#honestly kenny is such a funny guy.

[h-harleybaby]

main four South Park with a bimbo reader (dumb blonde, etc.) like reader who fits that stereotype. You can do a gn! Reader if you want to but if you can pls do fem reader tysm!

Yeah ofc girlie!!! Fem reader is my speciality anyways 😘😘 slightly nsfw? a few mentions of tits

Cartman

• At first Cartman thought you were super annoying because no way someone can actually be that hot and so fucking dumb. He thought you were just fucking with everyone and tried practically everything to try tripping you up and ‘reveal’ that you were actually smart and trying to play mind games with everyone. He’s the one who does that not you!

• I think after the first few schemes he roped you into without you really suspecting him or anything he gave up. Well he was still interested in you, messing with you was far from boring for him. You went with his schemes and it’s like the two of you just clicked, he just couldn’t let you go!

• In a way you’ve kinda taken place of Butters in Cartman’s schemes, and Butters definitely isn’t complaining because now he doesn’t get grounded AS often. He’s still a 3rd wheel for you guys tho, like alllllll the time! You can’t get rid of him no matter how many times Cartman’s tried.

• I’m telling you, he’s totally used you as a way to get out of things like speeding tickets and to distract people while he does stuff. You’re his go to distraction and you’re just happy to be hanging out with him. On his cue, you usually flirt with whoever he needs you to, maybe twirl your hair around your finger and giggle a bit (he’s more than painfully aware of how mesmerizing your tits are when you laugh)

• In the end he might be a little jealous but he has to remind himself that he’s not dating you yet and he was quite literally the one who told you to do that… then he throws that out the window because he doesn’t think he needs to be reasoned with. Regardless, sometimes he’ll call you doll or good girl because something something positive reinforcement and it’s totally not because he enjoys the way you smile and giggle (and the way your tits shake) when he calls you that

Stan

• I’m not saying it was love as first sight but… Stan was actually kinda enamored with you the first time you even opened your mouth. Sure he internally facepalmed when you said something but nonetheless, he thought you were perfect. He’s a hopeless romantic, so of course he’ll insist it was love at first sight

• For the longest time he wasn’t sure how to approach you, let alone without being queasy, to the point he even tried getting advice from Cartman and Kenny. I mean it makes sense right? They’ve had the most girlfriends so they should know a thing or two about getting chicks! Yeah no he was dead wrong and was convinced to throw money at you while his two friends cried from laughing so hard. Honestly you didn’t even get it, and just helped him pick up the money. I swear you could hear his heart cry out of embarrassment

• It actually doesn’t take very long for the two of you to date, seeing as he was hopelessly in love and you thought he was pretty sweet. A couple dates was really all you needed to accept being his gf

• Stan doesn’t really like hanging out with you at his place, especially after Randy kept barging in on the two or you and embarrassing him. No hate to Randy, you think he’s pretty funny but Stan can’t stand Randy saying another embarrassing thing about his childhood in his moms robe. Not to mention Randy kind of has a history of accidentally killing Shelley’s bfs so maybe it’s not the best idea to be around him too much

• As I was saying, a lot of dates/hang outs are in your room, your very pink room. Practically everything in there is pink and Stan has no problem buying you more stuff that’ll match, like plushies (hello kitty, kuromi, etc), makeup, anything you want really. If it means seeing you light up in happiness, nothing is too expensive. He gets money from working on the family farm, might as well use it right?

Kyle

• Kyle honestly didn’t think much of you until you asked him to tutor you, he just kinda thought you were dumb and not his problem. He can admit when a girl’s pretty but his logic was always that school, along with beating Cartman, was #1 in his priorities. Ha! He doesn’t even know how much that would change after he started talking to you

• After he started tutoring you, you kinda became his little project. He wanted you to pass your classes so bad! You? Not so much, you just really wanted to talk to the cute red head who broke lord knows how many pencils when talking to Cartman. You kinda thought it was hot?

• Your tutoring sessions slowly became more and more frequent to the point they were practically study dates! As much as he loves you, Kyle can’t help but facepalm at how bad you are at statistics. He might be more of a English guy but math came pretty easy to him too, he always excelled in all of his class. He swears the longer you’re around him the stupider he gets, and he doesn’t mind? Maybe it’s because he’s starting to ‘study’ with you and it’s basically just becoming him staring at your lips (or how your tits just slightly spill out of crop top)

• For a while, Ike was pretty on edge around you but he eventually warms up to you when you start handing him a little bar of chocolate and patting his head before going up to his brothers room. He warmed up to you pretty quickly, to the point he would start bursting in Kyle’s room to try getting your attention… and maybe some more chocolate. He’s not even THAT much younger than Kyle but he’s an absolute fiend for chocolate and annoying his brother

• For y’alls first actual date, Kyle tried doing something romantic like a candle lit dinner in his kitchen. He ended up burning the spaghetti so badly that it set on fire and you tried blowing out the fire with your stupidly perfectly glossed lips. Not. The. Best. Idea. It did take a while to get everything under control and after bribing Ike not to say anything, you guys ordered some food and ate with a lit candle between the two of you. One that Kyle refused to let out of his sight for more than a minute, I mean it helped make sure his thoughts didn’t… wander too much

Kenny

• Kenny thinks you’re soooo fun to hang around, you might not be the smartest but you’re a hell of a good time. You’re the bimbo to his himbo, Barbie and Ken much? In fact, your contact in his cracked ass phone is “Barbie 😘😘💕💕”, of course he has a matching “Ken 🥰🥰💕💕” one in your phone

• Is he totally looking at your tits half the time? Maybe, but he’s doing it respectfully!! I mean you’ve left him touch them.. as friends, definitely as friends. Regardless, one time you showed him how you got out of a ticket essentially with your tits and then he flashed the officer his nipple the next time and got arrested. It’s fine, you don’t mind bailing him out

• I’m convinced that Kenny was the one to show you weed and get you high for the first time. If people didn’t think you were a bimbo when they first met you, they’ll definitely think so when you’re high. You and Kenny have definitely taken some sort of edible right before class started and were high out of your minds the whole time. He was being stupidly philosophical the whole time and you were giggling the whole time despite not understanding what he was talking about

• He totally has this super old, rusty almost broken down truck he drives and you literally always leave your stuff there! His glove box is almost filled with your stuff like some of your makeup and for some reason the tiniest mini skirt he’s ever seen. He definitely won’t complain about it, it may or may not give him some very specific visuals he’s far from willing to give up

• Karen really likes you, and she loves how everything about you just screams pink! She practically begs you to teach her how to use makeup and you + Kenny end up buying some for her. She might be going through a little tomboy phase but she secretly loves pink, basically automatically making you her favorite person. Yeah, she’s not the best at hiding it. Kenny thinks it’s really sweet how you get along super well with Karen

[kennysboxergf]

Chunkz’s sister ~ Sharky

“Downstairs.” Flashed the message on Sharky’s screen. Ominous, but not too far left out of the ordinary for Chunkz. He often sent weird messages that had no meaning for the fun of it.

But then again it could be something serious. Damn this, Sharky really hated when he didn’t know something. He descended the stairs, trying not to speed up or slow down from his normal pace, but now he couldn’t even remember what his normal pace was.

He tripped down the stairs like a mad man and surveyed the room he was entering. Chunkz was standing next to the couch (weird) and his eyes followed Sharky as he entered the room (also weird). Niko was out with George right now, he knew that and didn’t expect him to be here and AJ didn’t come downstairs unless he was needed. Kenny was sitting in the corner of their L shaped sofa, his body folded up to fit into the corner cushions. He refused to look up from his phone, but had no earphones in (even more weird).

This text was definitely not a haha funny text. As he stepped closer to the couch he tried to rack his brain for anything he had done recently. He got the groceries, didn’t post anything revealing and hadn’t fucked anything up honestly. Except… no. 

No he didn’t know about you. Sharky had fought tooth and nail to keep your relationship away from Chunkz, at least until he could slowly ease him into the concept. A man like Chunkz would react horrendously to his friend dating his younger sister. Sharky would know too, he had been there first hand to witness how Chunkz had talked about your last boyfriend, who could say what he would do if he had daily access to the guy his sister was dating. 

With thoughts of you and your relationship with him getting exposed he sat on the couch, trying not to be too stoic. He relaxed his body, trying to play it off cool.

“You got something to tell me?” Chunkz said, face and tone revealing no emotion.

Sharky shrugged and shook his head, trying his best to act confused.

“Kenny here,” Chunkz continued, his manner and way of speaking made it feel like he knew something which ran Sharky’s blood cold. “He told me something very interesting and I was wondering if you had any idea about what it could be?” Sharky watched Chunkz put a wide arm on Kenny’s shoulder. He thought the hold was just a little too hard to be comfortable.

Chunkz smiled, and suddenly Sharky didn’t feel like the Shark in the room any more. Of course Kenny was the weak link. Chunkz definitely knew. And Sharky didn’t know how to confirm that he knew that Chunkz knew.

“I don’t know, maybe he has a new match or something?” Sharky replied, thinking the best way to deal with this situation is to ignore it completely.

“No, it actually has something to do with y/n, you know y/n? My little sister y/n?” All those statements were definitely questions but it did not feel like it. They felt like crimes, and Sharky was about to receive his sentence.

“Ohh, I remember her, how’s she doing?” Nonchalance, nonchalance was the way to go. 

“You. Tell. Me.” Chunkz said, sitting down way too close for comfort and slinging an arm around Sharky’s shoulders. Something he does quite often but this time was different. His touch was harsh, his movements hard. Sharky winced at the contact. 

Out of the corner of his eye Sharky could see Kenny also grimacing, uncomfortable with the situation he had created. Reassuring, wasn’t it?

“H-how would I know?” Sharky replied, stuttering despite his best efforts. 

“Kenny tells me you have been spending a lot of time together recently.” Chunkz said, pulling Sharky in even closer.

“No, not really, I mean I saw her last week at the mall” Sharky said, unsure of how much longer he could keep a secret.

“What did you do?” Chunkz asked, everything about his could be taken as just a friend asking questions but then again, his voice was rigid, his hold tight around Sharky’s body. The heat from his body burned onto Sharky’s and it didn’t help that he was already sweating out of nervousness.

“We uhh..” Sharky tried to shuffle away from Chunkz but was blocked by the end cushions of the sofa. Chunkz noticed the small gap he had created between the two of them and took it as invitation to creep in even closer. “Had lunch?”

“Who else was there?”

Sharky gulped, “no one”

Chunkz nodded in response. And then no one spoke. For a while. Sharky, growing more and more paranoid by the second, spoke up to cover the silence.

“Could you move away?” Sharky said, whispering the words into the room, making them seem less commanding.

“Could you tell me next time you want to date my sister?” Chunkz answered.

Sharky turned to face him with wide eyes. He knew this was coming, he knew he knew but he wasn’t expecting him to come out with it so readily. Part of him was relived they stopped playing tennis with the information.

“Uhhh..” Sharky started, gathering the thoughts in his head to present this information from his side but also keep him brotherly instincts at bay. 

“Let’s walk.” Chunkz said, getting up from the couch and extending an arm for Sharky. Sharky looked around frantically from Chunkz’s hand to his face to Kenny, who was also sitting very still, trying not to bring attention to himself.

“Can’t we talk in here?” Sharky glanced at Kenny, “with witnesses?”

“Walk.”

Shark reluctantly extended his hand to meet Chunkz’s, who moved it away before Sharky could grab it. Added embarrassment to the nervousness he was already feeling. He moved the rejected hand to the Sofa and lifted himself off, dragging his feet behind Chunkz as he led the pair of them out the living room.

Ten thousand thoughts ran through Sharky’s head as he stepped through the door, he barely even noticed stepping aside so Chunkz could shut the door. He stood there, staring at his feet.

“So..” Chunkz started, folding his hands over his chest, leaning his weight backwards on one leg.

“So.. wait.. let me just.” Sharky staryed, his speech speeding up “ok so- I can explain gimmeliketwosecondsChunkz” he rambled, raising his hands in a show of acceptance.

“Sharky!” Chunkz yelled, kinda loud so Sharky could hear him through the thoughts running through his head. He also banged the door with his fist to give poor Kenny in the living room a heart attack.

“Listen to me. I’m not angry at you for dating my sister, unless you’re doing it for poor reasons”

“No-no of course not” Sharky interrupted with a shake of his head.

“To be honest with you, out of the mandem you’re the one I would want dating my sister, wallah I would. I know you’re gonna be treating her right”

“Of course, I will, I Am” he replied, a smile growing on his face as he realised Chunkz wasn’t truly mad at him.

“That little stint in there was just to mess with you and Kenny a bit yeah?” Said Chunkz with a hand om Sharky’s shoulder.

“Of course, yeah yeah” Sharky nodded.

“But you gotta answer this truthfully right now, what are your intentions with y/n?” He said, tightening his grip on Sharky’s shoulder.

“Ok bro, honest, I know she likes me, I know I like her, right now we’re just trying something to see where it goes, I don’t have a clue, I don’t know if she does, but with the way it’s going I think it’s going to be a nice part of both our lives, one that we will look back to with joy. I hope that answers your question, I don’t mean any I’ll with your sister, Chunkz, I swear.” Sharky declared. These weren’t things he had said outlays before but saying them felt nice. It felt nice talking to someone about how he liked you. 

