#here all my hearts for you!! you lovely soul 🥰💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗

[merry-andrews]

OH MY GOSH IT'S THE PRETTIEST GIF EVER!!!!!!!! @vergeltvng I LOVE YOUUUU!!!!!😭😭😭💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗 IT'S SOOOO GORGEOUS AND LOVELY AND GGGRRRRRRR SO SO PRECIOUS!!!!! I ADORE IT WITH ALL MY HEART!!! OH MY GOD I DON'T DESERVE SUCH A CUTE GIFT!!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!!😭😭😭😭🥺🥺💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜💗💜

I'm the upgrade. @homelander-rp-blog

[jade-green-butterfly]

Today...is a very special and important day for me, folks~💝😊Three years ago, a certain special troll became the highlight of my 2020 during rough times and immediately won my heart from the moment I knew he would have his own destiny and journey to find others like him...and his family. Since the first Trolls movie, I have always admired dearly him from afar and the moment I saw him during the Trolls World Tour trailer, my heart literally poured out him and I have truly loved him for just being his wonderful, lovable self ever since~💘🥹 And that certain special troll, is none other than...Cooper~💗🌈✨

I have always been a big fan of him and he’s always been my favourite troll to begin with but every time I see him and hear him, my heart always beats so much for him, making it aflutter and words cannot describe how special he is to me...how he means the whole world to me~💞🌈💗🌈💞I mean...can you blame me? >//w//`< How could I resist and say no to such an adorable face to go with such a darling like him??💖😍💖😍💖 Cooper is more than just the goofball that we all know and love...he’s my goofball and so much more...~💗🥹The most amazing troll with such talent, a unique voice and a dazzling yet loving royal family to go with him...~🌟Cooper is also the prince of my heart, who deserves all the love and happiness in the world...and I feel so blessed to be the one to give it all to him, along with my heart~🥰💝💗💝🥰 April 24th 2020 was the day I drew Cooper for the very first time, and when I started shipping myself with him. And together, him and I have remained strong and inseparable ever since!🫶🏻😌💕We’ve had such happy memories together - becoming part of his world and family, sharing one another’s lives and music, even officially marrying and creating our own dear little life together~✨🧁💜💗💚🦋✨And I wish to keep on loving Cooper forever and evermore~💓🤗

Which is why I dedicate this very special piece above (two versions above PLUS, a video I made!!🤩) to us and since it's our 5th anniversary, I wanted to make it truly extra special and create a tribute video (which can also be found on YouTube here ;3) featuring one of me and Cooper's love songs from the underrated animated classic, The Thief And The Cobbler called 'It's So Amazing'. I thought the song itself really suited Cooper and I, because we are from two different worlds and the true love we feel for one another, really is...ooh, so amazing beyond words~🥰💜💗💚🥰 I've always wanted to make a video dedicated to two of us and I am SO happy I finally got the chance to make it a reality!✨😭It came out so great and just how I imagined it~💖🥹

I would like to deeply and gratefully thank many wonderful peeps out there for helping bring my beloved OTP to life, such as my lovely @x-elyssa-x, @kaitlinexe, @gloryraiin, @vampireflowerarts, @jaguardorado16, @zoey-nillesen, @king-trollex-fangirl, @glitchy-witchy1994, @angoraram, @artstar1997, @klaudia96art, @yeenstrollart, @asa-de-ouro, @devoted-krystal, @starshard17 and many more, for all the beautiful commissions, gift art and loving support you have given me over the past four years, and for putting all your fantastic work and effort, and heart and soul into every single one which I absolutely love to this very day~💞🌟💙💜💛💚🌟💞 I can’t thank you all and the rest of the Trolls Fandom enough for how amazing and welcoming you’ve all been to me when I first jumped onto the bandwagon, and I am so happy I did too!💖���Thank-you all so much for everything, including all the dear friends I’ve made and all the loving supporters I have gained - bless you all and don’t stop being awesome~!✌🏻🤩✨💕

And finally, thank-you ever so much for everything, Cooper...my cupcake king and sweet jellybean~🩷♛🧁🫂For always being there for me, making me feel such love and happiness I never could imagine~💝🥰🌈I am truly blessed and the luckiest lass alive to such a wonderful darling like you in my life and by my side~💗😇🪽U///w///U

🎊💜♓💗♎💚🎉~Happy 5th Anniversary, Cooper...my beloved prince, my one & only...~💕I love you so much with all my heart, more than life itself...and I will keep on loving you so, forevermore and beyond~🎉💜♓💗♎💚🎊

*~Reblogs are also deeply appreciated as well, so please do reblog as well as like! Thank-you kindly!~*

Cooper (c) DreamWorks Trolls/DreamWorks Animation

Trollsona Jussy/Justina Butterfly (c) @jade-green-butterfly�� (Me~!)

'It's So Amazing' (c) The Thief And The Cobbler, sung by Bobbi Page & Steve Lively

[thisismeracing]

King of my heart | MS47 | Part. 23

― Pairing: Mick Schumacher x fem!hamilton!reader ― Warnings: graphic description of unprotected sex (fingering, dirty talk, and p in v), mentions of alcohol, and jealousy.  ― Summary: It the ending of the season and fans get a glimpse on Mick and Yn’s perspective. ― A/n: None of the pictures used are mine, they are all from Pinterest and other apps, but the work is, and I do not allow it to be published on a different platform. I would appreciate it if those things could be taken into consideration 💛

▸ my masterlist | my taglist | patreon guide ▸ you can support my writing by reblogging, leaving a comment (don’t forget to follow me if you like the piece), or buying me a coffee

part. 22 | series masterlist | part 24

November, 2023

lewishamilton

liked by pierregasly, temsbaby, and others

lewishamilton You'll always be my baby sister, my bisty. I don't care how old you are, if you're dating, if you have kids of your own, or if you get married, you're forever the baby I held and knew I would protect with my life. Happy birthday theofficialyn 💙

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pierregasly Happy birthday, Hamilton baby! 🥳

⤷ hammertime_ why this is so funny to me

⤷ theofficialyn pierre 😠 hamilton baby sounds as if he’s my dad lol

ynfan my fav sibling duo 🥹💖

landonorris happy birthday to my fav brit girl! 💗💗

schumimick imagine having these genes and being born this pretty!

mickschumacher 🥹❤️

⤷ leclerccookies not even mick can’t resist baby yn!

⤷ dreiricciardo mick is the weakest for her and we know it

theofficialyn I love you, lew! thank you for always taking care of me 😭💗 my fav brother 💗

⤷ sainzfiftyfive do they have more siblings? what?

⤷ schumercedes I guess this is the joke, he’s her only brother 😂

georgerussell63 Happy birthday, Yn!!! Love you tons, please stop giving merc admin memes ideas 😘❤️

ginaschumacher

liked by lewishamilton, lilymhe, and others

ginaschumacher life gave me a little sister and I have never been so grateful. Thank you for being you, and for shining your light on everyone around you. I wish you the happiest life, Yn. I love you tons! 👩🏼‍🤝‍👩🏾💘

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fan02 Is that mickyn I see? Did gina just fed us mickyn crumbs? 😭😭😭😭😭😭

mickschumacher I had no idea you took that pic haha 💜 we look cute, ily

⤷ astonmartinha GINA POSTED MICKYN 😭😭😭

theofficialyn I love you, g! You’re a gift life brought to me and I’ll cherish and keep you forever! 👩🏼‍🤝‍👩🏾💞💞

⤷ burrowleclerc oh to be best friends with my boyfriend’s sister

carmenmmundt 🥹🥰 Happy bday, Yn!!! You’re such a kind soul, and it’s an honor to be your friend. Ily!

ylnrain I find it so gentle and endearing the way the schumacher and the hamiltons became close friends all because of mick and yn. like, she could just be acquaintance with gina, but they’re always seem together and they truly root for each other, you can see it. and then there’s mick and lewis who got even closer during these past few months, like…this is some romance book typa shit and I love it!

⤷ norrizzfour bestie ur rant was longer than the birthday wishes but I love that for you 😅🤣

charles_leclerc

liked by estebanocon, carlossainz55, and others

charles_leclerc I won't say you're like a sister to me or else your brother will push me off the track 🙄 but it's a pleasure to be your friend and to share the struggles and the good things of life with you. Thank you for always remembering about me with your sugary diet vegan desserts. Life is sweeter around you! Happy birthday, Yn ❤️

comments on this post have been limited

pierregasly 👍

⤷ lewisfan not pierre jealous LMAO

⤷ theofficialyn he loves you a tiiiiiny bit more than he loves me, believe me

⤷ pierregasly yeah but he never said life is sweeter around me 🤬

⤷ arthur_leclerc he did say it was funnier tho

⤷ joris_trouche 🤔🤨🤨

⤷ theofficialyn did charles told you to comment this, arthur? 🤣

⤷ charles_leclerc I’m trying to avoid a future track collision here, Yn!

⤷ landonorris you guys so dramatic 🤦‍♂️

danielricciardo Happy birthday, Yn!!!! 🥳🥳🥳🙌🏻

carlossainz55 feliz cumpleaños, hamilton! ❤️❤️

scuderiaferrari so she HAS been bringing you sweets huh?

⤷ theofficialyn they’re all healthy I promise, I even talked with the nutritionist 😇

⤷ georgerussell63 rumor has it she didn’t talk with the nutricionista

⤷ georgerussell63 but they’re all healthy anyways, calories free and all, even I eat some!!!

⤷ theofficialyn I was about to call alex to beat ur ass!

franciscac.gomes feliz aniversário, yn! 🥹🥰💗 te amo!!!

⤷ theofficialyn I love you more, kikaaaa! 💘💘

🐦‍⬛ twitter

mickschumacher

liked by danielricciardo, mercedesamgf1, and others

mickschumacher I am the luckiest guy for having you in my life. I still remember the first time I saw you, and to this day I still feel all giddy whenever you walk into the room. I wanna spend the rest of my life by your side, smiling, laughing, crying, talking, sharing every moment. I wish you the happiest birthday, and an even happier life, Schatzi. I love you 💛 here’s to many more birthdays together

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ynsunshine the mickey shirt 😭

⤷ spanishgp23 isn’t that how yn calls him?

⤷ ynsunshine exactly!!!!! 😭

estebanocon happy birthday, yn!! 🩵🩵🩵

mercedesamgf1 happy birthday to the merc’s garage sunshine 💓

theofficialyn forever 💗

🐦‍⬛ twitter

📸 instagram

theofficialyn

liked by exudoblues, pierregasly, and others

theofficialyn had a great time in Brazil with some even greater people 💛💚💙🤍

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brunamarquezine te amooooo! 🩵🩵 (Ily)

keepupwthehamiltons I saw yn was with Iza too, and I’m manifesting something between iza and lewis like 😩😩 they would be so powerful together

mickschumacher ❤️

satelliteferrari mick showing up twice 🥰 she really said MY man

lewishamilton thank you for always having my back 💙

⤷ theofficialyn you’re my forever number 1! Love you, lew 😘

⤷ hamiltonsiblings my forever number 1 😀🥲☹️😭 meanwhile my brother calls me ugly in every possible language

1directiontrack I say give Yn the citizen title too 🇧🇷

mickschumacher

liked by estebanocon, lancestroll, and others

mickschumacher vegas, baby! 😚

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gaslightgasly I wonder if the last pic isnt a soft launch for his new seat next year 👀

⤷ schumicedes I haven’t thought about it, but it makes sense…

mickynshipper I love how they’re the center of each others posts 😩💗

sainzleclerc God, I’ve seen what you done for others 🙇‍♀️

estebanocon I like the new haircut 😎

gaslybestie I can’t be the only one who had some very age restricted thoughts with the fourth pic…

⤷ vettelforever oh you’re def not alone on this train bestie

porscheschumi I am invested on this porsche 2024 mick!! omg omg

December, 2023

📸 instagram

theofficialyn & mickschumacher

liked by temsbaby, lilymhe, and others

theofficialyn it's the most beautiful time of the year 😍❤️🎄

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lewishamilton sickenly cute, but ily 🤍

ginaschumacher its even prettier sharing it with you guys 💚

ynfan2 the way they're always included in each other's dump is so wholesome, I bet they waited way too long to do it, and now it must feel liberating

⤷ russellsainz they're showing off but I would too if I dated one of them

estebanocon merry xmas!! 🎅

sunnyyn its their first Christmas together I'm crying pls

────── ⋆🪩 VOICEMAIL: Hi, lovelies! I hope you liked this quick chapter, we're about to reach the last one and I'm a bit nervoussss hihi Let me know your thoughts on this chapter and komh in general *mwah*.  

If you liked this piece and want early access to new ones and exclusive access to others, subscribe to my patreon!💘

▸ check my main masterlist | patreon guide and my taglist.

taglist: @sachaa-ff @mickslover @mishaandthebrits @fdl305 @iloveyou3000morgan @crimeshowjunkie @saintslewis @carojasmin2204 @chaoticevilbakugo @wondergirl101ks @smiithys @shhhchriss @f1kota @lunnnix @karmabyfernando @crashingwavesofeuphoria @schumacheer @callsign-scully @v1naco @dearxcherry @elliegrey2803 @peachiicherries @he6rtshaker @therealcap @mehrmonga @the-depressed-fellow @cixrosie @darleneslane @buckybarnessweetheart @nichmeddar @fastcarsandshit @goldenalbon @balekanemohafe @jamie2305 @nzygftoji @skepvids @bbreezybitch @graciewrote @ferrariloverr @heelariously @thatgibbsygirl @minkyungseokie @scopeiguess @princewis @leclercsluv @alessioayla @littlesatanicassholebitch @barcelonaloverf1life @noncannonships @fanboyluvr

©thisismeracing. do not copy, steal, or translate my work; do not repost on a different media platform.  

[soleilnomoon]

Hi again! Still absolutely adore your Kid fic from your last event 💜 Never got around to asking for a Sanji one, so here I am again😅 But seriously, congrats on over 550 followers!! Love seeing your blog grow, cause you’re really talented and deserve them all and legit can’t wait til you hit 1k+ 🥰

For the event order, may I please ask for a #1 with my boi Sanji, with anmitsu, konpeito, and keylime pie and with honey, please? 🥹 i hate this but need some sanji angst 😭

I also dunno if these three would work particularly well together for a prompt, so you can choose whatever! just really feeling angst and sanji rn and maybe comfort if you’d like 🥰

Thank you for all your works you’ve done so far 💜💜

hiiii omg haha i loved that fic fr (i'm obsessed w that man!!!) also ily for requesting sanji i don't write him nearly enough 🥰️ but thank you sm!! 😭 making me all soft and i am so so sorry this took forever, as u know i am so slow but!!! i had fun tormenting sanji w the angst ngl 💓💓💓💓 also those were great choices for the prompt, i wanted to write more but it would've been 8k words before i finished and who has time for that (i do, but listen... that's besides the point) ✨

2k words, fem reader (honestly gn too now that i think abt it), sfw (SHOCKING i know), 18+ mdni, a lil bit suggestive but nothing wild, angst angst angst city babey, fluff if you squint, also i gave u comfort bc u deserve it bb 💗(and sanji does too); feat. sanji being in denial forever and ever, mutual pining, fake unrequited love, reader is determined and sanji is a coward; also i made myself sad writing this but a good sad bc sanji deserves happiness and i'll fight oda if he doesn't get it i s2g... (if u see grammar mistakes/spelling errors... no u didn't 💗)

“loving each other began this way: threading / loneliness into loneliness / patiently, our hands trembling and precise.” — yehuda amichai

STEP 01:

what does it take to kill a soul? —

a question that’s posed unironically, without a hint of remorse or tact, the words precise and venomous, slicing through the thick veneer that he’s carefully crafted. he’s never been able to answer that question — not at six years old, not twelve or fifteen, and not at twenty-one. his siblings took pleasure in taunting him with seemingly philosophical questions, ones that clamped down onto his thoughts with heavy shackles.

even after he’s extracted himself from that life, he can’t scrub those memories from his mind — no matter how hard he tries. they sit, still raw and bloody, giving rise to unpleasant emotions that make his stomach churn from so many things left unsaid. he never set out to be a pirate, but piracy has given him the sort of freedom that he could only wish for as a child.

it’s with tender hands, with nimble yet graceful fingers, and with a fastidiousness that puts him in a category of his own, that he creates and creates and creates —

he’s told he’s an artist, which only pushes him to work harder, to be better. and when he asks himself why, he doesn’t have an answer. or, rather, the answer he does have only serves as a punishing reminder that he’ll never be good enough. no matter how many times his crew mates thank him — their emphatic, genuine praise a soft, warm breeze against his heart, gentle caresses that he commits to memory — despair still manages to infiltrate, a darkness choking out what little light he has left inside of him.

STEP 02:

how far are you willing to go to reach the truth? —

when you join the crew, he’s unnerved by your presence, which is wholly unlike him. usually, he’s able to put on his façade of the flirtatious cook, one that’s jovial and sociable, that lives to serve and please those around him. his first conversation with you ends in disaster; he spills the drink he tried to pour for you, despite your insistence that you are perfectly capable of pouring your own drink — and he knows it’s not out of malice, but it cuts into him all the same.

he tries again and again, bringing you little treats that you only agree to eating if he sits and eats with you; confusion eats away at his mind, and when he opens his mouth to decline, you pat the seat next to you and he acquiesces. he sits stiffly, at first, unsure of why he always feels on edge around you — an irritating need to impress you in a way he’s never wanted to for others grows stronger by the day.

you think it’s cute that he always seems flustered around you — that he stumbles over his words, refuses to hold eye contact with you for longer than thirty seconds — you also think it’s cute that the false bravado that he puts on for the world, diminishes immediately the second you come close to him. if he’s skittish, it’s because you always catch him staring at you; despite his quick reflexes, his reactions around you are slow but pure — childish, almost.

lately he’s clumsier and scatterbrained, nearly burning dinner when you decide to keep him company. you lean against the countertop, a teasing smile on your face — the same one that that caused him to bump his forehead against the cabinet door earlier — as you prattle on about a dream you had. he can barely keep up, his eyes drifting from the skillet to your face, gliding around the curve of your cheek, dipping lower in a slow descent along your neck.

he blinks repeatedly when he reaches your clavicle, stunned at his restraint; and it’s only when you call his name loudly that he realizes he’s left the heat on for too long.

