#honestly tumblr should really fix this glitch it seems to have been going on for a while now

[lunaryuwu]

you're back!! i was wondering why you were sonic lol but i forgot to ask

It was an april fools thing in the sonic fandom that i joined a tad bit too late lol. I was going to change it back after april fools but then i forgot and just left it at that for a few days dhdvhdbsjabak but i’m back now :3

[carereg]

Hi! So I’ve got a problem.... in the past couple of months, I’ve been struggling with regressing, mostly due to the fact that I’ve been stopping myself, telling myself that I shouldn’t and being quite negative about it (as in “I don’t deserve to regress”, as stupid as it sounds). But in the past month, it seems like my brain is telling me to regress and I kinda can’t control it anymore. Like, I’ll “suddenly” regress, even in situations where I shouldn’t, like work for example. (1/?)

And even if I’ve managed to hide it quite well (I think), I haven’t really managed to make myself be big again. It’s as if there’s a mental block, keeping me little. And I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t make myself regress at times when it would actually be okay for me to be little (like when I’m alone in bed) and I can’t make myself “unregress” when I’m little and I’m not so convenient situations. Do you have any advice for what I should do? (2/?)

I’d like to avoid having problems because of this.... and I’d like to stop being so negative about my little side but I don’t know how, and it’s something that regularly comes back.... also, this has nothing to do with the rest of the ask, but is there any reason why I apparently didn’t follow you anymore? I just noticed it today but I don’t remember unfollowing you at any point. Has this happened to other people? (3/3)

~ ☔️ ~ ☔️ ~ ☔️ ~ ☔️ ~ ☔️ ~ ☔️ ~ ☔️ ~ ☔️ ~ ☔️ ~

First, I want to quickly address the following issue. I know for sure we didn’t block you, even temporarily. (I recognize your account, and I think we might actually be mutuals on my agere blog) That had to be a tumblr glitch. Sometimes I notice that it takes a few tries for tumblr to remember that I’m following someone. When I visit a blog, it initially comes up as if I’m not following, but if I leave and come back a few times, it corrects itself. It’s possible that that’s what happened to you, or that tumblr has a new glitch I haven’t seen, yet.

Moving on to the actual ask, I think that your mind may be forcing you into a state that it sees as comforting and safe because it’s under so much stress. Without using your coping skills, you may not be able to adapt to stress as well as you normally could, forcing your mind to try and take action for you. It also sounds like there might be other things going on that your mind wants to protect you from, like those thoughts of guilt or unworthiness telling you that you don’t “desserve” to regress.

While you deffinitely do desserve to regress, I want you to know that this is not a stupid issue, nor are you being stupid. It’s important because it’s affecting you, and you’re at a point where you‘re self aware enough to recognize these thoughts as negative and illogical. That’s a really good sign! You’ve also been able to ask for help, which isn’t always easy. You did a really good job, just getting this far, and I want you to remember that.

As for fixing this, there are a few ways I wanna come at this. They can be done in whichever order you feel will help you the most, or even at the same time.

I want you to seek out other coping skills. Regression is an amazing coping skill and stress reliever, but it isn’t the only one. If you can’t regress, one of the best things you can do is to find something that can (temporarily) replace it. Look at positive coping skills you used before you started regressing, or try a new one. Take things that you do that make you feel safe or help you relax and do those things more often. You may even be able to cope using a different regression space such as pet regression, or a similar coping skill like age or pet dreaming. None of this means you’re abandoning your regression, just that you need help now and regression isn’t able to help you right now.

Find ways to help you regress. There are a million and two posts on how to help someone regress, and I think I’m gonna link some in a reblog, for you after I post this. Personally, when I was dealing with feelings of pain or guilt surrounding my regression, what helped the most was to ease into it and remind myself that those feelings weren’t warranted. Age dreaming was a very useful tool, because it gave me more control over the situation and allowed me the presence of mind necessary to fight my negative thoughts in the moment. Agedre also got me used to being little, again, and helped remind me that being little isn’t a bad thing.

That leads me to my final tip: find the source of the negativity and adress it. Are the thoughts of not desserving to regress coming from low self esteem or self worth? You may want to address that with a therapist or find ways to raise your self esteem on your own. Are they coming from a misguided expectation that you need to have suffered xyz trauma in order to regress and that your reasons aren’t “good enough?” Regression is for everyone. It’s not gated by trauma or any other factors affecting why or how you regress. Trauma itself isn’t gated, either. If you did suffer a trauma, but worry that it wasn’t “enough,” I want you to know that that just isn’t the case. Everyone who has suffered a trauma has suffered, and there’s no use in trying to quantify or compare that suffering. Remind yourself of this, have someone else remind you, create mantras or affirmations, do whatever you need to do to be able to believe it.

Is the negativity not just about “desserving” to regress, but about regression or littleness, itself? Has the stigma of being “immature,” or the f3tisization of an adult being childish gotten in your head? (Even for people who participate in or support cg1 and similar k!nks, the idea that something you do nonsexually, and without ties to k!nk is somehow inherently s3xual or k!nky can be pretty damaging.) Remind yourself that there is nothing wrong with your regression. That this is a coping skill, a way to feel safe, to relax, or have fun, and that there’s nothing wrong with any of that. You aren’t shirking responsibilities, and in fact, regressing at appropriate times can help you function better in the rest of your life. Remind yourself that you define your regression, not @ntis or others who see all littleness through the lense of cg1. They cannot make your regression s3xual, because it’s your regression, not theirs. They cannot define it because you know it so much better than they do.

I hope this helps, and that things get better soon. Keep fighting, ok? And feel free to send more asks or to contact me at my mod blog, @mod-kay , or my personal blog @liltotlilone , whether it’s for more advice, or just to talk. Good luck.

-Mod Kay 💝

[poppyknitt]

Forgiveness- A JSE Egos Fanfic: Thanksgiving Special

Recap: Over the last few months, Anti has attacked a few times, but was subdued on his own birthday by Marvin, whose mind had been corrupted by his overuse of dark magic, which is kind of like black magic, but much, much worse, and much, much more controlling of the mind if used to a certain, varyinge extent. Chase, who is no longer stuck as a ghost due to Marvin’s recklessness prior to their “victory”, and now fully functional, seems to have managed to save his kids and ex-wife Stacy from her new boyfriend, who was seemingly very controlling and even a bit abusive of them, whilst still being a ghost. Jackieboyman proposed to his girlfriend of two years, Ava, and seems to be very near quitting the superhero gig, so as to not put his fiancé at risk anymore, but also, so he can be a good father, as she’s apparently pregnant with his son. After celebrating their anniversay on a beautiful cruise ship, Jackie managed to come back to shore within enough time to join the remaining egos, and Seán himself, for Jameson’s birthday! Henrik is still recovering from the wounds he recieved in the battle that took place on Anti’s birthday, but he is thankfully healed enough to be back on the job!

Previous Chapter

Next Chapter

Warning- Long chapter! I would put a keep reading thing, but I’m on mobile, and you can’t do that on Tumblr Mobile, sadly! (*cough* TUMBLR DEVS, FIX THIS, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! *cough*) Also, if you are triggered by any amount of cursing, or the mention of severe, temporarily disabling injuries, I suggest you skip to like, the last two paragraphs. Which may be hard, because apparently there’s almost 100 paragraphs in this fic.

[November 15th]

Marvin opened his eyes, and panicked, as he noticed that he wasn’t in his body anymore. He could see himself, but... it was like his body had gone into temporary stasis. He took a moment to himself, trying to recall the events that lead up to this... Ah, yes! That’s right...

He’d started playing around with the occasional black or dark magic spell about a year back, but had used them so little for the first few months that it barely affected his mental state. As time went on, however, he came to realize that soon enough, simply just using the same old magic spells on Anti as he’d always used wasn’t going to do jack shit to help defend his brothers. So, even though he didn’t want to break the promise he’d made to Jackie and Seán, he started full-on dabbling in dark and black magic, convincing himself it was the only way to keep them safe.

