#his job is to be the token gay

[angelic-charlie-kelly]

does mac ever like work??? like i don’t think I’ve ever seen him do anything in the bar

[theinfinitedivides]

'somebody kiss this man so i don't have to' ykw what we call that in this house. we call those some famous last f*cking words, Eliot Spencer sir

[sunderwight]

SV fic where Shen Yuan rationally decides to be gay. For rational, strategic reasons. He has to do it.

Reason 1: every woman in the world has pretty much been reserved for the protagonist. trying to get with anyone would seal his fight as a rival, on top of a villain! he's basically either got to spend the rest of his life a bachelor or find another option.

Reason 2: obviously as a straight man Shen Yuan would prefer the bachelor option, but that's just leaving him wide open to attacks! Shen Qingqiu already did a poor job of cementing any alliances, having no family to speak of and pissing off the majority of his sect siblings. frankly he's left Shen Yuan in a bind that only some kind of concrete financial and social alliance could solve!

Reason 3: no man wants to die a virgin, right?

Reason 4: increasingly progressive standards in fiction have actually made it gauche to kill off openly gay characters. while a stallion novel might still go in that direction, it's not like he could make his fate much worse, so it's worth a shot, right?

anyway this all leads to Shen Yuan carefully reconstructing the image of Shen Qingqiu into the token complicated gay character. obviously he's not going to put the moves on any of his disciples (he doesn't want to fall into those gay stereotypes!), but to cement the image of himself as a gay man he's going to need to put the moves on someone.

it's a shame that the OG was so well-established in his enmity towards the sect leader. Yue Qingyuan seems like he might have at least entertained such interest, although he's also more of a brotherly type and probably not gay, so perhaps it's for the best in the long run.

luckily, another option falls right into Shen Qingqiu's lap (almost literally!) when he saves Liu Qingge from a qi deviation.

Liu Qingge is actually the perfect target for an unrequited crush. it recontextualizes some of his and the original's enmity, Liu Qingge was dead in the original story so it's not likely to mess up anything worse than him just being alive does, Liu Qingge is beautiful enough that it's believable anyone would be secretly in love with him, and a war god is almost certainly straight, which gives Shen Qingqiu time to adjust to the idea of living as a gay man for the rest of his (hopefully long) life. y'know, before he finds an actual gay to partner with!

the only downside is that coming on to Liu Qingge might discourage him from protecting Shen Qingqiu and repaying his debt in the long run. luckily, that doesn't seem to be the case! despite his face frequently turning red (from anger?) and him sometimes literally fleeing at Shen Qingqiu's awkward attempts at flirting, Liu Qingge never misses an appointment to cleanse his meridians, and seems to take his safety and well-being very seriously.

what an honorable man!

shame that Luo Binghe doesn't seem to like him, though. Shen Qingqiu's not sure what to make of all that. that's your future brother-in-law, Binghe! at least make an attempt to win him over! oh well. at least he's not ruining a relationship between in-laws that otherwise could have been good, as he makes extra sure to subtly bemoan, in front of Luo Binghe, the tragedy of his deep unrequited love for Liu Qingge. for like the third time that week.

[cigarettehearted]

So Tallchuck Tuesday happened on discord, which is just an excuse to draw Tallman Chilchuck on, you guessed it, Tuesdays.

In need of some narrative coherency, here's what we've got so far:

AU where Laios and Falin's dad hoped Laios would be some sorts of sports player but Laios would rather not

He drops out of college, works a lousy retail job, and essentially lives on Falin and Marcille's couch

Falin recruits folks for a weekly DnD game her fellow lab tech is running, but the game hemorrhages a lot of players for a variety of reasons

Laios' coworker, DanDan, mentions he knows a guy who could fill in and who used to play DnD back in the day.

It's a bit scary at first, since Laios knows of Chilchuck from the union. He's an accomplished professional, intimidating to work with, really good at DnD, and it's kind of a surprise to learn tiny bits of his personal life and go, oh, that is. That is a disaster that walks like a man.

He doesn't like talking about his personal life but the game gets him to let his guard down.

Occasionally he lets some buckwild detail slip out.

Marcille can and will catch it but is not subtle about it and so they've started seating her in his blind spot so he can't see her lose her shit when he says something like

"oh, my daughter likes that band. [motions to senshi's sleep token shirt]" or "yeah, my kid went through a phase where she was really into griffins, so i used to put them in the DnD games I played back then because she'd paint the minis-"

Marcille doesn't have a conspiracy board, but after Game Night, she tends to rope her Touden roomies into a discussion of what they have learned this week

Why are you so obsessed with him, Marcille. She likes mysteries, she says.

Laios meanwhile is very pleased that he gets along better with Chilchuck now. They've settled into this camaraderie and can go out for a friendly drink or joke around with each other at work.

Chilchuck wonders: fellas, is it gay to have some beers with your coworker in the back of his pickup truck and start wondering if you're attracted to men?

[damnfandomproblems]

Rep this! Rep that! I am sick of it! Can't people just create what they want without people bringing representation into it?

Not every writer is trying to represent people. Can't writers just write their queer or queer-coded or subtextually queer characters without everyone taking them apart and politicizing them?

Can't anyone write queer fanfiction without people saying 'thanks for the rep,' as if it's other queer people's job to be the marketing team for other LGBTQ+ people? Can't you enjoy queer characters without the judging them by 'quality of rep'?

And another thing! Can we stop acting like headcanons about existing characters with vague/ungiven identities are 'rep'? Headcanoning a character as a queer identity is not 'creating good/bad rep'. It's just having fun!

Even more importantly: the identities of REAL PEOPLE is NEVER EVER REP. They are real people, not fictional characters. A gay man should be able to sing his heart out without you judging him by the 'quality' of 'rep' he seems to be.

Cishets don't have to deal with the politicizing and branding and tokenizing of their identities so why should we, queer people, have to?

[isabel3710]

I had a random thought in my head so now you all get to read it!

*BroZone plus Viva and Poppy are at karaoke*

Viva: *Finishes singing I Kissed A Girl by Katy Parry*

Clay: Nice job Viva!

Viva: Thanks

John Dory: Yeah nice job, but aren't you worried that people will think you're gay now? Especially since you and Clay are dating?

Viva: No it's fine, I'm Pansexual so the song's not wrong.

Poppy: *squealing* oh my gosh! I'm Pan too! Branch is Bisexual.

