. “Ace?” This call was little more than a whisper itself, squeaking out of a damaged throat, unlike the scream that had escaped earlier.

At this, Law squeezed his eyes closed and held Luffy a little tighter, perhaps closer than professionalism would say he should. His hairline was suddenly itchy from sweat, causing him to toss his spotted hat on the ground next to the bed. As Luffy continued to grasp at ghosts, his weakened muscles contorting under Law’s embrace, the doctor pushed back a sea of his own memories. Not now Cora. I have to see this through. This isn’t about us, this isn’t about me. Everything is about him right now. And yet the memories of his own tears spilled through regardless of what the doctor ordered.

His hand shifted back and he felt more wet droplets on the sheets. He pulled back to see Luffy’s arm dropped down, eyes still riveted to an invisible anchor. I need to break that, I need to get him to stop staring. Law reached his now free hand over and gently placed it over Strawhat’s eyes, like a calloused veil. He could feel eyelashes fluttering underneath his palm and fingers - so ticklish he almost pulled away. Instead, he leaned in pressing the tips of his fingers against Luffy’s temple and brushing his thumb against his bangs. Not exactly traditional bedside manner, but then again I am rather nontraditional. Luffy’s forehead was warm and his cheeks wet, droplets seeping through Law’s finger tips as he held his patient close.

They might have remained like that for minutes or hours, Law couldn’t be sure. Time stood still in this moment, as if the universe was reading the same sentence over and over again. What was it trying to glean from these limited words? What was it trying to see?

Despite the scream from earlier, nobody disturbed the moment. Law couldn’t decide if he was proud of his crew for trusting him or angry that they would let a situation like this be. After some time, Luffy let out a long sigh - although it sounded more like a hoarse whimper - and his contracting muscles relaxed. The boy leaned his entire body weight into Law’s chest, adrift in the storm. Law held on longer than he should have, before gently removing himself from the bed and laying Luffy down with two hands. His stabilized breathing was all the gratitude Law needed.

As Luffy settled back in the makeshift hospital bed, Law brought the covers back up to Luffy’s chest. His fingers brushed the white bandages, and he remembered how many layers and bloody cloth they went through to get him here. So long as he doesn’t exert himself too much, he’ll be okay. I’ll have to remind Jimbei and the others before he wakes up again. Especially that woman, Hancock. She’d been enough of a pain as it was, though his crew mates were happy to partake in her hospitality.

A cough from under the covers shook Law out of his ruminations. Luffy had opened his eyes, and though glassy they weren’t fixated on anything but Law himself. The doctor took a sharp breath in, though he wasn’t sure why, and suddenly felt the urge to check on all of the bedside equipment.

“You’re that guy from Sabaody right? The one who flipped me off?” Strawhat managed to croak.

Law cringed. Why did Strawhat’s one moment of lucidity have to be remembering that? “Yeah. My name is Law.”

“I thought I saw a longer name on your wanted poster.”

“Well, my full name is Trafalgar Law.” He remembers my wanted poster but not that we fought Marines together?

“That’s too long.”

Law grunted in frustration as he turned to examine Strawhat’s drip bag. “Then why did you ask?”

“I think I’ll call you Traffy.”

“What?” Law shot back. “Are you kidding me?” But by the time he whipped back around, Luffy was snoring. What an infuriating guy. First he screams and shoots out of bed and it takes all I can do to calm him down, and the second I don’t want him to rest he’s fast asleep. Does his crew have to deal with this?

The doctor remained at the bedside for some time, eventually pulling up a chair so he didn’t have to sit on the cold, metal floor. Luffy’s breathing was regular, though his face would scrunch or he would make choking sounds. The occasional spasm was to be expected, although Law wondered what demons his patient was fighting in his sleep. The next time he wakes up, it might not be as pretty. But, for this moment, the grief he knew Strawhat would be contending with for the rest of his life was sated.

The universe continued to hold its breath.

[alice-after-dark]

some babble dump expanding further on this post, this post, and this post about why Vox is in Hell. There will probably be more posts about this because I am fascinated by this sentient TV.

TW for sexual abuse, abusive relationships, victim blaming, gaslighting, mentions of suicide, mentions of homophobia, and other canon-typical triggers. Contains abusive StaticMoth.

So unlike a lot of headcanons I see about Vox's human life, I actually think he didn't have a lot of power when he was alive. That's part of why he's so power hungry and a control freak in Hell. He never wants to go back to being powerless. I think that Vox's big sin that landed him in Hell was that he saw the abuse and suffering going on around him and chose to remain silent about it for the sake of his own career and success. Because most people don't start out bad, I do like to think that the first time he witnessed something, he did try to express concern to his boss and was shut down hard. I imagine the term "blacklist" was probably involved (potentially even a prod at his sexuality, though whether this was just to scare him or because the producer actually had some clue is up for debate). So he shuts up like a good little boy, not willing to lose everything he has worked for. Besides, that starlet he saw coming out of his boss' office in tears got the gig, didn't she? So really it's just about doing what you need to do to get ahead in the game (at least that's how he rationalizes it to himself).

And the more he witnesses, the more normalized it becomes to him. It's just...part of the industry. You do what you gotta do to stay on top, to stay relevant. If anything, there's a part of him that is almost jealous that these women can use their sexuality to get ahead while if he were to offer the same, it would destroy him. And that is how he starts to see it, how he convinces himself to look away. These women are doing this to get ahead in their careers. They don't need help. And then he finally gets a role on a popular late night show as a cohost and he is over the moon. He has worked his whole life for this. Every menial job, every audition, every jab and jeer and degradation has been worth it because he has finally made it. And then he witnesses his cohost being abused by their producer and instead of sympathy, it makes him angry. He has worked his ass off to get where he is and all she had to do was get on her knees? It enrages him.

On air, they're jovial and have great chemistry, but once those cameras stop rolling and they're away from the audience, he goes cold to her and certainly doesn't bother to intervene when their producer wants to private meeting or two with her. It's not his business anyways. Even when she finally ends her own life due to the abuse, he just...pushes down that feeling that something is so very wrong and continues on as the show's solitary host. He can't rationalize her death as easily so he just...ignores it entirely. He throws himself into his work and ignores it. It haunts him. It haunts him when her sister breaks into the studio and demands answers from him.

Why did she do it? Why why why why why?

He has no answer to give her. Because how can he explain it away to her when he hasn't even managed to explain it to himself? At least, not without admitting that something is so very wrong. And he can't do that.

This is what makes his relationship with Valentino so fun to explore for me. He spent his entire human life turning a blind eye to all the abuse around him for the sake of furthering his own career and now, still for the sake of furthering his own career and power, he finds himself trapped in an abusive relationship, one that he desperately keeps out of the public eye. Because it would make him look weak. And he can absolutely not be weak again.

In Hell, he has so much power and yet...he's still terrified of losing everything.

(Side note that this is a big reason Vox holds no sympathy for Angel Dust. As far as he's concerned, Angel is just another leech trying to get ahead in the world, using his body for fame and fortune. The dumb bitch wanted to be famous so badly that he sold his soul to Valentino. His mistakes are his own fault. He got what he wanted, didn't he? He's the most famous whore in Hell. At least this is how Vox sees it. Because admitting that Angel doesn't want this - admitting that HE doesn't want this - means admitting that all those women he ignored and even hated during his lifetime were actually in need of his help and he can't do that.)

[bonefall]

i would love to see more about bb!crowfeather, if you haven’t done a post about him already? (i tried digging but couldn’t find one, dunno if that’s just tumblr search being broken tho)

I'll make him a big summary post once I've settled on a design I like for him, I'm stuck up on if I want him to be smooth or spiky. So here's a little doodle page + some casual notes

Me: "I'm not a fan of projecting real world culture onto BB redux cats,and if I ever was giving a character an in universe accent it would specifically be to give the smartest character on screen a very thick northern english one to stick it in the face of the way southern english accents are associated with intelligence"

Also me: "but crowfeather is italian"

BB!Crow is pretty different from canon

My Crow is a very passionate guy, it's never lost from his young warrior days. Many of the late Po3/early OotS moments where Leafpool is confessing her love in front of his wife and children are from him to her instead

Mudclaw and Torear are some of the best cooks in WindClan during the late Thistle Period. Crowpaw was super close with his mentor Mudclaw, and picked this up from him

For the Great Journey, Crow mashed up his personal collection of mealworms to make tunnelbun rations for everyone

And SPEAKING of the Great Journey, he was already a warrior at the time. His name was Crowfoot, for his mom and dad

Both Dead and Ash were old friends of Bluestar, members of the forget-me-nots.

