#his need for control is because hes losing control of his own life and lashes out to the easiest target

[sunsburns]

Luke Castellan losing virginity with the reader

can i kiss you?

let's push a loser!luke agenda pls pls pls guys pls see my vision he's a loser villain who just needs his dick sucked! [nsfw 17+]

the thought of luke castellan being a charming, skilled, intelligent, and mentor to most of the younger campers places him at the top of the food chain at half-blood. he’s practically the golden boy; the guy every girl wants and every boy wants to be. so, it sure does take you by surprise when he pauses at your kiss-swollen lips, brows furrowed in embarrassment as he whispers, “i haven’t… i’ve never gone this far before.”

you haven't done much. you've only palmed his crotch. he's hard to the touch, warm too.

your chest is pressed against his, luke's hands roam up and down the backs of your thighs as you sit on top of him, and he does it as if to soothe and steady himself, to have some kind of self-control while he kisses you. but at some point (maybe it's when you started running your fingers through his hair and tugged), he can't help the buck of his hips against your own.

when you dropped your hands from his hair and reached between the two of you, he pulled away, looking at you through his lashes, eyes lidded and lips parted to tell you a secret. the great luke castellan who has girls kissing the ground he walks on has never been touched before.

it makes you excited.

luke was a lot of your firsts; first love, first boyfriend. gods, he was even your first kiss years ago because of a silly dare from the aphrodite girls during a campfire night. but you never thought of yourself to be one of his firsts. you've always known luke was out of your league, so you've assumed he's far more experienced in the whole dating life and intimacy thing than you were.

but gods, were you wrong.

you could've stared at him all day, the glossy look in his eyes, and the shade of red that's started to grow on his cheeks after his admission.

"we can stop," you start to say. "we can just kiss."

suddenly the sun shining between the leaves of the trees starts to burn at your skin. you think there are peering eyes but there aren't. there can't be. you're too deep into the forest for anyone to find you and luke tucked away in a clearing of bushes filled with sweet berries.

when you move to get up, he holds onto your thighs tighter, stopping you. "no." you stare at him as his mouth opens and closes. he thinks hard about what he's about to say next. his voice drops when he tells you to stay. "please. don't stop."

you can feel a smile, well maybe more of a smirk, growing on your lips when you see the desperate look in his eyes. he pulls you closer, brushing his nose against the pulse on your neck before he licks and sucks at it.

he lets out a low, deep groan when you run your fingers through his hair again, tugging at the ends of it to pull him away. he's looking at you with those pretty doe, brown eyes.

"what do you want, luke?"

"you."

you laugh, it's soft and endearing. "yes, i know. i meant what do you want me to do for you?"

he doesn't know what to say. luke sputters. you raise your brows at this. how could it be that this is the same guy who's the best swordsman at him in the last, what, hundred years? he's melting into putty at your hands.

you lean closer and whisper in his ear, "do you want me to kiss you?"

he swallows, "yes."

"where?"

"anywhere."

you press a wet kiss by his jaw, "here?"

he doesn't say anything, only sighs.

"what about here?" you suck next to the skin by his adam's apple until there's a bruise. you can feel the vibrations in his throat against your lips when he groans again, a low, seductive sound that makes you nearly tremble in want.

you poke at his side, "can i go lower?"

luke nods. "yes."

"how low?" you're fucking with him now.

he rolls his eyes and stares at you, annoyed. but there's no true bite to his glare, not when you palm at his crotch again. he bucks his hips once more, chasing after your touch and your fingers fumble with the buttons of his shorts. "can i kiss you, luke?"

"fuck, yeah," he huffs, and he moves to meet your lips with his own. luke freezes though, when he watches you lean back, dodging his kiss.

"can i kiss you down here?" you correct yourself, palming him again. hopefully making your intentions more clear to him. you find a delight in watching him become so flustered so quickly.

he nods. once, twice, and then stutters out an eager yes. gently, you smooth the palm of your hand up and down his knee, then the skin of his thighs, not so different from how he caressed you earlier. you push his shirt up to his stomach and lean down to kiss his abs. you can feel him heave below you as you make your way lower.

your fingers trail over the hair on his skin, tracing the waistband of his boxers teasingly, and you can't help but giggle when his hips jerk up.

slowly, you pull down his underwear and take him into your hand. poor luke, he's so hard and so so warm; red and leaking and begging for some kind of attention.

he moans when you've only touched him. you lean closer, looking up at him as you press a kiss on the tip. then he whines, loud and long when you lick a long, wet stripe from the base of his cock to the throbbing head. naturally, his hands find a home in your hair. "shiiiiit."

"feels good?"

"so goo- gahhh-"

you barely give him a chance to answer as you're taking him into your mouth. he watches you take more and more of him, fingers curling into your hair. he whispers your name when you pump the rest of him with your hand.

you flatten your tongue and ease your throat to take him as far as you can. you're doing your best. it's not like you're a pro at this, you've only ever done this once before and that was in behind the bathrooms with some kid from ares' cabin. but the way luke moans above you, pulling your hair and calling your name, you like to think you're pretty good at this. you want to be if it means you'd hear luke whine and whimper like this more often.

"yeah, just... keep goin'"

and you do. you suck and swirl your tongue against him until there's a faint strain at your neck and he's struggling to keep his hips still so he doesn't buck into your throat. that's when you pull off him with a wet pop and your hand fists his length to keep the pace.

"use me," you gasp, trying to catch your breath. "want you to use me. i wanna make you feel good." luke's dick twitches in your hands, 'cause fuck, you're a sight to see.

you're sinking back down on him, doing that thing where you swirl your tongue against his head and now you're playing with his balls-

"fuck- fuck!" his hands pushing you down until your nose brushes against his pelves and you're gagging around him. he holds you there for a few seconds before pulling you back. and then he pushes you down again, and again. luke slowly grows confident, his hands push and pull to the point he's not nearly as gentle as he had been at first, increasing his speed while he finally finds the nerve to buck his hips into you again.

"you're so pretty like this, baby," he moans, brushing your hair out of your face. "yeah, yeah, so, fuck, you feel so good." his thumb on your cheek cleans the tears running down your cheek. "beautiful."

his abs start to flex and tremble when you hallow your cheeks at the head of his cock, your hand working the rest of him. "i'm- i'm..." he's stuttering again, "wait, baby, i'm gonna-"

when you hum against him, he comes into your mouth. moan sputter from his lips, along with hushed curses and whispers of your name. luke holds your face gently, pulling you up, up and up until your lips brush against his in a phantom kiss. you're smiling at him as he tries to blink away the haze from his eyes. "can i kiss you, luke?"

he huffs, "shut up." and he brings your mouth to his and kisses you hard.

[lisired]

the devil’s cup

pairing: demon!haechan x (f) reader

genre/warnings: smut, oral (f receiving), demons/underworld, mentions of death and self-destruction, unprotected sex/breeding (don’t be silly, wrap your willy!), edging, very slight degradation

summary: In a world where humans and demons are separated by earth and the unknown, you’re curious about the creatures that most mortal beings are too frightened to investigate. More specifically if they can please you sexually. As they say, curiosity killed the cat.

wc: 6.8k (this is the shortest fic I’ve done in a minute)

a/n: quick (and short) write! as always, feedback is appreciated!

There was a bit of division between the upper and underworld. 

That said, that never prevented the interaction of humans and infernal spirits. It only limited them, though even with said inhibitions in place, forbidding could only go so far within mortal control. 

Not everyone was god-fearing. Least of all demons. 

Though you weren’t exactly fearless, you were curious to a fault. Human knowledge of the underworld was limited. You lived in a world where plenty of supernatural beings - werewolves, faes, vampires and the like - coexisted in an integrated society, but demons lived in an unexplored world of their own.

Which, obviously, was the underworld. 

The church insisted it was for your own sake. You had practically never mentioned your intrigue to anyone, though that was chiefly because you were terrified to. The pastors were passionate in their sermons, deeming anyone who played with the devil a sinner beyond redemption and a betrayer of faith. You knew you’d be thrown scornful glances in an instant. 

You weren’t the only curious one. There were plenty groups of people who conjectured about the underworld and its occupants. Which was not an option for you for many reasons. First of all, they teetered on extremism. Second, you would undoubtedly be banished from society for so much as breathing near them. 

Your only option was your friend. Who happened to be supernatural himself. 

Ten laughed. “Let me get this straight. You want to fuck around with the devil?” 

You frowned. Though you definitely preferred the ridicule over the comtempt. He, however, wasn’t exactly in the place to mock you. “Come on, Ten. Didn’t you call on a succubus?” 

“Correction - you want to fuck the devil.” 

“Ten,” you whined. 

Ten shook his head. This was hilarious, because you were completely serious. It was also somewhat worrying. Most humans that had toyed with the devil for too long never survived. “Babe, I’m a vampire. Have been for sixty-two years. I’m technically in my eighties. You, sweetheart, are a human. Incubi can kill mortals like you.”

No wonder he tended to act like a cranky grandpa. You folded your arms stubbornly. 

The truth was that you were searching for a way to spice up your sex life and strangely enough, a demon sounded like exactly what you needed. You were desperate at this point. The men earth had provided for you were useless. You could count on both hands how many times you had given them a try and were ultimately unsatisfied. You were out of options. 

“One time won’t hurt, right?” you asked, batting your lashes. “Please, Ten. I just want to try. I can only die if I do it continuously.” 

Ten blew out a sigh. “Woman, you’re insane.” 

You whined, “Pretty please? I’ll literally buy you those Starbucks drinks you like everyday for a month. I need this.”

Ten mulled the offer over. On one hand, this was not only dangerous, but deadly. There was a chance that he could risk losing you in the process. But on the other, you were a responsible adult woman. It wasn’t like you would be selling your soul. You’d simply be testing the waters. “Fine. I’ll help you, but you better only do this shit once. I’ve had to bury a friend before. I don’t wanna go through that hell again.”

You lept up excitedly and cheered, “Thank you, thank you, thank you! I love you so much.”

“Whatever,” Ten said, rolling his eyes. “I’ll be back later with the stuff. And I’m taking it back after tonight.” 

Frankly, you couldn’t care less. You knew your best friend was only trying to protect you, and you genuinely didn’t intend on disobeying. You were curious, not stupid. Nor did you have a death wish. 

Ten reappeared later that night with the materials necessary to summon a demon. Technically, you could have done it without them, but that would’ve been a much more ineffective, chance-based approach. It also most likely would have taken way longer. According to Ten, the board had a ninety-percent success rate. 

He had told you, “Unless you’re like, extremely unfuckable, it’ll work for sure.”

You snorted. 

That was how you met Haechan. 

Black smoke rose from the ground, wavering murkily with a ghastly noise until it dwindled fainter and fainter. You took a step or two back, holding your breath with curious fear as you waited for the mist to clear. 

Once it did, the handsomest man you had ever seen materialized before you.

You audibly gasped. Frankly, you weren’t sure what you were expecting, but it wasn’t this. His dark hair was slicked back, forehead exposed to the breeze that temporarily coursed through your home, and he was tan-skinned. Like the heat of hell had graced his body. 

His pretty lips curled into the utmost smuggest grin. “Aren’t I lucky? I could feel that you would be gorgeous.” 

“You could feel it?” you repeated dumbly. In your defense, you were stunned. 

The average idea of a demon was a grotesque blood-hungry monster and needless to say, this nameless boy didn’t fit the bill. Part of you was half certain that Ten was pranking you, firm in his decision that it was foolish for a human to engage with a demon. He seemed like a regular, everyday being. Except maybe not. Most men weren’t this beautiful. And his presence was inexplicably strong.

Haechan scoffed, “Yeah? How else do you think I got here? I could feel your energy. It was calling me.” 

The room reeled. The air felt different, thicker. Your body lighter. There was an air of danger to this boy with a trace of something else that you were equally drawn to. 

Energy. Was it possible that you could feel his energy too? 

Given you were in a state of mental narcosis, more or less the effect of his aura, Haechan gleaned you wouldn’t respond and instead approached you. It felt like you were jolted awake when his warm skin pressed to yours, his lips and breath ticking your neck. 

“Haechan,” the demon whispered, but it felt like the thrumming of the wind. “That’s the name I want you to say tonight.”

Heat wafted over you. You nodded, because you couldn’t say another word. As if an invisible hand was clasped around your throat. 

Haechan coiled an arm around your waist, forcing your back flush against his chest. “Tell me what you want,” he purred. Your thighs were bare and he snagged the opportunity to grope them, free hand leisurely rising higher. For now, they landed squarely at your ass. “So I can help you.”

You swallowed hard. Part of you was afraid, but the other was enticed by the danger. It always had been. Your voice lacked complete confidence. “I… wanted something new. The men here aren’t adequate. I needed something else.” 

“Oh?” Haechan cocked a brow and snickered. “Don’t worry about that tonight, baby. I’ll make you forget about everyone except me.” 

For a while, you had been at war with yourself, dithering between your options. But Haechan had tempted you. Whatever fight you had abandoned you as he brought you to your bed. 

Every alarm in your body was ringing, sirening to you that danger was near at hand, but the soft lulling of his voice abated your panic. The horns were blown, but you were too far gone to hear them. 

Haechan lay you at your backside and you swayed like a leaf, throat parched dry when you glimpsed into his eyes. They were red with lust, dark as blood. “Don’t look so scared,” he reproached, but it was of little substance given the smidgen of a smirk you’d seen on his lips. 

You were still tongue tied and at a loss for breath, never mind words. 

Haechan’s touch wasn’t gentle in the slightest as he came to tear your clothes away, shredding them layer by layer. His fingers skimmed against your body and your skin scorched where he touched you. 

Admittedly, it was somewhat true that you were frightened, but this was exactly what you needed to fill the empty chasm of excitement in your sex life. Between thrill and fear, the feeling that coursed through your veins was indistinguishable. 

You had cycled through mortals and been left unimpressed each time. There was bad, and then there was decent. You wanted neither. You wanted someone to go above and beyond. They tended to do only enough to barely get you there. If even. You’d seen it all; you wanted mind-blowing.

You shivered at the cool sensation of the air against naked skin, but it was immediately negated by Haechan’s body heat. Still, it wasn’t enough. You whimpered, “Touch me.” 

“Eager, aren’t we?” Haechan snickered. “Say please.”

You didn’t hesitate. “Please. I need you to touch me.” 

Satisfied, Haechan snatched your panties with a final tear and skirted a hand between your thighs. They were already open and parted, welcoming him keenly. 

It was only when you felt his slender fingers scissoring between your thighs did you notice how wet you were. The thought alone had been arousing. The sight of him even more. It was the weaving of those individual factors that had you gathering in his palms like water. 

Haechan shook his head with mirth. “Something tells me that you don’t get wet like this too often. Do you, baby?”

The answer to that was so embarrassingly obvious that you wanted to shrink until nothing remained of you. Your cheeks stung. “No. Not really.” The more you thought about it, you couldn’t remember the last time you had been so aroused. 

If ever. 

“Aren’t you a little sinner,” Haechan said and chuckled to himself. Needless to say, he was amused. A pretty girl like you that could most likely have any guy she wanted calling on a demon because the men on earth can’t satisfy her? He was delighted. And almost humiliated on their behalf.

