#he's so damn expressive in this film; idk how to explain it

[jtownraindancer]

i miss this look

[biceratops7]

Good omens leak talk under cut, literally just vivid descriptions, keep away unless you’ve seen it and it’s too late:

Ok I have literally been staring at that image periodically whenever I think about it for several days. Because I am normal and like things neurotypically. So here’s literally just a big list of observations no matter how minute. If you read this whole thing then the brain worms have made it to your prefrontal cortex.

Crowley has his glasses on (already explained my theory behind that)

Crowley is obviously the instigator but it’s unclear whether or not Azirphale is currently an active participant, or if he’s still processing. I’m leaning on still processing, but it’s hard to tell with the shadow on his brow obscuring his expression and not being able to see his hands

Speaking of that shadow, what the hell is up with the lighting in this scene?? It’s not bad except for making things in an already blurry still unclear, it’s just strange to have something softly back lit but also clearing having another additional light source else where. It’s an interesting choice because it can lead to inference of the circumstances here.

Second, related question: where the hell are they?? So let’s just take stock of everything BUT Azirphale and Crowley we see here. First of all it’s mostly in shadow, however there is a prominent light source behind Aziraphale, possibly close to him. The light we see on Crowley’s hair is likely from the doorway behind them.

Quick detour, the doorway is the brightest thing in the frame, creating a slight silhouette effect. Silhouettes are often used in film for moments that are a big deal but visually obvious. It shows weight through simplicity because you still know what’s happening and why it’s important with way less visual info than normal. We all IMMEDIATELY recognized what was happening and lost our shits even though it’s in shadow and currently obscured by giant text.

Ok so anyway this all leads me to believe they’re in a mostly dark room with one bright but not very far reaching light. I wanna say it’s almost fluorescent? Or an exposed lightbulb? It certainly doesn’t look warm like a lamp to me.

In addition I believe they’re inside a room to a larger building. The light coming from the door is almost certainly NOT day light. It’s purely white as if it’s a very well lit room or hall. There also is what I think looks like an exit sign near the top next to the doorway, or at least idk what else it could be. Because of that I don’t think this is anyone’s home or small shop.

I find this EXTREMELY interesting because the only prominent location we really see fit that vibe or description is the office building of heaven and hell. This season seems to be particularly highlighting that “neutral ground” between then, with the elevator showing up three times.

Now this one is just me trying to interpret literal blobs, but there either appears to be some sort of rounded extension to the top of the door way, or the walls are just thick. Make of that what you will

the room appears relatively spacious but mostly bare, almost like a holding place. But obviously with such a tight frame this can be hard to tell. I did take note of the fact that you can see some brown lines behind Aziraphale in the first frame, so there is clearly something there.

Alright enough waxing poetry about the damn walls, I know that they're probably standing up. Crowley might be in a position where he can twist into it from a sitting position, but with Aziraphale' shoulders so far forward and his back entirely angled to face Crowley, he'd either have to be straddling a chair or his lower spine is snapping like a glowstick.

Aziraphale is not being pushed against anything, he’s rocking backwards despite the force being applied to pull him forward, so in other words our boy Crowley’s REALLY shooting his shot, lmao

Aziraphale’s arms are confusing. They’re clearly not holding onto Crowley even out of frame, but they also don’t seem fully relaxed at his sides to me either.

WAIT, ok so the standing is still a strong contender, but they could also be sitting across from eachother at a small table. Crowley seems hunched over a bit more than is warranted for Aziraphale’s height, and Aziraphale’s arms could propped up at the elbows supporting his weight.

So damnit this adds a whole new layer to the location question

[oikasugayama]

me when i see a tiktok of some photographers at the met gala talking shit about stray kids because they “look emotionless like robots”🤠

i’m gonna kill someone it’s their first met gala and they look incredible SHUT UP

Oh my fucking god I was literally just coming onto Tumblr to talk about that, you and I are on the same wavelength.

Not only was it incredibly disrespectful, it was racist. Idk how many other ppl are clocking that, but imo!!! 😒

Now, I'm an American white woman. I can't say that I feel targeted or hurt by what the photographers said or anything because I'm not of the affected group, BUT I, as an American white woman, have heard a LOT of a racist people say a lot of racist shit, and this is not the first time I've heard ppl say disparaging things about Asians being emotionless and robotic. I recognize the racist rhetoric and I'm pissed about it.

It's obvious that he said that because of a racist misconception/stereotype perpetuated by American media, and I'm pissed that he not only said it to begin with, but seemed so giddy while doing it. That is a grown man. If he's photographing the Met Gala, he has to be experienced in his field. There's no way he hasn't seen models/celebrities/etc. do stoic poses before. Did he call other people emotionless robots? Did he say they ruined the shots because they were "emotionless"? I doubt it. He only said that because he has racist misconceptions about Asians being stoic, or being robots, because racist American films often show Asian=Technologically Advanced=Robot, and I don't have the room to explain why that is, but trust me. It's absolutely an American/Western racist notion.

So that photographer saw a group of Korean men walk in together and turn and walk out together, and instead of thinking "wow apparently this is a really popular group" "oh their outfits are cool and coordinated" he thought "heh they're robots" because that's a reflection of the racist rhetoric he was taught, and believes.

Fucking disgusting. That photographer has no business being invited back to a high profile event, or any event, period.

Also, it should go without saying, Stray Kids didn't deserve to be subjected to that shit. It's their first Met Gala. It's not their first time in the States, but I hope to God it's their first time having someone say nasty shit to them as if they couldn't hear it. There is such a brain-dead disconnect between racists and the groups they're being racist against. That photographer probably has no idea basically everyone in SKZ can speak English. Two of them aren't even native Korean speakers. That photographer somehow doesn't know that these 8 grown men were posing for the cameras, like every. Single. Other. Guest. Was.

SKZ have such beautiful, infectious, bright smiles and laughs. They have such full emotions and expressions. Everyone does, for fuck's sake.

Get that racist photographer out of the damn industry.

[back-alley-goatboy]

Well, as its Ghosts season 5 eve, I think its about time I give my final theories to how The captain and Kitty die.

Idk if promo pics count as spoilers, but they are below the cut

Starting with Kitty. Honestly, I think its going to be either food poisoning or an allergic reaction from the pineapple, but it will be spurred on by Eleanor.

I mean, look how much fun Kitty is having, she's laughing with everyone, and Eleanor looks so damn salty and jealous.

I mean, we know she isn't above trying to make Kitty sick (the warm oysters), plus we have seen kitty throw up as a ghost. I imagine the party would eat the pineapple, it begins to make Kitty ill and Eleanor would notice and would make a game of it. Something along the lines of "oh its horrid, lets see who can eat the most", expecting her to throw up and embarrass herself, not die.

Im leaning more towards food poisoning because chances are that pineapple would be rotten as hell by the time it reaches the Uk in the georgian era via boat.

Above all, I want to see kitty realise that Eleanor was a bitch and start unpacking that trauma. Bonus points for genuine kitmas bonding over the fact their familes are terrible.

Second of all, The Captain. Whoo boy I have feelings about this one, its a much less solid theory but it makes sense.

We all know the beloved cracked mirror in the intro but it got me thinking, what if its a metaphor for a broken image?

We all know Cap is big on appearances, but in the promo pics we see him looking like hes getting grilled by the general (wiki told me the red bits mean general, dont quote me though, also, stick my beloved).

Ever since Redinng weddy, I have wondered if Cap was ordered to bury the bomb. I doubt it considering its active explosives in someones back garden so I came to the conclusion that the "letter/operation william plans" were actually letters and Cap buried them with the bomb to keep them safe. But then, a suposedly important Government secret operation goes walkies? Thats a situation right there.

What if, after getting his medals, the general complains that he isnt worthy of them/is a spy or german ect (some Havers is a spy theory here, I dont love it but it would make some sense in this context) and it kind of adds up too much, so the other soldiers try and get rid of him. If a fight was to break out it would explain why he has the stick, he grabbed it out the general's hand trying to defend himself. Similarly, the draw opening in the intro could be someone grabbing a stashed away gun, causing panic (maybe cap finally got his service revolver). We also know a man was murdered in the library (said by Robin in the little promo film), I can only imagine it was teased because it was relevant.

Obviously this is a less solid theory but it would explain the weird expressions in the promo pics and tbh Im biased towards the Cap was murdered theory. Hypothetically, it could also be why he only wants to be known as The Captain, if the General tried to revoke his title after he got his medals.

Also Lord Brigadier Sir Anthony Bartholemew Raisinby Jones mayhaps?

I mean regardless of what happens,they are my babies and im going to go feral. I guess we just have to wait and see.

[eyessocurious38]

Spider-Man ATSV Thoughts (spoilers)

Okay soooo

I watched Across the Spider Verse a second time (because it’s a beautiful artistic masterpiece and I am Miguel trash honestly. )

There were so many things I wanted to analyze and look at for a theory I’m planning to post but damn every scene has sooooo much detail and we’re too fast, my brain couldn’t process fast enough lol.

At least from what I can recollect and some thoughts I had:

1. I’m definitely looking forward to analyzing that entire Gwen opening when I have the power to use the pause button. There is so MANY scenes that are layered with details (a lot of foreshadowing scenes that will take place in the film and some characters like Spot, Hobie, our queen Gwen, and Mr. O’Hater appear too.). The one that caught my eye was the Miguel (of course) part which that was interesting if it was intentional. It showed what looked like him watching Uncle Aaron’s death and that itself seems to foreshadow?? His apathy towards the Spider-Man canon deaths of Uncle Bens. And since the dude has those computers that can basically spy on every universe (or past events that have occurred and not live or current ones) it makes sense. But like how do they do that? I hope they explain more how they were able to do all this tech and stuff) I’m gonna watch it one more time with another friend next week I hope to get more details again. Otherwise imma wait until then.

2. I did noticed the different spider folks in the spider society scenes so that was cools. Didn’t have to strain my eyes too much.

3. I could hear things that I didn’t hear before when I first watched the movie. Lol. But maybe I just need subtitles.

4. Honestly idk where this came from, but now I’m kinda seeing how reckless it is for the spider parents, Jessica and Peter B, to still be doing spiderman stuff with no children safety in mind (pregnant or bringing their kid along, plot armoire I guess but stilll). Weird this feeling is coming up after the second viewing, I guess I’m just anxious if something will happen to either character(s) in the next film. They have a lot to lose and for them to risk their kids like that is kinda irresponsible imo.

5. Babygirl Miguel please your hot and brooding but stop bullying miles. They both have good points, Miguel I get he’s tryna see the bigger picture of things and is tryna redeem himself from the Shit show he caused for his variants dimension, but he’s still very traumatized and is acting like a victim of circumstance and hot tempered jerk like bro that’s a kid ur tryna fight which I hope in the next film they can go more into details, get this man a therapy appointment, maybe prove that his canon model isn’t always accurate, and reconcile. Miles I get he can save his father now that he knows and being Spider-Man means you should try to help and not accept things the way they are. This is very layered honestly it can also apply for lots of themes they express too in this film (generational trauma comes to mind). But I’m worried since they do keep showing the whole “you can’t save everyone as Spider-Man” thing and Miles wants everything, he thinks he can do it. (In the beginning of the film they show this with Miles trying to have a normal life and being Spider-Man, tho he struggles to keep a balance to it. And he’s only a couple years in, he’s still too young but I understand where his heart is at). So maybe miles isn’t gonna be entirely in the right either. But hopefully this will be expanded on more in the next film. Maybe both characters will have a slight change in their current views and see why the other is also valid.

6. Spot’s voice is so cute? Or just funny and light hearted? Almost makes me feel bad for the guy. and I could see more stuff in his flashbacks that I couldn’t recognize on the first watching because I couldn’t process what I saw. But cools. I have a bigger theory about him and his powers and how it could effect the canon model. But my brain is hella tired rn to go into it. Basically if his powers could somehow change the canon model or make divergences that won’t cause calamity’s or could cause more. But another day for that.

7. U know I wonder if Earth 42’s Rio Morales noticed that our Miles wasn’t her son right away? Like did she think her kid was going a lil crazy that night or what? Anyways another thought came to mind was Miguel’s previous situation, like if his variant family knew that he wasn’t theirs based off how he acted or habits.

8. I’m curious what they’re gonna do for part 2. How’s Earth 42 Miles and Aaron gonna act with our miles? I have a feeling they could just make him the next film’s other villain, but maybe he could have a change of heart and be Spider-Man even without the traditional powers. I guess that’s gonna depend on how he reacts, if he finds out that he was supposed to be Spider-Man but our miles took that from him (unintentionally). But he acted so careless when miles was saying our dad but to him it wasn’t HIS dad. So he might still be bad guy, ughhhhhhh I don’t wanna waittttt. I need answersss

Anyways aside from that, new movie is visually stunning, full of great layered moments, music is nice, Indian Spider-Man is my fave character and Miguel only for selfish reasons Gwen’s world is honestly the best looking, Gwen is Trans 🏳️‍⚧️, and more. Really I can’t wait for the next film!

Now onto those theory drafts.

[ithinkilikeit-reactions]

Rowoon “Boyfriend Headcanons”

Youngbin // Inseong // Jaeyoon // Dawon // Zuho // Rowoon // Yoo Taeyang // Hwiyoung // Chani

- alrighty this giant

- he’s so tall it’s unfair 

- share with the rest of us why don’t you

- Now Seokwoo is like the boy next door x1000

- like he was written for a sappy romance film (but a good one not the crap netflix has been making)

- As far as Seokwoo’s type goes

- he would want some incredibly down to earth

- someone who is very grounded

- knows what they want and is driven

- but still soft and caring

- he’s attracted to passion 

- and kindness

- Now for first dates

- I feel like all of sf9 are more casual

- so I think on a date he would like something like a picnic. 

- he would go to a resturaunt and order a bunch of really good food to go

- to fill the basket and bring it along

- he has drinks, food and a blanket all ready to go

- Even has the perfect spot in the park picked out. 

