#hes literally a walking mass murder weapon LMAO

[candyradium]

fun dnd fact: sirius, if he so desired, could kill an incredibly large amount of people just by walking through a crowd

[randomshenaniganery]

If I somehow got into Obey me! Shall We Date part 2

Me and Levi while videoing Solomon: I wanna be the very best like no one ever was, to catch them is my real test to train them is my caUSe. My whole life was meant for this gonna show the wORLLD!!

M: Horny bastard literally and figuratively

M: So like for science do you have complete control over that tail? The fandom deems this as important knowledge

M: BARBATOS PLEASE COSPLAY AS SEBASTIAN MICHAELIS-yeah I know I call you him a lot but like PLEASE

M: Kuya from Ayakashi Romance Reborn is just what happens if you smush Beel and Belphie into one person

M: Beel... Look at your wings... They’re tiny... If you can actually fly I will single handedly try to murder God.

M: I don’t understand why you’re mad with all these pregnant jokes, I MEAN YOU GUYS TOLD ME THIS INFORMATION and think that I won’t use it????

M: Heaven is pretty controversial not gonna lie

M: Luke you are a baby not just cause your smol but because you think like a baby

M: HEY remember what I said about racism? Knock it off

M: Why do you like me? Like honestly just WHy

M: LMAo who thought that leaving me alive was a good idea

M: Levi I blame you for making me say LMAo outloud I used to only say lol or IDK 

M: I do have a least favorite brother but I’m not telling who because it would cause the same problems saying who my favorite brother is 

M: YOU FAKE MOTHERFUCKERs 

M: Sometimes I think I’m more of a demon than you guys are

M: I made a meme I think I’m going to die after this but I’m going to be very proud about dying and then I’ll see you later cause bitches know I’m going to end up in hell anyway

M: Is this real life? or is this fantasy? 

Me and Levi still videoing Solomon but now we’re all dancing and singing: Gotta catch’em all-gotta catch’em ALL POKEMON 

M: Satan for confirmation are you or are you not a furry? wait no put that knife down-

M: Beel please be my model for this drawing I have thanksiloveyoubye

M: Beel is definitely in my top three faves list you just have to figure out WHERe he is in that list

M: Levi I fucking told you to stop GATEKEEPing

M: What the fuck are you listening to Lucifer

M: I legit can’t listen to 40% of the songs I have in my playlist because they mention demons and I’m too embarrassed to listen to them now

M: Levi please let me sleep in your tub it honest to God looks so comfy-stop making faces when I mention God you KNOW that I’m atheist

M: Asmo hi please do my nails idk self care who dat bitch

M: ugh I have feelings and I HATE It

M: Am I a kuudere or a tsundere? I can’t tell but if it’s the latter I’m going to commit sui-wait no I’ll still end up in hell FUCK

M: I would never kiss anyone oh you’ll pay me? YOu never said where bitch-

M: I’m not greedy I’m just broke

M: See mammon gets it

M: Levi if you pay me I will draw Henry for you

M: Oh my god I’m henry 

M: Diavolo please let me adopt the giant snake in your labyrinth

M: Solomon I’m going to carefully watch you while you cook so that I can understand on what level can you fuck up food so bad

M: OH MY GOD ITS ALIVE

M: If I ate that apple I’m going to kill my clone because there can only be one

M: I really think that I’m more demon than you guys are 

M: Mass murder isn’t wrong if it’s in the name of God says the bible-stop it Luke I’m making a joke

M: Simeon tell me on what level of friendship do I get to call Lucifer Lucy

M: Satan there is literally no way for me to give you a new nickname

M: the angrier you get the more like Lucifer you sound so-HEY DON”T FLIP THE TABLE MY ONION RINGS

M: Belphie if you want humanity to die just make them all so lazy no one will ever get up 

M: I swear to God that I will not wake up the demon king-okay fine mentioning God’s name doesn’t actually make it more sincere fucking-

M: if any of you look at my reddit history its either I die or you die

M: Bleach is a very powerful weapon

M: Who the fuck designed your demon clothes

M: God is kinky confirmed

M: I want humans to know the existance of demons but I also don’t want Diavolo to be exposed to the horny ones-no I did not mean that literally

M: I know he’s supposed to be the Prince of Hell but I can’t stop visualizing him as a cuddly large demon teddy bear

M: I’m so mad that there aren’t that many stray cats in devildom What’s the fuck point

M: Barbatos if I give you a recipe will you finally answer that question about being a sadist or a masochist? No? goddamit

M: I was going to say goddamn you but clearly he already has

M: I’m going to contact a family therapist

M: Beel please carry me I want to feel tall for once

M: My neck hurts from looking at all of you

M: Belphie move over or I will crush you that’s my sleeping spot-yeah I know that’s Beel’s lap THAT’s THE WHOLE POINT

M: I am constantly in a state of surppressed rage so how do I feel satan?

