#he's doing it because alec is daring to Question Him and Push Back

[buffyspeak]

“the clave would declare you unfit you unfit for duty, you’d be deruned” ... so if a shadowhunter struggles with severe mental health issues that the silent brothers can’t??? somehow cure?? they get not only declared unfit for duty but deruned? a painful process that? is otherwise used as a punishment for severe crimes?? and that leaves them defenseless against demons that will track and find and kill them because they still have angel blood?? (also as far as i am aware shadowhunters who are deruned are typically not allowed back in institutes so they also get kicked out of their homes!)

[raindancer2004]

Love and Possession

Word Count: 3,403 Felix x reader Oneshot Warnings: Fluff, Angst, Swearing

Possessive prompts for my boy Felix with 4,13,14 also if I could request that it ends fluffy 😅 you are blessing us with all these options ❤️ For @aquanova99​

Felix met his mate by accident when she quite literally stumbled into his life whilst he was on a mission with Demetri. Demetri found it amusing when the Y/C haired girl crossed the secluded car park behind the nomads seeming not to notice five men standing off against each other. Felix got distracted the moment her scent hit him ‘Mate’ was the only thought running through his head. Demetri and Felix made quick work of dealing with the nomads before offering assistance to the girl as her car wouldn’t start.

“Do you need help miss?” Demetri asked approaching first as he looked less physically intimidating than Felix. “Only if you’re able to get my car started” She replied as she backed away a little as Felix slowly approached the two of them. Ten minutes later and Demetri had gotten the car started whilst Felix shamelessly flirted with the girl they now know as Y/N.

After a few months of long-distance dating Y/N moved into the castle to be with Felix and things did not go as she thought they would. Although she made friends with Demetri, Heidi, Corin and the twins, some of the other vampires in the castle seemed to hate her despite never speaking with her, Afton being one of those vampires.

Y/N also noticed how possessive Felix had become, especially since she moved in with him. The only male vampires he trusted around her beside the Kings were Demetri and Alec. So when he saw her to talking and laughing with Santiago and Matt Felix saw red. He ran straight at Matt the second his arm brushed against Y/N’s and punched him so hard in the face a section of it fell to the floor. “What the hell Felix?” Y/N asked shocked “He touched you” Felix growled “No he didn’t” She replied “I saw his arm brush yours not two moments ago” Felix replied and she noticed his eyes darkening a little. Y/N shook her head in disbelieve “So you punched him for that? For something I didn’t even feel?” “HE.TOUCHED.YOU” Felix growled out slowly, his eyes now a dark onyx colour. “Don’t question him Y/N” Santiago said low to her whilst not taking his eyes off Felix.

Felix kept Y/N in their shared room for two days after that incident, something Y/N resented him for. “I’m not a child Felix, I’m your mate and I don’t deserve to be locked away because I was talking to two other guards” “It wasn’t just talking though, was it? Matt touched you…” “BY ACCIDENT” Y/N shouted, cutting him off “DON’T YOU DARE RAISE YOUR VOICE TO ME” He shouted back “I’m an adult and I’ll do as I please. And I can shout at you whenever I like, especially when you shout at me” She replied, standing her ground.

Demetri was in his room which just so happened to be next to Felix’s and was smirking as he heard Y/N stand up to Felix although he was a little concerned of what Felix might do if she pushed him too far.

Felix and Y/N have good days when Felix’s possessive nature seems to be under control and she can move around the castle as much as she’d like, with the exception of ‘tourist day.’ This annoyed a few vampires as they didn’t think it was right that she was still human and that they had to stay away from her as she was not considered food although the secretaries were a ‘grey’ area.

Afton had hated Felix for as long as he could remember and found it amusing that the Volturi’s Executioner was given a human mate by fate. Afton couldn’t believe how much care and attention humans needed “I’m so glad I don’t have a human mate” Afton said to Santiago and Chelsea “I was already a vampire when I found you hunny!” Chelsea replied and Santiago laughed before speaking “Why do you have a problem with human mates?” “Humans need to be fed three times a day and need at least eight hours of sleep a day. Not to mention they need to be outside too or they get depressed, something about vitamin D” Afton responded and Chelsea shook her head at him “I’m so glad I met you after I was immortal, I’d hate to think how you would have been with me otherwise.” “What made you think about human mates?” Santiago asked, curious “I was thinking the other day how funny it is that the big bad Executioner has a human as his mate” Afton replied chuckling.

A few days later Felix returned from a mission to find that Y/N wasn’t in the library or their shared room “D, track Y/N for me” Demetri turned to look at Felix, an eyebrow raised “Please” Felix added and Demetri smiled and nodded “She’s on the roof…” “Thanks” Felix cut him off and began walking away “…With Afton?” Demetri’s voice changed as he questioned why she’d be with him.

Felix started running the moment Demetri mentioned Afton’s name and he took off running to the roof knowing that Felix was likely to kill Afton just being near Y/N. Demetri arrived seconds before Felix as he was faster and the sight before them shocked them both to their very core.

“You know Felix really should’ve turned you sooner, then you wouldn’t be so breakable…a pathetic, breakable little human” Afton had hold of Y/N’s neck and had lifted her up so her feet didn’t touch the floor. She was struggling to breathe as his grip got tighter, tears streamed down her face. Felix growled loudly and Afton just laughed and moved his arm so Y/N was dangling over the edge of the castle roof.

“Afton…” Demetri voice was firm but calm “…Don’t do anything stupid” “Stupid? How is ridding our dear Felix of this…pathetic excuse of a mate stupid?” Afton said mocking Felix. Felix growled at him and tried to work out how he could save his mate before Afton did indeed do something stupid. “He’ll kill you” Demetri replied “I’d like to see him try, I mean if he attacks me, I drop her and she’s dead…I doubt even you could save her before she hits the ground below” Afton countered smirking. Demetri growled this time, his eyes darkening as he moved closer to the edge of the roof just in case. “That’s far enough Demetri” Afton said grinning as shook his arm, moving Y/N side to side in the process.

Y/N’s muffled cries pulled Felix out of his thoughts and that was when he heard Matt’s voice “Come on Afton drop her. I’m curious what kills her first, the fall or the impact of hitting the ground.” Demetri looked over the edge to see Matt standing on the patio below, smiling. Before he could or say anything he heard Felix’s voice, the tone dark and menacing. “I haven’t made a promise in over 1000 years but I’m promising you this, if you harm one hair on their head, I will end you all. And I will do so smiling while I watch you burn” Felix growled at Afton, who thought for a moment before speaking “Ok, I won’t hurt her but…I won’t save her either…” He turned to look at Demetri who was now standing next to the roof’s edge “…That’s your job” With that Afton let her go and she screamed as she fell towards the ground below. Demetri didn’t hesitate, he dived after her and caught her in his arms “I’ve got you” They fell a bit further before he unwrapped one arm from around her and grabbed onto the railing of the balcony and pulled her up until she was able to grab hold of the railing too.

Meanwhile, back on the roof Felix lunged at Afton the second he let Y/N go and threw him against the wall, cracking it in the process. He wrapped his hand around his throat and lifted him off the floor. “If she dies, I’m going rip Chelsea apart slowly and then crush her to dust as you watch” He said low, a dangerous tone to his voice as his hand tightened around Afton’s neck. Afton just smirked at him despite his neck starting to crack under Felix’s large hand. “A-Aro will ne-never let y-you harm Chel-Chelsea” Afton struggled to speak “HE.WON’T.KNOW.ABOUT.IT” Felix growled out slowly.

“Felix, Demetri has her. She’s safe, she’s with him in his room” Alec’s voice called from the roof door “You sure?” “Yes, I’m sure. I was in his room returning a book when I heard a loud noise and a growl from outside. I opened the balcony doors to see Demetri and Y/N holding onto the balcony railing. I helped pull her up onto the balcony” “And Matt?” He asked, not releasing his hold on Afton “Jane went after him and I came to up here to tell you she’s safe” “FOR NOW” Afton growled out, smirking.

After the incident on the roof Felix’s protective nature towards Y/N bordered the line between protective and possessive, something she found smothering and a little scary at times. The man standing in front of her now was the not the same man she had fallen in love with all those months ago. He had killed three of the transitory guards in the space of a month because they had the ‘nerve’ to say hello to Y/N and ask how was after the roof incident. Felix had also started to keep Y/N confined to their room, insisting it was her own good when in reality it was so he could keep her away from other males in the castle.

“If Felix is still keeping you locked away in your room and treating you like you’re the one in the wrong, why are you still with him? You clearly aren’t happy” Gianna asked “He may not be perfect but he’s my mate and I choose him. I love him and I know he loves me” Y/N replied “Ok then. Let’s hope things get better” Gianna said with a smile.

Things didn’t get better between Y/N and Felix and she started feeling ‘trapped.’ She wasn’t allowed to talk to any of the male vampires that weren’t the Kings, Demetri or Alec and if he caught a male vampire near her, he’d start a fight with him that always ending in them missing limbs. After those fights, Y/N had to endure the rant that followed and that always resulted in her being told she wasn’t allowed out of her room for the next few days. Y/N found herself becoming scared of Felix and to be around Felix.

Felix had left the castle with Demetri and the twins for a week-long mission and Y/N found herself thinking about her mate, and their relationship and made a decision that she hoped she wouldn’t regret. She picked up her passport and some cash from her closet and made her way out of the castle. Noone stopped her as it wasn’t unusual for Y/N to leave the castle on shopping trips and the fact that it was ‘tour’ day helped too.

She had made it out of Volterra when she ran into a problem, Demetri stood on the other side of the road looking at her. She pleaded with him with her eyes alone and although part of him understood why she wanted to leave, he couldn’t let her. He crossed the road, his voice soft as he approached “There you are darling” He gently wrapped his arms around her in a hug “Please don’t make a scene. Come home with me” He whispered “Does-does he know?” She whispered back “Probably, seeing as he and the twins continued onto the castle. I told them I had picked up a tenor of someone I needed to talk to and came to get you” He replied as he took her small warm hand in his larger cold one. “Will he be angry?” “Do you really need to ask? You’re his mate” Demetri looked down at her and gave her a little smile. 

They arrived back at the castle and Y/N expected to see Felix waiting for them at the entrance but he wasn’t there. “He’s in your shared room, waiting for you” Demetri told her “How did…” “Your heartbeat increased as we entered” He replied and she nodded “Of course.”

Demetri didn’t let go of her hand until they reached the door to Felix and Y/N’s room “Look who I found out in the city getting some fresh air” Demetri said smiling as they entered the room “Good trip Fe?” Y/N asked as she crossed the room to him. Felix nodded at Demetri, who stepped back into the hallway, closing the door behind him.

“Oh, Y/N. Such a naïve little one. You really thought you did something here, didn’t you? Thinking you could leave me like this? Oh, dolcezza…think again” Felix’s ruby eyes had darkened due to his mood “What did you expect? Afton tried to kill me because of his hatred towards YOU! I’m supposed to be safe in my home and I don’t feel safe here. If I’m not going to be safe here, I don’t want to be here anymore” Felix noticed the tears building in the corner of her eyes and his gaze softened slightly “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. You’re mine to love and protect. Always” Felix said and pulled her into his arms, holding her close “Then love me and protect me but don’t behave the way you have been as you scare me and have made me question if being with you is worth all this” Her reply low but honest. Felix was shocked to hear that his mate, the one true love of his life was scared of him and was questioning their relationship. He said nothing as he tightened his hold on her and kissed the top of her head, making a mental note to thank Demetri for bringing her back to him.

Felix noticed that Y/N was pulling away from him despite his promise to change his behaviour so he didn’t scare her. “I can’t lose her D. What do I do?” “I don’t know Fe, but I agree with her. She needs to feel safe here, whether you’re here or not. If you can’t protect her then what chance do the rest of us vamps have if our mates are human when we meet them?” Demetri replied, looking serious “If she leaves me D, she won’t come back” “I know Fe. You need to do better by her but for god’s sake don’t scare her.” Felix didn’t reply, he just sat there thinking. “I mean I did my bit Fe, I jumped off the roof to save her, risking my own life in the process” Demetri added “Oh poor you. At least we could have put you back together again had you hit the ground, Y/N wouldn’t have been that lucky” Felix replied, a hint of sass to his voice. “Did you just compare me to Humpty fucking Dumpty?” Demetri asked indignant “Maybe” Felix smirked “Prick” Demetri mumbled in response.

Chelsea, Santiago and Corin were in the family room when Felix entered “Ah just the vampires I’m looking for” Felix said as he entered the room and the three vampires looked up “How can we help you?” Chelsea asked “I need help. I need Y/N to be happy here…happy with me” Chelsea and Corin nodded in understanding “My gift won’t have much effect as the two of you are mates, I’m sorry” Chelsea explains softly. “Why do you keep the human around? She’s become distant with you and she has tried to leave you recently. You could choose someone else to spend forever with” Santiago asked Felix “She only tried to run from me because Afton tried to kill her but I will turn her and then she’s bound to me forever in every way that matters” Felix replied “I hope it works Felix” He replied. “I can help you, I can make her content, happy even with being here with you” Corin said with a smile “That would be good, I’m hoping after I turn her, she’ll be happy with me as she will feel the mate bond as strongly as I do now” Felix replied. “All we can do is hope that things will work out in the end. After all she was genuinely happy here once” Chelsea responded.

Chelsea was surprising civil, nice even to Y/N and Felix despite Afton being held and starved in the Volturi dungeon for three months “One more incident and I’ll end you myself” Caius warned him as he unlocked the cell he was in, before turning his attention to Chelsea and continuing “Being your mate won’t protect him anymore. He is useless and quite frankly I am beyond fed up with him” “I understand master” She replied with a nod of her head, knowing her mate was on his last chance. 

A few days later Corin came to see Y/N telling her she wanted to catch up with her, which was only half true as she was there to help Y/N with her feelings towards Felix and being in the castle. Y/N knew something was off about Corin’s visit about half an hour after she arrived. “Don’t do that Corin, I thought we were friends” “Do what?” Corin asked feigning innocence “Don’t play dumb either, it’s not a good look for you” Corin nods at Y/N “Sorry, Felix is just worried that he’s losing you, that you’re not happy here anymore” “Look I love Felix more than anything and I always will but love isn’t always sunshine and rainbows, it’s tough. Real love takes work and both parties have to put in the effort in. I can’t help being scared of him when he’s in one of his moods. I’m human, I don’t stand a chance against him or anyone else here. Come on Corin and be honest with me, would you feel happy and safe after being thrown off the castle roof?” “No I wouldn’t. I’d probably feel as you do” She replied honestly “Then don’t come into my room and manipulate my feelings. I don’t deserve that” Corin understood where Y/N was coming from and apologised “I’m sorry. I was just trying to help my friends” “Then be a shoulder to cry on, someone to confide in, someone to give advice when needed. That is being a friend” Y/N replied and Corin nodded again, wrapping her arms around Y/N in a hug “I’m sorry.”

Felix returned to his and Y/N’s shared room to find Y/N sitting on the sofa reading. “How are you feeling?” He asked as he hung up his cloak “How should I be feeling, hmm? Happy, content, totally in love with you or all of the above?” Y/N’s reply shocking Felix “Yes, Corin popped by but didn’t do what you asked her to. She didn’t alter my feelings about being here or for you” She added. Felix struggled to respond “Y/N…I-I did-didn’t mean…” “Didn’t mean to ignore my feelings, didn’t mean not to deal with the situation and ensure that I feel safe?” “Y/N…I…” “I was thrown off the roof and caught by Demetri all because Afton hates you and yet you treat me like I’m the problem. Corin understands and has agreed that she would feel exactly like I do, had it been her in that situation” “I-I’m sorry. I was just trying to make you feel better” “Well don’t! I don’t like the way you tried to manipulate me. That isn’t fair and I would never do that to you” She replied, her voice thick with emotion. Felix stepped forward and took her into his arms “I love you so much and I just want you to feel safe in our home. I will love and protect you forever, no matter what.” He kissed her hair and tightened his hold on her. 

A few minutes later, Y/N’s soft voice filled the room “Come on let’s cuddle in bed” “Yes, lets. You don’t have many nights left as a human” Felix replied “I know and it’s exciting and I fully intend to get back at Afton for his little stunt” “I would expect nothing less from my little newborn” He replied before capturing her lips in a loving kiss.

[like-rain-or-confetti]

Talking about yandere, what about the guards and romanians?

So here's something frightening. A lot of yandere stories threat death or their is an accidental death. This is worse because I don't think any of them would kill you. I think they'd make you wish you were dead- that's how suffocating they can be.

I'd also like to point out that I think yandere characteristics come out of vampires by instinct. Some can grow very attached and protective of those they turn or their mates.

Yandere Volturi Guards

Alec: There isn't much difference to regular Alec 😂 He needs to have his own way to function. He needs to know everything about you at every given moment. No one can get too close to you unless someone wants a violent tantrum. There is a lot more possessiveness around you. "My (Y/N)" "My mate" He borderlines talking about you like your an object. Although so what if you aren't, that doesn't make you any less his. He will have control over you. Now don't think this includes being sexual, he won't force you to do anything that you don't want to in that sense. Although if you don't want to go somewhere but he wants you to. If you want an easy life, you will do it. He's kind of frightening. He can be cold and distant which scares you because you think you've done something wrong and you'll have hell to pay but then the next second, he's so clingy and has you locked in his grip to the point he's almost suffocating, even for a vampire.

Jane: You have basically no free will. She'll speak for you. She'll tell you where you can and can't go. She'll tell you when you can do that too. You have to stay with her at all times unless she's on duty. When she's on duty, you are out of sight so that you can't be on anyone's mind. She makes a big deal on trust, one tiny slip up or you haven't done something the exact way she intended, even if she got the desired outcome- she can't trust you. You delayed when coming back to her? She doesn't care if the receptionist asked you a question- you shouldn't even be acknowledging her. She clearly can't trust you. It is always you doing something wrong. It takes time for her to allow you around Alec. You're her mate but better yet, Alec is her brother. You two interact if she allows it and if she thinks for a second that you're getting a little too comfortable with her brother, you will be locked away and won't see the light of day again until she's satisfied nothing was beginning to happen. This doesn't have to mean you falling for Alec. In fact, that isn't the primary concern. It actually means you focusing your attention from her to him. Hoping to even befriend him or have a pleasant conversation when she isn't there. If she leaves you with Alec, it's for your supervision. She can trust Alec to supervise you. That is why you're given to him when she can't be there. It's why you're alone when both twins are on duty. 👀

Demetri: It's easy for him to know you're every move. That's why you can't go anywhere unless he allows it. He gets icy cold and angry when you disobey him. When you challenge him, he'll lowly warn you not to. However when you behave, he's so incredibly warm and sweet to you when alone. He'll shower you in seemingly endless sweet nothings. It's hard to remember that this is pure manipulation. Even though he means every words of it. It's perfectly timed to reward you for good behaviour. He keeps a close eye on who you talk to. He trusts you, you wouldn't dare betray him. The thing that scares him most is actually the door. If you're dangerously close to it, he'll beckon you to him with a low command to come to him. If you don't or you hesitate, his eyes will narrow and harden, giving you an cold restrained command to come to him. If you even so much as break eye contact, he'll lunge. He'll carry you away from the doors silently before you get the nastiest Demetri you'd ever seen in your life. You can't touch him, you can't say anything whilst unleashes a deadly anger. He doesn't understand why you have to make him do this. He doesn't understand why you can't just come to him. He's always so nice to you and you can't just follow a simple command. He does this because he loves you, (Y/N). He wants to protect you and if you don't comply then you'll make him do something he really doesn't want to do. 😶

Felix: This man can and will overpower you. He will insist he's doing it for your safety but you know that, sometimes, there is no threat. Felix is simply creating one in his head. He always uses his strength against you. Whether it's to pin you down when you're acting out against him or lifting you into another room because that's where he wants you. However his is less obvious because he still has that lovable goofy side to him. Sure you can't leave the castle with Heidi tonight but Felix made up for it since the two of you are having a great time goofing around. 🙃

Yandere Romanians

Vladimir: Yeah, you can't leave 🤭. He will use manipulation, anger and control. You can't even look at a door. To challenge him is to challenge his love for you- your bond. He does what he does because he loves you and he refuses to lose another mate. To keep Vladimir in a happy mood, just...don't challenge him.

Stefan: Another who won't let you leave. He'll manipulate you with a smile and control everything you do. He's not as quick to anger but keep pushing and is anger will be there like a flick of a switch. He loves you, isn't that enough? Why do you insist on fighting him? He can't handle another loss. He does this because he loves you.

[sharkdream3421]

Different - Turian Ryder X Sara Ryder

This poor Turian boy! Love him with all my heart!

Summary: Scott reflects how being a Turian has affected his life of being a Ryder.

Warning: Swearing, and Violence.

Word Count: 1266

“What is that monster doing here in our house?! Get it out of here this instant!” Alec Ryder harshly shouted and pointed to the baby Turian in his wife’s arms.

“No Alec! He is staying here and is going to be our new son!” Mrs. Ryder replied.

“Those monsters killed my friends during the First Contact War! Besides I told you to get a human child not a Turian!” Alec explained still furious over his wife’s stupidity.

”You need to get over there deaths Alec! I couldn’t just leave this poor child in the rain he needs someone to take care of him!”

Alec grumbled, “FINE! But I’m not taking care of it!”

“Mommy, Daddy what’s going on?” A little girl had said.

Sara Ryder stood by the kitchen doorway, rubbing her eyes with a small plushie in her hand.

“Nothing’s wrong Sara, why are you up? It’s getting late shouldn’t you be in bed?” Mrs. Ryder said to her daughter.

“Sorry it’s just that your both loud.” Sara replied.

“Come on let’s go back to bed, but before you do. Look here’s your new baby brother!”

Sara looked to find a small Turian, with a tan skin color. He was wrapped in a small blanket.

“He looks kind of strange Mommy?” Sara questioned.

“He’s from a different race Honey, but that doesn’t matter to us. He will be part of the family now. What should we call him Sara?” Mrs. Ryder said rocking the baby back and forth gently in her arms.

“Oh I know, I know! Scott! I’ve always wanted to have a brother named Scott!” Sara happily told her mother.

Mrs. Ryder chuckled as she looked down at the baby, “That’s a good name. Welcome home Scott Ryder.”

~~~~

Scott was pushed into the citadel's school building. He dropped down from the wall to the ground.

The school bully who turned out to be a Turian. Picked Scott up by his shirt.

"You really think you're one of us just because your a Turian? You were a fool to think that you could be one of us. You know nothing about our culture, our language, and you even have a human name!" The school bully shouted as he rammed him against the side of the building.

Scott fell down with tears coming from his eyes. No one saved Scott, everyone was afraid of the school bully. Except Scott's sister.

Sara marched up to the bully and hit him in the mandible. Turian skin was pretty rough, but enough force could cause skin to bleed.

"You little bitch!" The bully loudly cursed.

The principal who was a Salarian finally came out of his office to access the situation as a C-Sec officer put both the bully and Sara in handcuffs.

No one helped Scott Ryder up from the ground that day. He had to use his own strength to get up. No one helped him.

~~~~

"Sara what were you thinking?!" Mrs. Ryder shouted at her daughter.

She was giving Sara a lecture how hitting people was wrong.

"But he hurt Scott, all because he wanted to be like the other kids! He threw him against the wall!" Sara defended.

Mrs. Ryder was pissed. No one would dare to mess with her children not even a school bully.

Mrs. Ryder sighed deeply as she sat down in a chair, "I'll admit what that boy did was not okay. But that doesn't give you the right to hit someone. You could have gone to a chaperone."

Sara glared at her mother, "What is a chaperone going to do?! Their going to try to avoid the fight if anything. Words aren't going to cut it against some people! What should have I done? Just let him hurt Scott?!"

Mrs. Ryder was going to yell at her once again, but restrained herself. She put a hand on her face as she sighed.

"No, you shouldn't have let him hurt Scott. You did defend your brother, and the bully will be suspended. Just...try to be smarter about a confrontation next time. Okay Sara?" Mrs. Ryder explained.

Sara nodded sadly, "Okay, I'm sorry Mommy."

Their conversation was interrupted by a Turian child crying with many tears coming out of his eyes.

"Mommy, I-I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have talked to them. I'll never be like the other kids. It's all my fault!" Scott sobbed.

Mrs. Ryder picked up her son and kissed his fringe.

"Don't blame yourself for something that you had no control over Scott. I wish the other kids could accept you Honey, just for now stick around with your sister okay?"

The Turian child nodded as he gave his Mom a hug.

