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repulsiveliquidation · 6 months

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Thorn in My Side || Jessie Fleming

warnings : mentions of injury and surgeries. insinuations of cheating and false accusations. angst. happy ending and smut will be in part two.

summary : you get injured, its Jessie's fault. or so you thought.

a/n : as i type this, i think i've figured out how to incorporate the smut! i'll get to writing as soon as this is posted! i'm not sure if it makes much sense, here's to hoping. enjoy.

“for your UCLA Bruins, number 21, Jessie Fleming!”

Jessie steps forward and smiles, waving to the flood of Bruins fans in the stands cheering them on. You clap with a scowl on your face, watching as the girls in the stands ogle and fawn over her. You’re admittedly jealous of her for reasons unbeknownst to you, but seeing the 5’5’ Canadian made your blood boil.

She was good on the football pitch and was smart to go along with it. Jessie had it all. Being called up for most of her time in school and playing for her national team made her well-known in the soccer world from the moment she was here in America.

She was ferocious on the grass, a fearless midfielder who put everything out there.

The game was a close one, tied at the half 2-2. There were lots of contact, tackles, and battles that made it clear to anyone watching that there was tension between you and Jessie. One always found the other; if one had the ball, the other wanted it.

You had possession, running towards goal. There was a flash of blue and you were on the ground yelling in pain, hands clutching at your ankle. There was a loud pop and your ankle began to swell. The trainers came over and were hauling you off on a stretcher almost immediately, the ref showing Jessie a yellow for the unsafe tackle. It wasn’t a red card because really you fell a little weird and her studs were nowhere near your ankle.

She looked genuinely sorry, taking your hand in hers as you were stretchered off. You were in too much pain to care, shoving her hand out of yours and your teammates pulling her away from you.

A broken ankle was what they said. It was a clean break but you needed surgery and that meant no more soccer for the season.

Just great.

They put you in a wheelchair before you head to the hospital, your parents are already at the stadium to take you. You hear the final whistle blow and your teammate rolls you in, the girls all feeling sad when you tell them the news. There’s a little Bruins blue in the sea of Trojans in front of you and there’s a Canadian standing there digging her cleat into the grass, wanting to apologize.

Megan and Kasey stand beside you just in case things get a little heated. Jessie steps forward and looks more sorry for you when she sees the bandages and you in a wheelchair.

“Is it broken?” she asks genuinely, looking at your leg and then at you.

“No thanks to you,” you snide, rolling your eyes at her. “What do you want now, Fleming?”

“I wanted to apologize, I didn’t mean for this to happen,” she says sincerely but you’re too bitter to hear her take ownership of her actions.

“You knew what you were doing, Fleming. You’ve always been out to get me our entire college career and now in our final year you finally get what you want!”

You don’t know the tears were starting until they did, pouring down your face hot and fast. She looked a little mortified and pale, backing away and saying she was sorry over and over before a sea of Bruins pulled her away to celebrate their win.

The whole car ride to the hospital you spent weeping, thinking about how you’re not going to be able to play your senior year out like you had hoped. But more so of the look of pure horror on Jessie’s face when you accused her of hating you so much that she would purposely hurt you.

She looked on the verge of tears. Like hurting you scared her.

You scared her.

“The break is clean, but rehab will take a while if you’re not careful,” said Dr. Jeff, the attending podiatrist.

“How long?”

“You’re looking at 14 to 16 weeks, kiddo. Two years if you’re stubborn like most of my patients are.”

“16 weeks sounds great.”

“Smart kid you got here,” the doctor tells your parents with a smile, “I’ll schedule you in for surgery today, you should be out of here by the end of the week.”

The doctor leaves and your mother begins to fuss, propping up pillows and getting your nurse to bring you more jello. Your father, on the other hand, has a look of all-knowing on his face.

“I’m sorry Dad,” you begin, head hanging low the moment your mother leaves the room.

“Don’t be sorry, peanut. These things happen. Better now than when you’re on a professional team, yeah?”

“She didn’t really make me break my ankle did she?” you ask, looking up at your dad who was rubbing your back as the tears filled your eyes again.

“It was the perfect tackle, kiddo. You just fell a little funny is all.”

“She looked so horrified when I said she did it on purpose,” you sob, leaning into your father’s stomach. He held you tight and cradled your head, your heart hurting more than your broken ankle, the face Jessie made when the words left your mouth etched behind your eyelids.

There are plenty of flowers in your room the moment you wake from surgery. Lots of cards and get well soon balloons hung from the ceiling. You were still groggy when your teammates visited, Megan was sure to bring lots of Sharpies to sign your cast with, all the girls leaving a nice note for you on it.

There was an hour left for visitations and your parents just left to wash up at home. You were mindlessly scrolling through the terrible TV channel selections while finishing your 5th Jello cup when there was a knock on the door.

“Come in!” you yell, thinking it was a nurse coming to check your vitals again. What you didn’t expect was to see a brunette Canadian poking her head through the door.

“Hi,” she said sheepishly, standing by the door unsure if you really would want her to come in.

“What are you doing here?” you ask as kindly as possible, eyes flickering towards the clock above the door, “it’s late, why aren’t you back at school?”

“Spring Break, my parents are down from Canada so I asked to see you before we drove back,” she says quietly, stepping in a little more. “Can I come in?”

You nod, unsure if your mouth would be polite enough. Anger still seethed in your bones but the look of sheer horror on her face was still fresh in your mind.

“How bad was it?” she begins, still standing near the now-closed door.

“Clean break, should take 16 weeks if I’m careful.”

“That’s good. The doctors here are great.”

“They are quite convincing, they know how to get a patient to stay on their medical plan.”

“Did you get Dr. Jeff?”

“He accused me of being stubborn.”

Jessie laughs and you smile, a light blush creeping up your cheeks. It’s an adorable sound and her face of laughter replaces the one of fear you had burned into your mind.

“I’m really sorry for all this,” she begins but you cut her off.

“It wasn’t your fault, my dad said it was a clean tackle. I just fell funny.”

You looked up at her and saw the relief on her face and she stepped forward, taking your hand in hers. You took a deep breath and reciprocated her ownership of her mistakes, feeling the weight lift off your shoulders the moment you looked her in the eyes.

“I shouldn’t have said what I said the other day Jessie, that was not fair to you.”

“Heat of the moment love, don’t worry about it.”

Your heart clenches hard when the pet name slips out of her lips and you smile, hoping she didn’t see your eyes dilate and feel your skin warm up. She nods and bids goodbye just as her phone rings which tells you her parents are waiting outside.

You sit there giddy and a little starstruck as she disappears out of view. Your hand is warm from her touch and you can still feel her hand holding yours. You thump your head back and curse loudly, before grabbing your leg in pain temporarily forgetting that you were actually hurt.

You giggle and bite your lip, shaking your head when your phone dings.

Maybe: Jessie Fleming.

“You look cute when you’re flustered.”

You clap a hand to your mouth and smile, face heating up with a dark blush.

“You did this, you better fix it.”

“I think we can make that happen, love.”

You don’t think you slept much that night, texting till the sun came up. Your parents came in to check on you in the morning and found you with your phone still on call with Jessie but you two were asleep. You woke up to your doctors talking to your parents and discussing your rehab plan. There was another text from Jessie, making your heart skip a beat.

“You’re also very cute when you’re sleeping.”

Over the next few weeks, you two talked constantly. Jessie kept you company when you were bored at rehab and you kept her company while she was training on her own. You called her every night before bed, giggling and laughing well into the night most nights.

“How is rehab coming along?” Jessie asked as you were lying back on the examination table to relax your ankle. She was in her bed, looking as stunning as you had been denying yourself the chance to admit.

“Good, looks like I can put pressure on it by next week if Tiff lets me,” you say, side-eyeing your trainer Tiffany who was doing cupping on another teammate’s back.

“Girl, I will hold your papers hostage, don’t test me,” Tiffany jokes, waving the lit fire stick at you.

“Yes ma’am I’ll be super-duper extra careful!” you answer with a salute, making Jessie laugh so loud it rings through the room. Most of your teammates know the thing you’ve got going with her and think it’s cute.

All but one.

Megan.

She stood at the door listening to you ramble on about Jessie this and Jessie that, her blood boiling at the thought of you being buddy-buddy with the girl she believed to be the one who hurt you.

Megan was a freshman who was from Florida. She was a great pick from her high school team, and the best defender on the East Coast. She made the team here at USC and to say the least, she fit right in.

