#hockey jere is doing things to me

[jeres-red-g-string]

ronibackyt via IG

😮‍💨😮‍💨

[raapija]

Käärijä's Veikkaus interview, 5.5.2023

Ten Questions For Käärijä

In this interview Vantaa's most famous bowl-cut Jere Pöyhönen tells, how he thinks about his Käärijä-named alter ego and why he would sometime want to "whack" Käärijä. Furthermore, he reveals his embarrassing vice - and reminds you that in every one of us there lives a tiny Jesus.

Q1: Why do you have such a funny haircut?

"When I was in junior high, I got a bowl-cut during a break. It was on a whim. There were us two boys, who did it, and we rocked with the bowl-cuts. I've always been whimsical, a guy, who is easy to provoke. I like to try things, and I've never really been embarrassed by anything. We had a few friend groups in Vantaa, with who I hung out with, and I was always the clown in the group. I like to make others laugh and I also like to laugh at myself. The others laughed with me, not at me - or that's atleast what I like to believe!"

Q2: So, Vantaa - you're a born and bred Vantaa-citizen. What does Vantaa mean to you?

"Quite a lot actually. I think that Vantaa is an under-dog kinda place. It reflected, for example, in hockey, which I used to play a lot. When we played against Espoo, it had emotion! The deal is, in fact, that Vantaa-people hate people from Espoo! [laughter] People from Vantaa are somehow more real than Espoo-citizens or people from Helsinki, more honest. If a Vantaa-person doesn't have money, then for fuck's sake they don't have money, they won't try to hide it, like Espoo-people do. Indeed, Vantaa is the place to be. Or at least the Tikkurila hoods, Myyrmäki on the other hand... We totally aren't any kind of a big and happy family in Vantaa. [laughter] East- and West-Vantaa are completely different things, kinda like the Bronx and Brooklyn. Actually I'm from Ruskeasanta, and for example Ruskeasanta's or 'Rusa' 's Shell (a gas station) has been a significant place in my life. We used to go there with friends on our mopeds and drink coffee and tea, fool around, bully vocational school students."

Q3: Wait a minute, you've gone to vocational school, too, but you aren't a student who drives around Tikkurila, around the local blocks?

"I haven't really driven there, maybe a couple times. But I haven't been serious about it in that way. I've never been a car-person, more of a moped-person, and that moped I liked more to tune and decorate, than to drive. I painted, tuned and tinkered with it. I, for example, melted Legos on the covering so I could get more plastic on them - no-one could ever guess, what color moped I'd come to school with."

"In my opinion, vocational school was more of a lifestyle than one going to vocational school. Students drove from gas station to gas station and went to Jumbo (a mall) with driving gloves on. I would rather stay at home to sleep and play Habbo Hotel. Sometimes I'd go to meets (meeting organized by youth to come show off their mopeds), and those were fun, but to those, too, we went with a few friends to laugh at the other dudes. [laughter] If I would now go to Rusa's Shell, I hope people would react to me positively. I'm still nevertheless on their side.

Q4: What kind of memories do you have from Vantaa's Tulisuudelma (a pub, restaurant and music venue)?

"There I didn't go a lot. I was more often at Porkku (Pormestari, a nightclub that has since closed). The few times I was at Tulisuudelma, I sang karaoke. Vesku's 'Hyvää Puuta', that was my favorite. But Porkku was, at least in my mind, Tikkurila's most popular bar. It was a bit like Pinkku (a restaurant called Pingviini), but the cooler guys went to Porkku. [laughter] Yeah, vocational school students went to Pinkku. It might be, that 'Cha Cha Cha' is about a night in Porkku. There I have my first bar-memories. It became my own little home, where all the friends in town came to."

"'Cha Cha Cha' represents dancing, and dancing represents freedom for me. That, that you have to be able to not be afraid to dance without thinking what the others think, even without drugs. You can see it as a drinking song also, I don't care about interpretations, but to me, it represents a lot more also. I want to encourage people to break free, because it's not about how well you can dance, it's about how you carry yourself. I'm not the most skilled singer, rapper or artist. But I believe in this thing, this madness, and I put 150 points on it. It creates the aesthetic, that he is just crazy and a star, even though really I'm just a regular dude from Vantaa."

Q5: The song lasts 2 minutes and 55 seconds. Because of those shy of a three minutes you'll soon go on a long trip abroad to perform. What does that feel like?

"As a thought it's damn crazy. How much work - hours, days, weeks, months - and then it's over. Those are probably my life's most important 2 minutes and 55 seconds. I think, that Käärijä is going on a little trip, does what he does best and it goes just the way it is meant to go. Everything doesn't even need to be so fucking thought out and perfect. It needs a bit of improv, my own style. Because I don't like to be bound."

Q6: You're a pop-star and many people have put a lot of money into your career. Isn't it inevitable, that in some way, you are bound?

"Yeah, that's exactly true. I've had had to work on that. I avoid it, when people tell me things and try to get me to do stuff, that I don't stand behind. It's been hard learning to say no, but it has been a necessary skill. Those people do see Käärijä as a product. It feels like a crazy thought - I'm like a walking billboard. But I'm a human and I have to do my own stuff, my own values, and not be with a note on my forehead saying 'buy this' or 'I'm selling this'."

"I've gone along with a couple things, but those have been the kind that benefit me. I want to rip out everything from those guys - the record label, ad-collabs and everything, and secure it that I'm not being fucked over. This is a rough business. People want a piece of Käärijä, which they can benefit from, so I have to be really alert. And not everything can be measured in wealth. For example, I've done stuff for charity."

Q7: Many of the stories about you are headlined "Jere from Vantaa", and that's the way you seem like: a nice basic dude. How does that nice basic dude handle all that hassle?

"At the beginning, not so well. I'm humble, and I still have a lot to learn about a certain type of roughness. You have to know your value and value yourself. Who am I, where do I belong, what do I want from life - I think about these and develop all the time. But it's not easy when the big bosses come to say how things are. Then you just have to stay tough and argue against them."

"The piss hasn't got up to my head, because I'm not 20 anymore. If all this had happened at that age, I would most definitely be an asshole. I can differentiate Jere from Käärijä. If on the streets someone films me, or someone sends me suggestive messages on instagram, I know that those are meant for Käärijä, not Jere. They don't really even know Jere, in a way."

"Jere sometimes wonders on red carpets abroad 'why am I here?'. It sometimes feels like a ridiculous circus show - even though I obviously enjoy it and value it. Byt my morals lie elsewhere. I don't appreciate people if they have some great job and money, that doesn't interest me at all. People shouldn't be seen as products, but people should be seen as people and appreciated the way they are. That's why it feels so weird when people go nuts sometimes about this Käärijä-thing, start to cry when they see me. In Madrid one guy fainted because they saw me! It was at the same time like wow, we had created something that had caused this kind of a reaction. But at the same time I think 'what the fuck just happened to you?'."

Q8: What sort of a relationship does Jere have with Käärijä?

