#his FRIENDS. he has friends now. i am being flash-frozen and roasted over a low flame simultaneously

[coquelicoq]

natsume's book of friends is the hurt/comfort show of all time. not necessarily for the characters, but for me as a viewer. it hurts me, deeply, emotionally, spiritually, and then it heals me, often in the exact same instant. not in the way where they cancel each other out, but in that way where you remain forever the person who was hurt and the person who was loved through the hurt. like okay. i am literally just Sitting Here. what the fuck. who came up with this. is that allowed

[ktheist]

finale — show me yours & i’ll show you mine

➙ muses. seokjin x college student / gamer!reader ft. best friend! taehyung

➙ genre. best friend’s brother au. university au. working au. fwb au.

➙ word. 2.1k

➙ index. 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | finale | side story 1 |

➙ synopsis. 

“show me yours and i’ll show you mine.”

x

“be nice," taehyung mouths across from you as he sits next to mina.

the red handprints on his cheeks becoming more apparent with each passing minute. it was half-believable to say taehyung fell face first in the snow, got stuck there for more than two minutes and voila, sported a red face upon your return to the kim’s.

but now, you’re just lucky no one’s pointing out the very obvious palm shaped mark on his pudgy cheeks as he stuffs his face with food.

“oh, mina, do you have any plans tomorrow? you could stay over and spend christmas morning with us," mrs kim asks as she passes the bowl of the roasted potatoes seokjin’s been boasting about.

“o-oh,” the brunette stammers, holding the fork with both hands as if citing a prayer of hope, “no, i couldn’t intrude on you any longer.”

“no such thing, we’re all family here.” mrs kim waves a dismissive hand and even that brief gesture feels warm, “___’s mother and i have known your mother since we were kids and i watch you two grow up with my boys - you’re basically  daughters i never had,” she shoots you a smile, eyes crinkling in the corners.

not seeing the remark coming, you end up almost choking on the mushroom soup you’re just in the middle of enjoying.

“i can’t say i’d love to have tae as a sibling but here we are,” you jest, half-heartedly while laughter erupts from everyone at the table.

if there’s a god, please don’t let mrs kim find out i fucked her oldest son.

“i heard yuukal co is interested in your flower arrangements and wanna buy exclusive rights to have you deliver them to the company whenever they have an event lined up?” namjoon chirps up, dimples digging into his cheek as he digs into his 

“the secretary of yuukal co was an acquaintance of mine in college, that’s probably why.” the brunette says shyly, pushing her hair to the back of her ear.

“so, you’re not planning on going back to college?” 

but it’s your voice that makes her blink once and stare at you like you’re some tricky math question.

“what- oh,” she shakes her head, as if shaking away the trance that delayed her response, “i don’t know, my major has nothing to do with what i want to do so i’m thinking of taking another year off.”

you nod casually. understandingly. “i’m sure the college has plenty of spots for people who actually wants to be there, i guess.”

it’s not a new low. but it’s a kind of low you never usually stoop to.

no one seems to notice though, as mina laughs. obviously uncomfortable by your remark, “haha yeah.”

“taehyung got offered a job at the company he interned in last year,” with a smack on the aforementioned boy’s back, seokjin proudly announces.

and just like that, taehyung takes the spotlight to himself.

“oh my god, that’s wonderful news. kim taehyung, when were you going to tell us?” mrs. kim is the first to say something, eyes brimming with anticipation as she looks at him, waiting for him to tell everyone at the table more about it.

but the fact of the matter is, kim taehyung is torn between working a nine-to-five, subsequently making his parents proud or going professional as a full time gamer.

he breathes out an ‘uh...’ before his lips curl into a forced smile.

“surprise?”

x

some time after dinner, you end up drinking and playing card games. mrs kim already went to bed and it's a hour past midnight and all four of your find yourselves in your house to not disturb the kim couples.

the grinch is playing in the background because you, taehyung and mina won against namjoon and seokjin who wanted to watch frozen.

“frozen is so unchristmasy,” taehyung complained.

though, at one point, you did backtrack a little - only a teensy bit - and sided with seokjin who looked like he just won a lottery when you casually say, “i mean frozen’s got that wintry feeling and christmas is in-”

“oh girl, not you choosing a man over your best friend,” taehyung started tickling your sides as giggles erupted from your lips while trying to beg for forgiveness.