Society never accepted him, neither Turians or Humans.

~~~~

Scott sat in his quarters on the Tempest. He laid down on his bed as he raised his arm up to look at his hand. His three talons, were covered by a glove that he wore on his outfit. Turian's talons were pretty sharp and could cut through skin like a saw if they weren't careful enough.

"Why did Dad save me? He hated me." Scott pondered.

"Hey little brother!" Sara Ryder happily exclaimed as she came into his cabin.

Scott leaned up and scooted to the edge of the bed, "Sara, what are you doing here?"

"Just checking on how my brother's doing." Sara replied smiling.

Scott looked down at the floor going back to his deep thoughts about his father and his past life once again.

"Something's wrong isn't there?" Sara said as she put a hand on Scott's elbow.

He looked up at her shocked.

"How did you know?" He asked.

"Come on, I've known you my whole life. I know when you're feeling frustrated."

Scott put his talons on his face in frustration. "I miss Mom, so much and Dad. I'm...I'm so lost. Being the pathfinder 24/7 is so difficult, I'm still trying to get past Mom and Dad's death. Which, there is one thing that's been bugging me. Why did Dad sacrifice himself for me? Did he do it just to get back at me through my childhood years?"

Sara moved closer towards Scott, "Scott, I know that Dad was very...rude back then. Although, I've noticed that he's been trying to change ever since we got on the ark. I think he sacrificed himself for you because he finally understood Mom's intentions and why she loved you so much."

Scott scoffed, "He probably just did it because I was going to be the next pathfinder eventually or something like that."

Sara sighed as she put her hand on Scott's leg. "Scott, look at me."

He refused.

"Scott please."

Scott slowly looked at her with sadness in his eyes. "I think Dad finally moved on from the past and wanted to fix things between you two. He sacrificed himself so he could make up for the things that he'd done to you."

Scott's mandibles clicked in realization. He knew Sara was probably right. He started to cry as he put his talons on his face.

Sara looked at her brother sadly. She rubbed the back of his carapace gently feeling the fabric of his jacket slide across her skin.

"It's okay Scott, just calm down." Sara said.

"Sara...I...I feel like a burden on everyone. You, Mom, Dad, Society, and everyone else on this team." Scott said with tears in eyes.

Sara hugged his brother as Scott hugged her back.

"I promise you Scott. Your not a burden on anyone. We love you so much and I bet everyone on your crew cares about you too. Also, who cares about what society thinks they are just a bunch of assholes." Sara scoffed.

Scott chuckled, his mandibles spreading out slightly. "Nothing scares you Sara, doesn't it."

Sara smiled, "Not even your boogers scared me Scott."

"Ewww!! Please don't remind me about that!" Scott shouted waving his arms around in a small panic.

Sara cracked up, "Come on Scott, I'm just teasing!"

Masterlist

[mollymauk-teafleak]

I can see in your face that you mean it

Guess whose back. Back again.

Yeah I had a bad anxiety day so dived back into some old comfort media and decided to finish off a fic I started back in my intital Nightrunners obsession phase.

It's fluff and smut and emotions and if you like it, please consider leaving a comment over on Ao3!

-------------

Oh Aura, he’s beautiful.

Seregil would have thought, hoped maybe, that after months of pining after Alec and everything they’d been through, after finally getting him into bed and opening his heart in a way he’d never done before, he’d be done with this. That there wouldn’t be moments when his lover’s eyes caught the morning light or he grinned in that way that showed the slight gap in his front teeth or he’d feel his soft hair run through his fingers and Seregil’s heart would drop like he was half a child again and didn’t recognise the taste of love. And in his mind he’d just sigh he’s beautiful.

Except now he got to feel the second heart throbbing behind his own with it’s own silly, dizzy, free falling love and Seregil would get to follow it with and he’s mine.

Five days since their first together and none had been exactly like any other. Each one had been unique as Alec’s confidence grew and he began to ask for more, push further, move into the spaces Seregil left for him. He was as quick a learner as he’d ever been though Seregil couldn’t remember ever being quite so delighted by it. Maybe as he’d watched him learn his letters and read his first books while delight dawned in his eyes, perhaps that would come a fairly close second.

But when he closed the door to their Watermead room behind him and flicked the lock across with a reassuringly heavy metallic thunk, turning to see Alec already sprawled naked across the bed, Seregil thought maybe it wasn’t that close at all. Because what could compare to this?

Gods above, he’s beautiful.

“Come on,” Alec stretched out a hand to him playfully, a needy whine in his voice that may have been part of the game and may not have been, “I’ve been waiting for ages, how long does ‘one last cup of beer’ take?”

“When it’s as good as Kari’s? Quite a while,” Seregil smirked with amusement, coming over and catching Alec’s hand in his own, “And besides, I was trying to make it slightly less obvious what we would be doing. Trying to save what little of your modesty was left after you tore up the stairs as soon as dinner was done.”

Alec blushed a little but not as much as he might have done a few nights ago, “Everyone in the house already knows...and besides, you promised me something new.”

“That I did, talí,” Seregil raised Alec’s knuckles to his lips, “I would add that it’s only if you're willing but judging by how you tripped rushing up here- everyone saw that, by the way- you’re more than willing.”

His cheeks now the bright cherry colour Seregil knew and loved, Alec shivered, “You said perhaps we could go a little further…”

Seregil nipped at the inside of his wrist before letting go so he could make short work of his own clothes. Wearing any scrap of material while his lover was so pleasingly naked was unbearable. As he did, Alec rolled onto his back, stretching like a contented cat as if to make absolutely sure there was no possible inch of him he hadn’t seen. They’d been repairing and painting fences that day, there were still scrapes on Alec’s palms and knees from their work, white wash on his hairline he’d missed as he’d scrubbed off the marks from their duelling with paintbrushes. Little imperfections, lingering traces of the time they’d spent together, like a map Seregil was eager to follow.

Gods, he’s just so beautiful.

Twice in one night, what was happening to him?

Now undressed, Seregil nudged Alec’s legs open enough that he could kneel on the bed between them, “Not so much further, my talí, I won’t be asking a lot of you. I just...well, offering you some more of me?”

Alec’s eyes widened at the edges, as he gazed up at Seregil, “Oh. Like, um...like the tavern board?”

Seregil grinned, he really owed some of his green lantern friends a drink if they were ever back in Rhíminee, “Well, not quite as athletic as all that. And strictly just the two of us. But in essence? In mechanics? Yes.”

There was a soft inhalation, a flush creeping down Alec’s neck, “So...me...me in you?” Just saying the words sent the flush bleeding down across his collarbone.

“That is the way I’m used to doing things though I’d certainly be interested in covering all of our options, as it were,” Seregil tilted his head playfully, “Another night. For now, I thought this would be a little less daunting.”

Alec’s teeth snagged his lower lip, his clever mind clearly working behind his bright eyes as they slid down the length of Seregil’s body. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t rather smug at the look of hunger and want that swiftly gathered in them.

“I’m willing to try,” Alec murmured eventually, his smile coming back quick and coy and daring, “As long as you promise I won’t be hurting you.”

Seregil raised an eyebrow and let his own eyes wander shamelessly, focusing between Alec’s open legs, “Well...it’s your rather superior equipment against my experience, isn’t it?”

“Oh hush!” Alec snorted, kicking out at him lightly, “I’m serious!”

Laughing, Seregil caught him by the ankle, pressing kisses along the inside of his leg, “I promise I’ll tell you if I need you to slow down or hold still. Communication, yes? Just like we talked about.”

Alec nodded, melting into the touch, growing pliant and supple. He knew this, he’d grown pleasantly familiar with such attentions to Seregil’s joy. And where his lover’s limited experience ended, Seregil could take his hand and lead him.

So he took his time, devotedly ensuring Alec was boneless and purring contentedly, soft and relaxed everywhere but between the legs. Only then did he pull back and go for his pack, left carefully within reach just over the edge of the bed. He drew back, holding a small bottle of oil made in red glass and shaped rather fancifully into a heart, stoppered with black wax.

“What’s that?” Alec asked, now watching every one of his movements very carefully.

“Ah,” Seregil slipped easily into his instructing voice, naturally holding the same tone he would if he were introducing Alex to a new type of lock, “When people make love in this fashion, a little extra help is required to allow things to move easily. That’s what this oil is for. Very important, particularly from my perspective.”

“Oh, to his credit, Alec was blushing less ferociously each time, “And, um...what do you do with it?”

Seregil smiled indulgently, eyes sparkling, “Why don’t I show you, talí?”

He opened the stopper with his teeth, holding the bottle at a height so Alec could watch it ooze thickly onto his fingertips. In the low candlelight, it shone like glass fresh drawn from a blower’s oven, it moved like honey.

Immediately, Alec sniffed, eyes brightening, “It smells nice...what is that?”

Seregil chuckled, tilting the bottle back to stem the flow once he judged he had enough, “You’re not getting away that easily. You tell me.”

“I thought we were making love, not a lesson,” Alec wrinkled his nose but he wasn’t one to miss a chance for praise, “Um...roses. Vanilla. Oh, those yellow flowers that grow in the Oreska House park, I can’t remember their name…”

“Ylang,” Seregil supplied, beaming proudly, “Well done, my love. This is the finest stuff from the Street of Lights so it’s scented. I expect we’ll have some leaner times in the future but fortunately there are a lot of other cheaper options that work just as well.”

He worked as he spoke, working the oil between his thumb and fingers, warming it a little. In moments, the air was filled with that rich, floral smell, the kind of scent you could get drunk on. Alec inhaled deeply, watching closely so he didn’t miss a moment of what Seregil was doing.

“And that stuff goes where exactly?” he breathed, curiosity and lust making him a little impatient.

“Plenty on your cock before it comes anywhere near me,” Seregil hummed, “You may think I’m flattering you, talí, but I’m perfectly serious. You’re one of the more...physically gifted lovers I’ve had.”

“One of?” Alec muttered as Seregil shifted, lazily stretching out onto his back then propping himself up on one elbow, stretching his legs out across his lover’s. Alec took immediate advantage, running his hands up Seregil’s calves, enjoying the play of muscle there.

Seregil either didn’t hear or chose not to hear, continuing, “But first my body needs some preparation. Other times this can be your task, if you like, but for tonight...just watch and learn.”

Alec nodded hard, his attention now fully caught on Seregil’s hand, two fingers shining with the oil, and it’s path down between his open legs. He’d spent the last five nights exploring every inch of his faie’s body but he still felt a slight shiver when he was allowed to see these most intimate parts of him, when he was allowed to feel some sense of ownership of them. Five nights was not nearly long enough that Alec’s pupils didn’t widen, his breath didn’t quicken, his mouth didn’t dry at the sight of Seregil sinking first one finger into himself, then two. He wasn’t sure an entire lifetime would be enough.

“Gods…” he murmured, apparently unconscious of the naked awe on his face, “And that...that feels good?”

Seregil rather thought his rapidly hardening prick answered that question but he was charmed nonetheless, “Yes. There’s a spot a little deeper, hold on...ah, there, right there...not strictly the point of this but gods, yes, it feels good.”

His voice grew more strained and breathy as he brushed his sweet spot, as he coaxed his muscles into slackening, scissoring his fingers and chuckling at the expression that put on Alec’s face as he watched, enraptured and practically salivating. He’d started leaning forward, apparently not realising that he was now sat right up off the bolsters.

“That’ll do,” Seregil eventually sighed, drawing his fingers back, “If it were you, I’d give you a little more but I rather like when it has a bit of bite to it.”

“Now me,” Alec reached for the oil, still in Seregil’s other hand, clearly eager to progress.

But Seregil sat up quick, holding the red vial just out of reach with an amused smirk, “Ah ah. Sit back, talí.”

Alec swallowed hand but did as he was bid, hands flitting to his chest where they waited like anxious birds. He watched, wide eyed and breath coming in snatches, as Seregil poured oil on his trembling erection from a few inches above, giving a strangled moan as the cool liquid met his burning skin.

“I want to make the most of this,” Seregil purred, “The first time I get to have you share my body...I won’t rush this, talí.”

Alec’s youth flashed through for a moment as he stuck his tongue out but then fell quiet as Seregil’s fingers caught the oil dripping down the side of his cock, working the slick across the flesh. Both of them seemed to realise the importance this night had taken, maybe feeling it in the talímenios bond humming with love and need between them. They would have hundreds of nights together over their long lives, they would know each other in so many ways, but everything would have a one and only first. And that was cause to hold your breath, bare your heart and pay attention.

Seregil kept his attentions brief and light, remembering that Alec had the stamina of someone very new to sex. He stopped as soon as his lover’s cock was shining in the rapidly dimming glow of their bedside candle.

“How…” Alec murmured, pupils now wide enough that little of their blue colour could be seen.

Seregil smiled indulgently, “You lie back, talí. It’ll let me set the pace of things and I want to see your beautiful face.”

That made Alec chuckle as he slid completely onto his back, making room for Seregil to mount him, to bracket his hips with his knees. He didn’t sink down just yet, taking a moment to admire his young lover’s face, the anticipation and surprise at a new, unfamiliar desire. Seregil lightly touched Alec’s cheek and, there again, that thought.

Oh Aura, he’s beautiful. How can he be so beautiful and not know? How can he be so beautiful and be mine?

Alec just smiled, turning his head slightly and kissing the tips of Seregil’s fingers, tasting rose and vanilla. Either the thought hadn’t made it across the talímenios bond in its entirety or Alec had simply heard, he’d glimpsed the insecurity that lay not all that deep beneath Seregil’s crooked smile and had swept it into the pile of things he loved about him without a second thought. Like it could be so easy.

“I love you,” the words were rawer than he’d intended, bursting from his chest like a bird fleeing through a bent bar in its cage. He’d said it before and he’d meant it but this time it came from the very soul of him.

And Alec smiled, bright as sunlight, meaning it just as much but finding it so much easier, “I love you too, Seregil.”

Dark strands of hair falling in his face, Seregil had no answer to that but to reach back and take Alec’s cock in his hand, guiding him inside him as he slowly sank down. Any more words and he felt he might explode. But this he could do, he could give Alec his body and gladly.

Alec gave a strained moan as soon as the head of him pushed past the tight ring, face tensing, “Gods...oh gods, Seregil…”

Seregil took a deep, slow breath, allowing and not forcing his body to stretch to accommodate Alec. There was pain, just an edge to it, the kind he had always loved about this act. Eventually, inch by inch, he took him down to the hilt, shifting both hands to brace on Alec’s chest.

“You’re so tight, fuck…”

Seregil gave a trembling, breathy laugh, tilting his head back, “Just give me a moment, talí…”

Alec held obediently still, even as a low moan echoed through his chest. His blonde hair fanned about the sheets like a sunburst, his jaw clenched tight, his eyes fixed on Seregil’s face with such devotion. He looked almost godlike, something to be worshipped.

Finally, Seregil felt ready, moving his hips slowly and then gradually faster. Each time, Alec pressed against his sweet spot, direct and undeniable, pulling a high gasp from him at the peak. Eventually he felt his talímenios move too, angling his hips to meet Seregil’s movements, near lifting him clear off the bed. He could only express his approval in a broken, wanton cry, drawing his nails down Alec’s chest.

“Oh talí, my talí,” he gasped, high and wild, falling forward so his hair fell in a waterfall about them, pulling him into a desperate kiss that was lavishly returned. He bucked wildly now, body instinctively seeking release.

“Seregil…” Alec keened into his open mouth, “Fuck, I...I can’t…”

“Let go,” Seregil gasped, pressing their foreheads together, “I’ve got you, it’s alright.”

“I...Seregil...fuck,” he near screamed the last few words, whole body snapping taught and rigid, hands flying up to seize his lover’s hips hard enough to bruise, holding him in place as he flooded him with heat.

Seregil cursed in Aurënfaie as he fell, bare seconds behind, painting Alec’s chest and chin in spatters of white. Not just their bodies but their bond thrummed as if set alight, pleasure almost painful to hold like you weren’t sure your body could hold it. But finally, just at the point where it would become too much, it peaked and both men were left panting and shaking.

Somewhere in it all the candles had finally guttered, Alec and Seregil coming back to their own minds in darkness. Outside, an owl called out a sweet, lowing song.

Alec moved, catching their lips together again, kissing him now gently and sweetly. Sergeil was helpless in his hands and his tenderness, feeling small and soft and safe above all.

“That was...gods, that was incredible,” Alec eventually murmured, his voice raspy and fractured, “What in the name of the gods was I doing for a year when we could have been doing this?”

Seregil laughed, feeling Alec soften and slip out of him, letting him fully sprawl across his lover and fully give in to his exhaustion.

“We have hundreds of years to make up for it, my sweet. Don’t you worry.”

Alec sighed happily, that thought giving him so much comfort as he threw a leg over Seregil to press him closer, “I don’t know how you do it. How you make me feel so brave so I can do things I never thought I could.”

Seregil pressed a kiss to the underside of his jaw, “I don’t make you brave, talí. I just remind you that you are.”

Alec sounded like he wanted to argue but was too tired, just embracing Seregil all the tighter, “Do we need to bathe now? After all that?”

“We should,” Seregil admitted, sighing and forcing himself to roll onto his back, “Especially me. You’re running down the backs of my legs…”

Alec wrinkled his nose and groaned, throwing his arms over his eyes as Seregil made himself stand, “Why is making love so messy when it's two men?”

Seregil looked over his shoulder, intending to make some wry comment but it died on his tongue. Alec had let his arms drop, revealing his face. Edged in what moonlight could creep past the curtains, his face flushed from exertion, gloriously naked and open and honest. Smelling of roses and sex, conquered and triumphant. Everything Seregil had told himself he didn’t deserve and yet here it was.

“What?” Alec was looking back at him, a soft smile playing on his lips, “You keep staring at me.”

Seregil inclined his head, padding back over to the bed and kissing him again just because he couldn’t imagine doing anything else at that moment. When he was done, he drew back just enough that he could see his lover’s face, knowing Alec could feel his love just behind his own heart.

“You’re just so beautiful.”

[bytheangell]

Hi!! I loved a lot your last Gabrily fic, and if you are still open to requests can I suggest one about them finding out they were having another kid so long after the other two? Baby Alexander barely gets mentioned eventhough he is the person Alec is named after, maybe at some point he did something great who know. I always find it curious how they reactions could have been to have another one so long after Christopher.. Ofc if this sits right with you and feel like it, thank uu

Breaking the News  (Read on AO3)

Cecily is thankful that Will and Tessa agreed to take Anna and Christopher to stay with them for the remainder of the day. Her thoughts bounce wildly from nervous to excited to total panic and everything in-between as she paces back and forth across the bedroom floor. Alone in the house until Gabriel arrives home in a few short hours, she wanted the time to come to terms with the news she got that morning and sort through her thoughts. Now that she has the time, she can’t sort through anything at all.

It doesn’t help that she’s been sick. That was the first hint that something was wrong, she suspected what may be the cause of her sudden recurring nausea and weakness, though she hardly dared to believe it. After spending the better part of the past week exhausted and obviously ill, Anna brought one of the Institute’s healers around to check on her, which was when they confirmed what she already partially guessed.

Except now that Cecily knows for certain that she’s pregnant with her third child, it’s quite the shock to process, with or without the distractions of two other children in the house.

She knows her initial doubts are mostly from the surprise of it all. Cecily likes being in control, and this is something she has no control over. This is happening, whether she wants it to or not, and even though she knows it’s a blessing the fact that she didn’t specifically choose to do this here and now throws her entire sense of being off-balance, enough for doubt to creep in. What if it isn’t just shock?

But that’s absurd. She loves her children, and she loved - and still loves - every moment of raising them. The chance to do all of that again is, while still a shock, a happy one. At least, it will be once she manages to get back in control of her racing thoughts and emotions.

Anna and Christopher are both teenagers now, sixteen and thirteen respectfully, and that fact isn’t lost on her. A new baby means 24/7 attention, days of constant needs and care that she thought were behind her. What if she thinks she can handle it but once the child is here she grows too overwhelmed tending to a newborn and two teenagers? Realizations like this are when the fear kicks in - she’s 37 years old, after all, and Gabriel 40.

Gabriel. What if he thinks them both too old to have a baby now? What if he hates the idea? It’s another reason she asked her brother to take the children - this is a conversation she wants them to have complete privacy for, just in case…

...just in case what?, she chides herself. This is Gabriel, after all. She remembers the years they spent together figuring out how to be parents to two wildly different children, remembers how good he was - and still is - with each of them, and how he’s never shown them anything other than unwavering love and devotion. This won’t be any different, she reminds herself, pushing the fear aside and allowing the nervous excitement to take over again.

She remembers the joy of raising Christopher and Anna, of watching them grow and learn and take their first steps and get their first runes… the joy of little moments and milestones she thought were long over for her. Anna is always so good with her brother, and Cecily can already imagine how wonderful Christopher will be as an older sibling, always so eager to teach others about his experiments. He could teach so much to a little brother or sister.

Cecily can only hope they’re as eager to have another sibling as she is to give them one.

Nervous. Excited. Fearful. Happy. Concerned. Eager. Her emotions shift and change more rapidly than she can keep up with until, finally, they settle along with her thoughts into one: contentment. This is happening, whether she’s ready for it to or not, and she’ll be damned if she isn’t going to make the absolute best of it.

When Gabriel finally arrives home he finds her in their bedroom, pacing as she’s been doing off-and-on for hours now as she tries to work out the best way to break the news.

“Cecily?” he greets her, voice uncertain. He’s been away in Idris but came back earlier than planned after hearing she hasn’t been feeling well. “Is everything alright? Shouldn’t you be resting?”

Gabriel takes a few steps into the room and reaches a hand out to still her anxious movements, resting it gently on her shoulder.

Cecily stops pacing and forces a small smile onto her face. “There will be plenty of time for resting soon,” she says cryptically. “And whether or not everything is alright depends largely on how you feel about…” she wonders briefly if there’s a good way to phrase this, or at least a better way than simply blurting it out.

It’s a pity that tact and gentle phrasing has never been one of Cecily’s strong suits.

“...about having another child,” she finishes, carefully watching his expression.

It’s difficult to decipher much beyond Gabriel’s absolute shock, which is fair. She’s still a bit shocked herself and she’s had hours to process the news. His hand remains on her shoulder and she feels the grip of it tighten ever so slightly.

“Just to be clear,” Gabriel says cautiously. “You’re saying this simply because you want to have another child, or because-”

“Because I’m pregnant,” she confirms.

A silence falls between them then. Cecily can see the wheels turning in Gabriel’s mind, the way his eyes shift constantly from her face to her stomach to the room around them as he processes this information, and it takes all of what little self-control Cecily possesses to allow him that time.

“You’re pregnant,” he finally repeats, and then, very slowly, his lips curl up into an eager smile. “That’s wonderful!”

“It is?” Cecily asks, the words slipping out in a rush of relief after she’d mentally prepared herself for the worst possible reaction.

“Isn’t it?” Gabriel counters, sounding suddenly unsure of his reaction.

“I mean, yes, of course, it is! But we’re not exactly in our prime, and it isn’t as if we planned this, or anticipated the possibility the way we had with Anna and Christopher. I just thought… I know it’s silly but I was afraid you might…” Cecily struggles to find the words for the fears that are suddenly rendered baseless in her mind.

“Cecily, my dear, sweet Cecily,” Gabriel says, wrapping his arms around her to pull her in close to him, mindful not to pull too tightly. “I love you, and I love our family, and any addition to it is nothing other than a blessing, no matter how unexpected.” He moves to hold her just far enough away to lean in and place a gentle kiss on her forehead.

Cecily feels a few errant tears make their way down her cheeks in both joy and relief.

“I feel the same,” she agrees. “And I knew you would, too. I just needed to hear you say it. Since I found out this morning all I could do was build it up in my head - we worked so hard to give Anna and Christopher stability and routine with their studies and training and this is going to upend all of that.”

“Do you think they’ll be upset?” Gabriel asks.

Cecily can only shrug. “I don’t know. I hope not, but… it is a big change. And it’ll be attention away from them, no matter how hard we try not to let it be. I just don’t want them to resent the baby, or us.”

“They won’t,” Gabriel says with a confidence Cecily wishes she felt. “Do you know how I know?”

The question should be rhetorical but he waits for an answer anyway, so Cecily asks, “How?”

The hand on her shoulder squeezes again, comforting as a knowing smile spreads across her husband’s face. “Because they’re our children, and we - you in particular - raised them to be the sort of people who have compassion and understanding, even as unruly teenagers. They’re going to adjust just fine - we all are.”

Cecily hadn’t anticipated the tears that now overwhelm her after such an emotional day, shed now for words of such simple kindness.

“Thank you,” Cecily says, shaking her head slowly. “For always knowing exactly what I need to hear.”

“Well, you make it easy when you’re always so effortlessly deserving of praise,” Gabriel counters, lifting his hand to wipe away a few stray happy tears. “I suppose I should wait until we tell the others before I go rearranging the whole house, shouldn’t I? We’ll have to make a few changes… clear out a room, set aside a bit more savings, arrange for me to be home with you for the foreseeable future, of course…”

As Gabriel begins to rattle off the things that come to mind for the immediate future, Cecily is struck by how incredibly lucky she truly is to have him by her side. He doesn’t miss a beat in figuring out how to rearrange his own life and habits to better tend to her and support their growing family. He doesn’t make so much as a passing mention of what an imposition such sudden changes will inevitably have on him.

“We’ll figure it out,” Cecily says, reaching out to take his hand in her’s. His own easy acceptance bleeds into her, calming her nerves and bringing a smile to her face. She thought those words over and over throughout the day, but this is the first time she thinks them without doubt and voices them with equal surety. They will figure it out. Together. “We have time, nothing has to be done or decided today.”

She glances at the clock. “In fact, perhaps we should enjoy the next hour or two to ourselves before Will and Tessa bring the children back. I’m sure once we tell them we won’t know a moment’s peace until months after the baby’s born,” she points out with a light laugh.

“I don’t know if you’re referring to your brother or the children,” Gabriel says. “Though I daresay it applies to the lot of them.”

Cecily rolls her eyes. “Oh, come now. You know I meant-” she begins, but stops abruptly. “No, you’re right. Will is going to be insufferable.”

Now it’s Gabriel’s turn to laugh. “We’ll face that inevitability when it comes. Right now, if I know you you’ve likely been stressed and wearing yourself out all day with worry. Let’s get you some proper rest before we break the news.”

It isn’t the sort of quiet, alone time she’d meant, but the moment he suggests it she knows it’s exactly what she needs. He always knows exactly what she needs. To her surprise, instead of tucking her in and going downstairs he gets into bed beside her, pulling her against his side, and she allows his warm, comforting presence to lull her into the best rest she’s had in days.

[killed-by-jane-volturi]

Cause someone has to fill the huge Volturi void, right?