But then, in September... Jackie was brutally struck down by Anti, and Marvin had been lucky enough to pinpoint his location just in time to save his life, and trick Anti into thinking that he was dead. That moment... That was the moment it all took a turn for the worst. The next thing he’d known, his mind was entirely consumed by the darkness he’d slowly been inflicting on himself by using dark magic in the first place, and, by the time october came around, he’d been kicked out of his body, in the sense that he’d lost control of himself, and was being piloted by the aforementioned darkness. He’d been forced to watch in horror as his body tore his brothers down, one by one, until only Seán and Henrik remained untouched by his corruptive new abilities. Each time he attacked one of them, he’d been screaming for them, calling their names out desperately, trying to tell them he wasn’t in control. But... None of them even heard him in the first place... All they could hear in those moments was the evil momologues that his body was spewing.

He slowly started loosing himself in his recollecting trance, his mental state spiraling downwards as he slowly merged into self-deprecation and self-hate type thoughts; the kind he’d only ever read about before he started dabbling in the arts. It wasn’t until he heard a faint, staticy voice calling his name out that he snapped back to reality.

“Mavvy? Mavvy can hear?! Mavvy, say something!” Robbie’s voice called to him.

“Robbie?! Are you here with me?! How are you contacting me-?!” He exclaimed in confusion.

“It work! Mavvy! Calm! Can tell you have many question, but Mavvy not need fear; Will explain!” Robbie’s slightly raspy voice told him. It sounded like the zombie was... overjoyed to hear from him? But... Didn’t he remember the outburst..? Did... Did he not care?

“... Well..?” His voice shimmered hopefully, but it was muffled by the anticipation and fear that hung heavily on his soul.

“Henry left ghost communicator on table! Thought maybe I could contact Mavvy with gadget! Was worried would not work, but very glad it did!” Robbie exclaimed happily.

“... He left what now?”

“Ghost communicator! Jamie and me use ghost communicator for speak to Jackie and Chase when Mavvy was being mean!” He could almost hear the overjoyed grin Robbie must’ve had plastered on his face, “Mavvy come to park, yes? Want speak in person!”

“Uh... Listen, um, Robs... I’m... Sorta not in control of myself anymore, if that makes any sense..? I, uh, may or may not have been kicked out about a month ago... ‘ve no clue what happened between the fight with Anti and today, honestly... I... sorta blacked out. Jackie’s last words to me were pretty painful...”

“Oh! Understand! Is okay! Will just find you instead! Ghost communicator also locate ghost!” Robbie beamed.

“... That’s not a good idea, Robs... Look, just... Give me a few days. I’ll need time to do what I plan to do, but if it works out well, I... Things should be back to normal soon, okay..?” Marvin said softly, his heart heavy in his chest, as he knew it wasn’t true. His brothers... they... they’d never forgive him for what he did...

Yeah, that’s right... yǫu’ll͠ ǹever ҉be ͡fo̵r̛gi̵v͞eń,҉ ̷M̸a̡r̢v͢iņ. ̧Y͟o͘u’r͏e ͜all ̛al̡o͠n̵e͠.͜.͠. ̨I̢ń ͜f͟act̴, I͟ ̸bet҉ ͟th̢at͞ ̸t̢h͢i͢s̴ w͏h͏o̷l͢e̕ thi͝n̛g ̡is ̨all͞ à ͝ĺi̛e̷. R͡obb̧ie ͢d͠o͜e͞sn’͡t̶ w̸a̷nt͠ to t҉al̡ķ.͝ He̷ ̛w͢a̡n͢ts ̸t̶ó lu҉re͘ ̛you int̸o a̸ ̵t̛rap.͡.̨.̵ Y̛ou c̴a͏n̛’͞t t̨r͟ust t́hem̛ ̷a̴ny͟m̀o̡re..͝.̨

He clenched his teeth as the thought came to mind. He had no clue why these thoughts were even there, but they’d been plaguing him since he came to. He couldn’t pin the voice in it, either. The sound was far to glitched and distorted to have any meaningful, recognizable pitch. God, he hated not knowing what was going on.

“Okeh! Will wait! Is fine! Mavvy is okay, yes? Mavvy remembering PMA?” Robbie’s last question almost made Marvin choke in surprise. Okay, yeah, sure, Robbie was probably the most positive of their group, but..? He’d never outright stated such a thing before, so it did happen to take him by surprise.

“H-heh... U-uh... Y.. Yep! I’m... I’m doing fine, Robs... Talk to ya later, ‘kay?”

“M’keh! Hope Mavvy plan work!”

~~~~

“R҉ìs̴e ̵a͟n̨d ͟shi͝ne,̷ m͏y̡ friend.͜ ͢Y̷ou͞’̵v͞e ̧been ̷as͜lee̶p ҉for f̕ar̵ ͞toó ͘lo̵n̢g..͠..͞” A figure stood over the limp, frozen body that belonged to this world’s Anti, the only visible features on its face being a sadistic grin, and its eyes, which held a faint red and green glow. A faint green light began to radiate around Initiative, and he coughed faintly as he slowly got up, and tilted his head to glare at the newcomer.

“Giv̢e me҉ ͢o͠n̴e ̢goo͢d̢ ̶rea͢son ̡n̡o̕t̷ tò t̀ęa̶r̸ y͡o͝u͠r gu̡t̨ś ͡oưt͡ r͏ight̵ ḩe͏re ͜and͟ n̵ow̕, ͏jus̷t fo̢r͠ tr̶essp̨as̷s͡ing ̡i͜n͞ ̕m͜y҉ wo̡rld͠!”

~~~~

[November 22nd]

Marvin managed to return to his body, and gasped desperately for air as soon as he regained control, as though he had been holding his breath the entire time he’d been out of control. He looked around wildly, his emotions and anxieties returning all at once, as his ability to feel, which had been lessened without the help of his body’s input, suddenly rammed back to his mind’s registry all at once. His eyes were wide, as he slowly got a grip of the surrounding world. He... Was this his pocket dimension?! God, he hoped so. Otherwise, he must’ve chosen a really stupid place to pass out for about a month in. Just as he started calming down, he sensed the atmosphere in the mostly pale-gold dimension change to something more sinister, and something inside of him screamed for him to run.

A shrill bout of distorted, maniacal laughter errupted from behind him, accompanied by fast footsteps, which were evidently getting closer, and he took that as his cue to get the hell out of there. As he ran, he noticed a rift in the dimension in the distance, and bolted straight for it, as a knife flew past him, inches away from skimming his flesh. He shot some offensive spells towards the demon he knew was following him, though, he didn’t really pay any attention to what the spells were. He took note that the rift was very clearly shrinking in size, albeit at a slow pace, and sped up a bit.

No͟w’̢s̡ y͟ou̷r ̸chan̕ce,͞ Ma͡rv̡in! Use̢ ̀ơn̢e̕ ̵of͠ the ͘i͠n̸p̀ri̵sonm̧e͞nt ̛spells ̸o͜n͡ ͞him ҉w̨hi̛l̷e͘ ͞he’s d̡o̕wń.҉ ͞Yo҉u wo͏n’̶t ̴ge̷t ́aņo̶the̡r ̢c͟ha̸n̶ce̴ to͢ ͠kȩep̛ h́im ̸con̢t͘ain͢e̛d!

There it was again! Couldn’t that damned voice’s owner just leave him alone?! He wasn’t stupid, he knew they were trying to sabotage him!

