#held the microphone stand between his legs for the first 30 minutes of the show like it was a d!ck

[plum-pitt]

Went to the Joji concert last night and I really didn’t know what I was expecting from the guy who dressed in a pink bodysuit and took a bath in uncooked ramen noodles for the whole world to see, but I will say that it definitely wasn’t them just pausing the whole show to start playing smash bros onstage.

[fuckingfuckityfuck]

First

A/N: Originally,this was supposed to be a story but then my drafts got deleted idek why or how.I tried to write it the way how I remembered it.Let me know your thoughts on this one.✨

Pairing/s : Jeffrey Dean Morgan x reader, Negan x reader

Warning/s: mentions of sex

Tomorrow will be my second week portraying one of Negan's wives on the walking dead.

My first scene was easy.I had one line and that was it.The rest was either me walking around or sitting pretty.

Jeffrey made sure that I was comfortable with him.That's why he decided to have sessions with me before doing the actual scenes.And you were fine with it.

The other casts and staffs were very friendly and fun to work with.They welcomed me with big open arms into their family.

Since this was your first ever show,Kirkman thought it would be fun experimenting with your character.

You knew how wild his imagination was and you were pretty excited with how your character is going to be portrayed.

He wanted your character to be lively and very sarcastic.He wanted you to have that power over Negan.Your character is Negan's favorite wife.

At first,it was hard to act intimidating infront of Jeffrey.Hell,you were intimidated by him.

A knock on the door pulled you away from your thoughts.I stood up and opened the door to see Jeffrey standing there with papers in his hands.

"Time for rehearsals?" He said and I mentally face palmed myself.

"Oh god." I muttered.

Jeffrey chuckled and patted my shoulders.

"I see,you're not the only one stressed out here.Angela wanted to know if you're fine with our next scene." He asked.

And I totally forgot the most important thing.My love making scene with Jeffrey will be tonight.

"What's wrong with me and my memory today.I totally forgot that it's today." I said and Jeffrey laughed.

"I feel like you're the old one here and not me." He joked and I nervously laughed.

"Why don't we get inside and start our rehearsal?That way we can discuss our scene?" Jeffrey continued and I nodded at his suggestion,which is good.

Mostly,for our scenes,I just follow his lead.I told him that and he knows.

She couldn't believe the rage building inside her.She wasn't acting like herself but she couldn't stop the words coming out from her mouth.

For some reason,she wanted to test how far Negan would go.

Twirling around to grab the door knob,she heard a slam on the table.

"Don't you even fucking dare leave this room without fixing the shit you caused" Negan angrily said in a loud voice.

Holy shit,calm yourself y/n.Just like you practiced,you will be fine.

Breathing heavily,you slowly turned around to see Negan glaring up at you.

"Can't you just let me go?You said it yourself that if we don't feel like we belong here anymore,then we can just go.There are walkers everywhere,Negan." You said in a low voice,not wanting to increase the tension building between you two.

"That's the real threat,not me walking away from your overprotective and jealous ass.I just don't get why you have to punish every single man who comes across me?It's not like I'll cheat on you or anything." You continued explaining to him.

It was starting to frustrate you everytime you hear someone gets a hot iron on their face or a lash on their back just because Negan apparently saw them checking you out.

"I don't even know if this is marriage to you,it clearly isn't one.We're supposed to be partners.Not you owning me,telling me to just be here when I fully know that I can be out there too.Earlier,what I did,I had to prove to myself that I can do it too.And I did." You said and saw his eyes soften a little bit.

Slowly,Negan stood up from the couch and went to stand in front of you.

You felt his hand on your chin,tilting your head up so he could look at your face.

You saw his eyes glimmer with humor and lust?

"So you want us to be like a normal married couple?Not this apocalyptic survival mode marriage?Do I have to bring you breakfast in bed?" Negan mumbled and you wanted to punch him right there and then.

"I can't even talk to you properly.You always have these crazy ass jokes.Am I a joke to you?"

"Oh kitten,you are not a joke to me.You are my lifeline.Jokes aside,i also happen to love your pussy.Which brings me to ask,what time does your pussy open?" Negan said as he put his hand on your waist,pulling you closer to him.You giggled and looked up at him.

And that's where you lost it.You pulled his face and kissed him hungrily.Following the script,Jeffrey held your face between his hands.You felt his tongue on your lips,asking for permission.

You moaned out when you felt his hand on your waist,going lower to your ass.

Negan growled when he felt your hand on his growing bulge.He missed her like hell.

Being able to do this with her after being gone for weeks makes him want to slam his dick in her wet pussy right there and then.

But he needs to feel her,touch her,savor every inch of her body that he missed.

"God,i fucking miss this,kitten." Negan mumbled while trying to unclasp your bra.

With one movement,he pulled down your bra,leaving your chest bare for him to see.

Negan wasted no time and went to suck one of your boobs,his left hand playing with the other one.Your hands are tugging at his hair,feeling a wet sensation pooling between your legs.

"Negan,please" You moaned out,forcing him down to your legs.

Jeffrey looked up at you,at that moment,you didn't know what to feel when you saw his face.You wanted to pounce on him,feel him between you,slamming his huge dick in a hard thrust of his hips.You totally forgot that you were just filming a scene.

"I love it when you say my name like that,makes me want to ram my big,fat,juicy cock inside your wet little cunt.Do you want that?" Negan growled while fondling with the hem of your panties.

You nodded,not having the voice to speak out.You just wanted to lay down and let him have his way on you.

"Fuck,you're already dripping wet on my fingers and that's just me playing with your delicious breasts" Negan said as he put one finger inside of you.

Good lord,as much as you wanted him to pounce on you,there were people everywhere.You can feel everyone's eyes at the both of you.But here's Jeffrey not even caring about anyone.

"Cut! Next scene we'll have you lay down on Negan's bed.Take a break for 30 minutes." Greg yelled using a microphone.

People shuffled around,leaving you and Jeffrey alone.

"That was hot"Jeffrey said as he threw you a bathrobe while putting his over his body.

You rolled your eyes and chuckled.

"I hope i looked fine.I feel like my hair's everywhere.We still have to do the main scene and that's where I'm worried most." You said.

Jeffrey shook his head."You look absolutely stunning with your hair all over the place.You look like you're about to get fucked"

You sighed.

It was hard to pretend that it's not affecting you,but it does.Every scene that you do with him,gets harder for you.You just hoped that no one would notice.Even Jeffrey.

masterlist

[raulsparza]

Moby Dick: A Musical Reckoning: 1.2.2020 ~Thoughts~

Alright so I loved it. There were parts I felt unsure about throughout, and there are parts I would alter or cut, but it felt like a malloysical and I was captivated the entire time. I was a little worried it would drag because 3 ½ hours is a good hour longer than any other show I’ve seen but it definitely didn’t. I would have happily sat in that theater for another two hours. Unfortunately, my biggest gripe was with the microphones. I feel like I missed a fair amount of what the cast was saying and I’m glad I had my knowledge from reading the book to fall back on.

Bullet point thoughts for each part under the cut, because this became too long 

Prologue:

-        Opening with the Jonah and the whale story rocks. We are all in the belly of the whale. Made the audience part of the show immediately. Let’s get on the Pequod together why don’t we.

-        Manik Choksi stepped onstage, wearing a baggy water-splashed jacket, and I was hooked. He was the perfect Ishmael and I had that thought no less than 30 times throughout the show. Perfect casting. Perfect man.

-        First we got a little introduction into the history of the theater and the book itself. The show broke the fourth wall often, critiquing both Herman Melville’s writing and the state of the world as it stands today. Sometimes this felt a little on-the-nose (my friend reflected she would have liked more show-don’t-tell tactics) but it’s also an interesting way to be a critical consumer of media while still enjoying the original story. The Melville bust and the physical book Moby Dick were both on stage the entire show.

Part 1:

-        And then, “Call me Ishmael” – chills. It’s a damp drizzly November in his soul and we are heading off to sea.

-        Starbuck, Stubb, and Flask had this wonderful repeating joke where each of them had to say the other two names any time they all interacted and it was good fun. Each shipmate got introduced, perhaps a little quickly but they all did develop further later. Queequeg even said he would get his own song in a bit.

-        Queequeg’s own song really did not work for me. It was a bit too campy. It followed Ishmael’s strong desire to not share a bed with a cannibal in the book, but it was still goofy. I keep going back and forth on how goofy I am comfortable with the first half of the show being, to really contrast it with the darker later half, but this song was a bit much for me. It ended with some great cuddling, and I would have liked some quiet dialogue between Ishmael and Queequeg while they were holding each other in bed.

-        Tom Nelis as Ahab KILLED IT. (well the show, not the whale). He looked like an absolute corpse of a man in respectable captain garb. The physical acting he did to walk and sit with his ivory leg was astounding.

-        I honestly just really loved the casting for this show. I could make a separate point for everyone. But Starr Busby as Starbuck really needs her own point. She was commanding and human and torn and excellent.

-        DEATH TO MOBY DICK! Intense green lights and music as Ahab touched the lances and then poured shots into the harpoons. It was exciting! It was only border-line concerning. We are descending, but we have not yet descended.

Five minute pause:

-        Manik made eye contact with me

-        He picked volunteers for part 2. I was not picked to be a volunteer but he sure did pick the guy right next to me and told him he could “tell your friend all about it!” so Manik also talked about me

Part 2:

-        Audience volunteers were ushered onto the stage and adorned in red ponchos as they were warned of a splash zone.

-        Cetology was perfect. I unironically enjoyed this notoriously terrible book chapter so you bet your ass I shared Ishmael’s child-like excitement as he named all the whales that cast members brought out in puppet-form. This song could have been longer. It could have been much longer. It became a running joke to cut Ishmael off when he was about to go on a tangent and I just want to live in a world where Manik is given the time and space to infodump eight hours of whale anatomy to me and me alone.

-        Then four little boats on wheels came up out of the stage and the audience volunteers were each rounded up by a cast member and put in a boat. This took a bit of time (honestly, as fun as the volunteers are, I could see this being where the show would be shortened first) but I had a stupid grin on my face the whole time and the boats went around the stage, commanded by the crew with harpoons at the ready.

-        Stubb killed a whale and the use of puppetry here was my favorite in the show. A whale made of crumpled plastic water bottles was brought to center stage and took it’s last shuddering breaths. Someone crouched inside the puppet to make it breathe shallow and raspy, and to spray some ‘blood’ in the direction of the audience volunteers.