An extract of the start of who knows what, y’all.

****Jane (and Alec) are aged up to 20 because S*eyer is a gateway pedo and she does not pass the fuckin’ vibe check****

---

@greekmuser

----

“Well, I think that was wonderful. That was wonderful, don’t you agree?” Aro clasped his hands and turned to each of his brothers in delight.

Marcus nodded deeply and slowly, his face not moving from its sunken blood-hound like melancholy. Caius smiled thinly. 

This human did indeed have a wonderful handle of the violin trembling against her shoulder, but Aro had been at this for eight days. In a bid to add to his ‘collection’ of art, Aro had decided to reach out to those few hopeful humans who stayed under the Volturi’s employ in search of any with a talent with instruments. Once he acquired a full quartet, orchestra, or god knows what he had his heart set on, he would grant them the immortality they craved in exchange for their eternal service as the castle’s musicians.

No one dared voice how ridiculous a waste of effort it seemed, even when Aro declared he wanted to hear for himself each and every audition, and dragged his brothers into the newly repaired turret room for the occasion.

The young woman with the violin bowed deeply, awkwardly, and then left, only to be replaced by another. This one carried a cello, and froze to her core once she gathered the courage to look at her spectators. 

“Whilst we’re still young.” Marcus droned in an unchanging, deadened tone.

Caius’ snort at the humour was childish and Aro glared across the room at him before regaining his whimsical, cheerful facade. 

“Go ahead.”

The woman wetted her lips and tried to smile, drawing the bow to the strings. Aro thought she looked like very much like she was in pain. 

As the thought crossed his mind, the sound of an enraged scream split through the marble and mortar of the castle walls with such a blood-curdling quality the cello woman almost fainted. 

Aro closed his eyes in annoyance, Marcus rolled his tortured gaze on the ceiling and Caius gave the side of Aro’s head a look which could have said ‘rather you than me’ as much as it could have meant ‘I told you so’. 

“Excuse me.” Aro said with a sickly sugariness, lips peeled back in a shark smile as a muffled crashing sound resounded from above.

He left the judging to his brothers with a heavy heart, and hoped they would at least allow her to play before they killed her. 

Jane’s chambers, of which had been hers and hers alone for over twelve hundred years, were now more of a salvage operation than a rescue mission. She stood still in the rubble of the furniture, of her few possessions and in places, the stonework of the walls, with her back to the door and an antagonised aura about her. Chalky dust still swirled in the air, and smears of powdered granite peppered with splinters decorated her black robes in calico patches. Aro cleared his throat from the doorway and she exhaled audibly. 

“Jane.” He prompted, like a school teacher cueing a small child to take their turn. 

“Master.” It was polite but she knew she was pushing it. Aro had asked a question with his presence alone, and this was the second time this week that she hadn’t answered it. She didn’t turn around.

Aro stayed silent for long enough to give away that he was calculating. 

“Your power grants you a great deal of… privacy. Which in turn demands a great deal of transparency,” His voice stayed light and oddly-pitched. “I trust that I still have your… transparency?” His saccharine tone was straining. She was keeping things from him, and no one kept things from him. 

Jane clenched and unclenched her jaw, still rigid. It wouldn’t be long before he worked this out, she knew Caius was already whispering in his ear at every opportunity. She turned very slowly to look at him, and Aro’s features scrunched a little at what he was confronted with. Jane’s face was calm, but there was a crack running along her cheekbone which was healing very slowly, if it was healing at all. Her eyes were flushed black. However long it had been since Jane had drank, it was long enough halt her natural abilities to heal almost to a stop. 

She nodded once, knowing better than to speak and risk her words being seized and used against her. 

“I do not wish to have to force you to behave appropriately, Jane.” He added with some finality, the threat seeping into his voice. “The Guard do not have personal issues.” He left. 

Jane’s shoulders relaxed a little and she glanced towards a god she didn’t believe in before looking around at the room she had destroyed. She swore. She hadn’t succumbed to such a blind rage in centuries, but she didn’t know any other way to handle this new complication. 

“Dear me.” 

Jane’s head snapped around to regard the new intrusion into what was already a poor day. She growled lowly, fists tightening under her cloak as she felt Chelsea’s thin influence coil around her. 

“Temper, temper, Jane.” Chelsea’s pale brown hair was wrapped into a bun that made her sharp features look as though they had been created by the taught pressure alone. She kept a cold, vindictive twist to her thin lips as she surveyed the room. 

“Didn’t your dirty peasant mother ever teach you that it’s unbecoming of a lady to throw tantrums?”

Anger simmered under the surface as Jane battled to school her face. In her eyes, Chelsea, for what she could do, was an abomination that should have been destroyed long ago, and the fact that Aro refused to listen to her on the subject gave the manipulator a kind of insufferable glee that goaded Jane to her very soul. 

“If you’d like to see a tantrum, Charmion, by all means; carry on.” 

Jane lifted her jaw and with some satisfaction saw the other woman hesitate, eyes flicking down and back up again as if somehow surveying a threat she couldn’t see. The eldest of Aro’s daughters despised people calling her by her birth name and anyone else would have paid for their insolence with a hard dose of Chelsea’s most brutal destruction, losing their friends, lovers, even pets on occasion. But Jane’s power was volatile and chaotic in her veins and no vampire so far had been able touch her mind without being brought to their knees in indescribable agony. 

In fact, the last time a vampire had gone head to head with Jane’s natural defences— a white-blonde Parisian vampire named Lafayette with an affinity to cause long lasting amnesia— he had simply tried, screaming and straining until he expired. Aro had ordered him killed once it became apparent that the force of what Jane had unwittingly done to him had left him barely able to speak let alone serve. The inner circle had accepted this handicap to their absolute power out of necessity to keep Jane close, but Chelsea had never been able to let it go that Jane went unaffected and unchecked, her mental privacy so absolute. 

“Always such an angry little thing,” Chelsea mocked, smirking around at the carnage. “You know, I really thought our time apart would have calmed you down.” Her abilities poked at Jane a second time, just slight enough to be safe.

Late one afternoon in 1740-something, Chelsea had almost died by Jane’s hand when it had accidentally slipped that the older vampire could delicately manipulate Jane’s relationships without torturing herself, though it took a skilful, butterfly application, excruciatingly slow and insidious to evade Jane’s detection and defences, with an end result was pathetic at best. Aro had ordered them apart for ninety years after the fight had been subdued, favouritism Chelsea had branded it when she had heard Jane had survived the transgression (sure as hell nobody else would have), and once they did come back into contact almost a century later the bad blood had only run cold. Her application of it now was just blatant provocation. 

“I’ll be calm as I take a long nap at your overdue wake.” 

Chelsea sneered suddenly. “Please. I know as well as you do that you’re stomping that foot on ice far too thin to risk adding any bite to your bark.”

It was Jane’s turn to laugh. “You have the natural edge when it comes to barking, Chelsea.” 

“Jane.” Alec’s sharp voice cut off the rage her comment had invoked in her antagoniser as he strode past them without halting. “Marcus demands your presence. Now.”  

Jane gritted her teeth again and Chelsea was already back to her smug default. 

“Oops.” She feigned Aro’s sugar with one hand over her mouth as she followed Alec away, knowing damned fine and happily so that Jane was probably in trouble if Marcus wanted her so suddenly. 

[echo-bleu]

jump and hope it’s not a cliff

Summary: Five times Alec and Magnus come out, and one time they come home.

“I’m gay,” he blurts out.

Some part of him still expects it to be earth-shattering, but it’s not. It’s almost nothing, just a word, a single syllable that falls out of his lips easily. It doesn’t suddenly make everything click into place, or scramble his whole being.

It’s just a fact.

Malec, about coming out and pride and supporting each other.

A/N: This is set in the same universe as map out a world and there are a few callbacks, but this should easily stand on its own. Alec is autistic, and everything else is mostly like canon, except that I stretched out the timeline. Part 1 to 3 are set somewhere during season 2, 4 during season 3 and the last two at some point in the future. The title is a quote from Red, White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston (thank you Cor for the suggestion).

A huge thank you to the amazing @moonlight-breeze-44  who did a great job betaing this and cheering me on, as well as all the wonderful people in the Malec Discord Server for helping me come up with some of these scenes and being super supportive. This fic was truly a work of love and it's very close to my heart, so it's a little daunting to finally post it!

Warnings: part 5 contains a transphobic character who says very transphobic things. You might want to skip that part if it's a sensitive subject. The rest contains mentions of (mostly past) queerphobia and ableism, but it's all fairly light.

Read on AO3.

1.

Alec can’t remember a specific moment when they came out to each other. He remembers Magnus openly flirting with him — right in front of his siblings, too, and Alec is just embarrassed by how utterly clueless he was, though Magnus seems to think it was adorable — and his own clumsy attempts at flirting back, once he got over his confusion. But he doesn’t remember ever saying “I’m gay.”

He’s not sure he’s ever said it out loud, to anyone, like the word is heavy and draining and it’s something best left half-implied, a whisper of a suspicion rather than a hard fact; despite the evidence. Alec is attracted to men — is attracted to Magnus, really, because besides his mistaken infatuation with Jace, he’s never felt that pull for anyone else — but he doesn’t speak of it. Magnus just seemed to know, just like Izzy did, just like Jace did, or maybe he took a leap of faith and he’s really good at appearing more confident than he actually is.

What he does remember is skimming through Magnus’ Clave file, that day before they went to meet him at his club, and the leap his heart made when he read about Magnus’ well known “proclivities” towards lovers of all genders. It was followed by fear and disgust, because of course the Clave would write this down as proof of Magnus’ untrustworthiness and dangerous behavior. Alec was dangerously close to thinking that way, back then, too terrified of people finding out about him to fully question what he’d been taught to believe. He tucked the information into a corner of his mind, and he’d be hard-pressed to tell if it influenced his first impression of Magnus and how.

They’ve been dating for over two months now, and they’ve never spoken about it. They’ve never spoken about Alec’s very public coming out to the Clave beyond agreeing to a date. They’ve discussed past relationships — or lack thereof — and the political issues that come with a Shadowhunter dating a Downworlder, especially as they’re both prominent figures in the city, but they’ve never spoken of themselves or the couple they form in terms of queerness.

And now, staring at the rainbow cover of the new book in Magnus’ hands, Alec wonders why.

He shakes himself out of his thoughts and finishes hanging his jacket on the coat rack as Magnus puts down the book and stands up with a wide smile. They’ve decided on a quiet night in tonight — dinner and a movie — after a week that has been horrendously long for both of them. Unresolved issues are piling up at the Institute, but right now Alec just wants to relax and enjoy his boyfriend.

Boyfriend. He’s still getting used to that. He thought for so long that he could never have any of the things that so many people take for granted, and feeling for someone what he feels for Magnus, having it reciprocated, seemed the most unattainable of them all.

“You seem distracted,” Magnus remarks after a moment of silence in their dinner.

Alec looks up guiltily and stills his fingers, which have been tapping a discreet rhythm on his thigh. “Sorry,” he says, sheepish. “I didn’t mean to zone out.”

“What were you thinking about?”

“You,” Alec admits — it’s not a hardship to admit it at all. He spends most of the time that isn’t directly taken up by Institute business thinking about Magnus, in one form or another. He worries, often, that maybe it’s too much, that Magnus is going to find him too intense, but so far Magnus just preens at the attention.

“I’m flattered,” Magnus quips. “Anything specific?”

Alec’s eyes fall on the rainbow book on the coffee table again, across the room. It’s a book about queer history or something similar, something he hasn’t seen Magnus read about before. It’s flashy and mundane and distracting. There’s a strange tug in Alec’s stomach at just seeing a rainbow here, in Magnus’ living space, a fear that shouldn’t be there anymore.

“I’m gay,” he blurts out.

Some part of him still expects it to be earth-shattering, but it’s not. It’s almost nothing, just a word, a single syllable that falls out of his lips easily. It doesn’t suddenly make everything click into place, or scramble his whole being.

It’s just a fact.

“Okay,” Magnus says slowly, frowning a little like he can tell he’s missing something. “I already knew that, Alexander.”

Alec runs his thumb down the fabric of his jeans and works his jaw. “Yeah,” he says. “I’m not sure I did.”

Magnus frowns further, uncomprehending, then his face lights up. “You’ve never actually said it, have you? If you came out at the wedding—” he waves a hand.

“That wasn’t planned, and my parents aren’t exactly interested in talking about it,” Alec says. “I kinda feel like I used you, actually. We weren’t even dating or anything, and there’s a gap between flirting with me and kissing me in front of the entire Institute.”

Magnus shakes his head. “I was surprised, but I’ve never been shy or particularly closeted, if that’s what you mean. And I was definitely hoping that you’d call off the wedding. It was a hell of a way to come out, though.”

“It sure didn’t help my standing with the Clave,” Alec mutters. “Or my relationship with my parents. But I don’t regret it. I regret not really giving you a choice, though. Even if you’re not in the closet, I know the Institute doesn’t represent something positive for you, and publicly being with a Shadowhunter can’t be good for your reputation.”

“My reputation has been through much worse than this,” Magnus reassures him. “But I appreciate your concern. And I promise you I was a willing participant.”

Alec nods in acceptance and eats a few more bites of his risotto. Like everything Magnus conjures, it’s delicious. They eat in silence for a moment, but Alec feels Magnus’ gaze on him, intense but somehow not heavy.

“I’m bisexual,” Magnus finally says. “I’ve used many labels over the years, some whose meaning is very different now, and often no labels at all, but that’s the one I like best.”

Alec carefully commits the information to memory and looks up to meet his eyes, to show that he’s listening.

“Did you always know?” he asks. “Even when you had no words for it?”

Magnus takes a moment to think about it. “I think so,” he answers. “It was always a part of me, like my magic or my eyes. I didn’t always accept it, but I knew.”

Alec nods, feeling like he can’t relate to that certainty. Clarity isn’t something he’s ever had about himself, about anything. Whether it’s about his sexuality, or his aspirations, or even who he is as a person, it’s always been muddled. The identities his parents and the Clave tried to impose on him, Shadowhunter and Lightwood and soldier, have never felt quite right, like he doesn’t fit into the boxes he desperately tries to hide in, but neither have the labels he’s come across since, not really.

“I’m gay,” he murmurs to himself again. He’s not sure it feels right. Maybe he just needs to get used to it, after years of not daring to apply the word to himself. Maybe it’s really just a word, and its power drained out with the need to hide. Alec shakes his head. It’s better than anything else. It’s enough. It has to be, right?

2.

Magnus claps his hands once, making a bowl of popcorn appear on his knees. “Here,” he says. “The real movie night experience.”

He had been horrified to learn that Alec has never done that before. His siblings have sneaked out to go to the movies with their teenage dates, but Alec was always the good son, and the Institute only has one TV in the break room that is certainly not casually watched by the Head of the Institute, which Alec has functionally been since he was sixteen.

Magnus doesn’t count the few classic movies Alec watched on his own on his laptop in the safety of his room as a real movie night experience. Movie night is, by definition, something you do with others.

He passes the bowl of popcorn to Alec, taking a few pieces with his other hand and popping them into his mouth. They’re sitting side by side on the couch in his living room, rearranged for the occasion. Magnus has pushed aside the two armchairs that usually occupy the other side of the coffee table in favor of a huge wide screen TV, which is currently displaying the opening scene of The Fellowship of the Ring.

“Why does it include popcorn?” Alec frowns, taking a few from the bowl and passing it back. He’s sitting cross-legged on the couch, a fluffy pillow on his lap and his new tangle toy in his hand. He’s very recently started to loosen up around the loft and actually make himself comfortable, rather than constantly staying straight-backed and tense, and Magnus never tires of watching him stim and relax.

Magnus puts his feet up on the coffee table. “It’s tradition, Alexander!”

“Aren’t you way older than the invention of the cinema?”

“Come on, movie night is something you’re supposed to enjoy, not question,” Magnus says. “Shh, I love this bit,” he adds when Gandalf makes his entrance.

Alec huffs and sits back, but there’s a smile on his face, and he’s almost close enough that their thighs touch. Magnus lets him take the first step, knowing that Alec doesn’t always handle touch well, but by the time Frodo sets out of the Shire, Alec has sought out Magnus’ free hand and interlaced it with his own.

He listens amusedly to Magnus commenting on every moment of the movie, marveling at the landscapes and critiquing the largest departures from the books, which Alec hasn’t even read. He doesn’t say anything beyond making some noises at the right places, up until the first sword fights.

“But you can’t hold a sword that way!” he protests. “His posture is all wrong!”

Magnus holds back a laugh. “It’s a movie, darling. Cinematic aestheticism is more important than realism.”

“But this is wrong! How can anyone not see it?”

Magnus keeps it to himself that he definitely didn’t, in spite of his rather extensive training. His martial arts knowledge is very different from Alec’s sword-fighting techniques. “Just relax and let yourself enjoy it,” he says, squeezing Alec’s hand.

By the time they get to the Moria fight, Alec is leaning forward to watch more closely and sputtering. “That’s not how you hold a bow!”

Magnus shrugs. “He looks rather dashing while doing it, so who cares?”

“Who cares? I care! This doesn’t make any sense! Don’t these actors have a modicum of training?”

“I’m sure they do,” Magnus says. Alec’s indignation is rather hilarious, even if it doesn’t let him truly enjoy the movie. His purpose was to show it to Alec, anyway, not to watch it himself. Watching Alec’s reactions is endearing and more fun than the movie itself. “But they’re thinking more about making it look good than realistic. And they’re all really hot doing it, which doesn’t hurt.”

Alec blinks at that and tilts his head. “You think they’re hot?”

Magnus turns his head toward him in surprise. “Don’t you?”

Is Alec jealous? It doesn’t seem to fit with his character, not over such a small thing, but Magnus doesn’t know everything about him yet.

“I don’t know, I guess?” Alec shrugs. “I haven’t really thought about it.”

Magnus opens his mouth and closes it. He pauses the movie, and Alec frowns in surprise. “Alec, do you...who do you think is hot?”

“I, uh,” Alec hesitates. “I don’t know. Why is that important?”

“It’s not, necessarily, but most people don’t say ‘I guess’ when asked if someone is hot or sexy. You can have a type, but—” Magnus gestures in frustration, struggling to explain. “It’s something you see right away.”

Alec stares at him for a moment, lost. “I don’t… I’m not sure I understand. I mean, you’re beautiful. You’re hot, I suppose. Them—” he gestures at the TV. “I don’t know them.”

Magnus carefully doesn’t let the ‘I suppose’ hurt — he knows Alec doesn’t mean it the way it sounds. He smiles at the compliment, instead. “So you need to know someone to appreciate their sexiness?” he asks.

Alec takes a moment to think about it. “You’re the only one I’ve really thought of as sexy,” he says slowly. “And even then...it’s not something I’d think unprompted? It’s just not important to me, I suppose.”

“Alexander, are you asexual?” Magnus asks slowly.

For a moment, Alec looks like a fish out of water. He opens his mouth and closes it several times, searching for his words. He’s twisting his stim toy more and more nervously, so Magnus releases his hand to let him stim freely, putting his own hand on Alec’s thigh instead. Alec flinches away, though, so he lets him go.

“I don’t know,” Alec finally says. “Maybe? What if I am?”

“There’s a bunch of different identities under the asexual umbrella,” Magnus says. “It doesn’t have to be all or nothing.”

Alec freezes for a second, then squeezes his tangle toy hard in his hand. “Is it a problem? If I’m completely asexual?”

“No, of course not,” Magnus says hurriedly. “You’re wonderful the way you are.”

“Then why is it important?”

“For us?” Magnus checks. Alec nods without looking in his direction. “It just means that we need to talk about boundaries a little more than I’m used to. I want to do that with you, anyway, but maybe we should dig deeper than I anticipated.”

Alec nods tightly. “Okay.” He doesn’t sound like he really believes it.

“Alexander, I don’t know what you’ve been told, but it doesn’t make you lesser, or broken, if you don’t feel attraction to people. It’s just different. Some people are straight, some are gay, or bi, or something else. Some are ace.”

“But I’m gay,” Alec says.

It dawns on Magnus then. Of course, in the homophobic environment Alec grew up in, he would have defined a large part of his identity through his gayness, even before he was fully aware of it. Now that he’s come out, there are likely people at the Institute or even the Clave who only think of him as “the gay one”. Or “the gay one who is shagging a Downworlder,” probably, but Magnus doesn’t want to open that particular can of worms tonight.

“It doesn’t make you any less gay,” he says. “You can be asexual and homoromantic. Or gray-asexual or demisexual and still sexually attracted to men.”

“I think I’m attracted to you,” Alec says quietly. “I mean, sexually. I know I want to kiss you and date you, but I think I also want to have sex with you.” He’s red as a brick wall by the end of his sentence, but he bravely plows through, his voice even quieter. “I don’t think I was sexually attracted to Jace.”

Magnus nods as neutrally as he can. “And other people?”

Alec just shakes his head.

“Even romantically?”

He shakes his head again, his cheeks even redder. He’s started stimming again, so fast that his hands are a blur.

Magnus refrains from telling him that he feels giddy about being so special for Alec, because this isn’t something Alec chose. He doesn’t try to touch him, even though he wants to reach out. “So you’ve only been romantically attracted to people you already knew?”

“I don’t know,” Alec shrugs. “I didn’t really know you?”

“When did you start feeling attraction for me?”

Alec bites his lip, thinking. “I liked that you paid attention to me. No one gives me a second look, usually, unless I’m giving out orders. Jace and Izzy are easier to...approach, I guess. But I didn’t feel like...like you said, losing my breath and all that, until later. The day you said that, actually.”

“So you did know me by then,” Magnus says, trying to keep his voice neutral.

“Were you attracted to me from the beginning?” Alec asks hesitantly, like he’s not sure he wants to know the answer.

“Yes,” Magnus admits easily. “But attraction isn’t something you have to act on. I liked what I saw as soon as I laid eyes on you, but then I learned to appreciate you. Your personality, your sense of humor, your loyalty to your siblings. That’s not just attraction. That’s falling in love.”

“And asexuals can do that?”

“Some of them can, some of them can’t. Some want to and some don’t. There’s no one-size-fits-all with this.”

“So what am I?”

Magnus takes a breath, trying to figure out what Alec really needs to hear. Does he need a label? Or just reassurance? He decides to go for the option that feels the least patronizing and tries to answer his actual question. “You can correct me if I’m wrong, but I think that what you’re describing is demisexuality, and maybe also demi-romanticism. It means you need to know someone, to have an emotional connection to them, before you feel attraction. But you could also say that you’re gray-ace and gray-romantic, since you don’t experience attraction often or in the same way as most people, but you do have some attraction.”

Alec nods throughout, his eyes boring a hole into the TV he’s staring at with intense focus. Magnus can even see him mouth some of the words, trying them out. “I think that sounds right,” he says slowly. “I don’t know, I need to think about it more, but it’s a start.”

“You don’t need to settle on a label tonight,” Magnus tells him.

Alec swallows. “No, I know, but...you deserve to know. Even if you’re amazingly tolerant, you deserve to know what you’re getting into.”

Magnus closes his eyes briefly. “No, Alexander,” he says, pained. “Your identities are yours and yours alone, and you don’t need to put words on them for me. I’m not being tolerant; I love you for who you are, and anyone who can’t accept you, all of you, doesn’t deserve the time of the day. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

Alec breathes out through his nose and stills his hands for long enough to look in Magnus’ direction. “Okay,” he murmurs with a tiny smile. He reaches out and takes Magnus’ hand in his. “I love you too.”

3.

“Mister Bane, please refrain from interrupting me in the future.”

Magnus sighs. The meeting has been going on forever, and the President of the Spiral Council, a warlock older than himself but disliked by nearly the entire community, is being downright insulting by refusing to call him by his rightful title of High Warlock. He feels the usual prickle of his skin at the address, at the way she insists on the Mister.

“My apologies,” he relents, all energy to argue drained out of him. He’s been fighting her on this matter — a change in the interrogation protocols for the warlocks captured by Valentine, ultimately a waste of resources — for three hours, and he’s done. He glares at the assembled warlocks around the table, who all agree with him but don’t have the guts to speak up. Why does he always have to do all the work?

He sits through the rest of the meeting without saying a word, resolutely ignoring the constant taunts from the President. She’s not worth his time. Not if no one will back him up.

Magnus is tired and more than a little upset when he makes it back to his loft. Minor inconveniences are piling up to make today one of the worst days of work he’s had in awhile. At least Alec will be here tonight, on his night off from patrol.

Magnus magically summons the few bills that have been left in his mundane mailbox downstairs at the same time as he takes off his jacket and haphazardly throws it on the floor of his bedroom. His heart constricts a little more at the sight of the address, Mister Magnus Bane. He doesn’t want to deal with this today, but he can’t seem to escape it.

He banishes the bills and changes his outfit to a silk robe with a snap of his fingers. There, better. At least now he’s comfortable.

Sighing, he sits down at his makeup console. He looks at himself critically for a moment. He went overboard with the makeup this morning, and the heavy, dark eyeshadow that he thought made him look mysterious now just seems to carve in his eye sockets, and he looks gaunt instead. He makes it disappear, leaving only the light eyeliner lines.

He woke up with a strong need to shave off his goatee, along with most of the hair on his body. He goes through one of these phases every now and then. He would usually do it straight away, but this time, he hesitated. What will Alec think, if he comes over tonight and finds Magnus smooth-skinned, not only his face but also his chest and legs?

Sure, Magnus could technically magic back the hair as soon as Alec gets here, but it doesn’t feel right.

“Everything okay?”

Magnus starts and almost falls off of his chair in surprise. Alec is standing at the door of his bedroom, in his socks. In his distraction, Magnus somehow missed him passing his wards, coming through the front door and removing his shoes.

“Fine,” he says. “Just a frustrating day. But you’re here now.”

Alec smiles. “I am. We can just chill out in bed, if you’re tired.”

“What about dinner?”

“I could do dinner in bed,” Alec shrugs. “I’ve been on my feet all day and most of last night. If I had my way, I wouldn’t move from bed for at least two days.”

“I could arrange that,” Magnus quips. He knows Alec would never go for it — for all that he says that, he’ll still be up at six on the dot tomorrow and unable to go back to bed. So Magnus has to take advantage of him while he’s here.

Snapping his fingers, he conjures a tray filled with Chinese food from a take-out place he knows Alec likes. “Dinner in bed it is,” he says.

“See, that’s why you’re my favorite man,” Alec smiles.

Magnus flinches. An actual, full-body flinch. He tries to cover it up by standing up, but Alec immediately spreads his arms to show his harmlessness, hunching over like he’s trying to make himself shorter. “I said something wrong,” he says.

“No, it’s fine, Alexander,” Magnus waves his hand, annoyed at himself.

“Please, Magnus. I can see it. You don’t have to tell me, but it would be better so I don’t do it again.”

“It’s just…” Magnus trails off, hesitating. He’s been putting off coming out to Alec, and he doesn’t know why. Or rather, he does know, but his fears are barely rational. Alec has taken him in stride so far, barely batting an eye, even at Magnus’ more extravagant habits. He had a truly amazing reaction to seeing Magnus’ warlock mark. So why would this be any different?