There was homogeny that wasn’t there before she joined and the linkup between you and her helped you take her under your wing. She looked up to you and was so ecstatic to play with you after watching you on TV.

She felt that Jessie took away her only chance to play with you before you graduated.

Jessie needed to pay.

“Hey, weird question,” Jessie starts, one night while you two were tucked in bed and on the phone with each other.

“Yeah?” you ask, turning over onto your side. Jessie looked a little concerned but you shrugged it off, the girl was known to constantly look worried.

“Someone sent me this photo but it’s from an unknown number, I thought it was weird.”

Sent.

You looked at it in shock.

It was you. Kissing a girl on the basketball team.

“Jess this isn’t me.”

“I’m not blind you know, that’s you.”

“Jessie, I swear this was doctored! I’ve never talked to this girl, let alone fucking kissed her!”

“Then why did the fucking photo come with a text that said, “She’s not who you think she is,”?”

“I don’t know! No one else but the girls know about you and me! I promise Jessie please!”

“I need some time to think. Leave me alone.”

She hangs up.

The tears fill your eyes as you stare at this photo. You don’t even think you’ve crossed paths with this girl, having not been the biggest fan of basketball. But your face was clearly there and hers was too. Her lips were on yours and you looked like you were enjoying yourself.

You think and you think hard. You didn’t go to any parties lately with your leg and you haven’t been to any games of theirs. You stared at the photo for hours, wracking your brain for some kind of explanation.

An explanation as to why Jessie looked so hurt at the thought of you with someone else.

#jessie fleming #woso x reader #woso soccer #woso imagine #woso fanfics #woso community #portland thorns #jessie fleming x reader #jessie fleming imagine #woso #woso angst

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fruitcoops · 3 months

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After Midnight

Annual pride fic is here! I hope everyone is staying safe, well, and hydrated :) Character credit goes to @lumosinlove <3

TW for alcohol/ light drunkenness/hangovers

July 1, 1:30 p.m.

“Jesus,” Remus mumbled. Pressure pinched his lower back, runching up his shirt; he dug a clumsy hand beneath himself and fumbled for his phone. It took a few moments to extract it, clamped between weak knuckles, but he managed. Handful of Twitter notifications, a text from his dad, an automatic calendar notification, sticky lips and—good god, did his hair really look that bad?

He tried to sit up and was met with an immediate (and wildly cranky) grumble from the concrete slab resting across his belly.

Remus sighed, and closed his eyes. Getting up was overrated. He didn’t even want to think about the state of the house.

June 30, 10:30 p.m.

“AYO AYO AYO!”

Kasey winced. “Christ, Harz, take some pity on my eardrums.”

“Hey, man, sorry—has anyone seen the margarita mix?”

“Side counter,” Remus noted, tipping his chin toward the kitchen. “By the sink.”

Finn’s face brightened. “Sick, thanks.”

“Gentle pours, please. Not everyone here has a college liver.”

“Please,” Finn snorted as he cracked a screw-top open. “You’re all in much better shape than those guys ever were. Knutty around?”

Remus shrugged and took another sip of his beer. He liked this kind—Sirius had picked well. “Went off somewhere with Reg. Probably gaming.”

Finn whistled through his teeth. “Not getting him back anytime soon, eh?”

“Oh, you bet,” Remus laughed.

July 1, 2:00 p.m.

“We should ban frat boys from the team.”

“Mmm.”

“All of them. Every one.”

“Mmm.”

“Or at least remove the—” Sirius paused to catch another mouthful of water directly from the faucet. For the first time in Remus’ memory, his glossy hair looked slightly dull and flat. “—lead weights from their hands, mon dieu, what did they put in there?”

“Hell. Burning, vicious, alcoholic hell.” He turned his head with utmost caution, and still felt a warning throb in the back of his skull. “I liked those ciders you picked up.”

Sirius groaned; Remus watched his forehead bump the side of the kitchen cabinet with a soft noise. “Don’t talk to me about cider right now. My tongue feels like I licked one of your sweaters.”

Remus frowned. “You like my sweaters.”

“That’s not…” Sirius straightened with a wince. Both hands remained braced on the marble. “The fuzzy stuff, it’s all in my mouth. Wool.”

Remus thought it was rather more like someone had packed his cheeks and sinuses full of cotton balls, but sharing that didn’t seem like the wisest choice. Nine hours of sleep. Dizziness still threatened every attempt at movement. The tap turned off and he heard Sirius’ footsteps approach; pressure compacted Remus’ ribs once more with a wobbly flop.

“I like this shirt,” Sirius mumbled into his left pec. His voice was thick—from his hangover or drowsiness or just giving up on English, Remus wasn’t sure. Knowing Sirius, it was a bit of all three. His stubble scratched gently over Remus’ collarbone, still damp from sticking his head in the sink. “Soft. Cute.”

“It’s one of yours.”

“Ah. I have good taste.”

“Clearly.”

The corner of Sirius’ mouth pulled up in a smile. “Hmm. Harzy and Tremz are going to be doing bag skates until their legs fall off.”

Remus snorted, trailing his fingertips through the squashed curls at Sirius’ nape. “Not to play frat boy’s advocate here, but in their very weak defense, I don’t think the punch alone did this.”

“Non. Margaritas.”

“I still think Lily poured extra in.”

“Ouais, prolab—probleb—oui. She did.”

A phone screen lit up in Remus’ periphery. He grabbed for it, stiff-fingered and extremely stuck beneath a lump of husband, and squinted into the bright light. “Pots says good morning, and that he’s going to go lay on the porch for a few hours. He loves you.”

“Mmph. Love, too.”

June 30, 11:25 p.m.

Sirius loved parties. He fucking loved them. This was the best night of his life. Second-best, after his wedding. Or third? He was happy when Harry was born. But no, his ribs were still broken then. That had to put it under tonight, because tonight was perfectly amazing and awesome, and James was his—

“You’re my favorite person,” he yelled over the music, leaning on James’ shoulder in case he didn’t hear. “I love you!”

“I love you, too!” James shouted back. His glasses had gone a bit sideways on his face. That was fine. Lily would totally fix those for him. She liked to kiss his nose, and she had once told Sirius that fixing James’ glasses made sure she got to do it. Sirius thought she might want to pick something that wasn’t so easily broken.

“Hey,” he continued with a pull to James’ shirtsleeve. “I kiss loup on the mouth.”

“I know!”

“And the cheek!”

“Why are you telling me things I already know?”

“Because Lily kisses your nose,” he explained. Maybe the music was too loud for James to understand. He looked confused. “And you can break your nose. But you can’t break your mouth or your cheeks.”

Finally, understanding dawned on James’ face. “Dude,” he said. “You’re so right. We gotta go tell her.”

July 1, 2:07 p.m.

Remus set Sirius’ phone down on his lower back and reached for his own, wiggling a little when his hips got stuck under Sirius’ torso. A displeased huff followed—he kissed the top of Sirius’ head in apology and let the popsocket slot between his fingers, just in case. He was so clammy all of a sudden.

You Have (4) New Messages From: Lion Den RAHH

everyone not dead sound off

breathing.

Technically alive. Wish I wasn’t.

who made the fucikgn margs

New Message To: Lion Den RAHH

Not dead. Margs were Harz and Lily. You fuckers need to clean up after yourselves.

He had just clicked his phone off when the screen went retina-blasting bright again. Remus let his head fall back against the armrest and immediately regretted it. It took an embarrassing amount of time to lift his head again without the room tilting sideways.

New Message From: Lion Den RAHH

Big words. Small brain. Still drunj

*drnuk

DTUNK.

Three gray dots scrolled, then vanished. Remus smiled to himself. The vindictive part of him was glad to see they weren’t the only ones in Pride-induced misery.

New Message From: Lion Den RAHH

Some1 help knutty is snorng like a fucking chainswa

Remus glanced down. “Did you know Knutty snores?”

“In planes.”

The shallow rhythm of Sirius’ breathing flexed the shirt across his back. Remus gave an appreciative rub along the valley of his spine and felt him arch into it. “Aw,” he cooed. “My poor little hungover lion cub.”

“Nooo,” Sirius protested weakly.

“Poor baby. How will you survive.”

“At least you don’t snore.”

“True.”

“Is Harzy suffering?”

“As much as he can while he’s in bed on a Saturday with his boyfriends.”

“Good.”

July 1, 12:15 a.m.

“Bonjour, hi, hi.”