-        Fedallah broke the fourth wall and gave a wonderful critique of the Melville’s inability to give this character any depth. Again, this teetered between good exploration and on-the-nose preaching for me. It’s clear we are not just watching a Moby Dick adaptation, but we are also part of an important literary critique. Would all of the critique have been better off in the prologue, or is it useful to interrupt the flow of the story for this sort of discussion? I’m still not sure. The more I think about it, the more I liked it woven in the story because it’s reflective of how we end up consuming media, but it caught me off guard at first because it’s unusual in a setting where characters are delivering a story. Again, maybe that’s a good thing.

-        The whale as a dish was stupidly fun. Lots of props for whale parts and buckets of blood and a very enthusiastic Stubb. Kalyn West was bouncy and limber and was very adept at dealing with her pipe the whole time. Another example of a goofy song to contrast the darkness later. I enjoyed it a lot.

-        Cast and volunteers then all sat in a circle around the stage and squeezed some sperm. Queequeg waved Ishmael over to sit next to him and they shot each other cute glances during the song.

-        The Pequod met the Bachelor and the sailors danced on the platform right next to me. Dawn Troupe shook my hand at the end of it bless

-        Tashtego and Daggoo sat up in the crow’s nest and interpreted whale song. Some of their dialogue felt stilted but Tash had a beautiful song.

-        Starbuck confronting Ahab and then Ahab pulling a gun on Starbuck…INTENSE. Man, Starbuck really shined for me here.

Intermission:

-        Shout out to the crew members that have to mop up whale blood for this 15 minute chunk of time

Part 3:

-        We’re in Pip hours babey. Maybe I would have liked Pip’s character to have been developed more before this part. It was developed retrospectively throughout part 3 but some sprinkling of Pip in 1 and 2 could have worked for me.

-        I’ve seen better analyses of tambourine than I could write rn so I’m not gonna get too deep into it. But, I agree that the race elements could have been handled different? Better? Get Dave a co-writer maybe? The thing about gender was odd to me. I’m also curious about the cast’s thoughts on this one. I ALSO agree that this song slaps. It’s been the one most consistently stuck in my head. And Morgan Siobhan Green’s acting/dancing/writhing really stood out to me.

-        Loved Pip in the whaleboat while the rest of the cast billowed a big blue sheet in the middle of the stage. The song about Pip being left behind in the water was haunting.

Part 4:

-        Part 4 was by far my favorite. Holy shit. This part felt the most uniform and really solidified the show for me as Good Theater. If there was a way to preserve some of the goofiness from part 2 but also develop the characters throughout in the way they were treated in part 4, that would be ideal. Like I REALLY loved part 4.

-        Got some good Queequeg and Ishamel moments here. I am disappointed their relationship wasn’t highlighted even more. Other than their songs, they held hands center stage together at one point (during Fedallah’s prophecy I think?). Which like, fine, but also Melville married them so that could have happened too.

-        “No one grew into anything new, we just became the worst of what we were.” Well dAMN. Excellent summation of the story right there. Ishmael kept repeating this haunting line, and then it kept repeating in my head till the end. Perfect.

-        Sextet rocked so hard everyone had a different conflict they were working out and different musical themes and Starbuck shined because Starbuck shined the whole time but wow I loved it. Ahab is all focused on a new leg and harpoon, meanwhile Queequeg is sick and only Ishmael is helping him. And Stubb and Flash hanging off the crow’s nest saying in dissonant unison “shall we lower Mr. Starbuck” really highlighted Starbuck’s great desire to not lower. *Chef’s kiss*

-        And y’all. When they chased Moby Dick. Three ropes came out of the front of the stage that they all pulled on and big BRIGHT lights (think Anatole in great comet) shown into the audience. There was slow motion rope pulling as the cast swayed and struggled. It was so visually beautiful and it worked so well.

-        And then I wanted to hug Ishmael but I want to do that a lot.

Bottom line, this was not a favorite of mine and I think it still needs some restructuring and rewriting to really be coherent and final, but I enjoyed it a lot. The pit and crew and cast and design team all worked incredibly hard. This must have been a marathon for the performers! I have a lot more thoughts that are still developing, which I also like. I want to leave a theater and continuing thinking about the show. I’m excited to see how this musical reckoning might change over time.

[siyeonjisoo]

Oookay.  Long post in-coming.  TL:DR is I saw the GazettE yesterday and while it was a really fucking long day, IT WAS AMAZING AND ALL WORTH IT AND I LOVE THEM AND MY FRIENDS <3 <3 <3

SO my day started at 3:50am when I woke up.  got on a train at 5:17 in the morning to get to NYC by 7.  I ended up being the 34th person in line.  The folks at the front of the line had come straight from Dallas and started lining up at 4am which is both insane but awesome.  I was waiting for the discord friends to show up and was the second one to show up.  the line was originally along the front entrance of the building and all mixed.  The business on the corner, however, really hates the lines being in front of their entrance so we actually got split from VIP and GA really early.  I think it was like 9am when that happened and all of us who are familiar with how shit Playstation staff’s organization usually is were shook.

My friends and I had a great time hanging out all day long so I got no complaints, even though I sat my ass on a sidewalk in Times Square for 10 hours yesterday.  We had ourselves organized and knew we were gonna be fine but Playstation staff showed their true identities by trying to fuck with it all day long.  We all got in several shouting matches of them just going on power trips and us trying to explain that they don’t have to worry about us.

I also painted my nails at some point in line haha

Because we were so damn close to the doors, we could hear soundcheck from outside.  They played Zetsu, Shadow VI II I, Sumire, and Bathroom and I was fucking crying so much then.  Those were the first tears of the day, I think, but nowhere near the last.  We were all freaking out over it.

A little bit after that, I went on a trip to use the bathroom (which was the last time I think I went before I got home at 2am lol.  Held anything from like 3pm till then).  We were going to the Hardrock Cafe for that so we had to walk from the alley tunnel where the VIP lines were around the block past the main entrance of Playstation.  A staff member came walking out just as a car was pulling up with 3 men in the backseat.  They all had light blonde hair and masks on.  Staff hurriedly ushered them inside.  I saw the eyes of one of the guys and I swear to god that it may have been Kai.  It was after the soundcheck so unless staff did the soundcheck for them, they went out for lunch after and I saw them when they came back.  Which is possible.  So yeah, that may have happened.

We were allowed to go inside starting around 6:30 so we started organizing ourselves into the number order we had around 5 just so we could be ready when staff started letting us in.  I was standing from 5pm then until like 9:45, after the concert ended.  At 6:10, they started organizing us by letting us snake through to get our VIP bands and (if you were Heresy) other bracelets.  We got like 25 people through that way and it was taking REALLY long so they gave up on that and sent the first bunch through.  Because a lot of people weren’t there (either were GA given a # by accident or just not there) I ended up being within the first 20 to get inside.

I hit up the merch table to get a Reita bear and because of that, lost the chance to get the barricade but I still was in the 3rd row on the side that I wanted to be on.  It was around 7 by then and we were all just waiting for everyone to get in.  I talked with all the people around me and we all had a great time.  At 8:02, the concert started.

Here is the setlist:

99.999

Falling

NINTH ODD SMELL

GUSH

Vortex

Venomous Spider's Web

THE MORTAL

SONO KOE WA MOROKU

DOGMA

The Suicide Circus

INCUBUS

UGLY

ABHOR GOD

Filth in the Beauty

encore

INSIDE BEAST

Cockroach

Tomorrow Never Dies

I managed to keep my spot in front of Reita in the 3rd row for the entire show, only moving like an inch or two away from center, toward Aoi.  By the time Vortex happened, I definitely was not standing on my own feet but was being held up by the crowd and swaying all around with them.  I had one foot on the ground to keep me, well, grounded, and was just being pushed back and forth with the crowd from then on.  I don’t think I have been that covered in sweat in my entire life.  My shirt was fucking drenched, thank goodness it was a thick material so the white didn’t become transparent at least haha.

The folks directly behind me were holding onto my shoulders and back to balance while headbanging and that pushed me forward and backward so I was headbanging better so thanks fam!

I also got a punch in the eye at one point and this was the thought process of my reaction (over the span of like 2 seconds):  "oh no, i'm a daycare teacher! I can't have a black eye!" then "fuck it, I'm at a concert I don't care" then "wait it didn't even hurt that much why was I so dramatic".  There was no damage and I was just being dramatic so enjoy laughing at me.

I was right in front of Reita so I got lots of him.  He stuck his tongue out while making eye contact with me at one point.  I saw heaven in that moment.  He also kept doing this weird little waving thing with his hand throughout and it was really fucking cute and made me laugh while doing it back at him.

Ruki would also hop up in the area right in front of us, right on the edge of the stage, and after the first time he came there, I was on that one foot until the main set ended.  Seeing Ruki’s dorky dancing in person, that close, is so funny.  I laughed so hard every single time he did his little chicken neck dance thing.  Can’t take him seriously when he does that.

Aoi was teasing all of us and being a handsome man.  He also attempted to turn Sono Koe wo Moroku into a sexy song with how he was dancing there.

Kai and Uruha were on their side of the stage the entire time and I couldn’t see either of them very well but every time I did, they were breathtakingly beautiful and seemed to be having so much fun.

Main set ended around 9:08.  We chanted back and forth between encore and gazetto for like 11 or 12 minutes before they came back on.

Aoi and Reita stayed in their costumes while Kai and Uruha had changed into tour shirts.  URUHA LOOKED SO FUCKING SEXY IN HIS BECAUSE he had cut the sleeves off and the collar so it was a low v-neck style.  Made his choker necklace stand out even more and HOLY FUCK IS THAT MAN SEXY.  Kai took his microphone and yelled at us in English about how fucking awesome we were and it was so nice hearing him curse for some reason.  I can’t explain why it was so nice to hear but it was.  After that, they started a slightly elongated instrumental intro to Inside Beast before Ruki came out on stage and he also had not changed out of his costume.

The only time that Uruha came past the center onto my side was during Inside Beast I think.  The only words I could think at that moment were “oh my god, that man is so beautiful”.

I knew that Tomorrow Never Dies was going to be the last song they played so as soon as Ruki started saying “last”, I started feeling like I was going to cry.  But the problem with that was the fact that I had sweated out so much liquid that I had no tears.  So I sobbed but without tears throughout that entire song.  After that song, Aoi, Uruha, and Reita threw their pics into the crowd.  One of Aoi’s landed like a foot or two to my left but either someone caught it and didn’t tell anyone or it got lost cause no one claimed to have caught it after.

