#her mom would go on angry rants about homosexuals | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sammygender · 1 year

Text

every time i read one of the all so common transphobic articles about the worrying rise in girls transitioning or what fucking ever it’s only like two paragraphs before they start going on about how Many girls feel it is easier to come out as trans male than a lesbian. are you absolutely fucking kidding me. being gay is shit but this is not 1993 it TRULY is not that uncommon or that taboo. i am the first to say that it’s not as easy as the whole ‘gen z are so progressive’ movement makes out it is but the same applies to being trans one hundred fucking times more. sure, when i was 13 and i tried to come out to my mom as into girls she shut me down pretty quick, but by the time i was 16 she was ready for that because the truth is by this point gay people have been in the public consciousness for a while. meanwhile my transness destroys her. lesbians are in tv and they’re all over tiktok and sooooo many 12 year old girls identify as some variant of wlw now, in 2023, in an averagely liberal area. and the average liberal parent isn’t going to care Much if their kid is gay but they very easily might send you to conversion therapy if you’re trans. these days in the uk you don’t get isolated from a friend group the same for mentioning your ex of the same gender in most cases, but correcting someone on a pronoun gets you branded as the crazy transgender in a microsecond and then everyone’ll stay away from you. into more personal experiences: if i told my colleagues (of at least some i’m sure are homophobic) i liked girls (which they’d perceive as gay) i’d get treated weird sure but if my work found out i was trans and not just some quirky little tomboy who the kids mix up the gender of i would 100% be fired.

anyway sorry this is turning into a crazy little rant it just makes me so angry bc this bullshit is everywhere. and it cherry picks the rare detransitioner experience like the ex-gay movement of the 2000s used to and then tells the story of hundreds of other trans people through the eyes of a journalist or a medical practitioner who clearly comes into this not believing them and refers to people consistent in their identity as the opposite and expects us to do the same. literally makes me want to cry because it’s people who have never made the effort to know a trans person and they get to make all the decisions they get to write their little fucking articles in the spectator or the independent or the fucking guardian and they get to put it as this very clear issue where young girls are being duped and medicalised and told there is something wrong with them WHICH OBVIOUSLY ANY RATIONAL PERSON WOULD BE AGAINST and they don’t make any effort to try and understand even though people have been DOING this for hundreds of years it’s just never been this Public before and they’re so cruel about it. & what about the hundreds upon hundreds of adult trans people of whom transitioning saved them? & what about the fact that, in your entire article, you cite 2 detransitioners and just talk about how Certain you are that everyone currently transitioning will regret it without any actual other proof? do you realise that ninety percent of people who transition have no other options and have to do shit like cut off their family or work in different fields than they wanted or lose the ability to raise kids or be poor forever affording it or all of the above?? and of course even if they didn’t it’d still be fine but i just want to make the point to these fucking people that we’re not doing this for fun i would actually literally genuinely murder a human being if it let me be cisgender because it would be so easy & i’ve hated myself for being gay before sure but never to this insane point because at least the world recognises, these days, that homophobia isn’t morally GREAT, and we don’t get articles in every fucking newspaper about the cult of homosexuality young teenagers are recruited into. and i know the process of being trans is fucking weird. that’s bc it IS fucking weird. i just hate it so much no one makes one tiny effort to try and understand it’s just whiplash and Concern and I think we should be very careful what we let children do to themselves…. And like to be perfectly fucking honest i think we should be very careful that we don’t let children kill themselves bc transitioning has a crazy high reduction rate in suicides and if any antidepressant had that suicide reduction rate it’d be a fucking miracle. and yes we should treat kids for mental health before they transition but that would require good mental health services, wouldn’t it, which nobody seems to be working on implementing anyway? so is that an issue with trans healthcare or is that an issue with mental healthcare BC i think it is actually the latter. & i’m so angry that hundreds upon hundreds of people have just accepted this as truth.

#and at some point it’s like. Ok what do you want us to fucking do. bc if we could talk ourselves into being mildly ok with our assigned #gender we fucking would. not least because it’d save us hundreds upon hundreds of pounds.#trans #oliver talks #tw transphobia

1 note · View note

emy-loves-you · 4 years

Text

Wrong Numbers and Useless Gays Chapter 6

Who the F*ck’s Rebecca? OR How the 3 Gays got Together

Virgil learns about Roman’s childhood, specifically his sister and how he ended up dating Patton and Logan.

Warning: Misgendering of a character (but no one knows that the character is trans)

Yes, Roman and Remus are brothers. Explanations are listed at the bottom

Chapter 5 | Masterlist | Chapter 7

V- (2:07 PM) Let it Go was the best song in Frozen and you cannot convince me otherwise

R- (2:07 PM) I respect your opinion, but hear me out: Love is an Open Door

V- (2:08 PM) No

R- (2:08 PM) What about Fixer Upper?

V- (2:09 PM) Still no.

P- (2:09 PM) I really liked Olaf’s song about Summer!

L- (2:10 PM) I personally enjoyed the reprise of First Time in Forever.

R- (2:10 PM) You like almost any song with a reprise

L- (2:10 PM)I will not argue that, as successfully executed reprises are “lit.”

R- (2:11 PM) Ah, and who among us could forget the absolute BOP that is… that weird ice-cutting song.

P- (2:11 PM) I don’t know, Roman. I think that song is, pretty COOL

R- (2:11 PM) Oh, lookout

V- (2:12 PM) What? He’s just saying it’s a CHILLED out groove.

R- (2:12 PM) Ugh

L- (2:12 PM) We might need you two to leave this chat if you don’t stop.

Virgil laughed, throwing his phone on the bed and stripping out of his clothes. He just finished jogging home from Janus’ (he didn’t own a car right now, preferring to walk or have Janus pick him up). It was a lazy afternoon in late September, and all Virgil wanted to do was get out of these sweaty clothes and maybe take a nap. He heard his phone go off multiple times as he got dressed, probably Patton and Logan arguing about the purpose of puns. He flopped down onto his bed and grabbed his phone, checking the new messages.

P- (2:14 PM) Lo, the Princes are calling.

L- (2:14 PM) Tell Roman not to answer, Patton. We’ve been over this.

P- (2:14 PM) They’re asking about us, Lo.

L- (2:14 PM) Tell Roman to hang up. They’re not worth it.

P- (2:15 PM) They’re yelling now, L. They brought up Rebecca. What do I do?

L- (2:15 PM) Just walk into another room, Patton. Ignore them. Do you want me to call you?

P- (2:15 PM) No, I’m good. Just keep texting me. I need a distraction.

Now, Virgil had no idea about what the fuck was going on. But he knew how to distract someone. He’d just have to trust them to tell him later.

V- (2:16 PM) Did you know that octopi have 3 hearts?

L- (2:16 PM) What

P- (2:16 PM) That just means they have more love to give!

V- (2:17 PM) The longest recorded flight of a chicken is 13 seconds

P- (2:17 PM) Such a good bird!

V- (2:17 PM) Babies do not regularly produce tears until they are 1-3 months old

L- (2:18 PM) Ah, I think I understand now

V- (2:18 PM) A ‘jiffy’ is an actual unit of time. It stands for 1/1000th of a second

L- (2:18 PM) Falsehood. A jiffy is 1/100th of a second

V- (2:19 PM) Sorry, my hand must’ve slipped.

L- (2:19 PM) You would be unable to walk on Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus or Neptune because they have no solid surface.

L- (2:20 PM) An asteroid about the size of a car enters Earth’s atmosphere roughly once a year. However, it burns up before it can reach us.

L- (2:20 PM) The highest mountain known to man is on an asteroid called Vesta. It is approximately three times the height of Mount Everest.

P- (2:21 PM) I think they hung up. Thanks for keeping me company, Kiddos!

L- (2:21 PM) It was not an issue, Patton.

V- (2:21 PM) Yeah, no problem Pat. Now can someone explain what just happened?

L- (2:23 PM) As you can probably tell, I am not home at the moment. Apparently, Roman’s parents decided to call him and an argument broke out. The rest is not my place to say.

Virgil bit his lip, refusing to look at his phone screen. Did Virgil have the right to ask about that. It was obviously a very sensitive topic, and Virgil had only known Roman for about 3 months now. Virgil felt like he knew a lot about his 3 crushes (their quirks, their favorite sweets, their goals in life), but he knew very little about their lives before Virgil had met them. Which was fine; they knew very little about Virgil’s life, too. But he desperately wanted to help Roman; to make him feel happy and safe and loved. Virgil sighed, setting his phone on his nightstand. If Princey wants to tell me what’s going on, I’ll listen. If not, I’ll just have to deal with it.

Virgil woke up from his nap to the sound of his phone going off. He blindly felt around for it, his face still firmly planted in his pillow. He finally found it, turning it on before he lifted his head to read the text. It was a private message from Princey.

R- (3:02 PM) You’re probably wondering what happened today.

V- (3:02 PM) I am, but you don’t have to tell me if you’re not comfortable. I’ll respect your privacy.

R- (3:02 PM) As much as I appreciate that, you still deserve to know.

R- (3:03 PM) Do you mind if I call you? This doesn’t feel like a conversation to have over text.