- It’s just such a cute way to get to know eachother

- he loves talking to you to get to know you

- good food and good people

- can’t go wrong

- During the date he’s nothing but smiles

- Prefers listening over telling

- but once he starts going

- telling stories about acting jobs 

- the other members

- he completely lights up

- he loves getting a feel of you 

- Seokwoo won’t kiss on the first

- well unless he’s like really, really really into

- but he’s more of a slow burner type

- won’t kiss you till maybe 3rd or 4th date

- really lives for the slow burn 

- But after that first kiss

- he’s smitten 

- like absolutely in love from that point on 

- anyways kisses with Seokwoo in general

- chances are, you’re shorter than him 

- and he holds that over your head 

- won’t bend to kiss you just to tease

- watch you jump around

- loves that

- but he really adores kissing your forehead

- it’s his favorite spot to kiss

- he finds it comforting to do and well you find it comforting to receive

- if you can kiss his forehead sometimes

- like when he’s sitting or something

- he completely melts

- it just makes him feel so appreciated

- so kiss his damn forehead he deserves it

- In public he doesn’t like kissing or anything

- he will hold you and your hands though

- loves wrapping his arms around your waist from behind 

- if you guys are like waiting in line at a cafe he’s glued to your back 

- with his head on top of yours

- Seokwoo is very good at non verbal compliments

- idk if that makes sense so I’ll explain 

- whenever you’re dressed nice

- he just runs his hands over your clothes with an approving smile (not that you need his approval)

- he says alot with his eyes and face

- he’s an actor afterall, facial expressions say the most

- Now for arguments

- Seokwoo can get quite frustrated sometimes

- Can raise his voice a little

- not enough to consider it yelling

- he doesn’t say things he doesn’t mean 

- so he’s never mean to you or cruel

- just loudly tells you how he’s feeling in that moment

- will walk away to calm down which is fair enough

- you both need a breather

- but when you both come back

- it’s a calm conversation

- maybe even some laughter

- what were you even arguing about?

- it’s forgiven and forgotten

- you both just promise to work on the issue 

- and move on

- as far as apologies go

- He’s really sweet

- holds you, kisses your forehead of course

- whispers sweet apologies

- He tends to feel really about what he’s done 

- it’s written all over his face so you can tell

- When he’s sad or upset

- he doesn’t really show it

- he seems just kinda out of it

- Tends to keep the way he’s feeling to himself but 

- you can tell

- once you ask however

- he lets it out

- rants a little 

- really admires your advice 

- wants to hear your thoughts

- ends the convo with a kiss on the head for him of course

- Seokwoo, he tries to make you smile when you’re upset

- he can’t stand seeing you upset

- a part of him breaks if you’re hurting 

- so he wants to cheer you up before he wants to know what’s wrong

- when you start explaining it to him 

- he listens to everything reasonably

- gives very rational advice

- very good at it

- After you get done ranting

- he’d want to go for a walk with you

- get some fresh air

- figuratively wash the negativity off with fresh air

- it’s a good way for you to restart

- forget about the issue

- something you do often though

- is read lines together

- if you’re good at acting 

- it’s genuinely helpfull and it helps him memorize lines

- but if you’re bad at acting

- yeah it does still help him

- but it’s more just something that makes you both laugh

- He appreciates the gesture either way

- Seokwoo is a fan of typical dates

- like your typical cute and fun dates

- the zoo

- holding your hand

- walking around and feeding the animals (that you’re allowed to feed of course) 

- will give you a piggy back ride if you get tired

- another thing he really enjoys

- going to a market in the morning on his days off

- getting some fresh fruit

- maybe some morning street food

- holding your hand and shopping around for food for the dorm and your place

- he really quite loves the domestic things 

- makes him think about starting a life with you 

- you know the whole 9 yards

- the marriage

- the kids and the white picket fence

- anyways

- Seokwoo and jealousy

- I don’t really see him getting all to jealous

- he’s quite relaxed

- he knows he has nothing to worry about

- he doesn’t like it though when other guys get too touchy with you 

- he will say something about it too

- give them a stern look and move on

- he doesn’t get upset with you at all about it

- he doesn’t really get upset about it at all

- Like yeah he doesn’t like it 

- but in the end you go home with him 

- and he knows that

- so it’s not something you need to reassure him about really

Now dreamy bedroom eyes Seokwoo

- Okay 

- I have a bit of hard time pinning Seokwoo in this way

- I feel like he’s just a happy medium?

- in all sense

- He doesn’t really care for sub/dom roles

- it’s not important to him at all 

- whether you’re on top 

- or he is

- whether your in charge or not

- it doesn’t matter to him 

- he’s very much the making love type 

- not that he doesn’t ever want things rough and messy 

- but he prefers taking time

- making sure you both feel incredibly loved and taking his time

- is incredibly into body worship

- will kiss you all over

- every scar

- every insecurity 

- he just thinks they’re stunning

- it kind of goes hand in hand with a little smidgen of a size kink

- It happens in moments where he just realises how big his hands are in comparison to your body 

- Loves using his hands on you 

- He’s quite simple with it

- Missionary is his favorite position

- it’s the eye contact

- being able to see your facial expressions

- a thing I think he might love 

- especially if you’d have a house together 

- ‘christening’ the house

- he would love to take you in every room of the house

- Putting you on kitchen counters

- fucking you in the shower

- having sex on the couch 

- he’s just so in love with you

- he wants you anywhere

- the mundane life turns him on

- a way to really get him going 

- working around the house wearing his clothes

- it drives him nuts

- Maybe also a little bit of a breeding kink (this applies slightly more to fem readers) 

- It goes hand in hand with wanting that normal life 

- the thought of you having his kids 

- he wants it 

- loves filling you up

- holds you so close when he cums in you 

- you can’t budge

- he wants you to feel it all 

- Seokwoo loves it though

- when you mark him up 

- likes to feel like he belongs to you 

- besides he likes receiving some body worship too 

aftercare

- Aftercare with him is so relaxed

- wants you cuddled on top of him

- doesn’t want to shower or clean up just yet

- he just loves to feel your skin against his

- and traces over your spine

- you guys talk alot about the future 

- only the positivethings though

- negative is for other times 

- not during the after sex glow

- absolutely not

- Seokwoo takes a lot of mental pictures of you in this moment

- he thinks you look great

- hair all crazy 

- completely bare for him 

- just the glow of your bedside lamp

- he loves making you laugh in this moment

- he doesn’t want to take himself too seriously in these moments

- these moments are here to enjoy

- He does tell you he loves you like every 10 minutes

- and at the first time this happened you reminded him that he already told you 

- but the more you get used to it

- you just say  it back 

- Seokwoo makes you believe that you can’t say I love you in a day enough 

- H makes you believe that tv show romance can be real

A/N: I hope you guys enjoy this! I feel like it’s shorter than the others... i hope not

[starr-angelofnarnia]

First Witness: Depp's Sister- Christi Dembrowski

Second objection from Heard's team (404) overruled. Regarding discussion of a person's character

Sister says his mother made fun of him having to wear an eye patch, by calling him one eye. That's heartbreaking

Mother would require them to pick a "green" switch, a brown dead one would snap too easily. Also heartbreaking

She explains that she was surprised when her father moved out because he'd lived for so long with "all of her personality". Implied abuse, but she refrains from using that term

Another objection from team Turd for hearsay. This one is sustained. Objection to a question regarding why Depp's father finally left his mother. But now I'm really curious what the last straw was.

Multiple objections for foundation, that it doesn't have adequate factual or legal basis to the case. Most of them have been sustained.

I didn't realize they were from Florida. Same same

Let's play a game of how many different ways can reword a question so that the previous objection will be overruled. Damn foundation objection again. To be fair, the questioning has less to do with Johnny and more about the reaction to his mother falling ill. But I understand how its relevant, given the death of his mother in relation to his divorce filing

I can't read his facial expression really but his head is down cast

He bought his mother a house across from his so he could ensure she was well taken care of. Despite his history with her. That's brave, imo. Would have been easier to walk away.

His child is named Jack... His most well known character is named Jack. Hmm...

He didn't want his mom to feel fear over being put in hospice care with new nurses so he hired private nurses. Again, wow.

His sister started working for him, with his agent, once her company folded. So she knows him as family and as an employer

She's basically Johnny's personal manager

I didn't know he had a production company. Apparently he does

I never considered that Pirates of the Caribbean was really his first big role. Because I've known of other roles. Earliest I know of is the titular character from What's Eating Gilbert Grape with Leonardo DiCaprio. Great film if you haven't seen it, I recommend it

In describing the relationship between Johnny and his original head of security (I think was his role), team Turd wanted the entire statement to be stricken from the record. Overruled. Why would they want to strike that? Interesting

Not sure how asking about Vanessa and Johnny's life post divorce is heresy. Seems quite relevant to me

Is it normal to have objections this frequently?

Amber's friends and sister were living in penthouses owned by Depp...were they at least paying him rent?? If not, WTF

Question answered, he did not make them pay rent. Holy hell

Bamf older sister recognizing his behavior as being the same from when he was a child

It was easier for her to recall a significant moment when Amber was mean to Johnny than how she was nice to him

"She called him an old fat man" wow name calling. Really Amber??

Idk, Amber's face just looks like, "yeah I did, and what are you going to do about it?"

Sounds like Amber was overly clingy in public.

Christi says she tried to talk her brother out of getting married so quickly and he pops a small reminiscing grin

Depp's team wanted a prenup to make sure his children were protected

Aww, Christi is emotional talking about her mother passing away. It's so sad

The day after his mother passed, he's fighting again with Amber...

So Amber filed for divorce 2 days after Johnny's mother's death and the day he left for tour. Seems like a low blow. Then 2 days later filed for a restraining order when he was out of the country...

Question about Christi's thoughts on the WP op-ed rejected for relevance. Bii, it's entirely relevant

Why does it seem like Turd's team tries to object to everything about Christi's perceptions of the article? THAT'S WHAT THIS ENTIRE COURT CASE IS ABOUT AS YOU SO OBNOXIOUSLY POINTED OUT!! DON'T GET BUTT HURT WHEN THE QUESTIONING DOESN'T SWAY IN YOUR FAVOR

Striking answers is so stupid. Everyone already heard it

Ok this is really the first court case I've ever watched so admittedly I've had to Google some stuff and I won't always know what I'm talking about. This is strictly my thoughts and reactions. But I think I'll keep doing this as long as I'm listening/watching the trial

[mjxmoon]

george being a bitch because he’s shy 🪴

george x black reader

word count: ~1.1k

request: Can you do georgenotfound with a black reader where like he sees her stream all the time bc he has a crush and dream invites her to film with them and he's being really stiff and distant so she thinks he's like racist or something and goes to cuss him out?(fluffy ending though please)

a/n idk how fluffy the ending is but enjoy also this goes from like 3rd person to 2nd person a few times oops

warnings: swearing 

“You invited her over here!?” George shouts in disbelief, “Why would you do that?” 

“Come on, you like her and you’re only in Florida for one more week,” Clay explains. The sound of the doorbell then rings throughout the house and a wicked smile appears on his face “Oh she's here.”

“WHAT!?”

Outside you bounce on your heels nervously as you wait for someone to answer the door. When ‘Dream’ invited you over to his house to film a video with him and George your heart stopped. The fact that one of the most popular Minecraft YouTubers watched your streams AND wanted to make a video with you in person was almost too much to handle. A man then opens the door, and it takes you a moment to realize that who is standing in front of you is Clay.

He says your name with an enthusiastic grin as he pulls you into a hug. You never expected him to be a hugger but willingly accept his embrace. “It's so great to meet you!” He says excitedly as he ushers you inside, taking your coat from you quite gentlemanly and welcoming you into his home. 

damn, this man's stacked you think to yourself as you look around his house. You spot George hanging back by the staircase and feel a little bit star struck seeing him in person “Hi! George, right?” Dumbass You curse to yourself, what a stupid introduction. 

He raises a hand to give you a wave before swiftly turning around “Yeah, let me know when you guys wanna start filming.”

You knew to come with the expectation that George wouldn't be the same as he was on stream but you were expecting a little more enthusiasm. “Um yeah let's get started.” Maybe he’s just nervous around new people. You try to convince yourself before your mind wanders to the other more racially motivated possibilities. 

Clay leads you to his office that's complete with the sickest gaming setup you’ve ever seen. “Wow,” You say looking around in awe. You notice George staring at you from the corner of your eye and when you try to acknowledge him he quickly turns away and goes to do something else.

As Clay starts explaining his plan for the video you can only think about George and the reason he’s being so cold to you. He doesn't have to be an angel but some basic human decency would be nice. He’s the reason you got into streaming and as embarrassing as it is you developed a slight crush on him so him being a bit of an asshole hits you a little harder than it should.

You snap out of your thoughts as Clay extends one of his headsets to you. You stare at it for a moment before confidently taking it and setting it on your head. I'm not gonna think about it anymore you tell yourself I'm just gonna have a good time. That's what you came here for anyway- well not exactly it was mostly to meet George- but instead of sulking over it, you decide to make the best of the opportunity. 

While you guys film a Minecraft manhunt together you try your best to ignore George and his shitty attitude. Every time you tried to make a joke or interact with him he wouldn’t say anything or talk to Clay instead. As time passes it becomes more and more infuriating and you practically give up. Now that you think about it, maybe you should have had more sense than to develop a crush on a steamer you knew nothing about and expected him to give a shit about you.

“I'm gonna go get something to drink,” Clay says, sliding off his headset “You two want anything?”

“I’ll have some water please.” You say. George shakes his head as he immediately gets on his phone, probably to drown you out for the next 5 minutes.

Clay looks between you and George and feels a little guilty for the tense situation he’s created. Clay teased George relentlessly about his crush on you, but maybe he should have warned George that the girl he's been in love with for months was coming to see him. Clay keeps his eye on them until he closes the door a little scared of what will happen once he leaves.

“Hey did I do something?” You finally decide to ask after a painfully awkward moment of silence. 

“No,” George says, simply not looking up from his phone. 

His tone is super dismissive, which only pisses you off more, “Do you not like me?” You inquire. He doesn't respond, and you can’t help but feel like you’ve found your answer. “Really? Is it because I'm Black?” You don’t know where that came from, but it was at the back of your mind, and you don’t feel guilty for asking. His eyes snap to you rather quickly and you sit there with an unamused expression letting him know you’re dead serious. 

“Because if it is just say so, that way I don’t have to stay here anymore with you and your racist bu-”

“Why would you even think that!?” He cuts in, very hurt by your implication. 

“Well I don’t know you’ve been kind of a dick this whole time- and this wouldn't be the first time someone’s been a dick to me because I’m Black.”

