#he'd try to fix his friends. and when that doesnt work? then what?

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

me: i have no interest in making a WH au at present

brain: ok but what if when the show stopped, everyone but Wally & Home were disassembled and Wally himself was locked up in the dark studio - permanently. and for years its just him awake in the dark with only unrotting corpses & Home's creaks for company.

me: ....keep talking

[fmhobeus]

so, nerdy loser college boy choso *sighs* *opens legs*

a/n: just so you know, this man is gonna make you do all the hard work for a piece of that loser boy dick 😮‍💨 so... um so at some point around 2000 words in i realised this is way more than a hc post :3 eat it up if you will!

nerdy!choso who borderline has no friends except his gaming buddies who doesnt meet irl like ever. he doesnt like going to classes, especially this one. he doesnt need it but it's a requirement for all first years. and boy is glad it is when he sees you come in.

nerdy!choso who only listens to discussions when you're talking. suddenly he needs to put down his headphones and nod at every word you're saying. his eyes follow every gesture of your hand, every sway of your ass, every single time you fix your hair.

nerdy!choso who is starting to get a bit enamored with you, your style, your way of speaking. he loses track of time gawking at you in class from the last benches as you prettily do all the work in the class. he hates how beautifully your hair falls on your face, how nicely your clothes fit you despite being pretty modest for college. he hates how he can see the silhouette of your tits when you turn to the side. but he's too much of a gentleman to keep looking.

nerdy!choso who ends a game early when he remembers you, lying and saying that he had promised someone to meet them somewhere. the place is his bathroom and the person was you. god, you really shouldn't wear those tight jeans to class y'know? how will he continue to be a gentleman if you do?

nerdy!choso who despises groupwork but prays to dear god this class has some reason to pair you two together. he's getting so desperate to talk to you knowing damn well he too pussy to do it on his own. and the lord answers his prayers, the teacher assigns groups of three for a presentation. it's you, him and some slacking trust fund baby.

nerdy!choso who is about to combust and have a full blown panic attack when he sees you approach him after class with that smile on your face that would make the angels swoon. you're going on about distributing the work equally and what not while he is trying his fucking hardest to not accidently make eye contact with you and piss his pants : (

nerdy!choso who now has your name, your number and your email and he feels like the happiest man on earth. his hands are literally shaking as he responds to your request to call. he's overthinking every word he types.

choso: yeah i can do wednesday. choso: i'll be okay with whatever day you want.

nerdy!choso who hops on video call and short circuits with a view of you in an oversized band tee and a brief view of your room. why did you have to be this pretty? why did you have to video call him when you couldve done the work on text? why did you have to put your hair up like that? why oh why did you have you say "choso? hey, you there?" so seductively to bring him back to the present?

nerdy!choso who gets like no work done in a 30 minute call which felt like three hours. he knew he would hardly be paying attention so decided to record the call with your consent, saying he'd need the notes you were typing out on screen only to play it back and stroke his dick to you for what might've have been the twentieth time this week. his strokes only getting faster as you say his name in that voice he imagines sounds way better moaning and screaming it instead.

nerdy!choso who, after the presentation, is on greeting terms with you when he sees you studying in the library. he sits as far away from you as he can while still being able to see you. occupying the coziest corner of the library to stare at you study right when you come up to him.

"can i join you, choso? i'm all alone and your space seems comfy" you say with a smile, "of course, i dont mean to disturb you, is saw you were on your own too, so..."

uh oh, uh oh, uh oh. god no. please no. please dont say yes. please dont be staring at her like some dumb idiot (too late) please.

"uh... yeah sure why not?" he awkwardly says as he makes room for you to keep your things. he was such an idiot for thinking he could say no to your pretty face in the first place.

nerdy!choso who is absolutely drunk on your scent. it feels way better than any alcohol he's ever had. he feels like an animal in heat when he smells your sugary perfume mixed with the styrofoam-y air conditioned smell of the library. you're gonna kill him, yknow? how is he supposed to respond to this? what is one to do when their stupid college crush sits next to them? he gives you a half smile before furiously typing away on reddit, the only place with answers for losers like him.

nerdy!choso whose hands. oh his hands. (can be i a big whore for a second?) his long hands that feel like they're the size of your face. his kempt, beautiful and trimmed nails. his lengthy fingers that seem to yearn for something more to foddle with than just the keyboard or controller. he typed as such an insane pace it made your pussy ache. he was going so fast, jesus. those hands were meant to do more than just ask "how to talk to girls" on reddit.

nerdy!choso who (on the advice of reddit) asks if you would want him to order something for you. you tell you had a frappuccino not too long ago and that it was quite sweet and filling. and he hates himself for thinking that he could give you something much sweeter and filling than that like a horny fourteen year old.

nerdy!choso who is now determined to not come off as a creep so he does his work with the focus of four adderalls. he is typing as fast as his heartbeat, not realising he got two classes worth of work done in just an hour. he looks over at you, blissfully unaware of the absolute war in his mind.

nerdy!choso who feels as though if he doesn't muster up the courage to ask you out right then and there, he'll probably be the biggest loser on the planet. (as if he wasn't already)

nerdy! pathetic! choso who stutters a million times and barely gets the job done then too. his eyes are scanning your entire being (trying his best to not gawk at your tits) for any sign of discomfort.

"so- uhh so ummm... wo-would you, like, uh... like to do this again? sometime?... i got a.. a lot of work done today, so.."

oh heavens, the sheer nervousness in his tone makes you want to pull his pants down and show him how to really get work done.

you agree with a smile, even suggesting a better, more ambient (more romantic) cafe to study in. choso's heart is about to burst and flood the fucking library with his blood the way it is beating at an alarming rate.

"umm yeah uh 5 sounds... awesome... i hope it isn't a-a bother to you?" "no way, choso. i loved today," you offer him a smile as you gather your things, "i really like your hair, by the way" "i like your hair too, y-y-you smell very nice", he gulps.

fuck. why did he say that? what? you smell nice? who says that? is he like ten? you can't help but giggle at the sheer embarassment on his face.

he feels as though he's gonna melt into a puddle and turn to stone and throw up all at the same time.

nerdy!choso who is the most stupidly hot guy you've ever met, you think as you go giggling back to your dorm. mental note: pick a skimpy outfit for 5pm ;)

[george-weasleys-girl]

hiii<3 would you mind writing a george x best friend reader where she is just like so in love with him but she knows he'll never feel the same way and she doesnt want to ruin the friendship so she starts trying to distance herself from him which makes him mad because doesnt understand why she is pulling away but like one night she over hears him and his friends talking about another girl and reader gets upset and like runs out of the room and george gets really worried about her and he follows her and he like finds her crying and she like angry at him and angry at herself for waiting to long to say anything and like during the argument it gets out that reader is in love with him and as it turns out george is in love with her too and they like have a really cute kiss

Thank you for such a lovely request.💕 I got a little carried away, and it turned out quite a bit longer than expected.

~•~

George worried that he'd said or did something wrong. His best friend had barely spoken to him in three weeks. At first, he wrote it off to her being busy with a big group project in Herbology. Similar things had happened before, and as soon as the assignment was finished, she'd be right back by his side. But that didn't happen this time. It'd been a week since things had wrapped up, and she still kept her distance. So, when he spotted her walking alone, he jumped on the opportunity to talk to her.

"Hey, Y/N!" George raced toward her, trying to act like everything was normal. "Me, Fred and Lee are going down to the Black Lake to work on some inventions, and I'd love your input." He reached to throw his arm around her shoulders as he always did, but she pulled away, causing a confused look to cross George's face.

"No. I-uh‐-I don't feel like it right now," she responded, starting to turn away.

His confusion immediately shifted to concern.

"Are you feeling ok, love? Is one of your migraines coming on?" He asked. She did look a little pale.

"No, no. I'm just I'm really tired. I didn't sleep well last night," she said.

"Oh, well, if that's all it is, I'll grab a blanket, and you can just doze in the sun if you want. I know how much you love doing that." George grinned, stepping toward her again.

But again, she pulled away. "I said, no!" Y/N snapped.

George froze. "Wh-what's wrong?"

"Nothing. Everything's fine," she mumbled, looking away.

"I don't believe that, Y/N. You're my best friend, and I know when something's wrong. Just tell me what's going on and maybe I can help." George replied. "You used to talk to me. Tell me things. Now, you barely acknowledge my existence. Have I done something? If I have, please just tell me so I can fix it."

Y/N couldn't bring herself to look him in the eyes. It was torture enough to hear the hurt in his voice. She shook her head, swallowing the massive lump in her throat. "I just need to relax for a bit, and I can't do that with you three yammering non-stop."

"Oh. Right. Ok." George shuffled his feet, his eyes darting down for a moment, then back to her. She still wouldn't look at him. Why wouldn't she look at him? "Well, we could go back to my dorm room instead," he offered. "Maybe put on some music and just hang out, yeah? Like we used to do. You don't have to talk if you're not up for it. You can just nap or whatever."