No, Alec won’t react badly. But if Magnus comes out now, it will become a thing. They’ll have to talk about it, explain, like every time he tells someone, and it will be weird for days. Magnus is tired. Tired of not being able to be who he is without everyone else forcing him into boxes he doesn’t fit in.

He’s tired and he doesn’t want to explain, but he also wants Alec to know. He wants him to know why words that seem perfectly normal and safe to Alec sometimes feel like a knife to Magnus’ back. He wants to be able to make jokes about his gender and have them understood. He wants to wake up next to Alec and know that his partner knows and respects him for who he is, fully.

He takes a deep breath. “I’m not a man. I’m nonbinary.”

Alec doesn’t move. His eyes widen a little, but he doesn’t turn away from Magnus, keeping his gaze somewhere around Magnus’ mouth as usual. Magnus can almost see the wheels turning in his head as he tries to decide what to answer with.

“Okay,” he says slowly. “I don’t...I think I know what the word means, but I don’t know a lot about it. Do you want to tell me what it means to you or do you want me to research it first?” His gaze trails toward the bookshelf Magnus has put together of books on queer theory.

Magnus gapes, because this is so far from any reaction he expected that it didn’t even come to his mind as an option. “I—” he stammers. “I will tell you, but I’m too tired tonight. And maybe you could...read a couple things first? Would that be okay?”

“That’s why I offered,” Alec says, with a relieved smile.

“You’re amazing, Alexander. You know that?”

Alec grins, with that tiny frown that says he wants to refute it but knows Magnus won’t hear of it if he does. He still can’t take a compliment — he can’t, Magnus has come to learn, think of himself positively without remembering every time he’s been put down and belittled by the people who should have lifted him up. Magnus just pats his shoulder. “How about we go to bed? Tomorrow, we can talk.”

Alec nods, and Magnus realizes that he’s looking forward to it, to telling Alec about himself.

*

When Magnus wakes up the next morning, which is their day off — Magnus has adapted his own schedule to match Alec’s whenever possible — Alec isn’t in bed next to him. Magnus finds him in the main room, sitting crossed-legged in an armchair with his laptop on his lap, a full breakfast ready on the table. He’s obviously been up for a while, if he’s had time to prepare all that on top of his morning run and stretching routine.

“Hey,” he gives Magnus a wide smile.

“Did I oversleep?” Magnus asks. He’s definitely less of an early-riser than Alec, who tends to wake up with the sun whenever he hasn’t been on the night shift, but he’s usually awake by the time Alec comes back from his run.

“There’s no such thing on a day off, but I think you were tired,” Alec answers. “I’ve been up for three hours.”

“Oh my,” Magnus murmurs, checking the time with a wave of his hand. To his relief — and amusement — it’s only eight-thirty, definitely not that late by his standards. “What have you done with all this time?”

“Research,” Alec waves to the books on the coffee table in front of him, which Magnus only now notices. They’re from his LGBT+ book collection, and definitely his top choices for learning about gender identities. “I’m learning a lot.”

“Let me shower and we can talk about it,” Magnus decides, his body tensing with excitement and a touch of apprehension.

“Breakfast is ready when you are,” Alec smiles reassuringly.

He’s just serving coffee when Magnus comes out of the shower. Magnus hasn’t bothered to get dressed or do his makeup yet, avoiding his mirrors — which isn’t the easiest feat in his bathroom, which has no less than two full-length mirrors beside the one above the sink — because he’s not sure what he wants to look like today. His goatee still itches on his chin, but he needs to get a feel for Alec’s reaction before he goes ahead and shaves it.

He forbids himself from pulling at his facial hair and grabs his mug of coffee instead, hissing when it nearly burns his hand. “Hey, you okay?” Alec asks, his voice quiet and concerned.

“I’m fine, Alexander,” Magnus makes himself smile. There’s no reason for this to go badly. Last night, even though Alec didn’t know much, was already affirming and relieving.

The concern is always there, especially given the culture Alec comes from, but Magnus has seen Alec fight hard against his own racism and internalized homophobia, and more recently his internalized ableism — and Alec is someone who doesn’t relent until he makes things right. Especially when he’s the one who made mistakes. It’s going to be okay.

“Tell me what you need,” Alec says, meeting his eyes — something he only does when he wants to show Magnus his support, explicitly and deliberately.

“Ask me?” Magnus tries. He hates feeling this vulnerable. “Ask me whatever questions you have, without beating around the bush.” Don’t make it awkward and painful, please.

“Alright, I can do that,” Alec smiles softly, and Magnus melts a little, like every time Alec looks at him like that. He takes a sip of his coffee. “So, I’ve read that there are a lot of different nonbinary identities. Do you use any of those labels for yourself? If you want to tell me.”

Magnus swallows in gratefulness. “I don’t, not really,” he replies. “Most of those labels are very recent, and they don’t really match with how I’ve learned to think about myself. Even nonbinary doesn’t feel exactly right, even if I fit the definition. But I use it because it’s rare for me to feel part of a community, of a group of people who share that with me.”

Alec nods thoughtfully. “I think I can relate with that,” he says. “The community thing, I mean. I’ve never actually thought about my gender, not beyond where it relates to my sexuality, but I guess not needing to think about it is a good sign that I’m cis.”

“Probably,” Magnus shrugs. “Does it feel strange for you? Realizing that you’re not really dating a man?”

Alec takes the time to think about it, though he never completely looks away. “No,” he says finally. “I won’t lie, maybe a few months ago it would have, because...I fought against my own gayness so much that when I finally accepted it, I needed it to be clear-cut. But I don’t feel like that anymore. If I learned something about identities and labels, it’s that they shouldn’t be boxes where you have to cut off parts of yourself to fit inside. I love you. I’m gay. You’re nonbinary. Those don’t have to be mutually exclusive.”

Magnus needs a few long seconds before he remembers how to breathe. “They don’t,” he murmurs when he can finally speak again. Alec isn’t usually eloquent, but he has a knack for finding exactly the right words sometimes. And surprising Magnus, every day.

“Yesterday, you reacted when I called you a man,” Alec says slowly. “I’m probably going to slip up a few times until I get used to it, but can you tell me how you want me to speak of you? What words I should use?”

“Yesterday I was irritated and dysphoric,” Magnus replies. “It usually isn’t a problem. I don’t love those words and I’d prefer to avoid them when it’s just us, but socially, I’ve been taken for a man for so long… I can’t say it doesn’t bother me, but I’m not sure I can really imagine anything else. Sure, I’ve had fun glamouring myself into something more feminine, or cultivating an androgynous style at different times, but I’m still...I’m more comfortable being seen as a man than as a woman. Warlocks are sometimes seen as sexless by mortals, like Seelies, because our customs are so different, and I’ve always played with those perceptions.”

“Your name is masculine, right?”

Magnus shrugs. “Yes and no. It uses the masculine marker in Latin, but Latin was a language with grammatical gender. There are masculine words referencing females, and the other way around. And it’s a dead language, anyway. It was dead before I was born. I don’t think of my name as masculine.”

“Then, that’s what’s important,” Alec says. “What about pronouns?”

“I’ve used many different pronouns in many different languages,” Magnus answers. “I’ve always been partial to languages with no gendered pronouns like Turkish, but I really don’t care. He/him pronouns don’t make me feel bad, and I’m used to them.”

“There are languages with no gendered pronouns?” Alec asks, fascinated.

“A number of them,” Magnus says. “We really need to travel more. But to go back to your question, maybe in a few years or decades, I’ll be more comfortable with the new gender-neutral pronouns in English like they/them, but it takes me a while to get used to new things. So he/him is fine for now.”

“Okay,” Alec nods. “What about...we’ve been calling each other boyfriends. Would you rather I use something else?”

Magnus laughs, relief finally washing over him. He was tenser than he realized, and it makes him feel like jelly, suddenly. “No, Alexander. Hearing you calling me your boyfriend is far too endearing to change that. Please keep doing it.”

Alec’s face illuminates with a wide smile. “My nonbinary boyfriend,” he says playfully. “I know we’ve only barely scratched the surface, but is there something else I should know right now?”

Magnus runs a few things through his head, deciding to keep them for later — he’s very curious, and not all that apprehensive anymore, of what Alec’s reaction to him in feminine lingerie might be — and strokes his chin. “Oh,” comes the illumination. “I really want to shave my face right now. It’s been too long since I last did that.”

“Okay,” Alec says. “That’s a gender thing?”

“Sometimes facial hair feels dysphoric,” Magnus replies. “Like today. Sometimes I just want to look different.”

“I love both looks,” Alec says. “I love all of your looks. I love how I never know what you’re going to go for in the morning.”

Magnus starts eating his pancakes, but he decides that he doesn’t want to wait. He conjures a hand mirror in front of his plate and runs his glowing hand over his chin carefully, leaving smooth skin behind. Alec smiles at him over his coffee mug and Magnus smiles back, glancing at his now hairless face in the mirror. That feels better. Maybe he’ll go ahead and wax his legs and his chest as well.

4.

“Of all the days to be called out on patrol—”

“I know, I’m sorry,” Alec sighs, trying to appease Magnus’ annoyance by squeezing his hand. It’s Sunday, it’s the middle of the day, he wasn’t expecting a call from the Institute at all. “But the nest is in a busy metro tunnel just below the end of the parade. In a few hours, there’s going to be thousands of people down there, and who knows when the demons might try to attack the trains. And they’re bat demons, so they need my bow.”

The curse—and occasional blessing, if Alec is honest with himself—of being the only archer worth his salt in the New York Institute, is that despite now being the official Head, he’s still needed on the patrol roster. Most Institute Heads retire from the field, the administrative and political work being a full time job, but Alec still goes out with his siblings several times a week, and he usually leads the special teams called to handle demon surges.

Today, he curses that necessity with everything he has. Magnus has been excited about their first Pride together for weeks, and Alec was truly happy to do this with him.

“We were supposed to go to the parade,” Magnus sulks.

“I’m really sorry,” Alec repeats. “Maybe if we handle this fast enough, I can join you part-way through? I’ll do my best.”

Magnus looks at him critically. “No. I’m coming with you.”

“I know the parade is important to you—”

“It’s only important if we go together,” Magnus answers. “If I come with you, it will be faster, and then I can portal us into the procession directly, if there’s still time.”

“Alright,” Alec nods.

The team, larger than usual patrols because of the size of the demon nest, is almost ready when Alec and Magnus make it to the ops center. Alec quickly gets his bow and quiver and straps on his thigh holsters, and moves to signal the go ahead.

“Wait,” Magnus holds him up. “If we’re going to do this, we’ll do it in style.”

Alec frowns as he waves his hand, releasing a cloud of blue magic onto the two of them. Alec looks down at himself, his eyes gliding over his outfit before he clocks the changes. The lapel of his leather jacket now holds two prominent flag pins, a rainbow one and one with the black, gray, white and purple of the asexual flag. He sees matching pins, significantly larger, on Magnus’ vest, with his own flags. It’s the first time, as far as Alec knows, that Magnus has outwardly worn his nonbinary identity in the Institute, and he feels a swell of pride at the shine in Magnus’ eyes.

“Look at your arrows, sir,” Underhill’s voice comes from over his shoulder.

Alec twists his head to see the fletching of his arrows, usually red, is now brightly colored. Each fletch bears the colors of a different pride flag.

“So we can defeat the demons with pride,” Magnus smirks when Alec looks back at him.

“I like it,” Alec smiles. The mass of bright colors hurts his eyes a little, but the gazes of his teammates on them aren’t full of judgment but of amusement, and that’s a victory in its own right. He runs a hand over the little pins on his lapel.

“Um, sir?” Underhill asks, clearing his throat.

“Yes?” Alec turns to him, but he realizes that Underhill is looking at Magnus and not at him.

He gestures at the pins Magnus is wearing, and Alec can feel Magnus brace himself for a comment. “Could I, uh, have one too?”

Magnus blinks. “Of course,” he recovers quickly. “Rainbow flag?”

“Yeah,” Underhill nods.

Magnus snaps his fingers, and a pin as large as his own appears on Underhill’s chest.

“Thank you!”

Alec is certain he can see his subordinate’s eyes shine.

“Anyone else?” Magnus asks, full of mirth. A few people grumble, including Jace, until a young Shadowhunter takes a step forward.

“Can I have a trans pin?” she asks, her voice only wavering a little.

Alec feels a swell of pride. Kara is one of the youngest recruits, a sixteen year old who’s mostly kept to herself since she transferred to the Institute last winter, because he was the only Head willing to accept her chosen name and pronouns. Her face is set in stubborn determination as she fields her teammates' stares and stands in front of Magnus. Magnus beams at her. “Here you go, darling,” he snaps his fingers again. Kara looks down at the shiny pastel colored pin in reverence, and flashes him a smile.

“Are we ready to go?” Alec asks. He doesn’t want to break the moment, but they really need to move.

Magnus takes a step back and throws out a portal in front of them. “Let’s go kill some demons,” he says.

Alec grabs an aromantic-themed arrow from his quiver, smiling internally at the pun, and nocks it onto his bow string before stepping through the portal.

5.

Alec does his best to pay attention to what Jia is telling him, but he’s not having the best time of it. He’s had a full glass of champagne already and it’s getting to his head a little, and the ambient noise isn’t helping his concentration — in fact, it’s loud enough that his head is pounding and he’s losing track of what’s going on.

And then, there’s Magnus. Alec keeps stealing concerned glances at him, standing across the room in conversation with an older Shadowhunter from the Prague Institute. It’s been at least ten minutes, and every time Alec looks, Magnus is wearing a new accessory.

Alec knows why Magnus elected for a plain look today, for their very first reception since they moved to Alicante. He wanted to avoid dragging attention to him, knowing that many people in attendance are doubtful toward the new High Warlock of Alicante. Tonight marks Alec’s official nomination as Inquisitor, and he wanted to spare Alec a scene.

Alec is starting to suspect that a scene may be unavoidable, and if the reason is what he suspects, then he will wholeheartedly defend Magnus. It started with earrings. Magnus went for a simple dark suit with almost no jewelry beside his wedding ring, but he’s now sporting a very shiny pair of diamond earrings. And a necklace. And a butterfly hair clip that probably costs more than a year of Alec’s now sizable salary.

And now, lipstick. Very obvious, bright red lipstick.

“I’m so sorry,” Alec turns back to Jia, “but I believe my husband needs my help.”

Even though she’s now his direct superior, he doesn’t wait to be dismissed and he strides through the room, his height and his new status meaning that everyone gets out of his way. Izzy catches his eyes briefly, and Alec signals at her to stand by.

By the time he’s made it to his husband’s side, Magnus’ hair has turned into a vibrant rendition of the nonbinary flag, and that’s not a good sign. Alec steps into his field of vision before putting a hand on his arm.

“Everything okay?” he asks.

“Peachy,” Magnus says through his teeth. “This gentleman right here was just telling me about a very strange sort of demon that possesses young Nephilim men and makes them pretend to be women in order to assault actual women.”

Alec blinks as he takes that in, as well as the poison in Magnus’ tone. He tightens his grip on Magnus’ arm, feeling the stares on them — Magnus’ new hair color is hard to miss.

“Really?” he asks innocently, tilting his head. “I’ve never heard of those demons. I should read up on them, so I can make sure every Institute is fully ready for an invasion. What did you say their classification was, Mr. Svec?”

The man gapes at him. “They’re...uh...I don’t…”

“That’s what I thought,” Alec says icily. “There’s no such thing. You’re Kara’s father, aren’t you?”

“That monster isn’t my son,” Svec spits out.

“No, you’re right. She’s not. She’s your daughter. And she’s absolutely thriving at the New York Institute, by the way. She’s the best fighter in her class. That’s what happens when people accept you for who you are.” Alec deliberately turns his back to the sputtering man and looks at Magnus. “Honey, it’s getting late, we should probably head home,” he says, purposefully speaking louder than he needs to. Magnus is trembling with rage, fighting to rein himself in. “Let me just tell Jia, okay?” he adds in a murmur, just for Magnus.

Magnus closes his eyes and nods. “Get me away from him,” he says.

Alec gently guides him over to Izzy, who immediately takes Magnus’ hand. “Let’s stay out of the crowd,” she says, nodding at Alec that she’ll take care of him.

Alec finds Jia with Aline by the buffet. “I can’t condone this kind of bigotry coming from the Head of an Institute,” he says through his teeth.

“I don’t think he’ll try that twice around you,” Aline chuckles, nodding toward Svec, who is now glaring at them from across the room, clearly ostracized. “He didn’t make any friends tonight.”

“What happened tonight isn’t enough to remove him, but as Inquisitor, you’ll be able to push for someone else to take his place when his contract is up in six months,” Jia says. “I understand your anger, Alec. But we can’t change people in a day.”

Alec remembers, not for the first time since she offered him the job of Inquisitor, that she’s not just the progressivist Consul that the most conservative Nephilim frown at, or the mother of one of his best friends. She’s also the person who once sentenced Clary to death without a second thought. If he wants change, he’ll have to bring it on himself.

He exchanges a look with Aline, thinking of the folder on his new desk, the proposal they might have a chance at getting through now that he’s the Inquisitor. Jia’s right, it won’t be done in a day. But it will happen. Alec will make it happen.

And if at some point in the meantime, he has the opportunity to get rid of a few bigots like Svec, he won’t turn his nose up at it.

“Magnus and I are going home,” he says. “Thank you for tonight.”

“Congratulations on the promotion again,” Jia nods. “I’ll expect you in my office at eight tomorrow.”

“Good night.” Alec has to unclench his fist to shake Jia’s hand, and he realizes just how angry he is. Aline clasps him on the shoulder with an understanding look.

He finds Magnus and Izzy at the door, ready to go. “Can you portal us home?” he asks Magnus as they step outside.

Magnus wordlessly opens a portal and steps through without checking that Alec is following him, a testimony of how unsettled he still is. Alec takes the time to hug Izzy before he goes through. “You were amazing,” she slips him, kissing him on the cheek.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he answers. “Thanks for your help.”

Alec comes behind Magnus and embraces him as soon as he’s out of the portal. Magnus took them straight to their bedroom, but he hasn’t moved since, standing there trembling in rage — or in something else.

“I love you,” Alec murmurs over and over in his ear. “All of you.”

After a minute, the shaking subsides, and Alec feels his own anger drain with it. It leaves him tired and out of sorts, his head still ringing with the noise of the reception. He loosens his hold on Magnus and takes one hand off of him to pull off his tie.

“I’m sorry,” Magnus murmurs. “I really wanted to avoid making a scene.”

Alec moves to face him. “Don’t ever apologize for something a bigot caused. It wasn’t you.”

“I tried to just ignore him, but—”

“He was awful,” Alec finishes. “I know.”

“I don’t know why I let him get to me so much,” Magnus sighs.

Alec guides them both to sit down on the bed.

“You love Kara,” he says. “He was saying horrible things.”

Magnus shakes his head. “I didn’t even know that was her father.”

Alec shrugs. “We all get triggered sometimes. He just pushed the wrong buttons.”

Magnus curls up and buries his hands in his still colored hair. “I usually have better control than that,” he says.

“I think I know what happened,” Alec sighs. “You were feeling insecure because you toned down your whole identity for me, in a place where you don’t feel safe. You were already on edge, and probably dysphoric, am I wrong?”

“No,” Magnus mutters. “I hate slacks.”

“Magnus, I don’t want you to change yourself for me, ever,” Alec says. He puts a hand on Magnus’ shoulder, to make sure that he’s really listening. Magnus looks up at him. “I don’t want you to make yourself smaller or more acceptable because you think it will be better for me.”

“I just—” Magnus sighs. “It was your day.”

“We’re not, ever, going to be normal. Not for the Downworld, and definitely not for the Clave. And I don’t want us to be, Magnus. I’ve spent enough time trying to make myself fit into a mold that didn’t fit me. I don’t ever want you to tone yourself done for them.”

“Okay,” Magnus murmurs, his voice fragile. Alec feels a strong pulse of anger at Svec course through him again, seeing Magnus so vulnerable. Magnus isn’t supposed to be vulnerable. Not about this.

Or maybe he’s more insecure about it than Alec realized.

Alec holds him for a while in silence, feeling Magnus’ need to recoup. “How did you know I was feeling dysphoric?” Magnus asks suddenly, after a few minutes.

“I’m starting to recognize it,” Alec shrugs. “Also, you might want to look at a mirror.”

Before he can realize it, Magnus is out of his embrace, staring at a hastily conjured hand mirror. “Fuck,” he mutters, showing Alec that his suspicion was right. Magnus didn’t realize the way his magic responded to his discomfort.

“Did I just come out to the entire Council because I was angry?”

“Uh,” Alec hesitates. “I doubt that many of them know what the colors mean. They’ll just put it down as one of your...eccentricities. Izzy might know, though.”

“That’s why she kept saying she loved me,” Magnus breathes out, running a hand through his colorful hair.

“Should I be jealous?” Alec raises an eyebrow.

“I don’t know, Alexander. I’ve been thinking of leaving you for Isabelle’s legendary cooking skills.”

Alec makes a face at him, then he reaches out and touches the tip of Magnus’ artfully styled hair where it’s dyed bright yellow. “I like this look on you,” he says. “I mean, I don’t like that you felt so threatened that your magic reacted this way, but I like to see you proud and loud. You’re beautiful.”

Magnus beams at him and relaxes back against Alec’s chest, holding up the mirror to look at the both of them, Alec straight-backed in his serious black suit and Magnus boneless against him, a flurry of colors. Alec wonders, often — especially on days like today — if they could make a more disparate couple, at least in the eyes of the world.

And yet the ways in which they fit together outweigh their differences, every day.

+1.

“I asked you here because I want to show you something,” Alec says when Magnus walks into his office on a Friday afternoon, holding his phone in his hand and looking confused.

Magnus stills at his seriousness. “Is something wrong?”

“No, not at all. The opposite, actually. But it’s important to me, and I thought you’d want to see it.”

Alec takes a thin blue folder from his desk and hands it over to Magnus, a small smile on his lips. Magnus opens it with a frown.

“What is this?” he asks.

“The ruling from the latest Council meeting,” Alec answers. “It came in just this afternoon.”

“The one they asked you to testify in?”

Alec confirms with a nod. He didn’t tell Magnus exactly why he needed to talk at the Council assembly, but it’s a common enough occurrence that Magnus didn’t think much of it. To Alec, though, it was a moment he’s waited for for a long time.

He watches Magnus skim the first lines of the ruling, his eyebrows shooting up. “Is that what I think it is?” Magnus asks, glancing up at him.

Alec’s fingers find his wedding ring and start spinning it. “Depends what you’re thinking,” he shrugs, trying to look unconcerned. He probably shouldn’t be anxious about Magnus’ reaction, but he is. “It’s the first part of a set of amendments to Clave law that I’ve been pushing for since before I was named Inquisitor. Aline and I presented them to the Council last month, and they’ve just been voted.”

“You and Aline,” Magnus says pensively. “‘Amendments concerning the inclusion of members of the LGBTQUIA+ community,’” he reads out loud. “You did this?”

“Full marriage equality regardless of gender, including for mixed-species couples,” Alec recites. “Automatic acceptance of name and gender change requests if related to transition. Recognition of the existence of genders outside the binary.”

Magnus gasps in surprise. Alec nods to confirm the truth of it. It’s one of the things the Council fought back the most on, and he pushed hard to get it to pass. It goes beyond even mundane progress in every country he’s looked up, but it was too important to let go.

“Anti-discrimination policies,” he continues. “And this one might affect us directly someday: equal rights to adoption and the use of surrogates.”

Magnus’ eyes light up briefly, though he doesn’t immediately comment. Alec wrings his hands and rambles on nervously. “We didn’t manage to get the legalization of polyamorous marriages, but we’ll keep working on it. We’re preparing a second proposal on Downworlder inclusion, but that one will probably make amendments to the Accords necessary, and that will take a lot more time.”

“Alexander,” Magnus says in a low voice. Alec almost keeps going, too nervous to stop, but there’s something almost dangerous in Magnus’ gaze.

“Yes?”

“You did all this?”

“Not on my own,” Alec shakes his head. “Aline wrote up most of the proposal, and we got as many queer Shadowhunters to come testify as possible. There aren’t a lot of trans Nephilim who are out, but it was important, especially since most of the people on the Council have little knowledge of these issues. Aline being Jia’s daughter probably helped a lot, and our wedding made a lot of noise around here.”

“No,” Magnus catches his wrist. “You did all this and you didn’t tell me anything? Not once?”

Alec deflates. “I, uh… I wasn’t sure it would go anywhere at first, and I know Clave politics can be a touchy subject for you. And then when we finally got the hearing, I kind of wanted to keep it a surprise? I didn’t want you to be disappointed if it didn’t work.”

He doesn’t understand Magnus’ reaction, or rather his lack of reaction. He’s been absurdly happy ever since Aline came by his office earlier this afternoon to bring him the ruling, and he thought Magnus would share his mood once he found out. But he seems pensive instead, like this doesn’t interest him all that much.

“What about you, Alexander?” he asks. “What if it hadn’t worked?”

“We would have kept trying,” Alec shrugs. “Like the last four times we submitted the proposal.”

Magnus blinks. “Four times?”

“The first time, it didn’t even make it past Jia’s office. She’s supportive, but it was shortly after she was elected, and she couldn’t afford the waves it would make when there were still so many Circle supporters around.” Alec consciously stops himself from talking and stills his hands, clasping them behind his back. “Magnus—”

“Yes?” Magnus prompts him.

“Are you angry I didn’t tell you?”

Magnus’ eyes widen in surprise. “No, Alexander, of course not. I’m just—overwhelmed, I suppose. I’m sorry I made you think that.”

“Then what is it? I thought you’d like it.”

Magnus looks away, biting his lip. “I do,” he says. “I—what you’ve accomplished is incredible. It’s going to change—everything—for some people, and that’s amazing. And I know that you didn’t do it for me, but—”

“You’ll be able to get the gender mentioned on your Idris ID changed or removed,” Alec finishes for him. “And anything else you want. I did do it for you, Magnus. Not just you, but for you, too.”

“I’m not a Shadowhunter,” Magnus says.

“You live here, now. This will apply to every Downworlder in Idris, too.”

Magnus works his jaw. “I’m having a hard time processing it,” he admits. “It’s been so long that—to be able to have my whole identity recognized, in Idris of all places—it’s almost impossible to believe.”

Alec’s tension relaxes almost on its own. “You can take your time,” he smiles. “It will still be here tomorrow, and the day after. Are you...mad that I didn’t include you in the process?”

“Why didn’t you?” Magnus frowns.

“I figured you had other things on your mind, with all the work you’re doing to get more Downworlders to move here. And it felt like...like something we should achieve on our own, somehow? I don’t know if that makes sense. Aline and I discussed asking you for advice several times, but we felt like it should be our project.”

“It does make sense,” Magnus nods. “This isn’t just about changing the law. You’re trying to change the culture, your culture, and I’ll never be a part of that. I understand.”

“I don’t want you to feel excluded,” Alec says immediately.

“I don’t. I’m amazed at what you’ve achieved. And if the next step is a rewrite of the Accords, then I’ll back you every step of the way, and push for those changes in the Downworld communities too.” He reaches out to stroke Alec’s cheek tenderly. “I love you, Alexander. You still surprise me every day, and I love you so much for it.”

Alec feels his heart speed up at the declaration, a wave of warmth and love coursing through him, reaching for Magnus. He opens his arms, and Magnus comes to nestle his face in Alec’s neck, hugging him tightly. “I love you too,” Alec says. “It would mean everything to me if we can take this next step in tandem. Change the world together.”

Magnus moves to beam up at him. “You’re incredible, Alexander. You know that?”

“You keep telling me,” Alec smiles, leaning in to kiss him.

