#heeere we go yo | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

specialmindz · 4 years

Photo

“PAPYRUS! PAPYRUS WHERE ARE YOU?”

BUBBH!

“PAPYRUS!”

Sans poked the baby bones currently playing the bathtub. “hey uh, bro? i think dad wants you…”

“PAH-PYRUS!”

SPLASH SPLASH!

“WHAT YOU WANT STINK DADDY? I’S MAKING MOOSIC OVER HERE!”

The infant continued splashing in the tub, the bubbles floating gently through the air with each slap the water received. “UNDER DA’ SEA! UNDER DA’ SEEEA! DOWN HERE IT WETTER, DOWN HERE IT BETTER, TAKE IT FROM BAY-A-BEEEEE!”

CAP CAP CAP!

CA-THINK, WHAM!

“ugh! dad, you don’t have to slam open the door like that-”

“WHERE’S MY KEYBOARD, YOU LITTLE SHIT?”

SPLASH SPLASH!

“I don’t know what you’s talkin’ bout’. What is dis ‘key-board’ you speak of? Is a board game?”

“YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS! YOU USE IT WHEN YOU’RE USING MY COMPUTER! TELL ME WHERE IT IS THIS INSTANT!”

SPLASH!

Papyrus stopped. “Why you need it so bad? You’s a scientist, not a moosician! I’S the only one with musical talent round’ here! Listen to mah jams!”

SPLASH SPLASH!

“UNDER DA’ SEA-”

“THAT’S THE WRONG KIND OF KEYBOARD!”

“uh oh,” said Sans, studying the water. The surface of it was almost completely obscured by bubbles, but he had a good idea of what lay beneath. Papyrus normally didn’t even like bubbles, as they got in his eye sockets and made it hard to see where he was swimming, but today he actually asked for extra suds in order to create “special effects” for a “concert” he was performing.

It looked like Gaster had the same idea too, as a trademarked sigh of unmistakable misery escaped him.

Heh heh, it’s like watching a balloon slowly lose its will to live…

SPLASH SPLASH, SPLASH SPLASH!

“It’s under the water isn’t it?”

“Nyeh?”

“My keyboard. It’s underwater.”

Papyrus looked down at the water and then back up at his father. “I do bad Daddy?”

“Yes Papyrus, you’ve made a mistake...”

“I fuk up yo’ life?”

“Yes Papyrus, you’ve ‘fucked up my life,’ now give me my keyboard so I can repair it.”

“Mmm…no. No, I’s gonna fix it. I already has an idea, in fact! I can still make dis work.” Papyrus licked the water. “Yep. Daz the problem. That’s the problem right there. I got the suds, but the water not be salty enough. SNAS!”

“AHH! wh-what? what do ya’ want pap?” asked Sans, putting a hand against his skull.

“Well FIRST, I’d like you to pay attention,” said the baby. “We gots a situation over here and you’s dreaming bout’ eating Sabastian!” The infant pointed to a dead crab floating in the bath near his feet. It had CLEARLY been eaten a long time ago by someone else, probably a human seeing as Papyrus got all his stuff from the Dump, but apparently the shell was all he needed to play pretend.

“I needs you to search the Powder Place and finds the salt,” said Papyrus, now pointing at the bathroom cabinet.

The bathroom cabinet was where the family keep their cleaning supplies. Heavy-duty powder that was used to clean up serious messes regular soap couldn’t handle, pest control bottles that sprayed foul-smelling chemicals, and copious amounts of baby powder lined the floor of the cabinet. Some of the bottles and boxes were neatly arranged, but most of the supplies had been knocked over, their contents scattered everywhere due to a combination of missing lids and an unsupervised baby…at least that’s what Papyrus said.

His little brother didn’t like the Powder Place very much, and at one point he even tried to do something about it, admitting fully that he had once purposely spilled the contents of the baby powder in order to make the area smell like an infant rather than Catty’s litterbox room. It was Papyrus’s argument that cleaning supplies should never smell like fresh fruit.

“Be careful Snas, it may smell delicious in there, but erything be poison. Big people’s use it as a trick to kill off fat babies.”

“Don’t be absurd! That’s not even close to being correct.”

“Yes it is. Big people’s like their monies and a fat baby is a baby that eats alllll the time. Food costs money, so they buy poison that smell like food to get rid of the baby without legal con-see-quences.”

“That’s not true, who TOLD you that?”

“Dirt-Butt.”

“*Sigh*”

Of COURSE it was Dirt-Butt.

“Dirt-Butt” was ALWAYS saying nonsense, though it really didn’t bother Gaster as much as every other source of knowledge the infant found. He was usually relieved in fact. Papyrus was used to getting stereotypical info from the media, but the things Dirt-Butt told him more often than not, actually kept him out of trouble.

If only headaches weren’t still the norm…

“NO DADDY, DON’T USE DA’ LECTRICAL HOLE! DIRT-BUTT SAY PICHU LIVE IN THERE!”

“…What?”

“dirt-butt told pappy that pikachus were electric mice who made their homes in electrical outlets,” explained Sans, playing a game on his phone.

“IS TOO! PIKACHU’S BABIES LIVE IN THERE! YOU’S GONNA POKE EM’ IN THE BUTT!” Papyrus covered the holes of the outlet with his hands, Determined to save his fellow infants. “Dirt-Butt says only big people can get poked in the butt, he also say-”

“Pikachus do NOT live or make their nests in electrical outlets.” Interrupted the scientist. “No one does.”

“Yes they do! Dat’s why the tricity gets used up. Pichu eat da’ power so they can gets big, is their nutrients!”

Gaster shook his head. “No. The reason you don’t want to stick things in here is because you’ll be electrocuted. Dirt-Butt lied. You need to pay more attention to people when they’re talking Papyru-”

“You gets elly-cuted cause’ you piss off Pikachu.”

“Did you not hear me?”

“If you poke the babies, you gets zapped.”

“Papyrus.”

“I KNOWS MAH ANIMALS DADDY!”

“SNAS, MORE SALT!”

“NO, do NOT put salt in your brother’s bathwater, it’s terrible for bones,” said Gaster reaching into the cabinet. He pulled out the salt, but was immediately met with a wet keyboard to the face.

CACK!

“PAPYRUS!”

“GIMME MAH SALT STINK DADDY! IS MINE!”

“No, it is NOT yours-”

“GIMME MY SALT OR I’S GONNA TELL UPON YOUUU!”

“You do that.”

“I WILL! I’ll tell upon you and you’s gonna get in trouble! I tells em’ you taked the salt and tried to make a baby stew…” said Papyrus smiling.

“Wh-”

“I’ll tell eryone you putted salt and carrots in mah bath and eryone will hate you. They’ll go ‘poor baby Pappy, he has such a bad wife, his daddy try to cook him for supper! We should ah-rest that bad guy and donate lossa monies to that baby’s fundraiser so their family can eats!”

“…What fundraiser?” asked the father, sensing trouble. He immediately regretted saying anything. In fact, he regretted it before the second word even came out of his mouth, but by then it was already too late.

“MY fundraiser. Baby Pappy’s Happy Nappies for Crap Bs!” Papyrus grinned and spread his arms out wide as if in celebration.

“’Crap B’s…?”

“Crap babies. Babies who not geniuses like me. Snas say, other baes not as fortunate as us, so I should be nice and share mah toys.”

“…”

“I don’t wanna do that, so instead I makes a fundraiser to get the inferior infants nappies!”

“Papyrus-”

“Nappies is diapers.”

“I know what nappies are,” said Gaster, already annoyed. Though the fundraiser’s name was enough to prove to Asgore that he wasn’t responsible for whatever came from his youngest’s latest money-making scheme, he still had to put an end to it. If he didn’t, he’d have the king’s citizens knocking at his door, and things were already getting bad in that regard.

More and more monsters had fallen ill from Hotland’s toxic fumes due to the fact that the Underground’s air filter lacked the power to operate and the more…unreasonable, individuals were getting upset. With the Lab being the closest medical building, the sick were often brought in and placed into the renovated Medical Ward. What was once mostly a living room was now a warehouse of beds, stretching almost from one end of the room to the other and lined with monsters of every variety.

Not that he was running out of room or anything.

The monsters there weren’t being cured, but rather drained of their magic to create magic crystals, a brilliant, if cold-hearted idea to be sure. This however, was necessary, though it had a severe consequence as it resulted in an increase of the Fallen; monsters who had lost too much magic and so had fallen into a comatose state. If the comatose had a chance of waking, he wouldn’t have dozens of family members banging on his door and flooding his email with questions, but sadly that wasn’t the case. Those that fell, fell to dust. There was no waking them…at least he didn’t THINK so…Gaster admittedly hadn’t bothered to experiment with that kind of thing yet.

I’m raising two children, keeping the oil reservoir under control AND a secret, trying to come up with a permanent solution to our power problem, logging the names and the number of incoming patients, making magic crystals, recording Papyrus’s progress, AND fixing HIS messes; I don’t have the TIME to meddle in monster mortality.