“are you okay?” you ask when you see that he’s fussing over how best to save the dish, mouth moving as he quietly mutters to himself. he barely registers your voice, as an insidious one whispers harshly into his ears about his perpetual incompetence and lack of talent.

you can see that he’s retreated even further into his mind, a feat that also leaves you frustrated. you want to shake him but refrain and grab his hand instead. he snaps out of whatever stupor that held him captive just moments ago, lips parting as he sighs softly before glancing down at you.

“thank you.”

the words are quiet, but impactful, as he didn’t think he’d be able to get them out. you let go of his hand too soon, but he doesn’t say anything else, choosing to focus on cooking than embarrassing himself again in front of you.

you take his silence as a silent dismissal, but you don’t fight him on it — it’s bitter, that sort of rejection, and you swallow back your argument with great difficulty.

STEP 03:

what’s the difference between cowardice and self-preservation? —

frustration bubbles underneath his skin when he can’t find where he placed his lighter; he runs a hand through his hair and tugs on impulse, accidentally ripping a few strands from his scalp. they swirl and tumble onto the ground, pathetic in a way — just like me, but he never really says that out loud. he doesn’t hear your footsteps, although you did your best to remain as quiet as possible.

a cigarette sits in between his lips, and he has half a mind to toss it over the railing of the ship, but a warmth suddenly appears in front of him in the form of a flame. you found his lighter on the floor earlier and meant to give it to him, but every time you got closer, he found every excuse to leave. you don’t realize the impact you have on him — not really, anyway — because he’s genuinely surprised that you can’t hear the heavy beats of his heart that grow more intolerable the longer he hangs around you.

always afraid of being found out, he opts to keep his distance. it’s easier this way, he tells himself, better. but he doesn’t quite believe that; the evidence is plain as day when his tongue feels like its grown three sizes in the span of seconds, where his words get lost and forgotten. it’s all your fault, he reasons; you who insists on talking candidly with him, who insists on listening to him ramble about his dreams, who absolutely insists on stubbornly tearing down his walls, steadily chipping away without a care in the world. he looks at you as if you are the source of all his problems, but he also looks at you as if you’re the solution.

the intensity behind his stare makes your hands tremble slightly, it’s a miracle you’ve managed to keep yourself composed for this long. you light the end of his cigarette with ease, as if you’ve done this for him hundreds of times —and place the lighter into his pants pocket afterwards. if he wasn’t so used to you getting in his personal space all the time, he’d retreat immediately. the proximity is almost too much for him, but he doesn’t step back; you take that as a good sign and keep him company for a few minutes.

you don’t care for the smell of smoke, but on him it smells good. you almost tell him that, but instead bite down on your lip and keep your comment at bay, nerves getting the best of you as you nearly choke on the possibility that your feelings won’t be reciprocated.

another time, maybe. cheeks flushed, you turn your face to look elsewhere. although, you wonder if there ever will be another time. with him, you never know.

he’s still trying to figure you out and why he feels a different sort of calm around you; it’s alarming and new, drumming up an irrational fear within him. he doesn’t think he’s deserving of your attention or affection, and he’s convinced himself that you don’t harbor any romantic feelings for him. and why would you?

one by one, his thoughts pummel into him, acerbic and overwhelming. he exhales a sliver of smoke and puts the cigarette out. he gives you a quick, apologetic look before telling you goodnight, the smile on his face is melancholic and barely existent. you don’t dare say a word, keep your lips pressed together stubbornly; exasperated and dejected, you don’t know what’s worse — his inability to lower his guard around you for longer than ten minutes, or your inability to stop yourself from trying to carve pieces of yourself to give to him.

maybe if you helped him fill the gaping holes in his heart, he’d truly understand how you feel.

STEP 04:

if you had to do it all over again, would you do anything differently? —

sleep evades you after that night, and the night after that, and so forth; it gets so bad that you’re yawning in the middle of the day, falling asleep before you can have a cup of coffee or tea. this does not go unnoticed by the others, and after talking with nami, you feel less out of your element and finally can see the parts of sanji that he wants to keep hidden. her advice is simple: approach slowly and with intent; corner him and don’t let him escape.

you bide your time, full confident that you can find a moment to sit down with him and talk this all out. it doesn’t come easy, but franky mysteriously swaps sanji for the night’s watch — something that should strike you as odd, but it’s a small opening that you take without thinking as you hurriedly climb up to the crow’s nest with a renewed sort of energy.

even with his eyes closed, as he sits lazily on the bench with head tilted back against the wall, he knows it’s you.

“go back to bed,” he says firmly, refusing to look at you.

your stubbornness, unfortunately, wins out. “i’m staying.” at that he sits up, his attention completely on you as his eyes widen at your words. he wants to ask you why, but cowardice wins out — again. as his features soften, a flush crawls along his face, lightly painting his cheeks pink. he closes his eyes again, tries to steady his breathing as he counts backwards, only for his efforts to be obliterated with ease the moment you sit next to him.

as your thigh presses against his, you take his hand and on impulse you trace your fingertip along the lines on his palm. he watches you with a morbid fascination that scares him; but then you start to say things like, “you will live a very long life,” and “you are courageous, and you have a big heart.”

a small part of him wants to pull his hand away, so you won’t say anything else — but he remains put, so still that you almost think he’s stopped breathing. your voice is sweet and disarming, even when you carry on this charade of reading his palm. a belated realization hits him forcefully, making him blink several times; it dawns on him that you’ve always been so kind and gentle with him, even when you teased him. he’s spent all this time overthinking and hiding behind his past, that it never occurred to him that he could have simply let you in. you’ve never given him reason to believe that you’d betray or harm him intentionally.

he takes a deep breath, voice a little uneven, “i—”

you lean in close, adoration dripping onto your words as you interrupt him. “hey, have i told you?” the question glides along his skin, the words seeping into him as you continue, the lilt in your voice a honeyed, melodic spell. “you remind me of starlight and the mysteries of space.” your lips brush against his when you tell him that, and a warmth settles into the middle of his chest, makes it hard to focus. he doesn’t think when he curls his fingers around yours and doesn’t think when heleans down to kiss you — tender yet electrifying all the same.

the move disarms you in a way that doesn’t quite make sense to you, so you simply hum in approval and lean your head against his shoulder. a comfortable silence settles around you both, but you don’t mind that at all; it’s nice, not having to tip-toe around him anymore, and the demons that plagued him for so long don’t seem so intimidating with you by his side.

[kittykittyanon]

Kitty kitty bo bitty banana fanna funfetti!! 🎉🌟 Woooo!! *pops a whole bunch of edible party streamers!! [psst! they taste like creamsicles and chocolate! 😋🍊🍫]*

Aaaaaaa, so. Folds hands in front of me like a businessman ladden with a suppressed genre of woe. i missed the timeframe of your birthday wishes, and I feel sads about it :(( but mostly 💢annoyed💢 because as aforementioned:

🗣i had an entire coded date reminder of it in my calendar. and that b didn't GO OFF.🗣

maybe it's these motorola phones mayne,,, i'm bouta switch over to Samsung–

BUT ANYWAYSSSUUUHH. Never mind that :') I'm here now!! Let's talk about the real star of the show here. Gazes upon you fondly, tangerines and little bubbles and hearts suddenly surrounding my aura as I take in your existence. 🧡

Oh my Kitkat, no words can begin to express the absolute adoration in which I hold for you. I know we haven't known each other long! But the familiarity and warmth you have displayed to be and continue to really makes it feel like we've been friends for five-ever!! [*leans in and whispers* because that's longer than forever /silly!! (っ˘з(˘⌣˘ )]

I never expected to become friends with such a baby face angel such as yourself, but that's usually how the bestest friendships are forged, no? By spontaneous combustion!! We're a heartbeat explosion of starry stuff and soul sister love in the endless sky!! ໒꒰ྀི ๑ ´ ˘ ` ू ꒱ྀིა

What I'm saying is, I love you and everything you stand for. And I am squishing you in every cinnamoroll hug you could ever feel, ever!! Thank you for coming into my orbit, and I can only hope on all the stars in the universe that my own has even a sliver of a positive and love-filled impact on yours as it did mine. 🫶🫶

/) /) (\ (\ ( . . ) ( . . ) ( づ♡⊂ ) 🫧💗✨ <<< look!! it's us!! yay!! (੭˃ᴗ˂)੭🫂❤️

You're just a sweet little wonder and I am so so endlessly grateful to call you my friend. My sweet little baby sis!! Just know that I love you so so much!! I love you!!!! Happy happy birthday, cute little orange blossom cupcake! And cheers to one of the greatest days in the history of EVER!! 🧡🥂✨

🌟。💕。🤗 🍀 。🎁 。🎉 🍾 🌟 ✨。＼｜／。🌺 🎉 Happy 🥰 🎈 🍸 Birthday ! 🥂 💜。／｜＼。💎 。🍀。 🌹。🎉。 🌟。 😊。 🎶

♥♥♫♪Happy Birthday to you ♪♫•¨•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•¨•♫♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪♫•¨•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•¨•♫♪ Happy Birthday dear Kit Kit!!!!! ♥♥♫♪ Happy Birthday to you!! ♪♫•¨•.¸¸♥ ♪♫•¨•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•¨•♫♪ ♪♫•¨•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•¨•♫♪

[oh! and that cute little orange divider is courtesy of one @plutism !! it's so you, is it not? ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧ got major ' you ' vibes from it. tho it may just be me!! teehee 😚😁]

((uwah!!! this was sent 10th february!!!!! i saw it but i didn't have time to respond (つω`｡)))

AW FUCK YEAH EDIBLE STREAMERS LETS GO!!!!! (briefly, you watch me jump to eat them out of the air. ...i miss, several times.)

[ueueueee!! IT IS LONGER THAN FOREVER!!]

[omigosh!! it's literally us!!!!!]

AWWWHWHAGAWSAEEWEWWWWW THE INTERWEAVING OF SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTIONS TO REFERENCE MY EXPLOSIVE TENDENCIES WAAAHHHHH I LOVE YOUUU!!! UWOOOHHHH YOU REALLY THOUGHT OF EVERYTHINGGG!! 。゜゜(´Ｏ`) ゜゜。。゜゜(´Ｏ`) ゜゜。

and just to put the silliness away for a bit,, you never ever EVER have to hope you had an impact on me!! because undeniably,, you did. and you still do.

never doubt that you've had a positive influence on me, zeep. i have never, and never will regret meeting you. (*˘︶˘*).｡.:*♡

*whisper whisper* c'mere,, c'mere!!! i'll tell you a secret,, but you gotta keep it TIP TOP PRIVATE okay soldier!?!??!! i love you. like,, genuinely. i am proud and absolutely delighted to call you my friend. legitimately, no joke,, just thinking of you makes me happy. the impact of your words and your interactions and even your very presence in and of itself is something i will never be able to put into words. you fill the little hole in me,, oddly shaped like a sister and a close friend all mixed up into a cacophony of something utterly fond and incomprehensible in the best way possible. i cradle you close to my heart and smooth my hand over your head,, you brightened up my life without even knowing it. and me, personally,, i think that just goes to show how amazing you are, filled with joy and determination and courage i can't and couldn't seem to see the end of, even if i tried. it'll be okay, zeep. you are funny, and smart, and a sunshine in every sense of the word, even when you're not doing anything at all. you don't know how loved you are. may that little fire in you keep burning for the rest of however long you want it to, may life bring you good things. because you deserve them. all of them.

i wish for the best for you,,, and that you'll get everything you've ever wanted in the whole wide world,, that you'll get loooaaaads of *totally not stolen /j* money,, that you'll get to live the life you want and sleep well at night!! may you be covered in friendly purring cats and many, many oranges you sweet soul!! RAAAAHHHH!! *okay whisper over!!*

thanks for letting me bump into you like a silly jellyfish in the middle of a deep sea exhibit,, zeepie!! I LOVE YOU TOOO!!! (≧◡≦) ♡ (≧◡≦) ♡ (≧◡≦) ♡

[OOOOH!!! it's so silly!! very bright and verrryyy orange!! considering my whole blog theme is a mix of warm colors leaning on orange,, i get that!! very silly,, very kitty!!!!!]

love,, the kitty kitty anon that invaded your inbox ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

[musette22]

Another year have pasted

And here's to many many more

But i wonder...

How brighter can a sun shine?

How taller can a sunflower grow?

Is there such thing as an ageless wine?

Can we have an even whiter snow?

But then i think of you

And my queries seem so dotty

Cause i'm reminded of the angel you are,

The soul you have and the heart you bare

Of how much you're willing to give and how much you care

And i know then and there...

Your smile can shine brighter than any star have tried before

Your kindness have touched the skies with how far it can try and reach

Your wisdom, that came not only with age but hardship, persistence, strength and so much more,

Has so much to offer and much more to teach

And then there's the goodness of your heart

That has me on the brink of tears

For no matter the doubts,

No matter the hurt,

No matter the fears

That i may have, or a friend might too

We can all find that blissful comfort,

When we simply turn to you 💛

Happy birthday, Minnie Sweets 💜 I love you 💋

Me reading this incredible ask poem (I'm getting old after all) ☝🏻

OULA, YOU ABSOLUTE TREASURE 💛💛💛💛💛💛 This is sooooooooooooooo sweet and touching and wonderful and I'm genuinely not sure what I've done to deserve a friend like you, my love, but I am so so very grateful to know you 🥺🥺💞 💞 💞 💞

Excuse me while I go reread this a dozen times at LEAST. I love you to the moon and back and I hope that the universe is smiling down on you today and every day until forever, because there is no one who deserves it more than you do ❤️ Sending you aaaaaaaaaaaaaaallll the hugs and kisses, my darling! You're utterly wonderful and don't you forget it 🥰🥰🥰💗💗💗💗💗🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻

[zepskies]

Aw yay!! I'm really happy to hear that. 🥰😘

I just felt like there was a little more to explore in the time gaps of Part 2, namely with some important conversations that would've had to happen after reader and Dean finally get together at the end and before the wedding. 😅

And Benny honestly started to frustrate me the most the longer I thought about him (not me trying to find the only thing wrong with that man lol). It doesn’t take away from him being a class act at the end there, but he honestly was a bit of a shitty friend to Dean. If we relate it back to Friends and Joey’s feelings for Rachel, he always, always, always put his his friendship with Ross first and was willing to suffer. I truly think he would’ve sold his soul to get them back together, no matter how much it would have hurt him 🥲💔 And I don’t see that priority with Benny. Even during the visit at the hospital, instead of telling reader she won’t be alone because Dean will get his act together, he implied that he will be there. But he should’ve walked right out of there, pulled Dean aside and told him his baby momma is afraid of being alone, that Dean might have a real shot there, and if he truly wants this, he should stop with all that Lisa bullshit and fight for his family 🤷‍♀️

Omg you're so right! With Joey it was always clear that he was willing to self-sacrifice rather than hurt Ross. I think of all the "friends," Joey had the biggest heart. 💗

Whereas here, Benny was pretty selfish to go after the reader, thinking Dean was all wrapped up with Lisa and didn't want her like he did. 🤔 I so agree with you that Benny really should've "real talked" with Dean - asking him what he's doing with Lisa when clearly the reader needs his support. In that sense, Benny was an opportunist -- he stepped in where Dean should've been, intentionally wanting to be that guy.

Secondly, I totally can see that Dean didn’t make a move all this time because he was so scared of getting rejected again. And Lisa was available and offering, so he pretty much settled, thinking he’d never have a shot with reader. Makes complete sense to me and is definitely a trademark Dean move 🤓

BIG YEP. That was the crux of it with Dean - he was young and scared of a second rejection, and afraid to "mess up her life" even more, even though she 100% doesn't see it that way. It's the typical Dean self-worth issues wrapped in AU clothes. 😅🙃💙 (This is 💯 one of those issues that's going to be explored in the epilogue)

And PS: Your friend probably did cut out coffee. A lot of women do. Either because they want to or because it’s still a common misconception (I thought that too, but all the books said a cup is allowed). Knowing you’re a coffee lover, I just wanted you to know you’re allowed to have that life-saving cup in the morning 😘💜

Ahhh thank you!! In the future if you don't mind, I might hit you up with a pregnancy question if I run into one of these ideas in a fic. 😆😆

Girl yes, my Cuban blood would probably stop flowing. 🤪☕ I think I would die if I didn't have my 1 cup per day to wake me up in the morning. Like I tell my family, "I'm not even breathing yet. Don't talk to me."

Aw I'm so glad you love your tag! 😘 Wanted to give you some lovely alliteration back from one writer nerd to another.~

IF I STAY - Part 2

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Plus-Sized!Reader

Summary: Your dream is to work with kids as an elementary school teacher. Dean is well on his way to becoming a firefighter, keeping things light and “strings unattached” as he goes. After a one-night stand you never saw coming, you and Dean are forced to deal with the consequences…and figure out if the connection between you is worth fighting for.

AN: Deep breaths Are you ready for a rollercoaster of emotions? 😘❤️

Song Inspo: “I Can’t Help Falling in Love” and “It’s Now or Never” by Elvis

Word Count: 13.1K

Tags/Warnings: Angst, pregnancy feels, hurt/comfort, fluff, time jumps and flashbacks, sexual tension, mutual pining, spice~, and an ending…

❤️‍🔥 If I Stay Masterlist

Part 2: It’s Now or Never

At the doctor’s office, Dean goes in with you for the first trimester ultrasound. There you learn that you’re going to have a boy. Tears well up in your eyes and slip down your cheeks.

Dean wears a look of amazement as he sits on the edge of your bed. He takes up your hand and squeezes gently. He tries to be a strong support, even though he also tries to hide the fear that begins to churn in his gut.

For one of the first times in his life since Sam was born, he feels the weight of responsibility pressing down on him. In a good way. In a fucking scary way.

He looks at you and sees the wonder written across your face while you watch the tiny shape of your baby on the screen. His heartbeat thwaps fast and loud in the speakers.

Dean realizes something else then; the decision you're making is changing the course of your whole damn life…and it’s his fault.

With his weekly hookup rate, in the very back shelves of his mind he knew something like this could happen, even though he thought he'd been careful. (Apparently, condoms are fragile little shits.) But here, in this white wall-to-wall room that smells like hospital antiseptic, that thwap thwap thwap of a heartbeat reverberating in his ears, the reality of this is crashing hard on his shoulders and rattling down to the base of his spine.