An arm caught him around the waist—Remus stumbled, but within half a step he had been gathered up against a warm, familiar chest. “Oh, hey,” he hummed, dopey even to his own ears. “Missed you.”

Sirius might have returned the sentiment, but Remus didn’t hear it through the buzz in his veins and the stutter of his heart when Sirius’ mouth found his own. He staggered backward with a sharp inhale and let Sirius carry their momentum. His back hit the wall; Sirius sighed into his lips when Remus dragged a hand through the top of his hair.

He tasted like oranges when Remus bit his lower lip. “Yum.”

“Love you,” Sirius said, smiling. Their foreheads bumped and Remus pushed into it. He was rewarded with another kiss that turned his ankles to loose jello. “Non, non, don’t leave.”

“Mmm, I’m not going anywhere,” he promised through a grin.

His eyes closed as Sirius’ mouth trailed over his cheek and jaw, then down to suck at his neck. “Should’ve done this earlier.”

Teeth grazed his skin with each word; Remus shivered despite the warm night. “Yeah?”

“Before the parade.” The sway of Sirius’ accent did unholy things to his heart. Stubble teased his skin when Sirius nudged under his chin. “That way everyone could see.”

“Oh, Jesus,” Remus breathed.

July 1, 3:45 p.m.

“Did you drown?”

Sirius glared at him across the bedroom, playful and foggy. Remus grinned and took a swig of Gatorade.

“You look like you did.”

“How are you rebounding?” Sirius grumbled.

Water droplets stuck to the mirror with each scrub of the towel through his hair. He’d left it longer than usual in the postseason, fluffy around his ears and neck. Remus was inclined to keep it that way as long as he could. He met Sirius’ gaze in the mirror and took another pointed sip. “Our lady of blessed electrolytes.”

“…give it.”

July 1, 1:30 a.m.

Sweat and glitter burned crystalline in the glow of multicolored LEDs. Sirius wasn’t sure where—or who—the glitter had come from, but finding one culprit in this crowd would be a losing battle, and one that required him to stand up. There was no way in hell he was leaving this perfect place.

Remus’ eyelashes threw shadows over his freckles when he blinked. “Do you think they’ll start leaving soon?”

“I’ve been hoping since midnight.”

His laugh was everything. Quieter at first, a mischievous snicker blooming loud at the end. Sirius let his eyes fall shut when Remus leaned over. His temple nestled against Sirius’ forehead. “Hi.”

The seam of his jeans rippled under Sirius’ fingertip. His quad flexed, and Sirius felt the weight in his lap grow heavier while Remus settled in. “Hey.”

“Proud of you.”

Sirius pressed his smile to a blush-warm cheek. God, he loved how pink Remus turned on nights like this. “I love you.”

It only took a minute adjustment, and they were kissing. He kept it soft and long and chaste, more a series of small pecks brought together by their closeness than anything. The tip of Remus’ nose was cool on the bridge of his own. He nibbled the corner of that grin and tasted bright apple-sugar, chasing it with a flick of tongue.

“You’re bad,” Remus murmured with audible delight, twisting slightly. He hardly went far—most of his weight rested on Sirius’ chest and he came closer without hesitation when Sirius tugged on his hips. His golden eyes flashed in the sudden transition from hot pink to blue lining their walls. “We have company.”

“So did Dumo.” Sirius kissed the roundness of his lower lip. “When we won the Cup.”

“We can’t throw a fuckin’ Pride party and then sneak off in the middle of it. It’s cliché.”

“If this is the middle, I’m sneaking off to sleep in an hour, and you can decide to join me or not.”

Remus’ laugh was loud all the way through, this time.

July 1, 6:00 p.m.

The groupchat had grown steadily more active as the hours passed and more of their friends were revived from their howling, sharp-toothed hangovers. Remus, for his part, had already sworn off alcohol six times in the past four hours. He hadn’t been left this hard-over since his junior year of college.

A gust of wind blew in from one of the many open windows and ruffled his shirt. Remus grimaced. “I still smell like a distillery.”

Sirius (who, despite his whinging, had recovered rather fast) sniffed the air. “Ouais.”

“Thanks, baby.”

“Worth it, though.”

Remus gave him a sideways look. “Was it?”

Sirius glanced up and frowned, then set his slice of pizza down. “I liked the party.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” One of his broad shoulders lifted in a shrug. “It was nice, having people around. The parade was fun. Kind of busy.” He took another bite, tipping his head back and forth thoughtfully even as a gentle blush colored his neck. “I like showing you off.”

Remus liked to think he had grown accustomed to Sirius’ sweetness—to his big heart and kind words, both of which were reserved for a select few that somehow included Remus. Yet he constantly found himself left speechless, cast far out to sea by the sheer honesty Sirius saved for him.

He stretched a leg out under the table and tangled their ankles together. “Love you.” Remus tilted his chin vaguely toward the window. “Here, and out there. For us and them.”

“We should have more parties,” Sirius said by way of an answer. The blush had risen to his ears. His foot ran along the length of Remus’ shin.

“Okay.”

“I want to see everyone, and I want to love you so they know it.”

Remus’ face hurt from keeping his smile from drifting too close to utter lunacy. “Okay.”

“We should ban glitter next year.” Sirius nodded to himself, then nudged Remus’ foot. “And frat boys.”

“They’re gay frat boys, though. They have a right.”

The bridge of Sirius’ nose wrinkled. Fucking adorable. “Well, maybe they just need to pick a side.”

“Lily was partially responsible for the biohazard margaritas,” Remus pointed out, picking a piece of pepperoni off Sirius’ slice and adding it to his own.

“She’s out, too.” Sirius jabbed his pizza at him. “And you’re on thin fucking ice, thief.”

“I’ll pick her party over yours.”

“You can’t pick your best friend over the person you’re gay married to. It’s Pride.”

Remus stole another pepperoni, dodging the smack of Sirius’ hand. “Then I’ll get gay married to Lily.”

“That doesn’t count.”

“Any marriage I’m in is a gay one,” Remus informed him, slouching lower in his seat to hook his calf around Sirius’. “I can gay marry anyone I want. I’ll gay marry a dozen people and go to all their parties over yours. Ha-ha-ha.”

Sirius flicked a piece of pineapple at him; it bounced off his chin, and while he was distracted, Sirius stole one of his pepperonis back with a triumphant grin. “Fine. See if any of them put up with you like I do.”

“Thief.”

A foot poked Remus in the back of the knee. “Doesn’t count if it was already mine.”

#remus lupin #sirius black #coops #fluff #sweater weather #vaincre #my fic #fanfic #lumosinlove #kasey winter #finn o'hara #alcohol

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ikeuverse · 1 year

Text

FIGHTER — l.heeseung

PAIRING: heeseung x fem!reader GENRES: very little angst, a bit of fluff at the end WC: 9.2k+

WARNINGS: mention of fighting, cuts, mention of being drunk, some swearing. let me know if i forgot anything else, please!

SYNOPSIS: you've never seen a fight up close before, let alone an illegal fight. it was a different scenario that caught your attention, really fascinating. now one thing stuck in your mind beyond the whole fight scene: but why did the cute fighter treat you so badly when the two of you had never seen each other before? did he have a good explanation for this?

NOTES: listening bouncy by ateez made me have this idea. i changed the writing a few times and even wanted to continue after the end, but i thought i'd leave it that way to have, who knows, a part two? idk, you can tell me if you wish that. hope you like it!

masterlist

You could call yourself an adventurous person. Perhaps a complete explorer of the little and big things in life. Parachuting in, changing course from medical school – done for five long semesters – and running off to study social communication and be a respected copywriter in your field.

But even with a good profession, you never stopped exploring, being encouraged, and even accompanied by your couple of best friends, Sunghoon and Kasey.

You met the girl at the university of communication. Sharing a dormitory with a stranger back then would not make you imagine that today she would be your best friend and also your best friend's girlfriend. Introducing her to Sunghoon at one of your first frat parties was easy. Kasey was super communicative, while Sunghoon was shy. The contrast made the two hit it off right away and, after years, they were still together even though university was over.

Those nostalgic thoughts left you with a smile adorning your lips as you stepped out of the shower, looking at your reflection in the mirror and grimacing when you saw yourself with wet hair.

Friday night, end of work and you left early. Almost as if she knew what was coming, Kasey texted you as soon as you entered the house and threw your bag next to the couch.

We are going out today. Light clothes and a super different place, I think you'll like it.

