#hello anon whose identity i certainly do not know

[soriastrider]

Heawo, pwease dwaw a squimbwy?

the creacher has been observed and accepted. this is nothing too unusual for the rulers of the consort kingdom

[cowboyjen68]

Anon Ask

Ask  “hello jen! im rowan, he/him, and i just (very) recently realized im a butch lesbian (or baby butch).  i had been struggling with my identity in and out for years , which has been tough since im only 16.  your content is so immensely comforting to me because of how open and accepting you are to everyone in the community, regardless of age or hyperpersonal identity. 

i know being butch is so specific for everyone and can be so different depending on the person, but what advice do you have for a baby butch? something you wish you had been told?

thank you for reading and responding if you do :) best of wishes to you, jen. ❤️”

Response:

Hi. Thank you for trusting me to reach out. I can tell you at 16 I was nowhere near being ok with being same sex attracted or really in any way sexual. I thought I was SUPPOSED to be “sex and boy crazy” because that is what all the movies and TV shows told me and what my Peers led me to believe, even if they were faking it. 

By  5th grade or so I was also  becoming aware that my Tomboy status was growing less acceptable by the day as I got older and I did my very best to shift to sort of “horse girl” or “sporty” but mostly just “generic”. I avoided anything I had to dress up for because what I wanted to wear and thought I would look best in was NOT what I was expected to wear to dances, events etc. I stuck with jeans, sweatshirts and tennis shoes, packing away my favorite horse belt buckle and denim vests as I entered Jr High. (I wear that horse belt buckle almost every day now). 

I was in my 20’s before I came out and 22 or so before I learned about the word Butch And a few more years before I realized it applied to me even though I did not fit the stereotype I had formed in my head.

I wish someone would have told me that I was not being a woman wrong or acting like a man nor was I too happy or outgoing to be a butch. I would have liked to hear that I was like the other girls in more ways than I was different and the way I was different (according to societal standards ) was natural and I was not a weird anomaly with no one to relate to or share common experiences with. I didn’t even need to know the word butch but to see older women who were like me AND who embraced their natural energy and even the perceptions of others as normal and a source of commonality and pride would have been life changing. These women came along eventually and changed my life for the better. 

I certainly saw a few butches like me. Camp counselors, women working in the campgrounds we visited and around in my life but they were sort of forced, by nature of the times, to keep ANY hint of lesbianism out of public view.  Just seeing women whose existence resonated with me helped immensely even if it was years before I connected the dots. 

Seeing myself reflected in older women who were living their lives was good, if they had been accessible as well as visible that would have lessened the time it took me to understand I am okay as I am and there are other women who share my experiences. I got there eventually. 

[kitashiwrites]

OMG KATE KATE YOU FINISHED THE TARQUIN SAGA - MY SUMMER BAE YOU GODDESS YOU I AM SO PROUD YOU MAKE ME SO HAPPY I LOVE YOUR FICS CAN YOU DO LUCIEN NEXT THANK YOU FOR BEING SO AWESOME YOU MAKE MY TUMBLR/LIFE SO MUCH BETTER MY BRO

OH MY GOODNESS HELLO THERE SWEET ANON WHOSE IDENTITY I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA OF. NOPE NOT ME. NOT A SINGLE CLUE.

AND ISN’T THIS JUST YOUR LUCKY DAY, LUCIEN IS MY NEXT PLANNED FIC (AND ALREADY IN PROGRESS)! HOW FORTUITOUS FOR YOU 8D

LOVE YOU SWEET ANON WHO IS SO TOTALLY NOT ANYONE I KNOW. CERTAINLY NOT MY BELOVED NIGHT COURT SISTER/BRO OR MOST FAVORITE FAVORITE EVER. NOPE. ABSOLUTELY NO WAY. NO IDEA WHATSOEVER.