As they pull apart again, he can’t help admiring the way the light hits Magnus’ face just right, highlighting the golden sparkles in his blue eyeshadow. Magnus has made it a point to wear warlock blue everyday since they moved to Alicante, but today it’s subdued, down to just his makeup and a discreet sapphire bracelet. He tilts his head, and the light makes his eyes glow.

“When you said the amendment about adoption could affect us, did you mean it?” he asks.

Alec bites his lip. “I know we’ve only talked about children in a very abstract way, but—is that something you’d want?” he asks in a smaller voice than he’d like.

“I’ve never truly wanted it before I met you, but yes, I think I would,” Magnus answers, looking a little awestruck by his own realization.

“It’s not something we need to commit to right now,” Alec reassures him. “But now, if we want to, the Clave will fully recognize any child we adopt as ours, and as a legal resident of Idris.”

“All thanks to you,” Magnus murmurs, tears in his eyes. “Yes, Alexander, I want children with you.”

“Then we’ll start thinking about that,” Alec says with a wide smile. “For now, let’s go home and celebrate properly.”

Magnus laughs wetly and twists his hand to make a portal. “After you,” he says.

Alec grabs his hand and pulls them through together.

[akindofmagictoo]

20 first lines tag game

this comes from @zmlorenz and also I think @amillionwips — thank you both!

rules: list the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20 stories just list them all). see if there are any patterns. choose your favourite opening line. then tag others. 

(I will tag @writingbyjillian @pamsdrabbles @sleepyowlwrites and anyone who wants to play!) 

Hurricane 

Tempest stilled her bouncing leg, eyeing her sleeping husband. Had she woken him? She took a careful breath and didn’t let it go until he snored and rolled over, pulling the covers tighter around himself. Still she waited. One breath. Two breaths. When he still didn’t move, she stood up and grabbed her coat and sword belt, not even bothering to put them on. Because she had to leave, and she had to leave today. 

Theo x Aella Little Mermaid AU

Water closed over his head, tugged at his clothes. Tugged him down… down… 

He wanted to cry out for help, but the water filled up his mouth before he could make a sound. Cold stole into his limbs, heavy and dark, weighing him down. 

His chest ached, searching for air. Deep, cold darkness wrapped around him. Dragging, pressing, pulling down.

Down… down… down… 

When he’d hit the water, he’d panicked. That was gone now. All he felt was the cold, the deep dark cold.

a random post-canon Theo x Aella oneshot 

Thunder rumbled overhead, blending into the drumming of the rain on the roof. Aella tucked her blanket more tightly around herself, but it did no good. She couldn’t sleep. She couldn’t keep her mind off the locked front door, Alanna’s instruction to stay inside. It felt too much like other locked doors. Every time she closed her eyes, she was back there again and—

No. Sitting in this bed alone with her thoughts would do no good.

a post-canon Theo x Aella oneshot (sort of the former version of the one above)

“Read the mermaid one again.” Aella snuggled against Theo, pressed up between him and the arm of the big old armchair. 

a Theo x Aella modern AU 

Even with a map on his phone, Theo was impressed he’d made it to the small cafe on the main street. True, it was the main street, but his new house wasn’t, and directions weren’t his forte. Given how recently he’d moved, it was at least understandable. 

The cafe was small, but its list of drink options was larger than he’d expected. But it included several types of tea, so he ordered a familiar English Breakfast and sat down at the nearest table.

post-canon oneshot of the Hurricane women play ‘theatre’ 

“So, who’s up next?” Aria stretched out in her hammock. “As much as I enjoyed being the defence lawyer, I think it’s someone else’s turn.” 

“I’ll play the accused. I want to try my daring escape again,” Aella volunteered, sitting up. 

Theo grinned. “Because you got caught last time?” 

a crossover royalty AU with another project (Labyrinth) 

(this isn’t the first line, but it’s the first lines where Theo appears. also, you would be correct if you assume that the Spanish princess is not Aella. that is the complication.) 

“Spain confirmed the marriage alliance,” said Jared. “We still have to confirm it one last time, though.” 

Theo glanced up at his dad. “Hardly surprising, really. They offered it, after all.” 

Jared nodded. “Are you still alright with this? We can turn them down now, if you want.” 

“My calendar is free,” said Theo, straight-faced. “I mean, it’s not like I’ve got my eye on someone else or whatever. Just as long as I’m not expected to actually have a romantic relationship with the Spanish princess.” 

the below are all fanfictions. [ps my AO3 is @/ sidebysidewithafriend go check it out if any of these fics interest you] 

Shadow and Cottontail (Harry Potter: Marauders (OC insert)) 

(this is co-written, I’m posting the first part that I wrote) 

“Is there mail today?” Kai Lupin jumped the last step down to the dining room. This was the same question she’d been asking for five days, but she asked anyway. 

Her mother Hope was about to answer when an owl swooped through the open window, a parchment envelope clutched in its beak. 

“I think the answer is yes,” said Remus, descending the stairs behind her with a little more care than she’d taken. Kai rolled her eyes and crossed the room to see what the envelope contained.

Hope was already taking it from the owl. “It’s from Hogwarts,” Hope said, and Kai’s heart leapt, only to be dashed by her mother’s next words. “But there’s only one envelope. It’s addressed to you, Kai.” 

Told You You’d Kill It (Harry Potter: Romione) 

“Ugh.” Ron shoved his books to one side and ran a hand through his hair, making it stick up in all different directions. Hermione hid a smile as Ron drew his hands inside his jumper sleeves.

Through a yawn, he continued, “I’m done. I’m so tired.” Probably from his basketball training, but schoolwork was also a struggle for him, she knew. And they’d been studying in the library for several hours now. No wonder he was exhausted.

Thank You For Saving My Cat (Harry Potter: Jily) 

Lily pushed herself up to a sitting position and breathed a small sigh of relief. At least she was out. She turned back to the house, watching the orange flames that danced over the structure with her heart in her throat. Was it her imagination, or were they growing smaller?

Most of her stuff could be replaced. But she hoped nonetheless that she wouldn’t have to.

Then she remembered the one thing she’d left behind and couldn’t replace. Crookshanks. She stumbled to her feet. Legs shaking under her, she ran to the nearest firefighter and grabbed their sleeve. The firefighter gear covered its occupant’s face, but the voice sounded male. “Are you alright?” He took her arm gently, steadying her.

3AM (Harry Potter: Wolfstar) 

The beeping of the fire alarm filtered into Sirius’s sleeping brain, burrowing in until he couldn’t help but wake up. At which point he groaned and wrapped his pillow around his head, trying to block out the noise.

But this was a fire alarm, so really he had to get up. Grudgingly, he removed the pillow from his head and fumbled for his phone to check the time. The light from the screen was blinding in the darkness of his dorm room, but after a moment his eyes adjusted to see that it was 3:07 AM.

Give Him Back to Me (The Great Library: Wolfe x Santi) 

Day 1

“Nic?” Wolfe half-rose from the bed at the sound of knocking, leaving his Codex open beside him. Something was off, though. Nic wouldn’t knock. He had a key. Besides, Nic was away in Belgium, training a new company. He wasn’t due back for another day or two, and that was assuming everything went to plan.

Nevertheless, when the knock came again he got to his feet and headed for the door.

Death Is Not Fair (Shadowhunters: (very angsty) Malec) 

It wasn’t fair. Then again, life wasn’t fair.

And neither was death.

It shouldn’t have happened. It should have been a simple mission. The scans and all the reports had said there was just one demon in the area. It was a larger, stronger demon, and would’ve put up a good fight, but it was still practically nothing to a Shadowhunter like Alec.

Untitled (Shadowhunters: Sizzy) (unfinished and un-posted) 

Izzy was swearing off dating. She’d kind of thought about it before, but hearing about the amount of drama in Jace’s love life right now cemented the idea firmly in her mind. No more dating. Between that and the mess Alec had gone through a couple of months ago, she wasn’t sure she wanted any part of that. Not to mention that of all the boys she’d dated, none of the relationships had really been right. Did she believe in The One? She wasn’t sure. But none of her boyfriends had been it, that was for sure. So no more dating for her. She was here to study forensic chemistry, after all, and surely it was better to concentrate on that.

Moving Day (Riordanverse: Blitzstone) 

Last? signed Hearth. 

Blitz brushed a speck of dust from the shoulder of his shirt, studying Hearth’s face. He knew exactly how many boxes were left to move, and it was more than zero, but the elf was looking paler than usual. If that was possible. As he watched, Hearth swayed a little and put a hand on the wall for support. “No. But I’ll get the rest. You need a break.”

Untitled quarantine AU (Riordanverse: Percabeth) (unfinished and un-posted)

“Thanks for letting me stay over to finish this project,” said Annabeth, setting the last piece on the model Coliseum she’d made. They’d done most of it last night, and she was just adding the finishing touches now. Although that had been before school had been shut down; they’d been notified the night before, but since she was here she’d been determined to finish it.  

Untitled (The Hobbit) (I have a “better version of Tauriel’s arc” thing in the works, and this is an accompanying oneshot of how the Durins died in this version) (un-posted) 

“Where is he? It looks empty. I think Azog has fled.” Fili glanced around nervously, his breath steaming in the icy air. 

“I don’t think so,” said Thorin. 

Footsteps sounded on the ice, echoing in all directions. It was impossible to know their source. 

“We’ve got company,” Thorin growled. 

Kili readied his sword. 

This was practically everyday for them at this point. Every motion of his sword, every footstep, every bit of it was familiar. Fili hardly had to think. His sword flashed in the faint light. Droplets of blood and crystals of ice spattered his exposed skin, hot and cold. He was at home here; he might not have been on the ice before, but with a sword in his hand and Kili and Thorin at his back, he was content.

this is VERY long. if you read to here, thank you! and maybe consider reading some of them in full on my AO3? 

[cosplaydude637]

Chapter 08: Market Run.

Simon has been in the library for the last three days. He looked like crap. His hair was messier then normal and he had dark rings under his eyes, an energy ruin barind on his right arm. Isabelle walks in and looks at her husband and lets out a heavy hearted sigh.

“Simon why are you still here? You have to sleep!” She barks.

Simon slow looks up at her his eyes red from staring at a computer screen. “Is there word form the other have we learned anything?” He asks. Isabelle shakes her head slowly “Ok then that is why i am still here researching everything I can think of.” He adds. Isabelle sighs and walks out of the library.

Isabelle leaned her back on the door of the library. She loved Simon but damn that man could be stubborn. Then again she did love that about him too, just not when it came to her. Giving a heavy sigh she push off and heads down the hall to the weapons room.

Once in the weapon room Izzy fault at home. The room was covered in all kinds of weapons from swords and whips to axes and bows. As a weapons master Isabellea loved this room. Not as must as she loved her and Simon room…. There bed. How she missed her husband but ever since they learned of the Gates Simon has not left the library. She past most her time here.

However this time the weapons room was not empty. Ruthie one of the new young shadowhunters was standing there looking over a table of knifes. “Can I help you squirt.” Izzy asks. Ruthie jumps and lets out a little sqwill.

“Mr.s LoveLace you scared me.” Ruthie says turning to look at Izzy.

“It's Izzy and i am sorry but did you need some Weapons?” Izzy asks as she makes her way to her work table.

“Mr.s ...Izzy” Ruthie starts to say but catches her self. “You know every Weapon in here right?” she finishes.

“That I do, I would not be much of a weapons master if I did not. Why do you want to learn?” Izzy inquers.

Ruthie shakes her head “Not exactly. I am the medic for my squad as you will know. I want to learn how these weapons can hurt my team and what I can do to heal them.” she explands.

“Wall for must of them a Iratze will do the trick.” Izzy repalies.

“You just said, must of them?” Ruthie asks

“Wall ya if we are stabbed with a seraph blade it will not heal with an Iratze.” Izzy explands.

“And any truly deadly cut will need more than just a Iratze that's why Alec put into place a medic on every team.” Izzy says fingering a long sword that lies on her disk. Just then one of the other new Shadowhunters enters the room.

“Hello Xander.” Izzy says waving at him.

“Hey the console asked me to tell you that him, Jace,Simon,Clary, Mekyle and Angelique are all going on a mission and will be back later.” Xander says in a very droll voice.

“What's with you?” Ruthie asks.

“Just because I don't have a Parabatai I can't go on this mission.” Xander pouts.

“It does suck at times but there are just some things that only they can do. Trust me I dealt with it all my life.” Izzy says with a small smile.

“Ya but I am going crazy stuck in here with books.” Xander says.

“Well you know there are other ways to get info” Izzy replays with an evil smile. Ruthie and Xander exchange looks and smile.

An hour later Izzy, Ruthie and Xander are walking down Canal street in full gear unseen to all the mundens. “Where are we going?” Xander asked.

“Just keep up.” Izzy says ducking into an old run-down theater. The other two follow her. Their eyes go wide when they see a huge market unfooled before them. “Welcome to the Shadow Market.” She adds with a smile.

The two young shadowhunters look around in amazement. There were stands selling all kinds of things. One stand head a vampire selling Cross of all things. There were two Werewolves selling all kinds of meat. In the square two fey girls were dancing in circles. As they walked deeper and deeper in the market they were filled with wonder.

“Mrs.Isabelle, where are we going?” Xander asks.

“Just call me Izzy and we are headed there.” Izzy says and points to a small building. The sign over it says “The Dancing Elf.”

“Tell me that is a joke.” Ruthie smirks as they make their way in.

The Dancing Elf was a very busy bar with all kinds of downworlders in it. Izzy walks over to the Bar and kicks one of the chears so hard it flies over everyone's head and hits the back wall. The whole place goes silent and turns and looks at Izzy, Ruthie and Xander. Xanders hands slowly move to his Chakrums on his hips. Right as the room seems to start to bust into a full out brawl a Woman voce yells from the back of the bar at a round Table. “Damn it Lightwood why you gotta be a pain in everyone's ass!”

Izzy smirked and started to make her way to the table. She walked with a power that screamed go ahead and try to pick a fight with me, I dare you. But not a single one came at her. And there were gant Fey in this place but they just looked away or got out of Izzy's way as she passed. Xander and Ruthie followed behind her quickly.

“Cassandra you old Dog. You know me, I got to be the center of attachen.” Izzy flashed her a devilish smile.

Cassandra was a lean woman with long green hair and glowing yellow eyes. She was dressed head to toe in black with 3ich high black combat boots. Both her arms were covered in tattoos. Like Izzy, Cassandra ora screamed fighter. Seeing as Xander is from the mundane world Cassandra looks like something out of a biker gang.

“Izzy Lightwood it's been far too long.” Cassandra moshens for them to sit down. As the Shadowhunters take their seat the Bar goes back to its normal business.

“It's Lovelace's now Cass.” Izzy smiles and flashes her wedding ring.

“Wall lish me and send me to the powned A man who was brave enough to put a ring on it.”

“Cass be nice Simon is a great man and one hell of a lover.” Izzy smirked.

“So why are you here, most not be for a drank… Seeing as you got the kiddos.” Cass looked over at the two young shadowhunters. Ruthie's eyes were glued to the table but Xanders head was like it was on a swivel. In his mind he had already mapped out ways to get them out of this place with as little damage as needed.

“Cass, This is Xander and Ruthie. They are young but they are ShadowHunters and they are good. Or so Jace tells me.”

“Oh Jace how is my dear blond god?”

“Married” Xander smarted off.

“Oh the kids Got fire?” Cass asked. Xander locked eyes with her and for a few sacents not one of them blinked. “Oh i like you boyo.” Cass says liking her lips sadctvly. This made Xander look away. Cass leaphs out and turn back to Izzy. “so why are you here?”

“Need Info and you're just the bloodhound to find out for me.” Izzy says with a soft smile.

“Is Is she a Wolf?” Ruthie squikes out. Cass again starts leaphing.

“No I am a warlock that is shifter.” Cass answers.

“Shifter?” Ruthie asks, finally looking at the women.

“Ya I am a Shape Shifter. I mostly turn in to a dog. Hins why your monitor keeps dropping the dog jokes.”

“Hey you made one two.” Xander chimes in. Cass blows him a kiss and smiles as Xander's whole face turns red and he finds a very interesting spot on the floor to Look at.

“Cass focus I need info on a warlock that is called Sinara.” Izzy snaped. Cass whent raged and her face went almost ghost white.

“You seen her.. Or you know her.” Izzy stated

“Look Shadowhunter I think it's time you got out of my bar!”

“Cass, Please she almost killed my brothers.”

“Get out!” Cass growled and once again the whole bar fell silent.

Izzy studded up and slammed her fist on the table. “Damn you Bitch and all your kind!” Izzy stormed out of the bar. Ruthie followed suit behind her but as Xander made to leave Cass grabbed his arm and slammed a piece of paper into his hand. Xander looked at Cass and in her yellow eyes and for a split second he saw regret in her eyes.

Once All three of them were outside Izzy spun on Xander and grabbed his shirt. “What did she say to you?”

“What nothing just gave me this paper.” Xander holds up the paper and Izzy saches it out of his hand. She quickly opens it and starts to giggle like a schoolgirl. She hands it back and starts for the exit. Xander looks at the paper and again Blush like a mad man. All that was on the paper was a phone number and xoxoxo

As our group of shadowhunters make it to the exit a blood curdling scram coming from the Dancing Elf. Without thinking Xander turned and ran back with Ruthie and Izzy a few seconds behind him. Xander bust through the doors of the bar and drew his chakrams as he landed and stood ready to fight. The bar looked like a blood bath. Ruthie let out a small scream as she came charging in.

“By the Angel!” She states and starts to tend to the few that were still alive.

Izzy eyes sweep the room quickly. Xander does the same. Both were taking inventory of who was in the bar and how was not… “Cass!” They both shout. A werewolf with a broken leg slowly sits up. “They grabbed her and head out the back.” Ruthie moved to start working on his leg.

“You two Go I got this.” Ruthie doesn't even notice that Xander was already gone.

“Damn it!” Izzy snapped and took off after him.

When Xander got to the back alley he found to human shaped shadow hovering over Cass who was laying passed out on the floor. Xander threw one of his chakrams, That cutting off one of the shadow heads.

“Nephalum.” The other shadow histed

“Shadow Demons” Izzy says, waking up next to Xander, her shank bracelet slithering into its whip form.

“You know this breed of demon?” Xander asks as his chakram flies into his hand.

“Ya, A shadow demon is formed from the very essence of evil on the Abyss”

“So why are they after Cass?”

“Good Question lets ask.” Izzy flicked her wrist and her whip gois flying out and wraps around the demons neck. The sound of burning flesh can be hard and smoke was coming from it's nick where the whip was.

“Adumis..” It cried out in pain.

“That's right big boy.” Izzy scoffed.

Xander dashes over to Cass wall Izzy toys with the demon. Cass layed there on the cold ground unconscious. Xander slowly moved her head to where it was laying on his lap. “Ruthie!!!” He cries out.

“Why are you after my Friend!” Izzy bracked yanking on the whip.

“Shape Shifter talks too much.” the demon answers in a raspy voice.

“Who sent you?”

“Why you ask us that you know already.”

“Sinara” Xander ground out from clenched teeth.

Finally Ruthie head made her way to the ally they all stood in. She crouched down next to Cass and began working on her. “It's going to be ok Xan I think she is just out cold.” Ruthie lays her med bag down and Xander places Cass hade on it. Within sacets Xander head drew his other chakram and shoved it deep into the demons left arm and head the other at its throat. Izzy eyes widened and shock then softened in respect.

“I am only going to ask this once. Why... does... Sinara... want... Cassandra... to... stop... talking...?” He drew out the words of that last sentence so that the demon knew he was not messing around.

“Gatekeeper Gatekeeper!” It shouted out in fear “No Kill me I only do my j…” It started to add but was cut off when Xander cut it's head off with his charkram.

“You will never lay a hand on her again!” Slowly he clipped his charkram to his hips and turned to see all three girls staring at him. He locked eyes with Cass and she smiled at him. He gave her a soft smile back.

“Umm what's a GateKeeper?” Ruthie asks, breaking the awkward silence.

“I am.” Cass answers. Ruthie and Izzy help her up

“Ok what's that mean Cass?” Izzy asks.

“It's an order that the Shadowhunters started but over the centrays Downworlders have joined. We have one simple job.” Cass says with a heavy sigh

“Guard the gates of hell.” Xander finishes for her. Cass only nods in agreement.

[judgement-free-sideblog]

Blood tears and sea breeze

Hi! I wrote this at 1:46 in the morning, in the middle of a night shift on a saturday and I have some things to say:

It took me so long to finish this story for many reasons, first of all I got a full time job at the hospital and we got a lot of covid and not covid patients so that was physically and emotionally draining. Secondly I just lost inspiration, my life became one responsibility over the other and I had no more time to me, so I went in autopilot mode and tried to do the best I could.

And suddenly the year ended and I realized how much I missed, and finally something wonderful and magical happened. The love of my life proposed to me and I felt alive again,

I change jobs, I'm now a Resident so now I'll have even less time than before but I have so much more hope for the future. So here it is the end, may we read each other again, but for now this the conclusion of this story, told in three parts because it became longer than I thought

************************

Warnings: ANGST, mental health issues, graphic depictions of violence, blood, cursing, mentions of sexual assault, mentions of sex, substance abuse.

Summary: The not so peaceful town of Broadchurch face dead again, while Alec Hardy continues his journey to redemption will this school teacher be the key to solve the mystery or just another victim of the ever watching evilness that seems to reside in the town.

First Previous Next Last

Chapter 21: Shadows...

The light inside the narrow corridor was flickering, maybe some old installation, how appropriate, the youngest of the Langfors thought, and old dusty and cold place, to keep the one responsible for all her tragedy.

Looking at her in the tiny space, covering her body with a blanket, she looked pathetic and yet she dare to have that stupid concerned look on her eyes, like she was the one about to go to jail, and not the other way around. Because her plan had worked, it all have worked out so perfectly, and now all that was left for Ash to do was saying goodbye.

Y/N was silent waiting for her to say anything, but she couldn't speak, no yet, she needed to see her like that, to keep in her mind that memory, she needed to remind the pain, because those were the only moments she felt alive.

"Was it something I did?" Y/N had a cautious tone, almost afraid to upset her, it was almost offensive, I'm not going to explode, she tought, I'm not a lunatic, but the familiarity of her concern pleased her. "How can I fix it?" Y/N plead and Ashley finally and looked at her, the fluorescent ceiling lamps gave the white room a blue shine but she was almost sure, as always, that the blue light was coming from her.

"It was just a card mommy" She said and before she could add something about how all the other children at preschool made one, the quick and hard stinging pain of a crop aimed at her side made her five year old body fall to the ground.

"Just a card? A card to a whoreson peasant" He and his stupid need to call himself royalty. There was no ounce of royal blood in him since at least three generations prior but he couldn't left it rest. "No daughter of mine will go around making a fool of herself by fraternizing with bastards in need, you are not some common whore and you will not bring shame to this house" he said about to strike another hit with the crop but she run, and left her room to the backyard, they will catch her in no time of course but she just wanted some air.

She didn't understand half of the words his father said, and definitely none of his stupid hate. She felt so alone, so sad and so empty, but she like it out there, she could look at the blue sky and the blue ocean meeting in the horizon, the beach was kilometers from her but was visible from her house, and specially she could see her, the tiny girl always happy and dancing with her mother and her older sisters, she was desperate to talk to her since she spotted her on day from her window, she wanted to know what she did to make her mother hold her like that, to make her father kiss her and give her presents every other day...

Ashley closed her eyes and shut the pain away like she always did, she needed to remember that pain, but then a tiny soft touch on her shoulder make her look up, there she was covered in a beautiful blue light, with a white dress, concerned look on her eyes.

"Why are you crying?" She asked, Y/N had jumped the fence from her house the moment she saw Ashley running. "Is it because your dress is torn? I can fix that, so your mommy won't be mad. Come on." She gave her a hand and she was sure she would never let her go, and for the years to come she didn't, until now.

"He was mine, and you took him, that's what you did" She said finally "Like you always do"

**********

"Forensics are on their way" Katie said once she entered the room again, the blood on the bodies looked fresh enough to know this was recent, other elements of the force have been there the day before arresting Langford and his sister said the parents where upset when she left them...

"Hey, what is a Baronet?" Derek asked, already gloves in hads and protectors on his feet "Is not like a actual royalty is it?"

"No, is the lowest rank and I think you have to pay for it and have land or something, why?" She asked putting on her gloves as well.

"A very old framed portrait of a guy, it says it's a baronet" He said showing it to her. A rapid Google search later and they found out that in fact Mr Langford's grandmother Dame Mildred Langford was the last Baronetess in their line, subsequently his father, Mildred's child born in 1946 chose to not keep the title and the nobility ended there.

There were many signals of adoration towards the woman, but very little towards his father.

"Langford is almost forty, so he was born around 1980, let's asume his father was 20 when he had him...Do you happen to know royalty gossip in broadchurch from the 1960s?" Katie said looking at the necks from the victims, there was a lot of hate and anger in there.

"No but I know someone who might" Ramos took out his phone and start calling "it may take a while, you should check the other room while I'm here... Hola tita? Como estas? Oye me pasas a tito por favor? It's a work thing please" Katie gave him a puzzled look. "My grandmother remarried to a English guy shut up!" He said while she exited the room. "Hola tito, I have a question for you"

The rest of the house was like the exterior, it surely had seen better days, old fashioned furniture and mold growing in some places, the only place remotely modern was in Langford's sister room, all pink an glittery, with 90s pop stars posters on the walls, the place was torn however, someone had been seeking something frantically there, Katie looked in the open window she could see next door house, smaller, and vacant but somehow happier. And in the backyard there was a pile of apparent garbage with flames and smoke coming out of it, with smoke still coming out of it and she run downstairs.

By the time she arrived at the backyard Ramos was already putting down the fire and trying to pick something before it was too late.

It was mostly old photographs in albums in the style of the framed picture in the livingroom. What probably were letters were now completely burn and in the middle of all the ashes there was a wooden box that miraculously haven't succumb to the fire yet.

*********

"Broadchurch police open now" Brian was about to tear the door down but nobody open, and even with Hardy screaming and putting out his gun the place looked abandoned.

"Looks pretty empty" Not only the deli but also the street, it was possible they hadn't open the whole morning "Are you sure she said the deli?" He said looking at the back alley next to the Trader's. But Brian didn't answer, he was trying the phone once again trying to reach her, and Hardy thought of how much would he loved to hear that stupid ringtone of Miller's phone when suddenly the muffled notes of the song he now will love for ever, whatever the fuck it was, came from behind the deli.

They rushed to the door of the back of the restaurant where they probably downloaded supplies and before they could agree on their actions they pushed the door down, of course it was empty apart from some vegetables but the sound was not coming from there, it was coming from behind the door of the freezer, where a fine line of light was coming maybe indicating the last hope they had.

They opened the door and Hardy's heart must be stronger than he had thought because he almost died with horror at the sight of Miller unconscious, with the skin completely pale, and the hair and her lashes covered in frost, with only a tiny mist coming out her mouth indicating she was still alive.

A millisecond after their initial shock they took her out and before she fall asleep again she was conscious enough to see both of the men she loved and to look at Alec and whisper a silent "Thank you"