You always enjoyed her crazy antics, that's why you two hit it off from the first minute inside that university room. She was just as adventurous as you and this could only be a work of fate, bringing two people together as best friends to explore every crazy and interesting thing in this world.

That's why, without delay, you ripped off your clothes on the way to your bathroom and took a long shower. Washing your hair and taking a little longer with the liquid body soap just to feel a little more relaxed after work. Your night out with your friends was always a lively one, and since your chores had been heavy that Friday, only the hot water would be able to wash away – almost – everything bad before you put on a proper outfit and dried your hair.

As you rambled about your outfit after your hair was properly dried – your arms sore from trying so hard to give your strands a good attention – a sigh left your lips, before a thin scream echoed through your room. The sound of the phone startled you and quickly made you turn towards the bed.

The quick steps to grab the handset and answer it on the next ring.

"Hi, I'm listening" you smiled even though your best friend couldn't see.

"Did you dry your hair?" how Kasey could know you so well, you had no idea. Chuckling, you mumbled in agreement before she continued "Okay, fifteen minutes for an outfit. Sunghoon and I will pick you up."

She didn't even let you answer her, hanging up just as quickly as she called. Surprised at how little time you had, you ran to your closet to get something to wear. Smiling at your clothes thinking that at least you would have a ride home. Without spending on a car app and without worrying about some stranger bringing you home.

Taking one last look in the mirror after choosing your outfit, smiling satisfied at what you saw there, you left the room. Even more smiling after seeing that Kasey and Sunghoon were really punctual that day, texting you in fifteen minutes saying they were already waiting for you at the entrance of your building.

Locking your apartment and taking the elevator leisurely, you reached the first floor and waved to the old gentleman doorman who was always so smiley every day.

"Good evening, Miss y/n" he greeted you. You greeted him back, wishing the man a good night before heading out and locating your couple of friends' car.

Getting into the backseat, your hands touched Sunghoon and Kasey's shoulders respectively.

"So..." the guy who was driving gave you a sideways glance, smiling at you "Ready for tonight?"

"I don't know where you guys are taking me, but I think I'm ready" your answer made them both laugh, along with Kasey making sure you loved the place.

You couldn't deny a huge chill in your stomach, even though you knew neither of them would let you down with the surprise. Kasey was a great thinking mind, while Sunghoon executed the whole plan of the crazy outings you all had. That's how it worked. But this time, you being a mere guinea pig for the Friday night surprise made you even more excited. Because what were they up to, anyway? That they hadn't told you anything at all since you got a text a few hours ago?

Please let it be nice, you thought, clutching even tighter to the leather of your jacket and settling comfortably in the back seat of the car as Sunghoon began to drive away, guided by the lights of the night city.

The reddish lights of the poorly placed sign flashed right in front of you. You, clinging to Kasey's arm, stared at the place with a long sigh coming out of your lips. Sure, you'd watched boxing matches on television and even bought tickets to one on some vacation trip to the States. But it never, ever crossed your mind to be in a giant shed, people back and forth as the words slowly came out of Kasey's mouth.

"Can we call it an underground fight?" from the look Sunghoon gave her, that was the name of what was going on.

Maybe because of the lack of regulations and because none of the fighters were, in fact, professionals, they were just there for the money and the numerous bets that were going on. You recognized this by the stand that was set up right next to the small staircase where there was a makeshift grandstand. Men of all shapes and sizes bet on so many names that you could not identify anything that came out of their mouths. A few women who were there, with fewer clothes than you were wearing, waved and greeted you and Kasey even though they didn't know each other. Maybe a brief recognition that you were the only one there among so many men, besides the others in their bikini tops who were standing in the middle of the fighting ring just waiting for it all to start.

Sunghoon approached with a smile on his lips, both hands carrying glasses that surely contained some drink for you to savor while you were there.

"So, did you like it?" he asked after handing you a glass. It was so full that you decided to share it with Kasey, it was still too early to drink so much.

"It's different" you said, smiling as you drank some of the beer and handed it to your friend "Is that really not dangerous?"

"Look, y/n is scared?" Kasey joked before sipping on the same glass as you "But… I don't think so, do you, love?" she looked at Sunghoon.

For a few seconds, he decided to stay quiet, just looking around trying to find words that could comfort you or make you less tense. Because he knew that's exactly what was happening, just like it happened to Kasey when he told her.

"They're used to it, y/n. But inside there's everything they need in case they get hurt" Sunghoon pointed to the left corner, it looked like a dressing room of sorts and his smile widened when a tall man appeared in the doorway and waved at him, beckoning him in "Come, I want you to meet my friend."

"He's hot" Kasey whispered to you.

"I heard that!" Sunghoon shouted loud enough, making you both laugh as he intertwined his fingers with Kasey's, and she raised her other arm for you to hold fearing she'd lose you in the crowd.

Passing by the one you were referred to, it seemed to be a bit quieter there. The flow of people was much smaller compared to outside. The voices were loud and fast, but there was no danger of bumping into anyone and so you managed to get a little free from Kasey's arm to give her and Sunghoon more privacy as they walked a little further ahead.

Through the dark corridor you were now passing, your best friend stopped in front of the black door and gave a quick knock before entering, without waiting for a confirmation.

"I can't believe you came" the amused voice greeted him, and Sunghoon was soon laughing as he let go of Kasey's hand to enter first and hug the man.

Your friend looked at you and winked in your direction, maybe that boy was the handsome one she had told you about, but his face was still a mystery because the hug lasted so long. It looked like he and Sunghoon hadn't seen each other in years.

"Did you think I would lose your fight today?" shit, Sunghoon's friend is a fighter, you almost yelled at that. Sighing, soon Kasey's voice greeted him and she hugged him too. The man's laugh was as infectious as your best friend's who was laughing at some comment he had made before releasing Kasey from the hug.

And last but not least, you. Your gaze finally caught the really handsome guy in front of you. Was he hot? For God's sake, Kasey lied, he looked like a Greek God. Well-drawn lips, a pointed nose, and an extremely lined, pearly, beautiful smile. Those teeth could reflect all the light in the room if it wasn't for the lamp that illuminated all of you.

"Heeseung, this is y/n, my best friend" Sunghoon introduced you. You smiled at him the same way he smiled at you, nodding and walking the steps that separated the two of you to hold his hand "Y/n, this is Heeseung. My best friend and coworker."

Your brow furrowed briefly and it didn't go unnoticed by either of them, making Heeseung chuckle some more before letting go of your hand.

"This fighting thing is secondary" he explained afterward "Sunghoon is not part of it."

"Not directly" he held his friend by the shoulders before he pulled him away from you to sit him back down in his chair.

Surely Sunghoon would have to explain to you a bit more about that because it was quite confusing, and looking at Kasey, you realized that that information had also been told to her not too long ago. Judging by the way she was sitting on the small couch staring at the two men who were talking non-stop.

"So" Heeseung's voice cut off the moment you were about to start a conversation with Kasey, making you both look at him "Where's your boyfriend, y/n?"

Boyfriend? You frowned again, so confused by the sudden question coming from him. Your eyes searched for Sunghoon who let out a small sigh, nibbling his lip as if he already knew what was coming.

"I… I don't have a boyfriend" you smiled and this time your action didn't mirror Heeseung. There was a frown on his face and the countenance that was once so cheerful was now so closed and nervous.

You almost felt guilty for telling the truth, why was it so bad not having a boyfriend? Was it a sin for you to be single? Your mouth opened to say something, but he looked away from you before he even let you continue.

"What was our deal, bro?" Heeseung stared at Sunghoon, still frowning and even more serious, if that was possible.

"Relax, it's just a night of fun" he explained.

"No, it's not" Heeseung got up from his chair and walked towards you, stopping a considerable distance away from you from Kasey "You need to go home, y/n."

"What? Why?" as a reflex to his actions, you got up from the couch and stood in front of him, the same distance he was keeping from you.

"Hey Heeseung, it's okay. She'll be with me and Hoon…" Kasey smiled without showing her teeth, seeing that even that hadn't disarmed the boy.

Heeseung gave up trying to say anything and walked over to Sunghoon without saying a word. He looked at the door just as there was a knock and his name was called, indicating that the fight was about to begin.

"Don't do that anymore, that wasn't our deal" he touched Sunghoon's shoulder before grabbing the bandages and gloves he always wore. Taking one last look at you, Heeseung left the room and slammed the door as hard as he could.