 “okay! okay! i’m grinch team all the way!”

“is that allowed? yah! you can’t say that after converting to team frozen!” seokjin’s rebuttal sounded every bit casual.

in retrospect, him joining taehyung’s ticklish assault would have felt out of character had you not fucked behind taehyung’s back nor kissed like you were star crossed lovers just hours ago.

“two against one! not fair! seokjin- ah- hahahaha!” 

one good thing came out of it though: you ended up sitting next to seokjin. it made you a little too conscious of him - of his cologne, of his thigh that brushes against yours with every movement you make and pretend like it’s nothing and of the ghost of a touch of his pinky finger that lingers on your knee when he seemingly places a hand on his own knee. 

still, it’s the closest you could ever be in public and it’s enough to tell mina to back off.

she doesn’t seem to notice but her compliments are equally distributed to everyone in the room. she seems to be the giggly drunk. giggling at every single thing everyone say.

somewhere deep in your heart, you feel the guilt gnawing because of your uncalled for hostility.

“i better get home,” she starts to stand at 3:07 am and you wave a dismissive hand, “no, it’s so late. stay over. please. you promised to make me your special hot chocolate in the morning.”

she objects at first like she turned down mrs kim’s invitation to spend christmas morning at the kim’s. and that’s how you know your views have been blinded with jealousy to see mina for who she is - a cute, lovable girl who’d be the heroine of every romance novel there is.

“oh thank you, thank you!” her arms flail around before they wrap around you in a drunken hug.

you laugh, hugging back.

x

the memories of how you huddled together like children and fell asleep in the living room, is hazy but when you wake up - the time on your screen displaying a 6 something am - you find a blanket draped over your body.

the light from the kitchen pours over the living room but not enough to wake the slumbering bodies there.

seokjin shoots you a smile when he sees you ambling over to the dining table with hair pointing in every direction, eyes squinting trying to block out the light while holding the blanket around your shoulders.

“you’re working? jinnie, it’s christmas,” you whine, head resting on his shoulder, feeling your heartbeat skip at the small contact.

he chuckles, bumping his cheek against your head before you hear the sound the keyboard again.

you stay like that, blanket curled around your body, seokjin typing away at his laptop.

that is, until his velvet voice cuts through the silence.

“so... i reckon that red handprint on tae’s cheek isn’t because he fell face first in snow.”

“it was because i slapped him in the face,” you wave your injured hand that’s now wrapped with a panda printed band aid instead of the duck ones seokjin used in the beginning.

he takes your hand, making sure not to apply too much pressure on the injury and kisses the top of your hand, “why would you do that?”

your cheeks warm at the gesture but you clear your throat, trying to play it cool, “because he told me we looked good together after all that shit he put us through.”

silence lulls in once again.

it feels like the longest you’ve ever gone with your heart palpitating inside your chest and unspoken words hovering over you but not quite reaching the who they’re supposed to reach.

“do we?” seokjin muses.

“do we... what?” you ask despite having an inkling of what he means.

“look good.” he turns to you, one arm on the table, thumb brushing against your pinky finger.

“i don’t know- we never even took selfies together.” you shrug.

“i think our selfies would look cute,” he pauses, naturally pouty lips curling into a smile, “so cute that the guys in your dm’s would be devastated to know that you’re dating me.”

“i can’t... do this,” the words slip out of your mouth like a waterfall like it’s bound to pour out of your heart through your mouth at some point, “because taehyung was... right. i don’t have a love language - even if i did, it’d be being jealous of every girl that talks to you. lashing out at those girls even though it’s completely understandable why they’d have heart eyes when they talk to you because you’re just that amazing... and... and... you like me? why?”

seokjin’s eyes look like someone personally plucked stars from the sky and trap them in those dark brown irises.

no- actually, he’s looking at you like you’re the star and he’s the moon that shines silver white rays just to have you notice him.