“It's not like that I swear, and I don’t hate you-” he stumbles over his words trying not to say what he so desperately wants to but it comes out anyway “I….like you.”

You pause your rant and look at him in shock. It takes you a moment to register but when you do you feel a mix of all sorts of different things “So what you were just gonna treat me like an ass because you liked me? What is this elementary school?” You flop back into your chair and huff feeling slightly embarrassed.

The silence falls back over the room and you fiddle with the hem of your shirt as you give the response he’s been waiting to hear “And I like you too.”

He blushes and as he opens his mouth to speak the door to the office burst open “Almost busted my ass coming up the stairs.” Clay says slightly out of breath.

You and George burst out laughing, letting go of the awkwardness and tension built up from earlier, finally able to express yourselves.

“Did I miss something you two seem more chummy?” Clay says as he slides back in his chair. 

“Nothing.” George replies, quickly logging back into the game, flashing you a cute grin before putting his headset back on. “Come on, let's finish this!” 

“Uh-huh…” Clay says looking between the two of you unconvinced “I’ll just check the recording later.” 

“The what?!” You and George look at each other in horror when you realize that Clay never actually paused the recording, and your conversation was now going to be in his possession forever. “DREAM!”

[moonlitceleste]

social media

Maribat Platonic November Day 5 - Social Media

@maribat-platonic-november​

Notes: This took me three days straight and an inordinate amount of research to pull off so uhhh hope you enjoy it :)

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mdc ✓ | 102 Following | 15M Followers | 837M Likes

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mdc ✓ ∙ 8-20

Soo I tried something new today

♫ | sound - Kismet - XIX

1.8M likes

2658 comments

marime OMFG YES QUEEN WORK IT

chloebee ✓ I told you it’d turn out good, didn’t I?

jasonsthunderthighs [id: Marinette is sitting on a stool, wearing an oversized Jagged Stone t-shirt, black shorts, and black flats. Her hair is in its signature pigtails. She kicks her legs up and the music changes. At the highest point of her kick, the outfit changes to a lace bodysuit, a silk blazer and silk straight-cut pants all in the same shade of red. Her shoulder-length hair is down and wavy, and she mouths the lyrics of the song while laughing. End id.]

lukasguitarpick new designs???

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timdrake ✓ | 0 Following | 0 Followers | 0 Likes

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theflyinggrayson ✓ | 15 Following | 45M Followers | 2B Likes

-

theflyinggrayson ✓ ∙ 8-22

go follow!!

♫ | original sound - theflyinggrayson

9.3M likes

16K comments

timmyboy OMG TIM MADE A TIKTOK WHAT AKSJDHSKA

graysonsass i wonder what bruce thinks about this

          stephswaffles ✓           👀

          graysonsass           WHATS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN

thebuttsmatch HE MADE A TIKTOK ACC BRB CRYING

simpforjasontodd when’s jason going to get one??

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timdrake ✓ | 3 Following | 12M Followers | 0 Likes

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ladybuggachat   @ladybuggachat

is anyone going to talk about how tim is only following dick, steph and mdc??

8:23 PM - August 22

25.6K Retweets 102.8K Likes

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mdc ✓ ∙ 8-23

Throwback time!

♫ | original sound - mdc

3.7M llikes

17.3K comments

stephbrownie TIM DRAKE IS FOLLOWING YOU

jasonsthunderthighs [id: Caption appears. It says “here are some designs I made back in lycée! The first piece is...

marigoldd guys what if she’s friends with the waynes

kiddiesection TIM DRAKE?????

iceprinceee idk who this girl is but i might stan

nevergunnagiveyouup the co-ceo of wayne ent is following you what 😭

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mdc ✓ | 105 Following | 35M Followers | 1.8B Likes

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mdc ✓ ∙ 8-29

Design with me - finding inspo for Jagged’s new tour!

♫ | original sound - mdc

1.8M likes

12.1K comments

nettiee it’s been a week and she still hasn’t said anything about tim

marisleftpigtail QUEEN

          mdc ✓           ty 🥰🥰

          marisleftpigtail           OMG SHE NOTICED ME ASDKJ

redrobinyum is it just me or is she filming somewhere else?

          batttsy           no ur right that kinda looks like gotham

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marinettedesigned We made some macarons today! They’re coffee flavored. ☕

2,172,783 likes

View all 2,802 comments

chatnuit am i insane or is that the wayne manor kitchen

marigoldd “we”?

            redrobinyum              kinda sus tbh

stephbrownie holdup didn’t dick say tim’s fav food was coffee

          hawkmothsucks           OMG YOURE RIGHT

-

batman stop wearing a cape

@nocapesedna

okay we all know jagged is friends w bruce, and since mari is his personal designer she has to know the waynes, right??

1:38 AM - August 30

32.8K Retweets 121.3K Likes

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marinettedesigned A day in the park! Look at this cute dog 🥰

1,829,543 likes

View all 1,452 comments

marisleftpigtail aww that’s so adorable

roselala ✓ I love puppies!!

marigoldd that kinda looks like damian wayne’s dog…

        redhoodiee         nah y’all are reaching

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chloebee ✓ ∙ 9-02

Marinette didn’t want to post this so I’m doing for her. You’re welcome. #riffchallenge

♫ | original sound - chloebee

3.1M likes

39.6K comments

casssserole j-jason??

jasonsthunderthighs [id: Marinette is sitting in the middle of a room on a stool. The music plays, and she sings a riff over it. Once she finishes, someone whistles off-screen and says “Damn, Pixie.” She scrambles for the camera, and the video shakes right before cutting off. End id.]

howmanywaynes candy store from heathers?? an intellectual i see

misterbuggie THATS JASON TODD THERES NO WAY IT ISNT

drac0ma1foy who cares if it’s a wayne can we talk about her sINGING LIKE WHAT

queenbeeswax chloe doing god’s work out here

jaggedsemohair is that a wayne i hear?

bluebirb there’s no way this girl knows the waynes

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mdc ✓ ∙ 9-03

Gymnastics challenge! I got bored so I decided to do this for fun—I’m by no means an actual gymnast so please don’t roast my technique askdj

♫ | original sound - mdc

2.3M likes

13.6K comments

marisleftpigtail how are you not an actual gymnast

nevergunnagiveyouup please my inflexible self could never

coffeeliterally i—dick grayson?? gymnastics??

kiddiesection 😳😳

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theflyinggrayson ✓ ∙ 9-03

@mdc thanks for dropping by 😉 

♫ | original sound - theflyinggrayson

9.3M likes

42.6K comments

nettiee MY WEAVE IS SNATCHED

mariwayneee ASKDHSKAJ I KNEW ITTTT

spidermxnn so we aren’t gunna talk ab how flexible these two are

graysonsass who’s the girl?

duckygrapes okay but this still doesn’t explain why tim followed her?

casssserole how did they do that routine so flawlessly

howmanywaynes JASON NOW DICK WHOS NEXT

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stephswaffles ✓ ∙ 9-05

@mdc 😪

♫ | original sound - stephswaffles

5.3M likes

22.6K comments

kermitstea the chaotic duo i never knew i needed

tiredcollegestudent @timdrake watch out bro she’s stealing your gf

jasonsthunderthighs [id: Caption appears. It says “going to McDonald’s drive-thrus to see how many are broken. Stephanie and Marinette get into a car. They arrive at the first store and…

ladygoogoo PLEASEEE THE WAY THEY YEETED OUT OF THERE SO QUICK

        timstephforever         “nope i don’t know her” iM DYING

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theflyinggrayson ✓ ∙ 9-08

trying to get @timdrake and @mdc to go to bed 

♫ | original sound - theflyinggrayson

2.7M likes

10.6K comments

grrrreeat imagine being a businessman and seeing tim in a meeting after watching this

tiredcollegestudent uhh how have they not died from overcaffeination

      literallymylife       and i thought my starbucks order was wack 😭

c0ffeeluvr jason did not hold back aksjd

      bruhbruhbruhh       their faces when he took away their coffee eye—

spoileralert duke needs to make a tiktok i’m starving

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theflyinggrayson ✓ ∙ 9-10

@mdc betrayal 💔💔

♫ | original sound - theflyinggrayson

9.8M likes

51.9K comments

iceprinceee WHAT OMG

mariharemm PLOT TWIST

hawkmothsucks i never saw this coming

chloebee ✓ You’re lucky I figured it out on my own, Dupain-Cheng.

      queenbeeswax       SHE PULLED OUT THE LAST NAME OOP

jasonsthunderthighs [id: Dick appears in the frame alongside Duke Thomas and Stephanie Brown. He talks to the camera, saying “Today we’ll be surprising Marinette.” Stephanie pipes in. “We asked her to hang out but she said she was busy designing. She’s probably overworking herself right now.” “She needs a Wayne’s night out,” says Duke. “So we’re going to her apartment to drag her out into the sunlight.” The three get into a car, and Dick records the ride. It looks very vlog-like. They stop the car and get out; only the pavement is recorded as they walk. The video cuts to Dick’s hand turning the doorknob. It then pans to a messy room with fabrics strewn all over the couch. “She’s not in this room,” whispers Dick. “Why don’t you try the studio? She’s probably in there,” Stephanie suggests. They walk further into the apartment, with Stephanie and Dick visible on the sides. They stop in front of a door, and she pushes it open. Once it's open, Marinette’s back can be seen. She is sitting on a chair with someone leaning over her. At closer inspection you can tell they are kissing. Dick gasps. “Is this why you didn’t want to hang out with me today?” The two break apart, showing Marinette’s astonished face and the person she just had her arms wrapped around. It’s Damian Wayne. His expression shifts from annoyance to displeasure as he spots the camera in Dick’s hands. The video shows him growling “Hand over the camera, Grayson!” before it rapidly blurs as the trio run off, laughing. An “oof” can be heard before the video cuts off to black. End id.]

-

PERMANENT TAGLIST

@avengerthewarrior @enternalempires @freesportspalacesalad @nathleigh

[notasiren21]

Head Canon:

Like what if Adrien keeps insisting Marinette is just a friend because of how she’s unable to be chill around him and constantly makes him feel like he’s intruding or breaking her personal boundaries??

We all saw how upset he got at the museum at the mere thought of her not seeing him as a friend and that alone could tear the boy’s heart in two given how high she is on a pedestal for him.

So what if he realizes how adorable and quirky and intelligent she is, like he’s acutely aware and he has this huge ass crush on her but he denies it because he thinks she can’t bear a similar reciprocal feeling to him at all.

Especially when Luka is in the picture and he’s more forward and blunt with Marinette (while still respecting her and being the lil gift from god that he is) and he’s just more expressive than Adrien is in civilian form??

And so everyday he insists Marinette is just a friend more so for himself.

And he allows himself to pine away after Ladybug because for some reason it may feel like a safe bet?? The girl with the mask who bears a striking resemblance to the girl who sits behind him in class? The one the kwamis say his usually his fated other half??? The girl who has kissed him a couple times (despite him never remembering)??

So like, Marinette is amazing and great and a warm person and he’s falling hopelessly in love with her in earlier seasons but he tries his damn hardest with LB because he can handle her rejection since they’ll still be partners and friends and somehow fated together.

But a rejection from Marinette Dupain-Chen’s could be the breaking point for him thinking she’ll not only reject him but also disconnect herself from him entirely and he knows for a fact he needs someone like her, more specifically, he needs Marinette in his pathetic civilian life.

It could also explain why he hits on her as Chat Noir disregarding him seeing a whole new side of her personality. He’s indulging what he can’t as Adrien, using the excuse of his mask to flirt with the girl he’s denying his feelings for.

And when she tries to kiss him as a statue he’s so set on the safe road with LB he’s convinced himself she’s messing around or doesn’t mean it or that he’ll be betraying his partner somehow.

And he’s only allowing himself to feel for her more now in the later seasons because she’s becoming a bit bolder with her actions but he’s young and he doesn’t know how to interpret them so he seeks Kagami when the LB pining starts to luck out and Mari is hanging out with Luka and he’s still got that fear of losing her and being hated.

Seriously, he indulges physical contact with her more than anyone, I think that includes Lb as well -ignoring the times they have to make contact for the mission or being thrown into one another or him rolling over with her and notice how he never makes contact with her body (yea I know it’s considered a kid’s show but play along with me).

The girl dances with him and he leans closer, closing his eyes and enjoying the moment. She falls asleep on his shoulder and he smiles and closes his eyes, resting his head against hers and falling asleep too. An akuma attacks and his civilian form immediately saves her every time if the opportunity presents itself but he does it in ways that brings him closer to her. Also we all can’t deny that damn almost film kiss he was so ready for compared to Chloé’s. Or the blush when she kissed his cheek.

AND WHEN HER HAIR WAS DOWN AND HE STARED AT HER SNDIENDIDN

Idk just a thought.

[bangtansfavwriter]

🌷taehyung having a crush on you🌷

(it had to be a gif w tannie ☺️💜)

-you're oblivious to the fact he's crushing on you bc he actually hides it pretty well (he wouldn't even blush or anything around you so it was actually pretty hard to figure it out, it was like a running gag between you and him that you'd make him blush one day, he was always like "you won't catch me blushing, ever" and you were like "we'll see about that posh spice")

-tbh when u guys first met, he was really reserved and took quite a while to open up to you

-he had this noir vibe when you first got to know him and he was quite the starer

- he was intimidating for sure, but the more you got to know him you saw that he's an absolute sweetheart

-now he's definitely brighter around you, smiles a lot and is more goofy

- will touch you a lot, he'll do it subtly though... you'll start to experience what a big effect a small touch can have

- makes time for you despite his busy schedule, hanging out with you is actually balancing for him and this is actually insanely fascinating for him, bc he tries to understand how it's possible that everything hectic in his life disappears as soon as he's together with you

-he's always dressed to the nines, even his casual attire is chicer than half of your wardrobe tbh

-very responsible, will help you get shit done and always has your back

-you once had trouble with your landlord bc this grumpy old fart really had the nerve to raise your rent when he didn't even bother fixing issues you've raised a complaint about

-taehyung listened to your rant while you were talking with a friend on the phone

-he asked some questions about your landlord after, it seemed pretty random to you and you didn't think about it much

-anyway, the issues in your flat were solved within 2 weeks and your landlord informed you that there will be no raise after all + he looked pretty nervous

- you asked him what made him change his mind and he just did the v pose

(you: , landlord: isn't this what youngsters do? hah..ha... *laughs nervously and leaves*, you: ???????)