Virgil thought about it for a moment. He originally never wanted to call Roman, simply because he might recognize Virgil’s voice as Anxiety’s. However, not only was Virgil 99% confident that Roman had never even heard of The Dark Sides, Virgil’s head was still foggy after his nap. Before he knew it, he was already calling Princey’s phone.

“Virgil?” Roman didn’t sound as… grand as Virgil expected. His voice was subdued and slightly hoarse, probably from the screaming match with his parents.

“Heya, Princey.” Virgil cringed at how gravelly his voice sounded. He’ll need to get some water after this conversation is over.

“You sound so tired. Oh my stars, did I wake you up? I’m so sorry. I’ll let you get back to sleep-”

“Princey, it’s okay. Just finished my nap. Might not talk much, but ‘m all ears.”

“Alright. Where do I even begin?”

“Take your time. ‘m not pressurin’ you or anythin’.”

“(sigh) You’re right. I guess I should start at the beginning. I grew up in a very... conservative household. My parents expected me and my sister, Rebecca, to be perfect. ReeRee was my partner in crime. We did everything together up until highschool. My parents expected me to get a football scholarship and date the hottest girl in school. I did those things, not because I wanted to, but because they wanted me to. ReeRee was a different story. When my parents signed her up for cheerleading, she tried to join the football team instead. When they told her she should wear her hair in a ponytail, she cut it off to match mine. I didn’t understand, and it made me angry. It was like looking in a funhouse mirror; she was starting to look more and more like me, and yet each change made my parents angrier. Why was looking and acting like me a problem? I thought they liked this version of me! One night in the summer before junior year I was really frustrated and I took it out on her. I told her to stop acting like me. I knew she didn’t deserve my anger, so I went to Patton’s place to cool down. By the time I came home, my parents refused to acknowledge that I even had a sister. I pushed her away, and now I’ll never get her back.

After that, things changed. I was so angry, and everything I saw reminded me of her. I quit the football team, because every time I went down to the field I expected to see her. I dyed my hair, because every time I looked in the mirror I saw her staring back. I stopped caring about what my parents thought, ‘cause it was their opinions that dragged me into this mess!

I had already been friends with Patton since Freshman year, but me and Logan had been at each other’s throats . We were always bickering about something, and sometimes I used our arguments to vent out my anger at whatever was wrong at the time. I didn’t even realize how much I had cared about Patton and Logan until I learned about the LGBTQ+ community. My parents were super strict, and Patton and Logan didn’t exactly flaunt their relationship. I had no idea that liking guys was even an option . Once I learned about it, my parents quickly tried to shut it down. Everyday, they’d start their day telling me that ‘homosexuality is a sin’ and ‘God made you to be the gender you were born with!’ If they had told me that before ReeRee left, I might’ve believed them. But by this point, I didn’t care about a single thing they told me.

So one day, I’m arguing with Logan about who knows what, and suddenly we’re inches apart, and I remember pa saying ‘ a boy should never kiss another boy.’ And just think, ‘Fuck it.’ And now me and Pocket Protector are suddenly making out behind the school building. Microsoft Nerd asks why the hell I decided to make out with him of all people, and I break down right there. He agreed to keep it a secret, but he refused to do anything more than a simple make-out session until he had Padre’s consent to do so. Which I understood, consent is important, cheating is bad.

Now we’re having these ‘sessions’ at least once a week for almost 4 months. Patton eventually walked in on us and he was understandably upset. I explained what had happened and that I’ve had a crush on both of them for a while. And they’re like ‘cool, we’re polyam.’ And now I’m starting senior year dating two men, which mom and pa were not okay with. I told ‘em to fuck off and we moved away as soon as we graduated. They still call occasionally, asking when I’m gonna get my life together and get over losing ReeRee. I haven’t blocked ‘em yet in case they find her or change their minds.”

Roman finally took a deep breath. “Sorry about the rant. Didn’t realise how badly I needed to get that off my chest.”

Virgil snorted. “Don’t worry ‘bout it. Told ya I’d be a good ear. And Princey?”

“Yeah?”

“You don’t gotta do anything to impress someone else. You bein’ you is good enough. And if Rebecca could see you, I’m sure she’d be proud as hell. And don’t be ‘fraid to hit me up if you need someone other than your SOs to rant to; I’ll always be here for ya, Princey.”

“... Thank you, Virgil. I didn’t realize how much I needed to hear that until you said it.” He sighed, and Virgil could hear the sound of running water. “I’m gonna go drink some water. My throat burns like a bitch right now.”

“Same. Catch you later?”

He could hear Roman chuckle to himself. “I guess you shall. Farewell, Storm Cloud. And pleasant dreams!”

Virgil blushed. The way Roman said his nickname… it made Virgil’s gay heart nearly explode. He quickly hung up and buried his face back into his pillow. I’ll get water later. AFTER my heart stops racing.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now, for those of you wondering about why Virgil doesn't realize that Roman and Remus are brothers, I'm gonna put a quick explanation here, 'cause I don't know how to casually fit this into the story. 1.) Remus has never told Virgil his deadname or his last name. He's probably told Janus (since their pretty close) but Virgil doesn't know. 2.) Remus has never told Virgil that his brother's name is Roman. Additionally, when Virgil is talking about the 3 gays, he only calls them "Pat, Lo and Princey." 3.) Roman's parents didn't tell him that Remus transitioned, so he doesn't know that Rebecca now goes by Remus. Also, none of the characters have actually sent pictures of their faces, so none of them have any idea what the other looks like. 4.) It is a total coincidence that both twins moved to the same town. Remus believes that Roman still lives in their hometown, and Remus could be dead for all that Roman knows. There is no logical reason for them to think "maybe Virgil's friends with my long-lost sibling" 5.) Virgil would NEVER out his friends like that. He tells Janus and Remus everything, but he would NEVER betray Roman's trust like that. Same thing for telling Roman about Remus. Roman might know that Remus is trans, but he doesn't know about Remus' background. ONE LAST THING: Roman and Virgil will eventually see each other face-to-face but WON'T recognize each other's voices. This is because during the phone call Virgil is still groggy from waking up and Roman is still hoarse from screaming.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Taglist: @bisexualdisaster106 @self-taught-mess @itawalrus @arodynamic-enby @sanderssides-angst

#useless gays #sanders sides fic #LAMP fic #virgil sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders

37 notes · View notes

your-localghost · 4 years

Text

so um who wants to read a 50 page essay of me and my mom's journey through the IT movies?

too bad you're reading it

so like i saw this goddamm clown, and i, also being a clown, said to my mom, also a clown, "lets watch this clown movie lol" and she said yes. and in the like first five minutes we are already awwing and stuff because??? omg georgie and bill are so cu- oh. oh my god. oh this us not what we thought at all-

so enter Losers. instant RELATE i am also a LOSER hellO?? hAh look at these 2 idiots theyre bickering like an old couple an- oh my fucking GOD of course there are bullies. one of them looks like draco malfoy??? guYs did draco malfoy play in this movie we see him like 2 times-

oh my god oh no poor bill he is trying to find his brother :( but alsO BEV IS SO PRETTY??? IM SO GAY???? and yeah i really feel the New Kid On The Block like same man i didnt even get to meet a pretty girl and a buncho losers who will go jump into lakes with me

OH and the lake scene? it bites me in the ass later. i fucking passed it off as a "theyre bonding" moment and then it transforms into a feelings plane and crashes into my house

me: they just keep leaving their bikes

mom: well It takes kids, not bikes

fastforward and??? the fight secene?? the fuckijgn fi Ght SCE ne??? o H M Y GO D

bill was so desperate to find georgie?? richie was so scared he would die??? beN BEING SCARED HIS FRIENDS ARE GONE?

i AM ALL OF THESE FUCKERS

and oh?? bev's dad??? hate the vibe this dude gives to me. like this dude def did more than mentally abuse her and im so glad she beat him up

uhHHH??? WHY DOES NO ONE TALK ABOUT EDDIE STANDING UP TO HIS FREAKSHOW OF A MOM??? HOW HE WAS SO MAD????? HE THREW HIS PILLS ON THE GROUND HELLO, HE STRAIGHT UP YEETED HIS FANNY PACK??? MAN the things a gay goes through for his friends

bill's speech on georgie, like, dude just fucking stab me it will hurt way less

fastforward more, the oath??? how scared stan was??? like i ddint really feel any connection with stan other than his actor played my fav character, stan, in ianowt, but uHm? i still love him??? so mUCH???

oOOOH i just realied i didnt talk about mikey

ahem

THE ROCK FIGHT THE FUKING ROCK FIGHT THE ROCK FIGHT OH MY GOD

THESE LOSERS ARE SCARED SHITLESS OF THOSE SHITBAGS BUT THEY SEE ANOTHER LOSER AND THE FIRST THING THEY DO IS THROW R O C K LIKE FUCK YEAH YOU FUCNKY LITTLE MIDDLE SCHOOLERS STAND UP FOR YOUR FELLOW BULLIED I LOVE MIKEY SO M7CH OH MY GOD

so between the 2 movies we realized it wasnt on netflix and went on various websites to watch the 2nd movie, got progressively angrier until i got my laptop and just watched it blindly because we are both blind

okay heres the tea yall

they completely erased bev's character in the 2nd movie. in the first it was emphesized SO MUCH just how brave she was compared to the others. she took the first step, she wasnt afraid to go into the house she fought her abusive dad and in the 2nd movie it was all gone. i really liked the fact that bev wqsnt a damsel in distress until in the 2nd movie she was. while in the 1st movue you forgot that gender roles existed in the 2nd it really seemed like they wrote bev as a "woman" rather than "bev" you dig me??? okay rant over. basically fuck the 2nd movie bev and im not just saying this because her 1st movie actor made me realize i was a lesbian. on to the movie

oh mY GOD HOMOSEXUALS??? WILL THEY HAVE A PART IN THIS STORY OH MY IM SO EX- oh. right. oh hey theres mikey :D

___

me: who's this??

mom: its bill look, its his surname

me:

me: you remember bill's surname but not richie or ben's names?