Ashfoot shared this with him when he was young, and also that Tigerstar was responsible for killing his dad

This feeds into some changes I'm making to have Crow be slightly less frustrating during the Journey. He's still angry, short tempered, and dramatic, but MUCH less openly antagonistic

Squilf and him are usually involved in food related escapades, youll see when I finish the notes of TNP

Feathertail's death changes everyone. Crow most of all.

Crow is an impulsive young warrior. He throws himself headfirst into things, often forgetting that he isn't the only person in the world who matters. Feathertail felt like cool water, reminding him how to slow down and take a breath

The romantic affection was mutual, but imo I don't think it would have lasted.

But no one will ever know if it will, least of all Crowfoot, who is convinced that they both died that day in the mountain

Tallstar’s final name is Crow's honor title; Crowfeather.

And then Leafpooooooool

When she ultimately isn't willing to, like, throw away everyone she's ever loved and go live in the wildnerness with him, Crowfeather loses his marbles, convinced now that Actually He is Unlovable

And still he gets with Nightcloud, thinking that he can't possibly be hurt any more, he must re-prove his loyalty after he vanished for a week... it really was a pretty knee-jerk choice he didn't think through and rationalized post-hoc

No consideration for Nightcloud here.

This post isn't about Nightcloud btw but she is actually pretty reduxed too. The fact she was involved in the raid to kill Onewhisker is politically relevant to Breezepelt later

And Breezy, poor fucking Breeze

Crow is a garbage dad. Breeze is really not in a good environment with him and Nightcloud.

Through points in Po3, before Breeze becomes the villain who kills Firestar and sees a redemption in AVoS, I am planning several moments to establish that Breezepaw is perfectly capable of being a loving cat if he was in a better life situation

To Crowfeather's benefit, age will do wonders on mellowing him out.

He does tend to struggle with compassion though, and remains a pretty harsh character for most of his life.

Crow wanted to be a Light in the Mist to even begin to apologize to Breeze, but Breeze knocks him out lmao no more Crowf worship thanks erins

Anyway. Onto design stuff

Hollyleaf and Breezepelt look a LOT like grandpa Deadfoot, but I'm not sure if I want Crowfeather to look a lot like him

I'm leaning towards him looking like Ashfoot detail-wise but have Deadfoot’s face.

Btw you can observe, here, the WindClan Tail Tuft.

Most WindClan cats have a lighter-colored tail tuft to help them be seen in tall grass, it's a feature like the ThunderClan Mane you may have noticed in a lot of my TC cats.

Ashfoot and Morningflower have a cloudy swirl on their tails, and a "whispy" sort of vibe. Deadfoot and his dad Chicorynose have a dragon-arrow.

Holly got the dragon arrow because She Deserves It

I'm fond of this redux lmao, let men be dramatic

[holly-fixation]

Everyone loves a good old fix-it AU, and in the case of Final Fantasy VII, it usually involves burning all the BAD things at Nibelheim: Jenova's body and Shinra Manor (at least the basement).

Though I am guilty of this same easy plot line, I cannot believe it to be true in universe. Fair warning, what follows is a break down of in game Canon, analysis, and my own headcanons on what would happen if Jenova's body burned.

In game canon:

Everything that lives and dies on the Planet returns to the planet. The Planet gives life to the next soul born. This keeps the Planet's circle of life rolling and the Lifestream strong. The Lifestream is every soul that has died on the planet, becoming this sort of consciousness soup as you see in the Who Am I sequence of FF7.

Why does this matter?

Every soul that dies on the Planet becomes one with the Planet. And this poses a problem when a malevolent alien lands on the surface.

In the videos Gast recorded in Icicle Village, Ifalna explains that Jenova spread a virus and that the Planet would never be able to fully heal itself as long as it exists. The surviving Cetra "defeated" and "confined" Jenova to the Northern Crater/Cave. And despite its confinement, "it could still come back to life at some time."

In the game, Sephiroth's goal is to become a god by summoning meteor, which would force all the planet's energy (the Lifestream) to one place for him to absorb.

Adding just a little bit of content from Advent Children: Geostigma, the virus that spreads S cells, is assumed to be connected with close and long proximity to mako. Mako is refined Lifestream for energy generation. Sephiroth is dead at this point.

Also, Sephiroth's plan in Advent Children: "The last thoughts of geostigma’s dead. Those Remnants will join the Lifestream and girdle the planet – choking it, corroding it."

Analysis/My head canon:

Defeated and confined do not mean killed. "It can come back to life" can easily mean "it can regain control of itself". Think about cryo-stasis where a body and (hopfully) a mind can be kept suspended with minimal aging usually up to a certain point, say waiting for a cure to be discovered for a person's terminal illness (yes I am using Mr. Freeze's wife as my example but hear me out). What I'm saying is, Jenova's probably not DEAD dead at the Northern Crater.

The Cetra probably were probably warned by the Planet that if Jenova were to die, it's virus would enter the Planet/Lifestream itself (like Geostigma). So my conclusion has always been, (even from my first play through of the game when I didn't even know about the scenes with Gast and Ifalna or the movie), Jenova is alive from the moment she landed on the Planet. In stasis? Yes. Mobile? Hell no. Psychologically active? No in game evidence and though I do love the idea, (this will does not apply in this post though).

So long story long, Jenova's burned body may lead to early Geostigma/Jenoav's specific virus and rotting of the planet from the inside out. It may accelerate Jenova's plans instead of halting them indefinitely. And God forbid whoever in the fix it burns the body also throws her remains into the mako below, she might rebuild her body using the Lifestream itself. After all, Sephiroth wanted to absorb the Lifestream to become a God. Why wouldn't Jenova be able to do the same?

Anyway, thanks for coming to my TED talk.

[pyropsychiccollector]

Shiro Harem: Holy Grail War... of Love 1/7

As you guys know, the poll ended up being a 3-way tie... Technically. Although, based off the accidental "first" poll where Artoria had more votes tying her with Sakura... I'm gonna be generous and throw the King of Knights in here as an "unofficial" winner. It's the only poll that changed drastically enough, and I feel bad for flubbing up the first time. XD

... So, uh. Yeah. I'll be writing up 4 posts before posting anything. Be sure to cycle through my posts to find your favorite girl(s)... The official winners are Rin, Sakura, and Luvia. I'll be getting to Mitsuzuri, Illya, and Reines later. XD

Let's get to it, then. The first girl~... (人◕ω◕)

The Beginning

I'm gonna be weird here. I'll focus on Luvia first. (人◕ω◕) Why? Because Sakura, Rin, and Artoria are pretty predictable pairings for Shiro (all of them I support, but they're still pretty well-known ships), and they'll still be posted alongside Luvia here anyway. Let's give Luvia her day in the sun~...

Well. Her full name's Luviagelita Edelfelt. Heiress to the Edelfelt family. As far as members of the harem go, she's pretty late to the festivities... She's not even a participant of the Holy Grail War, which is a defining moment in Shiro's young life. Before we tread too much farther, I'm going to make a clarification...

Fate: Stay Night is all about branching timelines. As such, to cater to all seven members of this harem in a single worldline, we'll be looking at an AU separate from the canon ones, regardless of how similarly events may play out. Just a forewarning.

With that friendly public service announcement out in the open, let's jump right into it. (人◕ω◕) We'll be digging into the particulars of this AU's Holy Grail War in the other posts. For this one, I'm focusing on the postwar situation, since that's when Luvia came into play.

Luvia... is a young magus studying at the Clocktower in London. Pretty much the center of the magical world, the place where most magi want to end up, at least if they want to be distinguished or want to grow stronger. ... Sometimes both. (人◕ω◕) Luvia comes from an affluent, aristocratic family that practices Jewel Magecraft. As is the standard with their family lineage, she has a younger twin sister who remained behind in Finland, and is the complete opposite of her as a quiet introvert. ... Which is to say, Luvia is quite extroverted, and usually has a pleasant, graceful demeanor.

