#her learning to love badeline because at the end of the say she was trying to protect her

[ponett]

Got a spoilery ask about SLARPG regarding Melody's character arc and, to a lesser extent, the ending, so I'll put this below a read more!

Anonymous asked:

Heya! I adore adore adore SLARPG, and have latched pretty hard onto Melody and Harmony's dichotomy for a while... I was wondering whether you saw Harmony more as an obstacle to Melody's growth, or something to be worked on and reconciled with more like Madeline and Badeline from Celeste? Unless it's spoilers of course. It's one of the few threads left open after the game, and as a plural woman myself I was just curious. X3

I'll say up front that I've generally avoided stepping in and telling people what The One Correct Interpretation is for a lot of things in SLARPG. I didn't intend for Melody to be read as plural, since in the story Harmony is a parasitic outside force, but I also understand where that interpretation comes from and won't tell folks they're wrong for relating to her like that. That's just the beauty of art. We can relate to things however we want. I just wanna make sure my personal framing is clear before I talk about the thought behind Melody and Harmony's relationship

Harmony is more of a literary device than a character. While she's not an alternate personality for Melody, she's also not really a full person in her own right. I don't think about Harmony having her own arc. She's a magical force that occasionally externalizes Melody's darker, more self-critical thoughts for the audience, where normally she would keep them to herself. She has her own design and name to make the dialogue boxes easier to follow. I also keep it intentionally vague whether or not other people would be able to see Harmony because I find that understated uncertainty more fun.

On a literal level, Harmony is a magical parasite, and therefore an obstacle to be overcome. She's not supposed to be there, straight up. But because she's just the embodiment of dark thoughts that Melody is already having, there isn't really much point in "defeating" Harmony to me - which is why things play out the way they do.

Even if Melody got rid of Harmony, she would still have to deal with those feelings. It would be a purely symbolic victory. And symbolic victories like that are often satisfying as hell in fiction, but in real life you can't defeat your shadow self to stop those 3am "what if my friends are only pretending to like me" thoughts. So instead, Harmony is something Melody needs to cope with and minimize. It's not about getting rid of bad thoughts forever, but rather learning how to deal with them better. And that's an active, life-long process. And so Harmony remains, but Melody is working on having healthier relationships with both her loved ones and herself.

I'll also say that, while I love Celeste, Madeline and Badeline's arc is mostly irrelevant to the way I write Melody and Harmony. (I don't think this ask is accusing me of plagiarizing Maddy Thorson or anything, to be clear. I'm just on a tangent since the comparison was brought up.) SLARPG began development in 2015, so the Harmony scenes, and Melody's arc as a whole, were already planned before Celeste came out. While I worried about getting compared to a much more popular game, I stuck to my guns, knowing that my story was different enough to stand on its own. If anything, I just avoided specific phrases like "reflection" or "I'm a part of you" to try and keep people from just pointing and going "Celeste reference!"

Unfortunately the "wow this is just like Celeste" comments were unavoidable, as were the newfound generalizations about what all indie games about trans girls with anxiety must be like because there are two (2) whole games that share some common story tropes, and it seems like the ending may have thrown some people off because of expectations created by Celeste. But what are you gonna do? I at least avoided my absolute nightmare scenario of Deltarune Ch.2 doing glitch aesthetics or giving Susie and Noelle a kiss mechanic lmao

[mentalhealthandgames]

Analysis on Celeste:

Celeste is an Indie 2D platformer developed and published by ‘Extremely OK Games’. Its plot is simpler than the ones of the other two games as it consists of much more gameplay (consisting of platforming) than the other games I am discussing: it’s about a girl whose default name is Madeline who wants to climb a mountain called Celeste Mountain.

Madeline has anxiety, and has to learn breathing techniques to prevent panic attacks. I think this is good because breathing techniques are very useful against panic attacks, and the way they are incorporated in the game means the player can practice them alongside Madeline which might encourage them to use breathing techniques in real life in situations where they may be needed. Although the gameplay mechanic of using the breathing technique to progress is shown to not always be successful, I think this is also important because sometime breathing techniques or other coping mechanisms won’t work. For me, for example I have had many times where breathing techniques have helped me get through my panic attacks more easily and many other times when I’ve been far too overwhelmed to focus on them properly and therefore struggle with the panic attack for longer.  The way the game makes the player help Madeline through her panic attacks I think also provokes empathy in the player as it really puts them in her shoes.