No͘w, ̀nơw,̨ Ma̧r̴vi̷n.͏.̸. Th͟e͟r͜e’̵s͘ ņo n͜e҉ed ̶to͠ ̶b̕è so̴ ŗųd̀e. I͞’͝m ̴on͢ĺy ̸try͡ìng͝ ͝to̶ help.

... Shit, they can read his thoughts? Agh, nevermind that! He knew he had to get somewhere less open, and that’s all that mattered!

He got to the rift, and without even so much as a thought about what he was doing, he jumped through, just as it sealed itself. He realized he’d closed his eyes as he went through, and opened them after a few moments of hesitation. When he did, however, he regretted it, because he found that he was in some sort of interdimensional void, falling head-first towards an unseen point, as random objects and such seemed to float around him. He swiftly went over all the spells he knew, searching desperately for one that would bring him home. When he got to the one he’d usually used to travel between his pocket dimension and the real world, he took a deep breath, and cast it so that he would fall straight into the portal.

He set the coordinates to a secluded area in the woodlands of one of the parks he sometimes visited when clearing his head, and grinned to himself when he saw the portal open up. Within no time, he shot through it, and realized he had accidentally set it to drop him directly onto the ground.

He yelped in pain when he slammed into the earth nearly headfirst with a sickening thud, his hearing briefly getting taken over by a shrill ringing sound. His head was spinning painfully, and he figured he’d probably need to get medical attention soon, since he at least had a concussion. He shakily stood up after a few moments of battling his instincts, which screamed for him to stay where he was, as his vision swirled and spun, while he staggered to keep himself standing. He knew it was a long shot now that he was back in his body, but he figured if he tried to contact Robbie through the locator again, he could possibly direct the zombie to his approximate location. He stumbled over to a tree, clutching his chest with one hand, and grabbing onto the tree for support with the other, or, at least, he tried to. He cursed under his breath as pain shot through his arm, and he figured he must’ve landed on it wrong, so, instead of agitating it further, he just leaned against the tree.

“R.. Robbie... C-Can you hear me..?” He wheezed, despite the pain that seared through his chest as he spoke. His vision was blurring again, so, he turned a little, and slid to the ground, sitting with his back propped up against the tree.

A few minutes passed, and he started loosing hope, until finally, he heard, “Mavvy! Did plan work?”

“Y-.. Yeah.. I think I’m... Injured badly, though.” He said, a few weakened coughs interrupting his speech.

“Injury?! Where Mavvy?! Will bring Henry, no worry!” Robbie was clearly very worried.

“Wh- No-! No. No Henrik. Jus- Just come alone, okay? Get- Get JJ to send an ambulance to the park, alright?”

“Why? Henry still mad?”

“Mos.. Most likely, y..yeah.” God, it hurt to admit that.

“Okeh then! Will tell Jamie, then come find Mavvy!”

“Thank you for understanding, Robs.”

“Is not hard!”

After that, everything sort of blurred together, and everything seemed to slow down, as his ears began ringing again. He knew he was close to passing out, but if he had any control over it, he wasn’t going to pass out until he knew he was safe.

S̀e̛e̴ w̸h̴a̸t̕ h͢àp͜p̀e̡ns w̛h͠en̕ ́you̷ ḑon’͝t̸ li͏s͡ten͡? ̧Th͡i͟s̨ ̴who͟l̸e̡ ͏s͝itu͞a̸ti͏o̷ǹ ͜co͟ul҉d h́av̴e b͡e̛e̢n ͢a̕voiḑed ̸i̸f y̛o͞u͟ h͝ad͝ ju͟s͠t҉ list҉ene̴d͢ ̷to̶ ͝me when̕ ͢I̶ ̵t͝o̢ld ̧y͝o̸u ̵t̢o ͘ųśe̴ ̷the͡ i̧np͡ris̵o͠nm͠e̷n̡t̡ spells.̧

He barely even registered the thought in his broken state, as his mind spun wildly, to the point that he couldn’t even tell whether he was thinking or not.

Just as he thought Robbie was never going to come to his aid, he heard the zombie yelling his name. In no time, he was by his side, and with JJ’s help, he pulled Marvin to his feet, and the two of them carried him for a bit. He could hear sirens at some point, and as his vision, which still spun, slowly started to fade, he was placed on a stretcher. The ringing in his ears was so loud by now that the voices of the EMTs and his youngest brothers were muffled beyond recognition.

After that, everything went black, and he woke up surrounded by darkness.

“O͘h de͝a͢r...̷ ͏loo҉ks̕ lik͠e̡ ̀y͡ơu̴r ̵m̴ista̡k̵e̶s҉ ̧en͝ded up ̴p͞utt̴ing͟ y҉ou ͜i͜n͞ a͏ ba͟d ̕s҉i̶t̛uat͢i͏o̧n̸ ̕y͏e҉t a͏gain... I̛t҉’s͟ ͠à ͜shame͡,̴ r̡ea͠l͟l̢y.̧ ̶To ͡t͝h̢ink ̢t̶his ̨co̷u̢ld͢’ve ̶a̛ll͜ ̶b҉èe͘n avoidèd̵ ̡if͝ ̶yo͝u̵’͜d́ ͏júst ļist͘e͢nèd͢ t͡ò ̵m͟e.͘” The voice was all around him now. He looked around, and found a large “screen” was behind him. On it, he could see a human’s face, however, their eyes were impossible to make out. From what he could see, however, it was a face much like his, and by effect, the rest of the egos’.

“What the hell do you want from me? Who are you?” He snapped, glaring boldly at the screen, his eyes seeming to glow dimly in the darkness with agitation.

“A͜h,̛ ̵ah͠,̶ ah, ̧M̧ar̛vi͟n.̡ ̡Ḑo͡n’͠t ̷you ͠thi͟nk ̀y̶o̧u’r͜e̶ ͘ge̡t͠ti͘ng ̶a̕ b͏it ̨too̴ ̴f̕iesty͝? ̕Y̕ou͡ s҉h͡ou͘ld n͘èver ̸q̀uestiòn͘ t̀ho̸s̶e ̨who̴ ̀aŕe onlý ̧tr̸yi͢n̵g ͠t͡o͡ ̷hèl҉p. I͘ thou͡g̛h̀t͏ ͝you’̕d̡ ͘kn̢o̕w tha̴t̵ by͏ ͘n͟o̕w͠.͝”

Ouch.

“Just answer the damn questions!” He spat, having to restrain himself from breaking the screen in front of him. They seemed to consider it, however, a distant, muffled voice calling his name interrupted.

“O͡h͝,̕ d͡o ̕ỳou ̴h҉ea̵r ͏t͟haţ? I ̧t͞h̡ink̸ you̧r̢ f͏rien҉dś are͡ ̡ge̛ţt͝i͞n̢g ̷des͝per̨a̴t̛e͝ to͟ se̸e y͝oư o͡kay̕.҉.͜.͝ I͟ h̢àd b̛e̸s̛t b̕e͟ ́l̕ea͏ving,҉ t͘he҉n͘.̧”