M: I can’t take you seriously your name is Satan

M: heh-no I do not look like Barbatos shut the fuck up

M: I totally did not draw Lucifer in a comprimising position and sold it online 

M: Hi mammon it’s pretty high up huh?

M: Beel I won’t tell anyone if you share that pizza with me

M: it’s not bribery if its not money-that doesn’t work? fuck

M: My type is literally anyone who isn’t human so ya know sorry solomon

M: god made demons and decided that evil was an aesthetic

M: I know I sang and Satan will tear you limb from limb but I swear I just forgot about the lyrics and not that I actually think nah no I think you’ll actually do that I’m not apologizing for shit

M: I’m so nice, I’m a family therapist for free. You motherfuckers better fucking pay me

M: technically I can call the cops any time since you did kidnap me 

M: Oh my god the dads are coming * after seeing lucifer and diavolo walk up *

M: Diavolo don’t avoid the question who. is. the. top??? 

M: Levi I know you know what Archive of our Own is don’t lie to me

M: Every time I see Cerberus I have the urge to climb the highest thing in the vacinity

M: I love Hades but saying that here would just incriminate me and I don’t want to boost Lucifer’s ego

M: Lucifer as an angel I feel like he would be even more obnoxious what? nO put that ROPE DOWN NO KINKY TODAY-

M: * first time seeing asmo* are you gay or european? 

M: My life is constantly referencing memes

M: Solomon’s theme song is pokemon we’ve already decided on that

M: CREEPER AW MAN-

M: I don’t want you guys to sing because I will physically combust 

[deathlyharlows]

TASK #6 HARLOW VALENTINE - CHARACTER ANALYSIS + TASK #4 BONDS

UPBRINGING 

One of Harlow’s main KEY MOMENTS was the moment she was “born” or as she would say “woke up” or “crawled out of Hell.” She’s not certain on what happened or who she was before that-- She also didn’t take the time to actually worry about that, and while she has some kind of lingering feeling that there was more than just the Hell she was trapped in-- She poses the question: Would it change anything? And since the answer is no... WELL. 

That’s the truth, anyway, if Harlow ever remembered her human life, it wouldn’t change a thing. The biggest reactions that would be pulled from her would be something like “good to know I’ve always been this way?” followed by a possible whiplash that comes with knowing she’s old as fuck-- then go on her merry way. 

While I don’t have a set amount of times in which she’s gotten out/escaped from Hell, or the years she actually spent outside in her “other lives”, I can say-- aside from her actual human life-- current Harlow is possibly the tamest version. 

INSTINCTS/ RIGHT vs WRONG  

It didn’t matter if she was “a clean slate,” she was still a demon-- Which if you come to think of it, are basically mass destruction weapons freshly out of Hell. And while Harlow didn’t have any lingering recollection of anything, she was “pre-set” from day 1.  Having these natural impulses of wanting to self-serve herself, to take everything and anything she wants without paying for it, of destroying and creating chaos and pain, just because she felt like doing it or because she felt it’s fun.  A PREDATOR in the whole definition of the word.   

In the end, it also wasn’t just because she was a demon. She was already part of something, a soldier ready to be thrown to war-- or in this case missions to do whatever her boss asked of her. It’s only ironic, that I feel, had she not been kept under Jack’s domain-- she probably would’ve been wilder-- past and present.  

As time passed, and Harlow actually started being more self-aware-- She could realize pretty much everything she liked to do, and everything she did was morally and legally  WRONG. But that’s when the next part came, she didn’t care enough to go against it. So she continued and continues... 

Stealing? Good to get something for free! Harming people? Fun! Torturing people? Double fun! 

MURDER

Some people relief stress by drinking, smoking, doing drugs, having sex, or involving themselves in different activities-- Either it's harmful to them, or it's healthy. Harlow’s stress relief? Is harmful to others: Murder. 

It’s come to a point where killing someone is nothing to her. There could be a bunch of reasons why she does it. Fun? She was bored? She wanted something from someone, so she took it? Revenge? The answer is almost always the same-- Murder. It probably shouldn’t be, but killing someone is one of Harlow’s knee jerk reactions or solutions for almost everything. Pretty much so, that if she hasn’t murdered (or harmed) someone that has either annoyed or pissed her off in any way-- It means something. 

It brings the question, though-- Is it Harlow, or is this normal demon behavior?