Clay: That's cool, I use he/they pronouns.

Bruce: Dude! Same! Brandy is also Bi.

Floyd: I'm gay.

Branch: *laughs* does that mean that John is the token straight?

John Dory: No way! I'm queer. I had a boyfriend once, and a girlfriend!

Clay: Wait... did we all end up queer in some way?

Poppy: Sure looks that way!

Floyd: *chuckles* maybe we should rename ourselves to 'QueerZone.'

Branch: *chokes on his drink as he starts laughing*

[alittlebitofloveliness]

The Outsiders as Modern Fast Food Employees

Based on stuff I have seen/done at work

-The management very clearly have a 'brand' about who works out front, so stereotypically 'pretty' people are usually interacting with customers and everyone else gets banished to the grill (this is a real thing that happened at my work. We have one token dude who works at the front and the rest of us are all rosy cheeked young girls with long hair. Seriously, put me and most of my female coworkers together we look scarily similar) POINT IS Soda, Ponyboy, and Angela would all get to work front of house

-Steve works grill and he's the coworker everyone likes for no reason, he's just chill and good at what he does and helps out when front of house is swamped without needing to be asked or being a dick about it

-Every fast food place has one good manager and one evil manager (it's a canon event ok) and as long as the evil manager isn't working Steve lets everyone working eat some of the leftover fries before he chucks them each night

-Ponyboy found a mouse in the walk in pantry once and took it home in a cup to keep as a pet. Darry wouldn't let him, so Curly agreed to foster it for him, and now they relentlessly refer to it as 'the baby'. Newly hired coworkers are always confused and a little concerned because are they actually gay teen parents? No, they're just dumbasses, but no one tells the new hires that because it's fun to see how long it takes them to figure out they're cooing about a pet MOUSE not a human child

-Everyone chats and shit talks over the headsets all the time, even though they're not supposed to. Since Curly and Angela speak spanish but no one else does, they shit talk about the evil manager when she's there, and tell her they're talking about their brother if she ever asks what they're going on about

-Sodapop hates working drive through but gets it almost every shift since he's one of the few people trained to do it

-Two-bit is that guy who's technically employed but has like...one scheduled shift a week and still calls in all the time

-Theres a group chat where the schedule gets shared but only Soda and Steve ever use it, and never for it's intended purpose

-Angela can cry on command and anytime a customer starts to complain about anything she immediately bursts into tears. As soon as the customer leaves she stops

-Angela's customer service voice is already high pitched (we love customer service voice woohoo) but when she's working drive through it's so shrill its a wonder anyone can understand her

-Darry has his other jobs so he definitely wouldn't work where the rest of them work but he's that family member that stops by all the time and chates to soda and/or pony for half an hour and everyone else is annoyed 'cause they gotta pick up the slack.

-Dallas also wouldn't work with them because that man could NOT do customer service but him and Tim could drop by all the time and be really nice to the workers but yell at other customers. Someone is letting their kid run wild in the lobby? Tim's scolding that kid AND their mother. Some old guy is bring curt with the staff? Dally's gonna be more than curt to him

-Johnny would be a doordash/skip driver but he's at the store so often that everyone greets him by name and kinda treats him like an honorary employee

[homielander]

the most interesting character detail about maeve through which i have extrapolated at least half my understanding of her is that she prefers to be called maeve. i frequently see "maggie" pop up in meta and fic as her chosen name, but quite literally nobody calls her that, including (and most significantly) elena. elena is maeve's tether to her humanity and her refuge away from vought, yet even elena only ever refers to her as maeve. (and in season 2, we learn that maeve started dating elena before she joined the seven -- before queen maeve's popularity would have become so inescapable that she would feel compelled to introduce herself by that name.) it's especially notable that in her final scene, maeve refers to starlight as annie for only the second time, but she is still called maeve by both annie and elena.

here's what we know about maeve's life as maggie: she had a rocky relationship with her father whom she doesn't seem to speak to anymore, she's from a "cousin-fucker hick town" as described by homelander -- i can't imagine this place being terribly lgbt-friendly, and she generally lacks connection with anyone she would have known before becoming queen maeve. she doesn't have fond memories of this time of her life, and perhaps that extends to all associations with it, including the name maggie.

i tend to think that becoming queen maeve was, in many ways, self-actualizing for her. the act that garners her national attention and earns her a ticket to vought is a heroic one -- she breaks every single bone in her right arm to save a school bus from falling off a bridge. and i know madelyn says she is responsible for the mythos of queen maeve, but this character was still aspirational, and likely someone maeve wanted to live up to. in any case, this new identity gave her a purpose and tools to achieve it: she wanted to help people! by her own admission, maeve enters vought bright-eyed and hopeful, not far off from annie. (maeve is also one of the only supes in the seven not to know about compound v -- she doesn't strike me as religious but believing she's among the very few born with powers would have strengthened her internal drive to be a hero.)

it's for the same reason that i think maeve actually... liked having powers? of course she says otherwise in her last season, but season 3 maeve is cynical and weary from about two decades of dealing with vought and homelander's abuse. they've used her first as the token woman and then the token gay person of the seven. after growing largely passive to the brutality of the job, the flight 37 incident forces her to confront all of the violence she's witnessed and tolerated. she's given pieces of herself away and she loathes the husk of herself that's left. i don't find it surprising that she would want to relinquish every single connection to vought, including her powers.

assuring herself that she will be better off without her powers comes with an added benefit: she gets to distinguish herself from homelander, who would be lost without his powers. and i think she is eager to make this distinction in her mind because there are some uncomfortable similarities between their initiations into vought. the mantle of homelander allows him to exert agency for the first time in his life, just as the mantle of queen maeve endows her with purpose for the first time in hers. (crucially, none of his current circle call him john, either.) they both enjoy being the most powerful superheroes in the world, the unending public adoration, and (in my interpretation) each other. they're also both overwhelmingly lonely and they know it -- homelander teases her multiple times about how she has no friends with a bit more bite in every passing season, while maeve is keenly aware of his isolation and exploits his yearning for love pretty effectively.

maeve steadily grows disillusioned with her position at vought because she still has a moral code, suppressed though it may be. even so, she nearly relents to homelander's vision: that they will be lonely at the top but lonely together. she's pulled out of her miserable state of inaction by annie and elena. annie reminds her of what a hero should be (what she was, once); elena offers her a way out of vought, serving as maeve's light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak.

she escapes that tower as maeve, not maggie. she rejects homelander's god complex which engenders his cruelty towards regular people and 'lesser' supes -- no one will call her queen maeve ever again, at least -- but it is still important to her to be a hero, and for better or for worse, she found that as maeve. i feel like she'd struggle to exist without her powers (possibly the self-awareness hasn't settled in yet) for all the reasons mentioned above. i like to think that eventually, she'll circle around to helping people and resisting vought however possible -- albeit on a smaller, more covert scale so she can continue living a peaceful life with elena.