“Hey! Wait, no! I’m not done with y-!” He began to protest, but the screen shut off before he could finish, leaving him in total darkness, and still pretty freakin’ pissed.

~~~~

Henrik watched skeptically from the doorway as Robbie repeatedly called out to Marvin, who was unconscious, and in a hopsital bed. The magician had apparently provided no explanation for his substantial amount of injuries, but if he had to take a guess, it was probably a result of him failing to properly place one of his interdimensional portals so that he didn’t slam into the ground at a ridiculously high speed. Last time it’d happened, though, he’d slammed into the roof of the Egos’ house from about three feet up. Given the amount of bone fractures in comparison to scrapes, it’s probably safe to say that he learned something from that little incident, though.

A few minutes went by, and Marvin finally stirred. Henrik tensed, preparing to see the corrupt, violent magician he’d seen only a month ago, but shockingly, his eyes held a much softer, more human look than they had before. One thing was certain, though- Marvin wasn’t at his full strength, even without his injuries. In the back of his head, he started to wonder if perhaps, Marvin had actually managed to undo the damage he’d done to his sanity.

“Mavvy!” Robbie cheered happily, instantly jumping to gently hug his brother.

The magician hesitantly returned the gesture with the one arm that was actually functional, trembling a small bit as he did so, “Wh...? Oh, hey Robs... Where’s JJ..?”

“Jamie outside hospital! Will go get him! Henry keep Mavvy company, yes?” Robbie looked at him when he mentioned his name. Henrik blinked uncertainly for a second, and rolled his eyes.

“... Sure, why not.” He said, taking note that Marvin looked hurt by the harsh tone in his voice. Robbie grinned, let go of Marvin, and darted out of the room.

Marvin looked elsewhere as soon as Robbie was gone, nervously holding his broken arm with his functional one. Henrik sighed, and walked over to the bedside, staring disapprovingly at the idiot he’d thought had left for good.

“You better have a damn good explanation for the panic you caused, Magician.” His voice dripped with annoyance and a slight drop of hatred; He clearly still hadn’t forgiven him, and had no reason to hide it.

“... I.. Not... Not really... After Jackie and Seán left me alone in Anti’s void, I... I sorta went to my pocket dimension, and my mind just... blacked out for almost a month... After that, I woke up, regained control of myself, and.. well... Found out the hard way that someone freed Anti, and showed him how to access my pocket dimension.”

“That does not explain the broken bones, you dummkopf!”

“... I... may or may not have... jumped through a rift without thinking..?” He laughed nervously.

Henrik facepalmed, pinching the bridge of his nose, and shook his head, “Why am I not surprised?”

“...” A few minutes of awkward silence passed.

“Mavvy! Mavvy still awake?” Robbie practically bounced into the room, breaking the awkward silence. Marvin waved shyly, clearly relieved to see them back.

“Ah! So it is true! You’re in stable condition again. Thank heavens.” Jameson signed, smiling happily.

Marvin appearred to attempt a nod, but stopped, and responded instead, “... ‘S good to see you, too, Jamie.”

“Is everything alright, Marvin?”

“... Y-Yeah. Just... thinking. That’s all..” Henrik could tell he wasn’t telling the entire truth, but he didn’t say anything. He just narrowed his eyes suspiciously at him, since this was a bad time to get worked up over this type of thing, and stress out Marvin further.

~~~~

Ļo̢o͟k at y̢oú.͏.͝.̕ ̸The̢y̸ ͜hav̨e ͞y̵o̡u r͝i̢gh͠t̵ ͢wh͟er͠e ҉t͟h́ey̴ ͟w̨a̢n͡t͏ yo̕ư.͞.̨. ͠We̶akeņe̵d̴, ͠a͜nd ͠eńti̴r҉e͡ly̶ a҉t͡ ̛t̨hei͏r̨ m͞e͢r͝cỳ.̶.. ̧T͠h͏ey̴ c͞oùld̸ wa̢l͏k r̡igh̕t ͟ųp̨ ̢ţo͏ ̷yo̶ú ̵and ̕s̀nap̧ ͞you̸r̀ ͢néck at an͟y̷ mo̧me̸n̷t̢.̀ ͞N͡o̡t̛h̕i̕ng’҉s st͠op͞pi̢ng͜ ҉them̛ fr̢om dòi̡ng̷ it̛.

He internally cringed, knowing full well that it was true. If they wanted to, they could easily kill him right here and now. They could go to Seán or Jackie and get them to help hide the evidence. And the worst part about that was that regardless of who they asked, the answer would, without a doubt, be yes. They all hated him now. And he couldn’t blame anyone but himself for it, either. Henrik narrowed his eyes at him, and he knew he could tell there was something off with him. He felt his heart sinking hopelessly for what seemed like ages, until Henrik finally turned tail and left the room. Robbie came back to the chair by the bedside, and JJ joined him, sitting in the chair next to Robbie’s.

He silently took in a deep breath, trying to prepare himself to say what they were all probably thinking, “... Well, now’s your chance.”

“What?”

“There’s no one else here to see or stop you. You want revenge, right?” He refused to look anywhere but down. Robbie was speechless, staring at him with a look that was some cross between upset, concerned, and confused.

Jameson’s face was filled with worry as he frantically signed, “Marvin, what ever made you think such a thing?!”

“Oh, come on, JJ! I hurt you guys! I.. I accidentally kicked Chase out of his body! I... betrayed you. All of you... And... The worst part is? I didn’t even regret it... Actually, a part of me... enjoyed it..” He trailed off, as tears began threatening to spill from his tear ducts.

“Marvin, listen to yourself! You clearly regret it now! That’s saying something. Besides, I’ve already forgiven you. I know you did not do what you did out of malice; you thought you were doing what was right.”

“Yeah! Forgave Mavvy when he try to heal Henry.” Robbie commented, grinning childishly again, though, there was a more serious, determined glint in his eyes this time.

“... You... wh-why...? I’m... I turned myself into a monster..! Why... How can you forgive me so easily..?” He choked out, as the first tear finally managed to fall.

“Because you’re our brother... And, well, we weren’t mad in the first place..” JJ smiled sympathetically.

