#hes so funny. and no one knows but they COULD. were i more gungho on the gamedev front.

[clovisbrayai]

feeding myself things that give me diseases about my own oc. orobas come home (im responsible for making him exist and i have to figure out how to make a dungeon crawler in order to have him at all)

[2goldensnitches]

Thoughts™ on Attack on Titan and its ending (spoilers):

Clowning on the diehard fans’ anger (esp the gungho Eren squad) is funny, but at the same time, the writing was on the wall over this considering how fast everything went downhill after the basement reveal. And this is for the simple reason of Isayama not actually giving a shit about the story. 

“But how could he not care about the story when it’s so Deep™ and violent and has Politics and it’s dark and it shows really difficult themes?”

Because he said so himself: “I don’t discuss politics, don’t make this to be a political story, blah blah blah” is what he kept saying when interviewed over his stances. This isn’t to say he doesn’t have any stances at all, but that he’s most likely one of those aggressively “apolitical” types— eg the guys who think WW2 stories are cool because they showcase this grand epic of all-out war, the story of heroes (or “morally grey non-villains”) banding together against a great evil with a barrage of tanks and missiles and shit, where cruel, gritty violence and carnage ups the stakes as a way to get their adrenaline fix. They don’t care about the genocides and the deaths…at least not in the way that we’d think would be the logical way to feel about war and its human cost. More like in the sense that tragedy and violence and loss of life are good story fodder for them. 

They like gritty, they like grimdark, and the darker, the better, because dark means interesting and good writing to them. Racism is good because it’s a way to introduce character conflict and plot points; racism isn’t something they have to think about daily or as anything personally affecting them or people they know and care about and how that affects society as a whole. 

So it makes sense for a man whose engagement with politics and racism only goes as far as “war stories are cool,” but cannot be bothered to actually care about how heavy themes are derived from human suffering, ends up writing something that turns out to be so confusing and polarising. This is how you get a story that constantly flip flops on everything in its narrative like:

the Marleyans are racist against Eldians so they made up a centuries long smear campaign alleging their collusion with the devil in order to justify persecuting them

Except the Eldians actually were horrendous imperialist oppressors so the Marleyan’s hatred is justified

Except now the Eldians are oppressed so the cycle of suffering continues and the only apparent way to solve this is by murdering 80% of the world’s population

Also! the direct ancestress of the Titans was from a tribe enslaved by Eldians (including having their tongues cut out as a symbol of their bondage), and whose life was full of suffering 

The Source of All Living Matter (the origin of all Titans and their power) is never fully explored even though it’s supposed to be…the source of all living matter lol

Ymir Fritz being abused by King Fritz (used as his personal war machine and public works builder, forced into concubinage to bear him three children who, in turn, are forced to cannibalise her after her brutal death in order to preserve the power of the Titans) and chained to the Paths/Coordinate for all eternity after her shitty life is the reason behind her intense yearning for freedom. She even allies herself with Eren is because he promised her freedom and recognised her humanity beyond simply being a slave. Nope! Turns out Ymir was actually stuck there doing all that because she was deeply in love with King Fritz and wanted to continue his legacy

Said love is also what’s keeping Eren chained to his path of destruction and the only way to fix that is to have the object of his own romantic love kill him because Mikasa being the target of his affections makes her responsible?? for his murderous rampage??

“I only see Mikasa as my adoptive sister but now I hate her for being so slavishly devoted to me and the military because I value freedom and independence” --> “If Mikasa ends up with another man I will kill myself and the rest of the planet too >:( ” 

In fact the whole eremika ship is extremely confusing because at first it was portrayed as strong filial bonding, then one-sided overprotectiveness on Mikasa’s part which was heavily implied to be romantic in nature and went unreciprocated by Eren, except the last chapter did a last minute reversal showing the inverse was true lmao  

The first chapter was a women in fridges showcase of how Carla Yeager’s extremely violent death drove Eren to join the Survey Corps. He wanted revenge for his mother, and he wanted to exterminate all Titans to create a world where humanity could be free to live as they wish without cowering behind anti-Titan walls keeping them penned in. Sike! Eren’s Titan powers actually let him see the future and past, and the truth behind the Titans and what happened with his family. Instead of trying to change history to avoid all that bloodshed, all that pain and needless anguish, he intentionally diverts Dinah Fritz away from Bertolt…and into Carla’s path so she can eat Carla

Oh yeah Eren actually caused his beloved mother’s graphic, organ-crushing death because he was so deep into his nihilistic incel funk that he decided to traumatise himself to pump him up for global genocide 

That whole thing about wanting to avenge Carla and fight for humanity (the fundamental building blocks of Eren’s character!!) gets miraculously erased to make it all about his Mikasa wangst, thus negating pretty much the entire story      

Overcomplicating a story can happen to anyone. But when you get a guy who only adds in grimdark war themes and controversial (to say the least!) historical parallels for the Edge and the Angst, then you get someone whose lack of caring for all the real world repercussions shows through in the work. Those elements then become exposed as nothing more than cheap narrative devices designed to artificially raise stakes. This is just Isayama’s (and maybe even his editors’) laziness and utter disregard finally coming to light, and then conflicting with his character preferences.  

[msuowen]

hello hello!! this is super belated, but i unexpectedly got swamped with some school/irl things after acceptances so late intro is late. i’m excited to finally have the chance to jump into things, though! anyway, this is the bane of my life, owen kang. he’s one of suseong’s senior prefects, majors in healing, and is a part of too many clubs! on the surface, he seems like the friendly, reliable, big brother type, but his ~persona~ has been carefully crafted and refined over the years. underneath that, he’s just kind of a mess. 

i have his about and background pages up, but i’ll drop a quick intro under the cut. i don’t have a plots page yet, sadly, but i’ll list down some possible connection ideas under the cut as well! pls hmu if you’d like to plot! i check tumblr ims pretty regularly, but i also have a twitter (dm for @) if you’d prefer to plot there! ooooooor, you could just like this post and i’ll slide into your ims instead!

QUICK FACTS:

twenty two, 1/2 of suseong’s senior prefects, majoring in healing with a minor in potions

he’s also president of the herbology club, and a member of the swimming team, ancient runes club, and potions club! like most other people in his major, he’ll also help out in the hospital wing for that ~experience~ so he keeps a #stacked schedule

former hogwarts student - was in ravenclaw. his hogwarts self was markedly different than the person he is now (a lot more like, shy/introverted/quiet/meek), so if you know from back then... no you don’t ♥

like i said, comes off as a responsible, reliable big brother type. super friendly and personable, will help you out if you’re in a crisis. he seems a little uptight, but he’s an all around good guy who not many people have a bad word to say about - and works really hard to cultivate that image, you know? 

has stellar grades, always participates in clubs, consistently does well on his sports team, etc. vulnerability and seeming less than perfect is a no-go for him, so he puts a stupid amount of effort into stuff that doesn’t really matter in the long run

so yeah!!! he’s fake - is actually super bitter and cynical underneath his perfect good boy exterior. gets exhausted easily and hates dealing with people he deems not worth his time... which is most people. really heavy on the self-loathing and insecurities because he thinks he’s a shitty person and worries a lot about not meeting the arbitrary standards he sets for himself!!

keeps most people at a distance - like yeah, he’s friendly, but he doesn’t have many friends. it’s really hard for him to trust people and be honest with them!! doesn’t mean he doesn’t have like... a very small inner circle but it’s (waves hands) hard, you feel?

anyway just don’t perceive him and everything will be good

as a brief background: born in wales, grew up in the uk region. ended up moving around a lot in his childhood due to his dad’s condition. to cut a long story short, his dad is a werewolf, and the family didn’t always have enough funds to pay for wolfsbane so there were many full moons where his dad went feral and owen and his mom just had to keep him contained. after a few years of this, his mom (who was a poor muggle, rip) just up and left which meant owen had to keep his dad contained when there was no wolfsbane!! that left him a bit traumatized and terrified of werewolves though he’s ashamed of this... really ashamed

(it’s fucked up to be scared of your own dad, right?)

so hogwarts/mokseong is kind of an escape from ~reality~ though he still wants to help his dad somehow... so he’s trying to focus on researching a complete cure for lycanthropy. his dad’s condition is a secret, but most people do know about owen’s research goals and he’s super gungho about like #werewolfrights. it’s just that no one knows why! or that he’s secretly scared of them!

anyway that’s him. my bitchass son

CONNECTIONS:

people he knew from hogwarts, mostly because the dissonance between his kinda quiet/reserved image and the assertive, involved prefect he is now is kind of funny

friends... or more like shallow(ish) friends he talks to often but they really don’t know shit about him. maybe they don’t realize it and think they’re besties! idk, he’s fairly friendly and approachable, so i see him being on good terms with most people

maybe like (1) or (2) legit inner circle friends who’ve gotten to see beyond the mask owen puts up and like him in spite of his bitchy soul

enemies?? would love some academic rivals like yes we will get into a debate in the middle of class over this super niche subject let’s GO. more serious enemies are fine too - love some drama so if you wanna hate him (or want him to hate you), i’m down

club and team friends!! esp from herbology club since owen spends a ton of time in the greenhouse and takes his role as prez super seriously

exes maybe?? i love ex plots - can’t see him dating much but i feel like he has and it usually ends kind of messily because he’s either too busy or not willing to be vulnerable in a relationship rip. maybe some of them he actually liked a lot fr

he’s smart so people he tutors, or helps out with shit otherwise - you can come to him with the most random problem and he’s likely to help you out!

suseong folks i just want some cute house plots ): esp with younger students since owen is really good at taking care of people!!

little specific but someone who ends up in the hospital wing all the time and it drives owen crazy because he’s worried about them and hates that he’s worried (and okay maybe he has a cr*sh but that’s not important)

idk i will put up a legit plots page soon but please plot with us :’D

[sinfulwonders]

Kaede or Korekiyo for the ask thing? ^^

Sorry this took a bit!

Kaede Akamatsu

Fight them or fight for them

Fight for them! Kaede is a sweetheart, and I’d hate to see people gang up on her. But I could also see us butting heads a bit, since she is a very gungho person, so maybe a bit of both. xP

On a scale from 1-10 how excited do I get when I see them

Kaede art is usually super pretty! I’ll say like 5.

Would I smooch/date/etc

I probably would date Kaede. I mean she’s such a kind and loving person, and she freaking plays the piano?! I’d be so lucky!

Do I write for them

I’ve written Kaede in a side character capacity in some of my Oumasai fics! Oh! And I’ve written a couple of Kaede x Rantaro drabbles, too!  I enjoy writing for her a lot!

Their defining color (color I most associate with them)

Pink. Definitely pink.

My nickname(s) for them

Piano freak? Just kiddding. I do love that Miu calls her Bakamatsu sometimes though. That’s pretty funny.