"A really good one, mainly. We have a lot in common. In a way I'm a Käärijä-fan because I have to like the thing I'm doing, and in my mind we're making the best shit in Finland ever. But sometimes, when there's so much of this Käärijä-stuff, I'd like to whack that Käärijä: every time I come home and look in the mirror, there that bowl-cut is. Then I miss it, when I could go as Jere to the shop and be Jere to the people and not everyone would circle around Käärijä: how are you, how are you managing, how's the gigs, how's the music - fuck it. Let's talk about the weather!"

"Käärijä is also an armor. If someone asks to put on the bolero and go lay around for those photos, Käärijä will do it. Jere might not. With Käärijä I'm able and not afraid to do things. But the way that everyone right now wants to benefit from Käärijä, is of course sometimes heavy - and that's Käärijä's fault! He fucking did it! [laughter]"

Q9: If you could choose anyone to go in a sauna with, living or dead, who would you choose?

"That's a tough one. I'm a fan of Rammstein like crazy and I can relate to (the singer) Till Lindeman. But they say he's a really stiff guy. We probably wouldn't have a lot of conversation in the sauna..."

"If Jesus is really a real person in history, I'd maybe choose Jesus. I'd like to discuss with him: what all did he do, what kind of a guy he was. I'm really interested in that. Was he a regular fellow like all the rest of us?"

"I believe, that in all of us, there lives a tiny Jesus. I mean that I don't believe we're just a brain and a lump of meat. We're so much more. I don't necessarily mean supernatural things, but that there's something else, something that we can't reach with our level of consciousness. I don't believe in coincidences. There's always a reason why things go this or that way."

Q10: Do you have some secret or habit that you're embarrassed about so much that you wouldn't want to tell of it to anyone?

"I don't really have skeletons in my closet like that... Well, this is a bit dumb, but the thing that I'm sometimes afraid to do, is: I like to put ketchup on everything. I put ketchup in meat soup, too. Once I was in a fancy steak restaurant, a great steak in front of me, and I thought, damn I'd kill for some ketchup now. But there were people around, certain type of steak enthusiasts, that I couldn't do it, because people would've judged it really hard. Yeah, maybe it's about being from Vantaa! [laughter]"

Käärijä's make-up and hair: Tiia Loikkanen

Photography digitech: Pauli Boström

Photography: Ville Malja

Original writer: Jose Riikonen

[korvessa]

You always get me some surprise

“You always get me some surprise” 

this actually hits so hard. I have been thinking this comment since I saw this video right after Eurovision final. This comment is why I can’t take seriously when people try to analyse their friendship by using social media interactions, OF ALL THINGS, as their tools and proof. 

We do not know shit. We did not know that Bojan always has some surprises to Jere. We do not know what happens behind the cameras.

Remember that interview where Bojan said that one of the reasons why Jere and Bojan gets along so well because Jere felt comfortable with Bojan and that it was important to Bojan to make Jere feel comfortable and safe because everyone tried to get a piece of Käärijä [which we know overwhelmed him]. Maybe that’s the reason why Bojan’s social media behavior is so low-key. Or maybe he is just a private person with his friends and family (very likely). At the same time people were/are accusing that Bojan was/is using Käärijä as PR to Joker Out’s Eurovision journey/today’s success. There is no win-win situation to him. That’s why I can’t help but to roll my eyes when people analyse some Instagram likes/comments/whatever.

Some of the cutest things that we know what has happened between these two we have heard it by accident. Oh Jere gave Bojan his rare hockey jersey? Bojan recorded bunch of Käärijä’s songs in Serbian festival? Bojan being there for Jere after losing Eurovison even though he was very very disappointed in their own results? Bojan always gets Jere some surprises?  

[frikatilhi]

RAWRRRR!!! *kicks in the walls of your ask box*

One thing that hasn’t left me alone lately is that effin hockey wife jersey saga

”Hei Bojan, I only know you one month but I think you veri gud guy, so I give you this veri rare hockey jersi, only four jersis like this. Yes yes your eyes look veri pretty with the colours.”

”Oh thanks bro, you’re always such a good bro!” *dies inside*

And then there’s that one pic of Bojan where you can partially see the jersey, and it was taken in Liverpool (I think). So Bojan just wore the jersey while being out, proudly showing it to everyone?? Imagine the other JO guys’ (and everyone else’s) reactions when they heard about this, the side-eyes that were given…

And then Jere’s friends: ”Hey dude, where’s your Pasivision jersey? You know those jerseys we custom made just for the four of us?”

”Oopsie, I give it to the Bojan. You know the Bojan? The Bojan is veri beutiful and hot singer from Slovenia, he my puppy brader boyfriend, yes veri gud guy…” *rambles on*

*crickets and side-eyes*

That’s the ask press send and do what you will with it

Do what you will? Well, at first I'm going to stare at a wall for 3-5 hours thinking about this. It truly is something that keeps me up at night...

It's such a high school boyfriend move!!! What was he thinking!!! Especially that it was HIS jersey and when his friends ask where it is he's like "yeah, I gave it to this dude I just met, idk I have a good feeling about him", like?????

And you cannot convince me that Bojan isn't sleeping in it. Or maybe he has a big teddy bear that wears it that he can cuddle at night.

[follivora]

Part 2 of fic recs, cooperation with @wednesdayday :

Bojan/Jere edition

I'm reading your lips, I know what your type is

uni au, deaf Jere, the cutest and angstiest shit ever, love this so much

Fortnite Dances on Your Dick

@tama-gucci wrote this masterpiece and I’m not telling you anything more, just go and read it

Ugly beautiful

still a work in progress, but oh boy oh boy one of the best ones ever

Enough

tbh I don’t remember this one that much, but it was the first one I ever read and it was special

Come back, be here

this one is loooooong but it was published like every three days and I’ve got such a fond memories for it, it’s so so so so good

Put Me Together, Thread a Needle

HOCKEY FUCKING AU, probably in my top 3, it’s gonna make you feel everything

Midsummer Madness series

arguably the best series in the fandom, arguably one of the best things I’ve ever read, my personal favorite, I do wish to hug the author and praise them forever

Born From Sea Foam

LOVED THE first two chapters, I do feel a little bit lost after the third one but it’s still very good nonetheless, can’t wait for more!!! Bojan and Jere meet on holiday!

Never getting sick (of you)

fucking cute cute cute

Melting like an ice-cream (when you smile)

are you interested in ice cream porn?

I can start the game (won't mind if you finish it)

this is just straight up naughty, I LOVE IT

The story of love (that hurts)

this one is incredibly angsty and it gets worse before it gets better, but it was very well written!!!

When the night falls (stars in your eyes and sea in mine)

holiday AU!!! It’s a WIP and I love it, also it’s got a tiny bit of Jan/Bojan but it fits into the story well

[mitochondriencocktail]

For the kiss prompt … 11 & 12? 🥺

doing these in reverse because i want them to be happy HAHA Decided to randomly pull from the unwritten nerd!bojan x hockey player!jere college au that's just chilling in pieces on my drive i hope that's ok ;o;

12... in grief

Bojan's heart falls to the floor as the words tumble out of his mouth.

