#he's serious but oh so goofy

[fineapplequeen]

Mweheheh I just cooked up a sans oc like my life depended on it, he's absolutely fabulous (im bias) and traumatized (im cruel)

It's a bit of a read, 2,000 words just his backstory, but here he is :) Raw and his rave parasite

This follows a timeline where Sans is being guided by Gaster to become the next head scientist, being created by Gaster in the lab and told this was his purpose in life, to continue Gaster's legacy and work towards building a harvesting machine in the labs that could potentially harness the entire undergrounds magic and break the barrier.

At the time, Sans followed along, not knowing much about the underground, and quite shy when it came to those who visited the lab. The King would often visit, kinder and softer toned than Gaster, the King spoke of two children he had and offered Gaster to set up playdates with all the kids. Gaster found it irking that the King was meddling with his projects affairs but he allowed it, only in their down time for a couple hours every week.

Sans, a child at the time, was confused when the King guided them to the castle the first time, with Gaster following along. Life for Sans was work. All he knew was the walls of the lab and the cameras showing what was outside. It never occurred to him there was anything beyond the camera points- having thought they were each separate rooms enclosed like he was.

The ride up to the castle from the elevator was dull, Sans completely unsure of why they were doing a play date in the first place. Sans was technically 'in stripes' at the time, but he wasn't made to have friends.

Things began to change when he met the two children called Asriel and Chara.

At first they were simply annoying, and Sans had a hard time connecting to the two who were pranksters, running around and conjoined at the hip nearly as they masterfully planned their mischief- dragging Sans along for the ride.

He didn't get it. Not at first anyways. The jokes were always on nearby monsters, harmless, just to cause a silly reaction for them to laugh at. Sans stood by their side, feeling more like a babysitter than an accomplice. That changed the day the two told Sans of their new plan- to prank Gaster. It made him nervous, Gaster was a serious monster. The two children claimed he would find it funny though- and so Sans agreed, a small bubbling in his chest when they successfully pranked Gaster and for the first time- Sans laughed.

It was one of the more sillier pranks they've done and Sans helped with the height issue, using his magic to stick saran wrap to the door at Gaster's height. Seeing him walk through it and make such a face made Sans double over, the best part, Gaster didn't get mad like he thought he would. The King had come to check why all the children were laughing, chuckling when Gaster explained what had happened and they both had a laugh. From then on though, Sans never got over that high, finding himself doing little harmless pranks in the lab too- as long as it didn't interfere with work. Gaster seemed to tolerate it, for a little while, up until Sans took it into their work life too.

That's when Gaster had enough. For the first time since Sans was created, Sans got in trouble, grounded to his room for a couple of weeks, not able to work or play with his new found friends. It could have been worse- but for Sans, this was the worst. Seeing Gaster so disappointed, those enraged eyelights staring down at him, calling Sans outrageous and childish- but to Sans's defense, he was a child. He just learned how to have a smidge of fun for the first time but Gaster forbade any more pranks from then on, and lessened Sans's visits with his friends in order to work more.

Sans was told to study more, tasked with furthering himself for science while Gaster tested him at every turn.

It was just another week, a couple days after visiting Asriel and Chara that things took a sharp turn and Sans learned the meaning of loss. Both royal children died overnight.

Gaster and him both came to the funeral for the children, monsters shuffling to the castle in hoards to mourn the loss of two innocent lives. It was then, walking past the house they used to play in, down the halls of the castle, shuffling through golden doors to a longer hallway with stained glass windows, basking everyone in warm glows from Hotland, Sans felt something sneak inside of him.

It curled and nestled, warmer than anything he had ever felt, and it filled his thoughts, whispering to him, calling to him.

Judgment.

Judgment.

Judgment.

Gaster's grip on his shoulder tightened and Sans looked up, eyelights burning in gold and teal. Gaster looked down at him, and without a second thought, looked away, grip still as tight and face tense.

Sans looked forward, sockets large.

It was as if peering into the depths of Gaster's soul when they made eye contact, Sans had plummeted and emerged in milliseconds, and somehow knew everything about his creator in that time. Not everything, but his very status and what he was thinking. It was the same with any other monster he made eye contact with from there on out... and it scared him.

Things changed. Sans was given a gift, said the King. Passed down from the dead child Asriel, Sans was given the gift of Judgement... and he hated it.

Gaster was even tougher as the years passed. The King came by more often as The Queen had disappeared in her grief. Sans was taught everything by the two older monsters, from a Judge's job to being the next royal scientist.

It was overwhelming. It was soul shattering to most.

Sans was not most.

He grew up. Isolated, tired, sad. He stayed strong... and sometimes... sometimes, he left. He left the lab, wandering the quiet parts of the underground, watching the lives of those living and pulling pranks in the dark, watching the silly reactions of monsters, those never knowing that he was behind them. Sans grew stronger in those moments, and lonelier.