Something I have in common with them

We both speak without thinking. (I’m either speaking without thinking or overthinking to the point that it’s unhealthy and there is like no inbetween. ;_;) We also both play the piano, but she plays it way better than me of course.

Song I associate with them

Youth by Daughter This is one of my favorite songs of all time, but I think it fits Kaede really really well. 

Who do I ship them(and type of ship ex. Romantic or brotp)

I ship Kaede with Rantaro primarily! I think they’d be super adorable. I also love her and Shuichi as a brotp. I also don’t hate her and Miu together. The more I see it the more I like it!

Idea for an imagine/fanfic for them (if I have one)

I wanna write a cute fic of her and Rantaro cooking/baking together, where it turns into a mini food fight. I think that has fluffy potential.

Korekiyo Shinguji

Fight them or fight for them

God. I love Kork, but he needs someone to fight for him to get some help. So I would fight him if he tried to fight the people helping him.

On a scale from 1-10 how excited do I get when I see them

I love looking at Korekiyo. I have a bunch of Korekiyo merch even though he’s not even one of my favorite characters personality wise. So like 7.

Would I smooch/date/etc

I wanna touch his hair! And hug him! But nope, I don’t really wanna smooch or date him.

Do I write for them

Just as a background character I think. I would love to write for him more though!

Their defining color (color I most associate with them)

Black and red I think. I know he wears like a forest green outfit, and I think that’s a defining color, too. But I just see black and red when I think of him.

My nickname(s) for them

Kork. Oh and if you’re not following the ask-savior-kork account you should. It’s adorable and hilarious.

Something I have in common with them

We both have sisters? Lol, but I’d venture to say that my relationship with my sister is a bit healthier than his. But we also definitely both know a lot of weird facts that no one cares about.

Song I associate with them

Creep by Radiohead. (Another one of my favorite songs!) But I think this cover is perfect for him.

Who do I ship them(and type of ship ex. Romantic or brotp)

Therapy first and foremost. He was in what seems like a severely abusive relationship with his sister and he needs to heal. I don’t mind him with Rantaro or Angie, although I see Angie as more of a brotp when it comes down to it. Also I think he’d get along with Gundham as friends.

Idea for an imagine/fanfic for them (if I have one)

Oh man. I’d love to write him waking up and finding out that v3 was all a simulation and having to go through the consequences of killing 2 people, while also realizing most of his memories were false. 

[gumnut-logic]

Thoughts on the Tracy Boys - Scott

This popped into my head today while watching Penny and Virgil trying to pull TB4 out of some sea sludge. I’ve started here and no doubt it will go elsewhere. Where I know not, but I hope it will be fun along the way :D Theoretically each piece should be able to be read stand alone, but they will be a set eventually :D

No spoilers or warnings, other than I know nothing of the history of the Tracy and Creighton-Ward families and as usual, I’m just making stuff up :D Thank you to @scribbles97 for the read through and encouragement :D

-o-o-o-

Lady Penelope Creighton-Ward first met a Tracy at age thirteen. Her father had been called over to the United States on business and he had taken her with him with the idea that she needed exposure to different cultures and customs.

Not that she hadn’t been to a variety of places, but the United States was a different kettle of fish to Europe.

The first Tracy she encountered was a serious young man by the name of Scott. A little older than her and fraught with responsibility, she at first had no idea what to expect from him. A mess of brown hair and a smile that was rather charming, he introduced himself politely and shook her hand firmly.

Her father was meeting with Jeff Tracy regarding funding of one of their smaller aeronautical companies. It was obvious that Scott was the son of her father’s business associate, his appearance was a younger echo of the older man.

Left to themselves while their parents spoke money, Penny eyed him. Even at thirteen she knew her interests lay in people, in delving into who they were, what they were thinking. She had read books on body language and tells, cultural norms and human communication, but really it was just obvious that Scott Tracy was worried about something.

“A worry shared is a grey hair spared.”

“Er, what? Um, I’m sorry, pardon me?”

His eyes were such an alluring blue.

“You are worried about something. I was wondering if I could help.”

He eyed her, not with suspicion, but some wariness. This was a boy who had seen difficulties in life, that much she could tell. Otherwise why would he show such reluctance?

“I don’t bite.”

He arched an eyebrow at that. “I should hope not.” But then he let loose a ravishing smile enough to conquer a thirteen year old girls heart at the mere hint of it. “It’s nothing. One of my little brothers played a prank on me before I left this morning.” He pulled up a sleeve and her eyes widened as he revealed a smudged drawing of a fish on his forearm in permanent marker. “I don’t really care so much, but Dad didn’t take it well.”

“What sort of fish is it?”

He frowned at her. “Er, I don’t know? You’d have to ask my brother.”

“It looks very much like a marlin. A great sporting fish.”

Scott blinked at her. “Do you know much about fish?”

“I know a little.” She looked around the room. “However, my interests tend to lie elsewhere.”

Her chauffeur-slash-bodyguard stood in one corner, his eyes darting suspicious glares in Scott’s direction.

“Oh, what are you intending to specialise in?”

She frowned. This was not the typical teenager she was used to. He was ever so, well, thoughtful and introspective. Now, glancing at his attire, she could see he kept it immaculate, Every seam was neatly pressed and he wore the suit with ease. There was nothing gawky or unkempt about Scott Tracy.

“People. I intend to specialise in people.”

She would look back at the encounter later and realise that for one of the few times in her life, she had taken the young man as he was. She blamed youth for it, but honestly she suspected that smile altered her perception of him.

There were many meetings after that. Their parents were proposing big things. Jeff Tracy himself was like a man possessed, yet so kindly to all he met. Cut throat businessman if he had to be, but never unfair.

His eldest son was around for many of those meetings, being trained up to possibly follow in his father’s footsteps. The impressions she got off of him regarding the subject were highly volatile. He followed his father like the man was a messiah in the boardroom, yet he had his own mind and wasn’t afraid to use it. Jeff, for all his passion, listened and decided, weighing equally whatever his son had offered with everything else on the table.

There was one instance however that stuck in her mind for a long time and more clearly detailed how this father and son relationship worked.

It was late and this time it was in the Creighton-Ward residence. She was fifteen and Scott had been called into the meeting during some leave from the airforce. She could tell Scott was unhappy from the moment he arrived, but he kept his mouth shut and was all politeness until towards the end of the night. Her father offered them lodging and Jeff had kindly accepted when Scott drew him aside, taking him out through the main doors for privacy.

She doubted they had intended to raise their voices, but they were American and father and son and the whispers became words that could clearly be heard through the ancient doors of her home.

Scott was arguing that they needed to return home that night, something about an awards ceremony he wanted his father to attend.

Jeff claimed that negotiations hadn’t been completed and he needed to speak to the London board in the morning...which was true. The deal was yet to be finalised and a large amount of her father’s money and the Tracys’ money were tied up in this.

But Scott was vehement.

“This is very important to Gordon, Dad. He needs you to be there.”

“I know that Scott, but I can’t just leave. There will be other swimming titles. Gordon will go all the way to the Olympics, I’m sure of it.”

“Please, Dad. You’ve missed so many. He is counting on you being there. Please don’t make me have to tell him again.” His tone was pleading, yet underneath she could detect hurt and anger.

“Scott, I am truly sorry.” And Jeff was. She could feel his disappointment and regret through the doors.

But it wasn’t enough for the younger Tracy. “Then I guess I’ll be flying home alone tonight.”

“Scott-“

“No, Dad. Someone has to be there for him. Virgil is trying, John can’t, I’m grabbing Alan out of school on the way down.

“Alan? Are you sure that this is that important. He shouldn’t be missing his-“

“Yes, Dad, it is that important and you would know that if you had listened to a single word I’ve said.”

There was a silence after that

Penny looked at her father and found him frowning.

Jeff returned to the room, but Scott did not. His father made apologies for him.

Her father continued to frown.

The last few items on the agenda were addressed, but she could see Mr Tracy was distracted and his heart was no longer in it.

“Jeff, go.” Her father’s voice was soft. “I’ll take care of the meeting in the morning. Go.”

“No, no, this is far too important.” The man was shaking his head as it bowed towards the desktop.

“Jeff, from one father to another, go. Some things are far more important than anything else.”

The man looked up at her father, his grey eyes worried. “I know.”

“Then go.” Her father waved his hand impatiently. “Go on, get. Hunt your boy down before he bad mouths you to the airport staff.

Jeff’s raised eyebrow pretty much summed up what he thought the chances of that was and Penny couldn’t agree more. Scott would find a plane, fly it home, do what needed to be done and them silently fume.

She wondered if Scott was the type to take out a gym or one of those who buried themselves in work to abate their anger. Because there was plenty of anger in the young man. She had identified that much.

Years later she found out first hand exactly what Scott was capable of destroying when his father went missing. Her gym still had the gouges in the walls.

But that night of the meeting was when she discovered where Scott Tracy’s passion lay. He was all about flying and speed and just as gunghoe as any flyboy on the planet, but it mostly hid his true passion.

Family.

She got to know the Tracy boys well. Eventually her family and the Tracys practically merged as International Rescue was born. They worked together from opposite sides of the planet. Sometimes they played together as well.

But the eldest tracy always stayed the same. Ever passionate about his brothers and sister, Grandmother, Brains and even herself.

She had seen him turn from the kind and well mannered gentleman she knew him to be to a defensive lion of a man at the mere mention of a threat to those he loved. She witnessed it first hand in a night club. He blew her cover by throwing her assailant over the bar. It was an inconvenience and she noted to herself not to invite any of the Tracys undercover in the future, but it was terribly sweet.

He didn’t have to know that she later picked the guy off the floor and dragged him into a back room to interrogate him. Parker was most put out that he missed the argument because he had been home sick with the flu.

He did however look at the eldest Tracy with more respect from that point onwards.

So Scott Tracy was easy to read, easy to admire and honestly, that smile still made her insides all funny, though she would never admit it. Especially since she had long since fallen hopelessly in love with another smile.

But Scott was the first and first impressions were important.

And so was he.

-o-o-o-

End Part One

[senpai-no-lie]

Black Eagles Route

Finally, with a certain level of dread in my heart, I completed Crimson Flower

Why I chose Black Eagles (specifically Crimson Flower): I had already completed Azure Moon and Verdant Wind, so it was just a matter of picking between Crimson Flower or Silver Snow. I figured it’d be best to just knock out Crimson Flower, since I still needed Hubert, Jertiza, and Edelgard’s supports.  

Who Was My Dancer: Sylvain! I kept my recruits for this route only to characters I needed to complete supports, and then also Sylvain, because his aesthetic sense just seemed to jive with the Black Eagles. As a dancer, he did okay, but I think I much prefer him on a horse. However, his dancing was crucial to killing Dimitri before Dedue turned into a beast, and a few other pivotal moments. I just don’t think Sylvain has the magical firepower I like with my dancers (It should be known I don’t typically use the dancer character at all in other FE games, but I really enjoy the magic-utilty they have in 3H) 

What Paired Endings Did I Get:  

Edelgard & Hubert (I actually feel really bad for Hubert; it wasn’t my intention to do this)

Linhardt & Hapi

Dorothea & Petra

Jeritza & Bernadetta 

Ferdinand & Mercedes

Not as many paired endings as usual because I really only cared about filling out my missing supports

Who Did Byleth Marry: Sylvain. Totally, totally not who I meant to marry; my intention was Yuri, but then I never used Yuri. And I just have a soft spot for Sylvain. I stand behind my decision. 

Which Edelgard Do I prefer?: Purely on aesthetics, post-timeskip Edelgard is p hot, ngl, but I find her to be more intolerable because of how hard they push that weird sort of gap moe waifu bait with her. So I guess pre-timeskip, even if that’s not much better.

General Thoughts: I tried, oh so hard, to go in with an open mind about Edelgard and the other route exclusive characters. Edelgard leaves about 0 impressions in the other routes, as far as being an antagonist goes, but from the opening chapters on my first playthrough, I found her to be manipulative, condescending, and perhaps a bit immature. And yeah, she’s all of those things and more.... But Hubert, Hubert I love and I’m so mad that I can see the appeal of Hubert x Ferdinand now. My only point of contention remains the fact that in canon they remain subservient to her in their paired ending. 

I also went out of my way to kill every single named character throughout the route, and it was both satisfying and heartbreaking. That Dimitri and Dedude death scene, Seteth’s shouts as I struck down Flayn, the dialogue between Sylvain as he fought against his childhood friends.... so good. 

The Black Eagles Characters:

I did almost all the supports possible, sans route exclusives and DLC on my first playthrough, but I’ve yet to hash out my general feelings about the Black Eagles. 

Edelgard: Plain and simple, I do not stan Edelgard. I found a lot of her behavior more reasonable if she was 13 pre-timeskip and 18 post-timeskip, but a 23 year old being so cringey and unaware of the greater political climate (Hubert regularly does things behind her back that she doesn’t even notice or care to notice, while complaining that Hubert makes her work for ambitions rather than letting her eat sweets or stare at the sky all day, ugh) is just unappealing as hell. The whole sequence where I had two opportunities to call her fear of rats “cute” was super off-putting, and the don’t get me started on her drawing Byleth fanart. She’s constantly looking for affirmation from Byleth (despite insisting she doesn’t need praise in lecture), while being manipulative and condescending to everyone else. Her calling Lysithea “good girl” when Lysithea is 20/21, only three years younger, and an entire inch taller than Edelgard post-timeskip is pure cringe. Also the name Black Eagles Strike Force is an awful name and I’m not sorry I told her as much. 

Hubert: I’m torn on whether or not Hubert is my favorite Black Eagle. I really enjoy devoted servant characters, and I find him more endearing because Edelgard doesn’t deserve him. He’s so visually unappealing (though, not as bad as I find Lorenz to be) and weird, but I respect that about him. 

Ferdinand: Sweet, dumb Ferdinand. I love him; his supports are a delight and I am consistently charmed by how sweet he is in his supports. I prefer him in other routes than how he has to behave in Crimson Flower, but what can ya do. Truly, the noblest of nobles

Linhardt: I’ve heard mixed opinions about Linhardt, but I for one like him. He’s a fair-weather sort of guy who only cares about a few things, and I support that. He’s just strange and intelligent and a dry sense of humor I can appreciate.

Caspar: This moron, I love him. Caspar is the one person I’d expect to follow Edelgard unquestioningly because he just doesn’t have enough brain cells to do otherwise. I think he’s funny, even if his tone-deaf screaming in eagerness to kill and conquer Fodlan grew taxing. 

Dorothea: I like Dorothea alright; I think she has a lot of personality in her supports, but she’s not really the sort of character I find especially endearing or relatable. Nothing wrong with that.

Petra: A great girl! I find her manner of speech endearing, and I’m personally grateful that didn’t try to do some sort of accent for her that’s 1:1 for the real world. I was a bit put-off by how gungho she is with siding with Edelgard and dismantling Fodlan, but ya know, what choice does she have a political prisoner shoved into the black hole that surrounds Edelgard?

Bernadetta: People complain that Sylvain doesn’t mature post-timeskip, but Bernedetta still does that awful screeching and being a recluse routine up until the very end. I don’t like her or find her funny, but I do enjoy the sort of moral relativism she employs. Her supports with Yuri made me feel exceptionally sorry for Yuri. 

Jeritza: His voice and cadence irritates me to no end, but he was enjoyable as a unit, at least. I think his “personality” or “two personalities” is troupey to the max, and his supports with Byleth were especially off-putting. I feel like if you’re going to make a murder-happy character like Jeritza, especially one with like a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde thing going on, it needs to be way more campy or bombastic. 

I could honestly write a bunch more, but it’d mostly be me bitching about specific cringe-inducing moments with Edelgard that I’m sure other people who aren’t aggressively stanning her have brought up. If you like Edelgard, good for you, but I’m of the opinion that she’s a snake, and not even a clever or tactful one. Crimson Flower is so painful with how obvious it is with it’s Edelgard-pandering that it took me out of the game multiple times. All their routes have their flaws, but I guess the last (and only) animated sequence for CF was pretty dope, at least.  

[aerialflight]

BTS fic recs (or: a continuation with less magic!aus but there still is some on this list)

It’s been around six months and I’m again sucked into the BTS fandom, mostly because of the BTS World album and game. Seriously, how they manage to spit out so many songs so fast is amazing. And you can thank my dad for getting me back into the fandom cause he is just as obsessed as I am about BTS, which I find hilarious and my mom long-suffering XD.

Anyway, so I’m recommending yet another list that has cumulated over the months, some recommended to me by @onceabluemoonwrites (thank you for the recs and continuing to spur my obsession) and those I stumbled upon and ended up loving. Hope you all enjoy and I apologize that there aren’t as many magic!aus in advance, but there still is some since it wouldn’t complete without it!

-

girls just want to have fun by fitzgarbage

Ship: Suga/J-Hope

“Namjoon told me you’d probably be haunting a corner. I didn’t know what he meant, but I think I get it now.” He’s breathing hard. “I knew you right away. You look really good, by the way.”

(suga is transgender, he's a she in this fic. suga is amazing and the background ships had me invested and oh man, this is one of those fics that steal your heart if you let it.)

Stars Lost in the Sea by smiles

Ship: Jin/Suga

2018 In a desperate attempt to overcome his writer's block, Kim Seokjin rents a cottage by the sea on a remote island in the southern part of Korea for the summer, intent on successfully completing a story.

1933 Min Yoongi spends his nights tending the lighthouse, providing a light on the horizon for lost sailors to navigate safely, all the while feeling lost by himself, a lightkeeper without a guiding light.

There are some people who are meant to cross paths, even if it means time itself must bend to accommodate them.

(editor!Jimin is high strung and gungho and this alone made me fall for this fic for giving me this. this story is the definition of ‘star-crossed lovers’, i was rooting for them so hard. bless.)

rumour has it (but maybe it'd be better to just ask me) by Curionenene 

Ship: Jimin/RM

"Tae! I think Kim Namjoon asked me out on a date?”

That, makes Taehyung look away from his phone for once. “The Kim Namjoon? Sex on walking stilts, Kim Namjoon?”

“No, Kim Namjoon who’s my cousin third removed. Of course, the Kim Namjoon, you walnut.”

“Walnuts are actually really good for brain development.” Taehyung says distractedly before he frowns. “Wait, Kim Namjoon is your cousin?”

-

(Or: Namjoon and Jimin like each other, Taehyung and Hoseok are great friends, Seokjin and Jungkook aren't as great, and Yoongi is paid far too little for this.

Oh, and there are rumours. Supposedly, Namjoon is a sex god. Everyone is saying it, so it must be true.

Spoilers: it's not.)

(you know those fics that has gloriously disasterous characters that makes you feel like you’re less of a mess than they are? this is it. this is your pick up fic. so pick it up please.)

jack i'm flying! by ameliabedelias  

(honestly though, this author has written some of the funniest bts fics i’ve ever read, definitely recommend)

Ship: Jin/Jimin

“Are they okay?” A concerned booze cruise attendant walks by. “They’re not gonna jump, are they?”

“Please, just ignore them,” Hoseok sighs, flopping into one of the deck lounge chairs as Seokjin and Jimin get into position. “They’ve been doing this for three years now. It's kind of their thing.”

//

Or, five times Seokjin and Jimin do the Titanic Pose™.

(this fic is proof that this is the most chaotic pairing i’ve ever seen the sheer chaos man i’m not kidding. this is gold. solid gold.)

you are so gorgeous it makes me so mad by ameliabedelias  

Ship: Jimin/RM

Park Jimin is Instagram famous. Or he was, until Kim Namjoon walked into one of his pictures and stole the spotlight. 

(same author as previously, i just had to people this fic is incredible. jimin is characterized so beautifully here. the title alone should make you want to read it.)

light at the end by fruitily

(you don’t know what you were missing in life until you read their fics)

Ship: Jin/Jungkook

death follows jungkook. death is crashing at his place and not paying rent. death is eating all of his cinnamon toast crunch.

(seokjin is not death. he’s just the guy who’s nice enough to take you to the last stop.)

(i cried tears of laughter enough to fill a lake. jin is a grim reaper. yes. you heard me right. and jungkook has to deal with it. its amazing.)

in all dishonesty by fruitily

Ship: Suga/V

while taehyung is trying to figure out whether or not min yoongi wants to stab him with a fountain pen, they find out they make an excellent team when it comes to board games.

(this gave me so many flashbacks to when i was a kid. they are perfect for each other and my brother laughed so much when i read him a few lines. because he is a cheating cheater who lies and is very impressed by this pair. you'll see what i mean.)

can't get it up without you by Curionenene

(i love their fics. LOVE)

Ship: Jin/Suga

“Actually,” Seokjin speaks up then, because it looks like Yoongi's friends are having a hard time believing him. “I think the most dramatic one was when we literally tried to migrate to escape each other, but our planes went down, and we both drifted to the same deserted island.”

Now even Taehyung looks incredulous. “You're kidding.”

“No. We ended up fucking just so we could hasten the process and go onto the next life. Because the mosquitos there? Worse than death.”

“Wait…” Jimin says slowly. “You mean you actually die?”

~*~

(Or: Yoongi and Seokjin are soulmates. They hate each other.)

(the summary should be enough incentive to be honest, but yeah, if you want to die laughing, please read this. p l e a s e.)

So Collapse, Fall. by Curionenene

Ship: Jungkook/V

“Mmm… but what was it that made you decide to come back?” Seokjin rephrases.

