#heartstopper and Maddie zahm really made me feel this

[sapphiccooper]

It’s the fact that Heartstopper Season 2 has single handedly made an entire generation of queer people unlock their trauma and regret.

[time-is-standing]

top 10 songs of june

sorry for the delay, I've cut off a piece of my thumb while cooking. typing with one hand really sucks. --- this was the main reason, I was gonna post it yesterday but Techno's death shook me to the core and I just couldn't finish this in time.

1. Keep Me - Acoustic by Imminence

I still have my sleepless nights when the only thing soothing me is this song. it's the one that inspired the last chapter of my mcyt fanfic - until I'm not ready to continue with the dnf pov.

2. Love & Grace by Imminence

this one is special to my heart. I don't think I've ever had a connection this strong before with a song. for me it's like a complaint or screaming into someone's face and I really do need that sometimes. & also:

"staring down the barrel of a gun

even when we die the battle isn’t won"

3. listen when i'm gone by Jack Powell

oh my, this song. I've had so much to get through this month. it all started with my sessions. we eventually had the session about sa and it was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I've been crying for days about it. I even opened up to my mother about it because I was crying so much I couldn't hide it anymore. soon after this, I read they both die at the end & I cried for two days straight. after all of this, last morning technoblade's death was announced and I'm... I'm just done.

I don't know what to expect, how should I survive, how will I move on from all of this?

4. Suicide by Dog, Smoking Stogies

this one is a heavy song as well. I've been feeling more safe listening to sad songs and this one... this means a bit more than anything else lately.

"someone will love you

but noone will love me"

5. Queerball by McCafferty

I don't know how else to explain. this song just lives here by now. that's it.

6. life waster by CORPSE

this song is a masterpiece. corpse is a really talented guy and I seem to be loving every one of his songs. but this one is quite special because of the lyrics. it really is worth a listen (or a million if you ask me lol).

7. You Might Not Like Her by Maddie Zahm

my journey about my sexuality/identity is a never ending thing. it's just like I'm changing daily & it's really hard to try and figure out who I might be every fucking day.

but the song is so great!! relatable lyrics for the first time ever, it made me cry so much.

8. Panic Room by Au/Ra

"welcome to the panic room"

reminds me of heartstopper & the next story of mine I'm currently trying to figure out. I don't know if I'll ever be able to create something fully unique, but I hope I can write something good at least.

9. Boyfriend by Dove Cameron

I don't want to talk about it...

but I love listening to this because it matches my energy so well.. but anytime I'm around a pretty girl, I'm becoming that shy & quiet little girl who I was always supposed to be. it's annoying.

10. PPL ALWAYS MAKE SHT FKN WORSE by sadeyes, Days to Waste

the first real mental breakdown of the month happened to me while listening to this gem. it's from my favs, not a new song but I still love it to pieces. such a cool song, it helped me through the roughest time/feelings.