Despite his earlier happiness, those thoughts stay with him when you two eventually get back into his car. You have the pictures of the sonogram in your hands. You smile down at them before you put them back in your purse for safekeeping.

However, you notice Dean’s sudden melancholy as he stares out at the road. He’s started the car, but he hasn’t moved to pull out of the parking lot yet.

“Hey, you okay?” you say, resting a gentle hand on his arm.

Dean shakes his head. “Look…I’m sorry for tossing a giant friggin’ monkey wrench into your life. I know this hasn’t been easy for you.”

If possible, your heart softens even more. You slide your hand down to grasp his.

“Dean, this baby wasn’t planned, but he’s not a mistake,” you say. “I don’t regret anything.”

Dean stares back at you, incredulously. He can’t believe you could really say that to him. He doesn’t know what to say. He only knows what’s in his mind, and what he feels compelled to do in that moment.

He leans over and kisses you. It’s a firm meeting of his lips to yours and achingly familiar. But ultimately, it’s chaste. He pulls away and settles back in his seat.

When you blink your eyes back open, your expression is slack in shock.

“I’m sorry,” he says, seeming sheepish, and guilty. “I meant to say thank you. Just didn’t know any other way to say it.”

After a moment, you smile at him. It’s warm and almost shy.

Dean clears his throat, trying to ignore the way his face is heating up. He doesn’t say anything more. He just takes the wheel and shifts gears, pulling the car out of the parking lot. 

You don’t know what possesses you to bake cookies. Dozens and dozens of them, all the chocolate chip cookie recipes you can find. You’re in search of the perfect one. This will be the recipe your son will grow up on, and every time he eats them, he’ll remember how much you loved him.

And then, he’ll be ruined for any other chocolate chip cookies that try to grab his taste buds. He’ll say, Blech. Chips Ahoy? These aren’t as good as Mom makes!

…Or something like that.

Yes, these cookies have to be perfect. You’ll even write the ingredients down on a notecard and hide it away, and it’ll become your family secret recipe.

Once you feel like your cookie game is strong enough, you decide to test these babies out. You bring two dozen painstakingly baked confections to Firehouse 83, where Dean works. The man is a bottomless pit, to be sure, but you also want other people’s unbiased opinions. For science.

You park your car on the side of the road, making sure you’re not blocking the driveway where two huge fire trucks are parked. You head inside the firehouse with your big container under your arm and your purse on the other. Now at seven months into your pregnancy, you’ve gotten to the embarrassing “waddle” stage.

You’re still determined to be active though! You plan to keep working until you have the baby. Your parents live a few hours away, but you’re grateful that they want to help out as much as possible.

Even though they weren’t happy to hear about how you got pregnant, by now they've met Dean and begrudgingly admitted to liking him. He's really stepped up to the responsibility of a future father, insisting on baby-proofing your apartment, helping you shop for the essentials, and going with you to as many doctor’s appointments as he can. He’s even agreed to giving you child support payments, even though you hadn’t wanted to ask for it.

You look for him now as you enter the firehouse, trying to push the heavy glass door open with one hand.

“Here, I got you,” says a familiar baritone voice.

You’re pleasantly surprised at the man who helps you inside.

“Benny! It’s good to see you.”

“Yeah, been…a while,” he chuckles, glancing down at the swell of your belly, but he squeezes your shoulder and leans in to hug you gently.

“Dean filled you in?” you ask. You hope so. Having to explain the story to one of his own friends would be embarrassing, especially since this is the man you walked in Sam’s wedding with. It reminds you of that day, and the way you told Dean that news in a glorified closet, with shaking hands and the wrong kind of butterflies.

Thankfully, Benny nods. “That he did…but come on, I’ll show you around. And I see you’ve brought somethin’ special for us?”

He gestures at the container you're holding and offers to take it off your hands. You give it to him, grateful for the help.

“Yeah, and I want you guys to give me your honest opinion.”

Benny tosses you a wink and a smile. “That I can do.”

Your cheeks begin to warm in a blush, but the way he helps you to a comfy couch in the common room earns your smile. There are still good men left in this world, and you’re glad to know that Dean works so well with one.

“You want some coffee, or water? Think we might have some lemonade,” Benny says.

“Water would be great, thank you,” you reply, as you rub your belly. The little man has decided to kick at your liver today. “I stopped drinking coffee for the baby. ”

It's your biggest challenge, to be honest. Try wrangling a group of fifteen to twenty six-year-olds while running on green tea, the fumes of sleep deprivation, reduced bladder control, and as much vim as you can muster.

“Ah, right,” Benny nods. “My sister has two kids. She cut out coffee, pain meds, some dairy stuff. But she claimed cheesecake was all right, ‘cause it’s got cake in the name.”

You giggle. “I see no flaw in her logic.”

Down the hall of the firehouse, Dean is just coming back in from going through a set of drills. He’s still the Candidate—the freshest blood in the house—so they’ve been putting him through his paces for the past several months. He’s eager to learn and to prove himself.

His ears perk up in confusion though. Did he just hear your voice?

Why does it smell like a bakery in here?

When he rounds the corner, he sees you in the common room, smiling and giggling like a teenager at something Benny said to you while he eats a soft baked cookie right out of a Tupperware container. You must’ve brought it for the firehouse.

This cozy little scene kind of annoys Dean somehow, though he doesn’t know why. He does know that it shouldn’t.

“Hey, look who’s here,” Dean says, forcing himself to smile. It becomes easier when you look his way, your eyes brightening at his arrival.

“There you are! Come ‘ere and try these,” you say, pointing at the box Benny holds. “Tell me if our son’s going to have the best PTA mom ever.”

Dean can’t help but grin after trying a big bite of one of your cookies.

“Oh, mah Gah,” he says, holding a hand under his mouth so nothing comes crumbling out.

“Good?” you ask.

“Good friggin’ cookie,” he confirms, after he swallows. “You’re gonna have the other parents frothing at the mouth. Who’s gonna be able to compete with this?”

Benny nods in agreement. When Dean squeezes your shoulder, your sweet, happy smile makes him smile too.

She’s going to be a good mom, he thinks. He can only hope against hope that he can be the man his son needs.

Two months later, the time has finally come. Your water breaks when you’re in the middle of teaching your second graders how to spell exaggerate—and no, Joey, it’s not e-g-g-zagerate.

However, the embarrassment of him pointing out the fluid beginning to stain your slacks is swiftly cut off by your shock. Your first call is to the principal, to have her send someone to cover your class. Your next call is to Dean, telling him to meet you at the hospital.

“Why the hell did he have to bring her,” you mutter to yourself, wiping sweat from your brow. Here you are, gritting your teeth through contraction after contraction in this damn hospital bed, and Dean is outside the room talking to Lisa.

You know you have no real reason to be upset. She’s been trying her best to be your friend in recent months. Hell, she helped Eileen and your mom plan your baby shower. She even brought you flowers when she got to the hospital, but you notice how less than five minutes after she got here, she and Dean became embroiled in yet another argument. It seems to you that all they do is argue, break up for a week or two, and then get back together again.

The sex must be explosive, like the fireworks at goddamn Disney World.

But Dean eventually does come back into the room alone. His support grounds you over the next few hours. He lets you basically break his hand, all while he gives you encouragement (and stands by your shoulder, so he doesn’t see anything you’d rather him not see).

And then, your son is born. Every muscle, every cell in your body is exhausted, but the pain meds have kicked in, and you’re in that blissed out state between abject reality and being entirely entranced by the bundle in your arms. His perfect face is just there, sleeping for the moment after the nurses taught you how to breastfeed.

Dean returns to sit in the chair beside you. He gives you some water and a piece of a protein bar. You’re not that hungry, but he pointed out that you haven’t eaten since before your water broke.

“Sam and Eileen are on their way up,” he says.

You nod in reply. You’re too into your son right now to think of anything else.

Dean shakes his head in wonder as he reaches out with a tentative hand, brushing his fingers over the baby’s downy head. He was born with a little tuft of brown hair.

“Okay, down to business,” Dean says, shooting you a playful look. “I vote for Zeppelin.”

You groan. “Dean, no. Veto. I’m not naming my son after a rock band.”

“Aw, come on. It’s a badass name!”

“What about Aiden?” you suggest.

“Veto,” he snorts. You two agreed to getting five “vetos” each, but this discussion has been more like a battle of wills over the last several months.

“Okay, what about Daniel? That’s strong, classic,” you pose.

Dean considers it with a tilt of his head. “All right, that one’s a maybe.”

Again, he strokes the baby’s soft cheek. You look over at Dean with a small smile.

“You’re going to be a good dad, you know,” you tell him. It earns his gaze. Although he’s trying to stay strong, you read the hidden insecurity there, the worry and fear. You rest a hand on his arm. “You are, Dean. You’re a good man, and you’ve really stepped up these past few months. This obviously isn’t how either of us thought our lives would go, but if this had to happen with someone, I’m glad it’s you.”

Dean’s expression softens. He hesitates, but he lays a hand over yours and squeezes gently.

“Thanks,” he says.

Your eyes meet, and it’s a moment charged with something you can’t even name. It’s not the first time you’ve felt this feeling with him. It both fills your heart with warmth, and makes you ache.

Then the door opens. It’s Lisa, Sam, and Eileen. Dean’s hand slips away from yours as they all pour in to congratulate you and Dean, and of course, meet the baby. There’s a lot of soft cooing and playful shushing.

In that small chaos, your parents call to tell you that they’re finally almost here. It really sucked not having your mom with you, but your parents live far enough away that they were going to take a train and stay with you for at least a week. Their train unfortunately got delayed due to mechanical failure.

It's okay though. Getting through the past several hours has made you realize that you’re stronger and more capable than you think, and even though part of you is still scared to death, you don’t need a husband to be a good mom. You’re going to give this your all, no matter who’s beside you…

And that's no more apparent than when Dean soon has to step out again, leading Lisa out of the room. He saw how her “helpful” suggestion to have a get-together at their apartment to celebrate the baby’s birth was setting you on edge. Really, you just want to sleep for the next 24-hours and not have any more pictures of you taken.

It gets loud enough outside your hospital room that Sam and Eileen feel they have to intervene. Lisa is Eileen’s best friend, and she’s the best equipped to try and deescalate the argument from that end, while Sam deals with Dean. It’s messy, it’s irritating, and it means that even today, you can’t just have a little bit of peace.

You sigh and cradle your still nameless baby close to your chest. He’s all that matters. Already, your heart is so damn full just taking him in.

“What’s your name, my little love?” you whisper. “What am I going to write on your certificate, besides Winchester?”

“How about Benjamin,” comes a Louisiana drawl.

You perk up and smile in surprise. “Benny, hey.”

He greets you with a slightly hesitant kiss on the cheek. He’s brought the baby an adorable teddy bear, and you a beautiful bouquet of white and blue roses, along with a box of chocolates.

“It’s the assorted kind, but they’ve got plenty of the caramel ones you like,” he says, then gazes down at the baby. “Aw, he’s a little charmer. Already got more of you than Dean, that’s for sure.”

You laugh lightly at his teasing. “I don’t know about that.” You hope your son inherits Dean’s strong jaw, and his green eyes.

Benny scratches the back of his head. “Also…sorry if I’m crossing some kind of boundary here. Looks like it’s a bit of a circus outside.”

You shake your head and smile through burgeoning tears. You set the chocolates on the end table where he’s placed the flowers and the teddy bear.

“No, it’s very sweet. Thank you,” you say. You glance out the window of your room to the hallway, where the arguing between Dean, Lisa, Sam, and Eileen seems to finally be calming down. You’re so damn tired, you don’t give a crap about whatever they’re hashing out now.

You look down at your son, and despite your strong thoughts earlier, insecurity begins to creep back into your mind like inky claws.  

“How are you holding up?” Benny asks. His face is kind and concerned when he notes the change in you.

You meet him with a wobbly smile. “Honestly? I’m afraid. I know I have a lot of people who want to support me, and I’m grateful, but…I just have this terrible feeling that we’re going to end up alone, him and me.”

You look down at your son, and you have to wipe away a tear from your eye before it falls on his face.

A large, warm hand rests over yours. Your gaze raises slowly, and Benny smiles at you. He’s serious though.

“Don’t you worry about that,” he says. “You’re not gonna be alone.”

FIVE YEARS LATER... 

For all that changes, there are some things that stay the same.

Dean and Lisa are still the world’s most “off again, on again” couple you’ve ever met. Sam and Eileen are still going strong as the hardworking, driven career couple. Your son is growing more and more every day and just started kindergarten this year.

(You ultimately caved on Dean’s idea to name him Robert, as in Robert Plant, lead singer of Led Zeppelin.)

Oh, yeah, and the “you and Benny” thing? That’s been going well for two years now.

What can you say? The man is persistent, but respectfully so. He’s considerate, reliable, and always calls you when work at the firehouse has him running late.

You haven’t yet invited him to move in with you. That part you’re still hesitant on, mostly because of your son, but Benny helps you drop off Robbie at school and makes breakfast for you all whenever he stays over your apartment. Benny takes an interest in your son’s life and keeps up with all his energy, taking him to the park to run himself ragged before dinner, and helping you tuck him in at night.

Benny is a bit closed off though, the strong stoic type. He’s hard for you to get a read on, and sometimes you wonder if he’s just indulging you when you ramble on about your day or make silly jokes. Even now, sometimes you withhold the first thought that comes to your mind, hoping he doesn’t think you immature or…too much.

But Benny shows his caring in all those little things he does for you. They add up into the big things, and he makes you feel supported. He makes you feel safe.

He even helps you plan your son’s fifth birthday. Robbie wanted to go all out on a dinosaur theme; he’s been hooked on Jurassic Park ever since Benny “accidentally” let him watch it with him on one of your rare nights out with your friends.

So you set up a little party at the park by your apartment. You managed to reserve the biggest gazebo, where there are three picnic tables covered with dinosaur plates, and tablecloths, streamers in different shades of green. You even bought a big dinosaur cake—also in a radioactive green color that you hadn’t been sure about, but your son talked you into. Robbie thinks it’s awesome.

He’s running around on the playground with a few of his friends from school. Their parents (along with Sam, Eileen, and Lisa) are talking amongst themselves at one of the picnic tables while you try to figure out how to get the Bluetooth speaker to connect with your phone.

“Haha! Got it. If you're so smart, Alexa, why don't you connect on the first try?” You fist-pump the air triumphantly, just as Benny comes to your side. He wraps an arm around your waist and kisses your cheek, making you smile.

“How’s it going out there?” you ask, nodding at the kids. Plus Dean, who’s gamely been the one to keep them entertained with different games. Right now, it’s a thrilling game of Cowboys and Outlaws, where Robbie and his friends are the cowboys, and Dean is the outlaw. He’s been hiding under the slide, behind trees and other playground fixtures, while the kids have little squirt guns to pelt him with water every time they find him.

It's pretty damn cute, and you’ve been taking pictures. You smile at the sight of Dean leaping out at Robbie and the kids, catching them off guard.

“You’ll never take me alive, Sheriff!” Dean declares.

“Oh, it’s goin’,” Benny remarks with an amused shake of his head. “Still hard to believe that guy’s about to make it to Lieutenant.”

“Hahaaa, gotcha!!” Dean cackles. He’s grabbed up Robbie and yanked him over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry. Robbie screeches with laughter while his dad runs around the playground, being chased by a bunch of five-year-olds with squirt guns.

Your smile threatens to make your cheeks hurt. You know your life is…unconventional, to say the least, but Dean is a good father to your son. He’s also been working hard at his job. He just took the Lieutenant’s test, and even though Benny already occupies that position at Firehouse 83, a spot at another firehouse might open up for Dean to transfer.

“Part of me doesn’t want to,” Dean admitted to you last week, while he was working on fixing your stubborn, leaky sink. “All the guys there, they’re like family, you know?” “I understand,” you nodded. “You have to do what feels best for you, whether that’s staying where you feel comfortable, or moving up in your career somewhere else. If it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it.” He took in your advice with a slow nod. “Yeah, thanks. Guess I have to time to think about it. Lisa had other ideas.” “Of course,” you said with a smile, but it soon dropped. “Why, what did she say?” “Do what I can to move up,” he sighed. “She’s got a point. That title comes with a pay bump, one I could really use right now.” “I get that. Totally valid,” you said. “But I just think it’s important for you to be happy with it too. Especially with what you do, helping people, saving people…I’d imagine being in the right mindset for all that is important, right? Who you work with can be just as important as the money stuff.” Dean considered you with a smile. “Yeah, exactly.”

As you think about it now, you have to admit that he’s grown up a lot.

Dean has to lean against a tree to catch his breath. Am I already getting too old for this crap?

Feels kind of young to have a stitch in his side after a few rounds with these kids, but even he has his limits. Lisa comes to bring him a bottle of ice-cold water, which he appreciates. He’s tempted to dump it over his head like he does after successfully neutralizing a fire. It gets literally hot as hell under that helmet and mask and all his gear underneath.

“Need an iron lung?” Lisa teases.

“Toss in a new pair of knees, thanks,” he wheezes. He downs half the water bottle in one go, but he smiles at seeing his son keep running around with his friends. He’s just got that manic kid energy that goes on for days. But Robbie’s also smart; like Dean, he likes taking things apart and putting them back together in new and ingenious ways.

Dean hopes his son likes the new model car set that’s waiting for him on the picnic table full of presents. In fact, he’s still surprised that you didn’t go with the race car theme he suggested for the party, but apparently, Robbie’s more into dinosaurs now. Dean wishes he knew that before he bought the model car set.

He looks over and catches sight of you and Benny wrapped up in each other. He has his arm around your waist while you fiddle with something, but the way you lean over and whisper near his ear elicits a smile on Benny’s face.

Dean’s good mood diminishes.

“Well, don’t they seem cozy,” he mutters.

Lisa arches a manicured brow. “Yeah, pretty sure he’s getting ready to propose.”

That earns Dean’s attention, his head swiveling back to her in surprise.

“Really?” he asks. “Who told you that?”

“His sister,” she replies. “Meg’s in my intermediate class, remember?”

Dean nods, sipping at his water, even though he’s a bit absent in the eyes. Lisa watches him shrewdly.

“Why do you seem upset about it?” she asks. “Benny’s your friend.”

“I know,” Dean says. He doesn’t need that reminder, or the guilty twinge. It’s not like he’s done anything wrong.