"What the fuck was that?" Kasey sighed and you let out all the breath you didn't know you were holding until the moment.

Your eyes stung a little, but what was the reason you would cry anyway? Trying to take a deep breath and contain it, you looked at Sunghoon for some bigger explanation.

"Do you have anything to tell us?" his girlfriend insisted, knowing that you wouldn't say anything else for a good while while you were still recovering.

Sunghoon was quiet for a good few minutes, just the sound of people passing back and forth outside the room. Someone had come in to get something Heeseung had forgotten, and as soon as he left, something dawned on the boy who had stayed there with you two.

"Just… Give Heeseung a break, okay?" he tried to explain, giving a smile so loose that neither you nor Kasey seemed to believe it.

That wouldn't be much more than an answer, so you decided to accept it and get it over with. Hoping so hard to be able to go home because that place was already getting exhausting for you.

Unfortunately, or not, Heeseung was a very good fighter. If you told him that he would take it up as a real profession, it would not go unnoticed. Or if you hadn't heard it come out of his mouth that it was secondary, like a hobby, you would never believe it.

He had precise blows, a cheeky grin on his face every time he hit his opponent. When someone hit him, the most he would get from Heeseung was a bit of spitting on the ground and jeering, before he would practically finish off his opponent in minutes.

"Round three" the man shouted from the middle of the ring. Even though he didn't need to, Heeseung seemed to accept while the other fighter had also agreed.

Taking a seat on the bench in the corner of the ring, he listened intently to the instructions of an older, fat, sweaty man. The towel he carried on his shoulders was so dirty that you could hardly believe it when Heeseung accepted it to wipe his forehead. He needs to take a shower urgently, your mind screamed as soon as the boy returned the towel.

When they gave the signal for the fight to resume, a girl – typical of wrestling – walked by in extremely short clothes into the ring. Whistles and cheers were heard throughout the venue. You held back your laughter when you saw Kasey almost shoot Sunghoon with her eyes, him staring at her for the entire moment until the woman disappeared from his field of vision and left the venue to the fighters alone.

"Come on, Hee! You already won!" Sunghoon shouted to his friend, encouraging him as he always did.

When he stood up from his seat, Heeseung looked at Sunghoon and smiled broadly, or as much as his mouthguard let him do. But as soon as his eyes traveled down Sunghoon's side, stopping directly at you, his smile fell. It was as if there was something about Heeseung that he just couldn't look at you with a smile.

The boy decided to ignore that and turn his attention back to the fight, adjusting his gloves and focusing any and all attention on the man in front of him.

It wasn't that hard to know that, with a few more blows, Heeseung had been named the winner. Bettors celebrated the boy's victory, while others who had bet on the loser, lamented the money they would have to pay.

All for the sake of entertainment. All for the sake of the underground fight that Heeseung loved, because he knew that at the end of the night, the money he would win would be more than enough not to step foot in there for a few weeks.

"Let's go find him" Sunghoon whispered to Kasey, seeing that she stared in your direction with his words even if you weren't hearing very well because of the distance between the two "I promise Heeseung won't say anything to y/n now."

"If he does, he and y/n can discuss" Kasey whispered back, but she let her boyfriend lead the way as the three of you made your way back to the less crowded part of the shed.

Where you, strangely, felt it was best. Even if it meant being in the same room as Heeseung for a few minutes.

Like the first time you were there, Sunghoon entered first and as soon as you entered, the room was not silent. Three more people besides you, your friends, and Heeseung were there. All men excitedly handed several wadded-up notes of money to the newly crowned champion of the fight. Heeseung was sweaty and panting, but he had such a bright smile on his face that you held back the urge to make a vomiting noise when you remembered that he had smiled like that before he was a complete asshole to you.

"Tonight was awesome, man" the gray-haired boy ruffled Heeseung's hair, taking a few steps away and stuffing the money bills into a plastic bag "When are you coming back to fight?"

Heeseung sighed loudly, taking the bag and putting it inside a bag that was probably his.

"Maybe in two weeks, or three" he closed the bag "With this amount I can go almost a month without showing up here."

"Really, tonight was the highest of the month" another man celebrated "You deserve it, man. I think it's good to get some rest too, you've worked hard."

"Thank you" Heeseung thanked and greeted the men before they left.

When he heard Sunghoon's voice congratulating him, he was still smiling, even looking through the reflection of the small mirror in front of him and looking straight at you. Replying to Sunghoon that he could have a few weekends like a normal person, without fighting or having cuts all over his face, Heeseung's gaze had never left you at any point.

And the strangest thing was that you couldn't stop looking at him either. It was as if you tried to look away, but half a second later and your eyes would go back to his reflection.

"And you're still here?" he finally turned around, finishing what he was doing and looking at you properly now.

You noticed the movement of Sunghoon and Kasey as if they had foreseen what was coming.

"Should I have left?" your tone of voice was the same as his, only a little lower for the distance you were standing. Heeseung snorted.

"Should have" how audacious, you wanted to mentally curse him for that "This place isn't for you."

"Of course. You should know a good place for me since you don't even know me."

"I know enough to know it was a mistake for Sunghoon to bring you here."

That hurt. In such a ridiculous way because Heeseung was a stranger to you, so why had his words hit you hard? Why, again, had your eyes started to sting and you were seeing everything in a blur?

"You're shit, Heeseung," your words came out so desperately that he didn't even care to hear them. It was as if the boy was used to being called that, but his Adam's apple shook hard at the way he swallowed dry. Why had he swallowed dry with you calling him that?

"Y/n…" Sunghoon called out to you, but not in time to get you trapped inside the room, because you had already left.

You could have also heard wrong, but Heeseung also called your name. Or was it your crazy head because your steps were so fast that you didn't want to go back?

Your gaze blurs more and more as you passed people, hearing shouts of another fight breaking out. You just wanted to leave.

Without difficulty finding the exit, you were already outside that shed breathing the cold air of the streets that embraced your body. And for some time afterwards, you let the tears fall on your cheeks.

"Y/n… Hey, sweet" you sniffled loudly at Kasey's voice right behind you, wiping your face ever so quickly. But to no avail, it was impossible to hide anything from your best friend.

She turned you around and hugged you slowly, stroking your hair and kissing your cheek.

"Let's go home, please?" you asked in a whisper, holding yourself back from crying again.

"Come on" she said "By the way, can I sleep in your apartment?"

"Why?"

She lifted her head to look at you, eyes reddened just like yours. Shit… Had she cried too?

"Sunghoon and I had a fight because…"

"Because of me?" a pout formed on your lips, you wanted to cry again because that had never happened before. And it was something you dreaded, having your best friends fight over you.

"Also, but—" she sighed, squeezing your cheeks and placing a kiss on your forehead before pulling away from you to hug you from the side "He and Heeseung have some deal that Sunghoon didn't tell me about. And if they treat my best friend like that, I'll fight."

You looked at her beside you, laying your head on her shoulder as she laid her head on yours. Both of you in that position for so long that you had lost count of how many people had passed by or how many people had left disappointed at losing a fight.

"Let's go home. There's a lot of goodies we need to eat in my closet" you broke the silence, hearing her giggle right after.

You sighed wistfully as Kasey walked through your apartment door holding another bouquet in her hand.

"From Sunghoon again?" you held back a laugh as she agreed, kicking off her shoes to head to the kitchen.

Unhurriedly, your steps followed your best friend as you watched her search for a pot big enough to fit the new plants she received.

"With another regret card, this time I almost gave in" she pouted as she placed the flowers into the water, setting the makeshift pot on the kitchen counter.

Almost two weeks she decided to stay with you in your apartment until she forgave her boyfriend for feeling bad about the last fight. You asked her to stay as long as she needed, perhaps feeling less guilty for still thinking it was all because of you.

"Why don't you talk to him? I think Sunghoon already got what he deserved."

"I'm still upset about the last time we talked, he wouldn't tell me and even allowed Heeseung to talk to you like that" she pulled you into the living room without much difficulty, you wanted to go back there anyway and continue your cooking program before taking a long shower to make dinner.

Taking a seat on the couch, Kasey joined you in watching the show as she laid her head on your lap. You decided to end it there, after all, it was between the two of you and you had tried everything to get them talking again in that time. Even though you didn't respond so well to Sunghoon's messages, because you were upset with him too. But you wanted the good of your two best friends, so giving in was a good thing.

What if I text him now? You thought. After a few hours of watching television, Kasey had taken a short nap on your lap. Breathing quietly with his hand still petting her hair.