Like the cruel demon he was, he added, “It’s a little pathetic, don’t you think? Getting wet for me when you could easily find a human to fuck.” 

You whined, but ironically pulsed around his fingers. Those words were as true as they were humiliating. His fingers coaxed into you with a loud, wet squelch. 

Haechan eyed you with the intensity of a ravening werewolf. The likes of you were familiar - pretty girls that were too curious for their own good and went looking into entities where they had no business for pleasure. Never would you be the first or last, though regardless he had a job that he was more than glad to fulfill. 

Pleasure played out on your face. That said, you wanted more. You had always considered that maybe you were the problem. Maybe you were the one at fault because you were too greedy, too insatiable. Enough was a word of little subtance to you. 

But you noticed a sort of stark divergence here. With your previous conquests, you were unsatisfied because they took pleasuring you as if it were drudgery. This was more or less a job for Haechan, yet in spite of that, he seemed enlivened. 

Boys came a dime a dozen. Pleasure like this? It was a luxury far beyond your worth. 

“Fuck me,” you whispered. You were even willing to beg, if that was what it took. 

“Mm, no. Not yet,” Haechan said, having a good chuckle at the look of incredulity on your face at your expense. 

Never had you ever been turned down. It was always you that turned people away. Men that were bound to be disappointments in the sack lined up for you. They never hesitated to take advantage of your desperation. 

Haechan curled his fingers, sending every wall of the room reeling. Your pupils dilated when he leaned in, firmly holding your jaw to make you meet his stare. “Human boys don't build you up, do they? They just take what they want and leave. I'm going to take my time with you, baby.”

You doubted anyone had ever uttered anything like that to you before. 

His grip slackened. Not many words needed to be exchanged, the two of you content with the sounds of your soft moans and wet cunt filling the air. 

The glimmer of mischief on Haechan’s face turned pensive. “Can’t decide how I want to fuck you. What about you, pretty thing - how do you want to be fucked?”

You felt your cheeks warm in response to his question, though you had a contemplative answer. Any additional eye contact would have landed you in an early grave, but you wanted him to take control. Too many times had you had to take the lead because you chased your own pleasure. You were in dire need of relaxation. 

And if you were being honest, you'd let him have you any which way. 

“From behind,” you replied, clinging to the pretense of indifference. 

The mischief returned at the speed of light and Haechan taunted, “Scared to look me in the eyes?” 

You blurted, “Can you read my mind?”

“Yes.”

Every functioning gear within you halted and your body slammed on the brakes. Made worse by the serious look on his face. 

Then, Haechan erupted with laughter. “Sike.” You were relieved, though not amused. “I’m just fucking with you. I’m not psychic.” 

As if to apologize for the massive scare he’d only just now given you, Haechan swept in and pressed a brief yet unnaturally hypnotic kiss to your lips.

You felt like you could die at any given moment, but strangely enough, you liked it. 

It was game over when he interposed another finger between your walls, tall and slender. You were plagued by so many emotions all at once that you hardly realized how close you'd gotten in no time at all. Time expedited, but the minutes ticked slower.

You grabbed Haechan’s wrist, fighting for control of his movements, though not that he needed much guidance. It was an act of bad habit, you supposed, but Haechan smirked and let you do as you pleased. For now. 

“Haechan,” you whimpered, reminded of the name you were instructed to say. 

The man in question eyed you with a lustful awe. It was the first time you’d said his name and brother, was it a delightful noise. He hummed, “Close?”

You bobbed your head. No words needed to be said. The way your entire body responded to his touch as if it was owned by him was enough of an indication. 

In a mere instant, you felt empty and desolate, warmth fading into crisp ice without warning. You whimpered, turning to look at the culprit, but met with only a smug smile. 

No way in hell had this demon just edged you. 

Haechan beat you to a word and explained, “I want you to cum on my dick. Is that alright, princess?”

“Please, hurry,” was your desperate response. You had no protest. You simply needed to feel him as soon as possible. 

Haechan had a nice laugh at the sight of you trying to find his hands anew and fuck yourself against them, but retrieved them, bringing his fingers that were coated in your slick to his mouth and sucking them clean. Ironically, you tasted like heaven. 

You moaned when Haechan kissed you, his saliva palliative to the ache of the wait and wanting. It took your mind off of the throbbing between your sensitive thighs while he shredded what remained of his clothes. You were so wrapped in his dark magic, a pawn in his devilish game, but you didn’t care. He could destroy you until you were no longer flesh and bones and you'd say, “Thank you.” 

Haechan was ready with burning lust and he growled, “Hands and knees.” 

You didn’t hesitate to scramble into position, as if he'd punish you for wasting a second of time. Every voice in your mind was subdued and you only listened to the thudding sound of your racing pulse. It screamed even louder the closer Haechan’s body came into yours. 

A gasp tore out of you the moment you noticed his cock stretching you open, ceasing the long wait. It was accompanied by another hushed growl, Haechan’s hands finding purchase at your hips. He filled you nice and slow, the pace so agonizing that you were tempted to believe he was testing you for the sake of toying with you. 

“Don’t tease. Please,” you begged. “I want you to fuck me - hard.” 

Haechan cocked a brow, but made no protest. “Whatever my pretty girl wants.” 

You fought for breath when every inch was encased between your warm and wet walls, pulsing around his thick cock. Haechan penetrated you with a hiss at how you swathed around him so tightly. 

Your body came alive at the touch of the undead, responding to his body with voracity. Haechan had no intention of restraining himself, ramming his hips into yours vigorously. He set a brutal pace, enough to sate you and your unnatural urges. For now. Your flesh scorched with fever, broiling under his fingertips yet craving more of him, more of the singe. You were indescribably elated. 

Haechan seized you to a bruising extent and braced his teeth into your shoulder, effectively smothering a noise. You let out a cry of pain and pleasure, warped together to create some inexplicable sensation.

“So goddamn tight,” Haechan hissed, giving your ass a smack or three. Every thwack sent you clamping even tighter. “You like it rough?”

Between a thread of moans, you whimpered, “Yes.” But the way he drove his cock into you - hurried and ruthless - bundled your head into the mattress, your cries smothered by the pillows.

Haechan latched onto your hair, letting out a hollow, breathy laugh when you moaned. You were so eager to take him, never shying away from his actions.  

It was paranormal, like nothing you had ever felt before. You'd yet to discern the invisible shroud of mist that billowed in the air, the spine-chilling gale that swept over you and chaperoned his presence, but you loved it. It kept you on your toes and made you hold your breath. Something to this extent felt forbidden, like you were getting a taste of pleasure beyond human capacity. It was an ethereal and otherworldly type of pleasure.

You felt so light that you could topple over from one breath. 

Haechan’s eyes lingered on the way your whole body tremored at the impact of his thrusts, your ass meeting his cock with a slap and your breasts bouncing underneath you. Your body was gradually beginning to be coated in bruises and scratches, remnants of him that would linger even after he was long gone. 

You loved that he was rough, loved that he fucked you like there was no tomorrow without overdoing it. He only had one night to give you the best dick of your life and was successful so near in. 

Many had tried, but many had failed to fuck you like this. You knew you would be sad to see him go. 

“Oh my god,” you cried, your voice given an outfall for speech courtesy of the way Haechan lifted your head by your hair. You were melting into abyss. 

Haechan tugged at it a little rougher and demanded, “Tell me you love this.” 

“I love it. I love it so much,” you babbled. Your thoughts were revoked. Your body was on fire. You knew one thing and it was the feeling that lit you off and riled you up. 

The demon boy smiled. He wasn’t psychic, but he knew how you felt without saying. It was in how your body responsed to his, submitting to his every move. Your body betrayed you, presenting all of your emotions on a silver platter. 

Haechan discerned you were near your climax and leaned closer, teeth grazing over your shoulder when he growled, “You’re close.”

It wasn’t a question; you were close. That much was obvious. You could only bob your head, blabbering more hardly coherent sentences that he found amusing. 

You fisted the pillows and sheets for dear life, clinging to whatever you possibly could to anchor yourself. You felt like you had been put together solely to be destroyed afresh. As if his intention was to shatter you piece by piece. 

In that case, he was doing a damn good job. 

If possible, Haechan’s pace became even more merciless. “Let go,” he coaxed surprisingly gently, strumming you to climax with his fingers at your clit. Your body one-hundred percent intended to obey him, unable to defy its urges. 

You screamed with orgasm, burying your face into the pillows to smother your cries of pleasure. Tears welled in your eyes, rivulets trickling down your cheeks. Your body felt whole and empty all at once, overcome by an overwhelming sense of relief. Even after you came, you were still pulsing around his cock, eager to get him there. 

“Cum,” you begged, still waiting for him. “Please?” 

The desperacy in your voice practically finished Haechan then and there, and he grunted, “Fuck.” There was no way he could tell a pretty thing like you, “No.” 

Haechan found a bruising grip on your ass to anchor himself and his cock twitched with release inside you, his mouth parting with a series of moans and growls. You whimpered when he filled you, painting your walls with warm cum. Only then did your spent body slacken, collapsing exhaustedly against the sheets. 

Haechan flipped you on your back and kissed the corner of your lips. There was something abnormally soporific about the way he tasted, because your eyelids began to weigh more than your body altogether. 

“That’s it, baby. Go to sleep,” Haechan whispered, lulling you to sleep with his gentle voice. 

There was nothing to fight. Your body lost all strength when you climaxed, and you succumbed to sleep in a matter of mere seconds.

“Atta girl,” was the last thing you heard before pitch black darkness bled into your vision. 

When you roused from your sheets in the morning, Haechan was - as expected - no longer there, but traces of last night remained. Your bed was a mess, but you were in shambles, hair tangled on your bed and your body stained with tears, scratches and bruises.

Humorously, though somewhat questionably, only none of his semen was there. You wondered if demons could get humans pregnant. 

You were elated, but somewhat disappointed. From the beginning, you were aware that you couldn’t see him again, but after last night, you were desperate. There was no way in hell he could show you a good time to simply never see you again. It was unfair. 

The sound of your front door being pounded mercilessly startled you and you jumped out of bed, scrambling to cover your bare body and then rushed to the door.

When you opened the front door, Ten awaited you on the other side.

“You look like hell,” commented Ten offhandedly. You were always in wonder at how vampires could roam in the daylight, but allegedly, it was courtesy of potions and spell work. 

“I had a long night,” you deadpanned. 

Ten chortled and stepped inside. “I’m sure.”

You shut the door behind the pair of you and led him to your bedroom where your sheets were a disheveled mess on your bed. Last night had left the board on the floor to be forgotten. 

Disinterestedly, you plopped on your bed. There was a question billowing like fog in your brain and you feigned your most indifferent tone when you asked, “Will he want to come back?”

Ten thought nothing of your question and shrugged, leaning over to pick up the materials you'd abandoned. “Depends. Demons know these… arrangements get messy. Some care, some like messy. It's not rare. Just in case, I’ll have a witch friend of mine fix a spell to ward evil spirits off.”

“Oh,” you replied, playing innocent. But that wasn’t what you wanted. You dwelled over last night and the thought of Haechan coming back for seconds. You weren’t special, that you knew. Demons of his kind has a nonselect variety to choose from, but you knew only he could pleasure you like that again. 

Like he was catching on, Ten added, “It’s not a good idea to give him a chance to get attached. Some demons are bitter and possessive. The moment they want you to be theirs, they’ll hurt you and anyone else who gets in their way in response to a perceived betrayal.”

His warning spooked you, but not by much. You assured Ten that you understood and would leave that night behind you. After all, with all the measures taken, it was out of your hands. 

One night became several. 

In your defense, you weren’t the one that summoned him. It was because of your energy. He always claimed he could feel you. You frequently laid brooding in your home, yearning for him to return. 

And then, he appeared. You knew when Haechan was there and when he wasn't. It was his presence. You could feel it in your chest. You couldn’t explain it, but whenever he was in range, a gust of cool air would sweep over your shoulders and a thick gale would strike your lungs, rendering you breathless. 

Haechan materialized in that same shroud of mist, snickering to himself when your startled figure trembled. 

You gawked when you saw him in full glory. “How the hell…” 

“Your friend isn’t the only one who knows a sorcerer,” Haechan grinned smugly. “I felt your yearning - did you miss me?” 

Oh, did you. You had spent the past couple of weeks trying to get yourself off the way that he had, but to no avail. There was only one remedy for you and you were forbidden to have him. 

“A little,” you admitted. Though you had a feeling he could see right through you, it was a lot easier to say compared to admitting you thought of how his hands felt on your body every time you touched yourself. 

“I think you missed me a lot,” Haechan teased, stepping closer. Meanwhile, you were riveted in place, unable to move. You gasped when his hands browsed up your dress, targeting your damp panties. “Are you saying this isn’t for me?” 

You tensed and whined, “Haechan.”

Haechan gave you a smile, the same devilish one he always wore. He slipped your panties to the side and brushed his slender fingers against your dampening cunt. “Tell me you missed me.” 

“I missed you. I missed you a lot,” you confessed without hesitation. “I… I’ve been thinking about you all day.” 

He cocked a brow and crammed a pair of fingers inside you. “Yeah? You been thinking about me fucking that tight little pussy?”

Your knees were bucking. You needed him more than you’d ever needed anything before in your life. “Please,” you cried. “Please, please…” 

The demon silenced you with a kiss that made you feel so light, you almost tipped over. He caught you in his arms and carried you to your bedroom. 

When you were finished, Haechan fell heaving at your side and groaned, “You’re always so goddamn tight.”

You giggled. “You love me.” 

Like you had said some forbidden word, Haechan switched on a dime and gave you a fair warning. “That’s the snag, baby girl. I can’t love you.”

That you knew, but it stung to hear aloud. You were by no means in love with the demon you'd only fucked on two occasions, but hell, he seemed like the best option. There was a bit of venom in your tone when you responded, “But you fuck me.”

“Yes. Because that’s what I do. I have sex with you needy little humans and drain you to death of your energy. Then the next one comes along and the cycle repeats. I can’t love you because you’re going to die some day, babe. Even sooner the longer you mess around with me.” 

You blinked. He was a hell of a lot more forthright than you expected. Haechan was going to fuck you within an inch of your life. Literally. 

That was how the cycle began. Haechan informed you of a simpler way to summon him and he began to visit you more often, stealing your nights away. You never mentioned him to anyone. If Haechan didn’t kill you in time, Ten would undoubtedly burn you alive. 

You loved spending nights with Haechan, and over time, those moments together bled into days and mornings. More often than not, you would talk the day away, discussing everything under the sun and moon. 

Six years ago. Those events culminated in this later two-part dilemma you’d brought upon yourself. 

Weeks turned into months. You were growing weaker. The venom was slowly killing you, contaminating your blood far beyond human reclaim. 

Additionally, everything the two of you had said about loving each other had gone terribly south. The more you got to know Haechan, the deeper you fell. And watching you fall drastically ill under his influence tore an unfamiliar feeling from his cold heart - fear. Losing you cooled his already icy blood. 

Haechan heaved a breath, trying to remain calm. The two of you knew that this would happened, but goddamn, he would have never predicted that he of all people would fall in love. It was almost laughable. “I can immortalize you, but there’s a catch.”