-you told taehyung about the whole thing

you: i swear this man is on crack or something, he looks paranoid as hell lately

taehyung: yeah.... it must be .... the crack........ (😌)

-honestly he's your rock, he's forgetful sometimes but you still can always rely on him, no matter the weather

-sometimes taehyung can't express his thoughts properly but he can always count on you to understand what he wants to say.. he was quite baffled about that at first, but then you explained to him how the vibes of a person can sometimes say far more than words can express and that and that you would always understand his heart and, my dear, was the first time he wanted to kiss you

-he would ask you all sorts of questions bc he'd just love to hear you talk and learn about the way you think

- and he grew more and more comfortable around you, so his walls slowly crumbled around you with each joke you made and each secret you've shared with him

-and whenever he spoke about his dreams and future plans he included you like it was something completely natural and you could feel your heart race whenever he said something about this

-will take you the his favourite spots in the city and tell you his about his favourite memories he made there

-you guys would also go on long walks together, btw you meeting yeontan was one of the best days of his life tbh and this fluffy lil fella also loved you so much that tae was like "...are you kidding?" but he secretly loved it and filmed you with tannie very very often

-also, one time he left tannie in your care bc he was busy and he wasn't able to leave him with his parents on short notice... tae had spare keys to your flat anyway, so you just told him to come to yours whenever he was done

-and so he did and... he clutched his chest and was like "have mercy with my heart" because you and yeontan were cuddled together on your bed and fast asleep

-and tae stood there at your bedroom's door frame with the biggest smile on his face and tried so hard not to squeal bc this was one of the cutest things he'd ever seen, so he did what he had to do and took a picture of you two and then layed down next to you and fell asleep

-the next morning, you woke up to yeontan trampling over your chest and then hopping off the bed

-you closed your eyes again but you could still hear light snores next to you, so you turned around you were face to face with taehyung.... who's still so damn handsome that it's almost unfair bc you were pretty sure you probably drooled at some point... but he was still taking your breath away even with his slightly puffy face and messy hair

-you traced your fingers along his jawline and looked at him, thinking how lucky you must be... he snuck into your bed and now you were laying there, on a rainy morning.. like a couple that also happened to have the cutest dog

-you were caught by surprise when his eyes fluttered open and he looked at you, grinned and said "good morning' with his deep morning voice that made you all giddy... "I let myself in, I hope you don't mind..." and, sufficient to say, you did not, obviously. "tannie and you... looked pretty comfy, I wanted to join. oh, and would you mind continuing that?" he took your hand and put it to back to his face, but not without gently kissing the tip of your fingers. You smiled at him, cupped his cheek and caressed it. He slid his hands beneath your shirt and slowly pulled you closed to him, you hugged him and nestled your head against his chest. You were laying there with your legs intertwined and the only thing you heard was taehyung's rapid heart beat and the rain dribbling on your window, a moment which was the closest thing to bliss... a moment that was interrupted by his phone going off and yeontan appearing out off nowhere, jumping on the bed and running over you. taehyung groaned and grabbed his phone, as you giggled and took yeontan in your arms and cuddled him when taehyung had get up. you knew by his apologetic look that this was work and that your moment of bliss was now officially over.

-taehyung was equally upset about this, both didn't try to show the other but yeah, both of you loved the moment you shared and hated the fact that it was cut short bc bangtan had to do a re-recording

-taehyung left yeontan in your care again since you had the weekend off and promised to be back as soon as possible, to take continue where you left off. he was back at 1:28 am & drunk off his ass, turns out the boys insisted on going for drinks to celebrate that they were done with the songs and taehyung couldn't say no

-yeontan fell asleep after the 3rd walk you took him on and didn't even wake up when tae started making all that noise when he was back.

-tae's went straight for your bed and crashed there. His phone rang and you picked up after seeing it was namjoon, who got an earful from you bc you were pretty sure they didn't wanna deal with drunk tae and left him in your care, but namjoon sincerely explained to you that tae almost FOUGHT jin and yoongi when they wanted to take him to the dorms and that tae insisted on going to your place bc he had "important business" to do

you: tf is that supposed to mean?

nj: he said you need to talk things out or something. or tell you something? well, speaking is involved, idk and idc, im not too sober myself, so good night~

-maybe it was the sleep deprivation making you all mush-brained... but what if.... what if tae wanted to confess? after your cuddly morning it probably wouldn't be too far off to assume that, or would it?

-you laughed at yourself and went back to bed, where taehyung had hogged your duvet, so you got out another one and layed down.. taehyung tossed and turned, sighed and mumbled something

-drunk as he was, you didn't think much of it, apart from that, you were almost asleep, but he lifted himself from the bed and said your name

you: what is it, tae ?

him: I need to confess something

you: *suddenly wide awake* 👀👂

him: .... I.... I forgot to buy anchovies *falls back asleep*

you: KIM TAEHYUNG

him: ...huh?? what????

you: is that the important thing you had to tell me? the thing you told namjoon about??

-he turned around and looked at you with wide eyes, he, too was suddenly wide awake and from the look on his face you knew that this was in fact not about anchovies... "We'll talk tomorrow, when I'm sober again." ... you knew he was right, but curiosity has gotten the better of you. you agreed, but it took both of you quite a while to fall asleep again.

-you woke up the next morning, only to find the other half of your bed empty

-after throwing your pillow across the room, you got up, feeling a mixture of sadness, disappointment and anger

-he took yeontan with him too and didn't leave you a note nor a message explaining why he left

-you took a long shower, then got dressed and just as you were about to make breakfast... your front door opened and tae came in, with yeontan on a leash in one hand and a bag from your favourite bakery in the other

-you stared at him, completely bedazzled for a second but then glared at him, which took him by surprise. he smiled nervously... "what the hell, taehyung?" you said angrily, but deep down you were so damn relieved he was back. "We went for a walk and then I went to buy your favourites, since you always get up around this time" he said, while taking tannie's leash off, and smiled. "What did you think, hm?" - "well, I certainly didn't expect you to deal so well, looking at how you came in last night." - "oh you learn a thing or two when you're a performer" the two of you laughed and he knew he's off the hook. you started cutting fruits and he quickly joined you after he washed his hands. "so about that important thing from last night", he began and looked at you with a smile, as your cheeks blushed almost instantly, "I really wanted to make this right because this isn't something I want to do when I'm drunk. I think you understand that, right?". You tried very hard to hide go keep a straight face, but you couldn't hide your smile. Taehyung giggled. "Look at me..." he said with a husky tone that excited you even more. You looked at him with a raised eyebrow and smiled, as you knew what was coming and he smiled because you knew.

💕

epilogue

-you had noticed he put the pic of you and yeontan sleeping as his screensaver-

you: nice screensaver btw 👀

tae: *tries to keep his cool.. blushes v hard*

you: OH MY GOD

tae: STOP

[folkloreguk]

Strip Uno (optional bias smut)

A/N: It’s been 84 years since I last posted...thank you to the sweet messages I’ve been getting, you guys motivate me so much! I hope you like this one! (fyi: It’s another friends to lovers scenario, idk why I keep writing those lol)

Pairing: reader x optional bias (male)

“I'd appreciate if the house was still standing when we get back home, okay honey?” your mom said, closing the car trunk.

“Mom! H/N's coming over and we're gonna watch some movies or whatever we feel like, no big deal,” you replied, rolling your eyes. “I'm not nine years old, I can take care of myself.”

“I know that,” your mom said with a smile, getting into the seat next to your dad. “Have fun, I love you.”

“Love you too,” you replied. She shut the door and they drove off. The second they had left the driveway, you fished for your phone in your pocket. Eagerly, you texted your best friend.

Come over later

My parents aren't home

we can build a blanket fort

or mess up the kitchen

Make pancakes??

 As always, it only took him a few minutes to reply.

 first of all I'm never cooking pancakes with you again

I'll be over in a bit

You grinned at his message, getting excited. Even though you saw him almost every single day, there was no better feeling than knowing you were going to have so much fun with him. Like you always did. And since you both became grown ups, you had started to notice your slight attraction towards him. It wasn't like you were in love with him. (That's what you told yourself, at least.) It was just that every time you two spent time together, you noticed it more and more. It was mostly harmless flirting, but it was most certainly mutual. Which only kept you from holding back even more.

Half an hour later, your doorbell rang.

“Did you shrink overnight or did your sweater grow?” was the first thing he said after spotting you in the door frame. He was grinning cheekily and you rolled your eyes.

“It's called oversized and I bought it that way on purpose,” you explained. “I swear to god, you're so uncultured.”

He simply chuckled at your comment and started going off about some school project he was supposed to do. Apparently hanging out with you was more important to him. For a change, you headed into your living room instead of your room.

You had to admit, perhaps you had checked him out as he was walking in front of you. His hair was done nicely, but he was in a comfortable hoodie and his black sweatpants hung on his hips lowly. After he had approached the armrest of the sofa, he flung himself across it, landing in the soft pillows and giving you a playful glare.

“So blanket forts,” he began, “I've been told I'm great at building those.”

“Oh yeah? By whom exactly?” you asked, falling onto the sofa from the opposite side, so your head was next to his, but your legs pointed in different directions.

“My many ladies,” he claimed. You snorted at him.

“You mean your plushies that still sit on your bed?”

“Hey! Too far! You still have plushies too!” he instantly fought back.

“Okay, fair enough, I'm just kidding,” you laughed. “Let's do it then. Show off your skills to me.”

“First, we need every blanket we can get,” he ordered right away. When you looked at him, he was already up, collecting the pillows and blankets in your living room.

The next fifteen minutes you spent looking through drawers. You were surprised at just how many blankets you managed to gather.

“Are you finding any?” he shouted from the living room downstairs. Too busy to reply, you tried hard not to trip down the stairs.

“Does this seem like enough to you?” you questioned. In your arms you were balancing not only around six massive blankets, but also a game of UNO that you had randomly found. You realized you hadn't played it in way too long, and therefore taken it with you.

“Perfect,” he agreed, laughing at your clumsy walk.

Meanwhile, H/N had carried chairs and pillows and even your clothes airer into the room. He had already begun with the positioning, creating a loose concept of where the fort would soon be. When you dropped the blankets and the game, his expression changed.

“Full offence, but playing uno with two people sucks,” he stated. In response you gave him a look of disagreement. Then you decided you would have to convince him later. For now, there was another objective.

As you started the building, you realized a few things.

1. It is seemingly easier to build a stable fort as a grown up person

2. It is more difficult to build a big enough fort for two grown up people

3. It is just as much fun as it used to be

Twenty minutes, lots of laughter and even more concentration later, you were standing in what had to be the most extravagant blanket fort you had ever laid eyes on.

“This, if I may say so myself, is iconic,” he said, putting his arm around your shoulder like you had just completed building your own mansion. You could only agree.

Next, you spent around ten minutes trying to persuade him into a game of UNO. But to no success. Eventually, you ended up next to him in the fort. A bowl of popcorn sat in your lap and your favourite film was playing. To be fair, it had only come to this because he told you he would think about playing with you if you watched a movie first. And when he requested your favourite, you said yes without thinking.

“Stop crying, nothing bad is happening,” he laughed at you. A popcorn landed on you as he threw it. You picked it up and ate it, giving him a glare.

“I can't help it, this is the best scene,” you admitted through teary eyes. Right away, another popcorn flew your way. You were terribly tempted to get him back. For the sake of your fluffy carpet you changed your mind.

“That's so cute,” he said, staring at you while you were completely immersed in the scene. Still you caught yourself wanting to give him a smile, maybe say something flirty back. Instead, you grinned a little, but kept your eyes on the screen of your laptop.

After the movie was over, you brought the bowl and the laptop outside of the tent. Of course you returned with the UNO. It had gotten later at night, but you were determined as ever. Plus, it was Saturday. He was probably going to stay overnight anyway. Or at least that's what happened 9 out of 10 weekends.

“It's still a no from me,” he said the second you put down the game in front of him.

“Please!” you begged. “I haven't done this in so long, I wanna play it so bad!”

He sighed from where he was lying on the ground. One of his hands was supporting his head while the other was reaching for the box of the game. He was smiling brazenly now, and you wondered what was going through his mind.

“Okay, I'll play with you,” he said. You clapped in excitement, but he raised one finger. “If…we put a little twist to it.”

“Fine! What is it?” you asked, wanting to start playing as quickly as possible. He gave you another cheeky look, and you were slightly worried.

“We'll play strip uno,” he said. Like it was the most normal request in the world.

“What the hell are you talking about?” you replied, confused but not as surprised as you thought you would be.

“You know, like strip poker. We'll play and the loser takes off one article of clothing until-” he began.

“I know how strip poker works!” you interrupted him.

“Great? Why did you ask then?” he replied, fake innocence on his face. You let out air through your nose and shook your head. Your mind was spinning. Flirting between you two was one thing, this was a whole other. Then you thought. You wanted to play this game. Now. And you thought of all the times he had seen you in a bathing suit. This wasn’t so different, was it?

“On one condition,” you said.

“You're proposing a condition on my condition?” he asked jokingly.

“We'll stop at the underwear,” you told him.

“We'll see,” he replied, completely calm. Again, you shook your head. But his answer was good enough for you. You knew he was just fooling with you now.

So it be. As you played the first round, your heart was beating way too fast for you liking. He's just your best friend, dammit, calm down, you told yourself. It didn't work for a second.

On his part, he suddenly acted as if UNO had always been his favourite game. Even though he was the first one to lose.

“Next round!” he exclaimed, throwing his socks away. At some point his enthusiasm caught you and you had to admit, you were less nervous and felt like this was more fun with every card you laid down. And so it went, round after round.

You lost and took off your socks. He lost and took off his hoodie, under which he was wearing another shirt. You lost, and took off your pants. He lost and took off his pants. At least you were even for now.

“Final round!” you said. He was wearing his shirt and you had your sweater, that covered your bra underneath. This round was worse than the previous ones. You could feel a kind of tension in the air, there was less joking around and more stares into each others eyes. You weren't sure what was going to happen after the game was over, but you had a few ideas.

Maybe it was the idea of him possibly losing, but you suddenly used every spark of imagination on what his bare skin would look like. What it would feel like under your fingertips. No matter what would happen after the game, this thought would haunt you until you had found out what it would be like to touch him.