“who’s to say i don’t get jealous?” he cups your face, brows furrowing like you’re a math question without a solution and he’s going mad trying to figure you out, “i get so jealous at the thought of guys sliding into your dm’s, let alone make a pass on you but then i thought ‘if she’s not looking at me then i just have to try harder to make her notice me’ and i might or might not’ve reciprocated mina’s passes to make you jealous...”

you feel the corners of your lips tugging into a smile as you smack his chest lightly, “ass.”

that earns a chuckle from the man before he goes on, “but i’m not even sure what my love language is either, last i used it, i ended up getting dumped because apparently i’m too boring.”

“you’re not boring...” red flashes in your vision as you spit out the word, offended, “your dad jokes are bad but that’s what makes them so lovable. you’re so tall but you’re a literal walking teddy bear. you have biggest, kindest heart... and you’re so hung.”

something devious and prideful flashes across his eyes for the briefest moment before he asks ever so softly, “yeah?”

“yes.” you take his hands and grip them tightly, wishing the touch would convey your feelings.

“isn’t that kind of your love language?” his thumb feels callous against your skin as he rubs circles on the back of your hand. but that’s what makes this feels real - an affirmation that you’re not dreaming, “so... show me more... show yours and i’ll show you mine.”

you’d want to say you share a deep, passionate kiss to seal your promise for each other. but when you open your eyes - not knowing when you closed it - you’re staring at the white ceiling with neon starry stickers tacked up on it. 

and seokjin?

he’s nowhere to be found.

the morning air sends shivers down your spine as you pull your blanket over your head, trying to tune out taehyung’s voice.

but the universe seems set on kicking your sleepy ass of your bed when the door swings open with a bang! 

“get up! get up! it’s christmas!” the tall boy literally screams in your ears before hoisting you over his shoulder like a sack of potato and setting you down on the toilet in the bathroom with a “you better wash your face by the time i come back!”

you do as told.

eventually.

since the presents are all set under the christmas tree at the kim’s and you’re not looking to upload a christmas morning story in mismatched pj’s, you change into a cute totoro onesie.

mr and mrs kim got mina - she thanked you for letting her stay over last night even though you woke up to an empty house, she even has different clothes on than last night - new kits for the florist.

taehyung almost hugged you to death when he unwrapped his new ps5 that he’s been dying for.

namjoon got a new pair of gucci loafers from taehyung and booked an interrogation slot with their mother because-

“kim taehyung, where did you get all this money?”

you suspect he’s going to reveal his gaming channel to her where he got sponsors from to buy namjoon those loafers.

and seokjin gifted you with a heartshaped necklace as well as a new pc set for taehyung and a signed book of namjoon’s favorite writer that he’d been talking about for ages as well as an all expense paid trip for his parents to thailand.

“thanks for the necklace,” you lightly bump seokjin’s elbow as you come to stand next to him at the sink. he’s washing the mug he used for hot coffee.

he steals a glance at his family and mina in the living room. they’re laughing over taehyung having his head down, sitting on his calves like he’s asking for the forgiveness of a lifetime after confessing that he didn’t want to work a nine-to-five and wanted to go pro.

then his eyes find yours again. the glint in them makes your heart stop before he leans down, lips brushing yours ever so gently yet very seokjin-like.

you think your heart just burst as you freeze in your spot, staring up at the man with slightly parted lips and warm cheeks like a high school girl whose crush very obviously hinted he likes her back.

he raises a quizzical brow at your reaction before realization settles on his face and his lips curve into a smirk, “what? did you think last night was all a dream?”

x

taglist.  @aretha170 @scalubera @ambersaesthetics @heyjiminnie @hyuck-me @fanfuckingfic @fangurl-ontgeside @bri-mal @waves-and-woods @rjsmochii​ @kimmieloveswho​

[finsterhund]

Sunday, last day, is very slow. Watching the table and trying not to fall asleep.

I wish I had managed to save more money but alas. Mad at the skytrain and badge fiasco. But at the very least this con has been getting ROASTED for their poor management and money hungry ways.

I still feel really bad about not supporting the one day artists. But I really had no idea they were there. They were also put in a bad spot at the faaaar end of the alley. I don't want to go over there unable to commission them. I could collect buisiness cards to commission them online later, but there's already a ton of artists like that already.

Soon. Lmao.

We close at 5 today. So it won't be as long. I'm not looking forward to the drive back lmao. I am looking forward to being able to sleep in my own bed and not someplace noisy and dark though. I also really want to finally start scanning art again. Hope my scanner wasn't broken that one time it toppled over in the night.