... Unless you happen to be Rin Tohsaka, in which case Luvia is always ready for a brawl. (人◕ω◕)

Did we mention she's rich? Because she is. She bought a European-style mansion not far from the Clocktower, but usually stays in the dorms, alongside Shiro and Rin... She attempted to purchase 28 rooms in the dorm to have a full floor to herself, but Rin got in the way of that, possessing a letter from Lord El-Melloi that allowed her and Shiro to have rooms on that floor... (人◕ω◕) You can imagine what transpired. That poor, poor receptionist's desk...

Still, in spite of Luvia's catty relationship with Rin, the young aristocrat is quite taken with Shiro... Or Shero, as she adoringly refers to him~... This is in part because...

1: Shiro is not a Tohsaka.

2. Shiro is the ideal gentleman type.

So even if Luvia and Rin brawl, Shiro doesn't intervene unless the sparring goes too far. Especially not in scheduled Clocktower classes. (人◕ω◕) Sure, Shiro tries politely getting them to tone it down, to get along... But Luvia can tell Shero understands that sometimes, ladies need to vent. And she does appreciate that kindhearted, empathetic part of him. Really. It's one of his defining traits. (人◕ω◕)

Luvia first met Shiro on the day he and Rin arrived in London, looking for lodgings. They were both lost, and ended up helping each other out. Luvia even brings him on as a part-time servant at her mansion. Helps pay the rent. (人◕ω◕)

But even after that initial phase of getting to know one another... Luvia became quite enamored and interested in Shiro~... He's a very interesting man: The adopted son of Kiritsugu Emiya, a veritable boogeyman of the magi world, and by proxy adopted grandson of Norikata Emiya, a sealing designate. He really is nothing like his family, at least not in the ways that matter. Shiro isn't hunting magi, he's not performing illegal experiments... As far as Luvia knows, he's following all the rules of the Clocktower as Rin's apprentice, and he genuinely cares for Luvia as a friend despite how roughly she treats Rin. (人◕ω◕)

The Middle Act

It does make Luvia curious, however... With how wonderful Shero is, there must be some darkness in him. Some blemish or skeletons in the closet... Luvia probes into Shiro's background, using what contacts and resources she has. Not because she's paranoid or thinks he'll stab her in the back... But you can never be too careful with fellow magi. They certainly like keeping their secrets.

The answers that Luvia stumble upon are... shocking, to say the least. There's apparently a ritual in the East called Heaven's Feel, which can be used to gain access to the Root. Something that all true magi seek to one day get to... But that information isn't what fascinated Luvia. The ritual itself became... contaminated, corrupted. And it's a ritual that repeats itself after several decades of storing up magical power, the Grail picking out seven people to summon Heroic Spirits to fight to the last man...

Again, not even that part interested Luvia. Not really. She already got the gist of the Grail Wars because her ancestors participated in it... The corruption tidbit was something she hadn't heard about, but apparently the problem was dealt with in this last Fifth Holy Grail War... By Shiro, Rin, and a few others. There was even indications that King Arthur himself had retained a physical form after the war, and resided in Japan... at Shero's home.

Yeah. Those were the shocking tidbits. Or that began to cover them, anyway. Not only did Shiro help stop a cataclysmic event, but he also held a deep bond with the King of Knights. ... Shiro also had a habit of being selfless to a fault, nearly sacrificing himself several times throughout that war... Even tried going toe-to-toe with Heroic Spirits... There wasn't many details of Shiro's past, though. Let alone the tales of his exploits... They were apparently getting the Top Secret treatment from the Clocktower, Luvia was lucky enough to find out what she did.

... So she attempted going straight to Shero about it. Find out what kind of man he was, because Luvia was too invested to stop digging now. Still... Luvia's questions were uncomfortable for Shiro; he couldn't bring himself to open up to an "outsider" the kind of trauma he's endured... Ultimately, what stopped him from talking about it is how everyone he's opened up to has reacted.

Anger.

Deep sadness.

Pity.

Rin made no attempt to hide the fact she disagreed with his dream of putting everyone else before himself... It's kinda why he ended up coming to the Clocktower with her. Shiro wanted to appease Rin, even if he had every intention of carrying on as he was. The Holy Grail War was a huge moment in his life, and it solidified his path forward, at least in his mind.

Sakura was just as distressed and displeased about Shiro's selflessness as Rin was. The same went for Illya, Medusa, Saber, and Mitsuzuri. They were letting Rin "handle it" for the few years they'd be at the Clocktower, attempting to "fix" him, but Shiro knew he'd be in for it when they eventually returned home... This is why he had no doubt Luvia would react in a similar way as them.

And... Shiro just didn't want to hear it from an outsider. Someone who hadn't been there in the Grail War. It was hard enough bearing his heart to his precious people who had been there at one of the most harsh and unforgiving battles in his young life... If he put others before himself, that was his business. He didn't need Luvia or anyone else telling him, "That's not right!" ... Cuz he got plenty of that from Rin. ... And Sakura.

... Of course they would be sisters...

So Shiro ran away from that conversation, leaving a very vexed and troubled Luvia Edelfelt in his wake. Sure, Shiro didn't have to share anything he didn't want to... But to completely clam up like that? Shut her out...? Luvia would be lying if she said that didn't hurt...

She wouldn't have much time to plan out her next steps, however. Rin would hear about Shiro's sudden dour mood, and bicker with Luvia about her nosy behavior.

It, uh... (人◕ω◕);;; It wouldn't take long for Lord El-Melloi II to break them up. Massive collateral damage, even going by their standards, and they got a massive chewing out for "inappropriate conduct in the halls of the Clocktower."

It also wouldn't take Rin and Waver long to figure out what Luvia was prying into. And though they believed the questions more pertinent to Shiro's state of mind were his to answer, they did reluctantly satisfy what they could of Luvia's curiosity. Hopefully to keep a repeat of this debacle from ever happening again. Rin didn't think it was Luvia's place at all to ask about Shiro or the Grail War, but Waver allowed it... (人◕ω◕);;;

And even with Waver's charity... Even with the understanding Shiro was an orphan from the ending of the Fourth Grail War, and that being how Kiritsugu adopted him... Luvia just had to know why Shiro didn't want to talk about any of this. From what she was told, it didn't sound like Shiro had PTSD... not per se. She honestly just wanted to know how being saved by Kiritsugu made him the man that he is today. The brave, yet admittedly brash, hero.

So Luvia cornered Shiro again, despite Rin's warnings to leave him alone. And upon seeing that she had learned the long and short of his life's story... he grudgingly opened up to Luvia, knowing full well she was gonna react just like everyone else.

The thing is... Luvia didn't. She didn't react the way Shiro was expecting. After hearing his dream, hearing what made Shiro Emiya tick... Luvia grew thoughtful. Sure, she could see why Rin was so frustrated with his selflessness... It wasn't a "proper" way to live, not by any stretch of the imagination.

... But as an Edelfelt, Luvia knew the mindset of dedicated servants. You could flat out order someone to retire, to settle down, be happy... And the most loyal, the most obstinate, the most stubborn of servants wouldn't be able to honor that request. Because they placed the happiness of their masters first. Shiro was absolutely thinking along those same lines, putting the rest of the world above himself because he didn't want anyone to cry...

It was a fool's dream, and Luvia couldn't fathom even a fraction of that selflessness as an heiress to her noble family.

But... Luvia had found ways to make her family's servants feel like people, to have moments of happiness even if they didn't prioritize their happiness... She could understand Rin's outrage perfectly well. Of course Luvia was concerned for Shero as well. But it's not possible to change the mindset of a servant on a dime, to let them have autonomy and a sense of self.

You have to take it one step at a time. Reflect back the loyalty you're given. As he is, Shero couldn't possibly imagine what it's like to be "happy". To have fun. To be even a tiny bit selfish.

