#honeycombwerewolfe

[bisexualsurgeonextraordinaire]

Apparently it’s been 3 years since we all found out that Bernie was still alive

Serena feels like celebrating this 🥳🥳🥳

@honeycombwerewolfe

[lord-of-killer-indecencies]

Think of this blog as a trashcan filled with my favourite nuts and shiny things.

If you're an rp blog, allow me to redirect you over to my | RP SIDE BLOGS | - no need to follow this main unless you want to have a stream of chaos on your dash. If you are not an rp blog and end up following my rp blogs: please read and follow my rules, or you will get blocked, and we will both be sad.

(For mobile: @adrenalineascending and @honeycombwerewolfe are most active muses atm)

[reluctantwonderchild]

The meaning of love

As she looked over and watched the pair dance, Charlie couldn’t help but be struck dumb at what she saw. The pair, clearly oblivious to everyone else around them, were so besotted with one another. So obviously in love, that it emanated from them and filled the room with warmth and happiness.

It dawned on Charlie that this was perhaps the first time she’d seen love like this. Or at least, seen either of her parents so happy and content. So at ease. As if they were adjoining pieces of the same jigsaw. They simply fit together, like it was always meant to be. It filled her with both joy and sadness that Bernie had, seemingly, only found this in the last few years. But she had found Serena and for that Charlie would forever be grateful.

Watching Bernie and Serena, Charlie was brought back to her own speech made not that long ago. Only just now realising how true her words had been.

“I used to think I knew what love was. True love. Fairy tales, movie endings. Driving off into the sunset for a ‘happily ever after’. Naïve thoughts I think we all have growing up. But it’s from watching mum and Serena that I can now see what love really is. No relationship is perfect. But if I can ever find someone I can have a relationship with that is anything like theirs then I think that’ll be a pretty good life. Partners who are equal. Treat each other with respect. Acceptance. Support each other. A relationship filled with kindness, humour, passion, and contentment. You know every so often when you see a couple and you can’t imagine them not being together? Or that it just feels right that they were meant to be together? That’s what I feel when I see Serena and mum. After everything that’s happened over the last few years. Everything we’ve been through as a family. I’m so proud to be able to stand here and celebrate their love and relationship with you all. And I’m proud to be the daughter, and now, stepdaughter, of two such amazing women. I know I’m not the only one.”

It was with a pang of grief, one that she quickly tried to push away, that she thought of Cam and Elinor as her speech drew to a close and she picked up her glass to raise a toast.

Afterwards, when she had a moment with Bernie and Serena, she’d pull her mum into a hug and whisper: “I meant it, you know. I am proud, and I love you so much. I know Cam would say so too.” Her arms, tightly wrapped around Bernie, hoping her mum would feel the magnitude of her love even as her bottom lip wobbled at the thought of her brother.

@honeycombwerewolfe

[edwardcampbellrp]

OOC The muse is feeling very smug after riling up a certain trauma surgeon yesterday.

[doctorjameswatson]

Potatoe strawberry and lemon! - villainouspassion

🍋 - Does your muse complain about things to you? If so, what?

Not so much in words. I usually get feelings from them, especially in terms of their reactions to situations and replies. Occasionally it feels like they’re talking to me. There’s a lot of side eye, lol.

🍓 - What’s your sweetest rp experience so far?

I think probably my current loudest muse - @bisexualsurgeonextraordinaire

It’s, I think, the first time I’ve RPed a lgbt woman and I’m finding shipping her with @honeycombwerewolfe to just be so sweet and lovely. They’re an amazing ship and two amazing characters. I’m just having so much fun with her right now.

🥔 - What’s the dumbest mistake you’ve made in rp?

Usually involves throwing my muses into pain and then later regretting it when I empathise and end up feeling the pain I’m putting my muse through. Otherwise, I occasionally make a spelling mistake and I find that incredibly frustrating. I really don’t like making mistakes.

@villainouspassion

[honeycombwerewolfe]

The Aftermath

(long post beneath the cut)

honeycombwerewolfe

Apart from the restless nights, life was progressing steadily in the direction of normal again. She dined with Serena, rolled her sleeves up in the garden, read under the Spanish sun. It was almost like the last year hadn’t really happened. Almost. There was a  minuscule amount of disconnect where Bernie would get lost in the quiet and the still of the villa.

It was just another laid back day: Bernie was stood in front of the sink while the sun streamed in from the window. Her mind went blank as she cleaned up the last of this mornings dishes. (Apparently the only thing she had needed all those years to make her tidy up was far too much free time on her hands.) She wasn’t sure why it happened then. Nothing out of the ordinary, or stressful even, had occurred that morning. She hadn’t been thinking about Africa. There was no trigger as they say. All the same, it came…on that sunny Wednesday at the sink. Bernie’s grip on the mug in hand tightened, her shoulder nudging up to try to wipe away some of the stray tears that had started to stream down her face.