Gaster eventually found out. He always eventually figured things out when it came to Sans- it led to an explosive argument and for the first time in his life... Sans used his Judgment abilities on Gaster... and hurt him. Then. He ran away.

Sans ran. No goal in mind but to escape. He was fearful of the consequences despite now being an adult- Gaster was always able to make him feel as small and helpless as a child.

He ran where the light barely reached, where there were no cameras, a dark and damp place in waterfall where echo flowers didn't grow. There he sat, curled up small, trembling from using his Judge abilities- shaking from overpowering the royal scientist. He never knew it could be that easy to push back... and he didn't like how his soul felt afterwards.

Sans was too shaken up from the cold in his soul to feel the coiling around his leg, climbing up his arm- blinking slowly when it reached his neck and whispering to him.

Promises. Reassurances. Hope.

All he had to do was give in...

Sans blinked, his guard lowering. That's all it took.

A slippery being forced itself through his mouth as he tilted his head back, climbing through and assaulting his soul beneath his sternum- leaving sucker marks in its wake- but Sans' defensive rose.

Light poured through the area coming from all of his joints and through his skull- the creature that tried to take him over was melded to his soul, the tentacles coiling around it were unable to retract- as they were a part of it now... and the creature was stuck inside of Sans' skull.

A rave parasite, is what Sans found out it was called; when he woke up from the overuse of burning magic. It had charred him from the inside, his spine and ribs closest to his soul were cracked and blackened, and the creature was shaken up- able to feel what Sans was through their 'bond'. The creature gained emotions- more than it already had, and it gained morality, able to see bits of the past that Sans had lived, able to sense the emotions flowing through him. The creature apologized profusely and gave Sans the reasons why it did what it did, it needed a host and a soul to feed off of.

Neither was sure of what this meant for them...

Neither wanted to seek Gaster out to have him help with this... problem. So. The only logical thing the creature provided was for Sans to just leave. Find someone else who could help them seperate.

Sans was unsure about that until his soul began to buzz faintly- and a glowing rift opened next to them. It was a whole new world of possibilities... and a whole new experience of life itself as Sans opened the gigantic can of worms that was- the multiverse.

Life in the multiverse... was insane. Sans was smart though. He was not one to talk to strangers, unless being witty and laid back about how he went around gathering information. Except. Something was off. Monsters wouldn't look him in the eyes when he talked.

Eventually he figured it out when looking in a mirror. That was not his eye. He could still see out of both sockets- but that was not his eye- and his other... the other socket was dark but there was something... moving around in there...

It was the parasite.

Sans learned to live with it. He didn't like it but they would soon be separated so he pushed on... but the more he searched, he found the smartest in most multiverses to be Gaster- who he didn't want to interact with- nor did he want to interact with alternate versions of himself... he had managed to avoid them altogether.

The parasite found this amusing but didn't tell Sans why... and eventually Sans got tired of being called that name too. Every universe there it was again. Sans. The name Gaster gave him when he was made. Even in universes where Gaster wasn't present- Sans was. And they were smart. Smart enough to figure out they were being watched when the parasite and him risked willing to watch them for a bit to see if they were royal scientists or had any promises of being able to help their fused soul and tentacles... but they were dangerous too.

He no longer wanted the name of Sans, the longer his search continued. He didn't feel like he deserved the name, as silly as it was. He wasn't who he used to be... and he wasn't sure he could ever be that person again. So he came up with a new name for himself.

His name was Raw.

Raw was him and his parasite, the two bonded over the naming process in some dark corner of an alternate waterfall. Raw had begun to lose hope... a very vital thing that made up a monster- and the parasite noticed and offered a distraction.

Everyone needed outlets, everyone needed reasons to see through to the end, everyone needed fun and life experiences- and the parasite offered just the solution, making their soul feel giddy as it showed Raw how to look for a function called a rave.

They were loud. They were obnoxious. They were everything Gaster would have hated- and Raw had never felt more alive than when he went to his first rave- high on the symphony of happy, screaming souls and excitable bumpy music and flashing lights- bodies flailing around and loose, having fun, no one having a care in the world... Raw wished Chara and Asriel had a chance to do this- but they didn't. So he did in their stead. In the middle of searching for a way to seperate himself and the parasite- the two accidentally pushed themselves closer and bonded over their shared fun of these events.

Raw became a being filled with unsettling amounts of magic, fun, and hope. Is newfound joy- bringing that same excitement to new universes that had yet to experience the pure joy life could bring if you just let it. He and the parasite were inseparable, and they were both okay with this fact after a long while.

[luck-of-the-drawings]

"I think this is the most inhuman; and human, that I've ever felt.." MUCH CAN HAPPEN IN A YEAR. IN FIVE YEARS. A DECADE. imagine how much can happen in a century. just ONE (1). How will you grow? what phases do you find? even in 5 years, you will find patterns.