And that's perfectly alright. Shero had signed himself on as her servant, even if just part-time, and that made Shero her responsibility. (人◕ω◕) Yes. Her Shero. Rin will just have to deal, the bratty Tohsaka heiress didn't know a thing about "true" royalty. if she did, Rin wouldn't be trying to brute force Shero into being a "normal" person. Because that's just not happening anytime soon. (人◕ω◕)

Despite his "servant" mindset, Luvia doesn't see him as truly below her. She quite sympathizes with the "commoners", and prefers a simple man to one of her station and caliber. Shero shall be her "pet project". ... Whether Rin likes it or not. (人◕ω◕)(人◕ω◕)(人◕ω◕)(人◕ω◕)(人◕ω◕)

The Future

Shiro doesn't stay at the Clocktower for long, just a few years as he's allowed. And Rin goes back to Japan with him, despite resolving to return to properly study there someday.

... And to both of their chagrin, Luvia also comes to Japan with them. (人◕ω◕) It took some time, but Luvia arranged for the ruins of the old Edelfelt castles to be scrapped, and for a new one to be erected. ... Well, calling it a castle might be a little overexaggerating. (人◕ω◕) More like... Luvia paid an exorbitant amount of money to have a European-style mansion to be built within five minutes of where Shiro lives. Basically a stone's throw away. (人◕ω◕)

Luvia explains to Shiro that she's taking a break from studying at the Clocktower, too. And despite appearances, she won't necessarily be staying in Japan... Not permanently. Only when Shero's there. And she will be funding any trips around the world that he may be drawing up in his head, in his efforts to help people...

Of course, Shiro doesn't like being a burden to Luvia. Dictating her life in any way. And, well. Luvia says that's too bad, cuz she's going to help him even if he refuses it. The Edelfelt fortune is quite vast. And no matter where he tries to run, Luvia will find him. (人◕ω◕) He's a bit unnerved at her tenacity, and knows not to underestimate her resources...

But moreover, he's terrified of Rin, Illya, Saber, and Sakura's violent reactions to Luvia showing up out of the blue and pampering Shiro left and right. He was not expecting Sakura to get worked up, that's for sure. And he knows Medusa is still fiercely loyal to Sakura-chan, so Luvia's in trouble if she's set off too much... (人◕ω◕)

Luvia in general is... terrifying. (人◕ω◕) No matter how hard he tries, she just keeps showering him in generosity and charity. And in spite of his dream, Shiro finds himself... softening up to all the kind gestures. Mostly because Rin revels in the lavish stuff, like heavenly soft beds, state-of-the-art baths, imported chocolates... All except for the technology stuff. ... Don't talk to Rin about Blu-Ray players. ...... Don't. (人◕ω◕);;; In all seriousness, Shiro doesn't care about wealth or exceedingly rich and elegant stuff... But seeing Rin mooch off of him, enjoying Luvia's gifts... Luvia knows full well he wants his precious people happy, and so to make them satisfied through gifts given to him... She knows damn well how to play the game. Shiro can't object too much if Rin - or now others - are enjoying Luvia's very gracious gifts... Deep down he wants to, but knows he can't. (人◕ω◕) It especially gets vexing when Luvia gives him the world on a silver platter when it comes to renovating his kitchen. His one sanctuary in his home. (人◕ω◕)(人◕ω◕)(人◕ω◕) People know to let him handle the cooking... So for Luvia to give him the nicest kitchen one can buy...

... Well. It's probably the first time Shiro is perfectly fine being selfish.... Because he can take care of his precious people better with a state-of-the-art kitchen. (人◕ω◕) Yeah, that's the excuse he's running with. Don't you judge him. (人◕ω◕)

Luvia will keep softening Shiro up as the years go by. Loyalty gets repaid in spades, as far as she's concerned. (人◕ω◕)(人◕ω◕)(人◕ω◕) Now... if she "hypothetically" arranges for a marriage between Shiro and herself, obtaining his signature while he's distracted making dinner one night... If such a little thing were to happen.... (人◕ω◕)

Of course this begins World War 3 in the Emiya household. ... Or perhaps a new Grail War? Who can say? (人◕ω◕) The ladies are certainly plotting marriages and baby Shiro's, anything to keep him from being a suicidal idiot that later became a bitter idiot in the guise of a Heroic Spirit...

But that's a story for another time. (人◕ω◕)

[aoxizu]

so on xhs a lot of people have been complaining about the star rail live concert, and out of curiosity for how bad it is really, i went to watch it myself

and i don't know what these people were on about the concert is great

so here's my thoughts on it

as i do not happen to live in shanghai and am in fact 15 hours away from it, i watched the stream playback on youtube. youtube's awful compression and my lack of strong wifi signal aside, the concert overall was good and though i haven't watched the penacony part yet, what i have watched was geeat

starting off with herta's space station we have kafka's canon, which weirdly fits penacony with the clock theme, and interstellar journey was very energetic too

i am not a violinist and did not look too hard at kafka's violin playing but it felt a little off, though the overall movements seemed to be about right

apart from kafka, there was relatively little virtual character models showing up and pretending to do the concert themselves, which i expected as i was used to vsinger/chinese vocaloid concerts in which the fictional characters generally pretend to be singing, or dancing while the music plays

as an example here's ordinary disco performed live with an arrangement that includes all 6 vsingers

the graphics chosen for space walk were also nteresting, like i don't get it but i think it's very cool nonetheless, and i did like how it set the scene as a very dreamy vibe to then get interrupted by the antimatter legion i mean battle themes.

overall i think the best parts of the hss section were interstellar journey and silver wolf's theme for me personally, and i did also like the rest of it

for some reason topaz's theme is in here instead of with the rest of belobog

but anyway, moving on now to jarilo vi

wildfire still has the same kick to it as when i first fought cocolia, and i am going to take the chance here to plug one of my favorite analysis videos for star rail i have seen so far: how embers became a wildfire

and the jarilo vi section is also home to one song that is absolutely worth the whole 2 hours of concert, if you don't want to watch the whole thing at least watch serval's song, detonation arrives at dawn, timestamp 40:00 on the youtube video

it is not just a cover of the version used in her trailer, it includes a rap from eunice/88 degrees bedrock, which can be found in the game by talking to eunice in the robot settlement

and it is so cool. it's amazing.

and then we move on to the xianzhou luofu

so far you've been thinking this is a normal concert, with people coming up on stage to sing, dance, or perhaps dance while singing. the luofu throws that out of the water, literally, with the water jets that obscure the stage and then Part as samudrartha kicks in

which speaking of link to a cover of samudrartha by zhao yang, screwllum's chinese va, who was salty that he wasn't able to get tickets to the concert and decided to sing it himself

the suona goes insane during blade's theme, and even though it doesn't last very long, it carries enough energy to make up for it

and the chinese acrobatics section in the middle of the luofu part is pretty fun as well

and i think watching the concert and being able to listen to so many different songs in short succession seems to help with recognizing similar themes or motifs through different songs, such as in samudrartha there is a section of descending notes that parallels the descending bell sequence in the exalting sanctum theme, and which is present in a lot of places on the luofu actually, which leads me to think that it could represent the luofu as a primary motif

the phantylia second phase chant is very menacing also, and the introduction is cool for obvious reasons (jing yuan)

for those who have remained blissfully unaware, i like jing yuan, and i have 102 days worth of posts on this tumblr account chronicling my journey to save for him. clearly i may be slightly biased.

but you should trust me when i say that jing yuan being at the end of the entire luofu section is absolutely amazing and live audience videos capture it particularly well, as the youtube stream doesn't quite do justice to the energy and volume of the audience

jing yuan deserves the finale spot. he's incredible

i wish i could have been there just for the drums, but i will settle with being able to watch it from a different continent at all

as for the rest of the concert, ie the penacony part, i haven't gotten to watch that yet, but i was able to watch funny bone and sam's theme, and funny bone is convincing me to watch the entire hoyofair (star rail section), because i can't believe i missed it it's so good

i think, overall, why people didn't like the concert is because it was not as 2d-heavy as they expected. i think people expected more of a miku or vocaloid style concert, with more interactions between the characters and the audience than this concert had

the star rail live concert seems to lean slightly more in the direction of the chinese new year spring festival night show that happens yearly, which may not be a style that everyone enjoys, but that's ok

personally i thought it was great, and was a more pure music experience typical of a more traditional concert, with cool visuals thrown in alongside

[chxna-cheeseycake]

I feel like talking more about my Dante and Gene Swap AU but this time I will just mainly write out some quick hcs and shit because I don't feel like writing long paragraphs rn lmao. Anyways, enjoy my silly thoughts under the cut!

