#i scream into the void

[warrenwaskilledbyadeer]

Why is it so hard for aroace people to just get basic respect

[averywiseanimatedcat]

Sometimes ADHD is funny, then you reach your limit of being a perpetual fuck up for the week and your self esteem breaks down

I grabbed the crushed ginger instead of crushed garlic and how I have a bowl full of ginger butter.

It’s only fucking Tuesday.

[lunar-years]

"I've noticed that sometimes having a tough dad is exactly what drives some fellas to become great at what they do. You know I hear Bono's father was a real piece of work but then again, so was Joshua Tree, so you know 🤷‍♂️" Ted literally should have been banned from ever speaking on Jamie's father again after this one because what a wild thing to say to someone you witnessed being physically and verbally abused by their father ?? 'sorry your dad sucks but maybe you'll be a great player because you were abused <3' UM? Not to mention Jamie JUST told you that actually, his "tough dad" became such a problem that it drove him to do anything to get himself away from the situation including abandoning the thing he's "great at" and thereby tanking his mental health like????

[finsmultiverse]

I’m gonna rip my heart out of my chest I wanna shift so bad please please it’s like a burning ache in my veins I need to hug my friends and feel their touch I’ve been waiting for so long why why why is this so hard for me

[d3eathcurbing]

guys Wally Darling is not a yandere or an evil mastermind, what you are seeing is autistic rizz in action

[nightingalesighs]

I’ve got a fucking migraine. The adhesive on this fucking monitor is sensory hell. I cannot get fucking comfortable.

[sirareyouthere]

My main issue with my gender being a little fluid and hopping all over the place on the neutral-to-male side of the spectrum is that my attitude towards hrt changes with it. There are times when I'm ready to sell my soul to the actual devil just to get to take testosterone, there are times when I feel pretty indifferent about it and at other times I'd rather eat my shoes than start hrt. How am I meant to continue a transition when I can't even seem to be clear on what the goals are? There are some effects such as facial hair that I'd never say no to, but others, like the deeper voice, I can't seem to make up my mind on. Sometimes I want the deeper voice so badly but sometimes the thought makes me a little uncomfortable. For the last 3-4 months my gender's been feeling pretty masc but I can't start taking t for fear that the tides will change, although right now, I really, really want to.

[hats-and-lamps]

<<DA2 Spoilers>>

Been rewatching Thomas and Richard's scenes from DA1, and a bit of dialogue stuck out to me. Then it all clicked.

After the police station rescue, Thomas says, "I'm not sure I've shown enough gratitude for what you did," and it hit me like a bus. He was expecting Richard to now hold this rescue over him as a way to control him or get favors. He was waiting for Richard to claim this "gratitude." Looking back over the show, whenever Thomas was close to someone, it was always because that person was using him in some way: the Duke, especially O'Brian—I'm blanking on the others—But whenever anyone did something nice for him, he always thought that kindness was done for the sole purpose of building his debt to that person.

All through his scenes with O'Brian, it was always a, "do this thing for me, and I'll help you out here, so you can later help me out there." There was always a tally of who's done what for who. They would help each other out but only so they could hold that favor over the other's head. It was a toxic relationship that Thomas always seemed to get the wrong end of. Then into season three with Jimmy, Thomas didn't even dare ask for Jimmy's friendship until he had gotten himself beat up for the kid. He was physically beaten for Jimmy and only then did he feel comfortable reaching out for that friendship.

When Thomas met Andy, he kept trying to do favors for him in hopes that he'd get his friendship too. But it was always because Thomas was doing something for Andy. This is literally the only way the poor man knows how to make friends!!  Later with Baxter, he couldn't understand why she was helping him after he had been so mean to her. It just didn't register in his little traumatized brain. He pushed her away until he finally had to accept that she was genuinely being kind to him, and that was a behavior people could have towards him.

Jumping back to DA1, Thomas meets this really nice fellow who's fun to hang out with then bam! now Thomas is in his debt because of the police station thing. The pattern is already laid out in Thomas's mind: this man only did this so he can get something from Thomas in the future or use him. Thomas is uneasy, knowing Richard is going to hold it over him now, but then he just doesn't. Thomas is waiting for the, "oh yes, actually I'll be expecting favors from you in the future, because you are in my debt. I OWN you because I helped you." But instead, Richard just dismisses the whole thing with his, "we have to stick together, men like us." It's so cute seeing Thomas's mindset go from, "oh no, what do I have to do to be even with him again," to, "oh, oh wait, he doesn't want anything in return??? We're really just two blokes having a conversation??? Have I just made a FRIEND?!" And he needs that. so much.

...

Then I got hit over the head with Thomas's plot in DA2. Thomas gets whisked off to Hollywood so he can live a free and glamorous life. Sounds great on paper, but looking at the deal he was given, it was just that: a deal... His whole life was filled with relationships built on propositions. Relationships based on,"here, do all this for me then we'll see about what I can do for you." It makes me sick. Thomas is right back to where he was before. And he walks right into it, because that's what he's been conditioned to expect from friendly people. They always want something from him and every nice little thing they do comes with a price. He's so used to it, that it doesn't even stand out to him anymore. This is the environment he knows. Of course he runs right back into it as soon as his heart is broken. Why should he believe in people anymore, or unconditional love?