Chunkz pulled Sharky in for a hug, squeezing him tight. Sharky returned the gesture. This was the furthest Chunkz was going to get to saying he accepted the two of you and Sharky was going to absorb every moment of it.

They pulled away, and left on their own paths, Sharky had a huge weight lifted off his shoulder and went straight to call you. Chunkz also tried to contact you, spamming you so you would reply. You talked to your boyfriend on the call while also replying to all of your brother’s messages, glad they could sort it out with minimum casualties.

Well, except for poor Kenny in the living room who still hadn’t moved, scared to walk into anything and getting dragged in it.

—

ya so that was a story worm but then I gave up on it halfway then I forced myself to finish it so I hope it’s alr 🫶

[nwjn-z]

Main 4 with a s/o who watches Jersey Shore

warning(s): swearing

author’s note: i was watching jersey shore and thought about how kyle would react to his s/o liking it so here you go

Kyle ☆

- He thought you were trying to make fun of him at first

-He is so used to being made fun of for being half Jersey that he would be like “not you too”

-But when he realised you weren’t making fun of him he would get kinda embarrassed for assuming

-I could see him watching it with you only bc you like it but overtime I could see him start to genuinely get invested

-Thinking about having Kyle’s arms wrapped around you as you cuddle on his couch while you guys watch Jersey Shore together 🤭

- I feel like watching Jersey Shore would bring out the Jersey in Kyle and he gets really invested and start to shout stuff like “WHY THE FUCK WOULD HE DO THAT” while watching it

-Kyle yelling in a New England accent me thinks

-Overall very funny to watch with 10/10 would recommend

Stan ☆

-Is really confused lol

-He’ll see you watching and be like “what🧍🏻”

-does NOT understand why you watch it AT ALL

-Despite how much he does not understand why you willingly want to watch Jersey Shore he’ll take any opportunity to cuddle and watch something together

-Even if it’s Jersey Shore

-Like Kyle I feel like he’ll get genuinely invested if you make him watch it enough but he’ll never admit it

-He’ll complain about it the whole time but he always asks you when you’re gonna watch it again LMAO

-At the end of the day he just loves spending time with you so 8/10 very sweet (minus 2 for complaining )

Kenny ☆

-He LOVES watching Jersey Shore omg

-is so excited when he finds out you like it too

-Kenny is the type to plan out a whole day to just cuddle and watch Jersey Shore with you

-He’s so happy he can watch it with you bc I JUST KNOW the other guys rip on him so hard for liking it (save my boy)

-Eating takis while watching Jesery Shore with Kenny me thinks

-He loves being able to share an interest with you (and being able to shove his head in your chest while cuddling)

-Honestly the best out of the four dare I say 10/10

Cartman ☆

-Fucking hates it LMAOO

-We all know how much Cartman hates New Jersey and people from there (just look at how he treats Kyle for being half from Jersey )

-It takes A LOT of convincing and practically begging to get him to even consider it

-But don’t worry he caves and eventually watches it with you (only if you promise to get him snacks)

-As much as he hates he can’t help but get invested solely to make fun of them

-He’ll say shit like “why the fuck would they do that Jesus Christ Jersey people are so stupid 😒”

-Tbh worst out of all of them but still pretty funny 7.5/10 (could use some work )

[vctrvn-ls]

Heeyy idk if u write ff right now but if u do can u please do a niko o/s where him nd the reader are together nd they are filming woth the beta squad nd he keeps violating her as joke etc.(im literally head over heels for that man)

same bb Niko has my heart <3

Walmart Duster |Niko|

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

"Yes? Hello." You held your phone up to your head with your shoulder as you rummaged through your bag "Yes I got my costume. Yes give me five minutes I'm almost there. Bye." You put your phone down and continued searching for your lipgloss that had fallen to the bottom of your bag.

Suddenly your phone began buzzing again.

"Shit," you picked it up "Oh excuse me sir take a right there, it's quicker." You pointed to the driver. "Hello?" You answered "Yes I'm coming. Chunkz just called...I'm the Grinch, why?"

"We're almost here, miss."

"Yes perfect- No one told me who to dress up as...You know what we'll talk inside. I'm here." You turned off your phone and tossed it into your bag.

"Thank you, please pick me up at 8pm." You got out of the car and took your hanger with your costume out of the trunk.

As you turned to the familiar Beta Squad house you instantly recognized Chunkz and AJ at the front door waving.

You chuckle to yourself and made your way over to the two of them.

"Finally, she makes it." Chunkz sarcastically claps his hands glancing at AJ who's just genuinely happy you're here.

"Lemme help with that." AJ took the costume cover and went inside while you hugged Chunkz hello.

"Good ride?"

"Yeah, nothing special." You shrugged as he held the door open for you to enter.

You were met with a series of cheers from the Beta couch.

"Hey guys!" You laugh in excitement and wave to everyone, a little overwhelmed by all the emotions. Kenny and Sharky get up to come greet you, which rose the question: Where was Niko?

"Hey!" Everyone in the hallway heard an annoyed yell from somewhere inside the house.

Well, speak of the devil.

You heard a series of footsteps and as they turned the corner, a tall green thing stood before you.

Honestly you only recognized that it was Niko because of his height. Instantly you burst out laughing, not being able to contain yourself, stomach already in pain.

Everyone else joined you.

"What was that?" Niko pointed behind him from the direction he came from.

Everyone exchanged confused, but on the verge of laughing, glances. In the moment AJ walked in from Niko's side, and you understood what he was implying at.

"What is your costume?" He pointed at you with his abnormally long and funny finger.

You tried to contain yourself from just laughing in response to his question, given his green state, but you managed to squeeze out "The Grinch?"

"Nooo!" He dramatically threw his arms up and turned on the spot like the drama queen he was. "I'm The Grinch."

"Same."

"No. There can only be one grinch. You aren't even the grinch, i-it was just a green fuzzy dress or whatever."

You couldn't tell if he was joking or being for real, because that's how it was with Niko most of the time, so you just went along "Even with just a fuzzy dress I'll be The Grinch. You're just a Grinch." Now that wasn't true at all, Niko was definitely THE Grinch with his totally over the top green face and big bushy eyebrows, but you said it so confidently that it almost sounded convincing.

Before Niko could reply or come up with a witty comeback like 'your mama so fat' Chunkz interrupted "Right everyone," he clapped his hands "Twenty minutes to get ready and then we'll film the intro."

Niko scoffed and stomped away, extra dramatically, while everyone else went to change into their costumes.

You slipped into your fuzzy green dress, pulled on some red elbow gloves and a Santa hat.

It wasn't really Christmas yet, not even close, it was in two weeks, but you knew the boys always filmed guest videos in advance just because it was more practical.

The forfeit for this video was a plate of the most disgusting food combinations ever, each numbered from 1-10. You had to pull out a number and whatever it matched up with went in your mouth.

After everyone separately filmed their part for the intro, you all gathered in the Mafia room and that's exactly when you got to see Niko in his full costume.

You honestly didn't know wether to laugh or be impressed.

"You look like a duster." He mumbled meanly as he felt you eyeing him up and down.

"I think we should sit the two Grinches next to each other." Sharky stated.

"Nothing would more disgraceful than sitting next to a green duster from Walmart." The cameras were already rolling so it was hard to tell what was being said for real and what was being said for content, you just genuinely laughed at his joke and purposefully sat down next to him.

He side-eyed you as you beamed at him, annoying him even more.

"Niko really thought he was being original by dressing up as the Grinch." Chunkz said to the camera as he pointed at Niko with his thumb.

"Yes!" Niko squeaked in a high pitched voice "Everyone drop what you're doing and comment right now that she looks like a Walmart duster!"

You dropped your mouth open in offense as you tried to suppress a laugh.

"Yeah, to be fair you kinda do." Chunkz says adding his little giggle at the end making everything ten times as funny and sending laughs through the room.

"The disrespect," you tried to speak through your own chuckles.

"Anyway!" He cut off the laughter just as easily as he had started it "Let's pick the caaaards."

Everyone took a card and secretively looked.

MAFIA

You suppressed a small grin and put your card under the couch.

This was gonna be good.

"Everyone!" Chunkz shouted "Close. Your. Eyes."

The tension rose in the room.

"Mafia!" He announces dramatically "Open. Your. Eyes."

You slowly opened your eyes, and without moving your head looked around. Not Sharky, not AJ beside him. Chunkz or Kenny? You glance to your left, no. Both of their eyes were closed...Which left...Niko.

You slowly looked up seeing his eyes open and stuck onto you. You bit your lip trying not to break into laughter from how hilarious he looked with all the makeup and extra long brows, you sent him a little wave, careful not to make too much noise, he moved his mouth but you didn't get any of the words he was trying to pronounce. You rose a brow and shook your head, telling him that you didn't understand.

He turned to the camera and rolled his eyes, as if saying "she's so dumb" to which you responded with a middle finger to his face.

"Mafia! Close. Your. Eyes...Everyone wake up!"

Everyone's eyes shot open and the accusations began to flood in.

"Why are you smiling Kenny?"

"Why are you laughing?"

"Yep it's Chunkz I heard his snowman suit rustling."

"I think it's Niko." AJ says slyly.

You nod "Definitely. I heard his eyes open."

Everyone laughs at your comment.

"I think we need to eliminate her." Niko places a finger on your shoulder "She has committed a crime. The crime of dressing up as a green duster from Walmart."

Of course everyone starts laughing, including you, but for real this was starting to piss you off. After all you wanted to win this, preferably also getting your revenge at Niko.

First round AJ was voted out. Why? No one knows, maybe it was because he didn't take anything seriously and as per usual he barely had any of his gross food for forfeit.

"That's gonna be you next." You heard Niko's low voice in your ear as he pointed with his hairy Grinch finger to coughing and struggling AJ. You furrowed your eyebrows and turned around almost head butting him, catching him off guard at how close your face was to his.

"You're going down, Omilana." You said narrowing your eyes, sending vibes of those bullies in cartoon shows.

As the second round started, suspicions were being aimed at Niko because he was being very talkative, but you decided not to go at him straight away.

"Guys, guys. You can't vote me out and leave her here. It would disgrace the Grinch race!" He said into the camera raising his hairy eyebrows. And there he was defending himself with the duster jokes again.

"You even thinking you could pull that off is a disgrace."

"Sorry I don't speak duster." Niko turned to you.

"Why'd you need to fake big hairy eyebrows when you could've just painted over your own big hairy eyebrows?"

"Wooaahhh!" The room filled with laughs, impressed calls and wheezes as everyone watched you and Niko scrap about nothing.

"Aye you guys might as well lips now." Chunkz slipped in those words that changed which whole atmosphere. You and Niko stared at him in shock while everyone else burst into laughter. A small smile edged on your lips as you slowly looked over at Niko. His expression was priceless. Mouth open, eyebrows up and eyes as big as saucers. You giggled nudging him in the ribs.

"Don't talk to me, duster." Niko crossed his arms over his fake big belly and tried to move away from you.

"Even though you're taller than me, I feel like I'm looking down at you."

"VIO! VIO!" Sharky pointed at Niko, who's mouth was open again.

"Woooow," Chunkz's eyes were huge as he looked at you "Did you get that?" He turned to the camera and held his finger up "Gyal said even though I'm shorter than you, I feel like im looking down at you."

No one expected that, and you were genuinely proud of yourself. You shot Niko sneaky look and nudged him in the ribs again.

"Ow!" He yelled bending down this time reacting.

So far the game was looking good for you. Sharky had his suspicions on Chunkz and Niko.  Kenny had his suspicions on Niko and you, but that didn't matter because Chunkz had his suspicions on Niko and Sharky.

Honestly you could've probably won next round if you had sided with Niko somehow, maybe if you thought a little about how to point fingers at Kenny because of how bad he was at Mafia. But no. Your plan was to win and alongside that see Niko coughing up some cow tongue or pickled eggs.

"Everyone tell me what is your card right now." You proclaimed enthusiastically, previously mentioning that you had a special trick.

"8 of hearts." Sharky replied without even thinking.

"6 of clubs?" Kenny asked more than said.

"9 of diamonds." Chunkz answered and looked at Niko who was supposed to respond next.

"7 of spades." Niko made up his card "Wait are we even allowed to do that?"

And this is where your plan stepped in.

"7 of spades?" You ask him, doing your best to act surprised, Sharky and Chunkz observed your reaction, taking it in as a genuine one.

"Yes." Niko laughed in slight confusion, sure that you'd back him as his partner in crime.

"Why what's yours?" Sharky quizzed leaning in.

"I have seven of spades." Your tone was low, like in those movies when the detective finally figures out who the murderer was.

Being totally clueless everyone breaks into gasps, naively believing you.

"Wait wait wait," Niko continued laughing nervously "She could be lying." But coming from his mouth it sounded not so convincing.

"I know it's you." You pointed at his chest, riling him up for real as he let out an offended scoff "This just proves it."

"I mean she could be lying. They were messing since the beginning of the game." Sharky pointed out.

"Was it messing or flirting?" Chunkz joked and you raised your eyebrows. You were about to end those jokes.

"If I was Mafia I would've sided with him."

"Would you now?" Niko said chuckling dryly at the irony, but no one payed attention to him.

"Mafias aren't allowed to go against each other right?"