[thedrotter]

re:kinder goofy (for the most part) doodle dump !!! last two are from. five months ago when i was barely starting to draw these characters but i found them amusing 😊 enjoy snacks

[speedydestinydream]

Tmf isnt very accurate in many ways but I like to think that one of the main accurate things rosy nailed was the fact that the jomies have been bullies for years and still haven't been (onscreen) punished and not even stopped. You'd think that after middle school to junior year of highschool the school would notice and stop them for good, but guess what! Nope!

[todayisafridaynight]

fathers day is this month how am i going to inflict psychic damage on myself

[hauntingblue]

LUFFY!!!!!!!!! I HAVE BEEN CONVERTED!!!! LUFFY BELIEVER FULL TIME!!!!! LET US WORSHIP THE SUN!!!!

[tei-to-tei]

5c, trashcan, anyone really, for the ask game?

i may or may not have used your ask to try drawing Casey without his hockey mask...

thank you for your request!! he is... trash can (affectionately)

Abisalli's Emoji/Palette Challenge (w/the requested items)

[thelastspeecher]

honestly with watching the Kingdom Hearts III cut scenes all at once I have been doing some skipping around bc ten hours is a LOT

and I am v consistently skipping the Maleficent scenes. girl, you haven't been relevant since the first game, just give up.

[milfdollyparton]

Finally watched Lake Mungo :3 [spoilers]

The narrative is really interesting to me because there’s this mystery around Alice that doesn’t resolve, but it’s not really frustrating, just sad, because it feels like the point of the story. Even as the story unfolds, it becomes clear that nobody really knew these things about her because she was just… there. There’s very little said about her as a daughter, sister, girlfriend, or a person, except in connection with other people’s grief. We don’t know why she kept secrets, or how she felt when she was alive, beyond the terror she felt at her dreams and impending death. The grief in the story is in that of the unknown; how she died, the secrets she kept, and that (her) death is real and unchangeable.

I just really disagree with the theories about her death being a murder, or even that it matters how she died at all. The quote about death taking everything, about it being a machine, implies (to me) that death is the guiding force of the story; everything in the story only matters because she died. Nothing in her life mattered until she died. What happened with the neighbors, her dreams, her relationship with her mom, etc, we talk about the narrative dead girl but everything comes back around to it having to mean something. What if it didn’t? Things eventually went back to normal without her, without her brother keeping her ‘alive’ by staging photographs. They discovered the phone, the journal she kept, the tape, and Alice is still left without a voice. Things are talked about like they’re earth-shattering; the pictures of Alice, the video during the seance, etc, only to find out that they’re meaningless. What was true, was Alice’s dreams, her death, and the interweaving between what her mom ‘sees’ during her sessions with the psychic and what Alice saw. The story starts and ends with her death. The family’s belief that Alice wanted them to find the phone, and the tape, and to learn about these things that happened while she was alive so she could ‘move on;’ I just don’t get it. Everything that happens in the film is at the hands of someone other than Alice. Mathew stages the photos, this guy takes a photo and his wife thinks Alice is in the background, this couple discovers it was actually Mathew. The neighbor is captured on video in the home, which leads the mom to discover the safe, and the diary, and the tape, and prompts the psychic to reveal that Alice had come to see him before her death. Even when they find Alice’s buried belongings, it was only because someone else told them about the video. Alice’s death looms over everyone, causing all these things to happen, but her spirit doesn’t do anything. Alice is just as dead as the night she died, and the only thing left is her suffering, while everyone else moves on.

Anyway, 5/5 for “I feel like something bad is going to happen to me. I feel like something bad has happened. It hasn't reached me yet but it's on its way.”

[teamfortresstwo]

YOOOOOO SHANKS BBG SUPREME!!!!! Wait why’s he all serious this isn’t the bimbo man I know???

[the-hype-dragon]

ugh admitted to some of my gamer friends last night I found automata boring and of course got told "oh but it's so good" sir. ma'am. nothing will ever justify route b lmao the rest of the game could be the best content ever coded but damn what a slog for absolutely no payoff

[hairmetal666]

Eddie's a mechanic, has a shop in Indy. It's only got two bays, but he owns it, he saved up the money, it's his. He runs it with Wayne, is building up a customer base. He loves it.

Within the year, a bakery opens up next door, separated from Eddie's shop by a narrow alley. He has a perfect view into the bakery's kitchen from the shop's office, and almost immediately catches a glimpse of the drop-dead gorgeous guy behind the mixing bowl. He's got sun-golden skin, swoopy brown hair, wide puppy dog eyes, the poutiest mouth, and a face dotted with freckles. Eddie gapes at him for a solid two-minutes, salivating over the bunch and pull of his muscles as he kneads a ball of dough. A wet dream come true.

Eddie's always sneaking glances at the shop next door, can't seem to keep his gaze off the most beautiful man he's ever seen. Over the next few months, he becomes familiar with this herd of kids that hang around the bakery at all hours. There's one, curly-haired and mouthy, who often makes the baker frown with his hands on his hips, but as soon as the boy walks away, the baker smiles all wide and fond.