I think we should break up.

Katrina, too patient, too understanding, too kind, had given Bojan a teary-eyed smile when he told her. She isn't stupid, she'd seen the growing distance between them. The way he and Jere had become inexplicably closer over the last several months.

Kat knocks their foreheads together, the dorm bed creaking with age.

“Fuck you, Bojan Cvjetićanin.”

“Well, probably not anymore.”

She lets out a sob of a laugh and Bojan opens his arms, letting Kat rest her weight on him. A familiar comfort to them both. 

After a moment of silence: “Is it him?”

Bojan stiffens.

“Yeah.”

“I can’t believe I lost you to a hockey player,” she snorts through her tears.

“You didn’t lose me,” he says. “Just… recalibrating our relationship.”

“Okay, Mr. Sociology degree.”

“I still love you. Just... in a way that might be a bit different than we were both expecting.”

A sigh. Kat rolls over so she can stare at the ceiling again.

“I love you, too.”

After Kat leaves, the weight of it all sinks in. The grief of heartbreak tears through him.

Bojan opens his phone.

Bojan: you free?

Jere: what’s up jokerman Jere: yes always for you ♥️😉 Jere: Bojan?

Bojan: Kat and i broke up

Jere: oh Jere: shit Jere: I am sorry 😟 Jere: you want me come over? Bojan: no i’m ok Bojan: i mean i’m not ok but i’m ok Bojan: just wanted someone to talk with Bojan: if you’re ok just texting? Jere: bojan keep me company while i finish homework 🥰

Bojan: haha what’re you working on?

Jere: [img_3452] Jere: medieval art paper 😔 Jere: idk why they make me take class

Bojan: LOL

Jere: not funny!! I suffering Jere: fuck off bojan Jere: sori Jere: i take it back

Bojan: no it’s ok it was funny

Jere: bojan think i’m funny 🥰🥰🥰 Jere: big mistake Jere: can i come over?

He hesitates, but manages to remain firm. Not tonight. His heart is still raw.

Bojan: i think i just need the room to myself Bojan: but tomorrow for sure let’s hang out

Jere: okei Jere: tomorrow yes promise ❤️😘

Bojan: Promise ❤️

11... in joy

The trek back isn’t long but the silence stretches between them, random chatter about the project, a few comments about the party. No mention of girls or dates or hurt feelings. When they get to Bojan’s apartment, Jere lingers, so Bojan beckons him in. 

“You should drink some water after that keg stand.” 

Jere beams as he’s handed a glass while seated on the couch. “You see me do it?” 

“You were the only thing anybody could stare at while it was happening.” 

A flush creeps across Jere’s face. He hides his smile in a sip of water, face obscured by the cup, but the crinkles around his eyes that stay trained on Bojan say otherwise. 

“Do…” Bojan flounders. He has the advantage of self-awareness in the situation, but he’s turning over every possible outcome. Analyzing. Assessing. 

Or, as Jere’s about to put it— “Bojan look like he need to shit.” 

“Oh fuck off,” Bojan says, cushioning it with a laugh as he catches the slight wince in Jere’s expression. 

He wipes a hand down his face, reaches for his book on the coffee table, and plops bodily down onto the couch, swinging his legs up and into Jere’s lap. 

“Do…?” Jere prods him. 

“I was going to ask if you wanted to stay, but,” Bojan motions to where his legs are occupying Jere’s lap, “I’ve decided you have no choice in the matter now.” 

Jere stares at Bojan. 

He looks up at him, still dejected, and sees it: this hasn’t clicked for Jere yet.

Jere rubs a hand along Bojan’s shin and breaks the eye contact with a giggle. He leans his head back on the couch and smiles. They sit in comfortable silence as Bojan thumbs through his book, letting the words on the page wash him away. 

“You going to go on new dates now?”

Bojan sets the book down. Stifles a sigh. Resists the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose. He’s going to really do this, isn’t he? 

“Well, I actually have a study date with some weird guy from the hockey team."

Jere’s hand that had been, up until then, rubbing up and down Bojan’s shin goes still. With a comically suspicious look, he regards Bojan; eyes narrowed, an open look of concentration. 

“Is… it’s me? Are you talking about me?” 

Jere does not make this easy. 

“Yeah,” Bojan nods. “I-“ Words catch in his throat. “I think we should try to make some headway on our project.” 

“Oh,” Jere nods, simple as that. “Okei.”

C’mon, please, figure it out, Bojan thinks.

He beams at Bojan, entirely unselfconscious, unaware. 

“Maybe we get lunch before? I have practice in morning.” And just like that, he’s switched gears. Bouncing and thrumming. 

“Sure,” Bojan nods, opening his book up again, but he can’t focus on a single word. Not when his heart is racing like this. “Yeah, we can do lunch.” 

“Maybe dinner too?” his voice is hesitant but inquiring, the sound of gears grinding evident in his head.

“Yeah, Jere, we can do dinner together too.” Bojan thinks he might be going insane and it’s all thanks to one Finnish exchange student.

"That make me so happy," Jere cheeses suddenly, a dreamy expression on his face, the faintest flush of alcohol on his cheeks. Bojan watches as Jere works through the final stretch of this puzzle in real time. He stares at Bojan with those unwavering, attentive eyes, surfacing suddenly from underneath the murk of his emotions. He flits between shock and confusion and amusement in a span of seconds, ending up with an expression that looks like he's been sucker punched right between the sternum.

"Oh," Jere breathes out.

Joy simmers between them.

The book falls to the floor. Bojan's drawing in his legs from Jere's lap. Clambering forward on all fours across the couch.

He leans in and kisses Jere.

[mogoce-nocoj]

prompt: ice skating, but bojan does not know how to skate

aw thank you so much for this prompt, writing it was really a lot of fun. there's no way I couldn't use bojere for this one 💚

So. Bojan might’ve, uh. Underestimated his abilities. In a very crucial way.

He probably should’ve thought about his ice skating abilities before enthusiastically agreeing to accompany Jere to the ice rink. But Jere had looked at him with such big and pleading eyes that Bojan had very conveniently forgotten to mention that his practical knowledge about skating was — not good. Virtually non-existent, one might even say.

Which leads him to his current predicament. That is, his ass on the ice, his face flushed and warm and Jere above him, laughing at him as if Bojan on the ice was the funniest thing he’s seen in a while. (Which it very well could be, Bojan reasons, not yet daring to stand up again. Who knows how ridiculous he’s looking right now.)

“Bojan — Bojan not know how to skate,” Jere says, snorting, not being able to contain himself. And yeah, Bojan recognises, maybe there really is something funny about him falling flat on his face surrounded by Finnish people looking at him like he’s a fish out of water. Because they’re probably born with skates already attached to their feet. Okay, yeah, he’s exaggerating. But he’s also cold and wet and his ass — hurts. And not in the good way.

“Thanks, Mr former professional ice hockey player,” he teases eventually as Jere doesn’t seem to be making a move to actually, y'know. Help him. “Can you help me or do you just want to stand there and laugh at my misery?”