"Wooaahh, did everyone get that?" Chunkz pointed at you. You cringed inside realizing that the phrasing was poor and now the situation looked bad for you.

"What? I'm just asking." You said innocently.

"You realize that if it's not Niko we're all gonna think it's you?" Sharky said.

"It's not me though. Listen guys I just wanna win this."

"Yeah win as the Mafia by getting an innocent civilian out!" Niko threw his arms up.

"I'm willing to bet that it's definitely Niko." Kenny said which was the starting point of voting.

"Same."

"No no no guys," Niko leaned onto the back of the couch in defeat. He saw your eyes sparkle with passion for the game and obvious revenge.

After the voting Niko was obviously out and the five of you headed to the table of gross food.

While you walked there you had managed to poke Niko three times without anyone noticing which absolutely sent him. He was so pissed he thought he was going to burst.

You secretly winked at the camera before turning to the table where Niko sat, nervously eyeing the laid out disgusting food, if you could even call it that.

"You guys are making a big mistake, it's her! It's the duster!" But it was too late for jokes now, he was already sat at the table, ready to pick out a number.

"Shush you." You held out the hat with the numbered pieces of paper. "The best Grinch wins." You grin from ear to ear as he picks up a folded piece of paper, glaring up at you.

"5." Niko reads and everyone starts searching for dish number 5 on the table.

"That's brains." AJ says.

"You shush you're already out you pussy." Niko points at AJ who was peaking from the other side of the table.

"Shit it is brains." You look at the plate that looked vile. A grey splat of goo with little wavy lines on it. As Niko takes the plate and puts it in front of him everyone "ew's".

"Maybe it's not so bad." He takes the knife and fork.

"No that is bad." Kenny laughs from behind him. Niko cautiously begins cutting a piece of the brain and as he slices, a splash of liquid shoots outs to the side, making you gag and cough.

"That is disgu-" you gag again covering your mouth.

"Now now don't do that!" Niko yells out without taking his eyes off the brain. "If someone throws up I'm throwing up right after them."

"Yeah, if you guys didn't know that's actually for real. Like Niko can eat the most disgusting foods but if someone gags he's done." Chunkz says to the camera and then proceeds to titter making everyone else laugh.

"Alright it's time for you to eat that Mister Nikolas Omilana." Chunkz announced.

"Wait let me ju-"

"Nah nah stop the waffling." AJ laughs.

"Shut up you rat. You're out."

"Eat it Niko!" You shouted standing a meter away from the table so you didn't have to see the brains that clearly.

Hesitantly, Niko lifted up the fork that had a grey slimy piece on it. Everyone paused as he took a bite. He chewed three times before almost spitting it out.

The room filled with laughs and "ooh's" as Niko really struggled to chew. Despite being seconds away from throwing up yourself you wanted Niko to really suffer.

"Accept your defeat by a duster." You whispered theatrically while squeezing his shoulders. He screwed his eyes shut and shook his head, hastily getting up and running over to the kitchen sink spitting everything out and coughing.

"Please, water." Niko winced at the disgusting aftertaste, but neither you nor the boys went over to help. Everyone was too busy laughing and talking while George filmed Niko suffering in the kitchen.

"That's what you get for calling me a duster." You turned to the other camera and smiled.

"Reveal your caaaard!" Chunkz shouted, and Niko pulled out his king of spades while still coughing over the sink.

Everyone cheered and you and Sharky held hands while jumping in a circle and chanting "Niko's a schmuck! Niko's a schmuck!"

Fast forward to the intense moment of you, Chunkz and Sharky deciding who the last mafia was. Getting Kenny out was easy because he was making zero sense in his arguments.

Just like earlier in the game, Sharky still had his suspicions on Chunkz and before Chunkz could say anything you brought up the fact that when everyone voted for AJ he voted for you, giving you some sort of reason to vote for him.

By now obviously Chunkz had a hunch that it was you, but Sharky wouldn't believe him anyway since he was fully convinced that Chunkz was the imposter. And after the final voting it was Chunkz's turn.

"Pickled eggs isn't even that bad!" Niko exclaimed.

"Shut it." Chunkz spat "Idiot." He took the fork and poked the jiggly egg.

"Hurry up." Sharky said impatiently, bouncing on the spot. But it was over for him. You had won already, just how you wanted.

"Eeewww," Chunkz managed to say as he swallowed a piece of the egg. "See that's how real men do it you pussio." Chunkz looked at Niko, stating the fact that he had managed to eat without spitting all over the sink.

"I had BRAINS!" Niko squeaked in defense.

"What's your card!?" Sharky shouted over the top of them.

Chunkz rummaged through his suit and pulled out the card from god knows where and slammed it onto the table right in front of Sharky.

"You idiot!" Chunkz sneered as Sharky let out a wail.

"Nooo!" He whined "Wait what? It was you?!"

"WE WOOONNN!" You shouted jumping up and down around Niko who was clearly pissed.

"I do not associate myself with her." Niko said into the lens as you continued celebrating.

"Gyal got brains." Chunkz laughed into Nikos face "She got you and we all believed her. You disgrace." Chunkz flicked his wrist.

"Cmon smile, we won!" You grinned sitting down next to Niko on a chair in a red lit room. You were filming the comments now and you had to talk about the victory.

"I don't even want to talk to her." Niko says into the camera pointing at you.

"There are two Mafias. We were supposed to work together." Niko articulated.

"Well maybe you should've stopped violating me every two seconds." You pointed out.

"Someone please evacuate her out of this building." Niko put his hairy gloved hand over your face.

"Niko!" You moved his hand away and spat out little pieces of green hair. The two of you shared a laugh before continuing to film.

After the civilians filmed their part under green lighting, the shooting for the day was finally over.

"Hey how about we order some pizza?" AJ suggested "Will you be staying longer?" He asked you. You glanced at the time, it was 6:27pm.

"Yeah, I've got time till 8:00." You said taking off your Santa hat and running your hand through your hair.

"Sweet."

"Yeah Sharky's gonna order because he's the dumbest idiot I've ever met." Chunkz says.

"Wha-I was sure it wasn't her!"

"Yeah yeah whatever."

"Alright who wants what?"

After figuring out the order everyone went to change back into their normal clothes.

You pulled Niko aside and made him take photos with you, Grinch with Grinch, that type of thing. He looked hilarious. You tried to pose in a cute way in the mirror, more or less, but Niko just stood there like a statue and pierced you with his gaze through the mirror.

"Relax," you laughed snapping a photo as you stood on your tiptoes to not seem so short.

"Get down," he pushed your shoulder "Stay short."

You rolled your eyes and after a few more photos, this time on his phone, you both went to change...well Niko had to scrub his face off to get that green paint of his face.

The rest of the evening was calm, you all chatted and ate, while a boring movie played in the background. You talked about mafia, work and future projects that might be coming up.

Today was pleasant, filming with the boys was always fun, you just wished you could do it more.

"Thank you for having me guys." You were enveloped by a big group hug.

"Thank you for coming." Chunkz said.

"Yeah today was fun." Sharky agreed.

"I'll see you guys, hopefully soon." You let go of them and picked up your bag.

"Niko will help you with this, right?" Kenny grinned at his friend as he held up the hanger with the costume cover, which had the "duster dress" inside it. Niko rolled his eyes and took the costume "Yeah." He said not so enthusiastically and followed you.

"Bye guys!" You waved the final time as you and Niko walked over to your driver's car.

As the two of you walked you shared some enjoyable silence with mutual smiles on your faces. He helped you put the costume in the backseat and as you were about to get into the car he finally decided to speak up "Hey I was wondering." He began with a slight smile on his face "Could I like, maybe, get your number?"

You were surprised, but overjoyed at the fact that he asked, not being able to hold in the beaming grin that shone on your face.

"I need to track you down and burn that dress."

You chuckled and nodded answering with a simple “yeah” to not seem too excited.

You decided to ignore the fact that he could've just texted you on Instagram and asked there, but maybe this was his way of showing his interest in you.

"On one condition though," you paused before typing your number into his contacts.

He raised his eyebrows and waited for you to continue.

"You don't name me Duster in your chats."

He nodded "Oh yeah yeah, of course not."

"Uhuh?"

He shook his head "Nah it's a dead joke."

You weren't convinced at all, but still put your number in his phone and handed it to him.

He smiled in response.

"You have a very weird way of getting girls. Violate them and then ask for their number."

He shrugged "Part of the rizz you know?"

You laugh at his comment and pull him into a hug "Bye Omilana."

"Peace to all." He tapped your shoulder.

You roll your eyes and get into the car and, as your driver greeted you and double checked that you were going home, Niko kept waving.

You waved in response before you turned the corner, and almost instantly your phone buzzed. You opened your messages only to be met with this:

[belli5]

Africa — King Kenny

Pairing: king Kenny x f!reader

Warnings: fluff, cutie animals (or dangerous), nun. Based on this request. Also I changed it up a bit, because beta squad doesn’t really have any dangerous animals in videos, they’re just scared of everything.

Summary: in which, beta squad were 50 hours in Africa and you went along with them, going to safari and helping them learn about animals.

A/n: Sorry for my beta girlie who had to wait so long for this. I had written little bit of smut at the end, but then I felt it wasn’t needed in this story so I deleted it.

Masterlist

The beta squad were going to Africa for 3 days or 50 hours. They are gonna do some challenges or just things kids do there as in school or play football and they are gonna go to safari aswell, they suggested you to come with them so of course you agreed.

When we landed in Kenya, we were greeted by some great people and they also had pretty flower bouquet for each one of us.

A taller guy than you gave you the bouquet, “oh thank you so much.” You smiled at him, and he went to give someone else the other bouquet he had.

When we were finally leaving the airport with the people who greeted us here, you all got into a car sitting down between Kenny and Aj.

“Here,” Kenny from beside you said, “you can have these.” Giving you his bouquet of flowers. You thought it was so cute.

“Aww, thank you so much.” You thanked him and leaned into him.

“Yeah, guys can you stop being so corny infront of us and the camera?” Aj called you both out. You saw the camera towards you both and shook your head.

“Shut up, Aj.” You said.

First you all arrived at your first location, where you would just eat, the people also welcomed you very nicely, they had the Uk and Kenya’s flag.

It was so cute, they singed a song for us while we just vibed, honestly overall it was so nice dancing with them. Also they cheered for everything, more welcoming than the Uk.

“Kenny won his last fight.” Sharky said, and everyone started cheering, yelling ‘yeahhh’

“Guys, guys,” Niko interrupted “I’ve got two socks on.” Everyone started cheering again and yelling ‘yeah’ you laughed at it.

“You guys,” Aj said “Niko’s breath stinks.” Everyone started cheering again, even Niko.

Niko wanted to revenge, “Aj’s three foot tall.” Everyone cheered once again. And Aj just got inside laughing.

After eating the amazing food, we had to go to our second location, which was Ematsayi primary school, where again amazing kids we had to teach today, were waiting for us.

The beta squad teached them the “say good, good, good” song, we obviously all love.

“Aj as a teacher,” Chunkz began “is mental.”

“I’m the best teacher.” Aj stated. “And the best student.”

“You might aswell start.” Niko pointed at Aj, “This is your teacher ‘mr. Triangle’ everyone say hello mr. Triangle” Niko introduced Aj to the kids.

All the kids repeated Niko “Hello mr. Triangle” all the guys and you started laughing while Aj thanked them.

“What’s his name?” Niko asked, now he was doing it on purpose, but it still was funny.

“Mr. Triangle.” All the kids said.

It was now the last day in Africa, the third day and we were in Nairobi where the guys were going to a safari for the last challenge. The people greeted us with flowers again.

For the last challenge the guys had to do an animal bingo, basically each of them had to pick three animals they think will be in the safari and whoever saw the three animals first, wins.

First animal we saw was chimpanzee, which was picked by Sharky so he had two more to go. “Come on, tell us something about chimpanzees y/n.” Sharky asked you.

“I dunno, chimpanzees have the ability to learn human’s language, such as sign language.” You told them, not sure what to say, but they expected something from you, as you work with animals. “But chimpanzees are only found in Africa so I don’t know much.”

“That’s actually really interesting.”

“That’s why I picked chimpanzees.” Sharky says, probably referring to the fact that they’re only in Africa.

We saw other animals small animals no one picked, we saw a tortoise and he almost, just almost made it to grass, Niko even said it was just as slow as Chunkz on football pitch.

“Y/n, what’s the difference between tortoise and turtle?” Kenny asked, honestly there was not much of a difference.

“Hmm.. there’s not much, except turtles usually spend their time in water while tortoises spend their time on land.” You said, “Also tortoises have more rounded and domed shells where turtles have thinner, more water dynamic shells.”

“Great. So it looks like we’re gonna know more information about animals today,” Aj talked to the camera, “as we have Y/n and she works with animals, so she knows more than us.”

You smiled at Aj talking. Next we saw elephant signs, but unfortunately there was no elephants as the driver or the owner told us, so there was no point for Niko.

Aj saw a Hippo in water, which he was surprised to and happy, he even applauded and gave you few high fives.

You wanted to tell them something about hippos so you spoke, “Guys did you know that Hippos thrive underwater? They can hold their breath for an average of five minutes.”

“And that’s just average?” Niko asked, to what you nodded.