Kai had his phone and took a picture from behind his drumset.  I think it was a selfie with us in the background.  Then he came down to the front, smiley as ever, and took some more pics of just us.  I found myself.  I’m in the purple circle here

We then all went up to the chairs in the back to wait for it to be M&G time.  I would have been fine if my day had ended there, honestly, because it had already been amazing.  But no, there was still more.  It was like 9:30/9:40 when they started clearing the rows to go through.  I was surprisingly calm about it because I was concentrating on my promise to a friend.  She was behind me in line and I had promised to get Aoi to wish her a happy birthday since it is today, the day after the concert.  So I focused on that and making sure I could say that to him instead of freaking out over anything else.

so the order was Aoi, Reita, Ruki, Kai, Uruha.  one by one, here is what happened.

Aoi: he takes my hands and thanks me in English.  I thank him in Japanese while marveling in how SOFT his hands are.  Then I tell him, again in Japanese, about it being my friends bday tomorrow and asking him to say something.  He looks at her and grins and nods to me.  Reita is staring at me now and I almost froze having both of them looking straight at me at the same time.

Reita: I hand to him the card I wrote for all of them and he takes it while saying, in English, “For me?” and he sounded so cute.  I corrected him and said it was for all of them and he nodded and thanked me, in Japanese, and I thanked him too.  I kinda didn’t even notice that he wasn’t looking at me with two eyes because I was in so much shock.

Ruki: He gave me the softest smile as he took my hand in both of his.  I thanked him and almost couldn’t let go of his hands.  Not because of me, but because of him not wanting to let go.  I think he saw my tattoo when we shook hands which makes me happy.

Kai: THIS MAN IS SO SWEET.  I thanked him while we shook hands and this is kinda when I started losing my mind.  I let go of his hands kinda fast but I told him, in Japanese, that he has an amazing smile and he tilted his head and smiled at me.  Like just at me and my legs almost gave out under me.

Uruha: His hands.  They are so big.  And so soft.  AND HE IS SO FUCKING HOT.  I had completely lost my mind by then so he said thank you in English and I just couldn’t say anything else but thank you in English.  My brain was goop.

I walked away from Uruha on shaky legs, got my VIP little towel, and then collapsed against a wall and started sobbing.  11 and a half years waiting for an opportunity to thank them, face-to-face, finally brought to an end last night and it all just crashed down on me in that moment.

My friend who was behind me came out crying and came straight to give me a hug and we just hugged and cried for almost a minute, just standing there.  Aoi had wished her a happy birthday, as expected, but Reita did too.  That’s why he had been staring at me while I spoke to Aoi lol.

I just wandered around with my friends inside the venue, trying to keep from sobbing completely because ain’t nobody need that kind of attention from a venue’s staff.

My friends all parted ways to go back to their respective Airbnbs or hotels while I started my lonely walk back to Penn station.  But I was still kinda crying so I scanned the crowd of people also walking in that direction until I found people I recognized to be from this concert.  Caught up with them and asked if I could walk with them for a little bit so I wouldn’t be a girl walking through the city, alone, crying, at night.  We ended up stopping to get food together and chatting for like an hour before I had to head off to catch my train.

I cried literally off and on the entire way home.  On the train, walking from train to car, driving home, every step of the way.  I ended up being awake for a solid 22, almost 23, hours yesterday.  My throat is still sore today.  My neck hurts so much.  My heart is so full of emotions that I am still so close to crying at any moment.  All of the stress about the semester up until now? Worth it.  All of my worries about finals? Gone.  I met and spoke with (in Japanese) the human beings who inspired me to start learning Japanese in the first place.  I will be graduating from college in 13 days as both a member of Sigma Tau Delta and cum laude.  Not to be overdramatic or cringey or anything but I know for a fact that I would not be at this point in my life if I hadn’t found this band when I was 11.5 years old.  11.5 years later, this is what my life is like.  I have the money to afford to MEET them.  And the opportunity for it.  Life can change so much.  Like, if anyone ever needs a reminder that “it get’s better” this is it!

The first goal was just to see them in concert.  That was ticked off the list in 2016 at their first world tour.  The second was to meet them and be able to say “thank you” to them in person.  That was ticked off the list last night.  The new goal? get them all to autograph my arm, under where I have their logo, so I can get that tattooed as well.  My entire left arm is going to be dedicated to bands that have shaped who I am so there will also be Miyavi tattoos and maybe even some Berryz Koubou tattoos there one day but for now, the goal is their autographs.  So look out for that.

Also, check out all of my beautiful and lovely friends.  I love them all so much and miss you all already!! (I’m the blondie grinning like a dork because I was so happy!)

[nosecrinklewrites]

Human Disaster Kylo

part 1 – part 2 – part 3 – part 4 – part 5

Kylo woke up slowly. The light in his apartment was always bright in the morning. He groaned quietly and stretched his limbs until they were hanging off the sides of his bed.

Kylo didn't have a lot of days off. He wasn't supposed to, but he usually worked six days a week, always covering for whoever needed him to take their shift. Being alone wasn't something Kylo was good at.

Despite being awake, Kylo stayed in his bed for as long as he could. Phone cradled in his hands, he cycled through his social media apps, not leaving the bed before his bladder started to ache. Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, he hissed at the cold carpet under his toes.

Kylo's apartment was small. The distance from bed to bathroom was only a few steps. After relieving himself, he pulled his fringe into a small tail at the top of his head.

Kylo climbed back into bed and dug around his bedding, looking for the book he left there a few days before. Concentrating enough to read a book wasn't something Kylo had been able to do in a long, long time; but it didn't mean he didn't try.

He pulled out his copy of Jurassic Park from underneath a pillow. He'd read it a million times as a kid. The once sharp paperback corners were worn round and soft from all of the bags Kylo had kept it in over the years. In the end, he just flipped through the pages, ball of frustration settling in his gut.

Kylo's phone pinged from its spot on the floor, where it was charging. It was a text from his dad. They didn't see each other as much as they used to, but Han always made an effort to check up on him regularly.

Kylo was still in the process of composing a text that conveyed that he was okay, but without lying too much, when the phone started ringing.

The display said Sir.

Kylo panicked for a long moment, not breathing, not moving, eyes locked on the display. With a thumb that trembled more than he'd like to admit, Kylo swiped across the screen and held it to his ear.

”Hello?” his voice made an awful croaking sound.

”Kylo? You alright?”

Kylo cleared his throat and closed his eyes tightly, swallowing down his panic. ”Yeah, just– Haven't spoken yet.”

Hux was quiet for a moment before asking, ”Am I disturbing you?”

”No, no, you're fine,” Kylo's voice still sounded off, and about an octave deeper than normal. ”Do you need anything?”

”Oh, good. I'm calling about the lecture. My lecture. That is if you'd still like to come?”

Oh. Kylo opened his eyes. Hux sounded … uncertain?

”I– I'm actually pretty excited about it.”

Hux was quiet again. ”Oh.” He cleared his throat. ”Well that's– Okay. It's on Thursday. Starts around 4. I'll be there around 3:30. They made me make a powerpoint presentation,” Hux huffed in clear anoyance. ”And we have to make sure it works.”

”You don't use powerpoints?” Kylo smiled a little.

”God, no. I'm not an amateur! They didn't need powerpoints in the eleventh century, why would we need them now?”

Kylo frowned. ”I … I think you have to walk me through that.”

Hux laughed.

”The first universities were founded in the eleventh century.”

”Oh. Cool.”

For fucksake, Kylo.

”I mean– That's– That's a long time? Is that the middle ages?”

”It is.” Kylo could hear the fondness in Hux's voice. ”Anyway, I just wanted to make sure you had enough time to make arrangements, in case you were working that day. I can text you the directions to the lecture hall, if you'd like? You said you haven't been on campus before?”

”I haven't.”

”I'll make sure you can find it. If you show up a bit early, I can even direct you to the best seat in person.”

Kylo blushed, not entirely sure why.

”Anyway, don't let me disturb you any longer, I'm sure you have things to do.”

”I really don't,” Kylo said. He looked at the general state of his apartment. It wasn't great, but it had been worse. A lot worse.

”Oh, well, regardless – I should let you go. I have a class soon and showing up late sets a bad example. I'll see you on Thursday?”

Kylo nodded. ”You will. I'll see you too.”

”Have a good day, Kylo,” Hux laughed softly.

”You too, sir.”

When the call disconnected, Kylo threw his phone to the other end of the bed and dug the heels of his hands into his eyes. ”Fuck,” he groaned.

Kylo dug the phone back out of the sheets and pulled up the text to his dad. He deleted what he'd typed and called him instead, pulling his covers up over his head.

”Hey, kid.”

”Hey, dad.”

–

Kylo had had to stop by his dad's house to pick up a dress shirt. Getting the shirt back to his apartment on his bicycle had been a challenge. It was wrinkled to hell, and had been hanging in his bathroom for two days, while he tried to get the wrinkles out with the steam from the shower.

Wearing nice clothes wasn't something Kylo had to deal with in his daily life, so all his nice clothes were at his dad's house, where he'd left them when he moved out.

Kylo hoped Hux wouldn't mind that the dress shirt was the only nice part of his outfit. He had washed his best jeans and even combed his hair, but the ride from his apartment to campus, had ruffled him a little. Kylo didn't own a car; he rode his bike everywhere.

Hux's directions were perfect (of course) and Kylo easily found the lecture hall. He was a good twenty minutes early, in the hopes that he could find a corner to wait in while his sweat dried a bit. Before he even got the chance to look for a corner, he heard his name being called. Without his glasses, Kylo couldn't quite see to the end of the hall, so he stayed where he was, as the figure came close enough to reveal themself as Hux.

There must have been something wrong with the lights in the hallway, because Hux looked young. Really young.

”Hello, Kylo,” he said, slightly breathless. ”Did you find it alright?”

”I– Yeah,” Kylo nodded. ”Your directions were very clear.”

”Well, I didn't want you to get lost.” Hux kept rubbing his hands down the front of his three-piece suit, smoothing out wrinkles that weren't there.

Hux was nervous.

Kylo didn't know what to say.

Luckily, he didn't need to. Someone called for Hux, sounding quite urgent. Hux waved over his shoulder and looked at Kylo. ”I saved you a seat,” he said and motioned for Kylo to follow him.

The lecture hall was big. Bigger than Kylo thought it'd be. Classical music was playing softly over the speakers. Hux led him to the far side of the front row, where there were five empty seats. The hall was already full to bursting, people standing around and speaking quietly.