Psychologically, speaking-- Harlow could be easily lumped in with a personality disorder, more specifically: ANTISOCIAL:  a pervasive pattern of disregard for and violation of the rights of others, lack of empathy, bloated self-image, manipulative and impulsive behavior. Subtype: COVETOUS. 

Sidenote: Let’s keep in mind this is not a human character, so maybe psychology doesn’t even apply to demons asderftgyh

However, as much as she hits some (if not most) of the criteria. There is one strong characteristic that brings down the conclusion of Harlow having APD. 

EMOTIONS  

These have always been something quite difficult for Harlow to understand. She knows she has emotions and feelings, and she doesn’t exactly push them away. At times, she’s wondered if this is how it’s supposed to be. Do all demons have difficulty telling them apart? Is she even supposed to have them? Or do all of them actually have them, don’t have trouble telling them apart but they just choose to ignore them? It’s not like she can go (or trust) another demon for her to ask and have a heart to heart (ew), or for her to be “Hey, let’s compare!” so she manages as best as she can. 

There is a name for this: ALEXITHYMIA.

In her case-- Most of the times, if the emotion isn’t as “explored” she tries to make sense of it, to understand it. It’s only with time that she eases into it, and becomes familiar with it. Considering 22 years have passed since she started with this process of literally categorizing emotions, she would say she has some pretty recognized, but, boy does she have some way to go...

Recognized: Anger, amusement, happiness, annoyance, boredom, curiosity, confusion, disgust, envy, jealousy, lust, pride, guilt, regret, surprise, worry. (Mainly)  

Halfway/currently: Love, fear, anxiety. 

Unexplored: Sadness, grief, loneliness. 

This is obviously a rough list, and the ones I think are important when it comes to her character. 

The previous is only when it comes to herself. When it comes to other people and their emotions or display of these-- Is a completely different thing. 

In the first years, just like with her own emotions, it was rather hard for her to notice what other’s were feeling. An expression was just that-- An expression. It didn’t hold any true meaning, and she wasn’t able to attach it to an actual emotion. Just like with herself, with time, she started connecting expressions with emotions. 

Ironically, I think the ability to recognize them on others was easier than on herself. Surely, she learned faster with emotions she was shown more often. Fear and anger, the main ones. There are probably still a couple out there which she isn’t shown that much that probably could slip her by. 

EMPATHY

Going hand in hand with overall emotions comes empathy. Is it possible for someone who cares little for others to feel such a thing as empathy? The answer here is yes. However, most of the times is more something superficial than rooted in. Taken in from a logical perspective, instead of an emotional way. Harlow isn’t one to “walk in someone else’s shoes” but she can begin to understand where someone else is coming from, or to “read them”. Varying on the situation, of course. In the end, it’s only up to her if she wants to be sympathetic towards the person/people in question. 

For example, going back to the murder situation-- When/If someone who she’s about to murder, is crying and begging for their life, Harlow would know why, and understand it. Despite the fact, she’s never felt sadness or doesn’t have full recognition of fear when it comes to her. 

Of course, there also instances in which, even if she wanted to understand-- it’s not even possible.  A good example of this, was when Will begged her not to kill the hunters. Putting aside the fact she’s not all that fond of him, Harlow couldn’t even get why he was so against it, if he wasn’t the one killing them. If they had tortured her and would’ve possibly killed him. 

Like with everything, this empathy comes easier when is people she’s closer to. Which aren’t many because-- 

RELATIONSHIPS 

Establishing relationships with people isn’t exactly a MUST for Harlow, while she can actually make them easily with little effort, she maintains them at a certain arm length. Why? Because in the end, others are rather disposable. A “friend”? She could easily leave one behind and get another one, right? She knows that’s not right, that she’s not supposed to do that. Use people to get what she wants, or to save herself/make herself seem innocent of something she’s actually guilty of. But that’s the thing-- For Harlow, only Harlow comes first. 

JACK ALVAH: Her boss.  

Jack is another one of Harlow’s key moments. It’s funny to say, that if it hadn’t been for Jack, Harlow most likely wouldn’t have tried to be a functioning member of this society (lmao). Think of a loaded aimless gun, just shooting off everywhere and anywhere. Surely, she’s still a loaded gun-- But at least there’s some aim and/or direction.   

So how was Jack the reason, Harlow isn’t a complete savage? In the most abstract of terms-- Harlow could be considered a soldier. She follows orders, directions, instructions, so on. Those require certain discipline. It is only odd to consider that a demon as rebellious or unapologetic as her would do such a thing or follow someone else’s command. There is an explanation for that-- In some messed up way, Harlow was somewhat GRATEFUL for Jack.  What the fuck, right? But I guess when you spent fuck knows how long being tortured in Hell, and suddenly you’re not-- This was the jack(haha)pot.  