“And she seems happy,” Lisa points out. “Don’t you want the mother of your kid to be with a good man who treats her right?”

He nods, trying to hide his growing annoyance. “‘Course I do. I just…I don’t know. I still don’t see them together, I guess.”

“Well, they’ve been together for like, two years.”

Again, Dean nods his acknowledgement. It’s hard for him to believe that so much time has passed already. He honestly didn’t think you and Benny would be together this long. He’d always felt a little uncomfortable with one of his best friends dating you, but you’d seemed happy about it, so he didn’t discourage it. But he’d never been very supportive, either. At least, not about your relationship.

Lisa sighs and grabs his arm, pulling him aside before he can rejoin the party.

“Listen, we need to talk about something,” she says.

Dean restrains a tired groan. “Can this wait ‘til later?”

“I think we should do this now,” she says. A hallmark Lisa-ism. She’s opinionated and strong-willed, something Dean’s always respected about her. Sometimes though, the timing is damn irritating. He doesn’t want to get into another argument with his girlfriend in public, especially not at his son’s birthday party.

“Speaking of commitment,” she says with a sigh. “I think it’s fair to say that we’ve been on a five-year rollercoaster, you and I. You know why that is?”

“I’m sure you’re gonna tell me,” Dean says, crossing his arms.

“It’s because you’re spread too thin,” she says. “Between the firehouse, construction jobs on the side…not to mention other things.”

“What? What’re you talking about?”

Lisa’s lips purse, before she pointedly gestures over at you with her eyes. “Well, for example. You’re still going to her place after your next shift to fix her fridge, right?”

“Yeah, I mean, should be pretty simple. I’ve just gotta swing by the hardware store and grab this specialty tool I ordered—”

“Dean,” Lisa deadpans. “That’s exactly the kind of thing I’m talking about.”

She heaves a deep breath, running her fingers through her long brown hair.

“I get that navigating this situation hasn’t been easy for you,” she says. “It hasn’t exactly been easy for me either, but look.”

Lisa takes his hands in hers, uncrossing his arms. “I want to get married someday. I want kids too. And I want that kind of life with you��I’m just not sure you want it with me.”

Dean expels a heavy sigh. “Lis—”

“Don’t answer me right now,” she says, but she levels him with a serious look. “You need to decide though, Dean. Five years is long enough. You should know by now if you want to be with me.”

After letting go of his hands, she softens the edges of her words with a gentle kiss on his cheek. Then she turns to join the group now gathered around the picnic table where the food is, all the kids cheering for pizza and cake.

After the party, Sam, Eileen, Lisa, and Benny pack up their cars and yours with the leftover food, party supplies, and presents. Dean helps you clean up the trash, all while keeping an eye on Robbie getting out the last of his sugar-high on the playground swing.

You shake your head tiredly, if with a fond smile. “That kid’s gonna be up all night hype on that radioactive cake.”

Dean chuckles. “You want me to take him tonight?”

“It’s okay. I think he’s going to want to play with his toys,” you reply.

“Well, he could just as easily do that at my place,” he reasons.

You consider it, but you shake your head. “Yeah, but we got him the bike. He’s probably gonna want to try it out for a few minutes before we get him cleaned up.”

“By ‘we,’ you mean you and Benny,” Dean says, his tone becoming surly. “And about that. Don’t you think a bike is something you should run by me? That’s typically a ‘dad’ kind of gift.”

You pause what you’re doing at the sound of his tone. Your brows knit together.

“Sorry, but I feel like a bike isn’t exclusively a dad thing,” you say.

“My dad got me my first bike,” Dean replies. “Spent a whole three days teaching me how to ride.”

You take a minute to think about it. You understand where Dean’s coming from, so you nod.

“Okay, I get it. You want to be there to help teach Robbie? I’m sure he’d love that.” 

Dean tosses a wadded-up ball of frosting-covered napkins and stops, letting his hands fall to his sides in frustration. He draws closer and helps you untie the balloons from the picnic table.

“Yeah, I do, but that’s not the point,” he says. “Why can’t I take him home tonight?”

You blink up at him in confusion. “Well, like I said. The bike—”

“That I should’ve gotten for him,” he snaps. “Which, let me guess, Benny picked out. Right?”

You frown at him in earnest now. “Dean, why are you getting so upset about it? It’s just a bike.”

“Well you know what, it’s not! And it’s not just the damn bike either.” He swipes a hand over his face in annoyance, a telltale sign you’ve come to read well on the man. “Look, I’m missing too much shit, all right? Like, like the dinosaur thing! And the fact that I only get him on the weekends.”

You turn toward him, trying to put a cap on your own annoyance. This isn’t the first time you two have had a conversation like this. 

“We’ve gone over this before, Dean. Your schedule at the firehouse is just too unpredictable,” you say. “Robbie needs as much stability as possible between us. But…okay, if you want to take him tonight, that’s fine. We can bring the bike over to your place and show it to him there.”

You’re trying to be as reasonable as possible, and Dean knows that. Still, anger prickles just under his skin, and he can’t help but push his luck.

“You still should’ve asked be before you got the bike in the first place,” he argues.

Your brows raise high. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me.”

“Look, it’s not like we bought him a Honda Civic. Honestly, Dean, why are you picking a fight with me right now?” you ask. “Did you and Lisa get into it again or something?”

Dean looks away and crosses his arms, giving you all the confirmation you need.

“Yeah, that’s right,” you nod. “I saw you two over there on the playground, looked pretty heated. But do me a favor. Don’t come at me with that energy, because I’m too damn tired of it!”

When you walk away from him, Dean can’t help but stare after you. He knows he fucked that up, just as he knows that you don’t deserve him snapping at you. He’s just too irritated to admit it.

For the entire week that follows, Dean finds himself distracted. He sticks to his word and helps Benny teach his son how to ride a bike in between their shifts at the firehouse, but Dean comes home each night feeling even more frustrated and drained than before. It’s too much, knowing Benny’s slowly but surely carving out a father-figure role in Robbie’s life.

These thoughts follow Dean to work, even while he climbs up the firetruck ladder in the rain. It’s parallel to a busted utility pole that still sparks with electricity, even in this torrential downpour. His task is to get up to the top and grab a large branch that’s tangled in the lines.

Rung after rung, he climbs. His safety mask protects his eyes from the rain, but he wishes they had some mini windshield wipers to keep his vision clear of the droplets pelting him in the face.

He also can’t help thinking of you. If Lisa’s right, then Benny’s about to become a more permanent fixture in Robbie’s life, and yours. 

Okay fine. It’s not like Dean expected you to be single forever, but did you really have to get with one of his best friends? Does it really have to be Benny, who seems so natural with Robbie, and more patient than Dean, and more of a support to you and Robbie than Dean can ever be?

And then there’s Lisa’s little ultimatum. He understands why she’s frustrated with him. Honestly, he’s surprised she’s stuck around this long. He knows she’s not going to wait too much longer for him to get his act together. For him to decide, as she put it.

It’s not that he’s not sure about her, it’s just that…

Just that what? he wonders.

He manages to grab the wily tree branch and maneuver it out of the power lines. 

He just doesn’t realize that his glove doesn’t have quite enough friction on the metal side panel of the ladder. Not only does his hand slip, but he’s forced to let go of the branch while he loses his balance. The branch falls to the sidewalk, far, far down below.

“Dean!” Benny shouts in alarm.

Luckily, the truck itself breaks Dean's fall.

Holding Robbie’s hand tightly in yours is the only thing keeping you steady as you lead him through the hospital. After the receptionist had checked you both in and gave you the room number, you hastened down the hall and up to the right floor. 2005.

Robbie breaks into tears when he finally gets to see his dad, laid up though he is in his hospital bed. Your throat tightens at the sight of Dean hooked up to all those monitors. He has his arm wrapped up and fitted into a sling. He has a thick piece of gauze taped to the side of his face, covering a wide, angry abrasion, but he seems to be resting easy on his back. The bed is at an incline, with most of the overhead lights turned off.

Robbie rushes to the bed before you can stop him. He hesitantly touches Dean’s non-injured right hand. “Daddy?”

“Robbie, wait,” you say, keeping your voice quiet. You quickly go over to the bedside and grab ahold of Robbie’s shoulders, but Dean takes a deep breath. His eyelids crack open.

“Hey, buddy,” he says, attempting a smile. His voice is rough and weak, but at least he’s awake.

Robbie’s lower lip wobbles as tears fill his eyes again.

“Come ‘ere,” Dean says, a little stronger. When he reaches out to his son, the kid hops up onto the bed and buries his face into his father’s chest. Dean holds him as securely as he can, soothing his hand over the boy’s hair and pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

“It’s okay, little man. ‘M okay,” he promises. Robbie nods, but he still continues to cry.

You can’t help but do the same. Tears slip down your cheeks without your consent. Dean beckons you over too, gesturing with his chin and a slight smile. You’re more tentative in the way you sit down at the edge of his bed. You run your fingers through Robbie’s light brown hair to help reassure him. Then, you meet Dean’s gaze and lay a hand on his good shoulder. You don’t know whether you’re steadying him, or yourself.

“How do you feel?” you ask. “The hospital called me. Benny told me what happened.”

The thought reminds you to text your boyfriend. You hadn’t had a chance to tell him you made it here yet. He must be downstairs grabbing a bite to eat, because he’s the one who rode with Dean in the ambulance and has been with him for a while.

“The hospital called you?” Dean notes in slight confusion.

“Eileen told me that Sam is in court right now, so I must’ve been next on the list,” you say. He also must have taken Lisa off his emergency list the last time they broke up for almost a month. He probably forgot to update it again.

You reach out a hand to almost touch the bandage by his temple. Instead, you hesitantly hold the side of his face to see the area better. Dean closes his eyes for a moment. You can see he’s in pain. Your hand lingers on his cheek, but you know, deep down, that it shouldn’t.

Dean doesn’t stop you though. He lets out a deep breath, savoring how nice the gentle touch feels when the rest of his body feels battered to hell.

“Fell off the ladder. Was a stupid rookie move,” he explains, but when he sees that look on your face, he tries to inject a little more joking into a smile. “S’ not so bad.”

“You could’ve broken your head as well as your arm,” you say, more sharply than you mean to.

Robbie whimpers and clings tighter to Dean. You cover your mouth, as if you can trap the words back inside. You don’t want to upset your son more than he already is, so you fall silent. Another tear works its way down your cheek, but you brush it away. Dean shakes his head.

“Hey, I’m okay,” he reassures you too. He manages to smile as he pats Robbie’s back. “Right, buddy?”

The boy’s head perks up. His eyes are still shiny, but he smiles too. He’s not one to speak when he’s upset though, so he just curls up against Dean’s chest and hangs onto him. Dean rests his good arm snugly around him.

You smile and stroke Robbie’s back. Though your hand lowers, resting on Dean’s hand. You take in a deep breath to calm yourself down. Dean’s fingers curl around yours, prompting you to glance up into his eyes. The way he’s watching you is soft, grateful.

Until the door creaks open. Benny steps in with a subtle clearing of his throat. You jolt internally, and you slip your hand away from Dean’s. You offer your boyfriend a wan smile.

“Hey,” you say.

“Hey, baby.” He comes over and greets you with a kiss to the side of your head. He smiles at your son gently. “The gang’s all here.”

“Oh! Let me call Sam, and Lisa too. They still don’t know what’s going on,” you say. You get up from the bed to grab your phone out of your purse. Dean nods in agreement and thanks you, while Robbie plays with his dad's long fingers.

“How you holdin’ up, brother?” Benny asks, after you step out of the room. He settles into the chair near the foot of the bed.

“Ah, you know me. I’m like a cat. Always stick the landing,” Dean says, smiling lazily. The morphine is starting to kick in again.

Benny smirks. “Maybe you do got nine lives, the amount of close calls you like gettin’ yourself into.”

Dean’s good humor fades. He considers his son in his arms, and he shakes his head.

“Yeah, well, no more,” he says. He got a taste of what it would be like to leave his boy behind, and he’s not fucking doing it. He’s not leaving you to raise Robbie by yourself. The mere idea tears a new hole in his heart.

His eyes sting just enough that he has to blink a bit harder, swallowing past a thick well of emotion in his throat. He presses another kiss to the top of Robbie’s head. Then, Dean meets Benny’s gaze.

“Thank you,” he says, and he means it.

Benny nods.

“You got it, brother.”

When Lisa steps off the hospital elevator on the second floor, you happen to be coming out of the bathroom to fix your racoon eyes. You’ve been crying way too much. You attempt to greet Lisa with something reassuring, but she cuts you off. 

“What happened, and why didn’t the hospital call me directly?” she asks.

Her tone is cutting, and it takes you aback.

“Well, Sam and I were listed as his emergency contacts—”

“Why?” she snaps. “You’re not his wife or his girlfriend. I should’ve been listed.”

Jesus Christ. At this point, you can’t help it. You’re too tired and emotionally drained to lasso in your temper with this woman.

“Maybe if you and Dean stayed together longer than five minutes at a time, he’d put you back on the short list,” you sling back. “But the truth is, you’ve never just…been there for Dean. Not without demanding something from him.”

Lisa scoffs incredulously. “Oh, that’s fucking rich coming from you. You’re the reason he can’t commit to anything. You think your little world is the only one that matters, and you call Dean for any little thing! What, don’t you have a boyfriend to help fix your goddamn sink?” 

You open your mouth to retort, but you pause as her words seep into your mind. She might actually have a small point about that one. You realize then just how often you’ve been asking Dean for his help, not just with your apartment, but with your car, and other logistical things that usually have to with Robbie. Dean’s just such a good handyman, and you thought he genuinely liked being able to help…even though Benny did mention once or twice that he’d be just as happy to help you.

“Lisa, this is a lot more than a leaky sink. I just wanted to get here with Robbie and make sure Dean was okay,” you try to explain.

“Good. I’m glad his son was the first person Dean got to see when he woke up,” Lisa says. “But I should’ve been the second.”

She brushes past you before you can even think of what to say. You’re in a state of shock, feeling guilty, incensed, and on the verge of tears all at once.

A familiar voice calls your name, and you turn to Benny just as those tears begin to fall. He gathers you up into his arms and holds you there in the middle of the hallway.

“She shouldn’t talk to you like that, no matter how high tensions are today. I’ll talk to Dean,” Benny says. You shake your head and bury your face in his chest, clenching your fingers in his red flannel shirt. 

“No, it’s okay,” you reply, despite the sob that shudders through you. You’ve lost the will to fight.

Benny shakes his head and presses a kiss to your forehead. “It ain’t okay, baby.”

“Please, don’t bother Dean with this. Especially not right now,” you say. You take a moment to wipe your eyes and get ahold of yourself. “I’m gonna go get Robbie so Dean can rest.”

You can’t shake the feeling that Lisa is right. You do rely on Dean too much. You just don’t want to think about why that is.

Dean makes a full recovery after a few months. He never does hear about what happened in that hallway, but he knows that things need to change. 

He decides to dig out his mom’s engagement ring from a locked box of his parents’ keepsakes, though he’s still waiting on the right time for it. He and Lisa start looking at houses though, for real this time. She hires a realtor and everything. 

He’s making a firm decision, and he thinks it’s the right one. He wants to be there for his son, but he doesn’t want to keep “spreading himself too thin.” He has to figure out how to set some roots, and some boundaries with you while he’s at it. He’ll just have to come to terms with the idea that he won’t get to be there for everything. 

He has to be okay with the fact that you’ll probably marry Benny. You’ll keep making him cookies and cakes, giving him your smile and your time and your body. And Robbie will probably think of Benny as more of a father than his own Weekend Dad. 

Meanwhile, you’ve spent the past few months keeping yourself in check as well. You’ve stopped calling Dean for help whenever something breaks down in your old-ass apartment. You try to keep your conversations less about life and troubles and whatever funny thing your students did that day in class, and more focused on Robbie–strictly about his schedule and his needs.

It’s kind of painful, if you’re honest with yourself. Sam will always be one of your closest friends from college, but in the past five years, Dean has truly become your best friend. Because you’ve told him things. The things that come from sharing a child with someone, like Sunday dinners with your parents, flipping through old yearbooks and childhood pictures—and the details of day-to-day schedules and little stupid things that happen in moments between moments.

Dean also knows the deep cuts. Like being pregnant and scared and breaking down crying on the side of the road. Like sharing the deepest well of your insecurities with someone who knows your body intimately, even if just for one amazing night...a night you’ve never quite been able to put out of your mind.

However, you know that things can’t stay the same. From now on, he just needs to be your son’s father. Nothing more, nothing less. 

So today, on a crisp April 24th, you’re getting ready for a highly anticipated evening with your boyfriend. Robbie is sleeping over your parents’ house, and Benny has been planning something special for your third-year anniversary. 

You slip into your new dress, a deep emerald green, with a pair of black heels you’ve rarely worn since before you got pregnant. Come to think of it, you were wearing these the night of Sam and Eileen’s bachelor-bachelorette party. The night you…well, the night Robbie was conceived. 

You shake your head to rid yourself of those thoughts. You even consider changing. 

You’re being silly, you shake your head. They’re just shoes. 

And yet. Thinking of that time so long ago, it reminds you of a recent Sunday dinner at your parents’ house.

Two Months Ago...

Your parents live modestly, but comfortably in rural Kansas. Their ranch-style home boasts a creek in the backyard, where your dad is teaching your son how to catch minnows. Your mom is inside working on an apple pie, knowing it’s both Dean’s and Robbie’s favorite.

You and Dean have kept close to the house under the shade, sitting on a bench made more comfortable by a pair of old polyester cushions with red, faded flowers.

“How much longer do you have to wear that?” you ask Dean. He glances down at his cast-covered left arm.

“Doc says it’s about ready to come off,” he says.

You nod, allowing yourself a certain smile. “How bad are you itching to grab my mom’s garden shears and cut it off right here?”

“Woman, don’t tempt me,” he says, his lips twitching at a grin. “I’ve been eying those overgrown scissors for the past half hour.”

You laugh and take another sip of your glass. Yours holds sweet tea, while Dean’s has some of your dad’s favorite whiskey. You both raise your heads when Robbie yells across the backyard.

“I caught a minnow!”

“Good job, buddy,” Dean grins. “See if you can catch a marlin!”

“A marlin?” Robbie questions.

“Yeah, like that orange guy in Finding Nemo,” Dean calls back.