He only had three cards left, while you had six. But frankly, you didn't really care for winning any more. Not when he was there, right in front of you. So damn handsome and charming. When had you begun feeling this way towards him?

You barely noticed as he put down his last card.

“uno uno!” he cheered, giving you a daring look. You wanted nothing more than to simply bend over and kiss him. Instead, you did as the rules said and took off your sweater. The way he looked at you only made it worse. How he licked over his lip just for a moment and how his eyes travelled down your body just shortly, before locking them with your gaze.

“Again,” he commanded.

“It's over, my clothes are gone, I'm not taking off any more,” you reminded him of your rule.

“Come on! Let’s just play another round,” he insisted. You were sitting close to him, but not close enough to feel his body heat. When you looked at him you noticed his eyes on your lips. Then you realized he was still waiting for an answer.

“Whatever, let’s play again then. But I’m keeping my word. No more clothes are coming off,” you gave in, just because you had no idea what to do otherwise. You didn’t want to get away from him now, and what else could you have requested that would have involved being half-naked right next to him?

The last round you played in complete silence. It didn’t feel silent in your head though. Every smile he gave you, made you feel dizzy, like you were drunk. You kept catching him as he stared at you, waiting for you to put down a card. And for the record, you were in the process of losing and he knew.

Then he put his last card onto the pile.

“Uno uno! I won again!” he triumphed. You grinned at his excitement and opened your mouth to ask what to do next. But you noticed his gaze on you, like he was waiting for his order at McDonald’s. It was ridiculous, this boy never gave up. For a few seconds you returned his look. Then you decided to just chance it, and speak.

“What?” you finally asked. “If you want my bra off so bad, you’re gonna have to do it yourself, because I won’t.”

Just for a moment, he was taken aback. Slight confusion and reluctance played on his face. But you gave him a look that said more than a thousand words could have, and suddenly he bent forward and was kissing you.

It wasn’t a romantic, sweet kiss. It was hungry, like you had just found an oasis in a desert after a week of searching. It was like fire when his tongue touched yours for the first time. Your heart was drumming against your ribcage with so much eagerness, you thought it might break it.

At the same time his hands had moved to the back of your bra, fidgeting around for a while until it opened. Without really thinking, you pushed the cards aside and moved over to straddle his waist. His lips moved messily against yours while your fingers tangled in his hair. You couldn’t help but moan softly when his hands made contact with your boobs, his thumb circling around your nipples ever so slowly.

You felt like it was only fair to finally get rid of his shirt too, but when you reached for it, his hand closed around your wrist.

“I didn’t lose, remember?” he asked, clearly joking. He earned a playful hit for that comment. Then he swiftly pulled the fabric over his head. You barely had time to stare at how hot he looked before he kissed you again.

A strained sound left his throat when you ground your hips into his. It kind of sounded like he had just lost to you at Mario Kart (which he often did), just as little higher pitched. It might have been a weird comparison, but after all, he was your best childhood friend.

When you did it again, he moaned even louder, let his head hang back and closed his eyes tightly. Almost like he was trying to control himself, but seemed to be failing.

You took it as a perfect chance to bend forward and kiss his exposed neck. His skin under your lips felt just as you had imagined. Soft and smooth, letting your mouth follow every curve. At the same time you never stopped rolling your hips against his. Now that both of you were left in your underpants, the lack of clothing only turned you on even more.

As your crotch pressed against his already hard bulge, it made something twist the pit of your stomach. Something eager and impatient. Your breaths mixed up as you went from kissing to catching air. All those years of being friends you had never looked this closely into his eyes. They sparkled, even in the dim lighting inside the blanket fort.

“Have you ever thought about doing this before?” you suddenly asked. You didn’t know what had driven you, but you needed to know.

“Having sex?” he asked, followed by a restless sigh of when your hips moved against his.

“Having sex with me,” you said. “Be honest.”

“You want me to be honest?” he asked. He was quiet for a few times, his breathing just as uneven as yours. “I've lost count of how many times I've pictured this.”

Not sure what to say, you leaned forward and kissed him again. You shivered beneath his touch, when his hands wandered down your chest and to your waist, drawing small circles. His hold matched your movement when you rolled your hips over his. They followed the curve of your hips and to the small of your back.

Only when they softly touched the inside of your thighs, you realized you were holding your breath. A tense sigh left your lips when his hand slipped past your pants and between your folds. In no time he was curling his fingers against your sweet spot, seeing how you reacted to his touch. You said his name in a weak tone, your eyelids fluttering in pleasure.

“I like when you say my name like that” he stated, grinning cockily but his eyes looked as if he was in pure awe.

“Right...there,” you whimpered. He fastened his pace, rubbing small circles against your clit until you barely managed to keep your eyes open.

“I can’t wait any longer,” you spoke, softly tugging on the waistband of his boxers to let him know what you were referring to.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Never been more sure,” you replied, and whimpered right after, when he detached his hand from your aching center.

For a moment you sat next to him, so you could both shed off your underwear. When his eyes locked with yours, almost like he was luring you in, you climbed back into his lap.

Another time you gave him a questioning look, and he gave you a small nod. He hissed when you touched his member, pumping him a few times before aligning the tip with your entrance.

You both cursed in unison as you sank down on him, and just for a second you couldn’t help but laugh at each other. There was a moment when he twirled a strand of your hair between his fingers, and you almost failed to believe what was going on.

Then you slowly started to move, and you stopped thinking completely. He began rubbing your clit again, this time messier but it felt even better now. Somehow he seemed to know just how to touch you, even after this short amount of time.  

Meaningless words and moans filled the air beneath the blankets. He had his eyes shut for a few seconds, and you examined his face as it twisted in pleasure and his mouth hung open just a little. His hair was disheveled now, and a small hickey adorned his neck. You blushed at the thought of someone other than you might seeing it.

You could tell he was getting closer, and so were you. Seeing as you both had been so worked up, you knew it wouldn’t take long.

“You feel so good,” you moaned, wrapping your arms around his neck. He only groaned in response, and you buried your head where his shoulder met his neck. Your breath fanned against his skin as you closed your eyes and concentrated on the feeling of his fingers on your clit and of him inside of you.

“I’m so close,” you spoke against his neck. “H/N, oh my god.”

“Me too,” he spoke. His voice was husky and the fingers of his hand was buried in your skin, pushing you against him and making you move faster. Just a few more seconds of his moans, and his fingers working their magic on you, and you saw stars in front of your eyelids.

His name fell from your lips like a mantra as you came. Your hand closed around his wrist, too sensitive to take any more. You forced yourself to keep moving steadily, wanting to see him reach his high too.

It didn’t take long. For a while his jaw clenched and he breathed quickly through his nose, then his lips parted and his fingers dug into your sides as his orgasm washed over him. Slowly you rolled your hips another few times before you halted completely and climbed off him.

For a couple seconds you blankly stared at each other. Then he started smiling like an idiot and fell backwards into the pillows, his arms flopping to his sides lifelessly. You thought of the only rational thing to do, and lay down with him, supporting yourself on your arm and facing him. The way his chest moved slowly as he breathed made you feel peaceful.

“Are we still just friends after this?” he suddenly asked. You thought for a while.

“I think we haven’t been just friends for a long time now,” you admitted. He chuckled in agreement.

“Good, because I want us to be more” he said. A warm happiness spread in your chest at his smile.

“I need to tell you something,” he suddenly said in a different tone. You were awaiting something sentimental, but surely not what he said next.

“The last time we played and you lost,” he started, “I didn’t say uno when I had only one card left. You wouldn’t have lost if you had noticed.”

The way he grinned at you made you want to slap and kiss him at the same time. But you only gave him a playfully warning glare.

“I’m hungry,” he said, quickly changing the topic before you could complain. “You wanna order pizza?”

[charmed-asylum]

👨‍🍳# FOODIE👨‍🍳

#Foodie, Part 2

Summary: Something happening in Easter Hills. Something that effecting everyone under the surface. Could this just be a phase a trick that no one can shack off? Is this something that will pass with another or can we all be heading for destruction

Declaimer: #Foodie has some curse words, blood, making out, and maybe a dead body or 2??. Also, I do have dyslexia who happens to do her own proof reading so be easy with me!!!

A/N:So who would think after doing a love story I go be switching it up to some sci-fi. Let me know what you think or want to be added to the taglist. Or simple to sit my butt down and stop with the dramatics xoxo Tia

MASTER LIST // Previous Chapter (1) 

Tagged: @weapinggwillowss​ @kittykatlow​ @alagalaska @deansblackbeauty

2 weeks later 

My fingers intertwined with his as he locks and kisses them. He doesn’t know I know but he a snuggle monster the reject monster from Sesame Street. Another secret I love it. We haven’t had much time as I will hope with one another. Even though he was back from the war he still was working as deputy while he was home. I pout like a two-year-old who got denied a brand new toy from a toy store. But we made it work. He moves me close as he whispers praise in my ear in his deep voice that makes me shiver a cool chill.

I only had 15 minutes left of my break with him. God how I miss him. After Janet left me teary-eyed in the abandoned hallway apart of me felt I was in old westerns like I was waiting for her around and draw her guy. That night he came over and hold me as I cried into his strong chest hands wrap as far as I could around his broad shoulders. Each night I founded my self there. Even if I was asleep he sneaks in and holds me. Letting me know he was never gonna leave me. 

He looks down into my eye out time coming to an end with a bit of sorrow regret. Hopping up so I can reach his face I pepper kiss him with each hop. Watching as his smile spread from ear to ear he loves when I did this be my silly tiny self. Knowing he always be my savior. His eyes were dark like midnight sky but were as bright as the sun. Others wouldn’t see this wouldn’t think he was more than a brick wall but he was more. Just like me more than meets the eye. Each day I’m happy god loves me to bring him to me. Bring me someone that made me feel things I never did before. 

“ I gotta go. I was only supposed to drop off another animal to you, baby “ He said in muffled from my lips. 

Lending back hold his hands close , “ Yeah but it was you who  wanted to start kissing me. I’m only here to basket it all this”.

This was been a familiar thing the last two weeks animals found dead somewhere or sick with some type of rabies. Blood from Mr. Fuzzy Bear only adds to the mystery. Blood work consists of an unfamiliar source. I went anymore I know and even the internet god the internet. After weeks of looking non stop trying to find anything to make me more at ease. NOTHING. I wanted to express this to KP but he only tells me to stop worrying.

“ BABY” KP tickle me under my underarms. I twitch and almost trip. “ I was talking and you did that moody thing you do. Is this Janet” he asked. YES NO I DONT KNOW I rub my forehead gently and peek up at him and nod.

I hate lying most importantly very bad at it. Even though he knew it was more he still allowed it to be, this time. 

“ I am taking you out. Show you off. Remind folks who you belong too. Which means I want you to be out this little head of yours. Janet she many things but all with reasoning. Give her time didn’t you say she nods at you other days” KP said. God his voice.

“ Your right probably PMS. Or something. Where we going” I asked looking down. I could hear my name-calling for me and some chaos.

“IAASC I KNOW HE SEXY EYE CANDY BUT GET YOUR ASS IN HERE-OW” Ethan scream out. I giggle and peck his cheek and ran off.

“ I CALL YOU ILY “ I shouted over my shoulder.

He ruffles his thick black hair across his hands as she smirks at me.

“ILY2” He said.

Everything was like walking into the war zone. Ethan was sitting on a chair holding her arm that was gushing blood out and Casey walking back and forth. I swipe up a rabies shot and quickly gave it to her and took her arms into my arms to looks at it. So much blood my arms got painted red. With a finger snap, Casey passes me the 1st aid kit as I dress the wound. Ethan was laughing all while. After thanking Casey ask sending her off for a break treating her like my child even though she was twice my age I gave the tickle me Ethan my attention.

“ You need to go to the hospital. That looks nothing like something seen before where the animal that did it” I asked looking around.

“ Killed it” She said like it was nothing. My eyebrow bent at this as I look her.

“ I need to call KP back he and sheriff can come over and help” I said pulling my phone out my pocket.

“Shit that fucker a bitch. I go okay I go I’m fine I go later. You did everything right by the way. It’s dead. We take it to the trash and that it” She said then look at me finally. I was a mess. To say the least. I bit the corner of my cheek till it bleeds and the iron the mint of him I was chewing on earlier.

Her eyes look glassy and she had a gentle sweat coming down her forehead. Didn’t it bit her not even a half-hour ago? I walk over and grab the bloody towels and help her up to sit down in her office under the AC. Closing the door I look hands it still had traces of her blood on it. I close my eyes and tried to relax. Taking deep breaths I went over to the sink and started to scrum till my hands were bright red from the friction.

“ Is she alright? “ Casey asks poking her head into the exam room. I peak over and back at my hands.

“ Yeah, she huh. Resting. Hey, what even happen that was so like the strange right” I said adding extra words to sound like I wasn’t just obsessing over it.

Casey pulled out a cigarette from her pocket and pluck it in her mouth getting ready to share something.

“ While you were outside smacking lips with Mr fuck for brains and takeout outside” she stops and looks at me.

“ I was upfront talking to Rachel about our lasted book club meeting. And she was talking about this new craze when one of the animals that came in just bounced up to life and start making sounds hissing and shit. Went sideways. The animal was acting all crazy like Bob does when he drank that moonshine and whiskey during October fair of 2003. Anyway, I rushed back and she was swinging at it with a paperweight” she said raking in another inhale of her cigarette. With a few coughs and tap, she looks around before talking some more.

“ You know a lot of shit been happening around here. I have been here all my life sadly and I would know. You know what it is huh?” She said putting her cigarette out with the bottom of her shoe. “ Damn Liberals. Probably put some damn glitter dusk on shit and made folks all crazy “She said as if it was a known fact. Did I not mention she a bit of a blowup doll racist. Try to explain to her just because I look Spanish doesn’t mean I am. Now she always says Ho Lay. Like that means something more than being a bitch. But she Casey and there no one like her.

“ You never know. So where is it now the animal ” I said drying my hands?

“ Out in the front. Sucker ugly mug tosses a blanket over it” Casey said nodding to the front. I nod and look around trying to let everything sit. Before she could walk off I without even thinking grab tight to her arm and pulled her into a hug. My hand ran up and down as I hold her tight.

“ Stay safe. Cas” I said. She chuckled and pat my back before going. I don’t know why I did it. Maybe a part of me knew something was gonna happen. That I was about to head down a steep drop something I will never be able to recover from.