Not to mention that for the longest of time, Jack was basically all Harlow knew. Surely, there were her other “co-workers” but in a place like this, friends aren’t really a thing either. You kill or you get killed. You use or you get used. Simple math. Whoever doesn’t get that, then well, it’s their own damn fault. 

So why didn’t she try to go away? Call it convenience, rather than loyalty. The “training” and missions started, and Harlow was like “hey this isn’t bad at all” -- she was out of Hell? She got to do the things, the usual people would frown upon, without anyone in there bat a single lash? And on top of that, she could easily get things she wanted? Sign her the fuck up. Yet, Harlow knew Jack wasn’t a friend. No. He was using her-- She was nothing more but another tool. Whatever. To her, he was also a mean to her own ends. 

CLAUDIA DAVENPORT: Her everything. 

Remember when I said, “for Harlow, only Harlow comes first?” Well, hahahaha... 

Chronologically speaking, Claudia is key moment 3, 4, and possibly more, depending on what happens down the line.  Truthfully, I’d say these are the most important. 

By the time, Harlow had already been around for 17-ish years, she already had climbed up and made a name for herself among Jack’s crew. What can I say? She was good at completing her missions-- whether it was murdering someone, getting information, or pretending to be a specific type of person... 

It was odd at first to learn that her boss had a daughter (and a son)-- Him? Having children? Even Harlow knew that wasn’t something she’d hear, but hey, what did she know about family and things like those, except for what she read and watched in movies. There wasn’t much of a second thought about that, until one day, she got called over and was told to look after Claudia. That was the complete opposite of what she did. Was there an option to make someone else take on that? Maybe, maybe not. It wasn’t like Harlow complained, perhaps she was curious on what it was to be a normal person.

Technically, she hadn’t been told she had to befriend her, still, that’s what she did.  It was so easy. They joked, teased each other, talked about anything and everything, watched movies, and spent most of the day/their days together. Those apart, Harlow couldn’t only look forward to the day they did. Was this what having a real friend was like? Not looking for the knife behind her back, not expecting an eventual fall? Being around Claudia was nice. It was good. Even if they weren’t. Harlow felt this kind of happiness that simply wouldn’t come with other people, or doing the bad things she liked to do. It was different, and she definitely didn’t hate while she didn’t understand. All of this made it so easy for Harlow to also forget, this had all started out as a LIE. Harlow didn’t really see it as one, when she was being herself. She wasn’t pretending to be someone else, it was herself. So maybe if she ignored it, it wouldn’t go wrong--

HUH OH. 

Just like she didn’t understand, why she was feeling the way she was around Claudia, or what those emotions meant. She also didn’t know there was a possibility that Claudia could be feeling the same. Until she was close to her-- about to kiss her, and Harlow’s dumbass went off like ‘hey, this is not something friends do... right?’ still, I don’t think she would’ve stopped it hadn’t it been for Jack suddenly doing it himself. Saved by the bell? Not so much when he also pointed a finger in Harlow’s direction to say she worked for him. Now-- she didn’t see that one coming. So the gig was up, job over-- Now off, to more missions. Except, Harlow truly hadn’t seen Claudia as a job. She was a friend. Her first and only friend for that matter. And now... she wasn’t, because of what she did. And a couple of new feelings surged after that, like something weighing her down. They weren’t fuzzy or made her feel good-- Complete opposite. Something was missing-- Eventually, realizing she missed Claudia. But there wasn’t anything she could do about it now. 

To say Claudia has thrown her off her game in several ways is definitely an understatement. The years passed, and Harlow still missed Claudia-- not always consciously, but always there. She most likely thought, she’d never see her again, until another day came-- And she was back to being the bodyguard. Which she would go on facefirst. 

Fairly, Harlow didn’t know what to do. Things weren’t how they were (obviously) and she did what she did best-- PRETEND.  Maybe if she pretended like they were still those two teenagers, it would be the same. WELP. She also didn’t understand how or why Claudia didn’t hate her, or why she hadn’t looked to pay her back. (Because Harlow often forgets not everyone is out for revenge) Current time, I don’t think she fully grasps Claudia's reasons not to, and that's also the thing… By now, Harlow has come to terms that they wouldn't or couldn't be the same, and they will probably never be able to be friends. It’s with that, Harlow is aware of the feelings she has for Claudia, easily embracing them. Going "fuck it" and kissing her is a major step when talking about this realization. It's only funny, (and a bit frustrating) that it hasn't downed on her these feelings mean she's in love. I mean, how could she, when she's never been in love? How could she tell when there has never been anywhere to look to and say "oh, so that's love." It’s not like she’s been shown any type of love either. She's slowly but surely getting there, okay. Baby (?) steps.