“uh, dad? papyrus just ran out the door giggling.”

“Wh-what?” Gaster looked about the bathroom to find that it was, indeed, missing a baby. “Why didn’t you stop him?!”

“he ran right past you, so i figured it was okay.”

“Papyrus by himself is NEVER okay, you should know that! Where did he go?” He poked his head out of the doorway and looked down the hall. A wet trail of baby tracks led into the darkness and he could just faintly hear the clacking sound of tiny bone feet getting farther and farther away.

“he said something about ‘customer satisfaction’ or…whatever. i wasn’t really paying attention-”

“GET OFF YOUR PHONE AND GO GET YOUR BROTHER!”

“*siiiiigh* FINE. PAPPY? WHERE YOU AT BABY BRO?”

“I SAID ‘GET’ NOT ‘YELL’ SANS!”

Lazy little…

“uuuughh!” Rolling his eyes, Sans shoved his phone back into the pocket of his hoodie and walked out the door. “PAPPYYYY! HEEERE PAPPY!”

“NYEH HEE HEE HEE!”

Wiping off his ruined keyboard, Gaster tucked it under his arm and followed his oldest.

He already knew where the little bastard was headed.

Earlier in the week, while he was sweeping dust off the beds, he had found a little white diaper under the covers. ALL of the beds that once held the Fallen, had them in fact. It was obvious that Papyrus was putting diapers on the comatose patients, but until today, he never knew why.

“…those aren’t babies pappy,” said Sans from far off.

“Course they are! Daz why they sweep so much. Cwap babies don’t do much Snas, they just eat, sweep, and doody in their diapies. Some of them pay wit toys, but-”

“PAPYRUS GET OUT OF THE MEDICAL WARD!”

Papyrus turned his head to look down the hall, then, waving at his daddy, he turned back around.

“PAPYRUS!”

“Shoosh, stink Daddy! You wake da’ babies!” The tiny skeleton looked at the fluffy, unconscious dog-monster. “So tell us, doody-dog…how satisfied are you wit mah pro-duct? From one to a hundred?”

“…”

Papyrus lifted the dog’s head, “Eleventy-six!” exclaimed the baby bones, “I’d definitely wear another! Mah only complaint is the lack of hole for my stupid dog tail-”

“*pfft!* pap-”

“THERE SHOULDN’T BE ANY COM-PAINTS!” yelled Papyrus into the dog’s face. “DIS A FUNDRAISER, YOU BE GATEFUL FOR WHAT YOU GET, SUCK-BABY!”

“…”

“he’s not answering you bro.”

“Cwap babies not talk much Snas, but the result be clear. They satisfied…and now I must expand mah business!” cried Papyrus, raising a finger in the air. “TO WATERFALL!”

“huh?”

Using his wingdings, Papyrus picked himself up and placed his little body atop his brother’s skull, apparently expecting Sans to take him to his destination with haste.

He didn’t.

“pap, i don’t know what EXACTLY you’re trying to do, but it’s probably not a good idea; you’re naked and dad was-”

“TO WATERFALL SNAS!!” repeated the baby, louder this time. “TIME BE MONEY, HONEY!”

“don’t call me that.”

SPL-SPLASH!

Teleporting to Waterfall, the two brothers fell into the water near the docks, Papyrus slipping from his sibling’s head almost at once.

“NYEHHHHAAH! WHY YOU PUT US IN DA’ WATER SNAS? THE FISHIES SEE MAH BUTT!” The infant covered his rear end with a tiny hand, using the other to grab hold of Sans’ hoodie.

“then you shoulda listened to me huh?” replied Sans, CLEARLY not sorry at all. “besides, you know i can’t control exactly where i show up!”

Just the area in general…

“DON’T LOOK AT MAH BUTT CWEEP FISH!”

TAP!

A strange tapping sound drew the older boy’s attention, and Sans turned his head to see old man Gerson walking along the docks, cane in hand, while the baby batted at the curious fish.

“What’s all the commotion over here?” asked the turtle, scratching under his chin. He looked a lot more ancient when he was in full view. Sans usually only saw him in his shop, as did everyone else. It was rare to find him wandering around, as Undyne had a habit of taking it upon herself to scavenge for supplies at the Dump and present it to him to selling. Because of her, he never really HAD to leave anymore.

TAP, SHIFF!

The old man got closer and peered down at the two in the water, holding a magnifying glass to his eye. “Wahhaha, of course, of course it’s you, Papyrus. Giving your brother trouble I see!”

Does he bring that everywhere with him?

“it-it wasn’t pappy’s fault, i made a mistake,” said Sans quietly.

“Is that so? Well you two shouldn’t be bathing in the same place we water folk get our food, might get a taste for skeletons! Wahhahaha!” He laughed again, but the little Horror wasn’t as amused.

“DON’T EAT DA’ BABY!”

“we weren’t bathing…i just…took a wrong turn or something…”

“You weren’t? Then where are your brother’s clothes?”

“CTHULHU TOOK EM’! I seens it, wit my own widdle eyes, Wrinkle-Man!” said Papyrus, splashing in the water.

“Really? Well that’s just awful! Isn’t that awful Sans?”

“please don’t encourage him.”

“They must be pretty mean to do something like that; picking on a poor little cherub like you.”

“Yep, I’s a sad cher-chero-cherrio. A very sad cheerio Wrinkle-Man, baby’s don’t gots lots of monies ya’ know? How I supposed to buy new jammies wit no monies?”

“That IS an issue,” said Gerson warily, sensing an approaching problem. He turned to Sans, but the child only glared at him, his expression giving the answer to the old man’s unsaid plea.

You started this, now YOU can deal with it.

I’m not helping you.

“Ya’ know what would make this little cheerio happy again Wrinkle-Man?”

“cherub, pappy.”

“*Sigh*…What’s that?”

“If you would accept dis diapie.” The baby bones held up a soaked diaper, possibly getting it from out of Sans’ pocket.

“oh, that’s right, i didn’t check my pockets today.” He looked down at his clothes sadly. Whatever was in there today was probably ruined now by the water.

Papyrus tended to hide things in his brother’s hoodie.

Every once in a while, the kid comedian would reach into his pocket to find crayons, candy, a kaleidoscope, bouncy balls, a yo-yo, and sometimes even makeup in his pocket. They were fun little surprises that he enjoyed, like tiny gifts. They obviously belonged to his sibling, but liked Papyrus liked to say “what’s mine is yours,” so he considered them gifts.

The big treasures were his favorite, as they were rare and akin to getting surprise packages in the mail. He’d wake up in the morning and go to the place on the floor near the dresser where he always threw his hoodie and be excited to find a big lump covered by his clothing. A sign that his brother had hidden something neat.

You’d think he’d quit hiding things with it by now. He’s gotta know I’m stealing em’…

One time, Sans even found a skateboard hidden under it. He played with it a lot, and got pretty good, but when he started doing tricks, Papyrus became…unhappy. He remembered his baby brother screaming in terror and crying when he showed him a kickflip for the first and last time. He remembered feeling super guilty about it too. He only had 1 HP after all; if he fell, it was bye-bye big bro.

The skateboard now sat in a corner collecting dust, a sad reminder of what could have been.

“I don’t need a diaper yet kiddo!” said Gerson, slightly insulted.

“Sure, you do! All old peoples need diapies and all we asks in ass-change is dat you gives us a small donation.”

“A small donation’ hm?”

“Yep, for just thirty-twelve G, you could have this super absorbent, long-lasting diaper. Yo’ donations go to the Happy Nappies Fundraiser where we will buy MORE diapies and gives them to the less fortunate.”

“…It sounds like you’re selling diapers for 3,012g, FAR more than they’re worth. That’s thirty-twelve right? 3,012g?”

“Correct. We uses the extra monies to buy more nappies.”

“That’s not a fundraiser young’un’, you’re supposed to be raising money for charity. If you’re selling these to the babies here in the Underground-”

“I not sell to babies, I GIVE to da’ baes!”

“…But their parents pay for them.”

“Yes.”

“That’s not a fundraiser, you’re ‘hustling’ as the kids say.”

“No! I not hustle, I BUSTLE! The fundraiser be for babies, THEY gets the diapies for free, not the big peoples.”

“you’re either not understanding bro, or you’re trying to cheat people.”

Probably the latter.

“Daz not too. I buys diapies for the peoples who needs em’ and I use the rest to buy stuffs dat I need...like my jammies. Erybody wins.”

Papyrus attempted to climb out of the water and then, realizing his arms weren’t strong enough to pull him up onto the dock, he summoned his wingdings and placed himself onto the planks.

RATTLE RATTLE RATTLE!

“ugh, pap!” Sans covered his face as his tiny and inconsiderate sibling shook his body back and forth like the dogs in Snowdin, attempting to rid himself of the water.

“Wahahaha!”

SQISH!

THAP THAP THAP!

