#henri is violet because no one else fit her lol

[warrenwaskilledbyadeer]

The knowledge that other people make aus like Milo Murphy characters as Wizard of Oz has me so relieved but so anxious

Relieved because I'm not an insane weirdo who has to hide it anymore

But anxious because now I kinda feel like I wanna talk about it??

I have a few for Amnesia that I really really like actually and I almost told a friend about one of them today but I chickened out skdjsksk

I'm shaking now gahhhh

(I apologize to my few followers who see these posts btw, I just use tumblr as a venting place because it's very easy for them to be lost in the void forever but also I got to get a little ranting/venting out of my system)

[wh-wh-whu]

Whumpmas in July 2021 Day 1 - (Re-)Introduce yourself and/or your creations!

Hi! I don’t think I ever made an actual intro post so I’m using this chance!

I am C, 25, and I have been into whump ever since I can remember (though I only learned this word much more recently, and even then I thought it was only about sickfics and stuff for a long time but that’s a story for another day). English is not my first language but I have been reading stuff in English online for over 10 years, and writing for almost as long (though not well, back then) so it’s a language I’m very comfortable using for my writing hobby (it’s even more comfortable than my mother language when it’s spicy stuff).

This blog is probably not older than a few months. I have written and published mildly whumpy stuff for fandoms I’m in before but I felt the need for content that is focused on the tropes rather than on particular characters, and on the way I found some very talented writers and their amazing OC stories. Unfortunately I can’t follow from here as this is a side blog to my fandom account and having a “messy” dash is a nightmare for me, but I check the whump main tag and the blogs of my fav creators + the people on my notes almost daily.

My masterlist is pinned, if anyone is interested. I usually write for a single fandom at a time, so now that I am dividing my time between my main fandom and whumpy stuff, I am still figuring out how to post often in both (how do you multifandom guys do it???), and it doesn’t help that this is a busy year. So my masterlist is currently short, but I hope to expand it soon.

Under the cut I rant about my works that I post here and talk a bit about my fav whump tropes

I am into slavery whump and dehumanization and this sort of thing. I’m not particularly into the “pet aesthetic” part of pet whump but I don’t mind, it and pet whump has a lot of Good Stuff so it’s probably what I have the most of in my reblogs. The part I am the most into is the whumpee having their whole life in someone else’s hand (be it a whumper or caretaker), and being unable to seek help because the whole thing is legal and socially accepted. I’m a big fan of non human whumpees (aliens, robots, clones, fantasy creatures, etc) as long as they look human, like, I want them to mostly look like a regular person but have the added angst bonus of not being one. I think the only whumpee species that is not fully humanoid that I actively search for is merpeople (all because one day I stumbled upon this art and got obsessed with the concept - I have a whole verse based on it that I hope to write soon).

As for my creations, when I was very young I would come up with whumpy scenarios but they were always random, with unrelated original characters I didn’t care much about. One day I got tired of having to come up with world rules every time, and so I made up a verse with well defined rules that I could use for all my scenarios from then on. As time passed, this verse evolved and I grew attached, I started making characters and plots and changing the rules to fit in with my new tastes. I actually started writing this story back in high school (and showed it to people, rip me) and got stuck when I realized making it more whumpy and making the characters be decent people were conflicting goals. I am currently focusing on making it whumpy and posting snippets of it on tumblr since now I know there are people who are into this stuff like I am, bless you guys (both my stories “Ni and Jay and Jane” and “Joy and Henry” come from it, focusing on different characters)

My other story that I post here is focused on my OC Violet, which I made in high school when I was learning to deal with my teen angst. She started as a self insert, but then I made it whumpy and sci fi and gave her self healing abilities and a creepy evil doctor to torture her so I guess it doesn’t even count as self insert anymore. I have three short chapters written of it that I am currently rewriting and translating, but I have a bunch of ideas, old and new, to try.

I also have in my future plans the mer verse I mentioned earlier, other characters from my big whumpy verse that I would like to write about, and a couple of fics from back when I read catboy AUs in fandoms I’m not in anymore that I want to rewrite and make whumpier. I’m basically dumping here a lot of old stuff that I see in a new light since I learned what whump is and that never reached its full potential back then because I thought no one would want to read a story only about a character suffering lol

[fandomele]

Gifset here

responding to @alltoosure​

So, your criteria was that to be included in this gifset, the argument couldn’t have been resolved and there was no potential justification for someone to be upset at Emma, such as grief?