Jere is still giggling as he grabs Bojan’s outstretched hand, forcefully pulling him up before gently placing him back on his feet. He starts skating around him and Bojan doesn’t even try to move because he’s sure that only one wrong move is enough for them both to end up tangled together on the ice.

(On second thought, he maybe wouldn’t mind that actually. Hm.)

Stopping in front of him again, Jere gives him one critical look out of his icy-blue eyes (Hah. See what he did there? At least his brain still seems to be working properly.)

“I’ll help you,” Jere states with a mischievous expression on his face. He slings an arm around Bojan’s hip, turning him around. The other hand is softly pressing against his back.

“Oh, how generous of you,” Bojan replies, trying to ignore the heat that rises to his face as Jere lightly strokes his hip before strengthening his grip on it.

“One arm around me, okei?”

Bojan does as he’s told but not before looking at Jere, suggestively raising his eyebrows.

“Bossy.”

“Shut up, Bojan.” Jere laughs again, increasing the pressure on his back and hip and, yep, okay, he’s definitely the one in control here.

Wobbling forwards, Bojan feels again like he’s slipping but Jere’s grasp on him is firm and steadying and so he feels pretty much like he’s being more or less dragged along. Or rather, shoved along, to be more precise.

“First move one foot, then second,” Jere instructs as they glide along the ice and Bojan really tries his best but Jere’s limbs are quite distracting. The hand on his back moves further down until it has reached his ass. Jere squeezes it once, nearly making Bojan lose his balance again, before his hand is back on his upper body, holding him in place.

“Do you want us to fall down?” Bojan huffs, clinging onto the body next to him.

Jere only shrugs, licking his lips. “Maybe. I think Bojan likes being down on the floor.”

And oh, the game is on.

Innocently, Bojan pulls on the fabric of Jere’s shirt, making him stumble.

“Sorry,” he apologises, giving him his best shining smile. “It felt like I was gonna slip if I didn’t hold onto you.”

Jere rolls his eyes, immediately clocking what Bojan is trying to do. He lightly shoves him forward, loosening his hold on both, his hip and his back.

“Oops! I lose Bojan!”

And then it happens — Bojan leans backwards, trying to reach Jere and overbalances, loosing his footing. Jere doesn’t quite manage to catch him and is dragged down with him, although not as violently as Bojan.

And Bojan is back where he started — with his ass on the ice and Finns staring at him with bewilderment in their eyes. This time, however, Jere is on the ice next to him, still laughing but with such cheerful glee that Bojan can’t help but laugh with him until they’re both breathless and he can feel ice soaking through his jeans, leaving an unpleasant wetness on his skin.

After they’ve both stopped giggling like schoolchildren, Jere gets up effortlessly, holding out his hand to Bojan. And when Bojan grabs it, strong fingers entwining his wet and cold ones, he thinks that there are really better activities out there to warm him up again than to try and continue to improve his skating abilities.

“You know what? Let’s come back here again later,” he suggests innocently. Jere only looks at him, flushed face and shivering, and smiles, obviously perfectly content to postpone their ice skating adventures.

[thrashermaxey]

Ramblings: Washington Forces Game 7; Marian Hossa; Free Agency; Power Plays – May 22

Game 6 between Washington and Tampa Bay was everything a playoff game, and specifically an elimination game, fans want it to be. It was end-to-end action despite the lack of goals, lots of physicality, great goaltending, and fingernails bitten down to nubs. It was undoubtedly one of the best games of the playoffs.

Both Andrei Vasilevskiy and Braden Holtby were excellent in this game, with the latter managing a 3-0 shutout to get us to a Game 7. If that game is anything like this game, Caps and Bolts fans may not have a non-gray hair left on their collective heads. 

TJ Oshie scored a power-play goal late in the second period that would stand as the game-winner. Devante Smith-Pelly added a tally midway though the third period for the added insurance with Oshie scoring an empty-netter. 

The top lines came to play for Washington as Ovechkin, Vrana, Oshie, and Kuznetsov all had at least four shots on goal. It was also a great game from Nick Backstrom in all facets. 

Whatever the outcome, this has been a great series. Strap in for Wednesday night, everyone. 

*

There was an interesting document posted by Matt Cane yesterday on Twitter. Cane is an editor at Hockey Graphs and does a lot of work on NHL contracts, namely in predicting length and value. Every year, he posts his model’s prediction of free agent contracts. You can go through his google doc here and he composed a tweet thread to explain some updates to this model.

This is a good starting point for those in cap leagues that are going to begin their preparations for next year shortly. I also recommend reading Alex MacLean’s ‘Capped’ sections. There was a good read last week on guys who were injured last year and what to do with their contracts.

These are always good discussion points. Here are a few guys that stuck out to me.

James van Riemsdyk

Coming off seasons of 29 goals and 36 goals, I’m sure most people are expecting him to get something like TJ Oshie got last year. Or maybe a shorter term for a higher AAV. Cap league keeper owners of JvR would likely be thrilled if he was given a short term at a reasonable AAV of about $5.3M.

  William Karlsson

The hockey world is waiting with impatience to see what a player with no track record of high-level production putting up a 43-goal, 78-point performance being due an RFA contract will get. A month ago, I intimated that his contract could be similar to what Jonathan Marchessault received, if only a bit higher AAV. Mr. Cane’s model seems to agree. Repeating 40+ goals will be near impossible, but that contract would be fine if he settles into the 20-25 goal, 55-60 point range.

  Jason Zucker

SOMEONE SEND ZUCKER AN OFFER SHEET.

  Jacob Trouba

The Jets have some work to do this summer. Both Trouba and Connor Hellebuyck need new contracts, they have a lot of guys in their bottom-six that need new deals or need to be replaced, and they’re a year away from having to sign Patrik Laine and Kyle Connor to, presumably, long-term deals. Not to mention this is the last year of Blake Wheeler’s contract and he’ll be 32 years old. They have most of their core locked up already and I don’t think they want to go through more negotiations with Trouba like they have in the past. A one-year deal would be great for Winnipeg, but seeing as Trouba has one season with 30 points in five years, now might be the time to lock him up long-term. If he breaks out for 44 points or something this year, he’ll be a lot more expensive 12 months from now.

  John Carlson

I like John Carlson a lot as a defenceman and think he comes in somewhere close to the number listed in the google doc, but man that feels like a mistake waiting to happen. The team that signs him to that deal will need him to be their sure-fire top blue liner in all phases, and can he do that for eight more years? He’s still only 28 so maybe he can do it until he’s 35. What do you Dobber heads think?  

*

A couple weeks ago, I wrote about how Vegas wasn’t a team of misfits. There were a lot of good players that ended up on that roster. No, I didn’t think they’d even make the playoffs even with that roster, but to pretend they were given bags of garbage is misguided. Two things can be true simultaneously: that there are good players on a roster and that roster wasn’t seen as good enough for playoff qualification. I know, crazy, right?