“Mhm. That’s long enough to take walks along lakebed and riverbed floors.” You added.

“No wonder their nickname is ‘river horse’!” Chunkz joked. Also Aj was in the lead right now, so he only needs to see a tiger and he has won.

We next saw ostrich, which was on Sharkys list, now Kenny on the other hand was definitely not winning this challenge, because he has not seen a single animal he named, he named most animals you can’t see here.

The driver said that giraffes are coming up, so Chunkz of course got happy because giraffe is on his list, “ohh,” he yelled-sang, “he said giraffes, I see the giraffes.” Chunkz said looking at everyone, honestly it was cute how excited he was.

“I see giraffes with long necks.” Chunkz continued to sing.

“Look.” You pointed “it’s Niko’s siblings.”

“And that’s the fact for giraffes?” Niko laughed, and you nodded “yeah, horror.”

“Are we going to see a seal today?” Kenny asked the driver.

“If we go to South Africa.” The driver told him, Kenny laughing at his answer.

“Aye Kenny you’re not winning this.” You said wrapping your arm around his shoulder jokingly.

The journey continued, we saw more animals, they continued to ask you questions about some animals, but none of them were on the guy’s bingo cards, we drives past cheetah, but Chunkz didn’t saw it so there was no point for him.

It was already now getting dark, it was already 7pm and as we were getting ready to leave we saw a giraffe on road, it was actually so close, and it was even taller closer.

“I wanna touch it.” Kenny said.

“Kenny!” You called out, “it is not permitted touching the giraffe sadly.”

“Why not?” They asked.

“Just for safety reasons.” You smiled, not wanting to cause trouble for the giraffe or anyone else. The giraffe was really close so you could take a picture of it.

It was completely dark now, and y’all saw none of the animals, but mosquitoes. “Ai all we’ve got now is mosquitoes,” Niko said “just going in my eyes.”

“Ai who hit me wallahi..” Aj complained and it was most likely Chunkz who was hitting the mosquitoes away.

“Wasn’t me.” Chunkz quickly defended himself.

“It’s probably because of that damn bright light you have..” you complained, “if it would’ve been turned off, they wouldn’t attack us so much..” you rolled your eyes.

“Well we can’t film in dark’.” Kenny says , at your sudden attitude, probably because you were getting mad of the mosquitoes sucking your blood.

Niko talked to the camera like he always does, like he’s crazy, while everyone else just tried to not fall as the car we were in was going side to side from the awful road.

Kenny was squishing Aj as Aj was laying almost on Sharky and Chunkz, you got up and went next to Niko, because you’d rather talk to the camera than be squished.

Aj had won the challenge even tho as Sharky and Chunkz also had 2 animals, but Aj was the first one to reach two points.

It was finally the time to go back home, honestly you were excited to go home, but on the other hand you didn’t wanna leave Kenya.

But landing in Uk back, you and Kenny both went home straight because all you wanted to do was go home and get under the sheets with Kenny.

[cocogrrrl]

Can I please request a Kyle x Reader fic where the reader is playing Juliet to Kenny's Romeo in the school play and Kyle gets jealous?

"virtue itself turns vice, being misapplied,"

when the cast list for school's rendition of romeo and juliet is revealed, you find that kyle is not your romeo—but kenny is.

kyle broflovski x fem!reader no cws wc: 1635

an: i took some liberty with this and added A LOT MORE LOL more than i expected . if kyle is not a basketball player he is a theatre kid first and foremost!!

“Kenny?!”

“Hm? What about Kenny?” You raise a brow, confused.

“He’s playing as Romeo,” he huffs out, crossing his arms as he dejectedly rests his weight against the wall. “I didn’t even know that he auditioned too.”

“I thought that you're supposed to be happy for your friend,” you say, clicking your tongue.

“I am,” he sighs, shaking his head. “I just…” He points over to the top of the cast list taped to the wall.

Frankly, you’re more than a little lost, but your eyes scan over a few details before reading the second line of the actual list. You, of all people, play Juliet. Over however many other people. As honored as you are, two and two quickly come together, and you understand what he means.

“Kyle,” you sigh.

“I know, I know. I should be happy.”

“No, yeah, but I get where you’re coming from. I think it is a little funny, though.” You giggle. “You’re lucky there isn’t anyone else here. You’re really loud.”

“Sorry,” he mumbles out.

“It’s fine,” you grin, pinching his cheek. You pull his hand and tug him to your left. “Come on. I have biology in, like, five minutes.” 

✎⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Needless to say, as happy as Kyle could be for his friend, he heeds his jealousy better than the rest of the emotions in his head. In all honesty, you find it funny how obvious it is as well.

What’s even funnier is that Kyle plays Friar Lawrence.

“Alright! Can we go over Act Two, Scene Three again?” Wendy yells from the distance. “No need to change the set, just one more run-through.”

You hear some of the people onstage moving the set pieces from the party aside just to prepare for better movement for the blockings in this next scene. Kenny shuffles to the back and sends you a finger bang. You return the gesture.

From behind the stage, you catch Kyle’s eye twitch. You play it off, though, pretending you were looking elsewhere. You’re certain, though, that he saw you. The daggers he sends your way even pierces through you.

You wave at Kyle encouragingly as he gets ready to start. He smiles at you and waves back. 

“Is everyone ready?” You hear Wendy call from the other side. A half-hearted yes is returned from the crew. “Okay, act two, scene three: Romeo asks Friar Lawrence to wed him and Juliet in secret. Three, two, one!”

“The gray-eyed morn smiles on the frowning night,” On the beat, Kyle emerges from the left of the stage with his basket. He holds his temperament so well, though, it’s as if he isn’t fuming right now.

“Honestly, I don’t know how Kyle does it,” Kenny muses, watching from the side.

“Hmm?” You cocked your head to the side, a little confused.

“His part is really boring, but, like,” he pauses, trying to find the right words. “I think he’s really good at executing it. Like, he captures the role so well it’s captivating.”

You stand there and nod. 

“Not that I’m saying he’s really boring!” He quickly adds on. “I’m just saying that he knows how to hold an audience, you know?”

“Virtue itself turns vice, being misapplied,” Kyle breathes, looking over to the other side of the stage—your side. “And vice sometime by action dignified.”

Not even giving you time to reply to what he last said, Kenny waves before going in. “Ah, that’s my cue.”

You shoot him a ‘good luck!’ as he enters. You’re not close with the guy, but it’s interesting seeing Kenny hold such adoration for him. You wonder if Kyle is aware of it.

✎⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ You notice how long this goes on, and you feel that this jealousy isn’t as shallow as he lets on.

“Kyle?” You spoke, looking at him with his head low.

He’s still in his costume, and he seems exhausted but uncharacteristically upset after a long day of tech rehearsals. He can be, but everyone else is more than excited. You know just why.

“Yeah?” He mumbles in reply.

You find a seat right next to him behind the stage. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just a little tired.”

“Totally,” you mindlessly snapped, clicking your tongue.

“Hey…” He pouts.

“Sorry, I…” You shook your head, taking back what you said. ”You know, I thought it was a little funny at first that you were so worked up over the fact that Kenny’s Romeo and you’re not,” you huffed. “But, you’re actually, like, worrying me now.”

Kyle’s quiet, and you don’t like that. He knows you don’t.

“Kyle.” You repeat his name, hoping it will call his attention back. You’re certain he has more than just a few things on his mind right now.

“Sorry.”

“What are you saying sorry for?”

“For upsetting you.”

“Kyle, I’m sure there’s more to this than just you being jealous.” You said more softly than what your previous tone would suggest. You find your head resting on his shoulder.  ”What’s wrong?”

“It’s… It’s just,” he pauses, scratching his head. “Like, after all these practices with you and Kenny together, I just can’t help but feel like you guys are really good. He’s really a good fit for you and for the role.”

You’re confused. Never have you ever felt like Kyle’s hinted at infidelity. If that were the case, you’d be more than offended, but you only nod, urging him to go along.

“I don’t know,” he sighs. “I guess it means a lot more outside than just the role in the grand scheme of things. Like, I’m not good enough for the role of Romeo.”

You’re quiet, brows scrunched as you worriedly find the words to tell him. So it’s otherwise.

“That on top of, like, yeah, Kenny kissing you every other day onstage.” He says in a poor attempt to lighten the mood. In a panic, though, thinking you’re judging, he mumbles out, “Sorry, it’s really selfish.”

“No, no, don’t be sorry for that,” you cooed, lifting your head above and tilting him to look at you. “You’re really so much more than you think you are. I mean that with my whole chest.”

He’s quiet. You’re not sure if he doesn’t know what to say or if he doesn’t have anything to say. You take it as a sign to continue, though.

“You know, Kenny holds a lot of respect for you. He thinks you’re an excellent actor.” He hums in return. “He told me once that while you were doing your monologue in that scene where Romeo asks Friar Lawrence to wed him and Juliet, you really have this commanding presence that pulls the audience in.

“He said that it wasn’t a flashy role, a boring one actually, and he thinks you’re more than noble having charm and making the role more interesting than it actually looks. It’s a talent.” You laughed, recalling the memory.

He’s quiet, and you only stare into his eyes as lovingly as you can, patiently waiting for his reply. “Really?”

“Yeah, and he’s right. You really do know how to turn a rather mundane role into something really bigger than that. There is a good reason why you’re Friar Lawrence in the first place.”

“Thank you…” He’s coy about it, really coy, but you think it’s so honest that it’s sweet. “Really, thank you. I did not know that.”

“Well, now you do,” you hum. “It’s the truth. I hope you see yourself the way everyone does.”

“I don’t, but I thank you for helping me see myself in a different light.”

“Of course.” You smile, pulling his face close to yours and pressing a kiss to his temple.

✎⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ “Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much, which mannerly devotion shows in this; for saints have hands that pilgrims’ hands do touch,” your pinky holding Kenny’s brings it closer, bringing your palms together, holding. “And palm to palm is holy palmers’ kiss.”

“Have not saints lips and holy palmers too?”

Yet, in all honesty, you find that Kenny holds up too. He has that flashy charm and wide-eyed naivety to a T needed for Romeo’s character executed so well. You can’t help but applaud his skill. 

“Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer.” You shake your head with a smile, taking a few steps back, yet hands still connecting one another.

He only brings you closer, a hand now finding your waist. “O then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do. They pray: grant thou, lest faith turn to despair.”

“Saints do not move, though grant for prayers’ sake.” You hum.

“Then move not while my prayer’s effect I take,” he pressed against your lips, bringing you closer with the hand on your waist. It lasts for longer than Kyle would like (Then again, he’d hate for this scene to happen in the first place.). “Thus from my lips, by thine, my sin is purged.”

“Then have my lips the sin that they have took.” You put a bewildered look on, more than gleeful.

He speaks gravity and haste, rushing out of excitement. “Sin from my lips? O trespass sweetly urged! Give me my sin again.” Once more, he kisses you again.

“You kiss by the book.” You hum.

“Madam, your mother craves a word with you.” You’re swiftly cut off by the nurse who walks into the scene. 

You find yourself walking up to Lady Capulet. The scene runs on for a few more minutes, but you find yourself backstage with Kyle waiting for you at the exit.

Neither of you can’t say anything, your mics are still on, but he hugs you and pinches your cheeks, making your smile wider.

“You were amazing,” you vaguely make out from his lips. 

You only nod, pulling him close and hugging him tight.

[creek-dump-blog]

Creek Fanfiction Rambles #1: The Lost Boys by craigtrash

If you go on my pinned post you'll notice my Creek fanfiction list has changed. I've been reading more fanfictions on AO3 & Wattpad and it's time to add to the list! I'll probably make a Creek fiction ramble for each fanfic that I add going foward

I can get very rambly🦝so fair warning if you're not into that

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This fanfic in particular was hard to place on my list... I'm very weird when it comes to ranking things. I pretty much rate the higher fics based on personal preferences and this fic pretty clicked all the boxes for me. Even though it's not #1 it's still an incredibly solid read and I love it to death

So, without further ado! Let me present to you:

2. The Lost Boys by craigtrash (AO3)

Rating: Explicit (Abuse, Sexually Explicit Content)

Guys, don't be completely shocked but this is actually a Creekenny fic (no Creekenny slander here >:( ). When I first got into South Park Fanfiction Creekenny wasn't even something that I was looking at but I stumbled upon this fanfic called Date Night by Luces on (AO3) and I was like, "Hey, that's acutally pretty good!" so I looked for Creekenny tags on AO3 and I stumbled upon this amazing fic!