[sweetestpopcorn]

Why you make them wait for 3 years for baby Aegon?

Hi there :D

As it is my usual for some time now, many apologies for this delay in getting back to you, Anon. I hope you are still somewhere out there and can read the answer, if not, maybe others have asked themselves this question and take some enjoyment from my answer.

I would say it was mainly for two reasons. First, in my AU, Rhaenyra's biggest handicap in the Dance and for her claim is removed. Marrying Daemon in 113 AC means she never had any illegitimate children. In fact, she has two very legitimate and very Targaryen eldest children who are both male: Aegon and Viserys, who are extremely popular to the point that they strengthen her claim. I also had planned to make her have Visenya a lot earlier on since it wouldn't make sense to have like decades in between children given how... active Daemon and Rhaenyra are. Thus, she would not be recovering from a horrible birth who resulted in a stillbirth baby at the start of the Dance. If her oldest sons were older, and with her capable of taking part in the fighting, I think it would have made the war a bit too unbalanced and anything but a clear and easy victory from the Blacks would have not been believable (imho), so Aegon and Viserys definitely needed to still be quite young at the start of the dance.

Second reason was this moment right here in Fire & Blood: "Childbirth exacted a toll on the princess; the weight that Rhaenyra gained during her pregnancies never entirely left her, and by the time her youngest boy was born, she had grown stout and thick of waist, the beauty of her girlhood a fading memory, though she was but twenty years of age" (Fire and Blood, pg 377).

I think this passage does a good job of setting a certain tone of what Rhaenyra's life was like when she was only 20. A young woman married against her will with a gay man who she never had a real marriage with, with three illegitimate children who everyone whispered about, having an affair with a man to seek a small measure of comfort - a token of how lonely she was around this time - and who could never claim the children they had together, forbidden to have married the man she wanted - Daemon - having half of the court against her and whispering bad things about her. Being regarded by so many in such a negative light and becoming someone who others mocked.

I don't know how clear it was to others, but I felt Rhaenyra's pain and sadness in those pages and in her marriage to Laenor. And the tragic part was how young she still was and how dark what the rest of her life would be like seemed at this moment -> it later changed though thanks to Daemon, but at this point she had no way of knowing that.

My AU is meant to be what she wanted: marrying Daemon. It's about giving her a happier life, which I don't think anyone with two working braincells would debate was what she would have had she married Daemon from the start.

And so her entrance in the Red Keep when she returns to Westeros, at 20, newly pregnant (but not visibly so), as beautiful and happy as ever, having spent the last three years not stuck on a horrible marriage and an affair having illegitimate children but rather travelling the world and enjoying herself, is meant to serve as a sharp contrast to what her life had been in canon at that time.

Of course that people still whisper about her - they always would, she's a Targaryen woman and the heir to the Iron Throne - and of course she still knows hardship and loss. It's not all butteflies and rainbows because that is never the case in the asoiaf universe (or our own), but she is much happier. She got to enjoy her youth, marry a man she loved, and be very secure in this pregnancy, one with no secrets, knowing how happy she will make the baby's father.

I hope this answered your question, sorry again for the delay :D

Have a very lovely Summer!

[gunsatthaphan]

Hiii!

Wanted to ask you what are your thoughts on summer night so far? I do enjoy it quite a bit, and I really was not expecting it.

Can we talk abt the fact, that White is literally like obsessed with Lune??? This boi is not gonna convince me he likes Star, like-

Its nice to see that the whole squad is gay ( well maybe expect for the token straight Lune)

Anyway they are trying to sneak the heterosexuals here and I find myself enjoying it! How abt you?

ah yes how I've missed the lakorns where the bromance is beating the romance lmao this is for sure the gayest one since baker boys and I love it lol. The director has directed mostly bls in the past and it really shows skjdhf.

it's hilarious how they're throwing literally everyone into a gay triangle lmao like there's absolutely no reason for White and Lune to have 17 yaoi moments per episode and White telling Lune he's his first kiss every 5 minutes but I love it lmao. No idea if they cast bl actors as mains and altered the story accordingly on purpose or if the webtoon is actually like that but it's definitely adding a certain type of energy lmao.

my expectations for Phuwin and Dunk were kind of inverted which is interesting bc I went into it anticipating Phuwin as the typical ML but so far the actual MVP is Dunk lol go figure. I'm really enjoying him as White I think he's doing a great job in his first solo project. I was ready to say Joong come get ur mans but he better not lmao. Lune is a little too plain for my liking which annoys me sometimes and White being so obsessed with him is hysterical bc like my dude,,,, bro has no personality jkdhgj. either he's actually into him or he's scheming something lol.

but all in all this is my type of show, I still need some convincing that this is not actually a bl lmao but I'm glad this turned out better than I expected and also let's not forget about the actual bl couple because they're adorable?! 🥺 I'm ready for more!

xxx

[cheesysoup-arlo]

Cady’s Cousin (pt.1)

(pt. 2)/(pt. 3)/(pt. 4)

You’re cady’s cousin and you had to transfer to north shore senior year

Warnings: homophobia, use of slur (d-slur), violence?(idk) sexual harassment? (I’m not good at warnings I’m sorry)

A/N: before anyone is like “Aaron already graduated” I don’t think he did that poor boy got held back in my opinion you’re allowed to disagree also everyone’s gay SURPRISE these are all just my opinions feel free to disagree