And, yet, the very first gif is of a fight where Henry is rightfully upset at Emma for using Violets heart to make her break up with him. And comes from an episode where Emma and Henry literally make-up in that same episode and Henry is the one to take the no magic cuff off of Emma, telling her he trusts her?

How does that fit the criteria?

Even in the second gif, Henry is being a dick, but I would say the justification that people he knows keep dying or being cursed by magic and he would like his parents to get along, is as good a justification as Hook’s big brother worship.

Also David and Snow are two separate people and David has freedom of thought. If he agrees to do something or not do something with Snow, that is still on him. He is not under her thrall.

I agree, you didn’t do it on purpose, but our biases can be visable even when we try to not show them.

But look, it’s your gifset. You could make it ‘times Emma was hurt by people who were not David or Hook’ and include examples I don’t at all agree with and there isn’t reallly much I could do about it. So you do you.

Yes, it's my gifset, but it's okay if you want to comment and I'll try to explain my train of thoughts, and you can agree or disagree because it was, after all, my subjective view of it that led to it. Which can differ from yours, and that's okay. Of course I'd prefer if you believed me when I say that I didn't consciously decided to conveniently forget stuff lol but hey, I also can't make you believe that, so it's your call. I’d like to still try to explain my view of this, you don’t have to reply, or you can and disagree (though I think we’ll eventually we’ll agree to disagree), it’s fine. But I don’t know if you’ll read all this because I wrote a LOT and I’m sorry lol basically in the middle I ended up explaining the reasoning between each group of gifs. 

My criteria was: "show patterns of Emma getting unfairly treated by people and Emma not ever standing up for herself or even thanking them for it later on. Plus Ingrid (so I guess entirely messed up relationships). Plus, not every moment is going to fit because it's a gifset and I didn't want to put even more gifs."  Or it could also be said “she has an ongoing unaddressed problem with these people, here it is/here they are if it’s more than one” (I already explained point by point why I excluded some, but to be more clear I didn't exclude Regina's grief because I *always* exclude grief, but because 1) I already put Henry being mad at Emma over not trusting Regina soon after and 2) Regina had already more than ten examples in the gifset, it was beating a dead horse. Though I do feel that their reasons can count sometimes. Regina exploding with grief is similar to Killian wanting to protect his brother's honor to me, for example, but Killian apologized, Regina didn't even recognize Emma was literally returning the 'you are benched' favor that Regina and the others did to her one day ago. I'll explain later why Henry scolding Emma because he wanted his family to stick together is in the gifset but I can anticipate that it's also to show the unfair contrast in how they treated Dark Emma)

It *is* a messy gifset, because most things made perfect sense in my head and are hard to explain on paper, and maybe I should title it: Emma vs Henry, Gold, Regina, Snow, Neal, Ingrid, Liam, Walsh, and occasionally David when he gets dragged in. Also because due to the limit of ten gifs = less than 3 mb each, it’s complicate to fit stuff.  But at the same time I feel like it's still... visible that David and Killian can't compare to those examples, due to number of mistakes, amount of times they apologized/were fought over them, and how Emma drags them for what they do at times (plural, I remember Emma being pretty sharp with both father and pirate around the end of s3). I could take away the 'not trusting your gut' block (which as I’ll explain in Snow’s case represents another issue too) and keep everything else the same and suddenly Killian and David wouldn't fit anymore, but Snow, Neal and Regina would still be there. Look at the gifset without that one stripe, and tell me in which blocks David and Killian would fit: the one where they insult her often? the one where they keep getting scared of her magic (which doesn’t even show the even more irritating way the writers had Snow not be as concerned for Emma later)? The one where they accuse her of ruining their lives after being the ones who ruined hers? the one where they belittle her pain about having been betrayed and abandoned or tell her she has everything and other similar concepts? The one where they try to control her with the dagger and enjoy it? The one where they tell her she's a villain/she's bad for not trusting other people or tell her she got pulled out of her problems instead of having to fight for it? The one where they consistently, often, make her feel not good enough?   Okay, David is still there for the insensitive bit of calling the baby Neal (though that's also on the writers, not just Snowing, because they kept glorifying him even in the au world where he didn’t fit) and for the team 'we don't trust the darkness' BUT even if I blame the baby name on the writers, there is a whole stripe of Snow really dropping the ball with her magic or being insensitive, and I could easily replace the not trusting gut stripe with 'occasions in which Emma needed support and we were shown Snow helping Regina' INCLUDING the same episode where Emma nearly ripped her magic off her. So Snow fits way better, could have a whole different stripe just for her, but it feels so ooc to have Snow so calm in those moments that I feel like I should just gif the writers for being asses. 