Alright, let me actually talk about the fanfic (I told you I was rambly)

Everyone, lets god bless this fic because craigtrash added Mysterion because he's THE GOAT!!!! Any Creekenny fic that adds Mysterion is +1000 points for me! Also, I love how they added Karen into this. I wish Matt and Trey explored Kenny and Karen's relationship (honestly Kevin too) but even they admitted themselves that they don't use Kenny enough

I really love the relationship Craig, Tweek, and Kenny have. Kenny is a usual flirt but is genuine with Craig and Tweek. Tweek is not as much of a "spaz" as he was younger and I appreciate the self growth. Craig, Craig never changes but that's also pretty damn accurate so it's acutally a good thing

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I don't want to spoil too much. The story is really solid, but what really stood out to me was how long craigtrash was working on the fic. If you look at the stats of the fic they've been working on The Lost Boys since 2016. That's a lot of dedication and I really commend that. They're also taking the time to edit the fanfiction

I LOVE THIS FIC and I would love for it to continue, but I'm also more okay if they don't continue it or take it slow. Writing fanfiction IS HARD and whatever they end up deciding to do with the fic (well, except for taking it off AO3. I would cry ;-;) I'll be ok with it

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Here's some of my fanart :D

Tweek wearing glasses 😎

Not completely accurate to the scene but I thought it was funny

[eddiediazismyhusband]

not to be that guy but i really need to know what oliver and friends (ryan) were doing before they posted the mustache pics on instagram. O and R both look so flushed and R looks so giddy? like were you guys playing basketball? doing drugs?? making out??? why do they look like thatttt! especially ryan he looks so smitten and for what?! i must know :’)

honestly not to be a party pooper im p sure its a mixture of their normal giggly selves whenever ryan oliver and kenny are together plus that added factor that it’s hot as fuck in california

but bless ryan he can’t not look at oliver like he hung the moon… like you can genuinely tell how close they are (hell the whole cast) and how much reverence ryan has for everyone on set and vice versa

it’s always been funny to me how ryan is always the first person to like anything aisha posts and how he is constantly hanging out w kenny and how he and oliver can’t keep their eyes off each other they really have the same exact group dynamic as they do on the show and it’s such a joy to see

[memberment]

Genesis

Good morning everyone.

Now I have done something a little funny.... If you take a peak you'll see minor edits were made to the prologue...

But nothing's different!

That's a lie. I did not fix a grammatical or spelling error. Something was in fact, added in. But the only way to find it is using outside the box thinking since you can't just read it. You gotta do something to read it.

Because I. Am. Silly.

I will drop a hint though because y'all listen to my existential screams and indulge my nonsense on a regular basis and I love and appreciate that. Empty spaces in between paragraphs usually cannot be highlighted. Happy hunting if you're nosy.

Okay I'm done speaking in crypticism and riddles. Seriously someone take my computer away because I had the computer intellect of a boomer with enough lead in them to kill several horses last night and now I'm getting a hang of coding and THAT SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED LMFAO

Also updates are gonna be here today but it's prob gonna be primarily art updates BECAUSE I WANT THIS FIRST CHAP OUT ON SUNDAY FR!!!

6:33 I am HOPING all I need to do is fix a few more things in this and then I'm done (but my pencil died so I'm back to writing).

Anyways writing update: I just finished 11 (which honestly might get moved to like 12/13/14 depending on everything. Because Clyde going on a date with Kenny and then NOTHING happening after that but there is also no immediate danger so there's nothing to stop it feels wild and not right.) BUT 11 IS DONE! And I'm at 35.9k.

GUYS how are we feeling about this bc I DONT KNOW LMAO

1:45 update: I am 38k deep and still on 12. I didn't write much today. BUT NO ONE LET ME FORGET I NEED TO ADD SOMETHING INTO THE PROLOGUE. I DON'T WANNA DO THE MATH RIGHT NOW BUT NO ONE LET ME FORGET!!!!

2:26 NEVERMIND I FUCKING DID IT OH MY GOD. THIS IS GONNA BE SUCH A JAW DROPPING MOMENT WHEN IT CLICKS I'M SO HYPED OH MY GODDDDDDDD

Oh also I'm probs shutting down for the night at 38.4k. 12 is almost done but so is my ability to write because even though I only wrote a teeny bit, I REALLY WANNA FINISH DRAWING HEIDI!!1 (I'm at the trust the process point where I just have line art and I feel like if I don't finish it I'm gonna throw up and I have to wake up early tm.)

Hi happy almost 430 I just gotta do her background 🥳🥳 (I HAVE BEEN DYING TO DRAW THE SANA FUTABA FIT I AM SO HAPPY RN)

[h-harleybaby]

I would like to request a Elf King!Kyle x Human!Princess!Reader. Reader is Cartman's sister and forbids Kyle from liking her.

Thank you <33

Those are super cute Tbh

I have so many Elf King Kyle x human princess reader requests I decided I’d do one post about it

It’s probably gonna take me a sec to write it but I will gladly <333

Elf King Kyle x Human Princess Reader

• When Elf King Kyle saw you, mans was HEAD OVER HEELS, it was love at first sight and he doesn’t even really believe in that

• When you guys first met on business for a peace treaty between the elves and the humans y'all ended up getting distracted and becoming friends

• He really tried being intimidated but it didn't work at all considering his face was a shade of red and he was sweating the whole time. I mean you were in a similar state so it wasn't as bad for Kyle as it probably would've been

• After a while of talking he found out that honestly, you were only on Cartmans side because he was your brother. And even you had to admit, the man was an annoying shit that sometimes you couldn't deal with

• Y'all ended up bonding over your similar feelings towards your brother

• Ofc your meeting ended up being cut short when your brother kept sending messenger after messenger to come get you because he was bored of waiting for you

• When you got back and he heard from his messengers you best believe he started gagging and said that he'd handle the affairs with the elf kingdom now. He can't have his sister having a crush on Kyle!! That's soooooo gross

• He definitely told Kyle that he's forbidden to see the human princess (you) and that it's not allowed for anyone to have crushes on you because he has the stick of truth and its super weird for him. Why it's weird for him specifically no one will ever know

• Obviously that didn't stop Kyle, why would he listen to him?? It's Cartman after all

• This started secret meetings between you guys, it honestly wasn't that hard to sneak out considering your brother snores like a fucking leaf blower

• The elves caught wind of this because duh, it's their kingdom they should know what's happening in it

• So one night before you left the elf kingdom after one of you and Kyle's secret meetings, some elves kidnapped you

• They didn't hurt you in any way it was almost kinda funny because of how bad of a job they did. They tried blindfolding you... but used really really thin fabric you could see out of

• Anyways, for the most part they just questioned you a lot. They kept asking if you had a crush on the king and in general, were shipping you guys

• To be honest, the elves loved you and just wanted a chance to talk to you. At some point they untied you and took off the blindfold so you guys just had a normal conversation

• They really wanted to get to know the girl that their king was so smitten with, that he would talk about her any and EVERY chance he got

• Cartman was definitely pissed when you got home, how he knew you were gone was beyond you. He kept grumbling about how you "smelled of stupid elves" which was really weird

• Yeah no, turns out he just got one of the humans to spy on you and tell him what they saw. Gee, thanks man :rolling eyes:

• Anyways, the secret meetings continued because who the hell was gonna stop you? Definitely not your brother, and y'alls mom thought it was cute so she wasn't gonna try either

• Soon enough, the meetings started turning into unspoken dates before you guys eventually made it official

• Both of you were so obvious it was almost stupid how neither of y'all realized until your individual knights told you

• Stan is definitely Kyle's wing man, no doubt

• Butters and Kenny are probably yours, which is utter chaos but that's for another time

• Honestly, your brother wasn't happy about this but the elves would totally beat his ass for you so he wasn't gonna say anything about it for once

• Kyle (not so) jokingly calls you his elf queen and it's super sweet

My lil Cartman shimeji was staring at me as I wrote this, he's so dang cute <3333

anyways ignore spelling mistakes, shhhh they are not thereeee

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

kenjaku is genuinely so creepy and i think that’s one of the reason why i love him SOOO much !! ive always had a liking towards characters who are insanely messed up and grotesque and kenny is like the perfect example of that. hes gross like — actually. i think hes a good example of how genuinely fucked up jjk is, and as much as people hate him i think he’s such an amazing character. gege’s dark writing when it comes to him and sukuna is so IWHSHSBSHEWJW !! sukuna being a cannibal and his entire thing revolving around cooking is so cool to me. like his entire character circles around things like that. he can use fire which.. cooking! when you cook you can eat! sukuna eats ppl.. his malevolent shrine is just a bunch of slashes which cut you to death and when you cook you’re usually cutting and chopping things.. with kenjaku and the whole pregnancy thing as well.. the womb.. it’s like disturbing and honestly it makes ppl a little sick but i find it so interesting because that kind of writing i LOVELOVEEE SMM!! kenjaku was willing to do the most nasty things just to get his plan to work. he’s such a scum of the earth guy sigh.. that’s why im so SOO happy i found this blog because you also like kenjaku and i can safely talk about my love for him without getting jumped 💔 im really sorry this is so long!! im just really happy it’s a safe spot to talk about these things! i love horror :3

i love kenny 🐑

THIS THIS THIS THIS . GOD. THIS.

i literally love you so much lambnon you worded this perfectly….. i loveeeee horror elements in fiction and i agree that jjk does it so so SO well!!!! sukuna & kenjaku are such great examples because not only are they morally reprehensible in really disgusting ways, they also … feel literally no shame over it. they never try to justify it . morality doesn’t even exist to them, and i think villains like that are sooo fun <33

sukuna’s cannibalism and general thematic ties to food & eating is SO tasty especially since it all goes back to him eating his twin in the womb … it’s like eating is a curse that follows him around but he’s made it into a point of pride. you know? he’s so unabashedly awful and i loveeee that about him…..

AND KENJAKU. i agree on all points!!!! everything!!!!!! he’s soooooo creepy and so eerie and so gross. i find it really funny and fitting that even sukuna thinks of kenjaku as a freak LMAO. which is . extra interesting when you remember that the womb is a special place even to sukuna… and kenny sort of… perverts it. he makes it into his own science lab. it’s so twisted and sickening and tasty because kenjaku doesn’t just impregnate that woman from the kamo clan, he impregnates himself!!!! and i can only imagine that he did it partially just out of worldly curiosity which is….. sooo . him? he’s so insane? 😭

literally nothing is off limits to kenjaku, and that makes him such a fun villain….

^ i think he says it best himself :3c

the womb motif in general is also so . Good… the motherism of it all….. i’m forever bitter that we never got to see his domain in action because the fact that it’s basically a manifestation of a womb realm is soooooo fucking sick oh my god. body horror is so scary to me but also so insanely tasty and the fact that kenjaku’s whole character revolves around it just!!! scratches my brain. no pun intended.

anyway …. this ask made me a little insane. i’m so happy to have you here lambnon!!!! :’3 this blog will always be a safe space for lovers of the grotesque / of kenjaku in general <333 our beloved scum!!!

[corporatefrog]

꒦‧₊ ꒷ team stan comforting you when you're stressed out [headcannons]✧.*

✧.* tags: mentions of drugs, college au ✧.* Characters: kenny mccormick, kyle broflovski, stan marsh, butters stotch a/n: honestly, it helps me to work through my problems when i have a little fictional world to escape into so this request was a nice therapeutic writing with finals coming up

masterlist

Stan

Empathetic king right here

He probably won’t approach you because he doesn’t know if you want to talk about it or if you want your space

But if you ask him to talk he’d definitely listen

Very good listener!!

If it’s a person causing the emotional stress, stan is not having it

This is the guy who sat in his bedroom with a bunch of calves for DAYS, you know he’s going to be up in arms if someone else is causing you to be distressed 

Definitely the type to suggest different things to take your mind off whatever’s stressing you out

Playing video games and ordering pizza!! Best way to destress!! 

You could probably talk him into getting some of randy’s weed ngl (strike)

Kyle

He’s the type to give advice to whatever is troubling you

He doesn’t like to see his friends stressed and he wants to help!!

Helps you take a step back from the situation and see it more objectively

It doesn’t erase the stress but it gives good steps to approach it in a different way

Que brainstorming session to create a plan of attack for whatever’s bugging you

First day of being sad, talk to stan and eat pizza

Second day of being sad, talk to kyle and make a game plan

Dynamic duo of being stressed

Even if you don’t make an attack plan, he’s definitely a “let’s talk this through” type of person to at least find where the spiraling thoughts are occurring

Kenny

Reaches out to you first because he notices you being stressed

He’s really observant even if he doesn’t act on it often

All you need sometimes is a good hug

And a ton of weed and bad adam sandler movies (strike)

The type to try and make you laugh when he notices you’re feeling down

If you want to talk, he’ll listen but he’ll try and cheer you up regardless

You guys would go to starks pond or something and throw rocks in the water

A change of setting can do wonders!!

He definitely knows the best places in south park to chill without anyone bugging you

Que the south park hideout tour with your guide, kenny

Butters

He knows how important it is to have someone to listen

He’ll listen to you vent even if he has no idea what you’re talking about

“And they said WHAT?! That’s ridiculous!”

Getting ice cream and sitting on the deck for hours just complaining about everything

He somehow puts a positive spin on every situation no matter how bad

You always leave feeling lighter than before

Another hugger

Always giving a good hug before you guys part ways

He’ll send you funny videos after you’re both home and text you that you can talk to him whenever you need

Checks in if he hasn’t talked to you for a few days to see how you’re doing

[vctrvn-ls]

hi i love your writing it makes my heart feel so funny and warm so thank you🫶🏾🫶🏾. i was wondering if you could write for sharky. maybe something about sharky meeting y/n at kenny's birthday party and then y/n gets really drunk so sharky offers to bring them home and in the end its just all really cute and fluffy and all the boys are teasing him afterwards.

love this, it’s so cute 🤭

That One Room | Sharky |

warnings: language

wordcount: 5.5k

"Oh god this fucking dress." You huff as you pull the bottom down, annoyed at your choice of clothing.