****

"Maybe it would be easier if you told me how I stole him" you said, with the same tone you use to have for misbehaving children, specially since now you could not see an adult in front of you, only a very scared children, and very sorrow eyes. "I'm pretty sure I was already dating him when I introduce him to you and Charles, we were kind of apart at the time because of the Deli..."

"Oh you really are as stupid as you look don't you" she said irritated, but the superiority in her voice made you think she had bite, and she confirmed it when she continued "Do you happen to know how hard it is to win money with a Deli? Because I certainly don't, that restaurant and your idea of working there would have ruined me if it wasn't because I found a way to save myself"

She then proceeded to explain to you how she, Charles and that monster of a doctor that had treated you before worked together luring young rich men into buying rohypnol to drug innocent girls, only that the "innocent girl" in question happened to be a very alert and awake Ashley, so when they arrived at some hotel or secluded place Charles would extorsion them in order to "keep quiet" Easy money at expenses of creeps, and no victims, until she meet Jonathan.

"I texted Charles to let that one go, and we talked all night, I knew then and there that he loved me and that he was the one... he promised to call the next morning, but you have to appear, with your prudish routine, you stole the only man that ever loved me for me" she said and part of you believed her, but part of you was sure she was lying somehow.

"Then when we meet again he tried to denied it, he tried to pretend he didn't remember, he even proposed to you but at the end he couldn't keep it in for any longer and he came back to me" she said with an expression of triumph in her face like she was looking at something that was not there and for the first time since she arrived you felt angry at her, and disgusted by her smile.

****

"So Langford's father was a crazy old fuck, who hated his father's for loosing the title in order to be one with his people, apparently they have an old factory here in broadchurch, and all his workers love the man, when he died his child try by any means to regain the title and he lost the factory, the land and the family money, he only had this house... a tough environment to grow" Derek said once the box was safe out of the fire. "Also you are invited to my aunt Nicole's birthday party" he said a little embarrassed.

"Is your grandmother cooking? I'm in" Katie said casually while she tried to open the box and Derek relaxed immediately.

It opened with a click and inside it was a cellphone, with trembling gloved fingers she opened and realized it was Ashley's phone, there was the text she had seen so many days before, the one Jonathan sent before he died, she had an unopened voicemail so she checked it, it was a regular costumer asking why the deli was closed that day, but before she turned down again she went trough the saved messages it was only one.

"I know you won't listen, but I had to try" Jonathan Norbury's voice said he sounded tired and angry "I have been trying to make it easier for you so you won't get hurt but you left me no choice, I'm talking to Charles tonight, I'll give him his store back and I'm leaving Broadchurch in the morning, I'll go to London to set the venue..." He sighed as if he was about to do something painful "I love her Ash, I'm sorry but I do, I let my fear to disappoint my father drive me back to the alcohol and made you part of my mistakes, I should have never slept with you, I should have never let your brother near her... I'll marry her and I'll take her away from here... from you and your brother, and you can resume your life with Charles and your business, I won't involve the police as long as you left us alone, I promise, I know you, you are not as bad as you think you are, and you are worthy of love... it's only that I can not love you, I hate to said this to you but that night doesn't mean to me what it means to you, the girl of that night became a constant reminder of the life I needed to leave behind, of the man I don't want to be. I could had been you or any other woman that night and the result would have been the same, me going to AA and then to church and falling for her, because is only her, it's always been her and now I have to make it right. I'm sorry"

"Do you remember what they told us about what happened with the psychiatrist? The thing she did with her wrist?" Derek said while Katie's mind was racing with this new information cursing herself for not confiscating the phone the moment she first entered the station, she wasn't a suspect then, her conscience said but it was not enough

"About the bracelet?" She said rising her look surprised she could still process logical thoughts

"Did her mother had another one? You know like a pair or something?" He said completely serious.

"I don't know, maybe, why?" She asked looking at him.

"Because I think we have to arrest the Langford's for a whole new crime" he said giving her a picture of Charles next to a completely damaged car with an old couple dead inside, the woman was wearing a necklace that she immediately recognized as a pair to the bracelet she bagged as evidence so long ago, and even with the wounds the resemblance to Y/N was undeniable, those were her parents.

******

Miller woke up in a hospital bed with an IV on her arm and a lot of blankets and space heaters around her, Brian was there looking shocked at her and she had her heart full with joy for having him, but her sense of duty was bigger so before anything else she just asked "Where is Alec?"

"I'm trying really hard not to take this personally" Brian said almost angry "But is really hard to take you seriously when you look like a bloody burrito" he said pointing at the foil blanket over her "Shitface is out there"

"I'm sorry" She said immediately "I'm so glad you saved me, and I really love you now more than ever, but someone else's life is at risk and I need to talk to DI Hardy. We can discuss how much you hate him when we get home tonight ok?" She said and he was about to respond but the fact that she call his place home was enough to make him stand up and get Hardy inside.

"Is she awake?" He said desperately when he get inside and Brian exited the room not wanting to hurt his pride anymore, he trusted her enough and was enough in love to let her be. "How are you?" Alec said not sure if he could get closer.

"Don't mind me" She simply said like being nearly frozen to death was a regular Tuesday for her. "You have to get to the station quickly" she said pulling down most of the blankets and sitting on the bed. "Y/N is in danger, you were right she is innocent" she said and since Hardy didn't react immediately she add "And someone is about to kill her"

"How do you know?" He said and Miller couldn't help to notice the fear in his voice, he was already convinced she was innocent but he needed for her to tell him to make it real.

"The friend, it was her from the start and even before that... That woman is a monster. There is a sound recorder sewn inside my jacket, she confessed before tying me up and leaving me inside her stupid fridge" She said and show her two burning marks on her side "She used a teaser to knock me out, she knows her brother will break sooner or later so she choose to confess and tied all her lose ends"

"And she confessed to killing Jonathan and what else?" He asked and she was sure what he wanted to ask.

*****

"You should have told me" you said trying to buy time from her to think what to do next "If you knew he loved you so much you should have told me and I would have gladly go away... I have always wanted the best for you"

"Oh don't come at me with that ridiculous attitude, you knew we loved each other and what did you do?? You had to ruin everything, don't pretend now you don't remember" she said and suddenly everything became clear on your head

You were not mad that night because she left you alone in the dancefloor... but because you saw her kissing him, she was all over him and that stupid purple shirt, you were so mad at her, and you saw so much regret on his eyes but it didn't matter and you just wanted to get out of there, and then Charles came out of nowhere and you went out with him because you felt weird and weak and so confused...and then that happened, and by the time you wake up Jonathan was holding you so tightly and so lovingly that you chose to forget... as you had chosen to forget all those other times, you were sure now that that stupid voice in those videos was not you... and you pray for the forensics department to realize it was some cheap editing of your voice over your body... but you were certain you had actually slept with Charles just not as willingly as it seemed

You felt disgusted by yourself, and by those who claimed for so many years to be your friends, and you hate her so much in the way you can only hate someone you loved for so long and you had to ask because your heart was hurting so much.

"Why?"

She didn't answer, you where about to elaborate in the question because she had already told you why she killed him but she did understand you, she simply was looking for the answer

"Because you had everything I ever wanted"

****

Alec was driving as fast as he could, with Miller's story resonating on his head. Ashley Langford loved Y/N's life and hated her for a long time, when she was going away to Paris she thought she will finally take her place on her family.

But she soon realized that in Paris or in Broadchurch her parents would never stoploving her and she send Charles to mess their car, she saw them die, all because they decline her offer to live at their house when she left.

She was convinced Jonathan was in love with her since they met when he arrived at Broadchurch, but he rejected her when Y/N introduced them formally, maybe as Miller thought, he didn't even remember her. And then when they got engaged she found a way to get him drunk.

Their affair was simply disgusting, she will drug Y/N unconcious so she would sneak out with Norbury, assuring him Charles was simply watching her, but she needed to hurt her, to humiliate her, so she let Charlie take advantage of her over and over again until Jonathan found out at the club at the same time Y/N found out.

In the end Norbury had done the right thing and ended the affair. Hardy listen to the audio Harford sent him, and everything was becoming clear, now he only hope he will be on time.

****

"Do what you must then" You said "If this will make up for whatever it is I did to you... then just do it already" you said now ready to accept the end, and desperate to stop feeling this much hurt.

You thought one last time of DI Hardy, you may be innocent from the murder, but Ashley had made a good work destroying everything you care about and you felt so unworthy of him, even if she didn't killed you you could never look at him so it was better this way.

"No yet" she said and she reach inside her pocket, only now you saw she was holding a gun on her right hand "You knew your dear Alec is out of the case for getting too cozy with you?" Maybe when this is over I will visit him, I'm sure a man like him will be glad to have a women in his life after what happened to his friend Miller" She said and you fear the worst specially sin DS Miller had told you she thought Ashley may be involved in all of this "And after his little whore blow her brains out" she said. "Do you think Paul will say something for you? As far as I know suicidal people get no favors from church" every word she said was meticulously aimed to hurt, and she said them so casually that it almost felt spontaneous "Oh don't get anxious, your end is coming, but first you have to wear this"

You knew what it was before she finished her sentence, a delicate necklace just like the bracelet you longed for so many years, your mother had the necklace so you wouldn't feel alienated by having to wear it, you had given her the bracelet back so long ago and when she died it was never found... and you understand without her telling you that somehow she was responsible for them dying too. And the disgust for her and yourself turn to anger, to a primal need to erase her existence and she was there smiling and something broke inside your mind.

****

Alec was walking fast to the cells, ready to kill Ashley Langford but by the time he got to Y/N's cell he froze still as he saw Y/N extended her hand to take what seemed to be a necklace while Langford pointed her gun at her.

What happened next was so quickly that he almost didn't had time take his own revolver out. Y/N trembling hand became steady to take the necklace and she took Ashley by surprised by pulling her arm inside the cell and taking the pistol from her hand.

"Oh come on do it" Ashley said surprising Hardy and Y/N "Prove me and the world that you are not perfect, that you are as rotten and corrupted as me, come on kill me!" She said and Alec finally speak.

"She is not" he said loud enough for them to hear but he was not screaming. "The only corrupted and repellent creature here is you" he said approaching slowly trying to get Y/N's attention but she was still firmly holding bot the gun and Ashley "You are not like her" he said again.

"I told you detective that I never wanted to find out who did this because I was afraid of what I would become" she said and he was afraid for a second by the anger in her voice. "This ... woman" She said as if she wasn't sure she could call Ashley that "Took everything from me, my dignity, my reputation, my friends... even my family" she said with so much suffering in her voice that he only could flinch his fist inside his coat. Where the fuck was the other guard? "She took the man I loved... the man I thought that also loved me"

"She didn't" he said and took out his phone, he held it in front of him as he approached her and play the audio.

"That's a lie" Ashley start screaming, now completely unbalanced, "He loved me, he loved me!!!!" At the moment the words "it's only her" came out of the phone Y/N hand relaxed and Hardy use the opportunity to take the gun out of her hand and pull Langford aside, as the bloody security guard finally arrived, without hesitation he took the keys from his hand and opened the cell while the man carried a very disturbed Ashley away, and before Y/N could fall in the darkness and space out again he hold her against his chest.

"It's you, it's only you"

Tag list:

@allonsymexgirl @laciesaito @dazedkrosupreme @timey-wimey-lovi @coffees-and-constellations @ladyaziraphale @acid-gurkerl @moonuvert @tennantious @nonstoplover @locawriter @tf18unipups @dazedkrosupreme

[heloisedaphnebrightmore]

L&L - Chapter 16. Avoiding [Alec Lightwood x Reader]

Title: Love and Leather - Chapter 16. Avoiding ➔ Chapter 17. Here! Pairing: Alec Lightwood x Female!Reader Published: 23 June, 2020 Author: Heloise Daphne Brightmore Love and Leather Masterlist | Masterlists

The next couple of days, when you met Alec, you just acted normal. No more teasing, no more joking, no more extra attention on him. It was incredibly hard, but you weren't just known for your determination, but also for keeping your words. You promised to Alec not to get in his way and you were keeping yourself to that. When you met on the hall way or on the corridor you just said a simple "Hi!" to each other and just passed by. When you were eating together with Alec, Jace, Clary and Izzy, you put all of your attention on the last three mentioned. You didn't do it, because you wanted to be rude. You did it to help yourself get over him quicker. Which meant trying to close him out and avoid him as much as possible.

Talking about it seemed to be an easy task, but experiencing it was cruel reality. Seeing the person you have liked, dare to say maybe even felt more for, and trying to avoid him was a mission on its own. Especially when the person appeared every five minutes wherever you went.

At some point you were thinking that your behaviour had some effects on him as you were feeling like he was looking at you, almost like staring at you more often than ever.

But you just took it as your brain was playing a game with you. You just pushed those kind of thoughts to the back of your mind and locked them away for good.

You were preparing to go out at night as Magnus invited you to the Pandemonium with the others. This time it wasn't a private party though. You were just going clubbing, like a normal night out. You washed your hair, done your make up and laid out your cloths - chosen by Izzy - on your bed.

However before getting all ready, you put on some tracksuits to attend to the meeting Alec arranged, to discuss some things about the mission you were preparing for. The vampires were still causing issues and the other two teams have failed, therefore it was your turn to get into action. You walked to the hall, where everyone was waiting for you. Once again you seemed to be the last one to arrive which started to become an annoying habit of yours. You joined the table they stood around and nodded at the others as a form of greeting.

You tried completely closing out Alec's presence and tried to only focus on the information given. It was only a brief meeting about some of the last things to discuss as you had only 1 day left before you were all going on the mission.

When Alec finished his monologue and made sure that everyone understood the plan, all of you started leaving the hall to return to the rooms. However Jace had a different idea. He followed you and stopped you halfway the corridor.

"Y/N." He called our for you. You turned around to face him and looked at him questioning.

"Don't give up." He said, but he just made you so confused. You didn't have a clue on what he was talking about. "Don't give up on Alec." He clarified and you just rolled your eyes in response. "I am not joking or trying to make you feel upset. I am being genuine." He explained.

"And why are you coming to me with this?" You asked with bored tone.

"Because since you have stopped teasing him, he has changed." He smiled gently.

"Yay, I guess." Your sarcasm clearly showed your interest in the subject matter.

"I am being serious. He misses the attention you have given him." He continued enthusiastically.

"Buy him a dog then." You snorted and started walking away.

"I am telling you, since you have stopped hanging around him, he feels empty. He said it himself.  He has been looking at you all the time and it seems, this time it's you who doesn't realise it." You didn't want to believe him. It would have been too painful to. You were on the way to finally put Alec and your feelings behind you. Or at least to try harder. But then Jace ruined it. "He misses you." A gentle smile spread across his face as he said the last three words.

However for you, when you heard those particular three words, that was the last strike in the conversation. "Let's stop this discussion now. I do not want to ever hear about it, are we clear?" You were firm and waited for no answer. You have left the dumbfounded boy standing alone in the hallway and walked back to your room to get ready.

The conversation stirred something up in you and you felt like a heavy object was sitting across your chest. You wanted to forget the whole conversation that just happened between you and Jace, but how could you? You were giving up on him, in a way finally successfully, when Jace appeared with those ridiculous ideas. As if it was true. You were mad at him for trying to ruin the wall that you built back around you again.

It took you a long time to destroy it, but it was worth it because you gained new friends, a soul mate in your parabatai and a person you fell for, since you have left England. But it took you such a short amount of time to get it back. You were surprised that Jace thought that he could change you just by those few words, but he was clearly wrong. He shook you for sure, but it wasn't enough to turn back to the way you were especially as your words bound you. And what were you supposed to do anyway? Walk up to Alec and tell him that you knew he liked you? What a ridiculous idea. As much as you wanted to do that, you weren't confident in him when it came to your feelings. Hell, you weren't even confident about yourself. You decided to just forget about your conversation with Jace for now and let all the steam out in the party. You needed out and you needed a bit of fun.

Notes: If you enjoyed it, don’t forget to like the chapter. Thank you :)

[themerriweathermage]

Mors Vincit Omnia Pt. 4

The tension between Michael and Basil grows. But they're running out of time, because the Volturi's Elite Guard have tracked them down. Basil kills two of his coven mates before he'll let them take Michael and sends the other two back with a message for his coven heads.

Series Tag: @the-reformed-ringwraith​ @gossip-girl-of-middle-earth​

Forever Tag: @bonjour-rainycity

A/N:  I’ve taken another bit of Italian from Google Translate Il mio armore - My love Il mio Principe - My Prince

Warnings: Definitely OOC Michael, Basil begins to kill his coven mates

“Why won’t you stop me?” Michael finally asked the question. Basil has been chasing him for the last few weeks but he doesn’t seem interested in actually stopping Michael from utterly destroying the people around him.

“Your destruction is unhinged and I find it very beautiful.” Basil murmured. He was currently basking in a spot of sunlight, his dark clothes soaking up the warmth of the sunlight. His head was thrown back, light glimmering off the exposed skin, making him look rather ethereal.

“So... you don’t indulge in the blood? Do you eat something else?”

“Some vampires can. I’m simply older; I don’t require the same diet schedule that you newborns do. The rules of the ancients are a little bit looser; I can go up to two months without eating and still maintain my strength.”

“So blood doesn’t tempt you.” Basil opened his eyes.

“I didn’t say that. I know how to control my thirst though.”

“What’s it like living in a coven?”

“Boring.” Basil closed his eyes again, though he could feel Michael creeping closer; the scent of blood shifted closer on the wind. “Don’t do it, Michael.” He warned.

“I can’t help that you’ve tempted me.” Michael grumbled.

“I know what you want; the answer is no.” Because I want it too. Basil doesn’t voice the rest of the thought. He opened his eyes again when something warm and wet splattered against his face. There was blood dripping from Michael’s fingers; he’s certainly made a mess of his current meal and Basil sets his jaw because as of the moment, entirely nothing is more arousing than the sight of the lovely amber haired vampire absolutely drenched in blood. “You’re in my light.” Michael was standing over him, blood dripping from his chin, from in between his teeth, and Basil knew that it was intentional, unmistakably intentional. But he ignored the lust, quashing it down.

“Is that all you have to say to me? That I’m in your light?”

“What you want, Michael, I can’t give to you.” Basil replied. “Trust me, il mio amore , you don’t want it.”

“He doesn’t want what?” Jane’s voice chirped through the air. “He doesn’t want what, Basil?”

“Careful, Jane.” Alec’s voice sounded beside her. “Il mio Principe.” A gloved hand seized Michael and pushed him behind Basil’s form, now standing, towering tall.

“He doesn’t want what, Basil?” She asked again.

“I don’t particularly find that any of your business.” Basil replied. “Don’t you get tired of being Aro’s lapdogs?”

“It’s Lord Aro to you.”

“I outrank him.” Basil bared his teeth, fangs coming to light. “I’m not in the mood.”

“Yes, I hear not eating will do that to you.” Jane’s voice grated on Basil. “But I don’t think that’s why. You see, I think you were about to get a little frisky with your target.”

“I could only wish.” Basil whispered.

“So you admit it. Have you been fraternizing this whole time? Lord Aro will not be pleased. You’ve been careless, Basil, and your target even more so.”

“I don’t give a rat’s ass about what Aro thinks. You’d better leave, Jane; you’d better leave now.” Basil warned.

“You wouldn’t dare... Captain.” Jane spat at his feet. “Traitor, more like it.” She stepped forward and Basil tensed, and that was enough to send Michael hurtling past him, teeth bared and nails outstretched. Michael sank to the ground, his screams of agony echoing in the forest and time slowed for half a moment before Jane was shred into pieces across the forest floor and Alec was slumped over. Michael watched the light die from Alec’s eyes and realized then that Basil’s hands were ungloved, and that he spurred through the pain and killed the two vampires that were there to confront them.

“Don’t you get it now? That even the slightest touch could kill you?” Basil asked. His back was still turned to Michael. His head bowed to his chest for a moment. “They will send more.” His eyes locked with the stunned faces of Felix and Demetri beyond the cover of the forest. “They will be met with death. I suggest you choose your alliances wisely, gentlemen.”

“Do you think your Father will let you get away with this?”

“You may bear the message back to my coven that those who come for me, that those who come for Michael, will be met with death.” Basil replied.

“Apollo will come for you.” Demetri murmured.

“Let the Plague-bringer strike. He may not like the results he reaps.” They both backed away, vanishing in the shadows, and Basil picked up his gloves, sliding the leather back on. Michael was still on the ground, stunned, and Basil cupped his cheek gently, fingers stroking down his jaw.

“You’re the God of Death.” Michael finally managed his voice.

“Or so I’m called.” Basil replied flatly. “They won’t lay hands on you. I’ll make sure of it.” He whispered quietly. “I’ll protect you.”

“Why?”

“Why do you think, Michael? I was envious of you, at first. You had all this freedom; for all that I was a Prince, I was stuck in a castle. You’re unhinged and volatile, and the path of destruction you’ve carved is beautiful, and if only I could have such a freedom. I had hoped that by being near you, I could live vicariously through you, but instead... it seems you’ve claimed yet another heart from your victims.” Michael sat quietly with this information.

“Come. They’ll be looking for us.”

[visander]

A Losing Game (6/6).

It all ends. 

You can read this chapter on ao3 here. The wonderful art featured below was done by @thelightofthebane​ and by beta for this event was @bamf-alec​​.

Chapter Six:

Part of Magnus expected they’d walk inside to find a deceptively empty warehouse moments before they’d be ambushed. Yet when they went inside, Camille was just standing there, waiting for them. Magnus hadn’t seen her in person in so long, but she hadn’t aged a day since he’d last seen her. Sure, it had only been a few years, but Camille was older than him.

Shouldn’t she look older now? But no, standing before him she looked like she always had. She was beautiful and alluring. She looked nothing like the poison that Magnus knew twisted within her. She smiled and all he saw were teeth. How had he not seen how fake that was all those years ago? How had he ever looked at her and thought that she was kind and smart?

Camille was flanked by people, but Magnus hardly even looked at them. They’d known they were outnumbered. He didn’t need to take inventory here to verify that, but there was a twist of movement in the background that had his eyes narrowing instantly. 

It was Simon, though he didn’t recognize him at first. His hands were tied behind his back and someone was holding him there with a minimal amount of effort as Simon struggled feebly. His face was covered in blood. He wasn’t terribly hurt, but his nose was obviously broken and it seemed it had bled for a while before stopping. It was hard to tell if he was hurt otherwise. It looked like he had a bruise across his left cheek, but even that was hard to verify the severity of from this far away and with so much blood.

Regardless, he was struggling and it didn’t look as if he’d been shot or stabbed or had his legs broken or any number of the horrible things Magnus was sure Raphael and he both had been imagining on the way here. Simon was alive and right now, he wasn’t dying. That meant they weren’t too late. 

Magnus’ eyes darted back to Camille as she opened her mouth. Her words were smooth and calming. They didn’t match the situation at hand at all. Once, that had calmed Magnus. Once, she’d made him think everything was under control when he really should have been running far away. Now, Magnus knew better, but it was too late to be running from anything. 

“Magnus, Raphael—” Camille’s eyes flickered over them as she spoke before finally landing on Alec with apt interest. She seemed very interested in the fact that Alec was holding a gun in his hands.  She took a few steps forward towards him, as if the weapon hardly even mattered.

Rationally, Magnus supposed it didn’t. They’d all be shot the moment she said the words. Who cared if one of them managed to shoot a bullet off in return? The odds of it landing before they were dead was slim. 

“Alexander,” Camille murmured. Her eyes glistened and Magnus’ spine straightened instantly. 

He realized all at once that he should not have brought Alec with him. It didn’t matter what Camille said. He and Raphael should have come alone and tried to grab Simon by themselves. Magnus had just been thinking that one more person had to help them. Alec knew how to shoot a gun. Alec knew how to protect himself. He was an asset and Camille wouldn’t shoot them for bringing him, like she’d asked. 

But Camille had wanted him to come for a reason and it wasn’t because he’d make it harder for her. Magnus’ eyes darted over to Alec and he felt a slow sinking horror in his stomach. Why the fuck hadn’t he told Alec to stay home? Why hadn’t he sent Alec somewhere, anywhere else? Alec could have gone to the police. He’d have been safe there, regardless of what happened here.

Magnus knew by one look at the expression on Camille’s face as she looked at Alec that Alec wasn’t safe here. She’d wanted Magnus to bring him and he had, without thinking, but he didn’t have time to regret it. Alec was here. He couldn't send Alec away now. Camille would have him shot before he even reached the door. 

He wasn’t sure if Raphael thought the same. He didn’t think so. Raphael was thinking about one thing and that was getting Simon away and back to safety. He wouldn’t have cared if they were walking into their certain death. For Simon, there would have been no other option.

Magnus had thought so too, but standing here now, he realized he did have another option. He had a lot of other options and instead of doing anything of them, he’d landed the three of them here, standing before Camille exactly where she wanted them.

For the first time, Magnus had the feeling that so much more was going on here than he’d realized. How had Alec just so happened to be hired by Camille that night? How had Alec just happened to be working, when Camille probably knew they’d hit the place? Why had Camille waited so long to do this, when he was realizing she could have put an end to them whenever she wanted?

They’d thought they were so smart. They’d thought they had her outplayed the whole time. They’d thought that this was their game, their revenge, but he was realizing all at once that they’d never had any control over any of this. Camille had just let them think they did. 

“Give him to me,” Raphael snapped. Apparently, they were skipping any warm greetings. 

Camille’s eyes slid over to Raphael. She gazed at him evenly, a vague look of distaste on her face. “Why?” she asked finally. She sounded bored. 