You were hanging out with your cousin the Saturday before school was due to start and she said she invited some friends over when they arrived you were pleasantly surprised. Once you got settled and started chatting you joked “hey Cads I didn’t know you had cool friends, I thought you’d only knew math nerds like yourself, oh and I’m (Y/N) by the way” “oh right, this is my cousin, everyone say hi” the group says hi “ooo nice pants” you say to a girl with dyed green tips in her hair and the coolest pants you’ve ever seen “thanks, the name’s Janis by the way” she sticks out her hand for you to shake and you do “nice to me you” you say with a wink “ew stop being gay” the blonde one jokes “Regina shut up you literally have a girlfriend” Janis says lightly punching the blonde in the arm. “Is anyone in this group straight?” You say through a laugh “as of last week, nope” says a boy with brown hair who you honestly expected to be the token straight shaking his head “ah yes our baby gay, this is Aaron he just came out be patient with him” Regina says patting Aaron’s head. Two more girls and a boy show up “sorry we’re late Karen lost her phone” the more visual anxious and shorter of the two girls says “it was in the freezer” the boy says “oh who is this?” The boy asks genuinely curious “Cady’s cousin” Aaron says with a smile “can we like rapid fire everyone’s name and pronouns really quick for me” you ask getting a little confused. “I’ll go first even though you already know my name Cady, she/her” “Janis, they/she but honestly any I don’t really care” “Regina, she/her” “Damian, the badest/bitch no I’m just kidding he/him or they/them is cool” “Aaron, he/him? Those are the boy ones, right?” “yes Aaron good job” Janis says laughing and giving him a thumbs up “Karen, she/they? I think” “Gretchen, also she/they” Cady is happy to see that you seem to like her friends “what about you (Y/N)?” Regina asks “oh um (your pronouns) works” you say with an awkward thumbs up “so (y/n) where are you from and what brings you here?” Gretchen asks excited to know more about you “oh um I’m from Florida and I recently got suspended from my last school so my dad thought it would be a good idea to send me here to live with my aunt and Cady to “think about my highly irresponsible and destructive behavior” I honestly don’t think what I did was that big of a deal given the circumstances” you say kind of annoyed, the annoyance directed at your father “ooo what’d you do?” Janis asks suddenly more intrigued “oh I punched a dude in his face and lit his backpack on fire for harassing me but like it’s honestly not my fault if we think about it, I reported his behavior twice and told him if he didn’t leave me alone I’d punch him in the face and light his backpack on fire, He for some reason thought I was joking and when I was walking to lunch slapped my ass and said “give me a chance this dick can turn any dyke straight” then winked at me so I punched him and pulled out my lighter and whoosh fire” you said doing jazz hands when you said fire “that’s freakin awesome” Janis says enthusiastically and the group turns to look at her confused “oh um not the getting harassed part but like what you did was to that dude, that was like so tits” she explains “tits?” you say confused “i got this, “tits” is one of Janis’ fun little words she uses and it typically means awesome, really cool, or fuck yeah” Damian explains with a smile “tits” you say with a small chuckle “wait you’re from Florida? Have you ever seen an alligator?” Karen asks “yes I have they’re not as scary as people say” you respond “that’s like really cool” Karen says with a smile “oh my gosh your hair is like so fetch” Gretchen says after looking at you for a little bit “um thank you? I’m assuming that also means cool?” You say slowly and confused “yeah pretty much” Regina says patting Gretchen on the shoulder before she freaks out. Hanging out with them, you thought they were really cool so switching to a new school and state for your last year of high school might not suck as much as you thought .

A/N: guys I don’t know anything about Florida but it felt homophobic so I used it lmao also I think I’m gonna do this in parts I know I said Janis x cady’s cousin and I will give that to you but I want to know if you like it so far before I go hardcore into the story lol

[stupid-starkid-headcannons]

trans starship anon here im going into specifics

bug: nonbinary but masc presenting. they/he technically but he truly doesn't care, gender doesn't exist on bug world in the same it does to humans. also aroace(spectrum) (buguary qpr realness) and bi

february: straight trans girl!! buguary is also t4t suprise! i think her parents were really supportive growing up, and shes just unapologetically feminine i love her for it

taz: kind of nonbinary kind of gender fluid she doesnt care whats in her pants? a knife. also butch lesbian because i love her. i dont think they've ever been in a relationship really (shes a 16 year old leutenant i dont think shes had that much free time) but if they were to be it would NAWT be a man

up: genders a bit wobbly but mostly masculine. he/him but doesnt really care about pronouns, i think pre-injury he was pretty hegenomic - and also very unconfident in his masculinity. but after his recovery, and after his talk with bug, hes kinda found himself out! Technically cis but literally who cares. also i think hes gay

specs: transfem nonbinary i have never seen a cisgender computer programmer/j. any pronouns but primarily they/she. i think growing up they always had really long hair so people kept mistaking them for a girl and eventually she just stopped correcting people lmaoo. also silly hc: specs was a nickname given as a kid because of their glasses that just kinda stuck. also aroace. maybe lesbian.

krayonder: trans man for sure, he/him. kind of an unrelated headcanon but i think he wears alot of stupid fucking graphic tees (alpha wolf howling at the moon, galaxy space pizza cat etc) and cargo shorts and its horrifying for everyone involved. also bisexual (damn son you get no bitches for real)

tootsie: trans man, he/him but honestly he doesnt give a shit hes just here for a good time. to me, farm planet is actually really accepting gender wise it was pretty chill ! doesnt really label his sexuality at all but i do think hes been attracted to men in the past

mega-girl: technically sexless but uses she/her, im not sure if that counts as being trans but shes gender enough so it counts. surprise tootsie&megagirl are ALSO t4t(ish) get hit with my beam. i think genders a little weird for her because while she "is not a woman" (her words) she is a megaGIRL unit so. im not sure if that means shes programmed with gender or not, either way she is comfortable with she/her pronouns so Shrugs. also sexuality wise she doesnt really label but Technically pan

junior: honestly, token cis man. im sorry hes awful /LH I LOVE HIM. tbh i think he would have to take ALOT of introspection and alot of therapy to even BEGIN to be thinking about his gender. embodiment of that "i might be nonbinary but i have a job so idc about that rn" tweet. he/him but with a bit of self care he/xe 😈 hes also gay but he has a job so he dc about that rn

im normal about starship. theyre also all autistic

yes yes to all of it

[gnashingwailing]

Kept notes on a reread I was doing of The Art of Love and War because I am so obsessed with the gay little borrower darkfic... sharing with u @fireflywritesgt

it falls apart at ch12 because that is where i consistently turn into a puddle under my covers kicking my legs and making sounds only audible to shrimps.