I can say, though, Harlow has always been in love with Claudia, and she most likely always will. I don't think she would ever be able to love someone else the way she loves her. Here's why: It would mean, she'd have to allow herself to be friends with someone else (you know, the kind of friend where she wouldn't sell the other for a cornship) and even if she did, she would be looking for Claudia in them, consciously and unconsciously.

Claudia is special to her, and so, she would do anything and everything for her.

Let's keep in mind, Harlow is inherently greedy so, yes, she wants Claudia to feel (just feel not do, I'll get to that in a moment lmao) the same way she does for her, aka love her back. (Because, Harlow isn’t a mindreader-- she can see Claudia’s eyes light up, she can see her smile, and giggle. Yet, she doesn’t correlate that this could mean Claudia loves her too, hah) 

But even if Claudia didn't, (or if she stopped) it wouldn't change a thing for Harlow. She still would look after her and put everything aside to keep her safe. What do I mean when I say not do? Considering Harlow would literally set herself on fire if it meant Claudia remained-- she doesn't want her to do the same thing for her. "I set myself on fire, not you."

There’s this quote, I found some time ago:  “Love is madness, doesn’t everyone agree that you’d do anything, endure anything, to be with the ones you love? So either you’re willing to let them use you with any sort of cruelty, so long as they keep you—which makes you a fool—or you’re willing to commit any cruelty, so long as you get to keep them—which makes you a monster. Either way, it’s madness.”

Personally, I think Harlow is part fool, part monster-- She would do and endure anything, even if it wasn’t to be with her.  She would die for her. The part fool, right? Especially, because Harlow would think the same thing about other’s who’d do the same as her. Willing to die for others? Pft. But Claudia... She would do so, she would easily accept (to herself) that she’s a fool. On the other hand, she would also commit any kind of cruelty for the same reason-- For Claudia. Not to keep her though. Harlow might be possessive, yet she’s capable to comprehend Claudia is her own person. Being willing to commit any kind of cruelty, can become dangerous when Harlow can’t tell apart an enemy or a threat, from a possible ally or friend. (Also, see: Lizzie Saltzman) 

In a few words: Harlow would attempt to smite everything and everyone around her, for Claudia’s safety-- and if all that fails, she would die as one final try. 

To try and wrap this section (WHEW) while it might not be played out because it would mean Harlow is not generally bamboozled by her own emotions-- I think to a degree, Harlow would generally WORRY about the implications of being in love with her. Not because she thinks love is a burden, funny enough, but because she’s aware, she’s not a good person at all. (And that they aren’t surrounded by the easiest or safest of situations) She knows that even if she never intended to-- She’s hurt Claudia in the past, and she doesn’t want that to happen again. She wants nothing more than her happiness, because for her Claudia deserves to be happy-- and she would also attempt anything for that, as best as she can. 

WILLIAM FLYNN VS MAXWELL HARVEY VS LIZZIE SALTZMAN: Her dumb bitch moments.

The first of these three she knew of was Will, of course. Simply by association. She knew he was Jack’s son, and therefore Claudia’s brother. That was as much importance as Will would have to her. There are two reasons why Harlow (despite not being fond of him) hasn’t thrown Will in harm’s way. a) There is a “do I get something out of selling Will out?” Ehhhh.... but this was heavily countered by b) despite not being told by Claudia herself that she knew of her brothers-- Harlow cares and respects her so much, she won’t do that just because. Now, if Claudia went “idgaf about them” then it be “well, tough titties, willie.” It’s funny to me, how there are similarities between Will and Harlow-- they’d do anything to protect those they care about, they wouldn’t back down from a confrontation, they attack first and ask questions later, they have complexities when it comes to emotions-- yet they don’t get along at all. As a matter of fact, Harlow would say she doesn’t like Will. It sort of brings me the question if Harlow truly likes herself lmao (she does, but she’s a hypocrite sigh) Maybe in different circumstances, maybe in the future-- she will actually see eye to eye with him. Be friends? That’s it-- Only if Harlow hasn’t done more to fuck things over in the general scheme of things.  :/ 