Y/N's tears threatened to spill over. She couldn't let him see her cry, so she yelled instead. "No, George! Don't you get it?! I want to be alone! Just me by myself, without you!"

He flinched and took a step back. "I--Y/N," he began, but she cut him off.

"Look, George, I'm sorry," she rasped. "But I just need to be alone right now." And with that, she turned and sprinted down the hall before he could say another word.

~•~

Y/N fell across her bed, no longer able to hold back the flood. She'd stupidly let herself fall in love with her best friend, and it was killing her every day being around him, knowing that he would never love her in the same way she loved him. Knowing that, eventually, some other girl would catch his eye, and Y/N wasn't sure she could pretend to be happy for him.

But neither could she couldn't bring herself to walk away from their friendship. Just the thought of losing George as a friend sent ripples of agony through her. The whole, damned situation was ripping her apart. That's why she'd tried to distance herself, just for a little while, hoping it would cool her feelings for him, but it didn’t. It only made them stronger.

And now, she'd done the very things she'd tried so hard to avoid. She'd hurt George and perhaps damaged their friendship in the process. 'Godric, I'm such a fucking idiot. Maybe this is what I deserve. Maybe I deserve to lose George.'

~•~

George barely slept that night, the aching emptiness of his broken heart eating him alive. For the life of him, he couldn't figure out how things had gone so horribly wrong. The only answer he could come up with was that Y/N had suddenly decided she hated him.

The deeper that thought dug into his brain, the more his heartbreak turned into anger. 'How could she do this? How could she just throw away five years of friendship like it was nothing? Was it nothing to her? Was I just a friend of convenience until someone better came along?' Hot, angry tears streamed down his cheeks as he realized the girl he loved more than anything in the world didn't give a shit about him. 'Fine. If she can hate me so much, then I can hate her right back.'

~•~

After a restless night of fitful dreams, Y/N entered the Great Hall determined to apologize to George and try to salvage what she could of their friendship. She made her way to his usual spot, where he was chatting with Fred and Lee, to find one glaring change. Her spot next to George was occupied by a second year who was obsessed with the notorious pranksters.

"Hey, George," she greeted.

No response.

"George," she said a little louder.

Still nothing.

Reaching out, she placed her hand on his shoulder. He whirled around, shaking it off. The look in his eyes made her take a step back. "What?" He demanded.

"I was, uh, just wondering if you, um, had a minute to talk." Y/N stammered.

"No, I actually don't have time to talk to you," he snapped.

He may as well have driven a knife through her heart. "Oh. Um. Maybe later, then?"

"I don't know. I'm really busy today, and I don't have time for mindless yammering," he said, twisting the knife deeper.

"Oh, uh, ok. If you have some free time later, you know where to find me."

"Yeah, whatever," he mumbled before turning his back to her.

Y/N wiped at the tears she couldn't hold back, then turned and fled the Great Hall.

George dared a glance in her direction, his eyes blurring over as she disappeared out the door.

~•~

Two weeks had passed since the incident in the Great Hall. Y/N had tried in vain to talk to George a couple more times but eventually resigned herself to defeat. Heartbroken and depressed she withdrew into herself, only coming out of her room for classes and meals.

"We never see you anymore," Hermione coaxed.

"Yeah, we miss you," Ginny added. "Just come down to the common room for a little while."

"I don't know," Y/N sighed. "It's just really hard seeing George right now."

"George is an idiot," Ginny said. "But he'll come around, just give him time."

Y/N shrugged. "Maybe."

"He wasn't even out there when we came up," Hermione informed her. "He and Fred are cooking up some new invention. They barely come out of their room anymore."

Y/N pursed her lips, looking from Ginny to Hermione and back again. "Ok, just for a little while."

~•~

George almost turned back around when he saw Y/N sitting by the fire. It had taken Fred the better part of an hour to convince him to emerge from his self-induced isolation. Despite his tough guy exterior, George was barely holding himself together. Every time he saw her, he died a little inside, knowing that she was lost to him forever.

Fred knew without even looking at his twin that George was ready to bolt. "Nope, mate. You’re not running away again. You've got to learn to co-exist with her." With a heavy sigh, the younger twin nodded and followed his brother out into the crowded common room, flopping down on the floor a few feet away from his former best friend.

Who, by the way, would not see him upset.

So he proceeded to talk and laugh loudly, to let Y/N know that he wasn't hurting at all. Life was great, thank you very much. Then, when the conversation switched to girls, he got even louder. "OH MY GOD SHE IS SO FUCKING HOT! I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT ASKING HER OUT FOR MONTHS."

George turned his head just a hair, unable to resist a quick look at Y/N's expression. But instead of gaining a moment of smug satisfaction, remorse punched him square in the gut. Two weeks of anger and petty spite melted away the instant he hears a sob. It was a sob he knew very well. Followed by Y/N racing past him and out the door, tears pouring down her face.

Without a second thought, he's running after her, calling her name.

Y/N didn't stop, instead running even faster, trying to put as much distance between herself and George. But, she should've known better. His legs were twice as long as hers, and it wasn't long before she felt his hand on her shoulder.

"Please stop, Y/N." George was scarcely out of breath while Y/N struggled to find hers.

When she didn't shrug his hand away, he moved to stand in front of her. "Look at me, please," he said softly. Y/N lifted her head, her eyes bloodshot, and her sad face was red and wet with tears. George wanted to pull her into his arms and tell her everything would be alright, but he knew she'd just push him away again.

"Talk to me," he began. "Why do you suddenly hate me?"

Y/N sniffled and wiped her nose on her sleeve. "I don't hate you, George." Her voice was rough and raw from all the crying she'd done. "It's just..." she threw her hands in the air, a bitter laugh escaping her lips.

"What, Y/N? What is it? What have I done?"

"Nothing," she said, rolling her eyes. "Not a damned thing, and that's the problem."

George's eyebrows scrunched together. "I don't understand."

"No, of course you wouldn't!" Her voice began to rise with every word. "You just bounce around all day completely oblivious to anything going on around you! To anything going on with me!" By now, her shouts were echoing down the hall, attracting the attention of a few wandering students. "You wouldn't know love if it fell out of the sky and hit you in the face!"

George's eyes widened. Was she...? He took a step toward her. "Love?"

"Yes, love, you fucking dumbass! I love you! I love you so much I can't breathe sometimes!Alright? Happy now? You figured out the big secret!" She turned away from him, her voice dropping to a mumur. "Now you can go on with your merry, little life and forget we were ever friends."

George could've sworn he could hear his heartbeat echoing off the stone walls as he stepped closer to her. "Y/N, turn around."

She didn't budge.

"Please, love, turn around."

"Why?"

"So I can kiss you."

Y/N turned halfway. "What?"

"So I can kiss you. I would really like to kiss you right now."

"Don't fuck with me, George," she turned to look him full in the face. "Don't you dare fuck with me."

"I'm not," he took another tentative step toward her. "Do you know why I've been so angry at you?"

Y/N shook her head.

"Because I love you too, and I'd been working up the courage to tell you, but then you--started pushing me away." He took another step closer. "I thought you never really cared about me, that our friendship was all a lie. I was so heartbroken and furious with you."

He reached out and wiped away the lone tear trailing down her cheek. "I'm sorry, Y/N. I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry for being an oblivious idiot and a coward. I should've told you how I felt sooner. So I'm telling you now. I love you. I love you more than anyone or anything. You're the reason why I wake up smiling every morning and why I fall asleep with a smile every night and why I so desperately want to kiss you right here, right now."

Y/N stood stunned as she took in his confession. "Oh. Ok. That'd be nice," she said after a few moments.

George chuckled, leaning in, a little nervous and uncertain, his lips lingering over hers. "You're sure?" He asked, almost pulling away. "Uh huh," Y/N nodded her head slowly. A small smile graced her lips as they bridged the gap a little too quickly, bumping their noses in the process. A warm blush blossomed across their cheeks, and they giggled shyly before leaning back in for a second try. At first, it was a little stilted and awkard, but they very quickly found their rhythm as George slipped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer and deepening the kiss.

"Can we do this forever?" He asked once they'd pulled back.

"I think that can be arranged," Y/N grinned. "But let's find a comfier spot, first."

"You have the best ideas, my love." George leaned down for one more quick kiss. "And I know the perfect place."

Y/N raised an eyebrow in question, but George only winked and took her hand in his. "Let's go start our forever, shall we?"

~•~

@milivanili99 @fancy-pantaloons @turvi @zvummyummy @xmjthewitchx @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @georgie-weasley @innerloverpainter @samberriejams @nighttimemoonlover @jsjcue @wzrd-wheezes @mrsgweasley @hufflepuffie @morally-grey-obsessed @fredweasleyyyyy @princess-paramour @anvaaryn @lastwandastan @samshifts @asuperconfusedgirl @hmisa11 @superduckmilkshake

[iheartred]

i LOVE ur writing n it’s perfect because i need to consume more media abt the black phone. could i request the black phone x reader where reader is rlly feminine? idk how to word it sorry i hope u get it😭😭

The blackphone x reader

m.list

Them with Feminine!reader

cw : fluff/crack / reader has no distinct gender but is feminine !!(they/them will still be used!!)

a/n : I understand this in a way (I think??) I hope everyone else understands too, and I'm hoping this is what you meant whsjsh😭

(After writing this I think this is just more of a really pretty and kind!reader oo my bad whsjsh,also this will be pretty short whdjd)

Finney Blake :

Doesnt know how to be around you

Like he's always so nervous, whether it'd be your very kind and soft personality or you're entire style that take his breath away

He's like just amazed at how pretty you can be dude :C

You : Hey Finn! What are we doing in class toda- you good??

