#himbo (derogatory)

[pepsidogonline]

Did he really have to dress like that to referee matches

[patheticblorbloscholar]

Does Jake just not question why Spider doesn't want to go back to Hells gate? Did he make sure the people he trusted to foster Spider actually wanted him? Because, in the comic Hells gate for Spider was Hell. He didn't want to ever return there. Jake, seriously did you just not care to ask⁉️

[tottenhamhotsperm]

it was never a secret that ibushi is stupid but for his sake and everyone else's I genuinely hope he gets the surgery he needs and heals up. it's depressing seeing the current state of his career compared to kenny's when they're of similar age and started wrestling at around the same time. I love him as a performer and I would do anything to see a golden lovers match in aew with him and kenny wrestling at even half the level they were at their prime

[ninallthatjazz]

Stede and Pete kneeling in their bamboo prison instead of just walking away will never not be funny to me 😂

[bigassbowlingballhead]

Oxnard is such a himbo I love him so much 😭

ox is far from a himbo. sure, he's big, kind, and loves his pack. but he's not dumb. a himbo, must be dumb.

it's kind of a huge point of his character, that his daddy, before he leaves, makes ox feel worthless, like he's dumb, that he'll always get shit. Ox is smart enough at twelve, when the letters from the bank come to call Gordo and ask for help. he learns about cars and later a new computer system. When he studies for the test he passes. he learns everything (he can) about pack.

he may not pick up on social cues sometimes, especially with jessie. but he's not dumb.

[sunflowers-and-sweetviolets]

i've managed to distact my dog so here are some photos of my husband back in the 90's <3

[thepunkranger]

Resident Evil Characters - A Summary

Note: This is entirely my own opinion and said with a heavy dose of humor

Please enjoy

Chris Redfield

OG

Started as a twunk

Became an angry gorilla man???

Alpha Male™️

Punches boulders

Wants you to marry his sister

Smoker

Hide yo kids, hide yo wife

Rude to wait staff

2/10 - Just a guy. Hit him with your car

-

Jill Valentine

Other OG

Arguably better main of RE1

Master of Unlocking

Bisexual Bob™️

Butch

Supercop

Once got mind-controlled into going blonde

Rocket Launcher babe

PTSD

Big Strap Energy

Giant anime gun

10/10

-

Albert Wesker

OG Baddy

Sunglasses

Thinks he’s cool

A little too into Chris

“What are we going to do this game, Albert?”

“What we do every game, Alex: try to take over the world”

Matrix jacket

Maybe a vampire?

Looks like my uncle (derogatory)

4/10

-

Barry Burton

Bear

A+ line delivery

Just happy to be a part of things

Wishes his daughter would talk to him

Comes through in a pinch

Got lost on his way to The Last of Us

Father figure

Not dead out of sheer dumb luck

8/10

-

Rebecca Chambers

Baby butch

Sees the best in everyone

Autism be damned, my girl can work a shotgun

Sporty

Mommy Domme/Babygirl switch vibes

Sweet coffee addict

Doing fine, thanks for asking

Awkward thumbs up

9/10

-

Billy Coen

Bad Boy™️

Never bothered to take off his handcuffs

Tattoos

Mullet???

Moral standards

Strong silent type

Whole situation could’ve been avoided by just talking about his issues but no

Queen fan

7/10

-

Leon S. Kennedy

If a golden retriever became a human and then got kicked every day of its life

Having a really bad first day

Into dominant women

Dumb 90s haircut

Uses comedy as a coping mechanism

Hair grows in direct correlation to his level of angst

“Hey demons, it’s me, ya boi”

Sexy

Dog lover

Certified Good Boy™️

Fucked up a perfectly good rookie is what you did. Look at it, it’s got depression

15/10

-

Claire Redfield

College student stuck in the zombie apocalypse

Soft butch

Humanitarian

Forced her brother to teach her how to knife fight

Really into motorcycles

Leather jacket

Rocket Launcher babe #2

Always has at least one adopted child with her

10/10 would ask to babysit

-

Ada Wong

Mommy. Sorry. Mommy- sorry. Mommy-

Grappling hook

Badass spy

Emotionally distant

Soft spot for cute cuddly things (Leon)

Femme fatale

Book lover

Chaotic neutral

Crossbow 😍

Could step on me and I’d say thank you

Rocket launcher babe #3

10/10

-

Sherry Birkin

Goosebumps protagonist

Worst parents ever tbh

Surprisingly good under pressure

Please someone get this girl some therapy

Supergirl

Smartest person here

One hell of a shot

The trauma is immeasurable

Somehow still doing fine

Loves her weird adopted family

8/10

-

Carlos Oliviera

Himbo

First POC main?

Went from three polygons and a white boy haircut in the original to actual gorgeous South American hunk in the remake

Lost his accent along the way for some reason

#1 Jill simp

If Dug from Up was a guy

Only trustworthy person in the whole series

Just wants to help

Gorgeous gorgeous hair

Loves strong women

Hakuna matata

Touch-starved

10/10 would peg

-

Steve Burnside

Twink

Who is this sassy lost child?

Hot Topic employee

Into Claire (she’s too old for you bud)

Choker

Thinks he’s edgy

Whiny

Daddy issues

1/10

-

Luis Serra Navaro

If Puss in Boots was a human

The Most Extra™️

Luscious flowing locks

Definitely into bondage

Used to work for Umbrella

Trying to make up for it

Don Quixote references

Bisexual

Good with his hands

Praying for a threesome with Leon and Ada

10/10

-

Ashley Graham

Basic white girl

Always getting kidnapped

Master of Unlocking #2

Razor flip phone

Ada Wong bisexual awakening (same)

Good with a wrecking ball

Makes Leon catch her every time she has to jump a ledge (also same)

Would like to go to Hot Topic, please

7/10

-

Sheva Alomar

Player 2

Second POC main

Bad AI

Too good for her game

Willing to go on a suicide mission with a guy she just met

Left handed

Deserves a better stylist

Only good part of RE5

Literally my girl got done so dirty just give her another chance please

10/5

-

Moira Burton

“It’s not a phase, dad!”