You eyed him expectantly. “Like what?” 

“You’ll watch the people you love die,” Haechan said morosely. “Your entire life will fade with your mortality.”

You frowned. That was a given, but you loathed the thought of that day. No matter how far in the future it may have been. There were always immortal beings to befriend at your disposal, but the current mortal ones - your family - would pass on without you. 

But even more, you loathed the thought of them having to bury you. You would take the pain in sacrifice if it meant they never had to feel the empty ache of lost. 

“Okay.” 

Haechan shot you a look. “Okay, as in what?” 

With shaky hands, you blew out a breath and told him, “I’ll do it.” 

Haechan interlaced your fingers between his and pulled you close. The last thing he wanted was to lose you, but he also wanted you to do this completely out of your own free will. “Are you sure? This isn’t some reversible shit. No take backs.” 

“I would rather bury my family than have them bury me,” you whispered fiercely. It was all you had the strength to do. “I made this mess, now I have to fix it. I can’t let them be miserable over a stupid mistake I made. I won’t.” 

Instead of recoiling from your slight outburst, Haechan held you even firmer. It was a sensitive spot for the both of you. There were available alternatives, none long-term. This was by far your safest option. 

Death was not an option. 

“If this is what you want,” Haechan said, like he was giving you one final chance to reconsider your choices. But you were firm in your decision. This was the price that you had to pay. “Everything will be okay. Baby, I swear.” 

God, you wanted to believe him with everything you had, but you were terrified. For as long as you'd known him, Haechan had always been more calm and self-controlled than you ever were, but even now you could see cracks in his demeanor. He wanted to be strong for the both of you, knowing you would shatter the moment he did, but this had him rending at threat of rupture. 

Haechan lowered himself to your height to be eye-level with you and asked, “Can you get dressed?” 

You bobbed your head. You weren’t completely deprived of your vigor. Not yet, although you had been passing through the days on preservation potions and the like. They could sustain you temporarily, but not for very long. 

The demon boy you loved brought you to a secluded area in the woods, timing your errand perfectly. Before dusk was preferable. Evil creatures lurked in the wilderness, preying on vulnerable humans like you. Not all were fond of humans and vice versa.

And you were already ailing. 

There was a tiny cabin across a river, lying at its bank. According to Haechan, it was home of a wizard. 

“Your friend’s a wizard?” you had asked. 

Haechan nodded. “Basically. But Mark prefers being called a warlock. Apparently, wizard is an offensive term that’s only used in fairytales. I still call him Wiz, though.”

You gave him a tiny nod. Many if not most magical beings lived in areas isolated from humanity. There was long, unaccounted for history between the two races and you couldn’t blame them for any resentment. 

But it also presented the fair chance that he wouldn’t want to help you. 

Haechan opened the door to the cabin and you treaded behind him like he was safeguarding you. There was a man behind a cauldron that billowed with green smoke. 

You took a glance around. The cabin was dim, sunlight filtering through the blinds of a single window upstairs. Candles and lanterns burned, scattered elsewhere. The warlock spared you not a glance, engrossed in his brewing, though you noticed a crystal ball on the table, reflecting a perfect view that overlooked the bridge. 

It most likely had warned him someone was approaching. 

Haechan put on his cheesiest smile and greeted, “Sup, Wiz. Been working out lately?” 

Mark slammed on the brakes and bristled. “Hell no. Whatever you want - the answer is no.”

Your demon boyfriend frowned, walking beside his friend to give a slight nudge to his side. “C’mon, bestie. I didn’t even ask for anything.”

Mark didn’t waste a second. “I know. And every time you compliment me, it’s only because you want something.” Then, the warlock shifted his gaze and seemed to finally notice you. “Who’s the chick - new piece?” 

Haechan rubbed his neck. “Yeah, about that…”

“Haechan, hell the fuck no,” Mark interjected as soon as he put the pieces together. “You know you have to talk to Johnny about that.” 

“See, that’s the thing. Johnny will kill me. And I’m technically already dead,” Haechan joked, trying to ease the mood. 

You swallowed like you could gorge all of your burdens with one gulp. Part of you was ready to accept that death was inevitable and tinkering with your fate was deadly. As a spirit from the underworld, maybe you could meet the boy you loved again, but you’d fade into a distant memory to everyone else you loved. 

Mark removed his spectacles and massaged his temple before he sighed. “Do you love her?” 

“Yes.” It was instant. He didn’t even need to consider it. That made you smile. 

“Like, for real?” Mark pressed. Like he was in disbelief. “I can’t waste time and casting energy on a pretty girl you just want to keep around for a little longer.”

Patience slowly dimming, Haechan snapped, “When have I ever cared if they lived or died, Mark?” 

You came to clutch his arm, and Haechan softened, switching on a dime. Much to Mark’s surprise. Even he couldn’t deny that you seemed to have an effect on Haechan - a grip that no else had. 

Haechan took a deep breath. “Look, my bad. But she’s special. I don’t know how it happened, it just did. And it would be easier to do a cord-cutting spell and toss her away, but I don’t want that. I want her.” 

A strained moment of silence passed before Mark finally groaned, “Fine.”

“So?”

“So, I’ll do the spell,” Mark said stubbornly. 

It felt like a weight was lifted from your chest and you could breathe easier when those words left his mouth. You watched Haechan’s face twist with relief, and he whirled you into his arms, hauling you with a supernatural strength that made you squeal and giggle. “Fuck. I forgot you’re not yourself,” he said and placed you back on the ground. 

You shook your head and smiled. Then, Haechan turned back to Mark with open arms and smirked. “Come here.”

Mark grimaced. “Absolutely not. I’m warning you. Come any closer and I’ll get Phantom.”

“Phantom?” you repeated, blinking. 

Mark whistled, and suddenly you heard a low caw fill the air. Then, you saw a creature fly from the single window at the speed of light and finally come to a rest at Mark’s shoulder. 

It was a raven. 

“My familiar,” Mark explained proudly. “Every warlock - and witchtress - has one.” 

Ignoring the way the raven - Phantom - was staring down your soul, you gave a quick nod and asked, “So, we’re really okay?”

“Yes. I’ll work on a spell for you as soon as possible,” Mark replied.

Haechan smiled and swept you into a kiss, then Phantom immediately began to caw as if she was trying to wake the dead. 

Haechan snickered and put his arms between you both. She was very prone to attacking. “Ladies, ladies. No need to fight. There’s enough Haechan to go around.” 

You snorted and rolled your eyes. But you were happy. You still had Haechan, and you always would. Nothing would come between you. Death or Phantom. 

Five years ago. 

Now, you were alive and well. And not only you, but someone else. 

After hours on your feet, you had never been more relieved to sit down. Ten eventually came to accompany you, having a good laugh at the weariness prominent on your face at your expense. 

“Tired?” he asked. 

“Try exhausted. I’m ready to drop,” you drawled. 

Ten laughed, then shook his head and smiled faintly. “Tell me how it’s been exactly four years and I still can’t believe I’m a godfather?” 

“Please,” you chortled. “They’re growing up so fast. I can’t keep up.” 

You had discovered the answer to a previous thought. Demons could get humans pregnant. As it turned out, you also had to confess to Ten that you’d been sleeping with Haechan for longer than he'd thought. After all, the evidence had been growing in your belly for nine months. 

Not one child, but two. 

Ten gave you a tiny nudge. “Haechan really did a number on you.” 

Through the corner of your eye, you could see him approaching and joked, “Speak of the devil.”

Haechan plopped down beside you, head in your lap, and said, “I’ve never had to work for anything in my life before those two.” 

You and Ten giggled. “Get off me, you big baby,” you said lightheartedly. “Who has them?” 

“Your mother,” Haechan replied, not budging like a boulder. 

Or so he thought. You were both caught off guard when your two four-year-old twins eagerly came running after you, refusing to give their mommy and daddy a break. 

Ten came to the rescue and leapt up, exclaiming, “Who wants cake?” 

As expected, your two tiny twins turned around as soon as they came, shouting, “Me!” Gratefully, you mouthed, “thank you” to Ten, who led the little army away to dessert. 

Haechan climbed into the seat beside you, and said, “We made this.”

“We did,” you replied, beaming. “And I love every part of it. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

“Me neither,” Haechan said, pressing a kiss to your lips. Now that the coast was clear, a mischievous smile crept onto his lips. “So, I was thinking that once we put the kids to bed, we could have our own little party upstairs.”

God, that sounded like heaven to you right now. “Say no more.”

Haechan snickered and lifted you into his lap. You rested your head against his lap comfortably. “I love you,” he whispered. 

“I love you, too,” you said, a smile tugging your lips.

Those three words summed up everything. There was so much you wanted to say. You wanted to tell him that you always wanted a family with him, that you wouldn’t have it any other way. That you knew in your heart that this was the way it was meant to be. But you settled for, I love you. And you settled because he already knew. 

“As much as we fuck, we should have expected twins.” 

Those words snapped you out of your train of thoughts and you stood to your feet. “Save it. We have a birthday party to celebrate.”

Haechan followed you, wrapping his arm around your waist. “Yes, ma’am. Mind if we go hit the dance floor in celebration?”

“Not at all,” you told him. 

And it was easily the most magical moment of your life being twirled around in Haechan’s arms, the rest of your little family soon coming to join you both.

[satubby]

◇Yandere Concept◇

•○ 《Ryu Shi-Oh》 ○•

『This is just my own concept but not the general and true view of the character as a yandere, although canonically he may or may not present these... behaviors』

〔Warning ⚠️: This may or may not contain Spoilers for the show in question, please do not read it if you have not yet seen the mentioned K-Drama. In addition, somewhat sensitive topics such as child abuse, drugs, mentions of sex and among others will be included.〕 Postscript: There may or may not be spelling errors, misplaced character pronouns (I'm dyslexic) so I'm sorry for the inconvenience because this was written at night and I was sleepy, and I'm not a fan of English, so this might be bad.

A puppet of the Russian mafia, Ryu Shi-oh is ruthless and unscrupulous. Depending on how you have met him, he will treat you differently. He would most like a Darling who is as lively, positive and almost like the protagonist of the K-drama where he comes from.

》☆ Obsession:

Ryu Shi-oh will take quite a while to trust you, since he has the police and other enemies after his head. However, if you're the gentle type (if you go all in with this yandere, it would be best for both of you), he'll see you as his emotional refuge, the only source of light in his dark life, though that doesn't mean it won't take a little effort for him to be open to you. Despite his yandere tendencies, he feels a desperate need to protect that vulnerable part of himself by sometimes seeming distant (or perhaps he is at first).

Once he is aware of his feelings for you, then things will change (not much but at least he won't always be on guard with you). You will see him as shy, loving (in his own strange way). Of course, he will be somewhat slow in his feelings but VERY loyal once he is sure of them.

》☆ Obsessive Control:

Russian mafia upbringing has instilled in him either consciously or unconsciously, a need for absolute control and even to the point of violence. Ryu Shi-o monitors every move you make (that's only in his facet of having just met you), from his daily interactions to his friendships. Since if it's at the beginning of getting to know you, he wants to make sure there are no betrayals or double-crosses on your part.

On the other hand, if you've known each other for a while, then his vigilance will be more about getting to know you in depth since he is somewhat clumsy in interactions (other than about his work or murder). He will know everything about you, even things you may not even remember. What kind of flowers you like, X item you've been lusting after and so on.

》☆ Dark Gifts:

To express his love, Ryu Shi-oh tends to give you expensive and luxurious things (When he is getting to know you they are more like decoys) But then he gives you things that you might like, as I mentioned in the previous post, but often these carry a hint of double interactions (He stressed, Ryu Shi-oh doesn't trust people much, he has traumas.... Someone get this man some therapy for god's sake!!!).

》☆ Intense Jealousy:

The thought of losing you arouses a fierce rage in Ryu Shi-o. He can become possessive and jealous, going to extreme lengths to keep you tied to his side. His traumatic past contributes to his constant fear of being abandoned or betrayed, he horribly hates lies (This is Canon by the way, he said so himself).

Since he grew up in a precarious and horrible environment, his concepts of love are null to say the least.... he doesn't know anything about the real meaning beyond what is written in books or Google. So when his jealousy is present, he usually lashes out in anger because he doesn't understand or know how to handle his emotions well, that's why he is always stoic and avoids emotional contact with others.

He thinks at the beginning that these emotions are a weakness (because of his upbringing obviously) so you will understand his attitudes and actions at the beginning.

Back to the scenario (depending on whether you work for him or otherwise were Nam Soon's sister, so to speak). However it was, before and after he met you until he gained your trust, his jealousy is powerful and terrifying.

For example, if you deny him or are somewhat alien to his feelings (ahem! Nam soon) then Ryu Shi-oh may or may not threaten those you hold dear or end up killing the subject of his jealousy if provoked enough.

He may or may not send you videos of it, who knows, he's a fucking mafia-bred man.

》☆ Demonstrations of Power:

As CEO of Doogu, Ryu Shi-oh uses his influence and resources to protect you from his enemies, though also to investigate you, but often does so ruthlessly. He uses his position to eliminate any perceived threat (whether real or not, as in the case of being jealous), regardless of the consequences.

When it comes to, for example, demonstrating how happy you could be (excluding that he is a mobster and has a front business for the real thing, drugs) he can afford a whole restaurant for just the two of you or go on trips when he is not busy.

Also when it comes to dealing with you, depending on whether or not you agree to go out with him, he will use his resources. Either way you will end up with him (if you don't want innocent people hurt).

》☆ Hidden Insecurities:

Despite his confident facade, Ryu Shi-o harbors deep insecurities. Fearful that the reader will discover his dark side, he struggles not to show his vulnerability. This can manifest in moments of emotional self-isolation. More common when they are getting to know each other, refusing to accept their emotions more as a passing interest.

When he already falls for you, he refuses to see you leave him for someone else (Or when you don't want more than a friendship) He clings to the feeling you give him or your kindness/courtesy. He has never felt the comfort you give him, you treat him as human and not the tool the Russians used.

》☆ Future plans:

Although his methods are questionable, Ryu Shi-oh looks for love in you. He sees in that relationship an opportunity to find peace and redemption for the sins of his past, even if his actions may be morally ambiguous. He really is a yandere who would give everything for you, though of course after fulfilling his goals.

Since he has experimented on himself, his strength is inhuman and that may or may not lead to use on special occasions... special occasions. Going back to his plans with you,if you behave just by staying out of it, you will have a dream life.... On the other hand, if you are a treacherous liar like Nam Soon (Ryu's own words) Even if he loves and cherishes you, he won't go easy on you.

He will first take it out on your loved ones, then ruining your life until everyone forgets you even exist.... Only then he can stop being angry with you, he is cynical about it.

He will tell you: "But Honey! You did that to yourself... You shouldn't have betrayed me, I gave you everything, I trusted you with my secrets and you were a spoiled whore..... Accept the consequences, only then can we forgive each other."

》☆ Violence as a last resort:

Although he doesn't hesitate to resort to violence towards his subordinates (regarding the real drug business) He never uses it with you as he doesn't want you to see him as someone bad, he tries to keep it as a last resort (We already gave vast examples of which situations can lead him to that) The contradiction between his desire to protect and his ability to be brutal reflects the complexity of his character.