It's a silly crush, no big deal. He has a weakness for brown-eyed pretty boys, so what? It's not like he's going to do anything crazy, like make a move.

It's past midnight, a few months after the bakery opens, and Eddie's in his little office, doing the monthly accounting. He's exhausted, tired of calculators and numbers, when a flash of light catches at the corner of his eye. He blinks a few times, sure it's the exhaustion setting in, but it doesn't go away.

Instead, there's a light on over at the bakery. It's a kitchen light, and the baker is standing at the stainless steel counter, looking unlike Eddie's ever seen. His hair is a soft wave, swooping onto his forehead. He wears grey sweatpants and a yellow sweatshirt. Tonight, his movements are less precise and practiced; he's slow and contemplative as he gathers ingredients and mixing bowls.

It's been long enough Eddie should look away, but he forgets that it isn't a dream, that he's actually watching the baker roll up his sleeves as he whisks. It's inevitable that, eventually, the baker catches Eddie staring. He just smiles, though, and waves. Eddie manages to return the greeting before awareness smacks him in the face, and he flees the office and the building in acute embarrassment.

They share waves after that. Smiles. Laughter once when Eddie's reading over an invoice and walking, smacks face-first into the doorframe. Eye rolls after the baker gets into an impassioned argument with the curly-haired boy, one that involves a copious amount of thrown flour.

They exchange waves and smiles and goofy expressions, and it shouldn't escalate further, but one day Eddie steps into the shop's waiting room to find the curly-haired boy sitting behind the reception desk, flipping through Eddie's new dnd guide.

"What." Eddie says.

"You," says the boy. He's pointing and glaring and Eddie is a little scared.

"Me?"

"You like dnd?"

He hopes his sigh of relief isn't audible. "Best DM this town has ever seen." He postures and smirks.

"Doubt it," the boy says.

Eddie lets out an offended squeak, dramatically smashes his hand over his heart. "Insulted! Maligned! In my own place of business! Oh!" He falls into a dramatic swoon.

The boy snickers. "I'm Dustin," he says.

"Eddie." They shake hands and Eddie does not laugh at how overly serious this is all is. "Sir Dustin, what brings you to my fine establishment?"

Dustin shrugs. "Steve."

"Steve?"

Dustin rolls his eyes. "The bakery."

"Oh," Eddie says. Steve. The baker is Steve.

He's having a little trouble breathing, sure he's done something wrong, a distinct feeling of doom settling on his shoulders. "Why?"

"He won't stop talking about the mechanic next door but refuses to introduce himself. Plus, I saw your D20 tattoo the other day."

Eddie's barely hearing him, reeling over the knowledge that Steve talks about him to his gaggle of children. He barely hears the rest of the conversation, but the next day Dustin shows up with the rest of the kids, Lucas, Mike, Max, El, Erica, Will.

They're loud, chaotic, wild, and somehow--before they leave--they've coerced him into running a one-shot for them. They come by in twos and threes for the rest of the week, eating all the snacks in the waiting room mini-fridge and talking at him and Wayne as they work.

It's Friday, it's sweltering, he's closing the shop for the night with the top of his coveralls hanging off hips, his sweat soaked undershirt tossed behind a tool chest. He steps into the waiting area and nearly jumps out of his skin to find a man there, holding a plastic container.

Steve.

"H--hi," he stutters. And fuck, he's shirtless. He's standing in front of Steve for the first time and his nipples are out. This is it, the moment he finally dies of embarrassment.

Steve's eyes are locked on Eddie's torso for a few seconds too long, cheeks flushing. He blinks, finally looking at Eddie's face. "I'm Steve. From the--the bakery next door?" He points. "I--uh--I wanted to stop by and apologize?"

"What?" Eddie asks. There's too much happening for him to keep up.

"Um, the kids?"

And Eddie can't fathom why he needs to apologize, can only stare at Steve in confused disbelief.

"It's just. They can be kind of a handful. I used to babysit Mike and the whole group of them started following me around, and--Anyway, I think Dustin took it upon himself to try to introduce us. I've been wondering where they keep disappearing off to, and Max told me today that they're here with you, and I thought I probably owed you an apology. You're trying to work and I know they can be a bunch of shitheads, and oh my god, I'm rambling, I really am turning into Robin, Jesus Christ."

Eddie is fucked. Oh he's so fucked. He's charmed, endeared, can't stop smiling at Steve who is somehow even more beautiful up close.

"I forgive you," Eddie says. "They're nice kids."

Steve lets out a hard breath. "They are, huh?" He smiles. "Don't let them hear you say that. You'll never get a moment's peace. And they shouldn't have been over here bothering you, anyway."

"It wasn't a bother. Though, they did eat all my snacks and swindle me into running a one-shot for them. Still not sure how that happened."

Steve laughs and his eyes crinkle at the corner. So fucked. So fucked. "I should've known that you play that game of theirs."

"Aw, not a dnd fan, Stevie?"