Raphael started forward like he was going to push past her and to Simon who was still so far away. Someone stepped out, blocking Raphael’s path. Magnus had a terrifying moment of thinking that Raphael was going to try to push past them anyway, but at the last moment he stilled. His eyes didn’t leave Simon’s for a second. 

Magnus dared a glance over. Simon looked terrified. At least Alec knew how to handle a gun and keep the fear Magnus was sure he was feeling off his face. Simon knew nothing. Simon was just a happy, bubbly kid who didn’t deserve to be caught up in any of this. 

This was Raphael’s biggest fear. This had always been Raphael’s biggest fear. He’d always been so okay with dying, but he’d done everything he could to keep Simon safe. The only thing he’d ever wanted to do was keep Simon safe and now, they were here and Simon had a gun point at his head, ready to shoot him if Camille felt so inclined. 

Raphael’s jaw tightened. “What do you want?” he asked, tearing his eyes away from Simon long enough to look over to Camille again, who stood regarding the entire situation as if it were an amusing sitcom playing out in front of her. 

Magnus wasn’t sure if that was better than her being bored. At the very least, if she was amused, she wouldn’t kill them. 

Camille seemed to ponder the question for a moment. “Well, what do you have?” she asked finally. She cocked her head and it was obvious it was a rhetorical question. They had nothing for her. Nothing at all. They had nothing she wanted and nothing she needed. In fact, they’d gone out of their way to become a huge pain in her ass. The biggest thing she could need would be them dead and Magnus was more than aware of it.

“You kill my people, you ruin my stuff, you walk around tarnishing my name all across the city to anyone who will listen to you.”

Magnus remembered vividly every moment in which they’d done just that. Killing the people Camille hired at the warehouse that night was just the most recent plot they’d enacted to make her life a little harder, but they’d been doing it for years. They took every chance they could to fuck things up for her. 

It was all a game. Even they’d known it. Camille kept herself well protected and it was all a game to piss her off until they could finally put a bullet in her head. They’d never considered what would happen if she got sick of them before that. They’d never thought they’d be in a position to have to consider anything Camille might think. 

“What can you really offer me now?” she pondered. “A promise you’ll leave me alone? Well, that would be too easy, wouldn’t it? And you’d never keep to it.”

Magnus opened his mouth. “We have money. You can take it. Anything we ever took from you, you can have it back.” 

Camille’s eyes darted to him. She didn’t need money. She didn’t need her stuff back and they all knew it. “What did you think was going to happen?” she asked curiously. She ignored his offer entirely. “Did you think you had the upper hand? Did you think I didn’t stop you because I couldn’t?” 

There was silence after she spoke and that was enough of an answer for all of them. 

“You were always such a stupid kid, Magnus. I thought you’d outgrow it. Apparently, I was wrong.” Camille’s eyes darted over to Alec. “I hired him on purpose, did you know that?” Her eyes flickered back over to Magnus. “You knew to hit that place because I wanted you to know. I hired him and I put him there that night, just to see what you’d do. I was curious if you’d shoot him like you did the rest of his little friends. What crime did those people commit to deserve death, Magnus? Unknowingly being hired by a monster to do their job? That was enough for you to condemn them all to death, just to slightly inconvenience me?”

Camille’s eyes flickered over to Alec again. No one spoke. Even Simon had stopped struggling. “But it wasn’t enough for you to shoot him. You do realize how hypocritical that is, don’t you, Magnus? You hate me for killing your friend, so you murder innocent people to get back at me.” 

“You murder innocent people everyday,” Magnus snapped suddenly. It didn’t matter if she was right. Who was Camille to talk to him about any kind of wrong doing he’d ever partaken in? She’d done worse than him for far longer. 

Camille hardly blinked. “I do. We’d have worked well together, if you hadn’t gotten so upset when your friend died. Ragnor, was it? I bet you blame me for that too, but you’re the one who brought him to me. What were you expecting to happen?”

Magnus bristled at the reminder and his stomach twisted. He spat,“You shot him for no reason. He didn’t do anything.” 

Camille hummed softly. “I killed your friend because I was curious what you’d do,” she said after a long moment of silence.

She continued, “You used to pride yourself on your outstanding moral compass. You didn’t want to hurt anyone. You wanted to help people, but all it took for that to change was for me to shoot your friend. Do you know what a good person would have done in that situation, Magnus?” Camille paused for just a moment, but no one opened their mouth to speak. “A good person would have gone to the police. A good person would have pled their case, even knowing they’d be charged with a crime they didn’t commit. A good person would not have killed dozens of innocent people, just to get back at one person. It didn’t matter how many people you killed that were vaguely connected to me. You were never going to bring Ragnor back to life and a good person would have known that.”

“So, where does that leave us now?” Camille asked. She turned, surveying the room casually before her eyes returned to Magnus. “I let you play your game for a while. I was curious how far you’d go, but you thought you were so close. You thought it was just a matter of time before you’d kill me and win. What would you have done after?” she questioned curiously.

Magnus didn’t answer. He knew what he would have done after. He’d have stopped. He’d have stayed with Alec. Maybe, they’d have moved somewhere out of the country, where Magnus wouldn’t have to pretend he’d died. But there was always a chance that that was all just a fantasy. Maybe, they would have stayed in New York and Magnus would have never stopped. He knew better than anyone that there would always be one more thing to help Raphael with. There would always be one more hit, one more incident demanding his attention. 

Maybe a year down the line Alec would beg him to stop and Magnus wouldn’t listen. There was a lot that could have happened and a lot of ways his fantasy of living a perfect life with Alec probably would have gone wrong.

“Well, it doesn’t matter anyway,” Camille concluded finally. “This was fun for a while and now it’s not anymore. Now, you’ve started to become a major pain in my ass and that will not do.”

Camille turned and gestured behind her. The man holding Simon shoved him suddenly. Simon staggered a few feet before falling to his knees. His hands were still tied behind him, so he almost face planted the ground as he fell. 

No one even had a chance to move. No one had a chance to say anything. Simon didn’t even have time to react. One moment, he was fine and in the next, the man that was holding Simon in place lifted his gun. He held it steadily for just a moment before he pulled the trigger without hesitation. 

Simon fell to the ground in a mess of blood. His dark, curly hair covered his face and Magnus was thankful for it. Raphael didn’t need to see his face, not like that. 

Magnus knew instantly that Simon was dead. The bullet had gone in the back of his skull and out the other side. There was no chance he’d survived and when he laid against the ground and didn’t even take in a final, shuddering breath, Magnus looked away.

At least he’d died quickly. He had seen so many that hadn’t. 

No one reacted but Raphael. In the back of Raphael’s throat, he heard a soft choking noise. The gun he was holding clattered to the ground uselessly and Raphael was on his knees before anyone could move, pulling Simon up and into his lap. 

Simon’s head fell to the side. His dirty, bloody hair fell away. His face wasn’t even in one piece anymore, but Raphael pressed his hand to it anyway, as if he could push Simon back together and force all the blood to go back inside him.

Magnus wished Raphael hadn’t moved. He wished Raphael had stood there and made himself not react. This was what Camille wanted. This is what she enjoyed, but Magnus also knew that Raphael was kneeling, holding his entire world in his now bloodied hands. 

He knew what that felt like. He remembered kneeling, holding Ragnor in his arms as he took his last few pained breaths. Ragnor had died quickly, but when he’d hit the ground he’d still been alive and in those moments between Magnus grabbing him and him dying, the world had seemed to halt.

Magnus could have held him for just a few seconds. It could have been an hour. To this day, he wasn’t sure. The only thing he remembered was brushing back Ragnor’s hair, pressing his hand over the wound in his neck and yelling for Camille to call someone for help.

He wasn’t sure why he’d done that. It should have been obvious that Camille would do no such thing. She was the one who’d shot him. Of course she wasn’t going to call anyone to help. All she’d done was stand there and watch, her face entirely blank, emotionless. 

Camille did not look emotionless now. Now, she looked delighted.

Magnus dared a glance over to Alec and saw that he’d turned completely white. His eyes were locked on Simon and one might think Alec was unaffected, if it weren’t for the horror in his eyes that gave him away. He looked like he might throw up.

Alec had never seen anyone die before. Alec had never had to watch something like this. He gripped his gun tight enough that his knuckles had turned as white as his face and Magnus wondered for the first time if he’d be able to shoot that gun, if he needed to. Being trained on how to use it was very different from firing it at someone and knowing you were ending their life.

Magnus still remembered how horrified he’d been the first time he’d seen Camille shoot someone. He remembered how horrified he’d been when Camille had made him shoot someone for the first time. He remembered thinking he’d never do it again, but how many more had come after and how quickly had he gotten used to it? Camille was right. Watching Ragnor die had changed everything for him. After that, he was no longer the horrified kid who couldn’t stomach the thought of someone dying because of him. After that, he didn't care anymore.

Nothing else had mattered. The world thought he was a murderer and then, dead. Ragnor was dead. Alec was gone. Magnus was a shapeless, nameless ghost. He’d felt, and still did, that his actions had no consequences. How could they when no matter what, the two best things in Magnus’ life were gone? It was only them and Camille. Everyone else meant nothing. They were just pawns in a game they’d never agreed to play.

Alec was just a pawn in a game he’d never agreed to play and Magnus knew he was going to die for it, just like Simon had. 

“I’ll work for you,” Magnus murmured softly. If he expected some reaction from Raphael at the blasphemy of his words, he received none. He knew that Raphael no longer cared. If Raphael didn’t die here, he would soon. There was not a place in the world for Raphael Santiago here if Simon wasn’t at his side. Maybe, if they survived, he’d make it through the funeral. Maybe after, he’d shoot himself or let someone else do the job.

Magnus wasn’t sure, but he did know that Simon wasn’t coming back to life and Raphael was as good as dead. His offer was not for Raphael. His offer was for Alec and she knew it. 

“Just don’t kill him. Please, Camille,” he begged.

Camille turned to him slowly. She raised an eyebrow and appeared to think about it for a moment, but Magnus knew she’d already made up her mind. She’d known Magnus would offer. She’d known he’d do anything to save Alec and the only thing he had to offer was himself.

“And what, he goes back to his life? He pretends to have amnesia about what happened to him over the past few weeks?” Camille paused, taking a moment to eye Alec holding the gun. “Or were you hoping I’d take him too? Take you both back into my flock after you’ve gone out of your way to mess things up for me so badly?” 

Magnus didn’t answer. He didn’t have an answer. Yes. Yes to all of it. As long as she didn’t kill Alec, he didn’t care. He and Alec would figure it out. Alec knew how to use a weapon. He could hold his own, if Camille would accept him. Anything would be better than Alec dying here because of him. Anything would be better than him dying exactly like Ragnor had, like Simon had. 

“You know I can’t do that,” Camille murmured. Her words were soft and deceptively kind. Magnus felt his resolve break at them. He was so stupid. He should have never taken Alec to begin with. There were so many things he could have done instead. He could have left Alec here the day they’d killed everyone. Alec could have made up a story. He could have been a lucky survivor. Magnus could have shot him too. That would have been kinder than all of this. That would have been kinder than torturing him by making him stay, torturing them both by making them think that they had even an ounce of a chance of making it together. 

The day Ragnor died, Magnus had died too. It was just a matter of time before Camille took him out and he was only ever alive because she allowed it. Thinking they could beat her was a fantasy. Thinking there was any place in this world for him and Alec to be happy was just a fantasy.

Magnus should have shot him that day and been done with it, but Alec had always been the one thing that he made stupid decisions for. He was about to make another one of those right now. 

He raised his gun. It was loaded. The safety was off and before anyone could react, he fired. A moment later, the world dissolved into chaos. He wasn’t even sure if he hit her, but he didn’t get to fire again because the gun was ripped out of his hands. There were arms grabbing him and before Magnus knew it, he’d been hit across the face with a rifle. 

There was blood running down Magnus’ forehead but he hardly even felt it. The world went fuzzy around the edges and before he knew it, he was on his knees with his arms locked behind his back. There were two men standing on either side of him. There was a gun pressed against the back of his head. 

He was sure that the same treatment was happening to Alec, but he couldn’t look over to see him. His view was blocked. He had just a moment to wonder what Camille was going to do about Raphael when another gun went off.

He didn’t even know who shot it. He didn’t see if it was Camille or someone she’d signaled to, but the moment he heard the noise, he knew what happened even before he watched Raphael drop to the ground. He’d been clutching Simon’s body close, like he could protect him, but Simon was already dead and as Raphael fell forward, Magnus could see that he was as well.

Camille didn’t care about Raphael. That wasn’t who she was here for. That wasn’t who she was having fun with. She shot him exactly like she’d shot Simon, exactly like she’d shot Ragnor so long ago — as if they were nothing, as if they’d never mattered at all.

Magnus’ eyes found Camille again. She had a hand over her arm. There was blood gushing out and it took him a moment to even realize that he had shot her. He’d been trying to shoot her in the head or even the chest but he’d failed on both accounts. He couldn’t help but let a laugh bubble from his lips.

He’d shot her in the arm. The arm. Magnus knew with that one mistake that he’d just sealed his and Alec’s deaths. Camille looked up at him and cocked her head, a phantom smile flickering across her face. Blood was gushing out of her and streaming down her arm to the floor that Magnus had splattered with his own blood not too long ago. 

It was almost poetic. Everything in his life had come full circle, until he landed here. How many people had he done this to? How many people had he held down and then shot without a moment of consideration? 

Magnus hated her so much. Some deep part of him would always blame her for everything. If he had never met her, if he’d never started working for her, if she’d never killed Ragnor, everything would be different. Magnus would be different. He’d have been a different person, one who cared about what was just and right, one who protected people. He’d have been a good person. All he’d ever wanted in life was to be a good person. How had he failed so miserably? 

“That wasn’t very nice of you,” Camille murmured. Magnus saw those pretty lips that had once leaned in to kiss him just before someone was moving towards him and kicking him in the face. 

Magnus choked on a noise in the back of his throat, but he couldn’t even cry out. He felt his teeth shatter on a steel toed leather boot and when he bent over, sagging in the arms holding him up, he watched beyond his bleary eyes as chunks of white fell to the dirty floor, splattered with his blood. 

When Magnus’ ears stopped ringing, he could hear Alec talking. He couldn’t even hear what he was saying, but he wanted to snap at him regardless. Shut up, Alec. Shut up, shut up - then he heard what Alec was actually saying and his entire heart sank. Shut up, Alec, but Magnus’ lip was swollen and bleeding. He was pretty sure he’d managed to bite his tongue and even if he tried to speak, he didn’t imagine it would be very intelligible. 

“Please, don’t hurt him,” he heard Alec beg. His voice broke and Magnus could hear the pure desperation in it. Alec didn’t understand though. He knew Camille, but he’d never known her like Magnus had. He didn’t understand that Camille would have no sympathy. She wanted Alec to beg. She liked it. She’d use it to her advantage and she most certainly wouldn't stop just because Alec wanted her to. 

Camille motioned with her hand and Magnus didn’t have another moment to prepare himself before he was being kicked in the face again and then again.

Magnus had been hurt before. Fuck, he’d been tied up and hurt before he’d never been hurt like this - with such a ruthless abandon that it was obvious no one cared if he lived or died because of Camille’s punishment. 

People had used him as leverage before. They’d needed him alive. 

Camille didn't need anything from him and it was obvious. In that moment, everything hurt so bad that he felt something in him break. He could think of nothing beyond the pain of it all. He could think of nothing besides wanting it to stop, needing it to stop, and knowing that it wouldn’t.

Alec was screaming. Magnus could hear him struggling and yelling as loud as he could, begging Camille to stop, telling her to hurt him instead, telling her to leave him alone, please.

At some point, he was sure they’d stopped kicking him in favor of punching him. His eyes were so swollen that he could barely see, but he knew it was the case because he felt the hands grabbing him by the shirt to yank him upwards just to drop him again when a fist connected with his face. 

Eventually, they threw him to the ground. He landed on his hands, watching blood fall from his face to the dirty concrete floor which he could hardly see. He heard Camille’s heels clicking on the ground as she walked and when he forced his eyes up, he saw her approaching Alec, who was still being held in place on his knees.

There wasn’t a hair out of place on his head, but Magnus didn’t imagine that would remain true for very long. He felt the panic rise inside him. He wanted to stumble to his feet. He wanted to rush at Camille and do anything to keep her eyes on him and away from Alec. 

Magnus’ hand twitched. His gun was still on the ground where it had been thrown. If he could just reach it…

He dove for it suddenly, but only made it a few inches before there was a boot crushing down on his hand, grinding it into the concrete. He heard the sickening snap of his knuckles and the delicate little finger bones in his hand breaking before he even felt the pain of it.

Magnus had known he wouldn’t get the gun. They’d left it there just out of his reach to see if he’d try. He should have known better, but for Alec’s sake he’d tried anyway. He’d have let them break every bone in his body if it might mean he’d have even the slimmest chance at saving Alec.

When Camille crouched before Alec, she had a look on her face like she’d come across something spectacular. Magnus wished he could punch that look right off her, but his punching hand was broken and he’d never been very good with his right hand anyway.

“Did you know that I wanted Magnus to take you home?” Camille asked softly. “If he hadn’t, I’d probably have let this go on for so much longer. I might have even let him live. All he had to do was send you away or kill you and none of this would have happened, but he took you, just like I knew he would. How could I pass up this opportunity after that?”

Camille reached out and her dark finger trailed across Alec’s cheek. He flinched away from the touch, but the arms holding him didn’t let him move far. “This was so much more fun than just killing them. Magnus is so stupid for the people he loves. I knew this would be interesting.” 

Alec stared warily and terrified. He didn’t seem to be taking in any of Camille’s monologue because after a moment, Alec spoke. “My family has money,” he said softly. Magnus could hear the fear in his voice even though he could barely see him. It was a reasonable offer. Alec’s family did have money, a lot of it, but Camille had no use for Alec’s money. She had more than enough of her own and even if she didn’t, Magnus was sure she’d much rather enjoy killing them than get anything tangible out of it.

“I don’t need your money, Alexander,” Camile cooed. She almost sounded kind when she spoke to him, like she was speaking to a small child who didn’t yet understand the circumstances they’d found themself in. Magnus was an adult to be kicked swiftly. Alec was merely a child to her, someone caught up in all of this who didn’t exactly deserve it, but who would die anyway.

Camille reached out with one hand and pressed it gently across his cheek. She touched him tenderly and Alec froze at the touch, staring with desperate eyes. He didn’t know what was happening. He still thought there was a chance they’d be okay. He thought this show of kindness from Camille might mean something different for them. He didn’t understand her. He didn’t understand that Camille had known what she’d do to them the moment they walked inside.

Camille’s hand dropped from Alec as she rose to her feet. She turned away from him and Magnus knew in that moment that she was done with him. He knew the second she turned away what was about to happen. Magnus lunged forward before she could even speak, but he was shoved back down into place before he made it anywhere. A noise came from Magnus’ throat, desperate and keening. 

He needed to stop her. He needed to do something. “Camille,” Magnus spoke desperately, his voice rising with panic.

Camille didn’t even turn to look at him. She merely smirked. 

Magnus didn’t have a chance to say anything more before Camille was speaking. “Shoot him,” she said simply. 

It was only a second between her words and Magnus watching as a gun went off, the same gun held to the back of Alec's head. Alec slumped forward instantly. He probably hadn’t heard what Camille said before it happened, let alone had a second to process it. A bright red puddle slowly started to spread out from under him, forming quicker than Magnus thought it should. 

Magnus had seen enough people die to know that Alec wasn’t getting up, but none of those people he’d watched die had been Alec. He should have known better, but he didn’t. He froze as he stared, waiting for Alec to move. He waited for him to gasp in a pained breath or lurch on the ground, showing any sign that he was still alive where he laid, but Alec didn’t move, not even an inch. 

He was dead and part of Magnus knew it. Part of him had known that Alec would die for a while now, even if he desperately tried to think of a way out of it. They were all dead the moment they walked inside. Magnus had been expecting it, but that didn’t mean it was any easier to process. 

He couldn’t be dead. Alec couldn’t die, not here, not like this, not before Magnus. It was wrong. The entire situation was wrong. Alec wasn’t supposed to die. Alec was never supposed to die, not here, not because of Magnus, not like this. 

Magnus didn’t sob. He didn’t scream even if he wanted to, but a quiet shudder worked its way through him and before he knew it, there were tears dripping down his face, falling silently to the ground. 

Magnus didn’t want to think about it. He didn’t want to think about Alec. He didn’t want to think about any of it. He just wanted it all to be over already, but his mind flickered back to the first time he met Alec anyway. He couldn’t even remember what had happened. He just remembered that they’d been in school together and Magnus had been enamoured with him from the first moment they met. 

In his mind, he saw Alec young and alive as he stared at him lying lifeless on the ground. He remembered Alec with his lanky, awkward limbs, not yet grown into his body, his messy hair and his soft cheeks. He'd smiled shyly at first and Magnus hadn’t even known how beautiful it would be the first time he got to see that brilliant blinding grin on Alec’s face He remembered Alec’s arm around him. He remembered wearing his jacket. He remembered Alec kissing his cheek and blushing after, neither of them too sure if the soft kisses were welcome or if the other found it all far too corny.

Magnus wanted to spend forever there. He wanted to spend forever in that life, when he’d had no clue what was coming, when he'd thought he’d be with Alec forever, when he’d thought that there was nothing that could possibly rip them apart. That’s what Magnus’ life was supposed to be like. That’s how it was supposed to be forever, just him and Alec and nothing else that mattered half as much.

Magnus would do anything to go back there. He’d do anything to do it differently. He’d never have started working for Camille. He’d never have let Alec leave his side. He’d kiss Alec everyday and at every chance he could and he’d let nothing pull them away from each other, not even for a moment. But Magnus couldn’t go back. That wasn’t how the world worked and kneeling here with Alec’s dead body just a few feet away from him, the only thing Magnus could hope for now was that they’d get another chance. 

Some people believed in reincarnation. Maybe, they’d be reincarnated and some other version of Magnus would meet Alec and be enamoured with him all over again Maybe, that Magnus would be better. Maybe, he’d try harder. He’d be a better person and he’d work to deserve even an ounce of happiness with some other version of his Alexander.

Magnus had never believed in reincarnation. He wished he could. He wished that he could believe in any of it but, deep down, Magnus knew that he wasn't going to get another chance. This had been his one chance with Alec. This had been his one chance with it all and the only thing he’d ever done in his life was hurt a lot of people and end up getting his best friend and the love of his life killed. 

Maybe, there was a heaven and Alec would be going there. Magnus knew he’d deserve it, but if any of that was true, he also knew that he would not be meeting Alec in the same place. Alec had always seen something in him that didn't exist. He’d always seen something good, but that wasn’t who Magnus was.

Magnus wondered if Alec realized it in the end. He wondered if he’d realized just before he’d been killed how horrible Magnus had always been. He wondered if it had all fallen into place for Alec, like it had for Magnus with Camille. He wondered if he’d just realized that the person he loved hadn't really existed. The Magnus Bane that deserved Alec’s love had only existed in his head. 

Magnus wondered if Alec had regretted loving him, just before it was over. He knew he’d deserve it, if he had, but Alec was dead and he couldn’t even ask. Maybe that was better anyway. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to know the answer or not. He was pretty sure he didn’t. 

Magnus only tore his eyes away from Alec when Camille walked over to him. He didn’t want to stop looking. He wanted the last thing he ever saw to be Alec, even the twisted grotesque version of him that was laying dead on the ground, but he couldn’t help his eyes from jumping to Camille anyway. 

She walked towards him slowly and he could see even through his swollen, bleary eyes that she was smiling. She was pleased. This was playing out exactly like she’d wanted it to. This was exactly how she’d planned for all of this to go. It was only Magnus who’s world was ending. 

Camille crouched before him. She didn’t reach out to touch him like she had Alec and Magnsu was thankful for it. For a moment, they both stared at each other and neither of them said a single thing until Camille finally murmured, “We’d have worked so well together. You realize that, right?” 

Magnus could have laughed. Of course, that’s what she’d be thinking about. She’d be thinking about how many people they could have killed together, how many lives they could have ruined if Magnus had just run into her arms instead of running away when Ragnor died. 

“I’d never have worked for you. Not after I knew what you were,” he spit instantly. 

Camille eyed him for a moment before her eyes flickered over to Alec on the floor. Slowly, she looked back to Magnus and cocked her head. “I think we both know that’s not quite true.”

Magnus said nothing, but he knew she was right. He’d have done it for Alec. He’d have done anything for him, but Alec was dead now and Magnus… Well, Magnus had been dead for a long time. He’d been kidding himself to ever think he could have a life. He’d been living on borrowed time, Camille’s time. He just hadn’t known it. 

“I’ll miss this,” she murmured. “You were so interesting for a while, but you became just a little too predictable for my taste.” She eased back, rising to her feet yet again and leaving Magnus on the ground, covered in his own blood.

He had thought that was it. He thought that any moment now another gunshot would ring through the room and then, he would learn exactly what it felt like to stop breathing. He’d learn what Alec had gone through not too long ago, but that’s not what happened. 

Instead, Camille walked around Magnus until she’d settled behind him. The men who’d been standing at Magnus’ side before had vanished. He was sure they were close enough to step in if they needed to, but he couldn’t see them any longer. The warehouse stretched out before him and all he could see was Raphael, Simon and Alec. 

Camille said nothing for a long moment. No one in the building so much as breathed. Outside, Magnus could hear it had started to rain. The only noise he could hear was the gentle pattering of water on a metal roof so far above him.

It had rained the night that Ragnor died.  Not when it happened, but long after when Magnus was entirely alone, thinking his life was over, not yet knowing how true that was. It was fitting in a way. Maybe, the world felt bad for him. Maybe the world was mourning another life in which things had gone differently, just like Magnus was.

Magnus’s eyes fell down and it was no sooner after he looked away that Camille spoke. “Look at him,” she murmured. 