Something else to take issue with: that the rules were setup to give Vegas a good team. Again, they were going to get good players: they were going to get one of Marc-Andre Fleury or Matt Murray from Pittsburgh, they were going to get one of James Neal or Calle Jarnkrok from Nashville, they were going to get a good defenceman from Anaheim, etc. But remember this:

Vegas' playoff run and means of player acquisition:

#1 scorer: trade #2 scorer: trade #3 scorer: trade #4 scorer: draft #5 scorer: trade #6 scorer: trade #1 scoring defenseman: trade #1 goaltender and probable MVP: trade

— Travis Yost (@travisyost) May 20, 2018

Other teams tried to take advantage of Vegas with their cap space and ability to take bad contracts. The Islanders wanted to get rid of Mikhail Grabovski, the Blue Jackets wanted to get rid of David Clarkson, the Panthers (for some unknown reason) wanted to get rid of Reilly Smith. The NHL forced teams to give up a middle-of-the-roster player, but they didn’t force teams to make all these trades. If fans should get angry at anyone, they should get mad at the awful general managers and penny-pinching owners.

Will some franchises learn from this the next time expansion comes around (they better be named the Seattle Krakens)? Some will. Some won’t. Kudos to George McPhee, though. He used cap space as the asset he should have and the roster is now setup to be a playoff contender for years.

Also, this is not an embarrassment for the league. The GMs? Sure. Not the league. I’m not a television production expert but having Vegas in the Cup Final instead of Winnipeg should bring many more eyeballs to the television. This is one of the biggest stories in the sports world at the moment. Can an expansion team pull off the seemingly impossible? That’s something that will draw viewers.

Just enjoy the ride.

*

It was announced that Marian Hossa will indeed retire from the NHL that he will let his contract run through. If someone more familiar with the CBA wants to chime in please do so in the comments but I think that lets them put him on the LTIR and not endure cap penalties.

You can read Dobber’s take on his retirement in that link.

I remember like 10-11 years ago when I was talking NHL with a friend of mine and Hossa’s name came up. I wasn’t a big fan of his back then, so my friend asked me, “name 10 wingers better than him right now.” I think I came up with about five or six at the time. It was then that I realized just how good he was.

Hossa’s first full season was 1998-99. His last full season was 2016-17. In that span, he posted the third-most goals (525, behind Jarome Iginla and Alex Ovechkin), the ninth-most assists (608, just 19 behind Iginla despite 100 fewer games played), and the fourth-most points (1133, behind Joe Thornton, Iginla, and Jaromir Jagr). Though he didn’t really garner the reputation until the latter half of his career (to my recollection, anyway), he was regarded as an elite defensive winger as well. Not only do we have a career where Hossa was one of the absolute elite offensive players, he was considered among the elite defensive players as well.

People may point to the lack of Selke Trophies as if it were some determination of his defensive value, but the fact is wingers just don’t win the award. The last winger to be named the NHL’s top two-way forward was Jere Lehtinen in 2002-03, and he’s the only one to win it this century. A winger has won the Selke nine times and seven of them were by Lehtinen and Bob Gainey back when the trophy was first introduced. It just doesn’t happen.

Regardless of where you stand on Hossa as a defensive winger (I think he’s one of the best of this generation), the offensive stats don’t lie. He’s truly one of the top talents on the wing we’ve seen enter the NHL, from an offensive perspective, in the last couple decades. If you’re among the people who think he was an elite defensive winger as well, you then start to wonder if not only does he belong in the Hall of Fame (he absolutely does) but where he stands in the pantheon of elite wingers in the history of the game.

*

Last week was spent discussing the changing trends in five-on-five shooting. The most important takeaways were that not only are shot attempt rates increase significantly league-wide, but shooting percentages also rose despite a larger percentage of the actual shot on goal increase coming from defencemen than forwards.

This week, the power play.

Last month, the topics of goal scoring from defencemen on the power play as well as power-play time allocation were already covered. Those are good primers to peruse before going further here.

With power-play allocation to defencemen decreasing, we would expect a big decline in total shots on goal by defencemen to decline. This is what it looks like (data from Natural Stat Trick and all power play strengths included):  

Notice the uptick this season. Despite a lower percentage of power-play minutes given to defencemen from all available PP minutes (as outlined in the link a couple paragraphs above), and a decline in total minutes from 2016-17 (a little over 17 564) to 2017-18 (a shade under 17 000), we had more shots on goal. Here’s the thing: we had fewer shot attempts in 2017-18 (6543) than in 2017-18 (6731), but more shots on goal. The shots on goal difference isn’t overly significant, but it’s just curious what happened. Is it related to strategy i.e. were penalty killers more willing to let 50-foot slap shots through and instead tried to take away half-wall one-timers or climbers? Were defencemen focusing less on a getting a booming shot off and instead trying to thread the needle? Given the difference is so small, is it just random?

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that as defencemen have been taking fewer shots, league-wide power-play conversions have been rising. In 2013-14, teams converted on 17.89 percent of man advantages, according to Hockey Reference. In 2015-16, that was 18.66 percent, rising over 20 percent last year. The old adage of “get traffic, hammer the puck, drive in rebounds” maybe isn’t the ideal way to go. There is obviously more than one way to score a goal but teams seem to be focusing more on half-wall one-timers, wingers climbing down the half-wall with options, cross-seam passes, or redirections at the side of the net.

There will be a bit more written on this subject later this week.

*

Speaking of power plays, a good read from Ryan Stimson on how a power play ran from behind the net would work. These are always fascinating articles because thinking outside the box (literally, in this case) is a way to get ahead of the curve. As I mentioned earlier, power plays are incredibly efficient right now but as Mr. Stimson points out in his article, with everyone adopting a 1-3-1 setup, teams know what’s coming. Maybe some teams will look to change things up in the next couple seasons?

from All About Sports https://dobberhockey.com/hockey-rambling/ramblings-capsbolts-game-6-marian-hossa-free-agency-power-plays-may-22/

[othersportsnews-blog]

What do athletes do when they have to pee for the duration of video games?

New Post has been published on https://othersportsnews.com/what-do-athletes-do-when-they-have-to-pee-for-the-duration-of-video-games/

What do athletes do when they have to pee for the duration of video games?

This story appears in ESPN The Magazine’s Entire body Difficulty 2017. Subscribe currently!

AS JORDAN GROSS jogged off the area at Lender of The usa Stadium in opposition to the Giants, Panthers supporters cheered and high-fived him without the need of recognizing exactly where by he was headed.

Gross just could not dismiss the urge any for a longer period. It’s possible it was the humidity or all that sweet tea, but in 2013, after a 10 years of enjoying tackle in Carolina, Gross experienced last but not least achieved his lavatory breaking stage. It truly is easy math, genuinely: Gamers consume gallons of water but won’t be able to depart the area for even thirty seconds for fear of a turnover going on midstream. Over the many years, Gross experienced tried each and every strategy NFL gamers and other hyper-hydrated athletes use to surreptitiously relieve by themselves for the duration of video games. He’d experimented with the time-honored slow release into his pants, but they were being white, for starters, and it just remaining Gross emotion soggy and slow. He kind of appreciated the “T-Pee curtain” process, likely inside a hut of towels or parkas. But stressing that his teammates would prank him by going for walks absent midflow occasionally gave Gross stage fright — aka paruresis, or what urologists refer to as “ballpark bladder.” His restricted pants, no-fly spandex and all the tape on his gloved arms and mangled fingers designed it cumbersome to kneel driving the bench and pee into a cup (a process that was so well known among the his teammates that rookies often experienced a tricky time differentiating which cups contained true Gatorade).