"What? It's so cute!" Your friend Nella looked you up and down through the bathroom mirror. You gave her a "seriously?" look and walked out of the bathroom into your hotel room.

You glanced at the time on your phone "It's almost 11:00." You say as Nella plops down on the couch next to you with a big tired groan. You sit down beside her and close your eyes, enjoying the quiet for a bit.

Today was the 20th of March. Kenny's birthday.

Yes the Kenny from YouTube's Beta Squad. You personally knew him from FootAsylum, and because of your weekly shootings, you had become good friends. Maybe not too good, but good enough for him to invite you to his massive celebration right in the middle of London.

He rented out a whole floor at one of London's fancy hotels (which you didn't even know the name of) and invited a shit ton of people.

Crazy guy is what you thought.

The floor was mostly a club or some sort of disco area and the rest of it was an indoor pool.

Weird.

And knowing that you'd probably get drunk out of your mind, and because you didn't want to drive back and forth through London, you and Nella did what basically everyone else did: get a hotel room a couple of floors below (couple of floors because no one wants to hear booming music in their drunken sleep).

And as you and Nella laid around on the couch, you couldn't stop complaining about your dress and the fact that it kept riding up and almost revealing your butt, little did you know that that was something you will have forgotten about almost instantly.

"Girl I got you. I won't be leaving your side. I'll cover your precious ass." She joked.

"Nells I'm serious!" You gave her a shove "I'm not going to survive the embarrassment if tomorrow a drunk video of me in my underwear will be surfing the net!"

"Oh god y/n, these aren't Hollywood superstars. I know like more than half of these people and they aren't as vile as you think they are!" Nella had a point. You had only just began your whole YouTube career after one of your FootAsylum videos skyrocketed and you became (not a well-known) but a known influencer.

As worried as you were, you might've been overreacting a little. You knew a good amount of people (or more like heard of them) that were coming and really nothing could go wrong.

"Hey, Kenny." You say as he waved from inside the party room that was practically empty.

"Where is everyone?" You quiz as you lean in for a greeting hug.

"You guys actually came early." A tint of enthusiasm was heard in his voice which made you feel welcomed and wanted.

"You guys can do whatever you want. Toilet's down the hallway and out the door, it's both men and women so don't get scared, bar is right there," Kenny pointed to a fancy setup which was mostly made up of glass "If you need to get away you can go down the other hallway, there's like couches or something...but honestly I doubt anyone will use that room. Pool, smoke room I think they have hookas there-"

"Shiiit," Nella grins excitedly.

"Yeah and uh if you need anything come to me." Kenny claps his hands and looks at both of you.

There's nothing you can do except nod, all of a sudden all the previous worry washed away. This place was too good and too worth it to be hiding in a little corner.

Five minutes later you and Nella ended up splitting. You went to the bar and she was too intrigued by the hookas that she couldn't wait until you got your hands on at least one drink.

You hop on the stool in-front of the counter and smile at the bartender "One Negroni please."

"Yes ma'am," he says extra formally, in a joking way, and starts throwing bottles around and doing...bartender-y things.

While he was working his magic, you were busy looking around the room. A few more faces showed up and some of them looked familiar. You recognized Chunkz, Niko and there were two more guys, names of which you struggled to recall.

One thing you knew for sure is that they were part of the Beta Squad and you thought you even saw one on the set of FootAsylum's Liar Liar. Your thoughts were quickly cleared and forgotten as the satisfying clinging of the glass caught your attention. You turned around and saw your drink, instantly grinning and picking it up "Thank you." You nodded and turned to face the spacious room, determined to find Nella as fast as possible.

You didn't really need to "search" for her. You knew exactly where she was at.

"I'm scared for your lungs." You stood over Nella, who was spread out on the couch, blowing puffs of smoke in your face.

"Ironic. Well I'm worried for your kidneys." She points at the drink in your hand and sends another cloud at you, making you break out into a series of coughs.

"Right-" you wheeze "I'll be at the bar if you need me." You cover your mouth and hurry out of the room, sighing as you felt the fresh cold and airconed air hit your skin.

During everything that was mentioned earlier, somewhere in the middle of the room all of Beta Squad, along with Harry and Filly, were exchanging thoughts on the upcoming party.

"This place looks fire." AJ said, looking around in awe.

"Yeah, crazy how many people he invited." Niko chuckled pointing at Kenny.

"What? How many?" Chunkz raised his eyebrows, sure that it couldn't be that much.

"Not that much," Kenny tried looking away.

"Oh yeah, yeah," Niko said sarcastically "I saw the list. It's mad, I'm telling you he's gone up to every single person in London and asked if they wanna come."

Everyone laughed at Niko's comment.

"Nah it'll be fun." Kenny nodded "It's a chance for everyone to meet new people." He shrugged.

"Yeah or clart them." Harry blurted out, all his jokes being more out of pocket than the previous ones.

"Woooaahhh!" Chunkz exclaimed while everyone laughed, probably more from how awkwardly Harry had said it rather than the actual "joke".

"On the topic of new people." Sharky spoke up, coming over to Kenny and placing a hand on his shoulder "Who's that with Nella."

Kenny followed Sharky's gaze, seeing you talking to Nella next to the bar.

Of course everyone else looked.

"Guys don't stare!" Sharky whispered aggressively, nudging Chunkz and Niko that were closest to him.

"Yeah see he gets what I mean." Harry said, referring to his previous joke.

"Tsk, Harry what the hell." Sharky furrowed his eyebrows while everyone tried to hide their giggles and smiles.

"That's y/n." Kenny turned back to his friend "Haven't you met before?"

Sharky shook his head "I think I would've remembered."

Kenny shrugged "I can introduce you."

A few woo’s and ooh’s emitted from the guys, which Sharky quickly had to shush down.

"No I don't want it to be awkward." He glanced at you one more time, this time seeing you by yourself while Nella went to the smoke room.

"Go talk to her," Niko poked Sharky's shoulder "While she's alone."

"Nooooo," Sharky hissed at Niko, flicking away his finger "It's gonna be awkward as fuck."

"Pussy." AJ stated.

"Aje shut the fuck up." Sharky fired back "I said I don't wanna scare her."

"Or maybe you're just scared yourself." Kenny grinned.

"You too? Seriously?"

"Ok, ok, sorry." Kenny put his arms on Sharkys shoulders and hurried to apologize.

"How about Kenny just introduces all of us to her and then like...you know," Chunkz moved his eyebrows up and down.

"Yeah that could work." Kenny nodded.

"Can't believe Sharky's scared of gyal." AJ snickered from behind Filly, who was also trying not to laugh.

It really came as a shock to everyone that one of the most good looking guys of the group was scared to approach a lady, despite Sharky saying that "he didn't want to scare you off". Yes, maybe he didn't, but he was also scared himself, just like Kenny had said.

Fast forward back to the present where you were walking out of the hookah room. You took a sip of your Negroni before opening the door and as you did, you were caught off guard by the group of people that were right in front of you. Your breathe hitched but instead of breathing air you inhaled a bit of your drink and began coughing.

"Oh shit we did scare her." AJ commented from behind everyone. Luckily it wasn't too bad to get everyone worried.

"y/n, remember how you asked me about the Beta Squad?" Kenny gleamed at you.

You cleared your throat "Yeah."

"Well I'd like to introduce you to Chunkz," you shook his hand, of course you knew Chunkz, "And this is Niko-"

"Nice to meet you." He was very tall in person.

"AJ," that's who looked familiar off of FootAsylum's set "Then you've seen these two around often on shooting, Filly and Harry."

"Hi," you tried to put on a friendly smile, but really you were terrified by the amount of people you were in front of right now.

"And Sharky."

You extended your arm out before looking up. As you did, your fake smile quickly turned into a real one as you acknowledged the man before you. You shook hands too and as you did his friends spoke up.

"He likes football." Someone stated.

"He can drive-"

"Also he started cooking-"

You furrowed your eyebrows and chuckled in confusion as the comments kept coming.

"Yeah he makes the best soups-"

"Guys what the hell." Sharky tried to get everyone to calm down, but no one was planning on stopping. They didn't do it out of jokes, they genuinely wanted to present their friend.

"He has a podcast."

Now that caught your attention.

"Really?" You quizzed, interest drawn all over your face and Sharky caught onto it straight away.

"Yeah." He nodded proudly.

"I've been wanting to start one for ageeess," you explain, now forgetting about everyone and focusing on Sharky and what he had to say "Could you maybe like," you shrug "Give me any tips? Or maybe like tell me how you started everything?"

"Yeah sure." He said as calmly as he possibly could, but inside he was bursting! Not only did he successfully approach you (well kind of) he ended up gaining your interest which hinted at a future conversation.

"Alright, then we'll leave you to it." Kenny smiled, he was probably more excited than Sharky himself in the moment.

"Oh- Like right now?" You ask "Are you sure? I don't wanna like-" you motion to the guys "Separate you from everyone. It's a party after all."

"It hasn't even started yet." AJ said bluntly, earning a smack on the head from Harry with a whisper of "Shut up."

"No I don't mind." Sharky shook his head "Besides it's one of the things I can talk about for a loooong time." He grinned.

Your face was glowing with enthusiasm and you couldn't wait to hear Sharky's story...and possibly spend time with him, but you were still working out that part. After getting yourself a Martini, you and Sharky headed to the couch areas, yes that exact room that you were sure no one was going to use. But hey, this doesn't count, like AJ said the party hasn't even begun yet.

"Soooo," you said as the two of you sat down next to each other, maybe a little awkwardly "What's the best advice you can give me?"

Sharky chuckled "Well it's all about the desire of actually doing it. Just like with anything you have to be passionate and patient to get the results you want."

You nod in agreement, surprised at how wise he sounded.

"You need to choose a topic and it would be best if it's a range of things that are connected to one other thing so you don't feel like you're going off topic when you talk."

You nod, genuinely interested and fully submerged into the ongoing conversation.

For half an hour the two of you talked just about podcasting, but the other half hour was when things started to get a little more interesting.

The conversation steered in a totally different direction after you asked Sharky "Wait why didn't you get yourself a drink?" And then you discovered that he apparently doesn't drink at all.

"WHAT!?" You exclaimed "No fucking way."

"Yes fucking way." Sharky laughed.

"You're telling me you've never had alcohol? Ever?"

He shook his head.

It was like your world had exploded.

Then after religion you started talking about life in general. Sharky told you all about The Beta Squad and how it all started, whilst you shared your story about how you became friends with Nella Rose and ended up on FootAsylum.

You were currently talking about sports and who supported which football team, when suddenly you heard a loud bang vibrate through the glass walls. You turned to the door seeing Nella with a shocked expression and two drinks in her hands. You looked back at Sharky "Shit, we should probably go back."

He scratched the back of his head, nodding.

"Well, I'll see you around." You flash a smile at him before getting up and joining Nella.

Sharky watched you leave the room, saying something to your friend, making her laugh.

He didn't take his eyes off of you, watching you take a sip and wince at what he probably guessed was a strong cocktail. He kept his gaze stuck onto you until you turned the corner and disappeared back into the main party room.

He sighed taking a second to process his thoughts and feelings. He didn't know what exactly it was that he was feeling. Ironically everyone always said that he was the "ladies man" but as soon as it actually comes to the real life interaction, he was just as confused as everyone else and that did not help his confidence whatsoever.

Meanwhile you were back in the familiar room which was now full of people, strobing with colorful lights and boosting with music. The base was so strong that you felt the sound waves through the floor.

"LETS FUCKING DANCE!" Nella screeched into your ear, snatching your empty glass and placing it onto a table, before grabbing your wrist and pulling you after her right into the crowd of dancing people.

You felt like you were at the club, or a disco.

It was full of unfamiliar people that had only one thing in common with you: they were drunk to shit. At least you felt carefree and happy, even though it was drunk-happy. You and Nella jumped, danced, sang into each others faces and even had a mini dance battle. 10 songs later you were stumbling back to the bar, thirsty and exhausted.

"Can I have a-a," you furrowed your eyebrows, drunkly running a hand through your hair "Margarita?" You raised your eyebrows, saying the first thing that came to your mind.

A minute later you were washing down the alcohol in just a few gulps.

"SHIT YOU CAN DRINK!" You heard a voice yell somewhere from beside you as the bottom of your glass clacked against the counter. You turned around and saw Sharky, face instantly lighting up.

"Hhheeeyyy!" You smiled, tilting your head. Luckily Sharky could tell you were stoned out of your mind, so he didn't deem your unusually long "hey" as embarrassing and just chuckled.

"Wha-I didn't see you on the dance floor." You said, leaning forward in a clumsy motion.

"Uh, yeah," he raised an eyebrow, amused by your tone and enhanced drunk facial expressions.

"Why not?" You tilted your head again, maybe a little too much.

"I was-"

Sharky didn't even get to finish.

You hopped off the bar stool and yanked him after you, heading to the crowd of people. Despite feeling tired after the rave with Nella, you still wanted to go with him.

"Oh." He watched you struggle to walk in a straight line, entertained but also worried.

On the way there you bumped into Nella, Filly and Chunkz, who stopped you with a big "Hey!"

There was a slight pause as everyone focused on Sharky and you holding onto his hand.