-Gene's hair is pretty long because he was technically homeless for awhile and didn't have much money so he didn't really have the means to cut it. Same thing goes for the stumble on his face.

-He actually starts liking his long hair though so it's chill with him. Most of the time he just throws it in a low ponytail and calls it a day.

-But Aphmau, Nana and/or Cadenza insist on styling from time to time so he just lets them have their fun. Gene does like the hairstyles they do for him so he appreciates it.

-Naoko (aka Nekoette) does the same thing for him post 15 year time skip which Gene finds really adorable and sweet <3

-Also I just want to make it clear that Gene will not be the father of Naoko and Dmitri cuz I just don't think it really fits with where I want to take this AU

-So Naoko's dad abandons her and Nana when Naoko was a baby while Dmitri's dad actually does die before he was born.

-However, Gene does act like a father figure to the both of them and even helps Nana co-parent Naoko after Naoko's father leaves. Gene and Nana remain as friends though and that's it. No romance here peeps sorry not sorry.

-Gene and Nicole are also just friends but they're friendship gets ruined after they get into a heated argument regarding Nicole leaving for Scaleswind. It'll take a long while for them to resolve this issue of theirs and reconcile.

-During the 15 year time skip when people started coming back to Phoenix Drop to rebuild the village, Gene is very hesitant to take the role of head guard even though the other villagers want him too.

-To be fair the last time he was head guard of a village things didn't go so well...

-So yeah, Gene has a good reason to not really want to take the position of head guard. But he then he starts thinking about how the people of Phoenix Drop need someone to protect them. How Levin, who will soon become a lord, will need a head guard to serve and protect him by his side.

-Only then does Gene decide to take on the role of head guard because people need him and he wants to once and for all prove that he is once more worthy to be dubbed a head guard.

-It's a daunting task of course and past trauma keeps making Gene terrified that he'll mess up again and put his newfound family in great danger. He needs some reassurance that he's doing great at his job and eventually he does realize that he's good enough and makes an excellent head guard.

-Nana tells him that Dante would definitely be proud of the person Gene has become which makes him tear up but with like happy tears of course.

-This AU can be pretty much summed up as Gene getting a redemption arc (that's also written a bit better too cuz that redemption arc in Mystreet... def needs a little work is all I'm saying oof).

-But speaking of Dante, I finally figured out what I'm going to do with him in this AU!!

-I decided to just go all the way with the swapping and make him come back as a Shadow Knight. But since Shadow Knights don't age if they died (at least that's what I recall anyways) Dante here is still like 12 years old when he becomes one.

-Which is very fucking hilarious if you ask me because Dante will be Shad's right hand man like canon Gene so imagine being a Shadow Knight and having a middle schooler be your superior lmao.

-Sasha was absolutely floored by this when she woke up in the Nether as a freshly born Shadow Knight, learning that this literal child is the goddamn general of the Shadow Lord's army.

-Though she still respects him despite the wacky age difference between them lol.

-Also Big Sis Sasha moments because she knows in her heart that this kid definitely went through some shit if he ended up as a Shadow Knight. So even if Dante recoils at the thought of vulnerability, Sasha treats him like a little brother at times and gives him some comfort here and there when it's clear that the kid is especially stressed out.

-Sasha often wonders why Shad decided to turn a whole child into a Shadow Knight in the first place. And a part of her, the old her buried deep within, finds this whole thing disgusting but it's hard to notice with how buried said feeling is.

-Now why did Shad bring Dante back as a Shadow Knight even though he was just a little guy? Obviously because he was in a silly goofy mood duh.

-Nah but seriously, the reason why he did that was because he saw some sort of potential in Dante's restless spirit. He thought that the boy would be naive and therefore easy to manipulate. All he had to do was change up some of the kid's memories and he would have an excellent soldier by his side.

-So Shad messed with Dante's memories and made the kid believe that his older brother purposefully murdered him and had no remorse in doing so. This greatly upset Dante and so Shad took this as his chance to encourage Dante to get revenge on Gene and convinced the kiddo that he could do that by becoming a great and powerful Shadow Knight.

-Dante agreed as he felt such intense hatred towards Gene now and would do whatever it takes to enact vengeance against his big bro. Eventually, Dante became such a good Shadow Knight that Shad made the little dude the general of his army. He also saw Dante as his son so Dante highkey gets special privileges that other Shadow Knights don't.

-Those special privileges turned Dante into a spoiled brat so if people don't listen to him or if things don't go his way, he gets very fucking pissed which is def not good as he is no ordinary bratty kid. We're talking about a kid with Shadow Knight abilities that allow him to slaughter several people in the matter of seconds if he so chooses. He's general for a reason so it's best to keep him happy or else you'll certainly be dealing with a ticking time bomb.

-Would it be correct for me to say that Dante is a demon hellspawn child because that's pretty much what he is.

-And then there's Gene who's a sad, angsty and disheveled heap of a man which makes this AU almost perfect in my eyes lol.

-I don't remember if this is 100% canon or not but I think Shadow Knights can shapeshift to some extent because I remember Zenix doing something like that in S1. But anyways, I bring this up because Dante absolutely uses this power of his to make himself at least a little taller cuz dying at 12 meant that he never got to have any growth spurt so he died short (big L moment lmao).

-He does this mostly because he hates being so short but it's also because he wants to make himself look a bit older as there have been quite the few instances of newbie Shadow Knights not treating him with respect because of his age.

-For reference, Dante was like 5'1-5'2 when he died but he uses his shapeshifting abilities to make himself appear closer to 5'5 most of the time but sometimes he'll get lazy and some other Shadow Knights will be a little confused on why their general shrunk out of nowhere.

-But even with the shapeshifting, it's still easy for others to tell that Dante is a child simply because of the way he acts at times. No amount of shapeshifting can hide that after all lmao.

-Now here's an angsty thought for y'all, Laurance knew about Dante being a Shadow Knight before meeting Gene but obviously didn't know that Dante was Gene's brother. However, once Laurance found out about Gene's whole backstory he decides not to tell Gene about Dante being a Shadow Knight as he wants to spare Gene the grief.

-Laurance does tell Aphmau and Garroth about it who also decide that it would be in Gene's best interest if he didn't know about the whole Dante thing. They think that Gene finding out about it would ruin any healing he has done but they're also afraid how Gene would react to just hearing that info.

-But Gene eventually does find out about his little brother being a Shadow Knight after the 15 year time skip when Sasha gets taken into Phoenix Drop's prison. Sasha first taunts Laurance and Aphmau for hiding such information from Gene and warns them that it's only a matter of time before he finds out.

-And when Gene heads over to the prison to check up on Sasha, that's when the truth comes out. She outright tells Gene that there's something that his friends have been hiding from him and explains what that something is. Gene is baffled and doesn't want to believe it so he confronts Aphmau and Laurance about what Sasha told him.

-Aphmau and Laurance aren't too happy about Sasha exposing them like that but they also expected that this was something she might do after she gave them that warning. So yeah they confirm that what Sasha said about Dante was true which really upsets Gene.

-But like can you blame the man? Technically speaking, they've been hiding this information from him for 15 years which is a long time to be hiding the fact that his younger brother was back and now a Shadow Knight bent on revenge.

-Gene wouldn't want to talk to Aph and Laurance for a bit but in the meantime Nana is there to comfort him because learning such news was definitely not easy for Gene.

-Laurance and Aphmau understand that Gene needs some time to process all this so they respect his wishes and leave him be until he's ready to talk to them again.

-And they do!! It doesn't take Gene all too long to talk things out with Aph and Laurance so they're chill now.

-Gene also can understand why they didn't want to tell him about Dante as that news was pretty hard for Gene to grasp after all.

-Gene needs a really big hug because man am I putting him through the wringer right now oof.

-While Vylad didn't have many interactions with Dante in the Nether, I still imagine that Vylad knew enough about Dante to pity the kid. He knew that there was no way that Dante was always like this. He always assumed that Shad did something that turned Dante into this heartless Shadow Knight general.

-Laurance felt the same way and would actually try to get through to Dante during his initial time in the Nether but it was no use. Dante didn't listen to him one bit and still seemed ever so dedicated to the Shadow Lord.