I had that damn two and a half day computer task running while we were away and I really hope that it finished and something stupid didn't happen again like the power going out. One fear.

After that's over I don't really have any more really CPU intensive computer things to do. Then I can just play HoD and Minecraft and not have to worry. If you guys are wondering what I'm doing I'm backing up things. I have way too many files and every once in a while I reorganize some stuff. I technically have four (six if you count ones that I assume were given to me but don't actually know) more working hard disk drives to work with, but I'll leave that until after I've sorted my electronics tote. That's my last thing I need to sort before everything with the move is completely over. My next tech project will probably be salvaging what I can from my 90s scrap computer which has been lying in pieces for like two years. I want to keep the case for it but the metal bottom part is so badly rusted and I need to try some more aggressive rust removal techniques. I thought how neat it'd be if I built my brand new computer in that 90s case but it's not in the best shape.

I've sorta become designated tech guy, responsible for disposing of everybody else's electronic waste and hey, if it means I might finally get enough laptop ram ot of it sure. My issue is I don't know how to access the ram compartment in my current temporary laptop. Otherwise I'd have fixed the abysmally low amount by now. Maybe I'll be able to build something out of everybody else's old junk lmao. I have a pile of really old dingy flash memory sticks and I'm debating just throwing the poor things away. They're unreliable now, but I still feel bad. There's no good use for unreliable flash memory. It's a liability. I wanna get a small brand new flash drive that's just for having reference images on it. I technically already have one but it's so big it seems like a waste. These things have gotten so big in the past few years. We're talking ones that are terobytes of storage. At that point why not just get a solid state? I guess price? But it's so weird to me.

Now that there's no more cons and I'm no longer living off frozen food and unable to go outside I can finally recover from the move. Both physically and financially and I finally start saving up money again for my new computer.

I also need to buy a new USB charging port card for my phone. I can't check right now because no internet to see how much they sell for but it's probably not too bad.

Checked in on the artist. My commission is coming along really well. Andy is in a super actiony pose. Somewhat canonical too. Don't know if it was intentional:

When he does his little jump-run his hat bounces a lil bit off his head and it looks like that.

I really just want the con to be over so I can get back home and be in my own little world to be honest. But after the con it's like an eight hour drive :( please save me.

I just want to surround myself in Heart of Darkness fan art and stuffed dogs.

Turns out the reason why this con sucks and the reason why a con I used to really like started to suck is because it got bought out by a company called InformiCan. They buy Canadian conventions and then ruin them.

Ugh.

There's like four hours left and I'm surviving. No Andy cosplay because at this point it's be just too much work and my toe is still bad. If you guys want I could provide a photo but it's gross. The brusing and swelling have gone down a lot but it's still in pretty sore shape.

There's a stage on the other side of the artist alley and for the entire con they've been blaring really loud bad singing. I guess they received complaints because now it's just fandomy music that's still being blared very loud, but no off key pop songs and people yelling offbeat really loud that is apparently supposed to be rap.

Got the digital Andy. Or saw it. Don't have the file yet because no internet. He looks awesome.

One hour left of the con. I'm so excited to be going home lmao. I want to drown in drawings of Andy and eat junk food. I remember that I have popcicles in the freezer back home owo

Thirty minutes left and your table neighbors have gotten McDonald's. I can smell it and want to die. "I could eat a horse!" is in my head on loop.

Aaaaand it's 5. Time to pack up. Sad it's over because it's the end of an era but I really want some alone time once we get home... After over 8 hours... OOF

I hugged Sam goodbye because it'll probably be the last time I see them for a while because we won't be coming back to cons here. I managed not to cry until I was back at my table. My friend says that we'll probably go to cons here eventually again someday. It just hurts my heart to not see friends for a while.

I wish people aren't just freaking rude for no reason. For a while this con this person just kept fricking glaring and I don't even know why. It's like the guy who got physically confrontational to check badges. You're expending more energy just to be unkind.

Got internet at the McDonald's. Kinda had a mental breakdown and I'm embarrassed by it.

Will probably not have substancial internet until I get back home.

Apparently my package is missing. I'm scared. Hope it comes on Monday.