Comes in, Maxwell Harvey-- Harlow didn’t know about this sibling, and frankly the only reason why he didn’t get served that one night at the alley, was because she looked like Will lmao Same “this is Claudia’s brother” rule followed, whether Claudia knew about this one or not. Even if at first, Harlow couldn’t see over “fucking great ANOTHER William??” it is also funny how it seems to be that she genuinely likes Max better.  Here’s why-- Taking away the fact, Harlow found amusement in his fear and toying around with that... Meeting Will, he fought back and didn’t make her night easy-- Will fights back and goes head to head with her, and generally, this would earn someone a stab from her. (Which she knows she can’t do) She thinks Max will be the same-- Color her fucking surprised when Maxwell suddenly goes “i’ll do anything for you” and throws his own fucking twin under the bus. Harlow is like “yo.... RESPECT” and actually thought he was smarter than Will, who could’ve died. (aka not smart) Now-- Had Maxwell thrown Claudia under the bus, instead of William-- He would’ve become #1 enemy in 0.1 seconds.  

Finally, her ultimate simultaneous dumb ass bitch yet actually smart if put in a certain perspective moment-- Lizzie Saltzman aka “that blonde bitch at the beach.” The only reason why Harlow could even know about her existence, was because she saw her around Claudia, and her brain cells didn’t get enough oxygen for her to stop for a second and think “hey, this could be a friend.” No, the dumb bitch goes “whothefuck?” and JUMPS. Finding her was mere accident-- And she wanted answers. Who was she.  (Not jealous at all, psth... *Michael Scott’s cringe face*) That turns into actual annoyance, when Lizzie-- like Will-- goes head to head with her. Except, this girl didn’t mean anything to Claudia, did she? (oh boy) So she could get rid of her. Lizzie fights back, and man way to poke the demon. Now, Harlow has a petty vendetta-- Only she could be the biggest blonde at the beach. Her pettiness, becomes into an actual plan, though. By this point, Harlow believes Claudia to have broken Will out from where Jack got him-- And bitch, is she fucking tearing her hair out at what could happen if Jack knows this. Her mind goes directly to-- “would he kill her? worse?” and you know.-- no-no. So she looks at Lizzie “knows William and Claudia, but would probably die before saying anything” Saltzman, and goes: PERFECT. (Nevermind the fact, Lizzie was actually involved and is Will’s girlfriend, ohp) She thinks if Jack focuses enough on Lizzie, then Claudia will be safe. And you know, her mind would’ve probably done something, had it not been because Lizzie is a friend, and i-- :))))) Just like with William, I think Harlow could get along with Lizzie just fine-- in banter level friendship. You know, once again, if by the time a future comes... Things haven’t gotten even more fucked. 

In conclusion, of all this clusterfuck that is Harlow: 

[sleepymarmot]

MEA liveblog #7

Spoilers!

Multiplayer

This interface is a mess. I move my mouse onto "exit lobby" and it turns into "kick player". Buttons just jump around and transform all the time.

And the APEX mission shit needs to be fixed. When you select a mission to play, don't direct me to lobbies who play the same enemy/map/difficulty but not as the mission! Join lobby, see "custom", exit lobby, select "custom game", re-select mission, join, end up in the same lobby, rinse, repeat...

At least I can end up second when I join on wave 5 as a human vanguard lol

F Human Vanguard card!

Tempest

Non-custom weapons of different rank shouldn't exist as separate items in the inventory! Unlocking a higher rank should upgrade the old item like in ME3! This stupid inventory system exists solely because of crafting! If you need inventory limits so much, let them apply only to the crafted items! I've already complained about rewards being lost with no warning if the inventory is full and it's still bullshit! 

I crafted the N7 chestpiece! 25% shield on kill (of course), 5% damage resistance, 2% shield restoration, 2% health&shield regen speed, 2% max shield. I called it "N7 Slayer X". And turns out, it was dad's armor...

Oh right, it needs a new color scheme!

Havarl

I like this ex-STG, he's talking properly.

I don't like the sound effect from Annihilation -- it's like water in my ears!

Hey Peebs, how do you immediately know where the next piece is as soon as we pick the current one?

Kadara

Here's the bar fight. Animation is not bad but has no energy.

Told the asari dancer that I'm done here and she needs to talk to the dude herself, but the quest still sends me back to him -_-

Tempest

So, Kesh was adopted?

Okay, Kalinda is 100% Marjolaine. Peebee's personal storyline is even more copy-pasted from Leliana than Drack's is copypasted from Wrex.

Aya

So many sidequests again!

The Moshae's words about the definition of victory! That's the smartest thing I've heard in this game in hours.

It's really weird to hear her talk so sweetly to me... When we first met she didn’t seem to like me.

When Vetra said people were staring at her, I couldn't resist suggesting they're just all in love...