Probably gay

Weak arms

Skillz

Box dyed her hair at least once

Simple Plan playing in the background

Childhood trauma

7/10

-

Piers Nivans

Trying his best

Appreciates a good steak

Sick of Chris’ bullshit

Good with a rifle

Just a good man

German Shepherd boy

Self-sacrificing

8/10

-

Jake Muller

Wesker’s son

Daddy issues

Who invited Ronan Lynch here?

Quips for days

Bad boy

Loves the type of woman who can kick his ass

The Most Edgy™️

9/10

-

Ethan Winters

Husband of the year

Trusting

Surprisingly chill

The most basic white man in all of RE

Hands? What hands?

Functionally a lizard

Would still love you if you were a worm

Just casually knows how to craft bullets

Moldy

8/10

-

Mia Winters

Toxic girlfriend energy

Literally possessed

Dark sense of humor

Gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss

Casually working for a bioterrorism organization

Does actually care about her family

Definitely doesn’t have a penicillin allergy

If you can’t be the girl of his dreams, you can at least be the feral swamp witch of his nightmares

2/10

-

Zoe Baker

Lesbian

Mold intolerance

Southern accent thicker than grandma’s gravy

Picked last on the playground

Somehow okay despite her brother being Like That

Joe’s favorite

Science skills

8/10

-

Lucas Baker

Jigsaw

Didn’t even need the mold

Probably got at least one true crime documentary made about him

Working for Mia’s bioterrorism organization

Left his classmate rotting in the attic

Just the worst

0/10

-

Alcina Dimetrescu

Mommy

Please step on me

Elizabeth Bathory vibes

Just fucking huge

Can turn into a dragon

Lesbian

9/10

-

Karl Heisenberg

Grimy

Tumblr Sexyman

When robotics majors get weird

Fights with his siblings

Doesn’t actually care at all about Miranda

In cahoots with the lycans

7/10

-

Rosemary Winters

Mommy and Daddy issues

YA protagonist

Badass

Childhood trauma

Into the Mold-verse

Alternate universe Sherry Birkin

8/10

[torchstelechos]

just saw you saying you want to talk about The Characters (isat) what are some thoughts you got bip bap boppin around in the noggin about the Them

Ooooooooohhhh Anon,,,, Ooooooh, You have unlocked deep thoughts and long monologues.... have this piece of bullshit that I spat out in excitement

Isabeau: 

Ah yes, dear Isabeau, my most beloathed <3 (self recognition in other /derogatory). He’s one of the characters I’ve written the most meta for that's actually about his character in the game. I love him and hate him in equal measures but that's not what I want to talk about today! I want to discuss his morbid humor and fascination, I suppose. Also his rather interesting character type and how that's displayed in the game, specifically through his morbid thoughts and discussion choices. 

In the game we see plenty of times that Isabeau uses morbid word choices (killed them so that I could live friendquest quote) and brings up morbid discussion topics (what do we do if you die? What do we do if Bonnie dies?) that the others find disquieting. He also laughs at Siffrin’s time traveler joke, finds scary Siffrin attractive, and finds being paid attention too enough that they can harm you attractive. This brings me to my main point, which is that Isabeau is the cold scientist archetype character that tries to be the himbo fighter character. Of course we know that hes trying to hide himself behind the himbo character type, but the fact that he's analytic to a fault, morbid in almost every way, finds scary things attractive, and calls Changing killing his past self… this man is very much a scientist that was about to turn evil but decided friendship was the answer whose character was subverted into himbo fighter because those who are dumb are more liked than those who know things. It's interesting, and I think it’s one of the reasons I despise Isabeau POV fanfics. Most fanfics feel almost like his facade is him, and thats just not true and it bugs me so very much to read fanfics with his POV now. But! This isnt to say those fanfics aren’t well done! They are, I just find them lacking in canon Isabeau’s almost neutral analytical personality that was then filtered through therapy and self help books esque vibe. Fascinating character, hate him dearly for it though. 

Misc thoughts: 

I generally have a hard time nailing down everything I feel about him for a variety of reasons but I do want to say that I think he finds Siffrin’s big melt down appearance attractive after the whole thing blows over. I also think he doesn't have the best track record for what is okay to say or not? So he falls back on “I am dumb therefore I can say things that others find disturbing and frame it as something I just don't understand or misunderstood :)” which kind of backfires on him constantly because now no one really takes him seriously? I don’t know, I just find most smart characters have a hard time figuring out the social situation of certain things so they tend to either not care at all for tact or overthink everything and over compensate by not allowing themself to go for certain things. In this instance its him not being able to confess because he thinks he's bad for liking someone in a certain way and doesn't want to pressure them which backfires because he's otherwise a good communicator but failed hard with Siffrin. Speaking of, I don’t think hes ever gotten with anyone other than Siffrin. It took the world literally almost ending and a time looping induced trauma attack for him to confess he liked Siffrin, this man does NOT have game. So, lol, that kiss? Probably his first <3, RIP my man did not deserve that

Odile:

Strangely enough I don’t believe I have ever written a meta post for Odile? Or anything about her other than tags? So yeah, let's focus on her. She's a very honesty based character in a game literally about someone not being able to speak the truth, which is why I appreciate the sus route so much. She noticed something was wrong and went for it, leading her down rabbit holes best left untouched. Odile is a character that I truly think would have accidentally unleashed an eldritch horror on the quest if not for Isabeau stopping her. Mainly because she is smart but not academic smart, she's learned from her travels plenty of things that lend to real life experience but she's not much of an academic when it comes to how to get answers she wants (taking until the very last town to get a familytale while Siffrin took maybe three loops to do is. Certainly something!). Its fascinating, because if I were to actually describe her personality and how that lends to a character archetype I would say that she's a brawler character. Effectively, she and Isabeau are reflections of each other in a very specific way and I think about this often in her relation to the group. Its almost laughable how shes been put into this responsibility role of the group while Isabeau is off goofing around (and secretly plotting how to best respect his friends remains), shes not very good at knowing what is the best course of action and acts out in impulsive ways that harms others (Looking at you, hitting Trauma Big Siffrin moment) and that doesn’t… make her a good leader per say? I just find it funny, how others write her as someone who would go out of her way to research Siffrin’s home country and succeed when she barely succeeded in her own knowledge hunt. If anything, it would be Isabeau who would find the information and inform Odile rather than the other way round. I dunno, I just don’t think anyone is really considering the fact that she probably hasn’t set foot into a higher academic institution just based on her research skills. 