You will always see him as the suave and polite gentleman although distant in his interactions, but as you get to know him better he is just someone traumatized and hurt by his past (He doesn't justify his current actions but he explains why) He never touches a hair on your head if you treat him well (Ryu Shi-oh has the philosophy that his enemies he treats harshly and his allies worse or something similar, what do I know I am just a brat of 18 years old).

》☆ NSFW

》☆ This will be short, but having sex with Ryu Shi-oh is the most sensual thing you could imagine. I won't add much because I need to learn more about the character, well he likes to bite and scratch. He will be slow and very gentle with you when starting this, but when he gets excited like every man he loses his mind and you may or may not end up with whippings or broken bones given his superior strength (literally).

》☆ Ryu loves when you suck his cock or his neck, his favorite parts of your body are those where he can squeeze (female breasts or buttocks). He likes to suck your breasts and play with your neck. His cock is introduced slowly so when you are ready, he gives you everything he has.

》☆ In the end, you will end up tired but satisfied (Unless you have done wrong and Ryu is angry when making love, there it is not smooth and he could even take it out on you due to his jealousy) Afterwards, the care he gives you is soft and sensual, always apologizing for breaking some bones.

In general, having a yandere like him can be a double-edged sword. Ryu Shi-oh can be so kind or cruel depending on your reactions and treatment towards him. It's like swimming on nails, you have to watch where you're going or you'll end up getting hurt.

This is all independent of the K-drama "Nam soon Super Strong Girl" since it is merely my interpretation of this beautiful villain who, from my perspective, didn't deserve so much pain even though he brought it on himself in the end.

[For those anons who asked me for something, I promise that as soon as I get my ideas together I will start writing because I am a mess at this. I could barely do anything right with this yandere concept.]

[shall-we-die]

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{Mistake}

What is the worst mistake they ever made with you?

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↬[Fandom]•⊰ {Obey me!}࿐

↬[Warnings]•⊰ {Angst}࿐

☰[Main list]•⊰ ────┈┈{0062}┈─╮

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╰┈➤Likes/Reblogs are appreciated࿐

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↬|Lucifer|

Maybe the worst thing he'd ever done to MC is pushing them away... Trying to act as though the connection they shared was just a foolish dream, while also trying to fight the feelings he'd formed... he'd never been as affected by anyone like he is with MC - it hurts even more because he knows how much it hurt their heart to be pushed away like that...

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↬|Mammon|

The worst mistake Mammon ever made towards MC was to prioritize his own selfish desires and greed over their well-being and happiness. Despite MC's unwavering loyalty and affection towards Mammon, the Avatar of Greed failed to reciprocate their feelings and instead betrayed them multiple times, leaving them feeling hurt and abandoned. Mammon's constant pursuit of wealth and power blinded him to the pain and suffering he caused MC, and he deeply regrets his actions as he realizes too late the true depth of his mistreatment towards the person who loved and respected him despite his flaws.

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↬|Leviathan|

The worst mistake Leviathan ever made when it comes to the MC... Well, that would definitely have to be accidentally using his magical powers to scare them away... but he only did it because he didn't know how to deal with his own feelings. That's right, he accidentally cast some spells on them! He got so jealous of anyone around them that he just... well, he screwed up really badly.

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↬|Satan|

As the Avatar of Wrath, he's prone to outbursts of anger and impulsiveness, which can sometimes lead to regrettable actions. One such instance was when his anger got the better of him, and he hurt MC in the process. It was a moment of weakness that he deeply regrets, and he had vowed to never repeat such a mistake again. He's determined to control his emotions and learn from his mistakes to ensure that he never hurts those closest to him again.

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↬|Asmodeus|

Asmodeus.. made plenty of.. interesting mistakes, some worse than others. One such mistake was.. that at one point he got jealous because you would pay more attention to someone from RAD over him (He was going to ask you out on a date that day) so.. his way of lashing out was.. being extra clingy and making rude remarks about the person you were talking to. He would realize a little later how foolish he was and try to make it up and apologize for the rude comments and the clinginess...

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↬|Beelzebub|

One of the worst mistakes Beel has made involves the accidental injuring of the MC during a moment of intense gluttony. Despite not intending to harm the MC, Beel's carelessness in satisfying his own hunger led to the MC's pain, leaving him feeling extremely guilty and regretful. As a result of this mistake, Beel struggles with feelings of self-blame and guilt, even distancing himself from the MC in order to avoid further injuring them in the future. This only adds to Beel's struggle with his own inner demons and his fear of losing control due to his excessive desire.

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↬|Belphegor|

(Hahaha... do I really need to talk about lesson 16?) Let's just say that it was a mistake to ignore them for a while and then to treat them rudely when MC came to look for him. I mean, who knew that MC is be able to resist his cold attitude and actually stand up to him?

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↬|Diavolo|

When he injures MC accidentally. This would cause him a lot of regret, guilt, and shame for the rest of his life, as he would have caused harm to the person he cares about the most.

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↬|Barbatos|

If Barbatos ever made a mistake that caused any harm to MC, he would feel deeply regretful and would immediately take steps to address the issue and make amends. He would likely reject/deny the mistake at first, due to his pride and because he holds himself to high standards. But as he observes MC's reaction and the consequences of his actions, he would eventually acknowledge the mistake and take full responsibility for the harm he caused. He would then work to make things right and ensure that he never repeats the same mistake in the future.

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↬|Simeon|

One major mistake he made towards the MC is unintentionally causing them emotional distress and hurt. Despite his good intentions and sincere efforts to help, he may have said or done something unintentionally hurtful, causing the MC to be upset and feel betrayed. He may have deeply regretted and rejected his actions, leading to feelings of immense guilt and shame, as he realizes the impact of his actions and the pain he caused the MC. This mistake could become a significant turning point in their relationship, as he strives to make amends and repair the trust that may have been broken.

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↬|Solomon|

Forcing MC to eat his food. Yep, it's the worst one...

||[🄼istake]||

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     ⇆ㅤㅤ◁🄻ㅤㅤ❚❚ㅤㅤ🄽▷ㅤㅤ↻

[blakeswritingimagines]

Dating Yandere Thomas Shelby:

As a yandere, he is possessive, obsessive, and completely intolerant of any competition for his beloved's attention. He will go to desperate measures to protect you especially if it's after Grace, including violence against those who threaten to take what he believes to be his. He can also be highly emotional and prone to lashing out violently when he feels he is not receiving the appreciation he desires.

He's completely obsessed with his beloved and wants you all to himself. He might use all sorts of tactics, including jealousy, manipulation, and control to keep you as his own. He may even use violence to preserve you and your life together. He also will display extreme levels of protectiveness of you and go to extreme measures to protect you.

He'll get extremely possessive over the person he loves, to the point where he won't let you interact with anyone else not even his family. He would constantly monitor your every move, control who you spend time with, and make sure you stay loyal to him. He would also not hesitate to use violence against anyone who hurts you or gets in the way of your relationship.

He's more of a stalker than an aggressor. He'll spend every minute tracking you down, to keep a close eye on you and ensure other people don't make their move. He'll also leave notes and creepy gifts at your doorstep to keep you on your toes. If he ever needs to get rid of one of his rivals, he's not afraid of getting his hands dirty, but he would instead send a message than get blood on his hands.

In addition to extreme possessiveness, he would such as be constantly thinking about you and wanting to spend every waking moment with you. When you are not around, he would experience intense feelings of panic and anxiety, as if he has lost a part of himself. He would also be very jealous and envious, especially when you are with other people, and would become extremely angry if you showed even the slightest interest in someone else.

He might also go to extreme measures and commit criminal acts to ensure you stay with him, such as abducting you or harming any potential suitors. He wouldn't care about the consequences, as long as he's the one who gets to keep you forever and who's really gonna stop him.

If you tried to leave him, he would do anything in his power to keep you by his side -- including using threats and manipulation. He would also shower you with gifts and compliments, and constantly remind you how much he loves and cares for you.

He could also get very jealous and violent of anyone who shows an interest in you, to the point where he would resort to destructive behavior to make sure you stay loyal to him. This could include breaking things, hurting people, and even killing, if necessary. He would also keep you isolated from the rest of the world to make sure no one else can get to you.

If you got hurt because of him, he would feel incredibly guilty and would do everything in his power to make it up to you. He would apologize profusely and try to make amends, and would also try to make sure that you didn't hold it against him. However, if you were unable to forgive him or move past it, he would respect your decision and do his best to give you the space and time you need. It would be hard for him to forgive himself

If you wanted to leave him, he would do everything in his power to stop you and make you see how much you mean to him. He would try to convince you that he's the only one who truly understands you and would care for you, and that you would be making a big mistake leaving him. If that didn't work, he might even resort to extreme measures like kidnapping or violence to ensure you can't leave.

His family would be concerned and worried about his obsessive and possessive behavior toward you. His actions could cause stress and tension in the family more so then before you got there, and he could face consequences such as losing their trust. His family members would likely try to help him manage his emotions and behavior, and encourage him to seek professional help if needed.

(TW) He might also go to extreme lengths to prove his love, such as harming himself if you reject his advances. He would also be extremely jealous and become enraged if you show any interest in someone else.

He would also be very controlling, to the point where he could easily dictate how you now have to live your life. This could include controlling your diet, clothing, and even your sleep schedule. He might even go as far as manipulating you into doing things you don't want to do, all in the name of "protection."

He might also try to control your daily activities, such as preventing you from going out or spending time with your friends. He might even go as far as cutting off communication with your family and forcing you to rely on him. He would also be highly protective and try to shield you from any potentially dangerous situations much like his line of work.

In addition to these traits, he would be highly persistent in his attempts to get you to notice him. This could involve using emotional manipulation and blackmail to make you dependent on him. He would be relentless in his pursuit of you, regardless of how you feel about him.

He would have a strong sense of ownership over you and treat you as if you were his property. This can extend to a degree where he might threaten or harm you if you refuse to comply with his demands or show any interest in someone else even if it's to get help away form him. He might also become obsessed with going so far as to manipulate you into giving him your undivided attention.

He would exhibit stalking and controlling behavior to keep you from making your own choices or spending time with anyone else and since he's got so many people in his pocket word always comes back to him. This could extend to a point where he might physically harm either you or anyone who comes in the way of your relationship. In addition, he would constantly question your loyalty and seek constant reassurance that he is still loved. He might also resort to blackmail and extortion to keep you.

Another key characteristic of being a yandere is an extreme level of dedication and devotion to the person they love. This can result in him doing anything to ensure that your love remains strong and mutual, such as making big sacrifices, forgiving you for any wrongdoing, or shifting the blame onto someone else when you make mistakes.

He has a strong emotional connection to you. He craves your attention and validation, and he desires to be close to you in every way possible. He is territorial and possessive, and he can become angry and violent if he feels that his loved one’s attention is being drawn away from him. He can become irrational when he perceives threats against you, and can be manipulative and ruthless in order to preserve your relationship.

He is relentless in the pursuit of his desires. He is obsessive and protective, and he will do anything to keep the ones he cares for close to him. He is extremely jealous, possessive and often act out of fear and suspicion. He will defend you with a passion and will not stop until you are his. He is often misunderstood, but those who know him well know that he is a loyal and loving person, driven by a passion that can be both beautiful and terrifying.

[poetry-protest-pornography]

Okay, let's talk about Ming, and how some people are talking about him like he's an irredeemable monster. (It's okay that you don't know anyone who was emotionally neglected and you have a decent relationship with your parents, but it's not okay to pretend your experience is universal and everyone else is garbage)

I know some of you remember my loud defense of Ray from Only Friends, and here I am again, to fight for the loveability of the character who doesn't know what to do with all their big feelings.

Ming's family, from what we see, is not a warm, loving place for him to learn emotional intelligence.

May is pretty great, but there is only so much an older sibling can do when your parents are physically or emotionally unavailable.

Ming's mom had only been seen trying to control Ming's life, marry him off to a woman, and insisting he is incapable of being on his own. Not exactly mom of the year.

Ming is clearly incredibly lonely, and so, so sad.

He likes Tong, but mostly after his sister and Tong are already involved -- because it's safe to transfer feelings you don't understand to someone that those feelings cannot go anywhere with. When he starts to feel too much for Tong, he leaves the country, because he can't process those feelings, and he doesn't want to hurt his sister with his crush on her boyfriend.

He comes home, and he sees Joe first. His likeness to Tong is obviously what pulls Ming in, but it is very quickly apparent that Ming is genuinely interested in Joe, but he has no fucking Idea what to do with that interest.

And when Joe clearly likes him back? It gets worse. He lashes out and then feels bad, but mostly doesn't apologize, he just moves on, because apologies require reflection on what you've done wrong, and Ming doesn't know how to do that! We see him struggle with it multiple times!

He does not know how to deal with being wanted. With the expectation of care that comes with that. Because, ironically, Tong and May are the best example of a relationship he has to look at, and he had to tell Tong to go take care of May when she was sick.

His crush on Tong remains so deeply a part of his identity, even as it obviously fades, and it clouds everything because Tong uses Ming's affection for him against him! And Ming doesn't see that! He doesn't see Tong's flaws until after Joe's accident, and even then, I don't know that he acknowledges Tong's actions as cruelty and manipulation, or if he ignores that all under his own guilt and grief over losing Joe.

And this brings us back to Ming and Joe.

Ming didn't have a crush on Joe. He sort of accidentally fell into a situationship, but then became intensely possessive and obsessed with Joe. We see him be so unbelievably soft with Joe, in moments where he's allowing himself to be, to stumble through having feelings and carrying for other people. But there is so much holding on tight that Ming can't seem to turn off.

He holds on to Joe --both of them!-- so tightly. He sees threats to his claim on Joe everywhere, and he can't confront that idea, so he doubles down on being possessive, and he looks cuckoo-bananas.

But it really just reads to me like he doesn't know what to do with feelings! I know people --especially ND people, who needed a little extra help to learn how to person -- who had emotionally neglectful parents and didn't understand healthy attachment until years of therapy and some determined friends got involved.

I don't have the greatest track record for "healthy attachment", and lean towards codependent in a lot of my relationships.

Some of the people I love the most are "hold on tight even when it's not good, because if I let go you'll leave" people.

They are absolutely deserving of someone who loves them. They deserve a happy ending and middle, too. They deserve the chance to learn and grow and become better versions of themselves.

(and they deserve people to love and cheer for them even when they're being assholes and throwing tantrums and hurting people because they are still learning how not to do that)

AND THIS DOESN'T EVEN TOUCH ON HOW JOE ALSO MISSED A LOT OF EMOTIONAL LESSONS, BUT IT MADE HIM UNHINGED IN A TOTALLY DIFFERENT WAY THAN MING!

Idek if this is coherent, or everything that I wanted to say, but here it is, my treatise on why Ming is my baby, actually, and why I will defend him until he is either better or actively worse.

ETA: what Ming has done is obviously not okay, reasons are not excuses, but I do think he deserves a chance to learn. and to tell Joe he loves him.