I suggested taking people who sold their Aya slots onto the Nexus. That's not even charity -- the same ambassador gave me a task to convince angara to come there anyway! So this would kill two birds with one stone.

For the visitor who wanted contact with his family, I had to reload. The options didn't even seem too different... Got it right for the other two: gave an honest professional answer about health issues, and a confident casual answer about finding work.

Great, now I have to head back into the city to buy stuff... This is literally a fetch quest lol

Eos

Omg, the Architect is in orbit now!

The Roekaar fight in an old settlement was very chaotic and fun with Flamethrower/ED/Lance, though it'd probably be easier to just charge

Tempest

Aaaand Jaal gives me his loyalty mission. It's funny that I'm going to do my own love interest's mission last...

Jaal's LM

I continue to be unimpressed with the Roekaar being pure antagonists. :/

Didn't shoot the guy, told Jaal he was badass.

Why are loyalty missions so short?

BTW Ryder just looks wrong in N7 armor... She's not Shepard, that's not her allegiance or her story.

Tempest

Jaal, just as we're leaving Havarl you decided to invite me for a visit down there?

Turian ark

Avitus has very stylish armor

For fuck's sake, Bioware, why do you hate gay men so much?

I convinced Avitus to take the mantle. It was a very sentimental decision for Ryder -- because her situation is very similar. Her SAM and the connection he had with her father are unique, but she didn't think of that in that moment.

Nexus

"Better to find your wings as you fly" Easy for you to say, Sarissa, your predecessor wasn't a loved one

Tempest

I'd agree with Peebee about relationship and baggage, but of course I felt obligated to take the romantic option

(I don’t think there’s an option to agree with her, though, so it’s only for the best)

Voeld

Liam, Vetra, don't fight!

Whoops, sorry for leaving you to die in the purification field, Vetra

...I liked the old color scheme better. Green light looks more alien, but less pretty.

Nexus

Final memory -- here we go!

My theory was that the Archon was somehow Ellen, but that made so little sense I didn't even write it down :D This is simpler.

BTW there's finally Shepard's gender we had to select in the beginning -- in translated subtitles :D Didn't hear it even once in the audio -- could it be Bioware actually took their foreign audience into consideration? :O

Honestly, it's weird that the Reapers info is so secret... From the OT I got the impression that Shepard was yelling about it to everyone at every opportunity...

Fine, fine, you made me emotional with Liara's message.

Shit, I was expecting this decision...

I feel pretty sad now. That's all?

Peebee's LM

Oh, so that's why she lives in an escape pod :D I thought this was only a characterization thing, not a Chekhov's gun!

I said I wasn't mad, though I was a bit. But I mean Ryder *is* mad but also having the time of her life so...

Shit I just shot Kalinda instinctively lmao

Ok I replayed the entire sequence and Idk. This is really the hardest choice in the game...

I'm tempted to say "Yes, literally" :D

Since it's so hard to reaload, it's fair game to watch videos before deciding for myself. Okay, "Yes, literally" is way too harsh.

Alright, this Ryder is not going to make Peebee sad, but I've already planned a Renegade-ish playthrough with a Ryder who values knowledge over everything, so... :D

(Btw, I love that MEA's brand of a more ruthless protagonist is not "uncontrollable brute" but "intellectual snob". As tedious as this game is, I'm already super eager to play character who has those values & takes urgency of tasks seriously.)

This mission is enjoyable and the choice feels maybe the most meaningful... But it has all the classic Mass Effect problems. Kalinda sends a shitload of people to murder us, we murder them, but when she's helpless and we have a finger on the trigger all of that suddenly doesn't matter. Sidonis all over again. Sure, murdering people begging for help is bad in a lot of ways, but she did just try to kill us, a lot of times... Plus, why the fuck can't Ryder jump over and catch the Remnant thing?! That needed to be a second, Paragon interrupt after the Renegade "shoot her." And Ryder is a goddamn biotic, as is Peebee, as is Kalinda! Peebee, Pull is your first goddamn skill! It'd actually be completely plausible if the artifact had shields and/or armor and therefore immune to Pull or Singularity -- but not giving the characters even an idea to try is just stupid!

Tempest

Inviting Peebee to live with together made me revisit my room and inspired me to make some changes. You know what, I'm going to play music in my quarters and change into the short-sleeved pajamas. It's my own ship, why do I walk around it in street clothes? The jacket is stylish but too much to wear at home. I wish we had a "formal" outift for Nexus/Aya/other hubs in addition to the "casual" clothes we wear on the ship.