Misc thoughts: 

I’ve only seen one fanfic acknowledge the fact that Odile hit Siffrin? And did so in such a way that it hurt badly. I wouldn’t be surprised if it left a scar (which that little freak probably adores because he knows that it means he wont forget Odile ever again), alongside the others they gave themself. Speaking of said hurting, I don’t think it's really acknowledged how much Odile puts down Siffrin? Yes it's usually just a teasing moment here or there, but have yall thought of the fact that she compared Siffrin to an animal and has hit him? I think about this so much. I think about it when I'm trying to fall asleep sometimes. She did that to him, and he *remembers it,* he acknowledges it during act 5, he has that ingrained into his *soul.* I think people should write about it more, or at least acknowledge that Siffrin probably… doesn’t want to talk to Odile about feelings or be touched by her for a while? Honestly, if I was Siffrin’s position during the failed friendquest moments? I would have said worse. I would have done worse. Because can you imagine? Imagine with me, you just remembered that your country is gone, everyone you love either doesnt remember you or is dead, the only person who could possibly tell you anything is the man you must kill, and your family member is talking about how hard it is to be in the country her mother is from and not feel a connection to it. That you are both more than your heritage. I would start biting, kicking, fighting, hell I would probably find out what she looks like without her bun! I would be pissed. But yaknow, Siffrin is a nice fella and kind of only waited to go off the deep end when they were sure they wouldn’t be able to escape. Anyway, I think of Odile sometimes and get violently ill by the knowledge she no longer holds that would explain some of Siffrin’s reactions and word choices to her cause no matter what? She can’t take it back. She never even said it. It’s not even real anymore. God I love this game, it makes me feel sick.

Mirabelle: 

Big ol’ sigh, yeah the-bitter-ocean if your out there I think about your tags on my Mira post a lot. The fandom doesn’t really get her do they? Most of the time I see people write her off as not very understanding or oblivious to other people’s feelings, which fair for romance (she didnt notice the very glowing sign of what I believe to be a ginger blushing but yaknow I understand as aro) but shes very good at knowing when someone isn’t feeling well? She has several unique dialogue options after Siffrin gets up from the field after looping which Odile does not have (despite EVERYONE ACKNOWLEDGING THEY’RE NOT OKAY), and asks after their wellbeing despite being in a constant anxiety attack and morality stress issues induced panic attack in the house. The only real big character flaw is a very typical shonen main character flaw which is that she is too trusting to a degree that it let Siffrin get away with almost destroying the world, Bonnie dying, and the others stepping all over her own feelings (not that any of these are her fault, but she did contribute to the lack of communication which lead to the loops. I love her, I do, but EVERYONE had a hand in Siffrin getting stuck in the loops). Her trust is also what led to the big fallout and slap she gives Siffrin during act 5, she was already giving her heart to him and the others and was constantly checking in during the adventure to make sure everyone was happy and okay with what was happening so the sudden switch from her POV is a huge betrayal of her trust in them. This is basically someone you were already on edge about hating you suddenly deciding that yes, they do hate you and everything you stand for because *they know.* No matter what you think about the situation, Mirabelle’s trust (her biggest character flaw) was thrown back into her face after she thought they were okay with her (not even a few weeks ago they said that this was the happiest they have ever been and she *remembers this fully and utterly*) and broke her heart with all her insecurities. It’s a very hopeless situation when you don’t have context, which means I don’t really blame her for slapping Siffrin, I just wish that it didn’t happen because as a Player I know the full context. Betrayal of trust… its a funny thing in this game, because it wasn’t a betrayal specifically from one POV but from the other it was. Fascinating! I despise it, I love it, it makes me sick. 

Misc Thoughts: 

Oooooh Mira we are in it now, This endgame of yours has left you with insecurities and trauma you didn’t think possible. I love her, I do, which is why I also have a great idea for a fanfic that involves her getting some VERY bad coping mechanisms <3 teehee. Careful what you wish for darling! Things go bad if you don’t take care of what you love. Anyway, I don’t think it’s weird to have Mira in outfits that are contrasting too heavily from her personality in the game? I dont know how to say this, but I think it’s a tad strange that I’ve seen roleswap aus/personality swap aus where Mirabelle is different via aesthetic? Because thats her whole religion? Sure she doesnt want to change but I don’t think she minds much clothing or aesthetic wise? In fact i think she considers that the safest option? So I dunno, I think people should dress her in goth and emo outfits more. Also I do think its a tad silly people don’t focus too much on her journey trauma and rather focus on her romance trauma, yall know that was just a distraction and not her main issues, right? Like yall know this game isnt romance the simulator, right???? RIGHT???? God Mira, you would hate that the fandom boils you down to your AceAroness, I just fucking know it. 

Bonnie: 

Who let this sassy small child into this story???? God, dearest Bonnie, the literal best party member Imo. I love them dearly, they are one of the meanest fucking assholes in the game I adore them. Yall think about the longstanding issues Siffrin has with touch and reaching out and how the rotten adults route fucking annihilates them into smithereens lol. I think about the fact that Bonnie has harmed Siffrin soooo much in the loops, it leaves me breathless because this small child has killed Siffrin twice, slapped their hands away when they tried to help them (for the first time in Bonnies POV!! Thats huge!!), and yelled at them multiple times about how awful they are. I do wonder what would have happened if the rotten adults route continued without looping? Who would have spoken up and who would have had to realize that something is WRONG with Siffrin in that moment? Would Bonnie backpedal when they realize? What was Siffrin’s facial expression right then? What happened? I just. God. Fuck. No one talks about this AT ALL in the fandom and it drives me insane. Despite everything, despite what was erased, what was unmade, the effects stayed and will continue to harm Siffrin. Do yall think about the idea that Siffrin probably doesnt reach out until Bonnie does post loops? I think about this so much, Bonnie has harmed Siffrin so many times it would kill them if they ever found out, and I desperately need them to find out. I also kind of,, just assumed that Bonnie would be keeping a keen eye on Siffrin’s eating and remind them to eat and drink water (even if I dont think Siffrin needs that) after the loops because its an easy way to help and have some control over situations? I dunno, I think Bonnie is a very complicated kid who has harmed and been harmed and no one will ever know just how much has been done and undone. 