”Please, sit,” Hux said, gesturing to a seat. ”We've had some problems with the microphones, but hopefully we will begin shortly.”

Hux was gone by the time Kylo knew how to reply. He looked around the room. It looked like he'd imagined a history department lecture hall would look. Kylo didn't stick out as much as he'd feared. A lot of the people looked like he did. Some were dressed nicely, like Hux was, but a lot of them looked like they came straight from class.

A group of girls were sitting in the row right behind Kylo, talking quietly between them. They sounded excited. Kylo had a hard time understanding the excitement. Sure, seeing Hux was exciting, but the lecture as a whole, wasn't what Kylo was looking forward to.

The music cut off suddenly and a man took the stage. He introduced himself and the other professors, along with the topics they'd be covering individually. They were shown a few photos from the archaeological dig where they'd found the ship the lecture was based on.

The photos were terrible, but the professor looked very excited. Kylo figured the professor took the photos himself.

Intellectually, Kylo could appreciate the information he was recieving, but the man was terrible dull. The way he spoke wasn't engaging at all, and he feared he might actually nod off before the end of this thing.

He didn't get to worry for long. Hux took the stage like a knight in shining armor. He strolled across the floor, pulled off his jacket and hung it over the back of a chair.

The girl in the seat behind Kylo inhaled sharply.

Hux took his place at the front of the podium and clasped his hands behind his back.

Kylo knew Hux would be good.

He didn't know Hux would be this good. Kylo was floored by Hux's performance – and that's what it was; a performance.

His voice was loud and clear, every word eloquent and to the point. He weaved a story that tied in perfectly with the oil paintings in the dreaded powerpoint. Kylo barely noticed the slides change, because Hux didn't need them.

Hux's words painted a picture so clear, no painting, photo, or video could ever do it justice. He used his hands and moved freely – almost casually – across the podium. He looked every person in the room in the eye, at least once. Kylo couldn't stop himself from hanging onto every word – even the ones he didn't understand.

The whole thing was over much too soon. The room erupted in applause when Hux was done speaking. Hux even bowed for them.

He looked endlessly pleased – and relieved. Once the jacket was back on, Hux left the stage and took the seat next to Kylo.

Kylo tensed up, not expecting that sequence of events. However, next professor in the line-up began speaking before Hux even sat down, so he didn't have to worry about smalltalk.

With Hux's lecture on repeat in his mind, Kylo found himself enjoying the rest of the lecture. It was interesting, all of it. Kylo hoped Hux would have time to talk afterwards. He found himself with a lot of questions he'd like Hux explain to him.

When the whole thing was over, it hadn't felt like two hours at all.

”What did you think?” Hux asked quietly, seemingly not in a hurry to get up or leave.

”I don't– I don't think I have the words,” Kylo muttered.

”That bad, huh?” Hux said, eyes turned to the front.

”I knew you were good, but that? Holy fuck, Hux. I'm pretty sure the girl behind me wet herself.”

Hux covered his mouth and tried very hard not to laugh. The laughter still made its way through his fingers and Hux hit Kylo's shoulder.

Kylo blushed and rubbed his arm where Hux had touched him. ”You were really, really good, sir.”

”Oh my God,” Hux breathed deeply and wiped his eyes. ”I doubt anyone wet themselves. But thank you.”

They looked at each other for a long moment, before being interrupted. ”Hux!” one of the professors called. ”You coming with us? You can bring your friend!”

Hux looked at Kylo apoligetically. ”We usually go out to eat after these things. You don't have to come if you don't want to.”

Kylo shrugged, feigning indifference. ”Haven't eaten yet.”

Hux smiled.

part 7

(also on ao3)

[thejinichan]

Under the Circumstances Ch. 3

It was raining lightly, and the air was hazy with humidity when Yakko finally left work at 11pm. Furiously, he kicked at a crumpled-up tin can on the sidewalk. It barely moved an inch. With 1 more swift thrust of his shoe, it was sent sailing across the road hitting the curb. “Why had I agreed to come in early?” He thought angrily. Feeling bitter, he cursed at himself for thinking that today would be any different than the norm. Any positive thoughts that he had were now far gone from his mind.

The French doors at the entrance of the restaurant had chimed loudly when Yakko arrived early just as his boss instructed. As in typical fashion, Abbey stood stoically by the far side of the bar, checking her watch to make sure he was on time. Putting a hand up to his mouth, the warner did his best to suppress a snicker. “Typical.” He chuckled to himself. If an employee did not show up at least ten minutes early before a shift, Abigail would usually have words to say. She could be such a hard ass sometimes. Yakko always wondered if she was that stiff outside work too. Maybe if she had a drink every now and then with the others at closing she’d loosen up a bit.

Standing on the other side of the bar, and wiping martini glasses, Minerva Mink beckoned Yakko over in a sweet sultry voice, her head cocked down seductively. “Hey Handsome!” Minerva did very well being a bartender, and she used her looks and charm to her advantage. She had been the highest tip earner in the joint for years.

Yakko’s ears twitched from the sound of the mink’s voice. Happy to see a familiar face, he waltzed over to the bar and hopped up on the nearest stool.  Leaning over the side of the marble counter, he rested his head on his gloved hands. “How was your day off yesterday gorgeous?”

“I went shopping! Minerva bragged, batting her long eyelashes. “And check out this new necklace I got! Isn’t it pretty?” She pulled down the front of her red shirt, showing an ample amount of cleavage, with a single diamond pendant hanging between her chest.

“Well ain’t that the breast-er, I mean best.” Yakko stammered. Minerva was always flirting with him; she knew how to push his buttons. As attractive as he found her though, she wasn’t his type. Not that it stopped her relentless attempts to seduce him. Minerva enjoyed the game, and just seeing with how far she could take things with him. Yakko didn’t really mind, although he sometimes found it difficult to control himself in the face of such.. ahem, curves. Nevertheless, he had a lot of respect for her. She had been a good friend to both him and his siblings over the years.

The mink tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, smirking playfully. “Glad you like it.” Abruptly, Minerva turned towards the bar to put the glasses she had been cleaning on the shelf. Her golden blonde tail swished up into his face in the process.

It tickled his snout, and a flustered Yakko hastily batted her tail away while rubbing his nose. “You don’t know when to give up do you?”

“I can’t help it.” She cooed. “It ain’t easy being me.”

“So you remind me, almost every other day.” Yakko said sarcastically with a raised brow. “I gotta clock in though, save me a bubbly one for later eh? If there’s anything left after the big bash that is.” Yakko eyed his boss from the side as she gave him a disgruntled look. “Time to boogey.”

“Will do Mr Warner.” Minerva winked, blowing him a kiss as he left the dining area, to the kitchen.

Yakko hadn’t even finished buttoning up his vest when Abigail had snuck up behind him. Didn’t this human know what personal space was? He’d considered planting a giant kiss on her face when she was sneaky to throw her off, but he knew that would not fly with her. Humans could be so reserved sometimes. They needed to learn to let things go once in a while.

“Good to see you came in early.” Abbey said in her monotone voice, in probably the closest attempt she’d ever get to a compliment. “We are expecting a full house tonight.”

“And just how are we going to fit a whole house inside this place?” Yakko replied grinning widely, twisting himself around to face his boss. “Unless your planning on doing some remodeling I’m not aware of?”

Just as the toon expected, his boss sighed. How could she manage a restaurant for toons and not be able to handle a joke or two? It was almost sad.

“I should know better by now.” Abbey remarked, pushing her glasses up. “By full house, I mean half the restaurant is booked for a 30th birthday party. For an Erica.”

“So, by nights end, this Erica will be a drunken mess, blubbering about how old she is now and how her life is over.” Yakko leaned up against the lockers and procured a tiny violin between his thumb and index finger. It played in a high-pitched, off key melody.

Abbey’s face twitched in agitation, and she snatched the violin from Yakko’s fingers, breaking It instantly. “Always the comedian, aren’t you?”

Yakko merely raised a brow. “Don’t worry boss, I won’t be throwing no pity party.”

Not much later, Erica’s family began arriving, rushing about and setting décor out. The far side of the restaurant, adjacent to the stage had been cordoned off for the occasion. Atop the stage, sat a large shiny black grand piano. Yakko’s fingers glided over the keys, as he gave it a quick tune before the festivities began. He felt content, listening to the soft melody that rose. Out of any place to be in the restaurant, this had to be his favorite.  In those moments, as he sang and played a song, he’d find himself transported to a time when he was truly happy. It was all too easy for Yakko to get lost in moments like those.  

The birthday girl had arrived, in all her glory and splendour at 7 on the dot. If Yakko hadn’t known how old she was, he would have never guessed her for 30. Long dark hair, and a foxy smile, in a slinky white dress that hugged her figure in all the right places. She walked gracefully to the head of the table in a pair of silver strappy heals, as the crowd erupted in applause.

Yakko took her by the hand kissed it. “Hellooooo Nurse!” He chimed “And a Happy Birthday to you!”

Erica blushed deeply, and was left speechless by Yakko’s smile. He gently took her hand and led her to the place of honor, a chair adorned with balloons of many colors.  As everyone got situated, The Warner leapt up onto the stage and grabbed the microphone.

“Are you guys ready to party?” He exclaimed, raising a gloved fist into the air. Yakko was met with equal enthusiasm by the crowd, as they clapped loudly. “How about another round of applause for the beautiful Erica at the end of the table here?” An even louder applause and a few screams followed his next statement.

Yakko jumped off the stage and hopped over to the birthday girl almost instantly, the way a cartoon character was able to do. He pulled a massive, brightly colored box out of nowhere, slamming it down on the table in front of her. “Go ahead Sweetheart.” He purred. “Just a little something I had prepared for the occasion.”

“Oh Yakko,” She cooed, flipping her long hair. “You’re the best! ” With that, she untied the yellow box on the top of the package and something large and feathery landed on her lap. Startled, she nearly fell out of her seat laughing.

“Just a little birthday pheasant for you babe.” Yakko smirked, while raising an eyebrow.

Erica snorted and grabbed Yakko’s arm, pulling him down into a side hug. “See! I told you guys he’s the funniest!” She tried to hold him tighter as she continued her burst of giggles. Yakko merely played along and smiled. Just as he was locked inside the tight embrace, Minerva slinked over, hips swaying, to where the party was with a silver rolling tray. It was filled to the brim with glasses of red and white wine. Yakko swiped a glass off the cart and gingerly handed it to Erica, who eagerly accepted.