Shit I went to read someone's post about Peebee's LM and caught a spoilers about the romance post-LM

Addison is right, getting pregnant in that situation was irresponsible

Ah the continuity in this game. "Found more outposts"? I have every possible outpost and all planets at 100%!

"On hold: Place an outpost" bitch where

Voeld

What, there's still a cold hazard?! What was the point of the vault, then?!

Whoa, so the angara believe exaltation not just kills their people but destroys their immortal souls? Wow! That should have been said by a major character during the main story, not by an easily missed NPC!

Oh great, I died and the game refuses to load the last autosave

Dear game. Why did you create four autosaves for the same second. All glitched. Half hour of gameplay lost... God please let the last manual save work. I was sure I saved in between, but just now my PC decided that we still have daylight savings clock change when we do not, and the timestamps on all recent saves are messed up. This especially sucks because I'm trying to rush Peebee's romance because I don't know when the sex scene comes up but I want to make sure it's not when my mom is home while I play it on her PC lol

Tempest

Fuck, that was cute! And Peebee did tackle Ryder, as promised! :D I wonder what she says through Zap in the platonic version...

Addison please don't say the baby screams "like a banshee". I fucking jumped.

"Before you say anything: no PDAs" :D

Level 50! Time to craft myself a powerful new Dhan. I've been running with rank three all this time...

I love that whenever you ask about Kalinda and then return to the general dialogue tree you say "Let's talk about something else" and Peebee responds "YES. Please."

Voeld

Alright, so: the kett leaders are dissatisfied with the Archon because he hasn't reported to them recently, the communication with the kett homeworld(?) might be disrupted in general and the Scourge might be to blame.

Tempest

Damn, SAM has a pretty insightful speech about death! The only thing that can't be rationalized after experiencing it, which is why it fascinates. I actually haven't heard it explained this way before.

My movie night quest hasn't progressed since I brought Jaal his device...

Eos

Ryder watching and playing football with two giant guns floating near her hips... omg

Elaaden/Kadara

What? I'm completely confused by all these identical salarians.

I don't understand this choice. He promises to give us the intel if we let him go... what proof do we have besides his word? And how would arresting him stop us from getting intel from his computer etc?

Reloaded to see both options, chose to arrest him

Havarl

I'm not hugging Jaal's mother wtf

Ryder has surprisingly good facial animation when Jaal shows his mementos

In theory Ryder should like Jaal for being such a nerd but the only thing he makes me feel is mild irritation. His interest in "taking things apart" is an informed quality just like his supposed emotional openness. It's not reflected in his dialogue or storyline at all.

And now I'm finished with all quests in the ally category. I wanted to finish the game asap, but now that we know the patch is coming on Thursday, I'll wait for it.

Multiplayer

Extracted from Silver for the first time as Human Vanguard (level 8, rank IV)! It was against Remnant, so Observers and Destroyers were the only problem. Nullifiers are ridiculously easy for a melee character -- like Ravagers, but without acid.

Got Krogan Vanguard from a pack. Will I have to tolerate the Rage overlay?

The first game with Kroguard was going well, he's got a stong melee even though he's slow... and then wave 6/upload/Kett killed us all :(

Completely unrelated to anything, but I just realized that if you pick the romantic option in the escape pod with Peebee, they don't actually have sex. Call me stupid because that's what Peebee's initial condition is, but I thought Ryder's response changed her mind! When Ryder said "Let's not rush things" I interpreted and meant it in the emotional sense, as "It'd be dishonest to hide that I have a crush on you, but you don't owe me anything, and if you don't ready for a Serious Relationship and Grand Romance yet that's fine because I'm not either, so let's just hook up and leave reflection for later" -- which I thought was pretty sweet and interesting? Because this whole relationship to me was built on the fascinating contrast between Peebee's emotional reservations and casual/flirty attitude, and conversely, on Ryder very consciously respecting Peebee's emotional space. Maybe I just fundamentally don't understand sex and romance lmao. But if character A propositions character B, character B says they have feelings for character A, and the scene promptly fades to black, I assume they do the do because that's how these things are filmed? Only in comparison with the other option, which is actually pretty explicit, it became obvious to me that's not what the director meant. I'm pretty disappointed because I thought it was a good subversion of Jack's "either sex or romance" thing in ME2. And it messes with my headcanon/characterization... I guess I'll have to retcon it into one of the two options. I'll probably go with casual, not romantic in that case. But I just read that Peebee will tell you she's glad you said no, so... :/

Multiplayer

Failed a Silver APEX mission agains the Remnant as a human vanguard :(

Got an asari sentinel!

The patch is here, but I can't launch the game now :( This needs some work.

Ugh, I stop playing for two days and have no motivation to pick the game up again...