Misc Thoughts: 

I still think Bonnie should be able to make and throw bombs post bomb memory. I just NEED Bonnie to throw a molotov at the King, fuck, it would be so funny. Also as a side note, I do think growing up Bonnie has to deal with a lot of untreated Trauma and probably reacts very similar to Siffrin before someone comments on the fact that they are just like him and suddenly they start going to a therapist about it, I do not think they would take it as a compliment for even one instance. They would get sick so fast and go, me and them? Similar? No. I have to go to get a doctor. I cannot be a Frin Jr. the world could not handle it. And suddenly they have the second best mental health of the group (first goes to Isabeau because Isabeau was already in therapy before the game, I just fucking know it <3) which makes everyone fucking jealous as hell because seriously? The Kid??? Damnit. But yeah I do think the fastest way anyone could get Bonnie to accept help is to compare them to Siffrin because they do have a Recognition of Self in the Other (derogatory) thing going on with Siffrin in the game, which is probably worse by the fact that they grew up with him as a role model. Everyone that knows them is like, oh my change your so lucky! The saviors are your family that must be so cool <3, and Bonnie is like. They make me to go to bed on time and force me to eat veggies what the fuck are you saying. Anyway yeah I love Bonnie so much, the meanest fucking kid in the game <3. 

Siffrin: 

Aaauuuggghhhhh, the one everyone is waiting for, the Siff of the Frin. Love this fucking idiot, but yeah lets talk touch and how the family has hurt them over the loops <3. Okay so straight out the gate, Bad touch! Isabeau pushing them away after they kiss him, which is very understandable because yaknow Isabeau could tell that was a desperation kiss and is not okay for either of them but! Holy shit! Siffrin, my dear friend that was probably the worst thing you could have done, but yeah that did leave its marks deeply in them so I will mark that down as harmed. Then we get the bad friendquests, which yeah Isabeau hitting them with the “I thought you were also trying” hurts more than I can physically say, but we’ll mark that down as two. Then Odile hits them, grabs their collar, sus quest bullshit, and general disdain for Siffrin lying about the stars we’ll mark down as four more which leads to six. Mirabelle slapping Siffrin and letting him get away with lying about his health we’ll put at 8. Bonnie pushing him into a tear, pineapple, slapping hands away, and yelling at them multiple times we’ll put at 12. Then there's the “like taming a wild animal” teasing which Ill put at 13, all of which is just off the top of my brain and I know there's more moments that hurt Siffrin deeply. Yaknow, looking at this, typing this, it seems a tad silly but. How else could I describe the never ending pain at knowing that most of these wont be acknowledged as bad for Siffrin as it was bad for the others? I dunno, I think about Siffrin giving everything up for the party and no one knowing exactly what they did because how could they? It’s gone. It’s not real anymore, not until Siffrin says it. I just. I dont know where I’m going with this but Siffrin as a character hurts me deeply, and I think it’s because no matter what happens Siffrin refuses to acknowledge when the others hurt him back. Just. Keeping the cycle going because they dont know how to break it, and they never have until they break first. I just think of this a lot. Him being stuck, in circles over and over. 

Misc Thoughts: 

I wanna chew him up and spit him out like a dog toy. No further comments (see my blog for further comments). ((I need to see a Self inflicted Achromatic animatic, pls, fuck plsssss))

LOOP: 

Loop time!! Loop time! I am physically ill because of this beast. You all know that one fanart where it says “You Won!” and Loop is dry heaving? Thats me at literally any moment when I think about Loop. 

I am a little shy to admit though that I didn’t catch their facade at first, mainly because I’m not very good at catching things like that at first? If a person acts a certain way, thats how they act! So Yeah, ya boy was confused by two hats lol. But afterwards I did do a bit of thinking and as I mentioned in a previous post i do think Loop is pretending/acting like how they remembered Siffrin acted like before the loops. Mira mentions that Siffrin is mean in teasing, enough so that it might have hurt if she didnt know that it was friendly teasing. Isabeau has a great monologue about his feelings on Siffrin before the loops, and Siffrin themself acknowledges some of their less than savory traits before the loops during the loops as well. This is to say, Loop is a fucking prick that tries to be floating and teasing in their comments while hitting where it hurts in just the right way that they can pretend that they mean something else. I genuinely think thats how Loop remembers themself before they were Loop, even if they got some things VERY WRONG. Of course, by the time they realize this it’s too late and that’s their personality now, which is kind of fucked up when you realize how much of their personality is them acting out a half remembered person who died many many many loops ago. But alas, such is the way of Loop. 

Also if we think about Loop in comparison to Siffrin. Well. We get an interesting picture. But the thought makes me too ill to continue. But I will say loving someone so much you destroy yourself for them… I don't think anyone in the family would be happy about that really. Theres a difference between destroying yourself and destroying the world… I wonder why that is for them, what made the difference between self and the world. A fool, and the world. Hmm. Interesting. Anyway, Loop’s facade gets me everytime and I want to use them as a stuffed animal. 

Misc Thoughts: 

Yeah that STAR CAN NOT EAT OR DRINK, lol get rekted they cant even fucking get drunk. Now for some HCs, I do think that Loop would wear a promise ring, even if no one in this Vaugarde understands what that means. I just. Think that Loop wouldn’t be able to let go of Their Fighter. Hahaha! I don’t really wanna go further into detail about this rn but I AM THINKING… Loop is one of the saddest characters I have ever fucking had the audacity to love. No I will not take comments on this further lol. (Me loving Loop and Siffrin while disliking Isabeau? Call me an Isabeau Kinnie at the rate lol)

[universe-of-peoples]

Half-baked CHB OC’s that expand on each cabin and (sometimes) break cabin stereotypes:

Son of Aphrodite who’s an absolute himbo, nicest guy ever, loves everyone. Uses charmspeak to hype up his friends and encourage people before battle. Bow from she-ra energy.

Alternatively, son of Aphrodite who is ripped and attractive, captain of the football team jock type, but who uses his charmspeak to make people hang on to his every word and do whatever he wants. Future politician (derogatory) vibes.

Child of Hermes who inherits the “god of travelers” aspect of their father’s domain instead of the “god of tricksters” aspect. Excellent internal GPS and navigational abilities. Favorite foods include trail mix.

Daughter of Hephaestus that struggles with balancing her femininity with her cabin. She’s just as crafty as the rest of them, and she’s head of her school’s robotics club, but to her siblings and the robotics kids, she’s too feminine, and to general patriarchal society, she’s not feminine enough. Bonus: she designs a purse for herself that’s bigger on the inside.

Child of Poseidon who isn’t into the ocean and water at all. Instead becomes a meteorologist (“stormbringer��) or a horse farmer (“father of horses”) or a seismologist (“earth-shaker”). Poseidon is proud of course but is also confused.

Child of Zeus who is just really, really enthusiastic about birdwatching. Hey, they’re part of Zeus’s domain, right?

Child of Apollo who is terrible at reading and memorizing music but is great at musical improvisation. Not necessarily breaking stereotypes for Apollo kids, just annoying when they want to learn a piece of music but can’t for the life of them figure out how. They’d be great in a jazz band though.

Kid from an entirely different pantheon of gods. Chiron knows of course but he has no contacts with people from that pantheon currently, so until he finds someone, the kid is safe in the Hermes Cabin. Only Chiron and Mr. D know.

[patheticblorbloscholar]

Avatar: The way of water- 200K, adoption slow burn. Hurt/very little comfort. Jake is an unreliable narrater.

[infiniteetcetera]

MORE RAPID FIRE ACTOAR HOT TAKES BUT THIS TIME THEYRE 🔥HOT🔥 TAKES

🔥Most people who claim to hate Nesta for what she did to Feyre actually just hate her personality and don’t want to admit it. If she were more like Elain or just generally more kind, open, reserved (✨demure✨ if you will) than she wouldn’t get half as much hate, people just like to hide behind the hunting excuse even when it doesn’t make sense as an expectation. even the characters do this themselves (why Rhys/Cassian/Mor have issues with Nesta but not Elain) because Nesta is strong willed and presents as “strong” on the surface there’s this expectation she should have put her life in danger and been able to hunt while Elain as viewed as “fragile” and therefore it’s not a big deal but the reality is personality does not equal hunting ability and this expectation should have been on none of them.

🔥Cassian is NOT and never has been a himbo/golden retriever guy. Like is he a little dense and theoretically attractive? sure, but one of the big components of both those archetypes is respecting women which he NEVER has. He constantly makes sexist jokes, has treated his LI terribly, and the only woman he shows real respect to is Feyre who is an extension of Rhysand in his mind. he definitely wasn’t as bad in the earlier books as recently but he has never been who his fans characterize him as.

🔥Eris has somehow become massively overhyped😭 I see so many people praise him and cheer him on over/as better than the bat boys and I don’t think they realize they have made up a character for him entirely. At best, Eris falls somewhere in the realm of Rhys in morality. He may be “faking” a lot of the bad things he’s done but he has done them (your boy was utm supporting amarantha just like Rhys & may have tried to stop Lucien from literally getting killed but that’s the bare minimum). I do think he’d have been a better/more interesting love interest for Nesta but that’s just because Cassian set the bar SO low. Most of this man’s interactions with women is calling them derogatory terms he is not perfect and has not shown himself to be above any of the other male characters in his actions.

🔥Of all the mated pairs we’ve been shown in this universe the only two who I think genuinely love/wanted each other is Feyre and Rhys. They are FAR from perfect but the mating bond feels almost inconsequential to the start of their relationship. Feyre doesn’t really know/care about it bc of her human roots and Rhys never wants it to influence her decision and admits more than once it makes him worried she feels like she has to be with him (even after they’re together). Cassian’s opposition to that when Rhys brings it up and the entire way he treats Nesta makes it obvious he just wants a mate (or more precisely, he wants what Rhys has) and Lucien obviously would not have given AF about Elain without the bond. I am not a huge fan of mating bonds in this world in general but Feysand is the only ship where it feels like it’s being done right and more just one aspect of their relationship rather than the reason behind it.

🔥The Valkyries winning the blood rite is not that weird when you spend five minutes actually thinking about it, especially with the fact the bat boys are some of the only other people to do it. Like hmmmm what do these two groups of people have in common that the other Illyrians don’t?

1) Weren’t malnourished, sleeping out in the cold, and probably rife with injuries and sickness for YEARS before the rite

2) Have actual people they can trust with them for at least most of the rite

3) Not dealing with the whole wings being bound thing?? like seriously if they’re so sensitive that’s probably incredibly painful or at least annoying. The girls don’t have to deal with this at all and for the boys Rhys probably didn’t, Az is probably used to it (sobs), so it was just a factor for Cassian

4) Were well looked after, had access to education and information on the rite beyond word of mouth in the camps

My point overall is people tend to forget the Illyrian training camps are literally building child soldiers amongst terrible conditions. You are not fighting 100% or even like 50% of the blood rite, things like being well fed, physically able, and even just having someone who can watch your back while you sleep are so important so it is not surprising at all to me the girls made it while most Illyrians don’t, especially when theyre trained to belive it’s all about going in their to kill and be violent/a warrior (and this all doesn’t even touch on the weapons thing). It’s annoying and borderline sexist so many people complain about this, like just let these girls and their friendship bracelets be winners🤧

🔥Rhys’ trauma is so massively overlooked when people talk about his character/decisions. Not only was he essentially a sex slave for fifty years but Amarantha was also constantly psychologically torturing him all the while being the woman who literally tortured him and killed his friends years prior. To top it off, before Feyre there was literally no end in sight for him??? He couldn’t even hope to die because that would mean his magic couldn’t protect Velaris and his friends??? Even once he escapes the mountain he kind of just has to…move on? ) He doesn’t get any break or trauma therapy, he’s dumped right into it all and he literally doesn’t even tell anyone what happened?? The first time he brings it up to the IC in ACOWAR they’re all stunned to hear him say the words and then he breaks down to Feyre afterwards (literally probably the only person he talks to about what happened). It’s known to everyone including his people what he’s been through and it’s weaponized against him constantly. If he weren’t making bad choices, hurting people around him, and just overall struggling to be a good leader his character wouldn’t be realistic. This isn’t an excuse for every bad thing he’s done, but it’s a reality that most people in his situation wouldn’t do any better and couldn’t even handle being in his spot in the first place. There was a Rhys that existed before this series started and it makes much more sense to believe that guy was the decent male that shines through in some of his scenes with Feyre then to belive he’s always been cruel and evil and all his moments of kindness are just a bit (the evil!Rhys theories will never not be laughable to me, this man bawls in the crowded streets of his city just bc he loves his wife so much, he ain’t plotting evil in his spare time)

🔥The ship wars surrounding next book have gotten so over dramatic😭 most of these couples have barely even interacted on page. I get having preferences and seeing a vision for a pair, I do it too, but people fighting tooth and nail against these ships and swearing they won’t read next book if it’s not what they want are doing the most. Especially when these characters/ships actually…arent that different?? There’s so many similarities between Azriel/Lucien and even Gwyn/Elain, and the only character we know anything about thought/motivation wise is Azriel and even that is barely. I could see any of the pairings working perfectly well or also being written terribly, I think we should all care more about how next love story is written rather than who it’s with because the romance in the last few SJM books have been majorly slacking (Quinlar and Nessian are two of my least favorite ships she’s ever written like she must do better) and no matter who ends up together we probably will see some of the these ships (Elriel/Elucien at least) in a romantic sense before any sort of endgame is decided

[brotpqueen]

Okay listen I’m working on the next chapter but Gabriel is a bitch to write for. I am neither a man nor an overconfident little bastard (though that last one is debatable) so I don’t relate to him as much as the others which makes writing more complicated. This bitch is tiring. Also as y’all know I have no idea how to write romantic tension, especially not of the enemies-to-lovers variety. Here’s some incorrect quotes while you guys wait (with some lore drops about the AU if you look hard enough). Thanks for being so patient, gang.

Hairdresser: How would you like your hair cut? Beelzebub: Preferably with scissors, but a sword could be badass.

(if you read chapter one you already know my Beez makes terrible decisions about their hair.)

Anathema: I'm at a loss for words! Newt: Despite being ‘at a loss for words’, Anathema yelled at me for the next 45 minutes.

(Newt is the incompetent one in the group but he’s so sweet they keep him around anyway)

Gabriel: There. How do I look? Shax: Like a cheap French harlot. Gabriel: French?!

(Former Cyberbully VS Also Former Cyberbully. At least Shax is creative with it.)

Aziraphale: Crowley, can you help me? All of my clothes keep disappearing for some reason. Crowley, wearing a hoodie that's 5 times bigger than their size: Spooky.

(…Obviously.)

Aziraphale: What the fuck is wrong with you?? Beelzebub: What? No good morning? Aziraphale: Good morning, what the fuck is wrong with you??

(This is literally all of their conversations up until they were like fourteen and Aziraphale gave up on being a good influence and joined in the batshit)

Shax: You're smiling. What happened? Crowley: What? Can't I smile just because I feel like it? Aziraphale: Gabriel tripped and fell down the stairs today.

(They’re the worst brothers ever <3)

Beelzebub: When I was your age- Aziraphale, mocking Beelzebub: When I was your height. Beelzebub: Beelzebub: Listen here you little shit-

(Beez is completely ignoring that Aziraphale is literally like a month older than them)

Hastur: I wouldn’t put it in those words exactly. Newt: Why not? Hastur: Because I don't know what they mean.

(Hastur is a himbo. In this context both affectionate and derogatory. Love ya, ya dumbass.)

The Squad is gathered in the living room for a meeting Maggie: walks in and sits on Nina’s lap The Squad: … Newt: Why are you sitting there? Maggie: There’s no free seats! Newt: But we made sure there was enough room for- Nina: hugs Maggie tightly There are no free seats.

(Nina and Maggie are just here to cuddle and see shit go down tbh.)

Aziraphale: I honestly feel like some of our conversations here are almost word-for-word accurate to the generator. Anathema: Yup. Beelzebub: Maybe the generator is watching us. Aziraphale: Wouldn't that imply this conversation will be added? Aziraphale: … Aziraphale: Wait—

(Never let the smart ones™️ near alcohol they’re existential little fucks already we don’t need a philosophical debate at the campfire)

Shax: Some of us are still ‘it’ from a childhood game of tag. Uriel: Way to just fuck me up on a Tuesday.

(Shax is studying psychology at college/uni SOLELY so she can use it to fuck with people.)

Crowley: We need a plan to beat them. Aziraphale: Okay, listen up. First, we fill their shoes with wet cat food. Crowley: Aziraphale: Judge me all you want, I get results.

(And people say Bee is a bad influence. Really! He’s much better at being a devious little shit now, so I’d call that a good influence!)

One of the campers: running towards Beelzebub with open arms Beelzebub: moves out of the way One of the campers: Hey, why'd you move?! Beelzebub: I thought you were going to attack me. One of the campers: I was going to hug you! Beelzebub: Why would you hug me? One of the campers: WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU!?

(They have issues okay. Stay tuned for that shit show!)

Shax: I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.

(She’s the worst I love her.)

Beelzebub: It’s too early in the morning for this. sent at 11:57 AM

(Aziraphale at many points throughout the years since they chose their name: your name is Beelzebub not Belphegor. Get up and go eat.)

Crowley: Fuck capitalism. It's a rigged system that keeps us poor and it isn't fair. You shouldn't need to work three jobs to afford basic necessities. Crowley, playing Monopoly: Sorry, if you wanted to win you should have tried not being poor.