The infant squeezed the diaper in his hands and whipped it in the air, sending beads of water every which way. He knew it would probably not be the most absorbent product he ever sold, but perhaps the old monster would still want it for catching doodies…?

“bro, that diaper’s ruined, you’re not going to be able to sell it. look, it’s torn…”

“Nyeh?” Papyrus looked at the nappy in his hand. It seemed fine just a minute ago, but now it was all stretched out and worse yet, the sticky parts that were meant to hold the diaper in place wouldn’t stick anymore. He tried several times to get them to, but the front kept falling open.

Sans was right.

His product was ruined.

“NYEHHHHHAAHHHH! SNAAAAAAAS!”

“*sigh*”

“MY DIAPIE BE BOKEN SNAS! NYEH-HAAAHHHH!!!”

Sans got out of the water and picked up his baby brother. “don’t cry pappy,” he said, bouncing him up and down in his arms. “it’ll be okay.” He patted him on the back, but the baby bones refused to stop crying, still clutching the diaper in his little hand.

“Oh dear…hmm…tell you what,” said Gerson, pulling a wallet out of his shirt pocket. “I’ll buy your nappy at 2,000g, since it’s damaged. A young’un’ needs a pair of clothes, right?”

“our dad didn’t sell his clothes if that’s what you’re-”

“Shu up Snas, YES PWEASE MR. WRINKLE-GUY!” yelled Papyrus, suddenly all smiles. “I WOULD VERY MUCH AH-PEA-CIATE THAT!”

“PAPYRUS!”

“WAHHAHAHAHA!” laughing loudly, the tortoise-monster gave him the money. “Looks like this old man’s been outmaneuvered in marketing! I better watch out!”

“Nyeh hee hee hee!”

“…”

“Oh, don’t look so glum, my boy. Your brother needs this practice in order to protect you in the future! He’s gonna be quite the young warrior, isn’t that right Papyrus?”

“…There will be war.”

“WAHHAHAHAHA!” Mr. Gerson laughed again and walked back towards his shop. He tended to laugh a lot when Papyrus was present, though seeing him also made the elderly monster a bit sad too.

Sometimes I miss the old days when a lot of these little guys were around…

Maybe one day, nature will fix our past mistakes. I just hope it doesn’t need help…or that it’s not too late.

TAP, SHIFF!

“…that wasn’t very nice bro.”

“The business world is a harsh one, Snas,” said Papyrus, counting his G. “You needs to pactice too big Buther. One day, you’s gonna need to help da’ baby, ya’ know? Is sad dat you has no monies of your own. Just cause’ you gots 1 hp, don’t mean you’s useless. You gots a brilliant mind, put it to good use.”

“i don’t need life advice from a crook.”

“Kay’ when you gets a life, come see da’ baby.”

“i HAVE a life, you little asshole! it’s just isn’t a life of crime.”

“No crime no dime, big Buther. Sometimes you gots to break the rules to get da’ jewels! Tell Daddy he either pay you for help, or he pay fines for child labor.”

“that’s blackmail.”

“Is genius is what it is.”

Sans chuckled and put the money in his hoodie. “why would you need my help bro? unemployed monsters down here are a dime-a-dozen!”

“…”

“all jewel need to do is lie and they’ll help you out. i don’t need to do anything, heh heh…”

“…You needs to pactice yo’ font too.”

“fine-”

“SOMEWHERE AWAY FROM DA’ BABY!” yelled Papyrus, kicking his legs.

“i can’t leave you here, child abandonment is a crime-”

“DAZ NOT EVEN A PUN!”

“besides, crawling all the way home would be a bit labor-ious, wouldn’t it?”

“IIIII HATE CHUUUUUU!!”

CAP, CAP!

Oh crap, someone else is coming. I need to get Pappy back in some clothes or-

“HEY! NO BATHING IN THE FOOD SUPPLY, IT’S ILLEGAL!” cried a shrill voice Sans knew all too well. Startled, he dropped his brother in surprise, but luckily the infant didn’t seem to care.

“HELLWOE FISH-LADY!” Papyrus threw up his arm in greeting. “DA’ WRINKLE-MAN JUST LEFT!” The baby pointed towards Snowdin.

“He was just here?”

“yeah, he headed back to his stall a few seconds ago,” replied Sans, glaring at his brother. “while you were…underwater. why were you underwater? this is the breeding area…”

“Right, I was talking to the fish. Gotta make sure no one’s stealing them, so everyone can keep eating-”

“Fish Lady’s growing an army to fight the homos!” said Papyrus excitedly.

“SSHH!! Shut the fuck up Papyrus!” whispered Undyne harshly.

“homosapiens baby bro, you have to say the whole thing or…you know what? just say humans, kay’?”

“Homo humans!”

“…not better. also, are you talking about actual fish, undyne or water monsters?”

“WHO CARES?” yelled the young girl. “THE MORE SOLDIERS THE BETTER!” She grinned proudly, her hands on her hips. No one would expect an attack from the water AND the land, the next war against humans was as good as won.

That is, if no adults found out about it. They didn’t appreciate Undyne’s ingenious war strategies like Papyrus did.

No matter how helpful or cool they were, adults always seemed to have a problem with her ideas, and unfortunately, Sans and Gaster were no different. For most of them to work, she needed science nerds, but they saw her plans the same way they saw Papyrus’s, terrible and “asinine.”

The Royal Scientist’s words, not hers.

She didn’t know what “asinine” meant, but it had the word “ass” in it, so she assumed their father was calling her ideas booty.

My ideas aren’t ass!

My ideas are GREAT!

Stupid, crappy, science dweeb, is just lazy. How hard can it be to build a giant robot? Isn’t there already someone asking him to do that already?

“…A giant robot can destroy entire towns, I saw it in a movie.”

“what are you talking about? are you still on about that robot army?” Sans sighed, a trademark sign of his that meant he thought she was being stupid. Undyne had heard it many times before.

“IT’S A GOOD IDEA!!” she screamed. “AND IT WASN’T AN ARMY, IT WAS JUST O-”

“for the last time, if you saw something already done in a movie undyne, the humans know how to COUNTER it; they make the friggen’ things!”

Undyne’s so dumb…

“Yeah, but the movies are old, Sans! They’re in the Dump, because no one watches them anymore! We’ll have the element of surprise.”

“I wish to pilot a Gundam, big Buther.”

“SEE?! Papyrus wants it!” she said, pointing at the baby bones. “You want to blow up a town widdle Pappy?”

The infant smiled and bounced up and down on his rear end excitedly. “Yeah yeah yeah!” he said, ignoring his sibling’s frown. “I’s Middle Eastern ya’ know…is mah calling.”

“still don’t know what middle ease is, pap.”

“Middle East Snas! It mean I comes from da’ center of the earth…only is a liiiittle East.” The infant pinched his fingers together, squinting with one eye to make sure there was space between them, hoping he had solved the mystery.

“The center of the earth…?” Undyne looked confused. “You mean Hell?”

“i’d believe that.”

“Noooo! I’s on the WOOF of Hell…cept’ is a liiittle East.”

“Yeast…isn’t that the stuff bread is made from?”

“he’s saying east, undyne. it’s a direction.” Sans pointed towards where he knew the Lab was located.

“…That’s left, Sans-I MEAN RIGHT! That’s your right.”

“NYEH HEE HEE HEE!”

“SHUT UP PAPYRUS, I WASN’T WRONG!”

“you are.”

“YOU SHUT UP TOO!!”

“how old are you?”

“YOU CAN’T ASK ME THAT! I’M A WOMAN, IT’S ILLEGAL!”

“Is you a baby like me, Fish Lady? If so, I gots a great product for you…”

“I’m NOT a baby, I’M GROWN!” Undyne stomped her foot angrily on the planks of the pier, scaring Sans a little. He had no idea how long those timbers had been there, but he knew people walked on them every day. Eventually, they would break and need to be replaced…probably by the pines in Snowdin.

There are some people who use them for firewood too though, I know Grillby does. What if we run out? How long does it take a pine tree to grow?

…

Who planted them there to begin with?

“Nyeh? You spacing again, big Buther?”

It was something he thought of often whenever he was bored, and he highly doubted it was the monsters doing.

“Come back down from space, Snas!”

No one knew what the inside of Mt. Ebott was like, which is why everyone in the beginning not only scrambled for a home as soon as possible, but also refused to leave it behind for something better. It didn’t make sense to begin with for the monsters to carry saplings with them into a mountain with little to no sunlight. Even if the sunlamps in Snowdin had been immediately installed, it would’ve taken time. Could the trees survive that long without the sun? Why were they all pine trees to begin with? If the monsters came from different environments all over the world, wouldn’t some have brought cacti, palm trees, and other tropical plants?

It’s like someone made preparations for us to live here…

“EARTH TO THE SNAS!”

“AH!”

“Stop daydreaming and tell da’ Fish Lady how great mah fundraiser be! She doesn’t want to buy my diapies…” said Papyrus quietly.