Your dad gives Dean the same wry look you do, though yours is tinged with more amusement.

“Dean, that’s a clown fish,” you say. “He’s not gonna find that in the creek.”

“Aw, shit,” he tries to quiet his laugh. “Ah well, should keep him occupied for another twenty minutes.”

You bite your lip to stifle your laughter as well. Though something else occurs to you the longer you watch your son play and explore in the creek. Your dad has the patience of a saint as he puts yet another bait worm on the hook for the kid.

“He’s starting to ask questions, you know,” you tell Dean, in a quieter voice. “‘Why aren’t you and Daddy married? Why can’t we all live together?’”

Dean's brows raise. His good humor dims when he looks over at you.

“What do you tell him?” he asks.

You take in a deep breath, considering your words now as carefully as you did with your son.

“That we care about each other a lot, as friends,” you say, meeting Dean’s eyes. “And we love Robbie very much. Nothing’s going to change that, even if you and I aren’t together like a normal mom and dad.”

Saying it like that makes your heart twinge, for more than one reason. The way Dean’s mouth twitches into a rueful smile just makes it worse, but you try your best to ignore it.

“I never thought about having to explain it to him,” he says, rubbing a hand over his mouth.

It’s that anxious tell of his again. You notice every time he does it.

“I have,” you admit. “I just didn’t know for sure what I was going to say until it was coming out of my mouth.”

Dean smirks a little. “Yeah, that sounds like you.”

You roll your eyes and sip your drink, crossing your arms as well. Dean considers you then, looking at you in a way that makes you raise a brow in question.

“What?” you ask.

“Nothing, it’s just…” He sits back against the bench and rubs his hands down his jean-clad thighs. “For the record, I did try to ask you out once.”

“What?” you scoff incredulously. “No, you’ve been with Lisa since the beginning.”

“Before Lisa,” Dean says.

He isn’t joking. He isn’t teasing. He’s serious as he stares back at you with those green eyes of his. Your brows furrow as you wrack your brain. Did he drunkenly leave you a voicemail on one of those “off again” episodes between him and Lisa? No. You know you’d remember something like that.

“It was a few weeks after the bachelor party,” Dean says. “I called you up, remember?”

Your eyes widen. Finally, that jogs your memory.

“So I just thought maybe you and I could do something again. Maybe you wanna come over my place this time.” And there it is. You deflate at his words, shoulders sagging. The "convenient booty call" proposition.

You have to laugh, shaking your head in disbelief.

“Dean, you did not ask me out,” you say. “You wanted to hook up. There’s a distinct difference.”

Dean frowns at you. “No, I was. I invited you over—”

“For essentially some Netflix and chill,” you retort.

“Hey, I offered to make you dinner,” he argues. “I didn’t say anything about hooking up.”

You pause at that. His earnest denial makes you actually think back to what you remember about that conversation on the phone.

“So I just thought maybe you and I could do something again. Maybe you wanna come over my place this time.” And there it is. You deflate at his words, shoulders sagging. The "convenient booty call" proposition. “I could make us some burgers, toss in a couple of beers and a movie night,” he adds.

You cover your lips with your fingers as you begin to realize…

“That was you asking me out?” you ask incredulously.

Dean’s brows furrow and he throws his hands up. “What? Who doesn’t like a little movie night?”

“Dean,” you huff another laugh. “You could’ve made it sound more like a date.”

“Well, ‘scuse me. Sorry I couldn’t afford the Ritz at the time,” he grumbles.

You sigh. “That’s not what I meant.”

The more you think about it, the more you just shake your head at yourself. Why did you have to overthink it, like you do everything?

“Wow,” you say, softer and more contrite. “I honestly never thought…”

“Yeah,” he says. He shifts his gaze out ahead.

You glance over at him, now more unsure of yourself. He wouldn’t have any regrets, you think. He has Lisa. As much as they go at it, they always inevitably get back together. And now you know they hired a realtor. They’re about to start making solid steps forward.

But Dean surprises you with another question.

“Do you think if…”

He doesn’t finish it, but you think you know what he’s asking. You hesitate, your fingers flexing around your glass that beads with condensation. You set the glass down beside you. 

Just as you open your mouth to reply—

“All right, pie is cooling and dinner is served!” your mom calls out. Her head pokes out of the sliding glass door to the backyard. You offer a smile, trying to hide how you jolted in your seat.

“Okay, thanks, Mom,” you nod.

You turn back to Dean, who also hesitates. His eyes meet yours, but all too soon, he locks the moment away.

Bracing his hands on his knees, he rocks to his feet and goes out to get Robbie and help your dad bring in the fishing gear.

You grab Dean’s whiskey along with your tea on your way back inside the house. You consider the amber liquid disturbed in his glass, and you down the rest yourself. The burn down your throat is a good distraction. If he asks about it, you’ll say you got the glasses confused.

You know you’ll have to leave that conversation unfinished at the foot of the bench.

Now...

Benny comes by your apartment and helps you into the passenger side of his pickup truck, like the gentleman he is. He takes you to a nice restaurant in downtown, much nicer than the usual sports bar or kid-friendly restaurant. You're very much looking forward to eating at a restaurant that doesn't feature chicken fingers or "kiddie" corn dogs.

“This is gonna be really expensive,” you whisper to him, after he hands his keys over to the valet. 

Benny squeezes your hand in his, leaning over to kiss your temple. 

“Don’t you worry about that. We both deserve a night out.” His blue eyes gleam with amusement. However, his gaze gentles, becoming more sincere. “You work hard, carin’ for everybody around you. How about you let me take care of you for once.”

Your eyes begin to water, your throat constricting with emotion. You rub his arm gratefully.

“Thank you,” you say. “You don’t know how much I appreciate that.” 

It’s always easy with Benny. Nice and simple and easy. Nice, supportive, and considerate.

Nice and safe.

That thought follows you while you and Benny walk into to the restaurant. He’s reserved great seats in the back corner, overlooking a beautiful courtyard. It’s decorated with hydrangeas and light wood dining tables, all framed with a rod iron archway as the sun begins to set just so. After holding your chair out for you before he sits himself, Benny orders a bottle of champagne to kick things off.

He turns to you with a somewhat nervous look in his eyes, like he's steeling himself. It’s uncharacteristic of Benny, who’s always so calm and charming and sure of himself. It makes a zing of anticipation run down your spine, and…a dash of fear. You don’t know why, and you don’t know how to beat the feeling down as you fidget in your seat.

He subtly clears his throat, then takes your hand. “Sweetheart, I know I’m not all that good at the words you’re supposed to say. But I can say that the past three years with you and Robbie, it’s come to mean the world to me.”

Your smile softens. He brushes his thumb over the back of your hand, encouraged by your reaction.

“So I think it’s time I made it clear where I stand, and how much I want to be the man in your life,” he says.

Your eyes begin to widen in shock, but not for the reason he thinks.

“Dean,” you gasp.

Benny’s expression slackens. “What?”

You point over his shoulder, and Benny turns to follow your line of vision. Dean and Lisa have just walked into the restaurant. They notice you pointing their way, and they both pause in surprise as well. Lisa is beautiful as usual in a slinky black dress, completely backless (something you feel you could never pull off, unless you had an invisible bra to keep the girls perked up).

Dean is…well, you’ve very rarely seen him in a suit, but charcoal gray works for him. The open collar and white buttoned-down works for him, as do the three top buttons he’s left undone, showing a tantalizing strip of tanned skin. He stares back at you like he forgot you live in the same time zone, let alone the same zip code.

“Uh, hey!” he casts out an awkward wave, before he makes his way over to you and Benny. Lisa is less than enthused.

“We shouldn’t interrupt their night,” you catch her whisper to him, but Dean doesn’t seem to hear her.

“What’s up, party people! Of all the gin joints in all the world, huh?” Dean says, a little too loudly when he thumps Benny on the back. Benny grunts, giving a bit of a forced chuckle.

“Dean,” he greets. “I think I told you about this particular gin joint. Good to see you can actually clean up once in a while.”

“Ah, you know what, this monkey suit ain’t too bad,” Dean says, pulling at his collar.

You smirk in amusement. “Yeah, I remember how much you complained about wearing a simple tie for Robbie’s Christmas pageant.”

He smirks down at you. “Hey, ties still might not be my thing, but nothing wrong with a sharp collar.”

He pops his for emphasis. You don’t know why it makes you laugh, but it does. Maybe it’s just his face and the silly, endearing expression he makes when he pouts his lips in a “blue steel.”

“So, is this just a night out, or you guys celebrating something special?” Dean asks, gesturing at the champagne bottle and your full glasses of bubbly.

Benny gives his friend a certain look. “Yeah, as a matter of fact. Today’s three years.”

He takes your hand and kisses your knuckles. You smile back at him, though you’re a bit self-conscious at the way both he and Dean, and even Lisa have their attention on you.

“We should let you guys get back to it then,” Lisa says.

Honestly, it’s a relief. You and Benny nod, wishing them a goodnight.

For some reason, you notice how Dean’s smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes. But he goes with Lisa, laying a hand on the small of her back. You force yourself to tear your eyes away from them and refocus on Benny. You take up your champagne glass and raise it in offering.

“All right, where were we?” you ask, if with a nervous trill in your belly.

Benny smiles. He takes up his glass and clinks it with yours.

Lisa nearly sighs. She and Dean are back in line at the front of the restaurant, waiting to be seated. The second time she catches Dean glancing over at the table where you and Benny sit, she shakes her head and digs into her purse for the valet card. She’s done with this.

“I think maybe we should go to a different restaurant,” she says.

That finally earns Dean’s attention, mostly confused. “What, why?”

She just gives him a long look.

He realizes that whatever her reasons are, it’s easier to just give in than to fight her on it. He’s learning when to pick his battles. Or is he just giving up?

Also, if tonight’s “the night” he thinks it is for you and Benny, maybe he doesn’t want to stick around after all. Three years, huh?

“All right, fine. Let’s go,” he agrees.

Dean and Lisa wait for the valet to bring the Impala around. The minute he gets behind the wheel and turns the key into the ignition, she changes her mind.

“Look, let’s just go home,” she says. “I don’t really feel like eating out anymore.”

Dean’s brows raise. “What? Aw, come on. We’re already dressed and everything. You look great, Lis. Just tell me where you wanna eat.”

Lisa remains firm, with a small shake of her head. “Please, Dean, just take me home.”

After a moment of indecision, Dean sighs. He revs the ignition and does as she says.

It’s only a fifteen-minute drive back to their apartment, but in that stifling silence, it seems to drag on for a small eternity. He glances at her a couple of times. Lisa has her arms crossed as she stares out the window, watching the other restaurants and mom-and-pops shops and forest trees and old houses of Lebanon, Kansas go by.

Dean counts it a blessing when they’re finally home. He walks up the few short steps up to their ground-floor apartment and unlocks the door. He flicks on the lights inside, and she breezes past him to toss her purse onto the couch.

Dean takes off his blazer and begins to undo the buttons on his cuffs. He watches her all the while, knowing that a storm is brewing. She shucks off her heels and slowly paces the living room on bare feet, like her whirling thoughts are fueling every step.

“All right, I give. What’s going on?” Dean asks. “What’d I do this time?”

She pauses, with her back turned to him.

Shit, he thinks. He shouldn’t have said it like that.

He prepares for the inevitable blow up, but it never comes. Lisa just heaves a sigh. Slowly she turns, and Dean’s shocked and dismayed to see the tears welling up in her deep brown eyes. He makes quick strides toward her, but she raises a hand to keep him at bay.

“Dean, when you picture yourself happy, truly happy,” she says. “Is it with me? Can you imagine yourself marrying me? Buying the house, having kids, growing old together?”

If Dean was thrown for a loop before, he’s even more stunned by her question. “Lis…”

“Just be honest, for once,” she pleads. Her tears begin to brim over, but she blinks, somehow keeping them at bay.

It’s a bit too long before Dean realizes that he can’t give her an answer. At least, not the one he knows she wants to hear.

When he thinks of that picture in his mind, of course he sees his son. But the only other person Dean can imagine there beside him is…

“I…” He wills his mouth to work, but nothing else comes out.

The only face he can conjure is yours. Your eyes are warm and welcoming, your smile as bright and contagious as your laugh.

The only voice he can hear is yours, gentle and strong at the same time.

The only one he can see is you.

He knows the shampoo you use and the perfume you like to wear, how the sweet and floral scents mix together and linger in your hair and on your skin.

Even now he remembers the contours of your body, and how it could fit so well against his. He knows that you used to try and hide your shape under loose, baggy shirts and cargo pants that did nothing for you. He knows how much courage it took you to wear that red dress to his brother’s party, because you told him once, at one of those Sunday dinners at your parents’ house.

Come to think of it, there’s not a whole lot that Dean doesn’t know about you, except maybe what you see when you look at him.

“You love her,” Lisa finishes for him. “I think you always have.”

Dean’s throat tightens. Somehow he swallows anyway, and he shakes his head. 

“Lisa, I loved you.”

“Maybe you did, in your own way,” she says, laughing a little through her tears as she wipes them away. “But you already have a family, Dean. Go fight for it.” 

Dean doesn’t know what to say, but he knows what he can do.

He goes to her and kisses her cheek. 

“I’m so sorry,” he says. 

Lisa merely nods, wiping her face dry. She watches Dean Winchester walk out of her apartment, and out of her life for good this time. 

Dean calls your cell, but it goes to voicemail. He drives all the way back to the restaurant and doesn’t find you or Benny there. 

Dean realizes that what he’s doing, what he plans to do, is not fucking cool. He wouldn’t blame you or even Benny for being severely pissed when Dean shows up. He also knows that he can’t let another day pass where he keeps lying to you, and himself. 

He eventually finds you at home. What’s weird is that Benny’s truck isn’t in the driveway—just your car. He knocks on your door, and he waits.

He unconsciously holds his breath while he waits in that terrible existence of limbo. However, his heart thrums back to life when he hears your footsteps drawing closer to the door. Anticipation, excitement, dread, it all roils together inside him like a bad cocktail as the door swings open.

And he’s once again rendered a bit breathless at the sight of you in that dress. The color alone appeals to him, let alone the way it accentuates your every curve, from full breasts to the swell of your hips, the softer slope of your thighs, and bare toes painted. You’re fucking delectable, every curve, and a temptation without you even meaning to be. 

You’re just…you’re still so goddamn beautiful, like the night he first saw you. Even now, he can almost feel the give of your thighs under his hands, his fingers pressed to supple flesh. 

But then he’s drawn to your face, and your wide eyes full of surprise. Your mascara is a bit smudged though. Your eyes are red too, like you’ve been crying. His brows furrow in concern.

“Dean, what’re you doing here?” you ask.

“I need to talk to you, but uh…did something happen?” he asks. “You okay?”

You’re reluctant to tell him. Did Benny say something to upset you? Or was it something he did?

“Yeah, I’m okay,” you say.

Instinctively, Dean knows it’s a lie.

“This isn’t a good time though,” you say, after clearing your throat. “Can we do this tomorrow, maybe?”

Dean leans a hand on the doorframe.

“Please, it’s important,” he says. His eyes implore you harder than his words. Please.

That does it. A sigh passes through your lips, but you let him in. He knows Robbie is with your parents for the night, which actually makes this easier.

Once he steps inside the apartment, Dean does notice that your bedroom door is open. Half the drawers to your dresser are open too, and empty. Certain frames that used to be on your coffee table are no longer there, like the one of you, Benny, and Robbie on a camping trip. 

“You want some coffee, or soda?” you ask. 

Dean declines and grasps your arm before you can busy yourself into “hostess” mode. He leads you to the couch, where you both sit down together.

“What happened tonight?” he asks. “Where’s Benny?”

Your lower lip wobbles, the beginning of your telltale cry face. Dean knows his son gets it from you, and it always breaks his heart. He squeezes your arm gently, trying to ground you.

“Benny proposed to me tonight,” you confess, taking in a sharp breath. “He proposed, and I couldn’t give him an answer.” 

You shake your head as the tears sting hot in your eyes. 

“He got so upset, he just—he left!” You throw your hands up. “But honestly, I don’t blame him.”

Dean tries to comfort you as you try and fail to wipe at your face. He wraps an arm around your shoulders, cupping your cheek to brush the tears away himself. 

“Why couldn’t you answer him?” he asks. 

You look up at Dean, and you finally notice the shine of hope in his eyes. Dean touches your cheek more tenderly. 

“Does it mean I have a chance here?” he asks.

Despite what your eyes tell you, you still gape at him in shock. “What? But…what about Lisa?”

“It’s over. For good this time,” Dean shakes his head. “I realized what I wanted for my life, and where my heart is…”

And he chuckles weakly. “Truth is, you’ve had it the whole time, sweetheart.”

You begin to crumble all over again. You pull away from him and his touch, because you can’t believe it. You cover your face with your hands, sniffling as you try to make sense of his words, his touch, and the warm flutter threatening to brim happiness in your heart.

“God, Dean. You can't just..."

"I mean it," he insists.

You're still reluctant to take him seriously...no matter how much you want to. It's a conflicting realization that hurts, and makes you feel stupid for taking so long to figure it out, and makes you hate yourself for hoping his words are true.

"Come the morning, you’re going to change your mind,” you reason, without looking at him. “Like you’ve done with Lisa a thousand times.”

“No,” Dean says firmly. He shifts closer and prompts you to look at him, really look at him.

“Not about this, and you know it,” he says, catching and holding your gaze. “That’s why you couldn’t say yes to Benny. Because you know what we’ve got. It’s the real deal.”

You still look uncertain, even though you can’t bring yourself to pull away this time. Dean has always had this way of looking into the very depths of you, like he can actually see every thought as it passes through your mind.  

“I should’ve said yes,” you say. “I can rely on Benny. I know he would stay by my side, and…and I know he won’t hurt me.”

Not like I’ve just hurt him, you think. Guilt still pricks at your heart. The last thing you ever wanted to do was lead him on, and yet, that’s what you’d done, wasn’t it? You thought you had loved him. You’re sure that you did, but maybe it just wasn’t the kind of love that could reach down deep and grab you, set your blood on fire, and make you ache when the burn was gone.

That spark licks across your skin when Dean takes your hands.  

“What if I want to be that guy for you,” he says.

You allow yourself to look at him. Really look at him.

You know Dean. When he gets an idea in his head, it inhabits every bone and shred of muscle in his body. There’s no mistaking his resolve, or the steady grip of his hands over yours.