Marvin held back a grunt of slightly pained surprise as Robbie practically glomped him, and soon, JJ joined the hug, too. He let out a shaky laugh, which easily could’ve been a sob, as the rest of the tears that were built up began to fall silently.

~~~~

Henrik sat outside the hospital room, his head in his hands, as he listened to the conversation going on in there. God, how could he have been such a dick to Marvin?! It was obvious that he’d gone almost completely back to normal since he last saw him! His mental condition had obviously not fared well after the events that transpired the last time they saw one another, and he just had to go and shove his pain down his throat, didn’t he? Probably didn’t help that he was completely helpless in the condition that he was in. Oh, how he wished he could take it all back, go in there, and hug Marvin until he stopped crying...

——————————————————

Next chapter

Oops, ran out of room! Sorry for the long chapter! I had to try and stretch the writing of this one out as long as I could, so I would end up finishing on Thanksgiving. Of course, I sorta forgot Thanksgiving was next thursday, not tomorrow... Oops..? Anyways, I didn’t get to actually finish this in the way I wanted to. Tumblr’s being picky about the amount of paragraphs, so I kinda had to remove a few things. But god damn, this fic was a total emotional ride to write! Between working Marvin into a more 3-Dimensional, lovable character with a lot of sadness in his poor ol’ heart, and writing the last two scenes, my heart died a million deaths for this one. Thankfully, though, I seem to be unable to cry when I’m not alone, so no tears were shed over the character development!

@antis-loyal-puppet , @chaoticcrimsonrose , @tiny-septic-puppet , @septic-dr-schneep

[thesoundofnat]

Three Times Peter Helped Tony

Tony, Peter

Summary: The title says it all. Ranges from bigger to smaller ways Peter helps.

A/N: I honestly wouldn’t consider this my best work, but I still kinda like it, so I’m deciding to post it anyway lmao. Hope you like it!

Also if this looks weird on your dash it’s because tumblr hates me is glitching.

[Read it on AO3]

Words: 2 463

1.

Tony was sad. He hadn’t told Peter that, of course, but Peter wasn’t stupid and knew what those brief etched on smiles and hollow eyes meant. Tony wasn’t okay. Probably hadn’t been for a while now, but this seemed more current. The wound seemed more fresh.

He knew it had something to do with the airport fight and everything that had come after that. He had seen Tony try so hard to fix everything while simultaneously making sure Peter wasn’t taking on too many battles he couldn’t handle. It stung a little to know he was a part of Tony’s stress, but if there was one thing he’d learnt about the man was that he needed the distractions more than he needed air in his lungs, lest he wanted the pain to swallow him whole.

Peter had been happy to be a distraction, at first. It was no secret that he enjoyed the older man’s company, and god knew he had a lot to learn from him. But his finals crept closer, and smaller bad guys robbing stores never stopped, and he had to handle his crush moving away before he could even properly have his chance with her, and things became slightly too much for his sixteen year old self to handle. So he had to make a choice. Avengers stuff or life stuff. He knew what Mr Stark wanted him to pick.

Now that they were reunited after several weeks of no contact - not even from Peter’s side - he could see those bags under his eyes and the lines on his face more clearly. Tony wasn’t young anymore, and all the pressure he’d been put on was getting to him. Maybe Peter had just caught him at the wrong time, but it was more obvious than ever.

“What?”

Tony was narrowing his eyes at him, and Peter realized that he’d been staring slightly too intently at him from across the table.

Peter shook his head. “Nothing! I was just wondering if maybe I should start drinking coffee.”

Tony hummed, hands gripping his cup just like Peter was gripping his own cup of tea. “Nah. Too young. I’d say wait until college. You’ll need it more then.”

“I reckon you know best.”

Tony’s lips quirked upward. “Maybe not always, but in this case I’m pretty sure I do.”

It was a strangely… normal conversation. Each time they saw each other it was always because Peter was panicking over something or Tony needed to show him new tech. That he’d been invited over for tea had been a greater shock than Tony probably realized.

“How’s school? You acing your classes?”

“Of course.”

“Social life?”

“Other than the occasional meeting with academic decathlon team I mostly just see Ned.”

“Good. About the team, I mean. It’s good that you’re keeping it up.” Tony hesitated briefly before saying, “And how’s your aunt handling this whole - thing.”

Peter squirmed in his seat. “She was very angry with me at first. And with you.”

“I figured. Did my talk with her help at all?”

“Oh, definitely. It’s taken her a while, but she’s more calm about it now as long as I tell her where I go each time.” Peter barked out a laugh. “It’s kind of annoying.”

Tony grinned. “That’s guardians to you. You’re lucky, you know.”

“I know.”

They sipped on their drinks in silence for a moment. A ray of sun had found its way between the buildings outside and illuminated the kitchen table, and Peter found himself watching it just to keep himself from watching Tony. He knew he wouldn’t appreciate being observed.

“How are you?” Peter blurted out before he could stop himself. “And Ms Potts and Mr Rhodes?”

Tony seemed a bit amused. “We’re all good, kid. Rhodey can almost walk entirely on his own now.”

Peter nodded. “So you’re all… fine?”

Tony blinked. “Relatively. Should we not be?”

“Yes! I mean, I hope you are?”

“This-” Tony shook his head. “I don’t say this often, but I’m confused.”

“Oh, I didn’t mean to- I mean-”

“Kid. Just say whatever you want to say. I promise I won’t get mad or whatever.”

Peter exhaled slowly, biding his time. “It’s just… you look a little sad, s’all. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

Tony’s eyebrows met his hairline. “Oh. Well, uh-” He scratched the back of his head. “I guess lying and saying I’m fine will get me nowhere.”

“You don’t have to say anything, Mr Stark. I just wanted to check.”

“No, no, it’s- it’s fine, I-” Tony shook his head. “Maybe I need it.”

Peter never would’ve thought they’d be in this position, where Tony Stark of all people attempted to put his emotions into words in order to share them with him. It was usually the other way around.

“The thing is,” Tony started, pushing his cup from hand to hand on the table. “I care more than people probably think, and sometimes it gets hard to deal with everything. Especially when people so very obviously didn’t care back. At least not to the same extent.”

That was probably the most Tony would be willing to tell him, but Peter appreciated it anyway. “Do you wanna know what I think?”

“I’m sure you’ll tell me.”

“None of them deserved you.”

Tony didn’t reply, but Peter could see a slight shift in his posture. A brightness to his eyes.

Peter made it his goal to always make sure Mr Stark remembered how important he actually was after that.

2.

Peter wasn’t sure how or even why, but when he opened his eyes he found himself in Mr Stark’s living room, and the light was way too natural for it to still be dark outside.

“What happened?” he asked FRIDAY automatically, but got an entirely different voice in return.

“You passed out. As in like, fell asleep. You weren’t knocked out or anything.”

Peter sat up a bit in order to look at Tony who was sitting in the armchair across the room from him, his attention captured by the pad in his lap. “Have you- have you just been sitting there all night?”

“Of course not. I went to my lab. Had a few hours of sleep. Went back to the lab. You dozed for over ten hours. Seriously, Parker, when was the last time you slept through the night?”

“Too long ago,” Peter muttered. “Does Aunt May-”

“All informed.”

“Oh. Good. Thank you.”

Tony snorted and finally looked up at him. “No problem. I was mostly covering my own ass.”

Peter grinned. “Right, because you don’t care about either me or her at all.”

“All right, don’t get cocky. Geez, you’ve been hanging around me for too long.” He placed the pad on the coffee table. “If you want breakfast you know where everything is.”

Peter nodded and sat up properly. He felt more awake than he had in weeks, miraculously. “How’d you sleep? Those hours you did sleep, I mean.”

Tony hummed. “I slept all right. It could’ve been better.” That Tony was willingly admitting that was a huge step. “But it was enough to function today. I’ve got so many meetings this afternoon that I’m sorta considering going into hiding.” He waved his hand around. “Never become an adult, you hear me.”

“I’m afraid it’s a little too late for that,” Peter said, the idea that he would have to apply for colleges in less than a year ever so present in the back of his mind. “You should eat too. And probably get some more coffee.”

“You sound like Pepper.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“Mmm not really.”

“Then I’ll take the compliment.”

Tony laughed. “Definitely getting cocky. I can’t say I hate it, but you better be careful.”

Peter had to admit that the months he’d spent around the older man had made him much more comfortable around him and his closest friends, and sometimes he had to remind himself that snark could seem disrespectful. Fortunately Tony was fluent in snark and didn’t seem to mind.

Peter took a quick trip to the bathroom and tried in vain to get his hair to cooperate, and then met Tony in the kitchen where a glass of orange juice was waiting for him on the table. He downed it in seconds, only just then realizing how dry his throat had been. Tony watched him over his coffee in amusement.

“I have to make a call,” he said, already halfway out of the room with his cup in hand. “Make yourself at home and all that jazz.”

Peter didn’t need to be told twice.