[megalony]

Strike Me Down- Part 2

This is the second part of my Evan Buckley imagine, I hope you will all enjoy, thank you so much for the amazing feedback on part one.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem@sj-thefanthefan@hellsdragon@im-an-adult-ish@crazylittlethingg@allauraleigh@onceuponadetectivedemigod@ceres27@avyannadawn@noonenuts@sleepylunarwolf@coverupps@justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @topguncultleader @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyjen @kmc1989

911 Masterlist

Part 1

Summary: When a lightning strike puts Evan's life in danger, he has to fight to get back to his family. His wife and boys need him to get better.

Enjoy.

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"Come on Evan, please… please I don't know what to do here," (Y/n) reached down for Evan's hand and tangled their fingers together. Her other hand feathered lightly over his exposed bicep that was still tainted with burnt red streaks flaming up his bicep, across his shoulder and beneath his gown down his chest.

This was coming on day three of sitting here, unsure what to do with herself or how to move forward.

It was somehow a Godsend that Evan's parents were staying in town. Deep down, (Y/n) knew they would have come down if they had been back home and heard about Evan's accident. But them being here meant that they could watch the kids when (Y/n) was here and then be here with Evan when (Y/n) went home.

Her and Eddie were taking shifts being with the kids then staying at the hospital together and when they went home, Bobby or Maddie stayed with Evan. No one wanted him alone and with his state fluctuating, it was safer to keep at his side at all times.

Sitting and talking to Evan was all well and good but (Y/n) didn't know what to say and she didn't like waiting around, begging him to wake up. He had to wake up, they had to bring him out of the coma and get him breathing on his own. No one could continue like this.

"Alfie's getting scared and they won't let me bring Tommy in here so I can't stay with you as long as I'd like… Theo had a tantrum last night when we tried to take him home. Eddie had to carry him out, he wouldn't leave you. Please wake up baby."

Alfie didn't understand why everyone was panicking, why his grandparents were staying with them and why he was barely seeing his mum who was always panicked and in tears. He wanted his dad, he wanted to go and see him like he knew Theo had but he wasn't allowed. And Bobby needed (Y/n) and he was only a toddler, he would be no problem in the ICU and he wouldn't understand what was going on but the nurses wouldn't let him in.

And Theo was starting to lose his control. He wanted to stay with Evan, he wanted to stay and keep an eye on his dad instead of going home to rest and be with the rest of the family.

When they told Theo Bobby was staying the night with Evan, he started to cry. He hit out at (Y/n) when she tried to get him off the bed and when Eddie dragged him away from Evan, he slumped to the floor and thrashed around, lashing out.

Eddie had to hoist his nephew over his shoulder and carry him into the nearest waiting room so they didn't attract any unwanted attention.

Theo had been told in no uncertain terms that he wasn't going back to the ICU if he couldn't control himself. They had snook him in because they trusted him, he couldn't cause a scene and get them all kicked out.

A gasp left (Y/n)'s lips and she tightened her hand around Evan's when a twinge rocked through her stomach. She shuffled forward and pressed her free hand to her stomach, pressing on her lower abdomen. She couldn't tell if it was the baby wriggling and trying to tell Evan to wake up or if it was a pain she should worry about.

"Look what you're doing to me, baby." She groaned through gritted teeth and leaned forward to press her forehead against Evan's thigh.

Her breaths came out in huffs and she held Evan's hand against her lips, heating his skin with her warm, flushed breaths. She hadn't been eating much these past few days. Food made her feel sick, any drink other than water gave her heartburn and her body was so tired and disorientated that she wasn't even hungry. Eddie and Athena brought her food but she couldn't eat. She would eat when Evan woke up and got better.

More tears flushed her face and soaked into the bedsheets as she choked down a burning sob.

Why did this have to happen to Evan? Why was it always him who got hurt and endangered and threatened?

Evan always came home to her. He had to get better and come back from this, he couldn't leave her and the boys like this when they needed him the most. It wasn't fair. None of it was fair.

"I'm gonna be in labour with a comatose husband in the next room," She croaked, wiping her eyes on her sleeve when she lifted her head to look up at Evan. He wasn't even twitching in his sleep. (Y/n) couldn't sleep at home, she had brought Tommy into bed with her because Evan wasn't there tossing and turning or looping an arm around her waist.

She would be going into early labour at this rate with her husband lying motionless in the bed beside her. That wasn't how life was supposed to work out for them.

"I've n-never done this without you. You've a-always been there, you can't miss this one,"

(Y/n) wasn't having her fourth child without Evan holding her hand, talking her through it. They had been sixteen when they had Theo and Evan had been there from the start. He didn't sleep for thirty six hours, he paced the room with (Y/n), knelt with her on the floor and eventually laid on the bed with her between his thighs.

Alfie had been born three days before Christmas so Evan had been off work at the time in his old job. He coached (Y/n) through it and calmed her down and told her everything would be fine since he had been almost two months early.

And Tommy had been the quickest one of them all. Eddie had been driving and Evan had to take off his belt and kneel in the footwell of the car when (Y/n) started to push before they got to the hospital. Evan and Eddie both carried (Y/n) between them into the hospital reception and before a nurse could get to them, (Y/n) gave birth.

She gave birth to Tommy in front of a crowd of people with her husband knelt between her legs delivering their third child.

(Y/n) wasn't having baby number four without Evan.

Thrashing his hands out, Evan slammed every pill bottle within his reach down to the floor as a roaring scream left his lips.

This wasn't right.

His wife was in pain. She was hunched over his bedside in agony, crying into his arm that he swore he could feel the tears soaking into his skin from over here. She was supposed to be resting at home with the boys with Evan taking care of her. Not him laid up, useless and broken with his wife deteriorating at his side, begging him to come back to her.

It wasn't as if he wasn't trying. Evan had fought his way from a horrid alternate reality with his family. He had left Chimney and Hen behind and had been running around the hospital like a headless chicken until he found this window. He was watching his family sit vigil by his bedside, crying and screaming for him to come back.

He had broken down watching Eddie carry his son out of the room who was screaming at Evan to wake up and come back to them.

But he didn't know how.

"Baby I'm here… how do I get over there?" Evan glanced around the supply room he found himself in, wondering if Daniel or the alternate Bobby were still with him.

"You don't."

Bobby's answer was so simple and easy but it made Evan shiver. That wasn't what he wanted to hear and it wasn't something Evan was going to believe. He would get himself back to his real body if it cost him everything. He wasn't staying here.

"I will-"

"No, you won't. You're stuck here, this is your new world now," Bobby chugged down a handful of pills but his brows rose and he almost smiled when he looked through the window. "Oh look kid, maybe you don't have to get over there after all. She's so ill, she might be coming here to visit you instead."

"No! No, no baby no!"

Evan pounded his fists against the glass, yelling as loud as he could to reach her but it did nothing.

All he could do was stand and watch his wife double over and clench her stomach. Her forehead pressed into the edge of the mattress as she doubled over and started to cough. She needed to be sick. She wasn't eating which was messing with her stomach, she wanted to be sick but she had nothing left to throw up.

Evan couldn't have his wife joining him in here. He couldn't find his own way out, how on Earth would he get both of them out? She was pregnant, she needed someone to look after her while Evan couldn't.

He couldn't breathe.

Evan couldn't breathe. His hand pressed to his chest as he started to gasp and grog, parting his lips but nothing was going in or out. Why couldn't he breathe? Why was his chest starting to tremble and quake and pull inwards without exhaling? What was happening to him?

"You don't look so good kid."

He knew that. But Bobby wasn't looking at this version of him; he was looking through the glass at the real Evan. The unconscious Evan. The dying Evan.

His body was jerking up and down on the bed, chest rising and panting and choking on air he was being supplied by a ventilator. The machines were starting to blare out but all Evan could hear was (Y/n)'s cry that overpowered everything else.

He was panicking about (Y/n) so much that his body was starting to fail. He was scaring himself into a state of shock.

"Evan? God, Evan no don't do this," The moment (Y/n) sat straight in the chair, her stomach made an awful pang and she let go of Evan's hand.

He wasn't getting enough oxygen, the machine was starting to flash red and his body was shuddering, quaking and choking. (Y/n) had been praying for him to move but this isn't what she meant. She wanted his hand to twitch and squeeze or his arm to move or his head to turn in her direction. She didn't want him to start choking and getting worse.

She let go of his hand and pushed up from the chair, doubling over until her stomach felt like it was being squished to relieve the pressure. Her hands fumbled over the bedframe at the foot of the bed and she moved round just as the door burst open and Eddie ran in, followed by two nurses.

"He- he needs more oxygen," (Y/n) dug her fingers into the bed frame and hunched over, arching out her back as the nurses tried to level out his oxygen and stop him from crashing.

She felt Eddie's hand on her lower back and his other hand grabbed the bed frame with her but he turned to look at her when she started to shake.

"(Y/n), what's wrong?" Panic blundered through Eddie's veins when he looked down at his sister. He had left the room for less than half an hour to get a drink and call their parents to update them. They were offering to come down to LA but that was the last thing either of them wanted right now.

They had enough family and friends around to help look after the boys, if their parents came down it would cement the fact that Evan might not wake up from this. That wasn't a reality either of them were ready to face.

"I just- I- he's given me a shock," Her fingers tightened around the bed frame as she tried to straighten up but it didn't help. Staying hunched over was the only thing relieving the pain in her stomach. Each breath came out in short pants and she twisted herself to the left so she could try and face her brother as her right hand moved to cradle her stomach.

"Come and sit down," Eddie moved his hands to her shoulders and tried to prize her from the bed. But as soon as (Y/n) let go of the bed frame and tried to straighten up again, another pain rocked her stomach and she doubled over. Her knees bent, her body hunkered down and her arm bound around her seven-month bump while her other hand moved to gripped Eddie's forearm.

"Do we need to call a midwife?"

"Yes-"

"No. Help my husband," She broke off with a harsh breath that burned past her lips as her eyes snapped closed.

The last thing (Y/n) wanted was to be fussed over when her husband was in distress, possibly on the verge of another cardiac arrest. She needed everyone to focus all their efforts on Evan and get him stable again. Only when she was assured he was okay would (Y/n) think about leaving his side and seeing someone herself. She could look after herself and the baby.

"(Y/n) you need a doctor." A burning fury boiled up in Eddie's eyes as he reached out for his sister again. She was in pain- no, she was in agony and she wasn't letting them help her. They were in a hospital, there were more than enough staff to help her as well as Evan.

"No. Oow… no." (Y/n) sobbed, gasping for breath almost as much as Evan as she turned her back on the nurses and looked at her brother instead. Her forehead pressed into his chest when he stepped closer and held onto her so she didn't go down on her knees.

His fingers dug into the back of her arms until he was leaving indents and bruising his sister's skin when she fought to get out of his grip. What was she doing? Why was she fighting him when he was trying to help her? She wasn't well.

"Stop fighting me-"

(Y/n) pulled out of Eddie's grip with a scream and turned to look back at Evan. Her arm pressed tighter into her burning stomach while her other hand pressed to her temple that was flushed and aching. He needed to get better. He needed to stop giving her jumpscares and frightening the baby like this. Evan had to come back to her because this wasn't fair.

She took two steps closer towards the bed before she hunkered down near the small bin and leaned over, coughing and gagging. Her stomach was telling her to be sick and her throat was gagging and tensing but she had nothing but bile to give.

"Fuck- get a doctor for him and a midwife for my sister!" Eddie threw an order at the nurse who was about to rush out of the room for help.

Evan needed to be regulated and calmed down and (Y/n) needed to be checked over and have the baby checked. She was making herself ill even if she didn't want or mean to. The last thing they needed was her going into premature labour. Evan would never forgive any of them if she had the baby without him.

"You need to sit down and listen to me," Reaching out, Eddie clamped his hands back down on her arms and pulled her into his chest. Once she stopped pushing him away, Eddie turned her around and heaved her down into the chair beside the bed.

"You're making yourself sick and we need a doctor to examine you, the last thing we want is you in labour and Buck in a coma."

Her body sank down, her nails scrunched up her shirt and dug into her stomach and her other hand slammed down on the wooden armrest.

"I need Evan!" Her voice echoed off the walls and bounced back to them with a desperate, pleading cry that could be felt at the end of the Earth. Her hand waved out towards the bed where her husband was still violently shaking. She didn't care about anything else and as horrible as she felt, (Y/n) couldn't will herself to care if her body deteriorated. She wanted Evan awake and alert o he could tell her everything was going to be okay.

What was happening to her husband?

"I need him! Wake him up!"

Leaning down, (Y/n) pressed her stomach into her knees and flopped her head onto Eddie's shoulder, a burning sob bubbling past her lips. She curled her arm around his neck to ground herself and stop from falling down onto his lap. But when she felt him wrap his arms around her and hold her, it only made her sobs worse.

"He's not leaving us. He wouldn't dare."

***

"I need to get back to my family."

Frustration soured through Evan's body as guilt racked his chest and sent his knees down to the floor. The corridor in front of him stretched out five miles long, extending his hospital room until he couldn't see it anymore and it could have been on the other side of the Earth for all Evan knew.

He couldn't get back. He didn't know how he was supposed to find his way into that room that had no doors and the only window was in the back of the medicine cabinet in the store room. It was a small window that let Evan watch his life and his family slip away from him and he was sick of watching.

He was sick to his stomach when he watched Eddie carry (Y/n) out of his room, leaving Evan's lifeless body to be meddled with by doctors and nurses.

There was no way for Evan to find out what was wrong with (Y/n), if she was alright and how he could get to her.

He couldn't stand and watch anymore. He had gone wandering in the hopes of finding his wife or brother in law, but this hospital was his alternate. It was an alternate universe full of his alternate parents and his dead older brother. A brother who was now following him around like a shadow, spitting poison in his ear whenever he could.

"Why? They don't need you."

Evan's brows furrowed and he turned on his heels, clenching his hands into fists as he looked at what he could only guess was how his brother would look if he were alive.

"Yes they do."

How could he say that? Of course they needed him. His wife was in agony, for all Evan knew she could be in labour. She could be somewhere in the real hospital, having their fourth child without him there to hold her hand and watch over her. If anything happened to her or the baby Evan was never going to forgive himself when he got out of here.

"Theo's fourteen. He's outgrowing you. At sixteen you moved out from home with a girl and a baby. He doesn't need you anymore." Daniel held a clipboard against his chest and shrugged with a horribly plain expression.

"That was different- I- I had a kid. But my parents didn't want me like I wanted him. He needs me because I love him and I'm not abandoning any of them like people left me."

Evan's situation had been tough.

He was barely sixteen when Theo was born and staying at home away from (Y/n) and his newborn wasn't an option. Neither was having (Y/n) and Theo move in with his parents. They barely acknowledged Evan in the house or gave him any love and comfort, he couldn't bring his new family into that mess and have his son grow up in that kind of environment.

Moving out was the only option and it had been the best thing for Evan. He had (Y/n) and Theo in his life, they shared a one bedroom flat for the first two years and then moved into a bigger flat. By the time they had Alfie they had a proper home for the four of them, and now they had Tommy and another baby.

There was no way Theo was outgrowing Evan. Theo had grown up with a loving home environment and caring, observant parents who loved the bones of him. Evan couldn't leave any of his boys, he couldn't die and be absent from their lives or leave (Y/n) to bring them up alone and he needed to meet his baby.