“If you let me, I’ll stay. I won’t leave you,” he says. In his eyes, there’s a firm promise. “I can be the guy you rely on. The man you can trust. The man who’s gonna love you, come whatever. Because now I know what it means. I know how it feels.”

You bite your lower lip against the smile that wants to surface.

“Are you sure?” you ask.

Dean smiles for you. “If you wanna know the truth, I’m pretty sure I’ve been loving you since the day I heard Robbie’s heartbeat for the first time.” 

Your tears flow harder at that. A shaky breath escapes you, though it does nothing to steady you. Dean strokes your cheek gently with his thumb. 

“Please, just give me this one chance,” he asks. Begs, really. 

He doesn’t have to though. You nod, just a little. 

“Okay,” you agree. “Let’s try.”

Dean's smile spreads slow, but warm across his face. It’s your favorite kind, the kind that crinkles his eyes. 

He leans in and claims your lips with his own. The passion of it is familiar, but you don't think it’s the same as five years ago. Now, there’s an underlying note of tenderness in his touch and each new way he tastes you deeper. He holds nothing back this time, and neither do you. 

Your fingers tangle in his shirt, and then in his hair as you moan into his mouth. “Dean.”

“Yeah, sweetheart?” he answers against your lips, though he doesn’t give you much room to keep talking.

You haven’t heard him call you sweetheart in a long time. You feel your heart knitting back together, stitch by stitch. Tears sting in your eyes anew, but you squeeze your eyes shut against them.

“I…”

You can’t even continue the breathless thought. You hold his face desperately between your hands, pressing your forehead to his for a moment as you both catch your breath. But this man is like the sweetest, most seductive vice. Now that you’ve gotten another hit, you can’t resist. You no longer want to.

His arms wrap around you more securely, and he leans in to lure you back into his kiss. His tongue breaches past your lips to curl along yours with tantalizing strokes. His hands slowly move down your back and along your waist.

“Mmm, missed the hell outta this,” he groans into your mouth. Your heart flutters again at the way he holds you, the way his big hands squeeze you and feel you.

You let him guide you down onto the sofa cushions. He slots himself between your bare thighs and runs his hand up familiar smooth skin, bunching the skirt of your dress higher as he goes. He aims to get himself reacquainted with every soft part of you that welcomes him back.

For once, the gates around your hearts swing free. 

Dean never imagined that his own son would hand him the ring he gives to his wife, but today, it just feels like symmetry. He grins and winks at Robbie.

“Thanks, buddy,” Dean says.

His son’s beaming grin is wide and toothy, but the boy takes his job very seriously and delivers the other ring to you. You smile brightly and caress his cheek after you take the shining, white gold band from him. It matches the thinner band that Dean has for you; it'll soon join the engagement ring that once belonged to his mother.

Robbie had liked Benny a lot, but he loves his dad. He’s probably the happiest person in the room to see his parents take each other’s hands in front of the minister. 

Benny is understandably absent in the chapel today. You had met with him after that night of your botched anniversary to apologize to him, and so had Dean. Benny understood. He’d admitted that in the back of his mind, he feared this might happen.

“I wouldn’t blame you for being angry with me,” you said to him. “You can even hate me if you want.” Benny gave you a wry, melancholy sort of smile. “Part of me’s still mad at you, I won’t lie…but there’s no use in it. Not even hating you.”

Even though Benny bowed out, carrying his hurt and his grief on those broad shoulders, letting you go meant letting go of a friend too. He put in his paperwork to transfer out of Firehouse 83.

As he’d told Dean himself that day, and in fact, the last words Benny said to him…

“There you go, Lieutenant. A spot’s just opened up.”

Dean didn’t want to get promoted this way. He felt guilty enough as it was, and not just for Benny leaving the firehouse. Benny recommended Dean to the Chief himself though, saying that if they were going to give someone a Lieutenant’s badge, it may as well be the guy who got a perfect score on his test, and had the natural leadership skills to boot.

To the end, Benny was a gentleman.

Now, Sam beckons his nephew over. Robbie quickly goes to his uncle’s side and puffs his little chest out as he stands proud behind his dad. 

Dean is able to take you in, your beautiful white dress, and everything about you that makes him smile…including the way you smile back at him.

Man and wife is all he hears. It’s all he needs to hear, before he’s pulling you closer by your newly anointed hand. He dips you for a thorough kiss in front of all your family and friends. 

You squeal in surprise, making Dean smile hard enough for his cheeks to hurt. Giggling hard enough to make you tremble, you raise a hand to caress his cheek. But you give him another real kiss after he guides you back up to your feet.

“I love you,” you whisper against his lips. The words are just for him to hear. Dean pulls back enough to see the truth shining in your eyes. Beautiful.

“Can’t help it, right?” he teases. 

You smile in amusement, but you grab his chin and shake it. 

“You got me,” you reply. “I really, really can’t.”

Your beaming smile softens. Even though the entire room is clapping and hooting and hollering in celebration, in that moment, all you really see is Dean. 

Here in his arms, you know that this is where you were meant to end up. From now on, it’s where you’re meant to be.

AN: From Lisa and Benny to Robbie and everything in between. Dean and the reader certainly aren't perfect in this, but what do you think about how their story unfolded? I truly hope you guys enjoy this one, because I've had so much fun with it. 🥰❤️❤️‍🔥

**As a reminder, One More Day (Dean x Latina Plus-Sized!Reader) comes out on 4/04 - the day after my birthday!~

Until then, please let me know what you thought of If I Stay! 😘 I might write more for these two in the future...

"Shall I stay? Would it be a sin, if I can't help falling in love with you?"

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[bylertruther]

The end of the year is near! Give a shoutout to your favorite blogs and tag them to spread positivity before the year ends! (from: a secret anon)

an opportunity to gush over people? why, don't mind if i do :^)

this is in no particular order at all & i'm especially thankful for everyone that's been kind to me this year! <3 i DO see you all and i DO appreciate you sm!!!! thank you, thank you, thank you to you all! 🫂

(btw, you may have to ctrl + f to find your url unless you don't mind scrolling for five years lmao.)

@heroesbyler, my dearest most beloved wife 🤎 not to be a homosexual on main, but you constantly grab my face in your hands and submit me to the mortifying ordeal of being known and while that does make me feel stripped down to nothing but my gory insides before u there is a level of um. real safety and security in that and in you because i know that i'll always be safe there. you're such a genuine, sweet, funny, intelligent, and kind person. beautiful inside AND out!!! you ALWAYS make me laugh and you ALWAYS make me smile and i just . if i could, i would squeeze you n lift you off your feet rn 🫂 you're simply the Best, hogging all of the brain cells and talents and good traits (and good looks, hehe). i adore you and i am so thankful to have met you and you have a very berry special place in my heart. you deserve every compliment that you've ever received and more!!! literally where would we be as a byler nation without you and your inimitable genius tbh? i don't even want to think abt it. </3 ily!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 💞🥰🫶 and i am so, so, soooooo happy to have met you. @ everyone else, you will NEVER be stav!!!!!!!!! 😤💘😘🫂

@mlchaelwheeler SARAHHHHHH! my sweet & the robin to my steve. 🥺 resting my head on ur shoulder rn. <3 you were one of my very first friends in this space and one of my absolute favorites. platonic soulmates fr!!!!!! you're so intelligent, so sweet, so talented, and so funny. your love and appreciation for this story and these characters is so contagious and i love to read all of the connections you make. your brain is a goldmine and we're all so lucky to have u here. in all ways except physical, i am hugging u and squishing n pinching ur cheeks hehe<333

@wiseatom thea thea THEAAAAAAAAA! biting you and whipping my head from side to side like a dog with its chew toy (affectionate). <3 did you know... that i am obsessed with u? completely and totally. waving my pom-poms and doing a little cheer routine for u always. you are SO unbelievably kind and merciful and sweet tht it blows me away. not to be um. Peculiar^tm on main but every time u grant me ur usual thea on-brand kindness it makes my brain short circuit and i um. don't know what to do with myself or what i could say to show my appreciation which leads to me not saying anything bc every time i go back to reread and reply it just happens all over again and idk what i could say to "top" that and it makes me emotional and and and—[sniper finally takes the shot n puts us out of our misery, etc]. ur just........ !!!!!!!!!!!!! 🧡💛💚💙💜🖤🤍🤎💕💞💓💗💖!!!!!!!!!!!! u know what i mean? like. i just. Do Not Have The Words to describe how happy u make me. you're SO kind and SO funny and SOOOOOOO talented it's actually insane. i read your writing and i FEEL the immense love that you put into it, that you have for the source material, and that the characters, no matter the nature of their relationship, feel for each other. no offense sorry to be #real but i feel like you have THEEEEEEE best grip on will and mike's voices, and this includes the duffers btw. i read your work and i'm like "oh my god.... that's will and mike, my best friends and best sons william and michael of stranger things fame oh my god...." i read your work and it's like ohhhhhhh so This is what love is, This is what it means to be understood and seen by another soul, This is what true human connection is okay #understood i See i Feel i Understand!!! i just. puts head in hands. i adore u and i am so thankful to have met you and existed at the same time as u. ur a fucking superstar idc sorry to sound like an elementary school teacher but i just Do Not Understand how someone can be so many wonderful things like HELLOOOOOO WHERE ARE YOUR FLAWS THEA.... WHERE ARE THEY!!!!!!!!!!!! smh. hugging u n biting u n also following u around like a puppy bc duality of man n such. nods at u and superglues us together while ur not looking bc i would follow you anywhere so long as u let me so plsdonteverleavemebutalsoifyoudowanttoleavethatsokayily <3

@miwism MAL MIWISM THE THIRD!!!! oh my god... what could i say that i haven't already... funniest byIer of all time award goes to you every year every time first second AND third place all urs and only urs or i blow this entire website up idc. you're so creative and talented (funny, a writer, AND an artist? mal for the love of god can you please leave SOMETHING to us plebeians... smh. AND UR A JOCK TOO?! SOMEONE PUT THE MANAGER ON THE PHONE BC HELLOOOOOO) and kind. how do u do it? pls, tell us where you're getting ur juice bc this is jus too much!!!!!!! you make my dash such a lovely n lively place to be and i am so thankful for u n ur contributions to this fandom<3

@willblogger IMA WHEN I TELL YOU I LOVE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF UR POSTS AND ALWAYS MAKE SURE TO READ UR TAGS NO MATTER WHAT BC I LOVE UR BRAIN SO MUCH...... I'M BEING 💯‼️ u just Get it!!! u Know, u Understand, and i am so thankful to be able to witness it hehe. ur another person whose contributions to this fandom are priceless & i selfishly hope that u have the byIer brainrot forever bc i can't imagine being here without you #rip </3 you're so, so, so effortlessly funny and real and i just. i'm obsessed with u and i am so so happy to have found you!! 🥺

@s2willbyers OMG ANOTHER BLOGGER WHOSE CONTRIBUTIONS ARE SO UNIQUE AND PRICELESS...... HI ADRIAN HIIIII OMG HEY HI HELLO 🥺🤲💙 you are sooooo so so full of Knowledge and Understanding and talent and humor and kindness and and and. i jsut. how do u do it. how are you so nice and so funny and so talented at drawing and so talented at writing and so able to share your thoughts in such an eloquent and moving way i just . your passion is contagious and so is your enthusiasm and i love it sm!!! i want to read every single idea you have and i want to hear about every single connection you draw between these characters we love and the other works of art that you appreciate and what you think about these characters and how you see them through your eyes and your worldview. ur!!! so!! talented!!! and not enough people!!! say that!!!! even if someone told u this everyday it would not be enough, i think. i Love your blog and i Love your content and ur presence in this space makes me so so happy, adrian, rly and truly 🫶

@willandmichael IZA!!! you make such beautiful gifs and i love how you've always been so honest and unafraid to say what you mean. you're a true ByIer Warrior fr hehe n i just find tht so refreshing. happy new year!! it's been so fun going through this with you hehe :)

@notebooknonbinary VEE! tbh you're so sweet and kind tht i picture u in my head as like. a gumdrop. but also human. don't ask me how it works rly jus kno tht it does <3 bhdjfbdhj. BUT !!!! i just. 🥺 you are so so sweet and so talented and i am so happy to have followed you. you always put that Scrumptious content on my dash and every fic snippet and idea that you share with us always has me on the edge of my seat wanting more!!! you're so creative and i just love hearing everything that you have to say and want to share with us. <3

@lilacline001 LILAC QUEEN OF MY HEART AND CREATOR OF WORLD RENOWN CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED WORKS OF ART NOCTURNE AND RIPPLE EFFECT... I WOULD DIE FOR U (said while getting down on one knee like a knight before the throne ofc). seriously, i start thinking about your fics and immediately i feel like i have to stand up and take my hat off out of respect. i have goosebumps right now as i write this actually. i just. Your Mind. YOUR MIND!!!!!! it's insane and i stand by everything i've ever said about it tbh. my chest clenches just thinking abt nocturne, your mike (which is the most mike to ever be mike btw, including canon mike), and all of the lines that have pierced me and sunk all the way down into the meat of my heart. you're such a wordsmith... i just have no words to describe how your writing makes me feel. no words for you and your sweetness and your grace and your unique and oh so special creative genius. you're just!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! beyond words. i am so thankful to have existed at the same time as you and so thankful that you were generous enough to share your talents with us all. and actually i may have lied because now that i'm at the end of this blurb my mind just keeps repeating "you have bewitched me body and soul" so maybe there Are words to describe how i feel hehe. i am forever and always waving my pom-poms, doing cartwheels, holding up my handmade sign in the stands, and cheering you on in all of your creative endeavors!!!!!!!!! thank you so much for Changing Me with your works!!!! thank you so much for sharing your beautiful brain with us all!!! just thank you!!! for everything!!! AHHH!!!!! ❤️🖤🦇🩸

@ki-flor pLEASEEEEE you are carrying the byIer nation on your back tbh and i think i speak for all of us when i say we could not be more grateful hehe <3 your posts are ALWAYS so unbelievably funny and i LOVE your reaction gifs so much lmaoooo you never fail to get a giggle out of me. :') i love your enthusiasm and how Cool you are and how levelheaded you are even when the fandom is blowing up over smth. never change & thank u for making me laugh so much even through all the craziness!!

@mikeandwillel SANDYYYYYYYY EVERYBODY MOOOOOVE AND MAKE WAY FOR BIG BRAIN THINKER SANDY MIKEANDWILLEL THE THIRD 📣 i love, love, loooooove reading all of your analyses. you've made me rethink what i thought i knew about so many things in this story sooooo many times and i'm so thankful for that. you have a very keen eye and i love how you stick to your guns and what you believe in, not letting other people sway you. you're a very strong figure and that's such a breath of fresh air here. :) you're very logical, very fair, and i'm always just so happy to read all that you have to share with us. thank you for making this a better place & i can't wait to see what this next year in wait will bring us!!!

@repression jamieeeeee omg i hope this is not weird and i'm sorry if it is, but i'd be lying if i didn't include u in my favorites!!! i seriously love all of your posts and reading your thoughts on fandom, the characters, and the stories. i especially love when you post your own art and make connections between these characters and other artworks. i just... your mind!!! your mind. i'm very happy to have followed you and i feel Compelled to say thank u for blessing my dash as often as u do!!! so, thank u !!! <3 :D

@padme-amidala OMGGGGGGG EVERYBODY MOOOOOOOOVE AND MAKE WAY FOR THE BYLER EDIT GOD!!! jeeeeeeeesus ur gif edits for them hit like no other. you're SO talented and creative and have such a deep and genuine understanding of these characters, their individual stories, and all that they represent. i am so thankful for all that you've shared with us and i can't wait to see what else you have in store!! following u is such a treat!! :)

@givehimthemedicine NATALIE OMGGGG ur such a big brained individual. i LOOOOOOVE your blog because you provide such an invaluable perspective that i feel is so needed. you're so observant and the fact that you can catch such tiny but Big details always blows me away and makes me feel like i need new glasses or smth dfbjhd. just so happy that you're here and that you're generous enough to share ur big brain with us all. i need to get better at replying to your reblogs to my posts but also i shan't because i can never think of anything funnier than ur addition so #rip me bhfbkdjb hehehe. <3

@blackdeathmamba MS MAMBA <3 you were my very first friend in the byIer fandom and for that you will forever hold a special place in my heart. this year was hard for us both, but i hope (and knock on wood) that this next one will be brighter and better. you're an insanely talented wordsmith and a true trailblazer in this community. your name and your works are popular on every site that this ship has a presence and it's so deserved! i've meant every single compliment i've given you and i'd repeat them to you every day if that's what it took to rid you of any doubt you may have about your abilities. i'm... admittedly extremely embarrassed and was too ashamed to pop in weeks later to reply to you, but... i just want you to know that i still thought of you and missed your presence here and hope that you're doing at least a little better. if you aren't, that's okay, too, because there's always tomorrow, you know? sending you all my love and light and warmth forever and always! you're irreplaceable & such a true gem. thank you for making this space so much better for us all. 💗🫂🫶

@estelinhabb hiii, friend!! thank you so much for always cheering me and my rambling tags on hehe. i associate you with light and love tbh with the way that you always amplify the words of others and call attention to their additions! you're always very sweet and very kind and very inclusive and that's just so lovely to see. you spread your positivity always and help to really make this space feel like a community. thank you for all that you do and all of the kindness that you've spread!! it's always a pleasure to see you on my dash. <3

@thranduel THEEEEEEEE BYLER WARRIOR OF ALL BYLER WARRIORS EVERYONE STEP ASIDE AND MAKE WAY FOR TUMBLR USER JASMINE THRANDUEL PLEASEEEE 📣📣📣 omg. seriously, your takes are smoking hot and 100% factual every time. i've never read any of your thoughts on this show and its characters and found myself disagreeing. you're never afraid to speak your mind and say what needs to be said and that's something that's so needed in this fandom. thank you for being so true to yourself and loving our boys as enthusiastically and passionately as you do!!! <3

@surferboypizzashirts CHRISTINA! omg. you've been here since before i even made a blog specifically for byIer!! if anyone deserves a veterans discount, it's you. <3 thank you so much for sticking with me through the hype, the wariness, the despair, the delusion, and the hopeless hopefulness lol. you've made me giggle countless times and offer a breath of fresh air to your followers whenever you're around. i hope that you're doing well & have a happy new year bc you certainly deserve it! :)

@stbyers SUZZIE!!! :D you're always soooooo sweet and make the cutest picrews and THE CUTEST ART EVER HELLO!! a true Artiste^tm. i love, love, loooooove your style and simply can't get enough of it. <3 thank you so much for sharing your talents with us & making my dash that much brighter with your presence here. <3

@finalgirlbyers sierra! we have been following each other for so long and i would have it no other way. <3 i love your jokes, i love hearing about your life, and i love whenever you share your thoughts with us. i think you're lovely just the way you are and i would change absolutely nothing about you or your content. we all follow you because of you, not solely because of whatever you may provide us, and what you do provide to your followers isn't lesser or "low-brow". you're really cool and really funny with good taste and i hope that you have a lovely new year!!