***

“God, if a stupid phone call takes this long I cannot imagine how long the actual meetings will last-” Tony stopped in his tracks, his cup empty and his hair in disarray. “What’s this?”

Peter looked up from where he’d been scrolling on his phone. “Breakfast.”

“For me?”

“Of course.” He motioned to the toast across from him on the table. “It’s probably a little cold now, but-”

“No, no, I- that doesn’t matter, it’s-” Tony cut himself off with a shake of his head. “The only people who’ve ever made me breakfast are Pepper and Rhodey.”

Peter’s eyes widened. “Oh my god, sorry, was it insensitive? You don’t have to eat it.”

Tony grinned then. Hugely and genuinely. “Not insensitive at all.” He wouldn’t look directly on Peter, but Peter knew him well enough at this point to know it wasn’t a bad thing. “Thanks, kid,” he said as he sat. “I have to leave in like ten minutes, so I was worried I wouldn’t even have time to eat. God knows I would forget all about food once in those meetings, so this-” He grabbed his toast. “-is gold.”

Peter beamed all the way home.

3.

How Peter ended up at a movie night at Tony’s with Pepper, Rhodey and Happy was beyond him, but he was happily (and slightly awkwardly) sitting between Tony and the armrest while they tried to decide on a movie. Pepper, who was on Tony’s other side, was pointing at one of the movies on the screen, but Tony kept scrolling.

“Already seen it,” he said, glancing at her. “But you can totally have more than one choice.”

“If we’re gonna find a movie that none of us have seen it will be a miracle,” she replied matter-of-factly. “How about that one?”

“Oohh, I’ve been meaning to see it for ages,” Rhodey said from the other couch.

Happy shook his head beside him. “Not that one.”

“Why not?”

“Looks bad.”

“I agree,” Tony said and kept scrolling.

“You know what, give me the remote.” Rhodey held out his hand, but Tony barely acknowledged him.

“My house, my rules.”

“Pepper, get him to give me the remote.”

“Don’t get me involved in this.”

“You wanted to watch the movie too.”

“We can negotiate like adults.”

“That one!” Happy piped up, pointing. “I vote that one.”

Tony hummed. “It looks all right, actually.”

“Oh, you’re kidding!” Rhodey was more passionate over this than Peter would’ve expected, but he recognized the thrill that came with going against your best friend over small things. “Peter, get him to give me the remote.”

Peter really hadn’t been expecting to get dragged into this. “What, me?”

“Yes! He listens to you.”

“No, he doesn’t,” Peter blurted out, and Tony snorted.

“Cut yourself some slack, kid,” Rhodey said, voice softer.

“Actually,” Tony said, turning to Peter with a grin so big it almost scared him. “It’s a tie between two movies, but we’re an odd number. Peter’s vote can decide.”

“Do you think I’m suicidal?” Peter asked with a slight panic.

Happy, of all people, burst into laughter. “Oh, okay, you’re funny, I’ll give you that.”

Tony poked his chest. “Just choose.”

“And if I don’t want to watch either of them?”

“Then we’ll never get around to watch a thing.”

Peter had honestly not been paying much attention to the options, since he was fine with whatever. “Could- could you let me read the descriptions of them both?”

They sat in silence as Peter read. They both sounded mediocre, and Peter realized he’d already seen parts of one of them with Ned. They’d only gotten half an hour in before they’d had to turn it off. Which meant-

“I think the one Mr Stark likes sounds good,” he said, and Happy surprised him once again by cheering.

Tony clapped his hands. “That’s my boy. The night is saved.”

Those words were worth the mock glare Rhodey sent his way.

And one time Tony asked him to.

Peter had been in Tony’s lab before, but he’d never been allowed to touch anything, and today was no exception. He hovered behind Tony and tried to peek at what he was doing, which he knew was probably bothering the older man, but so far he hadn’t said anything. That was one of the things that had changed as they spent more time together. Tony got more patient with him and his curiosity.

“You think you can hand me that?” Tony suddenly asked, pointing toward the end of the table.

Peter was quick to oblige. “Of course, here you go.”

“Thank you.” He peeked up briefly to smile at him, if a twitch of his lips counted as a smile. “Actually, do you think you could hold this while I tweak it?” He handed Peter a part of the Iron suit and asked him to hold it in place against the table.

“Make sure to not move it,” he said before diving in, and Peter felt like he was dreaming. He was actually here, in Tony Stark’s lab, helping Tony Stark build one of his genius creations. Ned would freak.

To be entirely honest Peter was freaking out a little himself.

“You’re doing good,” Tony said, and Peter had to hold back a laugh lest he wanted to jostle the part.

“I’m only holding it.”

“Still.” His fingers stilled, and he took a step back to observe it. “I think that’ll do. Thanks, kid.”

Peter was eager to keep helping, but he wasn’t about to test his luck. “Is it okay if I sit in here and work on homework?”

“Sure thing.”

Life felt right in there, with Tony working away and Peter sitting on the couch taking care of his own responsibilities. Occasionally he would look up and observe his mentor, and he could occasionally feel Tony looking his way, but they didn’t talk. It was nice.

Tony still seemed sad, but he seemed to be handling it, and Peter was still happy to be one of his distractions, mostly because he was now certain Tony saw him as more than just that.

[artcanary]

1-50

oh my god dude 

im gonna put this under a cut bc this is a lot. this is a ride, have fun i guess

1. Your first OC ever?god. its got to be Super Kitty. when i was like … an incredibly small child I used to draw comic strips about this feline caped crusader, who was friends with everyone in the city, and the comics always involved him stopping an evil banana man from stealing money from the local bank. He was paid with donuts for his service to the city. i still remember how to draw him. 

2. Do you have a personal favourite among your OCs?i’d get arrested if I didn’t answer this with Bronze, probably… but really, they’re very important to me

3. Have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else?man, i cant remember! i really dont think i have… P:

4. A character you rarely talk about?there’s loads of characters ive never even posted a single picture of on tumblr, i wouldnt even know where to start asdf

5. If you could make only one of your OCs popular/known, who would it be? bronze is the easy answer, but… i guess that could also go to Servant or Westrin. Servant has a comic project in the works that basically stars him, sort of a series of one-shots about the things he’s experienced, i feel like that would be a good thing to take off and run with. Westrin’s just fun as hell, i love the guy.

6. Two OCs of yours that look alike despite not being related?real talk now… there’s at least five different characters that i refer to as a whole as “bronze-tangential”, who started out as, “what would bronze be like if they were in this world?” and then becoming their own thing within said world because i just get stupid attached 

its an epidemic

7. Are your OCs part of any story or stories?nearly all of them, actually. that’s the main reason i make characters, after all! too many to really go into specifics here, again P: 

8. Do you RP as any of your OCs? If you do, introduce one of your RP OCs here!not often, but i think Bronze and Westrin are the most common ones. unless playing a character in dnd, or running an npc in dnd counts… then a whole lot more hahaha

9. Would you ever be willing to give any of your OCs to someone else?it depends on the circumstances. i don’t really like the idea, though. 

10. Introduce an OC with a complicated design? Westrin’s old getup is a pain to draw, and there was one other design i did that I cant find anywhere… whichever way, i dont often tend to draw super complicated things often 

a couple fakemon ive designed though… heheh those can get pretty finicky

11. Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a “sunshine”? hmmmmmmmm my immediate thought was Eric Silverdale from a comic i was working on a few years ago. hes a darling, i want him to be my friend irl

12. Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lothow could you do this to me i love each and every one of all my friends ocs GOD the first one who comes to mind is @d20-official‘s Smith, whos Bronze’s friend… everyone in that DND party actually

13. Do you have any troublemaker OCs? Rated on a scale from “harmless” to “honestly somewhat frightening”: -Baromet (charming and quite friendly but definitely a kleptomaniac),-Westrin (demigod of bards and travelers), -XEN09 (a nonsense hacker), -Conny (needlessly contrarian and dumb as HELL), -Enza Colie (long fucking story but hes a good-for-nothing), -Hemlocke (mad scientist, chaotic evil), -Iris (AI and hacker, VERY bad), -The Terminus (glitch-in-the-matrix demon, chaotic evil), -and Sydd (the Queen of the Faeries, hopefully the danger there needs no explaining :’D)

14. Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory Mmm… there’s a few of them, most obviously Lent (whose background I did a short comic about). Basically his entire town got eaten by ghosts and turned into zombies, he only barely survived with a sliver of his soul left. 

15. Do you like to talk about your OCs with other people?yes, i often discuss storylines and such with friends

16. Which one of your OCs would be the best at biology (school subject)? Probably Bronze’s dad! I don’t talk about him much, but his name’s Devon Reed, and he was a biotech developer specialising in android design. 

I often describe him as being something of a reverse Arthur Weasley - a very fatherly scientist fascinated to the moon and back with the concept of magic. 