[anxiousworm]

I’m currently really into pokemon again so oc idea: two trainers/rangers who go on adventures across the regions and disprove common myths about pokemon. Like is water directly from a water type safe to drink (the answer is no) and other stuff. Lots of angst opportunities bc oho pokemon kinda fucks

Mostly just happy that now I have a place to put some villain ocs I was struggling with

[hikikomorriis]

do i doodle more of my oc or do i try and doodle some of the new outfits,,,,,,,,,,,

[warrenwaskilledbyadeer]

I was explaining all the relationships between SG-1 to my 13yo cousin last night and I think I did a pretty good job at it, this is what I told her:

Jack and Teal'c are best friends

Jack and Sam have a crush on each other but can't do anything about it since they're both in the military together

Daniel and Sam are best friends

And Jack and Daniel... they're like family, so they love each other but they also hate each other SO much

And I adore each and every one of them ^_^

[lets-hang-out-in-the-vortex]

The costume designs of Ever After: A Cinderella Story (1998) slap so fucking hard but do they trump the costumes of Aschenbrödel (1973)?

Like I want the hazelnut tights so much, the whole fit is so cute! Maybe I will make some pants like that as my next sewing project :)

And that cloak has had me glued to the screen since I'm ten my guy urgh

But also the whole renaissance setting of ever after with the whole glitter makeup and the shoes from Leonardo da Vinci lmao

[sparklesquids]

Something that’s come up a lot today for some reason (probably because of new years resolutions or something? idk all our friends are talking about it or we’re finding stuff online for some reason) has to be exercise as a form of therapy for mental and/or physical health 

and I usually see a lot of our disabled friends talking about how exercise doesn’t help alleviate their symptoms, especially for things like chronic pain or fatigue where exercise has famously proven to be detrimental to some sufferers’ health

but I also really want people to recognize that for some people exercise really can help, and it shouldn’t be immediately discounted in all scenarios

I also want people to realize that this is a multifactorial recommendation that can be summed up in three parts: Get fresh air, move your body if/when you can, and practice self care 

These things of course will be a general little piece that tends to help people feel a little bit better in a variety of scenarios, it should not be a painful strenuous thing like weight lifting or running a marathon (unless that is a personal goal) 

The metaphor I use is: Exercise is like a band-aid, it’s not a treatment option, just a little something that helps in minor cases of pain or injury. if someone gets shot you don’t give them a band-aid, you give them a more intensive and supportive treatment option, you don’t tell them to put on a band-aid and call them lazy when it doesn’t help. If someone is allergic to latex or something in the band-aid you don’t give them a band aid and complain when it makes the situation worse, you actually help them instead. 

I always think there is validity in little acts of self care when it comes to supporting someone with depression or anxiety, and sometimes exercise is a part of that (for us it’s gentle yoga when we can manage), and sometimes it’s not 

FR though, stop recommending exercise as a “treatment” to random disabled or mentally ill people you don’t know, it’s not a treatment in the first place and you really think they haven’t tried????? I’ve seen people tell 35 year olds with chronic fatigue they should try exercising, like you think in 35 whole years they haven’t thought of that lmao, what’s your deal 

/rant /ramble

[scenicphoenix]

You know looking back on when my sister was questioning her gender and was trying different names and pronouns, I was so happy for her and was so supportive. I was ready to fucking move with her if it meant she got to be happy and herself. And what am I getting exactly? Terf views and her defending a bitch that wants me and so many others (especially tran women) dead because "sHe'S jUsT pRoTeCtINg ReAl WoMeN"

And her reasoning for misgendering me? She hates herself so much, that if she can't see herself as a boy/man then why should I get to happily be one. I get more goddamned acceptance from my goddamned mother than her. My mom doesn't understand shit, she thinks it's a phase, but as long as I am not hurting anyone, I'm happy, and she gets to keep calling me Megan and she/her she's golden. My sister literally decided that she hates herself (and men and especially trans women) so much that she refuses to see me as a man in any meaningful way. My mom is ignoring it in a "okay, but can I still call you this?" Kinda way. My sister is being hostile.

I usually could care less about pronouns and names. I'm gender in a very Queer way. She/her, fine. He/him, fine. Them/they, fine. It/it's, fine. I barely exist mentally half the time, I feel like tv static. But my sister, I am so damn close to just banning she/her pronouns, you are not allowed sister privileges, if you will smirk at me like you caught me red handed for calling myself a woman you do not have a sister you have a brother. You don't deserve to have a sister. You get a brother from now on. Mom somehow has daughter privileges and my sister doesn't have sister privileges how fucking FUNNY

Note: i currently don't have a beard like my avatar does, that is wishful thinking about the future. I have no idea how either my mom or sister will react to me getting on T (if I'm ever able to). Especially since that will probably make me look and sound a shit ton more like my shit head dad, and I already look a lot like him already. I'm him if he was short and had my moms voice basically, my dad was a big man he basically had DDs like I do anyway LOL. When I drew that avatar I am using I went "shit I DO look a lot like him don't I? Just need the long hair and the beard." ....I am thinking about growing my hair out like he had it. I liked my dad's hair as a kid. He had longer hair than my mom, so I don't really gender hair. What's the point of gendering hair? I can barely gender myself most the time my gender is nothing and everything at the same goddamned time

[uhhh-ghouls007]

This song is so Pacific Rim (2013)

[nightingalesighs]

This new medication that makes carbonated drinks taste fucking awful is really testing me. Like. I JUST WANT MY FUCKING DIET COKE. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK???