#hes such an interesting guy to me. why did you go full furry this season. im not complaining in the slightest this is incredible

[im-still-a-robot]

Xisumawoof 👍

[lucemferto]

WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT PH1LZA (or Why Philza is a Victim of Narrative Circumstance)

Heyo! Per request I am posting the script to my video of the same name here on tumblr. I must warn you that just reading the script will probably not give you the full experience, so I would encourage you to watch the video (linked above).

There might also still be a lot of grammatical errors in the text, because I don’t proofread.

Intro

LAST TIME ON LUCEM FERTO

Okay, so! I don’t want this to turn into a reaction channel OR a Dream SMP channel for that matter! [echo]

Well, I lied.

[Intro to “Luc is pretentious about the funny blockmen. Episode 2”]

I swear, I’m working on other stuff. It’s just that my dumb lizard brain has only capacity for one interest at a time!

So, something you might not know about me, is that I am on tumblr – who am I kidding, most of you will know me from tumblr. Before starting this whole YouTube thing, I thought that website died years ago – but as per usual reality proves me wrong. I’m also on Twitter and Reddit, but I get the most engagement on tumblr – by far! – and I need those sweet, sweet numbers for the serotonin!

Anyways, one of my favourite past-times on tumblr is to razz Philza Hardcore Minecraft – that’s his full name – for being a frankly awful father [clicking away] – wait, wait, no! Philza fans, this isn’t a hit piece on him, I promise! Please come back!

This is video is meant to be a companion piece to my previous video about Technoblade and the Doomsday event – you can tell by the shared nomenclature – so you should probably watch that one before you proceed. Unless you don’t want to, which is also perfectly understandable.

DISCLAIMER: This video is mostly about the character Philza plays on the Dream SMP. Whenever I talk about the content creator Philza, I will say so properly. Also, Spoiler Warning for Dream SMP Season 2.

… What is that? You’re wondering what the Dream SMP is? Well, if you had just watched the other video like I told you to do, you would know, because I explained it pretty well there. But in case you don’t know, here’s the cliff notes.

Dream SMP is the hottest New Media Series on Twitch right now! It has it all: gaslighting, child soldiers, Machiavellian political intrigue, Hamilton roleplay, desecration of the dead, shounen protagonists, SO! MUCH! AMNESIA! Filicide, furries, a red egg that’s definitely homophobic and teenagers inventing nuclear warfare. And it’s all done in Minecraft – yes, the funny block game where the only way to emote is to crouch.

And you say the perfect brief doesn’t exist!

Now, you might be wondering, why do I want to talk about this? Well, it’s because Content Creator Philza is one of least controversial internet personalities that I can think of. That man exudes pure comfort. So, it’s just very, very amusing to me that his character became one of the most controversial figures on the SMP, only outshone by Tommy and Technoblade.

And it’s not just amusing, it’s also extremely interesting! I want to dig deep to uncover and discuss the dynamics behind why that is. How did it come to this point? How did a man who appears genuinely so pleasant create a character that inspires so much discourse!

Now, if you watched that Technoblade video – like I told you to twice now! – you might know, that I am the resident character analyses hater of fandom! And that impression is false and slanderous! Don’t tell other people that I hate character analyses! I love them!

It’s just that, in the Dream SMP in particular, there is an abundance of character analyses! Every streamer has at least two very good essays written about them, exploring every possible angle to view their characters and backgrounds and everything. All I’m saying is: I don’t have anything to add on that front.

So, instead I want to pursue a different approach – something, that I feel is a bit underrepresented in the fandom! And I’m not just talking narrative analysis – that’s right, this episode we’re going even more pretentious! – I’m talking Transtextual Analysis!

Now, what is Transtextuality? Well, unfortunately it has very little to do with actual Trans people – #transrights, just in case that wasn’t obvious – but instead describes a mode of analysis with which to put – to quote French literary theorist Gérard Genette – “the text in a relationship, whether obvious or concealed, with other texts”.

Basically, you know how the L’Manburg War of Independence heavily quotes and borrows from the hit musical Hamilton? That’s transtextuality! A lot of the analyses surrounding how Tommy mirrors the Greek hero Theseus, who was invoked by Technoblade multiple times in the series, are already doing transtextual analysis! So, it’s really not something that’s new to the Dream SMP fandom.

But how does this apply to Philza and how he is looked at and judged by his parental skills? Well, there are multiple forms of transtextuality, two of which we will discuss today.

But before we continue, I gotta do that annoying YouTuber thing. I know these videos don’t look like much, but I spend a really long time making them. I work fulltime and I try my best to keep up, but sometimes I can’t. So please, like, subscribe, comment to give me some algorithm juice – I really need it – and most importantly share it! Share it with your friends, share it with your family – I’m sure Grandma is very interested in what I have to say about Philza Minecraft.

And I’m trying to be better! If I sound at all different for this video, it’s because I finally bought a new pop filter, so I can hit my plosives without it sounding like there’s a thunderstorm in my room. I hope it makes a difference; it was a very cheap pop filter, so maybe it doesn’t. Maybe it sounds worse – that would be bad!

What was I talking about? Oh yeah, CHILD NEGLEGT!

 Intertextuality: Why is Dadza?

You know what’s really interesting about the Dream SMP – aside from, you know, most things about it? Very few of the characters have concrete, fleshed-out backstories – and that’s pretty weird! In no other medium or genre could you get away with something like that – at least for long-form storytelling!

So, how does Dream SMP get away with this? Well, it’s because every character on the Dream SMP is basically a self-insert – and I don’t mean that in the “This character is based on me”-kinda way, but in the “This character, for all intents and purposes, is me!”-way. This, like many things that are fascinating about the Dream SMP, is owed to the fact that this series didn’t start off as a continuous drama – it started off as a Let’s Play.

And while we can talk about how someone’s on-camera/on-mic persona is in some ways a character, it’s still miles off of being an actual, fully-realized, separate character in a storyline.

This is where Intertextuality comes in.

Intertextuality is a subset of Transtextuality. It describes how the hypertext, which is the text, you’re currently engaged with, uses another text, the hypotext, to supplement itself. The interconnection the hypertext establishes with the hypotext, through stuff like allusion for example, uh-hum [Hamilton], can colour how an audience interprets the hypertext. Basically, Hamilton and Theseus are the hypotexts; the Dream SMP is the hypertext.

So, what does this have to do with backstory? Simple: The backstories of the characters in the Dream SMP consist basically of nothing but intertextual references. Through intertextuality their content effectively substitutes their character’s backstory.

You can see it everywhere. Wilbur’s and Schlatt’s relationship and rivalry is hugely enriched, if you are aware of their shared history like SMPLive, for example – I think anyway. I haven’t watched SMPLive, because … there’s only so many hours in the day and I cannot keep up with the Dream SMP and catch up on SMPLive and live a healthy life – which I already don’t do, so…

BadBoyHalo’s and Skeppy’s relationship, which has become the crux of the Crimson-Storyline of Seasons 2 and 3, is hugely supplemented if you know that they’re also very close as streamers and in real life.

Another great example of intertextuality is basically Technoblade’s entire deal. If you just look at him completely within the text of the Dream SMP and try to transplant his entrance to any other medium: It would be extremely weird! Like, he’s just this guy that comes in in the middle of a very climatic arc, no build-up, no explanation what his deal is, and he’s treated like he has always been there. In any other medium that just wouldn’t work – at least not without a flashback or some sort of exposition!

But because of stuff like Minecraft Mondays, the Potato Wars, his Duel against Dream and SMPEarth, we understand that he is a Big Deal!

Anyways, to bring all of this back to Philza Minecraft: What kind of hypotext informs how the audience sees his character? Well, this is where I will have to talk about SBI.

SBI is an acronym that stand for State Bank of India, the 43rd largest bank in the world and…

It also stands for Sleepy Bois Incorporated. Sleepy Bois Incorporated is a loose assembly of content creators, consisting of Philza, Wilbur Soot, TommyInnit and Technoblade. It is most well-known for its very endearing family dynamic – a dynamic that is frequently acknowledged and played up by the creators involved. Tommy is the youngest brother, Wilbur and Techno are the two older brothers and Philza is of course the dad. And when I say, it’s played up, I really mean it! Wilbur seems to be especially enamoured with the idea and leaves no opportunity untaken to bring it up – which we will come back to.

And I’m not saying that they’re faking this and this is somehow an act. While I know none of these people personally, it appears to me, that this is genuinely how they interact – if a little exaggerated for the streaming experience. Even when they’re not consciously playing into the family dynamic, their interactions still very much lend themselves to that interpretation by the viewers.

Philza especially just radiates Dad-Friend energy – so much so that it has become a huge part of his brand identity – yay, I can bring that back (check out my Christmas video if you want to hear me ramble about that). The nickname Dadza stuck even before SBI was a thing.

So, even if we completely disregard SBI – which we shouldn’t for reasons I’ll get back to – Philza has cultivated an image of strong paternal guidance. He is, in my opinion completely deservedly, regarded very positively. He is highly respected and in turn seen as a voice of reason.

All of this would eventually inform the hypotext of the character Philza within Dream SMP.

 Interlude: Before Dadza & November 16th

Okay, so now we have established that a) Dream SMP heavily hinges on intertextual readings by the audience to supplement character backstory and b) that Philza’s entire deal is that he’s the dad-friend – more specifically that he’s the dad of SBI (not the bank). I think you know where this is going.

So, yeah, ever since it was on the table that Philza could join the Dream SMP, it was immediately assumed that he would take on the paternal guardian role all these traumatized people on that server so desperately needed – and with good reason! Like I said before, the audience at this point was trained to take intertextual interpretations as basically canon or at the very least canon-adjacent.

I want to emphasize that this is most likely not done deliberately. I’m sure content creators Wilbur and Philza didn’t sit there and said: “Yes! We will rely entirely on the audience’s inclination to interpret our characters intertextually to define character Philza!”. Like, obviously that did not happen.

But it’s also important to remember that unlike with traditional media and the fanbases cultivated there, the separation between the Dream SMP and its audience is almost non-existent – and purposely so. The story events are streamed live, Chats are acknowledged in canon and even outside of livestreams creators are extremely involved with the fandom. So, the weight of fan-expectations is equally amplified and will more likely be incorporated into the writing process. Case in point:

[Wilbur “I miss Philza”/Philza about Wilbur]

During Wilbur’s villain arc, even before his official involvement, Philza became a prevalent point of discussion. The hope that he would be the one to snap Wilbur out of his downward spiral was not only wish-fulfilment on behalf of the fans; it also very much played off of the intertextual reading of the SBI-dynamic in relation to the Dream SMP.

Of course, this still doesn’t make Philza and Wilbur canonically blood-related – but it definitely used the “paternal”-dynamic of SBI to build-up tension and drama.

And that ultimately brings us to November 16th. The Grand Finale of Season 1 and Philza’s first canonical appearance on the SMP.

Now, for this I want to pull back from the transtextual analysis and talk about simply narrative analysis: What is Philza’s narrative purpose on November 16th?

Philza serves as the last threshold on Wilbur’s Villain’s Journey – to appropriate Vogler’s version of the monomyth for a minute here – he is what Vogler calls the “Threshold Guardian”. He is the last enemy the Hero faces before completing his quest – in this particular case Wilbur’s quest is to blow up L’Manberg. Multiple people have at this point tried to dissuade him from this course of action: Tommy, Quackity, Niki and others. So how come this Philza moment is not redundant in terms of dynamics compared to these prior scenes?

Well, it’s through our intertextual understanding of Wilbur’s and Phil’s relationship. Because Philza does not just occupy the role of the Threshold Guardian – he is also implicitly the Mentor. Before Phil there was no character in the storyline that held a higher position of moral authority than Wilbur – Dream and Schlatt, while at points more powerful in terms of actual authority, were never positioned by the narrative as Wilbur’s superiors in the same way as Wilbur was to Tommy, Tubbo or even Niki.

Before November 16th all challenges Wilbur faced were from people narratively subordinated to him. But that trend is broken with Phil. That is why he is the Threshold Guardian, why this confrontation is at the climax of Wilbur’s arc. Because Phil is the last thing tethering Wilbur to whatever morality he held before his villain arc; Phil is the last, moral obstacle Wilbur has to discard before gaining his reward.

And, just a quick sidenote, because I’ve seen it around the fandom a bunch: When I’m referring to Wilbur denouncing his morality, I’m using that in terms of narrative analysis. I’m mentioning it, because Wilbur’s character can very easily be read as mentally ill or neurodivergent and some people have – rightly! – pointed out that the excessive vilifying when talking about his character is … problematic, to say the least.

So, I just want to make clear, this isn’t a character analysis, I’m being purposely broad when talking about Wilbur and Phil.

In the end, Wilbur takes that final step and gets his “reward”: As his final request his mentor takes his life and vanquishes the evil – the dragon of Wilbur’s story slays the dragon of L’Manburg. It’s very Shakespearean in its tragedy – but beyond the larger theatrics it’s not really used to further characterize Phil – at least in the context of Season 1. There’s not a lot of focus on his characters internal conflict during November 16th.

Phil, like Techno, is very utilitarian in how content creator Wilbur writes him: He serves as a moment of hype; an obstacle Wilbur has to face; a participant in the tragic climax of Wilbur’s character and ultimately takes on his implicit and expected role of mentor and guiding figure to the rest of L’Manburg.

I think not a lot of people talk about how Philza does not join Technoblade during November 16th. He takes the side of L’Manburg – he fights against the withers and he joins Tommy, Tubbo and the others at the L’Mantree, thus framing him as loyal to the L’Manburg administration – even though Season 2 would make his loyalty to Techno central to his character. But more on that later.

What’s also important about November 16th is that this is the day when the general intertextual interpretation became canonized text.

[You’re my son!]

Wilbur is made Phil’s canonical, biological son. The intertextual interpretation of SBI as it pertains to these two characters on the SMP was completely reinforced by the narrative. Or to put it in Fandom terms: The headcanon became actual canon. At least when it came to Wilbur … but what about Philza’s “other” children?

Well, that leads to our second form of transtextual analysis:

 Paratextuality: Is Dadza?

These titles are just getting better and better.

The Paratext is defined as all those things in a published work that accompany the text. It comes in two forms: One of them is the Peritext, which are non-diegetic elements directly surrounding the text – like chapter titles, author’s notes, and stuff like that. Translated to the medium of the Dream SMP, it would be stuff like this:

[Examples]

And, trust me, I could make a whole separate video about how people on the SMP use their peritext as a tool for storytelling – I’m looking at you, Ranboo – but that’s not what we will talk about in the context of Dadza.

Instead, we will focus on the second form of Paratext, the Epitext, which consists of all authorial and editorial discussions taking place outside of the text. That’s stuff like interviews, private letters or J. K. Rowling’s Twitter Account – you know, before she decided to become a full-time asshole.

[Wilbur: Transrights]

After Season 1 ended, Wilbur indulged pretty heavily in providing epitext for the Dream SMP, something he had not done prior to November 16th. His paratextual additions ranged from the playful, like assigning DnD alignments to various SMP members, to the extremely impactful, like the whole three lives system!

You probably think, you know where this is going. Wilbur provided some epitext about how Tommy and Techno either are or are not biologically related to him … and I have to be honest I thought that too. But then I began looking into the impenetrable web that is the SBI-canon on the Dream SMP and found this!

[Ghostbur explains family]

So, it wasn’t paratext, it was just straight text. Said in character, in canon, without any implication that we the viewers should question this. The text of the SBI family dynamic was explicitly linked to Dream SMP-exclusive lore, namely Fundy being Wilbur’s and Sally the Salmon’s son. This is as clear as Philza’s anguished declaration on November 16th in establishing the intertext as text. And because Wilbur also had a very heavy hand in the discussion of paratext around that time, it gave his character’s words even more “canonical” weight. Metatextually speaking, this very much read like the author giving exposition through his character – exposition that we should understand as reliable.

And, by the way, before I continue, I need to give a huge, huge shoutout to kateis-cakeis on tumblr, I hope I pronounced that right, who was just so quick in providing me with these crucial clips. Without him I would have looked for days because these people don’t archive their shit! And the Dream SMP Wiki was NO help, by the way! I love what you guys do, but stuff like this belongs in the Trivia section on characters’ pages!

Anyways, basically during the entirety of early Season 2 the SBI family dynamic was basically canon to the SMP. Sometimes it was only alluded implicitly, again letting the intertext fill out the rest.

[Philza clips]

But just as often it was just explicitly talked about – both in the text and in the paratext.

[Fundy clip/Wilbur “Twins” clip/Tommy clip]

So, I know what you’re thinking: “Why is this part called paratext, if the entire family tree is just textual”. Well, that last clip might give you a hint, as to what I will talk about. Notice how Tommy, one of the people most directly impacted by the canonization of SBI lore, is both unaware of and seems generally unenthused about it, to put it nicely? Well, that would soon turn out to be a much bigger deal than anyone could have imagined as he wasn’t the only one.

[Technoblade decanonizes SBI]

Yeah …

This happened on 20th of December. Regular viewers of this channel will remember that I put out a 90-second joke video, where I complain about this very development. And while I was mostly kidding around, the core idea is still true. The paratext provided by Technoblade and established text were in direct contradiction with one another – and that brought a lot of confusion into the fandom. Confusion, that would soon be followed by frustration.

Because Techno only decanonized himself as part of the SBI family dynamic – but what about Tommy and Tubbo, the latter of which was incorporated into the dynamic exclusively within the lore of the Dream SMP. Was this still canon or wasn’t it?

What followed was a muddled mess of contradictions, intertextual implications, text and paratext in conflict with each another. It was for the most part inscrutable to figure out how Tommy and Philza related to one another. I’ll spare you every comment made about this – mostly because I want to spare myself from looking for all of them.

In the end, the current status is that their familial relationship is … unclear. Philza said, again in paratext, that it’s ultimately up to the writers to decide, whether or not Tommy is his son … which, I personally think he and Tommy should be the ones to establish that, but I’ll come back to that later.

But why is all of this important anyway? Why would this ambiguity create such an uproar, such controversy – especially when it comes to Tommy’s character? What makes Tommy’s and Philza’s relationship such a target for discussion in the fandom?

Well … this is where we will have to talk about the storyline of Season 2.

Interlude II: Tommy’s Exile and Dadza in Season 2

Okay, Season 2. This is where the spoilers are, so I will just sneakily drop this again. It took me five seconds to google this gif and I will milk it for every penny it’s worth!

At the beginning of Season 2, Philza’s narrative role has not changed much from where Season 1 ended. He is in L’Manburg dispensing earthly wisdom, being a paternal figure to Fundy, Ghostbur and Tubbo, helping with the nation’s rebuilding efforts; just generally occupying the role of the mentor.

[clips]

And then came … the Exile. The Exile Arc took place between December 3rd and December 15th during Season 2 of the Dream SMP. It revolves around TommyInnit getting exiled from L’Manburg and slowly getting psychologically tortured and broken down by Dream. It’s a really great arc, at least in my opinion, that explores and deepens a lot of Tommy’s character relationships, whether that be Tommy and Dream, Tommy and Tubbo or Tommy and Ranboo. One relationship, however, is noticeably missing.

So, yeah, Philza spends basically the entirety of the exile doing pretty much nothing of consequence. And that’s not a problem specific to him – One big criticism I would levy against the Exile Arc is that a lot of characters are left spinning their wheels. Which is why we get zany stuff like El Rapids, Drywaters, Eret’s Knights of the Roundtable, Boomerville – anyone remember Boomerville, that was a thing for 5 seconds, wasn’t it? – basically a lot of storylines are started and then unceremoniously dropped. Now, I will talk more about this, when I make a video about Season 2 of the Dream SMP … in ten years, look forward to it.

In the case of Philza, this inaction was especially damning, because at this point it was still a considered canon that he was Tommy’s dad. So, the fans were left with a situation, where just a few weeks prior Philza was occupying a paternal role for Fundy and Ghostbur … but now, that his youngest son was in a very concerning predicament – to put it lightly – he was nowhere to be found.

So why is that?

Well, the most obvious answer is that Dream and Tommy didn’t write him into the storyline. We’ve seen that Tommy wasn’t particularly interested in exploring a familial relationship to Philza, at least at the time. And it would just not fit in with what Dream and Tommy tried to do with the Exile Arc: they wanted to tell the story of Tommy being isolated, completely under Dream’s mercy, slowly worn down and manipulated. If Philza had been constant presence for Tommy during that time, it would have definitely shifted the narrative focus. That doesn’t mean that they couldn’t have done that, it’s just a matter of fact that they didn’t.

This also reveals another truth about content creator Philza’s character work, that I think is extremely crucial: He takes what the writers give him. Outside of a few choice moments, he doesn’t seem particularly interested in expanding or even solidifying his character on the SMP.

What I’m saying is that he is very go-with-the-flow: Wilbur wants to enact a Shakespearean tragedy? Philza’s up for it. Fundy wants him as a parental figure and mentor? Philza’s here for him. Tommy, conversely, doesn’t want him as a paternal presence, even though it would make sense for Philza’s character, as it was established so far, to be there? Philza will oblige.

The reason I’m mentioning this is because, while Tommy and Dream were unwilling to utilise Philza in their storyline, someone else was more than happy to. Which leads us back, like it always does, to everyone’s favourite Porky Pig-kinnie in a crown: Technoblade.

Technoblade and Philza, from everything I’ve seen of them, seem to be very good friends – and they share a lot of history even outside SBI. So, it’s commendable that they would collaborate on a storyline together.

A consequence of that, however, is that Philza’s narrative purpose shifts completely with very little transition. His entire character changes from being the Mentor-figure of L’Manberg to being pretty much exclusively defined as Technoblade’s ally; his man on the inside. It is a very sharp turn from the end of Season 1. Their relationship is once again informed via intertext – this time the Antarctic Empire on SMPEarth serves as the hypotext – but there isn’t a huge effort made to smoothly integrate that aspect of Philza’s character into the larger narrative framing around him.

How much the narrative utilisation of Philza has shifted can be very easily observed through the Butcher Army event on December 16th, a story event that I like less and less the more I think about. Here Philza is used to show just how corrupt and violent Tubbo’s administration has becomes. He is no longer the respected mentor, he is now the stand-in for the oppressed populace, similar to Niki’s role in Season 1. On a narrative level, he is here to prove a point.

If you’ve seen my Technoblade video, you know how I feel about … just that entire storyline, so I will not reiterate too much on it. I just want to make clear that I’m not principally against this development – if they wanted to truly explore Tubbo going down a dark path and getting corrupted by power, so much so that he would even treat the person who effectively raised him like a prisoner, I would be extremely here for it, I cannot stress that enough.

The problem I have is that it’s just so sloppily done. It is not coherent with how these characters behaved and, more importantly, how they were narratively framed prior to the Butcher Army event. Fundy gets one token line about Phil being his Grandfather – a far cry from the very emotionally complex relationship they had established at the beginning of Season 2 – and Phil then callously disowns him.

The major problem simply is that we don’t see how Philza changes from Mentor-figure to embittered, oppressed citizen. And there was enough time to build to that. During the entirety of Tommy’s exile Tubbo was pretty much spinning his wheels and Quackity and Fundy were opening up plot cul-de-sacs that didn’t end up going anywhere. This is time they could have spent on developing their relationship to Philza and the dark path they were going down – but again, Season 2 video.

There is not much to say on Philza’s narrative purpose and framing beyond the Butcher Army event. He remains pretty much exclusively Techno’s consigliere with his role as Mentor to L’Manburg a distant memory. He has some cute character moments with Ranboo, because content creator Philza is just big dad-energy whether he wants to or not, and whenever he and Ghostbur share a scene suddenly the narrative remembers that there are people other than Technoblade that should exist in Philza’s inner world. But aside from that, Philza’s storyline in Season 2 remains … pretty definitive is the nicest way I can put it.

Most importantly his relationship with Tommy continues to be completely unexplored – whether by chance or choice – and that combined with ever vaguer paratext leaves “Dadza” in a very peculiar situation.

 Conclusion: Is Dadza a Good Dadza?

So, the question to end all questions. The big, obnoxious text, that I will probably have put in the thumbnail – I haven’t made it yet, but I know myself. The honest answer is: I couldn’t tell you.

I have, in the past, been expounding the virtues of narrative analysis. That is because I feel that Narrative Analysis and Textual Analysis, like in this video, can provide certain tools that Character Analysis lacks. Often times I see people trying to get at a writing problem or query and getting frustrated because they’re not using the toolset, they need to figure out what they want to figure out.

But I’d be a hypocrite if I pretended like everything could be solved through the modes of analysis I prefer. And I think the Dadza-issue is exactly such a case.

I set out to explore why the Philza-Tommy-“Dadza”-relationship has become so controversial. It’s a combination of expectations build up through intertextual readings, that were partly canonized – something that is very common for the Dream SMP – conflicting pieces of paratext, which only serve to muddle the issue further and a text that is not only completely uninterested in actually exploring Tommy’s and Philza’s relationship – as it stands right now they might as well be strangers, narratively speaking – but also completely changes Philza’s narrative purpose as it relates to characters like Fundy or Tubbo about half-way through with little to no transition.

That is why I say, that Philza’s character is a victim of narrative circumstance. Because unwittingly, through all of these factors and decisions, there is not coherent reading of Philza that frames his parental skills in a particularly kind light.

The question of how we can judge Phil as a paternal figure ultimately falls within the purview of the character analysis – and that’s a very multifaceted issue, highly dependent on which POV you focus on and how you interpret the other characters in that POV’s periphery.

To put my cards on the table, I think that Philza is a very flawed father/father-figure – and I find that absolutely okay. Flaws are the spice of character building. He is not Cinderella’s Evil Stepmother – but he’s also definitely not Mufasa. If we were to read Philza as a paternal figure, then he would have made a lot of mistakes and decisions to the detriment of his “children” – least of all everything that happened on Doomsday.

But I also have sympathies for Philza fans who are tired of the Dad-Debate and would like to have his character judged independent from his relationship to Ghostbur, Fundy, Tubbo and Tommy.

Ultimately, to bring it all to a point, I’d like to end with saying, that I think that Philza, out of all the characters on the SMP, has the potential to be on of the most intriguing, multifaceted ones. There are all of these different patches of story, character moments and narrative and transtextual implications, that, if brought together, could create a beautiful tapestry of the character Philza.

You have his relationship with Techno, which holds the potential for so much emotional conflict and vulnerabilities, you have his time as mentor of L’Manburg, which is just criminally underused; the complex relationship between him and Ghostbur/Wilbur; and – for me, personally – most intriguingly this weird, almost uncomfortably distant non-relationship with Tommy. That last one is intriguing to me, because it contrasts just so much with our intertextual understanding of the characters and streaming personas – and it just holds the potential for so much conflict, so much drama, so much angst. Which I live for!

And, yes, I do believe that most of this is narrative happenstance, that this was largely not intended by Philza or really any of the writers. It’s just what happens when hybrid-roleplay-improv a long-running, livestreamed storyline in Minecraft.

But I want them to realize the potential they have on their hands, because it could – with barely any adjustments – turn Philza from a victim of narrative circumstance to a champion of it!

 Outro

Thank you so much for watching this video. Usually, I don’t record outros this standard, but after this beast of a video I felt it necessary. I hope that whether you’re a Philza fan or a Philza critical or just completely uninvolved in the whole thing, there is at least a little entertainment you could get from this.

I want to take this opportunity to say that my next few videos will probably not be Dream SMP related – a sentence which undoubtedly lost me a bunch of subs – simply because I don’t want to burn out on it. I genuinely enjoy watching the SMP and being exhausted by it would be something I wouldn’t want to force on myself.

But who knows what will happen? The Karl Jacobs video was something I did spur of the moment because the idea just came to me – so I can’t guarantee that the next video won’t be a three-minute joke about Purpled or whatever.

Anyway, my concrete plans for future Dream SMP videos are essays on Season 1 and Season 2 as well as one for Tales from the SMP.

Before that I have a longer video in the works, which I’ve already teased a bunch, so I hope it will finally be finished sometime. And I also may be working on something … eboys-related? Maybe. I’m not making any promises!

[allygodot]

Taking Accountability

My name is Adam, but people online call me Coffee. I’m a 27 years old graduate of Chicago Law School living in Green Bay, Wisconsin. I am a heterosexual Christian, but am an ally to the LGBT community. My main interests are Ace Attorney, Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure, and My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. These are all things my followers should know about me, so why am I telling you this? Well... what if I told you it was all a lie? I’m sure this is coming as a shock to a lot of you, and I sincerely apologize to everyone I’ve hurt with my deception. It is my hope that this post will clear up any misconceptions that have been spread about me, whether I spread them myself or otherwise, and that in the future there will be no animosity between us. I don’t expect to be forgiven nor do I deserve it, but if there is one thing I learned from my time in the church it is that all I can do is ask for mercy and hope for the best. But first... I think an explanation is in order. If all that isn’t the truth, then what is? It all starts in college, that nebulous period of my life that everyone keeps asking about and I keep bringing up. Before I went to university, I had always been completely unremarkable. I had always had the kind of fair weather friends who enjoyed my company, but never felt to invested in me. Combined with my status as a middle child, I always felt like I had something to prove to get people to like me. I would say and think whatever I needed to for them to stick around another day, and I’m sure you are familiar with what that means for teenage boys. I acted immaturely because it was what was expected... and anything outside of that was looked down upon it even forbidden. I never thought much of it at the time, but I realize now that I wasn’t allowed much self-expression when I was always trying to conform to their standards. Everything changed when I met him. My assigned college roommate, Anton, was everything my years of conditioning had taught me to distrust. Despite his tall stature, he was emotional and sensitive... even vulnerable. Even so, he wasn’t afraid to be unabashedly himself. The first thing that struck me as unusual about him was his clothing... he almost always wore pastel pink or yellow and I hardly ever saw him without his long, checkered scarf. His nails were always painted with a clear, glittery polish, and I don’t think he ever skipped a shower in his life. His hair was always soft and smelled like strawberry even at a distance... all this to say he immediately struck me as fruity so I wanted nothing to do with him, at least initially. Despite his kindness to me, I would always respond with either the cold shoulder or open scorn, which only amplified the more I learned about him. I discovered pretty quickly that he was a furry, since one day I came home from a day of classes to find a decapitated pink cat head on our couch. He patiently explained the whole culture to me while I glared at him skeptically, but he didn’t seem bothered at all. He even brought out his paws and tail and told me he was saving up for a full suit despite my open disgust. Looking back, I still have no clue why he put up with me during that time. Another curious aspect of Anton’s life was his addiction to a certain television series called “My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.” His room was filled with merchandise from stuffed animals to figurines, and I had nothing but disdain for the tacky and embarrassing decoration. I was afraid that if I ever brought a girl over to our apartment she would notice and make all sorts of incorrect assumptions... I couldn’t handle the embarrassment. I tried on multiple occasions to convince him to hide them in a secret box or something, but he always just smiled and shook his head. I even tried to sneak into his room and collect all the ponies for donation once, but he had anticipated this and hid a playful trap for me... I reached forward to grab one of his overpriced statues and immediately got a face full of multi-colored snakes. I was livid of course, despite it being my own fault for trying to pawn of his collection in the first place, but he wasn’t even phased by my tirade. I suppose he was 6’5” and I was (and still am) only 5′7″... but still, I had at least expected him to be somewhat apologetic if not fearful. Instead, he just laughed and told me I should watch the show with him sometime. I obviously had no intentions of taking him up on his ludicrous offer... until he promised that if I didn’t enjoy the show, he would move all of his ponies into a case that he would throw a big curtain on whenever I said the word. I reluctantly agreed on those conditions, positive that this was a bet I couldn’t lose. I still remember that night like it was yesterday. He lead me into the pony chamber and sat down on his bed, taking out his laptop to pull up his favorite episode. It was “The Canterlot Wedding” two part season finale, and although I initially protested that I only agreed to watch one episode, I eventually relented once he reminded me what the prize was. I was hesitant to sit beside him on his bed and lean over his shoulder to look at the small screen, but he assured me that it didn’t bother him at all. I wasn’t particularly concerned with how he felt about it... it was more so my own pride I was worried about. Nevertheless, I sat through the whole episode with him despite myself. Although I was disturbed by the tendency for his long and curly hair to gravitate into my mouth while I rested my cheek against his shoulder, I found the episode to be surprisingly enjoyable. The song in particular surprised me with it’s musicality... by the end of it I didn’t want to leave, but I was far too embarrassed to admit that to him earnestly. I told him I was interested in the show purely for the songs and that it could benefit my studies as a music major, but that he still had to uphold his end of the bargain since I was by no means enjoying it. He just smiled and put on another episode, and before I knew it the sun was rising outside his window. I realized just how tired I was and turned to tell him I would be going to bed only to discover he had fallen asleep. I began to suspect that he must have been asleep for several hours, letting the auto-play functionality do his job for him while he rested up for his exams. Although I was scandalized, I was impressed by his tactical prowess... he had managed to trap me in his room, since I couldn’t move from my spot without disturbing his slumber, and he didn’t even have to be awake to do it. Begrudgingly, I spent the rest of his room, until eventually the faint aroma of strawberries lured me into the world of dreams... This arrangement continued for quite some time. When I got home from my classes, Anton would ask me if I wanted to watch some My Little Pony with him and I only agreed so long as he put the curtain over the cabinet next time I asked. He always obliged whenever I asked him to conceal his collection, but eventually I stopped asking for him to do so and only reminded him not to break our contract before every episode out of habit. It became a ritual for the two of us to do this every night, and even once we had finished all of the episodes we would just watch them again. I found that I was becoming endeared to this eccentric man... and as much as I tried to resist it, I couldn’t help but feel my heart swell a bit in my chest whenever he would run his fingers through his hair or tighten his scarf around his neck. I told myself it was nothing... but it wouldn’t remain that way for long. I don’t know what possessed me, but one night I thought I would get to know Anton a little better. I started by asking if he was single, which to me seemed like an innocuous question, but the very fact I was asking seemed to amuse him. He told me that he was having trouble finding a guy who wasn’t immediately turned off by all the ponies, and I made sure to snidely comment that he shouldn’t be going out with guys anyway even though it made my heart skip a beat when he said that, as well as mention that if he would just give up his collection there wouldn’t be an issue in the first place. I don’t know what I was expecting, but he asked me the same thing: how was my love life going, especially considering my new hobby? I couldn’t help but get flustered and start making excuses. I told him that there was no shortage of girls lined up to date me, but that I just wasn’t ready to make a commitment yet. I spun a whole story about how a girlfriend would only hold me back... I almost forgot that the standard that Anton accepted was completely different from my old teenage friends. He wasn’t impressed that girls were apparently lining up to get a piece of me... he just seemed amused that I thought such a thing was realistic, much less desirable. He didn’t understand that compulsive need to lie at all... he thought it would be better if more guys admitted that they were vulnerable. That was the first time I’d ever heard someone say something like that... I suddenly felt extremely exposed, and before I knew it my eyes were full of tears. My first instinct was to cover my face with my sleeve and hide my shame, but he was already firmly gripping my arm and holding it in place. He told me that I didn’t need to hide anything from him. He asked me if there was anything he could do to help me... and so for what felt like the first time in my life, I told the truth. It was supposed to be just to try it. I wasn’t expecting to actually enjoy it, I just thought that if I got it out of my system all of the unnecessary feelings would finally stop tormenting me... but all they did was grow stronger. I kept telling him that I was still looking for a girlfriend and that once I got one this whole arrangement would end, but eventually I realized that there was no point in lying to myself anymore. I wasn’t ever even sleeping in my own room anymore. I hadn’t so much as glanced at any dating websites in weeks. I was committed, whether I wanted to admit it or not... and I didn’t want to admit it. I only wish that I had told him how I really felt when I had the chance... One of the many things we started to share, which seemed the most inconsequential to me at the time, was a webpage. Anton was the owner of a small subreddit dedicated to My Little Pony fursuits, and he asked me if I would be willing to help him moderate. It wasn’t something I felt qualified to speak as an authority on, since even as I became more open about my love for ponies I still didn’t really feel connected to furry culture despite accompanying him to several conventions, but I was willing to do basically anything just to please him. My job was mostly to stop people from publicly “yiffing,” and although it was a grueling line of work it wasn’t thankless. Anton was a poet with words of affirmation. Many of the compliments he paid me were certainly undeserved, but they motivated me more than anything else ever had... but I got too zealous. There was a certain user on the server who for the sake of protecting privacy, we shall call XxLesbianRainbowDash69xX. As a member of the subreddit they were of course a brony and a furry, but what made them stand out was their dedication to the Flutterdash ship. They were constantly posting couple’s cosplays of themselves dressed as Rainbow Dash, but the Fluttershy in each picture was always different. They were also exceptionally sociable and aggressively tried to make friends with everyone on the tiny subreddit... Anton and I included. I wasn’t so keen on pursuing another friendship that could very well ruin my reputation, but of course Anton was immediately taken with the idea. The two of them exchanged contacts and hit it off instantly, and I started having trouble sleeping at night because he was awake in the early hours of the morning texting his friend in another timezone. He always paid me just as much attention as always during the daytime, but once he saw that his new friend was online he would crawl out of bed to go converse with them in another room. He was trying so hard to be considerate of me, and perhaps it was selfish for me to expect that I would always be able to sense his warmth and scent beside me while I slept... but at the time I was blinded by jealousy. One fateful morning, he excitedly woke me up to tell me that XxLesbianRainbowDash69xX had gifted him tickets to a major convention, and that the two of them were planning to cosplay Flutterdash together. He apologetically explained that he would be gone for a few days since the convention was halfway across the country, but sensing the disturbance within me he assured me that he could probably convince his friend to let me tag along as Applejack... she was always my least favorite. It didn’t matter what Anton said to encourage me, because I was never going to accept any consolation until this threat to our sacred relationship was eliminated. I had to find a way to get rid of XxLesbianRainbowDash69xX by any means necessary... In a fit of rage, I whipped out the ban hammer and beat my rival to death with it, metaphorically speaking. It was a blatant abuse of my privilege as a moderator and I am ashamed to admit it now... but at the time all that mattered was covering up the evidence. I knew I had to come up with an excuse for why I had banned them, so I added a new rule to the subreddit: Flutterdash was prohibited. The news was not met with acceptance from the other members of the community. To some more in the loop with the situation, it was obvious that I had only banned XxLesbianRainbowDash69xX because of a petty personal dispute, but others saw it as nothing but an unfair rule. I was accused of being biased towards other ships like Flutterchord or Appledash and that I needed to accept other people’s ship preferences, or even that I was homophobic and couldn’t handle the thought of lesbian characters in my favorite show. Chants of “mods are gay” could be heard across the subreddit from all sides of the debate, and everyone was rallying for Anton to remove me as a tyrannical moderator. Sound familiar? I can’t help but notice some similarities between my situation and Mo the one over at Kristahlia Week... maybe that is why the drama captivated me so.  Anton tried to reason with me, bless his heart, but at this point I had completely devolved back into my screaming teenager mentality to cope with all the rejection. He was obviously disappointed in me for what I had done but he had no reason to believe it would ruin us... he couldn’t have handled it better. It really was my fault that things happened the way they did, but I refused to take accountability. What I told him still haunts my conscience to this day, even six years later. I told him that I never loved him, and that I was only using his companionship to fulfill my carnal desires. I told him that I didn’t care about what he did with his life as long as he didn’t do anything that kept him away from me. I even told him that I still thought he was disgusting and embarrassing. And the worst thing is... in that moment I meant every word. I was so selfish... I genuinely forgot that I loved him and treated him like he only existed to serve me. My actions were truly despicable and I deserved to suffer for it... and I did. For the first time, I saw Anton cry. I should have been there to comfort him like he did for me on that fateful night, but instead I let him run out of the house to go suffer by himself. By the time I realized how horrible I was acting, it was too late. He had disappeared into the night, never to be seen again. I came home the next day to discover all the ponies in the apartment finally gone... isn’t that what I had wanted? My moderator status on the subreddit had been stripped away, and I had been banned by all of the members of the group on nearly every social media platform. Another classmate later informed me that Anton had transferred to a different college... and that was the end. I have no idea what happened to him after that, but I can only hope he is doing well. Instead of taking this as an omen that I should improve my behavior, I began to become even more bitter than I was before I met Anton. I acted like my relationship with him was just an experimental phase that was doomed to fail from the start, and soon I was denying that it ever even happened at all. I convinced myself that the problem in our relationship was that I wasn’t supposed to be with men, and so I began to insist that I was straight and aggressively seek out relationships with women just to prove it to myself. I also started searching for strict moral codes that could give direction to my life... which is when I found the Church. I was attracted to their beliefs because they gave a very clear outline for how someone’s life should go and promised ultimate happiness to anyone who could fulfill the requirements, so I began to obsess over meeting those requirements. I wanted a Christian wife that could bear me many children not because that is how I wanted to live my life, but because that is how other people wanted me to live my life... and all I wanted was for others to tell me I was doing something right. The congregation was distrusting if me at first, and although they never said it to my face I know it was because they were aware of my past. Hardly a woman would come near me, and looking back on it I can’t say I blame them. The ones who were desperate enough for a husband to give me a shot were quirky repulsed by my egotistical behavior, which certainly didn’t help my reputation. Throughout all this, I still somehow told myself I was the victim because I didn’t want to admit that I had become the villain again. For a long time, the only person in the parish who would willingly hold a conversation with me was Lana. She was a fellow member of the choir and a devout believer in God, but she was often judged by the rest of the congregation for being an open lesbian despite her faith. She tried to convince me on several occasions that I didn’t have to perform any sort of identity to impress anyone and that I should “just be myself,” but I insisted that I knew what I was talking about. Eventually, she decided my well-being wasn’t her responsibility and gave up on trying to reason with me, but nonetheless she still treated me more kindly then many of the other churchgoers. I believe that my “dark past” is what drew Gabriella to me in the first place. She likely hoped that we could act as covers for each other until she figured some way out of her situation, but unfortunately I was too far gone to be of any help. I convinced myself that she was really in love with me and that she would be walking down the aisle soon enough. Whether or not I was really interested in her or just interested in what she represented I’m still not sure... but she truly was a wonderful person who didn’t deserve to have to suffer through my baggage. When she left me I was truly devastated... so much so that I even began to go through another crisis of belief that I recorded on this very blog. All I have to add is that I no longer bear any resentment towards Lana or Gabriella, and only wish them the best of luck. My relationship with Krissy began almost immediately after my breakup with Gabriella. I was desperate to regain the status I supposed that I had lost along with my girlfriend, so I latched onto the first woman who showed me any sort of positive attention. Her death and my downward spiral are all well-documented on this blog. I didn’t want to blame myself for her passing as well, so I developed a conspiracy to rationalize the whole ordeal. I even tried to act like a completely different person to try to keep the blame as mentally distant from myself as possible, but that didn’t work either. In the end, this is my cross to bear alone. So that brings us to now. What will become of allygodot? The truth is, I don’t know and quite frankly I don’t think that is the most important thing right now. I realized last night when I was looking at that art of Diego and Godot as Happy Tree Friends characters that I desperately wanted to be anyone other than myself... it really opened my eyes to the level of repression that had been burdening me since the incident six years ago. I realized that if I wanted to change, sitting around and thinking about how things could hypothetically be different isn’t going to do anything. If I want to make progress and truly become a better person, I’m going to have to act better, not just tell myself that I am. From now on, I will be defining myself on my actions and not my beliefs, as wise man once said. I hope that soon, I will have become a good enough person to meet Anton face to face again... I still love him after all these years, and even though I expect that he justifiably won’t want anything to do with me anymore, I still think that it is a guilt that needs to be resolved. If I ever come back to this blog, it’ll be as a different Adam to the one you thought that you knew. It’ll be as the Adam I’m trying to become... the true Adam that I know exists deep within me... Not allygodot, but as proudgodot. My name is Adam, but people online call me Coffee or Godot. I’m a 27 years old former music student living in Green Bay, Wisconsin. I am bisexual. My main interests are Ace Attorney, Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure, and My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

[moonlightchn]

𝖂𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖜𝖔𝖑𝖛𝖊𝖘, 𝖜𝖔𝖑𝖛𝖊𝖘

and basic shit you should know before interacting I guess~

*Disclaimer: all the information this post contains will be based on things I’ve learned over the years and my personal modifications are NOT to be taken as the general rule. This is MY abo concept for this bot in particular. Yall are free to agree, disagree, take ideas, adapt to your own bot, etcetcetc. Bye. Also sorry this doesn't have a read more;;;; I tried :(

Hello, this is (not) JYPe,

and welcome to the first episode of “Admin’s abo concept isn’t probably what you think so we gonna go in dept on this shit hehe ”. This was originally going to be a one part documentary but I realized I would probably keep coming up with or remembering stuff and these would be so LOOONG so I decided to just do it as I go and I’ll use the hashtag “admins abo tmi ” for this yeah. But also remember you can ask questions if you have any or if you don’t understand something because I usually ramble a lot.

Today we’ll be talking about 3 things that seem to be the most important since they’re the most brought up on my RP’s and they are:

Turning/Transforming.

Heat vs Rut.

Mates.

So let’s begin!

🌙 𝕿𝖚𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌/𝕿𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖘𝖋𝖔𝖗𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖌…

There’s two meanings to this concept, one is the concept of turning from human form to wolf form, and the other one is being transformed into a wolf by different means (these usually depends on which story you’ve heard, it can be being the 7th boy child in a family, it can be a bite or a scratch, it can be eating raw meat, etcetcetc).

*This change has now also been added to the Chan’s pack introduction.

What are the definitions of this words? Cambridge Dictionary defines them as:

Turn: to (cause to) become, change into, or come to be something.

Example: “Chan turned into his wolf form”

Explanation: Chan, already a werewolf, turned and changed into his wolf form.

Transform: to change completely the appearance or character of something or someone, especially so that that thing or person is improved.

Example: “Changbin was transformed into a werewolf.”

Explanation: Changbin, a regular human, was transformed /by a wolf/ into a werewolf.

𝕿𝖚𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌…

In the classic folklore, turning consists of 2 phases, human with NO wolf characteristics whatsoever, (which is what makes it so hard finding out who the werewolf in town is) and fluffy wolf with some human like characteristics (being biped, having arms instead of four legs, body structure humanlike. The best examples I can think of are the underworld lycans mmm tasteful). Another general rule for classic werewolves was that the person and wolf were two different minds, the person never remembered turning and had no idea they were the werewolf terrorizing town. While being human, the person didn’t even have the wolf skills like hearing or strength. They were just regular boring humans. Another thing was that they had no control whatsoever and ONLY turned during full moon, but I’m not getting into that yet.

Here are some examples (it’s basically furries oop).

Moving on to my concept, I decided to have 3 phases of turning, consisting on:

Human: Basic, simple, boring human. No presence of wolf features whatsoever. YET they can still make use of their skills such as sensitive hearing, smell, extra strength among others.

Half-turn: Heavily inspired by Teen Wolf tbh, SOME features are present and can generally be controlled, such as eyes, ears, tail, fangs, claws. Can even be confused for hybrids. (sumn like this please appreciate my art)

Full-turn: they become big scary fluffy puppies. Let’s remember how they look like.

Channie Chan Chris

𝕿𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖘𝖋𝖔𝖗𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖌…

As mentioned before, transforming depends on which story you know and what you’re settling for. Generally we always talk about bites and deep scratches. Some of the most known stories about how to become a werewolf are being the 7th boy child born in a family on a full moon, or in Greek mythology, Zeus transformed some dudes into wolves after they tried to feed him human meat. There’s many different stories you can pick from, they’re just one Google away~

On my concept, though, the only way to transform is through a bite, even though I always keep options open.

I will probably be talking about the 3 types of wolves and deepening this a bit more later on.

🌙 𝕳𝖊𝖆𝖙 𝖛𝖘 𝕽𝖚𝖙.

Imma give you a wolf biology class because I know too much useless info and I WANT TO.

Rut: The rut is the mating season of certain mammals. The rut is characterized in males by an increase in testosterone, exaggerated sexual dimorphisms and increased aggression and interest in females.

Heat: The estrous cycle or oestrous cycle is the set of recurring physiological changes that are induced by reproductive hormones in most mammalian therian females. Estrous cycles start after sexual maturity in females and are interrupted by anestrous phases or by pregnancies. This cycle presents four phases, the one known as “heat” being the second one, estrus or oestrus, that refers to the phase when the female is sexually receptive.

What are seasonal breeders and what is mating season?

The breeding season is when seasonal breeders reproduce. Seasonal breeders are animal species that successfully mate only during certain times of the year. These times of year allow for the optimization of survival of young due to factors such as ambient temperature, food and water availability etcetc. Male seasonal breeders may exhibit changes in testosterone levels, weight, and fertility depending on the time of year. Female seasonal breeders will have one or more estrus cycles only when she is “in season” or fertile and receptive to mating.

Wolves fall in all of these descriptions.

What does all of this shit mean and why do I care lmao?

This means that if this was a logical bot I should only be doing NSFW like one week during 4 months a year LMAO no frfr

This basically means that RUT and HEAT are the seasons when the MALE and FEMALE respectively are ready to mate with each other to reproduce.

I’ve seen many male idol hybrids having heats instead of ruts, which I have no problem at all with and am sure no one else does really, but I think you should KNOW that a heat would not make them want to fuck, but get fucked. Heat would be the need to be filled and not fill others. A heat and a rut does NOT have to equal dominance or submissiveness in bots, anyway, that would be like saying being top or bottom determines who is dom/sub and that’s wrong, so just a PSA I guess.

Now, how does this affect my CB and ABO concept?

I’ve never, anyway, read anywhere of classic werewolves reproduction, which leads me to believe that they’re probably sterile. So I will stick to real life wolves rules but on my own way. Wolves are even monogamous and I dont go by that one lmao.

Reproduction rules on my ABO are really simple, ruts are once a month, around 5 days, and each of the guys have different characteristics for them. They’re only capable of getting someone pregnant during ruts, too. I just generally believe all girls are on the pill tbh and I never really use condoms but guys irl please practice safe sex wrap your or your partners willy before going freaky and stay safe.

Not sure if there’s something else to mention here? Let me know.

🌙 𝕸𝖆𝖙𝖊𝖘…

Mates are the wolf equivalent of soulmates, but that’s bullshit. I mean, I’m not gonna say they’re not real, I just mean that the general idea of only one person for the rest of your life and if it’s not them you’re miserable is dumb when we’re talking about beings with feelings. Did you know wolves irl are monogamous and mate but if their mate dies they just look for another one and move on? Now you know.

The thing with mates and marks, in my humble opinion, is that they don’t mean anything. Peoples hearts change, feelings come and go, and my wolves are NOT about to drop everything they have for some person they don’t know who happened to be their true mate. In fact, Channie is the only one who believes in them. The mates issue is a bit complex if we think about it over each of the Chan’s, but on a general idea, the mates are not exclusive for the guys, and I’ll probably make a tmi on the boys at some point, but Chan met his mate and it didn’t work out, for example. Mates go further than the marking, btw, mates are a special, cosmic bond. Marks are just that, marks.

And talking about that, we do not vibe with marks. The original folklore states marks as the way a wolf has to claim their partner as theirs and keep away others, especially from an alpha, and they’re supposed to go both ways, so marks between human/wolf, for example wouldn’t be possible. There’s also two marks.

The first bonding mark is generally given during sex between mates and heals, and the second one in front of the pack (there’s a whole social status thing involved here but were not touching that yet) and its permanent. Also marks are literal WOLF BITES so no, they’re neither small nor cute. Just look at these teethies and picture the scar in a neck-shoulder. That’s your bonding mark.

(they're cute tho I uwuuu)

What I’ve been reading around in fanfics and seeing around is that bots have been mated and claimed with marks, which is ok if you’re into that. My chan’s, though, find physical marks archaic, possessive and toxic. And honestly I personally do too.

You may have noticed by now that even though the boys are quite possessive, they’re never trying to scare away others and their sole way of marking is love marks that heal eventually and scenting. Permanent marks are a nono.

They will NOT mark anyone as their mate. Especially Channie plz he’s baby.

This is a personal decision and it does not mean that marking is RIGHT or WRONG. I just personally see marking bites as marking your partner with fire or something and I dislike the idea a lot.

ALRIGHT I THINK THAT’S ABOUT IT FOR TODAY I FEEL LIKE I WROTE TOO MUCH ALREADY??? Feel free to ask questions or request certain topics! I think next topics will be Social Structure, Skills and maybe Self control or Moon Cycles.

If you read all of this WOW CONGRATS??? I LOVE YOU EXTRA MUAH

One question I got on the asks was “since their fur color seems to correspond with their hair color, what happens if they dye their hair?”

Nothing happens babe! When they’re half turned they will have really funny colorful hair, but when they fully turn their fur stays the same! hehe Don’t worry, Chan won’t be a clown red wolf heh

OK BYE MUAH MUAH

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[night-rise]

F.O.W.L’s PLAN

F.O.W.L... The fiendish organization for World larceny..

They live up to their reputation of being fiendish. A group of criminal masterminds with enough power, brains and resources to give people like Scrooge and Darkwing Duck a run for their money. They are a threat that have the capability to destroy the entire duck family.

Scary part is... that’s just what they’re doing this season..

Their sights are set on anyone connected to Scrooge McDuck and they have stepped out of the shadows to challenge them and destroy them once and for all...

But how?

What’s the plan? What plan can be great enough to challenge them? The Duck family have conquered shadow armies, an alien invasion and have defeated countless other villains.

This beautiful family is strong and is growing stronger with each new ally they meet. BOY’D is a freakin super robot now! And we have Lena! She’s already an army in one lol What could FOWL possibly do to match this families strength?

Well that’s what we’re here to find out! And I think I got something.. Something that very well could be the end of Scrooge and his family...

Hey guys! NightRise here with another head scratching theory that will have you up all night pondering

In my previous and first FOWL theory (which I would suggest you go read before reading this. It’s super short don’t worry lol) I talked about the connections between the Bounce serum and Fentons Energy Crystal. How they both could be related to a larger scheme because both are related to BOUNCING.

But how do these two things fit in with fitches journal? The thing that seems to be FOWLS main focus this season.

What’s the missing piece to this plan?

Well I’m here to kick start the many possibilities that is FOWLS plan and help you all see the connections. Maybe you’ll take something from this to help with your own theories.

Now I’m telling you right now that this theory is absolutely a stretch and has about a 50% chance of being accurate. For the obvious reasons being that we’re not even half way through the season yet and we still have so much more of FOWL left to see.

But because of the pieces that I found connecting so well together and the show going on a little hiatus (boo) I thought I’d go ahead and drop this off now.

It’ll be my final theory on this fiendish organization and I want to share it with you the good people so you have something during the break to think over and keep you up at night theorizing.

So with that VERY long introduction out of the way, lets rise into this:

I’ve been thinking a lot about the bounce serum and it’s capabilities. What FOWL was going to use it for and how they think it’ll help them rule the world.

But how exactly? How does bouncing help with that?

Black Heron said she wanted to use the serum to create super soldiers to cause mass destruction and chaos across the- ... (Why am I having Captain America flashbacks...?)

Anyway!

But the thing with that is from what I’ve seen the Bounce juice doesn’t really cause mass destruction when its consumed by a normal person. It just makes them bounce and invulnerable to fall damage. It didn’t create a shockwave of destruction or anything like that when they landed. So how is she going to cause destruction with it?

Bouncing is only good for escaping or surviving from high up places. How could it possibly destroy anything?

Well I got to thinking. What happens when we bounce in a second story house on the top floor? It creates a stomp. A loud BOOM!

Vibrations

And the higher we jump the greater that vibe is. So I got to thinking where would strong vibrations be the most effective and catastrophic?

UNDERGROUND!

Earthquakes!

According to an adorable red hatted nerd we know, Earthquakes are shifting plates that move.

But as also stated by another adorable duckling “who’s pushing the plates”

(Okay so you might already know where I’m going with this and like I stated previously this is what I meant by this theory being stretched and far fetched. But this was the ONLY connection I could make with this so please bear with me, you’re about to see the connections I PROMISE)

There are only one species I know that are capable of causing earthquakes with little to no effort..

The final piece that I think is in FOWLS plan is.......

The Terrafirmians!

I know, I KNOW it’s crazy. And some of you are probably already leaving but HEAR. ME. OUT. PLEASE. Let me SPEAK. Cause I’m about to explain why.

As usual I’ll try to keep it as brief as I can:

Terrafirmians, ancient rock like cretrues that live in a society deep underground. Not much different from the above ground civilization.

Their capability to move around the earth effortlessly is amazing. And they are incredibly strong. With little to no effort they were able to make a clean safe passage back to the surface for the Duck family in a matter of seconds. Their rock like exterior makes them almost impenetrable.

Honestly they would make the perfect soldiers for anybody.........

So why wouldn’t FOWL want them in their army? They certainly can find a use for them. One specific use in general:

To use the juice

The Bounce juice is an organic drink, so you can’t give it to an army of robots. And we’ve seen what happens when you give it to a normal person. Not much.

But the Terrafirmians with their already tough exterior (which was redesigned in this reboot series. From furry and plush to rocky and tough) would cause a lot of damage if they were bouncing around everywhere. Bouncing is how they operate. They bounce and crash into rocks. But instead of digging right through the earth they’ll bounce right off of it, creating vibrations.

That serum would be perfect for them. Perfect for FOWL. An impenetrable army that could cause so much destruction in an instant. It’s the perfect plan.

Think of the time gap between the two missions involving the bounce serum.

Why did Heron return after so much time had past?

For so many years she could’ve attempted to capture Beakley and get the serum information she needed. So many chances. Why wait? Why was FOWL so quiet for so long and then suddenly pick up where they left off DECADES ago?

What changed?

I’ll tell you what changed. The plan changed. The original idea they had for the serum.

When Heron was explaining the plan she didn’t really sound like she had all the pieces together. Just soldiers bouncing “here, there and everywhere”. It was messy and not well put together.

It sounded like a disorganized plan for an organization.

FOWLS original plan was incomplete and had too many errors. So it was unnecessary at the time. That’s why FOWL didn’t try to go after the juice the first time Heron failed to acquire it. They weren’t desperate. They didn’t need it then. They found it unnecessary.

So why is it now that they are trying to complete that mission? What makes now different from back then? Why is it now necessary to acquire the serum after all this time?

Because they found the final piece they needed.

The Terrafirmians

But wait! How are we even sure we’d see them ever again in this season? Well because we only saw 4-5 of them. There’s an entire civilization of these guys. Are we really not going to explore more of them? This season is all about Huey so why wouldn’t we go back to the first obstacle he faced in the series?

Think I’m crazy?

Remember what Bradford Buzzard said at the end of Double-O-Duck? “We’re going to take it from them. From right underneath McDucks nose” UNDERNEATH! That’s gotta be a clue.

Their FOWL base!! Its underground! They moved from a tower to an underground lair. WHY? The tower looked perfectly fine to me. It seemed to be working just fine. Why move underground? That’s another clue.

But how does Fitches journal (which was found UNDERGROUND) fit into all this? Well allow me to explain.

The Terrafirmians are a peaceful friendly tribe, that have no beef with surface dwellers. If they had a problem with them they would’ve showed up a long time ago. But they haven’t. It’s obvious they want peace.

This doesn’t fit in with FOWLS plan though. So they are looking for a way to change the Terrafirmians way of thinking. Take away their peaceful ideals. They want to corrupt them. Control them

Mind control.

They are looking for an artifact that helps with that. It’s become obvious that they are not looking to acquire every artifact in that journal.

If that was the case they would’ve been there to steal the Harp from the ducks or showed up after they left to take it. But they didn’t. Not a sign of them anywhere.

And they already have the third eye diamond. Found in their personal archives. (How that’s possible is full of theories that I will leave to someone else to work on lol)

But by the way it was presented in the episode Double-O-Duck, it didn’t seem like it was needed. Or important. Just a side project. Why?

Because they are after a SPECIFIC artifact. One that would help with controlling the Terrafirmians. That’s what Bradford meant by “The race is on”. The race to the final key they need. The final key like...

The Stone of What Was!

“STONE”. That’s already connected to the earth. There’s a chance this stone is with the Terrafirmians. Or it might be the case that this stone will help whoever has it find the hidden civilization that is the Terrafirmians.

Kinda strange they’re saving that one for last, don’t you think?

Could that be the final thing they need? Would that bring them total control? Who knows but it’s interesting that the creators of the series would save that adventure for last.

But wait, how does Fentons crystal fit into all of this? How would that help FOWL in anyway?

Well if my previous theory was correct, Gandra is already working on that solution.

See that’s the thing about theories everybody! When you do them, include everyone that applies to it!

Putting certain characters in scenarios that fit them. And that’s what I did with Gandra. Shes a scientist plus she has a connection with Fenton. Her and Fenton obviously are going to meet again. What else would she possibly work on?

She’s going to replicate Fentons experiment on a larger scale. Wrap the Terrafirmians in that same synthetic crystal, like clothing or Energy suits, to boost the power of their bounce.

The greater the bounce the greater the vibration.

FOWL is going to control an army of Terrafirmans, give them bounce juice and wrap them up in Fentons Synthetic crystal so they’ll be powerful enough to create INSTANT EARTHQUAKES!

But not in a city wide rage! Specific locations. FOWL said they don’t want to destroy the world. Just the Duck family. In fact they don’t want to destroy the world at all. But steal it from everybody else. What better way to do that then to have an army of earthquack making soldiers that can split up and target each individual family member and take them out unsuspectedly?

FOWL said it themselves they want to do things smarter. What’s smarter than an earthquake making army you can’t see coming that can take you out before you even know what’s going on? At anytime. ANYWHERE.

The very world itself would turn against the Duck family. It’ll be robbed from them!

They don’t call it “WORLD LARCENY” for nothing am I right?

Magica and Lunaris already tried taking the aggressive approach and failed. Now FOWL wants to do things more stealth like. In the shadows. Leaving no trail that will lead back to them. The charging head first method has failed multiple times so FOWL is trying something different.

Still think it’s crazy?

Well check this out:

What do you guys notice about this picture? For one thing it has every target that FOWL is after on it. But what else do you see? Where are they?

In the sky..

Now why would everybody meet up in the sky? Is it because maybe the ground is currently unsafe? Hmmmmmmmm?!

Brute force is not going to work this time. It’ll be a battle of intelligence. Lucky for us we have a duckling that can out brain all of FOWL

They might have an army

But we have a Huey...

I’m looking forward to seeing the outcome of this season. This hiatus WILL be the end of me I just know it lol but it gives us the fans plenty of time to figure this out. I’ll be looking forward to taking this journey with you all.

If I said it once this season I’ll say it again

BRING. IT. ON. F.O.W.L.

[carrottuan93]

Haven’t met you yet | Mark

Masterlist (1/4) | part2 - part3 - part4

Starring: MK x You

Tags: Mark Tuan, Fluff, Destiny, Waiting, Christmas, Bookworm, Nerd, Love, Fate

Total WC: 2631

Foreword: You promise yourself you’re going to wait for the perfect love even if it takes forever but you’re already barging on it’s doorstep without even realizing that love has met you already in the first place.

It’s all about timing and seeking reassurance in all the right places.

It’s a chance you never want to miss and an opportunity that you wouldn’t trade for anything.

Learn to take risks and learn to fall in love along the way. Cause true love is patient and it’ll come when you least expect it.

Have you been good all year round? You never know what Santa has in stored for you this Christmas.

[Feel free to listen on the playlist that I made for this one shot :)))]

"Eunhee, I should probably take a break from your endless blind date setups. Nothing is working out for me, seriously." You heaved a sigh, slouching on the couch as you gave your best friend an exasperated look the moment you entered her humble bookshop. She's too excited for your love life ever since she and her long-time university crush Jackson became an official couple on your birthday when you celebrated it on Jeju last year. It was a really cold New Year’s Eve when you chose to reserve this romantic restaurant by the beach as the venue for your special day. Eunhee doesn't have any idea about Jackson's plan when you booked a flight to Jeju Island for a week despite the busy season. Since you wanted to play the fairy godmother role for the both of them, you saved Jackson from worrying and suggested that he'd do it on your birthday instead. And just like that, they spent the New Year countdown melting into each other’s puddle while greeting you a happy birthday. The things you do for your friend, if that ain’t salty for your part (it is, for being the third wheel), automatically elected you as the sole Queen of singles club after Neun’s grand exit.

 Since their anniversary is just around the corner, they are planning to spend it once again on Jeju and Eunhee, for being the supportive sister from another mother that she is, will surely drag you with them at all costs since it has been your tradition to celebrate New Year’s Eve with your best friend. She is dying to set you up with someone so you won't be celebrating your birthday alone anymore.

 "I'm sorry, Y/N. I thought you and my friend Hae In will work out. What happened by the way? tell me about your date." She sat beside your spot after closing the shop and did the honor of pouring you a glass of your favorite merlot. This girl knows how to calm you down for sure. I mean she isn't your best friend if she have no idea that wine is your comfort drink. For whatever reason it is, you don't know why it helps to lessen your loneliness by drinking the night away. Maybe knocking you down into a deep slumber and finding yourself completely clueless the next day, alongside the horrible hangover can patch up the painful truth that you are still single up to this point of your life. In addition to the earthly and God-sent smell of neatly piled books crowding the interior of her paradise, Eunhee's bookshop is your go-to place at all times. You used to frequent this a lot during your childhood days where you first met her and together you shared the same passion and love for books and wine through all these years.

 "He's too overrated for my type. Like I don't know why we need to talk about all of his exes and why his relationship with them didn't work out when we can sit and be comfortable with just talking about our interests, 'us' the present and not his past. He's a perfectionist per se and I don't like it when a guy shows disinterest whenever I told them about myself as some nerdy bookish girl who craves for a netflix kind of night compared to his ideal dream girl-next-door whom you can freely bring to a club the minute next." You look down on the red liquid in your glass, appreciating its refined and classic smell that is clouding your nostrils. You're way too excited to go home so you can finally sink on your newly changed bed sheets and savor the enticing smell of fabric conditioner which you cannot live without. You glanced outside the window, observing the couples walking together under the falling snow, as if Valentines day has come all of a sudden in the middle of December. Red roses are a popular gift for the ladies as you've observed and you cannot help yourself from wondering if someone will ever give you flowers on Christmas, particularly pink roses, which you really admire. You always dreamt of tending a bed of pink roses only for yourself because the sight of it makes you really happy. It's just unfortunate that they aren't in full bloom during this season that's why you can only wait for February to come so you could save the trouble of finding a lame date and just buy yourself a bouquet for Valentines. You can give yourself flowers and still feel like in a relationship with all the fictional characters on your novels. No one is stopping you from dating them in your mind, you thought.

 “Ugh I can’t believe that guy. I thought he’s a good catch but actually a bummer for real. Don’t worry, I’ll choose better next time." She gave you a warm hug, patting your head as you lay your cheek on her shoulder. She released you and you gave her an 'I'm-okay-don't-worry' kind of smile. And you sat there for almost an hour talking about your other failed blind dates in the past week that all belongs in either Jackson or Eunhee's circle. You have no idea why none of them matched your personality. Either they are too wild or too boring for them to function as your potential boyfriend. No one could really captivate your specific taste in a guy. It's not that you are too picky and have a high standard when it comes to scouting a lover. You just have your own preferences when it comes to choosing someone whom you'll devote your precious time into. No relationship is perfect because everything is built out of flaws, misunderstandings, heartaches and drama but if you'll enter in a commitment at least choose someone who's worthy of that pain. You aren’t getting any younger and all you need right now is someone reliable, honest and trustworthy enough to not waste your feelings and emotion. You need a serious guy who will not take you for granted and who welcomes the idea of settling in the near future. At least someone with a nice job? Or a bearable attitude, outlook and philosophy in life? He doesn't need to be the most handsome or richest guy in the planet. After all, you always talk to God about giving you with someone who will really love all your imperfections and flawed nature. You always pray to the heavens above that maybe he'll cross the mountains and bring you the moon and the stars like they always did on the movies and in stories but you're fed with too much fantasy and began to think that maybe the guy for you was rather inexistent or an alien inhabiting a distant galaxy located in a million light years away.

 "A break is all I need after all. I will be fine tomorrow at Christmas eve. Don't worry about me having a date on our dinner. I'll bring some macarons as an antidote for all things bitter for you and Jackson's couple party." It's your best friend’s first Christmas with her boyfriend that's why they are throwing a mini gathering for their family and close friends. You had this feeling that you will be the only one attending the party without a date so might as well go straight to the kitchen and grab a bottle of whatever wine you can get and spend the evening dancing on tipsy toes and the floor would be very much pleased to accommodate your drunken needs. But you will not gonna end up wasted on a party especially Eunhee will not be there beside you to take you home since you do not want to rob Jackson of his time with her. Their happiness always matters before you and that's what makes you happy, to see your best friend happy with the man that he really deserves.

 "All right sweetcheeks. We'll not let you feel gloomy on Christmas eve. Good girls get a reward from Santa so you have nothing to worry about." She gave you a wink and clanked your glasses in unison as you both emptied the bottle of wine to your heart's content. You both agreed to watch a romantic holiday movie over a shared furry blanket and hear out your friend as she talked to you mostly of his boyfriend, as if you’ve read a book about the guide to 101 ways on how to fall for Jackson. Maybe the love bug bit too hard on your friend now that she really has the man of her dreams right on her fingertips, she can’t ask for anything else. Their love story is too underrated and you’re one of the living witnesses that a coin is never wasted on a wishing well. If you only joined Eunhee on her wishing spree every time you both pass by your University’s fountain of love, your coin bank would have gone empty by now. But you didn’t do it and saved all of your coins for yourself cause you really enjoy playing basketball in the arcades for fun. For all you can remember way back in college days, your friend is just one of the many timid girls who are cheering and admiring the ever-famous fencing athlete, business student and heartthrob, Jackson. You have classes together with him and that is how your job as a love guru began. You really deserve a raise because you did succeed on making them a couple. You could set up a dating agency and earn better than your current job for all you care. But amidst all the love advice that you gave to them, you’re the complete opposite of a matchmaker. Because love never finds your way despite making love work for the others. Love is sweet but a bitch most of the time.

 If love finally came to Eunhee and Jackson, hopefully yours would come in a whirlpool, sweeping you off of your feet and rendering all the other love stories made in the history irrelevant. You love spontaneity and you’re up for the extraordinary. In fact, you already made a dozen of playlists on spotify and counting, awaiting to be dedicated to him. You may have weird habits, like using ketchup as a dip for your honey glazed donuts, and still act straight and sit the whole day finishing a book with your favorite espresso at coffee shops. You love taking midnight trips to the art museum and you wonder if he can appreciate the abstract the way it makes your soul come alive. You love travelling back to time and studying history and it would be a bonus if he’ll join you on the 3% mint choco enthusiasts in the whole world. And your list goes on and on and it’ll take a lifetime to introduce yourself to someone but you want to meet him soon. You can’t wait for that time to annoy the hell out of him and if he still chooses to come back after your endless nagging, that’s the time when you’re not gonna let go of him anymore. You know for yourself, you’re looking for an almost perfect individual but you’re ready to tear up your never ending list of your ideal guy if someone could really surprise you and made you want to look at the world in a different dimension. After all, an ideal can never be achieved in real life. You cannot make someone ‘the one’ but you can only search for someone and make them ‘your one’. Things may not come out the way you want them to be but things will work out if he’s your destiny. It might be hard to find the rarest form of love, which is true love, but you’re willing to go on a train trip bound to a destination you’ve never been to given that he’ll meet you at the end of the tunnel. Love isn’t hard. Love is supposed to be easy. You just need patience and it’ll come to you when you least expect it.

 It's nearing 11 pm already when you feel lightheaded because of your wine intake and maybe due to the fact that your early sleeping schedule has been breached by tonight's unfortunate event. You bid goodbye to your friend despite her invitation that you should just sleep on her place and decided to call for an uber to save yourself from zoning out like a zombie because you can no longer walk straight with your clouded vision. Eunhee lives upstairs her bookstore because she manages her family's business when her father passed away that's why she isn't living with you anymore. You've grown to be independent now that you're living on your own after sharing the same apartment with your friend during your university days.

 "Tomorrow night at 8. I'll text you the address. Don't be late, Y/n. Have a goodnight!” Eunhee tucked you up nicely on your seat and soon the taxi sped up passing underneath the city lights in the mood for the radio's yuletide playlist. You're a bit drunk to see clearly but you can recognize the faint Christmas lights flickering throughout the busy streets. In just half an hour, the uber came to a stop and you hopped off the cab as you made your way towards the entrance of the condo that you’re residing in. You walked past the concierge and romantic music is donning the halls screaming love is in the air but not for you cause it makes you suffocated. Inside the elevator you noticed that you'll join a couple on your way to a 5-minute trip to the 12th floor. You silently wished that nobody would enter in between floors so as not to slow down your fast lane to your unit or else it'll be another episode of 'You-are-single-fgds' slapping your face. Geez, you badly want a damn break but the couple is too absorbed in their own selves, doing whatever cringey couple thing it is behind you, so you chose to ignore their reflection on the elevator walls.

 God spared you for that ride and luckily you reached the 12th floor in the fastest speed possible. You walked in a crazy zigzag pattern when you reached the front step of your door and you held on the handle to prevent yourself from falling directly on the ground. Your eyes are zooming in for the door lock as you punch in your keycode multiple times and still wonder why the door isn't granting you any access at all.

 "The fudge why aren't you opening?" You tried all possible combinations already but to no luck, you are still denied. For the 10th time, the lock gave up on you and is now urging for a password reset when all of a sudden the heavens finally heard your prayer and the door automatically opened. You fell towards a pair of arms, as if on cue you are saved once again from falling directly on the floor. You grabbed on a pair of shoulders, and you felt like you've reached your bed already as your senses are welcomed with a lovely scent of fabcon, which for you is the sweetest scent in the world.

 "Hmm. I can finally sleep now." You smiled the moment you felt safe and secured within the parameters of what you think of as your bed.

"Wait, you cannot sleep on my arms." It's too late for you to wake up because you're already dozing off to dreamland.

"Oh shoot. What am I gonna do with you?" You barged into someone's room and you haven't had the slightest idea of what you'll gonna do the next morning when you wake up.

[cherrylining]

Kakuriyo Light Novel Volume 6, Chapter 1: The perfect taste for the autumn harvest of new rice

This work was translated from this website. All credits go to 友麻碧 and 深夜读书会. I do not own anything.

Whoo, here you go. Volume 6 baby!

This takes place after the anime, so it’s all uncharted territory basically.

Previous Chapter

“Aoi-san, we’re already at our limit!”

“Um! Do we have to stop here for today……”

This is Moonflower, and the time is late September. 

I- Tsubaki Aoi, am frowning due to inner regret, leaning in close to stare at the refrigerator with few ingredients left. 

The situation before me is like being cut off by the enemy forces, facing the desperate situation of trying to do everything. Today’s business should be able to do only this much, and we won’t be able to accept any more customers.

As usual, Moonflower’s operations are understaffed, often becoming too busy to deal with. On days where there are particularly many guests, the ingredients may be exhausted halfway, forcing Moonflower to close early; yet if the sufficient amount is prepared in advance, the day’s business might be particularly deserted. It is really difficult to catch a balance.

Furthermore, I’m alone in managing the affairs of the store and I feel like I can’t keep doing so anymore. It’s really a problem. 

“Although the previous incident at Orio-ya, including the ceremony details, was quietly covered up, it still caused enthusiastic debate among the citizens of the Hidden World. In all aspects, Aoi-san has managed to become the topic here, receiving even more interest from the ayakashi, leading the name of Moonflower to be passed along to great distance……”

After closing up shop, Ginji-san and I sat on the bar counter for a short break. We bit into the dried persimmons that we got from a customer while sipping our tea. 

“Ginji-san, while your tone is full of emotion, I did not voluntarily make a name in the Hidden World.”

“Mmm, I understand. It is the ayakashi who are actively focusing on you…… But thanks to that, Moonflower’s business is flourishing!”

Originally tired, Ginji-san’s expression suddenly changed and showed a face full of joy, but my heart was full of uneasiness at the same time.

From a debt-owing standpoint, of course I would like to see a prosperous business. However, if the operating methods in the store are not adjusted or improved, I have a feeling that it will affect the standard of the meals sooner or later, leading me to feel sorry for the customers that specially come to the door.

Ah…...let’s change the topic for a moment, this persimmon is really delicious. The sweetness exuded from the soft part inside and the slight remain of the bitter flavor is what I particularly like. 

Although there are many people who hate persimmons, this is a snack that grandpa used to eat. It has a familiar taste to me.

“It seems…...that it’s almost time for Moonflower to hire a new employee.”

“New employee? But you’re right, relying on just Ginji-san and I, is really a bit tough…...”

I agree with Ginji-san’s proposal. Ever since the opening of Moonflower, it has just been the two of us working hard together along the way.

But Ginji-san also has other departments that he has to manage. 

I think the store should just straight up hire new people for help.

“In order to let Aoi-san focus on her cooking, first of all, we should increase the number of waiters in the field. I will try to post a sign on the bulletin board of Tenjin-ya before I start.” 

“I wonder what kind of people will come to apply……”

Why am I saying it like I have decided to hire a new person……

“Mistress Aoi is too much!”

A ghost fire suddenly appeared from my necklace. It was Ai. 

She puffed her cheeks angrily with the same appearance as me. 

“You already have me as a follower, and still want to hire new employees! You should just let me work then!”

“Huh? Do you want to work so much, Ai?”

“Haven’t I always strongly asked?”

Was this the case? I tried to think about it. 

Ai showing up from the necklace has basically only been during dinner time, or to find Chibi to play with. 

I’ve always thought of her as an ayakashi that has yet to grow up, so I’ve never thought of accepting her as an employee. 

“But Ai, you always become tired after coming out for a while, and then run back into the necklace, don’t you? Furthermore, if you have the same appearance as me, it feels like there are two mes in Moonflower, which is very weird.”

“......would it be weird?”

Ai and I both looked at Ginji-san.

Our expressions seem to be asking for his opinion: “Hey, what do you think?”

“Uh, well…...since Ai knows best what Aoi-san is thinking, I would of course like to have you help. But if you maintain the same appearance as Aoi-san, I think it is a bit inappropriate.”

“Why, why do you say so? Young master, I also want to try my best……”

Ai pleaded tearfully with Ginji-san. Saying that with my face seemed to have confused and panicked Ginji-san. His eyes shifted, and he stuttered a reply: “But…… this……”

“This feels like it will confuse the customers. Mistakenly thinking that it’s me, but it turning out to be Ai; or in reverse, mistaking me for Ai.”

“This is indeed one of the problems…… But, disregarding the operations of the store first, having a follower that can change their appearance to match the master’s is actually extremely precious. This may be better to not share with the world.”

“Is it?”

“Mmm. Having a look-alike avatar can serve as your last life saving trump card. But on the other hand, it may also be used unscrupulously by people. So if possible, I hope you will try your best to not highlight Ai’s existence……”

Ginji-san glanced at Ai to see her biting her lower lip with tears like a child, and then scratched his head in distress.

“If you want Ai to work in this store, you may need two conditions- one is that she can’t doze during work hours, and two, she has to transform into a new appearance.”

“......New appearance.”

Ai and I tilted our heads in uncomprehension. 

Not being able to doze during work hours is understandable. This was obvious. 

“Does this mean that you want her to change into someone other than me?”

“No, it means that I’m asking her to learn to change into a new appearance of her own- also her own original look.”

“Ori, original look?”

These words seem to make Ai confused. 

“Let me think of how to explain…...For example, Tokihiko-san from Orio-ya. He used to be a small demon fire, and now has his own appearance instead of copying others. There’s a big difference in imitating others and creating your own appearance, so I’m not sure if Ai-san, who is still so young, has such a capability……”

However, Ai raised one hand up high and vowed: “I want to give it a try!”

“I, I will work hard to create my own appearance!”

“Oh……” (T/N: this is said in agreement)

Looking at Ai’s energetic appearance, Ginji-san and I applauded softly to show admiration.

“However, it’s almost time for me to sleep, so I’m going back into the necklace first.”

“......”

Ai immediately became a ghost fire, and returned back into the necklace. 

The necklace gleamed with gently pulsing light, like the breaths of Ai as she slept peacefully.

“Compared to the appearance problem, this seems to be a bigger one.”

“The reason that she would need to sleep so often may be because she’s still growing. When she grows up, she should be able to stay up like a normal ayakashi, since ayakashi have no need for sleep in the first place.”

“Listening to you say that, the sleep time of the employees in Tenjin-ya is indeed very short. I originally thought it was an illegal business or the like, but it turns out that this is not the case……”

“Uh, no no no! How could it be an illegal business, Tenjin-ya’s treatment can be considered quite superior in the Hidden World. It’s just that the business is busy.”

“Huh? Why does this answer seem to be a bit of a walk through a gray area.”

Forget it, anyway, I get enough sleep every day and have a holiday tomorrow, so I don’t have any comments. 

But no matter how, every business day is still very busy. If Ai could help, I couldn’t be more happy.

“Aoi, I want to eat.”

“Ah, that guy is here.”

“That guy” that I referred to was a certain snow woman. 

That is, the former young proprietress, now waitress, Oryo. She arrived at Moonflower as usual after getting off work.

“Sorry, Oryo, there is nothing left today.”

“Huuuuuuuuuuhhhh! Again? What about rice? You don’t even have rice?”

“If it’s white rice, I can just cook it again, but we don’t have any dishes. And tomorrow, Moonflower is taking a break. There aren’t any ingredients left.”

“Then just cook white rice for me. Anyway, I like rice the most, and just the new rice will taste delicious.”

“......”

If you want to eat just white rice, you can go wherever you want…...Ginji-san and I lowly exchanged whispers. 

However, seeing that Oryo had already been lazily sitting on the bar seat, I helplessly spit out a “Really, what should I do with you” and stood up to prepare the white rice.

As Oryo said, it is now the most delicious season for new rice. 

Especially in the land of the Ogre Gate, where the high-end brand rice ‘Ogre Sui Xiang’ is produced, the rice is harvested between late August and early September and immediately polished, launching in the market at this time. 

Moonflower also uses this kind of fragrant Ogre rice, its specialty being that every grain of rice is saturated with water.Therefore, the rice can be cooked with lesser water, and will be more delicious. Although I want to let the rice soak for half an hour, I wonder if Oryo has the patience to wait……

“Hey, Oryo-san!”

Following closely behind was a young girl with chestnut-brown hair, striking raccoon dog ears and a ball of furry round tail. 

She is one of the waitresses from Tenjin-ya, Kasuga. 

“You forgot your corkscrew in the banquet hall. Oryo-san, you rushed to Moonflower immediately after work, and the new waiters can’t find you anywhere. But I kept it first, and said that I would help hand it over to you.”

“Ah, really? Kasuga, you’re an errand girl in front of even your juniors?” 

“The main reason also lies with you, Oryo-san. Everyone is very serious about their work attitudes.”

“Ah, yes yes yes, Kasuga you work very hard too.”

I don’t know whether it was because Oryo was tired after just finishing work or what, but she responded causally without any real interest and patted Kasuga’s hair. 

Then she took the corkscrew that had an ice bell hanging from its head, and stuffed it directly into her kimono belt.

‘Dingling~~’ The clear sound of the bell rang out.

“That ice bell is so beautiful.”

“Well, I would never gift it to you, Kasuga.”

“I don’t want it either okay…...I’m just asking you to take better care of it in the future.”

Kasuga replied in frustration and sighed. It was hard to tell who was the senior from this response. 

“Ah, that’s right. Young master, the Odanna is looking for you.”

“Eh! Really? Kasuga-san. Right, it could be about the autumn festival…...Aoi-san, I’ll say goodbye for now and head to the main inn.”

“Mmm, you’ve worked hard, Ginji-san.”

Ginji-san quickly nodded to me, and left Moonflower in a hurry.

“Kasuga ah, you’re still the same as before, being entrusted with so many tasks.”

“Yeah, everyone uses me as an errand girl, but I’m used to it, so it doesn’t matter.”

Kasuga lightly sits on the seat next to Oryo. It seems like she also decided on eating plain white rice from the new rice here.

“Aoi, is it not done yet? I’m hungry. I thought using the Hidden World rice cooker would have it done in a matter of minutes?” 

“Aiyo, Oryo, wait patiently for a while. It’s rare to use such good new rice, so it should soak in the water for a while.”

“Huh? You don’t have to work so hard. Hurry up, start cooking. I’m so hungry.”

If it was the usual me, I would start cooking because I can’t convince her. But in order to taste the deliciousness of the new rice, I want to do my best and choose the most exquisite cooking method.

However, Oryo’s patience seemed to have reached a limit. She began to smack the counter table. 

“Aoi, Aoi~~ rice, let me eat rice~~”

“Hey hey hey, that baby over there! Stop smacking, this table is already an old antique.”

I can’t stand it, Oryo is so capricious.

“Hey, is there anything to eat?”

It was no surprise that Akatsuki would show up now. 

Oryo, Kasuga and Akatsuki- the three of them always come here and become food-scrounging ayakashi. 

“Akatsuki, I need to apologise first, we don’t have a single ingredient left today. Oryo said she’s okay with just eating white rice, so I’m about to cook it now.”

“Then I’ll have white rice too, do you have any pickled vegetables?”

Akatsuki chose to sit two spaces beside Kasuga, which was the same as usual. 

“There are many ingredients for bibimbap. I’ll put it on the table later. There’s no other way to say it, ayakashi really love rice.”

I finally moved the rice cooker onto the stove, and cooked it on the fire. The Hidden World’s rice cooker can cook fragrant rice in less than 5 minutes, which is really convenient. 

“Akatsuki, I heard you didn’t use any of your special leaves this year? Do you not even have a girlfriend, and have only work as an interest? Is there really such a man.”

I don’t know if Oryo was bored to craziness or hungered to craziness. She bypassed Kasuga to find fault with Akatsuki. She has such a bad habit, always messing with the younger ayakashi just for the fun of it. 

But Akatsuki, who had finished working for the day, was exhausted and returned her comment with an impatient expression. 

“You should learn more about how to have some fun. A guy like you, who looks like he has a bad temper and doesn’t know how to relax and have some fun, won’t be welcomed among girls no matter how hard working you are.”

“Oryo, stop nagging me.”

“Wow! You have no respect! I’m older than you in terms of qualifications, and I’m older than you in terms of age!”

“That means nothing. Now that you don’t have the title of young proprietress, you’re just another waitress. Comparing the front desk manager and waitress, obviously I’m greater.”

“Hmph! What a displeasing man!”

“Oryo-san, you’re so noisy.”

Oryo’s high pitched voice was too ear damaging, leading Akatsuki and Kasuga to cover their ears. 

However I just listened to their conversation silently, and opened the kitchen refrigerator in the store.

Although there are not enough ingredients to make a decent dish, there are a few frequently prepared side dishes. After taking out these side dishes, I quietly laughed to myself. Ha ha ha, ha ha ha……

“Aoi let out a very strange laugh.”

“......Anyway, she must be thinking about something related to cooking.”

“Don’t even talk about us, she’s an ayakashi who cooks all the time.”

The three who were still quarreling a second ago now began to lowly exchange bad words about me. 

But I didn’t pay them any attention. 

The long-awaited new rice was finally done. I let the white rice stay in the pot for a while and then opened it. The rising heat was accompanied by the fragrance, which made my stomach grunt involuntarily. 

Mix the freshly cooked rice in a cutting motion, then put it into the wooden rice bucket. 

I pinched the rice that was sticking on the back of the rice spoon and tasted it. The chewiness and sweetness of the new rice were a real treat.

“If it’s white rice, there are so many shops around for that. Here, eat to your heart’s content.”

I placed the rice bucket on the bar counter and helped Akatsuki and Kasuga to fill up normal rice bowls, while filling Oryo’s in the large bowl that she usually used. 

Each grain of rice that was overflowing from the bowl was full and shiny. It really was a tastiness that only new rice had. 

“Yeah, I’m going to start!”

Oryo picked up the chopsticks and the big bowl, and without another word, started eating the white rice in big mouthfuls. 

Huh…...I can finally close her mouth. 

“Kasuga, Akatsuki, both of you are hungry right? Please, eat.”

“Yeah. But to eat it plainly just like Oryo, is a little bit hard to swallow……”

“Do you not have any side dishes or the like, Aoi?”

“Hoho, how about using this for bibimbap?”

I placed a jar in between Kasuga and Akatsuki.

They were stunned at first, then carefully looked at the contents of the jar. 

Kasuga seemed to immediately get it. 

“Ah! I know. This is boiled mushrooms, right?”

“That’s right. Using the large amounts of mushrooms that were harvested in the fall to make this homemade side dish, it is a perfect match with the white rice. Recently, the autumn orders in the store would order for a match like this.”

I opened the bottle cap, used the wooden spoon to pick up a full scoop of boiled mushroom sauce, and placed them in both of their rice bowls. The cooked mushrooms were the colour of coffee, and slowly flowed down the top of the white rice hills……

This side dish used enoki, beech and shiitake mushrooms, seasoned with the favourite sweet soy sauce of the ayakashi. 

In addition to the sugar, mirin and cooking wine, which are necessary ingredients in general practice, I also added red pepper and vinegar to give the sweetness a slightly spicy taste, accompanied by a slightly sour taste.

For frequently prepared side dishes, this is a very good dish that matches everything. Excluding matching it with rice, it is also very tasty to have with cold tofu or boiled vegetables. 

Kasuga and Akatsuki half mixed the boiled mushrooms with rice and half swept it into their mouths in big bites. 

“Well, eating is especially delicious when you are hungry.”

“......This is really delicious.”

The chewing sounds of enoki mushrooms from the both of them made a crisp and sweet sound. 

Oryo was possibly sick of eating just white rice, and felt curious about the boiled mushrooms that Kasuga and Akatsuki were enjoying. She had been secretly eyeing the jar from the beginning……

“Oryo, take it if you want to eat it-”

But Oryo didn’t even listen to me finish, and had already snatched the jar away.

“Ahh! My rice buddy!”

“Oryo, you really took it for yourself! This is too low!”

 “Kasuga, Akatsuki, don’t be worried. I still have some here.”

I couldn’t bear it, and found several side dishes that went well with rice to bring to them.

There are plum meat hijiki fragrant pine, miso puree with lotus root added, and vinegared kombu white radish……

The daily set meal in the eatery will always have side dishes that pair well with rice, so I usually make several kinds of preserved spares.

“This is personally my highly recommended side dish. Dried hijiki boiled in water and crispy dried plum meat chopped randomly are fried together with bonito broth until it is dry. It is very good with white rice.” 

Bearing the painful loss of the boiled mushroom sauce, Akatsuki then tried to use the plum meat lamb lettuce fragrant pine to pair with the white rice. 

The crispy taste and sourness of the plum meat together with the rich and fresh sweetness of the hijiki, covering each grain of rice, was another delightful taste. This fragrant pine alone could give people a type of satisfaction without need of any other side dishes. In addition, it is also recommended to mix it with white rice and knead it into a rice ball to enjoy. The taste will also be very good. 

One after another, Akatsuki also tried some minced-miso meat and pickled kelp white radish. Seeing that these side dishes were being eyed by Oryo again, I took a small dish and separated a little for her. 

With an increase in the varieties of side dishes, it painted a colourful vision that could be enjoyed fully by the viewers. There was also a hesitation of deciding what to eat next, which made me jump for joy.

It’s nice to occasionally enjoy the pure taste of new rice like this.

I decided to also have dinner like this, so I walked back to the kitchen to get my usual rice bowl. At this moment……

“Ahhh! I remember!”

Right, there were still two pieces of autumn salmon fish freezing in the refrigerator, usually used in the cooking of the employees’ breakfasts.

It just needed to be taken out and thawed, and I could make one more side dish!

“Hehehe, when it comes to the classic ways of accompanying rice, of course it has to be the salmon floss……” 

Without saying anything else, I put the salmon pieces on a demon-fire powered defrosting disc to thaw, removed the skin and dry fried its surface, adding salt, broth, mirin, wine and other seasonings before turning it down to low heat. I then used the wooden spatula to loosely separate the salmon pieces and stir fried it, easily serving it. Hehe, hehehe…….

“Weird, Aoi is laughing in the kitchen again.”

“I can smell fried fish.”

“Hey, Aoi! Why are you secretly frying salmon in the kitchen alone! Don’t think you can fool my nose!”

“......Don’t worry, Kasuga, Oryo, Akatsuki, I made enough for everyone to eat together.”

Coming to the final step before starting the pan- after the salmon meat has dried and become loose, pour the white sesame and sesame oil into the pan, and stir-fry it slightly. 

And the homemade salmon floss is completed. It’s just that simple to make it. 

“I’m ready to start! This is the invincible rice buddy- the dry-fried salmon bits loved by men, women and children. You would better understand it by straight-up calling it fragrant salmon, right?”

“Oh oh oh……”

“It smells so fragrant.”

Bringing the fragrant salmon bits before them, Oryo and Akatsuki immediately exclaimed.

Their rice bowls were already empty, and they were trying to get another bowl. Really, these two. This time, they started to quarrel over grabbing the rice spoon in front of the rice bucket, so Kasuga automatically ran to get another. At the end of the day, she really is the most mature person here…...

“Ah, it’s finally my turn to sit down and eat a meal!”

After a lot of work, I finally picked up my rice bowl and added some white rice, and deeply savoured supper. 

First of all, let’s taste the fluffy and delicate, fresh fragrant salmon bits.

Whether it is used for making rice balls or as a side dish of a bento, it is a very popular bibimbap ingredient. 

Generally, bottled salmon floss is also available on the market. Although the ready made ones are also really good, I will still try to make them myself so that I can adjust the taste and texture to my liking. 

Use a spoon to scoop up a spoonful of bright pink-orange salmon floss, put it on the freshly cooked white rice, and sweep it into the mouth while mixing. 

Ah ah…… this autumn salmon that brings with it delicious fat, really is the taste of autumn. Although I chose to mash the whole piece of salmon into minced meat to make fragrant loose bits, the deliciousness and saltiness match the sweetness of the white rice really well. In addition, the added white sesame and sesame oil also work, releasing a compelling aroma in the mouth along with the taste of salmon. 

“Ah, this is really delicious, I feel like I can have another big bowl of rice……”

“Oryo-san will get fat if you continue to eat, but I also want to have another bowl……”

“Sure enough, eating salmon in the autumn is a must. It really goes well with rice.”

Everyone seems to be very satisfied with the fragrant salmon floss. 

Ah! Damn. Mouthful after mouthful of white rice, I couldn’t stop myself…… I’ll end up consuming too much carbohydrates like this……

Adding the miso minced meat with lotus root was also great. The rich miso-flavored ground meat was paired with crispy lotus roots, altogether with rice. If you want to eat something refreshing to change up the taste, come try pickled kelp white radish and enjoy the crispy taste……

“Aoi-dono……”

At this moment, Sasuke, the gardener of Tenjin-ya, came to Moonflower.

Sasuke was still clad in his ninja uniform, but carried a big bamboo basket with him. 

What was inside turned out to be fresh red-shelled eggs.

“This is a batch of eggs laid by the cassowary in the evening. The Odanna told the young master that it was unbearable to see that the lot of you have only rice to eat, so he ordered me to send the eggs here. That way, you can mix it with your rice.” 

“......”

We felt an electric shock like a flint was struck.

Raw eggs. This is the best product among all others in accompanying rice, crowned.

Not good. Suddenly there’s TKG (Note: TKG is the abbreviation of ‘raw egg bibimbap’ in Japanese, taken from the first letter of its Roman pinyin.). I didn’t expect to be able to make raw egg bibimbap with new rice…...

“Ah, I want another bowl.”

“Ah! Oryo, you’re too deceitful, I want one too.”

“I want one too, since there are now eggs.” 

These lot of ayakashi continued to eat bowl after bowl of rice in the dead of night. Forget it, I don’t intend to stop them.

“I would also like to fill my stomach with rice to my heart’s content.”

“Yeah, Sasuke, come and sit down too.”

Everyone at the scene couldn’t hide their expectations for the raw egg bibimbap.

Make a hole in the middle of the hot white rice and beat the egg in, so that the moving raw egg fills the gap perfectly. 

The yolk of the cassowary eggs is bright yellow. The plump and shiny outer membrane is full of irresistible charm. 

Ahh, just by looking at it, I already knew this was going to taste absolutely delicious!

“Raw egg bibimbap is definitely best matched with sweet sauce from the Hidden World.”

I chose the most classic combination. 

“Soy sauce is also not bad, but a few drops of sesame oil is also great.”

Oryo really took the rich route. 

“Is eating it with tsukemen sauce and green wasabi a minority route……”

Akatsuki glanced aside and muttered, but it sounded good. 

“I always eat it with citrus vinegar and soy sauce. If there are bonito flakes and fried noodle balls, I will also add them.”

Kasuga’s preferred taste always brings a feel of Tanuki color. (Note: ‘Tanuki-color’ - In Japanese, the pronunciation of “Tanuki” also refers to “oolong or soba noodles with fried noodle balls”.) (T/N: I have NO idea what this means, but I’m pretty sure it’s a pun?)

“I always eat the original flavor.”

Sasuke’s preferred taste is very simple and neat. 

“Yeah, good. Let’s all enjoy it the way we like.”

In response to the needs of everyone present, I prepared various seasonings and placed them in the center of the table. 

I still pursued the classic, dripping a few drops of soy sauce on the egg yolk, and mixed it with my rice after piercing it with my chopsticks. What is it with the moment of happiness that emerges at this? 

First of all, to taste the unmixed mixture, I first dig up a mouthful of the egg yolk that has not completely dissipated. 

“Ah ah…… the texture of the first bite of the raw bibimbap really is different.”

This is the moment when you can most enjoy the rich flavor of the egg yolk. Eat this first bite first, then fully stir the egg white and rice well, and enjoy the authentic raw egg bibimbap. 

“Hey, listen to me, this lotus root miso meat mash is super good with raw egg bibimbap!”

Kausga’s new discovery brought everyone’s focus to the miso mash. 

Oh oh, the two really match, what an amazing discovery!

Raw egg bibimbap is really a great invention. Just the egg with rice is so delicious, and a little bit of thought on the seasoning can create a variety of different flavors and become even more amazing. 

“It seems that you are all eating with gusto.”

“Ah, Odanna-sama.”

The Odanna and Ginji-san came to Moonflower together. 

Oryo, Kasuga, Akatsuki and Sasuke, who in the previous second had forgotten me and had been greatly gulping down their food, now stopped their movements to stand up and bow deeply to the Odanna. 

“It’s fine, it’s fine, you should all continue eating, it’s rare to get so many eggs after all.”

They seemed to have been waiting for this sentence of permission from the Odanna, and immediately returned to their positions and continued to eat.  

“Hey, what’s the matter with you, Odanna-sama? It’s been a while since you showed up here. Do the both of you want to eat raw egg bibimbap too? There are still a lot of eggs and white rice.” 

“No thanks, I just had a meal at the banquet party just now.”

“I also had a few drinks. The alcohol is a bit strong, so…… well, please let me start later.”

Both Ginji-san and the Odanna do seem to be a little bit drunk. 

The need for socialising at work is necessary, of course, but everything seemed fine, so why was the Odanna here? 

Taking advantage of this conversation, the Odanna suddenly offered me an invitation. 

“Aoi, Moonflower will rest tomorrow, right? If you have time, why not go out on a date with me.”

“......what?”

The four who had been eating before now momentarily stopped their chopsticks.  

But the Odanna, who had voiced out the sentence and seemed to be in a good mood, just continued on with a smile: 

“After the incident at Orio-ya, I haven’t been able to reward you well, and even continued to let you keep busy with the business in the store. And I myself wasn’t able to spare you any time, so I feel sorry for you. Personally, I hope to create a happy time for you, Aoi, my newlywed……”

“But I’m happy every day.”

“Right! Let’s go enjoy ourselves at the orchard. Pick some grapes or apples or something, and we can even use them as ingredients- what do you think!”

The Odanna held my shoulders tightly. I’ve always felt that his expressions were always too strong. 

Asking me how I feel, I also……

“Apples and grapes huh……”

I pressed my index finger to my chin, and began to imagine it in my mind. These two fruits are indeed the seasonal specialties that are particularly delicious in autumn. 

“Yeah, let’s go then, Odanna-sama- I’m really interested in the orchard!”

“Aoi, I’m so glad you agreed.”

The Odanna breathed a sigh of relief and wiped the sweat from his forehead. 

The lot that were eating their raw egg bibimbap behind me also resumed moving their chopsticks. 

“Aoi-san, the orchard is located in the mountainous area at the junction of our northeastern land and the neighboring northern land. The maple season arrives earlier on that mountain. I heard that it has all turned red already. Please be sure to enjoy the beautiful scenery tomorrow.”

“Ginji-san, you’re not going?”

“Me? I……”

“Ginji, you have also been too busy to take a vacation because of what happened at Orio-ya last time, right? Do you want to come together tomorrow?”

The Odanna also offered him an invitation. Ginji-san looked at the two of us however, then smiled slightly and shook his head. 

“No thanks, I…… I want to stay in the inn, and help guard Tenjin-ya for the both of you, who will be out.”

Ginji-san’s response was just like his usual style. 

But as he was rejecting the invitation, he did not look at me at all.

[signor-signor]

Trending 27th - January 2020

What have been your efforts in the campaign for SaveWOY and what are your upcoming plans to save WOY? Now this is a question worth answering!

In the past, I made a little list of the things I did to support SaveWOY and bring awareness to Wander Over Yonder’s existence and its third season plans. Since then, I’ve done a whole lot more from hand-drawn art to more intricate art. Some of them are almost as special as that signed poster @peepsqueak got from the WOY crew as a token of their gratitude.

Here’s an updated list of everything I did for SaveWOY so far:

Attended the SaveWOY picnic at Griffith Park, where I got to sign a banner.

Pointed out various higher-ups involved in the business of Disney television.

Sent several letters to the higher-ups, some of which had envelopes with an image of the downed space pod taped to them.

Started a weekly Twitter post series, SaveWOY Thought of the Week.

Made Lite-Brite art of Wander and Lord Hater, which Craig McCracken and Francisco Angones liked.

Attended D23 2017 with an Operation: FORCE drawing of Hater, a colored page of Wander and Sylvia and a few facts about WOY, and an orange pen with a green hat (I got the hat from the aforementioned picnic) - there, I signed a bench with Wander and the phrase, “Never hurts to help.”

Signed my name, drew Wander (and my own character, Jacken DeBox), and wrote, “Happiest place in outer space!” on the highest beam for Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge.

Wrote a letter (and drew Wander) for the victims of the Las Vegas tragedy with the message, “The darkest times call for the sunniest smiles!”

Got Craig to reveal the name of the ship (said to play a BIG part in S3, made a cameo in Future-Worm) when I commented that we’d have to figure out the name - his response: “The ship is called The Star Nomad.”

Wrote a couple of cards to two Disney higher-ups with the message, “A little nice makes naughty think twice!”

Drew Dominator in a situation that might take place several seconds after she passes the downed space pod, just in time for Noël Wells’s B-day.

Made the Star Nomad with LEGO Digital Designer.

Made three images in the style of the original Star Wars trilogy VHS set.

Posted 50 WOYS3PredictionPolls on Twitter.

Made an image of “The First 5 Years” with over 140 individuals (including the question marks for 3 new mains and 2 new regulars - I still want to know what they look like!) and one cleverly made Hidden Mickey.

Shared WOY-related images from my 1st 5 Years fan art on Twitter acknowledging the B-days of most of the voice actors (Charlie Adler, Kevin Michael Richardson, Ken Marino, Josh Sussman, H. Michael Croner, James Adomian, Jason Ritter, and Piotr Michael clearly noticed).

Typed a summary of how I think the S3 premiere would go.

Typed lyrics to “Let’s Go Soarin’ and Explorin’,” a song from my aforementioned S3 premiere summary. Wouldn’t it be great if Andy Bean used it?

Made a microgame with WarioWare: D.I.Y. where the player has to spin the fan to make the Star Nomad fly. Part of a chorus from “Let’s Go Soarin’ and Explorin’” included.

Started FanCharacterFriday on Twitter - more Tumblr users seem to like Dr. Otmar Vunderbar.

Made a short comic page of Lord Hater trying to break out of the DTVA vault plus a sly reminder that Disney owns the rights to WOY.

Shared a list of potential episode titles for S3.

Made an actual LEGO Star Nomad based on the model made with LDD. Hopefully, those who worked on WOY have noticed. In case you missed it, here’s a picture...

Now, the ideas I have in mind for further boosting support for the campaign. I may not be able to do most of them myself, but they are certainly for everyone’s consideration.

Provide updated information of higher-ups (if any).

As soon as we find out what Kid Cosmic looks like, expect fan art of him saying, “Watch my show and tell your friends so we’ll make that Mousey Company pay for what they did to my half-brother!”

Another SaveWOY picnic - if there’s one in my general area, you can count me in.

LP album artwork of My Fair Hatey.

A mural identical to that of Super Smash Bros. Ultimate consisting of not just characters from WOY, but also characters who were said to debut in S3 and characters who’d fit in perfectly, namely some of my OCs.

Pumpkin stencils of the main characters for Halloween.

Drawings of various WOY characters stuck on the ex-secret planet explaining why they need to leave said planet. Maybe I could also show how the galaxy’s villains would react if they learn that Lord Dominator’s been bested by Lord Hater.

Drawings consisting of SaveWOY-related messages spoken by the main characters from Disney shows that got at least three seasons (e.g. DuckTales, Fish Hooks), tons of love from the viewers and the executives (e.g. Gravity Falls), or both (e.g. SvtFoE, Mickey Mouse ‘13).

Example with Phineas and Ferb:

Phineas: “We may be creative and famous, but we’re not the ones who came up with the Star Nomad. It’s the ship powered by orbbles! Orbbles! I’d LOVE to see it take flight, wouldn’t you? If you let Mr. McCracken end the show his way, and not the executive way, which, truth be told, is the absolute worst, Wander will surely be elated!”

Ferb: “The Orbble Transporter was invented by conjoined twin brothers, voiced by the performers of the theme song.”

Irving (peeking in from the side): “Speaking of voices, the titular main character sounds JUST LIKE ME! How could you possibly resist?! And look, just because I’m the biggest fan of these guys (gesturing to P&F) doesn’t mean I have no interest in what’s planned for the furry orange fella!”

Since I’m a full-time Disneyland cast member, I should be able to make contacts with anyone who might have more clues about what S3 would entail. It might be a long shot, but if I’m able to convince Disney that WOY’s influence on my life boosted my chance at gaining employment at the company, they should understand.

A weekly Jeopardy-type pop quiz on Twitter - here’s the catch: you must refrain from finding information online when you read the answer (I bet you that the most hardcore fans of the most popular shows will get most of the questions wrong).

Example: This arachnomorph got his name from a dog tag he swallowed when he infiltrated a fish-shaped ship. He later became Lord Hater’s beloved pet.

-Who is Captain Tim?

Summaries of S3 episodes I made up myself a while back.

More fan-made characters - my most recent is an elected official of Cluckon, Mayor Spye C. Drumstick.

Conjuring a logo that best fits the status of S3/TV movie - Wander Over Yonder: The New Galaxy (the center would have the silhouette of the Star Nomad with Wander and Sylvia on it).

Brainstorming possible ideas for the three new main characters.

If all else fails, I suggest we make a web comic based on the hints we accumulated back in 2016 and what we learned from the cameo in Future-Worm’s finale. Team Sea3on has been taking that approach for SatAM Sonic the Hedgehog S3, though they are also making an animated version.

That’s about all I’ve got so far. In closing, I have several questions to ask as the new decade kicks off.

Disney executives: Are you even listening to us WOY fans? What more do you want? I’ve done so much for the campaign that I feel I’m entitled to know everything that was planned for WOY’s third and final season, especially now that I’m working full-time for your company. If you tell us what your demands are, we’d be happy to oblige.

@crackmccraigen: Are you aware of how hard the fans and I have been trying to talk Disney into giving you the chance for true closure? We’ll make sure we watch KC when it comes out on Netflix. If we’re lucky, we might see WOY get added to Disney+, where it should get that closure, assuming you’ll have finished KC your way before then.

@suspendersofdisbelief: I know you’re super busy with DuckTales and you love the plans for WOY S3 so much that you can’t bear to reveal it all in one post, but it’s been waaaay too long since we got any hints from you. Are there any other WOY S3-related facts you could describe in much greater detail? The campaign could do with more motivation.

Non-WOY fans: Are you convinced? Need I remind you what’s in the end tag of the “last” episode of WOY? You know there’s much more to life than tales from the land of Ooo, a blue middle school cat boy in a world of unusual individuals, adolescent twins in an Oregon town filled with oddities, a half-gem half-human protagonist, a coming-of-age princess of Mewni, a trio of ursine trend-followers in San Francisco, and all that jazz. If you’re not one bit interested in Hater’s origin story and all that was planned for S3, it’s your loss.

Pessimists: Will you please dispense with this unnerving “Wander is dead” talk? As a certain Popeye would say, “That’s all I can stands, I can’t stands no more!” You’re not trying to let the Disney bosses win, are you? You probably used to think previously canceled shows like Hey Arnold!, Samurai Jack, and Young Justice could never be brought back. The point is, all is not lost.

@peepsqueak and WOY fans/SaveWOY supporters: Have I been of assistance? Almost every remark I’ve ever made shows wit and perception. I mean, just think. Wander is still stuck in that vault where his goal of reforming Lord Hater remains incomplete, and he has no idea of what threat awaits him. He says, “Glorn, help us.” It’ll take something big and extraordinary to convince every Disney fan (and perhaps every Netflix fan) to talk some sense into the higher-ups. Not to mention the replacement/back-up voice actors we’ll have to find if Disney takes even longer (we already lost one - René Auberjonois). We shan’t rest until we get the answers!

@disneyanimation

[artificialqueens]

Chronicles of the Impossible; or, five small realisations - Part 2, Brooke (Crooke) - fandomfeministe

A/N: Thanks again to Saiph for being such a good second pair of eyes, and helping me figure out what would make sense to go where. I have ideas for a couple more chapters but I am completely open to any prompts or suggestions for what people might like to see in future :)

Chronicles of the Impossible; or, five small realisations (Part 2 - Brooke)

Realisation the first - Cracker, Henry and Apollo

The afternoon after that early morning phone call between Brooke and his mom was the first time Cracker had the opportunity to hang out with the beings he considered his children - his cats. Brooke himself had gone for a shower, and his lover had taken the time to unpack; given that he was going to spend a few days here, and he was particular about his stuff, Cracker was keen to make sure he didn’t make more work for himself on getting back to New York by letting everything get trashed.

His problem, however, was that his lover’s babies had had other ideas. He’d laid out his clothes, ready to refold and place them back into the drawers Brooke had arranged for him, and had decided to go grab a drink. Not more than thirty seconds had he been out of the room, grabbing a soda, when he returned to find that his favourite black turtleneck had won itself a pair of new fans - Henry and Apollo, curled up on its soft surface. “I can’t believe you walked right past everything else to make yourselves comfortable on that!” he gasped, wondering how on earth he was going to negotiate getting his turtleneck back in a reasonable state without truly pissing off the human who loved these adorable, thieving little assholes.

When Brooke returned from the shower, it was his turn to watch his lover from the doorway into the living room. With a towel wrapped around his waist and a fond smile on his face, his gaze was fixed towards the smaller man on the couch. There was no denying it… Cracker spoke to the cats like they were tiny, furry, incredibly exasperating humans.

“Look, you guys, I know this sweater is comfortable. I like it too, that’s why I bought it,” he was saying, directly addressing the cats. Apollo was stretched out on the couch beside him, nonplussed and with his tail gently swishing, and Henry sat on the floor directly in front of him, sitting up straight with his head tilted, wondering why on earth the new human seemed to be waving around the new comfy thing he and his brother had discovered. It was an air of polite indifference, if such an expression could be read on a cat (and Brooke did).

“But really, I don’t live with cats, so I’m not used to getting hair off my clothes. I hope we can get along, here, because your human happens to be someone whose good side I want to stay on. Understood?” In response, he got a look of apathy from Apollo and an almost pitying mew from Henry, who approached the older man’s feet and stretched up his paws, standing on his hind legs, seeking pets. Cracker sighed and gave them to him, scritching the more outgoing feline behind the ears. “You three are going to be the end of me, you know that?” he lamented, almost jumping as he heard Brooke’s heavier steps pad over the wooden flooring towards them. “The fuck, Brooke? How did you sneak up on me?”

“Couldn’t help it. You scolding my cats over a turtleneck was just too cute,” he bantered back, kneeling down to kiss the New York queen. While Cracker almost blushed into the kiss, Brooke couldn’t help but feel his heart melt.

Realisation the second - Cracker’s quick wit (on stage)

While her gigs in New York had the celebratory tone of being on home turf, with the regular crowd at her usual bars and clubs just excited to see her, Cracker had mentioned to Brooke that making appearances elsewhere in the country was always slightly more intimidating. Fun, yes, but give the wrong sort of performance on the wrong sort of night, and your reputation in the region could certainly take a hit.

There were places where being known as a New York queen could be especially difficult no matter what sort of performer you were. Since Season 6, every single season of Drag Race had had a New York girl in the final, and the city’s queens had even taken three in a row - her own drag mother being one of those. There were plenty of queens - and even fans - who would be quite happy to see the NYC girls taken down a peg or two.

So it was that Cracker was on stage, midway through her set, and Brooke was completely impressed with how his lover was working the crowd. Every so often she’d take a little walk along the stage, directing a different part of her story to a different group of people, giving them that little moment of closeness with the queen they’d been excited to see. It was beautifully done, really, Brooke thought. It gave different parts of the audience their moment of feeling like they had her attention, and at the same time, made her look like she was at home here as she was back in NYC, commanding the stage like she owned it. It reminded her of Cracker in London, actually, around the time they first became… well, whatever they’d become.

Brooke was laughing, almost uncontrollably so, at the story she was telling about the time “her friend” was driving away from an ex’s house with a bag full of sex toys. He’d heard it before, at least three times, and knew the punchline off by heart. There was something about the way Cracker told it though - tweaking it slightly for each audience she told it to - that made sure it was still hilarious every time. And the way she stood there, in the bright turquoise leotard, big Barbie hair and her hand on her hip like she was totally done with everything? He found it hysterical.

Only now, he could see from the slight change in her facial expression that she actually WAS done with everything, and his eyes followed her gaze out into the crowd. Some guy, sitting there with an incredibly embarrassed looking girlfriend, had wobbled to his feet, cupped his hand around his mouth and was attempting to yell, interrupting Cracker’s set. Cracker, Brooke and the girlfriend were not the only people who were starting to get pissed off, but the performer in Brooke noticed Cracker’s response - a steady set to the hips, holding firm, and a smooth tone to her voice that was as cold as steel.

“Sorry, dude, I don’t understand a word you’re saying. I don’t have a filter for drunk idiots.”

The audience tittered, one or two clapping in support.

Brooke didn’t quite hear the next thing the guy yelled, but knew it must have been a low blow about appearance when Cracker quirked her brow and raised her hand higher on her hip, pushing them back and tits out as she spoke to the rest of the audience - who, it could be noticed, was a good three fifths female and female presenting. “And yet,” Cracker began, “even your own damn girlfriend is looking at me more than you right now. And the lesbians would definitely rather have me than a guy who looks like he usually spends a weekend crying over his shitty fantasy football picks, letting Cheeto crumbs fall into his pants.” The heckler visibly shrank back, almost purple in embarrassment as the people around him literally pointed and laughed, some even pulling out their phones to record the interaction. The whole thing would probably be on YouTube before the morning. “That’s right, dude. Go sit in the corner and finish evolving.” A huge roar went up from the crowd, and Cracker took a step or two back before continuing her set, allowing herself a moment to soak up the acclaim.

Brooke almost shook his head in admiration, a smile spreading across his face. Somehow, this quick-thinking, pocket-sized powerhouse was interested in him?

He would definitely have to show his appreciation later.

Realisation the third - Cracker’s quick wit (off-stage)

It was May, quite late on, and the four of them were gathered for brunch in LA right before the insanity of the Drag Race end-season began. Brooke was a strange mix of tense and relaxed, knowing just how much was coming and the potential fall-out of both. There was the soon-to-air reunion, of course, and mere days ago they’d filmed the episode in which the fans would finally find out about just how over the whole Branjie thing was. It was certainly not something he was looking forward to, more for the resurrection of their own hurt and pain over the whole relationship than for a real fear about what people might say. He was cold, the Ice Queen… he could handle that. Right?

The one thing - or person, he should say - who was giving him doubts about his ability to breeze through this was sitting opposite him at the table, sharing raucous laughter with Monet about something his sister had said. Nina, ever the mom friend, had turned to look at him, bringing Brooke back into the conversation with a little wave to catch his attention. He was soon brought out of his thoughts, and his focus was brought back to a shorter, dark-haired man who managed to command the group’s attention despite being easily the most delicate and diminutive looking queen there. The Canadian was starting to feel things for him that he hadn’t felt since he’d broken up with Vanjie months ago - and what scared him was how much this didn’t scare him. Not this time. But the thought of what the next few weeks would stir up, and how he would have to keep his feelings squashed again… it hurt. It made him feel like he wanted to lash out and tell the world anyway, public perception be damned.

Now that, that was new.

Nina had asked Cracker and Monet a question about how things had been the year before, when the girls had been thrown straight into their own tour after the drama that had been stirred up at their own reunion. When the Aquaria vs Cracker storyline hadn’t produced quite what the show wanted, the reunion episode had had quite a bitter moment when Asia’s words in the Evil Twin challenge were brought up, causing the girls to relive some memories they’d already worked past or, in some cases, buried. It gave Brooke some hope, seeing the friends here now, that whatever trouble would be stirred for the Season 11 queens, they too would be able to work it out.

It had worked out so well, in fact, that Cracker was now recounting a story about how she, Monet, Asia, Kameron, Dusty, Blair, Vixen and Yuhua had been in bunks on the same bus, and the small space the eight of them were crammed into had resulted in Asia being fed up at the thought of climbing up and down every time. So fed up, in fact, that she’d ended up gathering a bunch of stuff at the end of the bunk, “like something out of Hoarders, bitch!” and accidentally outed some of her personal preferences in a very late night phone call home to her man. 

The imitations that followed, somehow spot-on and satirical at the same damn time, had Brooke in stitches to the point of almost hurting himself. There was something about Cracker’s quick wit - its hyper intelligence, pin-point accuracy and ability to jab whoever was necessary (including himself) that Brooke really admired in his lover. There was enough to draw him there, holding him to the older queen like a pair of magnets, even without all of this. But the laughter and sheer glee of the late morning in the LA sunshine, shared platters slowly being demolished as the levels in the wine bottles got lower and lower, that held an allure all of its own. His eyes were fixed in one direction in particular, and he didn’t feel like hiding it anymore.

Realisation the fourth - activism and dedication

A month later, and around three after the two queens had first become a thing, Brooke and Cracker were in another small café, this time in NYC, spending the day together before the rest of Pride month meant that things became more busy for the pair of them. Brooke, as runner up in the most recent season of Drag Race, was a man in high demand. Cracker, though the news wasn’t public yet, was about to head off to film All Stars 5. The fact that a busy, working queen was going to be MIA during the busiest month of the year would not go unnoticed, and would essentially confirm many fans’ predictions.

Their lives, in short, were about to go crazy. Crazier than things usually were once you became a Ru Girl, at any rate.

It also meant, of course, that they were going to see nothing of each other for weeks, hence this lunch date.

Cracker, however, had spent a whole quarter hour of their meeting on the phone, apologising profusely for the apparent need to accept the call. As soon as he’d answered, he began almost immediately talking in another language, one that Brooke didn’t recognise. He knew it wasn’t French, obviously, and recognised enough of the odd Hebrew word he’d heard in his lover’s company that it wasn’t that, either. He must have looked confused, though, because when the person on the other end of the call put him on hold - seemingly as they looked for information - Cracker met his eyes. “Wolof,” he said succinctly. “I’m talking to people I used to work with in Senegal.”

Of course, Brooke thought, his own eyes closing as Cracker began speaking again. Now things started to fall into place. He knew that, like his mom, Cracker had grown into an adult working in an artistic field. One of his last jobs before going into drag full time had been working in various New York galleries, specialising in dealings of West African pieces, which had meant he needed to travel a lot. Of course, being openly gay in many parts of the continent was still a huge risk, and ever since, Cracker had links with groups in various places campaigning for human rights victories. Now, as it was Pride in the US, it made sense for him to be in touch. 

It was something oddly beautiful to witness, too. Brooke didn’t have to speak a word of Wolof to know that the subject of the conversation was something of great excitement to Cracker and his friend, the American waving his free hand wildly in the air as his eyes had an undeniable sparkle to them. Brooke couldn’t bear to interrupt, or even signal his interest to him lest he be a distraction, and so he decided to watch him instead. His own smile became just visible over the top of his coffee cup.

Along with so many things he’d reflected on of late, this was one more thing that Brooke was growing to love - no, not that word, he told himself, not allowing even the tiniest bit of the thought to sneak through - about the New Yorker sitting in front of him. He was someone so spirited, so passionate, so dedicated to the causes he believed in, that it was impossible for Brooke to believe he didn’t mean every single word and action of his activism.

It made his own heart swell just thinking about it.

When his lover had hung up on the call, Brooke reached out and took his hand, squeezing it gently and with admiration written all over his face. “Let’s get out of here,” he whispered, quickly leaning over the table to give the smaller man a kiss.

The time it took for them to leave cash on the table and head back to Cracker’s place took longer than the phone call, but as they later lay curled up in each other’s arms, both men considered it worth it.

Realisation the fifth - three little words

It had been weeks, but felt more like months, since Brooke and Cracker had had their lunch date in NYC. A few days later, Brooke’s lover had flown to LA to film All Stars 5, and the cycle of their being caught in the maelstrom of Drag Race began again. It was different being the one on the outside, knowing that your loved one was going through the intense competition process and you had no way of reaching them. On more than one lonely night, Brooke found himself going through old texts, pictures and videos they’d taken together in the last few months - sometimes using them to help reach his own pleasure, other times scrolling through the sweeter ones and sleeping curled up in a ball, his phone still in hand. 

What he hadn’t yet been willing to acknowledge to himself was just how much the other man meant to him, but that denial couldn’t last forever. It all came to a head when, on a night out with Nina, he turned down the advances of no fewer than three separate guys who’d sidled up to him at the bar, batting their eyes and slinking away disappointed within minutes. There was a different vibe to Brooke now, and it wasn’t hard to see it. When a fourth approached, and Brooke simply got up and walked away, Nina had to say something - linking an arm through his, and walking him swiftly to one of the booths, his eyes flicking left and right before speaking.

“Something’s different. Spill.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Nina.”

“Bullshit!” he exclaimed, a little too loudly as some nearby clubgoers turned their heads in surprise. Sheepishly, Nina lowered his head to continue. “You’ve had men crawling all over you, all night. You haven’t even looked at any of them, let alone taken your pick of the hottest and had someone to kick out of bed in the morning. Like I said, something’s different.”

Brooke winced. Nina’s assessment of his love life, although brutal, was painfully accurate. His best friend of nearly a decade, there wasn’t much he could hide from him, and he looked up resignedly with the intent of telling him everything. This, to Nina’s surprise, he did. He started with stories, the little moments he’d had with his American lover - the time they’d spent together on tour, the times they’d had surprising each other at gigs, even the way Cracker’s face looked while he was telling jokes. There was a way his nose wrinkled upwards and his mouth hung open, almost barking with laughter, and it was the most endearing thing he’d ever seen.

In turn, Nina listened, and smiled. It wasn’t Brooke being happy again that made him react this way, but the fact he was opening up. He’d always been so closed off, emotionally speaking - arguably one of the main reasons he’d never had a successful relationship before - and now here he was. Thirty-three years old, and finally being able to admit to his best friend, without shame or hesitation, the feelings that someone new was causing him to feel. It was revelatory, really. When Brooke finally admitted why he hadn’t taken anyone home that night - because none of them were a certain dainty, dark-haired and eyed Jewish-American queen that he was slowly becoming hooked on - Nina held Brooke’s gaze and grinned, maintaining the connection as he spoke.

“You know what this means, don’t you?”

“…yes,” Brooke admitted, though not yet willing to say the words.

“You love him.”

It was factual, credible, and totally without judgement.

Brooke nodded.

[darkspellmaster]

She-ra and the Princesses of power, Thoughts for Season 1.

It’s been over a week since this show has aired, and I guess I can write this now. This is pretty much my thoughts during the Episodes as I watched them. Please note this is my impressions and not meant as a full on review of the show. 

Thoughts under the cut. 

Episode 1

So basically Adora and her team are being fed false info regarding the Princesses and Queen Angella. Why am I not surprised by this at all. 

So are all the cadets kidnapped or was this a volunteer thing? Like are there Horde recruiters that go to the villages and are like “Yo kids, wanna serve Lord Hordak, come join the Horde for having adventure and making new friends...” Seriously where did these cadets come from. 

Also is that Leech? We’re missing his hand suckers. 

So we have a Lonnie and a Kyle and a...? Who’s the third green guy? Does he have a name? I’ll have to look at the credits? 

Is Kyle supposed to be Mantanna? He’s put in all the gag moments. 

Hey at least they show they care for one another, so points on that. 

Also, I like Lonnie, why couldn’t we have Lonnie over Catra? 

Catra is late...so how did she get in the room before the others did? Seriously someone please explain this to me because it seems like a plot hole right there.

Anyone else feel like she’s a rejected design of someone’s 2015 Thundercat’s OC character? I feel like she’d fit right in there. Also I’m guessing she’s a Magicat, so probably we’re gonna see Kittrina and the Queen of the Magicat’s at some point.  

So Catra puts Adora in a hole, bet you anything it’s going to foreshadow something. 

“You know nothing is to low for me,” -Yeah we are setting her up to be a bad guy with lines like that. 

Their dynamic reminds me of an older sister (Adora) and a jealous younger sister (Catra) who is always in the older sister’s shadow and seen as lesser due to it. 

Okay so Adora stands up for her against Shadow Weaver, and shows empathy for Catra, We also see empathy being displayed for Kyle, even if they seem to mock him. So that brings up a point that Weaver may be leading these kids to believe that they can’t show the empathy that they have. 

Wever’s not wrong, she’s going about it way the wrong way, but she’s not wrong in regard to Catra letting the others do the heavy lifting for her. She’s still a bitch for what she’s saying. I really don’t like this take of her. 

I’m getting Starscream vibes off of Catra, someone very smart and cunning but also her ego is going to be her downfall because she thinks she’s better than anyone. 

Placing bet’s here, Shadow Weaver intends to use Adora as a weapon against Hordak and to take him down. Not sure how but it’s clear that’s what shes’ doing here with her comments to her. 

So can I call her Shadow Palpatine? Because that’s who she reminds me of. She’s making Adora into her Anakin. 

Given the “I raised you and found you as an orphan child” is probably a total fabrication, I don’t by that at all. Someone kidnapped her, but I don’t know if it was Weaver or Hordak in this case. Unless Skelator just up and became Rumplestikin and forced Randor and Marlena to Emma Swan her from Eternia. Which would be weird. 

Hello, Dream Works, Disney is calling to get Mother Gothal back. (Man, if I wanted to watch Tangled, I would watch Tangled.) 

So Glimmer reminds me of another character from another show that I can’t think of where the young girl tends to disobey their parents and it makes it all about them and their issues and...the whole relationship with her and Angella reminds me of Duke and his brother from the GI Joe movie in the 1980s. 

Also, if you’re daughter isn’t old enough to act like a noble in your court, she’s not old enough to lead a battle. 

Angella sounds more like Adora at times than Adora does. 

Okay scratch that...we have a Little Mermaid moment here mixed in with Nani and Lilo from Lilo and Stitch. 

Glimmer acts like she’s 12, and probably designed to appeal to the tweens that are like ‘Parents don’t get it” mind set. 

Okay so how the hell does Catra know how Shadow Weaver got the power stone from Hordak? Was she listening at the doors and such? How does she know about any of this? I would think that Shadow Weaver would cover this all up. 

So we know that Catra is bitter towards Weaver and will probably end up doing something to pay her back, and she’s jealous of Adora, which means anyone that is her friend going forward has a big target on their backs. Got it. 

Yup Catra is Starscream. Thanks for that reminder show. And basically an older sister with bratty younger sister dynamic going down here. Good on them for at least getting that in order. 

Catra, you know you don’t have to shove her away from running the skiff, she didn’t need you to do that. 

And now they are fighting like some sisters will when they are close in age. 

Catra is way to reckless and clearly meant to show immaturity of the two girls. She’s reminding me a lot of Ben Solo, looks like a teen but acts like she’s way younger than that emotionally. 

Did you need to have that aside break the forth wall? Could we not have had her look down or up, why at the camera? (Note: This never happens again, so why do a 4th wall joke here? And time stamp is around the 11:30 mark in this show.) 

So Adora finds the sword in the ground wrapped in Vines. How long has it been there? Also it gives her flashes, cool at least were sort of taking from the original with that aspect. 

Catra pulling her by the hair. Ow! Why? Are you trying to show how immature and mean she can be? What was the point of her pulling her by the hair, why not by the scruff of the neck or the shirt like a cat would? 

Diary writing, or at least the way the diary is being written in, positive in that it at least gets her feelings out. I still think she’s only 12 or 13. 

The moment with Glimmer and Bow outside reminds me a lot of a Harvey and Sabrina moment from the old DiC cartoon in the 2000s. And why do I feel like Glimmer would fit right into that era’s shows? 

Bow and Glimmer yelling is going on too long for my taste. Why doesn’t he shoot her a tin can phone or something useful? 

If she can teleport why not do that earlier and make the joke work. It took to long for that joke to land. 

Bow is older than Glimmer. The way he treats her and looks after her makes me think he and Adora are around the same age roughly. They are the older siblings to Catra and Glimmer’s younger siblings dynamic. 

Oh god make it stop with Glimmer and her mom’s fighting! Please! 

So Adora sneaks out and Catra doesn’t hide the fact that she’s gone by you know, stuffing the bed, or doing other things to cover for that? Maybe getting the others involved to help out to cover? Show she can be a decent leader? No? Well okay then. 

Oh god, why the screaming! That is not funny or cute. That is like something a toddler would do, and these two are not toddlers! 

So the more I see of Light Hope the more the design reminds me a lot of the Sorceress. So Light Hope =program by the Sorceress? 

Cool Bow grew up in the woods. Where at? Can we meet his dads? No? Not even gonna talk about it? Okay then. 

Devastation at 12  o’clock. Not bad showing the ruins. Kind of pretty in a depressing way. 

Yay at least we’re getting the “Evil Horde” talk in some form. 

So according to Glimmer the Horde just appeared on Etheria. So does that mean that they were from space first? or are they from Eternia and got poofed there some how? Doesn’t really seem to imply if Hordak targeted this place, or if it was a chance thing. Betting anything Shadow Weaver helped him take over as in the original one. 

So can we call Bow the Hawkeye/Green Arrow of the She-ra crew? 

Maybe I missed something but how did Adora get out of the ropes? 

Also what kind of bug is that creature? Is it normal or is it a mutant? How does anyone live around here anyway? 

So Mary Elizabeth McGlynn  (Aka, Major Makoto Kusangi) is doing the voice direction here. Well that explains why that aspect is really done well. 

Episode 2

Okay, so the Intro is very 2000s in that Winx Club/ W.I.T.C.H. sort of way. (W.I.T.C.H needs to come back too by the way. Good comic as well.) Not digging it as much as those show openings. Maybe it’ll grow on me? 

Slap stick, Bow runs into doors, news at 11. 

Well interesting, so she’s blurting out Eternia and can read First one’s stuff. Huh. Might be tying more into New Adventure’s of He-man than I thought. 

Also we’re showcasing that she’s from Eternia with this, so....

So are the Princesses Living batteries? Does not having magic kill them or something? I’m kind of confused by this? And where does this recharge thing come from? 

Glimmer better get better as this story goes on, or she’s ending up on my “Annoying character” list. 

Weaver still has a way to watch over things. Only we’re doing it like Mum-ra. Somebody really liked the Reboot of Thundercats. I get they want to use magic with her, but a tracking device I would think would do better. For a group that uses tech, they really don’t use a lot of it. 

So Weaver is shown to be a threat, good on them, but yeah there’s some Darth Sidious BS going on with her that I really don’t like very much. Palpatine wasn’t this dumb, even if he was an ass. 

Party in the forest, okay cool. Though can anyone tell me what these guys are supposed to be? Animals? Mutants, Furries? What? 

Yeah that outfit looks bad, no one would want to wear that at all. 

Why is it so shocking that she’s never been to a party, never had a birthday, etc? They’re living in the Fright Zone, of course there wouldn’t be fun.

 Also no, horses would not be used in this world apparently there because Tech, so how would she know what it is? Though I would think that in her training they would have at least mentioned them? 

Good on Adora for at least going to face down the Horde and realizing that this is not a good situation. 

Catra in a tank? Okay? 

So Catra knew that they were being manipulated this whole time and didn’t say squat to Adora? Some friend she is. Seriously she’s giving me bad flashbacks to a really possessive friend I had in chldhood. 

Oh god. Why? Catra’s pretty much needs a co-dependent -terrific. She’s pretty much become every evil sympathic crazy anime villain rolled into one. Sob story, check, poessive, check, has a need to be in power to overcome those that hurt her, again check. I feel like I’m watching a weird version of Pretty Cure with this. 

So Catra is that Jealous younger sister that wants to take over trope. Got it. 

Yeah she’s pretty much a selfish brat at this point and several anime tropes rolled into one, and I swear I’ve seen her be for in regard to this sort of character arctype in Pretty cure or shonen shows. I just can’t point to where.  So Catra tries to get Adora back by being an ass to her and pointing out that she knew they were evil and all that. Yup all the marks of a magic girl arch rival right there. 

Also magically going away ropes when Glimmer pulls the sword. At least she saved her. 

Really we’re calling it Horsie? Can’t we give the damn thing a name? 

Hey She-ra, Sailor Moon and Pretty Cure called, they want their transformation sequence back. Also is it just me or are they taking music cues from Winx and Witch here mixed in. Yeah also someone really really liked Sailor Moon’s transformations. I mean...it’s not shot for shot, but you can see the influence there. 

So people saying that old She-ra couldn’t hit people with her sword, this one just smashes the ground with it...I have no words. Not a bad thing, it’s just weird that people keep saying that Old She-ra didn’t fight and this one does, but it’s clear that this one is smashing things like the hulk, same way He man did. 

Well points on the Betrayed look from Catra. That at least is something. Side note...was it just me or was there some frame rate animation when she took Bow off the horse? Also, I guess this is a nod to catra taking Bow down back in the old show early on? 

So we’re just leaving the mess? Not gonna use any magic to clean it up huh? 

Episode 3

Once more  Angella doesn’t seem like a mother figure and seems more like an older sister. They fight way to much in this show. 

Adore is reminding me of a character in a Nick show, but I can’t place it. 

So they leave a person who has no skills about being in a fancy place, in a fancy room, alone to practice with a sword. Yeah this is going to work out well. 

Can we name the damn horse already? He has a name it’s Spirit. Can we not give him that name? 

So why isn’t he talking yet? This form means he can talk. Can’t remember if he talks when he’s not in unicorn form. 

Well what do you know, you got a laugh out of me show, good job. 

So she transforms him by accident and scares the hell out of him. Good work Adora.

Yeah is that Solider supposed to be Double Trouble? 

Also, why did you not change shirts? I’m sure Glimmer had some sort of other shirt or something in her wardrobe. Sure it would be big but having a huge Horde mark on your back, yeah that’s a bad idea. Also it’s not a tattoo, you can remove it. 

So she got chased by a mob. I get people don’t like the horde, but how do they know she’s with them. It could be that she was an escaped prisoner that was being held captive...this show...I swear. 

So she’s down in the water now, and still getting shot at. Where are the guards? 

Anyone in the mood for a little Into the Woods moment here? 

So add onto Catra’s issues the need to be superior to others. Yeah someone has a love of Starscream. 

So this is Madam Razz? Oh what the ever living loving fuck! No seriously, like yes I know Madam Razz in the original was goofy, but she also showed a lot of intellegence, even when she couldn’t get a spell right, and in some cases the results were a lot more terrifying than what she had planned. Hell she turned people into sheep, internal screaming commence. 

Who the hell is Mara? (Edit: Looked it up. So either this Mara is Mara Jade from Star Wars who was the wife of Luke Skywalker and was once part of the Empire as a Hand (assassin) who was sent to kill Luke, but later became a smuggler of sorts, trained herself to become a jedi, and later studied under Luke and eventually married him and they had Ben Skywalker. Or...this is a nod to the Mara character from the New Adventures of He-man who replaced Teela as main girl.) 

So Madam Razz is Maz from Episode VII. Oooookay. She doesn’t need to be. 

I’m not a fan of Razz’s voice. Too much Edna Mode. Also where the hell is Broom? Like she has a broom but it’s not Broom. 

More hints of Eternia. Either give her the back story or don’t! Stop playing with it. 

Catra has a lot of anger issues it seems. 

And Shadow Weaver likes to play games. I surprised that Hordak hasn’t killed her by now. Must be hard to get good helpers on Etheria. 

Is that supposed to be Grizzor? I feel like all the cool mutants have been removed for generic baddies. Like they didn’t want to tell a adventure story and wanted it to be a high school drama. 

Can we please give her a spell, and not just have her go “Razzle Dazzle”. Yes that is part of her catch phrases but not all she says. 

How does she know Mara anyway? She doesn’t answer the questions. 

Thank you Swifty for calling the name Horsie a stupid name. Also how does she talk to the Animals? 

Alright so...honestly I know the first series was fast on getting Adora as part of the crew, the difference was that it was He-man speaking up for her, or rather Adam and he’d proven to be someone that knew his shit. Bow I can understand trusting, Glimmer...eh...it seemed a bit fast of an acceptance. I would have thought they would have done something a bit more in this case, just to be different than the original. Oh well. 

So...Hordak is hot. Who’s with me on this one? 

Hey at least he stands up for Catra and knows she’s at least trying. Though that may come back to bite her in the ass later. Also it mirrors his views on her earlier when Weaver was saying that she let Adora get away. Apparently Hordak doesn’t think too much of Adora leaving, or he’s got something larger planned that no one knows about. 

Episode 4

So why is it that everyone in the castle seems to trust her so damn much? Or is that just for Glimmer’s sake? 

Adora...it’s a bed. You slept in one before. How is it that you think you killed it? Broke it is a better word. Not killed it. 

So given the design of the king...does this mean Hordak’s been turning people into the Mutants? I guess that would be a cool twist other then “Well he’s dead.” 

And at least Angella shows that she’s still wondering about this girl. Good on that part. Although she seems more bitchy then she should, but still glad to see less trust on Adora right now. She could be a spy. 

So small complaint here, why are we making Netossa and Spinnerella a joke? Seriously they are the only real couple on the show and you make a joke out of it. 

Apparently we have a tangled reference here with the way Adora looks at the picture of the King and Queen. 

Okay so Angella doesn’t trust her daughter, but she’s totally fine with the girl that was, less then a few moments ago, considered not trust worthy, giving an idea and then her okaying it? Yeah.. um...shouldn’t that have been the reverse? And why are they not taking the other two along? 

Catra is still being a lazy selfish brat, no new news here regarding her character. 

So Hordak is the one controlling the stone? Huh...is he like an Ozai? 

Perfuma seemed to have a moment of “Hot guy” sort of reaction to Adora. Good on them...that’s about the only ship I can take in this series outside of Her and Bow so far. 

So Perfuma has a bit of a mask going on. That’s a nice change compared to her more ditzy self in the original, but she was very innocent there. So far she’s been the most interesing and likable character, outside of Bow and Adora. 

Okay so -Ahem...FUCK YEAH HORDAK! He’s the ONLY thing keeping me interested in watching this so far. 

Shadow Weaver probably wants Adora due to the fact that she knows about her being connected to Eternia and is planning on using her to get them back into that dimension, or she’s going to try to take over and kill Hordak with her...one or the other. She’s still an idiot. 

Also betting she’s the one that did the Kidnapping of Adora over Hordak. *sighs* 

Also Hordak is Magic. 

So what are we going for here with Perfuma’s people? Valley, surfer, Cali beach heads? Guru style? What? 

Hey what do you know...I got a laugh out of Perfuma! Good job show. 

Not a bad message but one that was delivered weirdly. 

 Episode 5 

(Side note...gonna limit the pictures because I’m getting tired.) 

Glimmer is still annoying -same with Angella. I don’t get the reason for putting them in this relationship. 

So we have  Pirates of the Caribbean -at worlds end, with the music and design. Gotcha. 

Also is this supposed to be the Star War’s Cantena? Yup it is. 

So this is Sea Hawk huh? Wanna be Han Solo...seriously? Okay then...

*Watches the two interact* Yup, in any normal show this would imply that this could be a romantic interest with them arguing like that. This isn’t a normal show so I don’t know if they are just playing up the idea of rivals to crushes. 

Probably will be an option for a romantic interest outside of Bow...or she could be single, I’m cool with that. 

Could you please stop affecting your voice? It’s annoying Sea Hawk. 

Can I call him Lance Solo? He reminds me of Lance early on in Voltron. 

Okay yeah we’re digging into Star Wars here because man he’s calling them kids and has some sort of Kessel Run. 

Gonna guess a year older than Bow and Adora...

So Shadow weaver needs Adora for some reason. Could we be a bit more specific here. 

Wow Scorpia looks a hell of a lot like Shiro. Jeeze! Seriously I had to double take when I saw her. She’s a hugger. Horray. 

Song needs to burn, there is no melody to it. I really tend to like music in shows, but this is not even close to the better songs I’ve heard in other shows. Even songs from Steven Universe, which I don’t watch a lot of, tend to have better melodies than this. I’m hoping that this was more meant as a gag. 

Can we please stop with the dumb jokes here. They are starting to wear on me. Yes I get it he’s not that good at what he does. Yes I get it he wants to give them an adventure...but this set up sucks. 

Don’t like Mermista’s voice. I have always disliked the “Whatever” teenager trope. The relationship here needs work between them. Why does she not like him? 

Where the hell is he from? He burns his boats and this is okay? 

Wow, he can be serious, can we get more of that from him? 

So Adora is trying to help and Catra ends up belittling her and calling her dumb. My oh my she is a catch folks. Either she goes completely dark or she get’s saved in the second season because right now she such a uttler bitch...

Gah, Catra is really really annoying in this episode. She reminds me of the 90s stereotypical younger sister types. Gah...

Hey what do you know...Boat burning works for something. Not much, but something. 

Liking the guys in the background on the ship. Can we have a show about them...please? 

Awww Adora actually warmed up to Sea Hawk. 

Episode 6

Okay so people are working for Entrapta, that’s good? 

Oh Shit she’s Doc Oct. Well that explains everything I need to know about her. 

So I feel like she’s acting like a DiC cartoon villain. Just can’t get into her all that much. 

Why are we making Adora kind of dumb in this one? 

Cool Bow’s all about the tech stuff, and is behaving way more mature than the other two. 

If you’re going to have a trap like that, at least have a near fall. 

Ugly zombie robot done better in Star Wars honestly. I was more “What the hell” in that moment than scared. Hey maybe they should have watched the Episode in Transformers where Optimus lost most of his face, or the removed TMNT 2000 series where Baxter Stockman fell apart. Literally. 

Entrapta...please stop. 

Also She-ra can get drunk apparently. Or sick, whatever you want to call it. 

Well the shit she’s playing with is going to be in season 2, and that looks like crap Evil lynn works with in He-man from time to time. 

Okay so Bow does a good job leading...yay for that. 

Her parents probably died and she replaced them with Robots. 

I could say she’s an odd version of Wheel Jack, though that would mean the staff would have had to have watched Gen 1 transformers. 

The maze bit goes on a bit too long. 

Well that’s Horde prime shit that was used before in the comics. So someone was paying attention. 

The more I watch of Entrapta the more I get Vibes of Doctor K from Power Rangers RPM. Though she’s less weird than this. 

Okay make that she reminds me of Doctor Whiley from Megaman. 

Hey at least everyone realized Bow is the smart one here. 

Episode 7

So Adora in ep 6 wasn’t worried about being infected now she’s on edge over it? 

Shadow Weaver is fucking Mum-ra from Thundercat’s 2015 with all the shit she’s doing and how sh’es behaving. 

Credit for Sandra O for doing Castaspella. Good choice for this character. 

Everyone likes Bow. 

Also, she knits sweaters, that’s sweet. She seems like a decent sister. 

Lunar Lenses? Where have I heard that before. May be something from New Adventures of He man again. 

So we do have Light Spinner as Shadow Weaver. But no teacher? Booo. That was the best part of that story. Also can we tell the story when she was turned? No...man, come on...it’s important. 

Creepy Shadow Weaver. She’s really becoming more like a stalker than anything else. 

So what the hell is with the weird noises Adora is making when she’s trying to relax? 

So really we are heavy in the mother figure aspect of this character right now. Though honestly this bothers me as Shadow should not be scarier than Hordak. She wants to own Hordak and dominate him...(well who wouldn’t but that’s beside the point). 

Not sure how I feel about this change. Shadow’s known for being very loyal as she really didn’t have any place to go and blames the others for her fall. 

Someone was watching the Labyrinth 

So Catra calls Bow the heart. Is she implying that she thinks Adora likes Bow?  (If Catra x Adora is the Rey x Kylo of all this does that mean that Bow x Adora is the Finn x Rey of She-ra?) Or does she think that he’s the glue of the group? or is it just a nod to his shirt? Confused by this line

Episode 8

So it’s a ball and not a Prom. Could have just called it that in the title. 

Scorpia needs to get a better friend than Catra...go hang out with Lonnie. She seem’s cool. 

Okay Fuck you Catra. You’re manipulating the hell out of this girl. She opened up, told you that the other girls came off as uncomfortable around her and then you use her for your weird vendetta against Adora? Get past it, move on, she ain’t coming back. 

Also, okay so the Horde crashed in Scorpia’s kingdom and they gave Hordak the stone. Probably out of fear more than anything else. 

So are they trying to hint at Bow x Glimmer or are we still on siblings not hanging out anymore. Plus side for Bow’s line about change being good. 

Hey what do you know Adora made me laugh. 

Hey...why throw that line out there about Sweet Bee and Peekablue, what was the point? 

90s Make over music. Joy...

Scorpia dresses better than Adora...that’s all I’m gonna say. 

So Frosta is canonically 11. Okay...does that mean the rest are only in their early teens? 

Perfuma is Starfire. Please, for the love that is all holy, stop talking like Kori. 

Chuckles Austen? WTF? You do not put the twitter handle of your EP on your show. That is not cute. it’s Charles or Chuck, not Chuckles. Ugh. 

So Catra’s whole scheme is to kidnap bow...oookay. Weird.

Adora is Dipper, seriously that’s who she reminds me of in this episode. 

And Frosta also reminds me way to much of Toph. 

More of the high school drama with Glimmer being jealous of Bow. And the whole thing is reminding me of the Northern water tribe look. 

Can we take a moment to consider Adora is strong enough on her own to Lift Perfuma up, and she’s taller than her. 

Also that dance between Catra and Adora was a threat dance. I think there was something similar in a Star wars book. 

If Catra cares so much about Adora, why let that shit fall on her? Seems hypocritical of her. 

Hair pins don’t work like that! This is the umteeth time I’ve seen someone do that...they are not like that. 

Fight needs work, it was not as good as the one with Adora and Weaver in previous episodes. Also a lot of animation was off for the background characters. 

What was that look for? Like “Surprised she saved her?” She’s a hero, it’s what she does. 

I’m sorry but that end song sucked. Can we never use that again. 

Points for capturing Bow and Glimmer. 

Episode 9 

Shadow Weaver being a bitch...

Wow how did everyone get there that fast? I’m confused. 

Cute with the figures, but can we not fight over who is what on the board. 

Energy prison like Steven universe. 

YUCK the flushing toilet on Mermista was not funny! That was gross and you can’t hear that. 

Robot scrap collector is cute

Plan seems to be working....and then it’s not. Sea Hawk you are an idiot. 

Lot’s of Animation errors in this one. 

How is her mask working? 

Hey what do you know, Sea Hawk actually did something kinda right? 

Perfuma still proving to be the best here. 

Ball from incredible, inspiration? or round ATATs? 

Can we change Lonnie for Catra. I am begging you at this point show. She’s a lot more interesting. 

The fight with Kyle talking is amusing and the writer did well with the visual gags here. 

Sea Hawk throw is acutally funny I laughed. 

Good scene with Bow and Adora. Only to be followed by Catra being a Ben Solo. 

Alright points for Glimmer getting out and punching Shadow Weaver. Entrapta’s death and the return of the sword were all well done. Though with Entrapta’s death I felt there needed to be more time with them before hand to feel weight. 

Mourning of Entrapta was a good moment, but it would have been better if this was like the last episode of the season maybe? 

Episode 10 

How does being together mean falling apart? 

Strong mourning with Perfuma. She’s becomeing the break out of the characters for me. 

Glimmer annoying again with the Hug scene and not wanting to talk about glitching. 

I HATE this dynamic between mother and daughter. 

Can we get more Hordak please? 

Over all thoughts of this episode was that Catra was playing too much with Entrapta. She shouldn’t have fallen so easy for it. Hoping for Scorpia and Entrapta to be friends. Catra and Shadow manipulating one another to turn around and show Angella and Glimmer making up was done well, but I hate the way they got to that. Catra was still annoying in this episode. 

Episode 11

So the thing with the robot, Emily, starting to bug me. Watching Light Hope makes me think that someone was trying to mimic what Clone wars did in the past, and honestly I think this doesn’t need to go on the route of the Jedi. 

Can I say that Catra in her own way is reminding me way to much of Abu from Aladdin here. The whole thing with Catra and Adora was foreshadowed in episode one, and she seemed like a brat in the past too. Thing that bothered me with this is that it’s not explaining how these two got there. Also some animation errors. 

Shadow Wever is Eric from PotO and Scar from the lion king rolled into one. I really thought the fight was done well but the end result sort of sucked. I don’t think there’s a chance for Catra to get redeemed with this. 

Episode 12

Light Hope reminds me of Jem’s synergy. Also her way of doing things annoys me because it’s trying way to hard to be a mix of all classic shows without doing it’s own thing here. 

Swift wind has become Starlight’s rejected cousin. Why is he talking now? What changed? The magic? Is Etheria cybertron? 13 princesses, well if you know the old show, outside of one, you know exactly who they are going to be. Imp’s a recording device, and the Rune stone can hack the planet?

I want more hordak, and Swifty saved the day cool. Catra lost her compassion, and Shadow weaver is going to come back. 

Episode 13

Finally we get some action from Netossa and Spinner. Jeez. 

Glimmer was hording weapons. 

Over all the last episode was good. Though I would have liked to have seen Hordak do something. Right now he’s just there and I want to see how strong this guy is. 

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #196: The Terrible Toll of the Taskmaster

June, 1980

Annnnnnnd we’re back.

Sorry for missing days. When I get sick I get sick bad and also grumpy.

But now we’re back and continue with Taskmaster’s inaugural story.

He has an interesting costume.

So last times: The Avengers were having a slow day for once until a guy called Selbe burst in and asked for help. Some orderlies from the Solomon Institute of the Criminally Insane came to retrieve him but Wasp felt something was amiss and perhaps decomposed in the nation of Denmark. So she followed them back to the Institute, snuck in, and got captured.

The Avengers followed Wasp and Yellowjacket and Ant-Man snuck in, and got captured. But then they fought their way free and got captured again.

This has just been a very repetitive day for the insect-themed size-changing superhero cadre.

This time:

Taskmaster has mastered the task of thinking about how to keep shrinking superheroes captive and put the three in clamps that apparently atomically bond with the wrists and ankles so if they try shrinking, they’ll lose their hands and feet and those are important for superhero work.

Also Taskmaster talks in a very casual, colloquial way. Drops his g’s off the end of words and such. Makes him sound more muscle than the guy who masterminded a series of mook training academies but its possibly part of why people like him so much.

Wasp asks who he is and Taskmaster decides the best way to show what he’s all about is ordering a squad of his trainees to try to murder him so he can show off by beating them up.

Pro-tip: If a teacher ever asks you to physically assault them, its probably a ruse and you’re going to get your ass kicked to make the teacher look good. Its the Ushan DeLucca method. That and a hefty dose of fantasy Seasonal Affective Disorder.

Anyway, Taskmaster promises ten grand to any trainee that masters the task of murdering him and then kicks all their asses.

He shows off his shield throwing technique (just as good as Captain America’s), his Daredevil-tier billy club technique, his Spider-Man-esque gymnastics, and archery that could be compared to Hawkeye’s.

And then after he beats up the trainee squad, he docks them pay for sleeping on duty while Wasp marvels vacantly at Taskmaster’s skill.

Wasp: “Th-that... that was incredible! But how -- ?”

Taskmaster: “I’d like to say I work hard at it, sweetcheeks, but t’be perfectly honest, it just comes natural. Y’see, I was born with what the shrinks call ‘photographic reflexes.’ That’s somethin’ like ‘photographic memory,’ only it’s a whole lot scarcer!”

He discovered it growing up when he would watch cowboy shows on TV and then perfectly pull off the same rope tricks he had just seen without any practice.

And it wasn’t just rope tricks, obviously. Otherwise he’d be... the Lassoman or something. He realized he could duplicate any action exactly just by watching it done. He made himself the hero of the football team by watching one pro-game.

He even considered become a superhero to make more of his special talents but realized that the big bucks were made on the criminal side of things.

But he realized that the downside to becoming a criminal was all the superheroes that all of a sudden wanted to punch you so he prepared by watching newscasts, documentaries, and anything that showed the heroes on film so he could pick up their sweet moves.

Hence why he carries around what he carries around. He picked up all of Captain America’s shield moves, Hawkeye’s archery, Daredevil’s billyclubbery, etc. Also he carries around a lasso because I guess you just don’t forget your first.

But in the midst of all this learning, Taskmaster realized something else. Being a supervillain could be lucrative but it could also get you beaten up by superheroes a lot and who needs that hassle?

So instead he decided to set up a string of academies where he could train goons for the idiots on the frontline getting beaten up by superheroes.

He’s a very pragmatic guy. He once mentioned during Avengers Academy that he just works for whoever pays the best. He’s not in it to rule the world or make the big score. He’s happy getting a continuous supply of income by providing a necessary but probably illegal service.

And his operations have been running smoothly AND secretly for years.

Then Dr. Solomon went and ruined all of that by getting superheroes involved.

Way to be, Dr. Solomon! After Taskmaster trusted you with an administrator job!

Taskmaster tosses him to the ground but says he’s a fair man and will give him a chance to defend himself. If he beats Taskmaster, despite Taskmaster just having beaten an entire squad of trained warriors and Dr. Solomon never even holding a firearm before, then Dr. Solomon gets to live.

I’d give you one guess as to what happens but you don’t even need that many.

Dr. Solomon fires some kind of gun (it was on the table with Ant-Man’s helmet so its possibly Yellowjacket’s Disruptor pistol but he doesn’t even use that anymore) but the recoil was so bad that it hit Taskmaster’s shield without Taskmaster even having to move the shield.

That’s just really bad, Dr. Solomon.

But before Taskmaster can kill Dr. Solomon, something happens to stop him.

Dr. Solomon has a heart attack and dies while complaining what a common way to die it is.

And Taskmaster just declares him a wimp.

Anyway. Now that disciplinary proceedings are done, time to get the business back on track. They need to kill the superheroes so operations can resume and age up Selbe so he can replace Dr. Solomon so nobody notices he’s missing.

Meanwhile, outside, the Avengers continue to stand around in the snow and wait.

But while they wait, Iron Man thinks some Thoughts about how far the Avengers have come.

Iron Man: “Funny, I should be thinking about the danger we may soon face -- but I can’t keep my mind off of us, the Avengers... and how we’ve changed. Use to be we’d bicker at the drop of a hat, squabble over any little difference. But now it seems we’ve hit the right combination -- or maybe we’ve just matured.”

As an example he thinks of Wonder Man, who lost nearly a decade in suspended animation, and Beast, who went overnight from acclaimed scientist to a blue, furry freak. Harsh words, Tony.

But they accept one another not just as coworkers but as friends. No matter what they look like or how they act. And he reflects that its a shame ‘normal’ people can’t learn to behave similar.

Also: while he’s reflecting on how it takes many kinds to make a fruit cup, some ants crawl over his face and obstruct his vision.

Which he realizes is a signal from Yellowjacket or Ant-Man!

Time to stop standing in the snow and Avengers Assemble!

Meanwhile, inside, Taskmaster contemplates on what to do with his captive heroes. Maybe use them as target dummies in his dagger-throwing class?

To be fair, they are all dummies. Ya dummies.

But then the Avengers make like famous X-Factor member the Kool-Ade Man and OH YEAH right through the wall.

Iron Man: “We’re the Avengers, mister. And you’re holding three of our friends against their will.”

Captain America: “Will you release them now -- or do we have to start breaking things more painful than walls?”

According to Wasp, before the helmet was taken away, he was the one who managed to signal for his ants to get help.

Taskmaster: “Well, I guess that’s just o’ matter of live an’ learn, dumplin’.”

So he signals a group of specialists he just finished training for Hammerhead. Cyber-Squad X!

Who look touch but Iron Man isn’t worried and decides to see if they can stand up to a full-intensity wide-beam repulsor blast!

Apparently they can.

I won’t lie. I love it when comics do gags like that.

Apparently one of the Cyber-Squadders X had a device that could reflect Iron Man’s repulsors right back at him. Which means there’s nothing for it but for the Avengers to get in the thick of things and scrum.

SCRUM!

... Apparently Vision shot someone in the face with his eye lasers but more than that Beast apparently makes people smell his feet as a battle tactic.

Truly the ways of superheroes are fantastical.

Selbe (remember him?) realizes that all these people are risking their lives for him (not true, they’re here for the Wasp) and decides its time he did something to help them.

He grabs a piece of rubble and KLOPPs a guard in the head to knock him out and steal his gun and blasts the stasis controls, freeing Ant-Man, the Wasp, and Yellowjacket!

Yay, Selbe!

And then Ant-Man quickly puts his helmet on because maybe all these criminals have seen his face already but god forbid the Avengers do!

Ant-Man: “My daughter’d kill me if everyone else found out my secret identity before she did!”

And the various superheroes continue to fight the Cyber-Squad X while Captain America and Iron Man break through the fight to confront the master of tasks himself, the Taskmaster.

Cap attacks Taskmaster but Taskmaster perfectly counters his moves and when Iron Man circles behind to try to sneak repulsor attack, Taskmaster fires a disruptor arrow to neutralize Iron Man.

He knew that Iron Man would circle around because its what he would have done and he masters tasks. ITS IN THE NAME.

Taskmaster: “Man, what an opportunity! I could take the Avengers on, one-on-one, an’ maybe, with my reflexes... I could defeat them all! But then again, maybe I couldn’t! There ain’t no bucks in feedin’ an ego -- an’ it’d be awful hard runnin’ business from a jail cell!”

So he kludds Cap with his shield and then kraks him with a bow and then makes a break for it. And he even closes a blast door behind him so Iron Man and Cap can’t follow.

PRAGMATISM!

New plan. He’ll run to central control and flood the entire facility with sleep gas, which will take care of everyone but Iron Man and Vision and then-

A metal woman?

At some point Jocasta snuck away from the group so she could be standing in Taskmaster’s way right at this moment. And also he doesn’t know who she is so he doesn’t know what she’ll do.

He throws his mighty shield but Jocasta just puts up a force field. So he shoots an electro-shaft to short the field out and Jocasta blasts the arrow so the electrical energy is released near him instead.

Taskmaster: “Blast you, robot! I’ve never seen you before! Don’t know what you’re gonna do next! But just gimme time, an’ I’ll --”

And then Wasp and Yellowjacket shoot him in the face.

Because Jocasta bought time for the rest of the Avengers to clean up the Cyber-Goon-Squad X and catch up.

Iron Man: “So now it’s just you and us, Taskmaster. And I suggest you come along peacefully. Unless you think you can take all of the Avengers on at once!”

Which he doesn’t think he can do. And he’s not willing to roll the dice on it either. So he makes like a Dragon Ball character and uses some magnesium flares to blind the Avengers so he can expeditiously retreat.

By the time Iron Man gets his vision back (having been fortunate enough that he had peril-sensitive shades built into his helmet, basically), Taskmaster has already gotten back to his super high tech ship which is jetting away.

Vision was the second to get his vision back, humorously enough. I mean, I find it humorous because I kept trying to capitalize the V when I talk about vision the idea of seeing and not the synthezoid.

Iron Man tells Vision that Taskmaster is gone but he has a feeling it won’t be the last they hear of him.

Anyway, back downstairs to check on the people who aren’t as good at recovering vision like Vision.

Iron Man tells the Avengers that Taskmaster got away.

Captain America: “That’s too bad. But at least we’ll be around to have a next time -- thanks to Jocasta. Lady, we’ve had a tendency to overlook you in the past, but I think I speak for the whole group when I say -- that’s about to change.”

Vision: “As one who has discovered the benefits of companionship in a similar manner, Jocasta... welcome.”

Jocasta: “‘Welcome’...? You know, I think I like that word. Yes... I think I like it very much.”

You will believe that even an android without tear ducts can feel like crying but not physically be able to!

I mean, sucks that it takes literally saving the entire team for them to give her the time of day but finally! Justice for Jocasta! Small talk and conversations and anecdotes! Give unto her your socializing!

Just please. Writers. Give her stuff to do! Don’t let this be the Falcon again except she was on the team longer and has done LESS.

That aside: Taskmaster?

I think he has a good showing for why he’s a lasting and beloved villain. He doesn’t really have the motivation to try to take over the world or become god or kill that blasted Richards like Dr. Doom but he’s not really a villain of the week like Sandman or Stilt-Man either. He has bigger ambitions than robbing banks but smaller ones than robbing worlds.

He figured out a good pragmatic way to rake in ill-gotten gains without having to go out and engage in fighting superheroes himself.

And when superheroes did get involved in his work he had the clarity to see that discretion was way better than valor. Like 1000 times better.

And his powers are interesting, if not flashy, and present a way that he can punch way out of his weight class.

Some writers take it too far where super reflexes just means he wins unless you can come up with something unexpected when really even if he can imitate moves perfectly, he shouldn’t be able to do them with the same power or speed as some of the people he’s imitating.

But he’s an interesting dude and I can see why he stuck around.

Even if the way the story started wasn’t the strongest. I feel like there’s a disconnect between ‘growing a clone for free organ transplants’ and ‘super academy for training supervillain goons’ and I get that part of the point is that Dr. Solomon goofused up by spending resources on this and then got the Avengers involved when Taskmaster would have been running things on the DL forever.

But I feel that ‘growing a clone for free organ transplants’ is an interesting enough concept in its own right, even if it is now several movies, that it didn’t need to just be the opening band for Taskmaster.

And more could have been done with ‘super academy for training supervillain goons’ too honestly. I feel that its a hell of a secret to keep that all these supervillains are getting their goons from one place and the superheroes have remained oblivious.

It feels like there could have been a story in the Avengers trying to unravel the mystery of who is training these nerds and it ends up at Taskmaster.

But I don’t want to judge the comic on what it could have been. It was an interesting enough story of the Avengers saving someone who is not legally a person because the rights for clones are indeterminate in the Marvel Universe, not helped by most clones being grown to mess with Spider-Man or so Mr. Sinister has an inexhaustable supply of Marauders.

Next time, another three part storyline. But one that tangentially relates to Godzilla? Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

Follow @essential-avengers because when I was sick I felt bad about not doing posts and that’s good work ethic! Reward me!

[hgfstreamchats]

100 Scariest Movie Moments

Me Evening, Jalaperilo human! Jalaperilo Evening! just us? Me At the moment. Jalaperilo cool cool. hope the usual suspects turn up. i could do with a laugh Me You too? Jalaperilo yup. must be cause its halloween. makes everyone really shitty even though its the best holiday of the year, apart from pancake day

Me There we are! Jalaperilo yey! Jalaperilo If you're interested in horror and havent seen it yet, 'A History of Horror with Mark Gatiss' is a very good series from the BBC Me I think I absolutely need to see this. Jalaperilo he has a love for hammer horror and its fascinating to watch him go in depth on early horror Me Your horror scene fascinates me. You do so much with so little. Jalaperilo urgh Me As you do. Jalaperilo i love the birds Me Frightening and plausible. Birds are loveless beings. Jalaperilo they are Jalaperilo they threw brids at tippy hendren Me Just chucked them. Jalaperilo how did this beat out 28 days later? Me Gross injustice. Me So their eyes are cortical patches, basically. Jalaperilo haha. if only shockwave had made something already creepy even fucking scarier Me Give him time. Jalaperilo please lock him up haha Me Oh, Argento films. Jalaperilo your fave Me Well, maybe you should have been a better kisser. Jalaperilo it was really her, she just got bored of pretending he was good Me Hah! Me How did *this* beat out 28 Days Later? Jalaperilo right? weird. its not scary i love the wizerd of oz Me "Those terrible little vests." Jalaperilo what is it about british children that other countries think are creepy all the kids i know are little shits Me I've always wondered about that one myself. Jalaperilo I wonder if Alien is gonna be on this list, cause that is quite horror like Me Do you want me to tell you if it is? Jalaperilo sure. i dont think im gonna last the full 3 hours lol Me It is. Jalaperilo \O/ Me I didn't expect anyone to! I intended this to be one of those things people can drop in and out of, but no one else is dropping in. Jalaperilo cowards Me I thought she was going to leave it at "Don't buy a house." Jalaperilo hahah i thought all of the USA was built on indian burial grounds? Me True! Jalaperilo i love how Bela Lugosi's accent influenced all future instances of dracula Me You just can't improve on it. Jalaperilo sings is a stupid film signs* Me It has a terrible ending. Jalaperilo it just doesnt make sense why the aliens would come to earth Me The dimmest aliens in the history of the universe. Jalaperilo lol tony todd! what a voice Me It's a *very* nice voice. Jalaperilo urg WHAT Me And this beat out Bees In the Mouth. Jalaperilo god people will say anything as a talking head Me They don't even show it, like they're properly ashamed for including it. Jalaperilo haha. i watched that film multiple times as a kid and it never scared me Me The only human horror film I've ever been frightened by is The Brave Little Toaster. Jalaperilo understandable all the cybertronians i follow or seen have expressed a dislike for that film Me It's just not necessary. Jalaperilo this is the only shyamalan film i like, but my dad did spoil it for me so i knew everything already Me And the twist is basically everything. Jalaperilo ikr? what a twat Jalaperilo reanimator! my fave of all time! Me Isn't that the one where one of the humans sounds eerily like Ratchet? Jalaperilo yes! and he messes around injecting green shit into things as well! Me Ratchet's no longer allowed to judge me. Jalaperilo i think the cat scene should have been the example. the swinging light makes it so much scarier Me I don't think that's making love. Jalaperilo it still gets me Me Although she doesn't seem to be tied down to anything. Jalaperilo also her dad's zombie corpse is also in the room its so messe up but so much fun Me Kinky? Jalaperilo im kinkshaming Me Ooh! Jalaperilo i havent seen this film looks intereszting Me I'm very tempted to stream it someday. Me I can understand why humans cringe at this one. Jalaperilo bones and teeth are awful blood and guts im fine Me That sound would bother me too if I only got one set of teeth. Me More teeth. Jalaperilo wasnt there a recent story of an old dentist office that was being redeveloped and they found thousands of teeth in the wall? Me That's even worse. Jalaperilo ikr? why keep them? its like you keeping used transistors or something Me Exactly. There's no non-horrifying reason for it. Jalaperilo whoa! r-word! Me But the corpse head was lovemaking. Seems legit. Jalaperilo but what could have been the difference! Me We'll just never know!

Me Hello there, Nickel! Minibot-Nickel Heya knocky~ Jalaperilo yo! Minibot-Nickel Heya~ Me I like how the rabbit is the line. Jalaperilo animals are where we draw the line. fuck other humans Me It's a reasonable line. Minibot-Nickel people in animal suits freak me out Jalaperilo *insert furry joke* Minibot-Nickel *shudders* Me There really isn't. Minibot-Nickel you know... hearing my tea maker brewing is probably not helping with the scary aspect of the show XD Jalaperilo haha Me Oh, I like The Vanishing. Jalaperilo mark kermode is one of our greatest film critics he's the only one i'll really listen to Me He seems like he knows his scrap. Minibot-Nickel *holds out rust sticks* want some? Me Thank you! Jalaperilo he's incredibly fair in his critiques Minibot-Nickel so THAT'S mr. del toro~ Jalaperilo one for you ko! Me Indeed! Me That seems short-sighted. Jalaperilo the oldies are the best Me No arguments here. Jalaperilo ok.im tapping out. enjoy the rest of the countdown! Me Good night, Jalaperilo human! Jalaperilo ill have to look up what number 1 is Me It's...a movie, to be sure. Jalaperilo good night knockout-cybertronian! no way! good night nickle! Minibot-Nickel Night, night, jalaperilo-firend~ Me And he just casually props them up. That won't go wrong. Minibot-Nickel This halloween, i want to give myself nightmares~ Me 'Tis the season. Minibot-Nickel if this doesn't do it, then i'm gonna watch ghost stories/adventures/hunters tomorrow~ Me And even if it does! Minibot-Nickel i'll drink to that~ Minibot-Nickel phone just rang and scared the hell out of me Me Rude of you, phone. Minibot-Nickel on the up side, mun's going swimming tomorrow Me He just toddles out the door. Minibot-Nickel i'm curious what the hell it was Me You're not the only one. Minibot-Nickel (red, white, blue, finials and a judgmental stare) Minibot-Nickel i've always wanted to see the hills have eyes Me It's a rough one. Minibot-Nickel oh? spoilers? Me This happens, for starters. Minibot-Nickel OAO Minibot-Nickel now this sounds fun Me That human has a fun job. Minibot-Nickel i wonder what would happen if a realistic zombie movie was made? Me 28 Days Later was fairly realistic. Minibot-Nickel oh~ i'll have to look into it. though i can say with confidence than zombies wouldn't last long in florida Me Florida, where no one should ever be. Minibot-Nickel the hell state Minibot-Nickel what was that one movie about the haunted big rigs who menaced the humans looking for fuel? Me That's the one! Minibot-Nickel which one? i've seen it, but can't remember the name Me Duel? Minibot-Nickel oh~ i'll haveta rewatch it Minibot-Nickel kill it with fire Me Kill it with extra fire. Me I think it's fairly obvious he wants to frag him. And also ruin his life. Me No, no. You knew exactly what their relationship was. Why are humans like this? Minibot-Nickel what did i miss? Me The Hitcher, the big gay horror road movie. Also The Fly. Minibot-Nickel the big gay horror road? Minibot-Nickel children are demons confirmed Me Human ones especially. And yes, The Hitcher's a very twisted romance. Minibot-Nickel human children.... why do they exist? Minibot-Nickel one nearly busted my audials... Me How did that happen? Minibot-Nickel teen sex SHOULD be met with carnage and i think the kid didn't get a sweet they wanted at a checkout line Me I do love that movie. Minibot-Nickel if ya wanna do a movie night one day, i'll make the sweets and some high grade drinks~ Me Sounds lovely! Minibot-Nickel it'll be so great~ Minibot-Nickel i wanna see this Me I like the title. Minibot-Nickel that guy has an unfortunate last name Me Which one? Minibot-Nickel rockoff Me Hah. Me Well, good luck, kids! Minibot-Nickel *chinhands* Me HAH! Today Me Who sleeps with a single light shining on their face? Minibot-Nickel no one sane Me Nothing of value was lost. Me HERE WE ARE! Minibot-Nickel i bet you anything, soundwave'd do that XD Me I'd believe it. Minibot-Nickel vos did that to me once and i couldn't sleep for a week after Me Oh, yes, yes, this is what I love. Best of movies, best of humans. Minibot-Nickel humans really have a wide variety of ways to kill each other Me Well, so do we. Minibot-Nickel true. very true Me Astrotrain? Minibot-Nickel astrotrain? Me "Lie down and the devil will come have sex with you." Minibot-Nickel did astro fuck unicron? Minibot-Nickel we're at jacobs ladder Me I think so? Me There we are. Apologies for that. Minibot-Nickel it's no prob~ Minibot-Nickel "torture is love" the djd's motto Me I see why you're so popular throughout the multiverse. Minibot-Nickel believe it or not, but i got the hell out of dodge Me Really! Minibot-Nickel yup. i'm a free range medic now. the others are either smeared or atomic dust now Me Worse things to be than a free range medic. Minibot-Nickel true. might open up a bakery Me Ooh! Minibot-Nickel yep~ roll out the sweets~ Me The noblest profession. Minibot-Nickel and of course, in the back room come the medicinal sweets~ Minibot-Nickel i have an uncle named damien Me It's a nice name, honestly. Minibot-Nickel scream sounds funny Me You know, I've never seen it! But it does. Me This one *technically* has eye business, heads up. Minibot-Nickel wanna wait for it to buffer for a bit? Me But no damage to the eyeball itself, if that makes a difference. Minibot-Nickel i wanna see this so bad Me It's a good one. Minibot-Nickel love the pun you made earlier Me Not the eyeballs. The area around them. Me I do my best. Minibot-Nickel oooooo top ten~ Me Starscream, hello! You're just in time for the final stretch. Minibot-Nickel hello screamy~ Starscreamapillar Excellent. I was hoping to not miss the whole stream. Me Sproing. Starscreamapillar The scariest thing in the world is the neighbours. Not inaccurate... Me Not at all. Minibot-Nickel (i was too oblivious to notice highschool hell XD) Minibot-Nickel there's nothing more frightening than an expert weilding powertools Starscreamapillar You mean a medic? Me I was about to say, I take offense. Me Look at that rowdy old man go. Starscreamapillar These descriptions, without having actually seen the movie in full, make it sound very bizarre, but not scary. Me I found it bizarre, but not all that scary. Me Why would you follow a sound? Ever? Starscreamapillar Why would you follow that sound, in particular? Me Natural selection, presumably. Starscreamapillar That is not the best way to stab someone. Me Just wave the knife around and see what happens. Starscreamapillar Also not how to correctly fall down the stairs. Me Poor marks, stairs human. Go back and do it right. Starscreamapillar Dull surprise. Me Except for that. Minibot-Nickel XDDD Me Good for the mother. She's living her best afterlife. Minibot-Nickel it's what i wanna do in the afterlife Starscreamapillar Space crackers. They contain more sodium than earth crackers. Me And more space. Minibot-Nickel OAAAAAAOOOO Starscreamapillar They really think that a fish is the scariest? Me They thought Willy Wonky's boat ride was worse than 28 Days Later. Starscreamapillar . . . This list seems highly flawed. Me Maybe that was their logic. Give the first place to something no one would agree with as the scariest. Me Oh, no! A shark is doing shark things in the only place on Earth a shark lives! Starscreamapillar The horror! Me "But statistically speaking, almost surely won't!" Me Alright! It's late, but just one more for the road. Starscreamapillar Excellent. Minibot-Nickel one more three hour movie thing? Me Yes, Nickel. One more three hour movie thing. Me Still scarier than Jaws. Starscreamapillar It truly was, David S. Pumpkins. Minibot-Nickel true Starscreamapillar Absolutely. Me Well, on THAT note, I'm off into the dark to see what made our power glitch. Where nothing can possibly go wrong. Starscreamapillar Try not to be eaten by scraplets. Minibot-Nickel i'm gonna ty to not murder the neighbors~ they have their music blaring. it's midnight Me Just make sure to dissolve the spark chambers. Good night, everyone! So glad you could make it! Starscreamapillar Good night, and thank you for the nonsense, even if I missed most of it. Minibot-Nickel *hugs the knocky and screamy* Me You caught the choicest part.

[miyoron]

Miyo’s Anime of Various Notes 2017 Edition

This year was a good year for anime. I liked a lot of shows this year and I thought I would write up another one of these! Again, they're in no order really!

Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Dragon Maid

Dragon Maid as a series has definite problems. There's some kind of gross fan service and some really unhealthy feeling fetish stuff, especially from what I've heard and seen from manga snippets. However, despite all that, Kyoani was able to polish this show up into a nice little story about a dragon and her love for the woman who saved her life..and drank with her a lot out in the boonies one night. It's a really nice story though of a lonely person slowly getting a new lease on life with new friends who happen to be dragons. There's lots of good little character moments and it's nice that all of the characters grow as time go on really, even when one just plays MMOs all day and writes curse doujinshi. Also I can't listen to the opening theme without getting butterflies in my stomach from cute lovey doveyness.

Girls' Last Tour Girls' Last Tour takes place in the shell of a world that is on its last legs. There are crumbling buildings, technology long since in use and even the occasional grave site. Really, the world itself is kind of bleak, but the story of Chito and Yuuri is not an overtly sad one. It's the story of how as long as you have each other, you've got all you need in life. Seriously though, there are some good heart warming moments in here. The girl's have weirdly cute wide Hidamari Sketch style heads against the bleak background but it works really well. It has some really nice music too:  the rain drops song in patricular is super duper chill and is just a joy to listen to.

Recovery of an MMO Junkie It's nice to see an anime about people my age, that might be why this one interested me at first. On top of that though, it's a show where one can find a lot of familiar stories, especially if you've touched an MMO at any point in time. First and foremost though, Recovery of an MMO Junkie is a story about relationships though and how helpful they can be. These don't pertain to just romantic ones of course. Friends are super helpful when you're having a bad time, and as the show goes on, you can see just how much the friends Moriko is making along the way mean to her. It's a cute little story with some very cute moments and character designs. Morimori-chan is one of my favorite characters this year and I support her in every way. Sakurai is also a very good boy of course.

Love Live Sunshine Season 2 Last year I had season 1 on my list and the trend continued this year. The girls in Aqours just seem so much more realistic in their struggles than Muse ever did in the original show. They don't always get what they want; life does not just throw out miracles like Chika wants it to. But they don't let it stop them, and the girls keep going because, to quote the opening "we got dream." Seriously though, I am consistently pleased with this show and it helps that my favorite girl got her own episode early on. Also the studio has FINALLY figured out how to make the CGI look good compared to the previous series' attempts. Good music, good girls, good show. It still has 2 more eps but I'm confident with placing it here in my shows of the year of note.

Little Witch Academia Little Witch Academia has been bouncing around through various OVAs for the past couple years, so it was nice to finally get to see this show...be an actual show. It has a few ups and downs, which mainly are wishing a few characters got more screen time, and one specifically LESS screen time, but it's a very nice show. It's got a fun doofy protagonist who is doing her best even though she is terrible at magic. It has a haughty rival, even though only Akko sees her as on the same level, a cute nerd pal who reads anime Twilight and a mushroom obsessed creepo who got vored by a slime monster. I really do not know what else you need me to say. It's by Trigger so it's beautiful to watch? It has a Moomin reference? You can see the dumb guy from Pawn Stars but anime? It's a really good show. Real good.

Restaurant to Another World This show is a guilty pleasure honestly. It's fun to see the weird fantasy creatures ordering, mostly Japanese, cuisine in an interplanetary restaurant, yes. The main draw though is seeing the wonderfully animated and drawn food though. Every week watching this just made me hungry and it was hard not to drool a lot of the time. The characters are all really fun, even if they're essentially all interspersed between episodes. Almost all of them get their own little spotlight episodes in conjunction with their favorite particular dish. Most of all, I'll never forget Restaurant to Another World for giving me so many furry vore retweets from a random image I got from an episode. It's a fun show you can watch in the background and just admire the tastiness. Just, you know, maybe eat dinner first.

Interviews with Monster Girls Interviews with Monster Girls is not Monster Musume, that's the thing I can stress the most about this. It's about a world where there are just...monster girls! Join our way-too-into-them sensei as he...tries to honestly just learn about the differences between the folklore surrounding various monsters and how it ties into how they actually live in society. Also root on for a succubus as she tries to just let her mature woman side fly. It's very rough being a succubus in a super packed society did you know? Seriously though, it's a nice little show that oddly has more continuity than you'd think since it's not just an episodic 4koma style show. It's also got a dumb vampire with a shirt that has a cape design on the back, it's great.

Kira Kira Precure a la Mode This was the first Precure I've watched as it was on-going so it's been a fun ride. It has a bunch of magical girls who are also animals but ALSO are desserts. It also has some of most fun looking CGI I've seen in anime before, but that seems to be what Precures are good at so it's not that surprising for series veteran watchers I'm sure. Either way, it's a good story about friends and fairies and sweets. It's made me want to bake dumb anime cookies for an upcoming con and fill them with kira*kiraru. It has a really fun ending theme too...well both of them really. I'll look forward to see what the Precures are up to next in the coming series, but I'll never forget these girls.

Umaruchan R I liked the original Umaru season well enough, but the second season has really been going all in on the fun. On top of that, a lot of the characters have gotten more screen time and more character development even. We learn more about Sylphin, Kirie and Ebina, and  Umaru and Taihei's sibling relationship is shown to be a lot nicer too. It's not like before where she was always just a terrible brat trash girl, now she's just that SOME of the time. You can tell they really love each other though, and not in a gross way that other anime like to do with siblings. Also it's shown just how being friends has helped the other girls, and even Umaru herself really. It's a good show and I'm glad that it managed to get better on its second at bat.

Big Gold Star Show

Kemono Friends Kemono Friends is...well It's not really a good show. It has a hilariously low budget and even worse CGI. It's a lot like a picture drawn by your 5 year old where it's not fine tuned yet but it makes you feel kind of good anyway. It has some really cute character designs of this bunch of doofy animals that are just living their lives. Whether it's going to battle every day against their long time rival, wandering ruins looking for coins or just singing to their hearts content, there is something about the Friends that just makes you root for them. It's not a show you need to watch, but you might just like it if you do. Sugoooooi~

Old Anime of the Year

These are shows that I watched that didn't necessarily come out this year but that's when I watched them. It's pretty simple!

Osomatsu-san Sheeeh! I watched this one on the recommendation of a buddy. A remake of a series from the 1960's about sextuplet brothers modernized into terrible dirtbag NEETs. This show is full of weird, often gross, things, but there's something about its manic humor that just speaks to me. The brothers are terrible terrible terrrrrible boys but you can find good points about them too. I've been watching season 2 as well this season so this will probably carry over into next year as an old anime of the year. Sooo...let's just say Osomatsu-san is an Old Anime of the Year 2016-2018. Ok? Cool!

Yuri on Ice I had this on last year's list of shows to look into and I'm very glad I continued it. It tells a really good story about gaining confidence and learning to feel good about yourself. Yuuri's journey along the way is wonderful. Because of that, this is another series I'm looking forward to the second season of to see where it goes. My only complaint was that it was a little repetitive but that's probably how sports anime go huh? I liked watching the routines and listening to the songs. It also has a great cast of side characters like Chris with the great butt, the weird vampire guy and Phichit, your best friend. There's also J.J. who is full of himself, sure, but there's just something fun about him still. Here's to more ice boys!

Konosuba Konosuba is a series full of lovable dummies. Like...execeptionally dumb. Like..super..SUPER dumb. But that's really what's so fun about them. I had some Ah! My Goddess vibes with the series' set up except Aqua is a much much much more flawed goddess than Belldandy ever was. Seriously though, this series takes the isekai/reborn in another world from our world genre and takes it in a direction that's actually fun instead of retreading the same old stories. It's got explosion mages, it's got really awkward paladins and it has a very put on dullahan who just wants to have his evil schemes go the way he planned. I need to watch season 2 still, and if it's more of the same, I'm in for sure.

Heart Catch Precure This show was actually my first Precure several years ago, but my buddy and I didn't finish it before. Since we had been watching the new show, we decided to double up and watch both of them at the same time. Heart Catch is honestly a delight and has some of the things I like most in a magical girl show. It has fun heroes, it has really doofy villains and it has a whole lot of heart. It's episodic sure, but it has a really great art style that just makes it even more endearing to me. Also, episodic magical girls with dumb monsters is why I loved the original Sailor Moon anime. I also enjoy that the Precures just punch and dropkick things as their first course of action. You just can't step to a magical girl that's gonna just pop you in the jaw.

Ugh show?

Gabriel Drop Out I don't know whether to call this show an UGH show or just an ultimately lame one. I know it definitely is a 1 or 1.5 character show though. The best character is sweet dumb demon Satania who the show seems completely content to just dump on whenever it has the chance. I do not appreciate that anime. I don't at all. Please do not bully this sweet evil girl because she does not deserve it. This show was not as heinous as last year's Kuma Miko, but one of the characters is for sure a bad bad ugh one.

Anime to Check Out

I have a few shows I've had on my list to look at, mostly on my Crunchy Roll queue that I haven't gotten on due to a crazy good Fall season/laziness. Here they are!

Alice to Zoroku I watched the first episode of this back in the summer and I didn't take the time to finish it up. I plan to fix that in the coming year since I like the premise and I really liked the old man especially. I look forward to learning more about them in the future!

The Ancient Magus' Bride This one I've mostly seen interesting looking pics of so I'm curious. I like cool skeleton wizard looking things and anime. This seems reasonable enough to me.

One Punch Man This is still happening right? Yea, definitely gonna watch that.

[mst3kproject]

1102: Cry Wilderness

Cry Wilderness is, in my humble, unprofessional opinion, the worst movie of Season 11.  Every other film on the list had some kind of redeeming quality.  Avalanche had nice scenery.  The Christmas that Almost Wasn't took a look at the weird relationship between generosity and greed during the holiday season.  At the Earth's Core had Peter Cushing filling the caverns of Pellucidar with the fucks he did not give.  The Beast of Hollow Mountain proved that dinosaurs really do make everything better, even boring cowboy movies.  The only serious competition comes from Carnival Magic, but I'm giving the Garbage Crown to Cry Wilderness on the grounds that Carnival Magic was a bit less racist.

Last summer a boy named Paul met Bigfoot, and they became best friends – or at least, Paul became Bigfoot's coke dealer.  In the autumn when Paul has returned to boarding school, he wakes up in the middle of the night to see Bigfoot standing outside his window, telling him to go find his father immediately.  You don't just ignore a message like that, so Paul hitchhikes across the country to the national park where his dad works.  There he learns that the park rangers have been ordered to hunt down a mysterious predator that's decimated the local wildlife.  Could that be Bigfoot?  Paul certainly seems to think so, and he does everything in his power to thwart the hunters' quest.

This movie's Bigfoot looks really, really stupid.  Remember that episode of The Simpsons when Homer got covered in mud and moss and mistaken for Bigfoot?  If you've ever wondered what that would look like in real life, this is the movie for you.

It's tempting to compare Cry Wilderness to Pod People. Both are set in the woods, have weirdly irrelevant titles, and are about a lonely child's sugar-based friendship with a furry humanoid that doesn't talk.  I find, however, that Cry Wilderness reminds me more of Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders, in that it's just uncomfortable to watch.  The movie feels forced, as if the actors are doing all that awkward laughing at gunpoint.  The best metaphor I can think of to describe this is to draw your attention to the skin tones the makeup people used for Red Hawk and Jim – these don't look so much 'Native American' as they do 'nasty sunburn'.  The whole movie is like that. Everything it aims for, it misses its marks in ways that are gross and kind of painful-looking.

Yet for all Cry Wilderness is tremendously, tooth-grindingly terrible in every possible respect, I have to say that it actually does one thing pretty well.  It is better than Boggy Creek 2 at making us wonder about Bigfoot's status within the animal kingdom.

If you'll recall, in Boggy Creek 2 Lockhart spent a lot of time wondering if Bigfoot were man or beast, while events completely failed to back him up.  The Bigfoot of that film stole food, defended its territory and its young, investigated new objects, and feared fire.  The audience got the impression that Bigfoot was probably about as intelligent as a bear, which really isn't bad – any zookeeper will tell you bears are bright, curious animals that learn quickly.  What Boggy Creek's Bigfoot was not was especially human-like, not even in the ridiculous way sometimes presented in killer animal movies, like when the creatures of Bats somehow know that attacking power lines will leave humans unable to see in the dark (more on this when I get around to Phase IV).

Cry Wilderness, on the other hand, sets Bigfoot up as an ambiguous figure right from the opening scene.  When Paul describes his friendship with Bigfoot, he mentions two things the creature really likes: Coca-Cola and a radio.  A lot of animals, from insects on up to great apes, like soft drinks, and for exactly the same reason humans do – namely, soda pop is full of delicious diabetes and since sugars are the easiest source of calories the brain is programmed to seek them out.  One can imagine a monkey or raccoon learning to open a pop-tab can to get at the contents.  That doesn't really require a lot of higher cognitive ability, just dextrous fingers.  The radio, however, tells us that Bigfoot likes music.  A lot of science has been done about how animals react to music, but we still tend to think of it as characteristically human and that is how it is used in Cry Wilderness.  The suggestion is that a Bigfoot who enjoys listening to the chart-topping hits of 1987 can't be all beast.

Having thus established Bigfoot in this netherworld of 'neither man nor beast', the movie then goes to some trouble to keep him there. As the hunters close in, Bigfoot tries to evade them but leaves tracks and traces they can follow and makes no attempt to outsmart them, suggesting that he possesses no more than an animal's cunning. At the climax, however, he turns back to save Paul's father in an act of human-like altruism.  If this movie had Lockhart narrating at us about The Creature being More Man Than Animal, it would... well, Lockhart himself would still be an insufferable jackass, but he would at least seem to have a point.

But you guys have all seen the movie, so you're just waiting for me to get to the part where Bigfoot fucking talks.

There are two scenes in which Cry Wilderness presents Bigfoot as more of a supernatural entity than the mere undiscovered primate that the History Channel has sought so long and so fruitlessly.  The first is early in the movie, when Bigfoot appears outside Paul's window in the middle of the night to deliver his message in spoken, colloquial English.  This is very uncomfortable, as it makes Bigfoot just a little too human.  If he can talk, it becomes incredibly creepy that he's tracked a little boy down to where he sleeps.  The school principal argues that this sequence was nothing but a dream and I want to agree with him.  I feel better about it that way.

The second scene is at the end of the movie, when the formerly strict and skeptical principal gets a complete personality transplant and Bigfoot reappears, surrounded by deer and raccoons, to the delight of all.  I want to say this is a dream, too.  It seems like a piece of wish-fulfillment for Paul – he gets to prove that he's right, and the principal turns out to be not so bad after all. Unlike the previous dream sequence, however, it doesn't begin and end with Paul in bed.  It is presented as something that happened in the movie's real world, as if Bigfoot appears like Bloody Mary when you say his name.

If this is so, we seem to have a third possible identity for Bigfoot, which would make him neither man nor beast, but some kind of forest spirit.  This is actually not at all unprecedented as an interpretation.  Folklore is full of creatures that look like furry humans and act as guardians of the woods – there's the European woodwose, the Russian leszi, and the Chinese yeren, and of course the tales told by many Salish-speaking peoples of the American west coast, which are generally treated as Bigfoot stories.  Even the gorillai of Hanno the Navigator may be a version of this archetype, rather than a reference to what we now call gorillas. Such creatures are often described as tricksters or shapeshifters, and sometimes said to abduct or even eat misbehaving children.

Bigfoot as a sort of tutelary forest spirit, however, would seem to be very much at odds with Cry Wilderness' opening scene.  Here we see a Bigfoot-like humanoid in a museum, labeled as a species of primitive man.  This seems to offer a Bigfoot much more like the type cryptozoologists hunt for, a flesh-and-blood creature that could have its hair analyzed and its genome mapped and be placed firmly on a branch of the primate family tree.  Then again, maybe this, too, is intentionally ambiguous.  Maybe Cry Wilderness is telling us that we are simply not meant to know whether Bigfoot is man or beast, spirit or flesh, legend or reality, or that it can indeed be all of them at the same time.  The fact that we can't tell if Paul's school encounters are dreams or not may tie into this theme.

And that is one hundred percent of what's interesting about Cry Wilderness.  The rest of the movie is a lot of pointless bullshit, animal abuse, forced laughter, and boring Noble Savage stereotypes that will have your eyes rolling so hard you'll be staring yourself in the frontal lobe.  Looking around tumblr, it seems that a number of MSTies with Native American ancestry were very uncomfortable with its inclusion in the new series.  I kind of understand why.  Some things just don't deserve a wider audience, even if that audience is going to make fun of them.  A movie in which a child tells a man he's “just a dumb old Indian” and is never even reprimanded for it is arguably one of those things.

In closing, I would like to say that as a resident of the Rocky Mountain foothills, I do not believe in Bigfoot and I've never met anybody who does.  I've found evidence of bears, bobcats, cougars, and porcupines in my back yard, but nary a sign of Sasquatch.  Besides which, we live in an age when almost everybody has a camera on them constantly, and a near-unlimited capacity for sharing the photographs they take – if Bigfoot existed, we'd be slapping puppy ears on him in snapchat. You know we would.

[jae-bummer]

My Idol: Part Thirty

My Idol From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

My Idol is a South Korean competitive reality dating game show. It currently airs on Wednesday nights on Jae-bummer’s blog. First broadcast in 2016, the show offers the opportunity for a lucky fan to go on seven blind dates with seven idols. The idol plans the date with the show throwing in specific missions to complete during the day. At the end of the initial dates, the show opens up an audience vote to decide what three idols will move on to the second date.

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12 - Part 13 - Part 14 - Part 15 - Part 16 - Part 17 - Part 18 - Part 19 - Part 20 - Part 21 - Part 22 - Part 23 - Part 24 - Part 25 - Part 26 - Part 27 - Part 28 - Part 29 - Part 30 - Part 31

Day 1: 

“Honey...

HOney.

HONEY.”

Your eyes slowly came to terms with the light streaming into the room around you as Jooheon bounced happily atop of the mattress you were sleeping on. 

“What time is it?” you croaked, running a tired hand across your face. You knew you looked less than desirable as Jooheon smiled down on you. 

“Eight,” he nodded, giving a bounce as he spoke the numeral. “Time to wake up.”

“On what planet?” you groaned. “This is vacation, isn’t it? That means we sleep in.”

“Not when you have an action packed day full of fun!” he smiled, tilting his head back and forth as if he were a puppy. 

“Ugh, why do you have to be like this?” you gasped, flopping over and burying your face deep into a pillow. 

“It’s one of my many charms,” he chuckled, rubbing your back now that it was available to him. “C’mon honey, get up.” 

“Jooheon,” you sighed, leaning around to peak at him from behind your blankets. “Why do you call me honey? I call you Heoney and that’s pretty similar, don’t you think?”

“Simple,” he nodded. “It’s because I’m a Heoney bee. Heoney bees love honey.” 

Jooheon smiled to himself for a moment at his clever pun before his face went entirely blank. He began to laugh nervously before words began to spew from his mouth. “Not like I love you or anything yet. That takes a lot of work. Love that is. The big “L” word. Lovey love love...uh-”

“Jooheon,” you hummed, cutting him off. “I know you didn’t mean it like that.”

“Really?” he asked, his eyes wide. “Promise?”

“Promise,” you sighed. “Even if I am pretty lovable.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he laughed. “You’d be more lovable if you got up.”

“So...like...if we end up pursuing a relationship, does that mean I always get woken up this early?” you muttered. “Because if the answer is yes, it could weigh heavily on my decision going forward.”

“Aigoo,” Jooheon chuckled. “Would you just get up already?”

“So...you are telling me...” you croaked, looking up at the building before you. “That you woke me up...to get an early start at the-”

“JEJU ISLAND’S TEDDY BEAR MUSEUM!” Jooheon grinned, flinging his hands in the air before you. You heard a snort behind you, signifying that Armpit or Sweaty found the situation to be fairly amusing. This caused you to groan and stomp your foot as if you were a small child. 

“Lee Jooheon, what could possibly be so entertaining that could not wait another hour or two?” you gasped. 

“Well, for starters,” he hummed, pulling a small brochure from his back pocket. You furrowed your brows, unsure of how he possibly got ahold of the flyer in the first place. “You can find out everything you ever wanted to know about teddy bears. I don’t know about you, but I’ve always wondered-”

You lifted your brows as you watched Jooheon speak, not necessarily listening to his words, but watching his facial expressions and his mannerisms. He was generally a pretty emotive and physically expressive person, but in this moment, he was on his highest setting. He looked so completely enamored and engaged by the idea of learning about the history of teddy bears, that you couldn’t help but be thrilled as well. 

Jooheon was funny in that way. In so many situations, you were easy to shy away or become disinterested, but you knew if he were to show any sort of interest, it would be near infectious. If Jooheon was excited, you would inevitably become excited as well. 

But you would come to learn that you could immediately regret his excitement. 

You had never seen so many stuffed bears in the entirety of your life. There were bears posed as famous pieces of art, bears posed as celebrities, and bears posed as historical figures. There were bears set in historical scenes, modern spaces, and even once set in a jurassic situation. You saw bears in dresses, bears in coveralls, and bears in suits. Some bears stood life size while others were taller than you. 

Needless to say, by the time you arrived at the gift shop, you were teddy beared out. 

“Which one?” Jooheon asked softly, eying up a small and squishy bear located on a shelf at eye level. “You can have any one you want.” 

“Please,” you hummed, pushing your face into his shoulder. “No more.”

“When we’re driving away and you’re upset because you didn’t get a teddy bear from the Jeju Teddy Bear Museum, I don’t want to hear it,” Jooheon clucked, kissing the top of your head softly. You chuckled to yourself and leaned back, giving a soft slap to his shoulder. 

“Fine, pick one for me,” you muttered. 

“I pick him,” he nodded, grabbing at a particularly chubby bear. “He looks like he needs to be appreciated.”

“Mmm, you think?” you asked, tilting your head and taking the bear carefully into your hands. “You think he would be interested in becoming a contestant on My Idol?”

“I don’t know,” Jooheon chuckled, lifting his brows. “Would I have to surrender my spot in the finale to him?”

“That could be a possibility,” you grinned, elbowing your date. “What a plot twist that would be.”

“I can’t take any more plot twists to be honest,” he sighed. “I’m sick of showing up for a voting special and everything is on fire.”

After Jooheon had paid for your small and furry friend, you found yourselves both looking for some sort of sustenance. It didn’t take long for you to locate a cafe on your phone and have the My Idol SUV transport you to your desired location. 

The two of you settled into a table at Cafe Two Weeks, a quaint, little restaurant you could easily spend a few weeks in exploring on your own. You were amazed by the hidden gems Jeju had to offer and how easy it was to stumble upon something simply beautiful that you wouldn’t have known about otherwise. 

There were two floors of the cafe, with the second floor providing an exceptional view of the ocean. The seating you chose however, was placed in a secluded outdoor garden. It seemed to be the perfect place to get away from the bustling beaches and museums and simply relax for a few hours. 

“Heoney,” you called, looking over your menu at the handsome man. You recalled the question you had posed only a few days ago to Jay and thought about posing it to Jooheon as well. “I have a question.”

“And I have an answer,” he smiled with a wink. “I can’t always confirm you’ll like my answers though.”

“I’m at peace with that,” you nodded. “As long as the answers are honest.”

“No promises,” he chuckled, looking down at his menu. You watched as his eyes scanned carefully over the words printed on the page. “What’s up?”

“Why My Idol?” you asked simply. 

“I don’t know,” he hummed. “I thought it was honestly kind of a stupid name for a show to be honest, but what does my opinion-”

“No, Jooheon,” you sighed. “Why did you sign up for My Idol?”

“Ah,” he said with a small nod. His eyes lifted up from his menu and he placed the paper on the table before him. “I had a feeling you were going to ask that.” 

“Then you must have prepared a reaaaally good answer,” you grinned. 

“I was going to try to freestyle this one actually,” he smiled. “Why did I join My Idol? Well...the production crew approached Starship and wondered if any of us were interested. Somehow we’ve gotten the title of being broadcast friendly idols, so we were approached pretty early on...Originally Shownu hyung had volunteered as he was the oldest, followed by Wonho hyung, but our manager pushed for me to take the spot. At the time, a relationship was honestly the last thing I wanted. The goal was to get in and get out with only one thing on my mind...winning.”

“Oh,” you gasped, a bit taken back by his words. You knew Jooheon would be nothing but honest with you, but you had assumed most of the men had joined the show for the notoriety and spotlight on their respective groups. 

“The guys insisted we weren’t much good at winning things,” Jooheon chuckled, his cheeks immediately turning more and more red with a blush. “So I had to win. When I got here...well...I wasn’t quite expecting you.” 

You nodded with a small smile. Jay had held a similar sentiment. 

“I think it took me a few days after our date to realize...you weren’t just here to get famous from a reality television series. You weren’t here just to be able to brag about dating an idol. You actually wanted to get to know us and that was really important to me. Not many people want to get past the surface...and actually stay.” 

“You’re human after all,” you said softly. “Or at least that was the mantra I repeated to myself whenever I would have an initial date. Idols are regular people, just with a brighter spotlight.” 

“That’s a way to put it,” he nodded. “And you definitely haven’t shied away.”

“And I don’t plan to,” you grinned. “So...you joined My Idol because you wanted to win?”

“Well that and I knew there would be free food,” Jooheon laughed. “Speaking of, what are you ordering?” 

“Aigoo,” you grumbled. “Really?”

“This is important,” Jooheon nodded with wide eyes. “Will the cappuccino or americano make it to the season finale?” 

“You’re the worst,” you muttered under your breath. “And obviously the cappuccino, are you crazy?”

Jooheon smiled, his eyes disappearing in his cheeks. “Then I’ll pretend I’m the cappuccino then...even if the americano is better.” 

Day 2: 

You blinked heavily, your body slowly coming to terms with the idea of being awake. Stretching your arms out before you, you flopped over to the opposite side of the mattress and giggled to yourself. Jooheon was still solidly asleep in his bed, but both arms hung from the edge of the mattress and toward you. His mouth was slightly ajar, his light snores carrying through the suite. The noise wasn’t anything to keep you awake, but was just comforting enough to let you know he was there. His nose twitched, much like a bunny, as he groaned lightly between snores. He must have still been immersed in a dream. 

You nodded to yourself, confirming your consciousness. Your legs began the agonizing journey of uncovering themselves from deep within your covers and out into the open world. Your feet hit the hardwood with a light smack, causing a shiver to launch through your spine. The suite was definitely chilly this morning, but you were certain Jooheon had cranked down the temperate while you slept. You recalled from your first date how warm he had gotten, so you couldn’t blame him. 

Exhaling, you lifted yourself from the mattress and began to shuffle to the bathroom. After a beautifully warm shower, you threw on some clothes, and most importantly, your fuzzy robe. You slid open the back door of your room, careful not to stir the still snoozing Jooheon as you began to walk barefoot toward the sound of waves. 

It didn’t take you long to target the noise you had heard as soon as your My Idol SUV had pulled up to the hotel. Jeju was an island after all, so it seemed like it would be easy to find a beach in most situations. You wandered out onto the soft sand, barren of any tourists as it was just past sunrise and too early to begin sunbathing. You wrapped your arms around your waist and took a deep breath. 

You were feeling so many things in this moment, you weren’t quite sure where to even begin your thought processes. The past few months had been the most exciting of your life. It felt like every moment you had had up until the point when My Idol had begun had been so soft and quiet compared to this. These moments and memories, they screamed in your mind. They begged for attention and stood in glaring 4D color as you thought back on every moment. You had gone over date after date with such granularity that sometimes you were unsure of how your path had ended here, but you were here. 

That is what mattered. 

So many times during your journey it seemed like you could have simply given up. You would have avoided so much hurt, so many tears, and so much heartbreak if you would have simply told producers you couldn’t carry on. 

Especially after your date with Top when you had ended up in the hospital. 

Top...

That was a memory you weren’t prepared to think about. Especially not here. 

You thought back to the first results special. You dived back into the emotions that had been coursing through you as you spoke Jay’s name to the studio full of My Idol fans. You remembered Jooheon’s face as he realized the fans had voted him through for the first time. How could you deserve either man? They were both too perfect. 

You thought making a decision would be easier than this. You had never been swept up in such a tidal wave in the entirety of your life. You had never thought you’d be involved in a love triangle, and yet here you were, stuck between two rappers who sat on different ends of the spectrum. 

Jay was rough around the edges, but extremely soft at his core. You quickly learned that most of his facade was just that, a flimsy covering to remain unexposed to the world. He attempted to act hard and use coarse words when before the cameras, but when it was only the two of you, he dissolved into a wonderful partner. He was funny, supportive, and deeply attached. He cared about your well being and had been the only man to actually go as far as to break the rules to make you fall in love with him...

love...

were you in love with him? 

The word made your stomach churn. 

And then there was Jooheon. You had never thought of him as being rough around the edges, but he did have a definite exterior, just as Jay did. Jooheon was very put together and extremely talented. He shone in everything he did and you felt as if your light was never dull while he was around. He added energy to a room and made you feel wanted. He had played by every rule My Idol had thrown at him and kept a smile on his face the entire time. You had begun your journey by simply identifying as his fan...

and now he had mentioned introducing you to his mother as his girlfriend? 

You had been called worse things, that was for sure. 

“I was worried,” a raspy voice cooed as a pair of sweater paw-ed hands wrapped around your own huddled body. You smiled to yourself as you identified the sleepy tone to belong to Jooheon who nuzzled his face into your neck. “I didn’t know where you went.”

“I needed some fresh air,” you sighed. “Life is hard.”

“Well...yes,” Jooheon chuckled. “But why in this particular circumstance?” 

You took a deep breath in and let it out slowly. “I’m not going to subject you to the inner workings of my head.”

“Yes, you will,” he grinned. “That’s what being in a relationship is about, Y/N. I know we aren’t technically official, but if we want to prep for the future-”

“That’s half the problem, Heoney,” you grumbled, cutting him off. “The future.”

“Explain,” he sighed. He unwrapped his arms from around you and plopped into the sand. He patted the ground beside him before drawing his knees up and resting his arms on them. 

You grumbled as you landed onto the sand beside him and stared into the waves crashing before you. “I don’t know what to do.”

“I was worried about that,” Jooheon sighed. “I was kind of hoping that it was such an obvious answer...that you wouldn’t have any second thoughts about it.” 

“I wish,” you muttered. “You are both just...terribly good guys. You’ve done so well and treated me so right.” 

“But not well enough,” he muttered, gazing out into the waves again. “Not well enough to make you forget about Jay Park.”

“It’s kind of difficult when I’m actively dating both of you,” you laughed bitterly. “I don’t want to make this a competition...”

“It is a competition,” Jooheon whispered. “It has been from the beginning. That’s the whole point. What idol can catch your interest and your heart...isn’t it?”

“It’s more than a competition,” you grumbled, furrowing your brows. You looked up to Jooheon and tilted your head. This was one of the first times he had ever used such a stern tone with you and it sent up an alarm of discomfort in your head. “It’s my reality, Jooheon.”

“Which is why I’ve taken it so seriously,” he nodded. “Some people play by the rules in life, Y/N and they get rewarded for it. Jay hyung has done nothing but break rules and he’s been getting rewarded this whole time. I hate the way this works.”

“You don’t think you’ve been rewarded?” you questioned. 

“I’ve seen the message boards,” he sighed. “I’ve been on Tumblr, and Twitter, and the fancafe...So many people talk about how Jay has unexpectedly caught their interest...how I don’t even stand a chance. I’m so worried they’re right...that in your head you’re thinking the same thing.”

You closed your eyes tightly, only reopening them again once tiny stars had begun to fill your vision. “Jooheon...”

“I know me complaining isn’t attractive,” he grumbled. “And people are used to seeing me be this happy virus, but these are the things that worry me. These are the thoughts that make me think “should I have done these things instead?” I’m always wondering if I’m enough.”

You were near tears as you placed your hand on Jooheon’s shoulder and gave a light squeeze. “But you are enough.” 

“It’s hard being an idol,” he clucked, near tears himself. “You are always wondering if people want to date you or be your friend because they think you’re so successful. You have your family, but they’re far away. You have your managers, but they’re busy making schedules. You have your members...but at the end of the day...after a show or an interview...it’s just you alone in that hotel room. Or that dorm room. Or that bus. You and your thoughts, your dreams, your emotions...Y/N...

I just...

I don’t want to be alone anymore...”

[vivalatoons]

My Talk: Wander Over Yonder

If you’re ever need some help, look for an orange, furry person and his best friend who’s a Zbornak. I’m talking about the great cartoon, Wander Over Yonder. We celebrate the show’s 4 year anniversary with a reflection of Wander Yonder Over. Doodley doot da doot doot, whoo!

Originally, this was supposed to be posted on June 27th on the one year anniversary of “The End of the Galaxy”. Something happened, and it didn’t post. I was upset, because it was lost forever. Thanks to @peepsqueak she has My Talk from her email. She noticed me about it, and I thank her a lot for saving me from doing this all over again. That’s the story. Again thank you to @peepsqueak, and let’s get into this reflection.

It was 2013 when I saw a commercial of this orange person wanting to give this skeleton a sandwich. The skeleton man was getting furious at him. A new show titled, “Wander Over Yonder” was coming to Disney Channel.

August 16, 2013 The Picnic premiere. The episode starts with Lord Hater and Emperor Awesome battling to get a wish from a visiting celestial being during the aligning of the planets that happens once every millennium. Wander is also there to watch the aligning of the planets, which makes Hater angry. Hater can’t achieve his goal on getting his wish, when Wander offers him a sandwich and taking photos. Hater realized that the planets are almost aligning, and rushes to ask the visiting celestial being a wish. Before he says what he wanted, Wander comes over to take more photos. Angry at Wander, he wished Wander would leave him alone for 5 seconds. The celestial being granted that wish, and everyone isn’t happy. The being leaves, and Wander continues to take more photos of Lord Hater and Commander Peepers. They would fall down, Sylvia would leave the restroom and asked Wander what she’d miss, Wander has photos he took that shows what has happened, ending the episode. I really liked what I saw in this show. I laughed, the characters were great, and the story was simple but fun to watch. From there, I decided to watch more of Wander Over Yonder. It’s worth knowing that Wander Over Yonder would broadcast to Disney XD starting with episode 15.

Plot. The plot is simple to follow. Wander, who’s an optimistic being, and his Zbornak steed, Sylvia travel the galaxy to help anyone in need. While they help others or having fun, they always followed by Lord Hater, Commander Peepers, and his army of Watchdogs. They would help bring an egg back to its nest, delivering a box, bring a baby back to their parents, return a sock, give everyone a gift, and do more good deeds in the galaxy.

Characters. Wander and Sylvia are the good guys who help those in need. Lord Hater wants to be the greatest villain in the galaxy, but gets distracted from chasing Wander. Commander Peepers is Hater’s right hand man eyeball in command. These four are the main characters of this show. There’s a lot of recurring characters, like the Watchdogs, Emperor Awesome, and other villains and creatures that need help.

Season 2. This season would shift from silly to a bit serious. Season 2 would introduce a new villain to the show, Lord Dominator. Dominator is more of a villain than Hater is. Dominator likes to destroy planets than conquer them. Under all that armor, Dominator is an alien woman who likes to bully everyone in the galaxy. Wander and Sylvia still continue to help people, but have to deal with Lord Hater and Lord Dominator along the way. This season shows how Wander and Hater make breakfast, Sylvia collecting all of Wander’s personalities, an epic battle with the villains, Hater having a rock and roll concert, an cartoon in a cartoon, a musical special, Wander and Sylvia traveling in the past and future, and more stuff like that. Just as I was excited about how this season was amazing, I saw something I never wanted to see.

March 5, 2016. Craig McCracken announced that Wander Over Yonder isn’t coming back for a 3rd season. The reason Disney didn’t give the show a 3rd season was because they felt that 80 episodes of Wander Over Yonder were enough. I doubt this claim, because I think Disney cancelled it because of ratings. Craig also stated it wasn’t ratings. Then, I was lost. Why would Disney XD cancel a show with such upbeat tone and puts a smile on your face? This news did drop hard on me. Knowing the show was over made me mad and I would say “I hate this network, they made the biggest mistake of their life.” My anger wasn’t going to do anything. I got over it slowly, but I still continue to watch the new episodes. As I was smiling and laughing at what I saw, deep down I knew the end was coming.

The final episode. I was in Ohio, visiting family over the summer. I was in my grandparents’ home. It was a typical day until it was time. I went to the TV room, turn on the TV, and loudly sing the theme song. As the episode was playing, I was screaming, fangirling, laughing, crying, and cheering. I was feeling a lot of emotions. I absolutely love the finale. The finale was outstanding and had a perfect sendoff also the ending animatic had a twist, and I’m not talking about it because I’ll get mad.

Animation. If there’s one word to describe the animation, it’s bright. I truly admire the animation style. Everything from background, characters, ships, etc has such a nice palette of colors. It grabs my eyeballs, and I can’t stop looking at the screen. The animators in this show has such great talent.

Voice acting. Another great group of talent in the show. Jack McBrayer voiced Wander, April Winchell voiced Sylvia, Keith Ferguson voiced Lord Hater, and Tom Kenny voiced Commander Peepers. Lord Dominator was voiced by Noël Wells and Fred Tatasciore when Dominator is in armor. Wander Over Yonder had some great guest stars on their show. They include Aziz Ansari, James Marsden, Edie McClurg, G Hannelius, Will Arnett, “Weird Al” Yankovic, Jon Hamm, Eddie Deezen, Alex Hirsch, Jason Ritter, Kristen Schaal, and more. Every character in Wander Over Yonder has amazing person voicing them.

#SaveWOY. This started as a petition from Change, created by Gemma Cummins. She runs @peepsqueak and continues to help get Wander Over Yonder a 3rd season. The petition was to encourage Disney to make Wander Over Yonder season 3 happen. People would sign up for it, and the campaign got stronger. Now, every 27th of the month we post things to make Wander Over Yonder trend. There’s also Operation F.O.R.C.E, where fans around the world help Lord Hater conquer the Earth by taking photos of places with the Hater flag. Fans still want a 3rd season, they’re not going to stop until Wander gets the ending they deserve. Link is here to sign the petition: https://www.change.org/p/walt-disney-encourage-disney-to-make-wander-over-yonder-season-3

Craig McCracken. A man who deserves a lot of praise for being in the animation world. Craig has created The Powerpuff Girls (1996), Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends, and Wander Over Yonder. I love how he tells stories, his animation style, and the message he put in his shows. @crackmccraigen is such a treasure in the animation world. I love him and he’s the one of the greatest cartoonist in history.

Wander Over Yonder as a way to think positive. It’s no shock that Wander is full of optimism. This show is full of that. No matter what happens, Wander always look on the bright sides of a problem. I mention this, because we need Wander Over Yonder in the world. As current news can be depressing and horrible, we need A LOT of positive thinking and optimism in our lives. What I love about the show is that fans say the show helped them in their lives. No doubt it has made a life a bit easier. I would have depressing periods where I kinda feel numb. I would turn on Wander Over Yonder, and it makes me feel a little happier. It does help me pull me out of those dark times. This part of Wander Over Yonder has a great impact of fans and people. For a cartoon to help people with their lives, that is incredible.

Wander Over Yonder is one of the greatest things that Craig McCracken has created. It has clever humor, creative storytelling, and amazing animation to look at. I highly recommend this show for anyone who wants some positivity in their life. It’s so interesting how Craig created Wander and he represents optimism, happiness, and just a bouncing ball of joy. I do hope Wander does get a season 3. I continue to spread the word about this show. I think if anyone needs to smile or be cheer up, Wander is the key. This show is an underrated gem that everyone needs in their lives. Everything about this show has a huge smile on my face. At the end of the day, I always live by WWWD. What would Wander do? This orange, furry spoon would do anything to help anyone in need, cheer someone up, or play his banjo.