(He looses all morals when it comes to board games. Also shut up Crowley your mother is like as rich as God…almost literally.)

Hastur: Hey, Aziraphale you're smart, tell me what would happen if I chugged 3 gallons of chloroform. Aziraphale: Have you ever been to a mortuary? Hastur: Yea, my grandma lives there. Uriel: That is the worst response to that question.

Aziraphale: I literally cannot believe I let you talk me into this. Beelzebub: I literally said “I have an idea,” and you just went along with it without question.

(This is just their entire dynamic in this fic. Literally. This is how they end up in so many situations™️)

Beelzebub, to Nina: You know, Gabriel can be really aggressive, so it's important to take all the necessary precautions when approaching. Beelzebub: blows airhorn at Gabriel GET FUCKED!

(They’re still in the enemies stage of enemies-to-lovers…Also Crowley approves this method.)

Beelzebub: I've met a lot of pricks in my time, but you, Gabriel, are a fucking cactus.

(Wait why is that just something I would have them say.)

Uriel: We need to distract these guys. Shax: Leave it to me. Shax: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss. The smart ones™️: immediately begin arguing

(More psych student Shax knowing her friends eerily well! She’s a nightmare!)

Gabriel: What have I done wrong?! Crowley: Everything. For your entire life.

(They are in SEVERE need of character development…shame no one around here is doing that. *whistles totally inconspicuously, definitely not ignoring the WIP that’s open in my notes right now*)

Maggie: Which country has the most birds? Maggie: Portu-geese! Uriel: That's a language. Maggie: Portu-gull? Uriel: Good recovery. Newt: I think you mean good re-dovery. Anathema: TURKEY. HOW DID WE MISS TURKEY?

(This is what’s happening while the MCs are off doing MC shit)

Crowley: We’re going to have to split up, like in Scooby Doo. Crowley, to Newt and Hastur: You guys are Scooby and Shaggy. You can search the bathrooms. Crowley, to Aziraphale: Velma, you get the spooky looking fridge in the basement. Aziraphale: What? Why am I Velma? And why do I get the… dubious looking device? Crowley: Because only Velma would say “dubious device”. Aziraphale gets the spooky fridge in the basement. Gabriel: And what does that make you, Fred? Crowley: Bitch, I’m Daphne.

(The real reason Crowley and Gabriel hate eachother so much is that there’s only room for one dramatic little bitch in their family and they both think it should be them.)

Maggie: I'm not superstitious… But I am a little stitious.

(My underrated queen!)

Hastur: I know where you live. Uriel: Where? Hastur: In a house.

(Uriel spends half of their time at camp facepalming. This is what they get for being normal in a sea of weirdos.)

Okay that’s it for now see y’all soon hopefully with the next chapter!

[franciskirkland]

I had to ramble because Antonio is indeed a hard character to write. He's both awful and amazing

PLEASE RAMBLE are u kidding me. rambling is never not welcome this is rambling central. i am nothing if not the village idiot here to rant and rave, if anything u should apologize for enabling me xx <3

this little fucker needs to be trapped in a jar and studied under a microscope... i need to Understand him... he compells me against my own will... he's like a bull who's been castrated.

as a nation-being-person, he's oddly youthful even in comparison to younger nations. he's old as dirt, older than france actually, and still not as mature which is not setting the bar high. he's passive-aggressive and vengeful, but also extremely influential in a positive way? like western society without spanish culture would be so dull.

he's someone who was once immensely powerful but rly isn't anymore and has become, for lack of better words, irrelevant? never to me, but i have literally met grown adults who did not know spain was a country (let alone portugal) i wish i was kidding rn. as a History Enjoyer i can't ignore the fact that spain has a dark past, responsible for everything from colonial imperialism in the 15th century onwards, to brutal fascist reign throughout the 20th century. like tbh, he was once on par with england for being the Worst re: colonization, genocide, exploitation etc. in my honest opinion - while france as an imperial power did some awful shit particularly in africa - england, spain, portugal and the netherlands are by far the worst.

buuut with that all being said. i mostly write human au and i do tend to keep irl tragedies at a distance, while their personalities are still influenced by historical events, at some level ig.

as a human, he's just as complex. he's a fuckboy. he's a himbo. he's a loser (affectionate) and sometimes a loser (derogatory). he's Catholic and debilitatingly homosexual. he's passionate. he is... devastatingly sexy. he is kinda wifey, ngl. he's also kinda socially incompetent but gets away with it bc of his looks. perfect smile... sexy accent... fat ass... grrr i am squeezing him like a stress ball... i have written him as everything from a total manipulative creep to a bumbling fool who just wants his papi. like look at him... if he told me he was just a caked up white boy who never did anything wrong i would believe him... and im italian so he would bear my children.

you can pry my canon divergent spamano from my cold dead hands. pelt me with rotten tomatoes in the town square i dont care.

the bottom line is, spain has no business being this cute, but some way, somehow, he is, so imma go with it ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

[most-canon-non-canon-ship-poll]

I’m pretty sure I sent in like, an essay on why I hate DickBabs?

oh shit i must've not seen it. here we are:

Believe it or not, I actually used to like this ship!!! Their first go around at a relationship was fine! Not amazing and it had issues but it had its cute moments! But there was the retconning. Oh, was there retconning. They had to age Barbara down just to make the relationship even possible, since she was in Congress when Dick was still a teenager. And then it got worse. Suddenly Barbara was Dick’s first crush/love. Suddenly all of his other relationships were explicitly inferior and his awesome longterm ex is being villified and shit talked and dismissed as a fling in-text. They broke up and stayed broken up for over a decade. Then suddenly Barbara had use of her legs back and was out of her wheelchair, and it was like every character spent a few years going “oh those two belong together!!” Without any of the stories ever demonstrating WHY. Then they suddenly got back together (after having Dick break up with yet another cool love interest!!!!) and immediately became characters I did not and do not recognize. Babs became a girlboss (derogatory) and Dick became a himbo (derogatory) and I hate it so so so so much it makes me so angry I can’t even keep talking about this I need to go before I explode

i also added it to the poll!