Get a grip Wolfe, Bernie thought as she took a long shaky inhale. Come on Wolfe, hold it together. And so through water logged vision, she did her best to keep washing…all the way up until warm arms encompassed her and familiar hands stilled hers. Maybe it was the safety of those arms…but Bernie finally reconnected with the world around her. It was a painful and disorienting messy thing as she dissolved into the support of her partner…and only just the first step on a long journey.

bisexualsurgeonextraordinaire

Although Bernie had insisted that she was fine, that she hadn’t been hurt during the last year, Serena did wonder if there would be a fallout. Living under heightened stress for a prolonged period of time affected people in different ways. Serena had escaped to Spain to heal and she hoped it would provide the same for Bernie. Perhaps Spain would be a tonic for them both.

As the days passed, Serena had made sure to keep an eye on Bernie for any symptoms that she might need help for. For any times she might need extra support. But she did so without making too much of a point about it, without pushing too far. For Serena knew that Bernie would come to her when she was ready. She would be there whatever happened. That’s what being partners meant. Being there for each other, through thick and thin. For better or worse. Serena had made her mind up a long time ago that she would do anything for Bernie.

In the end it began in a much quieter way than Serena had anticipated. In fact if she hadn’t just been walking into the kitchen, she might have missed it. Putting a vase of flowers down on the table, Serena had glanced over at Bernie and that was when she’d noticed the change. The tension. It wasn’t until she was alongside Bernie that she noticed the tears.

Without a second thought, Serena enveloped Bernie in an embrace as she removed Bernie’s hands from the sink. Guiding Bernie towards her body, Serena was a quiet, steady presence, murmuring: “It’s okay, you’re safe. I’ve got you.” Prepared to stay there, holding Bernie, for as long as it took, Serena pressed a kiss to Bernie’s forehead and waited to see what would happen next.

She clung to Serena, throat too tight for sobs and thoughts too jumbled to speak. All she could do was let out the flood of tears she couldn’t rationalize. The damp of Serena’s shirt under Bernie’s cheek was the only mark of time she had to go by but she was shattered on a physical level by the time the tears stopped.

She eventually choked out a soft, "Sorry" - and cleared her throat - "Not sure where that came from..." She tried to force out a laugh but only managed a sheepish smirk. As much as she hated letting down her defenses, she trusted Serena enough to know she would never use it against Bernie...well almost never.

[xchxsingcxrsx]

Zubin had spent some time in New York with his daughter. He had been doing that when he could when he wasn’t working in London. He always found ways to keep himself busy. Especially after everything that had happened when he was in Holby.

He had been back in London for a few weeks when he had been contacted about going back to work at Holby. He glanced around at his apartment that he was living at in London and realized it was about time he headed back. He hadn’t spoken to Ric for a while so he had no idea he wasn’t working at Holby anymore. Packing some stuff, he made his way to Holby. The house he had there before, he hadn’t sold but rented it out. Thankfully no one had been renting it lately so it was empty for him. The next morning, he drove to work and looked up at the place. The last time he had been here hadn’t been a good time in his life. Glancing around, he headed inside and upstairs to the floor he needed to be on. He wasn’t even sure who he would recognise here.

@honeycombwerewolfe

[attherfingertips]

@honeycombwerewolfe

“Bernie, darling,” Fleur’s voice is CRISP as a morning in spring- and no less warm. She waltzes onto AAU armed with clipboard and smile. She’s to be BRIGHT because someone must. 

It isn’t her pain around Bernie’s sad, hospital bed but it’s one she feels all the same. 

“My name’s Fleur Fanshawe-” A smile- “I hear you’re feeling a bit under the weather.” 

[theuncagedstorm]

OOC

So, I haven’t been on this blog in a very long time. Tried to get her up and running again but didn’t quite work out. For now I’m putting her on official Hiatus but if you’d like to rp I am currently writing for @adrenalineascending and  @honeycombwerewolfe

[theuncagedstorm-indie]

OOC

So, I haven’t been on this blog in a very long time. Tried to get her up and running again but didn’t quite work out. For now I’m putting her on official Hiatus but if you’d like to rp I am currently writing for @adrenalineascending and  @honeycombwerewolfe

[bisexualsurgeonextraordinaire]

Hey... so er... could you maybe... get your wife a hair brush for christmas this year? I feel like it's something no ones ever gotten her and the the woman's in serious need. If theres room in the budget... detangling spray wouldn't go a miss either. Your hair however... fabulous dahling.