-And then there's Zenix who would gladly punt Dante off the nearest cliff if he could. He absolutely hates Dante for the sole fact that a 12 year old boy is somehow more worthy of being general of the Shadow Lord's army over him. Zenix is very bitter and thinks Shad has lost his goddamn mind for choosing a damn kid to be his right hand man.

-Dante also hates Zenix as he doesn't like that the other is getting in the way of all of his plans. And as mentioned before, Dante can and will throw a massive (and dangerous) fit if things don't go his way. Also it's absolutely canon to the AU that Dante has at one point kicked Zenix in the balls while in the middle of an argument. It was very unprompted and out of the blue so poor Zenix never saw it coming until it happened.

-Queue Shad watching this happen and lowkey trying to resist the urge to not laugh hysterically (spoiler alert: he's doing very bad at that).

-Also canon to the AU is Shad being a proud father of his gremlin Shadow Knight son that bites people without hesitation and whose favorite hobby is committing arson.

Okay so I don't have any other ideas right now so take this stupid ass meme I made in like 10 seconds. This AU is very fun for me to write about so this def won't be the last post I make about it!

[sunset-peril]

So Why Did Mipha Make the Zora Armor?

DISCLAIMER - This post/lore document is extremely specific to the Hyrule's Final Stand AU and its lore. This is how I've chosen to structure and answer this question after 4 years of contemplating, researching, and playing both Breath of the Wild and Age of Calamity.

Also don't anyone dare try to apply my explanation for ship war purposes. ZeLink may be canon to Hyrule's Final Stand, but I will not tolerate my lore being used to attack people shipping either. Henceforce, neither ship will be tagged. If Tumblr throws this into those tags anyways, oh wells. Behave yourselves

Warnings - Dubious age of consent, age of consent under 18, arranged marriage/marriage of convenience (really more "engagement of desperation" than M o C), genetically modified humans, mentions to incest/inbreeding (both potential and actual), mentions to mating/breeding seasons, miscarriage/stillbirth, brief reproductive physiology (not graphic)

Acknowledgements - I do not condone, encourage or otherwise believe that the above warnings are ethical, moral, or otherwise acceptable. This is very much a Lesser of Many Evils scenario where everyone leaves burned. Inclusion ≠ Condonement

Also I listened to this on complete loop for the past like 4 hours while I wrote a good chunk of this + made the final edits, so have fun with that if you want. no I don't like what it's from and I don't want to associate with the source, but the fact remains that I have listened to it for five hours straight as I write this don't @ me

~~~~ Cut Here For Better Scrolling ~~~~

Obviously, applying hindsight to the series, we know Link marries Zelda and has a daughter with her. So why did Mipha, a dear friend to Link and Zelda both, create such an item for Link? Shouldn't she have known about their relationship?

The answer is complex, kind of ugly, and showcases both Mipha/the Zoras understanding of the Wolfbred/their plight and Mipha's care for Link.

The reason Mipha made Link the Zora Armor even without being in an established courtship/engagement with him was directly related to Link's place in the Wolfbred society and the Wolfbred at the time.

This is inclusive of several reasons

1. The fact that Wolfbred don't require any sort of dating relationship before marriage/matehood like other tribes do. 2. They tend to select their life partners from the pool of people they were raised around. And Mipha knew this because the Zora and Wolfbred were close allies, with a community of them living in Goponga. 3. Wolfbred males are not biologically compatible with Zora females due to the sheer difference of their reproductive systems (primarily that, without being too graphic, the Wolfbred reproduce through pregnancy and the Zora by egg laying) and the Wolfbred's literal genetic modification (which of course affects how they reproduce in general) locking them to only be viable to other Hylian-based races like the Sheikah, Gerudo and of course, Hylians. Furthermore, intercourse is important to Wolfbred health; especially to the males (who the tribe believe can actually die if they fail to 'bond' when kept in female company) 4. The Wolfbred's genetic modification altered their perception of Non-Hylian Tribes (mentioned henceforth as NHT), either preventing or severely impairing their ability to perceive the NHTs on the same level of "humanness" as HTs. This physically prevents them from developing romantic/sensual attraction to members of a NHT. Realistically, there are likely exceptions, but that is not the standard. 5. Despite points 3 and 4, Link was in a desperate place for a mate, and the Tribe was just as desperate for him, so Mipha decided that (due to points 1 and 2) she'd decide to shoot her shot.

After all, the Wolfbred tend to select mates from their childhood friends/acquaintances.

But what drove their desperation? What make a Zora female an appealing mate to a Wolfbred male?

The Wolfbred Tribe was experiencing a reproductive crisis in that era known as the Pup Drought. Not only were Wolfbred fertility levels incredibly low, but the vast majority of pups that were conceived were either miscarried or stillborn. This led to only 3 live pups in thirty years: Pryze (25, male), Link (15, male & Sydnei's brother) and Sydnei (6, female & Link's sister). Had Link been born female, the exiled tribe could have easily paired Link and Pryze together and been… not great but at least not in the desperation they were in. To further stress matters, the tribe's last unbonded female was a sibling to the tribe's preferred male, and depending on when she hit puberty, Pryze might be too old or even dead as Wolfbred typically live only to around 30-35 due to their health problems. (More about why Pryze wasn't an option later)

And one very particular about Wolfbred is their innate desire for their "queen", which in Divine Beast Construction times literally meant the Queen of Hyrule, but in modern times simply meant the Wolfbred's wife (if male) or pups (if female). And males especially, if they spend too long unbonded, can experience (primarily) physical but also mental problems. Especially if they're stuck in female presence. They're designed specifically to serve that queen, and her absence causes problems. And Link was getting to that point with his (at this point in time) 2, going on 3, unbonded mating seasons and his job as Zelda's personal knight. At that point, he had absolutely no viable options, other than his sister. Poor Ordon (Link's dad) was driven to deliver a we're-too-desperate-to-bother-saving-face "help my son get a wife" message to each of the Champions when he encountered them. Link was 15 and had seasoned twice. It was not known at that point if a Wolfbred could make it through more than two unbonded seasons, as the effects of each 'failure' tend to compound, and Link was clearly miserable. While 10-years-older Pryze should have been more of a focus for the tribe than Link, the 25-year-old's complete failure to season or suffer any ill effects led the tribe to conclude he was sterile, which focuses the tribe's attention even further onto Link and Sydnei. Although the lack of female presence in Pryze's life, poor diet, or other circumstances may have also prevented such, in hindsight.

So Mipha made her move. By outright proposing to 15-year-old Link? No, absolutely not.

Instead she proposed herself to the tribe as a whole, as a substitution to his contingent engagement to his sister.

This worked as follows - 1. when Sydnei was born, he was automatically engaged to her due to him being the most preferable available male from the tribe (only because there were only 2 males and 1 female left, and Pryze was well… Pryze) 2. When Link was 15, Mipha approached Ordon (had Midna Marie still been alive, she would have been approached too) and presented herself as a potential swap for Sydnei and provided her reasons for offering such ("I'm not his sister" and the benefit that becoming Zora royalty would do for the safety of the tribe despite the reproductive barrier being two major reasons, on top of her care and affection for him) 3. Ordon was impressed, but had one problem. Link had already hit his first season, which made him an adult Wolfbred two years before at 13. This meant that Mipha would have to convince Link to swap his contingent bride, not Ordon 4. As much as Link wasn't really interested, he was convinced to change his contingent bride to Mipha after her and Ordon were able to convince Link that he was worth more than accepting the first Gerudo/Hylian who thought he was interesting-looking. And besides, what are you going to do? Say you'd rather marry your sister just because she's more sexually compatible? 5. Mipha and Link went before the Elder Circle of Hateno so Link could plead the Circle, and they accepted the swap 6. Despite that Link wasn't 100% content with this new arrangement, this took off the extreme strain placed on him of having to marry his sister should he fail to secure a preferable bride. Besides, he was still entirely within his rights to search for a more preferable mate, this agreement just changed who he'd marry if he wasn't able to find anyone else

Because of the contingent engagement, Mipha had extreme probable cause to believe Link would eventually become her husband. She was even legally permitted to officially propose before Sydnei reached "adulthood", but Link could turn her down as long as his sister was still a pup and they'd still be contingently engaged. Once she hit her first season, they would be officially engaged even if Mipha didn't officially propose again, or if Link had turned down an official proposal earlier; so long as Link hadn't married/mated to a more preferable female for the tribe (read: a Hylian/Gerudo/Sheikah woman).

Hence why she made the Zora Armor. Link was getting older, and while he and Zelda had been flirting and seemingly interested in each other, there was no clear indication that a) they'd even be able to marry due to Hyrule's laws and views towards the Wolfbred b) would be able to marry in time to preempt the contingency and c) were even looking towards a potential marriage between them.

It was a very new and volatile situation that was even less likely that the agreement Link and Mipha had entered. In fact, later on Zelda would even ask Mipha if she'd permit Zelda to propose to Link. The ball was firmly in Mipha's court to decide, ultimately, if she'd let Zelda "threaten" her contingency. Mipha did choose to permit Zelda's proposal, wanting Link's well-being more than her desires, which led to Link and Zelda's marriage. But Mipha was given a lot of control over the situation. And that's how the Zora Armor, wholly intended for Link, is able to exist despite Link's love for Zelda. and why Muzu isn't incredibly fond of Link in BotW/later HFS material