Finney(sweating) : never been better!

You : okay??

he will try to compliment you and by try I mean he'll walk up to you, stare at you like you're a God, look down, then walk away

And you're just standing there with your friends wondering what that was all about

Friend : huh?? Was he gonna ask you out or something

Robin (from the sidelines) : he was gonna say you looked nice y/n

You : oh! Tell him I said thanks!

He'd tell you over the phone how sorry he was about how weird he was

Robin Arellano :

" Eres Bonita "(You're pretty)

Is all he'd say outlook before saying it was nothing when he realized you didn't hear him

He will literally always be trying to impress you, intentionally or unintentionally he will do so

He'll literally pick you up if you said your legs were hurting

Helps you fix your makeup because he always sees his mom during her makeup and she taught him how to do a girls makeup if he ever wanted to really impress a person

You : Wow!! My makeup looks even better than before Robin, thanks so much

Robin : Ofcourse no pro-

And then you'd kiss him on the cheek as a real thank you then you'd run off saying "OKAY SEE YOU TOMORROW BYEBYE ROBIN!!!"

Bruce yamada :

Will steal your sweaters as a joke because you said he'd never rock any sort of outfit you wear

Lowkey kinda likes these sweaters, won't ever admit that though

Will do your nails with you

You : Bruce you're literally painting my entire finger at this point stop

Bruce : whattt noo that's craz-

You : Bruce. I don't have nail polish remover. Please

Then he'd stop..

Then paint you finger again and run away

Loves to show off when he's at a game and you're there, will be on 170% during the entirety of the game

If his team coach ever found out it was you who fired him up like this, expect your mother calling you down to tell you that it was the coach for the 50th time that week

Loves doing you hair, since he has a little sister I can imagine him doing her hair whenever his mom is out and about or she would just rather that her older and cooler brother do it for her

Vance Hopper :

Is probably also really nervous around you

Doesnt show or admit it though because letting someone like you ruin his reputation of being a hard-core tough guy would be embarrassing

Now this doesn't mean he'll straight up ignore you, or be rude towards you it just means he won't ever let himself be seen blushing whenever you tell him how pretty he can be too

Vance : That's embarrassing literally shut up

You : It's not though! You really are pretty, like your hair and you're eyes are just really-

And then all you can hear is rambling from your end and a Vance who's trying really hard not to show that's he's extremely flustered by this

if he felt like the day was going pretty great, he'd definitely be very openly kind to you

Telling you how gorgeous you looked, complimenting your hand writing, letting his hand linger a little longer on yours when he tried reaching for his paper

Anyways, I feel like if you asked him on this particular day he'd MAYBE let you put his hair up not in public but you know it still works

Billy Showalter :

Is nervous around you, like whenever you're out in the morning waiting for the daily newspaper he always makes sure your last so he gets a lot of time to spare so he can talk to you

Billy : goodmorning y/n

You : Goodmorning Billy! Thanks for the newspaper!

You say slightly shouting it

He loves when you talk to him, especially when you ask him for help, specifically

He knows anyone would ask for help, but when you ask it's like an angel just put a blessing upon him

will help you put your hair up with your pins, and loves to compliment them

Billy : your pins are very cute

You : thanks Billy, I get them from Walmart they cost like one dollar, sometimes even just 50 cents!

Next thing you know, Billy comes up to you with different pins whenever they have new ones in-stock

Is flustered around you a lot, but never shows it

But his front breaks whenever you pat him on the shoulder and tell him he did a good job, or thank him for helping you study for the test that day

You always walk away and never realize that you leave him a blushing mess of a man

☆ ☆ ☆

[crushedsweets]

SUCKER suckerrrr snap out of it by arctic monkeys is sooo ninakate suckerr trust

i'm so ill. my hands shake and crack as i imagine ninakate living out their life. give me a moment to process. as per usual, im writing this as if i was planning out a one-shot song-fic.

someone remind me to do this with kill the director eventually

ok to begin. the song is from kates perspective to nina.. im imagining its after theyve had their weird little 'meaningless' kisses. IN THIS STORY, SHE KINDA LINGERS BACK TO JEFF ON AND OFF... also this is mostly sad theres barely a good ending im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry

nina is well integrated into the kate, clocky, toby, EJ friend group by this point. but every time she spends a few weeks trying to "work things out" with jeff, she's completely off in her own world. she withdraws from her friends, half cuz she's so focused on 'fixing' the doomed relationship and half cuz she's so embarrassed that she keeps going back and i think that shit is SOUL CRUSHING to kate. she hasn't had feelings for someone since . . . lauren . . . and she finally gets fragments of romance again, only for nina to constantly wander off after leading her on. also heavy on the 'fell in love, or near enough' cuz what nina and jeff has is not love 'i gotta tell you the truth' its eating kate alive. she doesnt really talk emotions and she never tells people what to do, but she just wants to scream bro.

i think toby, clocky, and ej have already exhausted themselves telling nina to give it up. EJ has tried gentle pieces of advice, clocky has bickered back and forth, and toby has outright screamed at nina to STOP GOING BACK TO HIM. and none of it did anything. but kate doesnt tell people what to do. the most she would do is raise a brow at nina and sigh and shake her head. i think this would eventually be a good bonding moment for kate and toby, where she confides in him about feeling like she missed her shot. toby tells her that she's never gonna 'miss her shot' ... especially w a girl as messy as nina...cuz evidently jeff did all that and still didnt miss HIS shot. LMFAO... but he'd encourage kate to get her shit together and just talk to nina about it. and for some reason nobody listens to tobys damn advice so kate just sits and waits.

ok this is just very straightforward. kate is constantly mulling over it and pissed and sad and bummed out. (oddly enough, tobys relieved to see her stressing over crushes instead of like.... being torn apart from the inside by a cryptic entity)

'it sounds like settling' down or givin' up, but it don't sound much like you, girl' OK i think this line works for kate AND nina.

toby would be saying something like this to kate. its kind of warped, cuz i think when kates in the chaser mode, she does not give up. she is persistent and she attacks with a goal. he's watched the chaser run to the brink of exhaustion, to the point where kate was bed ridden afterwards. SO WHY WOULD SHE GIVE UP ON SOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS A GIRL ?!?!?!

and in turn, kate would be thinking this towards nina. settling down doesnt seem like nina. giving up is also not like nina cuz she is also quite persistent until feelings fade... which frustrates kate cuz she gets stuck in this loop of 'even if she were to leave jeff, why would she settle for me? why would she stay with me? there's no point in getting deeper into this'

kate would eventually have to snap, as stories go. grabbing nina and confessing, going on about how fucking dumb nina is being. honestly, kate would probably accidentally choke out things she heard from EJ, clocky, and toby all scolding nina... which would either upset nina, or feel like a full circle moment where FINALLYYYYY all the shit that she's been told all this time has come together. and finally she can be like oh.... this is really embarrassing for me...... also oh my god wait

the idea of kate writing nina a letter. oh my god. wait. GUSY WAIT FUCK KATE WRITING NINA A LETTER WAIT FUCK FUCKKKKKKKKKKKK KATE WRITES HER A LETTER THATS CANON NOW IM SORRY IM SORRY IMSORRY

[i-cant-sing]

I recently watched an autistic lawyer drama, which inspired this ask!

How would Halima and Mahir react to reader not being rejected out of law cases and even discriminated against by both clients and coworkers due to her disability (any disability will do whether mental or physical). Despite being very capable as a lawyer, people focus on her disability rather than her skills. Maybe she had a case that was instead passed on the either of them as the client demanded to have a “proper” attorney

Well, in this AU, they would both be lawyers. Halim works at his father's firm, and Mahir has started his own firm, both of which arebvery successful. You would probably be a friend of theirs from law school and they've both been very fond of you ever since, and now you were hired by Mahir's firm (even though Halim fought hard to get you in his firm with all the added benefits and bonuses, it was you who decided to work for Mahir because you felt he would be good at giving you constructive criticism. Halim is a softie).

So you have a stutter, but you have never let it be a problem. No, no, you were confident and hardworking and smart. Even in law school, you were good at defending your mock cases and thesis.

And your clients were always satisfied with your work as well, even if you were always supervised by Mahir for the first few cases. And since he was happy with your work, he decided to let you handle the next case on your own.

And boy oh boy did he know he made the right choice with you when you brought in a very big, very rich client. He gave you a nod of approval when you were leading the client to a meeting room.