---

oh theyre all grown up!! oh bevs fighting an abusive man again and uh

___

mom: i have a feeling stans gonna kill himself

me: hah can you imagi

---

STANLEY??? BABEY BOY OH NO???? and also are we gonna let the spider with the baby head thing pass?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY DONT REMEMBER ANYTHI-

"this is like a virus its been eating us for 27 years!" YEA MIKEY ITS CALLED PTSD YOU FOUGHT A FUCKING DEMON AND DIDNT SEE A THERAPIST????

also the whole tribe thing seemed really out of story and like it didnt belong there at all? idk maybe its just me but i dont wanna believe that bill's 3rd eye opened after he got drugged by his friend idk

so like hightlights because ive got many rants about the 2nd movie

what the fuck do you mean bev got out of jer specilized hell after ben recited 1 fucking poem are you kidding me are yOU FUCKING KIDDING ARE WE REALLY DOING THE SAVED BY LOVE BULLSHIT AGAIN OH OKAY

OH OKAY FUCK YOU

SO BEV GETS SAVED IN THE FIRST MOVIE AFTER BEN KISSES HER WHEN AT THE TIME HE PRIBABLY THOUGHT LOVE WAS AT ITS PEAK WHEN YOU GAVE YOUR 2ND GRADE CRUSH A BADLY WRITTEN POEM

AND UFKCING HELL IT HAPPENS IN THE 2ND MOVIE TOO??? DOES PENNYWISE JUST THINK "oh these bitches hetero bettet keep them alive" BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS WOULD ALL BE OKAY IF

IF EDDIE LIVED TOO

FUCK I RELATE TO RICHIE SO MUCH??? HIS FIGHT WITH HIS PEERS AND HIS FIGHT WITH HIMSELF OVER HIS YEARS LASTING CRUSH ON EDDIE?? OH MY GOD IT WAS SO OBVIOUS THIS MOTHERFUCKER WAS GAY AND I DIDNT REALIZE UNTIL THE 2ND MOVIE WHEN HE HAS A BREAKDOWN BECAHSE HIS SOULMATE GETS STABBED BY HOMOPHOBIC FORTNITE DANCING CLOWN WHILR HE TRIES TO SAVE HIMA DN THEN FUCKIN G DIES EVEN THOUGHT THESE 2 IDIOTS HAD MORE CHEMISTRY THAN BILL+BEV AND BEN+BEV COMBINED OH MY GOD IM SO MAD THE HETEROS GET TO LIVE BY TRUE LOVE BUT THE GAYS DONT AND UG G H H G G HH "hes dead" NO HE FUCKING IS NOT THIS ISNT FAIR I LOVED EDDIE SO MUCH

well uh now that we got my love for richie on papet um

the lake scene

i cried and i had to watch heteros kiss underwater while wiping my tears. its only cool when percabeth does it guys

the lake scene aside i full on BAWLED LIKE A BABY at the ending because i felt so bad that stan died already and i felt bad that not only was richie facing years if bullying and homophobia anf the loss of his friends it finally is confirmed that richie had a crush on eddie and i

i just cried man? it hurt me so much as it weighed on me how many jokes richie made, how scared he was when he saw the missing paper of himself, his flashbacks to people calling him names, his speech to eddie and that he had to get dragged out because this fucker obviously couldnt let go of his feelings. and between all of that and stan's letter my brain blocks out everything and focuses on one

R + E

oh my god

OH MY GOD NO

NOW i dont really like watching movies. as a writer myself im really critical of everything involving the world building, the characters, the plot and all that jazz and usually the acting is so bad that i dont feel for the characters but THIS ONE. T H I S O N E

my mom turned to me and was SO SHOCKED to see my flat out CRYING because i just dont do that man, and she just asked my what made me cry and i just made a noise like "hhhnnnn" and she nodded and went "richie's love story" and i, still crying, went "hhhnnnn" but in a higher pitch

and im just so mad? that eddie didnt get to live?? we didnt get an "i love you" or even a "im gay" from richie??? we didnt get to see them holding hands and letting go of their trauma together and being gay and happy yet

yet the fucking bad-writer-white-boy and boo-hoo-i-had-no-friends and not-bev get happy endings??? mike can get a happy ending because he is a well thought out character

thESE 3 ON THE OTHER HAND OH MY GOD

bill had to change his endings which really makes me angry because ima writer yada yada

bill has been bullied his uh what whole life? he got told his opinion didnt matter and from what i remember even his parents shut down his ideas and i feel like he should have made the endings how he wanted instead of changing to what the public wanted. thats what he defended as a kid, thats why he was in the losers club unwilling to change, because they were losers. yet he changed.

ben should have stayed fat or at least have abnornal weight because that also defeats his story with bev. it makes it seem that suddenly and magically when ben is hot bev can BEGIN to consider that she loves him.

i already ranted about bev.

mike is decent i guess? i like that he didnt stay with whoever the fuck that was in the first movie because he seemed very aggreasive to me. im glad the chose to research into pennywise because others were too stupid not to (RICH AND EDDIE GET A PASS AGAIN BECAUSE THEY SHARE HALF A BRAINCELL AND I LOVE THEM)

well stan is just tragic

___

me: who the fuck is afraid of spiders why do they keep showing up

mom: its stan?

mom: he brought the hair things and all

me, about to cry: oh m y god

---

so TL;DR: we really liked the first film! the acting, the plot, the creepiness is overall better and you get to relate to a bunch of Losers who get abused by their parents

the 2nd film doesnt exist. i refuse to acknowledge it exist EXCEPT for the ending where stan writes a letter about how he would like to meet hks friends again while BREATHING and richie and eddie carve their initials on a piece of wood and get to be gay.

if your name starts with B your opinion is invalid in the 2nd movie

also can anybody give me fanfics where the fortnite dancing clown doesnt exist and richie goes to therapy to heal from the bullying and once he gets over his homophobia he gays with eddie??? specific i know but im willing to write it if it doesnt exist

#ghost reviews movies #i guess?#it (movie)#it (2017)#it (2019)#spoilers #tw abuse mention #tw homophobia mention #tw suicide mention #this is a #rant #AND A #vent #BECAUSE OF RICHIE AND RICHIE ONLY #long post

3 notes · View notes

hermionesong14 · 6 years

Text

Okay little voltron rant because I need to get it out of my system (so spoilers) and it’s not all angry so don’t go away

I actually kinda liked it. It had a very well thought out plot. A lot happened. It might have dragged a little but it wasn’t too bad. The dark aspects of it really had me glued to the screen so that’s cool.

Of course there are things that bothered me. I was mad at Adam’s death, (cause like come on you just announced him why is he already dead) (also it was spoiled for me so thanks fandom) and how little time Shiro had to mourn him. I didn’t like that they called Lance the dumb one (cause come on that’s just mean and he doesn’t deserve it). The shit with Axca and Keith, like, what’s happening there? (I’m hoping they’re just related somehow)(I mean, I could tell Keith didn’t like her that way. I hope). Lance and Allura. Like...okay...don’t get me wrong....it’s a valid ship....but like...I don’t want it.

But a lot of cool, cute, and good things happened this season. Lance got to see his family again. Pidge got to see her mom. I almost cried when Sam saw Colleen again. Hunk got his arc, and we also learned more about his family. The feud episode was hilarious. And Lance and Keith finally had some interaction time. (Literally they only talked once last season, and then nothing for like the last two). Keith and his mom (I almost started crying). Keith and Hunk. Keith getting his bayard from ten feet away and rekking all the shit. Romelle was a fucking queen. Matt was a fucking babe. Cosmo. Shiro being a sassy bitch, and his big dick energy with the Atlas

But there are also things that I’m hopeful for next season. I hope Adam is sercretly alive, (because come on why would he only be there for two episodes after hyping him up). I hope Pidge gets to spend more time with her family, and same thing for Hunk and that he gets to be with Shay. I also really love Allura and I hope she finds a new home on Earth. I hope that Shiro will be able to mourn Adam properly and get a FUCKING BREAK! (#letspacedadrest) I hope they’re a bit nicer to Lance, (I mean he got his family back and he’s with his sister now and he’s braver than ever, but like, why’re they trying to deplete his self esteem?) I hope Keith gets to be a happy boi, finally. I hope for more Lance flash backs. And of course...I will cling onto Klance until the very end. I just hope they let their relationship develop again. (#KICK)

But I will not let these hopes and aspirations cloud my judgement when I see the new season. I think that’s what a lot of the Voltron fandom does. All tea, all shade, some members let their hopes to get too high when it came to the LGBT rep, and when that happened they went into season 7 only looking for that rep. When it didn’t meet their standards, it caused them to explode and say things like “this is the worst season!!” And “They queerbaited us!!” and saying they’d leave voltron forever. I don’t think they queerbaited us. There is still rep in the show. Shiro is still LGBT, and maybe he’ll be able to explore his homosexuality next season. Don’t get me wrong, I’m upset by how they executed the Adam situation, but not upset to the point that I’m sending threats to the creators or VAs. To quote my last post, “why is the Voltron fandom so extra?”