~~~~

Hyrule's Final Stand Masterlist

[buttercuparry]

The version of Arya this fandom supposedly wants us to "accept", is the one who says: most girls are idiots. Who remains apathetic after carrying out an assassination- that is has no qualms about being an assassin and is happy to just quote sassy one liners and leave the ruling and politics to the supposedly more "proper" Stark.

While my previous post about the ferret queen was just that-me being petty and even the name calling that I am going to do in this post or that I have done previously is the pettiness talking, I would genuinely like to look at this more seriously.

I don't know if the idea that is being subscribed to, that is the idea that indeed the book will have a similar ending or rather the same ending as the show, is because the ferret got her crown: but regardless of that I want to know where exactly did the show and the book converge for them to have a "prediction" about Arya? Was it when the show actively tried to posit Arya as the troublemaker by making her throw food at a banquet? Or making her leave her needlework not because she was once again made to feel worthless by the septa but because she wanted to flex her supposed archery skills on her brother? (This aforementioned skill which has no basis in canon and appeared just so that Arya can sass back to Lem about hitting the target prefectly in the cock, tit and head and have a "sisterly bonding" moment with Ferret 🤢🤢).

Did the supposed prediction come from when perhaps the show, unlike the books saw Arya stabbing away at the table in her (very valid) anger at Joffrey? I seem to remember that in the books Arya felt miserable and all she wanted was to run back to winterfell or to the wall. Is this the 'running away' that is referenced to when the ferret stans have their oh-so-book-compliant meta discussion? Or do they, much like their fave, are impartial to only particular bits of narrative. They say that Arya just wants acceptance as she is and we don't do that. Lmao. The 'acceptance' they think Arya demands from the narrative is one where she is let to go stabby stab stab to her heart's content, be indifferent to any kind of romantic love, talk shit about women, and be a "lone wolf", that is fucking away to nowhere in search for "adventure". By the way I am sure in their mind, this adventure has less to do with any discovery of any kind and more to do with Arya ending up as a sellsword...you cannot convince me otherwise.

Funny thing though, when that ferret Stan said that Arya going on her little boat trip very much parallels our real world history in a certain way, especially when show!Arya turned a xenophobe- I wonder if they realize what it implies for their precious ferret queen?

Anyway back to the discussion at hand. Since the ferret Stans are so canon oriented, do they think this prediction they had for Arya comes from the choice of the name of the direwolf? As in Princess Nymeria sailing from Rhoynar and ending up on the coast of Dorne? Well...they must surely have the reading comprehension to relate that should this be a clue to Arya's future then the only way it comes into play is if Arya, the princess, much like Nymeria, the princess, sails away in search for a new home along with her people. And by people I mean not a handful of westerosis or northmen but more or less the whole of the north to escape some kind of apocalypse. Pretty sure this is not what they supposedly have talked about because then where would their ferret queen end up?In an empty hall :( with only ghosts at her command :( :(

I seem to remember another set of text lines but I am doubtful of them considering these lines. But since they have claimed to be connoisseur of canon, who am I, who as an Arya Stan have so little knowledge on canonical events to question them? Anyway when they said they predicted Arya's journey on the show by reading the books, were they by any chance talking about the lines where Arya got to know about Bran-Rickon's death. Where she said she wants to fly to Winterfell to see for herself if this is true and then fly away and never come back ( unless she wanted to), if her younger brothers truly are dead? I think...I am not sure but I think...I think they forgot to consider the "condition" Arya set herself. Should her brothers much like all other family members are lost to her, only then would she leave Winterfell. I mean it's pretty basic English, maybe this wasn't what was used to "predict" Arya's fate in the show. But umm...there weren't any of these in the show...how strange to use one piece of text to predict what's going to happen in media. Truly it is a talent gifted to few.

I mean show!Arya couldn't wait to go to HoBaW. And here we have book!Arya, telling Jaqen that she can't go with him. She has to look for her mother. To connect these to opposing journey and arriving at a prediction of Arya leaving Westeros is galaxy brained. I wonder if they learnt such deductions from their precious Ferret. Afterall she is a political genius without doing anything really so...🤷🏽

Since we are talking about canon that is the books, and relating it the show, umm...did they by any chance go over the boat scene where Arya tried to pay for the ship to take her to the Wall? I mean this obviously proves she doesn't want anything to do with family. Afterall she didn't even protest when the captain said they are bound to Bravos! Arya is so big and muscly afterall...she should have forced them to take her to the Wall!!

Oh and yeah magic doesn't matter. So all the tidbits where the old gods themselves are guiding her, reaffirming her identity and even sending her boons ( according to Arya) in Braavos is just...irrelevant. After all the critics and literature enthusiasts have minutely gone over the text! Their precious Ferret don't have much going on in that department so of course this means nothing. I mean these are irrelevant when it comes to building winterfell like snow castles ( which got destroyed but hey! That's besides the point). Truly how can we ever be as canonically knowledgeable as them.

[ricihh]

Not Yandere Au! Some thoughts

Well, this au literally contradicts the idea of the game (YANDERE simulator after all), but I like to ignore bits of canon and explore new paths, after all, who wouldn't want to see all these pretty girls (and boys) in a healthier state of mind? So it is. Anyway, what would it be like if the Aishi family wasn't cursed by the obligatory lineage of Yanderes? Or partially because Ryoba's mother may still be a Yandere, but since she forced made Ryoba's father fall in love with her, Ryoba ends up never knowing about her mother's past and all she gets from her is her advice on how she will find love someday.

— Now for the canon of 80s mode:

Sumire has several fates here: To live, to be murdered by someone else, or to be murdered by Ryoba—but for a different reason that doesn't have to be particularly romantic and that being the only murder she gets involved in the entire story.

In the first option, the journalist will never meet Ryoba, and Sumire would be able to confess to Jokichi. They could end up together.

In the second option (my favorite for this au), Sumire was murdered by someone else and so the investigations begin at the school. The journalist still suspects Ryoba for some strange behavior and her closeness to Sumire days before the crime occurs. Who would kill Sumire? Well, it could be something involving her private life or some serial killer of girls (which would explain the deaths of some rivals). I'm not sure which option, but I'm leaning more towards the second one.

Same initial path as in the Game. Journalist investigating the school and Ryoba, because he suspects her.

Ryoba would date Togo Atatsuma. In fact, this whole au is inspired by Ryogo. Without Jokichi in the way, Ryoba and Togo could get closer and start dating (their dynamic is amazing and I breathe them). She could be trying to get rid of the pursuit of the Journalist, so she would need some way to throw him off. Help from The Yakuza would be most welcome and that's when she contacts Togo and helps him with the gang task.

I'm not sure what Jokichi's fate would be? I don't know if I'd ship him with any specific rival (besides Sumire). Well, he's a gallant, he'll be fine. 🙏

Togo and Ryoba marry after finishing school and have two children (Ayano being the eldest kid).

— Now for the canon of 202X mode:

Info-chan? Well, I think she could still contact Ayano, but Ayano will refuse. She won't tell anyone about it (even though she found her proposal strange), and Info-chan would keep watching her from afar. Info-chan would try to somehow interfere with this peaceful choice.