Halim had decided to drop in by Mahir's firm to hang out with him (and you of course, although he'd much rather take you out with him. But you're far too concerned with work ethics), when he saw you leaving the meeting room with tears in your eyes. He followed you to your office, eyes widening at you sobbing quietly, looking startled when he called out your name.

"Y/n?" Halim walked closer, pulling your hands away from your face that were trying to wipe away the tears. "What happened?"

And that was enough for you to start crying again.

You told him everything, about the new client you had found, and how he berated you for having a stutter, said that he doesn't need a useless stuttering clown to fuck up his case and make him lose millions, and to go fetch him a more competent lawyer and threw a wad of cash at your face to "go fix your stutter and your face".

Halim's mouth had never dropped so fast and while he was busy consoling you (and plotting this guy's murder), unbeknownst to the two of them, Mahir had listened to all of this(because he ahd his assistant inform him whenever Halim entered the building so that he could keep his friend away from you) and was now inside the meeting room, ripping this client a new one using all the dirt he had gotten on him before Mahir had allowed you to get a new client (you didn't think hed let you have ANY client did you? The world is full of nasty criminals and he doesnt want one within 100 metres of you.) Within 5 minutes, the client had left Mahir's firm with his tail tucked between his legs.

When Halim was done consoling you, Mahir had entered your office and apologised on behalf of the rude client and had told you that you will not be dealing with him anymore.

"But- but he's worth a lot to the firm!" You argued, standing up to run after the client and beg him to stay. You didn't want Mahir to lose a client because of you.

But Mahir grabbed your shoulders before you could run, wiping away the tears on your cheeks.

"Not more than you."

Meanwhile, Halim had excused himself to the restroom to make some calls that ended up in making sure that no firm in the entire country takes this jerk's case, and if someone does, then Halim uses his daddy's money to buy off the judges and police to get fake evidence and make this guy lose his case and money. Oh and Halim and Mahir will team up to fight the case against this guy and there's no way that anyone can win a case against them when they work together.

No one gets away with making you cry.

[hearts401]

"do NOT ask me about ggy or patient 46 because i WILL begin ranting"

You see, I am incapable of ever listening to anyone, ever, so I must ask about GGY and patient 46

I have absolutely no knowledge of modern FNaF lore; I have not read any of the books (something I plan to fix whenever my bank account stops bleeding) so you're gonna have to do some heavy lifting here and tell me all about it

Ooh boy rubs my hands together

okay so im gonna start with ggy because i love Tony and Ellis. (i dont have the book in front of me tho so this isnt gonna be 100% every detail)

GGY is about a kid named Tony Becker who has an assignment in his 6th grade english class. He has to write a fictional mystery with side plots that tie into the main plot. He chooses to do this with his two friends. They use pen names whenever they do their english projects together (sobs and wails and cries into my hands) and Tony picked Tarbell, and his friends were Boots and Dr. Rabbit (or Rab for short).

Tony wants to start working on their project, but Boots and Rab want to go to the fazcade. Tony gives in when rab backs up boots (tony sees boots as immature and worries about outgrowing him and hanging out more with rab) tony wanders around the fazcade trying to find inspo, and then notices someone named GGY with top scores on some of the games. when he asks other people about it, they tell him the scores are seemingly impossible, but when he asks a staff member, he's told they haven't been hacked.

At some point he makes an online blog to ask about it and a girl he'd talked to in the fazcade asks him to meet her. she tells him that she thinks this is more than just high scores, and that he should stay out of it.

Oh also freddy keeps watching tony and at some point begins following him.

Tony finds out that GGY has a hacked party pass (or it was like a fun pass or smth) that gives them access to much more than it should, working almost like a security card.

Tony then finds out one of the school counselors has gone missing, and he sneaks into the librarian's office to learn more about it. he finds out two other counselors have also gone missing, all of them having gone to the pizzaplex before disappearing.

tony writes his paper and gives it to Rab and Boots to look over, and when they come back the next day, they've changed it into a fantasy story. And GGY is labled as the wizard's favorite apprentice, rather than someone getting high scores on arcade games.

tony is upset with rab and boots and begins calling htem by their actual names.

Rab is Greg, Boots is Ellis.

tony is also in trouble for sneaking into the librarian's office and using her laptop, so he has detention shelving books.

Greg come and offers to take him to the pizzaplex when he's done, and it's kind of implied he killed him there.

again i have bad memory and i dont have the book in front of my so anyone can feel free to correct anythign i got wrong or missed

now onto patient 46 who's from the therapy tapes in sb.

this'll be undeniably easier because i can just listen to the tapes. patient 46 is also not confirmed to be gregory, its just a theory, so im just gonna call them 46.

its important to note that 46 does not speak.

everything here is things implied to have been nonverbally communicated to the therapist.

Tape 2:

It starts with the therapist talking about how the day is nice, but 46 doesnt like the light, so the therapist draws the blinds. she then comments on how 46 is not talking to her today, and says that she gets reviews from patients, and when 46 doesn't let her help them, she gets bad reviews. she tells 46 she could get in trouble and get put in timeout, which 46 finds funny.

Tape 4:

New therapist is here, she asks if 46 is going to talk to her, and they dont reply. she asks whats wrong, and they gesture to the flowers. the therapist comments on them being particularly fragrant and moves them. The therapist then comments on 46 staring at something, and says they're "amazingly alert." she says shed like to have 46 tell her about themself, but 46 does not. the therapist instead chooses to look through their notes. she also comments on the chair not fitting 46, but its not specified if its too big or too small. she then asks if 46 is bothered by a new therapist, but 46 doesnt seem surprised or confused at all. the therapist says shes surprised by whats in 46's notes. she says they have a "rebellious side" and a knack for computers, and explains the word phenom to them. the tape ends with her asking if 46 considers themself a hacker

tape 6:

new therapise again! she tells 46 shes already read their files and knows what theyve worked on. 46 asks for a candy, and she gives one to them, taking one for herself as well. she says she wants to start with 46's parents, and claims it was tragic but she doesnt think 46 has processed it emotionally. she says they wrote it like they had read it off of a book. (her exact words are they wrote an objective rather than a subjective narrative, but 46 didnt know what that meant.) she says 46 spends a lot of time alone and is good at self-dialogue, which she explains is "asking urself questions and getting answers" she tells them to try asking themself how they feel about what happened to them. she tells them to let themself be upset about it so they can let it go.

tape 8:

same therapist as 6! she asks 46 if theyve thought about what they talked about. 46 had told them their past had made them sad and scared. the therapist asks if they had written down exactly what made them feel that way. she then says she works with many people who respond to tragedy differently. she asks 46 if their fantasies would be different had this tragedy not happened to them.

Tape 13:

new therapist again! she says when shes getting to know a client, she likes to find out abt their hobbies. when she doesnt get a reply, she asks if they like sports. 46 tells her they like to watch sports, but not play them. and that they like to stay inside. the therapist then reluctantly tells 46 that their previous therapists have gone missing. except one who was found dead, and they said her body looked to be mangled by machinery. the therapist also comments that 46 doesn't look concerned about it. she jokes about watching her back, which 46 finds funny.

Tape 14:

same therapist as 13. she asks if 46 knows about the pizzaplex, and says the technicians who work there know them. theyve seen what they think is 46 on the security cameras. they say 46 was accused of hacking their systems. the therapist says that the hacks are causing tons of problems, but that there's no solid proof it was 46, and 46 finds it funny that the techs are having issues. she says she finds it weird that 46 would spend time in such a busy, crowded place despite their loner attitude. she asks if its the electronics that 46 likes. she also says theyve designed programs that talk to them and repeat phrases. she says it asks them questions and prompts for responses, like their own little therapist. she said at first she had thought they were talking to themself, but it seems more like they were talking to someone else. she asks who it was.

Tape 15:

same therapist as 13+14. she starts with asking if 46 wants to do an ink blot test. she shows them an image, and 46 asks to hold it. 46 says it reminds them of a mask. the therapist asks if 46 likes the idea of being disguised, and how they make you invisible. she says being invisible lets you get away with anything, and asks 46 if they like that idea. she then moves on to something else, telling 46 that it seems theyve been talking to someone else. she says the techs think that its someone trying to lure 46 away, or manipulate them. the therapist moves to where she can see 46's eyes, and says she got something different from the communications. she accuses 46 of manipulating someone, rather than being manipulated. she says they were recorded on the security cameras with someone else. she says that it looks like the person theyre with has rabbit ears, which 46 finds amusing.

Tape 16:

Same therapist as 13+14+15. she says shes gotten another message from the pizzaplex that says that theres a glitch in the system that makes the animatronics more eerie than entertaining. she says the glitch spread system-wide and infected all the machines. she also says it was traced back to 46. she says the glitch broadcasted a dangerous message. she also says that when the techs were trying to fix it, the source shifted. she says that the glitch changed from a glitch and became a set of sub-routines that were made to do exactly what the glitch was doing. (which basically means it stopped just being a glitch and became part of the system?? i think?? idk shit abt computers bruh) when 46 does not reply, she presses, saying she is on their side and wont tell anyone what is told to her during the session and that the techs have no proof it was 46, so theyre not in trouble. when 46 doesnt reply still, she brings up their past. 46 refuses to look at her, but she continues. she says it doesnt matter if they look at the floor, because nothing they told her about their parents was true. she says they had great parents, and a great childhood. she asks 46 why they lied, and tells them to look at her. she then says she understands why 46 would be upset about the confrontation, and says they can come back to this another day. the last line she says is "you're shaking your head like that's not going to happen."