His life was far from over and he wasn't done.

"I need to get back to (Y/n), she's sick and it's my fault. She can't have our baby without me."

Pushing himself up to his feet, Evan took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and began walking. He didn't care how long this corridor was, how long it took him or where he would end up. He wanted to be closer to his family than this and he would walk around this imaginary universe if it got him the slightest bit closer to home.

He wasn't staying here.

***

A quaking breath passed through (Y/n)'s lips when she looked up at the window and noticed who was looking in.

Her lips pressed together into a thin line and she untangled her left hand from Evan's as she sat up straighter in the chair. Her right arm cradled Tommy closer to her chest, snuggling him around her bump before she slowly eased up from the uncomfortable chair.

The toddler stayed cuddled up into her chest with his head tucked beneath her chin into the crook of her neck and his arms coiled into his chest. He had a pacifier between his lips and for the last hour or so, he had been fast asleep in (Y/n)'s arms.

Her hand moved to cradle the back of Tommy's head when she left the room and moved into the hallway.

"Hi," Her chin tilted down so she could kiss the top of Tommy's head and her eyes didn't dare look up at her in-laws.

"You're supposed to be resting," Evan's mother had a tight hold of her bag that was settled on her shoulder and there was something almost endearing in her eyes. If (Y/n) didn't know her any better, she would have thought she was a genuine, worried parent concerned with her son's family life.

"I may as well rest here, no better place to collapse than a hospital, right?"

"Thomas shouldn't be here, take him home. We'll sit with Evan for the night," Her father in law curved an arm around his wife and darted his eyes through the window to look over at his son.

Evan had been on an ECMO machine for two days to filter his blood and add more oxygen through his body which had worked well. His levels were back up, his body was calm and resting and they were looking at trying to get him to breathe on his own soon.

The doctor had confirmed (Y/n) wasn't in labour but she was pushing her body to its limits. She had to eat, drink and rest before she went into early labour.

So (Y/n) had spent two days at home under the promise that Maddie, Bobby and Athena would all look after Evan. She had spent the days tucked up in bed with all three of her boys, even Theo didn't leave her side and stayed next to her. She reassured the boys she and Evan would be okay and managed a few hours of sleep with Tommy cuddled to her chest.

She ate a little when Eddie or Maddie brought her food and protein shakes but she was tired of being at home.

She needed to be beside her husband and she wasn't leaving Tommy any longer. Theo was with Eddie and Chris, he was only staying calm and behaving for Eddie, for anyone else he was lashing out, crying and begging. When Theo begged (Y/n) to take him back to the hospital and she said no, Eddie took him home with him to calm him down. And Alfie was staying with Maddie and Chimney for the night.

"I'm not leaving him. Tommy's fine, he's sleeping."

"But this isn't good for you-"

"Julie, please… I've spent the last fourteen years by your son's side. I stayed with him when he went through four operations on his leg after an accident that didn't manage to concern you enough to come down and see us. I carried him up and down the stairs with a pot on his leg, I bathed him and held him when he screamed. I took him to therapy after he, Chris and Theo were caught up in the tsunami. I'm not going anywhere; I don't know how."

Why could no one understand?

Why didn't anyone realise that (Y/n) couldn't function when Evan was ill? She was giving all of her strength to him so he could come back to her, that was what they did for each other and that was how things had always been.

(Y/n) wasn't going home unless it was to spend time with her boys and she had been with them for two days. Two days away from Evan when he was in a critical state and that separation had taken everything away from her. She wanted to stay with Evan and show him that he had something to fight for. That he had to find his way back to them.

When the truck crushed his leg, (Y/n) was at the hospital by the time he arrived. She waited through each surgery, she made him behave for the doctors. (Y/n) heaved him up and down the stairs, she helped him wash and get dressed. She wrapped him in her arms when he broke down wondering if he could ever run again and do his job.

After the tsunami, (Y/n) got all the boys in therapy. Chris, Theo, Eddie and Evan all had to talk to someone and (Y/n) took them to their appointments and made sure they were okay.

She had done everything on her own without his parents getting in the way and as grateful as (Y/n) was that they were here now, she didn't want their advice.

"Evan didn't want us here-"

"No. No, he may not have wanted you, but he needed you. There's a big difference you never noticed. Evan has spent his life proving himself to you, begging for your attention or just some sign to show that you care and he made sure the boys never once felt that way with him."

(Y/n) had watched Evan prove himself to the boys every day since Theo was born. He went to every school play, every sports event and he patched them up when they fell down. He cradled them when they were sick and he played games and pushed them to do what they wanted and be their own person. Evan made sure they knew how much he loved them.

And (Y/n) needed him to get better and continue doing that with them. The boys couldn't cope without him and neither could she.

"We may not have always been there for Evan and… and maybe we didn't agree with his life choices, but we always knew how much you meant to him. And while he's like this, it's our job to look after you when he can't."

"Then don't make me leave."

(Y/n) turned on her heels and walked back through the door but she could feel the atmosphere change when she left the door open for them to follow. She wasn't going to shut them out and if they were that desperate to help and prove themselves, the best thing they could do was stay and give moral support.

"You can't go back. You're stuck here, where you belong so say goodbye to that old life."

Evan didn't like the cruel expression that landed on the face that mimicked his own. He didn't like the selfish, hardened version of himself that stood before him. His lips were curved into a catfish grin that showed nothing but malice and detest and his eyes were squinted and blown with desire.

He had been fighting himself all along to get back to his family. He was obstructing his own path. But not anymore.

"This is my chance and I'm not leaving them behind."

This had to be the moment everything was leading up to. Evan could see through the glass, he could see his life so clearly. His wife was stood holding his hand with their toddler in her other arm. He had just watched her argue with a nurse that Tommy was no danger or bother and he needed his mother so they let him stay 'just this once'.

Eddie was behind her with tears running down his face and his hands rubbing at the back of his neck, something he did when he was nervous.

Maddie was in the other corner of the room next to Bobby who was holding his rosary beads, muttering a prayer Evan really needed to hear. And his parents were at the window. They didn't have the strength to stand inside the crowded room and watch in case this didn't go the way they planned.

They were taking him off the ventilator.

This was Evan's chance to breathe on his own and somehow get from here, over there. His chance to get back to his body and back to his own reality that he had been separated from. He wasn't missing this chance and he wasn't letting his life slip away from him.

"No, this is you're reality, isn't this what you always wanted?" He stumbled back when the darker version of himself pushed him away from the window. "Go outside that door. You have parents who adore you, who cling to your every move. You have siblings who want you around and a job you can be proud of. You have a wife and a home here too, you have the things you always wanted. This is your dream."

Tears flushed his face as he stared at the window. That was what he wanted. That life he had never once taken for granted. Evan always had too much to live for, too much at stake to risk anything.

"I want my wife and kids. They love me. My sister loves me and out there, she's happy and safe. My parents are right there when I need them, that's what I need. Bobby is there, Eddie is my brother. This is a dream and I don't want it. My family is my life and they are all out there, waiting for me."

Nothing about this life appealed to Evan like reality.

Adoring parents were always the dream and he knew it would never come true. His parents were around when he needed them, they did what they could to be involved in his life and that was okay. He had Bobby and Athena who were the parents he always wanted so in part, his dream had come true. The brother Evan never had was waiting in that room, crying for him to get better. And he had been with Evan for nearly two decades.

In reality, Evan had a sister who was loved and happy and out of danger, he helped her in reality and he wouldn't stay in an alternate world where she was in danger.

And Evan's wife, his real, true, amazing lovely wife was out there in pain needing him to come home.

His three boys were waiting for him to get better and he would never trade them for an easy life. He wanted to go home.

"You don't need them."

"I can't live without them."

His eyes frantically searched round the room when sparks flew in his chest and his throat felt as dry as the desert. The tube was out, he could feel it. This was his chance to breathe and he somehow had to get back over there and take it before he died.

He could hear his darker self screaming when he launched a chair through the window and thrust his fists to make the glass break. Shattering the prison he had kept himself in, allowing himself to go back home.

Nothing was going to stop him from going home.

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

"He's breathing."

Tears burned down (Y/n)'s face like acid rain drenching her cheeks and bluring her perfect vision of her husband. She brought his hand up to her lips and kissed the back of his knuckles, smiling against his skin when Tommy leaned forward to pat Evan's hand.

He was too young to understand what was going on or that his dad was gravely ill, but he knew that was his dad and he leaned into Evan's touch the same as (Y/n) did.

(Y/n) could feel Eddie's hands on her shoulders and his lips pressing into the back of her head while everyone seemed to let out the same panicked, relieved gulps of air all at once. The atmosphere around them lifted like a cloud of smoke disappearing into the air.

"Stay with us baby, stay with us."

[gx-gameon]

Every few years Yugioh comes back and takes over my life.

And as I rewatch the anime I can’t stop thinking about a world where Jaden was raised by Yugi.

I don’t know if you all remember but a few years back there was a creator on here and they had an au were the Gx gang were raised by the Duel monster gang. But they are gone now and I can’t find their stuff😢 but it’s okay. I’ve got my own ideas on this!

Instead of having the whole Gx gang raised by the DM gang we are just going to focus on Jaden.

When Jaden is four all the drama with Yubel happens. His parents aren’t around very often, and Yubel is being Yubel. She sees Jaden fighting and losing duels so she lashes out at the other duelest because in the dark world if Jaden lost that duel he’d be dead. She’s just protecting him. He designs the Neo-spacians and they get sent into space, and his parents make the request for Yubel to be sent up as well (I know in the show it was Jaden but we’re going to say it was his parents idea first)

Jaden is now having horrible nightmares about Yubel and his shadow magic is lashing out. He’s four. He has so much power and no idea how to control it. So his parents, afraid of their child take him to get ‘help.’ Whatever it is that they do it blocks out Jaden’s powers and his memories. He can’t remember Yubel, he can’t see spirits. But it’s to late. He’s already branded a social pariah and his parents are scared of him and he doesn’t know why. His parents just can’t take it anymore and drop the kid off at a fire station (don’t know if this is a thing in Japan but in some states you can drop a kid off at any age at and just leave) or maybe they just die. Either way they are gone and he’s in an orphanage. Alone, scared, no spirits, parents, or friends.

Here is where Yugi comes in.

Our boy just graduated. DSOD just happened. (Jaden’s cards going to space were Kaiba testing things for his satellite thingy) Kaiba is AWOL. But Yugi doesn’t know why…yet.

Maybe he’s in town for a tournament, or college, but for some reason he’s in town, and what he does find is this kid dueling by himself in a park. No one will go near him and he looks so lonely. And Yugi knows that feeling. So he goes over and plays with the kid. Jaden is ecstatic, the king of games wants to duel him! Best day ever.

Over time the two keep running into each other until Yugi learns about the kids situation. No family, no friends, he’s alone in the world. And Yugi, he just can’t stand that. Yes Jaden is a little loud and over excited but he’s a great kid and Yugi can’t even comprehend why his parents would abandon him. So he makes the decision to go and adopt this kid.

But the adoption’s weird. He expected a lot of questions. He’s 18 after all, and while he’s got his grandpa’s support, he’s still 18 years old trying to adopt a 4 year old. But the orphanage basically throws the kid at him happy to be rid of the problem. (Everyone in that part of town knows what used to happen when Jaden dueled.) and Yugi is perplexed. He’s not mad, it’s the outcome he wanted, but why is everyone so scared of the kid?

He tries to find out but there are no records of Jaden. Who his parents are, or what happened. (Rich people have the ability to get certain records closed) so he goes to the one person he can think of who might be able to find those records, Kaiba. But when he gets there Mokuba is barely keeping it together. Yugi asked where Seto is and the kid just breaks down, telling him all about Seto’s trip to the afterlife to duel Atem and Yugi is floored. Why would he be so stupid. Mokuba begs Yugi to go after his brother. But Yugi hesitates, he’s got Jaden to worry about now.

“Who’s Jaden?” And it’s in this moment that Yugi realizes he was so wrapped up in adopting Jaden, getting him home, and trying to figure out why that whole town was scared of a 4 year old, that he didn’t tell anyone about Jaden! So he quickly explains to Mokuba who Jaden is and what is happening and why he needs Seto’s help.

Mokuba didn’t think he could like Yugi anymore then he already did, after all Yugi has helped him and Seto a lot, but now! After learning he saved a kid for an orphanage and an awful upbringing like he and Seto had, he adores this man. (Now if Seto would just get his head out of his butt and realize that Yugi isn’t just his rival but also a perfect match. He’s the biggest rivalshipper) but he needs Yugi to go after Seto, after all who else can?

So Yugi calls Joey to watch Jaden. And Joey is experiencing so many different emotions, having so many breakdowns. What do you mean you got a Kid Yug? What do you mean Kaiba went to the Afterlife to duel Atem? What do you mean you’re going after him? Why? I’m so confused!!

But he instantly loves Jaden. They both love dueling, they both have empty heads. Uncle Joey is in the house! He offers to go after Kaiba for Yugi, Jaden can’t lose him, but Yugi insist he go. He wants to see Atem, but he also knows he has a better chance than Joey at coming back.

So after Kaiba Yugi goes. Jaden’s safe with Joey and Mokuba.

And if this isn’t in the top 5 weirdest thing Yugi’s ever done, which is saying something.

He meets up with Kaiba and Atem. And Atem has spent the last month yelling at Kaiba for coming here because the man didn’t plan on how to get back. And here comes Yugi, Atem sees him and starts to lose it because, either Yugi is dead or he followed Kaiba here and he doesn’t know which is worse. Until Yugi starts yelling at Kaiba as well. Because “I had to leave my son to come get you!” And hold up now Atem and Kaiba are Floored because “son?”

Atem’s wondering if it’s been way longer than he thought and Yugi and Kaiba have just aged well, or did he miss something THAT big when he was with his aibou.

So Yugi has to explain who Jaden is. (Kaiba’s in love but he doesn’t realize it) and Atem is so proud.

Yugi drags Seto back down to earth but not before some adventures in the afterlife. That may end with Atem coming back down with them by accident. (A gift from the gods, Atem didn’t plan or ask for it, but he will forever be grateful for this second chance at life) Uncle Atem gets to meet his nephew and he’s pumped.

Jaden grows up so loved. Learning from the best. Seto finds out about Jaden’s past and Atem works with the kid on unlocking his powers once again while Kaiba tries to retrieve Jaden’s cards from space. (They are his soul cards, he’s suppose to have them, just as Kaiba is suppose to have Blue-eyes, or Atem the Dark Magician. And Seto just sent them to space!! Yugi was not happy when he found out, he doesn’t blame Seto, but he’s not happy)

Jaden grows up going to all of his dad’s tournaments. They give the kid a baseball hat and sunglasses so no one knows what the ‘prince of duels’ looks like.

Eventually Yugi and Seto get their crap together and start dating/get married. Seto is the most over protective Oto-san ever. Only rivaled by uncle Atem.

When Jaden is fourteen he’s ready to go to duel school. He enrolls are Jaden Yuki. His transcript does not mention his parents, as Jaden doesn’t want any special privileges at the school.