So your ship didn’t become cannon. So this, this, and this, didn’t happen to ensure your satisfaction with what happens in the end. Big deal! It’s a show! I know how most of you feel. I love the show to bits and I love the characters, and I have my own ship that I would do anything to have cannon, but at the end of the day, theyre fictional. Don’t go attacking the artists because their vision didn’t suit your needs. Don’t send threats to VA’s to the point that they’re literally scared to come out to see us. If it ends differently, I promise the world hasn’t ended. Your feelings are valid, and you’re allowed to be disappointed, but don’t go disrespecting people. It’ll end the way it ends, and we’ll just have to deal with it.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

#voltron #vld spoilers #voltron season 7 #klance #don’t yell at me #anyway im going back to my happy place #which means downton abbey binges harry potter reading and klance fanfic #becuase while it was a good season it still left me emotionally damaged

12 notes · View notes

scribblindown · 7 years

Note

I hope you don't mind, but as a lesbian, I'd like to imagine how it wpuld fit in the ffxv universe. How would each of chocobros react to their crush rejecting their offer on a date bc they're actually a lesbian? Bonus points if Aranea is on the party and they notice she has a crush for the dragoon lady :)))

I’m a bit excited and nervous to tackle this! This would be pretty redundant because all of the Chocobros are smart boys who understand that love is love, but enjoy!

Noctis:

He was really awkward when he found out that there was going to be a girl traveling with them, but he eventually grew closer to you, and started to have feelings for you.

But even though he pins after you, he would be too shy to do anything about this crush, and just spends the road trip in awkward silence. You don’t know his puppy love, but just about everyone else and their mom knows about it.

The boys would tease him relentlessly, and would continue to tell him to ask you out, but he would be stubborn and remain silent.

During camp one day, Gladio, Prompto, and Ignis would act really strange and say things like, “That one stall worker thought that you and Noct would make a cute couple,” or, “What’s your type of guy?“

Eventually you would just deadpan and say, “Guys, I’m gay."

Everyone would have the initial shock at first, but would accept it right away.

Noctis would feel very upset at first, not because he doesn’t accept you for who you are, but because his feelings wouldn’t go anywhere now. It would take longer for him to basically understand that you were lesbian, but only because he liked you romantically at one point. He’d probably avoid you for a couple of days, making you wonder what you did wrong.

He wouldn’t hold anything against you, and the more time he spends with you, his emotions towards you become more of a sibling love.

He accepts you for who you are, but he doesn’t have the strongest grip on the LGBTQ+ community, so he’s a bit clueless about it. You’d probably have to school him about your sexuality every now and then.

He would definitely be the friend that is like, "I met another lesbian today.”“…”“So I told her about you."

Prompto:

Okay, first of all, look at this boy and tell me that he’s not the slightest bit homosexual.

Don’t you see the way he smacks Noct’s royal booty?

Prompto’s crush on you definitely stems from admiration.

When he finally tells you that he likes you and he’d like to take you on a date, you’d feel so bad because the thought of hurting Prompto makes my heart ache.

"Oh, uh, I’m sorry, I really like you too, and I’d love to go on that photography drive with you, but only as a friend."

He’d immediately turn red to his ears and start apologizing to you for beng so direct.

"No! No! It’s not you! I’m just attracted to women!"

Oh.

…OH.

Prompto would feel a bit sad about you rejecting him, but that’s only because rejection hurts no matter what, but rest assured, he loves you all the same, but this time it’s just platonically. A bit of surprise would show on his face, but other than that it’s not an extravagant reaction.

It would be as if nothing has ever changed, Prompto is very open-minded, cool, and supportive with people’s sexuality.

"I understand!” he says with a smile. “I just wish you told me sooner!"

He has a good understanding of the LGBTQ+ community, both by definition and emotionally, so you are completely casual and comfortable around him. He’ll understand when you rant to him.

Prompto rarely gets angry, but he’ll get very visibly upset when homophobic people give you shit for who you are. He’ll be there to defend you right away.

If anything, coming out to Prompto only makes you two closer!

Gladio:

"It’s a beautiful day in Galdin Quay, isn’t it?" "It sure is,” you say.“Then how about we get a couple of drinks together? Just you and me—It will be a date."

It takes you a while to understand what he’s trying to say.

"Oh…Oh! Gladio, I’d still get drinks with you, but you should know that I’m a lesbian."

He’d just stare at you for a while, and it makes you a bit nervous, since he has such an intense gaze. You would worry about him accepting you in those few seconds.

Then he bursts out laughing and you get confused.

"That makes so much sense!” He would give you a slap on the back strong enough to send you bowing over.

Don’t get insulted though, he’s mostly laughing at himself for not catching on earlier.

Other than that, nothing would really change between the two of you, other than being more casual about sexual jokes around each other.

He wouldn’t feel bad about your rejection and takes it in stride, it’s not like he, and anyone else for that matter, can do much about who you like anyway.

He’s very nonchalant about it, but if someone insults you he’d get angry. Start-a-fight-right-now angry. You’d probably have to hold him back.

It would be great if you two were into the same type of girl.

“She’s pretty hot,” he’d comment about a girl walking by in the streets of Insomnia. You lean over. “She is."

The two of you compete to see who can get her phone number first.

Ignis:

"If you wouldn’t mind, I’d like to take you out on a date tomorrow."

You’d pause for a while, because this is the Ignis asking you out on a date. You didn’t even know that he liked you like that.

"Oh, uh, I’m sorry, Ignis, but I can’t go on that date with you—I like girls."

He wouldn’t react much at all. He’d go silent for a couple of seconds, then fix his hair or push up his glasses.

"I…I see…I just don’t understand why you never brought this up before." "Well, it’s not like who I choose to sleep with really has anything to do with protecting the prince."

He’d be very stiff around you for a while, but eventually realizes that his actions might make you sad, but he tells you that he’s still just processing this. It isn’t everyday that Ignis asks a girl out on a date.

He takes note of your sexuality and researches more on it.

When time passes, and the occasion comes by, he’ll ask you questions about it. Like when did you realize that you were lesbian, or what are the reactions of certain people.

He’s just a very supportive mom.

But guy or girl, he’ll lecture you about safe sex and fuss over you whenever you leave for a date and come home from one .

"Sexually transmitted diseases can kill, kids."

Aranea:

This was embarrassing, degrading, and terrifying, and your knees were quaking just thinking about it. Arenea stood several meters in front of you, her back turned as she threatened talked to one of the workers posted at the edge of the now empty Nif base. “Hidden” several meters behind you were your friends, and in response to your helpless look, they sent an encouraging one back.

Gladio gave you a thumbs up while Prompto held up his camera to capture the moment you would finally confess. After you had come out to them, they noticed that you had a not-so-secret on Aranea this entire time, something that they passed off as sheer nerves from her assertive personality. They teased you relentlessly about your crush on her, but eventually told you that either you told her, or they would. Aranea wasn’t going to hang around your party for much longer anyway.

So here you were, heart beating so quickly that you were positive that you were going to die of a heart attack. You wondered if you should just bolt now, run away and change your name before you could embarrass yourself. You could face monsters without a blink of an eye, but you were having trouble breathing just looking at the dragoon lady herself. You almost wanted to cry. Sure, you knew that you liked girls, and there were girls now and then that piqued your interest, but never before had you liked someone as much as you liked Aranea.

Finally, she turned around, and raised a dainty eyebrow at your strange arrangement. With you terrified as hell and with the boys “hiding” behind a bush several meters behind you, she knew something was up.

“Uh, kid, are you alright? Maybe you should go see a doctor or something, your face is kinda red,” Aranea said as she walked closer. To your demise, she leaned in closer to your face.

“I..! Uh…I mean…” you choked. You turned back to the boys and gave them a helpless look that just screamed, “Help me!”

“Oh Aranea, my forever girl! Will you go on a date with me?!” Prompto yelled across the field in a high falsetto.

You gave him a betrayed look and mouthed, “What?!” across the field. He gave you a helpless shrug back.

“So that’s what this is about,” Aranea said, her voice smooth as silk. You were afraid to turn around. Once you did, you saw her with a hand on her hip and a smug smirk towards you. “Blondie over there is quite a wingman. Sure, you’re kinda cute. I’ll go on a date with you.”

“What?” you weren’t even sure if you were hearing her correctly.

“I’m free tomorrow night if you’re up for it.”. You weren’t even sure what was happening. You let out a small squeak as you nodded.. “Great. I’ll see you around, kid.”

Just as she left you with a smirk, she gave your bottom a light smack that made you stiffen up like a board. A loud scream escaped your lips. Over the pulsing in your ears, all of the boys yelled out in victory.

Side Quest:

Get [Name] a date with the Dragoon is now completed.