With your free hand, you reached out far enough to reach your cell phone and go to Sunghoon's chat. But before you could type anything, your best friend's number was calling you.

Was it a sign, perhaps? He wanted to talk too and that could be good. Or not. You didn't know it, but you answered quickly hearing the noise on the other end of the phone.

"Sunghoon?" you asked as soon as you got no answer, not even a hello from the other end.

"Oh, she answered… Y/n? It's Jake."

"Jake!" you smiled into the handset even though no one could see it, not even Kasey who was still sleeping on your lap "What's that noise?"

"We came to a bar after work" you heard him gasp as he walked to a less noisy place. Maybe he was heading outside the establishment "But some things… Well… Didn't work out so well."

You could swear he was smiling shyly now as if he had done something wrong. Your mind wandered to the first time you met him when Sunghoon introduced his coworkers. Jake was so energetic and funny, and he gave such a shy smile when he broke one of the cups at Jay's house. Maybe it was that smile he was giving now.

"Tell me what happened, please…" you stirred a little, praying that your friend wouldn't wake up. And it had worked. You managed to get up from the couch and walk to the kitchen.

"Jake? What are you doing, man? Give me my cell phone back!" it was Sunghoon, and judging by his slurred voice, the boy was drunk.

"Be quiet and go with Sunoo, he needs to clean that cut."

"Cut?" for a second your voice came out so loud that, with Kasey's words on the couch, now your best friend was awake and Jake was regretting having scared you that much.

"Okay, okay. Sorry y/n. Can you… Can you…"

"Y/n? Did you call her?" Sunghoon picked up the phone under Jake's protests, taking the lead to talk to you "I know you're mad at me and Heeseung and we don't blame you" why is he talking about Heeseung out of nowhere? You hadn't even mentioned his name "But please don't kill us today."

"Kill you? What happened?"

"I guess being away from Kasey made me mad" he huffed, you thought that probably at that moment Sunghoon was playing with his own feet for being embarrassed about what he was going to say next "They bumped into me, I got into a fight and… Well…"

He went quiet and so did Jake. For a moment you pulled your cell phone away from your face to see if the call was still going on.

"Sunghoon?"

"Come pick us up, please?" he asked in a whispery tone, almost afraid someone would hear him.

"Okay, give me the address, we'll be there in a few minutes" your gaze quickly traveled to Kasey's drowsy figure, which was slowly waking up at the sight of her face.

She knew something was up, and you took a deep breath as Sunghoon passed you the phone so Jake could give you the address.

You knew where it was, so it would be easier to locate as you hung up the phone.

"Did something happen?" Kasey yawned.

"We need to go out and get the boys, I need you to come with me" you were so quick to deflect her questions, after all, you didn't have much time and she could see for herself. You didn't know much either.

Other than enough said by Jake and the mumblings of a drunk Sunghoon. You just mentally prayed that nothing that serious had happened, even if your trembling hands on the steering wheel of the car told you otherwise.

The nightclub was full and you didn't feel intimidated by the stares, because all the women were very well dressed and you were… in a sweatshirt. There was no time to change and even Kasey couldn't get out of her work clothes, because as soon as you said Sunghoon and cut in the same sentence, she just put on her shoes and ran with you wherever you went.

Disengaging from some people, apologizing to others for rushing through and getting to the other side of the club, you and your best friend finally reached the bar. The meeting point where Jake had texted you, and luckily, he had just arrived too.

"Thank God!" his sigh of relief was mirrored by the two of you, quickly hugging you on either side "Sunoo and I were the only ones in favor of calling you two" he looked at you and then at Kasey, smiling sincerely at the presence of the two of you there.

While he kept up a casual conversation, trying to distract them until they got to the back of the club, they both answered everything without much excitement, not least because the focus was on finding the boys who – possibly – were hurt. Sunghoon had a cut somewhere, that was the only information they had.

"The security guard let us stay here until you two arrived" Jake stopped in front of the door, it looked like a private room.

"Was it that bad?" Kasey tried not to look so desperate when Jake didn't answer with words, he just shrugged and sighed before walking in, being followed by her and then you.

The room was well lit and the table had only bottles of water on it, which made you feel more relieved. No alcohol, they had taken a break to recover.

Your gaze wandered around the people, stopping on Sunoo who was trying, uselessly, to make Sunghoon sit still while he cleaned the famous cut. It was on his lower lip and that could only have been caused by someone.

"Who did you fight with, Park Sunghoon?" your friend's voice caught the attention of all of them inside that room. So far no one had noticed the presence of the newcomers.

Sunghoon almost fell when he got up from the sofa if it wasn't for Sunoo who held him as soon as it happened.

"Kasey? Baby" he pouted, almost crying with the pain it caused him that his lip was bruised. Sunoo let go of him as her best friend reached for him, feeling his arms wrap around her.

"What happened?" he smothered her in a tight hug, saying anything you could at least hear. Paying attention to the two of them was funny, because in years of relationship, maybe that had been the most serious fight you've witnessed from them.

And it was weird, you couldn't deny it.

Your eyes went to Sunoo, smiling in appreciation for taking care of Sunghoon so well. Or at least trying to. And quickly a gaze ran to the other side of the room, stopping immediately on Heeseung.

He also seemed to have a cut, but he was located on his eyebrow. He had never looked away from you since you had entered that room, and judging by the way Jake put his hands on your back, pushing you towards him, it was your turn to go talk to the boy.

"Not me."

There was no denying that Jake was stronger, and this battle for breaking free from his hands to Heeseung would be a defeat. So you just accepted it and stopped in front of the boy.

"I'll help Sunoo and tell the security guard we can go now" Jake whispered to you, looking at Heeseung and flashing a smile "Behave yourself and be civilized this time."

"Okay, daddy Jake."

"Ew, gross. Don't call me that!" Jake flicked his middle finger at Heeseung and left, walking with Sunoo out of the room and leaving just the four of you there.

You wanted some sign of Kasey and Sunghoon, but their conversation seemed far more interesting than looking in your direction and answering the thousands of questions forming in your mind. Like, for example, why were you here with Heeseung? Sunoo could have looked after him or the boys could have told you what to say to the security guard and you would have gone there. Not standing there to look after someone who had been ridiculous to you.

"I think I can hear your neurons frying from here" Heeseung's voice invaded your ears and you sighed loudly, but not loud enough for him to hear since the music from the whole club was still invading every corner of the place. You turned towards him and tried not to express any reaction to that.

In vain. When he quickly grabbed your hands and forced his weight to stand up, getting only a few centimeters away from your body.

"Sorry, when I get drunk I can't… I…" his gaze was restless, paying attention to every little detail of your face. Whether it was your wide eyes and curiosity about his next move, or even your ajar, reddened lips that Heeseung swore he didn't want to see so closely or he might lose control.

"Heeseung, Sunghoon" Sunoo called out to his friends at the same moment Heeseung shook his hand. You let all the air out of your lungs when everyone inside that room paid attention to the newly arrived boy "Let's go out, I think y/n parked the car near ours. It won't be a problem for us to leave."

You all agreed and Sunoo guided Kasey, who had Sunghoon's arms around his body so he wouldn't stagger as he left. You wished you didn't have to think about it, but it was impossible at the same moment as Heeseung's hands gripped your shoulders.

"Can I hold on to you? I don't want to fall halfway," his voice whispered between your hair, close to your ear. And that damn shiver went through your whole body.

If he wasn't drunk, you could have sworn it was some kind of tease on his part. But without much thought one of your hands went to meet his on your shoulder, intertwining your fingers a little too tightly to hold him back.

"Be careful, Heeseung" you said, not knowing if he heard or not. You just wanted to get out of there and you did.

Walking out of the club with Sunoo in front to guide the way while Jake helped Kasey and Sunghoon.

Without much delay you reached the outside, you had indeed parked your car near the boys' car. Strategically or not, maybe out of sheer desperation to just get there and find them, but at least it had worked out.

"Okay, someone needs to take Heeseung's car. He won't drive like this" Sunoo held up the keys between his fingers.

"Hey, there's my keys" he grumbled, dropping your shoulders to stagger over to Sunoo. Unsuccessful in picking up his car keys, he was without a shred of reflex due to his drinking.

"And I came with him" Sunghoon whined softly, laying his head on Kasey's shoulder for a few seconds, but quickly getting up "I had an idea!"

"Oh shit, should we worry?" Jake asked amused, eliciting a small laugh from the group for the first time all night.