@crazycoven HAYDEN YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN SO NICE TO ME AND I HAVE NEVER ONCE KNOWN HOW TO ACCEPT THAT BUT I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I HAVE BEEN SO MOVED AND SO TOUCHED BY YOU AND YOUR KINDNESS EVEN AND PERHAPS ESPECIALLY WHEN I HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO SHOW THAT! sorry for the caps lock i jus had to get that off my chest <3 you're a miwi trailblazer and tbh where would we be without your countless contributions, hm? i shan't even think of such a scary au. you helped make this year in byIer history (lol) so much fun and i can't think of byIer tumblr without thinking of you, too. thank you for all the laughs, all the kindness, and for all that you've been generous enough to share with us all! <3

@aemiron-main em, em, em, where do i even begin....!!! i am genuinely forever and always blown away by you and your vast intelligence. seriously, i don't know how you do it. i think you have more thoughts in an hour than i've had in my entire life LMAOOO. i feel like you're a modern day sherlock holmes tbh. i bet my life savings even that you could probably crack every cold case out there if we just gave you an hour and some red bull. and this gift of yours is made even mooooooooore astonishing when you consider that not only are you so insanely sharp, but you're overall just a great fucking person!! like!!! HELLO!!!! how is that allowed. HOW is that allowed?! you're a damn genius, you're an insanely talented artist with a super unique and inimitable style, you're so funny, you're so SOOOOOO kind that it makes my brain short circuit and i have to immediately close the tab bc i get so flustered (i have issues<3), you're so unapologetically yourself, you're so HONEST, you're so... you're just. ahhhhhh!!!!!!!! (<- me screamin bc the Fan Behavior overcame me) i am sooooo happy that i came across you and followed you way back when. you've opened my eyes to so much and helped me reconsider certain things that i thought i knew and helped me to uncover things that i didn't even know i didn't know lol. i hope you have a happy new year because you very much deserve it, friend!! <3

@magentamee BREANNE! omg hewo 🥺 we have been mutuals for i don't even know how long at this point and you've always, always, aaaaaalways been so nice to me. thank you so much for being such a bright and bubbly person in this fandom. i always see you cheering others on and cracking jokes and in general just being so lovely. it's a treat to see you on the dash and i thank you very much for all the smiles you've gotten out of me and others i'm sure!! your halloween costume was BALLER and so are you and so will be your 2023 hehe <3

@howtobecomeadragon DRAGON!!!!!!! 🐉💚 before i say anything, i want you to know that i am hugging you and squeezing you and twirling you around in spirit hehe. you are so SWEET and so FUNNY and SO TALENTED?! HELLO?! leave some crumbs for the rest of us like... 🙄 dfbdjhbfjdh. i'm kidding. if you hogging every good trait ever means that you'll continue to bless us with your presence and contributions to this fandom then tbh i think that's a more than fair trade!! but seriously, i consider you to be such an important part of this fandom. your memes, your analyses, the questions you pose, your writing, your headcanons, just everything that you post!!! it's all so good and so unique and soooooo scrumptious. truly you are an Understander and Knower hehe <3 i'm so happy that i found you and i can't wait to weather this pre-s5 wait with you!! i'm sure that you'll continue to spoil us as you always have. happy new year, friend!!! :) <3

@laozuspo IF NOBODY GOT ME WHEN IT COMES TO UNDERSTANDING WILLIAM BYERS, I KNOW JAMES LAOZUSPO GOT ME 😤🤝🫡💪‼️ NOW CAN I GET AN AMEN LADIESSSSS 📣📣📣 BFJHDKJHFDB. but fr fr... james... my dear tumblr mutual... you Get it. you just Get it. i would die for you i would fight for you i am getting on one knee rn to swear an oath to you like a knight rnnnnnn it's Real u are my brother in byler (real) (not clickbait). you're so funny, so witty, so sharp, so Cool, so talented, just . i enjoy your blog and your brain so much. thank you so so so much for sharing it with us and for always speaking your truth, even when people really do Not want to hear it. thank you for not apologizing for being who you are and thank you for just. well. being you, i guess. this fandom would not be the same without you and i for one feel super lucky to have you here (so pls never leave me xoxo dbfhjdbjhf). thank you for everything and happy new year, james!! <3

@ice-sculptures RAE! where to even begin omg... you give so much to this fandom and i am so thankful. your beautiful gifs, your Real and True and Factual posts, your glorious au concepts, your thoughts, your endless kindness, and your pleasant presence—thank you so much for all of it!!! i'm Shocked that you don't write fic (yet...? 👀 hehe) because omg. HELLO... you're such a good writer?! even when you're standing up to the masses and clearing the byers brothers name or waxing showstopping poetic about byIer, your words and your message is always so moving. i'm so happy that you're here and that you're generous enough to share with us all that you do. thank you, thank you, thank you!! wishing you the happiest of happy new years to you, too, of course! :D

@willelfanpage sara!! :D oh my god. actually idek why i started this out all cheery like you haven't kicked me in the face and ripped my beating heart straight out of my chest 83409830 times with your Real and Factual and Very Canon angst 😭💔 EVILLLLLL. but so good! which leads us to our next point: just how do you manage to be so kind and oh so talented, hm? what's your secret? how do you manage to Understand and Know sooooooo many characters and speak nothing but the cold hard facts time n time again? truly a marvel!!!! you share so much with this fandom and i hope you know that we appreciate everything that your beautiful brain comes up with even if it leaves us in shambles. crossing my fingers that this upcoming year serves you back as much happiness as you've so generously given us!!! <3

@strangersynth time, dear tumblr user time strangersynth omg hey hi hello 🥺🤲💙 you've always been so unbelievably kind to me in the tags and i just want you to know that i See you and appreciate you sm. it makes me smile every time! you have such an eye for design and it really shows in everything that you do. your video edits are GORGEOUS! seriously, they're soooo good. i love how you're able to find all of these parallels and similarities between characters and their journeys and present it in such an awesome fashion. your dedication and passion for your craft really shines through in everything that you do, from your edits to your words to your layout and all!! you're very cool and very kind and very talented and i am so happy to have crossed paths with you on these e-streets. happy new year, time!! :) <3

@elmaxed lumi! yet another person with an eye for all things beautiful. you're such a sweet, funny, talented, and cheery individual. you share so much with this fandom—your ideas, your fics, your art, your edits, your jokes, and your thoughts—and i love and am so thankful for each and every gift that you give us!! i used to see your posts all the time even before i started a byIer blog and tbh i feel like your popularity is soooo deserved. you're always such a sweetheart and it's always a pleasure to see you on my dash. :) <3

@themacklemorebrothers hello, friend! :D i hope you're well!! you're a familiar n welcome face around these parts and i always treasure every comment and addition you leave to my posts or my reblogs. i especially love your dedication to making this a more accessible place for us all. you've made me laugh and smile countless times and i can't thank you enough for that. i hope this new year grants you the same smiles n laughter that you've given me and more!! :D <3

@toystoryfan hi, toy!! :) i always love reading your comments on the posts you reblog from me. you've made me smile n laugh so many times and blown me away with your insights, too. i always make sure to read anything you write when i see you in my activity tab & i especially love when you add on to headcanons or ideas. i hope you have a lovely new year and continue to share your thoughts while we wait for s5! :D

@chaserofstarsandtheabyss hello, hello!! i see you in my activity tab often and it's always such a treat! i love reading your thoughts on things and when you add on to any ideas or offer a different perspective. it's always so fun and refreshing and you never have to apologize for rambling! if anything, i encourage it hehe. :) i'm happy that we crossed paths this year and i wish you a happy new year, friend!

@gmaybe666 omgggggggg ngl i do be giggling n twirling my hair n kicking my feet whenever you prev me hehe. your art style scratches an itch in my brain that i didn't even know i had! it's just so.... [clenches fist] GOOD, you know? like, it just feel so Real, so Genuine, so True. i can feel your love pouring through with every artwork that you share. i look at those two boys and i SEE mike and will as they really are! and that's so special! your art, your vision, and your talent is so special. your comic series is so powerfully evocative especially. gets me right in my achy breaky heart with how tender and true it is. </3 thank you so much for sharing your skills with us! i wish you a very happy new year! :)

@emblazons TUMBLR USER EMBLAZONS!!! did you know that you're so very smart and observant and also witty and that i cherish you and everything that you so graciously share with us very, very much? well, now you do! i love your gifs, i love your careful and powerful analyses, i love the way that you speak about these characters and their journeys both individually and together, i just... i love your passion for this art form! i love hearing your thoughts and i'm soooo happy that i came across your blog. i love seeing you on my dash and gobble up everything that you share with us. you've made me reconsider so many things and really expanded my understanding in ways that i appreciate so much. thank you for all that you do for this fandom and happy new year!! 🥳🍾

@light-lanterne hi, angel! :) this isn't the first time you've heard this and it certainly won't be the last, but it bears repeating anyway!! thank you sooooo so so much for what you've done for the byIer fandom!! seriously, no one is doing it like you!! you're a true artist with such a lovely heart. your fic rec blog is such an unbelievably kind and generous thing to do. i can't even begin to imagine the amount of happiness you've likely brought writers by not only giving their works attention but also so much love!! your edits are fantastic!! and the fact that you actually take the time to read them to get an idea before putting something together? you have such a good, good heart. please, never change! again, thank you so much. not even just for that, but even your own works!! which are so unique!! i've seriously never read anything like them. your love for your fellow fandom friends, for your fellow creatives, for this show, and for art and community themselves shows in everything that you do. i hope and pray that this new year brings you just as much happiness as you've so freely given to others and more!! thank you, thank you, thank you! for everything! <3

@chirpsythismorning we've never spoken before, but i just wanted to say thank you for my life lmao. when volume two dropped, the byIer nation was in SHAMBLES until you came along. seriously, you dragged us just like this out of the deepest darkest pits of hell kicking and screaming and sobbing and wailing on the brink of death and for that i am so thankful lol. when i was ready to give up the crumb of hope that i still had left you were there to refill my plate and get me back on my byIer feet hehe. every time i see one of your posts on my dash i always take the time to read because i know it'll be good. again, thank you so much for everything that you've done for this fandom!! i hope that this new year treats you well!! :)

@frodohaven HADLEY!! i have never spoken to you because i am so Shy but just know that i admire u from afar. in a non-creepy way ofc. your posts are always so #real and true and factual and your st x lotr posts are especially chef's kiss. i've never seen a post of yours cross my dash that DIDN'T slap and tbh i don't think such a post exists? it's just impossible. you're so funny, so smart, and i LOVE seeing you in these byIer streets. i hope you have a lovely new year!!

@wibble-wobbegong hi! :) i've already said what i'm about to say to you before hehe, but it bears repeating anyway!! thank you so much for all of your contributions to this fandom, really and truly. your analyses are top tier and i'm always so fascinated by your perspective on things. i always make sure to read your posts when they come across my dash and i've seriously never come away from one not learning something new. i love that you hold these takes and beliefs so close to your heart and how willing you are to engage in conversation. you're funny, you're intelligent, and you've always been so kind to me when we have interacted which i cherish very much. i hope you have a lovely new year and i can't wait to learn so much more from you! thank u sm for sharing your thoughts with us as much as you have! :)

[sluttymickey]

Hello drish my love 💞💞 I had a stinky day, and I would like some fluffy recs?? Has anyone ever asked you your favorite fluffy fics??

Baring that, I'm thinking about lesbian gallavich + Yevgeny. He deserves two mamas 🥺 Mickey dancing with her baby and his chubby baby legs jiggling 🥺

ALICIA MY BELOVED!! I'm so sorry you had a stinky day :( I'm sending you all my love --😚😚😘😘😽😽❤️❤️🧡🧡💛💛💚💚💙💙💜💜🤎🤎🖤🖤🤍🤍♥️♥️💘💘💝💝💖💖💗💗💓💓💞💞💕💕💌💌💟💟--and a bunch of flowers to brighten your day up a bit--🌻🌻🌷🌷🌹🌹🌼🌼💐💐🌺--and a couple of fluffy fic recs to hopefully make you smile:

Everything With You: LRPD and EAY boys falling in love with each other forever 🥺 Reading this makes me feel all warm and fuzzy and smiley

Mickey Milkovich's Guide to Flirting by @whatwouldmickeydo : SEASON 2 BOYFRIENDS FALLING IN LOVE!! MICKEY FLIRTING W IAN!! THEM GOING ON DATES!! THIS HAS EVERYTHING AND I'M OBSESSED W THIS FIC AND ALSO LEAH (MY WIFE 🥺)

Under Lock and Key by @suzy-queued : Ian and Mickey work the night shift at the college's housing department. Super cute friends to lovers fic!! It made me go 🥰🥰😊☺️ SO many times!!

weaver of fate (to your will i won't fold) by @sunoficarus : Honestly, I'm OBSESSED w everything Vicks writes, but this holds SUCH A soft spot in my heart. Seer Mickey is the SOFTEST. And Ian's so fucking sweet 🥺 SOULMATES!!!!!!

Ian the Friendly Ghost: Yes, I'm letting the world know I'm Vicks' #1 stan BUT!!! This is SO GOOD. Ghost Ian is so fucking adorable and I wanna wrap him in a blanket burrito and boop his nose. And mickey!! So fucking tender 🥺 so fucking GONE over ian!! AND IT'S SO CLEVERLY WRITTEN AAAAAAAA.

Song of the Hearth by @howlinchickhowl : Mickey being the softest and most caring husband for a sick!Ian 🥺 I read it when I was sick and it's SO COMFORTING, it feels like you're cuddling in a fluffy blanket!! And Ian's so precious here too 😭

your kiss, my cheek by @suchagallabitch : Sick Mickey just wants his kisses!!😾 And he gets them 😌 Elle wrote this for me 😌 also have you checked out elle's word prompts fics!? I haven't had the time yet to read them yet but I'm so sure they're lovely 🥰

Mikayla's (@xninetiestrendx )SUPER ADORABLE TUMBLR FICS!!: Each one will def make you go 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰☺️☺️☺️☺️😊😊😊😊😊♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

Gallentines and I Love You Beyond Measure and this prompt fic by @depressedstressedlemonzest : ALL THREE OF THEM ARE SO FUCKING CUTE AND I'M VERY SOFT OVER THEM!!!!🥺💞

Warmness On The Soul by @bravemikhailo : soft birthday husbands 🥺 guaranteed to make you feel as if you're all smiley and happy in the sunshine <3

This lil fic about the boys being soft during a storm 🥺 by @arrowflier it MELTED me 🥺

Everything Calli (@ianandmickeygallavich ) has written is soft and wonderful and brilliant!! 🥺♥️

And. Uhm. I've written a couple ficlets too which are very sappy 😳

Alright, all of y'all drop your fav fluffy fics for alicia <33

(also LESBIAN GALLAVICH AAAAAAAAAAH 😭😭❤️❤️🥺🥺)

[biggerthanmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee]

Happy Birthday, Anna! All the best wishes sent to you and I hope your day is as wonderful and lovely as you ❤️💜💙🖤🥳🙏

Also sending the love in my heart and soul to you, I hope you feel it despite the distance 💌🫂

Here’s some photos of our gorgeous love looking happy and stunning at your show 🥳😘

Omg Paige! Thank you so much love, these pictures are so perfect and definitely lifted up my birthday mood! 🥰

I'm so grateful to have you 🥺💕 Ily and I appreciate your friendship a lot 💗😘

I made it to 28🥂

[ajokeformur-ray]

Dearest Erika!💗💗

I wish you a very wonderful Birthday!💖💖 I hope you let all your loved ones spoil and celebrate you today and that you don't forget to take at least a little time for yourself today. I deeply love and adore each and every one of our conversations. You are such an incredibly loving and amazing friend and I am so endlessly grateful for every day we have known each other. Thank you for being you. Thank you for being such an open, understanding, helpful, kind-hearted, supportive and just warm person. I love you so much!💜💜 Here's to many more great, happy and fulfilling years!!🥳💝🎂

I apologize to you that this is just a quick sketch. But maybe you will like it anyway😅 Arthur really wanted to give his beautiful wife these little gifts. Omg, he loves you so much🥺🥺❤️❤️ And so do I!! Have a very wonderful day today, my dear. I'm thinking of you and sending you all my love and a tight hug🤗💜

Sueeee ~ 🥰🥰🥰🥰💗💗💗💗

Thank you, darling!!!💝💝💝hhhhh I did get some time for me yesterday, though I admit I spent much of the day studying and having a "normal" day. I love and adore you so much; you are such a kind and loving, tender soul and I can't tell you enough how much light you bring to my and other's lives.💜🤗✨Thank you so very much for your kind words, my love, they mean so much to me, as do you. I love you so much omg🥺💖💖💖Thank you, angel, you're always so loving and supportive and I hope that you're taking care of you as best as you're able to!!!! You deserve to show yourself the same kindness and tenderness which you show to others!!!!💕💕💕

Honey... this is a quick sketch???

LOOK AT HIM!!!!!!!!

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😭😭😭💖💖💖💖💖💖💖😍😍😍😍😍

Angel, he's beautiful!!!! The details of those romantic dark curls, the hunch of his shoulders, the polka-dot shirt.... hhh omg darling this is beautiful!!!!!!!