And so, in a single of the last property video games of his occupation, for the duration of a Tv set timeout with the defense on the area, the 3-time Professional Bowl blocker figured he experienced absolutely nothing to lose — he would proudly march off the area toward a small lavatory used generally by area team, where by for when he could pee in peace.

Or so he believed. Inside the lavatory, Gross was virtually straight away slip-sliding about the polished concrete floor in his cleats and struggling mightily with his gloves and pants. When his sweaty, filthy shoulder pads bumped the temple of a lover in a Cam Newton jersey next to him, Gross realized appropriate urinal etiquette necessary him to try small talk.

“Heck of a match,” Gross blurted with a nod to the dumbfounded lover.

“The man is staring at me, and I’m completely conscious of how strange this circumstance is, and now it’s all delaying the pee procedure,” states Gross, who, sources say, was in far too substantially of a hurry to clean his arms. “Bad man almost certainly paid a fortune for a area go for the reason that he preferred to know what it was like driving the scenes at a large-time sporting occasion. Nicely, now he is familiar with.”

Former Panthers tackle Jordan Gross was no lover of the slow-release process well known among the many of his brethren. Streeter Lecka/Getty Photographs

THE SHEER FREQUENCY and impressive pull of the pee break will make urine possibly the most influential and disruptive liquid in sporting activities. In simple fact, the most fundamental of bodily functions is these a strong power that it causes even the most disciplined, experienced bodies in the globe to do some wonderfully strange and occasionally revolting issues. “Each individual solitary athlete has to deal with this in a distinct way, but a single point is the same: No a single ever talks about it,” states Jocelyne Lamoureux-Davidson of the U.S. women’s nationwide hockey group. “It truly is a rather common point we all share, relative to everybody: Absolutely everyone has to go.”

In 2012, Angels pitcher Jered Weaver was just 3 outs from a no-hitter when faced with that acquainted conundrum. To everyone’s terrific shock, Weaver dismissed more than a century of baseball superstition and bolted off the bench and down into the clubhouse lavatory with his knees pinched. That’s just how ferocious nature’s simply call can be: Sports immortality suddenly pales in comparison to the sweet reduction that arrives with release. Weaver, although, returned to the mound and, unburdened, put absent 3 more batters to come to be the tenth pitcher in Angels heritage to throw a no-hitter.

By having reduction responsibilities into his possess arms, Weaver designed a decision that validated a groundbreaking paper published the same yr by Brown University. In it, neurology professor Pete Snyder found that the unpleasant need to have to urinate impairs bigger-purchase cognitive functions — issues like speedy decision-building, challenge-solving and performing memory — on a degree analogous with drunken driving.

“Consider you happen to be an athlete, you’ve just eaten a preposterous quantity of liquid on a sizzling working day, you won’t be able to get off the area and you happen to be in horrible pain,” Snyder states. “When we’re in pain, our initial reaction is to act like any other animal and reduce the pain and get out of harm’s way no make a difference what.”

Snyder clarifies that there are centers deep inside of the brain that maintain homeostasis, or normal bodily functions these as respiratory, heartbeat and urination. The pain and disruption prompted by keeping urine for far too extended essentially sets off alarms that dampen cognitive things to do in the frontal lobes — the kinds athletes in particular depend on — in purchase for the body to manage more proximal issues.

Snyder fed his subjects 250 milliliters of water (around 8.five ounces) each and every 15 minutes right until they achieved their “breaking stage.” That ingestion, although, is just a fall in a bucket compared with what most elite athletes must consume in a hardly ever-ending procedure of preserving their bodies hydrated via each day cycles of perspiration, urination and rehydration. A three hundred-pound football participant needs 192 ounces of water each day to maintain normal hydration. On match working day in sizzling climates? He’ll need to have an additional 128 ounces to exchange the gallon or so of body pounds he’ll sweat out in the trenches. That signifies his ingestion on Sundays alone should be around adequate to fill a small fish tank. And Snyder states the pain prompted by striving to maintain back again all that fluid can build the same degree of cognitive impairment as staying awake for 24 hrs straight. All of which led Snyder to a solitary, deeply scientific conclusion for athletes:

When ya gotta go?

Go for the gold.

Through his enjoying days its rumored Manny Ramirez used the Green Monster as his particular outhouse. Jim Rogash/Getty Photographs

Thanks to Snyder’s research, it now will make excellent perception why Michael Phelps, the best Olympian of all time, admits he allows unfastened in the pool. It may even provide a scientific clarification for the Pink Sox phenomenon regarded as “Manny getting Manny.” In 2005, for the duration of a pitching change in Boston, outfielder Manny Ramirez claims to have stepped into the Green Monster to relieve himself — an urge so poor he virtually skipped a pitch. (“I’m just happy he came back again,” said Sox skipper Terry Francona.) It also clarifies a single of the NFL’s filthy minor insider secrets: At any offered moment on a sideline, somebody almost certainly is relieving himself even though hiding in simple sight. Or striving to. Former Dolphins linebacker Channing Crowder’s alternative was rather easy: He states he moist his pants … in each and every a single of his eighty two video games as a professional. As the Chargers drove toward a late area objective in 2011, kicker Nick Novak got caught kneeling by the bench midact, many thanks to a CBS digital camera that lingered just extended adequate for the shot to involve a graphic that recommended Novak’s “goal” was the 34-property line. He fell a minor quick.

He also skipped a 53‑yard area objective.

In Detroit last season, a Lions lover attending the match with her two small children captured Washington specific-groups coordinator Ben Kotwica relieving himself next to an machines crate adorned with the NFL logo. Though the box unsuccessful to provide any true address, it did build an exquisite moment of brand name promoting with the resulting viral photograph, which captured Kotwica completely uncovered and in entire stream just inches from the revered NFL defend.

Public urination in Detroit anywhere other than the Lions sideline can charge you up to a yr in jail and a $1,000 great. But there are no guidelines in opposition to lavatory breaks in Roger Goodell’s NFL. And so it is that gamers celebrating far too substantially after a landing can often be expecting a hefty great, even though coaches and gamers are free to do the pee-pee dance on the AstroTurf.

“Guys are peeing all over the sideline in each and every match, into cups, on the ground, in towels, driving the bench, in their pants, everywhere,” states Panthers middle Ryan Kalil, who lined this subject and others in The Rookie Handbook, co-authored by Gross and Geoff Hangartner.

“You would be stunned, actually, how many gamers on the sidelines just go. I guess as athletes we are all desensitized by the total peeing-everywhere point.”