The player never finds out the cause of Madeline’s mental health conditions, which I also think is a good thing, because most media shows mental health conditions as caused by severe trauma, and that can be the case, as trauma is seen as a common cause for most mental health problems. However depression and/or anxiety can also be caused by other factors, such as stress, lack of sleep, drug or alcohol abuse or a combination of similar factors or by trauma that isn’t as severe as ones shown in media. There is some discussion in mental health communities of how the idea mostly spread by the media that most people with mental health conditions have developed them as a result of severe trauma can be harmful to people whose mental health conditions developed as a result of other factors. This is because it can make people feel that their mental health problems are not as valid or serious as those of people’s that did develop from severe trauma, which is not the case, as all mental health problems are valid and should be treated seriously. Therefore the fact that the cause of Madeline’s mental health problems is not explained makes it more relatable for more people with mental health conditions and also might bring awareness to people who don’t have mental health problems that they can just be a part of life that developed without any severe trauma as the direct cause.

A main part of the plot is a character who I have seen referred to as either Madeline’s subconscious or the physical representation of her mental health conditions, known as ‘A Part of [Madeline]’ in the game and referred to as Badeline by fans and in game extras. I will refer to her as Badeline simply because it is easier. Badeline consistently attempts to prevent Madeline from completing her climb of Mount Celeste, mocking, chasing and fighting her. In Chapter 6 of the game, Madeline after a talk with her friend Theo (who had taught her the breathing technique), confronts Badeline, saying: “you’re everything I need to leave behind”. Badeline gets aggressive and when Madeline tries to use her breathing exercise Badeline stops it from working and Madeline falls down all the way back to the base of the mountain. There she once again meets a recurring character simply known as Granny, who recommends that Madeline talks to Badeline instead of fighting her, saying “figure out why she’s so scared”. When Madeline finds Badeline again she tries to talk to her, and tries to convince her to join forces. Badeline gets angry and they then start to fight. Badeline then says: “Fine. You win. I guess you don’t need me after all. If you want me to go away, I’ll try.” Madeline replies: “that’s not what I want. I need your help now more than ever. Please. Let’s work together… it’s okay to be scared.” They then hug and recombine into a levelled up version of Celeste who finally is able to finish climbing the mountain (or rather fly through it). “Madeline never “defeats” her anxiety and depression. Though you spend the majority of the trek fighting against and trying to escape [Badeline]—or, rather, her self-loathing and low self-esteem—you ultimately crest the mountain by realizing that mental illness isn’t something you can browbeat into submission. Madeline learns that hating her anxiety and depression only exacerbate their effects. By accepting every facet of her personality, and learning to be kinder to herself, Madeline finally climbs Celeste Mountain. “Creating this game and guiding Madeline through her journey made it obvious to me that acceptance was the only way forward,” Thorson wrote me. We all owe ourselves that kind of realization” (Clarke, 2018). I think this message of acceptance is a very important one. People with mental health conditions spend a lot of their time struggling against their conditions and trying to regain control of their life, but accepting their mental health conditions as part of life can actually make it easier to carry on with their life. This is a message that really resonated with me personally as when I was hearing voices as a result of my psychosis I felt like I was constantly fighting against myself to try and move forward. This ending, of Madeline accepting all of herself, subverts expectations and stereotypes, as most people see mental health something to be pushed down, hidden or beaten.

Maddy Thorson (the creator of Celeste) has said that the game is based on their own experiences with mental health as well as those of their team. “Our top priorities were to tell a story that meant something to us and explore these topics from a individual perspective, to draw players into this world with these characters we grew to love,” Thorson said. “Our intention going in wasn’t to represent mental illness in general, or to make a ‘how to deal with depression’ guide, and we didn’t think to consult professionals on the topic” (Grayson, 2018). This makes the representation feel extremely genuine. The game has been praised by many fans and critics for how relatable its mental health representation is. It is incredibly successful for an Indie game and given that the story is entirely about mental health, this implies that mental health representation that feels genuine and relatable is important for a lot of people. Maddy Thorson, when asked “how many copies has Celeste sold to date?” in an interview from 2019, said: “I don't have an exact up-to-date number, but I know we're coming up on a million copies soon. Which is unbelievable to us” (Marks, 2019). Given that the interview is from 2 years ago, the amount of copies sold is likely past one million by now.

The game is a platformer and was designed to be extremely difficult, but also to give hope and encourage the player not to give up, which I think is echoed in the message as Madeline is shown to be brave for accepting herself and her mental health problems, which is essentially the opposite of giving up. The game also has an ‘assist mode’ which includes motivational phrases such as “you can do this” to encourage the player to keep on going and the difficulty of the game can itself also be seen as trying to represent how difficult struggles with mental health can be. I think the game was made for people with mental health conditions in mind as a large part of the target audience as Maddy Thorson said it was therapeutic to make and clearly shares their own, and their team’s experiences with mental health and so is relatable for a lot of people with mental health conditions. In fact almost every review I read on Celeste also included the reviewer sharing their own mental health experiences and how the game resonated with them.