“Why are you naked?”

“s-sorry bro, i was thinking about the trees. how come there’s only pine trees and fruit trees in the underground?”

“Nyeh?”

Why was his brother always thinking about trees?

“There’s a fern in the Resort Area,” said Undyne, hoping to change the subject. She’d rather talk about plants than diapers.

“why though? who was the guy who went ‘hey, yeah, i know i’m being ushered out of my home with little to no warning and should prooobably pack everything i think will be needed to maintain my survival-”

“But this fern doh…” The young girl laughed, imagining the scenario. “I gotta take this fern, man!”

“*pfft!* c’mon undyne, for real-”

“FERNS BEFORE FOOD! FERNS BEFORE FAMILY!”

“NYEH HEE HEE HEE HEE!”

“AND THESE FLOWERS, DUDE! I NEED THESE GOLDEN FLOWERS IN MY LIFE!”

Sans laughed in spite of himself as his baby brother let out a high-pitched screech of delight. As curious as he and it was, the comedian had to admit it was also pretty funny.

I guess back then, people didn’t have to worry so much about survival as they do now. They probably weren’t expecting things to be so hard down here.

It’s good that kids like us don’t have to worry about that sort of thing…most of us anyway.

Dad’s a douche, but our generation depends on him and he’s doing his best to deliver. Without him, the Underground would be doomed.

He didn’t want to admit it, but he was one of the worrying kids. The future frightened him; his father frightened him.

One of the perks of being invisible, aside from whenever the Royal Scientist needed him, was that Sans could go anywhere and do anything he pleased when off the clock. He knew about the Fallen and what his father was doing before Flowey even appeared to tell him, and he was willing to bet his brother did too.

Papyrus didn’t mess with the draining machine.

Sans noticed he didn’t talk about it either. There were no questions, no threats, no mentions whatsoever. In fact, these days Papyrus seemed to mellow out a bit in general, his pranks becoming fewer and fewer in number until the labs horrendous reputation began to fade. The baby bones had even gone out to recruit other bright minds to help in the lab, no doubt sensing his father’s incoming mental collapse.

Despite how serious their power problem was, the truth remained that they HAD oil. It was dangerous to use, but it was a choice Gaster had other than draining that he didn’t favor. He CHOSE murder, their father CHOSE to drain sick monsters who came to him for help, and showed absolutely no remorse or concern for his actions.

Not good.

“Does Onion-chan gots ferns?”

“huh?”

“It’s Onionsan, Pappy. You’re spelling it wrong, and yes, those are ferns.”

“oh, you’re still talking about ferns…who’s onionsan?” asked Sans. He didn’t know much about the monsters that lived underwater, but apparently no citizen was safe from his little bro. He hoped he hadn’t caused too much trouble…

“Onionsan-chan be a monster from Japan, man!” replied the infant, enjoying his tongue twister. “I doesn’t know how he got here dough…”

“OnionSAN, Papyrus-”

“They too big for mah diapies, so we not visit the tentacles today.”

“what?”

“Onionsan is a monster that looks like an octopus. I’ve never heard of Japan though.”

“Is where the woah-bots come from, Fish Lady! Da’ Vocaloid and the Gundams and the aira-planes…”

“airplanes aren’t robot birds baby bro,” said Sans smiling.

“Nyeh? No bird? Tsundereplane lie…?”

“huh?”

This alarmed Sans. Papyrus was behaving himself more in the lab, but that meant he was spending most of his time outside where it was dangerous.

Who’s Tsundereplane? How many people is he talking to?!

“you know what? it doesn’t matter. stop talking to strangers papyrus, it’s dang-PAPYRUS!”

BEEP BEEP!

Taking Sans’ phone out of his pocket via wingdings, Papyrus called his “friend” on speed dial.

“Hellwoe?”

“papyrus, stop!”

Who the hell gave him their number?! How long has that been in my phone?!

“Yep, is da’ baby…”

“hang up, papyrus. whoever gave you their number isn’t a sane person-”

“Snas say you’s not a whoa-bot bird Tsundereplane. Why you lie to cute widdle me?”

“…”

“WELL SCU YOU TOO, STINK ARROW-PLANE! I BEAT YO’ ASS!”

BEEP!

“…”

“…Tsundereplane not my friend no more.”

“Aww…poor Pappy…” Undyne patted the infant’s skull.

“don’t feel sorry for him! that’s what he gets for talking to strangers, maybe next time he’ll think before putting numbers in MY phone!”

“Yep, woe is me Fish Lady…”

“are you even listening to me?”

“…First they steals mah jammies and now they lie and call me an idiot-face. I am the saddest of cheerios…”

“THEY STOLE YOUR CLOTHES?!”

“you little shit.”

“STEALING’S ILLEGAL! Don’t worry Pappy, THE UNSTOPPABLE UNDYNE WILL GET YOUR CLOTHES BACK!”

“he’s lying undyne-”

Sans reached out to stop her, but Undyne was already off towards Hotland.

Damnit!

There’s no way he’d catch her, he didn’t even know who or where Tsundereplane was.

I don’t even know what they LOOK like…an airplane probably, but…

“Nyeh hee hee hee!”

“*humph!* i bet you’re pretty proud of yourself, huh baby bro?”

“Yes.”

“you think you did the right thing?”

“Yes.”

“what do you think’s gonna happen when undyne finds out you were lying?”

“She gonna come back and do the accu-sa-tions and Imma say ‘they throw my jammies in da’ lava?’ then I’s gonna cry reeeal loud, and she gonna feel sorry for me.”

“…”

“She’ll say, ‘aww, I didn’t think of that! Poor baby Pappy…I should go out and buy you NEW jammies!’ and then I say, ‘no, no, you’s done enough.”

“…is that right?”

“Yep. I say, “Just gives me some monies and I go gets em’. Shopping be boring.’ Then she gonna go ‘you’s right! Shopping IS boring. Here are some monies…and a widdle extra for the accu-sa-tions.”

“…”

“That’s when I be reeeal nice and say ‘keep da’ extra, you deserves it for being a good friend to da’ baby.’ Then I buys candy and I eats it, then we all live happy ever after.”

“…i’m calling undyne.”

“WHY YOU GOTS TO DESTROY MY HAPPY AFTER?”

BEEP BEEP BEEP!

“I’M NOT SELLING YOU NOTHIIIIINN’!!!” screamed Papyrus, “NYEH!” Snatching his brother’s phone, the baby bones took off running towards Snowdin.

“PAPYRUS! PAPYRUS, NO!”

“NYEH HEE HEE HEE HEE!”

“DO NOT GO INTO TOWN NAKED, PAPYRUS!”

Friggin’ dumbass! There’re dogs everywhere there, he can’t be showing that many bones, he’ll get eaten!

Or they would.

Probably the dogs.

Either way, Sans knew who would ultimately be blamed.

“GOOD LUCK FINDING ME IN DA’ SNOW BIG BUTHER!”

“ugh, shit!”

POOF!

With an enthusiastic smile, Papyrus leapt into a snow poff as soon as his sibling lost sight of him. There was no way Sans would find a tiny white skeleton in a snowfield. It would be like finding a needle in a haystack…whatever a haystack was.

Finally, his Michael Jackson syndrome was paying off.

“Nyeh? *sniff sniff*”

That was odd. The snow poff he was in smelled like doody. Well, actually, the whole town smelled like a barnyard, but this was especially bad…

“*huff puff* pa-papyrus…”

“…”

“papyrus, i know you’re in there, your tracks lead right to the snow poff field!”

“…Those could be anybody’s tracks, there’s no baby here, skelly-man.”

“really? heh heh, well that’s weird. most people who live in snowdin avoid the snow poffs.”

“…I had to move cause’ I missed my rent. This my home now.”

Sans laughed; his brother had no idea. “woooow, that sucks. i’d personally hate to live in a poop-igloo, but you do you man, ha ha ha!”

“What?” Papyrus poked his head out of the snow poff and looked down.

“yep. the reason the snow is built up in this area and nowhere else, is because this is where people dump their chamber pots.”

“…”

“the snow tends to build on top of the droppings and that’s what makes these little mounds, cool huh?”

“…”

“asgore is trying to get plumbing up and running, but it’ll be a while before THAT happens, what with the power issue and all. personally? i don’t see it happening. people make money gathering these snow poffs up to sell for fertilizer.”

Without saying a word, Papyrus climbed out of the snow poff and walked towards the Ruins. It was the longest route to a river, but at least it didn’t cut through town.

“papyrus?”

“Shut up.”

“aww, what’s wrong pappy? paaappyyyy-”

SPLASH!

The baby bones jumped into the river, using his wingdings to hold himself steady in order to keep from being swept away by the current.

“…”

“oh no, pappy! you can’t just hop into the river, the fishies will see your butt!”

“…”

“you know what you need to catch those doodies? what every baby needs?”

“Choke on bread.”

“a dia-”

SPLASH!

“heh.”

#Fonttale #Fonttale au #Undertale #Undertale au #Papyrus #Sans #Baby Papyrus #Kid sans #Kid undyne #Undyne #Gaster #Undertale fanfiction #Dark Comedy

21 notes · View notes

enraged-chihuahua · 4 years

Note

i forgeeet ur younger than me loll- i mean i SHOULDNT its COMMON. KNOWLEDGE and like half the steeb rongers comparison but also shh ich bin dumm anyway ask boxes r less intmidsting than msgs so Heeere I Amm Babesssss ye that anons rly snatched yo heart broski go get em we stan

ilyt

5 notes · View notes

tournesolia · 5 years

Text

Chaos Lineage Kanato Chapter 7 Translation

Place : Orange mansion – Living room and dining room

Carla : You're cornered. Right now, my brothers are eliminating your companions and looking after Eve

If you're intelligent, you should know what to do in this situation, right ? Obediently hand Eve over to us

Ruki : I'm sorry but I can't do that. I'm not prepared to give you Eve right here

Carla : I see. Do you mean you'll only be prepared when you come of age ?

However, without any abilities, my power will bring you into submission

Ruki : I'm not sure about that. Since you brought your brothers along, I also brought mines

Shin : I'm here, big brother ! I'll support you !

Carla : Heh, so you won't give up easily

Ruki : Shin, don't lower your guard. Carla is our opponent

Shin : Car... la... ?

Ruki : Shin ?

Carla : Does this mean you won't hand Eve over to the bitter end ? Then I won't show mercy

Shin : … !

Ruki : (Just know, I felt like Shin shrank back for a moment...?)

(Even though he's usually the first one to face the enemy)

Shin : …

Ruki : (Is he scared of Carla ? No, it would be better to say that he feels uncomfortable)

Carla : …

Ruki : (It's not just Shin. Carla is acting strange as well)

(Even though he did nothing but talk big, he wouldn't face us since Shin arrived)

(Is he hesitant to fight ? Is this man...?)

Carla : Hey

Ruki : !?

Carla : You are... one of his brothers. Is there something you want to say to me ?

Shin : N-Nothing

Carla : I see, but your face... Have I seen it somewhere before... ?

Ruki : (… What ? These guys feel something with each other)

Laito : Ah, Carla, here you are. We searched inside the mansion but couldn't find anyone

Subaru : Ah ? What's that ? We gathered here

Laito : Indeed. Looks like Carla alone wasn't enough, but whatever

Ruki : Hmph, so more are coming

Shin : What do we do, big brother ? At this rate...

Carla : Have you found Eve ?

Laito : Eh ? We haven't ? Looks like it will take time to search inside the mansion

Subaru : It'd be better to ask the enemy directly. Hey, where did you hide Eve ? Answer quick or I'll destroy everything completely

*Subaru destroys a shelve

Laito : You already started though. Come on, Subaru-kun, don't you think it's a better plan to let them speak before you run out of control ?

Ruki : It's convenient to us if she can't be found. We still have a chance to win at 3 against 2

Shin, I will hold Carla back when you beat Laito and Subaru. Can you do it ?

Shin : Yup, I don't care if they're two. I'll beat up those clowns

Carla : … Sorry to cut short the conversation but it seems the rest of my brothers arrived

Ruki : What !?

Kou : Ah, everyone's here ! Geez, don't leave us all alone

Azusa : Carla... We couldn't find Eve

Shin : Tch... We're at a disadvantage. What do we do, big brother !?

Big brother... ?

Ruki : Those guys...

Kou : Well well, judging from our numbers, you're absolutely at a disadvantage. How about giving up already ?

Azusa : You should do... as Kou said

Ruki : You... !

(What is this ? This headache just now... My body froze at the sight of those two...)

(Do I know those guys... ?)

Azusa : Ah... Ruki...

Ruki : … No, that can't be true. It's just my imagination. Let's go, Shin !

Scene change : Dungeon

Yui : (There's really loud sounds... Just as I thought, we're being attacked by the other houses)

Kanato : Where does the attack happen ? It looks like it's happening in an extremely violent way

Ah, I see, it may be Carla and the others

Yui : Carla and the others... ?

Kanato : Carla was very obsessed with becoming the supreme ruler. So he would attack using any means necessary

Yui : (Then he will probably confront Shin-kun...)

(And not only that. Even Ruki-kun may fight against Kou-kun and Azusa-kun !)

(Nothing can be worse than everyone engaging in a death battle with their real brothers)

(What also worries me is... If Kanato-kun stays confined in jail as it is...)

(Kanato-kun and I may end up being captured when Ruki-kun and the others will lose)

(And if that happens, no one will be able to regain their memories and return home...)

Kanato : This is troubling. Unlike the Scarlets, the Violets are a larger group

Even worse, if Carla is on the enemy side, we're clearly at a disadvantage

Hm ? Please wait... If Ruki-kun and the others lose...

You will be stolen while I'm confined in jail... !

Don't mess with me ! I absolutely won't allow that to happen !!

*Kanato tries to break out of jail

Yui : Kanato-kun !

(Kanato-kun grabs the grid with both hands and tries to open it !)

Kanato : OPEEEEEEEEEEEEN !

Yui : (He puts a lot of effort but it's not likely to break...)

Kanato : It's no use, it doesn't move an inch ! To think I can't even break that grid... !

Yui : It's not your fault ! It's the cellar that looks so sturdy

Kanato : I know it's not my fault !

But you think you can say that at such a time !?

Damn it ! Open ! OPEN !

Yui : (Kanato-kun tries his hardest to figure out something)

(I'm outside of the cellar so what I can do is...!)

Wait a moment, I'll retrieve the key. Do you happen to know where the key to the cellar is ?

Kanato : Eh ? It's probably... in Ruki's room...

Yui : Alright. I'll go get it !

Kanato : Don’t ! There's a battlefield on the upper floor right now !

Yui : Don't worry, I'll make sure to not be found

Just wait, I'll definitely come back !

(Even I have to do something !)

*Yui leaves

Kanato : Hey ! Please don't go ! Come back ! COME BACK !

Why won't you listen to what I say... ?

Please... don't leave me... alone...

Scene change : Orange mansion – Corridor

Yui : (Just a little more until I reach Ruki-kun's room ! God, please, make sure I won't be found !)

*sounds of battlefield

Yui : Again...

(Everyone is fighting... This is absolutely not good !)

(I don't know how to stop them. And I became the cause to all this...)

(But now is not the time to get depressed)

(I have to get Kanato-kun out of jail no matter what !)

Scene change : Orange mansion – Ruki's room

Yui : (Key... Key... The key to the cellar is...!)

Here !

(Alright ! Let's return to the cellar quick !)

Scene change : Orange mansion – Corridor

Yui : (Looks like no one's here)

(Even so, it suddenly became quiet. What happened to everyone ?)

Laito : Not here either. She's nowhere to be found after all

Subaru : What a pain. Carla can also search by himself

Yui : (It's Subaru-kun and Laito-kun ! They're enemies right now so I have to hide !)

(Let's hold my breath behind this pillar for the time being...)

Subaru : … Hm ? Hey, isn't there a sweet smell ?

Laito : True. There's a sweet smell of blood. Is this the scent of the Eve we heard about ?

Yui : (No way... They noticed my scent even from here !?)

Subaru : Oh, that blood smell... It became thick

Laito : Is she somewhere nearby by any chance ?

Subaru : … Yeah, she is

Yui : (What should I do !? At this rate, they will find me !!)

Laito : Hehe. Is she other heeere ?

Subaru : … There's no doubt. The blood smell gets more and more thick

Yui : (If they progress a little more, they will see me ! But I can't move correctly...)

(Geez, is this the end !?)

*someone throws plates at Laito and Subaru

Laito : Ouch !

Subaru : Guh... !

Yui : (Eh...?)

(Lots of dishes hit both of them just now !)

Laito : That huuurts. Where did those plates fly from ?

Subaru : Are they making fun of us by throwing those things ? They were thrown from here

There's still a survivor in that mansion ? Hey, let's go

Laito : But what about Eve ? That smell is definitely hers, and I think we'd better catch her now

Subaru : It's better to beat the shit out of all those guys who get in the way first. Now let's go !

Laito : Okay okay. Geez, you're tyrannical

*Laito and Subaru leave

Yui : (Thank godness, they didn't find me thanks to the dishes that were thrown at them)

(But who threw them...?)

*someone grabs Yui

Yui : Kya !

Ayato : Shut up. Don't scream when I'm holding you. Those guys will notice us

Yui : Ayato-kun !

Ayato : Shut up, I said ! Lower your voice

Yui : … O-Okay. Were you the one who threw the plates ?

Ayato : Yup. In fact, I wanted to get rid of them directly, but...

Ruki didn't stop telling me to not fight directly if there's two or more opponents

I hate obeying that guy but I've got no time for that now

Yui : I see

Ayato : Who cares about that !? Let's go, quick !