WHEN IT Comes to urination, elite male athletes fall sufferer to a kind of Superman complex. Traveling about in a skintight bodysuit and zipperless codpiece, what does Superman do if, god forbid, he needs to pee in the center of conserving Metropolis for the 87th time? Our minds don’t associate athletes with a little something as susceptible or mundane as needing to pee. As a end result, they often complete in billion-greenback facilities that have retractable roofs and moon-sized online video screens but lack a solitary rest room inside of arrive at of the area. “There is this degree of invincibility and super-hero-ness to what we do as athletes,” states former NFL lineman and ESPN analyst Mark Schlereth, whose notorious in-match rest room practices aided gain him the nickname Stink. “It truly is like that children’s ebook Absolutely everyone Poops. In sporting activities, everybody pees.”

The group shower is a area of celebration, fellowship and naked dance-offs. What it’s not? A area hostile to Michael Sam.

For ESPN The Magazine’s Entire body Difficulty, David Fleming writes about balls — the two the literal, testosterone-developing kinds, and the kinds it usually takes to get.

In ESPN The Magazine’s Entire body Difficulty, David Fleming completes his “Undercarriage Trilogy” with an assessment of the most essential element of an athlete’s body: the rear close.

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But the need to have to continue to be hydrated, blended with a maze of cultural cling-ups and poorly built facilities, results in a nightmare for athletes who are just hunting for a lavatory break.

So many runners in the New York Metropolis Marathon pee off the sides of the Verrazano-Narrows Bridge at Mile 1 that race veterans can only giggle when they hear initial-timers down below them on the lower deck talk about the unexpected “refreshing” rainstorm they professional. Earth-class cyclists even now talk in awe of the balletic way former Tour de France racer Dave Zabriskie was equipped to straighten his appropriate leg, stand tall in the saddle and urinate off the aspect of his bike even though whizzing via the French countryside at thirty mph. In 2005, when Zabriskie turned just the 3rd American to put on the correctly named yellow jersey, it gained him the privilege — in accordance to the Tour’s unwritten guidelines — to make a decision when, where by and for how extended the peloton was authorized to pee. “That’s when you know you’ve designed it in our activity,” states former teammate Christian Vande Velde. “It truly is like, ‘I just designed the total peloton halt and pee I’m the male.'”

Simply because of cultural and anatomical road blocks, female athletes are compelled to plan greater and maintain for a longer period than their male counterparts. Associates of the U.S. women’s hockey group have even been regarded to use the expulsion of urine to measure the power of an opponent’s checks. Soon after a large strike, states group member Monique Lamoureux-Morando, “you get to the bench and persons are joking about it, and you just go, ‘Yeah, crap, she just designed me tinkle a minor.'”

Brandi Chastain, a member of the legendary 1999 U.S. women’s nationwide soccer group, leaked into her cleats only when — for the duration of a single of her initial Earth Cup tactics in Haiti. She remembers it fondly. “Absolutely liberating,” she states. “It truly is tricky to come to feel unfastened when you have that kind of tension in your bladder.”

If a glimpse of Chastain’s sporting activities bra after her Cup-successful penalty kick in 1999 prompted these a preposterous uproar, she won’t be able to even think about what supporters would do if a participant currently copped a squat by the U.S. bench for the duration of a match, as so many of her male counterparts do. That solitary disparity can often depart female athletes at a significant downside. It truly is widespread for female athletes to consume significantly less — and as a result complete even worse — just for the reason that they’re nervous about how, or where by, they’re going to go to the lavatory. Through a current U.S. Olympic Committee golf outing in Oregon, when Chastain mentioned this predicament, a female golfer in her foursome cursed out the male-dominated globe of golf training course structure, then made a little something identified as P-Mate. The disposable cardboard system, designed by a firm in Broomfield, Colorado, enables girls to pee in public even though standing. “I was a minor humiliated at initial,” Chastain states. “Then I was like, ‘Oh my god, this is awesome!’ It truly is pretty distinct for the rest of us. You just won’t be able to squat in the center of a Women’s Earth Cup match. Male athletes can just build their possess lavatory.”

Former U.S. women’s nationwide soccer group participant Brandi Chastain states female athletes have a more durable time than their male counterparts: “You just won’t be able to squat in the center of a Women’s Earth Cup match. Male athletes can just build their possess lavatory.” David Madison/Getty Photographs

It truly is a present they don’t always use responsibly. Plagued by blisters on his pitching hand in 2016, the Dodgers’ Abundant Hill peed on his fingers. It truly is an aged-college treatment that dates back again to former important leaguers Moises Alou and Jorge Posada, who didn’t use batting gloves for the reason that they thought trace quantities of urea in their urine toughened their pores and skin. (Urea is a widespread component in commercial moisturizing lotions.) Posada used to alert, “You don’t want to shake my hand for the duration of spring education.”

Some sporting activities do acquire a more palatable and humane technique to the act of urination, but appropriate facilities and protocols are even now no match in opposition to millions of bucks in prize income. At grand slam tennis situations, men are permitted two potty breaks for the duration of five-established matches girls get two for 3-established matches. On the make a difference of urination, the guidelines browse like a junior high pupil handbook, allowing competition to “depart the court docket for a sensible time for a rest room break,” even though slipping just quick of inquiring Roger Federer to put the seat down when completed.

Due to the fact the potty provision’s inception, having said that, tennis gamers have been exploiting the pee-break rule for strategic edge, proving there is no degree elite athletes will not stoop, or squat, to in purchase to get the slightest edge. In the 2010 Australian Open, after dropping the initial established of his quarterfinal match, Federer killed time in the can even though allowing the blinding sunlight to dip down below the stands. In 2012, Andy Murray gained the initial two sets of his U.S. Open finals match, but when the next two slipped absent, he sheepishly signaled to the umpire and tiptoed off the court docket, disappearing into a a single-rest room restroom below Arthur Ashe Stadium. As the crowd and Novak Djokovic waited, Murray later on explained to The New York Moments, he stood alone in entrance of the mirror screaming at his reflection, “You are not likely to enable this a single slip.” He was speaking of the match (a single presumes), which he battled back again to get after a single of the most fortuitous pee breaks in sporting activities heritage.

Whether it’s a feint or a entire circulation, lavatory breaks these as Murray’s can make all the change in getting to be a champion.”This takes place substantially more than supporters would ever understand,” states renowned boxing coach Freddie Roach. “Figuring out how an athlete’s brain performs, if all you can imagine about is needing to acquire a piss, that’s gonna get you knocked out, or even worse. So if obtaining a way to acquire a leak signifies aiding you get, any coach or any athlete in any activity would do the same point.”

You may say Roach learned this lesson firsthand even though education James Toney for his 2003 struggle in opposition to Evander Holyfield. Boxing’s golden rule is apparent: In no way put the gloves on early right before a large struggle. Once they’re safe and the tape is initialed by a boxing fee formal, they won’t be able to appear off. Soon after that, if a fighter is get over by the combination of prefight hydration and jitters, his entourage has to engage in a high-stakes match of “not it.”