I’ll put under read more the explanation for each gif because it’s super long - I don’t know if you’ll read it, I can’t blame you if you don’t, but at least it’s here. I’ll bold some sentences to help. 

When it comes to how I made the gifset, the first gif isn't just Henry being rightfully upset about Emma taking Violet's heart, to me it's an example of Henry, the Henry who was Regina's fan for years, rejecting Emma and judging her for everything she did (which doesn’t exactly compare to what villains in ouat usually do) while comparing her to Gold and Regina who 'showed they have changed', even though Gold very recently showed he hasn't and is only helping because in trouble with Dark Hook (and was in the underworld because Emma threatened to tell Belle he had been lying to her about not being the Dark One anymore, which he was because he took the darkness away from a dying Killian) and a Regina who is very much still battling with horrible instincts but has everybody's constant presence and vocal support, and right next to that gif you find Henry furious at Emma over not trusting that Regina will choose to do good after Robin's horrible death and asking Regina to sit back, the same exact thing Regina did THE DAY BEFORE to Emma because she was 'too emotional' about Killian's death. It's the same Henry who when Regina shuts him out because Robin maybe will go back to Marian decides to wait outside her door (after sending her baskets if I'm not wrong), who keeps telling Regina she's not a villain, who kept trying to keep his family together, but he has always, always, been shorter with Emma. Henry, who later decided to trust Emma but only after closing off to her, telling her she couldn't go with them, and all the things in the speech of the first gif, is the same person who was so offended at the thought that Emma would doubt Regina. Henry has treated better people who *weren't* recently turned into Dark Ones and nearly lost their true love/lost it than he treated her, and it counts to me. Ongoing issue between Henry and Emma: he will always be harder on Emma than on anyone else, and unfairly too at times, because he can afford not trusting her and putting half of the effort he puts on Regina when she has a bad time, but Emma is bad for doubting Regina herself. So that, to me, already becomes a pattern, because even if I blame Neal for it, he did quickly turn on Emma in s2, he did react to 'Dark One Emma' with less hope/belief than he did around Regina's villain side, because hey, like I said, when Regina, in complete control of herself, thinks she might lose Robin to Marian, locks herself in the house, doesn't speak to him, doesn't let him in, Henry is sad and tries to get to her in every way. When Emma, filled with Dark One's magic (something she started using to save Robin right when she should have been avoiding it), who did turn fully only days before when Killian was literally dying, closes herself off because she's trying to figure out a plan to fix this and nobody can know Killian is a Dark One or Killian might find out, reacts like *that* and only later offers Emma some trust again. But Emma is a bad person for not trusting Regina immediately? Unfair.  And I do like Henry, and I’m all here for Swan Believer, but that is an ongoing problem that should have been addressed/solved. 

Plus it wasn't just Henry, it was everybody in that room in that first gif. Though in Henry’s case it does connect to a bigger issue that is specific of the two of them.

And under that, examples of people not having changed all that much despite what Henry claimed and not exactly deserving of Emma’s trust, ongoing issues such as Gold constantly putting her life and Killian’s life in danger and getting forgiven and welcomed back in the family constantly, so Emma has to be okay with it. Ongoing issue with Regina: Regina gets to tell her the most awful things and is still justified, a good guy, and Emma reacting would lead to a serious fight and who knows what else.  - Gold recently trying to kill her, same day he took Killian's heart, when he was still considered an ally (I could have also put gifs later of the things I mentioned earlier but by then Emma saw him as an enemy), Regina's speech to an Emma who had just been through all that pain about how she wanted to kill Killian but resisted it (and how she doesn't like doing good but does, and how it doesn't change that she doesn't get a full happy ending - even though nobody there does with the lives they led - and how Emma was *pulled* out of darkness) 