I HOPE THIS IS A SMALL TOKEN OF APPRECIATION FOR HOW GUD THIS FIC IS, SINCERELY... LIKE I SAID PUTTING THIS IN SOMEBODY'S INBOX IS PROBABLY A WAR CRIME. SO.

There is soooo muuuuch I want to saaaay. I did a reread and excuse my being verbose but.

Ch10 where Harry reads about how tinies don’t ask for things and prefer to do favors for them — how extra insulting that makes his message in Ch1!! “Just ask” no wonder Joe was so pissed!!

ALSO him feeling “dirty, somehow” about accepting chocolate that didn’t kill him… was he having a little bit of feelings for “the kind man” and it got transmuted into self-loathing… 😭 oh internalized homophobia tag we’re really in it now…

Re: ch2 I would kill for Joe’s pov of this… I’m also so fascinated to pick up the detail that Joe apparently talked to himself regularly, for Harry to hear him through the radiator pipes… one assumes Joe doesn’t have guests. Poor guy! He’s really smart! He likes talking! The assistant job is perfect for himmmm.

Re: ch3, i wonder how much Captain Calloway’s “if you die it’s your own damn fault” has influenced Joe’s life ethos of fucking around and finding out (btw… Harry would be sooo horrified to know Joe had been poisoned 3 times and still tried that chocolate 😭 yet another fun! anecdote of his) … im also kinda curious about Gutters. What’s that guy’s deal. And OF. COURSE. How Captain got all his injuries. It’s also so very sad he feels this tension with the guys, what they’d do to him if they knew more about who he really was. I love this as a metaphor for homophobia…

Ch5 I’m still fixated on the giants who are guarding the place. Hundreds of tinies going there every day… you’d think there’d be snatchers all over the place 👀 and the other great worldbuilding… lab tinies… “they were corralling everyone everywhere and the women and kids went one way…” GOD. also them building tiny capitalism plus tiny race science is just 😭😭😭 noooo… the way Harry reinforces their shared dignity and humanity by showing genuine interest in Joe’s art.. ouuuugh it hits every time.

ALSO I WAS SO SUSPICIOUS OF HILL WHEN I FIRST READ CH6 BUT NOW THST I KNOW HE IS A BONA FIDE WIFEGUY ALL IS REDEEMED. I AM so curious as to why he keeps tiny town schematics in his office if he dislikes it…

Ch7 profoundly funny to me how Hill is like “miniature is the academic term” and Joe is like what. Tinies.

I really appreciate how Harry started off having some uh. Idk. Colonizer savior complex stuff + noble savage ideas about Joe? Like “oh it’s in mother nature’s hands whether he survives then… I see…” as if the tinies social constructs about Pets are some immutable fact of nature instead of. A social construct !! It’s really well-done, how you show him gradually understanding that he needs to listen to Joe, not assume he knows what’s best for him just because he read a 50yr old anthropology book!! It makes me love Harry all the more that he managed to grow through it out of fondness for Joe 🥺

AND OF COURSE. THE G/T GOODNESS. My god. I loooooove that Joe is so creeped out by giants that he has to keep his eyes closed to stomach it… just feels. Hmm. Realistic?? It would be so overwhelming. I love that his trust gets rewarded with the doctor not hurting him…

The rapport they establish being based on talking to one another… it’s just suuuuch a perfect central theme for this story… Joe being able to tame Harry’s anger by reminding him of Joe’s own humanity. “Please don’t do that, doc. This is mean. You’re being mean.” And “you’re treating me like I’m not even… not even…” UGH. RENT FREE IN MY HEAD, WARREN. “Maybe he could do it; maybe he could sit in the same room as a giant for five minutes. He would only have to do it once, and then he would never have to do it again, he reasoned.” Bitch u thought… get loved and cared for idiot…

Joe asking him “why not”, echoing Harry’s words that stuck with him…

And then him being sooo pissed at the phone it’s just absolutely amazing stuff. Wagging his finger at it/Dr Hill lmaooo. I was hootin and hollerin when I realized this foreshadows him being the assistant!!! He can talk on the phone just fine!!!!

His legs threatening to give way from the prospect of Harry seeing him at ground level after he escapes using the phone receiver… ouuugh. It’s SO GOOD. He’s come such a long way…

“Touching every wooden beam he passed for good luck” is INCREDIBLY cute mental imagery.., he’s happy… poor guy has awful luck tho so Harry is just pissed 😭 HIM NEARLY DESTROYING THE PLATES BECSUSE HARRY SCARED HIM SO BAD HAD ME FEELING.. SOME KIND OF WAY…

Ch8 also has the first mention of Joe’s books… I’m sooo curious where he got these.. did he perhaps make them…? 👀 YEAH HARRY SHOULD FEEL LIKE A MONSTER THO. YOU TERRORIZED A LIL MOVIE STAR!!! HE ONLY BROKE A FEW THINGS… Making him hide under his covers like he saw a monster… 😭

I love their first god awful handshake lmao. Incredible subversion of the usual g/t first meetings… Joe’s just like OK 👋 NOW GET THAT THANG OUTTA HERE

And then Joe going “I know about that!” Joe protested, his voice growing stronger. “It’s up to me, doc. If it happens, it happens and it’ll be my own damn fault.” … something tells me when Harry finally comes to understand Joe’s recklessness with his own life and what feelings about its worth may be underpinning that, he will be so sad 😔

Joe losing his toes to frostbite… realizing that could very likely be from when he was kidnapped and enslaved with O’Grady… uuuugh he’s so brave to want to connect with anybody at all let alone with Harry!!

Ch9 professor wifeguy moments… yesss… I love that he wants to hang out with another tiny too 😭 Joe is making friends!! I can’t wait to find out about Lorraine and what “other place” she knows about!!! Lmfao I can tell she’s going to be incredible just from the little bit Joe hears of her. I wonder too if she’s been marked… aahhh I’m so excited to learn more about these two. How interesting of a parallel, too, that Harry noted Dr Hill might also be a former soldier… something-something folks unable to fully integrate into society finding and building community with each other…

Also PROFOUNDLY interested to note on a reread that the tiny town on his wall says “a SAFE place to be” and the one in Riverdale said “a CIVILIZED place to be” 😬 a damn prison indeed… I also really wonder just HOW the tinies are paying their rent(?) to stay there, if they’re all as disdainful of “borrowing” as a career as O’Grady seems to be…

MAY I JUST NOTE that Joe stimming around is sooo charming to me. He’s kickin’ his legs. He’s pacing back and forth. He’s doing something like that in the walls when Harry was first listening to him. I LOVE HIM.. aND I love how this chapter we see him going from “that tall bastard (derogatory)” to “that tall bastard (amused)”

AND POOR JOE ON THE MOST CURSED FIELD TRIP IMAGINABLE. There is much to love here but I absolutely adore this imagery: “Joe buried himself in the curtain as the doctor, dressed to the nines in his work clothes and vaguely resembling a horse in a brown suit, sidled over to him and towered there and seethed.” HE’S TERRIFIED 😭 and Joe learns that other people value his wellbeing more than he does… wow Joe no need to ponder that any further until Ch15!!!