17. Any OC OTPs? having trouble thinking of a lot of them right now, but there’s Eric + Lent & Naiadine + Tailias from Emerald Sigil, Avken + Baromet from my space campaign world, Sydd + Wyvv from my unnamed campaign world, and I’ve been considering Westrin + Servant as an interesting dynamic in Servant’s story

18. Any OC crackships? My character Bismuth and @autistictimeknight​‘s oc Eros. Theyre so fucking in love, I love it. Its been awhile but I do still think about them sometimes.

As I recall, Eros is an empath, she can read other people’s emotions. But Bismuth is a robot, and Eros can’t read her. Because of this Eros can let go of her fear of unintentionally manipulating the emotions of her date, which would hold her back from most other relationships. 

19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)Hey, meet Bronze! I definitely do not talk about them every five minutes, why would you say that. 

Bronze was with me through two of the hardest years of my life so far, and being a DND character they grew with me, both as a fighter and as a person. They were non-binary before I started using those pronouns, they were the first character or person or anything who I fought someone about using the right pronouns for, they make a great icebreaker for if I want to see how someone reacts to non-binary pronouns … 

One funny anecdote about Bronze is that when I first made them, their “gimmick” was that they would sometimes glitch out and mess up their speech, mostly because I wanted an excuse not to engage in the roleplaying (which I was very bad at). The interesting thing is that as I got better at interacting with the group, we both grew out of needing it very quickly. 

I’m very proud of Bronze. 

20. Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details (headcanon voice, what kind of songs they like etc)?Westrin is a bard! His singing voice sounds like Bill Wurtz and these are his theme songs.

21. Your most artistic OCProbably Westrin again, he writes a lot of songs… and Hallux is a game designer?

22. Is there any OC of yours people tend to mischaracterize? If yes, how? I honestly dont know… no-one talks to me about them, haha! 

people use all manner of pronouns for bronze, though. 

23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like?I’m gonna go with Enza for this one. Enza Colie was originally written entirely because I wanted an antagonist for a short starring his sister, Jane Colie. But the more I fleshed out his reasonings for acting how he did and explored his character, the more I realised he’d make an even more interesting character if allowed to have a redemption arc, too. 

I just want to state for the record that I was very reluctant to the idea, and he basically dragged his way out of the villain pit entirely of his own accord. I am dubiously proud of him, and also a bit scared. 

24. If you could meet one OC of yours, who would it be and why?Probably either Eric (Big Man, Best Friend), Crocus (Mother figure), Reed (Father Figure), Westrin (hed just make a good friend u kno??), or Bismuth (she makes good conversation!)

25. The OC that resembles you the most (same hobby, height, shared like/dislike for something etc?)probably the homestuck fan-troll Hallux, but that’s mostly because they were based on a troll-sona I made awhile ago. They’re a hope/prospit game designer who is small and full of rage and love

oh, and there’s dave! dave’s a superhero speedster, existing in a modern-day superhero version of seattle. theyre idiot, just like me,

26. Have you ever had to change your OC’s design or something else about them against your will? this is an interesting one… i don’t think ive ever had something Bad in a design ive done called to my attention by someone, but I did create my character Servant at around the same time I was first really expanding the diversity of my casts. (since i don’t talk about him often, a little context: he’s a magic spirit creature bound to human form to serve the royal family of the land and follow their orders.) 

somehow, younger-and-more-stupid me managed to have the revelation that making this “eternal slave” character literally anything other than a white man, especially as a white author, would be Pretty Not Good. im … thats really, really not something i should pat myself on the back for, but i do consider it one of the biggest bullets dodged in my artistic career so far that i realised that not all representation is good representation so quickly, before i could make that incredibly, incurably stupid mistake. 

after that, trying to make sure my characters and their presentations don’t harm anyone pretty much has become a paranoia. i don’t seem to have stepped on any toes yet, but when it inevitably happens, please let me know - i didnt know, and i want to fix it! 

27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song? None that I can think of, actually! I don’t really do that often. 

28. Your most dangerous OC? god damn it i have no idea!!! is it the terminus? glitch in the matrix god of chaos motherfucker?is it sarle? terrifying calculating scientist with the power of the soul at her fingertips ??? is it ares??? is it athena????? is it petra?????? the gatekeeper???? 

… actually, the gatekeeper might be it, if “dangerous” just refers to “the amount of raw power it can wield”. the Gatekeeper is a titanic entity that exists in interdimensional multiverse space, and its implied to have the ability to create and destroy entire universe bubbles at will. for what cosmic purpose, no-one knows. 

at a more personal scale, though, literally all of the aforementioned characters are pretty bad to run into too. 

29. Which one of your OCs would go investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone they’re going?god. Mina or Tawn. Tawn is the Indiana Jonesy type and probably dumb enough, but also competent enough not to get into too much trouble there. Mina would probably drag her friends along. 

30. Which one of your OCs would most likely have a secret stuffed animal collection? XEN09. No-one knows, because no-one knows xir personal identity. Xe absolutely does, though. It’s less of a secret if you know xir in person, but good luck finding out about it otherwise. 

31. Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really)dave just reblogs memes all the time tbh. they like to keep tabs on the ridiculous superhero news going on, and they show human jokes and cat videos to their alien gf. they dont really post or add to posts, but they talk in tags a lot. 

32. Which one of your OCs would be the most suitable horror game protagonist and why? i want to say tawn because i literally just realised ive been imagining their voice as sounding like luigi this entire fucking time and i never realised until this exact instant

33. Your shyest OC?probably baromet. they prefer to keep to themself in their hideout, with their collection of shiny things. they don’t really enjoy trying to communicate much, mostly because they expect to get yelled at. 

34. Do you have any twin characters?Yes! At least two sets; 

- Crocus and Sarle. (x) (x) They don’t exactly have a very well-developed relationship, but they are both quite important to the plot of my campaign world, and they are both very interesting. Crocus is a motherly figure who just exudes friendliness, while Sarle is .. very much not that, a researcher studying very gruesome things and pushing the boundaries of reality. 

- Jane and Enza Colie. I haven’t talked a whole lot about either of them here, but I’d rather leave their story to do the talking whenever I get around to it. Essentially, the both of them were intended to do the dirty work for their crime boss family, but Jane ditched to study medicine. Most of the conflict between the two of them comes out of Enza not understanding why she made the choice she did, and coming to understand how he’s been manipulated. 

35. Any sibling characters? I can’t really think of any off the top of my head, I should … I should really work on that. 

I can talk about Westrin, though. Westrin (a demigod of many things, but namely bards, travel, travelers, and people who are lost) often becomes close friends with mortals, sometimes practically adopting them. These people who consider him family, and people who have received his blessing, are able to use his surname, Brilanta, as their own if they choose. So I guess all of the Brilantas are siblings, at least in spirit. 

Oh, and XEN09 has like, seven siblings. Xe is the second-oldest, and least remarkable. 

36. Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else (siblings, lovers, friends etc)? I already talked about Eros and Bismuth up there a ways in question 18, but I’ll talk about another relationship here. @autistictimeknight​‘s character, Nova the Alchemist, is mentor and adopted parental figure to my character Munna. Munna … Munna isn’t a very good apprentice. She tries very hard. 

37. Introduce an OC who is not quite human That’s most of them, I’m not quite sure what to say here. Bronze is an android? Bronze again? Westrin? All the aliens ?? 

38. Which one of your OCs would be the best dancer? man. uh. westrin or jean. or perhaps valencia. 

39. Introduce any character you want ??? uhhhHHHhhHHH Lord Brillium is the reigning deity of the Cloud Kingdoms in the other campaign setting I’m working on. They represent light and the quest for knowledge, and spend most of their days in the Cathedral Observatory watching the stars. 

40. Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share!one time bronze flew a hover-bike through the stained glass window in a cathedral blaring all star by smash mouth on their iguana

also one time bronze rickrolled a rakshasa demon and then pulled updog on it like, two minutes later

another time bronze scared off an entire army by pretending to be an automated security system 

41. Has anyone drawn fanart of your OCs? If yes, maybe show a picture or two here (remember sources & permissions!)ive got a whole little folder on here from all you blessed people !!!! right now ive got a drawing quinn did of one o fmy characters as my lockscreen

but i think the one i’ll really never ever get over is this piece of Jane, by @rabendraws​ / @owoltron​: 