Taehyung glances at Jungkook, and deliberately, his lips twitch up into a smirk, eyes darkening just a little bit. “I’m a human after all. Foolish. Figuring out my intentions shouldn’t be rocket science.”

For a moment, the other three in the room just stare at him. Taehyung doesn’t let the stares unnerve him, only deciding to cock his head to one side, eyebrow raised as the silence drags on. And then finally it breaks when Jimin shakes his head before letting out a true blue giggle, “well. He’s interesting at least.”

-

(or: Jungkook is a god, Taehyung just wants to be his friend. They both end up as something more.)

(i actually usually don't get into this pairing (surprising since this pairing is actually the most popular on ao3), but the worldbuilding and magic pulled me in.)(laugh and point at me for finding another magic fantasy fic. i won't blame you.)(i love v's characterization in this. he's delightfully complicated and straightforward and manipulative in a good way? i know it sounds weird, but you'll know what i mean when you read it.)

you say witch like it's a bad thing by Curionenene

Ship: Suga/Jin

“It's still a lot of work, even if you have magic on your side.” Yoongi glances over at a jug filled with what looks like pieces of pineapple. And then, as both cat and witch stare at the jug, the pieces are suddenly no more, instead replaced entirely by liquid. “Heck. Magic is draining. I’m going to need a nap later.”

“Why do you think I start at 5 am and only open at 11?” Seokjin grumbles, before he sighs, “yeah, okay. I get your point. No tea then. But we gotta think of something to make with avocados.”

“Why the fuck are we doing avocados?” “Because I ordered avocados.”

“Oh. Ok. Let me rephrase that: why the fuck are we doing avocados?”

~*~

(Or: Seokjin is a witch, Yoongi is his familiar. 99% of their life is bickering like this. The other 1%? Well, you'll have to read and see won't you?)

(blue recommended this to me and i read the whole damn thing. and let me tell you, it wasn’t the magic (well, not just the magic since the worldbuilding makes me want to swoon) that made me stay. it was jin. and his goddamn puns. puns galore. puns everywhere. every shade of pun imaginable, it’s all here. suffer with me along with yoongi. it is glorious.)

something tells me we'll be alright by czar (cmajorchords)

Ship: RM/V

“You’re absolutely right. This is a childish, petty feud, and I’m sure Kim Namjoon is an upstanding citizen and exceptional researcher. I’m sure he is a thousand times more of a professional than I am, and isn’t late to work all the time, and probably doesn’t occasionally sneak into the lab after hours so he can touch the pretty little vases with bare hands instead of using gloves –”

“Doesn’t what?”

“- it’s just that I don’t think I can work him. On, like, a moral level. Like an ethical one. An emotional one? Maybe even metaphysically?”

His supervisor sighs loudly. “So what’s the problem exactly?”

Taehyung scrambles for the first thing that comes to his mind. “Once, when we were at a mixer, he ate the last cranberry-chocolate chip muffin and didn’t even offer to split it.”

Six weeks in the desert at an archaeology dig sounds like everything Taehyung had ever dreamed of. Too bad Kim Namjoon's coming, too.

(this is a really cute fic and just, namjoon is this rambling mess and v is so humanely insecure and all of it is just, ugh. ugh i couldn't stop grinning.)

Fixing Christmas by jeoncrocs

Ship: Jungkook/RM

Namjoon is having the Worst Christmas Eve ever, and it's chiefly his own fault. A kind stranger turns it around.

(I COULDN’T STOP LAUGHING THIS WAS SO FUNNY XDD)

Hold Still by Oh_Hey_Tae

(i’ve recommended a fic from them before and there’s a reason for it. all their fics are just, yes.)

Ship: J-Hope/Jungkook

Jungkook’s going to say that he wasn’t scared, but he literally screamed and was about to throw down with a pan so he says instead, “How’d you get in, anyway?”

“Door was unlocked. Didn’t think anyone was home. Be glad I’m not an actual creep.”

And then this amazing thing happens.

It’s small and simple, quick as can be, but it leaves Jungkook stupefied, mind melting, like he’s lost on a wave.

Jung Hoseok winks at him.

Oh, no.

(Or: Jungkook falls in love easily, Hoseok doesn't open up easily, and somehow they manage to meet in the middle.)

(jungkook is precious here. precious. i want to wrap him up and hug him tight. and i really like how they portrayed hoseok here. and also, theres some representation and i connected to this. a lot.)

Words of Power by rkatz

Ship: Suga/J-Hope

All words have power. Some more than others. And none more than a name.

(behold, a magic!au soulmate fic with stellar worldbuilding. seriously, i am crying over how creative this is, i want to pick at this author’s mind and ask how they came up with this. thank you blue for recommending this!)

Law of the Jungle by MmeIrene

Ship: Jin/RM

“You’re an actor,” said Namjoon after a moment, and Seokjin nodded, looking pleased with their progress.

This was decidedly different, Namjoon thought, staring at Kim Seokjin’s bemused expression, than how it went in movies. Which, all things considered, was terribly ironic considering that Namjoon was being told he couldn’t study in his own library so that the aforementioned Kim Seokjin could film there with his movie crew.

Or, Namjoon is a frazzled grad student who just wants to finish his thesis, but somehow ends up getting cast as an extra in a movie instead.

(you know this is good when a character is accidentally in a movie. any student who wrote or is writing a thesis will understand namjoon’s dilemma on a spiritual level. he stole my heart in this fic, he really did. i don’t blame you one bit jin for falling for this boy.)

[badonk-writing-vault]

Disappointments

An AU for my babies

The shower was running. 

Dalton frowned as he slowly closed the front door, careful to muffle its click. He had an idea of who it was in his home, but he didn’t know how sure he could be about that sort of thing, since he distinctly remembered that Randall was in America. He’d been pretty gungho over the case he’d been called in for-- something about the murderer being a really smart child in the middle of a psychotic break… honestly Dalton had only been skimming the texts, but Randall had seemed happy about it. He couldn’t imagine that he’d be eager to get back so soon.

Grabbing his handgun from under the coffee table, Dalton moved towards the washroom at the end of the hall, calling out just in case he’d miscalculated.

               “Randall, is that you?”

The delayed answer came just before Dalton threw the door open. 

               “Who else would it be?”

Dalton sighed, flipping the safety back on his weapon before sticking it into his waistband. He stepped into the washroom and raised his brow when the shower turned off and Randall threw the curtain open, flipping his hair out of his eyes while grabbing for the towel on the toilet. His movements were unmeasured and too quick and Dalton frowned. Something wasn’t right with him; after coming off a case he was usually ecstatic. Unless something hadn’t gone the way it should’ve...

               “What’s wrong?”

               “What?” Randall shot him a quick look of confusion before going back to toweling himself dry. “Nothing’s wrong-- well, except this stupid time constraint. Gah, I thought the plane would land sooner. I hate having to rush…”

He trailed off and Dalton spun around when his counterpart ran past him and into bedroom. He almost followed him but something told him he’d be coming right back, seeing as he wasn’t even dressed yet, what with only cotton wrapped around his hips. Maybe the running around wasn’t all that new, but his behavior was odd.

               “Randall, what-”

“I have a meeting,” he interrupted, dragging a suitcase in behind him as his other hand worked on wringing the water out of his hair. 

                “Meeting.”

What kind of meeting could have had him running around like a chicken with its head cut off, Dalton had to wonder. Randall rarely cared about even attending meetings, much less about making them on time. He must have caught all of that in the incredulous-tinged word.

               “Remember that research proposal I wrote a few months ago about ‘How Nanochemistry could be the Missing Link for Curing Antisocial Personality Disorder and Related Psychological Disorders’?”

Dalton nodded slowly. He vaguely remembered that. Randall had been going on about for several months while he gathered his information and wrote the paper that was more like a short novel-- he’d been so excited, being able to apply the things he’d learned over the years of working with the world’s best profiling teams to a topic he was passionate about. Dalton knew he’d read it, but he couldn’t really recall much of it. There had been a lot to absorb, and psychological sciences just didn’t hold his interest in the way they did for Randall.

               “Well, the Francis Crick Institute sent some representatives over yesterday and they wanted to meet with me tonight. I caught an early flight back.”

               “Right…” Dalton blinked in surprise. “Wait, did you just leave your team behind to catch the murderer themselves?”

               “They’ve got it covered.” Randall waved his hand in dismissal as he worked on brushing the tangles out of his hair whilst pulling various hair care products and makeup out of his bag. “They’ve caught plenty of killers, they didn’t really need me. Also they’re not my team.”

Dalton snorted. He wished he didn’t completely expect that sort of behavior from Randall.

                “Still, I can’t believe you.”

Randall didn’t bother looking at him when he threw back his response. “Again, they catch killers every year. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for me. I’ve been waiting for someone to pick this up for so long.”

That was true, although Dalton didn't really realize it until right then. Randall had been losing interest in his current job slowly, even if he had seemed interested in the one he’d just gotten back from. He’d been wanting for something more, it seemed-- something that played more into his other degrees. Apparently he really loved science. That was something he’d only recently found out, but he could easily believe. Of course he’d been waiting for a break, something that would allow him to pursue a more interesting career, if only for a couple of years.

There were still a few things about all of that that needed explaining, though.

               “Alright, then what are you doing here?””

Randall rolled his eyes and shot him a look using the mirror. 

               “You’re twenty minutes closer to the airport than my place, and I’ve got exactly an hour left to get ready and get uptown. You can understand how I didn’t want to waste more time than I needed to on public transportation.”

               “Ah, makes sense-- wait so you walked here?”

               “Don’t be dumb. I got an Uber.”

               “Right.”

They stood in silence after that for a few minutes and Dalton watched him get ready. He supposed he should’ve congratulated him or something, even if the deal wasn’t yet set in stone. After those people talked with Randall he was sure it would be, because strange as he was, there was something charming about how passionate Randall got when talking about his specific fields of knowledge. It was hard to ignore him in those moments, even if one had no idea what he was talking about.

Or maybe he was projecting. Apparently there was a lot about Randall he found endearing that most people didn’t-- his own roommate included.

It occurred to him right then, as Randall was lining his eyes carefully, that the only thing that was really distracting from his intelligence was his choice of clothing. And the people he was meeting were from the United Kingdom. London, to be more precise. He could not go wearing whatever outfit he had planned.

               “Um, yeah, what are you going to wear?”

Randall set the pencil down and moved to his mascara, clicking his tongue in thought. 

               “You know, I don’t really know. I was working that out. I have a few outfits with me… I was thinking the purple slacks and yellow vest. What do you think?”

Dalton cringed and knelt down to sort through the clothing inside the suitcase. 

               “I think you’re trying to look like a bad DC villain.”

Randall snorted and kicked him in the thigh. “Rude.”