However, with the information that Osana has feelings for senpai, Ayano gathers courage to Befriend her.

The headmaster is going to remain crazy, as in 80s Ryoba was a strong suspect in the crimes occurring at the school.

In this au senpai is a trans woman (Taeko Yamada) and Ayano actually dates her—just a personal headcanon, but it also works with Taro.

Of course, there is much more to consider such as Saikou Corp, Megami, and so on. This is just speculation so I can do healthy things with these characters (oops). I'll do headcanons for each of the characters I find relevant in separate posts, but here are some thoughts!

[jjs-other-other-blog]

I just left this as a short comment in someone's notes, but I'm making it its own post now. The Siren episode. Siren appears to Dean as a man. Explanation: Dean actually longs more for platonic connections than sexual/romantic ones. Also, the male form throws the boys and viewers off track, so it takes longer to solve the case for all of us.

But: Wouldn't it have been even more convincing had the siren remained female? She would've been an obvious romantic/sexual partner for Dean, so by choosing her as a friend (even though sex was an option on the table) it would've been even clearer that at that moment Dean prefers a platonic friend.

By never flirting with Dean, just being a friend, maybe even turning Dean down, the female form still could've subverted the viewers expectation of the siren's behaviour. They could've chosen a conventionally less attractive actress, too, if they'd wanted to make sure our minds don't go there. Maybe throw in an additional red herring.

We also know that the fans who believe Dean to be queer have been around since the beginning of the show. Giving them/us something like this, even if there's another canonical explanation, just incited more debate. Did they just not think that far or was it maybe even intentional (last great American queerbait etc)?

Anyway, just some thoughts I had.

[meanlesbean]

Chapter commentary

are people interested in seeing my chapter commentary for Cadence of a Legacy? idk. I'm posting it anyway. voila.

Chapter 1 notes are longer than the others because I included more detail about the planning of the fic. Anyway, here there be: musings on family and brotherhood and how it shows up in linked universe fanworks, Hyrule as an arsonist, Wild's economy, and more info about card games than anyone else probably cares about. minor totk spoilers about one sidequest but nothing plot related (if you need, skip the bullet that starts "pre-totk release".) Here we go:

Chapter 1 - The Woods Between

I am not joking about having a phone note that says “making peace with your inner child when your inner child has physically manifested and wants to cause problems on purpose”. I would include a screenshot of said note, but then you would all see how long I have been toying with this idea and that’s too embarrassing

IMO, there is an astounding lack of fic focusing on the relationship between Time and Twilight even though they are the only ones who interact in game canon. And I’ve read every good Time-centric fic probably a dozen times. So unfortunately that meant I had to go write my own. Unfortunately the plot that I came up with doesn’t work with Time (or Mask) as the POV character, so it evolved into a Twilight-centric fic as well. 

The bones of this chapter were mostly written in a notebook last year at my terrible job when I had a desk in the corner and nothing to do 85% of the time. Large parts of the set up of the chapter remain the same from this draft, with even a select few of the lines staying the same word for word. But the handwritten version, which covered all of Chapter 1 and parts of Chapter 2, was only about 7 pages front and back (rip to the 11k monster it became)

Literally I never would have posted this fic if I hadn’t read the the FMA fic series demon alchemist and realized that the reason I hated my draft so much was because the narrative voice was too impersonal

So I started working on this fic again last fall with a lot more attention paid to establishing a clear voice, and I finally started making solid progress, to the point where I made it a goal to share it on AO3, which I have not done in a long long time

Hyrule’s missing fingers are a reference to the demon alchemist series btw. I do imagine he lost them from an enemy’s throwing ax or mace. Twilight complaining about the number of enemies with throwing weapons is also me complaining about how hard Zelda II is. fucking Dairas. 

Other fic inspiration includes: Call Them Brothers, for getting me thinking about situations in which Warriors doesn’t know that Time is the kid he fought with in the war, and more generally, Sinnatious’ LU and LOZ fics for inspiration on Time’s voice. 

I cannot tell you how much time I spent rewriting and reworking the first half of the chapter. Honestly writing that first part was just like. Agonizing. Nothing was working for so long. Every time I tried fixing a problem, I created two more. I was very close to cutting out the scene of Twilight scouting and the camp shenanigans and skipping to Twilight meeting Mask, but then it felt like everything went way too quick. I was very relieved when people liked the wrestling scenes because that whole section had me tearing my hair out. The things that kept me going were spite and also how desperate I’ve been to get back into writing. Literally that one defunctland tweet. 

In contrast, the second half of the chapter (everything from the Epona grooming scene on) came so easy. All of the latter stuff was written and edited within like 2 weeks. My favorite scene from this chapter actually ended up being that part with Twilight and Time taking care of Epona. 

More specific notes:

My take on Twilight’s aversion/distrust of magic is that he has a really strong sense for it, but he doesn’t have much of a knowledge base of how magic works. So this results in Twilight frequently getting a lot of information that he can’t make sense of, and it really fucking freaks him out. 

I know fandom likes to characterize Wild as the group arsonist, but I think Hyrule would be just as big if not a bigger arsonist, which was why I had him be the one to suggest using fire. If you want to uncover all the hidden items/heart pieces in the OG Zelda without a guide or walkthrough, you have to burn so many trees. Like, if you are ever stuck in that game and don’t know where to go next, 70% of the time your solution is either bombs or fire. 

I played ten thousand rounds of “should their titles (ie. rancher, captain, etc) be lowercase or capitalized?” while writing this. I know people usually have them call each other their fandom names, but tbh that always throws me off just a little, even though I 100% get why people do it because good lord it would be easier.

I feel like a lot of LU works (speaking generally about the fandom output as a whole, not about any particular fic) leans heavily into the emotional support and comradery aspect of the chain as family, and does not include nearly enough of like. annoying each other on purpose and play violence and rubbing each others’ faces in the dirt. which is a big reason for why I kept the wrestling scene.

Maybe it’s because me and my family members were little demons but like. I have brothers and mostly boy cousins, and a solid 60% of our time as kids/teens was spent playing some variation of King of the Rock. I appreciate the found family softness, and there will definitely be a lot of that in this fic, but my experience with siblinghood includes a lot of chasing each other around with wiffle ball bats and trying to strangle each other. The Links are brothers! and sometimes that means that you will try to ruin your brother’s whole day just because you are mildly bored. 

Warriors and the teens are playing Rummy. I imagine that the group plays a lot of card games, and since I grew up playing tons of cards, I have put way too much thought into all of this. Other popular games among the group (depending on how many people they have) probably include Texas (Ordon?) hold em, whist, knockout, BS, gin rummy, and hearts. Hearts can get contentious with them though because you can engage in coordinated sabotage. Four and Legend are not allowed to be partners in Whist because they’re the only ones who can count all the cards in play. There is a near-unanimous group ban on Spoons because it got too violent.  

Legend having heterochromia is inspired by an Oracles manga panel redraw someone posted on here years ago that I cannot for the life of me find again

I have this headcanon that Wild, in comparison to the rest of the gang, is absurdly rich but does not really realize it because he just does not have a ton of shit to actually spend money on. This is based on the ridiculous amount of rupees/gems I have on my 100% botw file and also my own musings on the state of Hyrule’s economy post-calamity. Mostly I think that post-calamity Hyrule does not have super discrete classes like most other Hyrules do, and that a luxury economy does not really exist. 

Pre-totk release I actually thought: okay, Wild has a lot of money, but his luxury purchases are limited to like fancy armor, which is directly related to doing his job as the hero. It’s not like most other eras where you can go build wealth by buying up a ton of land. And then totk came around and let you go buy a sizable swatch of land. I still think my original idea mostly holds true, if only because the monster-free areas of Hyrule where someone could safely make a land claim still seem to be pretty limited (even the totk house has monster camps right across the road from it). 

Mask is not dressed in the green tunic for two main reasons, one of which I’ll keep to myself because it felt way too spoilery when I wrote it down. Most importantly, it shows that time has passed since Majora’s Mask. In fact, in chapter 3 we'll learn that it's been just about a year since then. The Kokiri tunic is no more because he grew out of it :( 

I didn’t find this reference until after publishing, but I imagine he’s dressed more or less like this. Except he has his green cap and a leather belt, baldric, and boots.