Within the hour, it had gotten so busy that Skippy, along with a few other toons also stepped up to manage the large party. Minerva was running circles between the bar and the table, and the atmosphere became louder with the introduction of alcohol. By now, the birthday girl was a giggly red mess, her eyes squinted shut and cheeks flush. There was a flurry of activity in the kitchen, as the cooks tried to keep up with the orders. Yakko spied Abigail in the corner with an almost pleased look in her eyes. Everyone was having a good time, which meant sales were sure to be beaten. All Yakko could think of was the fact that his wallet was sure to be a bit thicker by nights end. It was worth coming in early after all.

Soon enough, a massive 3 tired white cake was brought out, adorned with little red and black roses. At the top of it was a single sparkling candle, sizzling in the dimness of the dining area. Happy Birthday was sung, and a wobbling Erica attempted to blow out her candles. She missed the first time, but was successful on the second attempt.

More applause. After everyone had had their fill of cake, Yakko approached Erica and held out a hand to her. She had a very dopey smile on her face. “S-see, this guy here?” She stammered. “I, I love this guy.!”

“Well, I’d love it if you would come up front with me!” Yakko smirked. “I have a little song for you.” He helped her from her chair, and as she stood up her legs wobbled. She braced onto Yakko’s arms for support and he led her to the stage, gesturing for her to sit on top the piano.

“Let’s hear it for Erica again!” Yakko’s voice rang into the microphone. “Now I have a little song here, I only sing to the most beautiful girls.” Yakko’s fingers began to glide across the piano in a slow, sultry melody. “This one is especially for you.” He said suavely into the microphone, looking directly into her eyes.

As the guests began to clap and cheer, Yakko began to sing, led by the rhythm of the piano keys.

“She’s the woman, of the year, independent, a career, there’s not a thing that she couldn’t do! Oh she’s alert, she’s aware. She’s got legs like Astaire, and a 157 IQ.”

Erica had slowly squirmed closer, to Yakko as he continued to sing through the song. She was really into it, and even drunkenly attempted to sing alongside him. Much to his dismay, she then asked for “Nations of the World.” Yakko sighed inwardly, and did his best to look enthusiastic while he hummed out the countries. Watching Erica trying to keep up with him was comical enough, though, which helped for him to retain his smile. Erica eventually hobbled back over to her chair and Yakko continued to sing requests from the crowd. In the end, the birthday girl hadn’t end up sobbing about how old she was after all. It had been a drama free night much to Yakko’s delight. The only difficult moment he had was when he tried to say goodbye. Erica had embraced him so tightly he was half tempted to pull a crowbar out to pry himself out of her arms. After chatting with the crowd for a few more moments, he made his way over to the register to tally up the bills with Skippy. Hundreds of dollars had been spent. Yakko’s pupils almost turned into dollar signs.

So when the time came to collect on the bills, it was in fact quite the opposite. For the dozens of people that had been there, once the tips were split it barely totaled 5 bucks for each toon. 4 dollars and some change? After coming in early? After all the money these people had spent? Yakko was in utter disbelief.

Once the guests had left though, and the restaurant had closed, he made every effort to express his dis-satisfaction. “Can you believe these cheapskates?” He stammered, while mopping the floors. “After we ran our asses off all night too.”

Skippy shrugged and busied himself clearing away the tables. “Yeah, it sucks, but whatever, always next time, right?”

Yakko swished the mop back and forth quickly. “I’m so tired of busting my ass, of giving it my all, and what do we get in return? NOTHING.” He slammed the mop into the bucket with his last word, making the murky water in the pail splash upwards and onto his pants. “Poop.” He mumbled quietly to himself.

“What, what did you say?” Skippy asked in confusion.

Before Yakko could answer, the kitchen doors swung open and Abbigail emerged from the back, appearing quite pleased. “I want to thank all of you for your hard work tonight.” Because of your efforts, we had a record night in sales. Great job team!”

Clenching a fist, with his temperature rising, Yakko was just about to lose it when a firm hand on his shoulder halted him. He spied Skippy standing behind him shaking his head. The squirrel was right. It was in his best interests not to say anything.

And that’s how Yakko found himself leaving work feeling defeated, with nothing to show for the extra work he had put in. How would he break it to his sibs? The last thing he wanted was to let them down. His feet dragged against the pavement, aching from standing on them all evening. Not only that, Yakko had been so preoccupied running tables that he didn’t make it out back to see if that cute waitress would be back. “Always next time right?” With a heavy sigh, he moped over to his vespa that was parked on the side of the curb. Just as he was about to put the key in the ignition, the toon heard a familiar voice.

“Yakko!”

Eyes darting to the side, a smile widened across his face when he saw who it was. Yakko was elated to see It was Kori, and she was now walking briskly over to him, her ponytail swishing back and forth. Maybe the night wouldn’t end so badly after all.

“Eyyyyy.” Yakko said cooly, leaning back into his moped. “You like what you see?”

“Nice bike.” She giggled. “You just get off? Wait, of course you did, why did I even ask you such a stupid question. I mean why else would you be standing out here?”

Yakko chuckled. This girl was incredibly awkward, and her rambling was really adorable. It almost made him forget how shitty his evening had been in the process. “Who knows? Maybe I just make a habit of hanging out on street corners, waiting for cuties like you to come around.”

“Now that would just be creepy.” She said with an eyebrow playfully raised. “How was your shift anyways?”

“Craptastic.” He laughed. “And yours?”

“Let’s just say the customers were cheapskates tonight.” She added, crossing her arms in dis-satifaction.

“Did we have the same customers?”

“You too eh?”

They both nodded in unison. Yakko felt somewhat relaxed, talking to someone who understood his frustrations. “Soo um, you on your way home?” He mumbled casually.

“Yeah..I don’t live too far from here thank god.”

“Did you want a lift?”

“aha, really?” She said wide-eyed. “That would be pretty awesome.”

“It’s no big deal at all.” Yakko replied, swinging a leg over the side of his moped. He patted the worn leather seat. “I promise you’ll wheely, wheely like it.”

“PFFT, you are so lame.” She giggled. “So um, you don’t mind?”

“Would I have offered otherwise? Come on, just hop on the back, and hold onto something, preferably my waist. And an address would be helpful too. Or if you want, you could just stay at my place?”

Kori blushed, and rolled her eyes. “And see your stamp collection?”

Yakko’s ears perked up to her response. “Dude you remember that?”

“Of course!” Kori smiled. “One of your best jokes.”

Yakko smiled warmly. This girl remembered a single joke, and never berated him about his songs, or catch phrases. It was really refreshing.

Kori hesitated a moment before hopping onto the bike. The vespa wobbled for a moment as she shifted herself into a more comfortable position.

Yakko tensed up when he felt her arms snake around his midsection. She squirmed to get in closer. As her body made contact with his backside, a shiver went up his spine.

“So where do you live?” Yakko said nervously, scooting forwards in the seat a bit.

“1311 Beatty Street.”

The toon nodded. She didn’t live very far from where he and his siblings resided. Which was a bonus.

“Hold on ok?” Yakko said, sticking the key into the ignition. “And when we turn on the corners, lean in alongside me.”

He pushed off with his foot from the side of the curb, the engine of his moped sputtering in defiance. After a few seconds, it finally gained enough momentum and sped off onto the street. There was hardly any traffic, so he pushed the throttle to it’s max. The engine wailed loudly, and the bike shook wildly as it picked up speed. Not the most comfortable piece of transportation. But maybe one day he’d be able to afford something nicer.

But at that point, the lameness of his vespa did not even matter. He turned tightly on a corner and she locked her arms around him even tighter, burying her face into the back of his vest. Yakko blushed, but did his best to concentrate on the street before him and the wind blowing in his face, whipping his ears backwards. He mentally told himself to focus on the road and not on the good-looking girl who was currently holding onto him as if her life depended on it. Not the easiest task for a Warner.

“Just a few more houses up.” Kori shouted, over the roaring of the engine. Slwoing down, Yakko pulled over alongside a stretch of older homes that had been remodeled into apartments.  They looked old and saggy, making his apartment building looking like a palace.

“Home sweet home.” She chimed, as he drove to the side of the curb and coming to a halt. It was eerily quiet once he took the keys out of the ignition.

Kori slowly hopped off the back of the bike, and nodded in thanks. “Thanks so much for the ride.”

“Anytime sweetheart.” The toon winked with a grin.

“Kori?” She corrected him playfully.

“Uhh, I meant to say that.” Yakko laughed. “So, you always walking home from work this late?”

“Pretty much,” Kori said with a shrug. “Not like I can afford a car or anything.” She had a far off look in her eyes, as if she was thinking about something.

“Well..” Yakko mumbled. “If your off at the same time as I am, I’ll give you a lift anytime.”

“Really?” She piped. “That would be awesome!”

“Sure! And if you don’t feel like going home, the offer still stands to come home with me” Yakko said slyly with a raised brow.

“Now your pushing your luck, warner.” She blushed.

Yakko and Kori shared an awkward laugh over the comment.  

“Soo umm” Yakko rambled. “I’ve seen to have lost my number?” To get the point across even more, he pretended to check his pockets.

“You lost your number?”

“Yeah, so, can I have yours?”

Kori paused for a moment, her lips cracking into a huge smile. “Smooth, very smooth.”

“Uhhhh well, that way I can text you and see when you need a lift?” Yakko said, trying to defend his motivations on the matter. From the look on her face, it was evident tell she wasn’t buying it.

She pulled a phone out of her pocket, the screen illuminating the freckles on her face. Enthusiastically, Yakko did the same.

“I thought you lost your number.”

“Well lucky for me I found it just in time.” Yakko grinned.

“Wow, how convenient is that?”

“Very.” The toon smirked.

Feeling content, Yakko drove home with a smile plastered on his face, despite the fact that he had managed to make no extra money that night. Getting her number was a score at least right? Just as he was unlocking the door to his apartment, his phone buzzed in his pocket wildly. He swiped open the phone to read the message, and for once it wasn’t from his boss.

Kori: Hey 😊 How you doing??

Eagerly, Yakko punched back a response immediately.

Yakko: Hellooooooo Kori! Miss me already?”

[tessa9879-blog]

Hello . You might call me Tessa.

Here I upload my stories in English. My native language is Bulgarian and I have a profile with stories in Bulgarian. Here, I'm just trying to distribute them in English too. Excuse me if there are any errors.