Steve blushes. "It's--there's a lot of math."

Eddie laughs, already knows he's never getting over this one. "You bake professionally."

"It's different?" Steve laughs. "Fine, fine! You got me, it's not my thing."

"Bet I could change your mind," Eddie says. He doesn't mean to be flirting, can't stop himself.

"I bet you could," Steve agrees. He moves his hand, like maybe he's going to run it through his swoop of hair, then seems to remember he's holding baked goods. "Oh, uh, please take these cupcakes as my apology for accidentally saddling you with my group of semi-feral children."

"You're already forgiven, but I'll never say no to a cupcake."

"You should stop by the shop tomorrow, then" Steve says. "On the house."

"You've already given me these." He wiggles the cupcakes in Steve's pretty face.

"I only save the free samples for the hottest customers." Steve does run a hand through his hair now, and it's dorky as fuck, but Eddie still feels like he's died and this is heaven. "See you tomorrow?"

Eddie can only nod as Steve backs out of the office with a cheeky little wave.

He goes to the bakery the next day, sure he just let his crush get away from him and imagined the entire interaction with Steve. Except, when he walks in, Steve smiles all big and pretty in his little blue apron, invites Eddie back to the kitchen.

And if they share their first kiss against the stainless steel countertops, it's between them, Wayne, and all the kids who spy on them from the shop's office window.

[antiquarianfics]

You Have a Girlfriend?

So you get a little confused when you’re drunk? So what?

a/n: I saw a goofy little twitter post about this somewhere and ran with it. I’m goofy when I’m drunk, so, honestly? A very plausible scenario.

warnings: Mild language, alcohol consumption.

note: I do not own the character Bucky Barnes or any other Marvel affiliated characters.

You do not have permission to copy, repost, or translate my work; however, feel free to like, comment, and/or reblog.

—

You’re sitting next to Bucky and across from Sam, and you are a little very drunk. The three of you chose to have a drink and talk after a long day of working on the Wilsons’ boat. The issue, however, is that Sam challenged Bucky and yourself to a drinking game, and you were desperately losing.

One thing about you is that when you’re drunk: you feel the need to tell everyone how much you love them. Another thing about you when you’re drunk: your memory sucks.

“Sam,” you whisper yell across the bow of the boat. “Sam. Sam. Sam.”

Sam raises an eyebrow at you when he turns his attention to you.

“I have a secret to tell you! No, two secrets!” You hold out two fingers in front of you.

Sam smirks. “What’s that?”

“One,” you hold up one finger, “I love you; you’re a good friend. Two,” you hold up a second finger, “your friend who’s sitting by me is really, really hot.”

Sam lets out a loud laugh, and you grin at his reaction.

“I love you, too, kid.”

Bucky is smiling fondly at you, watching you with love and adoration. He’s glad he can’t get drunk simply for the ability to take care of you while you let loose.

“I’m really, really hot, huh?” Bucky teases, and he laughs when you nearly get whiplash from turning to look at him.

Your eyes are wide as you stare at him. In your drunken state, you clearly didn’t expect him to hear your admission to Sam. You relax after a second, though, and smile at him.

“Yeah, you are. Y’know, I was wonderin’…” you trail off, getting distracted as you stare into his bright blue eyes. You let out a content sigh as you observe him.

“What were ya wonderin’, Doll?” He lets his hand rest on your thigh, rubbing his hand up and down comfortingly.

“Do you have a girlfriend?” Your question is dead serious. There’s no hesitancy or joke in your voice, and Bucky finds it completely endearing. He chuckles as he stares at you, and you can faintly hear Sam lose his shit. You don’t pull your attention away from Bucky at all, though.

“I do,” Bucky informs you, biting the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing at your reaction.

Your eyes go wide, tears prickle at the corner of them. You swallow and wipe them away before doing your best to come up with a steady voice.

“Is it serious?” You question him.

“Very,” he smiles. “‘m gonna ask her to marry me.”

Generally speaking, Bucky wouldn’t have told you his plans, but he is fairly certain you’re not going to remember this conversation in the morning. And, if you do, he isn’t too concerned because he is so very serious.

You make no effort to hide your disappointment, and you let your tears fall freely this time.

“Oh, okay. She’s so lucky. Does she make you happy?”

“Happier than I’ve ever been.”

“Oh. That’s good.”

You’re obviously upset, and you’re obviously unaware Bucky is talking about you. Sam is trying not to laugh, but his wide grin betrays him. Bucky, however, finds himself more concerned than entertained when you start to actually cry.

“Doll, what’s wrong?” He wipes a tear away with his thumb, softly holding your face.

“No!” You push his hand away, eyes going wide. “You have a girlfriend! She wouldn’t want you touchin’ me!”

He laughs then. He can’t help it. After all, his girlfriend would very much want him to touch you. You always have your hand interlaced with his, or your body snugly tucked into his side, or your hand in his hair, or… The list goes on.

“Hey, don’t laugh.” You frown.