Overall it is probably the most popular of the games I am discussing and I think that is for a good reason. I found it an incredibly striking and genuine story of struggling with mental health with important messages such as ‘don’t give up’ and ‘self-acceptance is important’. These messages are said often and can be patronising but playing the game and experiencing Madeline’s struggle to accept herself and to manage to achieve her goal while struggling with her mental health makes those phrases feel real and possible to achieve.

References:

Marks, T (2019) Celeste Sequel (Probably) Won’t Happen, Developer Says. Available at:

https://www.ign.com/articles/2019/09/07/celeste-developer-doesnt-want-to-make-a-sequel-new-game-in-the-works (accessed at: 24 February 2021)

Clarke, N (2018) My Biggest Revelations of 2018 Came From an Indie Video Game. Available at:

https://www.vice.com/en/article/pa5937/my-biggest-revelations-of-2018-came-from-an-indie-video-gameAccessed at: 24 February 2021)

[unnoticedgenius]

Eevee the Gamer: Celeste

(CONTAINS SPOILERS.  Just so you know.)

I’m back!

Yes, I know it’s been a while.  Yes, I know I should update more regularly.  But I’m afraid life has kept me quite busy.

However, in that time, I thought of a great side section of this blog where I can work on reviewing games I think need more attention, which I’ve decided to call Eevee the Gamer!  (I’m super subtle, right? ;)

For today’s Eevee the Gamer I’ve chosen to review the videogame Celeste, which is one of the most difficult and rewarding games I think I’ve ever played.  I’ll link the creator’s website below so you can investigate further on your own, but for those who don’t know, Celeste is available on a number of platforms, including Nintendo Switch, XboxOne, Playstation 4, and Steam.

The basic plot of the game (summed up Reader’s Digest style) is that the main character, Madeline, climbs the mountain Celeste and along the way makes friends, enemies, and discoveries about the mountain’s incredible powers and her own mind.

What makes this game unique is that Celeste is not simply a game where you climb up a mountain.  Celeste is a game which brings you into the mind of someone who struggles with a mental illness; Madeline, as is revealed throughout the game, struggles with major anxiety, depression, and panic attacks.  As you play the game, you are brought into Madeline’s mind through the mountain’s magical powers; you face her fears and have to fight through the mountain (quite literally in some places).  Each level grows more and more difficult, and with the increase in difficulty comes an increase in emotional attachment to Madeline–and the rest of the cast.

In terms of a simple review, Celeste is challenging and rewarding, with a great storyline, unpredictable twists and turns, and some of the most perfect music to accompany such a storyline.  It has both difficulty and accessability with the Assist Mode, which enables the player to essentially change the difficulty so that she can access the game in the way that works best for her.

But I want to say more.

Everyone in the world needs to play this game.  People who struggle with a mental illness need to play this game so they can see that there are ways to deal with these illnesses, to know they are not alone.  People who don’t struggle with a mental illness need to play this game so they can take a glimpse into the mind of someone else, to recognize that these are very real and very dangerous struggles.  Celeste isn’t a game worth passing over just because it’s hard or it doesn’t feature RPG-style battles or slash-‘em-up techniques.  This is something everyone needs.

I’ve always been a gamer.  I played Ocarina of Time when I was a kid and that, to me, summed up what a good game should be: not too hard, accessible to everyone, with a great storyline and music, and a satisfying ending.  Celeste is everything a good game should be, but more than that, it addresses an issue that’s becoming bigger and bigger in our society today: how do we deal with mental illnesses?  Do we try to cut them out of our souls?  Do we take heavy medication to make the pain go away?  Do we try to fend it off unassisted without ever saying a word to anyone?  What is the answer to a mental illness?

Celeste, true to its style, enables the player to extrapolate that answer for herself.  After a Part of Madeline (referred to as Badeline) escapes from an enchanted mirror near the bottom of the mountain, Madeline does everything she can to run away from or destroy Badeline, and in doing so, she puts herself and her newfound friends into serious and very real danger.  Trying to escape or hurt Badeline she faces does nothing to help Madeline, while the creepy-looking Badeline claims to be helping while doing everything she can to stop Madeline from climbing the mountain.  In the end, Madeline realizes that she cannot destroy this Part of Herself.  She must unite with it.

It is then that Badeline begins to run rather than chase, and Madeline must capture her.  When she catches up, Madeline recognizes, for the first time, that Badeline is frightened.  That she wants to run away from everything that’s difficult or dangerous.  And it is only then that Madeline can make true progress up the mountain; she and Badeline work together to climb the mountain.  Their success comes as a united effort between Madeline and her anxiety.