UHM YEAH IM NORMAL ABOUT THEM LOL.

i have a lot of thoughts on both of these parts and i personally believe 46 is Gregory. but if i dumped all my thoughts we'd be here all day so have this long ass explanation instead

[shamelessler]

Spongebob Headcanons

Spongebob

- Spongebobs parents were rich and didnt have a lot of time for him

- He has adhd, his parents were very upsetted by the news because it messed up their plans for him to be a 'perfect child'

- Spongebob is a nickname, his real name is Robert

- He was born an only child

- Knows how to speak French because it's his mothers native language

- Strangely good at twerking??🤨

- Sings "livin la vida loca" and "living in the sunlight, loving in the moonlight" when drunk

- On the aro/ace spectrum

- Doesn't like people prying on his love life

- Learned ukulele as a kid and wrote songs

- Spongebob owns no pictures of him from his childhood, because he was very uncomfy with how his parents made him dress

- He's pretty masc presenting but he's not opposed to wearing a dress if its his style

- He refuses to curse around children and berrades people for doing so by saying "language"

- Spongebob just started college to become a biologist and works at the Krusty Krab part time but also does random things like garage sales and stuff to get more money

- He's very independant and refuses to use any of his parents money, even if they really want to use the money to get closer to Spongebob (which never worked)

- His parents send him presents and stuff for every occasion but Spongebob always ends up giving it to Patrick or Squidward for free, he'd rather his parents spend quality time with him instead of on money

- Favorite childhood movie will always be Lilo and Stitch💓

- Speaking of, his love language is 100% quality time. he doesnt care what he's doing as long as he gets to spend time with the people he loves while doing it. he also doesnt mind hugs<3

- Refuses to have anyone fix his tooth gap, he's very attached to it

- 27 years old

- Favorite songs are ocean man, la vie en rose, and beautiful boy. <3

- Went to camp with Patrick, Sandy, and Squidward as a kid:)

Squidward

- He used to date Squilliam, but he broke up with him years ago

- Has a twin sister, but they dont talk anymore

- His guilty pleasure show is Dance Moms

- Got made fun of for taking ballet as a kid

- Interested in feminine things but loves when people validate his masculinity

- That one guy everyone just assumes is gay without any explanation needed

- He's had the same clarinet since he was 10 years old and its very much a comfort object for him

- Says hes too mature for cursing, but he swears under his breath all the time

- Has an unlikely bond with Sandy once he starts getting closer to Spongebob, Sandy was the first one to help Squidward talk about how Spongebob makes him feel

- Spongebob goes to every concert of Squidwards that he can and it secretly makes Squidward v happy

- In my world, Squidward basically just started adulting cuz hes in his 20's and he hates it. He's like a kind of edgy teen thats already over the world.

- Works the Krusty Krab part time and does art commisions when he's at home

- His love language is words of affirmation

- He babysat Pearl a lot when he was a teenager to make money and sometimes Spongebob joined in with the babysitting

- A theater kid at heart

- Favorite songs consist of songs from musicals, The Girl From Ipanema, and anything by Billie Eilish cause he's a sensitive soul😭

- 29 years old and he already thinks hes an old man who's wasting away🙄

- Favorite childhood movie was The emperor's new groove cause he had a crush on Pacha lol

Plankton

- That one gay uncle that brings alcohol to a kids birthday party

- Karen and Plankton are gay best friends that look like a straight couple

- Karen is always trying to convince Plankton that he has a crush on Krabs

- Spent his childhood with Krabs

- Definitely has a hyperfixation on Mr. Krabs but he doesn't realize

- Weird sense of humor

- Curses constantly

- Planktons love language is acts of service

- Only opened the Chum Bucket to be closer to Krabs

- 67 years old and he's a fucking dilf😩

- He doesn't really listen to music, but when he does its mostly angsty

- His favorite childhood movie was Peter Pan

Mr. Krabs

- Cursing comes natrually to Mr. Krabs, Spongebob doesnt even try to stop him anymore

- He and Plankton are like the cool cousins at the christmas party smoking pot in the closet

- Mr. Krabs' love language is gifts, or just saving him money😭

- He secretly sees Spongebob and Squidward as the sons he never had, considering the two boys had been doing silly money making schemes with Mr Krabs for as long as they could remember

- Gets worried about Plankton all the time and gets anxious about if he pushed him too hard

- Him and Plankton have a sort of silent agreement to keep up the act of cat and mouse, since neither of them want to admit they truely just miss each other

- He was in the navy as soon as he could be enrolled and dislikes the 4th of July because it gives him flashbacks

- Sees his old navy friends as family

- As a human he 100% has a beer belly😭

- His favorite songs consist of sea shanties and funnily enough, The Electric Skates. Pearl got him into it but he refuses to admit it

- 69 years old and constantly jokes about the certain number🚶‍♀️

- Refuses to admit it, but his favorite childhood movie was Cinderella because he dreamt about his own fairy god mother coming to bless him and his poor family with riches

Patrick

- in my secret dating au, Patrick gets tired of pretending like he doesnt know that Squidward and Spongebob like each other so he says, "Once you both marry, can I be Squidwards best friend in law?"

- Patricks love language is definitely physical touch and receiving gifts

- He met Spongebob when the 5 year olds saw each other outside and the two would make silly gestures at each other from across the street

- He's on tiktok a lot so he listens to songs he found on tiktok lol. so he likes tyler the creator and stuff

- 27 years old

- Has matching pfps with Spongebob on every social media platform

- Became an influencer on accident

- That one kid that vaped in the middle school bathroom

- He went through an emo phase

- Got in a lot of fights as a kid on behalf of Spongebob

- His mom is extremely reminent of Eric Cartman's mom😭 "okey, dear."

- Loved to watch Lilo and Stitch with Spongebob as kids

- Cringe and proud

- Loves buddy movies

- Thinks Teen Titans, Go! is funny af (it is guys i promise it is)

Sandy

- Only curses if she has a really good reason and doesn't use them on others

- Her love language is acts of service:)

- Met Spongebob in camp when she was 11

- Vegan

- Has a gay twin brother named Randy that shes very close to

- Her favorite kinds of songs are folk, country, also she enjoys the music artists bôa, lady lamb, and taylor swift

- She is an activist

- Had a lisp as a kid

- 28 years old

- Favorite childhood movie was Cloudy with a chance of Meatballs since she related to him so much as a kid and still does

_______________

A/N: ok im done with general hcs, agere is next:)

id like to thank my bf for helping me brainstorm a lot of these hcs with me, ty lux for giggling abt spongebob with me.

[definitelynotshouting]

hihi ok ok a lot of thinksies incoming

the fact that grian realized he was drawing on everyone while he was asleep and decided to not sleep and ended up having a panic attack and accidentally amplifying scar and xisuma's feelings to the same level its like.. living with a mental illness. you can't be passive and ignore it (which for grian would mean sleeping and hoping he can just *not* do it) but you also can't be aggressive and try to get rid of it (which for grian is not sleeping) you just have to learn to live with it and have it not harm you or other people (which he hasnt found yet)

+ i am loving that we are seeing more of his memories from being with the watchers but not as a flashback but in parallels from present to past (+the past repeats itself) + also your similies/metaphors are delicious "To skirt past the edge of death and fly, a blind and unwitting moth, toward the bright, unspoiled future", "a creeping, crawling notion that the world no longer makes sense, fits poorly around one's shoulders. Like a worn, childhood coat, stained with the devastating loss of innocence" and "he's pressed a knife to every promise he's ever made since the day he emerged, digging into sinew until each fitful thread snaps. His existence lies in the shadows of these distorted fractures, jagged hopes and dented dreams, forever fated to cut his hands on the fragments. Holding them together has never been a permanent solution; all it ever does is make him bleed." to name a few + HEHEHE IMAGINING MUMBOS IMMACULATE MOUSTACHE

also i might just be vibibg this but i think out of everyone tango feels a sort of parental obligation to grian. hes worried he'll stop breathing in the night, he gets him out of his room, he beams when grian smiles. pearl and mumbo have the sort of betrayed sibling feeling, scar is still trying to hold everything together and xisuma is harbouring the guilt of being the guy who kicked him for the good of the server because they were also good friends. tango has ideas of what is good for grian but being peers ig? also doesn't want to go over what grian wants too much. tango is a little more divided from the others, hes here for jimmy and grian getting better extends to everyone else in their immediate party and further back to hermitcraft and to jimmy and joel and lizzie and everyone