Yui : Where are we going... ?

Ayato : Ah ? To the dungeon, duh. Kanato's still in there !

Yui : … Eh !?

(Ayato-kun is worried about Kanato-kun...?)

Ayato : I went that far to distract those guys so let's take the opportunity to hurry !

Yui : Yes ! Thank you, Ayato-kun !

(Thank godness, I thought I had to save Kanato-kun all by myself, but I still have an ally...!)

Scene change : Dungeon

Ayato : Alright, we're fine now that we came all the way here. I'll put you down

*Ayato puts Yui down

Yui : Thank you for taking me this far, Ayato-kun

Kanato-kun ! I'm back !

Kanato : Ah... ! Did you come back !? What did you think you were doing, ignoring what I said !?

What would you plan to do if you died or got caught ? I wouldn't be able to save you in that situation !

Don't you understand how uneasy I felt !? Please think about me a little !

Yui : I-I'm sorry...

Ayato : Yo, Kanato. You look fine

Kanato : Ayato... Why are you with Yui-san... ?

Ayato : Oh, shut up. I saw that coming

Eve, give me the key before that guy makes an uproar. He's noisy so we got no choice

Yui : Y-Yes ! Kanato-kun, we'll unlock the door right away, okay ?

*the door in unlocked

Yui : It opened !

Kanato-kun !

Kanato : Yui-san !

*Yui and Kanato run to each other

Yui : (I can properly hug Kanato-kun ! I'm so glad !)

(It was across the grid until now but... I can completely hug him now !)

Ayato : Hey, it's not the time for a touching reunion

Yui : Ah... S-Sorry...

*they stop hugging

Kanato : Indeed, our first priority is to manage our current situation

I'll definitely get my revenge on that guy who treated me cruelly

Ayato : Then leave it to Yours Truly. I got a good plan !

Kanato : When Ayato makes that face, he's decided to do something careless. What will you do ?

Ayato : Kicking some asses ain't your thing. So I'll route those guys !

Yui : Eh ? Don't tell me you're going to fight them face-to-face ?

This is unreasonable !! We don't know how many our enemies are

We don't even know what happened to Ruki-kun and Shin-kun...

Kanato : That's right. Don't say such foolish things, let's escape from this place at once

Ayato : You get out of here on your own. I'm gonna fight them even if I'm alone

Yui : Ayato-kun...

Kanato : …

And what is the purpose ? There's no way you'd care about us and sacrify yourself...

Ayato : Don't get any ideas

If Eve gets stolen by those other guys, the path of Yours Truly to become the supreme ruler will be far away !

That's just it. So get away from here with Eve while I beat those guys

Never hand her over to them until then. Got it, Kanato ?

Kanato : … Understood

Ayato : I'll give you a signal when the enemy ain't around. Wait here until then !

But if I don't come back, you both run away quick. Got it ?

*Ayato leaves

Yui : Ayato-kun !!

… He left...

B-But is he really going to be okay ? If he buy us some time, he's going to come back, right ?

Kanato : I wonder... I don't think Ayato can do something all by himself, though

Yui : No way, Ayato-kun didn't do this for himself, but really for us...

Kanato : But why would he do such a thing ? We weren't even close in the first place, and his memories have been tempered with, and yet...

Yui : …

(Ayato-kun...)

*some time passes

Yui : (Since then, we kept waiting here as Ayato-kun told us)

There's again these sounds, Kanato-kun

Kanato : Indeed

Yui : (I wonder if Ayato-kun is doing okay)

Kanato : Ah… !

Yui : Ah, I'm sorry. I unconsciously clung to you. Your clothes are crumpled...

Kanato : It doesn't matter at all. Please cling more to me, so your anxiety eases...

I will hug you as much as you like

*Kanato gets closer

Yui : (Ah, I'm in the arms of Kanato-kun... I feel relieved despite the situation we're in)

Yes, thank you

Kanato : No need to thank me. You were always moping around so it can't be helped

Yui : Kanato-kun...

Kanato : Besides, now my mind is a lot calmer compared to when we got separated earlier

Yui : … ?

Kanato : I'm talking about the time you left me here to get the key to my cellar

I thought I would never see you again and die as it is, and it made me crazy

Yui : Kanato-kun...

Kanato : What scared me was getting separated from you. But now, even if I get killed, I can be with you

Yui : (I see. At that time, I was desperate to get Kanato-kun out of jail no matter what, but...)

(Kanato-kun surely felt uneasy and scared while he was left here)

(He began to think he might never see me again)

I'm sorry I left you alone

Kanato : It doesn't matter now, because you're right here... in my arms

Yui : Yes ! I won't leave your side anymore

Kanato : That's right, please don't leave me

– There's not any noises anymore, somehow. It's quiet

*Kanato moves back

Yui : … I wonder what happened

(Did the fight ended ? But if that was the case, Ayato-kun would have come back to us)

Kanato : There's not any sounds, just as I thought. This is weird

Yui : Ah… Kanato-kun ?

Kanato : I will go take a look. Please stay here

Choice 1 : I'll come along (White roses)

Yui : Wait, I'll come along !

(Because I promised you to never leave your side anymore...!)

Kanato : I refuse. Please think carefully. If you come out, it will turn out just how our enemies wished

Yui : T-That may be true...

Choice 2 : Consent (Black roses)

Yui : … Alright. I'm sorry you have to go all by yourself

(Even if I go with him, I'll only get in the way)

Kanato : That's natural, because if you came out, you would get captured

Yui : … That's true...

– End of choices

Yui : (I've got no choice but to wait here in the end)

Be careful, Kanato-kun ! And make sure to come back, okay ?

Kanato : Of course I intend to do that, you didn't have to tell me

Yui : … Right

Scene change : Orange mansion – Corridor

Kanato : (I don't see anyone around from here)

(Hm ? That person over here is Ayato... And there's Laito and Subaru)

Ayato : … G-Guh...

Kanato : (That Ayato guy... He only talked big and got teared to pieces, huh)

Laito : It was waay too easy considering you intentionally started the fight, you know ? Don't tell me it's already over ?

Subaru : You didn't fight much. You let all the bothersome things to me

Laito : I didn't get in the way, did I ?

Subaru : Hmph !

Laito : Now, let's capture him alive, as Carla ordered

Subaru : What's the point ? We'd better kill him quick

Laito : Subaru-kun doesn't get that we can use him for later, huuuh ? So help me tie him up

Subaru : Ugh, fine, I'll do it

*Laito and Subaru tie Ayato up

Subaru : That'll do. C'mon, get up !

Ayato : Tch... Damn it...

Kanato : (Ayato is taken by those two)

Laito : With this, we captured three Oranges, right ?

Subaru : What about Eve and the remaining Orange ?

Laito : Them ? They must be scared and be hidding somewhere, no ?

So they won't be a great threat. We should take our time to look after Eve later

Subaru : Tch, what a slacker !

*Laito and Subaru take Ayato away

Kanato : (Judging from their current conversation, it seems Ruki and Shin got both captured by the enemy)

(And Ayato got captured as well... That idiot sacrified himself on purpose...!)

(I'm offended that he intended to help us like this !)

(What am I supposed to do when I'm the only one left...!?)

Chapter 7 : End

#Diabolik Lovers #diabolik lovers translations #diabolik lovers chaos lineage #Sakamaki Kanato #Komori Yui #Mukami Ruki #tsukinami carla #tsukinami shin #sakamaki ayato #sakamaki subaru #sakamaki laito #mukami kou #mukami azusa #chapter 7

126 notes · View notes

newsiegirlscout · 7 years

Text

Crazy Kid

Hey-yo! Writing Neapolitan people, I am heeere! This is a story I actually wrote wayyy back and only just now pulled out of my writing la-bor-a-tor-y, here we go!

Lilly/Lindsay/E-mail Girl (An amazing person that I kinda, ahaha, talk about a lot), this is for you.

He wasn’t supposed to be taking care of children. Heck, he was still a bit of a child himself. So what was he supposed to do, when, with nothing but a phone call and a hasty explanation later, two kids he’d only even heard of a few times before showed up on his doorstep? How in the world was he supposed to keep the weirdness of the town under wraps from them, his nerdy nephew in particular, so they wouldn’t get burnt?

‘Course, the boy had found out everything, despite his efforts.

Kid never gave up on his determination, you had to give him that.

Not even to gain control of himself for a moment before summoning the whole goddamn zombie apocalypse.

Crazy kid.

Dipper had been grounded for two weeks after that--sure, he’d let him off a bit easy, but the dork was only there for the summer as it was, and heaven knows his niece was impossible enough to handle without someone else to talk to.

Though, of course, the short sentence didn’t stop his great-nephew from, oh, climbing out the damn window and chasing after some sort of gingham squirrel. Just like a rambunctious puppy, really.