"What are you guys up to?" Nella quizzed with a grin as she glanced at Sharky who had the most forced "I'm okay" smile known to humanity.

"Apparently he hasn't been on the dance floor yet!" You say it like it's the most outrageous fact they could've heard.

"Wow," Chunkz says nodding his head dramatically.

"I know!" You were too drunk to notice how playful that "wow" actually was, and took it in as his genuine surprise.

Sharky rolled his eyes to Chunkz's statement.

"You know, it's funny cause he's actually a dancer." He pointed at Sharky with a mysterious snicker.

"What!?" You exclaimed into Sharky's ear "You didn't tell me!"

"Yeah, I just...forgot? I’m not really-"

You widened your eyes "You need to teach me some moves!"

"Yep, he loves teaching!" Chunkz gave the situation a little nudge.

"For real?" Your mouth opened in excitement as Chunkz continued "Yeah! He teaches us all the time!"

Without anymore words you continued dragging Sharky towards the dance floor and as you did, he flipped off Chunkz in the process, knowing damn well that AJ and Niko were so going to make fun of him tomorrow.

"Teach me!" You yelled over the music, excited to see what type of moves you'd learn.

"Uh, well..." Sharky's eyes darted around the room "Maybe," he did the macarena and you instantly cracked up.

He watched in awe as you laughed away, trying to hide your face with your hand but failing drunkly.

"Cmon, be for real now!" You moved your hair behind your ears, ready to actually learn something.

He shrugged, then proceeded to move his hips while his hand did smooth motions around him, one in front and one behind, before then switching and repeating the same thing.

Your mouth dropped open as you watched.

"That was actually so good!" You yelled.

"Thank you!"

"Okay, okay, my turn." You got into position and after a small pause tried to copy him. The hands were fine, you actually managed to mimic him perfectly in that area, but the hip movements were absolutely hilarious. Sharky didn't want to laugh, but you were doing it so weirdly that he really struggled to keep it together.

"Whaaat?!" You whined, stopping.

"Nothing, nothing." He bit his lip and shook his head, but that wasn't enough to contain his laughter.

"Whaaat!?" You giggled, giving him a playful shove on the shoulder to which he again shook his head.

You roll your eyes, realizing that dance was evidently not your strongest talent.

You were about to say something to Sharky, but your mind quickly switched to the song that began playing in the background.

"Oh my god!" You shrieked "I love this song!"

You instantly recognized the familiar nostalgic tune: On the Floor - Jenifer Lopez.

And so did Sharky, this song reminded everyone of the good old days. In the rush of exhilaration you grabbed Sharky's hand and swerved past everyone in the crowd of people in efforts of getting closer to the DJ booth. While Pitbull rapped his verse, Sharky was trying his absolute best to hold onto you, afraid that he'd lose you in the wave.

"Sharky!" He heard someone call out. He turned around seeing AJ waving while beside him Niko did questionable dance moves.

All Sharky could do was mouth a "sorry" before disappearing behind two dancing girls.

"Hey, was he with y/n?" AJ faced Niko, who was now trying to do the robot.

"What?" He stopped.

"Was Sharky with y/n just now?"

"I don't know." Niko shrugged.

"Can't you see them over everyone with your long ass neck?" AJ snickered.

"Aye you be quiet," Niko whacked him on the back of the head before the two continued with what they were doing...or more like dancing.

While that happened, you and Sharky found a little space next to the stand between a group of people that were all preparing for the adrenaline-filled beat drop.

"You know we're running shit tonight on the floor! Brazil," you pointed to Sharky.

"Morocco!"

"London to Ibiza!"

"Straight to LA!"

"New York!"

"Vegas to Africa!"

"Daaance the night away live your life and stay young on the floooor," you and Sharky both hummed while doing slowmo movements, that actually looked really funny from the side, but really so did everyone.

You both leaned in, continuing to sing the lyrics as your eyes locked and breathing unified "Daaance the night away grab somebody, drink a little moreeee."

On the "grab somebody" Sharky scooped both of your hands into his and raised them up.

"Are you ready?" He yelled over the booming music. You giggle and nod your head.

With the beat drop came the electrifying surge of adrenaline and thrill. The lights flashed and everything looked like a stop motion movie. Without letting go of Sharky's hands you jumped up and down, eyes closed and soul open as you sang along "Laaaa la la la-la la la la la la la la la laaaa, tonight we gon' be it on the floor!"

As the two of you jumped, spun, sang and yelled, everything else around you seemed like a blur and it wasn't just because you were drunk. It was like the two of you were in your own little bubble, your own little world.

Lots of people were looming everywhere, but all Sharky could see was your bright smile, adorable squinting eyes and funny dance moves that he found very cute.

You were going all out, already sweating, panting and trying your best to breathe through your laughter.

In the moment everything felt so surreal and you didn't want to lose that feeling.

You didn't want to lose that serotonin that engulfed you with every melody.

You didn't want to lose this special happiness.

You didn't want to lose Sharky.

The music was pumping, and the rhythm was addictive. The two of you let yourselves go, lost in the magic of the moment. Your bodies moved in sync, eyes locked onto each others. You danced like you had all the time in the world, like nothing else mattered in the moment. Time stood still, and for a few fleeting seconds, you forgot about all your troubles and worries, lost in the moment, with each other, dancing like no one was watching.

As the song came to an end you felt like you were going to throw up, exhausted, from previous dancing with Nella, and drunk, but glowing out of pure joy.

"Are you okay?" Sharky gleamed at you.

You nodded "I think I need to like-"

"What!?" Sharky couldn't hear you from how loud it was. He placed his hands on your shoulders and leaned down, pulling you in closer so he could hear you speak.

"I need a breather!" You shout.

Sharky was quick to get you out of the packed crowd and back to the bar, where you ran into Harry Pinero and an unfamiliar girl.

"Hey, Sharky," Harry said in a playful voice, noticing you next to him.

"Hi." He replied unenthusiastically.

"Can I have a water please?" You leaned over the bar table, ignoring the conversation that was going on behind you.

"I see your nights going...well." Harry smirks, taking a sip of his drink.

"Yeah, it is actually." Sharky admits, glancing at you who was now finishing the glass of water like you haven't had any in days.

"Good for you." Harry nods, raising his glass and finishing it in one gulp before then turning around to his companion and heading to the hookah room. Sharky watched them, dreading tomorrows morning encounter with all his existence.

"You alright?" You snap him out of his thoughts.

He looks down at you and nods with a smile "Are you?"

"Yeah I feel a bit...sick."

"Oh shit, wanna go to that room we were in? I doubt anyone will be there."

"Yeah," you breathe.

Sharky puts his arm around your back, making sure you didn't trip over, as the pair of you made your way to the next door room.

You let out a sigh of relief as you felt the soft couch dent under you, resting your head on the back of it. Sharky glances at you, a little concerned by how unusually tired you look.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

You nod with your eyes closed "I just feel a little nauseous."

"That can't be good." Sharky thought to himself, realizing that it was best if you were to lay down or maybe even go to bed.

He's seen how much you had to drink and the more worrying thing was how much he hasn’t seen you drink.

"Hey, listen maybe it's best if you were to lay down, I can drive you home or you can have a rest in my room." He paused and hurried to add "Not in like that way you know just if you're feeling unwell- uh- like maybe if you feel sick- like the bathroom, you know-"

Even drunk you could tell how uneasy and flustered Sharky felt.

"I have a room here with Nella." You chuckle as you sit up and catch his gaze with your half open eyes.

"I can walk you there." He almost whispered as you moved your face closer to his, the distance between your lips gradually decreasing.

Sharky's eyes widen as realization slowly creeps in on what's about to happen. His breathe hitched as he felt your warm lips ghost over his, but before you could lean in and kiss him, he jolted back.

You felt your stomach knot and mouth go dry.

Why did he pull away? Did he not want to kiss you? Did you do something wrong? Did you go too far?

You felt your throat tighten and eyes begin to prickle with tears as you moved away from Sharky, trying your best to hold yourself together.

"I- Uh- Sorry I didn't meant to-" your voice was thick and raspy as your words came out choked and messy.

"What? No no no no no," Sharky placed his hand on your arm "No, y/n, that's not- Oh my god no!" He saw your eyes glisten and a thin line of tears form over them.

You sniff shaking your head "Sorry, I just thought-"

"No please don't cry," Sharky moves over, wrapping his arms around you. Despite the fact that he had just somewhat rejected you, you can't help but hug him in return, hiding your face in his chest whilst trying your best not to cry too loudly.

"y/n please don't be upset," Sharky says in a hushed tone as he rubs your back.

You sniff before looking up at him "Why don't you wanna kiss me?" By now your mascara had a mind of its own, running from the corners and smudging under your eyes.

"I do. Trust me I really do," he smiled softly "But you're drunk and you aren't feeling well. I just- " he sighs "It just wouldn't feel right considering the vulnerable state you're in."

"Oh." You snivel. Sharky let's out a small laugh and wipes your cheeks with the sleeve of his sweater.

"I feel so dumb." You groan, hanging your head down to hide away from him in embarrassment.

"Hey it's ok," you can hear the warm smile in Sharky's voice "Honestly it took all of my self control to do that."

You let out a small chuckle before looking back up at him.

That night Sharky walked you to your room and made sure you were alright with going to bed yourself.

You fell asleep with a grin on your face and with the feeling of excitement to wake up in the morning.

"Yep girl, that's it. Let it all out." Nella patted you on the back as you crouched over the toilet seat, throwing up everything your stomach had.

"Oh my god." You panted, looking up to take a whiff of air "Im never drinking again." You whined.

"Uhuh, like the last time you were never gonna drink again?"

"You know what I-" aaand you were back at it.

In the meantime everyone else you knew was having breakfast on the top floor of the hotel, enjoying the buffet and the open fresh air.

"So Sharky," AJ snickered "How'd yesterday go? You disappeared for quite some time."

"Really?" Kenny's eyebrows jumped up in surprise.

"Yeah, with we-all-know-who."

Sharky shook his head without any amusement, continuing to eat his breakfast.

"Oh cmon you have to tell us about it!" Chunkz threw his arms up.

"Nothing. Happened." Sharky stated.

"Ain't no way nothing happened." Harry joined in "I've seen you go into that couch-room."

"Oh, good to know someone actually used it." Kenny chuckled.

"Used?" Sharky raised a brow "I'm telling you, nothing happened. She felt sick so I," he shrugged "You know walked her to her room and then she went to bed." Sharky couldn't keep in his smile, remembering last night like it was something from a fairy tail, even that almost-kiss had his heart fluttering.

Chunkz caught onto that and gave a cheeky giggle "Aayyeee look at him smiling and everything." He pointed at his friend "Sharky likeesss her."

"Yeah so much that he apparently abandoned his friends on the dance floor." Niko furrowed his eyebrows and raised his hands up.

"Wha- I didn't abandon you. No need to be so dramatic."

Niko scoffed jokingly "Bros before girls!"

Everyone broke into a series of giggles and laughs.

"y/n is nice tho," Kenny said while chewing, evidently being the most innocent one out of everyone.

"She really is." Sharky agreed while everyone else continued to laugh, this time at Kenny's random statement.

"What?" He quizzed in confusion.

"So what you gonna go on a little date?" Niko asked.

As much as everyone was teasing Sharky about it, they were also invested in what was to come.

Was he going to ask you out?

Would you agree?

"Yeah I guess. I mean I do like her."

"Sick." Kenny commented "Look at me bringing people together."

"Yes, let's toast to that...With water because almost everyone is insanely hung over!" Harry raised his glass.

Unfortunately you didn't end up going to breakfast at all because you spent the entire morning throwing up.

As you rolled around in bed, holding onto your stomach, you and Nella heard a knock on the door.

"Ill check, you stay down." She says, getting up and heading to the hallway. Five seconds later you heard her call out your name, and without any thought you got up and lazily dragged your feet to the door.

"Who is-Oh my god hi." You almost fainted seeing Sharky there, considering your messed up state. He, on the other hand, looked amazing.

"Wha-You look insanely fresh for a person who's been partying all night." You speak your mind as you look him up and down.

"Thank you, perks of not drinking." He grins.

"Oh right, you don't drink." You nod, remembering yesterdays conversation "Well I did and now I look like shit." You scratch the back of your head.

"Nah, nah. You look..."

You raised your eyebrows, waiting for him to continue.

"Maybe just a little tired."

You chuckled rolling your eyes.

"Anyway I uh, didn't see you at breakfast."

"Yeah, sorry couldn't make it, I was throwing up all morning."

"Ooohhh...right okay makes sense." He nods. You can't help but grin at how awkward and shy he was acting, standing there in front of you, swaying from side to side whilst fiddling with the sleeves of his sweater.

"I uh wanted to ask, if you would want to go to the-I mean on a date? Maybe?"

"Are you kidding? Obviously."

"Obviously?" Sharky let's out a confused chuckle.

"Oh please, just because I'm sober now doesn't mean that I don't like you. I remember yesterday quite well."

"Ah," he nods "Okay that's good."

You grin "It is good. And I can't wait for the date."

"Text you?"

"Do you have my number?" You raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah," his tone was unsure.

"Wait how'd you-"

"Kenny."

You nodded "Alright. I'll be uh, waiting."

"Yep." Sharky looks around "Bye?"

You step forward, embracing him in a tight hug "See you."