“Sorry, sorry. ‘s just that my girlfriend loves when I touch you.”

Your eyebrows scrunch together in confusion.

“Why would she like for you to touch other women?”

Sam bursts into another round of laughter. He is struggling to breathe as he wordlessly points at the two of you, ignoring Bucky’s glare.

“Oh, Doll, she doesn’t. She hates it, really, and I never pay another dame a lick of attention. She’s the only one I’ve got eyes for.” He kisses your forehead, a form of punctuation to his assurance.

Your critical thinking skills, however, are formally shot.

“You’re lying! You’re paying me attention! And I’m not your girlfriend! What’s your girlfriend’s name? I’ve got to tell her you’re cheating. Girl code.”

Sam loses it again.

“Your girlfriend! You: cheating! Shit!” Sam barely manages to get a thought out. Bucky grins at his friend. He can’t deny that he is just as entertained by your antics.

He pulls out his phone, opening his contacts up to the one labeled “Dollface,” and hands it to you.

“Here,” he says, “call her.”

You nod and take his phone, hitting the call button and holding his cellphone to your ear.

A ringtone fills the night air and you frown when you feel a vibration in your back pocket. Clumsily, you pull your own cellphone out of your pocket and look down at the screen.

“JBB <3 is calling…” appears on your screen along with a candid photo of Bucky laughing.

You stare at it, and Sam and Bucky stare at you. You don’t do anything—don’t say anything, don’t move—until the call goes to voicemail. Finally you look up at Bucky.

“Why’d it call me?”

“Y/N, you’re my girlfriend,” Bucky finally says.

Your face breaks into a wide grin.

“No shit!”

—

“I wasn’t that drunk!” You insist the following morning.

Sam and Bucky exchange a look before laughing.

“Kid,” Sam says once he’s calmed down enough. “You asked Tin-man if he had a girlfriend and cried when he said yes.”

Your eyes go wide as you turn to Bucky for confirmation.

“You did, Doll,” he says, smiling.

You stare for a moment before shrugging and turning back to your coffee in front of you.

“Y’know what? That’s a totally reasonable reaction,” you say, leaning back into Bucky as he situates himself behind you and plants a loving kiss in your hair.

[oikasugayama]

YOU TELL HIM THAT YOU'RE H0RN¥

PREMISE: You're just friends, but you wanna test the boundaries. How does he react when you tell him that you're horny?

INCLUDES: Akutagawa, Dazai, Nikolai, Poe, Atsushi, Ranpo

No smut, heavy on dialogue. These are goofy!! One part only.

Akutagawa

That gif is the horny taking over his body.

"Akutagawa."

"Hm?"

"I'm horny."

He looks up at you, face somewhere between horror-stricken and confused.

"Why would you say such a thing to me?"

"Obviously because I want you to do something about it."

"What?"

"I said--"

"--No, no, I heard you the first time."

"So?"

"So what?"

"Sooo, do you want to have sex, orrr?"

Akutagawa stares blankly at something nearby for a solid minute, completely silent, and then stands up abruptly.

"Yes. Let's go to a love hotel."

Dazai

"Dazaaaaai. I'm horny," you whine, an over-exaggerated pout on your face.

"Ohh? Shall I help you take care of that?" He purrs, exaggeratedly flirting. "I'll treat you reaaaal nice." He winks, ready for you to say something like "ew no, freak" and laugh it off like usual. Except...

"God, yes. I was gonna ask."

"Huh?" He short-circuits. He pauses, trying to figure out if you're fucking with him or not. Usually you'd start laughing after two or three seconds, but you're standing up and walking toward him--

"Holy shit. Oh my god, you're serious?!" He jumps up from his chair, eyes lighting up, and horny stirring in his pants. "If you're joking you have to tell me right now."

"Why don't you come with me to the broom closet and see if I'm joking?"

"This is the greatest day of my life," he says as you pull him along.

Nikolai

"I'm really horny, so you're gonna have to stop looking so hot or I'm gonna have to leave."

The grin he already wore spread wider across his face.

"Is that so?"

He summons and portal and in the blink of an eye is crowding you in your space, laying a hand on your thigh, breathing on your neck.

"What's doing it for you, dovey? Is it the beautiful, luscious hair? My devilishly handsome smile?"

"It's those fucking thunder thighs in the striped pants is what it is," you huff, trying to push him back, but he takes your hands and moves your arms to be around his shoulders.

"I can keep them on while I fuck you," he says lowly into your ear. "Would you like that?"

You pull him against you.

"Put your money where your mouth is, Nikolai."

Poe

"Poe, I'm having a really nice time hanging out with you and all, but I have to be honest: I'm really horny, so I probably need to go home before I start trying to fuck you."

He is so flustered that he can't even form a sentence. What you can see of his face is beet red, and he scrambles for the door. You think he's going to open it and usher you out, but he presses his back against it, blocking your exit.

"No," he finally says, "Don't leave."