#ffxv headcanons #ffxv imagines #noctis #noctis lucis caelum #ignis #ignis scientia #gladio #gladiolus amicitia #prompto #prompto argentum #aranea highwind #final fantasy xv #final fantasy 15 #final fantasy

84 notes · View notes

spikycharlotte · 7 years

Note

:0 all of them

y’all better strap in

four jews in a room bitching / what’s your favorite stereotype for your religion?

haha i don’t really identify with one in particular? so i’m not sure.

a tight-knit family / who do you consider family?

i for sure believe “blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.” while i do have family members whom i do love and am proud to call family, i don’t think the question is calling for that.

my best friends are like family to me, and i’d do anything for them. i also have a mentor/teacher, and he and his wife are like second parents to me.

love is blind / what makes a healthy relationship?

C O M M U N I C A T I O N ! ! ! you should NEVER be lying to your s/o!! and if your s/o does something you’re not comfortable with/makes you upset, TELL THEM! you shouldn’t be stewing, but also don’t enter the conversation angry and accusatory. and on the flip side, if your s/o comes to you with something you did, LISTEN TO THEM. apologize and explain yourself, even if it was just a misunderstanding! avoid becoming defensive.

the thrill of first love / what’s something you’d kill for?

answered here!

marvin at the psychiatrist / do you ever feel like no one is listening to you when you talk?

i used to feel this way all the time, but i’ve recently become comfortable with saying, “excuse me, i was speaking” when i’m spoken over. also i find myself in lots of leadership positions in my day-to-day, so i’m pretty good at making myself heard.

my father’s a homo / could you/would you want to be president?

the idea (a loud, genderqueer, butch lesbian with the conscience to do the best for others) sounds great, but i’m not the person that fits that description to be president. i’m infj, so i’ve got the teacher personality, and that’s what i want to do!

everyone tells jason to see a psychiatrist / do people nag you consistently about something? if so, what?

this is such a #relatableteen answer but my room is a goddamn mess and my mom nags me on the daily to clean it (something i never do)

this had better come to a stop / what’s something people do that infuriates you?

i talked about this a little bit, but when people come to me with relationship issues and the issue could resolved so easily if instead of coming to me and telling me, they just went to their s/o. a problem cannot be resolved through outside sources.

i’m breaking down / what makes you crazy/pushes you over the edge?

answered here!

please come to our house / what was the last thing you did to help someone?

ummm to fit with the “therapy” theme of this the other night i helped a friend when she needed to vent about some crappy home things.

jason’s therapy / what’s the worst advice you’ve ever been given?

i resent this question being with this song!!! i think mendel’s “feel alright” advice (while flawed) at its core is actually kind of pure and good! of course the way he gives it is bad (ignore your problems!)

but worst advice i’ve ever been given was i asked a friend towards the beginning of my last relationship if i should continue it and she said i should, and it ended much later and i was very unhappy throughout most of it. so that was pretty shitty. (i now have a very wonderful girlfriend who is currently having me answer all of these questions :-))

a marriage proposal / how would you want to be proposed to?

actually something very similar to how mendel does it! something private and lowkey, and just having someone word vomit their love for me sounds very cute and endearing.

however i always thought of myself as the one who would propose, so there’s that

a tight-knit family (reprise) / are you satisfied with what you have in life, or do you want more?

well as a student in high school it’s kind of hard to be satisfied, because there’s so much i want to do but i can’t as my student-ness prevents me from doing so.

but considering my place in life, i think i am quite happy!! i have a great gf, great friends, and i’m kind of excited for this school year!

trina’s song / what’s the worst interaction you’ve had with the opposite gender?

every interaction i’ve ever had with a male human being ever in my life. i could go on and on. but one that comes to mind is how one time a dude went on this huge rant during a teacher’s lecture about freud’s psychosexual theories about how homosexuality is an unnatural choice, all while continuing to glance at me to make sure he got his desired reaction

march of the falsettos / who’s the most immature person you know, and why?

um i know plenty, but the worst are some of my younger very intelligent female friends who are more focused on their boyfriends than their academics, which while i love and support them infuriate me to no end.

trina’s song (reprise) / have you ever settled for something better than you’d expected, but not as good as you’d hoped?

while this worked out for trina, as she soon would realize that mendel would be as good as she hoped, settling for less than you hope is never a good thing.

i’ve always thought this, so i can’t really think of any examples

the chess game / what’s the most petty thing you’ve ever done?

perfect question for this song, op.

i’ve done a lot of petty things in my life, bc i think everyone does. very recently though a girl was annoying the hell out of me trying to get me to tell her the answers for our summer hw and i gave her the entirely wrong answers.

making a home / how different are you in public than in private?

my personality is very much the same, but i’m obviously more in public. i don’t swear as much. and in private i talk to myself and sing loudly all the time which doesn’t make much sense to do in public

the games i play / do you ever wish you were doing more than you currently are?

constantly. i’m in high school so my options are grossly limited. i’m super excited to go to college and begin my teaching career. i just really want to help people!!

marvin hits trina / have you ever hated someone for being happy?

before i was in a better place like i am now, i really resented my best friend for getting a boyfriend for a while. but now i’m fine and very happy for the both of them.

i never wanted to love you / have you ever liked something you knew was bad? have you stopped?

um in middle school i liked sup/erwhol/ock despite the problematicness of them all (the other two more so than d/octor w/ho), if that’s what this means.

father to son / what is your relationship with your parents?

i love my mom a lot, she’s great. she had me in high school, and my bio dad split when he found out i existed, so i’ve never met him, but i also have no interest in doing so. i love my (step) dad a lot, but our relationship is kind of strained bc i don’t think he fully understands my being gay (even though he’s not rude or anything about it)

falsettoland/about time / do you use labels?

i actually quite like labels ? i like legitimizing my identity by finding out that other people feel the same way, and therefore have worked to put a name to it.

that’s also why i kind of like the femme/butch scale even though it was initially a joke, bc it acknowledges that not every lesbian is lipstick OR stone butch, and idk i kinda like it. but i do hate when nonlesbians ,,,,,, use it ,,,,,,, to describe lesbians,,,,, bc,,, it’s not for them…..

year of the child / when was the last time everything was about you?

idk prob my birthday parties… i don’t like being the perfect center of attention, i feel uncomfortable

miracle of judaism / what’s the last significant decision you had to make?

oh geez idk. i don’t make a lot of those… i can’t think of one right now.

the baseball game / do you play/like sports? which ones?

i do not like them really… i like badminton tho… that’s more of an activity and not a sport though

a day in falsettoland / what’s your daily routine like?

during the summer, i wake up and fart around on the internet, unless i have somewhere to be. all the while texting maggie all day

everyone hates his parents / what was the last thing your parents did that pissed you off?

my mom is a really bad backseat driver. like swearing and anger is her brand of backseat driving. so it makes me super anxious and angry hearing someone constantly bitch while i’m trying to drive

what more can i say? / are you in love? have you ever been in love? what is it like?

answered here!

something bad is happening / do you get frustrated when you don’t know something?

yes i do. its a problem, especially as i’m on academic team

more racquetball / are you a sore loser/winner?

yes yes yes. mariokart comes to mind in particular. if i lose it was lagging or too many items were unfairly sent my way, or if i win everyone else sucks and i’m the best

holding to the ground / how do you react when things don’t go as planned?

i’m not the best. i’m a huge control freak, so when things don’t work out perfectly i freak out

days like this / are you an optimist, a pessimist, or a realist?

i think i’m like an.. optimistic realist? like i’m a realist, but with that i’m more likely to say “the worst case scenario is this, so at least that’s not happening”

canceling the bar mitzvah / how do you react under pressure?

i get stressed, but i also get my work done, so good and bad

unlikely lovers / do you have any friends who are extremely different from you?

yeah, a lot actually! i have one friend who listens to hard core rock stuff and has a bunch of piercings and has never listened to a musical in her life and i also have friends super into gymnastics and cheerleading and stuff. i love my friends!!

another miracle of judaism / if you could have anything right now, what would it be?

maggie, next to me

something bad is happening (reprise) / have you ever had to deliver some really bad news? how did it go?

i had to explain to someone the oak/great comet drama, which was not fun. but i don’t think i’ve ever had to break super terrible bad news, especially not like what charlotte had to tell her best friend

you gotta die sometime / are you afraid of dying/death?

i don’t know…? the idea of nothingness is for sure daunting

jason’s bar mitzvah / what was the last big event you attended?

the other day i went to the first practice of the year for academic team! theres a lot of us and we had pizza and played and whatnot

falsettoland (reprise) / what do you want your legacy to be?

i just want people to remember me as someone who did their best to help others

#this took #literally forever #but it was super fun #me #asks #i love u maggie :0 #spikycordelia #long post

2 notes · View notes

newyorktheater · 5 years

Text

What is a gay play? These three very different plays in the first week of the new Rave Theater Festival could all arguably fit the label, but it would mean stretching the definition beyond the normal assumptions.

Stormy Weather

“Stormy Weather” has nothing to do with the 1943 Lena Horne movie of the same name, but it does borrow from Gilligan’s Island (a storm traps the characters on an island, in this case Fire Island) and Boys in the Band (a group of gay men gather for a birthday party), and Naked Boys Singing (there’s nudity, although much less of it and very little singing) — as well as from any number of forgettable peekaboo gay plays that were not as funny or clever or even as sexy as they pretended to be, and in which the acting seemed beside the point.