Sunghoon decided to ignore the joke made to him, looking at each of the people there until his eyes stopped on Heeseung.

"You knew that y/n did a few semesters of medicine, right?" you frowned at that question, after all, how relevant could it be since it had nothing to do with the subject.

"Yeah, we talked about it that day" Heeseung agreed.

"What? Did you talk about me?" you almost shouted, startling the two drunken chatters. Jake and Sunoo decided to turn their attention to their cell phones, talking to their girlfriends to give them the news that everything was okay later in the evening. Meanwhile, Sunghoon and Heeseung ignored – or tried to ignore – their questions and focused on the small talk they were having.

"She can take care of your cuts and take you home."

If your life were a cartoon, your eyes would pop out of their orbs the moment you rolled them. How could Sunghoon think such a thing? And how Jake was laughing at that situation so unpretentiously while you denied it with several nods.

"Sunghoon, what are you doing?" Kasey asked in a whisper.

"Helping my friend, I want to make amends with both of them" but his answer had been loud enough, and your eyes remained wide.

Jake, realizing that nothing would come out of his mouth and that Heeseung would not answer anything either, decided to intervene.

"Y/n, I think Sunghoon meant that you can take good care of Heeseung's cuts" he said low, just for you to hear since Sunoo, at that moment, was talking to Heeseung. Gave some guidance because he couldn't drive in that state "He cares the least about it and we're afraid it might get infected."

"I don't— Jake!" you whined.

"It's all right. Anything you can call me, you know" he touched your shoulder with him in a subtle motion "I live two streets away from Heeseung's apartment. If he's an asshole, you can yell."

It was just saying no. Just deny it and say that someone else could take such good care of his cuts other than you, not least because your medical school had been a long time coming. But of course, that first aid part hadn't been forgotten by you.

Shit, shit, shit. Why was no denial of any kind going on in your mind? Why were you walking towards Sunoo and reaching out to take the keys to Heeseung's car? Why were you handing your car keys to Kasey?

"Take care of my baby, please" you said to your best friend as the metal of the keys slipped out of your fingers and into hers.

"I will" she smiled, feeling Sunghoon's arms go away from her body so he could walk over to you and hug you.

"You're the best friend in the whole universe, I swear" Sunghoon whispered as he hugged you tightly. You, returning the hug, smiled as he kissed the top of your head before slowly pulling away "Take care of him for me because I know he'll take care of you."

"Okay, mister drunk" your smile made him smile too, and meanwhile, you clutched Heeseung's keys between your fingers and turned to him.

Without saying a single word, the boy pointed to the dark car in the row of a few cars a little further away. Then it was just a matter of saying goodbye to your friends and getting out. And so you did.

Greeting one by one until there was no one left, you let Heeseung lead the way, hoping he wouldn't trip or hurt himself on the way to the car. Safe and sound, he leaned against the passenger door and smiled without showing his teeth, indicating that it was that vehicle that would take you both away.

You unlocked it, got in, and were followed by him until you both closed the door for good.

"I need your address now" you said.

He just agreed, saying he would drive you to his apartment. As you started the car, your attention was always on the road, afraid to look away from him. But that didn't stop Heeseung from looking at you.

And he knows he did it all the way to his apartment. Without regretting it for a second.

Heeseung let you rummage through the bathroom cabinet when you said the first aid kit was in there. Complying with your requests, he walked to the kitchen and drank at least two full glasses of water in an attempt to relieve the drunkenness – which had been leaving his body since the moment he got into the car with you. This time, pulling up a chair to sit near the table, the young man waited patiently until you returned. Or he thought he was patient, faltering the second you walked through the kitchen door.

Under the bright light of the kitchen Heeseung could swear that your skin glowed something completely different than he had ever seen in his entire life. Your face was so focused on the small briefcase and some tape in your other hand, that he sighed when he saw a small pout forming on your lips.

"I already washed my hands, okay?" your voice was low due to your proximity to him, placing the case on the table behind Heeseung. He straightened up in the chair and, as if by automatic, his legs opened for you to fit your body in there.

Your gaze fell on Heeseung's legs, hesitating whether or not to stay there, but it was the only way. The only right way to be so close so you could clean that cut with the almost dried blood.

Tidying his hair so that no strands remained in front of his face, he slowly slid between his legs to stand there, a few centimeters from Heeseung's body that was sitting almost static in front of you. He closed his eyes as soon as he saw you pick up the cotton and pour something in, feeling the icy material against his skin.

"What…"

"I'm cleaning it" you kept talking quietly, sometimes making your breath hitch against his skin "You were sweaty and it was open for a long time, we don't know what's in there."

He murmured in agreement, continuing to keep his eyes closed and not catching any moment of your care. Only occasionally feeling your fingers against his hair to push it away from his face. Or when the absorbent cotton slipped out of your hands, or even when you wiped away some of the contents you had used to clean up and it was dripping, almost going onto his cheek.

"Heeseung?" you called him after a few minutes.

"Yeah…" he opened his eyes, meeting yours that was already looking at him in anticipation. A small smile formed on his lips and Heeseung didn't know why he smiled back at that.

"This might sting a bit" he rolled his eyes down his hands, seeing a small bottle there. Surely he had bought it at the insistence of his coworkers, after all, Heeseung had no idea how to heal a wound. In all of his – occasioned by fighting – Heeseung always had someone in the ring who did it for him, so worrying about taking care of it wasn't his area.

"You know y/n, you don't have to—"

"I do, you won't get it without some medicine" your scolding made him go quiet, realizing that had shut Heeseung up, so you continued "You can squeeze me or ask me to stop if it stings unbearably, okay?"

Without a single word, he just agreed, thinking it was a complete exaggeration. Especially since he fought practically all the time, he had already been beaten up a lot and had many cuts on his face, why would it burn so much that he would do those things?

"Fuck" Heeseung almost screamed when he felt his skin burn and the pressure of your fingers with the cotton from the cut.

In the same second, he grabbed your waist, his strong hands squeezing your shirt and consequently pulling your body closer to him. It made you completely hug Heeseung. And he didn't seem to notice, not even for a moment as he still held himself tightly against you.

Your breathing faltered for a few seconds, the closeness to him making you inhale the scent he had. The musk of his fragrance entered your nostrils as you closed your eyes momentarily and opened them, focusing on the care while Heeseung still kept his hands on your waist.

"It's okay, you can let me go now" you whispered as you took the cotton with the medicine, discarding it just like the other materials you used to clean his wound.

"Shit, I'm sorry" realizing what he had done as soon as he opened his eyes, Heeseung released his hands from your waist, remaining seated.

You didn't say anything else as you put away every single thing you used, throwing what you needed in the trash and going back to grab your kit bag. Your walk back to the bathroom was longer because your steps seemed slower and your thoughts traveled to Heeseung's fingers against your body. As he walked out of the kitchen in the same slow steps, processing what had just happened.

It wouldn't be a big deal that touches because he actually felt pain and your body was the only tangible thing in front of him. But why did Heeseung's fingers tingle? Why did he want more of that contact?

"Okay, your stuff is already put away" your voice snapped him out of his reveries, making the boy stare at you a little dazed by the whole situation.

"Thank you" he tried to smile knowing that it had looked more like a grimace because you laughed softly as you searched for the things that you had left on the couch "Hey, where are you going?"

"Home…?" your lips pressed together, preventing any expression from being used as you held up your cell phone and the cold sweater you had put there when you arrived.

"No, you can stay."

"Heeseung, I—"

"Seriously y/n, I insist" he interrupted you, swallowing dryly when he saw a glimpse of hesitation in you, almost dropping your phone in it's place "It's the least I can do after you took care of it" he pointed to the cut that no longer bled "And you can rest assured, I like sleeping on my couch."

"No… Not really" you tried to protest.

"I'll be right back" with an overwhelming stubbornness, Heeseung disappeared down the hallway of the apartment, making you snort and not giving you a chance to answer anything.

He didn't take long, but it felt like an eternity to you when he came back with some blankets and pillows in his arms, throwing everything on one of the armchairs.

"I'm not very tidy with things, but I promise my bed is a clean and safe place" he smiled, running one of his hands over the back of his neck quickly. Heeseung was at a loss and didn't know how to act from then on "You can sleep there tonight, I'll take you home as soon as we wake up."