"Poe, you're in the danger zone. If I don't relieve some tension I'm gonna get really grouchy."

"I can help," he stutters out.

"Huh?"

He starts trying to apologize, but you laugh and cross the room to him.

"I didn't expect you to be into it," you admit. "I definitely said it to get your attention, but I thought you'd say no."

"Then I have not made my feelings known enough."

Atsushi

"Can I ask you a stupid question?"

"Sure!" Atsushi responds enthusiastically. Your head is laying in his lap and you're staring blankly at the ceiling.

"Do you ever get horny when you hang out with your friends?"

"Uhh, I don't think that's something that happens with your friends," he says, and you turn to look up at him.

"It doesn't? Like, you've never gotten horny while spending time with me?"

"Uhh..." His face slowly starts turning red.

"I've gotten horny hanging out with you. I'm kind of horny right now, honestly."

"UMMMMM..........."

"So you're saying that right now my face being near your dick isn't turning you on?"

"I wouldn't say that..."

"I sure hope you wouldn't because I think I can literally feel you getting hard against my skull. Do you wanna stop talking and start making out now?"

Ranpo

"I'm horny."

"I know."

"What? How do you know?"

"You keep squirming in your seat, you're trying to arch your back when you lean your elbow on the table, and you keep biting your lip when you think I'm not looking at you."

"But you must be looking at me because you noticed all of that. But I haven't seen your eyes on me."

"I'm watching you from the corner of my eye like I usually do."

"Oh? And why would you be watching me, Ranpo?"

"Because I like to?" he says like it's obvious.

"Do you have a little crush on me, Ranpo?"

"Wouldn't you like to know. If only you have my super deduction you'd know."

"I don't think I need super deduction to know. I think I can figure it out in one question."

"Oh? Try me."

"When are you going to fuck me?"

He tries to bite back a smile but he can't. He finally looks directly at you, and it tells you everything you need to know.

"Your place or mine?"

[dragon-ascent]

You think you can train a dragon. Unfortunately, the dragon is the one training you.

Zhongli sees the net fall over him and yet decides to stay still as a summer leaf. You're bounding over to him excitedly, goofy-looking thing you are, but there's no malice in your grin.

You better have a good reason for interrupting his idling with this rather bothersome net. Briefly the dragon wonders if he should simply open his mouth and terrorise you into thinking he'd eat you - not that he would, though. Human flesh isn't particularly palatable to him.

"I caught you, dragon!" you exclaim, despite the fact that the net hardly covers half his draconic body. "You shall be mine! Forever and ever!"

The dragon looks utterly unfazed as he tilts his head. "Oh?"

"I'm going to train you," you add, placing your hands on your hips. "Everyone'll be jealous of my new pet!"

Pet? Zhongli thinks to himself as he gnaws the net away with ease. Ah, humans call dogs and cats their pets, and they seem to be quite close. He could use some company for a change. "Very well, I shall be your companion."

But who's REALLY the pet here?

This dragon is very picky about the feng shui in and around your place. "The arrangement of your garden is lovely, but it could use some work. I would suggest having the roses to the east, and the peonies should be by the pond so that the..."

His long noodly body doesn't fit inside your house, but he can still peer through the windows, softly tutting at the placement of your bed or your tea-table. Zhongli gently instructs you what should go where for maximum elegance, and every time you wilfully ignore his suggestions, he stuffs you in his mane for a bit. Enjoy all that golden hair in your mouth and eyes.

He doesn't even let you stay out late. He can track you by scent so he simply shows up wherever you are, huffs in disapproval, gently swats the other people away like flies, and picks you up by the collar using his teeth to take you back home.

You can't even slink away in shame while he lectures you about the dangers of the night, for he simply picks you up and drags you back once more, smoothly picking up in his lecturing where he'd left off.

Cooking, sleeping, sitting - you name it, Zhongli has something to nitpick about it.

He never lets you be unless you adhere to his standards. Much to your chagrin, he even bathes you himself using the soaps that he thinks are good for your skin. You're sick of it, but the dragon is your societal flex, and he has an attractive rumbly voice, so you put up with it. Plus, your skin does seem to be doing better these days...

"I have something for you, little one," he tells you one morning while you're sitting in your garden chair reading (with a straight sitting posture like he'd taught you).

"Oh, goody," you reply, rolling your eyes. "What is it, oh scaly one?"

Perhaps he hasn't picked up the sarcasm in you, or he's simply that overcome with excitement, for his tail wiggles incorrigibly. He opens his curled-up claws, and there in the middle is something shiny. Moving to take a closer look, your eyes widen.

"It is a collar," the dragon states before you. "For you."

You stare, agape, at the fine jade collar. "Are you...serious?"

"Of course," says Zhongli, eyes crinkling in elevated elation. "Proof of our companionship. Allow me to put it on you."

And thus, you end up walking around with a jade collar around your neck at your dragon's insistence.