Magnus’ jaw tightened. Camille was not mourning anything. She purred with pleasure as she spoke. Magnus looked up. He didn’t have to wonder what she meant or why. She wanted him to look at Alec. She wanted him to be thinking about the fact that Alec was dead and it was all his fault before it was over. She wanted the last thing he ever saw to be Alec crumpled on the ground in a pile of his own blood. 

He looked so broken. He looked so small. Magnus didn’t understand how people looked so small when they died. Alec was always bigger than him, but now he looked so small that Magnus thought he could walk forward and cradle Alec in his arms. 

Magnus wondered if he’d be stiff already. He wondered if he’d still feel warm. He wondered if he pressed a kiss to Alec’s lips if Alec might feel it, wherever he was now. Magnus wondered if wherever he was, if he was anywhere at all, if he was sitting with him and sharing the same impossible fantasy of one last kiss before it was over or if Magnus was truly sitting here alone, like he was pretty sure he was. 

There would be no final kiss and Alec wasn’t even here to want it with him. Alec was gone. Alec was dead. If Magnus had never met him, he knew that he’d still be out there alive somewhere, happy maybe, visiting his siblings and not knowing how colossally someone named Magnus might have messed up his life in some other universe. 

“He loved you so much,” Camille murmured. “It’s a pity.”

A bitter laugh made its way out of Magnus’ throat. At least Camille was here. He wasn’t really alone. He’d never been alone. Everything in his life always ended with him sitting with her. 

“I loved him too,” Magnus said finally. The words came cracking out of his throat. He could taste blood in his mouth still, so much of it. He didn’t even feel around with his tongue to see how many of his teeth were broken. It didn’t matter. He wouldn’t need them soon. There would be no horrified dentist to look at Magnus' mouth and try to put him back together again. 

“It’s a shame that never really mattered, isn’t it?”

For a moment, Magnus was going to say nothing and then, he spoke one last time. “It mattered,” he insisted quietly. “It’s the only thing that mattered.” 

Behind him, Camille stilled. She’d been enjoying their conversation up until that point, but Magnus was sure that his sudden conviction made the whole thing hit a sour note for her. She’d been entertaining his words for as long as they pleased her but, suddenly, she was not enjoying it anymore. 

Magnus heard the gun click behind him. He had just a second to realize that Camille was about to shoot him. He was the only one that Camille had bothered to shoot herself. Everyone else, she’d condemned to die by someone else's hand, but Magnus was going to die the same exact way that Ragnor had, by her hand, by her gun, only gone the moment she decided it. 

Magnus looked at Alec. He didn’t look away for a second, even if part of him wanted to and when the gun finally went off, the image of Alec laying dead against the ground was the last thing Magnus ever saw. 

He didn’t hear the gunshot. He didn’t even register what had happened before it was over, but he thought of Alec and he held the image of his lover close before his mind lapsed into thinking of nothing at all. 

Everything was entirely still. Only the blood streaming out of Magnus’ head to the ground moved along with the rain dripping down the dirty windows. 

Camille sighed softly and stepped around Magnus to walk outside.

Last Chapter | Master Post. 

[bytheangell]

Thinking Reckless

(tw: self-harm, references to anxiety) (Read on AO3)

It starts off innocently enough. Alec is out on a patrol with a few new recruits when things get a little dicey - an unexpected encounter with a demon turns into an unexpected encounter with several demons. Nothing they can’t handle, but it’s far from smooth. When things move to the close quarters of a dark alleyway Alec finds himself in the way of a haphazard, panicked knife slice that catches his arm instead of the intended demon, hissing at the sharp bite of pain. Giving himself a moment to make sure the damage is mostly superficial Alec jumps back in to deliver the killing blows to the remaining two demons.

“Everyone alright?” He calls out, glancing around the small group. They’re winded but wide-eyed with adrenaline, used to trainings and simulations, not the real thing.

“Are you alright?” One of the boys asks him, glancing at the bleeding cut on his arm that’s clearly visible through the torn fabric of his shirt. “I’m so sorry, Sir, I-”

Alec dismisses him with a shake of his head. “I’m fine. It’s fine, Whitmark. Just keep the blade a little closer next time, alright? You have to keep it controlled, no wild swings. If Jace saw that after last week’s lesson he’d have your head,” Alec laughed a little to show the advice comes good-naturedly.

The young Shadowhunter nods, relieved he isn’t in trouble, and Alec puts in a call for a clean-up team before wrangling his patrol back to the Institute to get checked out. There are a few with scratches from the demon, and Alec saw one of them take a pretty nasty fall during the fight, so it’s always better safe than sorry.

There’s a lot going on, from using some of their missteps as teachable moments on the walk back to the general bustle of the Institute when they get back, his focus entirely on the new recruits and the debriefing afterward. The cut on his arm stings, though the pain fades to something dull and comforting among the rest of the night’s activity. Once and awhile, entirely subconsciously, he brings a hand up to touch it gently, wincing slightly at the momentary jolt of pain before it fades back to that background ache, but he doesn’t pay it any mind.

When Magnus asks him about it later Alec says that he just forgot - except that isn’t quite true. He was aware of the cut from the moment he got it, he just didn’t mind. If he thinks too hard about it he might wonder if he liked the feeling, one he hasn’t had in a while… so he does his best not to think about it.

The same way Alect absolutely doesn’t think about the sense of loss he experiences when Magnus magics the cut, and the pain, away.

---

It’s a rare day off and Alec finds himself sitting out on the balcony, pouring cream into half a dozen tiny saucers for the strays while Magnus is out meeting a client. He’s around Magnus’ Loft often enough that the cats recognize him, and trust him enough to come over to be pet if they’re feeling sociable. The sun is out so Alec shrugs off his jacket and rolls up his sleeves before sitting himself down on the ground. If he’s being honest he hates days off - they make him tense, constantly anxious over things that need to get done, ways he could be helping - and he can’t wait for Magnus to get back and help quiet those thoughts a bit.

Alec starts to play with one of them, swiping his hand back and forth along the ground while the cat bats at it, when the cat finally catches him. Alec snaps his hand back, watching the angry red lines form down the top of his wrist from the cat’s claws.

It hardly hurts, barely a flesh wound, just a light prickling. Nothing worth stopping over, as the cat rolls onto it’s back in a clear dare for Alec to even try and pet it’s stomach. Alec does, and they repeat the game from before a few times before all four of the cat’s paws close in on his arm, catching him in more light scratches.

On some level, he knows exactly what he’s doing. He knows why the pain is so intimately familiar, he knows why he doesn’t stop, even though he should. But he isn’t doing anything wrong. This isn’t his bow or the punching bag. He’s just playing with the cats. It’s fine. He’s fine. For now, he allows himself the comfort of the distraction. The scratches aren’t doing any real harm, so he sees no need to do anything about them right away but he definitely will once he’s done.

Except the sound of the front door reaches him and Alec hesitates only a second before sliding his shirt sleeves down and shrugging his jacket back on, hiding the red marks from Magnus by the time he comes outside. Alec knows it’s wrong the moment he feels the guilt wash over him. Memories of old habits come to him unbidden - of keeping secret cuts and bruises hidden from those around him, ones he’d press on during stressful meetings or when he caught himself drifting or spiraling, to anchor him. He remembers the moments, but more than that, he remembers the feelings: an almost serene sense of focus, of self-awareness, of calming control.

He remembers it all and he misses it, and the desire wins out over the guilt.

“Careful, or they’ll start to like you more than me and follow you back to the Institute,” Magnus jokes, watching the way the ones Alec was playing with come to circle around Alec’s feet first, then Magnus’, as they stand together.

Alec leans in to kiss Magnus hello, feeling the sting up and down his lower arm with the shift of fabric as he moves his arm to wrap around Magnus’ waist. Not just feeling it - enjoying it. He experiences a brief moment of annoyance to think he should be past this, that he should be better than this; it passes as quickly as it came and instead he practically sinks into that familiar comfort like pulling on an old favorite sweater or embracing a friend you haven’t seen in too long.

“They only like me when you’re not here,” Alec reassures him, the smile on his face not betraying an ounce of discomfort despite his constant awareness of the scratches now that his sleeves are pushed back down and he’s moving around in the jacket. Instead of distracting him they do the opposite - they keep him focused and present. Not that he needs that now, not when Magnus so easily commands all of his attention and eases his mind and his soul.

...he doesn’t need it, not the way he used to. That would be a reassuring realization if the greater implication wasn’t even more concerning: he might not need it but he wants it, missing it enough to chase the ghost of it here on the balcony. Enough to know he has no intention of slipping away to apply a quick iratze.

“Ready?” Magnus asks, breaking into his thoughts. “Dinner awaits.”

“Dinner awaits,” Alec agrees, turning with him to leave.

When he says the long-sleeved shirt he wears to bed that night is because of the increasing chill in the air, he almost believes it himself.

---

There’s no reason for Alec to run in front of the others the way he does, making no move to activate the seraph blade at his side. He’s too close, his blocks with his bow too sloppy, and it’s no surprise when he gets caught across his thigh by the sharp claws of the elapid demon. It’s especially no surprise to Alec because it’s exactly what he intended. This isn’t the first dangerous mission Alec volunteered himself for lately, and it isn’t the first he’ll come back injured from, either.

It is a surprise when the claws are followed by teeth so quickly that he has no time to block when he actually wants to, and if it wasn’t for Jace throwing one of his knives at the demon’s head Alec would be in much worse shape than a few drops of venom from its fangs that managed to break the surface of his skin.

The mission is a success, technically speaking. They got the swarm of elapid demons taken care of without a single one escaping into the city and no one died, which is all that matters when it comes down to it as far as the Clave is concerned.

To almost anyone who’s there, it simply looks like Alec took control of the situation and put himself in front of the others to protect them like any good leader would. If he had a group of newbies with him or any of the numerous Shadowhunters he isn’t particularly close with, he could get away with that.

Except it isn’t just a ragtag group of ‘anyone else’ on the mission with him: it’s Jace. Alec tries to avoid him even as he feels his steps swaying from the poison in the venom hitting his bloodstream. He could’ve given himself an iratze at any point after the danger passed but he pushed himself in the hopes of drawing it out just long enough to write up a report first. Instead, he nearly passes out two steps past the front door. Foolish. Careless.

Jace practically drags him the rest of the way to the Infirmary.

“What the hell was that?” Jace demands the second the Infirmary’s healer walks away.

“I was too slow on the blo-” Alec starts, ready to repeat the same thing he’d told the nurse, but Jace isn’t having it.

“I was there. You weren’t too slow, you weren’t even trying,” Jace accuses.

Alec’s distracted, already missing the ache healed away by potions and iratzes, silently cursing himself for the careless slip-up that landed him in the infirmary rather than his office upon his return.

When Alec doesn’t immediately reply Jace charges on, unrelenting.

“Are you trying to get yourself killed?” The question holds both anger and sadness, the frustration of a brother and parabatai unable to help the hurting soul he’s attached to.

“What? No, of course not,” Alec says, forcing his head back into the conversation. “I fucked up, alright? I made a mistake, it won’t happen again.”

Does he mean he won’t pull a stunt like that again, or that he won’t get caught pulling a stunt like that again? Alec isn’t certain, but the words are honest, a lot more honest than he’s allowed himself to be in a while. The longer the sentiment sits heavy in the air between them the more uncomfortable Alec grows. The pain used to be about grounding himself, about feeling in control, and lately he’s been anything but grounded or in control. Today he’d been borderline reckless.

“I’m on all your missions this week,” Jace says finally. It isn’t a request, and though Alec could pull rank and pick a fight he just doesn’t have it in him right then.

“Whatever,” Alec says, rolling his eyes. He isn’t really angry with Jace for not believing him, not in small part because he knows that Jace is right. If their roles were reversed Alec would be doing the exact same thing, and if he had the presence of mind to be objective he’d know this is for the best. Except he can’t be rational when all he sees is a week without what’s become an almost routine pattern of trying to chase this particular release without completely giving in to it, and just thinking about going without it for that long puts him on edge.

“Should I call Magnus to come get you?” Jace asks, in a would-be casual tone under any other circumstances. They both know Alec won’t bother Magnus in the middle of the night over something like this, no matter how much he might want to, but if Jace calls, Alec can pretend it’s out of his hands and play it off as an overprotective sibling instead of a personal need.

“No,” Alec says, and maybe he turns the offer down a bit too forcefully because Jace immediately raises an eyebrow. “It’s already late, I’ll just sleep it off here.”

“You sure?” Jace asks again. They both also know that Alec is much more likely to be persuaded to take care of himself by Magnus’ concern than Jace’s, especially after so many years of Alec conditioning himself to brush off his siblings’ worries as nothing more than nagging.

Alec nods. “I’m fine, really. Just tired.”

Jace eyes him warily for another minute. This is one of those rare moments he wishes Jace didn’t know him as well as he does. Alec can practically hear Jace mentally debating whether he should ignore both of Alec’s refusals and call Magnus anyway, but instead Jace sighs and decides not to push it. “Alright.”

Alec waits for Jace to leave before standing, stretching his sore limbs. It takes him all of two steps into the hallway before he gives in to the pull of the training room over his bedroom, telling himself it’s just to tire himself out a little before bed so he’ll sleep better. Except he can’t even fool himself on that one - he’s exhausted already and everything aches, and not in a good way. Up until now, he could lie to himself about exactly what he was doing, but this? He told himself as long as he didn’t end up back here that it wasn’t the same, that he hadn’t really slipped... And now here he is. If he does this, now, he’ll be crossing a line he isn’t sure he’ll come back from in one piece.

Instead of walking over to the punching bag, he came here for Alec paces back and forth in front of the door, running his hands anxiously up and down his bare arms. At first, it’s an instinctive, comforting motion, but then he feels a familiar sting and looks down, surprised to see red lines where he’d turned to running his nails up and down his arms without meaning to.

Alec made a lot of mistakes lately - today especially - and coming here is just another one to add to the pile. He knows it, he acknowledges it this time in a way he hadn’t all the others… but instead of leaving, he begins to pace again, conflicted. He wants to stay. He wants to stay and shoot and hit the punching bag until he gets back that sense of distraction he lost earlier in the infirmary. He wants the pain to focus and ground him. He wants to give in so badly it nearly consumes him, until walking away barely feels like an option anymore.

He wants and desires and craves more than he has in a long, long time… but he won’t allow himself to need it.

Alec’s hands are shaking as he pulls the phone out of his back pocket and pulls up Magnus’ contact... Then he stares at the screen. And stares at it. And finally closes out of it and slips the phone back into his pocket.

He knows he should call Magnus. That he should talk to him, or Jace, or anyone about what he’s feeling. There are people he can turn to, people who have told him time and time again that they’re willing to listen any time he needs... friends and family who know of his history and would be more than happy to help him talk things through instead of allowing himself to face these lows alone over and over.

He knows he should, but he can’t bring himself to do it. Talking about it would make something he’s barely been able to admit to himself feel too real, and his emotions are way too raw, too unstable to put into proper coherent thought just then. He doesn’t think he can handle the patronizing tones and pitying glances that would come with That Particular Conversation no matter how well-meant.

Alec spares one last, longing glance at the punching bag and the weapons rack before turning and walking out of the training room. He doesn’t stall or look back before heading straight towards the stairs that lead to his room. Maybe tomorrow he’ll be able to talk about it. Maybe tomorrow he can make that extra step. For now, he needs to figure out how to want this for himself.

For tonight, being able to walk away is a win he’s more than willing to take.

[rosethornewrites]

Fic: The Rebellion of Adrien Agreste, ch. 12

Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth, Juleka Couffaine/Rose Lavillant, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Luka Couffaine, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug & Kagami Tsurugi, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Luka Couffaine, Lila Rossi/karma, Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth/aneurism, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug/Kagami Tsurugi, Plagg & Tikki

Characters: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth, Lila Rossi, Jagged Stone, Plagg, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Luka Couffaine, Penny Rolling, Anarka Couffaine, Rose Lavillant, Juleka Couffaine, Kagami Tsurugi, Alya Césaire, Chloé Bourgeois, Wayhem, Nadja Chamack, Nathalie Sancoeur, Sabine Cheng, Tom Dupain, Tikki, Fang, Principal Damocles, Caline Bustier, Ms. Mendeleiev, original minor character, Alec Cataldi, Lila Rossi’s Mother, Sabrina Raincomprix, Roger Raincomprix, Mylène Haprèle, Le Gorille | Adrien Agreste’s Bodyguard, Nino Lahiffe, Nooroo

Tags: Lila Rossi salt, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Teenage Rebellion, Swearing, Bad Parent Gabriel Agreste, Crack Treated Seriously, Lila Rossi’s Lies Are Exposed, Cuddling & Snuggling, Luka Couffaine Needs a Hug, Paparazzi, Parentification, Marinette Dupain-Cheng Needs a Hug, Gabriel Agreste Needs an Aneurism, Uncle Jagged Stone, we’re all queer here, the spirit of punk is sometimes just being allowed to be yourself, Kagami Finds Her Groove, punk rock fashion, Savage Kagami, Marinette protection squad, Good Parent Sabine Cheng, Good Parent Tom Dupain, Protective Kagami Tsurugi, Protective Luka Couffaine, Bisexual Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Pansexual Luka Couffaine, Sharing a Bed, Pet Names, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Instagram, Bullying, Social Media, Anxiety, Makeover, Hugs, will cure your acne, Face Punching, Bad Ass Juleka Couffaine, Rumors, Protective Juleka Couffaine, Protective Adrien Agreste, Lawyers, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Holding Hands, accountability, mental health, Jagged Stone’s well-paid pet shark, How to Make the Evening News, Sexy eyeliner for days, one fish two fish Lila is a screwed fish, How to have fun and piss Gabriel off, Fuckery, sweet litigious karma, Alya sugar, lawyer shark doo doo doo doo doo doo, Schadenfreude, Bad Ass Alya Césaire, Gaslighting, abuse denormalization, Jagged likes his lawyers like he likes his pets: toothy af, Blood in the Water, Everything you didn’t know you wanted and some things you did, Gabriel Agreste is shark bait, Denial, Consequences, Principal Damocles salt, caline bustier salt, the impotence of Gabriel Agreste, snarky Nooroo, lies and the lying liars who tell them, Lila’s brain is a narcissistic hellscape, Lila’s mind is built like an Escher piece, Alec Cataldi salt, Adrien Sugar, wholesome salt, Fu Salt, Kwami Shenanigans, Nooroo is a little shit

Summary: Big Hero Juleka Couffaine

Note: Wound up being more complicated than I expected. French law is different from the US, and though I could fudge it, I didn’t want to.

AO3 link

Chapters 1-2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11

-------------

The lawyer explained in the limo that orders of protection, under French law, were limited to domestic violence between partners, and though workplace bullying was considered “moral harassment” with criminal consequences, there were no such laws in place regarding school bullying.

“That is so not rock ‘n roll,” Jagged muttered, scowling. “French law is not cool.”

“However, French defamation law is strongly in our favor here, and you have can file a criminal complaint on your own behalf due to her defamation effecting your honor. Mlle. Dupain-Cheng’s parents—whom I am assuming you are including in your representation, M. Stone?—may file on her behalf given the impact of Mlle. Rossi’s defamation on her reputation.”

“Definitely including,” he said, nodding and glancing at Tom and Sabine. “Assuming you’re alright with that?”

Marinette’s parents nodded. They both seemed eager to have this taken care of.

“I’ve been concerned about Marinette for a while,” Sabine murmured, taking her daughter’s hand. “She’s seemed so… down, so distressed. I want this handled, and we’re happy you discovered this and are taking action, M. Stone.”

“I found out from Adrien, really. He came looking for help with his pops, and it all came out.”

Tom offered Adrien another pain au chocolat, smiling at him. “You’re always welcome at the bakery, son. Even if it’s just to hide from your father for a few hours.”

Adrien blushed at the attention, then was distracted when they pulled up in front of Collège Françoise Dupont.

The route from the limo to the collége was lined with reporters. Most students seemed to have all retreated into the school to avoid them. They could see Juleka peering out a window in one door, and Chloé stationed at the other.

Except for Lila, who was trying to talk to a reporter, who was clearly disinterested. When the limo driver opened the door for them, her voice lilted over the murmur, “and he used me and then dumped me!”

Marinette was getting out of the limo when they heard that, and she started to lose her balance. No one was in a position to help her.

Kagami hurried forward, managing to stay dignified as she drew Marinette into a hug that served to balance her.

“Good morning, Marinette. I love your outfit! Are you still willing to design one for me?”

Marinette flushed crimson, managing a wobbly grin as she straightened in Kagami’s embrace. “Of course, Kagami!”

They moved out of the way as Tom and Sabine exited the limo, receiving only confused murmurs from the crowd of journalists and paparazzi. They were joined by the lawyer, then Jagged and Penny, to excitement.

Lila’s eyes went wide at Jagged’s appearance, and he mugged for the cameras, tilting his Eiffel Tower sunglasses with one hand.

“This here’s my niece and favorite designer, Marinette. She designed these sunglasses, and of course my last album cover. She’s going to help me with the concept for my next album, too.”

That announcement led to shouted questions, both to Jagged and to Marinette, who stared at the journalist with wide eyes and tried (and failed) not to stutter.

It was easier after Kagami hooked their arms together and whispered. “Deep breaths. Slow exhales. You can take your time.”

Fortunately, she only had to answer one question before Adrien and Luka left the limo. After that, all attention was on them.

They were holding hands, as planned, shoulders together as though they were leaning on each other. Luka looked a little frazzled at the attention they were getting, but Adrien leaned close and murmured something Marinette couldn’t hear, and that eased the tension in his shoulders and led to the soft look that made the boyfriend claim seem believable. Flashes blinded them as journalists caught that moment on camera.

Lila chose that moment to stalk forward, pulling her hand back as though to slap… Luka? Before she could, Kagami grabbed her wrist.

“Are you attempting to assault Adrien’s boyfriend?” she demanded loudly, clearly playing for the cameras.

“That boyfriend is a pervert! A pederast!” Lila shrieked.

Luka blinked. “I’m not an adult. We’re both teenagers.”

“You’re no teenager. You’re a predator!”

Marinette stepped forward, about to lose her temper, her own hand itching to greet Lila’s face.

A slam sounded and Juleka pushed past Marinette and Kagami, her fist cocked. It hit Lila directly in the nose, sending blood droplets against the pavement, and Lila flying back against a paparazzi.

“How dare you talk about my brother that way! You’re not worthy of the bottom of his shoes!”

Juleka started to advance on the liar, who was wide-eyed and silent, sprawled on the ground.

Penny pulled the raging teen back, and Rose joined her, holding her around the waist and looking horrified.

“And that, folks, is Luka Couffaine’s little sister, Juleka,” Jagged announced. “Little spitfire, she is, just like her mum. You may recognize Couffaine, as in Anarka, my former guitarist and their lovely mother. You don’t cross a Couffaine.”

Lila tried to get herself together. “Luka was trying to court Marinette first!”

Marinette took a deep breath, taking comfort in Kagami’s hand on her back. “He needed a cover to be able to go out with Adrien. Kagami and I stepped up. That’s all.”

“There was reason to keep it secret,” Kagami said, taking over the story they’d decided on. “The moment Adrien’s father learned of it, he tried to make Adrien break up with Luka and date Lila. She is furious because her plan to entrap him did not work.”

That news was greeted by another murmur from the crowd, this one louder. Marinette could see the Gorilla on the outskirts, towering over the rest. Adrien waved at him, and the man cocked the first smile she’d ever seen from him, and then walked away.

Marinette remembered it was her turn to speak. “And, really, Lila’s been grabbing on him and verging on sexual assault for weeks. Wouldn’t take no for an answer. If anyone’s a predator, it’s her.”

Lila let out a growl and threw herself toward Marinette. Kagami pulled her out of the way and left her foot out to send the girl sprawling.

“Perhaps this is a good time for me to step in,” the lawyer said smoothly, stepping between them and Lila. “You have been lying about my client and his employee. You claimed you were injured on behalf of my client while saving a nonexistent kitten, and that he then wrote a song for you in gratitude, spreading this rumor around your collége, and reaching beyond via a blog interview. You have engaged in a defamation and insult campaign against his employee, Mlle. Dupain-Cheng, and even attempted to have her expelled based on lies. You have, in fact, threatened to do worse, which I’m guessing is what the attempted assault just now was. M. Stone does not tolerate defamation against himself or his staff, and M. Dupain and Mme. Cheng do not tolerate defamation against their daughter.”

She pulled out several papers, holding them out to Lila as she picked herself off the ground.

“The offense against M. Stone is public, as it appeared on a public and widely-read blog. The offenses against Mlle. Dupain-Cheng are considered non-public. But we have filed criminal defamation charges against you, Mlle. Rossi. These are copies of the filings. Copies are also being delivered to your mother at her workplace.”

Lila snatched the papers and crumpled them, her jaw tight with rage, blood still dripping from her nose. “M. Agreste made me! He said to deal with Marinette, that she was a bad influence!”

Marinette gasped, feeling Kagami stiffen beside her. Adrien was staring in open-mouthed horror. Luka looked angry, and Jagged looked livid. Tom and Sabine were exchanging worried looks. The reporters were murmuring again. All of this was, of course, being aired and reported on.

“Interesting public allegations.” The lawyer smiled. “Obviously, you will receive more official documents on the charges by the court.”

“Just what is going on here?”

Principal Damocles was standing inside the door of the school.

“This is a place of education, not a media circus!”

Lila seized an opportunity. “Juleka punched me, M. Damocles! I think she broke my nose!”

“Juleka—”

“Actually,” the lawyer interrupted smoothly, “given that this took place on the sidewalk rather than within the school, M. Damocles has no jurisdiction. Mlle. Rossi is of course able to file assault charges; however, given that Mlle. Couffaine is the daughter of a former employee of M. Stone, and Mlle. Rossi had just engaged in very public defamation against her brother on camera in front of journalists, it is likely M. Stone will ask I amend the filing to include M. Couffaine as a victim.”

“Yep!” Jagged popped the ‘p.’

Lila went pale, her fists shaking.

“And we have further business with M. Damocles. Given the ‘media circus,’ and attempted assault by Mlle. Rossi, M. Couffaine will be escorted home by M. Stone’s limo driver.”

Marinette turned to Adrien and Luka, who were still holding hands and looking a bit frozen. Adrien recognized that it was their cue first, turning to Luka and looking a bit shy.

“Will I see you for lunch?”

Luka smiled, reaching up with his free hand to brush a lock of hair from Adrien’s face. “Of course, mon étoile. I look forward to it.”

The blush on Adrien’s face looked real as Luka brought up his hand to kiss it, then embraced him.

The cameras ate it up, just as they had expected. Luka managed to look longing as he let go of Adrien and stepped back into the limo, his part of the morning done.

Kagami squeezed Marinette’s shoulder, leaning close. “I must leave if I am to arrive to school on time. You will prevail. And if you need protection, I believe Mlle. Juleka is a wonderful candidate for the job.”

Marinette turned to give Kagami a hug. Adrien did as well, and together they watched for a moment as she weaved her way through the paparazzi before they turned back to the task at hand.

Phase Two: the school.