Dalton shrugged and pulled out the various items of dress, trying to work out how they’d all look on Randall. He was slim, and small. He’d need something that made him look like he had longer legs, to give the illusion of height.

               “What are you doing?”

Randall crouched down next to him, a smirk on his face that was more curiosity that anything else. Dalton shook his head. It was so hard to pick outfits out for Randall when half the things he owned didn’t match. The best option he had was the teal turtleneck and black jeans, and even that was making Dalton mad. What Randall needed was a dress shirt, something he could tuck in to show off his waist. Something that could go with that obnoxious jacket of his that Dalton already knew he’d insist on wearing. If only they were the same size, because Dalton had more dress shirts than he knew what to do with.

               “Hmmm… actually… Put these on.”

He shoved the jeans and shirt into Randall’s arms before getting up, ignoring the other’s inquiry as to what he was doing. He came back a moment later after digging through his closet, a pale orange (more beige at that point) shirt in hand.

               “Trust me, put this on too. And tuck it in.”

Randall frowned at the shirt but did as he was told, which surprised Dalton a bit, but he didn’t let that show on his face. He was probably only listening because he was in a hurry and didn’t feel like he had time to argue. Once everything was on Dalton handed him the jacket Randall had been eyeing and helped him slip it on.

Randall looked in the mirror and frowned. 

               “This… looks weird.”

Dalton huffed a laugh and crossed his arms. “No, the clothes you normally wear look weird. This just makes you look…”

He trailed off. Something about him just wasn’t done yet. The earrings were fine, the makeup was just subtle enough that he still held that masculine air about him that he knew Randall felt most confident with… and it certainly wasn’t the clothes that were wrong… so it had to be the hair.

Dalton hummed and grabbed for some of his gel. Randall backed up immediately.

               “What do you think you’re doing?”

He sounded nervous, accusatory, and amused all at once and Dalton chuckled. It was funny, how much Randall loved his hair and tried to protect it from people. He was pretty sure if he didn’t have any dignity the guy would’ve been grabbing it like a child would a prized toy.

               “Trust me,” he said as he carefully approached, “you’re meeting with business people about the prospects of an investment. They’re going to be pretentious, well-dressed, and probably a good bit older than you. You need to look as mature as you possibly can.”

Randall actually seemed to consider that, because a few seconds later he nodded slowly and moved back into range. 

               “You make a fair point.”

               “Thank--”

               “I mean, you did get hired by some snobbish people, so you clearly know how to impress the masses. If boring clothes and matted hair is the way to do it… well, you would be the expert.”

Dalton narrowed his eyes. He knew Randall was just poking fun, but why did he insist on doing it when he was trying to actually do something nice for him? He had half the mind to mess up his hair beyond recognition. 

Sadly he didn’t feel like dying yet. Plus Randall was actually going to trust him with styling his hair. That would be a first.

He made sure not to put too much product on his hands as he ran his fingers through the wavy black mop Randall insisted on keep longer than strictly necessary. Randall’s hair was always so soft and pliant in a way that he’d heard Hyacinth coveted, and Dalton was sure he could’ve done anything with it and it would’ve worked. The only difficult part was getting his bangs to stay slicked back-- apparently they grew into his face naturally. He got them too after a few tries though, with the exception of a few wisps that were too short to do much with, and washed his hands off before reviewing his handiwork. 

When he looked up Randall was brushing at his tamed locks and thinned his lips, humming as he appraised the styling job. Dalton opened his mouth to tell him not to mess with it when Randall turned around.

               “It looks… not half bad.” 

Dalton bit his tongue. He wasn’t quite sure how it made him look, but yeah, he could go with not half bad. It was so different from how Randall normally did his hair and it really brought the look together in an unexpected way. He looked nearly refined and almost charming. And with that calm, half pleased expression on his face he looked... oddly ethereal.

Dalton cleared his throat to rid those thoughts and nodded. “Yeah, I’d say you look alright.”

Randall smiled sharply then and went to pull on his socks and black vans (there were only so many areas Dalton could win in the outfit building process).

               “And I have enough time to get there.”

               “Do you want me to take you?” 

Dalton was already grabbing his jacket and pulling his keys out of his pocket. He probably should’ve stayed behind to shower and catch up on filing -it had been a long day at work and he was neck deep in paperwork to push- but that didn’t stop him from opening the front door and going downstairs with Randall.

               “Oh,” he asked as they got into the car, “Where am I taking you?”

               “Um, they said they’d made reservations at Canoe?”

Dalton paused after buckling up and stared openly at him. He was seriously going to get to eat at Canoe? Dalton had been trying to get reservations for over two months. Damn international walking wallets-- of course they’d managed to get into the “sorry, we’re booked out three months” restaurant. Well, he hoped Randall at least took the time to enjoy the food. 

               “What?” Randall threw his arms out and Dalton shook his head.

               “Nothing. Lucky bastard.”

Randall cackled, clearly not understanding what that was for, but coming up with his own reasons to be smug about it nonetheless.

               “Ha! Yes I am.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was past midnight when knocking on the door pulled him out of his reading. Dalton groaned as he got up from the couch, dropping the documents he’d been reviewing on the side table. He’d been expecting Randall to call him when he finished up with the meeting, since he usually avoided public transportation when he knew he could. But then, maybe he’d just been so jittery with excitement that he’d forgotten-- that happened on occasion… granted that was usually followed by him downing five energy drinks and trying to solve fifteen different cases on his own.

When he opened the door Dalton expected to be bombarded with babbling about how the night had gone, but when Randall only brushed past him, making a beeline for the kitchen, his stomach dropped. He’d eaten dinner at the restaurant, which meant he was looking for alcohol. Which means he was either looking to celebrate or drown his sorrows. And he wasn’t saying anything about how it went, so Dalton feared that the reasons tipped more towards the latter.

               “Randall?”

He stepped into the kitchen cautiously when he heard the cupboards slamming shut and glasses being smacked against the granite countertop.

               “Randall?”

*

Randall huffed, uncorking the brandy roughly and pouring even amounts of the amber liquid into each tumbler. He was tempted to fill them both to the brim but felt that would be ridiculous since he actually did hate that particular brand of alcohol. He just needed something warm and apathetic in his system. He’d needed that for the last hour. He couldn’t believe those… those… stuck up, rude, judgemental--

“Razr?”

Randall was pretty sure his neck cracked when he looked up at Dalton. The expression he wore was genuinely concerned, so he decided to not stab him with a fork for using that name. Instead he thrust one of the glasses into Dalton’s hands and headed into the living room.

There was paperwork strewn all over the various tables there and he wondered what Dalton had been up to since he left. Probably nothing interesting. He’d asked before if Dalton ever missed working as a proper lawyer and he’d said when he had to do paperwork like that he did. He didn’t know how lucky he was, that paperwork was his only real complaint. 

Dalton sat a few inches away from him and took a sip from his glass. Randall stared at the liquid inside his for a moment, thinking about what he would tell him about the night. He could’ve lied and told him he got the job, and then maybe, oh, disappear on vacation for a few months. Maybe he could visit Hawaii and throw himself into their highest volcano… or he could just go skydiving and never pull his chute. Both of those options sounded easier than explaining to Dalton that he’d been rejected, that he’d failed at doing the one thing he was so sure his mind was built for… And then he would have to tell Hymn when he got home.

He didn’t think too much before knocking the entire drink back in one go. Dalton blinked in surprise at him and Randall tried not to throw up when it burned his throat. He managed to hold it in, just barely, and passed the glass to Dalton.

               “More.”

It could’ve been an order or a request at that point, he wasn’t even sure what he’d meant it as. Dalton listened either way, disappearing behind the wall to pour him another glass.

Randall waited for the amber courage to sink into his bones and help him relax so that he could tell himself that none of it was as big a deal as it could’ve been, and that it was only a minor setback, that he would have other chances to get his research funded.

It never came, and instead he was left with the words of that damn bitch swimming around in his head. 

               “Miss Lacroix, your mothers would be ashamed. I was led to believe you had more than a ‘working theory’. We cannot waste our finances on a technology that hasn’t even been proven to work. If this is all you have to offer, don’t think of contacting our facilities again. Don’t embarrass yourself.”

He hadn’t been able to place her face until that exact moment, but apparently she’d somehow remembered who he was, fourteen years later. How was he supposed to have known that she was the same Doctor Lindberg from Virginia’s psych clinic? God, that had been beyond uncomfortable. She’d never liked him as a child; he’d made her kids cry on more than one occasion when pointing out that their intellect was inferior to his, and then providing an itemized list to validate the claims. He bet those statements still held true.

But… she wouldn’t fund his project based solely on the fact that nanochemistry wasn’t yet a “sound science”? Who did she think she was? Did she have a degree in chemistry? No. And… Your mothers would be ashamed.

Oh, well fuck her. What did she know? He wasn’t going to touch the whole “miss” thing. He’d dealt with enough rage over that the entire drive back to Dalton’s.

Yeah, he tried to tell himself that tonight was only a minor setback, that he’d be able to get on track again in another week, use this as an opportunity to refine his proposal so that the next benefactor couldn’t find a reason to say no, but somehow he knew that that wouldn’t matter. He’d been rejected by London’s top research facility. He doubted anyone would ever consider his current proposal now, unless they felt like taking a leap of faith. Nevermind the fact that literally every other research out there requesting funding would be getting their grants on faith alone. Apparently life in the light of discovery just wasn’t in the cards for him this year.

Virginia probably would’ve told him to knock that kind of talk off, because it wasn’t constructive, or trying to solve the problem, and it wasn’t helping him, so it wasn’t worth thinking about.

Randall didn’t know what he would’ve said to her at that point. Probably something along the lines of: Fuck you. You abandoned me when I needed you, so you don’t get to tell me what to think and not think. And… and maybe the alcohol was taking affect… just not in the ways he wanted it to.

It just wasn’t fair. 

Why could someone researching the rate of hair growth while taking antidepressants get funding and not him? His contributions could actually make a difference to the world.

But they wouldn’t even give him a chance, and that burned. It lit a fire in his chest. His lungs felt like they were filled with ash, making it hard to breathe, and then his eyes were burning, too.

He tried to blink away the tears that threatened to spill, but that only made them fall onto his lap. He sniffled and wiped at his eyes, feeling accomplished in drying them for half a second until they were filling with salty liquid again.

Dalton came back into the room right then. Of course.

               “Raze are you… oh.”

He just sort of stood there, looking awkward and Randall couldn’t decide if he wanted to yell at him to go away or ask him why the hell he wasn’t coming over. He wanted to be alone but that was also the last thing he wanted. It made his head hurt on top of everything else and he drew in a sharp breath that only made the pressure behind his eyes feel all the more intense. He hated this. Emotions were shit!

He opened his mouth to tell Dalton to figure out what he was going to do and stop just standing there like an idiot, but all that came out was a strangled hiccup. That seemed to have an affect on Dalton still, though. He came over pretty quickly, setting the brandy aside and settling tentatively beside him.