There’s SO much incredible prose in this chapter… the haaaaands oh my god the hands. The tinies are on the order of 2-3 inches tall, right? You really get a vivid sense of how big and dangerous everything is to them… absolutely A+ stuff.

This part also slays me everytime I think about it: “Joe was hidden inside [the pocket], and the thought of how unhinged his dear neighbour must look to his fellow giants as he walked and talked gave him no small amount of delight.” HE WOUUUULD.

The mystery of just what Joe created as a boy… what he can’t find it in himself to articulate… why he can hardly fathom talking about himself and his inner world to anyone …

PART 10… the difference in the way Joe confronts Harry here vs with the assistant in part 16 is somehow heartbreaking to me. I think the anger must just be displacement for how he’s really feeling (worried, uncomfortable…) and he’s more able to show his feelings to Harry with the assistants than he is now… but Joeeeee. I don’t ever want him to feel hopeless with Harry, like he just has to accept whatever he wants 😭 I love him in this chapter… Arms crossed, eyes narrowed… red faced… clawing at the air as he ranted Jdhdhdj GOD HE’S SO ICONIC: ““Nope. Not gonna happen! Veto!” Joe leapt up from the box, strode all the way to the edge of the table, and jabbed a finger at him. “I don’t know what kind of sick, twisted doctor things you intend to do to people but whatever it is, it’s not happening in my house!”” I guess I want him to still be comfortable with yelling veto at Harry lmao!!

And then Joe being like WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT YOU SAVING ME THE OTHER DAY. THAT MEANS NOTHING TO ME, A WILD AND INDEPENDENT TINY WHO HAD IT ALL UNDER CONTROL, AT ALL.

ALSO: the way he words this, I have a strong suspicion he does not know the word “patients”?! “”Let’s make a deal in exchange for patients. Give me something in exchange for patients.” Joe stammered. “You do that and I won’t make any trouble.””

Harry thinking of Joe as “the little bastard” in counterpoint to Joe’s “the tall bastard” really makes me smile too, hahahah.

AND THE FURTHER G/T TROPE INVERSION… just because he was willing to get in the giant’s hands one time doesn’t mean he’s suddenly fine with it!! I love how pissed they are at each other over this misunderstanding lmfao. He’s 👏 a 👏 wild 👏 tiny 👏 ‼️

And it’s so meaningful to me that the two of them bond more over sharing art with one another… Harry wants to introduce Joe to an amazing piano player… and Joe is so happy!!! The idea for a Charlie Chaplin bit with a rich miniature woman is SO inspired btw, I was as delighted as Joe was 😭 Harry being like “oh shit wait is this offensive” and then Joe just being like “THIS FUCKS SO HARD LMAO IT REALLY DO BE LIKE THAT”

And then the tragic aftermath… Harry NOTICING that he didn’t even know that he was doing anything wrong by bringing Joe there, it just FELT so dreadfully taboo (enough that Hill, who is MARRIED TO A TINY, also seems like he’s been caught doing something wrong when Harry first meets him)…. and then of course society reinforces that fear in a terrible way. Only a shared humanity regarding love of art saves poor Joe.. how lucky he’s gotten enough exposure to be able to speak in the presence of giants. You have to ponder how many tinies just as wonderfully complex as him have died for not having that skill. It’s so very sad!!! THE IMAGERY OF HIM ON THE LAMP LIKE IT’S A STREETCORNER JUST TWISTED THE KNIFE. Your writing really is so excellent, the way you can carry us through so many different emotions… Joe my belovedddd. I’m simply obsessed with the implications of him NAMING HARRY. WHAT IS /THAT/?? And the way that the narration in the story from this point on swaps to using Harry as his name… it speaks VOLUMES without you needing to elaborate on it at all. Joe has changed him! He’s becoming someone he likes better than Herman! A day we had good luck… Harry is good luck… Luck as a concept very different from what giants think of… I am absolutely enamored with how clearly he has a whole other world, another culture, that Harry can only guess at and be grateful to be included in.

JOE GETTING A NICE BATH AND A COMFORTABLE BED IN THIS CHAPTER IS JUST SO WHOLESOME (even if it will torment his Calvinist sensibilities later…) I am also so charmed to imagine how Joe must have woken up and been like “what the FUCK did I do last night. Where the HELL am I 🤨”

And then in Ch11 he’s like I WILL PROCEED NOT TO THINK OF THAT AT ALL. <- clueless

Ch11 is one of my favorites I think… we really get a good glimpse into how much heavy-duty rationalizing Joe is doing LMAO. “Taking food is fine, because I’m just using this tall bastard.” “It’s fine if I have leisure time.” “It’s fine if I like Harry and his company and I miss him when he’s gone and I want to give him a name.” “AS LONG AS I DON’T GET COMFORTABLE ALL OF THIS IS FINE.” This line is such a banger lol: “Joe Piccoli was many things as he went to sleep that night, but he was not a pet, and he was not comfortable.” And then the mouse!!! That Joe decides to draw rather than kill!!! Look at his needs being met!!!!!