[11x13kyle]

that one argument that nick and stav had on cum town as the boys

kyle: we're able to leave in peace. i go off to whatever i'm gonna do, cartman dies--

cartman: no???

kyle: kenny lives off his situationship's journalism money until she gets tired of that and that ends.

kenny (their guest that invited himself on this particular episode): oh i think she probably is already!

cartman: i'll live a long, fruitful life, raising children and grandchildren on a meadow with a farm, fresh berries--

kyle: it's so funny that you think that's how your life is gonna go.

cartman: it will, dude.

kyle: it's--you're NOT gonna get control of your weight, it's gonna end tragically.

cartman: you are SUCH a hater

kyle: i'm not a HATER, i care about you--

cartman: no, you don't, you just wanna--you say bad, mean things to people to make them feel bad!

kenny: it's not mean!

kyle: it's not MEAN dude.

kenny: it's maybe a little--

kyle: if i was sitting here--look, if i was sitting here smoking five and a half packs of cigarettes a day, my eyes are yellow, i'm having tumors removed from my mouth--

cartman: that was a random tumor that had nothing to do with my weight--

kyle: and--and i was like "i'll stop smoking when i'm 45!"

cartman: that's not even what i'm saying, man--

kyle: at WORST this has taken five years off my life, i'll live all the way to 65

cartman: whatever bro

kyle: i can just continue to smoke--

cartman: you're a hateful little bitch--

kyle: chainsmoke cigarettes--

cartman: it's gonna be--i am gonna be bouncing my fucking children on my knee, my grandchildren, on a meadow, feeding them fresh berries--

kyle: you'll be lucky if you still HAVE a fucking knee! by whenever the time you think this is gonna happen.

cartman: you REALLY think you're not a hater?

kyle: yeah, i dont--

cartman: you in your heart believe you're saying something true and good to your friend right now?

kyle: i think it's like--

kenny: yeah, i--

kyle: no, i mean, if you want--honestly? i do think like.....like, yes, it may be harsh, but i do think you need to have some kind of like fucking wake up call. like what changes have you made that are like permanent changes?

cartman: i'm not fucking--first of all, i'm not talking about this on the fucking podcast.

kyle: why not?

kenny: but you are--

cartman: huh?

kyle: why not?!

cartman: because it's not--i'm not trying to fucking talk about it on the podcast!

kyle: not talk about what, like a DIET or whatever? i mean...

cartman: yeah, that's--it isn't funny, and also it's like, you're not HELPFUL--

kyle: most of the PODCAST isn't funny!

kenny: yeah, you guys get a couple good things in there that--

cartman: whatever, we're done, the podcast is over at this point, i'm not trying to fucking have this--

kyle: THIS episode is...

cartman: yes, i'm fine with that too, i've had a fucking terrible 40 minutes--

kyle: i mean this--but like do you not like--in no way is it--

kenny : we don't HAVE to talk about--

kyle: SHUT UP. is--in NO way there's like--there's no way to express any kind of, like, concern?

cartman: saying i'm going to DIE is not the way you--you don't know how to talk to people, that is your CENTRAL problem--

kyle: no but i mean--NO, hold on--

cartman: and--and this is not the way to talk to someone--

kyle: hold on, i've known you for YEARS and like--this didn't start with like "ohhh, you're going to die!" like...i've like WATCHED you lose teeth, you know, be bedridden...

cartman: that has NOTHING TO DO with having a fucking--that has nothing to do with fucking being fat, dude, losing teeth, are you kidding me?! it's a completely different dental thing! you also literally don't know how to fucking talk to anybody, it is not helpful the way you speak to me in ANY--like, you're not...HELPFUL, you're not fucking supportive in any way--

kyle: well, what's helpful? what's this, what's this--

cartman: sometimes you're a mean piece of SHIT and telling me i'm gonna fucking die over and over again is exactly that!

kyle: then what's like--what IS supportive, then?

cartman: uh, just fucking--what we're doing now, having a schedule so i can fucking plan my life and go to the gym and fucking eat well, that's supportive! the podcast--

kyle: no but like what's--what is the correct way to like express concern? if it's a problem where it's like my TONE is wrong, i mean i, like, sure i can EASILY change that or address it.

cartman: yes, your tone is wrong ALL the TIME, that's your personality!

kenny: that's the thing, it's coming from a place of love, though, it's not like--

cartman: it doesn't MATTER if it's coming from a place of love--listen--

kenny: he's not trying to--

cartman: i don't want this on the podcast!

kenny: he's not trying to be a dick--

cartman: can we just stop fucking having this--

kyle: we can cut--we can cut this--

cartman: but it's like, it's not--

kenny: but i mean there's people that like also are like--that care about you that listen to the show, i don't know, it's like not--

cartman: the show will never help me lose weight! the show is a fucking JOB. the only thing the show will do is get people to mock my weight, it's not gonna be fucking helpful, it's FINE i don't give a fuck, but i AM fucking--i have made a concerted effort--the last year of my life i was getting my fucking shit together for real and then i hurt my fucking foot and the last year has been a fucking incredibly unstable year for me, i'm not even talking on the mic anymore but it's like--it's been a HORRIBLE fucking year i had a fucking--hurt my foot, i had a fucking fight with my mom, like all this shit has been HORRIBLE--

[zarirawrie]

My intro ! :3

HIIII obvi you've seen my sillay post, but obvs thats not how I thought I would make friends.. anyway heres an intro from your truly !! :3

My name : kenzaria ( ken-za-ri-uh)

nicknames : kenny, kenken, baba, ria, riri, zari, zariri, kera. ( or you can calll me.. mommy alpha, little omega, ekitten, daddy omega. /jjjjjj)

age : 13-15

prns : tbh idc what u call me, as long as its not like xie/xer.. idek how to pronounce that..

hobbies : volleyball, writing, watching tv, listening to music, texting my ekittens.. /hj

interest : kpop, anime, haikyuu, soobin, defo not cooking, writing stories, sometimes drawing, making characters, other things..

likes : sleeping, kpop, txt, tws, soobin, haikyuu, CSM I LOVE CSM PLS FOLLOW ME NOW IF U LIKE CSM, jjk ( dni jjk stans im scared of you guys) calling people baby, laughing, i love my humor if you have my humor we can be bffs forever, music i love music chat hmu, women. ( pretty self explanator)

dislikes : emo omegas, people who can't take a joke, kpop antis, football players (honestly just men in gen) boy group antis, meanies, soccor, mahito from jjk ( i hope his feet get cut off) stupid people.

reasons why you should bmf : im literally so funny... i have every app in the app store we can talk on.. ( snap, insta, tumblr, guilded, discord, imsg, whatsapp, roblox plz) i need someone to rant too im literally begging at this point. you can be my main alpha.. smirks. IM NOT A WEIRDO I REPREAT I AM NOT A WERIDO.

dni : sukana and mahito stans, ybc enjoyers, that bf webtoon enjoyers, gangmemebrs, haikyuu haters, people who ACTUALLY call suga : sugamama, hinata : innocent baby, tsukishima : salty beanpole, etc. MHA STANS. I DISLIKE YALL DNI!!!!! girlgroup stans.. i dont have the physical time for u fools.. WELL THATS IT!!!!!!!!

plz be my fwiend >_< we can be da best duo eva!!!!! xoxo

[cocogrrrl]

Hiya again! I was wondering if you could write a fic of a gn!s/o and Kenny (teenagers) at a public park, and then some people start insulting and possibly physically hurting the reader, then they look over, kennys gone, and mysterion is kicking the people's asses. I thought it was a cute concept :)

-📌🎀

help arrived

while on a morning walk with kenny, you accidentally find yourself alone and in imminent trouble. luckily for you, mysterion comes to save the day.

mysterion!kenny mccormick x gn!reader cws: descriptions of violence, slight predatory language used wc: 1191

“You think you can help me out this weekend? I really need help picking out a gift for Karen. I have a bunch of different options, but none that I think she’ll like.” Your boyfriend, Kenny, sighed.

Your hand was intertwined with his, and you squeezed his twice to comfort him. “Hmm, I’m not sure I exactly know what she’d like, but I’ll try.” You hummed.

“Thanks,” he smiled, giving you a swift kiss on the head as you two continued your regular stroll in the park—idly minding the sounds of children playing, leaves rattlings, and footsteps on the dirt path.

There were a group of people roughly around your age who you were trying to pass through. They were spread everywhere across the field. You weren’t quite sure what they were there for, but you didn’t pay mind to it. It wasn’t your business anyway.

What was your business was getting through the crowd of people, which proved difficult. Your hand tightly clasped Kenny’s so that you wouldn’t lose him out of your grasp and sight. You felt yourself bump against someone. Your arm’s side hit the person a lot stronger than you initially realized. Despite it, though, you quickly mumbled out a quick sorry before you continued.

“What was that for?” The gravelly and angered voice yelled out. You turn to see who it was—the person you crashed into just now. 

“It was an accident—I’m sorry-” You stammered out quickly, nervousness rising inside of you. The person honestly towered over your height, and it didn’t help that they seemed rather strong.

“Sorry? I’m sure you meant it! No person would just push someone like that by accident.” The guy argued, taking footsteps closer to you as a crowd slowly started to build around you. “I’m sure you wanted to hurt me.”

“I didn’t! I was just trying to make my way across here with my boyfriend and—”

“What boyfriend?” The person, and even the crowd watching you, started to laugh uproariously. You were confused, but as soon as you turned to see where Kenny was, he was gone.

You were sent in a panic now. A bunch of people seemed to be thinking you were delusional when really it wasn’t the case. So many eyes on you, and you couldn’t help yourself here—not unless you wanted things to worsen by a probable tenfold.

“You’re so funny. Let’s have more fun,” The guy laughed, grabbing you by the color as you suddenly felt your legs lift from the air.

Agh, why did you even decide to pass by this place? Sure, you didn’t know that there were people just waiting to pick on someone, but you could’ve just taken a better route. Where was Kenny as well? Maybe he went ahead and hadn’t realized that you were missing yet. I mean, you wouldn’t be shocked if you didn’t realize you lost Kenny’s hand, even if you clung onto it for dear life earlier.

Why are you, of all people, chosen to be picked on today? What events, circumstances, and god would let you be in this situation? Whatever the case was before all this, you knew only one thing now: you were about to be fucking grilled by these people, weren’t you? The grip on your collar only got tighter, even digging into your skin.

You couldn’t fight back, no way. You could only accept your fate in a situation like this. You sucked in a breath, preparing yourself to meet with the guy’s fist or something.

It never came though.

Instead, you felt your body drop to the grassy floor as you opened your eyes to see the man being pulled onto the ground, losing his grip on your completely.

As soon as your body hit the floor, you quickly shuffled back onto your feet as fast as you could. Your legs hurt because of the sudden impact, but it was nothing you couldn’t handle. What you saw was a lot more surprising, though.

Your boyfriend Kenny, er, the town-respected vigilante Mysterion, was on top of the person who picked on you earlier, beating him into the ground. He didn’t control the fight, though, seeing how the guy was fighting back triumphantly, blowing punches underneath him.

You stood there, taking a few steps back from the scene. The crowd around you now had eyes on Mysterion, all attention away from you.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing? Do you know how stupid you look in your costume?” The person choked out, kicking him from under and sending Mysterion grabbing his side as they now flipped him—taking the upper hand now. “You’re such a fucking weirdo.”

Kenny knew better than to reply, though. He stayed quiet as much as possible, despite how much the person tried provoking him to say some nasty things about them as well. He elbowed the person’s chin, sending them flying for a split second before they hit the ground.

Expectedly to you, though, Mysterion got the final punch, delivering a blow to the cheek. Steadying himself back on his feet, he let a huff out as he wiped off some blood spilling out of his mouth. “I’m sure it was an accident. I know a person as wonderful as YN would never dare hurt anyone.”

Right after that, he lit up a set of fireworks and threw it on the ground, swiftly sweeping you off your feet and carrying you away, bridal style, to an empty space. He laid you back onto the ground in the quiet area, looking at you worriedly as if you were the one who was hurt right now—not him.

“Are you okay?” He sighed, pulling down his cloak and mask.

“I should be asking you that,” You laughed, getting on your knees to meet eye-to-eye with him. “You look like hell.”

“Only for you.” Kenny smiled.

“Thanks, Ken.” You said, burying your face in the crook of your neck. The adrenaline of the situation started to wear off, and soon enough, you felt tears prick at the back of your eyes. ”I’m sorry I got lost back there.” 

“Hey, hey, hey,” he cooed, pulling your head back up to look at him. “It’s not your fault, yeah? What matters most right now is that we’re both alright.”

“Well, you aren’t!” You cried out, pointing to the bruises all over his face. “You just got beaten up.”

“YN, if you were the one to get jumped earlier, I’m sure you’d look a hundred times worse than I do right now. I would never forgive myself if that happened.” He pouted, cupping your face with both of his hands. “Just… I’m alright, and I’m sure these wounds will go away in no time.” He gave you a reassuring smile.

You exchanged a grin with him, bringing a hand to caress the one holding you right now. “Okay. Thank you, pretty.” You mumbled against his cheek before giving him a brief peck there.

His face flushed at the action, though you couldn’t see it since you had buried your face in the crook of his neck once more after. “Always, honey.”