"this would all be so much simpler if nobody cared. But they do, because they're good people" this. this is so bhersnfkksd cause im no stranger to suicidal thoughts and its spot on but then ALSO grian attributing it to their being good people rather than his friends and his saying "they're good people" as if he isn't a good person is so telling in his self loathing

"He senses more than sees Tango level him with an appraising look. As if Grian is a redstone problem in need of solving, of only finding the right tinker to make him function again." i love this. the dynamic of one cahracter being techy/handy in some way and wishing they could fix someone because its so much harder making a person ok again

also also it is so important to me that scar can recognise grian's needs as having wings and can say that they haven't been taken care of and are probably uncomfy but grians so wallowed in his self hatred and refuses to allow himself fundamental upkeep

+ TANGO VOICE IS DELICIOUS

"Grian hesitates. It's somehow both sooner and later than he'd thought he'd have, but… he can make it work. He has to." gODSS he doesnt want to go quite yet because hes suddenly reconnected with these people he lost and it would've been so much easier if he had never reconnected with them in the first place but its so hard to want to die and then be faced with death because all of a sudden you're thinking about that cake you'll never get to bake and wishing death came before you thought of baking a cake

+ tango is our like relief character ig? he doesnt bring all the same weight and its so amazing because a) i love tango b) hes able to be lighthearted and joke and hope and its so necessary with everyone else drowning (even if no one can really tell scar is falling apart)

"Despite the distance and heartbreak between them, Grian knows how the hermits work." MAN. the way he can tell where people have walked and what theyve done, its such a cool mechanic + i giggled a bit knowing Scar made the doorknobs of copper he has a very healthy diet of it /silly

"Tango gives him another one of those long, appraising looks. Then, before Grian can unclench his jaw to ask, Tango pulls back altogether, bringing his other hand up to twist the cork. It frees from the bottle's mouth with a musical plop, and without the faintest twitch in expression, Tango smoothly offers it out again." THIS!! its sad because in a way you know tango hoped grian would be able to open the bottle himself at some point but its also sweet because hes willing to help and take care of grian until that comes

+ grian relishing in the loneliness. sometimes it is just such a privelige to let yourself be sad or lonely for a bit. dont know why

as always its been an absolute treat to read your writing!! boy this is a long one.. thanks for feeding us :P

-🍁

I cannot come up with a coherent response to this rn but !!!!! Please know i am so 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ abt this omg!!! This is so sweet and i love love love seeing analysis of my writing it just makes me so excited to see what you guys pick up from it :] this made my night omg thank u

[safetycar-restart]

My lessons are pretty boring so I came up with some thoughts

Charles just loves being a good boy and he loves spending time with you. So he uses every moment to just be with you. When you're cooking a dinner, he is sitting on the counter and watching. When you're working, he is always next to you watching something on his laptop or looking at you. Even when you're painting your nails, he is sitting beside you and watching. He loves observing you.

At first it was a bit uncomfortable, his eyes were always at you and you just felt watched. But time passed and you eventually got used to it. And now you like it too. His gaze is always so loving and admiring, soft smile playing on his face. And you know you couldn't love him more.

Sometimes he likes to help you. He cuts vegetables for dinner or trying to paint your nails. And he is so happy!! Because he's a good boy, he's helping his mommy! And you're just happy to let him help you. Even if it's nothing big, you know how badly he wants to please you and how proud he is of himself. After all you just want him to be happy, having your personal little hepler is just nice addition.

- 🪸

Oh my god I love this so much. I received this ask a couple days ago and I've been reading and rereading it ever since cause it's so good? I adore this.

When you first got with Charles, his constant attention was unnerving. It felt like he was judging you, closely watching you to catch any small error.

But no, that's not it at all. He isn't judging you, he would NEVER judge you. He just... he loves you? So much? And so he always has his eyes on you, always wants to watch you.

Why would he waste a moment with you? He'd much rather be watching you make dinner than sitting in the living room watching tv or scrolling through his phone, because you're not in the living room. Why would he be there if you're somewhere else?

I think it would take him a while to ask to help you though. Not because he doesn't want to, he's wanted for ages, but because he's so scared of messing up?

Since the first time he watched you paint your nails, he's wanted to help you do it. But what if he messes up? What if you aren't happy with it? What if he ends up making your life harder?

He couldn't stand the thought of that.

But over time he began to realise that you'd never be upset with him for that, and that you want him to be happy. Helping you would make him so happy, so he knows he would be being a good boy if he asked.

And he's so nervous the first time he helps with your nails!! But he focuses so hard, putting all his concentration into it and he does so well. Sure he messes up a little, but honestly he does so well and he calms down when you show him how to fix it.

His friends always laugh at how he seems to never be able to remove his eyes from you, but he doesnt even notice that they're laughing, because he's way too busy watching you.

And nothing, and I mean nothing, is better than when you look up from what you're doing and look at him. Cause his mommy is looking at him!! His mommy was looking for him!!!

He smiles so wide, immediately coming towards you for a forehead kiss cause he's just so overwhelmed by warm, happy emotions.

[myshredda]

Don’t mind me, just thinking about how in the jobs Ep when yellow’s literally FUCKING DYING, Duck screams at Red to “DO SOMETHING!”, because he’s always been the one to save them. To “turn off the machine”, if you will. I think the reason why Duck is the most distressed by change is because he doesn’t have the power to fix it, which is why he’d rather stick to the script. It’s because Yellow and Red hold those cards, even if they don’t realize it. It may explain his disappointment in Red. -🍓🍷

Yes exactly!!! Because Red was the one who wandered into a position of power in that episode, so Duck and Yellow (floor workers) are completely powerless compared to him socially. The trusted him to make the right decision, and instead, he acts selfishly and only operated to save his (and the company) from being held accountable.

The jobs episode is one of my absolute favorites just because of the way they so easily weaved all of this social commentary into a silly puppet show with gratuitous gore! Red became the "Boss" by happenstance, he was in the right place at the right time, he has no idea what he's doing but everyone around him (the fax machine and the rubbish bin) are yes men, they constantly stroke his ego BECAUSE he's the boss, regardless of how well he's actually doing the job (which is badly, because he DOESNT WORK HERE) and in the end, when an employee has been injured due to the unsafe working conditions of the warehouse, he fires the employee instead of taking charge and helping the situation in anyway. It was self-preservation and saving face for the company.

Yellow, who had worked at the factory for 40 years at that point, is retiring. He's wasted his entire life at the factory, he's got no friends or family outside of this job, having met his "wife" simply because she's next to him on the line, and has re-modeled his entire personality into fitting into the workplace as seamlessly as possible. He's seriously injured as a senior, and instead of getting helped, he's fired. With no retirement, his medical bills would be ASTRONOMICAL and that's only if he survived the incident. He'd be mentally, emotionally, and physically scarred for the rest of his life, with no help from the place of employment that he poured his entire soul into.

Duck, the most outspoken of the three, is immediately fired for questioning the system, and is tossed into a pseudo-helpful therapy situation that's obviously supposed to be a critique of how even mental health resources have been co-opted by the capitalistic systems we're all trapped in. The therapy isn't to help Duck feel better, it's a bunch of buzzwords and empty platitudes and forced medication that would get him back to work as fast as possible, and when he refuses, a physical representation of the system (the care hound) LITREALLY chews him up and spits him out. Finally, he's back in the workforce, because the other alternative is virtually impossible to live in. It's been made into a hostile culture of either working until death, or being shunned by society and your peers, and most people choose the former for a sense of stability in an already unkind world.

TLDR:

Red represents those of us that are allowed to fall upward, either by change or due to random circumstance. Those that fall into a job and work it their entire lives, never once having to see the realities and hardships of life, and only work to further their own life, disreguarding the rest of us without a second thought.

Yellow represents most of society, who give their entire lives to a thankless job and are discarded once they're no longer useful in a capitalistic society. Left to suffer and die after working thanklessly for his entire youth.

Duck represents those who try to fight against the system, and are told there must be something wrong with them mentally. Pill and therapy forced onto those who feel disillusioned with life in a endless grind of work and when you're finally sick of it you're shunned, ostracized, and (eventually) reprogrammed.

After all, you must be mentally ill if you don't want to waste your entire life in a factory with no free time, lousy pay, eat the same bad food over and over again, and retire with only a 'thank you' card and shitty speech from a boss you rarely saw that does as little as possible and eats diamonds while you choke down cups of rancid oil.

[aveimperatcr]

SOME HEADCANONS AND THOUGHTS.

with how much emps is gonna technically be canon-divergent,, HOOOH MAMA

ill admit i dont have access to the books or codexes, but i've been trying to research a ton about this shitlord and its a bit hard when hes meant to be a big mysterious character, not to mention how shit and convoluted Games Workshop makes things, so i want to at least get some thoughts down!