He shouldn’t be out here, paying his employees overtime to manage the gift shop for a few hours, all but running out the door with a flashlight in hand-(Flashlight, any flashlight, didn’t bother to check if it was one of his brother’s army-style ones or the solar-powered flashlights from the gift shop), a can of pepper spray, and an itchy trigger finger for whatever Dipper was in a tangle with.

Crazy kid.

He shouldn’t be this deep into the wooded thickets, his heart sending spikes of adrenaline coursing through his veins as he stepped through the undergrowth, trying to ignore the lost footprints, the snapped shoelace, the scrap of threadbare red cotton on the thorns, until the light’s beam cut through the shadows and found him.

There, his great-nephew’s eyes widening like a deer caught in the headlights when they saw his outline, he sat fastened by the bear trap encasing his scrawny leg (And who had set it out, trying to catch a BEAR in damn Gravity Falls?) Everything about his appearance, from the visible scratches littering his skin to the leaves in his hair, to the telltale wine-red stains splattered on the metal jaws and dripping in rivulets down his knee, read to Stan that once again, the kid had gotten into another scrape he wasn’t sure how to handle on his own.

Crazy kid.

Closing his eyes and ducking down as he pushed his shoulder forward like a bird trying to hide behind its broken wing, Dipper seemed to choke on a hastily-stammered apology, the words he wanted to say phlegm in his throat.

“Are you alright?” Stan asked, of course knowing he wasn’t, he was caught in a bear trap, for crying out loud.

“W-what?”, his nephew gasped softly, watching his great-uncle kneel down to his height, spring the hinged teeth, take the injured leg in his calloused fingers and run his touch over it for the full extent of the harm until he saw him wince and tear up when he hit his bloodied shins.

“Looks like a break”, he said, tearing off his tie and wrapping it around the torn, battered knee, “C’mere, kiddo.”

He shouldn’t be here, cradling his nephew to his chest with his free arm, letting him fall asleep as he retraced his footsteps, jostling the cheap flashlight in his left hand every few seconds so it would stay lit, vague notions forming in his head to put him by the window so he could still see the sunsets, as long as it took him to get a proper cast.

Crazy kid.

#gravity falls #dipper pines #stan pines #stanley pines #grunkle stan #gravity falls fanfiction #stan and dipper bonding #my writing #my fanfiction #waffles to go #BOOSH I got it up!#pandafish!

20 notes · View notes

headoverhiddles · 8 years

Text

Bon Soir [Lafayette x Reader] Part One

Description: You, an American patriot from a loyalist family, catch the eye of the Marquis De Lafayette one night at a tavern. After your first night with the enigmatic frenchman, you realize how turbulent life can really get in a time as turbulent as this.

Warnings For This Chapter: Smut, alcohol, mild swearing, and mild Lams, where I could slip it in ;)

Notes: So, there will be five parts to this story. It will, if we’re being honest here, be updated probably once or twice a week until it is finished. This story is a mix of Hamilton’s characters and actual historical stuff, and there will also be lots of appearances from the rev set in this fic, so brrrah, brrrah!! Enjoy.

||Part Two||

It's a beautiful night in the colony of New York, the moon full and the usual chill in the air slightly warmed. Besides it being a lovely night, it was also quite rowdy- but during these turbulent times, you couldn't expect less from the Northern colonies.

You pull your cloak tighter around your shoulders... it's really not a night to be out for a lady, but you couldn't care less. Your family still clings to the proverbial olive branch, one of the less popular voices of loyalist reconciliation. You're a patriot, through and through, and any chance you have to escape your frankly shameful homestead under an anonymous family name at night to "cavort" with those who share your views on freedom, you take.

Slipping down a dark alley with the hood of your cloak pulled up, you find your way into the even rowdier Fraunces Tavern. Looking around, you smile. Men clinking their sloshing drinks together, shouts and jeers at the king tossed around liberally- this was the beginning of a revolution, and you’d be damned if you missed it.

"You lookin' for a good time, honey?" some guy with a heavy Boston accent asks you from the table next to the door, and you turn to him.

"I'm looking for a drink, and whatever good time I can derive from that." The guy still stares at you, waiting for a follow up, so you decide to win even more favour by voicing your views. "Fuck the king?"

The entire table bursts out in cheers and pounds their fists and mugs down repeatedly as you smirk and saunter past them. You get to the bar, and ask for a Sam Adams, before turning around and surveying. To answer the drunk man's question, you aren't actively seeking that sort of good time, really... but, nights like these were full of exceptions.

"Here you are, miss," the friendly bartender nods to you, then pauses, "I've seen you in here a couple times now, and I don't recall your name.” He looks genuinely confused. “Who's your husband?"

"I'll let you know once I find one," you wink, and cross the tavern to occupy a booth. Just as you're lifting up your skirts to sit, the door crashes open, and in come four very loud young men.

"What time is it?!" one yells, and the other three yell back, "Showtime!" while cackling and slapping each other on the back.

You roll your eyes again, imagining all the fights they were sure to start tonight. The bartender seems to know them, and pours four ales for them as well. Snatching up his drink, the short one with the ponytail and goatee marches right up to the table in the middle, getting up on it and chugging half his mug.

"To the revolution!" he finally bursts out with, and almost trips off the table. The large one with the beanie catches him, shaking his head with a grin, and the second shortest one with curly hair and freckles joins the talker with a close arm around his shoulder.

"Now this is the place to be, amiright boys?!" freckles shouts, taking a long drink.

"Oui oui, mon ami," another voice chuckles, and your interest is immediately peaked. A frenchman in the colonies? The excitement of these taverns is incomparable, and it is exciting to say the least to hear someone from so far away- you know a little of the language, or what you had learned as a girl.

You watch in quiet admiration as a tall, athletically built man with dark hair tied up in a bun and a close trimmed beard steps out, carrying two mugs of ale. He hands one to beanie man, and plops his own down on the table. "We must tell the king casse toi with our war effort!"

"We will, Laf," beanie assures, "But first? Horses."

"What?" freckles and goatee both say at the same time.

"Corsets," beanie laughs, rubbing the back of his neck, "I meant corsets."

"Hercules, you are an idiot," Laf deadpans.

"I'm the most mature one here," Hercules shoots back.

"Easy, when tes amis are Alexander Hamilton and John Laurens."

Hercules lets out a booming laugh, and is soon joined by Laf's own charming snicker. Alex and John are too enamoured with their own private conversation to notice much.

Your eyes train on Laf. If he was french, he must have a longer name than that... you're determined to know it. He was undeniably a charmer- he was handsome, dashing as a prince, and very stylish. With the words he had uttered earlier, you found it safe to assume he's as passionate about American independence as you are.

You make an excuse to walk by.

"Heyyy there," goatee (Alexander)? calls, swivelling his head to look at you.

Bingo.

Hercules lets out a low whistle as you turn to face them. "I don't mean to be too forward, but madamn.”

"What the ever loving merde is that supposed to mean, Hercules?" Laf's face scrunches up, and Herc just shrugs.

"Works on most of 'em."

"I'm Alexander Hamilton, bastard, orphan, son of a whore," Alex jumps up, grasping your hands, and you can see the gears in his slightly drunk mind turning. "So I'd love to flirt for like, a really long time because you're pretty and everything, but there's a revolution to plot-"

"-And drink to!" John adds.

"-And drink to, as my beautiful lover Jackie just piped in and waaait, I'm probably not supposed to say shit like that in a tavern full of guys who will probably have me castrated for it, but hey, we die like men, right?"

"Yo, um, sorry 'bout him," John blushes with a slight slur, coming over to guide Alex back to his seat. "He gets- *hic*- chatty when he's tipsy." You just laugh, letting them know it's no big deal. John doesn't seem very interested in you romantically or sexually, only greets with a good natured- albeit tipsy as well- smile. Hercules gets up to introduce himself.

"Hercules Mulligan. I'm Irish." He drops his voice down to a whisper. "That's kind of my thing." Laf gets up to hip bump Hercules out of the way, take your hand, and press a kiss to it. You blush deeply.

"Bon soir, belle mademoiselle. I am Paul Yves Roch-"

"Heeere we go," Alex slurs.

"-Gilbert de Motier de Marquis de Lafayette," Laf finishes with a glare to his friends, then turns back to you with a gaze that could only be described as... lust ridden?

"Plaisir," you reply in french, and his eyes widen, his entire body straightening like an arrow in excitement.

"You speak my mother tongue, cherie?!"

"Only a little," you confess with a timid giggle, "I'm not French, monsieur Lafayette, only acquired some words from my studies."

"Gorgeous and intelligent," he flirts, "A lady after my heart."

"Handsome and bold," you volley back, "A man after mine."

"OHHHH SHIT!" John shouts, and Alex begins to laugh.

"GUESS WHO'S GETTING IT IN TONIGHT?!"

"Not you two," Laf growls, and John and Alex tumble over each other watching you both. Hercules just rolls his eyes, and downs his drink.