The animal or what was left of it was like Casey said a mess. Scattered with its brains and head mushed. I poke it a few times before taking my pocket knife and stabbing it in the brain just in case. I wasn’t trying to live my life in a horror film. When I took the knife back out there was a strange goo mix with the blood. What the fuck I whisper to myself as I knee down and got closer to look. Just like I thought it was just like Mr. Fuzzy Bear. This was not a dog and this in on ways was a house pet. How strange how can two things so far from one another by going through the same thing. Can it be a generic trait from mammals? Or animals?

Ethan was quiet for the rest of the night. She didn’t move out of her office and when she did she was still sweating and shivering. I knew I promise KP not to worry but I couldn’t.

Me: Promise not to laugh but I have a question

Mi Amore: Haha what up sweetie

Me: Have there been any strange animal behavior or attacks? I know I’m coo-coo 😛😛

Mi Amore: 🤔 idk. Yeah, old man, Nick has been coming about some behavior. But that’s about it. Ur not crazy just crazy beautiful. Y??

Me: Remember when I was called in. Ethan got bite by a stray animal. Just wondering. I miss U  💋 💋 💋 

Mi Amore: Never stop. If you promise to stop worrying I keep an eye on it. And stop by to check out on Ethan tonight or tomorrow. Alright babe

Me: Kk thnx KP 

Mi Amore: ILY let me know when you get home

Me: ILY2  😘

Old man Nick was crazy still believing that aliens were never in Roswell but here. But his word is not so reliable he is married to his chicken Cheryl. I paced around that night in my room thinking trying not to think. He was right I need to stop worrying. I pulled out my pink paper and my fuzzy pens from my desk and sat on my bed and starting to write. Could me not having Janet be making me acting like an old man Nick, god I hope not. So I did what KP did and after my letter to Janet, I decided to not worry about it.

My feet bounce from one to another as I ran across the neighborhood. I felt a bit of sweat coming from under my lavender purple sports bra and forehead. Hair swinging from left to right right to left as I power through. In theory, if I wanted to I could run my whole town form one end to another. Music blast though my Bluetooth Air Pods. As I turn I reach Bloom Ave I made a quick left and push through till I reach a familiar two-story house at the end of the dead street. It sits back in the dirt a bit with a few stubs in the ground that somehow went perfect with the grey clay outer skeleton with huge windows and white curtains and a bright red wooden door. No cars in the driveway weren’t unfamiliar. Janet's mom or body double was always out at the local bar on some table dancing talking about her glory days. Janet hates that and even though she never told a soul she always fears she becomes that. Be stuck in the middle of nowhere no love and memories of when life was fearless Couldn’t ever be like that I told her as sat back on a black and white blanket sipping on my organic lemonade. She smiles and asks why. Because I will be there no quicksand right. She smiles and nods no quicksand.  I wipe my eyes as I came up to the front porch. I knock a few times before I gave up. Hail Mary twisting my neck a bit I look around to the empty street. From the corner of my eye, I could see the shades move. I turn my head around so quickly I got dizzy. I ran towards the window and tap at it. Trying to look in. It was blurry but I can dang sure I saw someone. I called out and bang it a few times. She was not gonna answer. With a exhale I turn and leaned against the window and slide till I was on the ground. I never gave up but this was starting to look like the only thing I could do. Was not doing that stupid drug that big of a deal. More. More I thought about it I got anger mad-sad even. Whipping my eyes with the back of my hand I got up and grab a few rocks. And started hitting the window calling out for her. Pissed I storm in circles across the front door like a madwoman. 

" I don't know what wrong but FUCK IT. YOU KNOW I CARE ABOUT YOU AND YOU DOING THIS IS FUCK UP. BECAUSE OF BLOODY DAMN DRUG. YOU PROMISE ME MOON AND STARS WE ARE NOTHING WITHOUT THE OTHER. SO IM NOT LEAVING IF I HAVE TO WRITE TO YOU AND LEAVE A FREAKIN LETTER OR CALL I AM. I KNOW SOMETHING FUCKIN WRONG. WHAT WE ARE YES IT IS COMPLICATED AND NOT WAY OF THINGS BUT I DO ANYTHING FOR YOU. THIS SHIT CHILDISH. YOU FUCKIN PROMISE J. They all leave me and you promise you won't" I stumble to my knees and hold onto my face with my hands and cried. I can't hate her even when I wanted to I can't. I cry and cry to the point my sweat and tears were blending into one.

Slowly getting up I look at the house once time. I lost. I lost over something so stupid. Crazy as it is if I could go back knowing what I know I still won't take that duck fuckin drug. I would just fight more so Janet wouldn't.

" No quicksand " I whisper before I walk off in defeat.

At work I didn't move much I just sat there listening to Casey about how Ethan couldn't make it something about going to the urgent care next town over. Casey was pleased because it meant she could leave early. Cleaning up the back exam rooms I recognize the towel Ethan used when she got attack day before. FUCK IT. I Peak before I snoop over to the magnifying glass and cup a piece of the towel and took a look. I tried squeezing my eyes but it wasn't close enough DARN I crushed at myself as I ruffle my hair through my hands. Biting the corner of my lip I look over for something anyway. JACKPOT. I rushed over and bent down to go through old equipment until I found the microscope that I remember Ethan told me about when I first started helping out. Sometimes about it not working right but if there one thing I was work with what you got a type of girl. It is I tap the metal table till the light came on. Grabbing the piece of the towel I place it over and fetch my glasses out my chest pocket and kiss my eyes to the lends. At first, it looks right till I saw a few things in the corner that didn't look quite right. The light kept flicking above me with an annoying buzz. Was it stupid yes but who said I was smart. More I tried to focus louder the buzz got. Till the office phone ring making me jump out my damn skin with a loud final act scream. AHHHH.

After a second to realize it was the phone, I quickly answer it. Hello, I said slightly out of breath. I heard heavy breathing. I repeated my self. Still nothing but heavy breathing. This isn't funny I said about to poop a golden egg. Still, it was heavy breathing. I can't hear you breathing I said looking around second-guessing every life decision I ever made. I gonna hang up I said but something stops me. Three words. No QUICKSAND. My eye widens Janet. I scream into the phone for her a bit excited and more so worried. But all I got was a dial tone I tried to call her but she didn't answer.

Each night around the same time the same message those three words. Of course, I tried to make her say anything else but no. My mind races trying to figure it out till each time I came to the same conclusion, she did not want my help or worst she could not ask for it.

I tap my foot as I look at my planner trying to figure out what to wear for my date with KP today. Strawberry favor purple teddy bear he got me on our first date sat on my lap between my thighs. He did tell me much but just it was a casual date no restaurant this time. We need that a few times when he was in school ones out of town. I liked those I could be anyone I wanted to be even though I could only drink the bottled water and had to bring omg own food. If they didn’t have things like organic apples. The third one we did he told me of his dream ones that included me. I like those a lot. Even after the two years when he went off to the army to take down the bad guys. Each letter you write adventures about life we were gonna have. I told him I didn’t care just wanted him there to hold me and love me. Stupid I know but stuck in a small town you can get caught up in those dreams.

After a few minutes of debating I pick up my feet push and turn around and around in my chair holding the hand of teddy. Hoping off after a few turns around I click on my radio and just decide to go with the flow whatever I was feeling. REMEMBER A DAY BY PINK FLOYD starting to play. I bop my head and shake my hips as I look through my denim.

Remember a day before today

A day when you were young.

Free to play alone with time

Evening never comes.

Toss a blue denim skirt with a beach wave cut on the bottom and round bottoms on the front. I lose myself in the beat that was creeping through my soul. Singing off-key look over my shoulders and pull out short sleeves stripe blue and black with a hint of the orange shirt.

Climb your favourite apple tree

Try to catch the sun

Hide from your little brother’s gun

Dream yourself away

I walk backward as I sang with my teddy in my hands the outro plucking out my round black shades to complete the outfit. Licking my lips I look into the mirror with items place in front to imagine how it would look. Something was messing I look behind and saw one of his old button-ups he left one night he stayed. Taking I deep breath in I look up to my ceiling knowing if things go well maybe I go a step forward. Or maybe not.

He came at exactly at 12 o clock. Rolling up in his 2010 Black Ford Raptor with the music blasting. I hope up without thought ran over as soon as it stops. Before I could get in I saw a few blankets on the passenger seat. Peaking up I saw him staring at me with those intoxicating midnight eyes that match his thick cut on side and swoosh in the front black hair. That I love to tug and play with between my dainty fingers. His smile was so wide that it shows off his perfect pearly whites. Reaching closer I smile into a kiss and I felt a lift as he pulls me in and into his lap. To deepen our kiss the taste of his toothpaste and hint of orange juice he must have had before coming over. Recently he taught me the fun of French kissing and art of a tongue. Pulling his bottom lip with my teeth I glance at him his strong muscular hand grip tight to my thigh.

“ Looks like someone wearing my clothes again” He said rubbing little patterns on my thigh with his index finger.

“ Want me to take it off and give it back. Baby” I asked playfully. With one last glance and shook his head no and tilt his head to look at me.

“ You know it drives me crazy seeing you wear my stuff. Let’s not forget the football jersey incident” he reminded me. It was 1st time I allow him to fell my thigh and butt. Thought alone brought a heat running down my body. Something Janet told me was normal. Playing with his hair I look down at what he was wearing. Black jeans with a red t-shirt an leather jacket.

“ So this the big date. Just sitting in your car. I could have told my parents we were staying for lunch then” I said playing with the collar of his jacket.

He ponders the question for a bit before he started to laugh. Picking me up he helps me over to the passenger seat. Left his right hand on my thigh and drove off with his left hand. After a few minutes, I wrap my hand with his and lean back and look at him as he drives. Few times he will peak over even throwing me a silly face which I then gave a few my own. Got to a light I peak out to the street. Crazy for a Saturday the usual busy with folks at the town square or at the farmer market that would be along Main Street it was pretty much close to deserted. Looking back as we drove off I sat back and ponder about it.

“ Did Bucks say anything about not having his produce today?” I asked.

“ Huh yeah sweetie it was postponed. Something happened to some of his vegetables. Think some kids piss on them. There also that beauty pageant in San Pedro. Took a bus over to watch” He said to bring my hand to kiss.

“ Yea yea I forgot. You know with Ethan gone. I feel like I’m working all alone forgetting the days. Where we going “ I asked.

“ Don’t worry we almost there. Would you put that scarf around your eyes it a surprise? Isaac” he said.

I took the red plaid scarf and wrap it around my eyes. The realization was starting to dawn on me besides our movie dates or him staying with me at night. This was our first date since he came back. Worried wasn’t even the word for it my whole body became snuffled with nerves. My mouth was dry and my neck felt warm.

“ Hey hey you okay,” he asked with a serious tone. I nod yes and hold on to his bicep tight.

“ Sorry just excited. Is all” I whisper holding on.

I didn’t know where I was but I felt the ground being a bit rough against my converse. One hand-grip tight to his other feeling my way. I could feel the moisture from the air and leaves. Before u even lifted the scarf I knew we were at our special hideout in Lover Lane.

Close behind me, he squeezed my shoulders gently as he whispered words of sweet nothing. I felt like Alice walking through wonderland. What if I look clearly through the darkness between the glitter and tiny rainbows I could find mad hatter drinking morning tea or the queen of hearts out by her garden w brush covered in red paint. Endless wonders who will I be would I be Alice full of innocence and wonder, the white rabbit who always running with of anxiety, Chester cat who full of the finger brings back cross and a smile with a bit of darkness inching to come back or maybe just a poor bystander. Most say I could pick out those three or add one in but today I didn’t know.

The blindness of the light brought me back from that rabbit hole of thoughts. Blinking a few times to adjust I saw a blur of trees and blue sky. It was beautiful right in the middle among all the flowers and grass was a big red planet blanket with a wicker basket in the center.

“ Surprise My Ama. Like it” KP said with a huge grind with his hands stretch out as far as possible. I didn’t know tears were coming down till KP came over to kiss them away. I hold his hand tight and kiss his hand before kissing each finger and look deep into his deep space eyes.

“ Did I do something why are you crying?” KP said a bit worried. I felt my lips playing peek a boo with teeth. I wish I knew why I was crying. I don’t even know anymore.

Instead of the truth I pull KP by hand and pull him onto the blanket before I let go and lay across. I curl my finger and motion for him to come over to sit by me. He lay his head on my lap. Right by edge of my skirt and he help right with his head facing my lower stomach. Playing with his hair between my fingers I came close and kiss his forehead gently. He holds me close and mumbles something. Maybe today I’m Alice before she found that hole.

The sun felt so good again my smooth rich terra- cotta skin. My hair was slip to the side taking in the sun raises. I could here KP reading from his old worn-out copy of The Last Man in the background still laying on my lap. He always had a fascination with Pre-American Gothic and an unseen classic from popular authors. Could read anything that was calming may you forget the world around you and drunk of his voice capturing his presence. Once he read House of Leaves to me when we were both in head and sound like a lullaby.

What is there in our nature that is forever urging us on towards pain KP read.

I bent down in front of the book to block any of the words and cup his cheeks in my hands and kiss him. Putting the book beside him he returns the kiss and pulls in deeper and turns me over to he was on top. My head rests on my honey scent shampoo hair. I could smell the woody scent of his Guilty Pour Homme Spray by Gucci he always put on. He moves his hand to crest cheek eyes match my woods brown eye with his. I could feel something hard pressuring against my thigh. With a sigh, I look at him and then down. Once again. As if he could read my thoughts he slowly pulls away.

“ Should probably not continue this before we are both in trouble huh baby?” KP said in his deep chocolate voice. I slowly nod and place my hands against his side and rub it against the pants being the only thing stopping me to go further. I need an escape something to stop my thoughts stop me from jumping face-first onto the hole. I felt moving his hips with movement with my palm. Kiss trace down my neck gently I curve into his touch wanting more. God, he knew how to make this girl feel good. His hands while rough with warn and tares always was gentle. Without thought I let out a sigh as we continue till out nowhere I thought I heard some birds. A lot of birds. Opening my eyes corner of my sight I see a family of birds flying in a flock west of me. I bent my head back as I follow the birds until they disappear. My mind drifts off to where they were going what would they do once they are there.

“ Ama I gotta tell you something alright something very important and I need you to listen can you do that” KP asked as he kisses my neck some more. I nod and mouth yes.