Randall looked down so his hair could shield his face-- the constant running his hands through it had removed it from it’s tame confines some time ago. He really didn’t like crying. It felt like such a useless emotion half the time and a tedious one every other. It was messy and uncoordinated and it made no sense. He wasn’t even sad, he was angry and disappointed. He was never going to get to research in a pristine lab, with brand new tech, and he wasn’t going to make any brand new headlines or win a nobel prize or...

Fuck, okay, maybe he was sad.

               “I take it they didn’t approve your proposal.”

He said it so softly, like he was afraid being any louder was going to turn the soft sobs into full blown wails. It wouldn’t but Randall appreciated the effort, for some reason. 

He shook his head and leaned forward, dropping his forehead against Dalton’s shoulder.

               “They told me not to contact them again.”

The statement came out much thicker than he wanted it to, but Randall was beyond caring at that point; he was already letting Dalton hug him and run his fingers through his hair, so what was one more thing. That did make the ministrations stop for a moment, however.

               “I’m sorry, they said what?” 

Randall nodded, sniffling again so he didn’t get snot on Dalton’s shirt more than he already had. “Th-they didn’t want me “embarrassing” my family name.”

               “Are you fucking kidding me?” 

Based on his voice alone Randall could tell Dalton was livid. That was nice, having somebody else angry on his behalf. Especially since he didn’t even understand the full dig behind the comment. 

               “They called me ‘Miss Lacroix,’ too.”

It wasn’t necessary to share, and in the grand scheme of things, it wasn’t even that big a deal-- he’d been deliberately misgendered so many times in life he couldn’t could on his fingers anymore… but Dalton was mad at someone for something they’d said to him, and tattling was something he’d always been good at. It felt good, having someone who cared as much as Hymn did.

               “Oh, okay, I want names. I am going to raise so much hell.”

Randall snorted in spite of the situation and shook his head, sitting up while wiping his eyes until they were sort of dry. 

               “Don’t bother, that would only make me look worse.”

Dalton looked like he wanted to protest that, as if he was actually serious about calling someone and chewing them out over the phone. The mental image of that made Randall want to smile. He couldn’t quite manage that yet, though, because when he tried it only made more tears leak from the corners of his eyes.

He glanced up and Dalton was staring openly at him and Randall wanted to run back to his Uber driver so he could go to Hymn. He hated crying in front of other people, looking so unattractive and pathetic, and Hymn understood that. She always just gave him a warm blanket, tea, and a kiss on the head before disappearing into another room. She didn’t stare at him like Dalton.

Why did he have to stare? Was it that interesting, seeing someone cry? Or was it just him? Randall knew he didn’t emote enough, but…

               “I’m really sorry, Razr.”

He swallowed hard when Dalton used his thumb to brush off the wet spots on his cheeks. He didn’t often call him Razr, only when he was being extremely serious about something, or doing that thing where he got weirdly intimate at inappropriate times. This at least didn’t feel like that intimacy thing, which was good, because Randall didn’t think he’d be able to balance that on top of everything else beating down his psyche right now.

He shrugged after a moment, tugging at the hems of his sleeves to avoid looking at Dalton’s sincerely empathetic expression. 

               “It…” He muttered, “It is what it is. Right?”

Randall glanced up to see Dalton’s mouth curving down. “That’s such a bullshit saying.”

He sniffled and shrugged again. He’d never really cared about the saying either way. It just came to him because of course he was thinking about Virginia and of course she’d said “bullshit” things like that.

He didn’t protest or fight when Dalton wrapped an arm around him again, nor did he have issue with the soothing circles he rubbed into his back. Randall blinked the last of the moisture out of his eyes then and leaned into the touch, feeling suddenly heavy now that he’d gotten all of that out. He was still upset, and he knew he would be later too, when he wasn’t exhausted from emoting, but for the moment, he could be alright. Especially since Dalton was there, but he wasn’t bugging him to talk, nor was he even really acknowledging his existence outside of the comforting touch he offered. In fact, he’d gone back to looking over his paperwork.

Randall signed and let himself get distracted by watching Dalton. He made a mental note to do something special to him later as payment for letting him vent, but for now, he could content himself with the quiet sounds of shifting paper and warm air being blown in from the vents, and his own sniffles.

[rickrakontoys]

Star Wars - The Last Jedi

A wierd, different, unexpected, uneven, but ultimately satisfying episode in the franchise.

****SPOILERS**** this is going to be looooong….

The Good - The filmmakers took a lot of chances and risks here and I am happy that they did. They showed us new things that we’ve never seen before, and presented a plot that subverts your expectations to lead the characters to new journeys and arcs. - Luke was terrific as a dejected former jedi master who’s past failure led him to exile. Some fans may have wanted him to remain some kind of power fantasy character who just uses the Force to… blow Star Destroyers up or some shit, but here he plays a believable interpretation of a teacher who failed his students and is suffering from deep regrets. He came to that isolated island “to die” as he says, but his arc here follows the theme of “learning to pick yourself up even in the face of terrible failure". Despite being an old curmudgeon now, he is still recognizably Luke Skywalker. Mark Hamill gives his best performance here. And his final “battle” at the end is badass, surprising and clever, not to mention showing us a new use of The Force (which in my mind totally makes some sense). If the dead can project their image through the force, why can’t a living jedi? That Luke acts quite dramatic when facing Kylo Ren as a “hologram” is just funny. Luke’s journey ended in ROTJ. Here he plays one final part in the story of this galaxy. “See you around kid” he says to Kylo. Perhaps he is saying it to us as well. - Leia has a lot of unexpected scenes here… namely, her use of the Force to save herself from what would have been a deadly experience! This felt at first like it came out of nowhere, but Leia has previously shown to possess some strong connection to the Force. Her character is out of commission for a chunk of the movie, but Carrie Fisher does give a very subtle and poignant performance here. How they will reconcile Fisher’s passing for Episode 9 will remain to be seen… - Rey and Kylo’s journeys here compliment each other and are amazing. You honestly don’t know how things will turn out, since they tease both of them being pulled away from their respective sides of the Force often here. Their direct connection to each other through the Force was new, and gave us some very interesting scenes where they talk and interact despite being worlds apart. Kylo gets much more development here, and does some rather unexpected things. He is both sympathetic, and detestable. He is still very much a tortured young man lashing out at the galaxy. Rey mostly plays the role of the student in search of a teacher. She goes looking for Luke, finds him, but he ain’t having it at all, and just lets her hang around for a bit to her disappointment. She eventually takes her own initiative and sort of earns Luke’s respect for it. - We perhaps learn who Rey’s parents are, and it was as I wished: they are nobodies who sold her off as a kid then died in a shallow grave on Jakku. I would have HATED if they were somehow someone we already knew… Rey’s importance isn’t through blood but through her own initiative. She even admits to knowing all along but being afraid to admit it. Daisy Ridley is still fantastic as Rey. I like her even more than before! Kylo can satisfy the Skywalker bloodline requirement of the series in this new trilogy. Let someone else be the hero for a change. - Kylo just straight up murders that silly CGI Supreme Leader Snoke and I love it. Snoke was just Palpatine-lite, and Kylo is clearly the more interesting villain the new series should focus on. Who cares who Snoke was… nobody really cared who Palpatine was in ROTJ… he too was just an evil overlord who gets killed by his apprentice (until Lucas devoted 3 movies to him…). This feels like Rain Johnson cleaning up after JJ Abrams. Snoke was silly and I’m glad he dies unclimactically after only 2 movies. - Poe is a lot more hot-headed here than in the first movie, though we didnt really spend much time with him in TFA. He gets an arc here too though, which also fits in with the themes of the film. His actions get a ton of people killed and essentially cripples the Resistance, but he learns from his mistakes eventually and becomes a better leader for it. - The general theme of the movie being moving past one’s failures is interesting here since it let the filmmakers subvert so many tropes. Most of the plans the Resistence people enact all lead to disaster. In fact, their desperate flight from impending doom through the entire movie felt quite harrowing. Unlike ESB where the rebels successfully escape Hoth to live and fight another day with minimal losses, the Resistance here is absolutely wrecked and continue to be destroyed through the entire runtime. How they will recover from this remains to be seen, and we now know nothing about where this story will go in Episode 9 because of how screwed they are by the end… Meanwhile the First Order suffers from their own failures, but appear too smug about themselves to see their own hubris. They could have easily wiped the Resistance out, but choose to slowly chase them, as if to let the rebels witness the loss of all hope. It doesn’t exactly backfire, but instead renews the rebels fire to fight back. - There is a lot about the Force here that evolves the Star Wars mythos a bit. From the old Jedi texts, to Luke admitting that the Jedi doomed themselves long ago in the prequels, we see Star Wars moving past Jedi and Sith and becoming something different. I’m glad they didnt rely so heavily on what only was shown before with respect to the capabilities of a Force user or the nature of the Force in general. People may not like this, but the change is welcome. Also… YODA!!!! Slightly crazed puppet Yoda!!! He’s still teaching Luke new things. Wished ghost Obi-wan also appeared somehow… but that may be going too far. - The battles and duels in this movie were spectacular. The lightsaber fight in Snoke’s throne room? One of the best fights in the series… it was exciting and realistically choreographed, flashy without being excessive (like the prequels). A good balance between the fights in the OT and prequels. Seeing Rey and Kylo battling Snoke’s guards in a long take, shot clearly with the static angle… magnificent. Plus we get to see Kylo at full strength as opposed to crippled in TFA. He takes on multiple enemies at once, while Rey struggles with one guard. - The cinematography here is in general quite lovely. Rian Johnson loves his wide shots, and fills them with a beauty not often seen in these movies. There are some gorgeous shots here… from Holdo’s weaponized Hyperspace maneuver, to Luke’s standoff against the AT-ATs, and his final scene looking to the twin sunset that recalls the similar shot on Tatooine long ago… the use of color throughout makes for a very pretty movie. - We get flashback scenes here oddly enough… which we never got in other episode films. Plus, Rian wasnt afraid to venture into other types of shots and scenes, like a minor use of slow motion. They let the filmmmakers inject their own style into the movie. - The porgs were thankfully not too obtrusive. They are just sorta there to annoy Chewie. Chewie roasting some for dinner while they watch horrified was great and rather morbid. - Seeing Luke on the Falcon again, and his scene with R2… very poignant, and melancholy. They somehow manage to use Leia’s old message to Obi Wan to further Luke’s character development. - The battle on the salt planet Crait was neat. They make you think there will be some Hoth style battle against the AT-ATs, but its ultimately subverted by having the Resistance not even have a remote chance at all of doing any damage due to their lack of useful weapons. Finn tries the heroic sacrifice but… eh… Rose saves him and ends up letting the First Order blast a hole in the base. The hopelessness is really driven far here. - It took until the ending for me to realize Poe never was introduced to Rey ever. Also, did Rey steal the Jedi texts from that tree Luke planned on torching? You see some books in a drawer that Finn takes a blanket out of on the Falcon. Perhaps Rey will use them to help revive the Jedi order? - The last scene of the movie was an odd one to close out on… some orphans talking about Luke Skywalker like some legendary hero… then one of them uses the force to grab a broom? The Force is alive in others! Hope always survives! A bit on the nose but it makes you contemplate the future beyond the current heroes. The Bad…. - Finn and Rose’s entire subplot was superfulous and kind of terrible… I could see how it ties into the theme of the movie (hatching a clever plan to fight the First Order that ultimately fails spectacularly, but they keep fighting anyways), but that didnt stop it from being rather dull. Canto Blight felt out of place… like you were watching Harry Potter or the Hunger Games. And the whole animal horse chase thing fell kinda flat… - Benicio del Toro is in this… he plays some wierdo hacker (slicer?) with a stutter. He ultimately amounts to very little. He’s played convincingly, but only added to the superfulousness of Finn and Rose’s subplot… - In fact… that whole subplot was what damaged this movie severely. It is clearly the weakest part of an otherwise interesting film. How they come up with the plan to infiltrate the First Order ship to disable their hyperspace tracking device thing felt halfbaked. Finn and Rose spout some technobabble that feels straight out of Star Trek, then decide to gungho this odd mission. They threw Maz Kanata in there for a moment for no reason… why would Finn and Poe ask her for help? Finn barely met her. Does Poe even know her at all? All of this coulda been avoided if Vice Admiral Holdo just told Poe about her and Leia’s secret plan at the start! - Rose is gonna be divisive…. she feels like a fan stand-in character. She fangirls over Finn, goes on an adventure with him, and is suddenly in love with him? Sure I guess… i suppose i could buy that, considering she was previously some unseen common worker for the Resistance meeting a “celebrity”. Finn didnt seem to react much to her kiss though. His heart seems out for Rey. - Rey just casually dropping herself off at Snoke’s ship felt a wee bit too convenient… then after the battle in the throne room she just… appears back on the Falcon. Jarring, despite the attempt to explain it. - Phasma is used so little i wonder why they bothered making her a unique character at all… to sell toys? She gets a badass fight where she dominates Finn, but then seemingly dies in a fiery pit. Maybe they will make it a running gag that she keeps coming back? I hope she survived and returns later anyways. We get to see Gwendolyn Christie’s… eye. Yay? - The music here plays off established themes from the OT and TFA, which is fine, but otherwise there really isnt anything new here. Rose gets a new leitmotif at least. They use Palpatine’s theme during some Snoke scenes too, but is it meant to suggest they are related? - Honestly, the middle of the film just drags too long, and its all due to the Finn and Rose scenes. I get they needed to have Finn do something, but was that Canto Blight stuff necessary? That they just fly off somewhere then return to the fleet chase later kinda trivialized the whole scenario. They also introduce an idea that weapons manufacturers are profitting off the perpetual war between empire and rebellion. Neat, but they don’t really explore it further… feels like that belongs in a different movie… - The beginning of the movie focused a lot on Rose’s sister despite us not knowing much about her. Just kinda an odd choice? Those rebel bombers that just drop bombs on top of the dreadnught are also kinda dumb… most of the rebel fighter craft are decimated right off the bat. Summary: It may take more viewings to see where this truly stands qualitywise in the series. The Force Awakens definitely flowed better and had better pacing, but this one was more inventive and introduced us to newer concepts and was less predictable. Apart from the weak Canto Blight subplot and some other plot goofery, the film works. For now, I think it can give it an 8.5/10.0. I respect the hell out of them for doing some ballsy things that they know will rile part of the fanbase. Franchise rankings (out of 10): ESB & ANH 9.0 (fresh and with a truly lasting legacy) TLJ 8.5 (for evolving the franchise) RotJ 8.25 (a good close to the OT but imperfect) TFA 8.0 (overly familiar beats but still fun) ROTS 7.0 (flawed but sort of gives more weight to what happens in ROTJ) Rogue One 6.5 (very flawed, kind of a mess) TPM & AOTC 5.0 (some parts of it i like, the rest is nonsensical or dull) People seem to forget how different ESB was from ANH. This is the case here compared to TFA. I think its neat how each trilogy has its own unique feel and energy. I only hope JJ Abrams grows beyond his shortcomings in Ep. 9 and gives us something also unique and fresh.