TW FOR SU//I/CIDE MENTION, WAR, DEATH, MENTAL ILLNESS ETC.

note: there is a headcanon about DID/Dissociative Identity Disorder-- if there are things perceived as wrong or inaccurate, please let me know! i want to portray it as respectfully as possible!!! i have been trying to do research so far!

my brother in christ hes actually up and about!!!!! - a verse i will very often play emps in is him freshly returning from the Golden Throne. somehow, there is a power source-- perhaps from the Emperor's sheer strength or with the assistance of the best of the best from the Priesthood of Mars-- that can properly protect the Webway portal from the Ruinous Powers. finally, having regained some of his strength, the emperor deems it best to actually descend from the Throne to fix what his Imperium has become-- and while there are no doubts that the Emperor himself is horribly flawed, he is determined to at least make things right enough alongside what is left of his sons

emps in my interpretation isn't a COMPLETE cunt - hes still done wildass things. not dismissing that, but some shit seems so arrogant or insane that i want to sort of just. fix shit up a bit

not the WORST dad.... - certainly not the best, either-- emps has all his own issues that are batshit nuts considering he's a psychic superbeing made of like 10 ancient shaman psykers from the beginnings of mankind, but... - i imagine he tries to actually sort of make shit work and actually do things, but with certain situations he might have not realized how he'd HARDCORE change shit like with angron being 'ported away (not knowing angron bonded so much with the other slaves/gladiators) or other shit

malcador? more like malcawhore - i'm probably gonna get executed for this shit but things ive read up about malcador just make me screech-- hes not a good person (neither is emps, believe me)-- to the point bro literally has a half-eldar servant named Ael Wyntor that he tells all his war crimes to, to the point it makes Ael want to turn in their living license personally, and malcador keeps fucking reviving him. - not to mention malcador himself having secret plans of his own for the imperium when confronted by... i believe a wordbearer? (given i BELIEVE the wordbearer was possessed but shits kinda sus if hes got stuff even the EMPEROR doesnt know about) - and fucking choking horus out when horus is concerned about the two missing primarchs, on the day of HIS FUCKING CEREMONY - obviously if people ever do RP malcador we can literally just make our own weird mini canon of the weird friendship (or not-friendship) of malcador and emps, this is just my personal thoughts - i just think that MAYBE things weren't so 'haha!! they're friends amazing cool!!!' behind the scenes

being like 59389124098 psykers in a coat is kinda tough - i imagine while its needed for emps to have psykers be sacrificed to him to make him more powerful, that shit just adds to all his weird sort of incarnations and personalities since theyre being sacrificed to him to give him more power - while it helps him continue to protect Holy Terra, keep up the Astronomican and all sorts of shit... doesnt help mental state very much - literally feels like getting 50 billion people getting crammed into his brain

what are some other things hes got going on with him? - mainly, a headcanon of mine is that for the Emperor, he's got DID (dissociative identity disorder) that would be caused by a traumatic event - this traumatic event specifically is about him first meeting the enemies of Mankind, which would fuel a lot of the Imperium's intolerance (OBVIOUSLY THIS DOES NOT JUSTIFY ANYTHING AND I THE MUN DONT CONDONE) of things mainly not human, but still would allow those that wished to forsake their deities and leaders to join the Imperium of Man. he would never speak about this incident with anyone besides his closest confidants such as Constantin Valdor or Malcador - there is himself as the host, then three other alters - these alters consist of The Anathema, whom was formed after meeting the enemies of Mankind and is portrayed as a large older fellow that is as tall as the Emperor wearing Custodian armor. then, The Navigator, who specifically comes forth in moments where he requires immense charisma or IMMENSE focus on anything relating to the Warp or Warpspace, taking the form of an abhuman called a 'Navigator' with a third eye upon the forehead and gills, pale skin and elongated fingers, wearing deep-colored robes and wielding a staff to guide the Emperor's mind through the nonstop battle against the Ruinous Powers. then, there is the Star Child, a young boy resembling the Emperor that could be considered Mankind's innocence incarnate. - his headspace in his mind forms as a grand voidship, with himself at the helm and surrounded by many of his past lives, the ten shamans, and the many psykers that continue to be sacrificed in his name. the alters always stay at their posts-- the Anathema as something akin to a Seneschal, the Navigator in the Navigator's Chair, and the Star Child at the Emperor's side. - while it may not be very apparent to most that do not know the Emperor, he has specific tics that show when he will switch alters-- usually consisting of a sudden clenching of the fists and his head slightly tilting back - whoever fronts has a different glowing eye color due to the Emperor's psyker abilities and how he portrays himself - the Anathema has the fully golden glow of his eyes, brightly glowing, where the Navigator has a softer white glow to the point it almost looks blue, and the Star Child does not have the glow but instead gentle brown irises. the Emperor's own eyes are a golden iris, but not an engulfing glow - usually when switching alters, the Emperor's alters will have some knowledge on what happened before fronting and often co-con, but sometimes-- that will not always be the case, and often it will be the Anathema who will front if the Emperor himself cannot.

practically an eldritch horror god - even if emps doesnt WANT to be a god, he. he kinda is one - literally because of how a LOT of the Imperium if not all of it worships him as the God-Emperor, the Immaterium has made it fucking real that he is indeed a god and thus he also takes power from it - he can't influence things very well from his throne but if you were in the Warp or in the Immaterium somehow, bro is helping you - he can mainly influence things in terms of dreams, assisting people in some ways like making Living Saints, and using the special tarot cards with pieces of his essence in the Emperor's Tarot for Divination Psykers to use in order to figure out the future - he cannot exactly TALK to people very well... if someone were to somehow approach the Golden Throne or was permitted to, they would deal with an experience much like Guilliman and (i believe Mortarion as he was forced into a memory of Guilliman's?) practically hear billions of voices talking over one another, trying to talk and come forward, unable to ever really come together as the Emperor fractures more and more, but sometimes, sometimes... there will be one voice in the far back of the head who will speak up, and that is the Emperor himself, coming forth

[modernghostfare]

in celebration of Tumblr fixing you please please please niktodim headcanons <3

YES!!!!!! YESSS!!!!!!!!! got long so they are under a readmore BUT! them:

on rodion's side, it started out purely from morbid curiosity. he'd never seen the man out of his mask and he just really wanted to see under it. he had heard about the torture from bale, given strict instructions to not mention it, and he just wanted to see if it was really That bad (it is)

on nikto's side, while there is real desire for rodion, at the start his main reasoning for focusing on him is in how rodion reacts. he likes how initially rodion pushes him away for trying too hard to fuck because it gives nikto a reason to berate himself for being undesirable. before being nikto, sex was easy for him to get. he was handsome and charismatic. now, hes not only disfigured, but keeps himself coated in heavy ass, scary military gear. hes got a staring problem. hes overtly violent. generally unpleasant.

once they DO start its purely a shaky friends with benefits situation. rodion still does not know much about nikto apart from how he works and that hes standoffish. but hes just interesting, and rodion thinks he can dig his way into his personal life.

meanwhile nikto is still just. obsessing over the differences between them. rodion is so clean and fresh compared to him. he hasnt really been through anything tough (that nikto knows of). he hasnt had his mind fucked with and his body torn apart But. he still wants nikto. he wants this, in nikto's mind, disgusting old man.

theyre both REALLY fucking stubborn. like really stubborn. nikto is stubborn about not exposing any emotions he has and letting himself sort of rot where he stays. rodion is stubborn about getting nikto to open up and to take better care of himself.

rodion will keep a mental note of when nikto eats, if he can. if his room is cold, he'll give nikto one of his blankets. when he goes to the store, rodion will ask nikto what he wants first. even if he says nothing rodion will end up getting him something. he puts the weight of nikto's mental health on his shoulders unintentionally.

the deeper they get into their odd relationship the more nikto has troubling thoughts about rodion. constant thoughts. obsessive. he takes to stealing things of rodion's like a magpie, like his pillowcase or bottles of cologne. drinks rodion has already opened and drank the majority of. bubblegum hes spit out.

nikto also dreams of rodion and him. dreams of rodion being home with him, in a real home, with his real family. they make him wake up in a cold sweat, sometimes screaming.

rodion Is too nice, too sweet. nikto sometimes lashes out at this. physically, literally, pushing rodion away from him. this does work. it will keep rodion away from him. for a time. rodion understands the danger, but hes tough, and hes more focused on the mental anguish associated with the violence. this is not to say he appreciates being hurt. he does not let nikto off easy for it.

rodion is more hurt, honestly, by the lack of reciprocation he gets from nikto. he doesnt expect much, but when nikto acts cold after maybe exposing a little bit of himself he feels discouraged. he can tell he means a lot to nikto, but nikto wont let himself admit that bit and it pisses rodion off. any argument they have that rodion starts stems from this

rodion normally tells his mother everything, theyre very close. he Will Not tell her about nikto. nikto knows this and takes it to heart, but ultimately understands. if rodion has a problem with nikto he'll typically end up talking it out with syd, who tells him he deserves better, but also gets that the dick is insane. bale also gets the dick is insane but PLEASE be safe by god. minotaur does NOT get it at all he does not like it once he notices it (last because he always notices things last)

its not all dire. rodion jokes with nikto like he jokes with everyone else. nikto genuinely thinks hes funny. nikto has also been known to crack at joke to rodion

its a lot of effort for nikto to feel comfortable sharing a bed with rodion (esp given his night terrors and sleepwalking) but he does sleep better when he shares a space with rodion.

the dick Is. Insane. Off the wall insane. rodion is pretty vanilla and nikto is just............................... not so its a lot of new things for rodion. not going into specifics. but its fun (insane)

[messier-47]

tobirama going for butsuma's throat is expected. the old bastard still being ALIVE in the first place is not !! somebody come put him down! think of it like a horse! hashirama please stop preaching i know youre charismatic but please your brother is immune to your talk-no-jutsu. also who cares if the plan DIDNT HAPPEN???? butsuma PLANNED to do it! what if it HAD happened???? tobirama doesnt need to put aside his hatred for anyone. he should take his bamboo hat and leave this dump

Oh absolutely he leaves that dump, have you seen Konoha lately?

infrastructure wise, it's like if there were 3 different cities being built. there's about a dozen different city planners tryna talk over one another. Ninja still running in and out of the hokage tower unsure who to report to other than the Hokage, and don't even get me started on the woes of the noncombatants.