"I do assure you, Bernie owns and uses a hairbrush. Perhaps you should use the apparent ample time you have on your hands to worry about your own situation." Serena eyes up the nonnie's hair with practised distain.

Although she does make a mental note to buy some detangle spray for Bernie the next time she pops into Superdrug.

[bisexualsurgeonextraordinaire]

Nightmare ask- Ellys car rushed at you and for a moment you genuinely thought she was going to run you over but instead you felt yourself shoved out of the way. As your body hit the ground you heard the deafening screech of the cars breaks and the crack of a windscreen. A sense of deja vu hit you. Jason. Scrambling to get to your feet you ran to the front of the car only to find not Jason, but Bernie, laying face down on the tarmac, a halo of red surrounding her golden head.

There had been many iterations of this dream. Several revolved around Serena stopping Elly before she got to the car. Stopping Jason from getting hurt. Perhaps even stopping her daughter's death. In others it was Serena that got hit, and even a few where Elly ended up dying an even more horrific death than reality had bestowed.

They all hurt. All left Serena waking up with a start and a cry, sweat pouring and heart scrambling to tell fiction from reality. But, no matter what, she was always left with the heavy, sinking feeling of the grief that would never leave her. That her daughter was dead.

This version was a particular nasty one. For, if there was a loss that would ever come close to that of her daughter, it was Bernie. Seeing the scene play out once more, it was with a sickening scream that Serena woke up - a cry of "Bernie!" leaving her lips. Even as sleep left her, Serena couldn't get the image of Bernie lying dead and prone on the cold tarmac. Sobbing into her hands, there would be no more sleep tonight. Not until wine had been drunk, enough to blur out the memory of that dream and the blood stained blonde hair.

[bisexualsurgeonextraordinaire]

Bittersweet Birthday

Usually, this time of year signalled the start of happier times. The days would start to get longer. Personally painful anniversaries for Serena had passed for another year. But, most importantly, it held Bernie’s birthday. In happier times for them both, Serena had revelled in making plans and buying gifts. But this year, going all out didn’t seem quite right. Surprises were certainly out of the question. Still, Serena had a few ideas up her sleeve. 

It started with a steaming cup of coffee at Bernie’s bedside and a small pile of cards that had arrived over the past few days. Serena, having popped back into bed once the coffee had brewed, snuggled up to Bernie - gently carding her fingers through Bernie’s hair. 

@honeycombwerewolfe

[bisexualsurgeonextraordinaire]

How did Bernie propose the first time? How did you feel?

"Well, she didn't propose. Not in the sense of actually saying - Serena, will you marry me?" Serena chuckled as she admitted how it had played out. "We were discussing the future. Buying a house together. How we both wanted to continue our careers. Then Bernie mentioned sharing her pension. Of course, I then pointed out that we'd have to be married for that." Another chuckle as a broad smile and look of pure happiness spread across her features. "After a few moments of nervous bumbling, I finally managed to get Bernie to admit that she was asking me to marry her. I said yes. That was that. As for how I felt, well, I don't think I've ever been happier."

[bisexualsurgeonextraordinaire]

Five Years

The following thread contains themes of grief and child loss. I’m not tagging as I don’t really understand what works and what doesn’t for tumblr now so please read this warning before proceeding with reading the thread.

It was funny, Serena thought, that something could feel like it happened so long ago and yet also feel like it had happened yesterday. She’d been dreading this day. Dreading having to face the worst of anniversaries yet again, and this time with the added grief of what Bernie was currently going through. Her partner’s pain was so new, so raw, it felt wrong to bring attention to her own. So, Serena quietly counted down the days, sleep coming less and less easily, if it ever came easily these days. If she could just get past this day, she might be able to breathe again, to focus on Bernie and not the weight of all that this day meant. For, tomorrow would be just another day, and not the day her daughter had died.

At least, that was what she told herself as she finally gave up on sleep at about 3am. In an attempt to not disturb Bernie, Serena had tried to keep the tossing and turning to a minimum. Turned away from Bernie, she’d taken to staring off into the dark, lost in her own thoughts and grief. Once she could no longer bear to lie in bed, and once she was sure Bernie was asleep, Serena quietly got dressed and slipped out of their rented home - leaving a note for Bernie on her nightstand. A note that read - gone to see Ellie.

@honeycombwerewolfe

[bisexualsurgeonextraordinaire]

I mean... You say she has a hair brush but... Have you ever checked to make sure she uses it correctly?

Fixing the nonnie with the patented Ms Campbell stare, Serena was in no mood for frivolity nor jest.

"Don't you have something better to do with your time than worry about a consultant's hair? The rest of us do, I assure you."