“ You know when I left I thought I was strong I thought I was brave. I wanted to protect you so badly from all evil all darkness I went onto war. But honestly, it’s not what I thought baby. The world we live in full of chaos more I tried to fix it stay in line I found my self missing you thinking what if I stay with you” KP said and continue to kiss me between my chest. Feeling brought old feelings I haven’t felt in more a year ago.

“ This world needs order. And I can’t do it all alone. Many nights I was barley holding thinking of ending my life but I got your letters and face times. If it wasn’t for you I will be lost in this huge empty world. I have been thinking and well what if after you graduate we leave pack all your shit and leave. Nothing d holding us back” KP said. I blink and look at him he stops kissing me and look back up at me with huge night sky eyes. I could hear some strange noises from behind me. KP was still speaking and all I could do was stare at him with drunk haze eyes.

“ Would you run off with me?” KP asks turning to go get up to look at me. No words can describe the look in his eyes passion fear worry lust doubt. Galaxy with million and one thoughts hiding in plain sight. Could I leave and blindly follow him into the unknown future. FUCK YEAH, I WOULD that promised I gave him so long ago.

Before I could say anything everything happens in a flash. The gravity pull was distracted in a minor of seconds. I felt him pushed my down covering me with his chest I look and I could feel something wet. Stumbling back on the blanket my breath gets shorter and I start to feel dizzy my fingertips were numb I felt like the more I tried to breathe more I fell deeper into the darkness. Then were the two muscle arms scooping me up from behind?

“ ISAAC ISSAC AMA AMA BABY BABY LOOK AT ME. Come one before you go into shock “ KP shout out. I look away from the body and at him. His thick finger covers my flushed cheeks. I slowly start to nod and look back at the body.

“ Is he.... is he dead we gotta do -“ I stop as I could see man chest rising a bit he was saying something. I let go and slowly follow the mumble I was a foot away before I felt a hand on my shoulder stopping me. I couldn’t freak out not like before a deep breath in I slowly turn back around.

“ Not safe. Take my phone get services and called for help” KP said in his deep savior voice he does when he serious. I glance back at the body. It gosh out blood to point you couldn’t tell where the actual puncture wound was. Where was it that was gonna be on his death certificate. From where I was it looks like his had puss and some strange black markers. He spoke to me but I did not answer him instead I remain quite till I heard the 911 operator.

“ He Hello. Yes huh, this is huh Amaryllis Isaac Smith I’m with my boyfriend Kindred Phillip” I could hear KP be reaping the word deputy. I nod and look at him he was hovering over the body almost studying it. “ Deputy Sargent Phillip. We are huh mm KP where are we” I stop and scream again where are we.

“ Lover Lane South East entranced a quarter-mile away from the lake. TELL ME THE PEEK A BOO SPOT they will know” He shoot out.

I repeated words word by word what he said. I heard the words by I couldn’t answer.

“Yes, there a man baby hurt. PLEASE HURRY” I said. Placing my hand to the phone I look at KP. “ Is he breathing KP “ I shout out. I couldn’t see one of his hands he was knee down to the body his back facing me. I waited but he didn’t answer just slowly got up and brush his hands on his thighs and grab the phone.

“ He dead. We wait to cops come. Maybe an ambulance my girl she a bit shook up. That’s okay Baby ... Baby” KP asked looking down at me. I couldn’t breathe anymore my hands wrap around his broad shoulder for my dear life my right cheek pushed onto his chest till I could hear his heart. Far away by the now dead body, I saw flames surrounding it. Tears gently fell more flames the closer I pulled into him till my vision was blur form fabric of his shirt. With one last breathe I was free-falling down that hole.

[ethandigby]

『 LANDON LIBOIRON ❙ GENDERQUEER 』 ⟿ looks like ETHAN DIGBY is here for THEIR SECOND year as a VISUAL ART GRAD student. HE is 27 years old & known to be DEDICATED, HONEST, STUBBORN & PESSIMISTIC. They’re living in NOLAND, so if you’re there, watch out for them. ⬳ drew. twenty-two. est. he/him. ethan’s pinterest

trivia:

he really likes white cholate & hot chocolate, often eating handfuls of white chocolate baking discs regardless of the time of day. 

visual art major --- tends to stray towards sculptures and installation pieces, though he does have a love for bob ross style landscape pieces. draws a lot of inspiration from older art, and many of his pieces are designed to look worn-out and as though they are missing pieces. 

perpetually exhausted --- for all his love of schedules, he has never managed to consistently get enough sleep and though he loves tea, that never seems to have enough of an impact to truly wake him up ---- a.k.a he is a yawn prone little fuck

doesn’t quite believe the local legends, though he doesn’t dismiss them outright either. the statue by wishing tree has, however, made it into several of his works ---- statues seem to have her facial features without him ever meaning to and he will swear to anyone that asks that in sophomore year of his bachelor’s degree he woke up one morning to her face staring at him from amongst the trees on a painting he had been working on. he will hesitantly add that it’s possible that he had just been thinking of her while half asleep, though ethan doesn’t really believe that

currently working as a TA for some of the freshman art classes, as well as overseeing the use of the different art studios from time to time. 

doesn’t believe in labels --- and that’s corny as hell, but he just wants to be able to be whoever he is in the moment and has had some harsher reactions when he uses umbrella terms, so he just refuses to label himself. relationship-wise it’s a whole different issue, he floats from one major relationship to another and often times will cycle back to one that’s already gone sour. 

has recently started going to a therapist to talk about some of the issues he has processing emotions and his fear of change ---- it’s been helping but he’s still very much on the verge of flight mode and will run away from situations that demand any real sort of emotional input from him on occasion. 

personality:

he is cynical, despite a desire to believe the best in people and the world - he has seen too much of the darker side of the world to ever truly believe it ---- this is reflected not only in his interactions with people ( he is open about expressing doubt and disbelief, he won’t believe a word you say, and he overanalyzes promises / invitations / declarations of love ) but also in his art and aesthetic which veers towards the dark and damned, a lot of his work is themed around broken things

stubborn as a mule ---- once he gets an idea in his mind, it can be hard to change his mind with logical arguments though an emotional appeal will have a better chance ---- he’s very set in his ways and struggles with questioning why things are the way they are, insisting that somethings should just be. loathes change and isn’t afraid to express this dislike --- tends to eat the same foods, wear the same clothes, go to the same places ---- despite a childhood dislike of routine, he finds it comforting nowadays, it feels safe.

loyal as all hell, you can hurt him a million times and he will still struggle to walk away and a genuine apology will win him back in an instant. he struggles to cut ties, even with those that he knows aren’t the best for him and has only successfully done so when it is possible for him to do so in a swift and permanent way. in most cases, he will eventually find his way back to those that he knows. 

friendly but not overly so --- he has no issue approaching people if he needs something, but he’s not generally one to approach you just to “chat” b/c he’s not big on small talk in general and honestly? he’d never say it but if he doesn’t know you, he doesn’t really give a damn how your day went or how you feel about the weather or current events. if he drinks, he becomes a little more sociable in that matter, but that often drifts into “ethan is going to info-dump about whatever has his interest in the moment and the only way to stop him is to like physically place something in / on his mouth” territory which is a whole different level of awkward. 

backstory:

growing up in a household where routine took priority, ethan spent a long time feel stifled by his parent’s demands that everything turned out perfectly ---- the neverending need to do things at just the right time, in just the right way. it was like fitting into a sweater that was just a tad too small, wrong in a way that is hard to explain

it’s in high school that he meets a true kindred spirit in the form of his art teacher ---- he helps ethan to realize his need for freedom and self-expression, and embraces his abilities in a way that he had always been afraid to. it’s a change that his parents are disapproving of, trying to reroute their son’s future to one of the paths that they would have approved of. but for once, he allows himself to rebel.

and after graduation, he leaves. running to new york, where he throws himself into the art scene head first without any real plans. for two years, he works multiple jobs as he cycles through sketchy roommates in his shitty apartment and equally shitty life partners, trying to discover things about himself that he hadn’t known before.

he’s still figuring some of that out, unsure of how to label his gender or his sexuality --- wishing more than anything that he could just be, a desire that he has long held onto since childhood that’s coming back to haunt them at last. 

that’s not the only thing that’s caught up with them as of late, the digby’s finally managing to track him down in new york and showing up at his apartment two years after he initially ran off. they came with open minds and a burning desire to see their son do something other than work minimum wage jobs and live in run-down apartments. they were quiet and subdued in a way that they never had been.

it took six months for them to convince him to enroll in college, and he eventually chose to attend radcliffe with an undeclared major. it was far enough from his hometown that his parents couldn’t reasonably drive up too often, but close enough that he could go home if he had wanted. a three-hour drive in the best traffic.

the distance proved to be the right amount --- though his parents certainly seemed to pop up over the first three months with containers of food and worries that their child would have run off, they eventually learned to trust him. and slowly, the wounds healed ---- ethan wouldn’t say that they’re close but they’ve learned to respect each other’s boundaries.

and he’s never seen them more proud than at graduation, except maybe when he told them that he was going to apply to grad school. it wasn’t the path that they had planned for ethan, but they had learned to be enthusiastic about his success, about his dreams and about his art.

doing his master’s degree - it’s been weird. being here is weird for him in general, he still misses new york even though it was a whole different kind of existence ---- he misses the stability of going to work everyday and being completely independent. here, he has to rely on his professors and classmates, he has people that expect him to check in with them and there’s more socialization --- mostly because he’s been trying to do better with that. 

connections:

good / bad influence: okay so traditionally, i think these would be separate connections but i think in this case, it’s more convoluted than that. for all of ethan running away from the environment his parents made, he’s very much stuck to those rules and expectations --- i would love for someone to start to break him out of that --- encourage him to party and drink and live life, and it doesn’t all have to be bad, it can be good too. you know, them bringing him to parties and him learning actually valuable lessons from it --- idk open to talking about their potential influence on each other, i think it could be fun

frenemies ( onesided or not ): i think a lot of ethan’s trust issues are a projection mechanism because he knows that in some ways that he can’t be trusted --- so i wld love for someone who they act like best friends when they’re together and then ethan just ... talks smack about them and doesn’t keep their secrets ( and maybe they do the same?? ) 

exes ( of all types / genders / whatever ): this one, my dear ethan, has gotten around a bit --- maybe they hooked up and now it’s awkward ---- maybe they dated for a while and keep circling back to each other despite knowing that they’re bad for each other ( a la unmiss you by clara mae ) ---- maybe they dated for a while and now they never talk so when they do see each other it’s just ... awkward as hell ---- open to literally anything with this one guys

art buddies: just two pals, palling around --- only prerequisite is that your character has some sort of interest in an art ( writing, theatre, music, film, etc etc ) --- and hey maybe they don’t get along but they put up a united front against the STEM majors who mock their choices in major? 

other: open to discussing dormates, coworkers, current love interests and literally anything else that you can think of --- does your character need someone over 21 to buy them alcohol? call ethan. for real tho, hit me up and let’s come up with some stuff!

[paolopallegient]

good morning, today is a better day.

i feel like all my work in the morning for the past 2 days have really helped achieved this feeing of me tal safety. To explain

3 days ago i learned that Gabbi had cut me off. It was hard to find out, i went ahead and slept it off, it meant nothing to me at night. I woke up and the information sunk into my heart. I was at my worst that morning, but i forced nyself to do good to myself. I remember not wanting to move, but i put my clothes in the laundry, showered, meditated, had a good bfast too with black bean noodle and some egg. It was good. Then i had work later with Darren and Dhan. It sucks because i love working with Darren and Dhan but i wasn't in no mood to communicate or talk to anybody. It makes me sad. I went home and facetimed Nicole and she had told me the true meanings as to why Gabbi had cut me off, which included why kiana had cut me off as well.

i went home and showered, got into bed and listened to music the whole time. I didn't want to talk to my parents, i didn't want to do anything bro. I waited for my parents to sleep just so i can eat by myself. I remember crying to Nicole about this moment because i felt like there was no hope for me. I remember late at night i hopelessly texted Kev so that we can talk it out. I needed to talk it out with somebody. Somebody who'd have my back. The insecurity within me had a feeling he wouldn't like what he heard or even lose another friend with him. It turned out well though.

The next day, I did the same stuff. I woke up, showered, did my laundry, made bfast, and even picked up an earlier shift. I usually work 4-9, but on this day i worked 1-9 so i was there longer. It turned out to be good for me. As i mentioned, i had to meet up with kev to talk about it. It was really good for my mental. I feel like i'm really learning how to grow and surround myself with good things nowadays. I guess i've experienced so much people leaving my life and the presence of their absence affecting me had taught me something 😂🤝😂. It's crazy, anyways, Yeah he was able to give me the guidance i needed. He told me that what i did isn't as severe as to what people are doing concurrently. Men are doing much worse than what i've done. He also said something very nice to me near the end, where i was dropping him off at his place. I was playing a logic song, a song off his new album No Pressure, but the song was in the background really so i wasn't paying attention. Kev placed my attention to the song and he said to me that he doesn't want me to be in the fear of being "cancelled" or crossing paths with somebody that doesn't like me because "that's not freedom."

damn.

That's not freedom. The song was "Amen", one of his favorite song off No Pressure. What he said there was something i carried through the whole day. I went to work after i dropped him off and i was thinking about that endlessly. I went to work and Kevin & Will were working. I realized that i like working with Kevin because he actually likes to talk and conversate. He's not as bad as people talk about him. It's merely the opposite, he surprises me. At the beginning he was hard on me when making drinks because, i was learning yenno? But now, when i do something "lazy" i'm surprised that he does the same. He made 3 drinks in a a blender lol. I've gotten condemned for doing such so i don't do it anymore. Anyways, talking and working the first half of the shift was nice. I was happy to talk to him. Kathy and Solo came in later. Solo is always dope, it's hard to talk to him doe because he's quiet as fuck and i like my music loud lol. Then Kathy was where it was at tho. I'll just say what she told me rather than how the conversations went. She told me she used to study film. She wanted to be in Film Production(i think) and went into Film Criticism on accident bc she wasn't looking close enough as to what she was studying or what classes were part of the curriculum. She told me as well that she's married, and that her and her husband used to own a restaurant, an american chinese place like Panda Express. 3 years ago she used to work at a boba shop, a local one in Orange County. I noticed that she refrains from telling me the names of the places she works, maybe those were years she didn't want to remember. It's understandable. 2018 and 2019 are years I do my best not to remember. Typing those years out actually made me reminisce and wow yeah i understand her, suggesting that her bringing up the names were the case as to why she wouldn't wanna talk about them.