[backseat-imagines]

The recent imagine is amazing,but I'm not a big fan of angst..If u have time,could you make the fluff version of the imagine?

Dear anon, I said I would be back with a lighter-hearted version of this post, and I always try to stick to my word so here it is!(Forgive me or any mistakes, there are bound to be more than usual with the dizziness still kicking in off and on. Also his will be under a readmore because this is getting really long)

  It had been months since Noctis had seen them. And in this whole time there wasn’t even a faint whisper of their name being carried in the wind; not anywhere in Leide, or Accordo, and certainly not in Duscae either.  Until today.  Noctis gazed out deep into the horizon. The fog of the afternoon blanketing over and covering the scenery of the distant forests. A chilled but gentle wind kissed over his skin.  For the first time in what seemed to be forever, the world was quiet.  It had been a while since he had a moment alone to himself like this, where he could savor the quiet of town. It allows him to think- about home, about his father, his duty, Luna… and thoughts of them momentarily slip into his head.  Where did they go? Whatever became of them? Were they gone too- No, that’s not a thought he wanted to entertain.  Noctis closed his eyes. If he closed them hard enough, he could swear he heard their voice- “Noctis?”- In fact it sounded so much like they were behind him, even now… “Noctis, you’re not paying attention are you?”  Noctis’s eyes jolted open when he felt a tap at his shoulder- and in that moment he knew that this wasn’t just wishful thinking. “It’s you!” he says with excitement in his voice as he turns to face them.   Part of him wants to reach out for them and hug them, to hold them in his arms like he had before. But it’s been so long, and after the last time they probably don’t view him the same any more. Even if he’s back to being on good grounds with them since he’s found out the reason, the feeling likely wasn’t completely mutual. For now, all that matter was they were right here in his presence.  They’re tired and worn, with heavy bags under their eyes. Skin dry; cracking and splitting on their hands. Dirt spackled over them. It’s clear to Noctis that they had been stuck traveling on foot- even though they were clearly exhausted, they still seemed to hold their head up higher than before. But now wasn’t the time to bring their appearance into anything. “Speak of the devil, I was just thinking about you.”  They cocked a brow, “Nothing too bad, I hope.”  “Ah- no.” He nervously scratches at the back of his neck, “Not at all actually.”  “Good, because after our last meeting I figured opinions might not exactly be the highest.” They let out a light chuckle. “Speaking of which, you’re taking me being here a lot differently than I expected.”  “Well, if I didn’t know the why’s, I might not have been taking it so well.”  “Oh… you heard huh?”  “Well you didn’t tell me, so I had to figure it out somehow. I just wish you would have told me about that before.” The tone of Noctis’s voice sounds disappointed, almost chastising in a way. Their head tilted down; it stung.  “Yeah about that… I’m sorry I didn’t before. But at least I’m here to give the news now.”  “News?” Noctis inquired. As if his focus wasn’t on them already, his stare was now fixed and attentive; he was eager to hear, “ Is it about the Empire? What about your friends?”  “Maybe things didn’t end up the prettiest as it can get…” They began, “but at least it’s resolved in some way. Meaning that unfortunately now they might be after my head but I’m yours again if you’d have me.”  Noctis begins to nod at them. A small smile forming on his lips as the last handful of words leave their mouth.  “Alright. I might have to have a talk with the rest of the guys, but I’m willing to put my trust in you once more.”  “Good, I was hoping you’d let me back in because I have even more news for you.”  And his very first thought was an ‘uh-oh’. This time he started to brace himself, because he’s so used to bad news following up the good. “Oh?”  They took a sharp inhale of air through their nose and slowly exhale, briefly covering their face with their hands and only lowering them when they finally went to speak. “Yeah, you might just have an heir coming your way.”  Noctis’s eyes went wide with shock. “Wait? What… do you mean? Heir…?” This was a joke right? He started to nervously laugh it off but the way they looked at him… he knew they were serious. “But when?”  “Well unless the Astrals decided to come down and pull some funny business, I’d say it was probably that only night when we had snuck out of camp.”  “Yeah but-”  “Noct,” they placed a hand on their hip, “If this is a problem, I can handle it on my own.”  “Ah- no, no that’s not what I was trying to get at!” He stumbles and stammers over what to say. Almost embarrassed by his reaction and poor choice of wording- he feels like he put himself into a corner. But he relaxes as soon as they tell him it was fine, they were just trying to give him a hard time, “I’m… It’s not easy news to swallow but, I’m happy? I’m nervous too but-  “I guess I’ll have to find a safe place for you; maybe you and Gladio’s sister can look after each other over in Cape Caem for a little while. Unless you already have a safe place planned?”  “Nah, no place exactly.” They say, shaking their head, “Sounds fine with me. I could use a quiet place to settle for awhile anyways. But what about you?”  “Me? I’ll still have to keep fighting on. But when this is all over, I promise we’ll come back.”  “We’ll be waiting. But until then, or at least until you have to leave,” They extend out their hand, waiting for him to take it, “Why don’t we take a walk?”