Yugi gives his son winged kuriboh on his way to his entrance test. The whole gang is there in a private sweet to watch the entrance exams and see Jaden’s duel against Dr. Crowler.

Seto is furious at his staffs behavior but Yugi and Atem are more focused on Jaden finally being able to see spirits again. They’re so excited. Seto less so, he’s happy for his son but he’s so focused on his employee bullying a child, his child. (Lets just say Crowler owes keeping his job to Jaden, he will have no clue of this until after Jaden graduates)

Gx is so much funnier because Kaiba is hearing about all the crazy things his staff is doing and he’s ready to fire everyone, but his son keeps saying he likes them, the school, the adventure. Jaden so desperately doesn’t want any of his classmates to know who his parents are, not wanting to be treated differently. So Seto can’t fire them, yet. But once Jaden graduates he is overhauling this school.

Yugi is at a cross between laughing at Atem and Seto being over protective and also losing his mind because who stored the dark lords at this school! “Seto, did you know about this?” (Seto’s never been more scared of his husband)

Season one is uninterrupted. But season 2 is close. Even Yugi wants to step in when the evil cult comes to light. But it’s season 3 that makes the family lose their minds.

[prettypeppermint]

swan song.

for t. shelby. a continuation of 'the gift of silence. (how sweet the sound)'

Sacrifice was your greatest gift. It clung to your name like a drawn bowstring, pregnant with prospective yet surmounting to nothing. You gave to your family until their deaths pried your outstretched palms away; you gave to your future self through tired feet and hard-earned sweat. Now, you've given to Thomas Shelby. Your very own love language.

You would give just about anything to take it all back.

He was kissing you--tasting you. He was asking for more and more of you every day through his longing gaze and patient fingers. You hated making him wait for something unattainable.

He wanted you a certain way--pliant, moldable. Soft.

He wanted you only to take from you. He wanted to collect you piece by piece.

A giver and a God.

"Tell me," he muttered into your mouth, tasting the way your thoughts grew sour on your lips. He read you in a way not kindled through love but through years of hardened business.

You pulled away half-heartedly. Your mind wrapped around him and you needed air.

"Say you love me," you ordered, staring into the core of his glacier-capped irises. There was no hope--no apprehension. You've digested every unspoken word already. You knew.

He peered down at you through his heavy line of lashes. "What--are my acts of service not enough?" he said lowly, an air of an insatiated euphemism in his voice.

A swell.

A silence.

An atonement.

"I love you." His finger traced a lock of hair into the canyon of your ear.

"I don't believe you."

A scoff seared through his teeth--a breath through the cornice of his lips.

"I've been thinking recently. During the day; during the night"--you began walking aimlessly around his office, fingering book spines and swiping the dust off of ledges--"during that ungodly hour before work. And thank God I have, because now I know you've been lying to me."

Thomas analyzed you--dissected every syllable. He listened.

"When you look into my eyes, I see nothing but her in yours."

It always goes back to Grace.

The lack of pain in your voice irked him on a deep, almost irrational level.

"At first I was hurt--confused. But now"--you circled back to him--"now, I feel nothing. I am nothing." You waited for him to interject despite knowing he never would. Sometimes, you were too painfully clear of his character; of just how much control he had over you; of how many ways he could hurt you while protecting you--love you while losing you.

"Then I realized: I'd rather be yours than nothing. Isn't it sad--a lass like me? Maybe I should first learn how it feels to be my own--to know every crease of my skin and grow comfortable in my flesh how you've grown so comfortable in mine."

The man you loved, whom you had sacrificed for one final time.

Your muscles yearned to reunite with him, but you held your arms to your sides in protest. "Thomas Shelby, you love me how a man should, but not how a woman should feel loved."

And now you'll spend the rest of your life chasing a notion--a concept--made only somewhat tangible by a man who could give you no more than all of him. Now you'll lose yourself searching for someone to search for you. Now you'll see him in all the men who fail in forgivable ways and love kindly.

A piece of him you will keep; a piece of you he will throw away. Until the next.

"You love me," he states, seemingly unphased. "And I love you."

"You don't know what love is, Thomas. How could you, when you've never loved anyone more than they've loved you?

"That's the ultimate testament of the caliber of a man's heart. It was never me, Thomas. It's her name you whisper in your sleep. Hear it. Accept it. Remember my voice saying it. Cling to it for the rest of your goddamn life so you never tell another woman you love her again."

For the first time, he noticed, you sounded defeated.

For the first time, he saw the vices of Birmingham shade your rural clarity.

Your voice sounded different without the usual fight in it; it revealed the exhaustion you forced down with cigarettes every morning and night. Suddenly the violet shadows under your eyes introduced themselves. Suddenly you looked 5 kilograms emaciated.

It was then that you became another woman in Thomas Shelby's life. You were no longer of the Kilkee coast or the sweetened countryside. You were ruined, and now you were just like the rest.

No girl who ever got tangled up in Shelby business ever makes it to London.

A swell.

A silence.

An empty impenitence.

"Goodbye, Thomas."

While he waited for you to fight for him, you once more decided to give.

Twice more, he took from you.

You wanted to feel his warmth against your lips once more. You had suddenly wished you'd savored your last kiss. "I hate what you've made me," you whispered.

He hated how the words sounded--how they tainted your tongue.

"You hate what you've become for me," he corrected.

You gave him a lonely, far-off stare, as if you were looking straight through him. He knew he had lost you.

You ignored his previous remark: "I hate how you made me think it was safe to fall in love with you."

You hadn't realized your eyes had welled up with an undeniable glaze until you felt a drop of glass wetness fall from your cheek. "I hate how you've turned me into another one of your women."

When Thomas didn't move, or walk closer to you, or even soften at your unraveling, you felt sour all over. Suddenly, you wanted it to hurt.

"No one has ever loved me in my entire life," you said to yourself, almost inaudibly. It sounded so ridiculously girlish and naive, unlike anything he had ever heard you say before.

A swell.

A painful one in the grit of your heart.

You felt heavy as you slowly turned and left his office.

†

He found you passed out in the chapel, your chest sprawled across the altar, your palms still clasped together in weak prayer. A mistiness clung to your eyelashes. He was once again reminded how much he loved how you looked in your sleep: like a soft lull of the shore had washed over you and cured a light peace into your soul.

He stood over you, counting your breaths and watching your lungs expand with life just to expel it. You smelled of ash and rosaries and beeswax. A tear rolled over the apples of your cheek and onto the peak of your nose.

"Silly girl," he rasped lowly before sitting on the floor and pulling your limp form into the cradle of his chest. His palm met the crown of your head to pull you further into his weight, his other hand hooking around the lonely bend of your waist. He felt his shirt seep with moisture, and he knew you were awake.

"She was a piece of my past I can't go back to take away," he said, his chin resting atop your head, voice bitter yet smooth like coffee on a good day, "But if any part of her had led me to you, I wouldn't go back to change a moment of it even if I could."

Your shoulders shuddered silently, and your sobs permeated directly through his chest and into his heart. He always knew just what to say, to the point it scared you.

"Give it time," said Thomas, petting your head in rhythm with your heart, "Give it time."

While you gave, he invested. He invested in all the times you've chipped away at yourself for him, and he kept them in his heart until the next time he would use them--like a business transaction.

But could you blame him for loving you how he knows best?

To understand his love was more than enough. Yet, your consistent upturned and empty palms rendered you greedy.

He collects your wet cheeks between his hands and brings you to look up at him. In his eyes, you saw the end of a road.

Was this all there was? Maybe so.

"Let's get married. Right here, right now"--he swiped his thumb across the slick of your undereye--"That way you'll be mine to keep. No more goodbyes."

You felt the Lord's eyes on your kneeling form. An odd feeling of shame and acceptance washed over you and clogged your chest.

It was then that you knew: loving Thomas Shelby was never going to be beautiful. It wasn't simple or painless or any of the things love should be. And it would never be the same kind of love that it was yesterday.

But what could you do? What could you do if you loved him nonetheless?

If you would always be loved how broken women are loved?

x.

[dalishious]

The Dragon Age Fandom’s New Favourite Charming Slaver

There is nothing wrong with appreciating and enjoying villainous characters, especially when they are done so well. Everything about Rezaren Ammosine makes a him a remarkable and fascinating villain. He’s very intelligently depicted; all aspects of his character matter to how he presents in the story. His design is that of a handsome young white man. He is animated with a graceful and gentle flow, not just in how he casts spells but literally how he carries himself. His voice has a soft and soothing tone, and he uses that soft tone as part of his powerful charisma and sway he has over the people around him, like Tassia. In fact, Rezaren uses all of these characteristics for his benefit. Because just like in real life, abusers do not always wear “I’m a shithead” signs on their chest. To the outside world, they are charming and gentle people who couldn’t possibly hurt a fly, could they? But make no mistake. Rezaren Ammosine is a villain to his core. And treating him as anything other than a villain is a grossly disrespectful interpretation to fans of colour, given the nature of his villainy.

From his very introduction, we see that Rezaren is used to getting his way, and becomes easily frustrated and angered when his will is denied. When he summons a spirit of memory to interrogate about the circulum’s creation, the spirit warns him that answering too much would be unwise. Rezaren ignores these warnings and orders the spirit to continue, to the brink of turning the spirit into a pride demon. This is called back into further example when Miriam refuses his plans for her. Again, he becomes easily angered and physically lashes out, using his magic to flare up the pain in her wound. Then to solidify the power he has over her, says “You live because I will it.”

Rezaren explains to Tassia, “Her name is Miriam. She's my sister. My mother owned her. She was to be my personal spy, assassin. Whatever was needed. My left hand, as it were. But she raised us as siblings.” Except we see how Miriam and Neb were really raised in flashbacks. We see how they were beaten for Rezaren simply tripping while playing with them. We see how they were forced to do hard labour, and told they were not allowed to own anything. And we see how Rezaren’s mother sacrificed Neb so that Rezaren would not become an abomination during his Harrowing, sending the demon into Neb’s body instead. And that raising has obviously shaped how Rezaren views this so-called siblinghood, because while he may call Neb and Miriam his brother and sister, make no mistake, he still views them belonging to him. Rezaren has no respect for their autonomy. Even in death, he defiles Neb’s body by using blood magic to put a demon inside it and controlling him. And Miriam? He cannot bare to accept that she refuses to submit to slavery again, no matter how pretty a picture he paints of them being like family. But you don’t own a sibling. “Selfish bitch! You and your ungrateful brother. You were mine!” he shouts at the very end, before Miriam fatally stabs him.

So, Rezaren is a villainous slaver. Why is it, then, that people are writing reviews praising his character while calling Miriam and her party the real baddies? Why are people saying he “deserved” a redemption arc? The only assumption I can come to is simply that people are so not used to the white guy being the one to lose in the fantasy genre, that they’re willing to bend over backwards to try and paint the only white person in the show as a victim of the #mean brown woman. Think about it. How many stories are out there where the hero is a white man? White people are conditioned to always be the centre of attention, so when they’re not for a change, they need to seek it out by shining a spotlight on whatever white man they can find. This is of course nothing unique to the Dragon Age fandom, but rather a disease found in fandom spaces as a whole. Hell, look at the Star Wars sequels, and how the bizarre love for and babygirlification of Kylo Ren was so strong it led to ruining the second and third films. This is why it’s such a relief to me that Rezaren dies in the end of Absolution, because otherwise it would truly end up a fear to me that the writers would try the same with him.

When you’re pushing Rezaren into the spotlight, you are pushing Miriam out of it. And Miriam is such a treasure of a character, it’s a crying shame to see her get so much disrespect. I have nothing against people who like Rezaren, but if your like for him goes to the extent of putting down Miriam in order to put him up, then we have a problem.

[favvn]

At the risk of being a contrarian (because I have browsed the tag, I've seen the complaints), The Deadly Years isn't entirely out of character for Jim Kirk. It's just that we get to see him at his worst again.

Back in season 1, the Conscience of the King shows that he will pull rank on both Spock and McCoy--the two people on the entire ship that Kirk allows himself to be closest to--to keep them out of his life and to shut down their concerns for his well-being. Kirk is not sick or inhibited by anything in this episode (other than haunted by his past). His decision to use the Enterprise to transport the acting troupe doesn't delay a mission or risk lives outside of the Enterprise, although it does inadvertently endanger one member of his crew (Lt. Riley). In other words, he acts selfishly in this episode and lashes out towards those who want to help, much like he does in The Deadly Years.

Earlier in the season, The Galileo Seven shows that Kirk will reassert his authority as captain to put off completing a mission to deliver emergency medical supplies to Makus III and aid a colony overrun by a plague because he has "standing orders" to investigate quasars. This mission is ordered by Galactic High Commissioner Ferris, which the Enterprise is transporting to oversee the supply transfer. Ferris himself later states that he outranks Kirk and can cite regulation to support his taking command of the ship to complete the mission once Kirk makes it clear he intends to take 2 full days to locate and retrieve the Galileo's crew rather than use those days to get to Makus III. This situation is interesting in that it shows how Kirk can respond negatively to those holding authority over him, especially when those same people question his decisions. Ferris is technically correct when he argues that the Galileo did not need to be launched to begin with, given how Kirk would rather trade the life of a colony for the lives of seven crew members.

I realize TOS is inconsistent about background details with how Starfleet operates owing to its standalone story structure, and this instance of "standing orders" is yet another case of that structure hindering the world building. While Kirk doesn't follow the Prime Directive even at the best of times (best of times being the absence of a cult. I'll grant him that exception), he will ignore a high galactic commissioner to follow "standing orders" all of a sudden because, at his core, Kirk doesn't want to follow orders. He's the captain. He's supposed to be the one in charge. If he's a perfectionist (his guilt at losing crew members during missions to the point of Spock having to console him, although this also comes from his survivor's guilt from Tarsus IV), it wouldn't surprise me a bit if he has control issues alongside it. In other words, for all the good Kirk tries to do and strives to do, he is still just as capable of acting selfishly and in his own best interests, and he has done so since the start of the series.

More to the point of The Deadly Years, aging is not always painless or graceful. We get to see Kirk starting to forget recent events and commands (forgetting recent events and conversations is one of the first symptoms of Alzheimer's disease) to the point that he is an active risk to the safety of the crew. Of course, he will be in denial about it, to the point of anger and deflection. It's a painful thing to reckon with, to live in a body that doesn't work like you know it should, and to have others place judgments onto you for it because they're in perfect health. Not everyone can accept that with grace. This doesn't make Kirk out-of-character. It makes him human.

[steveshairychest]

Been seeing a lot of posts about punk Steve and I love it.

His whole life has been dedicated to pleasing his parents. He wears the clothes they put in his cupboard, he plays sports just like his dad did, he tries to keep on top of his grades but whenever he asks his parents for help they ignore him, tell him it's something he should alreadly know.

Nothing he did was ever enough.

When his grades drop and he loses interest in sports, his parents start spending more time away. He's not turning out like they hoped. He gets into fights, fails his classes and made the mistake of telling his mum he didn't want to go to college. That was it. He wasn't useful to them anymore.