(i bet you thought i forgot about this, dude. dude. think again.) 

42. Which one of your OCs would be the most interested in Greek gods? this is kind of a weird question, m, I feel like Bismuth would find learning about the mythos utterly fascinating, as would Tawn. 

43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confesshaha. uh. i might. 

aside from the entire “bronze-tangential characters” thing i mentioned awhile back, I tend to really like designing characters with hair color lighter than their skin color. it just looks so cool man. i love drawing freckles but dont put them on enough characters. i like really curly hair, but also really long and flowy hair. i like drawing triangular body types, and pointy/prominent noses. 

44. Something you like about your OCs in generaluhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh this is a really vague question. m. m. 

45. A character you no longer use?there’s old versions of characters, but a lot of my older ones have been somehow repurposed. I guess there’s Turien, my first-ever DND character, who’s just kind of sitting dead now. Haven’t really done anything with him other than a pretty recent tangential character. 

46. Has anyone ever told you that you treat your OCs badly?Not that I can think of.

47. Has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your OCs as their child? Im certain it’s happened, but I can’t remember any specific instances. 

48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pureSpring. spring knows nothing of th dangers of the world who is letting them into fights someon eneeds to stop this

(spring roll, hehe.) 

49. Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memesim not sure what this question is asking since many of my ocs actively enjoy memes including but not limited to westrin, dave, bronze, xen09, iris, and doctor archersen

50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you wanti think. i think im going to pass on this one. i gave you the good old oc talk. your damn turn, yall: 

if you have any questions about any of these guys feel free to shoot one at me!

thats all from me im tired and its one am. techskylander you absolute madman 

[mental-health-advice]

Submission from A.C.S.

I’ve been suffering from low mood for the past couple of years, but since last year, my low mood has morphed into apathy, and I no longer seem to care about anything. I don’t care about my health, my friends, my family, my teachers, I lie all the time because I don’t care enough to tell the truth and I never feel bad for lying and I barely care about my school work, but when I do care, it’s just anxiety and a constant feeling that I’m never going to be good enough. I’m barely ever happy with my performance anymore, I just feel like I should have done better, and even when I get full marks on things, I feel like my answer wasn’t good enough. This weird mixture of apathy and anxiety mean that I don’t care enough to do my work or revise for mocks, but when I get the results back (almost always As and A*s), I feel nothing or I just feel shame and worry about how I’ve done and how I have to do better next time. It’s making school awful, and I get home and I waste hours in bed instead of doing my work, so I’m rushing everything the night before which makes me more stressed, and sometimes I just don’t do it because I don’t care at all. The apathy also means that I don’t care about my friends or their lives or anything, and even when they’re obviously upset or hurting, except one or two people, I don’t care and I only pretend to care because I’m supposed to, but often I don’t even bother to try and care and their emotions just annoy me and I lash out at them for bothering me. It’s awful because it means I’m a terrible friend and person all together, and I’m hurting the people I care about because of it but often I don’t even care enough to apologise. I have no idea what to do or where to even begin, because I don’t have the energy to care about anything anymore and if this keeps up, I’m going to lose the few friends I have and I’m going to fail my GCSEs. Any advice? {Please tag as A.C.S.} {Resend of the submission deleted because of a glitch}

Hi darling,

I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been struggling with this lovely! Even though I haven’t dealt personally with everything you mention, I can definitely relate to wasting hours in bed not doing school work and then rushing everything the night before, as well as feeling like your results aren’t good enough. I hope me relating to a part of your current struggles can be beneficial in giving advice and helping out!

It sounds to me like you’ve been struggling a lot lately. Apathy can occur in different mental illnesses, including (but not limited to) schizophrenia or other psychotic disorders, depressive disorders, and bipolar disorders. I’d highly recommend you not to self-diagnose for the reasons listed here, but I do think it’s important to look into this with a professional. With them you can figure out whether there’s an underlying issue that needs treatment, or if something else is going on. You can read more about getting professional help here, and I really think that would be good for you!

Not caring can definitely do a lot of harm, and it seems like you’ve been experiencing that lately. With schoolwork it goes from not caring at all to a state of anxiety where you care too much with nothing in between, and that makes doing school work difficult! I think the way to go about this is to attack the underlying issue with professional help, so that you can start caring a little more, even if it’s only slightly more. For example if it turns out that you’re struggling with a depressive disorders to which this apathy is related, then medication can help in reducing your apathy, which can make it easier for you to do schoolwork. Other than that I find that planning helps a lot! It doesn’t fix everything. There are days where you’ll just lay in bed and don’t do anything for school. But creating a planning does sketch a realistic idea of what you need to do, which might trigger a slight form of caring. Then when that happens, you can try to push yourself to get some things done. It doesn’t have to be everything, but every single thing you get done earlier than the night before is great already! You might also want to look up some studyblrs here on tumblr, as this can be quite motivating too! If there is something that motivates you or that you care about, see if you can connect this to doing your schoolwork, for example by rewarding yourself with something if you get some of your schoolwork done.

At the same time it sounds like you’re struggling with perfectionism. I know this all too well. It’s honestly so difficult to get back a grade that anyone else would cry tears from joy over, and you just sit there feeling disappointed in yourself because all you can see are the things that you could have done better. And yes, also if you get full marks. Perfectionism sucks a lot. I personally found it hard to get the motivation to try and fight it. My reasoning would go like this: ‘I don’t want to fight perfectionism, because it means that I’ll be okay with lower grades, and my perfectionism tells me that I’m not allowed to be okay with lower grades.’ As you can see this is quite a vicious cycle, and not helpful at all! When perfectionism is taking over, try to challenge those thoughts. So an example would be: ‘You have an 8.5 for one of your best classes, this is so bad.’ ‘An 8.5 isn’t a bad grade, it’s 3 points higher than a pass mark, and therefore it’s a good grade.’ ‘But you’re supposed to do better in your best classes.’ ‘I studied to the best of my ability. It was a hard test. There are a lot of people with lower grades, and it’s okay if there are people with higher grades. I don’t have to excel in everything, that’s an unrealistic expectation to have of myself.’ This is just an example, but I hope you get the idea! Sometimes it can be helpful to write this all down. Try to stick to the rational thoughts. They might not feel okay yet, but they will eventually. It takes time.

When it comes to your friends, how would you feel about opening up to them about the apathy you’ve been dealing with? You explained it all really well in this submission, and I think it’d be something they could understand too! You do care about them, as you say, but sometimes you can’t feel that care, and all you can feel is this apathy crushing you, causing you to lash out. If they know about what you’re going through, they can be more understanding. It doesn’t give you an excuse to keep acting that way, but it does give an explanation to them which might prevent them from stopping the friendship. Although of course it they do so, that’s their decision and they have every right to do so! It doesn’t just stop at explaining though, this is something that you need to work on (for example with the professional I mentioned earlier). Other than that, it can be good to remind yourself that you don’t want to lose those friends, and in order to achieve that you need to change your behaviour. Again, make sure you have something that motivates you to change your current behaviour.

I also think it would be good to speak to someone at school about how you’ve been struggling. There might be some arrangements possible to be made. Depending on what helps you, there could be postponing deadlines, separate exam rooms, etc. This is all different per school, so it’s best to speak to someone at school about it to see what options are available for you. And in general, it can be helpful if they know a bit about what’s going on.

I hope this was at least a little bit helpful lovely! I feel like I’ve rambled on a lot, so I apologise for that! I wish you all the luck in dealing with this. And I also want to apologise one more time for the inconvenience of your submission being deleted!

Sometimes what seems impossible, is just hard.

Keep fighting beautiful <3

Love Pauline