Tim and Mark, who are both in their 40s, were long-time lovers who recently split up. Tim is in their house in the Pines on Fire Island alone with their teenage daughter Tina, when a storm causes Mark’s yacht to crash, and forces him to take refuge in the house, leading to a series of shouting matches between Tim and Mark which I guess were supposed to be amusing. During the course of the play, we also meet:

Michel, Tim’s houseboy, who spends the entire time shirtless.

Jake, a deckhand on the yacht, who also spends the entire time shirtless.

Bobby, Tim’s new 22-year-old boyfriend (it’s his birthday), who spends some of his time shirtless and pants-less.

Harold, Mark’s new (age appropriate) boyfriend, who spends some of his time shirtless. “I’m Harry,” he says at one point to Bobby. “I can see that,” Bobby says, looking at his hairy chest.

Harrison, Harold’s straight teenage son, arrives on stage shirtless and pants-less, stared at by Tina. Harrison and Tina instantly become an item.

Over the course of “Stormy Weather,” we learn of all sorts of cross connections – Harold is also Tim’s ex-boss, and Mark is Bobby’s therapist – while several characters disengage from their current partners and re-engage with others. I disengaged from it all.

Ni Mi Madre

Arturo Luis Soria III comes onto stage wearing only a pair of underpants, and puts on an elegant white dress, becoming Bete (sounds like Bet-chi) whose first words are: “I love Madonna.Let me tell you if it were another life baby I could’ve been Madonna.” And we’re launched into what initially seems like a drag queen’s stand-up comic routine impersonating an over-the-top would-be diva. She drinks too much, and complains about how her third husband “doesn’t take advantage of my body… When Christmas comes around I’m buying him a GPS system to my vagina .” Bete mentions the word “vagina” or its synonyms more times than any woman I’ve ever talked to.

But it soon becomes clear, when Bete starts talking about her gay son Arturo, that the playwright and performer has created a show about his mother.

That doesn’t make her any less outrageous. “Arturo is an entertainer, the actor, the attention seeker, the ADADGG-C-something—one of those diseases that the American people come up with so that way they don’t beat their kids.”

She calls her son “my heart.” She assigns all her children body parts. Her next-oldest daughter “my appendix. They’re there but they’ve stopped serving a purpose and if they explode, you’re fucked.”

But amid the hilarity – and much of it is quite funny – there is a glimpse of issues of race, class, gender, sexual orientation and immigration that confronted Bete and her son. Bete, the light-skinned daughter of a dark-skinned Brazilian, recalls how her mother shunned her. At one point, Soria portrays Bete imitating his father, whom she calls the Ecuadorian Communist: “There’s nothing wrong with gay people. I don’t have anything wrong with gay people. But no son of mine is going to be gay…people. “

At the end of “Ni Mi Madre,” Bete engages in a ritual seeking forgiveness from her mother, and from her children, and from herself.

The true spirit of Soria’s play — that it’s an odd, outrageous, but deeply felt homage — is summed by the words on the last page of the program: “Call your Mom.”

Sweet Lorraine

I was excited to learn of a play that would dramatize the storied friendship between James Baldwin and Lorraine Hansberry. Both were renowned and influential writers who had great success at a young age, Baldwin with his first novel “Go Tell It on the Mountain” at age 29 , Hansberry with her first Broadway play “A Raisin in the Sun” at age 28. (Baldwin was also a Broadway playwright.) Six years apart in age, they shared a high profile as intellectuals and activists. Both were African-Americans, and both were queer, although Baldwin was more public about his sexuality.

“Sweet Lorraine” imagines James visiting Lorraine in her hospital room in 1965, a week before she died from cancer at the age of 34. They catch up, joke around, discuss politics, debate issues, argue. She admits to being angry with him for not visiting her sooner. They probe each other’s opinions, even about God.

Lorraine: Do you ever wish you still believed in God, Jimmy?

James: The only type of fiction I care for is the kind I write.

Lorraine: Well, I do. It keeps me up at night. I lay in this bed and ponder how simple life would be if there was someone, cosmical, in our corner….

They quote lines from other artists and intellectuals, and from each other’s work – which rings true, or at least is how we would like to imagine them. Inevitably in a play about two real-life historical figures, they drop in little biographical tidbits about one another that, in real life, two best friends would already know, but that theatergoers will certainly appreciate hearing. The maneuvering to get to this exposition is sometimes stilted, but often deftly done.

Lorraine:You sometimes sound just like my daddy.

James: So, he was a wise, incredibly handsome and debonair man?

Lorraine:He was, until good ‘ol American racism killed him too early.

The sweetest surprise in “Sweet Lorraine” is the presence of Valisia LeKae, five-time Broadway veteran, who was nominated for a Tony for her exquisite portrayal of Diana Ross in “Motown.” LeKae had to drop out of Motown after a diagnosis of ovarian cancer. Here she is more than five years later, portraying a woman dying of pancreatic cancer, which is brave and admirable and reason enough to be happy that this production exists. (She has a fine companion and sparring partner in Christopher Augustin as Baldwin.)

“Sweet Lorraine” is a terrific idea, and my hope is that the creative team continues to work on the play beyond its handful of performances at the Rave Festival.

There are what I consider some mistakes, such as the opening scene of Lorraine talking on the telephone with her ex-husband Robert. She is ranting about “The Drinking Gourd,” a television script about slavery that NBC commissioned from her (years before “Roots”!) and then declined to broadcast. The problem is not that this happened in 1960, five years before the play is supposed to take place (One expects this kind of fudging of time for dramatic purposes.) My problem is that Lorraine Hansberry is presented as foul-mouthed and soap-boxy. The first words out of her mouth are: “Fuck them! Fuck them all!” She calls the NBC executives “white devils” and compares herself to Anne Frank and Emmitt Till and Beethoven trying to create the Ninth Symphony.

It would shock me if any of the sentences in this opening telephone rant come verbatim from Lorraine Hansberry. Did she really curse so much? It strikes me as unlikely; she was the daughter of a proper, proud affluent Chicago family; her mother was a schoolteacher. I’ve read all of her plays, and I can’t remember any of her characters being so loose with four-letter words. But, more importantly, the cursing and self-aggrandizement is symptomatic of a certain uncharacteristic lack of sophistication in the way that the Lorraine of the play expresses herself.

As I wrote when reviewing Imani Perry’s book, Looking For Lorraine,

https://newyorktheater.me/2019/02/15/looking-for-lorraine-the-radiant-and-radical-life-of-lorraine-hansberry/, Hansberry was unquestionably a radical activist, so much so that the FBI had her under surveillance for years. But her impassioned sentences were also elegant, erudite, well-reasoned and witty. Could this really only have been when she put them down on paper?

It’s worth noting that the James Baldwin of “Sweet Lorraine” brings up his homosexuality early and often, complete with campy references. But there is no mention of Lorraine Hansberry’s own queer identity – just a fleeting line about her wanting to see “the end to queer persecution.” It’s well established that Hansberry not only had a female lover but wrote for pioneering lesbian publications, albeit under a pseudonym – a fact that Baldwin surely knew, and a subject that might well have come up in what could have been their last conversation together.

Rave Theater Festival Reviews: Sweet Lorraine, Ni Mi Madre, Stormy Weather What is a gay play? These three very different plays in the first week of the new Rave Theater Festival could all arguably fit the label, but it would mean stretching the definition beyond the normal assumptions.

0 notes

cocaineballs · 5 years

Text

Rant

Trigger warnings: self-harm, mentions of biphobia, minor (or arguably major) spoilers for One Day At A Time and Brooklyn Nine Nine, suicide mentions

I wanna preface this by saying that I’m a queer (bi/gender-fluid/aceflux) latinx (my mom is from Mexico and my dad from Guatemala) who for the most part identifies with she/her pronouns. My mother was born in the late 60s and my father in the late 50s.

I’ve spent the past 14-ish hours watching One Day At A Time because I’ve always seen how good it is and I wanted to finally give it a shot. So, when it came to the episode where Elena comes out to Penelope, I felt so happy to see Elena tell her mom that it felt like a breath of fresh air, which really hit home because that’s what it felt like when I came out to my mom. Albeit, my coming out story when it comes to my mom wasn’t the best.

I was 16, going on 17 and I remember it happening sometime in March, maybe April. I remember specifically because we got some cats a few weeks after in May, and week(s) prior in March two of my dogs had gotten stolen (a month after one of our other dogs got run over. we had three total). I was really depressed, and losing the dogs was the final straw because they were my babies, so I resorted to self-harming. Much like a lot of people I knew who used to self-harm (and I hope to god they’ve gotten the help they need or at least gotten better from where they were) that was not the first time I self-harmed. I had started when I was 13 and it continued until that day in junior year (I believe, part of me still believes there was a time during my senior year that I might have forgotten about, and the more I think about it, it probably did happen).

So, my mom finds out that I cut myself and she goes into hysterics, but why wouldn’t she? I’m not the first daughter of hers to harm herself. I’m not the first kid of hers to be depressed. When I step back and think about it, I think we all -collectively as a family- are depressed. But there’s my mother, seeing these fresh cuts on my forearm and she loses it.