IT ALSO ABSOLUTELY FUCKIN KILLED ME WHEN I REALIZED IN THIS CHAPTER THAT THE BOYS HAVE JUST. FULLY LEFT THAT FLOORBOARD OFF LMFAO??? THAT’S HIS SKYLIGHT NOW…

And then. Good god. The arm scene… it’s just. Soooo. 👌👌👌👌 I’m so … 😵‍💫💖❤️‍🔥…

“I’m a wild tiny!” “You’re going to be a dead tiny if that gets infected.” Their dynamic is so fucking funny. AND THE TENDERNESS OF HARRY TOUCHING JOE… Joe being so overwhelmed not exactly with fear but HMMM I WONDER WHAT EMOTION AND WHY HE MIGHT FEEL SO OVERWHELMED HE STILL NEEDS TO CLOSE HIS EYES AND PRETEND HE’S HIDDEN UNDER THE FLOOR AGAIN… 🤔🤔🤔 whyever would the touch of this kind giant make his hair stand on end and make him contemplate the reverence he’s being touched with and leave his cheeks burning… it is a mystery

And then Joe being so afraid the mouse would be hurt because in contrast to the kindness he’s been shown, he still has this long history of awful experiences with giants.. this part in particular made my heart hurt:

“Don’t kill the mouse, Harry, please don’t kill it. It’s just like me. It hasn’t done anything to you.” Joe begged.

Followed by him remembering that this is /Harry, his friend, who he knows/:

“The words hit Joe like the breaking of a spell, and he stood in the kitchen windowsill feeling downright foolish. Of course Harry wouldn’t kill the mouse, Joe realized - of course he wouldn’t do that.”

OUGH. This story is SO delicious I’m beyond obsessed…

The two of them having a much less Charged encounter after Joe has resolved some of his internal conflicts, at least for the moment… chatting away like they’re two normal friends while Harry touches him… 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 I LOVE THESE TWO SO MUCH‼️

Their motorcycle shenanigans… Harry showing Joe his precious Contraption and Joe absolutely hating it omg it was so peak 😭 PLAYING “WHO’S-MORE-BORING CHICKEN”… the way Joe is like “I would rather Die than have to listen to this guy talk about how he’s more exciting than me. Absolutely not.”

I also very much appreciate the foreshadowing of the street car on this re-read…

AND may I say I really love that they went on a little nature trip together!!! I have thought often of the potential of a g/t story set outdoors, where the normal sized person and the tiny are both made small by how all-encompassing the wilderness is. Something to do with camping or backpacking! Maybe something I want to write one day! This gave me a delightful taste of that.

AND ANYWAY THE ACCEPTING OF COMFORT EVEN AS IT FLIES IN THE FACE OF EVERYTHING HE’S BEEN TAUGHT TO ROMANTICIZE AND VALUE… ouuuughhh GET LOVED IDIOT!! GET SEEN AND KNOWN AND TAKEN CARE OF!!!

And then ch12… Harry’s realization that Joe won’t ever bring up anything if it’s just for his own benefit. Which by the way, on a re-read I can appreciate how cleverly you’ve set this up, if I didn’t write that clearly enough before! There’s something cultural there but also, I think, something uniquely Joe that Harry maybe can’t fully see yet. Harry’s watch from his parents breaking down at the same moment he’s trying to change his relationship with Joe, the new most important person in his life (at least I presume! He doesn’t seem to have other close friends/family) … very very good. This sentence is so evocative. Simultaneously funny and sad: “With the way Joe’s eyes shifted from side to side one would think the doctor had suggested they go rob a bank.” It’s very good angst realizing how much Harry is asking of Joe without him even knowing it…

BTW this part is so delightful. They’re so interested in each other!!! “When his footsteps announced his arrival, he could see the tiny’s movements through the missing floorboards as his neighbour crossed the floor and climbed back up to the windowsill above the counter.” <- guy who absolutely has NOT been gotten

“Joe smiling. A rare sight indeed.” JUST…. My heaaaart ‼️‼️

Also hilarious how Joe and now Harry have both had “mmm I do NOT like the way this guy is smiling right now” moments 🤣

GOD tho, Joe’s opening up about getting snatched… much like Harry, it made me feel absolutely beside myself.

^^^ AS YOU CAN SEE. I'VE FULLY FALLEN APART.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

reading update: november 2023

hiiiii, sorry I'm late! I know we're a week past November now, but I've been busy! and struggling to pull my mental health out of an absolute crevasse! I think I've mostly made it at this point, but unfortunately my month of seasonal affective woe did leave me with a pretty paltry reading list for the month of November :/

not that I have a quota to hit, but I'm getting back into reading with a PASSION now and I'm hoping to get a few more really great novels in before the year ends!

what have I been reading?

Exquisite Corpse (published as Poppy Z. Brite, currently known as William Martin, 1996) - man, you guys know how I love a fucked up little story about some nasty freaks? this is a FUCKED UP story about the NASTIEST freaks. gay serial killer Andrew escapes a life sentence in England by faking his own death and flees to America, where he lands in New Orleans and promptly meets a man named Jay, who is - holy shit, what are the odds? ALSO a gay serial killer! they get along like a house on fire, setting their sights immediately on a beautiful young runaway drug deal name Tran who has his sights set on Jay. but Trans' ex-boyfriend, Luke, a bitter writer turned pirate DJ dying of AIDS, is also up in the mix, complicating things for everyone. the tone is unrelentingly gruesome but beautifully written and frequently funnier than should be possible. certainly not a book for everyone, with about every possible trigger warning on the table, but god. WHAT a ride. I savored every second.

Unmasking Autism: Discovering the New Faces of Neurodiversity (Devon Price, 2022) - any hype you've heard about this book is absolutely worth it. Price is really exemplifying the excellence that comes from in-group writing, the magic that happens when people with firsthand experience living a life outside The Norm infiltrates academia and get the credentials to be recognized as the experts they are. I can't speak to the experience of reading this book as an autistic person, but as someone who's often the token allistic among my friends it clarified things that I had never even thought to wonder about with straightforward, accessible style and firsthand understanding. also, hey, it's so cool to see a book just straight-up advocating for autistic people to get more autistic and worry less about appeasing the allistic people around them. Dr. Price writes great advice, and I strongly recommend checking out this book and more of his work here. reading this also made me absolutely feral to check out Price's first book, Laziness Does Not Exist, so expect notes on that soon!