[s7nburn]

NSFW ALPHABET Finnick Odair

WARNINGS: kinky shit, mentions of cum eating, kinks like breeding and exhibitionism, pussy eating, sex, rough sex, vanilla sex, sex, sex, and sex.

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A: Aftercare, what is he like after sex? He's super cuddley after sex. He loves to hold you and talk about random things while playing with your hair until you both fall asleep.

B: Body part, what's his favorite body part of yours? He adores your stomach, no matter how 'big' you think you are. He loves to place his hands there. Whether he's hugging you from the back or he's lying in between your legs eating you out.

C: Cum, Anything that has to do with cum. As I said earlier, he loves you stomach, so he definitely loves to cum on there. I feel like he'll also lick it up? He doesn't mind the mess, actually I think it may be what turns him on even more. Dont get me wrong he LOVES to cum in you though.

D: Dirty secrets. Does he have any dirty secrets? He definitely does. First, he likes to eat his own cum. Second, he for sure gets turned on by the thought of getting caught by someone. God, the amount of times he thought about fucking you during the games when thousands people are watching is insane.

E: Experience. How experienced is he? He's experienced, he had to be for what the capital did to him. All im saying is he's pretty good at what he does.

F: Favorite position. What's his favorite position? He loves the classic missionary. He loves seeing your face as he basically fucks you into next year.

G: Goofy. How goofy is he during sex? He not too goofy, he'll let out a giggle or two for no reason and you'll giggle back, but he's pretty much always is serious.

H: Hair. How well groomed is he? He likes to clean up down there. For you, he could care less. Whatever your comfortable with!

I: intimacy. How intimate is he? He is super intimate. He loves slow and passionate sex. Looking into your eyes as he slowly fucks you.

J: Jack off (masturbation). Do they jack off? Yes, but only when your not there, or if you're sleeping. He much prefers your hands.

K: Kinks. Does he have kinks? Yes. Oh God yes. When it's not slow, it's rough. And I mean rough. As I mentioned earlier, he obviously is an exhibitionist. He doesn't know why but it just turns him on so much. And if you ask, he doesn't mind choking you either. He DEFINITELY has a breeding kink... you'll most likely be on birth control. I feel like he won't actually do it but he fantasizes about blindfolding you. For sure. Also not a kink but he is a MAJOR pussy eater! He loves to look up at your face as he's making you cum with his tongue.

L: Location. Where's his favorite place to have sex? He prefers to have sex in the bedroom, but if he's REALLY horny he absolutely does not mind having it in the kitchen.

M: Motivation. What turns him on? You. Anything you do. You. You. You. But in all seriousness, you in dresses. The way they frame you body or lift up your boobs a little...

N: No. What will he not do? He will not hurt you. A couple slaps on the ass is fine, so is choking but really anything beyond that is a no.

O: Oral, do they enjoy giving or getting? He LOVES eating your pussy, and I mean LOVES 😩. Any chance he gets he WILL eat you out, no questions asked. He does enjoy getting head too, looking down at you as you gag on his dick is like heaven.

P: Pace, slow or fast? Depends on the mood of course. He is a sucker for slow sex though.

Q: Quickie, how does he feel about them? He doesn't mind them, but he prefers longer...sessions with you.

R: Risk, does he take risks during sex? Sometimes.. if you two are at a house party he may take you into the bathroom and fuck you, intentionally leaving the door unlocked. And like I said he has a breeding kink...he will not cum in you if ur not on birth control.

S: Stamina, how long can they go? I feel like he can go for about 3-4 rounds if it's a kinky night ifykwim. But if its a slow and sensual moment probably 1-2 rounds.

T: Toys, do they enjoy using toys? You two probably have a couple of vibrators..maybe a Fleshlight for him.

U: Unfair, how much do they tease? He can be such a tease.. whispering suggestive things into your ear while you two are training.. lingering touches that leave you weak in the knees.. and finally when you two get home.. he'll fuck you over and over again.. with either his dick.. or his tongue.

V: Volume, are they vocal during sex? Finnick gets loud... His moans are like music to your ears..shit maybe his own. He loves to let you know how good your doing. Moaning praises everytime he fucks your face or your pussy.

W: Wild card (random headcanon). He loves to fuck your thighs..he doesn't even know why. Maybe it's the way they hug his dick while he pushes through them?.. Oh, and he DEFINITELY talks you through it. "There you go..." Or "Just like that..let go..I got you.'

X: X-ray, what going on down there? He's around, maybe above, the average. He's 6.3 inches, but he's got girth.

Y: Yearning, how high is his sex drive? I say it depends on you, but it's pretty high.. like i said he can go for 4 rounds.

Z: Zzz, does he fall asleep quickly after? Yes, he gets really sleepy after. All he wants to do is cuddle into you and rest. He can't decide if he likes fucking you to sleep or talking you to sleep more. Even though he's tired he can go on and on about random things, like the stars.

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A/N: HELLOOO my irl friend is gonna read this and I'm freaking out 🤗. Anyways hope you all like it <3

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