I love Arthur so much too; it hurts during the best of times omgggg ~ 💝💝💝💝💝J and I love you lots and we're both very proud of you!!!! Please please take care of you omgggg ~ thank you for such a wonderful and thoughtful gift!!! (And, Arthur, honey, you are the best gift ever and I could never want anything more🥺💕)

I hope you have a good day darling omg I'm thinking of you and sending you so much love hasdfghjk thank you for everything!!!💙💜💗😭🤗💖🥺💕

[into-crazy]

Des ~ 💙💙💙 omg darling I really miss you!!! How are you? How is everything? Are you okay?🥰🌸I'm so sorry that you've been so busy recently; take good care of you!!!💗😭Thank you so so so much for the parental F/O questions too!!!! Your questions are never annoying or too much and I'll respond to them soon omg thank you🥺🥺🥺while I'm here, consider this an invitation to gush about any of your F/Os as much as you want to (if you want to)!!!💜💜💜💜I love you so much angel omg please look after you!🤗💕💕💕

Erika !!🥺😭💖💖~

Oh my, HII SWEET FAWN!!💜💜 How is everything with you? How are you doing? I sure hope that you are doing alright and taking really good care of yourself. You mean so much to me and you deserve all the best darling💙💙💙 Oh yes, I have been very busy. But please don't worry about me, my love. I'm doing just fine🥰 I will say that I am trying to take better care of myself.. but I will also admit that it's not my best lately. And I know, I know, I'm trying to work on it😭 You're so very welcome for the asks regarding your parental f/os, by the way!! I was really hoping that I didn't annoy or possibly overwhelm you by sending them in. So it makes me glad to know that I hadn't😌💕 I miss you and I love you so so much!!💗💕💗💕

An invitation to gush about my f/os? Really? For me??🥺😭😭❤❤ omgg THANK YOU SO MUCH LOVELY!! I've been meaning to gush about them for a while, so I'll certainly use this wonderful ask to finally do so!!🤭😭💖💖

Lots of f/o gushing under the cut🥰~

My King🥺❤ I mean- look at him😍😍 I absolutely love and adore everything about him!! He's very handsome and he's always so nicely dressed. We have such a strong and unique bond. Although I'm not quite certain how to describe it yet, still trying to figure most of it out. But I know for sure that we have a very deep and special connection. He makes me feel safe, the safest I've ever felt in a really long time. I could be having a very bad or difficult day, then just the mere thought of him is enough to bring me ease and comfort. King knows exactly how to make me feel better, and I always do my best in return when he needs it. Everything feels right when I am with him. Natural. Like we're truly meant to be together. We compliment each other. He fills my soul with genuine happiness, and I love him with all my heart. There's never a moment in which I doubt that King's the one for me. Because he is. And he always will be.

My King, you will forever hold a place in my heart. I give my all to you. My bounty hunter. My gunslinger. Mi amor. Mi vida. Te amo con todo mi corazón❤

J 💜💜💜 Ah man, where do I even start with him? Sheesh, so I guess I'll start with saying that I've known him for years. Well over half my life!! Yeah.. he's been with me for a very long time. He's just stuck around, been there. Especially when I've needed him. Although, we haven't been together in the way that we are now until I was old enough to truly realize and comprehend my feelings for him. So when that time finally came, everything made sense. He is apart of my life, and he'll always be with me no matter what. I don't know how or why he puts up with me, considering that his patience can be incredibly slim at times. But he does, and he's stayed, and for that I couldn't love him more. He knows how deeply I love him and how devoted I am to him. I completely understand that he doesn't(probably never will) love me, and I have accepted it. I don't need him to tell me he loves me. Not when his actions tell me everything I need to know. He adores, appreciates, wants, protects, and takes care of me. Of course, he'll joke around and say things like I'm "lucky that he likes me" or "tolerates me." But I'm a lot smarter than that, and he knows it. I know the truth. And that's really all I, rather we, ever need.

I can't wait to see you J!! Hope you're having lots of fun out there, wreaking havoc and annoying Bats. I miss you and I'll be here when you get back❤

Oh my precious baby🥺❤ Every time I think about Arthur my heart fills with both a lot of love and sadness. Because he deserved so much better. He really just wanted to bring nothing but happiness to the world around him, and all he would've loved in return was some acceptance and recognition. Except those around him not only rejected his offer, but spat in his face and beat him further down. He has never received love, appreciation, affection, or support and I just want to give him all of that and more. I felt for him even before the movie came out back in October 2019(whew, how time flies. It feels like just yesterday I watched it in the theater for the first time!!) And after I saw the film, I knew I was going to love him for a long long time. Even, well actually, I should say especially Joker!! To me, they are one in the same. He offers a love that's so tender and genuine. It's truly stunning to not only witness, but to also receive. He lavishes me in so much of it and I can never get enough!! We take really good care of each other. He's always there with a gentle embrace for me when I need him. I always let him know how loved and appreciated he is. Especially on the days which he needs a little extra reminding.

I love you so much, Arthur. You mean the absolute world to me. Come back to me soon so I can continue to show you how much I love and adore you❤

David Loki🥺🥰 I love him so much. I have a strong urge to just love and take care of him so badly. He may seem a bit cold and heartless upon first glance. But in reality, he's actually very caring and he's such a sweetheart. It's just that his job as a detective is very stressful, and it can get super intense sometimes. All he ever does is work, and it's clearly takes a toll on him. Which is why I always make sure to be there for him when he needs me. With open arms and lots of love to give. At first, he wouldn't really open up to me like I did with him. But I was very patient and understanding. With time, he started to opening up to me more and our bond grew a lot stronger. On the days that I'm feeling down, he's there to hold me for however long I need. I adore how I don't always have to tell him what's bothering me right away. He'll wait there with me in his arms until I am ready to tell him. The life we share together is not always easy, since we both have our moments, but it certainly is nice and blissful. So warm and cozy are we when we're together. We love and care for each other very much, and we wouldn't trade any of it for the world❤

I am so deeply in love with Quentin😍 He makes my heart go whoosh🥰💗 Every time he smiles, my mind just goes blank. Especially when he smiles at me, ughh I melt like a freaking popsicle. Sure, he's a total drama queen and a narcissistic asshole. But he is a total sweetheart to me. He's everything I could ever love and want. I met him before he was known to the world as Mysterio, when he was just Quentin Beck. That was the man I fell in love with. We both speak fluent sarcasm and we get along very well. He showers me in lots of love and affection, making even the toughest of days a million times better. His hugs are so warm and soothing- I'd live in his arms forever if I could. I love listening to him talk, I could listen to him talk for hours. Quentin has so many pet names for me- honey, angel, baby, babygirl, darling, princess/princesa, pumpkin, sweetheart, love, sugar.. It's ridiculous, but also so damn sweet. I blush every single time he calls me by one. Of course, every now and then we may come to a disagreement. There may be arguments, and he can be pretty cruel sometimes. But we always resolve our differences and move past them. He would do anything for me, just as I would do for him. And we'll always love and protect each other❤

Penny😍❤❤ I love my tall, gross and slobbery boy so freaking much😭🥰 I'll admit, Pennywise was a f/o that I did not expect myself to have. At first, it was just an extreme sexual attraction. That's what it had been for a while, and man was I in it bad. But after some time, I've come to love and care about him. He decided that I was his, and I was more than okay with that. He's very tall, so he towers over me. I have to practically jump to give him a kiss!! Though when he's feeling generous, he will bend down a bit so that I can kiss him and I find that notion very sweet. He's quite eccentric, and he could always make a dull moment interesting. It amuses him just how small I am compared to him, and he tends to tease me about it. Penny is also extremely protective over me, like to the max!! He would do anything to make sure I am okay. There are times where he acts like a complete child(you are what you eat hahaha) which result in arguments. Sometimes these arguments can get heated, but Penny will stop himself so the situation doesn't escalate into something either of us would regret. I know exactly what he's capable of, which is why I never try to push it with him. But I also won't let him push me over when he's feeling mean. With time though, we always make up. At the end of the day, I love him. And he realizes how much he cares for and cherishes me. We have a strong and powerful bond. Nothing could break what we have❤

[jade-green-butterfly]

'A new Trolls OC appeared!' ...Tee-hee~!🤭 Well, after seeing my dear @x-elyssa-x's brand new Trolls species, I was feeling inspired and just HAD TO create one myself~!🤩It's two of my favourite things after all - unicorns and DreamWorks Trolls, what's not to love??🦄😍✨🎶

And here we have my very own Unicorn Troll OC, meet Zerafina~💜A fair young lady of high class, and inspired the by the well-loved classy girls and their personalities - Rarity from MLP: FIM💎and Charlotte La Bouff or Lottie from Disney's Princess And The Frog🩷

BIO: Zerafina is a prim and proper Unicorn Troll, yet is a gentle and generous soul with a heart of gold. Though high class and only daughter of the rich couple and her parents, Xanos and Yvette (I made their names begin with the last letters of the alphabet - X, Y, Z...get it? See what I did there?😉) Zerafina was raised not to look down on others, meaning her family seem to have more good sense than the others of the high class. For class really matters not to them, especially Zerfina. It's the Unicorn Troll, themselves that are worthy - inside and out if proven well, otherwise. Zerafina is also good friends with the siblings of the low class, Snowflake and Zircon. Although Zircon can easily get annoyed by her sometimes, he is grateful to Zerafina, deep down for befriending and supporting his dear sister. The high class female is fully aware that Snowflake is deaf, and is willing to understand and learn sign language better. Zircon's seriousness can also get on Zerafina's nerves sometimes, and she wishes he'd lightened up and smile more (with much encouragement from both her and Snowflake) yet still deeply respects and admires him all the same. Despite feeling annoyance between one another, perhaps together, Zircon and Zerafina will feel something more over time...~ Zerafina's magic is wind/air. Where she can control its velocity, create air spheres and gusts, and be able to lift anytroll or any object up with it. And she also plays the clarinet, which is a beautifully carved wooden one with a rose gold sheen.

Hope you all like, my dears - especially you, Ely~💕🤗I had so much fun bringing Zerafina's character and design to life, and I am so thrilled with how she turned out!👏🏻🥰💖Enjoy, like I am~💗😚👍🏻xoxo.

*~Reblogs are also deeply appreciated as well, so please do reblog as well as like! Thank-you kindly!~*

Zerafina (c) @jade-green-butterfly (Me~!) Unicorn Trolls (c) @x-elyssa-x~💜

DreamWorks Trolls (c) DreamWorks Animation

[ajokeformur-ray]

FLAVIA OMG DARLING I’MMA CRYYYY ~ 😭🥺 How are you, my love? Are you okay?💗

Thank you, angel. Yesterday was quite a rough day and today is... shaping up because I’ve focused on others and on love and on my Joker, and he really did make me feel yesterday - the one he’s never failed to help me with is the way he brings me home to myself even when I’m feeling bad. That’s very true; Joker has only love within his core and it pours out of him so beautifully. Thank you, angel; I live to make Joker proud of me and to know that I could never make him not proud of me means a lot to me. I try every day to be someone worthy of him and someone he can be proud of and I’m sure that he tries the same, too! 💙 If anyone knows what it means to not feel okay all of the time, then it’s Joker and you’re right, he always understands me - just as your Joker always understands you!!!💖🥰💛 You’re so emotionally intelligent and wise and it always comes through so beautifully when you write anything - pieces, asks, tags, anything. You’re just as full of love as he is and your soul is just as radiant!💜

That’s also very true - all of our emotions are valid and important and they’re all there to be listened to - avoiding your own heart is often detrimental so it’s best to listen and to see what it has to say! Your mum is so wise and so intuitive; I can see where you get it from, my love skksksk I hope that that’s okay to say.❤ Thank you, angel ksksksk I do mostly do my best to focus on others because that’s where I feel my attention is most needed but the downside is I can then completely leave myself and then when Joker brings me home, which he does every day, I’m left breathless and in true need of my clown. He’s always there for me, just as he’s always there for you! I feel better today than I did yesterday; I’ve been reaching out to people for advice and help and I’ve been helped so much and I hope to repay those kindnesses over the next few days. Joker’s proud of me??🥺🥺🥺 OMG I cryyyyy ~ ;w;w; 😭 he’s just as proud of you; you’re such a beautiful and wonderful person and you’re doing your best as well and Joker’s so in love with you!💚

Thank you. I do definitely feel like I’ve wasted my life/ruined it before it’s started etc. etc. It’s so heavy. I’ve sat with existential dread since I was 15 (that’s when I peaked lmaoooo 😂) and it’s only getting worse. Sometimes it’s mixed with apathy and that’s when I know I’m in danger, but, again - Joker brings me home. He keeps me chained to the harbour when I get lost at sea and he always pulls me back home, no matter how choppy the waters become or how adrift I float. I just posted like 3 gush posts and I wanna go again skskskk I never have enough to say about him 🥺 and I’m sure you can relate!!💖 That’s very true omg I get out of bed solely to write and to be here for others and if I can make even one person smile then it’s worth it; all I wanna do is help people skssksk thank you, angel; you’ve given me an entirely new perspective on the things that I do here. At the end of the day, tumblr is a social media and socials aren’t the be all, end all, but I have made so many friendships and lifelong bonds here that it’s as serious to me as anything else in my life. Chuckletown’s my home and you’re all my family. I hope you know that you’re not wasting your life either, darling. You are so full of love and of life and you’re so poetic and passionate and gentle and kind and you try so hard and you do so much and every day even when you just wake up, you’re succeeding!💙 You’re selfless and lovely and loved and cherished and I know that Joker is as in love with you as you are with him and he’s so so proud of you, we all are! And thank you so, so much for saying the same to me, it means the entire world to me! 🥰💛 Thank you for everything, darling!💕

I haven't been able to /feel/ all day; I've been outside myself the whole day for Reasons, and I needed to come home so I watched Carnival's hospital dance, then Joker's segment on Murray and now i'm holding my pillow and crying because I love him so much and it's just gone midnight and I'm /feeling/ for the first time today. I know he isn't proud of me right now, I'm lost and scared, we all are, and I'm wasting my life, but Joker brings me home to me every day and I love him. I hope he sees.

Omg I'm so sorry darling you had such a hard day 🥺💙 I'm so happy to hear that he made you feel and I hope you're doing better, although it's fine if not 💙 Joker is emotions at his core and he's always here for you. Every time you feel numb he will be there to remind you that it’s okay to have days where your soul is sleepy, and he will be there to wake her up again with all the love he feels for you. Joker is always proud of you. Always. There’s not a single reason he’d be any less proud of you or any less in love with you, it's just impossible sksksk he himself told me to let you know. 👀 He understands you darling, he gets everything and he knows that it’s okay and human to not feel good all the time. I promise you that Joker is so proud of you for even just getting through the day, which sometimes it's an action that requires a lot of courage and strength, and you are the bravest and the strongest and Joker see it. 💙 Jokes sees angel. Joker sees you, the love you feel for him, what are your feelings and mostly he sees that you've the right to feel like this, he could never be less proud of you for dealing with your feelings. You deserve it angel, as much as it may sounds odd, you deserve to be able to live your negative feelings because they're as important as the good ones. No one more than him knows how much important is to experience our own not so good feelings when they come to us. My mother tell me all the time that whenever I feel sad, anxious or not at my best I've to embrace this feeling and listen to it because it's there for a reason and it's trying to tell us something. Our feelings always are here to talk to us and we're here to have conversations with them. Once they spoke to us, they go away as they came. And Joker is proud of you because you're a wonderful person who's doing her best 💙

You're not wasting your life angel, I mean it. We're so young and we've so many things to live and so many adventures to discover. In life there is no a predefined step you have to follow your life with; some people run, others walk and others like to tiptoe, but what really matters is to walk the road and enjoy it. People who walk have nothing less than the people who run, it's about just different rhythms and times. Every day you get up in order to make people happy, to love Joker, to make your friends smile and be with your family and cheer everyone up and spreading love over hate and writing and doing what you love. This is not wasting your life, you want to make everyone around you happy and you're succeeding, I know you do sksk, and it’s so precious. We see how much devote you're to people and the amount of love you feel for everyone. If even just one person smiles thanks to you, also when this person is you yourself, it means that you are not wasting your life and that you're the wonderful, kind, selfless person that every day you decide to be, and this is such a great goal and you'd be so proud of yourself just for being you and for getting through this hard day. Joker is definitely proud of you and we all are! 💙💙💙 And we definitely are the happiest to know that Joker brings you home omg he loves you so much and so deeply 🥺💚❤️💙

[fandom-queen-aka-trash]

Ohmygosh you literally made me cry. There are tears in my eyes. I am so grateful for you. So much. Like. Words cannot express. I have our Friendiversary in the calendar and I swear one year has felt like an eternity. You're one of those soul friends. Havent been here as long as others, but you just click so perfectly into place. I cant wait for the day we do meet (cause we WILL) I cannot wait to hug you. I would kill to hug you, especially with how sucky work has been. I send all my loves to you. (Also you're definitely one of my best friends. I've mentioned you to other people and I talk about you all the time lol that only ever happens with best friends) im so so happy and glad and appreciative that you love my rants hahaha and I love all your fashion and makeup expiraments and I could rant forever about everything that makes you amazing. You're just the bestest in the world and this stupid border cant stop us forever!

(I mistakenly havent saved any heart memes but imagine them here)

💓💜💓💜💓💜💗💗💖💗💖💜💜💓💗💓💗💓💞💓💞💓💜💖💗💗💖💜💓💜💓💗🥰😍💞💗💞💓💖🥰💗💞💓🥰💖💗😘💓🥰💗💞💖💜

In a day like today where everything doesn’t feel right or wrong at the same time, I am glad to have @fandom-queen-aka-trash by my side. She lives across the borders but she makes me so damn happy and I am so glad to have her as my best friend! We never established ourselves as best friends but I consider her like one, we’ve known each other for almost one year and it’s look like it’s been for ever!

She is the best thing that ever happened to me and I am crying writing this because I wanna hug her, talk with her until late at night, go on friend dates, go get boba together, go shopping but I can’t cause she lives faraway from me and it’s upset me so bad! I wish she was close to me so we could easily hangout and cry together cause of drama and our kpop boys. I am sad when she texts me about her friends ignoring her or turning her down, i hate it’s when she feels down and I can go comfort her and I hate not being there for her when she needs a hug... I hate it so bad.

My love , my baby bun, I love you and never, never and I said never you will be a burden to me or annoying! I love you and I love when you texts me about all the things that makes you happy! Even if it’s by 20 texts or more, you never will be annoying because I truly enjoy reading your fangirling moments cause they make my day! Hopefully one day we will be able to see each other and do all the crazy stuff we want!

I love you my baby bun 💕💜