And right under those two you get examples of Snow being scared of Emma's powers which likely did remind Emma the whole very badly phrased sentence of 'she's not what I wanted' and brought up also the 'you don't trust me' as Dark One. I don't have to explain why it's a pattern for Regina to act that way. Or how you get six different scenes with focus on Snow in which she let Emma down that way. (to bring back the two men missing, David and Killian weren't reacting in insensitive ways to her magic, 'you are not what I wanted' was unnecessary and not from David, David IS part of the scene where nobody wanted to trust Dark One Emma, and I'll explain the not trusting Emma's gut a scene later because it represents something else too. Though it does make me feel a bit better that David was shown to be losing it, in his office, about being unable to help Dark One Emma, I'll give you that in terms of biased). Ongoing issue with Snow: choosing the most insensitive way to deal with their problems and showing lack of trust in Emma/her powers (and being possibly the most calm person later when Emma was giving up her magic) 

In the ones under that, Regina also telling Emma she's acting like Cora, she lost the moral high ground, she's a villain, and the whole 'you were pulled out of darkness' as if she wasn't treated that way. Right under that, several examples of Regina insulting Emma. Clearly not something I can say Snow, or David or Killian do. Ongoing issues with Regina: she villanizes Emma at every turn, she had her ‘reasons why you suck’ speech ready when Emma was the Dark One yet still claims Emma was pulled out of the darkness (by them?) and can’t understand what Regina goes through. 

Right under that. Emma having been through a very bad life after coming to this world and Regina's you ruined my life, right next to Lily taking away another big chance Emma had to be in a good family for a while (and lying and all that) and then going 'you ruined my life'.  Ongoing issue with Regina (and Lily): even though I made your life a living hell, you don’t understand my pain and you ruined mine. 

Under that, Regina 'you have everything' so I chose to put Ingrid, another person who let her down, even though in this case Emma did get to be mad, because Emma went from bad family to bad family and then in the streets, and THEN, under that, because I mentioned the situation with Ingrid, I decided to put how Walsh, her 'fiance', was just there to control her, raped her by deception by that, tried to kill her, and wasn't even human, and Liam had one chance to have a conversation with Emma and it was like *that*. Which doesn't make it a perfect gifset, but I just kept basically going with the last ring of the chain and connecting to the last things. But it also show three entire relationships that were basically fully based on bad things from beginning to end with a bit of a redeeming moment for Liam and Ingrid. Admittedly they were more there as 'other random people who hurt her feelings a lot and Emma didn't get to vent all that much, plus it wasn't an exception to an otherwise nice relationship, it was a mess from beginning to end'. Something I cannot say about her parents or husband. Though again, I do like Ingrid and Liam. Especially Ingrid, my heart broke for her. Sort of ongoing issue with Ingrid and Walsh: the entire relationship was them trying to get Emma where they wanted her to be, lying and betraying her.  Ongoing-ish Issue with Liam: in the short span they knew each other he judged her and lied. Less fitting than the others. 

The people not trusting Emma's gut block connects to the Neal block and yes, Snow and DAVID naming their baby Neal, but also, in Snow's case too, IS a pattern of ignoring what Emma says about Neal while David is more cautious and asks things - I'll explain as much as I can without having rewatched s2 and s3 in years: with Neal and Regina it's obvious why it represents a bigger problem, with David it wouldn't because otherwise David tries to not assume what Emma wants when talking to her, he's... quieter. With Snow? It also represents Emma trying to tell her several times she's unhappy about Neal (the phonecall from Manhattan, the attempt to talk about how she kissed Killian, but also yes, Tamara) and Snow still acting as if she knows that in reality Emma just wants to be with him. As much as I do love Snow, so I'm not sure of how the whole biased thing comes into play here, because I do believe that me now loving David more depends on the fact that I haven't seen the same behaviors from him, not constantly, and it does count for me that he needed convincing from Snow several times even if he relented at the end, since I started the show adoring both of them and then WITH TIME my appreciation for Snow diminished when it comes to her dealing with Emma. Ongoing issue with Snow showed here: dismissing Emma’s words several times so the conversation could go back to what Snow believed to be true.  Ongoing issue with Regina and Neal there, similarly: not believing in Emma’s skills/her words 