[rawliverandgoronspice]

What's your ranking for favorite iterations of zelda characters??

thanks for the ask!! much appreciated <3

hmmm... if we're talking proper list, I think it would go like this:

Link

Ocarina of Time/Majora's Mask/TP (he's just very. he went through a lot ok ;;)

Hero of the Wind, so WW/PH (love how expressive and aggressively brave he is at all times)

Twilight Princess (I don't know I just really like this grassroot countryboy who cares deeply for his folks, I love his quiet and purposeful Strongman Stance, and Midna allows him to shine a lot by being the voice to his silent disapproval, very fun dynamic these two share)

Hero of the Wild, BotW/TotK (he's a gremlin of improvisation and raw brute nerve, which is honestly very funny, and I kind of like the very rare glimpses of characterization we get through the other characters)

Skyward Sword Link (he's just. I know we throw himbo around a lot, but, genuinely, he looks so. content, all of the time)

Spirit Tracks Link (I haven't played the game unfortunately, but I always like Toon Link's expressiveness)

Minish Cap Link (I'm biased I played this game a lot when I was a child)

Link's Awakening Link (I know it's the same Link as another one but I can't remember which --anyway what a trip bro)

A Link to the Past Link (love the tuft of pink whatever in his hair)

A Link Between Worlds Link (I don't dislike him he just doesn't really have a ton of character from what I remember)

CDI Link (do I need to say more)

Oracles Link (I never finished these games u_u)

Other Links I have not played as (so Four Sword and FSA, and Zelda 1 and 2 --I have played Zelda 1 a bit, but, you know)

Cartoon Link (leave Zelda alone I'm begging you)

Zelda

OoT Zelda (she's so interestinggggggg what is WRONG with you girlboy guy plagued with nightmares and a pathologic guilty urge to make sure everything is correct and just and right)

WW/PH Tetra (she's so cool!! I wish we would get to do more adventures with her, but conceptually I think she's really great)

Spirit Tracks Zelda (she's just a fun time and we get to do stuff with her and that's amazing. love her!)

Skyward Sword Zelda (bittersweet stuff. I wish she was more of herself tbh, and less in a crystal, but she's cool)

Zelda of the Wild (if she was not thrown into the garbage bin in TotK in terms of character arc, she'd be under OoT Zelda I think)

TP Zelda (love her somber resignation and quiet resilience, and whatever is going on between her and Midna)

Minish Cap Zelda (she's just really cute)

A Link To The Past Zelda (she's... there, but the sequences she's connected to are very memorable)

(genuinely cannot remember whether she is in the Oracle Games?? it's been a hot while)

A Link Between World (for everything I like about the game, it's a shame she's barely a character in it tbh)

CDI Zelda (she's a *savage*)

Cartoon Zelda (much prefer her to Link!!)

Other Zeldas I have not played and do not know that much about

Ganon(dorf)

Wind Waker Ganondorf (yeah)

Twilight Princess Ganondorf (okay I know it's pretty controversial to put him above OoT, especially since he's barely in the game and perhaps shouldn't have been, but I *cannot* resist his arthouse swagger and understated/probably-not-actually-there tragedy. If that helps, they're both on the exact same level, and they're the same guy anyway!)

OoT Ganondorf (the one and only --wish the game was less Like This re: everything gerudo, but he's just iconic and a king and we love him so much. My favorite iteration to ponder upon --I'm mostly commenting regarding in-game execution)

BotW Ganon (okay this one is even Worse in terms of placement justification, but I just. It's the fact that malice is being called "rancor" in French, and just how fundamental and "part of the natural world" his hatred became. I think it's great subtle worldbuilding and it just works for me)

TotK Ganondorf (looking fly, being as internally incoherent as humanely possible (derogatory), punching spines, and! having genuinely cool and thrilling moments and a really fun final battle in spite of The Mess)

A Link to the Past Ganon (he's just creepy and overwhelming in a really cool way, he actually made me feel pretty uneasy and powerless as a kid)

Oracle Games (now that's just fucked up, really bad morning alarm clock rang too early also my moms died for this bullshit kind of energy)

Cadence of Hyrule (I know including that game is pushing it but little guy!!!!!!! he's such a little guy!!!!!! with his little organ!!!!!!!!!!! i love he;;;;)

FSA Ganondorf (I hear he's cool but I unfortunately never played the game myself, and I should really look into it)

A Link Between World Yuganon (can you imagine trying to fight for the ultimate agency, and then failing and then being used as a vessel for other shitty wizards without any regard for who you were and what you were trying to achieve isn't that messed up kind of unfortunately talking about ganon without getting sad is an impossible feat to me)

love both CDI and Cartoon Ganon, they're great and strangely goopy in their own way and I appreciate them very much for their contributions to the Culture

I think he's there in Four Swords??? okay

Impa

Skyward Sword Impa (I like her behavior and her commitment, and her design, both old and young, is the best she's ever had imo)

Ocarina of Time Impa (she's *barely* in that game honestly. And Yet. your influence. your secrets. your buffness also not gonna lie.)

Hyrule Warriors Impa (just realized I did not put HW Ganondorf/Zelda/Link in the list, but I haven't spent enough time with them to have strong opinions honestly --but Impa being a strong general fighting the hard battles is a weak spot of mine u_u)

BotW/TotK Impa (I love grandma Impa!!! love her little roadtrip in TotK, wish it had been expanded upon and she had been more involved in the Zelda search, but. not so fun fact but I cannot stand the design of her young version in Age of Calamity --she looks so generically moe it's borderline unforgivable, what is up!! with all the nothing dollface sheikah babes!! honestly!!!)

I like all the old women Impas --but I'm kind of craving another, slightly edgier take on the character again honestly

and that's it I think!!! thanks for asking!!!

[orpheusilver]

the thing abt emmett twilight is that stephanie meyer was clearly trying to write a "dumb jock (derogatory)" but instead made a Himbo WifeGuy whose just some dude energy reflects off kristen stewarts latent butch energy in a way thats far more fun than whatever the plot is actually meant to be about. they should be two blokes who do fuck all. he literally got mauled by a bear