*************************                      

Chapter 1

Bulgaria, Sofia Airport, 2 years earlier

I stood by my suitcase and stamped nervously with my leg. I waited to announce the flight to London and I was losing patience. At the insistence of my parents, we came 2 hours earlier, in each case.

      - Uh! - I cracked.

"Easy, Kathy, stay a little longer," my mother said. I just rolled my eyes. When I knew I had to go to London, at first I was both opposed to my father. "What? London? England? In another country? Absurd!". But after many disputes and negotiations, we finally reached a consensus. Still, I was going for 5 days, not for 5 years - Are you sure you took everything, did you forget something? "continued Mummy.

"You've been asking me for the 18th time," I said, grinning. "Everything is in the suitcase... And now you calm down, you will not feel when these five days will pass. Still, they will not be hanging over there. Tomorrow is the interview, on Thursday is the concert and on Friday I go home ...

     "Wonderful concert," my father murmured.

     "Ah, please, no offense - I looked bad.

     - All right, good, peace! - be peace some other time - Tell her again, who were these bunnies ... "my father reiterated.

- One Direction - I rushed him roughly - and they are not skewers ... they are ... Gods ...

My father made a face as if he was vomiting.

     "Have you noticed that the bigger you get, the more upset?"

     - You too - I said, and I put it on, maybe we wanted to argue - very well - And can you explain to me how my song with my songs was in your car?

     "I have no idea what you're talking about - my father was outraged. I narrowed my eyes and continued.

     "A few days ago I noticed that the disk was gone, and the day he was coming back from work, you listened to their song ... and sang! I pointed it theatrically with my finger

- Innocent until proven otherwise! He turned to Mother for help. Now I was indignant, because I really had a few days ago heard him listening to What makes you beautiful and singing her.

Mom only shook her head and said,

      "You are such children both ..."

      "Please passengers to London head to a third terminal. - announced from the airport.

I jumped as if I had been dropped. Ours also got up and hugged me hard.

      - Take care! "Dad said.

"And you do not talk to strangers ..." I read his tone, and my mother frowned behind my neck.

     "More seriously. but she was also going to laugh at her. At least she had faith, but for my father and 50 to become, I will still be his "little girl". Mom also hugged me. "Call when you arrive.

     "Okay, okay, come on Friday," Dad interrupted. "Come on, if you miss the plane, I'm not taking the third world in the next 10 years.

   - 10 minimum! I kissed his cheek and walked away. I turned in front of the terminal, waved them, and motioned for them to leave. Then I boarded the plane.

I was getting a second-class ticket. I quickly found my place and settled down. I had never been on a plane before, and I was getting a little nervous. That's why I pulled out the headphones and played music - that was the only way to reassure. I closed my eyes. Hell, I thought, I'm the biggest lucky man in the world! I had won a One Direction concert ticket, and before that I was going to be part of a show, telling myself about how I got here. And if I had to be honest, I had no idea how. Just one day while I was listening to More Than This, I decided I had to share it in a tweeting, I did not know what made me, but I noticed the boys, and finally I wrote, "These are the words every girl dreams of listening Thank you guys now I will never find a boyfriend! " The video I was publishing was from their concert and they sang live and it was, in a nutshell, unique. After this tweet, my followers quickly grew up, and the tweit itself was ripped a few thousand times. A few days later I received a message from the official tweed of the band. One of their managers congratulated me and sent me a poll to complete. I naturally filled it out immediately and sent it. It was strange to me that I had to write my phone number, but I added it. I was in shock when they called me after 2 days told me I was winning a ticket for their concert. I shot directly into the seventh sky with happiness. Of the millions of their fans around the world, I had won !!! The managers would have organized my stay in England to bear my expenses and sent me to Bulgaria on Friday. These people hardly knew, but my dream came true - I would have seen the boys ... I WOULD LOVE THE ONE DIRECTION CONCERT !!!

     I did not feel when the plane took off, nor the trip to England, I was asleep. But I felt the nudge of the woman sitting next to me.

"Sleeping, we've arrived," she said, smiling softly.

     - Thanks! "I said sleepy, and I rose. When I got off the plane, I was really scared - I did not know who would be waiting for me or where to go.

     My fears turned out to be in vain - there was a bright group standing at the meeting. A young girl stood and held a white sheet on which my name was written in Bulgarian. Beside her, a man looked at his watch and looked curiously. These two were surrounded by four healthy men who held away a few journalists. Not to see him, my arrival was a public secret. I pulled the suitcase and went straight to the girl

- Hello! - I said in English. She looked at me, smiled and began to spit in Bulgarian.

     "Hi, I'm Maria, but you can tell me Mary. I'll be your translator. This is Paul, he is ...

     - I know who it is - I broke it - Sorry, I do not want to be rude, but I speak perfectly English! - it was really like this - my English was like a native language.

     - Great! - Mary was not offended at all - I'm not even for a while, I'll only help you on the show. She turned to Paul Paul, that's Catherine.

     - Hello! he said as we shuffled and looked at his watch again. "Come on, it's time to go, we'll be late for the show."

     - What show? - I asked.

- What you're going to be in! Mary answered, handing my suitcase to one of the men.

      - What ?! I almost cried out, and Paul turned and looked at me.

      - Speak English?

      "Perfect," I answered him rather quietly.

      "Oh, that's gonna be really fun," and a sly smile appeared on his lips. "Anyway, there's a change in the plan the show will be shooting today," he began to explain as we walked toward the exit.

      - But tomorrow ... - I felt how I started to mumble - In the sense, I want at least to wash and change my clothes

"Then you will be bathed in the hotel - we were already outside, opened the door to a huge black jeep and said good-bye - I'm really sorry!

I shrugged my shoulders and climbed, and while we were traveling to the studio I was blinking out the window.

     - Well, how are you feeling? He tried to talk to Mary.

     "Okay," I lied. Actually, I was not good at all. I was seriously panicked. I thought the interview would be tomorrow, and I'll have enough time to adjust mentally for it. But obviously I would not have this opportunity.

The trip to the studio lasted for 30-40 minutes. We stopped in front of a tall building in the center of London, then climbed to the fifth floor. There was the studio there, and there was real chaos inside. There were people running back and forth, chambers and microphones spread. Maria and Paul took me to a dressmaker and told me I had half an hour to prepare, wished my success, and left me alone. About 5 minutes I was dull looking at the door and blinking at the rags. "Oh my God, what did I do?" I thought, and then came out of the trance that I had fallen into. I looked around for my suitcase, but he was gone. Shit, I'm gonna have to go out with the clothes I wore. I was wearing a white adidas, and black, wider and without back, dark blue jeans and sneakers. Not so bad, I thought, in other circumstances, I would wear something like this. There was another small room in the dressing room and rightly assumed it was the toilet. I went in and washed my face and hands. Good thing the make-up was in my handbag. I was rarely making up and generally not using a background, but at the moment I was pale as a ghost, and it would be a good idea to put a little color on my face. I emphasized my eyes with a line of eye and a black pencil, and then I put on and spiraled. I dropped my hair from the tail and cut it. I'm not the first beauty, but I'm not too ugly, or at least I thought so. I have big blue eyes, full lips, chick nose, the shape of my face is neither round nor oval, but some cross between the two, I can not determine. I weigh 50 kilos and I am 1.60 high. As a whole, my appearance is not in the "classic beauty" category, but the health is. I only like my hair - black, with a slight reddish tinge reaching the middle of my back.

Somebody knocked on the door and I jumped. It was Mary.

     "After 5 minutes we're on the air, are you ready?" Wow, you look amazing. Come on ...

He did not wait to answer, grabbed my arm and pulled me out. Fuck him! Fuck him! Fuck him! Let me note that, at first, my vocabulary was too blossoming from swearing, and I swore more than necessary, one of my many shortcomings.

      "Listen now," Mary said, "Alan will say your name, you'll go out and sit next to me, I'll wait for you there

 591/5000

Samo kimnakh, vŭobshte ne razbrakh kakvo mi kaza. Meri me potupa okurazhitelno po ramoto i izchezna. I na men mi ideshe da izbyagam, no nyamashe na kŭde - pred men be stsenata, taka da kazha, ot dyasno beshe publikata, vodeshtiyat sedeshe na malko divanche, a do nego imashe drugo po-golyamo, i ot lyavo, zad golemiya divan, imashe video stena. I v tozi moment vodeshtiya izvika imeto mi, publikata pochna da rŭkoplyaska, a Meri se beshe nastanila do nego. Imakh chuvstvoto, che shte umra, no misŭlta, che khilyadi bikha ubili, za da sa na moeto myasto, me uspokoi i vdŭkhna sili. Usmikhnakh se izlyazokh v svetlinite na prozhektorite.

I just nodded, did not know what he said to me at all. Mary patted my shoulder encouragingly and disappeared. And I was about to flee, but there was not where - the scene was in front of me, so to speak, to the right of the audience, the leader was sitting on a small sofa and beside him there was another one, and on the left, behind the big sofa, there was a video wall. And at that moment the guy called out my name, the audience started applauding, and Mary was sitting next to him. I had the feeling that I was going to die, but the thought that thousands would kill to be in my place calmed me and inspired me. I smiled and went out into the spotlight.

 I sat down as Mary instructed me and looked at the guy. He stared at me.

    "Is this the girl who will never find her boyfriend?" - he pointed at me and watched the audience, I started to laugh. "Are you sure she is not a mistake?" - they are all grinning - Are you Katerina Petrova?

    "In all my shine," I said in Bulgarian, and I laughed again. Mary translated. I did not understand why I was a translator, I was almost certain they were playing a game. Whatever it is, I'd get involved.

   "I do not believe," Alan said, pointing me to his finger, "Who are you?"

I frowned.

"So, the guy stopped grinning," Katerina, tell us about yourself.

    - My name is Katerina Petrova, 22 years old, from Bulgaria ... and I love One Direction.

The audience clapped and I began answering questions. In about 15 minutes, Alan interrupted me.

    "Katherine ... a very long name, can I call you Kate or Kat?" - I nodded - Great! And now I have a little surprise for you, actually a few, but we'll start with the first one.

Oh my God! Surprises? They knew how to make a man look on his fingernails.

    "So ... turn to the video wall. "Alan went on.

I turned and fed - there were Liam, Louis, Nile, Harry and Zane ...

     - Hello! "everyone said, and I stood with my mouth open and lost my mind.

     "We're One Direction ..." Liam began.

     - And you won ... - Louis.

"Ticket for our ..." "Nile.

     - Concert on Thursday. - Harry.

    - We love you ... - Zane.