Anyways, later in the shift around 6-7 it got busy and i started getting real mentally negative. It was insane to me, i started just drifting off while making drinks and i remember secretly slamming my hand down on bar. It just sounded like normal noise considering things are slammed all the time anyways, so nobody noticed anyways. Later, something crazy happened. I saw a girl come up and she had very familiar eyes. This is where my ability to recognize people astonishes me because I saw this girl's eyes and i recognized her as Noah Abel Cruz's girlfriend. Then i look whose next to him and it was Noah lmao. I had the quickest intuition to discount them, then i pulled out... i didn't tell Kathy to discount them... I wish i did. It was like my authentic self remember 2014, then my older self remember 2017-2018 😂 lmao stupid. I wish i coulda saved them some money in the name of growth. Although, what i did had shown that I was affected by his and my decisions from the past. I didn't appreciate what he's done or said to me in the past. Although, i still made their drinks... i think...? I remember yes, i did make their drinks. This moment i really am not proud of lmao so, it was pretty ass haha. I made their drinks and i remember being done for awhile, and Solo was busy AND KATHY WAS BUSY SO I MIGHT'VE HAD TO BRING THEIR DRINKSS TO THEM. But naw, I was able to hear Kathy's next order i think so i just remember beginning it and then solo came and brought the drinks. What happens later with the Noah story is crazy. from 7:10-7:50 i was going relatively crazy. I was thinking and repeating that moment forever. "shoulda discounted them" "shoulda shown him that i've grown" "should brought their drinks to them" idk. Earlier in the shift i texted Melissa if she could roll my weed because, yesterday with Dhan and Darren, Dhan gave me weed...? LOL Like, i have no form of smoking it but yeah. He just gave it to me, and Melissa agreed to roll my weed. Then i get a snap from Christian that they're both hanging out at the time i text her. I told him that, if they want free boba, come bc we close at 8, and they got excited. They came around 7:50 and were so playful?

They were happy to see me... It was nice to felt needed, or at least produce excitement for somebody. It was nice. I remember somewhat scrambling because solo was making drinks and I wanted to make their drinks and yeah. I made their drinks, said goodbye, etc. Then we closed, nothing much this night, just showered and laud in bed, ate later and watched Japan Sinks (which i don't like lmao, i won't be finishing this series lol). Anyways, yeah. I forgot to mention, the Noah thing. So we closed, i got into my car and called Kevin bc he called me while we were closing. He told me that Noah called him, and told him exactly what i was telling him. Like, "man i felt weird" stuff like that. He was saying that we'll probably reconnect at a listening party in the future at Kevin's. I think i have to organize my feelings with Noah first. Thinking about it now, i'd still feel weird. We'll work on it. I'll work on it. Anyways, yeah. crazy.

Christian, Melissa, Noah, Coworker Kevin, Vrother Kevin, Dhan, Darren, Nicole, all these people enjoy my presence. Even my parents enjoy my presence too. i have to remember this.

today, i will get up, use the restroom, i want to brush my teeth bc i didnt brush last night. I'll come back, make my bed, meditate, then shower, then fold my laundry, Kevin is coming around 12:30 so i'm assuming that we'll probabky eat when he comes. We'll be watching Do The Right Thing and Once Upon A Time In The West, an oldie double feature. It'll be good. Later in the day, i'm going to melissa's so she can roll my weed. I appreciate her. I appreciate kev. Today will be good and i'll further beaing good to myself. Tired of being tired of being tired.

Kiana, Gabbi, Justin, Preet, Bianca, etc. I want you all to know that i'm choosing to grow. I feel like i have potential to achieve greatness in this life. I want to do better for my seed so that my sons or daughters know consent and know how to "read the room" and not make people uncomfortable. I want to teach them and educate them. My nephews and nieces as well. For the future, if i become a teacher, i do want to teach my students as well. I want to become a person of change. I will change, i'll show you all. You can decide to be present for that, if not then...

I wish the best for all of you. I remember a life where i cared for all of you. Thank you for being apart of my journey. I have 0 defenses in my case if i get cancelled, i admit to what i've done. Although, i'm not going to allow that to restrict me from growing and being a better person. If you ask me, why wouldn't cancel culture WANT me to grow and be better? Idk. If i lose more friends to this, I won't be surprised but, yenno what i'll do?

Wake up in the morning, shower, meditate, do my laundry, and eat breakfast. I'm done being a shit-person to others, but it begins with myself. I have to love myself.

Today is day 3 not getting cancelled. I have a dentist appointment sunday. Next week is Julius's bday. Gabbi's too but i won't be celebrating it lol. Then Passdown retreat, then the week after school starts. Then blam. Life keeps going. I will grow.

Thank you Paolo for taking the time to just type this whole thing out... this was also a step towards loving myself. Alright, i have to shit. See yall in my next post. Love you all. Swag.

[angrylizardjacket]

don’t @ me {Joe Mazzello}

Anon asked: Hi there! You write the best imagines and your my favorite queen blog 💛 if you're not too busy I'd like to request something? Idk something with Joe and like your dating and the whole cardboard ben thing is playing out and the reader is playing along in the comments and stuff idk I just really need some dorky Joe fluff please and thank you for your time! 😊

Anon asked: please write a joe mazzello imagine one day soon !!

A/N: 1781 words. Anon, today is that day. Joe is v cute and I love him but also this video gives me mad anxiety for reason’s I’m not 100% sure about, but nyways i watched it like 12 times. I know very little about press tours and who goes on them, I also know very little about Joe, but I tried! Suspend your disbelief.

“Why do you have a cuttout of Ben?” It’s breakfast, and far too early to be met with the frozen stare of a cardboard version of Ben Hardy staring at you across the kitchen table. He’s there anyways, propped up in an unoccupied seat, silently judging you as you drink your tea.

“Because he can’t make it on the press tour.” Joe tells you, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, moving about the kitchen, fixing himself breakfast.

“He’s watching me.” The cardboard Ben’s stare is unbroken and unnerving. You stand abruptly, moving it from it’s place at the table, so it was looking at the wall, and you hear Joe laugh behind you. “He’s creepy,” you insist, but he doesn’t disagree with you.

“Ben’ll be heartbroken.” Joe’s taken your seat, and so you sit in the one you’d just freed up, pulling your drink across the table, taking a long sip before giving Joe a long suffering smile.

“Honey, I don’t think real-Ben is going to care about what I think of his cardboard double.” You told him, and Joe raised his eyebrows in mock surprise.

“Oh, yeah no, he won’t care, he might be offended you called him creepy,” he talked over your objections with a smile, “but you’ve hurt poor Ben Cardy’s feelings, babe.” Gesturing to the cardboard behind you, trying not to grin if the edges of his lips twitching gave anything away.

“Ben Cardy?” You repeated, disbelieving. He just raised his eyebrows at the thing behind you. You turned around, suspicious, and still a little on edge from the new arrival. It had not moved. Thank God. Joe just laughs.

Cardboard Ben becomes a hit on social media, a fact that was unsurprising to you; something that obviously memetic with all the boys’ support behind it was bound to take off. Now that you were used to it (him?) you thought it was pretty damn funny.

“Oh, what about one of us at the piano.” Rami’s eyes had lit up at the sight of the Bohemian Rhapsody piano, and Joe, who had been handed the crown from the the publicist to take some promotional shots of the cast at this screening, propped up Cardboard Ben behind the piano.

Rolling your eyes at the shenanigans, you obligingly wait for Joe  to put the crown on and situate himself on Rami’s lap before taking the photo. Passing the phone back, you take the crown from him, wearing it while you collected Cardboard Ben.

“You look good like that.” You’re trying to fold the cutout so you could carry it under your arm when you hear Joe’s voice. Looking up, he’s smiling at you, phone in his hands like he’s halfway through writing something on it. At your confused look, his smile widens just a little more and he looks to the crown sitting on your head. It had been heavy before, on your head out of ease rather than comfort, but under his admiring gaze it feels as light as air.

“Strap in Ben, mate.” The video, hand-held and shot on Gwilym’s phone, shows Joe leaning across the back set of a nice-looking car, trying to buckle in Cadrboard Ben, who was had a checkered scarf wrapped around his neck.

“Don’t make it too tight!” Your voice can be heard from off camera, clearly trying not to laugh, and in the brief moment Joe looks to you, he’s grinning brightly, assuring you he wouldn’t, before turning back and finally clipping in the belt buckle.

You sit beside Joe in the back seat once the video’s been posted, with him in the middle, Cardboard Ben still strapped in on his other side. All of you in the car, that is all of you who weren’t driving or cardboard, were on Instagram, replying to the comments, having a laugh as you rewatched the video a few times.

@.username1: i wish someone would love me like they love that cut out

@.username2: even @.YourInstagramHandle worries about him 😍😍

@.YourInstagramHandle: @.username2 i’m just worried about what happens if he’s not buckled in 😬😬

@.benhardy1: @.YourInstagramHandle im glad you and @.joe_mazzello are keeping me safe

@.joe_mazzello: @.benhardy1 always, buddy!

@.YourInstagramHandle 😬😬

Gwylim, from the front seat, can hear you laughing, and when he turns back, you’re leaning against Joe and the two of your are looking at your phones, wearing identical mischievous grins. When he posts a photo of the two of you beside a still buckled in cut out, to said cut-out’s instagram story, he captions it ‘I feel like I’m 3rd wheeling here.... @.YourInstagramHandle @.joe_mazzello’. 

Everyone loves the joke, and since no-one’s really sure where the Real Ben is, you can all keep getting away with it. With everyone playing along, it becomes a quickly growing phenomena, which comes to an interesting pinnacle on Thursday, November 15th.

“So I’ve had an idea.” Joe looked at you where you were scrolling through Instagram on your phone with one hand, sipping a drink in the other. You hadn’t kept Cardboard Ben in your hotel room since the start of the tour, which you were thankful for, but it seemed to be your turn. It still unnerved you, but it was currently facing the wall, and not staring unblinkingly at you, which you were thankful for.

Humming in both question, and recognition of the statement, you look to see him suppressing a smile. He starts explaining his idea for a video, of waking up next to the cardboard cut out, and you know that your expression is one of dawning horror, though that only seems to inspire him further.

“That sounds ridiculous.” You admit once he’s finished, and he actually laughs.

“I know, but it’s- it’s funny, come on.” And his earnest enjoyment from the concept has you cracking, a smile spreading over your face, unable to help the laughter that escaped you.

“That you fucked Cardboard Ben?” You asked, putting your tea down and raising your eyebrows at him.

“Yes!” He insisted, and despite your eye roll, you were grinning, already moving to collect the cut out.

“Where do you want him?” You asked, and Joe’s smile brightened, before he wiggled his eyebrows. “This is already weird enough; just tell me where you want him.” You moved to the bed, pulling back the covers to put the cardboard figure in the bed.

“Perfect, perfect!” Joe seemed ecstatic as you pulled the covers back up, leaving Cardboard Ben in bed.

“Do you want me to tuck you in, too?” You asked, raising a single eyebrow, voice faux sweet as you picked up your tea and stepped away from the bed. Giving you a sunny smile, he ignored the sarcasm and informed you that he’d probably be alright, pulling out his phone.

Leaning against the wall where you had just taken Cardboard Ben from, you watch in amusement as he begins to film, pretending to wake up, before turning both himself and the camera so that he caught sight of the cardboard. Instead, he caught sight of your fond but amused expression, and he was lost for a moment.

“Don’t look at me like that.” He admonished, though he was smiling a little softer than before. 

“Like what?” You asked, half laughing, and Joe just shook his head, a little disbelieving, before turning back over and starting the video again. When he turns back, you’ve got your own phone out, and are taking a photo of the situation, to which he laughs.

‘@.benhardy1 aka Mr Steal Yo Man’ you captioned the photo on your instagram story. With you focused on your own phone, Joe managed to film most of his video before you heard him talk about how Cardboard Ben was already dressed, and you lost it, barking out a laugh and interrupting his filming.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry!” You apologised profusely through giggles, though Joe too broke into a grin, stopping the recording. “I’ll go into the next room.” Stepping through to the main room, you waited by the doorframe as you listened to your boyfriend pretend to wake up next to a cardboard cut out of one of his co-stars. As soon as he muttered about knowing that he’d call, there’s a long paused, and then he snorts out a laugh, and you’re pretty sure it’s safe to go back in.

He’s grinning, sitting against the headboard and you can hear his rough, sleepy voice coming through the speakers of his phone. Cardboard Ben is still where you left him, looking up at the roof.

“Is it good?” You asked, and he hummed thoughtfully, still amused at his own antics.

“It’s not terrible,” he admitted, “I think it’s funny.” And he passed the phone over to let you watch it, and you slid yourself into the bed beside Cardboard Ben. It was funny, you’d give him that, and you passed the phone back to let him finish adding tags and posting the video. As the video went live, a thought occurred to you, something that amused you to no end.

“Hey, come here, I wanna get a photo of the three of us.” You grinned, sliding down under the covers until they came up to your shoulders, then holding up your phone so you could catch yourself, Joe, and the cut out in the photo.

The shot was staged so that Joe and the cut out looked into the camera, Joe looking a little concerned, while you looked off to the side, expression clearly uncomfortable. You added the photo to your instagram story with a simple ‘😮’ as the caption, tagging both Joe and Ben in it.

“It still creeps me out.” You admitted, pulling the cardboard cut out from the bed and putting it face-down on the floor, moving to rest against Joe, still sitting in bed. He wrapped an arm around you.

“Yeah, but you’re a good sport about it.” He pressed a kiss to the edge of your forehead, scrolling through the comments that were flooding in already on his video.

“Of course, I love you, Joe, I’ll always play along.” You tucked yourself up closer to him, going through your own feed with mild interest. He gives you a soft squeeze, and when you look at him, he’s smiling fondly down at you, a look so full of love and adoration that it makes your heart melt a little. “It’s- it’s just a cut out, I mean.” You flush under his gaze, ducking your head to avoid the softness of his smile and how it made a warmth bloom in your chest.

“No, I know.” He laughed gently, going back to his phone. “I just love you too.”