"Care to drink with us?" Lafayette offers, outstretching his hand, and you happily accept. Hercules gets up to grab you another beer, and slides it over to you. John begins to chug his second, and you smirk, taking it as a challenge. Downing yours to the last drop, you've finally earned the respect of Hercules Mulligan as he bangs on the table and shakes his head.

"You are getting better and better as the night goes on," Laf whispers, and you laugh.

"Is that the alcohol talking?"

"On the contrary, cherie, I am still on my first... though I may be thinking with something other than my mind," he alludes, and you feel a shiver run through you.

He is very attractive.

"What brings you to the colonies?" you ask Lafayette conversationally, and he takes a sip of his ale.

"Revolution."

"You're here for congressional duties?" you feign ignorance, though you know how to identify a congressman- powdered wigs, brightly coloured jackets, and stuffy mannerisms. Nothing Laf possessed.

"Ah no, mademoiselle. War is imminent- that is the talk here and overseas. I will fight as one of you for your glorious country!"

"Ayyy, to our fighting frenchman!" Alex lifts his mug, and John raises his as well.

"Very brave," you murmur, "I wish I could serve in the continental army."

"You can still do your part at home," Laf assures, taking your hands excitedly, "You can make gunpowder, you can sew uniforms, you can..." he suddenly hesitates, lowering his eyes, "Pray for and write letters to your husband."

"Why does everyone in this tavern assume I have a husband?" you tease, and he looks back up.

"Forgive me. No one has, eh… courted you yet?"

"Courted me? Oh, quite a few. I have yet to accept," you giggle, "I suppose I’m just as hard to please as the next young lady."

"I, too, have very specific tastes," he nods, and bites his lip, "Mais, it would be very nice to have a woman to boost my morale on the battlefield."

"Wait... hey, what's your name?" John laughs, "We didn't even ask!"

"Oh," you blush, eye contact with Lafayette broken, "Um..." You sigh. It shouldn't be any trouble to give them your real name. "(y/n) (y/l/n)."

Everyone repeats your name, raises a glass, and drinks. Lafayette smirks at you a moment longer, then drinks as well.

As the night wears on, you start to become even closer with the group. Stories are passed around, drinking games are played, and talk that would've sounded like treason in many other colonies flowed freely from your mouth with the boys. As the night begins to dwindle with the candles burning down close by, hands begin to wander, skirts began to lift a few inches, and blood begins to rise.

"Raise one last glass to freedom," John finally says, somewhat soberly, as everyone stands up, "Something they can never take away."

"No matter what they tell you," Herc adds, placing a hand over his heart.

"Raise a glass to the... five of us, here tonight," Alex nods, looking to you, "Our cause is a great one."

"King George will never stand a chance," you finish, and everyone downs their last sip and sits back down. With that, Laf takes your hand, rubbing a thumb over your knuckle. You turn to him, and take note of how he’s staring at your lips. Danger and adrenaline course through your veins, imagining just what he could be picturing right now. Practically in his lap by now, you shift your hips a little, and he sucks in a sharp breath.

"It is getting late, ma cherie," he murmurs, obviously holding back, and begins to stand.

"It is," you nod, moving to brush your fingers along the hem of his blue coat, and grasp your fingers firmly in his lapel. His eyes dart to meet yours, dark and warning, and his fingers find yours as he lets out a wistful sigh.

"(y/n)... I am a gentleman, and you have had too much to drink."

"I assure you," you grin, turning the tables and ghosting a kiss over his knuckles, "I have not."

He spends a long time staring at you, debating mentally. You can feel him hardening in his breeches under you, but despite his uncomfortable expression and beading sweat, he doesn't make even the slightest nudge to meet your grinding movements.

"Are you quite certain?" he finally asks, interest beginning to spark again in his eyes as he realizes that maybe you do want him like this.

"All I want is to feel your lips on my neck," you confirm with a whisper in his ear, and he slots his large hand around your wrist, standing you up. The three others don't even question it as Laf leads you out the back door, and the once the heavy wooden door closes, you’re both free. He immediately presses the front of you right up against the brick, pulling your hair aside and grazing his teeth over the back of your neck.

"Then, if there are no reservations on either of our parts, I will give you everything you need," he growls, and continues his attack on your neck, showering kisses up and down. You flip around so that you can face him, and he pins you back again, opening up the neck of your dress just a little more for better access.

Lafayette's gaze is hungry. Your excitement is known to him as he reaches under your dress, unbuttons your underclothes and realizes you're already wet for him.

"So eager," he groans, "Such an eager little kitten, desperate for her papa, hm?"

"Oh," you sigh, his words sending pulses down to your core. He pulls your underclothes off, but as his long fingers are about to breach you, he pauses.

"You... have been touched or taken before, yes?"

You bite your lip, look around, and nod shyly. If word of that got out around here, you’d be off the market, as it were…. not that you particularly desired to on the market, but that was a different matter entirely. His face blossoms into a grin, and he lifts your legs up to wrap around him.

"Hold onto me, cherie, do not let go," he murmurs, and once your arms are secure around his neck as well, he uses one hand to unbutton his breeches. You can already see the outline of his large cock, and once he has everything undone, he pulls it out.

"Monsieur, you're so big," you whine, and he gazes at you, licking his lips.

"We can make it fit, ma cherie," he whispers, "Spread your legs a little wider for me... that is it, kitten... like that."

You keen under the pet name, and he positions himself at your entrance before finally pushing in, groaning together with you as you tighten around him.

"Oui, oui, yes..." he breathes, "That is good... so good for me..." He sucks his lip between his teeth, and after a few seconds, begins to move, nudging you back against the wall with each deep thrust. He's very large, so he has no trouble hitting that spot that drives you crazy, but he makes it even better when his fingers find your clit; Laf has a different approach than most men do, though- the select few you'd been with (if they make the effort to find it at all) rub with harsh, rough pushes... Lafayette massages you in slow circles, making you moan for him.

Leaning forward, the intensity between you increases as your foreheads meet, lips drifting close to each other and parting, almost kissing but not for minutes at a time. The teasing was getting to him, and he finally surges forward, breathing in your breath. You give his bottom lip a feisty bite, and he smiles, drawing away.

“You are a true northern belle, mademoiselle (y/n),” he mumbles, panting, “You are not like other ladies.”

“Oh, on the contrary sir,” you reply, “I simply don’t bother with the false customs. I say, fuck tradition, and fuck anybody who wishes to advise me otherwise.”

“There is a revolution on because of Americans who share your general mindset, ma chou,” he grins, and kisses you again.

As you both begin to race toward your climax, his thrusts increase, and you're soon being pounded into the wall, legs tight around his ass and cries being muffled in his blue coat.

“Please… ah, Laf….”

“(y/n), so perfect, j’aime votre parfum…”

As he whispers your name, you hear voices, and turn to see two men walking by the alley on the road, in hats and coats. They sound southern.

"What if th...th-" you gasp, and Laf strokes your cheek.

"They will not see us, it is too dark. Besides, why would anybody pay attention to a stray kitten, begging in an alley, like you?"

"Ah," you throb again at his dark laugh, and he shrugs.

"Also, the alleyway behind a tavern is where all the drunkards stumble out to vomit. No respectable man or woman wants to see that."

"What an arousing image," you scowl, and lean in for another kiss.

"You are so beautiful," he mumbles against your lips once you part, and licks a line up your neck to just below your ear; you're losing yourself to the pleasure. "Do you think you can come for me, ma (y/n)?" Laf rasps in your ear, stroking over your clit fondly, and you nod with a little whine, crying out his name softly as he slams in particularly hard. Circling his hips to guide you through a long orgasm, he lets out a little gasp of his own after you've finished. As you shake and pant his name, he sets you down carefully before quickly pulling out and taking himself in hand, jerking frantically a couple times and coming like a shot against the brick wall. Your name falls from his lips a few times like a prayer, and soon, you're both sated and exchanging lazy tongue kisses, tasting each other's mouths in the night air.

It's chillier than it was earlier. You should get home before your one of your sisters or father notices you're gone.

"When do you leave to join the ranks?" you ask, staring into his eyes. He does up his buttons precisely, patiently and one at a time.

"Very soon, I assume, cherie."

"How very childish of me, but... what you said, about having someone to look out for you..."

"Mmm?"

"Will you..." you look down, embarrassed, and take off a ring on your pinky finger. "Remember me over a couple beers with your friends?"

His eyes light up, and he presses a long kiss to your cheek.

"When I wake up and when I fall asleep, (y/n)."

You smile a little. "Thank you for your service."

He kisses your hand one last time. "If it takes fighting a war and, eh...” he leans in to your ear, brushing your hair back, “getting better acquainted behind a tavern to meet, it will, most certainly, have been worth it, ma chou," he smiles back.

You dance and sigh your way home, ignorant of every redcoat who gives you a second dirty look. With men like the Marquis de Lafayette and his friends leading the troops, those bastards’ll be back home where they belong in no time.

1K notes · View notes