Momfluenced: Inside the Maddening, Picture-Perfect World of Mommy Influencer Culture (Sara Petersen, 2023) - listen, we can be honest here: that title is too long. but the read is worth it, even if I do have some mixed feelings about Petersen's messaging. she's not a momfluencer, but she is a mom who has been and still is very invested in momfluencers, letting that fascination fuel this book's creation. I found Petersen a bit too quick to come to the defense of influencing as a profession, which could grate. yes, women influencers are often the targets of a particular hostility that certainly stems from misogyny. yes, it certainly is true that being a full-time Instagram poster on top of raising living human children requires a lot of time and effort, which I guess does make it a "real job". but there are lots of "real jobs" that I disrespect on principle, and influencers are certainly on the list. Petersen has analysis on the stark hegemony of momfluencers, particularly the insidious white supremacy that controls which mothers are seen as aspirational, and she's certainly not lacking in self-reflection about the role momfluencers have played in her own parenting decisions, but it would have been nice to see more pushback on the concept of influencers existing at all, not just creating space for more diverse moms to take up the title. having said that: the chapter in which Petersen reflects on her own mother's lifelong dissatisfaction and grapples with learning to see her mother as a person, rather than just a perfectly happy crafty homemaker, was one of the most riveting things I've ever read and attacked me right in my own maternal baggage. she's a chatty writer who sometimes pulls back the conversational curtain to say the most haunting shit you've ever read in your life, particularly if you're like me and regard motherhood as a sort of horror movie scenario.

Unfortunately Yours (Tessa Bailey, 2023) - god, more like UNFORTUNATELY THIS BOOK, am I right? Unfortunately Yours was November's romance novel, which I finally got around to reading after it was gifted to me this summer by my housemate who clearly hates me. I already bitched about it at length in this month's hater roundup over on my Patreon, but god. jesus christ. I've had a lot of fun reading romance novels that are pretty charmingly crappy, but Bailey just fucking sucks. this book has it all: incessant references to the size difference between our hulking he-man protag and his itty bitty love interest, WEIRD gender dynamics, the most half-assed alleged "enemies-to-lovers" I've ever seen (they just kind of don't get along, it's nothing), convoluted fake marriage, "witty" "banter" that really reads like Bailey has never heard two clever or funny people talk to each other before and has to guess, and some viscerally upsetting sex scenes including one that takes place IN THE MIDDLE OF A FLASH FLOOD. also, the male protag is a war criminal. nobody ever shuts up about how he's an ex-Navy SEAL, but they never seem to want to talk about what SEALs actually do. might be kind of a boner killer.

what am I reading now?

The Bandit Queens (Parini Shroff, 2023) - I started this novel a couple days ago and I'm absolutely devouring it; I've got about 100 pages left and cannot wait to see how the story resolves. it's tremendous fun but also hits on emotional depths that I didn't expect going into a black comedy about rural Indian women killing their husbands! I'm very excited to finish it up and talk about it in my next recap; I think it's one of my favorite novels of the year for sure.

Out There Screaming: An Anthology of New Black Horror (edited by Jordan Peele, 2023) - I meant to read this for October but oops, there were too many holds at the library! regardless, the stories have been nothing but bangers so far.

Small Game (Blair Braverman, 2022) - I haven't started this novel yet, but it's been on my list for a while and after listening to several of Braverman's guest episodes on You're Wrong About in a row, I had to check it out. her episode on the Flight 571 crash in the Andes almost had me in tears; cannot recommend it enough.

[denimbex1986]

'In a world of locked rooms, the man with the key is King and honey, you should see me in a crown.'

"...I loved, loved, loved working with Benedict on that, and you know, the, the first series of that show went down so well - I only had a little bit to do in the first, first series, so I was excited to be focused on Moriarty in one of the episodes particularly because people loved the show almost immediately, and that line is an amazing line that - for an actor to say..."

'I'm in Wales, and I don't have to pretend to be something that I'm not.'

"...I always recommend Pride because I think it's just a beautiful film about how we're just so much more similar to each other than we think we are. And what was brilliant about that character, the character, was that he was one of I think 15 gay characters who are the lead characters, and it so it means you weren't just playing like a token gay because everybody was completely distinct from each other, even though they were all sort of relatively similar sexualities. He just shows that, you know, there's as much diversity within, within a sex - sexuality as there is for straight people too."

'I can't get used to calling myself queer, it was always such an insult.'

"...So much of it was, was personal, even though it was very different to me. I suppose it explored the idea of losing your parents, which at the time I hadn't - I lost my mother since - but I think that's the, the power of the sort of empathetic nature of art; that it allows us to explore things that otherwise we might be too frightened to explore. That film has helped me in a way because, since the film ended, I, I feel like there's stuff in it that I feel like I was able to exorcise in some ways..."

'Yeah, that's right, Dickie Greenleaf. It's nice to meet you too.'

"...He's a really solitary figure, and to be able to just work out what's going on inside his head, and whether he's sort of capable of love or whether, whether he isn't - I kind of believe that all human beings are in need of love in some way, but it was quite difficult in that sense to sort of access within, within him, because he was so solitary. So yeah, that's why I think he continues to fascinate people, Tom Ripley."

'You've always been against going to America.'

"Korea? Is it? That's my first film...I was 17 - first ever job; first ever film. It was lovely and there was a - an actor in it who played my father called Donald Donnelly, and he was an enormous influence on me. He was very well-known, but he was incredibly kind to everybody on the set, and I've always just - you know, you learn how to be by looking at your, you know, elders, and he was just lovely to everybody.

I remember very clearly on a Saturday afternoon watching like old MGM movies. You know, like those big things where there's, you know, lots of people doing synchronised swimming in a big pool from like, I mean like, old school, like, you know, choreography of Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. And there's something about that that I just absolutely adored, and I knew immediately - I knew, I really; I remember when I was about seven saying that I want - that's something that I wanted to do, which is weird when I think about it. I was very shy, and so that helped me kind of come out of my shell so - I was very nurtured by, by, uh, my mum in that sense; she, she pushed me in the right direction. That's what I remember um, uh, inspiring me, yeah."

[paperstorm]

Dancing with the stars just started a new season in my country, and we have our first same sex couple! Obviously, like everything else, I need to make it about Tarlos!

So Andie, in your opinion, in a DWTS Tarlos au, who’s the star and who’s the professional?

Ooooooooooh .... Carlos is the professional dancer, brought to you by the videos of Rafa dancing in his kitchen. Those hips. Carlos is definitely a professional dancer in that AU, multi-talented by specializing in Latin dances. TK is a former child actor from a 90s sitcom who is super on the fence about the whole thing but was pressured by his agent to go on the show because acting jobs are few and far between and he needs the money. He's resentful about it and then is even more resentful at being paired with Carlos because he doesn't want it to always have to be a big deal that he's gay, he wants people to just appreciate him for his talent and not make everything about tokenism. So he's a grump at first but then oops! Soulmates.