... also because the writers wanted Regina to have a good ally and picked Snow, and honestly I find ooc that many times Snow wasn't just as involved and agitated as David when Emma wasn't okay. EVEN IF Snow's reactions to Emma's magic were understandable in context, though she could have sure as hell handled them better - it was ridiculous the way she held baby Neal back and shook her head looking down as if afraid Emma was going to kill them both for it, why didn't she just say 'Emma you just warmed up the baby bottle too much, can you wait a minute? You know how anxious I get about the baby' - in the end they were all coming from her even if she kept dragging David into it by making it 'our reaction' instead of 'my reaction', yet at the very end I remember in that episode everybody looking for Emma but Snow being so CHILL about it, walking and talking about Regina's love life? Able to focus on that when Emma was possibly destroying a part of her as they spoke? So the few gifs of Snow represent both that, and the bit I said about lack of trust that Henry is only mad about when it comes to Regina. The writers piled up behaviors that I disliked on Snow, which is why she's in the gifset while they feel far less of a pattern with David. Snow is the one who said the most insensitive sentence in Neverland, Snow was the parent convinced Neal was Emma's love and Emma was jealous, Snow was the one who kept having conversations with Regina or about Regina and suggesting parties and all that while Emma was alone/in pain/looking for ways to take her magic out. Even in the Underworld we got some Snow/Regina friendship. Snow is the one who was so sure they had to find a way to take out any possibility that Emma would turn evil (bullshit plot that makes no sense) because of the unicorn. Snow loved Emma so much, it's visible, it's not a matter of not caring, but she was the leading force of many mistakes and due to plot reasons showed far less worry and realistic reactions so she ended up here too.

And last block, a little mix of Regina's irony 'the more you try to help the worse you make my life' = helping her in Camelot by controlling her with the dagger. You don't think of consequences = begging Emma to save Robin. And right with that 'you never had my back' and enjoying her second use of the dagger to command Emma to shut up. Ongoing issues with Regina: lack of respect, enjoying  physically controlling Emma, blaming Emma for everything while it’s acceptable if she does the same, exaggerating Emma’s flaws so make herself a victim and insulting Emma at every viable turn. 

If I had added ALL the scenes I decided not to put, not just Killian at the date (because again, the underworld doesn't fit at all, not when he apologized and it was the one time he went NOPE) or... David not being sure about Henry 'not being okay' after Neverland, but all the other scenes from Regina and Neal and Gold and Snow, I'm sure that the reaction would have been the exact same of the original gifset, simply because 'ah look, the one time Killian and David are there it's because they are hammering the concept that Emma should try to enjoy some of her free time and not always be alert, meanwhile the others gratuitously insult her or hurt her or abandon her when in literal danger of losing herself'. Even if they were all here and you compared them to the gut feeling block only you get 'Neal and Regina never trusted her, Killian and David want her to take a break on being the Savior for a day and Mary Margaret is telling her she's too emotional for her skill to work'.

I didn't put Killian and David because there was no pattern of continuous lack of belief/support, let alone an Emma who was always so submissive about it, and I didn't put August who *had* a pattern because he did his best to fix it and Emma got to be mad at him too, then let it go but he's not there making it worse. I guess I could erase Ingrid to make it look better, but that does fit another general theme that is 'Emma's life suck'? Though considering that Ingrid's whole relationship with Emma *was* about lying and manipulating, just like Walsh even if with better intentions, it kinda fits better than people making a couple of mistakes while normally loving and supporting her. So thinking about it, it still fits. Because they are not exceptions to a rule, they are all part of a bigger picture of either insults, lack of belief, lack of sensitivity, unfairness, or more than one at a time, and that allowed to me make many gifs because there were many scenes, or  to make a gif to represent the bigger issue (Again, Ingrid is the example, or Walsh).

So in conclusion, the pattern has to be: 'people systematically doing these things to Emma and Emma either never bringing those things up or even thanking them for their friendship and support OR people Emma got to be mad at but whose entire relationship/interactions were on false premises anyway and they did end up hurting her no matter what (and let's be honest, there wasn't even that much venting about it after)'. David and Killian don't fit, they fit the pattern of messing up a couple of times, the couple of times I actually mentioned in the other reply so you know it's not a constant, and sometimes even apologizing for it, but having otherwise a regular relationship with Emma where yeah, sometimes they argue, which is healthy, sometimes one of the three lets it go, sometimes apologies are required, but you can also make many gifs of the two men being like 'I believe in you!' 'you can do this!' which helps a lot. You can’t say “damn it, David/Killian, you always end up doubting Emma/you always get scared easily/you always have less patience and understanding with her!” it’s not a big Issue, especially not one that never gets talk about. 

So yeah I'm biased, but I still feel that I'm biased BECAUSE I can write all of this, not that I'm writing all of it because I'm biased.