    "Until recently ..." they said again, and waved. The video is over. I felt my eyes fill with tears.

    - Are you crying? - Alan asked - Oh God ... she's crying!

I winked and began to grin.

   "It was ... it was ..." but obviously I had no words to go on. At that moment Alan became serious.

    "Now, can I ask you something?" - I nodded - Do you speak English?

I started to laugh again.

    - I speak English more than well, 7 years of language learning, and 14-15 speak it freely.

    "And if I ask you in the next half-hour to do that you do not understand a word, would you do that?"

Of course. "I agreed, I would have finally figured out this nonsense of translating.

     "But before that, I want you to sing," Alan said.

     - What ?! No no no! - I immediately objected - I sing terrible!

     "Please, that's about the next surprise ..." he winked at me in a conspiratorial manner. I shook my head and tried to argue - unsuccessfully. I did not understand how, but this guy convinced me and while I was feeling I was already with a microphone in my hand and I was about to sing More Than This ...

     "I'm really singing horribly," I warned, and he snapped his ears, which made me wander.

     - Do not laugh but sing ...

The piano played somewhere and I sang the chorus of my favorite song, hoping I would not show up ... very much. The lights went out and only one projector lit up right in me. I felt stupid, did not see it, and I was not a singer and could not sing why did I make myself hang out? I sang the chorus and I glared at the lead Alan - he only smiled, Mary smiled. The piano was still playing. At that moment I heard 5 to the pain known voices that began to sing. The lights went on, and I was surrounded by the incredible guys from One Direction. I saw them alive ... from flesh and blood ... Oh my God! Oh my gosh! I had not dreamed about it ...

They stood around me and they were singing, smiling, probably by my stupid expression, but at that moment I did not know where I was! I stopped singing, the audience clapped and they sat down on the couch ... beside me. I kept watching them without blinking. I had the feeling that if it blinked and they would disappear. Alan said something, but I did not hear it, the boys began to laugh. I turned to Mary and asked her to pinch me. Everyone was already grinning.

- Oh, please, Harry, I'm gonna pinch her - she does not believe you're here! "And Harry, sitting right next to me, immediately reached out and pinched me. I just melted. "And now the last surprise," Alan went on, "which is for all of you," he pointed to us six. "We've decided with your managers to do something for you ... You get a fifteen-day rest, and this lady will enjoy your company.

What? 15 days? With these amazing guys? It all became clear to me - I was dead and this was heaven ...

The guys seemed to be really happy.

"But ... I have to warn you - she does not speak an English word - the boys looked at me horribly, I could hear their thoughts," What the hell are we going to do for 15 days with a guy we can not even communicate with? " I was grinning, that's what the plan was ... Alan continued, "But I warn you, she's a real devil, so be careful! "They smiled a little nervously, and Harry said something of the sort that we would use the body language, everyone laughed, but they looked at me strangely, as if I were coming from another planet, not from another country.

I did not say anything I just smiled and did not stop wondering about my luck ...

After the show, Paul gathered us and loaded us on the jeep. Before I got in, Mary was shining brightly, it seemed no less than me. Overall, the trip was epic, at least for me. We were going to a hotel complex on the outskirts of London - I understood that while I was doing that I did not understand.

     "What did we deserve?" Zane asked, "I do not think you were really excited."

     "I have no idea," Nilel said.

     "Keep it tight, it will not be that bad," Liam said, looking at me not very hopefully. I stared out the window and barely kept my laughter.

We arrived at the hotel at dusk. The complex was amazing, I had no words to describe it. From inside he was even more stunning. Apparently our luggage had already arrived because Paul gave us a sign to go straight up. The managers had rented an apartment on the top floor. The boys climbed to one of the lifts, and Paul and I in the other. Once we were alone, we started laughing.

    "Do not forget, they do not know you're talking English! - Paul reminded me.

    "What did they deserve?" - I asked the question that Zane was trying to do.

    "They are very fun, they like to make jokes ... Well, now we will have some fun with them.

We continued to laugh, but as soon as the elevator stopped again, we became serious. The crowds had already taken the apartment and settled on a table full of flavors. Paul showed me my room, wished us good night and left.

    - Well, now it's been interesting! - said Harry.

Everyone looked at me, and I sat down in a chair beside the table. Harry decided to officially introduce himself.

    "Haaari," said Leieam, Naayal, Luwie and Zeeeine. he pointed to the others.

I raised my eyebrows. I had not won a ticket for their concert, which means I was a fan, I knew all their songs, when and where they were born, I supposed to know their names. They did not seem to have this opinion. I decided to make an idiot, as they obviously thought of me.

"Haaari," I said, pointing to myself, Leieim, Naalal, Luwoy, Yane, and pointed at the others. Everyone laughed, even Zane, though he did not stutter, make a face and squeeze "O God!"

    "No, no, no," Harry said, pointing again, "Haari. - I rewrote it again - No! Hari ... - already shouting and patting his chest - I'm Harry!

   "Harry, stop doing a clown, he's hopeless," said Zane, pointing at me. Rough! Someone was sour. I frowned.

   "Harry, Liam, Louis, Nile ... Yeah," I pointed out to everyone by saying their names correctly, except for Zane. Everyone laughed without Mr. Sarditko.

   "You," he said, looking straight into my eyes.

   "Yane," he said.

   - Zane!

   - Yeah ..

   - Zane! - he knocked on the table, got up and sat down on the couch - He does not know he can not talk, but he has

- Zane! "He stumbled on the table, got up and sat down on the couch." He does not know he can not speak, he has his own room! he continued to groan.

I followed him with my mouth open. I grabbed a loaf and I found it. I hit his neck and he turned quickly.

    - Zane! "I growled, and I turned his back on the demonstration. The others went awry. I looked at Harry and pointed.

    - Catherine! - it was my turn to laugh now, it was hard for them to pronounce my name. I finally gave up, shaking my head. I looked at them questioningly.

    - Kate? I asked, and they agreed unanimously.

"Kate ..." Niall called me and pushed me a dish of food. I shook my head and signaled to them that I was going to sleep. I was too tired, the emotional day was telling her the word. I got up and walked to the room.

    "Kate another time," Zane snapped as I passed him. I looked at him devastatingly, and before I closed the door to the room, I ran out of it. His physiognomy was invaluable, and the laughter of the boys was heard for a long time.

I woke up early and my first job was to have a bath. I had my own bathroom, as opposed to the boys who had to use a common one. I allowed myself to swell under the shower and went out when I felt like jelly. I wound my hair with a towel, put on a T-shirt and boxer, put on my toothbrush with plenty of paste, and went out to have some coffee. It was my everyday ritual at home. Only it turned out I was not the only one who was annoying - Harry and Zane lay on the couch and stared at the TV. As I walked into the room, the two stood up.

"Oh God," Harry muttered, looking at me. I only waved and hurried to go to the kitchen, and they laughed. Hell, how could I forget I was not alone and I was walking around my pants ?!

   "You can not deny he has a cool asshole ..." I heard Harry speak to Zane.

   "I've seen even cooler." - it was the answer - Plus, her breasts are small.

   "You know brother, since you broke up with Perry you got scared. - Harry gave it back, and I sharpened my ears - She's very good girl, she's even terribly cute ... - They kept arguing, but I no longer listened to them - I was shocked.

Did you break up with Perry ?! Why? When? How? He was my favorite band, though in the last few hours he was trying to change that. With Perry they were an incredible couple and I was very happy about their happiness. But they are broken. That's where his mellow mood came from ...

    As I pondered the reasons for separating Zane and Perry, my coffee became ready. I picked it up in my glass and went to my room, but a door opened in the corridor and collided with Liam.

    "What about ..." he began, but he stopped when he saw me. I smiled and literally flew to my room. I heard them grinning. How could I have done so?

     I immediately put on my shorts, brushed my teeth, took the cigarette case, and went back to the living room with them.

[sawson]

Muffet’s Circus (A request fanfic) (edited)

This was a request by waldorkler, hope you people enjoy! 

                                                  Muffet’s Circus

                                                    2,532 words

It was 3 pm in the Underground and all is well in each area, but it is about to get better for there was a circus arising. The circus of spiders! Lead by the Queen of spider herself, Ms. Muffet. Thanks to the sponsoring of Mettaton, the circus was filled with many monsters around. However, the circus can not be complete without it’s treats, snacks, and prizes. Luckily for everyone the spider bakers were the one selling the edibles and NOT Muffet. Oh where are my manners, I am your narrator and announcer on this beeeautiful day! Nice to meet ya!

“Wowie, look at this place!”, Papyrus said with glee as he looked around walking to his seat, “I can’t wait to see the human’s act”, he said sitting down.

“Me too Papyrus”, Toriel said following him then taking her seat next to Papyrus.

“I wonder what they’ll do”, Alphys questioned sitting down next to Toriel.

“Whatever it is, they reeeallly wanted us to see it”, Undyne said sitting down next to Alphys, “Even got us front row seats”

“Whatever it might be, I’m sure it will be wonderful”, Asgore said calmly sitting next to Undyne.

In the center of it all is where the monsters gather and wait for the performance to begin, some excited and some patient. The area is very dim with a few highlights giving enough light to see. After an hour of waiting, the performance is finally beginning.

“Good eve and good day everyone”, Muffet greeted being lowered down by the silk she made, “And welcome to the Circus le Araignées~!”, she said gently stepping off the silk.

Muffet wore a stylish ringleader outfit that was a top hat with a red and yellow ribbon wrapped around it, the traditional circus reddish purple coat with golden lace, pure white puffy pants, black leggings, black boots, wore white gloves with red lace. In each set of hands she held fancy cigars she waved around like wands.

“I would like to give a special thanks to…the one and only, METTATON!”, Muffet said happily.

Suddenly fog start filling in the center stage to where the audience couldn’t see. The fog is clearing up…and Mettaton appears out of no where! The crowd went wild after seeing the beloved celebrity in person.

“Hello darlings~”, Mettaton said charmingly with a wink and a microphone, “I hope you enjoy the show~”

“Oooh myyy goosh, Sans are you seeing this?!”, Papyrus said pointing and waving his arm in excitement.

Sans just closed his eyes and nod not being surprised by Mettaton’s appearance.

“But enough of me, for now~”, Mettaton said, “The show must begin”, he said putting his arms up”

“You said it Metty~”, Muffet said winking and pointing one of her cigars”, “Let’s start with tthhee Acrobats!”, she shouted putting her left arm in the air and her right hands on her waist.