———–

  It’s in the late of night and Ignis is laying on a hotel bed; under the sheets and starting to drift to sleep.  The bed’s not like anything he had back at home, it’s not as nice or as firm, the blankets not as light or soft. But it’s a bed, and it’s doing it’s job just fine.  The door cracks in a little, letting the light from the hall peek in. He barely opens his eyes and notices a shadow moving on the wall. He thinks perhaps it’s one of the other guys in the group and he’s expecting any moment now for one of them to start talking. But they don’t.  Instead there’s a sudden sinking in the mattress in the bed beside him. And cool arms, that are in desperate need of a warming, slither around him.  Ignis smirks, “You’re late.”  That was one line they were getting all too used to and they scoffed. “You always tell me that anymore.”  “Perhaps. But you also did come late into the night.”  “As I always do for you.” They laugh once he gives them an ‘I’ll ignore you said that’.  “But I’m sorry. I’m being worked to the bone.”  “I know you are. And hopefully we can resolve this soon. For you and all the others.”  There was a few minutes of silence, where the only that could be heard was light breathing. Ignis felt himself in the middle of dozing off again right as they spoke up again. “And the three of us.”  “The three? Who would be the third?” He said, groggily.  “I was hoping for a better time to tell you, but I guess I may be a little gungho about it.  “You remember when I had been complaining about feeling sick all those days recently right?”  “Yes, I do. I remember you also puking down my front as well.” He snarkily mused.  “Ah… I’m still sorry- but about that. Turns out it was morning sickness.”  “Morning sick-” Ignis was quickly jarred out of his sleepy haze and as he slipped from their arms he sat up, almost literally throwing the covers off of himself and turned on the lamp that sat on the bedside table, “Then you are?” He paused, thinking to himself momentarily. “Then we can no longer have you play the part of the mole for us.”  “Why not?” Quickly sitting back up, they snapped at him; not bothering to keep hushed and not caring if they disturbed anyone. Ignis shushed them. “Ignis I’m so close now!”  “Close? Do you mean-”  “Ignis just give me a short bit longer! I have some other insiders who have been willing to help me, ones who have a very similar situation to me! It won’t be too much longer before we can cut loose and get everyone out. And we can help you and the rest of the guys tear through around then too!” Ignis watched how the longer they went on the more hopeful and joyous they looked. And even he had to admit that it was contagious. Even so, this was no matter to take with a simple grain of salt- this was becoming more risky. But they already knew the risks and the caution that they would have to move with. So when they finally began to plead with him- “Please! Just give us a little more time Iggy Please?”- He couldn’t help but to crack.  “If you’re that close and you have faith this all can be done… then who am I to say otherwise? When’s the soonest do you think this plan can be put into motion?”  “Likely any time after you all rendezvous with Lady Lunafreya next. After that, all you have to do is give the word and we’ll start!” They beamed.  “And will the Empire hold off from the others until then?” He asks.  “I’ll make them.”  “Then let us not focus any longer on such grim subjects and focus on the moment now.” Ignis patted the bed. “You look tired, why don’t you remain for the night and join me in rest?”

——-

  It’s over in Old Lestallum where they all decide to take a break for the day. Much of them are tired and need the day to stretch out, lest they go too stir crazy in the cramped car.  Gladiolus takes it upon himself to scout out any information. It doesn’t matter if it’s world news, monster sightings, or just anything at all.. He just wants to know what’s going on in the world around him.  It’s as Gladio is looking around town that finds the glimmering of a trinket in a shop window that catches his eyes. Normally he pays no mind to what’s in shops (not unless it’s it looks like something Iris would want), but this time? It reminds him so much of them- after all it’s their style.  And then he gets to thinking… How long has it really been? Months? And still after all this time they’re fresh on his mind. Hell, they always are. Though he’s never admitted it, that’s been an extra reason why he seems to search the towns so hard anymore. They seemingly disappeared off of the face of Eos which was god damn concerning. And he’d hate to leave things off the way they were from the last time they even shared a room… But no word was still better than bad news- there was always at least some kind of hope, even if just a sliver of it.  Gladio finds himself going into the shop. He reaches for the trinket and gets it, serving as a reminder to himself, but at the same time if he ever did see them again then he can at least use it as a way of saying he’s sorry.  It’s when Gladio steps out the door to the shop that he sees them, or at least he thinks he does. He’s sure he did. So much of the features, from the ones he could make out, made it sure look like-  Without another thought he runs off after them.  Maybe it’s not them. Maybe his eyes played a trick on him. But if he doesn’t find out now it will forever eat at him.  Gladio gets closer and closer, almost in arm’s reach now, and his hearts starting to race. He calls out their name and finally extends out his hand, grabbing them by the shoulder and coming to a quick halt as he turns them around.  “Would you look at that, It’s really you.” He gawks at the sight. Somehow looking at them feels more like a dream than a reality. After all this time and their meeting is merely by chance, and that almost didn’t set right. “Just where have you been…” Gladio’s sentence trails off when he looks downwards. And in their arms he sees a infant swaddled in a light colored cloth. The gears are already turning in his head- this couldn’t be from after they left. Was that-  The sudden sound of their voice snapped him from thoughts, “Wait, you were actually looking for me?”  “I wouldn’t be here right now if I wasn’t.”  “You were looking for me… and you aren’t trying to murder me?” They say in disbelief, “I must be dreaming or something.”  “A pretty good dream if it has me in it I’d say.”  “I don’t know, I’m sure there’s been a fair share of nightmares… But we should head back someplace better. Follow me.” Still careful but in charge of the situation; that’s one thing he’s always liked about them.  Gladio had no arguments; he just nods and follows them. Their home was small and quaint. Not in the best shape by any means, but it had to do. They ushered him to the living-room couch as they went to the other room, and came back out without the infant in hand. Must be the child’s room, he thought.  They sauntered in front of him, taking a seat in the chair across from “So what really brings you here? I know it wasn’t just for me.”  “Maybe not initially. But it is now.”  “How sweet.” His former partner rolled their eyes. “But really, why are you here?”  Gladio slowly reaches down into his pockets. His fingertips graze over the metal of the object he had just minutes ago tucked safely away, clasping around it. “I wanted to give you this.” He says, as he extends his hand out, leaning forward just enough for them to close the rest of the distance and allow him to drop it into their hand. He leaned back, and watched them to see if he earned any kind of approval.  They cocked a half-smirk and chuckled as the trinket was gently dropped into their hands. They liked it for sure, after all they had been eyeing this for the last week or so; ever since it came in. “You never were one to give things like this, so this is a pleasant surprise. Thank you Gladio.”  “Consider it as just a small piece of my apology.” He tells them.  “For what? If you’re talking about the last time, then consider it something of the past now since you’re not here to kill me- or just kick my ass down the street.”  Gladio let out a hearty chuckle.  “I can’t bring myself to do that. Not now, since I know. Speaking of which how did that all turn out? Did they let you go?”  “Yes… just not willingly. Freeing prisoners, hostages and framing others in the empire, including a higher up, doesn’t come at a free price. At least not when they find out the truth.”   For minutes they went silent. Searching their memories and recalling everything that had happened along the way. They could remember how hard their heart beated each day. How long walks or drives became when paranoia flared and they wanted to make sure no one was following. Even if no one had known of their plans, back then they felt like at any moment someone could have been watching. Those times was one founded on fear. “I was lucky enough to get out after horrendously putting a fork in the gears and taking back everything I needed to. All before they could catch me… But showing my face is playing a dangerous game now.”  “We’ll fix that for you.”  “Yeah? Too bad I can’t be apart of that myself. At least not anymore.”  “You mean since you’ve had your child-”  “Our child, yes.” They interrupted. “Can’t exactly leave my responsibility behind to go fight.”  “You sure? Be like the warriors of old?” Gladio chuckled.  “Nah they already did that and had that experience. Traditional just… isn’t for me.” Although they didn’t laugh, they still cracked a smile over his joke. God did he miss being able to get them to do that…  “Anyways, don’t you have the guys to go back to?”  “I don’t have to be there right away.” Gladio said. “Besides, I’d kind of like to catch up. If you want to that is?”  “I suppose that couldn’t hurt. Why not spend the night?”  “Spend the night huh? This isn’t a ploy to share a bed with me again?”  “Gladiolus…” They huffed, clearly unamused, “Only in your dreams, lover boy. I might be letting you into my house but I’m not trusting you so far as to let you sleep beside me… or with me. At least not right now, so you can get used to the couch.”

———

  After the last confrontation, Prompto managed to get his love to stay. At least for the time being.  Every now and then they made hushed whisperings of plans to him. Ones where they would have to leave; Prompto would be the first to admit that he didn’t like this. But maybe they were right, maybe that would be for the best?  But the thought of that scares him.  They carry the weight of the burden on their own two shoulders and he feels like he can’t do much to help them; even though they assure him that he’s doing the best by keeping them safe. The hope doesn’t glimmer in their eyes as much as it used to, and they offer him words like “it’s okay” and “everything will be fine” and those are the words he wants to tell to them instead. Especially now since sickness began to kick in on top of it.  The moon sets high in the sky. His partner had quickly exited the tent, waking him up with movement as they had fumbled to crawl through and leaving him to chase off after them,  Prompto picked up and held back some hair to keep it out of their face as they bent over by a nearby tree and started to puke up dinner from earlier.  “Sheesh, are you alright? You’ve been doing this a lot lately and I mean a lot.” Prompto said as he soothingly rubbed and patted over their back.  “Yeah, I’m sure it’s just some sort of bug. Used to get’em a lot so I know I can deal.”  “You sure?”  “I mean, there’s worse going on. Like right now.” Words as grim reminders, and Prompto winces over what they said. “I think I can manage. But now that I’m out here, and I got you all to myself; I need to have a talk with you.”  Internally, Prompto is cringing. He’s always hated “we need to talk” or any variation of that sentence. But especially now. He knows what this is going to be about.  “Prompto, I think I am going to go ahead and leave soon.” That was exactly what he thought this was going to be about.  “But why?” He asks.  “Prompto I have to. I have family I’d like for you to meet in the future, but I can only do that if I get them back first.”  “But should you really? You’re sick.”  They sigh. They knew Prompto meant well, and his heart was in a good place. But it felt as if he was missing the picture. “Please, I’ll manage. Besides it will be better if I do this now ahead of time, while I still have the chance. At least if I go back, I can try to direct them away from you all. Even if that works only just one time it will be worth it.”  He still frowns and fidgets nervously.  Prompto’s heart it sinking and he still wants to object to all of this. But he knows he won’t sway their determination…   Even the astrals with their eyes closed could see how distraught and frightful he was…  They closed the space between themselves and Prompto, gently cupping his face into their hands and pulling him in close, pressing their forehead to his.  “It will only be a little while Prompto. I promise. I’ll be back.”  “But can’t you stay? Just one more day?”  “Alright, but no more than that.”

******  Every single day after that Prompto worried and waited. Always gazing off into the horizon and waiting to see them walking over the hills or around the building corners. Time went on and on, and on.  As much as Prompto tried to hold faith in them and hold his head up high, he could still feel hope slowly slipping from his fingers. But the day that Ignis walked back into the hotel saying “I do believe someone wants to see you” was the happiest he had been in years- they were back.  Despite the new marks and the new scars that came to tell their tale, Prompto was just excited for their return “home”.  “You’re back!” Prompto nearly shrieked, running full force at them. He pulls them into a tight hug. “What happened? Is everything okay now? Tell me everything!”  Pulling away, the two of them move to the end of the hotel bed to sit down. And as they recounted everything to Prompto, he was happily nodding away. God he missed them; the sound of their voice, their gestures, the creases and wrinkles that would appear on their face as they talked or smiled.  “One last thing though.”  “Yeah?”  “This might end up seeming overwhelming, but we may just be on the nest.” They say happily.  “On the nest? Wait- you don’t mean? You mean- and you did all that while? Is it okay?” Immediately Prompto brings his concern down to their belly, bending down and meeting it eye to eye, so to speak, patting and rubbing his hands over it. “Ahh- what are we going to do though? I can’t have you getting into danger when you’re like this!”  “We’ll find something out Prompto. But why don’t we focus on what we have right now and think about the rest later?”