“Que hice mal yo? Adonde fue mal?”

And I’m quick to reassure her that it was nothing to do with her. It was all pent up for over a year. The last time I self-harmed myself before that was the end of Freshman year, in 2015. Sophomore year was the hardest year for me (senior year coming in at a close second) but I managed to stay clean. I was clean for thirteen months! Only for it to all go down the drain.

It was all pent up breakdowns from sophomore year, it was all pent up anger I held about my sister. Only a few months prior, my father told me some shit that still hurts to this day, despite the fact I’ve forgiven him for it -and while it’s important to my point, it’s not at the moment, so that’s something I’ll come back to- and it stayed with me for so long. School was going semi-bad and I was tired of all the drama with friends and with whatever drama was going on at home. Plus, I was still healing from being preyed upon by my mother’s ex -something she still does not know about to this day, nobody does. So the dogs being stolen was the last straw and I harmed myself. I cut myself, I pulled on my hair until balls of it were coming out, I would break nails stabbing them into my palms, I even attempted burning myself once.

So, my mom sees these cuts and she’s crying, blaming herself for it and I’m trying my hardest to tell her that it’s not her fault and my second oldest sister was there, witnessing it all and my niece and nephew were there watching it all go down and I felt so bad. And what hurts most is that it wasn’t the first time my niece was exposed to my cuts, in fact, she was one of the first to see them back when I was thirteen, but she was four going on five at the time, and she understood none of it, she thought I fell and she just said to be careful because she was a kid and that meant more to me than anything. That’s one exchange I still think about a lot. So then my sister leaves and when it’s all quiet and I’m sitting in the aftermath of it all with my mom in the deafening silence, I let it out.

“Ma, me gustan los muchacho...y las muchachas. Soy bi.”

And then the room went quiet again and I felt like a sort of weight was lifted. Because I knew I felt that way since I was 12 and I wanted to tell her since I was 13, but I knew it was too soon. And I don’t know why I decided that was a good time to do it. But I did it and I felt relieved because I let it all out. And she told me,

“Eres muy joven para saber lo que quieres. No sabes lo que quieres.”

And it hurt me so much, and I felt sad and lost and I didn’t know what to do, what to say, how to react. I’d never spoken back to my mom and I never planned on it, now was not the time. Soon after, we went with my sister and her kids on a walk and we all calmed down and it was like things went well after. She slowly came around to the idea and it was beautiful and she can joke about it with me now and she accepts me for who I am, and she loves me and that’s all I can ask for.

But then, there’s my dad. I’m a daddy’s girl. He means the world to me and I’m his only daughter. It seems like nowadays, everyone but him knows. Everyone but him knows his baby more than he does. Because I’m still hiding one of the biggest parts of my identity from him. And everybody asks me why.

“He loves you so much, he’ll never stop loving you over this!!”

But how do I know that? All my life I’ve known my father’s love, and I’m so thankful that I have that privilege. I’m so thankful that he’s been my biggest supporter because everything I do, is for him and for my mom. But how do I know that this won’t change things?

I kept watching One Day At A Time, and the way Elena’s dad walked out on her during her quince, because he couldn’t handle who she was. He thought it was a phase. Made me think of when Rosa Diaz came out to her parents in Brooklyn Nine Nine and they weren’t accepting.

Rosa’s hit home because I have a brother -my oldest brother- who still denies my sexuality. I’ll joke around saying I’m sooooo gay

“Are you really gay?”

I was under the impression everyone knew. “I’m bi but yeah.”

“That’s not real.”

And I’m stunned. So I tell him it’s real and valid and he says it’s not. And that I’m not gay. I can’t be gay if I’m bi, which he still denies and says is invalid. And it sucks having my racist straight brother tell me that I’m not gay. Not even an actual homosexual family member tells me I’m not gay. But I end up deciding to identify with Queer. Because it seemed more open, more universal, more me. Suddenly the comments stop but he still thinks it’s invalid. And I live with that every day. With his closed-mindedness, telling me to pick a side. As if it’s something I can turn on and off or choose from.

But back to my dad. He’s loved me all my life. But then in November of 2016, one of my sisters was taken into the hospital because she was a risk to herself. She was suicidal and the ambulance took her. The cops had been tipped off by her boyfriend and they came to my house, and what sucks, even more, is that it’s not the first time it’s happened. So, I answer the door to the cops again at one in the morning on a school night and my sister is avoiding it. So she’s in the shower, but we’ve been through it before and so they ask me questions and I’m shitting bricks because I’m surrounded by three policemen and I’m alone and I’m sure there’s some weed somewhere in the house. My sister gets out and I go back into my room and I’m all alone. Except I’m not. I step out and there’s a policeman in the dining room of our small apartment doing nothing -probably making sure neither of us blows our brains- and I’m having to sneak around in my own house. So when they leave I call my mom to let her know what happened and soon after I’m texting my dad that I won’t be going to school tomorrow -even though I’m on T3 already and I still have a semester to finish. So he calls me asking me what happened and all I say is family emergency. But how do I tell him that my sister is suicidal? I don’t. So I tell him family emergency and call it a night, but he won’t let it go and he gets mad at me. He calls me and yells at me about why can’t I trust him. I’m sobbing, telling him it’s not my place and he’s only getting angrier by the second.

“Pues si no puedes confiar en mi, pues ya estoy muerto a ti.”

And that sentence is engrained in my mind. His voice as every syllable leaves his lips are engrained in my mind and it sucks because I still think about it two years and two months later. Two weeks later, It’s Thanksgiving and I’m forgiving him because otherwise, he’s alone. My brother on his side won’t spend it with him, I’m the only one who remembers we have a father. I guess I hold that power. I’m the only one of the two of us that still remembers he’s there.

So, I’m watching One Day At A Time, watching Elena’s dad go from loving the soul out of his baby girl to almost hating her for her sexuality because he can’t accept it, and I’m scared. Scared that my dad will do or feel the same. Angry, upset, hatred over my sexuality. I mean, I still like boys, I do. But can he see past me liking girls too? I don’t think I could live with that and it scares me. He’s my dad, he’s my everything and I’m scared of what he’ll think. And sometimes, I think about just not coming out to him at all, but I know I’ll regret it if I don’t. I’ll regret not telling him and I’m scared of losing my dad. I know I’m his baby, he spoils me and that’s not why I love him, but he makes it known he loves me.

I don’t know. I’m in my feelings and coming out to my father is a scary thought. And these shows really triggered me in ways I was not expecting. They’re so great though and I can’t get enough.

#rant #trigger warning #mentions of self harm #mentions of biphobia

0 notes

kinderkat182 · 7 years

Text

A small rant.

I'm all for people being proud that they're capable of dating/marrying/being who they want to be but as a straight white female I feel like it isn't out of place to ask that people not get offended that I look in their general direction. I don't seek out chances to offend anyone. There may be several reasons I look a certain way and it absolutely is not to cause issues with the people around me. I was at a drive in theater with my boyfriend and he and I went to get drinks and snacks at the concessions and there was a pair of guys (very obviously together) and a girl who appeared to be with them. I looked their way as my boyfriend left with our popcorn and drinks and smiled as I do with everyone I see in public and we went back to our truck and proceeded to watch the movie. When it was over, because it was a double feature, I hurried to the restroom to get back in time for the second movie. As I exited the restroom, the same girl from before the first movie stopped me to ask what my problem was. I, not having any clue what she meant, said as much and she got really angry and cussed me out and said I was being homophobic when I smiled at her brother and his boyfriend. Yes. When I SMILED at them. Because it was late and I didn't want to deal with a situation where local police had to be called, I attempted to explain that I only smiled as it is something I do all the time and there was no other meaning but that infuriated her more and she asked me if I talked to my mother out of the same lying mouth as I was using at that moment. I tried my best to keep my composure as I usually would have gone off at the mention of my mom. Finally, the couple that was with her came up and one of the guys escorted her away, as the other apologized for her behavior. Before he left he asked why it was that she snapped and I explained that she thought I was being homophobic when I smiled in their general direction before the first movie. He apologized once more and offered to get me something from the concessions as an apology but having noticed the the second movie had already started, I politely said no thank you and went back to the truck and watched the movie. After the movie, the trio came up to me and the girl apologized thanked me for keeping my cool so that the situation did not get out of hand. As I said before, I'm all for you doing whatever you want but when you get offended that I smile at you, that's where problems start. Be proud of who you are or who your family is but don't be rude for the sake of being rude. I know that I have many friends and several relatives who are homosexual or bi. I have no problem with them and have no issue with them. I know because of them, it takes guts to show in public that they are proud to be apart of the LGBT community, especially when you live in the general area that I live (southeastern United States, aka: the Bible Belt.) There are a lot of homophobic jerks and I can guarantee that a lot of people are much more hateful about the subject. I'm not saying that I'm perfect but according to the way I have been raised, hate breeds hate, and the world has plenty of that. So please, if someone smiles at you, smile back and go on about your day with the belief that they were simply trying to brighten your day with a kind gesture.