He starts to hate his appearance. He looks exactly how they wanted. Prim and proper with his perfectly ironed clothes and stupid perfect hair. Nothing about his appearance was his own choosing. His dad made him get braces in middle school because he had a slightly crooked tooth, his mother made him go to the salon with her to get his eyebrows done and his lashes tinted. "You need to impress a beautiful young lady, Steven." She would say while pinching his cheek way too hard. His hair routine was also something she had drilled into his head since he was a kid because "Looks are everything, Steven." He never got a say in anything, not even what went in his own god damn closet was his own choosing.

He was only allowed to wear the latest fashion and nothing could be from last season because Mrs Harrington would be shunned by the other mother's if her son was caught wearing something out of date.

He decides to shave the sides of his head as a way to take control of his own life. Watching the hair fall to the floor is like a breath of fresh air, he inhales deeply and feels a sob catch in the back of his throat as he fixes up each side. For the first time in years, he actually likes who he sees in the mirror.

He starts to experiment with different clothing styles and finds comfort in the punk aesthetic. He flicks through countless magazines admiring the outfits and piercings and the smiles on all the model's faces. They look so free. So happy. He wants that for himself.

The next time his parents come home, Steve has dyed his hair pink with the help of his new friend Robin that he met at his new job at Scoops Ahoy. He's wearing a leather jacket with a ripped shirt underneath, Robin has just started getting him into the music side of things and the band on his shirt is his favourite. He's also wearing black jeans with giant rips that show off the small stick and poke tattoo just below his knee. Him and Robin got matching ones.

His parents stay at a motel that night and the next morning they cut him off completely but he doesn't care. He's finally found himself and he's got a new best friend that he can house hunt with.

[thekatebridgerton]

Eight deadly sins: Bridgerton partners edition

Companion piece to my 8 deadly sins Bridgerton siblings edition. So let's get started

Kate: Wrath

I think I chose her as Wrath because its the driving force behind most of her actions in TVWLM. Take playing pall mall, she doesn't want to win, she just wants Anthony to lose. Anthony pisses her off so much during their book that her almost in perpetual state of annoyance drives most of the actions she takes and also, it is often mentioned in later books, how much Anthony dreads making his wife angry. If you ask me, out of both of them it's Kate who has a tiny bit of an anger management problem. ( She's capable of ruining Maria Rosso whole career in a pique of annoyance, just sayin)

Sophie: Lust

Self explanatory. Sophie spent her entire book acutely aware that her lust for Benedict was a particularly terrible weakness of hers and as such she guarded herself against sleeping with him with all trough thick and thin. So much that when she does fall into bed with Benedict it makes her feel like she betrayed herself and makes her want to immediately run away from the situation.

Penelope: Pride

Penelope's pride was what ultimately led to her downfall. So proud of Lady Whistledown, so happy to have made a name for herself right under the ton's nose, so confident nobody would ever figure it out. Penelope likes being the smartest person in the room, she likes the invisible power her secret gives her. So much that the moment Cressida tried to take credit for LW Penelope's pride wouldn't let her get away with it! And her hurt pride also leads her to lash out at Colin when he discovers her secret. It's her life work! She's not going to let anyone minimize what she's achieved

Simon: Vanity

He does think he's hottest snack in the room and needs protection from matchmaking mamas. No Seriously all jokes aside, for someone that insecure, he does have a very high opinion of himself that borders on vanity. Simon has worked all his life to build his public image, to hide the parts of him that his father deemed undersirable and cultivate an image of aristocratic aloofness. It's Daphne seeing past all that, which makes Simon break character and start liking her

Phillip: Sloth

More like, he was content with the bare minimum, before Eloise came into his life. Most of Phillip's sins in TSPWL can be blamed on inaction, some because he didn't know what to do,(deal with the aftermath of Marina's death) others because he was too passive to actually do what needed to be done (take charge of the raising of his children) Phillip is content with inaction, with isolation and distance. That's all he's ever known. At least until Eloise lights a fire under him and pushes him to make things right

Michael: Gluttony

I guess I put Michael in this category because Gluttony is the sin of overindulgence and he's the merry rake. Michael is an overindulgent person, not just in Francesca's eyes, but also in the eyes of everyone else. Which makes it ironic that the only thing he's had restraint in, has been his desire for Francesca.

Gareth: Greed

His greed comes in good faith okay. We still love him. But truth be told he still has to replenish his family fortune by marrying an heiress and he's still looking for the family diamonds for this reason. Gareth's greed is ultimately channeled into healthy outlets but we all know that had lady Danbury left him to his own devices, he would undoubtedly have married for money

Lucy: Envy

Like Gregory, Lucy ended up getting envy by process of elimination. Which is fitting considering that while she doesn't Envy anyone's life, she does envy the fact that they have a choice in the outcome of said life. Lucy's entire life has been controlled by her uncle while Hermione and Gregory did grow up with families that let them have a choice in how they wanted their lives to be. Even Richard has more choices than she does. And Lucy envies them for this. Not to the point of wishing anyone ill, but yes to the point of trying to make sure the people she loves don't squander the chances they got, because she doesn't get to have those chances

An: honestly this post was hard because I do think all the Bridgerton partners are Angelic beings who have done nothing wrong. Still I did my best with the prompt

[candyskiez]

Thinking about Reigen telling Mob he gets taken advantage of so easily in the context of him being very aware that he's using him. Y'know how depression will tell you "well clearly if they trust me then they're stupid, they just haven't realized how awful I clearly am, how can they not see it." He can't see Mob hanging around him for years as anything other than being horribly naive and gullible, and how could he do this, but how could he let the only good thing in his life go? Like obviously Reigen doesn't mean everything or hell, even most of the things he says to Mob in that alleyway. So much of it is just him trying to tear Mob down so he doesn't leave. But I feel like the fact he targets the fact he's gullible and easy to taken advantage of is very, very telling yk. It isn't the first time he mentions Mob is easy to take advantage of. He says that Mob has a hard time standing up to people. Because he knows this. He knows it very well, and feels horrible about it, but is terrified to lose him anyway. Reigen doesn't mean the vast majority of what he says to Mob, and brings up the gullibility just to hurt him, but like. God is it very telling that he's repeatedly brought up Mob being gullible. He is very aware he's being awful to Mob, he's very aware he's taking advantage of him, and he's in too deep to take it back. And it all starts boiling over as "How the fuck can't you see it. HOW can't you see it. Why do you think I'm good. I hurt you, constantly. I am taking advantage of you. You had to give me your powers. Fucking clearly I don't have any. Why haven't you left me yet. (You're going to leave me soon. You know. You aren't that stupid. You're growing. You're realizing. You're going to figure it out. How haven't you noticed?)"

And when Mob actually starts standing up to him, when in his mind the only reason Mob stayed is because Mob didn't have anyone else and because Mob needed him, he freaks out. And he lashes out horribly. Because he knew this was going to happen but he wasn't ready yet. And it's awful to watch because it's the consequences of his own actions and it's also just. Goddamnit, why did you have to fuck yourself over. That kid cares about you so much. Why did you have to mess it up. Y'know.

And like. I feel like Reigen views himself as inherently bad. At this point, he doesn't see himself as "I am doing bad things, therefore I am bad." He sees it as "I am bad. There is nothing I can do to Not be bad." So he doesn't make much of an effort to change. He doesn't see it as something that CAN be changed. Everything he does is bad because he is a bad person. He had to realize that no, it's not something inherent. He chose to do something bad. Mob didn't finally figure out there was something Wrong with him, Mob got tired of being treated like shit. And he has to ask himself, why did I do that? If there's not something Inherently wrong with me, if I used to want to be good, if I used to want to be important and helpful, why do I do the things I do?

Because he's lonely. Because he was terrified of losing the only good thing he had. Because he wanted to matter to someone, and he didn't want Mob to care less about him now that he had other people. Because he was terrified. And because of that, he'd been selfish. He'd been manipulative and controlling. He'd let his own fears and issues turn him into just another person who hurt Mob. And maybe he can't fix this. Maybe he doesn't know if he'll ever be able to become a good person, or if he'll ever stop hurting people, or if he'll ever get his shit together. But he can say sorry, and hope Mob knows that he was wrong. Mob had grown up. Mob was so much stronger than he'd given him credit for. And he deserved to be treated better than he'd treated him for so long. He hopes Mob knows he's a good kid, and he deserves so much better than life had given him, and he's gonna be okay.

And when Mob comes back for him,he's baffled. Because he was cruel to him. He'd always been cruel to him. He didn't know how to stop. And he doesn't get it. How does Mob not know. He needs him to say it. He needs him to realize, but he's terrified. He needs Mob to yell at him. To be angry. Mob deserves to be angry, he's accepted it now. He knows Mob has every right to never want to see him again, so why would he help him? What does he have to do to make him realize?

Mob knows that Reigen is a liar, on some level, even if he won't admit it to himself yet. But Mob also knows that Reigen tries to do good. He knows that Reigen tries to fix the problems his clients have, and tries to give advice, and tries so fucking hard. He knows that Reigen can be good. And he gives him the benefit of the doubt. Because Reigen can be a good person.

Mob still is unsure at this point if Reigens care for him is real or if he just wants to use him, but he knows that Reigen wants to do good. Reigen tries. Even if he doesn't always succeed, even if Reigen has moments where he acts horribly, Reigen genuinely wants to be a good person. And when given an opportunity to help, he tries to take it.

So Mob gives him another chance. Even if Reigen feels like he doesn't deserve it, he takes it. Because he doesn't want to hurt him again. And he wants to fix this. Reigen genuinely wants to do good, even if he believes he can't.

Anyways, I'm gonna go cry now.

[9-punk]

What’s the most angsty thing about each of the stitchpunks?

1- the fact he was given one job and failed. the fact that everyone he worked so hard to lock up for safety were the only ones who died. He was always flawed. Being the first he was certainly going to be the less advanced.

2- the fact he died for someone who will forever want to die out of guilt. the fact that he always sacrificed his own safety for others and where did that get him? somewhere in the sky with his ripped apart corpse floating down a river.

Twins- they cant speak. their ability to speak wasn't deemed important to the Scientists ideas and so they never will. Who knows how much they wanted to call out for 7 when they were scared all alone in that library

5- his life was altered by one mistake, losing an eye is traumatizing but it gives a person a new perspective... didn't change the horror he saw as 2's life was taken. didn't allow him to see how stupid he was for thinking that he was safe. didn't allow him to see how foolish he was from straying from the group. but that's what he would always do. with one optic he was at a disadvantage.... and the weak stray from the group.

6- nightmares and visions all for nothing. what's the use of knowledge if you cant share it properly. spending your days wasting away repeating the same thing in hopes someone would understand. they wouldn't. Deemed less than by the group. poor 6, the war drove him to insanity. Poor 6 never to be understood.

7- she forced herself outside of the group. to be free to have some sense of control, but did she ever have that. How quickly she was to lash out or run off. while she had so much freedom she didn't know what to do.

8- he'll never be important to any of them. nothing more that 1's guard. a lap dog. cant think for himself. he's not one of them, in body and in their eyes and he KNOWS that. so he turns to his magnet and bullying. the magnet relieves the thoughts, relieves the guild relieves the pain. but he needs somewhere to put his anger so why not on others not like they can stop a big dumb oaf like him.

9- ya know for someone made to save it seems all he did was destroy. So willing to destroy himself too. a small liberty. if he sacrificed himself he wouldn't live with the guilt. he was even allowed that small mercy. who knows what the fool's thoughts were during the rain. because they certainly werent happy.

[nightcrawlerzincorporated]

I'm curious about what your opinion on dtamhd is?

I talked about it a bit when the episode first came out, but I'll summarize my thoughts for the new folk. This is all just my personal opinion/interpretation, feel free to disagree, etc etc

I really like DTAMHD! Dennis is my favorite boy and I enjoy being with him for 20 minutes and watching him bop around trying to keep his cool and be kind to people while he slowly loses his mind. I fuck very heavily with the idea that Dennis actually does try to be calm and kind most of the time, he just gets overwhelmed by his own emotions and lashes out because he has no healthy outlit or healthy coping mechanisms. And he refuses to accept help from others because he doesn't trust anyone but himself with his mind and body because growing up every adult in his life that we know of abused him in some way. So when he has a problem, like high blood pressure, he keeps it all inside and tries to deal with it himself, which just makes him more stressed and miserable. I really like all the little things in his fantasy that actually do highlight parts is his real life, like him having to be on Frank's family plan, forever tied to him and relying on him even as an adult, or him crying "nightmare nightmare please somebody help me". We love to see a man suffer on this blog. But that's the aspect of the episode people usually don't have a problem with. Let's get more controversial

My interpretation of the ending is that Dennis did not actually lower his own blood pressure, he's just so stuck in this fantasy version of his life where he has control and where things can't hurt him that he blocks out the negative information and replaces it with positive. I don't see it as a "win" for Dennis because I don't think he succeeded at all in actually changing anything. I think the fact that the gang's phone call at the end is the exact same one that's explicitly a fantasy is supposed to clue us in that this is fake too, the difference is Dennis isn't aware that it's still a fantasy because he's so wrapped up in his own idea of himself as someone who CAN lower his own blood pressure and someone who the gang needs and relies on. So he has these purposeful fantasies to help him cope, but those fantasies still bleed in to real life and color his perception of himself and the world even though he thinks to himself that he's in control of the fantasy. But much like how he can't actually control his physical health, he can't control his mental health either, and this constant fantasizing that he can do all these things has led him to see a distorted version of reality where he doesn't have to change or grow or learn. Which is kind of the core of the whole show if you think about it. I do agree completely with the criticism that Dennis actually having the ability to lower his own blood pressure is stupid, so I get hating the end if you see it as him returning to reality and being successful in his endeavors, but that's not how I see it, so it's not an issue for me.

I can also understand why people could see the heart eating scene as a serial killer Dennis thing and dislike it because of that, but that's not how I saw it at all. It's really goofy and cartoony and obviously not real when he rips the guy's heart out and eats it; it's not about killing someone (the guy doesn't even look hurt at all, he just stands there watching Dennis—I think a real murder fantasy would focus on the pain and dying but it’s not about that, it’s about defeating a metaphorical evil, not a literal man) it's about oversimplifying the world. There’s so many fun different ways you can interpret the CEO, like that he represents Dennis’ relationship with himself or with the world or with his parents, etc. I think if you detach yourself from the literal image and look at things in a more abstract, metaphorical way it makes the scene and the episode as a whole more enjoyable—but I understand that’s not something everyone is interested in doing.

That’s why it doesn’t just feel like a retelling of Glenn’s real life experience to me—I think there’s a lot of Dennis-specific ideas and systems (lol) throughout the episode that give it more symbolism and weight and makes it into a good (imo) narrative.

And I get why, if you’re the type of person who feels a Sunny season should end with a story about the entire gang, or about the gang helping one of them do something big, or something similar, DTAMHD would be disappointing, but I personally have no expectations for what a Sunny finale “should” be, so I wasn’t bothered by the fact that Dennis never opened up to anyone or had any real growth. I was just along for the ride.

I really enjoy the fact that the episode has a lot you can read into and a lot that’s open to interpretation, but that’s also the exact reason different people came away with such different views of the episode. I love when Sunny takes risks and makes unique episodes like this. And I like watching Glenn Howerton smear blood all over his mouth