This, I feel, is what makes Celeste a great game, and a worthy purchase for anyone and everyone.  Madeline doesn’t destroy her anxiety in some magical or self-esteem building way; she uses her anxiety to become a stronger, more whole being.  Mental illnesses cannot be banished.  They cannot be destroyed.  They must remain inside our minds, and it is only through learning how to work with our illnesses that we can truly become whole.

HOWEVER.  If someone with a mental illness finds that medication or other safe methods of coping are helping him/her manage the mental illness, he/she should not give those up just because Madeline was able to survive without them.  That’s my caveat: don’t give up on things that work if they’re working now.  But if you don’t have something that helps you cope yet, consider a playthrough of Celeste as an aid to learning to cope.  No videogame or blog post can be a doctor or psychiatrist; if you have need of help, get it now.

That’s something else Celeste does; it shows that those with mental illnesses are benefited by kind, caring, and compassionate friends.  Madeline becomes friends with another traveler named Theo, who-between taking selfies and cracking jokes-creates a compassionate connection that Madeline is able to derive strength from.  Their friendship is one of the greatest things in Celeste; Theo is able to help calm Madeline during a panic attack and stays patient with her through the whole game.  He supports her in whatever efforts she chooses to make and is available when she needs to talk to him.  To those of you who know someone who struggles with a mental illness: be like Theo.  Be compassionate.  Be patient.  Support your friends in their struggles.  They need you more than they know how to express, and your patience with them is a kindness they can never thank you enough for–and they’ll probably thank you a lot between saying sorry for being an inconvenience to you.  Don’t ever put down their struggle or say it’s only in their head.  Remember, they need you more than they can say.  Your friendship is a precious gift to them.  And understand that even when they’re busy apologizing for the umpteenth time that they’ve caused you any trouble or discomfort, they love and appreciate you more than words can express.

On top of the game’s already incredible story, Celeste’s composer (Lena Raine) created a perfect score that matches each moment in the game; the soundtrack that accompanies Celeste is perfect for highlighting the difficulty and pain Madeline is going through.  I’m not well-versed in music theory, but I know what music feels like, and that’s the best part about this soundtrack.  Every piece is a perfect companion to when it occurs in the game; the track that plays during Madeline’s first (in-game) panic attack displays that terrible feeling so well that I was getting anxious and nearly had a panic attack myself while playing.  That is no easy feat for a composer, but Raine did a perfect job in writing music that would stir these feelings in people.  From Madeline’s panic attacks to the moment she becomes one with Badeline to the climax of the story, each piece of the score is a perfect reflection of what is happening in the story and brings out the feelings the characters are experiencing.

Celeste deserves a hundred stars (out of ten) for its gameplay/storytelling/immersive experience.  For me, Celeste was a fully-immersive game that reflected pains and struggles in my life.  I struggle with bipolar disorder; some of the side effects for me have been increased anxiety and occasional panic attacks.  But in some ways, the game hit too close to home for me; I would get frustrated and anxious while trying to beat the levels.  There came a point where I couldn’t continue to progress (and the game was only available to me for a few weeks), so I turned on the assist mode.  Assist mode made Celeste more accessible to me, because it removed the barrier my own illness had created.  For my brother and my sister, the game was perfect the way it was; neither needed assist mode the way I did, and my sister struggles with social anxiety.

One of the greatest things Celeste has done is highlight a brand-new facet of videogaming that I’m not sure has ever been fully considered before: gaming for awareness.  This game is more than a game and shows that there’s a whole new world of videogame storytelling available for creators to use.  Celeste has a perfect balance between gameplay and story and uses both to raise awareness of an issue that millions currently face.  If you haven’t played Celeste yet, give it serious consideration and don’t miss an opportunity to learn–or to share it with your friends so they have a chance to see inside your mind.  To admit that, to ask them to share in your struggle, might feel awkward or even painful; however, we need our friends.  And we need them to understand what we’re going through.  There is no challenge in the world that isn’t made worse by trying to face it alone.  We can’t succeed alone.  There may be times where we have to stand alone, but in those times, we should know that there are friends behind us, friends who believe in what we can do.

Please.  If you’re a gamer, if you’re not a gamer, if you struggle with a mental illness, if you don’t have any trouble with mental illnesses, consider purchasing and playing through this incredible game.  Its story highlights the painful and challenging life of a person with a mental illness, and that story is one everyone needs to be aware of.  We all need to be part of this discussion–and the solution.  For the hardcore gamers in the world, this game will challenge you–maybe not at first, but with the progression of each level, things only get more difficult.  For the non-gamers out there, assist mode is available to make the game accessible so you can experience the story without wanting to throw the controller away every time you fall down.  Buy this game; it’s worth every penny.

Eevee the Gamer’s rating for Celeste: 10/10.

http://www.celestegame.com/