#LGBT #let's be nice to each other #pride month

0 notes

automatismoateo · 6 years

Text

The other day I argued with my mom when she claimed that the acceptance of LGBT people is leading to the decay of society and the acceptance of pedophilia. (This is a stupidly long angst-addled rant). via /r/atheism

Submitted July 22, 2018 at 05:54AM by GemRocking (Via reddit https://ift.tt/2LDN1Rl) The other day I argued with my mom when she claimed that the acceptance of LGBT people is leading to the decay of society and the acceptance of pedophilia. (This is a stupidly long angst-addled rant).

I wasn’t going to write this post; I try to be self-sufficient and not get easily “triggered,” but some things just make me frustrated, angry, anxious, and sad. I had this conversation with my mom the other day and it’s been bugging me ever since, and I want to vent here where people are actually fucking sane. I’ll try not to be long-winded and just recollect the main things that happened.

Important context Mom is a mental health professional. So she won’t change her mind on anything because 1) the Word of Gawd says 2) she knows what she’s talking about, fuck you.

Another thing is that I myself have a preference for the same sex. I know that every third kid in my generation does, or says they do. I have a lot of shame over it because I’ve been taught that LGBT people are stupid, confused, hell-bound perverts.

My mom actually knows about my same-sex attractions, and at one point I’d told her about some of my religious unbelief—namely that I questioned the existence of God and divinity of the Bible. But I’ve started lying to her in recent months because of how tense and painful our relationship got, and because I’m in a Christian academic program that requires really rigorous statements of faith and I don’t want my parents to know how good of a liar I am.

TL;DR Mom mentioned a TED talk she’d recently seen about how pedophilic relationships should be accepted and embraced by society. She claimed that we were going down a dangerous path now that LGBT stuff is legal and widely accepted. Argument ensued.

Disclaimer I know I’m ranting about my mom here, and I do feel kind of bad about that. I’m going to do my best to be respectful to her (not necessarily respectful towards her beliefs or the way she expresses them). I don’t want to sound condescending, and she told me repeatedly the other day that I was being puffed-up and acting like I knew everything. As a teen, I know that I’m prone to be big-headed and I just don’t want to come off that way. Also bear in mind that this is completely from my own perspective, so it’s bound to be very biased, and I haven’t processed this conversation with anyone else.

Memory

Mom mentioned a TED talk she’d recently seen about how pedophilic relationships should be accepted and embraced by society. She claimed that we were going down a dangerous path now that LGBT stuff is legal and widely accepted. I challenged this idea (don’t remember what I said, just that I questioned if embracing homosexuality leads to pedophilia).

The conversation kind of went in circles. Here’s something you need to know about religious people: they don’t see things distinctly. Everything that’s a sin is just “degeneracy;” it’s all one and the same, it all ties into itself. No distinctions can be made. She wouldn’t accept my argument that distinct moral differences can be drawn between homosexuality and pedophilia based off of how it affects the parties involved, i.e. that in pedophilia, one of the parties is always at a disadvantage and is objectively damaged.

My head’s so full of the shit that went down in this conversation that I think the best way to organize what happened next is a bullet list; whenever I’m trying to recreate something Mom actually said, I’ll italicize it.

When I tried to say that embracing LGBT stuff won’t lead to pedophilia because there are distinct moral differences between homosexuality and pedophilia, she scoffed and said that they’re the same: they’re both sexual sin and perversion. Then she said that it’s a slippery slope, because she’s been around for so many years. “When I was a kid, homosexuality was heard of, but there were hardly any homosexuals. Now 75% of the population is confused. We’ve embraced all kinds of disgusting things.”

“Now if you’re a man that thinks you’re a woman, a woman that thinks you’re a man, a man that wants to wear silky women’s underwear, you can march around in the street and do it! You can have a whole parade to celebrate it and do it in the town square!”

“Now that people think that we just ‘love who we love,’ they’ll say that people are born pedophiles and they deserve ‘equal rights.’ Homosexuality used to be illegal, and now it’s all legal and encouraged.”

“And all this horrible pornography didn’t exist when I was a kid. The acceptance of this is leading to more and more depravity.” When I asked if she had any evidence that pornography leads to pedophilia, she said, “There’s evidence that it leads to all kinds of shit!” I asked if there was evidence that it leads to anything specific, and instead of directly addressing the point, she got really angry and threw out this complete red herring: “You want me to say specific things in front of your brother?? You want me to? There’s evidence that it leads to sex with siblings, sex with animals, sex with objects, sex with children—everything!”

She claimed that homosexuality should still be classed as “homophilia” in the DSM. I asked her why, asked if it met the criteria for a mental illness, and she came up with some pious Christian bullshit before saying that it causes distress. I asked her for evidence that homosexuality causes distress, and she said, “Are you kidding me? Look at the suicide rate among those people! Yes, they’re miserable.” I asked if the suicide rate is high definitively because they are homosexual, and I got, “Yes!” Case closed, I guess.

I asked if she had any evidence that the acceptance of LGBT stuff is leading to the acceptance of pedophilia, and she staged the following argument: the TED talk was recorded and aired, and thus, people accepted it. I pointed out the flaw in this reasoning, and she said, “It doesn’t matter! It was allowed to happen, and it would have never been allowed before!” I suggested that perhaps the rise of the Internet and the huge number of platforms to publish opinions on could be a factor here, as previously in history, the media has been much more monopolized and such a wide range of ideas might not have been allowed to air. “No, that’s stupid, [Gem]! It wasn’t published because there are more options now, it was published because we’re morally corrupted! You’re being ridiculous.” I hate to admit that this stung a bit, because I thought I had a pretty good point there, even though I’m aware that many other factors effected the press historically.

She pulled up a study on the overlap between homosexual males and pedophilic males, claiming that homosexuality causes pedophilia because of this study, and she mocked me when I questioned whether there could be other causes for this overlap.

She concluded this trainwreck of an argument by saying, “There: I have ‘evidence’ right here for you—the TED talk exists, it was made and recorded and released. I’ve pulled up a study. You have no evidence.”

Conclusion

During this debate, she played the parent/age card a lot. “I’ve been around on this earth and seen how the world has changed; you’re only arguing this because you don’t know a time when the world isn’t so depraved.” She also called me “little girl” at one point; I think she’d said something like “You think you know everything, little girl, but you don’t.” She also said, “I’m really disappointed in you; I thought you’d gotten over this. I’m disappointed that your views on this are so worldly.” I thought I’d kept this discussion really tame—I never questioned it when she cited the Bible as evidence for her arguments, and I let a lot of bullshit slide. She also asked why I was defending homosexuality, even though I danced on eggshells to be sure I wasn’t too pro-gay or whatever. Apparently pointing out that homosexuality and pedophilia are on very different tiers is equal to defending homosexuality.

I guess it hurt my feelings a bit, in one respect, because she knows that I’m same-sex attracted, yet she still goes around saying that LGB people are mentally ill, that homosexuality should be illegal, and that they’re as wicked as pedophiles and murderers. I think maybe she’s trying to shame me into turning straight or something. It’s not like this is the first time she’s said any of this, by the way—she consistently reiterates these views.

I feel like she discredits me unfairly. I feel like I’m a lot more capable of discussing these topics than my authorities allow for. But again, that’s likely teenage angst and Marilyn Manson my idol talking. What pisses me off about a lot of these conversations is that she occasionally speaks brazenly of sexual things that I’m not allowed to reference explicitly because I’m a kid. So I just have to be quiet while she talks and pretend I’m shocked and disgusted by what she’s describing.

And maybe this is also my teen angst and big-headedness talking, but I felt that this discussion was pretty unfair. I know that adults have wisdom that children don’t, but her “I’ve been around longer than you” and “You don’t know anything, little girl” bullshit felt more like a silencing tactic than anything. I know she’s superior to me in most ways because she’s grown up, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t think for myself. That doesn’t mean I have to always go along with her beliefs. It doesn’t mean I can’t form opinions about the way things were in the past or how things have evolved over time just because I wasn’t there to personally experience it—I’d even argue that I might have a better-rounded opinion of past decades than many people who lived through them because I’ve read about them in a more all-encompassing way, while they experienced decades through their own neighborhoods and upbringings.

I’m too fragile for this. Like I said, I try to be thick-skinned, but sometimes these conversations strike me at the wrong time. I ended up in a suicidal spin, I scratched myself up and cried for a good twenty minutes. Sometimes I feel really trapped; this ridiculous homeschooled Christian conservative environment feels so fucking suffocating at times, where I can’t even express a pretty moderate opinion about how homosexuality is morally different than pedophilia without upsetting people. And I know I’ll have to fight tooth and nail to get out of this place. My parents want me to go to a local Christian college and live at home with them until I’m like 20. They want me to marry a man and raise children near to them. They want me to do something God-honoring with my life. But I have to deal with knowing that I’m not who the fuck they think I am, and I can’t live that life; I’ll either have to go through hell to become independent and be myself, or I’ll die. Then I think that none of this is legit; I’m just a whiny, entitled, rich American teenager that doesn’t know how to deal with life or be a decent, productive human being because I’m constantly succumbing to my own angst and throwing pity parties.

I guess I learned my lesson: shut up and agree with my authorities externally, think for myself in secret. Anyway, I apologize for being so wordy, but I had a lot to get off my chest. Thanks for sticking around, if you made it through. Love y’all. Satan curse.

#reddit

0 notes