There's no equal resources. Entire neighborhoods would be built without a grocery store or a restaurant to proved prepared meals for those that don't have the means to cook for themselves. People in need of water for their job have the hike across the entire village to get 2 buckets. There's no organization of what people do outside of what their Clan Head dictates, which means shinobi children are either being told to train by themselves or thrown into the chaotic mess of trying to help build a village with no overseer.

and my poor little meow meow Madara is just trying his best to hold it all together.

It's his dream for Konoha to work, for a village to provide a space where shinobi didn't have to fight, where children could choose their careers, where the worry of war is no longer on their doorstep so while he's not exacly happy with the backbreaking work he has to put in to get shit down, he doesn't dare complain.

Oh he needles Hashirama to do his share but he's not a fucking babysitter, he can't be wasting time hunting down his idiot friend when he could be using that time going over more paperwork and projects. And honestly, he shouldn't have to be a babysitter. Hashirama is a grown ass adult and if the adult is irresponsible then that's their own flaw that they need to deal with, not coddled and permissed by those around him or by provided crutches. (ops, let my own bias leak right there)

Tobirama came and went. Madara just shrugged his shoulders cause it was kinda obvious that the pale man had his own life and worries to think about and wasn't gonna take up the mantle of being a Senju once again (he still wore that bamboo hat! it's kinda obvious!). Madara just needed to get back to work and in the weeks that follow he'll admit it's a relief to have the merchants on hand to provide provisions and resources but there's still a fuckton of work on his desk.

And then he gets a letter.

Non-descript, addressed to him as co-Hokage and not as the Uchiha Clan Head or something more personal. MAdara even put th letter to the side in favor or 'more important matters' only opening the scroll when he was taking his alotted break over a cup of tea.

Only to spew the tea fucking everywhere cause it was the most insulting, funniest, scathing reveiw of Konoha he'd ever been witness to. Oh man, you could almost smell the salt coming from the letter. It's both the most glorious piece of writing he's ever held in his hands and the most embarressing cause it feels like an assessment of his skill cause as the designated 'City Planner' that Madara always felt like he isn't, every single observation felt like a barb aimed directly at his ego.

And then he read between the lines.

There was...some pretty helpful tips here and there. A few arceticual references. Reflections on history bits. Madara had half a mind to send the letter to the Nara to crack the fucking code cause while it definetely was a brutal opinion on their village...it also provided more than a few reference points to fix it.

Signed, the White Fox.

[mojaves]

For Ryan: 🎻🐈💔

For Dev's brother: 🖊🔱😓

RYAN.

🎻 VIOLIN — does your oc play any instruments? what is their skill level (beginner/intermediate/advanced/virtuoso/etc)?

she Cannot!!! but she can do a mean kazoo solo when given the opportunity [dont do it bc she will Not let go of the kazoo for the rest of the day and WILL bite you if you try tot ake it off of her]

🐈 CAT — does your oc prefer a wide circle of friends or a few close friends?

wide circle of friends is nice bc it's more people to talk to, but it's all superficial,,, she wants people around her who she can have fun with AND cry with if it ever came to that. and if there's one thing she's not doing it's crying in front of people she only hangs out with every third thursday between april and august

💔 BROKEN HEART — what are three of your oc's negative traits?

she can be very. hard to digest i guess??? she's very loud and unapologetically herself but sometimes that can lead to her talking over other people or just straight up ignoring them. not on purpose, it's not out of malice or anything - it's a part of a lack of impulse control, which does become a VERY big problem and is something she desperately needs to work on. when she realises she has a problem. which will take some time. basically she needs to have everything around her go completely to shit before she realises she needs to fix something. the more people try to help her and offer advice, the less she wants to do anything about it.

THE BROTHER.

🖊️ BALLPOINT PEN — does your oc have any tattoos? do they want any (more) tattoos?

they would be similar to dev's in style, lots of thin lines, very detailed. maybe a sun somewhere in there. no specific designs in mind yet but he would've done a lot of them himself late at night when he couldnt sleep. yeah theyre a little sloppy but theyre a part of him, and theyre one of the few things keeping him grounded, so he wouldnt want to change that ever for 'something better'

🔱 TRIDENT EMBLEM — can your oc swim? do they enjoy swimming?

he can swim no he doesnt enjoy it he always ends up cold and aching afterwards and gets WAY too much water in his mouth. also the dysphora sirens. he cannot deal with that he'd rather die.

😓 DOWNCAST FACE WITH SWEAT — is your oc open-minded or stubborn? are they inquisitive or do they prefer to keep to their bubble of knowledge?

VERY open minded he loves learning new things [: keeps the brain busy. being stubborn would basically be like a death sentence for him. fill the brain with fun new facts to distract himself from the ghosts that are yelling at him almost 24/7. doesnt always work but what can you do

[viewmonster-deactivated20230122]

🌹✂️👑🔫🔧 pick who you want and go to town my friend. smile

(rubbing my hands together evilly) you SHOULDNT have

ok im gonna do a under the cut thing so it doesnt get super long... oc emoji asks are here just so the link is above the cut LOL. ill be randomly generating an oc for each of these ^_^

🌹 ROSE - do they like valentines day? have they been confessed to before? have they confessed to anyone before?

for this one i got kazim! so lets talk about him. i think he would like valentines day because he considers himself something of a romantic... ever since he picked up guitar he's probably fantasized about serenading someone beautifully on valentine's because he is that kind of guy LOL. despite this though i think he has been confessed to before but hes rejected a lot of people because he is very dead set on finding ~The One~... but perhaps maybe one day he will confess to benji instead of being a bit of an idiot about it........

also obligatory valentinos day joke. lol

✂️ SCISSORS - what is the "last straw" for them to cut someone out of their life? how easily do they let go of people?

for this one iiits sun! hmm. i think for sun he's the type of person who tries really really hard to see the good in everybody. it'd probably take someone a reeally long time for them to reach the point at which he'd cut them out of his life completely. this isnt to say that he is against the idea of cutting people out-- he just very rarely does it or wants to do it... i think the final straw would be a sort of "straw that broke the camels back" situation, where hes finally had enough of trying to see the good in somebody, or he'd be urged by someone close to him to cut someone else out as it's probably the best course of action. as a result he's not very good at letting go of people easily. he sees all of his relationships as really important no matter how inconsequential, and he looks back on even the worst of people fondly.

👑 CROWN - what does your oc want to be remembered as? why?

for this one weve got mariam... hm. i think she's unsure as to what she does want to be remembered as, but she knows well that she doesn't want to just be remembered as simply a smart person. for a lot of her life people (especially her family) have rarely looked into her other qualities that arent her intelligence, and despite her being passionate about things that would be considered "smart" she resents purely being represented as someone whos just that and nothing else. i'd say she wants to be remembered more as a caring and passionate person than anything else.

🔫 PISTOL - do they trust people easily? how easily will they turn their back to someone? have they been backstabbed before? will they betray someone if given an ultimatum?

for this question we have valentino! ohoho. valentino is not someone who trusts easily in the slightest. he keeps his guard way up around new people-- being in a business like his its only natural i suppose. anastagio and the rest of la banda di fiori are really the only people who have fully earned his trust, and thats taken a very long time for them. i think its easier for him to betray somebody than it is for him to make friends quite frankly-- the only person hes sure he wouldnt ever betray the trust of is anastagio i think. he is... not a very easily trusting person to put it lightly LOL

🔧 WRENCH - are they good at fixing relationships? or do they tend to avoid doing so?

and last but not least we have connie! i think connie is not someone who notices very much if there is something that needs fixing in a relationship.... which she is trying to get better at because she knows communication is important. in the past, though, she was punished and outright ignored by her parents when she tried to bring up how she wanted to have a better connection with them, which left her unable to develop such skills very well. she obliviously let lots of things slide and has trouble being assertive in the past, but nowadays she works to fix things when they go wrong.

thank you for the ask! enjoy your fucking essay FJKHDGJF