The audience clapped and cheered for the performance they’ve been waiting for, and out came twenty four spiders and crawled up to the Acrobat Pole. Unlike normal spiders, these spiders were five times bigger than the largest spider in the world. They waved one of their little legs to the monsters watching them from above. It looks like they’re climbing above each other in groups of six with one group walking on the tightrope and group two walking under it. As they moved they wobble back and forth more and more until they leaned back, grabbed onto the other group and started moving like a slinky! Group two does the same thing and slinked in the opposite direction. Now they’re slinking diagonal on the tightrope and the audience is astounded by the groups flexibility and speed, look at them go! But wait. Now both groups have stopped on top of the tightrope and all fall off one by one, as they fall they shoot out some thread before they hit the ground. Now they’re doing acrobatic moves using the threads. Spinning around, catching each other, doing double spins, these spiders are on a roll! Or should I say, on a thread  *drums*.

“Heheheh!”, Sans giggled.

“Sans why are you laughing?”, Papyrus asked looking at Sans and raising his eyebrows.

“No reason”, Sans said smiling big.  

The acrobats land safely on the giant spider web and make a pose for the audience, what a show they just witnessed! They cheer, clap, shout, and all the usual appreciations. The acrobats make their way out to rest while making way for the Ringleader as she walks out with confidence and style, she twirls her cigars with her fingers.

“Now that was an act or what my dears”, Muffet asked after inhaling smoke from one of her cigars.

Without a doubt the audience agrees.

“Splendid~!”, Muffet said happily with a cute smile, “But I wonder…you ready for some intents action?!”, she asked.

Intents action, what does she mean? What? There are so many small spiders coming out from back stage, dang there are so many. They could fill up the entire center stage if there were more. Hooold up…they’re…mashing together and making something-OH SNAP IT’S A LION, NO IT’S TWO LIONS!!! Muffet tips her hat up and faces the spider lions.

“Okay guys, show these monsters a show!”, Muffet said to the spider lions, “Now FIGHT!”, she commanded.

Whoa looks like it just got reeealll here! The ringleader does some lovely back flips to the back stage entrance and does a nice bow, “Enjoy and have fun~!”, Muffet said leaving.

The spiders are giving each other a fearsome look as they circle around the stage ever slowly. And…they ATTACK! The first lion tries scratching the other, but failed due to the second lion’s speed, oh the second lion gives the first one a mighty push back to the acrobat pole making some of the spiders fall off. Ouch, there gonna really feel that later. Wait wait what is this?! The first lion is changing, it appears to be…a spider snake! A spider cobra none the less, oh wow it slithers super quickly to the lion! It wraps itself around the lion and squeezes them with all their might, by gosh this is breath taking! *Drums*

“Hahaha!”, Sans giggles facepalming.

“YYYEEAAAA KICK THEIR BUTT, SHOW THEM WHOSE BOSS!!!”, Undyne shouted leaping out her seat.

From a lion to a tiger breaking the snake in half, from a snake to an elephant ramming a tiger, from a tiger to a bull trying to even the odd in its state oooooh man what else can happen?!                

“Make way darling~”, Mettaton said charmingly.

What’s  this?! Mettaton is walking out, *Gasp* and he’s wearing a Traje de luces?! For you who don’t know that means a traditional Spanish bullfighting outfit and he looks FABULOUS! Look at the way he walks out with that red cape on his shoulder, such poise, such style, such GLAMOUR!

“Let’s not delay the audience, and get on with the show~”, Mettaton said charmingly as he takes off the cape and pose.        

The bull sees the cape and is in rage by the sight, it turns to Mettaton and snarls. Tension feels the room from the crowds as they wait in anticipation between their celebrity and the spider bull, even the spider elephant stands aside. Aannd the bull runs off to his opponent, but Mettaton keeps his stance and stays ready for it. Here they go, the bull points their horns at their target and OH METTATON dodges the bull with a traditional bullfighting technique. But wait…there’s no sword, no spear, not even a knife on the bull. What gives?

“I can never hurt you”, Mettaton said twirling his cape onto his arm, “But I will face you head on!”

Those words, such passion has hit the hearts of the monsters. Even bring a tear to their eye. Somewhere in Hotland, Mettaton’s ratings has gone up.

“Hmph wimp”, Undyne said in disgust sitting down and folding her arms, “What’s the point in a battle where the opponent doesn’t fight? Sounds like the human”, she said rolling her eyes.

“Undyne you know he’s doing it for the audience and that it’s just a show right?”, Alphys said looking at Undyne

“…I guess”, Undyne said shrugging resting her head on her hand.

The spider bull drags it’s hooves on the ground then makes another run towards Mettaton. Oh and he dodges the bull with out even looking at him!

“Whoa look at him go!”, Papyrus said with excitement.

“I wonder how long it took to practice this?”, Asgore questions scratching his chin.

Well it must of took a lot of it because Mettaton is dodging left, right, up, around over with his fabulous poses. What will he do as the spider bull makes another run? Wait a minute, Mettaton’s not moving, he’s…going to let the bull hit him! Oh my gosh! Everyone is panicking, I’M PANICKING! *Crash*!!! *Loong gasp*…the spider bull just burst into smaller spiders, and Mettaton…he’s made it out without a scratch.

“…That’s a wrap~”, Mettaton said swaying his hair.

Oh what a performance from the beloved celebrity, so much for the eyes to see! The crowd cheers with relief and smiles. The spider elephant gives Mettaton a nice cuddle and he gently pats its head, how sweet~. Now two spotlights flash on to the center stage and slowly move up to reveal…Muffet the ringleader on the tightrope!

“Okay everyone, we’ll be taking a short break”, Muffet said with a microphone in one hand while juggling her cigars in the other hands, “In the mean time, go get yourself some more refreshments for the ggrrand finale~!”, she said sounding cute with one leg up and her middle hand on her cheek.  

I know that’s right. With all that action, monsters gonna need more drinks from all the screaming and cheering they’ve been doing.

30 minutes later…

Phew those mini games were fun to play, they were set up while the two acts were going on.

With everyone back in their seat hands filled with more snacks and drinks, they wait for what might be the final act. The place is dim yet again, but light flashed on one by one until BOOM there appears Ms. Muffet!

“Welcome back my dearies~!”, Muffet said with her arms in the air, “I know you all are ready right?!”, she asked with on hand on her ear.

The audience agrees.

“Well here you have it, The Amazing…HUMAN CANNONBALL!!!”, Muffet said as the light flashed on a big cannon with Frisk standing right next to it.

OH SNAP!!! Nobody saw this coming, not even Frisk’s friends.

WHAT IS MY CHILD DOING NEXT TO A CANNON?!!”, Toriel panicked.

Wowie, I didn’t know the human was going to do that!”, Papyrus said excitedly.

Oh yea now we’re talkin’!”, Undyne shouts getting hyped up.

Alphys quietly panics. Asgore and Sans are quiet, but no doubt they are screaming on the inside.

“This adorable human here is going to be shot out this cannon and into the mouth of my sweet cute pet, CUPCAKE!”, Muffet explains walking over to Frisk then points.

The spotlight moves over to Cupcake wearing a polka dot bow tie and waving to the audience, oh how sweet. Toriel is enrage though, everyone beside her is trying to hold her back to keep the show going on. This woman does not play when her her child is in danger, you can see that folks.

“But that’s not all, Cupcake will spit them out into the air where the acrobats will catch them!”, Muffet explains pointing to the acrobats, “Then drop the human to the spider formers and safely carry them to our lovely celebrity”, she said pointing to Mettaton.

Oooh I can’t wait to see this act unfold, let us watch. Frisk gently steps into the cannon and gives a thumbs up for the spider lighting the fuse, oh boy the fuse is sparking. *BOOM* Off they go into the air keeping their form as a flying plane, now they’re using the diving form as they fall straight to Cupcake! And Cupcake has successfully caught Frisk into their mouth, that was quite a heavy dive Frisk just took. Let’s see what happens next.

“Launch them sweetie~!”, Muffet commanded charmingly with one cigar in her mouth, pointing her right side arms up, and her left side arms on her hips.

….Huh? Uuumm…Cupcake…appears to be having a tough time spitting out Frisk.

“Uuuh sw-sweetie, you can spit them out now”, Muffet says nervously.

Cupcake keeps coughing and coughing, but…Frisk isn’t coming out…oooooh no. The crowd is getting worried and Toriel is….I do not want to describe.

“It’s okay, everything is okay everyone”, Muffet says trying to calm the audience down, “Cupcake just need some help that’s all”, she said running to Cupcake with her cigar drops out her mouth.

Muffet’s is now running behind Cupcake and feeling their back, wonder what she might be doing?

“Ah ha there you are! Sorry to do this sweetie”, Muffet said taking a few steps back and kicking Cupcake’s back!

That kick made Cupcake jump up to their feet in shock, they appear to look pretty nauseous and dizzy. Oh wait a minute something’s happening with Cupcake…it…looks like they’re going to throw up. Ooooh my goodness, Cupcake just threw up Frisk high in the air! Higher than expected, too high! The acrobats are quickly stacking on each other, it looks like they’re forming a rope. They hang upside down on the tightrope they stood on and start swing back and forth. Here it comes…one more swing aaandd….THEY DID IT, THEY CAUGHT FRISK!!! Uh oh, the acrobats are having a tough time controlling their swinging. Oh no they lost grip and flinged Frisk up in the air. What’s this?! The spider formers are grouping up, what are they forming now? It’s a…trampoline! Oh wait, they’re moving around the center stage to catch Frisk! More to the left, more to the right, more to the northwest. YES THEY CAU-uuh no Frisk bounced off!

“I got you darling!”, Mettaton shouted while running with his hands out”, Oof! ….Now that was shocking, are you okay sweetheart?”, he asked after catching Frisk.

Frisk nods their head as they look at him. After all that just happened, after all that seriousness. That…was…INCREDIBLE!!! The suspense, the action, the teamwork, the…EVERYTHING! Everyone is clapping, everybody is cheering, every monster is relieved! Ms.Toriel runs up to the stage and hugs Frisk for dear life, awwww. Her friends follow and congrats Frisk on their act, weell except for Sans and Asgore who are just relieved, relaxed, and lightly cheer in their stage seat. Heck I probably do the same. For a job well done Mettaton waves to the audience while Frisk kindly lights one of Muffet’s cigars, which now I realized smells like a fresh bakery. *Sniffs* ahhh, donuts. Anyway it has been fun being your narrator here today everyone out there. Good day, good night, and keep those hopes and dreams high. Narrator out!