Times right before he was supposed to be in the ring, Toney turned to Roach with a appear on his deal with each and every coach dreads. (He is gotten the same appear from Manny Pacquiao a number of situations in current many years.) With Holyfield waiting around and the Mandalay Bay crowd growing louder and more restless by the 2nd, Roach, out of options, shimmied his hand up the remaining aspect of Toney’s black silk boxing trunks. (Roach went remaining for the reason that the names of Toney’s small children were being stitched on the appropriate aspect of his trunks.) Why he went up the shorts instead of down is easy: He is a damn professional. “Finest way to do it,” he states, “pull the cup out, pull the junk down, appear the other way.”

When boxer and coach sheepishly exited the lavatory, Roach figured the incident was mercifully over. Heading to the ring, although, Toney blurted out, “Oh, Fred, that was so superior you were being so light.” Unfastened, unencumbered and 14 to eighteen ounces lighter, Toney survived a sluggish begin and a brutal shot to the kidneys at the close of Round 1 right before pummeling Holyfield into submission in the ninth.

To this working day, each and every time Toney sees Roach, he reminds him, loudly, about their Mandalay moment. Roach always grumbles back again the same point he said that night as Toney leaned toward the urinal. “Damn it, James, I don’t even like keeping my possess.”

Sooner or later on, although, all people-gamers, coaches, even trainers-must appear to grips with the most unstoppable power in sporting activities. “No a single has to inform me about the great importance of pee breaks in sporting activities,” Roach states. “S—, I have not read the close of it yet.”

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[frikatilhi]

the jersey thing is so funny from both sides!! but it's also so sweet he gave bojan something that's not 'käärijä' for him to remember, but something that is very 'jere' 🥹

i think we didn't even know his nickname in hockey was pasi, but bojan had to brag about him having a 'exclusive edition pasivision jersey' haha

do you have any headcanon on how bojan ended up with it?

Now that I think about it... how did Bojan end up with it? Like, why did Jere have it with him? Was it his own jersey he gave him? And why are there four and who do the others belong to? Does Jere now have one at all?? (If we have any facts on this please let me know, I don't honestly remember.)

And I can't really think any hetero, just pals-being-pals explanations for it, honestly??? What did that conversation look like?

"Oh hey, here, have this, it's uhhhh, inside joke, hard to explain, but I want you to have this" (straight off my back???)

"Oh, okay, thank you, my friend, my brother, this is a totally normal gift to give someone you just met. I appreciate it."

Like????

EDIT: background in comments!

[mitochondriencocktail]

tbh i could ask you every one of these for all of your stories because i love them so much and i wouldn't mind reading some extra stuff haha

11, 26, 28 and 29 for hockey au <3

MY ORIGINAL BABIES!!! Man, I legit just got emotional over this. I was really finding my footing with them then and my own as a writer again, so this is making me sappy <3 This is also going behind a read more because I literally couldn't stop myself from babbling.

11. What’s a song that describes their relationship? Or, what’s the song that they’ve deemed “their” song?

Funny enough, while i make a million playlists for my AUs now, I didn't make one for them. Right off the bat, I think of Abba because I associate it strongly with Bojan dancing carefree around the kitchen, which can be such a wonderful, intimate moment to see your partner in. The song at the very end is this:

From a meta-textual sense though, I'd assign them...

It's got this bouncy, joyous "can't help but fall in love" emotion to it that I think, despite the obstacles they go through, buoys them.

26. Do they have any pets or kids?

Definitely at least a dog... I think with Jere's hockey career, kids are a bit of a tricky discussion at first. He travels a lot, there's not a lot of stability per se. But, I think it's a discussion they have. I can see these versions of them both wanting to be parents, so they'd find a way.

28. What’s something that reminds them of their partner(s)? Do they have anything on them daily as a reminder (a photo, phone background, tattoo, clothing/accessory, etc)?

Because Jere has to travel so much, they definitely have certain items that mean a lot to them. For Jere, he carries around the ticket stubs from the BioDome when Bojan came to visit in his wallet, along with always packing one of his shirts when he has to go out of town.

This Bojan is a certified clothing thief. He's always taking and wearing Jere's things, claiming he's extra allowed since Jere can be gone for stretches of time. But, aside from clothes, I'd say he secretly (and accidentally) kept that McDonald's receipt from when they first met. Now he just smiles fondly at it every time he accidentally finds it tucked away in the drawer.

I also think, waaay down the road, they get married, so they have rings (even though they're both ADHD kings and forget where they put them sometimes).

29. What is something they can never agree on? How do they meet in the middle?

Lighthearted answer: where to eat. Jere always wants Thai food. Bojan wants something different. So sometimes they just order from different places.

More serious answer: Chore division. It might seem silly, but they realize they have vastly different habits when it comes to tackling chores. Jere tends to leave things sitting and does things in one big burst, whereas Bojan prefers to chip away at things. In order to tackle it, they sat down and figured out who prefers which chores; Jere does the ones that can be accomplished in big bursts (cleaning the bathroom, cleaning the stove, vacuuming), while Bojan takes the ones that require small bursts (dishes, loading/unloading the washing machine, tidying up around the house.)

They fold laundry together while watching TV :)

Thank you for the ask!! Feel free to send me numbers from here and a BoJere AU I've written and I'll answer :)

[mitochondriencocktail]

for the hockey au: 13 (are they out in this au? considering how homophobic hockey culture can be) and 24 🥰

EEEE Hockey Babies <3

13. What’s their opinions on PDA?

So, this fic started with me trying to research EVERYTHING about hockey, which then I think it became very quickly apparent that the fic veered off into an entirely different direction ;o; So, on one hand I want to say that they're out, if only because things are softer and less like our world in this fic, but on the other, I think the possible obstacle of that for them would be interesting to overcome as a couple...

I'm going to say they're out, but it took some time, and Jere's possibly faced some backlash for it. But once they overcome the initial changes and shifts to their public perception (especially because I think I picture Jere becoming more popular in this AU), they manage to find a stride that works for them.

Also because I think they'd be so bad trying to keep their hands off each other... they're both soooo touchy-feely.

24. What are their favorite places to kiss on their partner(s)? What are their favorite types of kisses?

OUGH I love this question for them. They were the blueprint for me in setting up the BoJere 'worshipping one another' dynamic. I think for types of kisses, any and all. Just all of them. From chaste to romantic to sexy to silly to smothering. They both eat up every single kind.

As for where, Jere likes to do a flurry of kisses all over Bojan's face, kiss him gently on the nose, forehead, lips. For something more soothing, he kisses along his shoulders where he holds tension, down along his arms until he reaches his hand that he's holding. (And obligatory thigh kisses hehehe).

As for Bojan, he likes to kiss Jere along his chest, listening to the heartbeat there. Down across his stomach when they're sleepy and feeling silly in bed. And for something sensual, along his throat and collar bone, he's noticed Jere really responds well to. He also, of course, loves to give butterfly kisses to Jere (rubbing their noses together).

Thank you 🥺🥺🥺 <3