You had nothing else to say but accept the offer. Leaving at that hour from Heeseung's apartment wasn't a smart thing to do, taking an app car wasn't very safe either. And Jake had probably already gone to sleep, you didn't want to bother him, even if the boy lived a few minutes away.

"Thanks, Heeseung" was the only thing you managed to say before approaching him and touching both of his hands. Slowly brushing your thumb across the back of his hand, an intimate and quick act, before letting go of his hand and smiling once more. You said your goodbyes and headed down the hallway to the bedrooms, running into his room as your cheeks began to heat up.

Meanwhile, slumped on the huge sofa, Heeseung felt a tingle in his hand again. But this time, a huge smile was on his lips, and now he could tell why this time.

You didn't know you would miss waking up to the smell of Heeseung. Even though it had only been a few days since you had slept over at his place, with him dropping you off at your apartment door, it was getting more and more confusing. Why couldn't you just stop thinking about him? After all, Heeseung had been a asshole, he'd only been nice out of courtesy and because you'd taken care of his cut, nothing could be fairer.

But no. He had a way of ruining all the thoughts and strategies you yourself had devised to ward off anything related to him.

Hearing the doorbell ring relentlessly, you huffed and walked lazily to the door, balancing your coffee mug as you let your hair down from the grueling day you had at work.

"I hope you haven't forgotten anything here at all, Kasey."

"Maybe Sunghoon can get it for her later" Heeseung's voice almost made you knock over all the coffee you were drinking. Your eyes widened at the sudden appearance and the words had simply vanished from your mind, as if you had unlearned how to speak.

"What… What are you doing here?" shit, you wanted to scream, why were you stuttering in front of him?

"Can I come in?"

No.

"Yes, come in" you said, completely betraying your brain from barring you while there was time.

After entering your apartment, Heeseung walked shyly to the center of your living room with you trailing behind, admiring every detail in it.

"Sorry to come unannounced, but…" he stopped looking at your wall decorations, turning around and facing you "Sunghoon said it was either this, or you wouldn't answer any of my messages."

"Why?" you asked.

"Because maybe he let it slip that you've already called me every possible name" he shrugged, not seeming the least bit affected by it. You could feel your cheeks burning, and from the embarrassed look on your face, Heeseung managed to smile.

"Well… I had reasons" your coffee mug rested on the coffee table as you approached him, crossing your arms in front of your chest as Heeseung held out his hands. A bag dangled from your fingers and you glanced at it quickly, letting out a laugh afterward.

"Accept my apology, please" you took the package and then bluntly took it from there.

The bottle of wine looked expensive enough that you never thought of buying it. It was the kind of gift that only your best friends would give because it never seemed to cross your mind to spend something like that.

"Heeseung" his name came out of your lips like a little melody, and he loved it.

"I didn't know if you liked flowers or chocolates" he whispered "But Sunghoon always comments on how you and Kasey go out drinking, I just figured."

"Thank you" that had been so cute that the pout on your lips made him sigh, and he didn't care that you had heard.

"It was for fight day, actually."

"What?"

He was quiet for the briefest of seconds, waiting for you to put the bottle of wine away somewhere appropriate that you could use later or whenever you pleased. As soon as you approached him again, Heeseung nibbled on his bottom lip as he rambled on about how to tell you about it.

"Ever since I started this thing, me and the boys have had an agreement" the agreement that neither you nor Kasey knew about, so you just nodded because he had to keep talking. And because you were too curious to say anything "We don't take any kind of unaccompanied girl to the fight."

"Why?" Heeseung pondered whether or not to continue, but he had already gotten that far. If he turned back, you'd surely get even angrier and never see him in front of you again.

"I've been around this shit long enough to see what the guys are capable of over there, y/n" he had a serious tone, but he didn't sound angry at all. Just emphasizing that the subject wasn't any kind of joke "I've lost count of how many times I've heard absurdities from the guys there and what they did with any girl who stepped in that place" he made a disgusted face, recalling facts and even stories that the men told.

It was stomach-churning and Heeseung would spare you any details, telling you only what was necessary to get the matter over with.

"So I made a deal with them about it, that they could only take some girl if she was accompanied" finally, Heeseung didn't know he had gotten so close to you while telling that story. Looking into your eyes when he was finally a few centimeters away from you.

"That's why you asked if I had a boyfriend?" your voice almost faltered from lack of use, watching him slowly agree.

"I was so mad at Sunghoon for breaking our agreement that I ended up taking it out on you, so for that I'm sorry" Heeseung's hand touched your arm, causing you to undo their crisscross so he could hold your hand and intertwine your fingers in his.

"It's okay, you had a good reason. You could have just said it instead of being an asshole to me."

"I know that, that's why I want to make amends" Heeseung slowly squeezed your fingers in his, staring at their joined hands as he looked back up at your face.

"How?"

"By inviting you to my next fight this weekend" he smiled when he saw your face contort in confusion.

Why would Heeseung call you to the place where he said all sorts of things happened and, on top of that, have the first fight that made you hate him – not at the moment – but you didn't want to admit it.

"For you to fight me again for being alone there?" your question made him laugh, Heeseung knew he wouldn't get a different answer than that. And he expected it, so his next move had been almost calculated.

Closing the small distance between you two, he let you feel the small pressure of his body against yours. One of his hands ran down to your waist, the first place he touched you.

"No" Heeseung's voice was so low it was only audible because of proximity as he lowered his neck enough to let his face close to yours "Because you'll be with me."

"But you're going to fight" you said as the tip of his nose touched yours, a small sigh leaving your lips at the contact.

"Exactly" he whispered "I'll be watching you the whole time" Heeseung squeezed your waist, still whispering every word as he brushed his lips against yours "And it was nice to have your eyes on me while I was in the ring, you know?"

"Really?" you remembered the small exchange of glances between the two of you when it all went down, thankful that now you both had your eyes closed so he wouldn't notice the blush on your cheeks.

"Really, because it motivated me in a way."

"How?"

"On the one hand I was mad that you didn't have a boyfriend and were alone there" Heeseung touched his lips to yours, the softness almost making you cry out. He chuckled softly, the vibration going straight to his mouth because of how close the two of you were "On the other hand I felt relieved, so I have an excuse to call you to my fights."

"I guess I can accept that."

He wasn't sure if the answer was from your sentence or the way his lips were still lingering on yours. Heeseung was going to take that as an answer to both thoughts, getting carried away with the fact that now you would go with him to the fights and finally get to taste your lips on his.

#heeseung angst #enhanet #hyfenet #heeseung fluff #lee heeseung fluff #lee heeseung angst #enhypen angst #enhypen fluff #enhypen masterlist #enhypen x reader #heeseung x reader #lee heeseung x reader #enhypen heeseung #enhypen au #enhypen scenarios #enhypen imagines #bay writes.

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lumosinlove · 10 months

Text

Vaincre

June part i

Hope you all enjoy! Maybe all of Finn's superstitions in this chapter can go towards helping me beat this cold I've got...

Also, it's beginning to look a lot like ficmas...doo doo doo doo doo...:)

Ain’t it funny how I’ve wanted this all my life?

It started with a no look pass. That’s when Remus felt the buzz. Sirius had nearly put one in from James, who had kept his eyes straight ahead, drawing Saint’s attention. And it had almost worked. At least it had brought the promising feeling of a win. The click of the team. Remus shouldn’t be thinking like that. They were six minutes away from the first period's horn and this game changed at the drop of a hat. Logan had collided with Kota at one point, and there was something there now. Quiet hostility. A they were mine first type of deal. Remus could see it all over Logan’s face, no matter how much Kota loomed over him.

Now the Rangers had a high sticking penalty. Remus took his mouth guard out as the whistle blew and shoved it into his glove. Sirius was on the other side of the ice, on the tail of one of the referees and talking a mile a minute, gesturing to James and his bloody lip. There was a kid at the glass just behind him with a sign that said Nuts for Knutty! and he was still clutching the puck Leo had thrown him earlier. Remus almost wished the game would just pause for a moment so he could take it in properly. If this was to be the last game of his first season in the NHL, he wanted to remember it.

“Ouch,” Remus said to James as they circled close for the face-off.

“You bet,” James said, dabbing at his mouth.

Coach kept him on for the penalty kill. Sirius faced off against Zibanejad and Remus darted backwards when he won it. It had that game six feeling: All of them just wanting it to be over already, the slog of knowing that, if the Lions wanted it to go their way, they had one more full game stretch after this one to push through. Maybe more. Play-offs meant there was no over-time, and no shoot-out, just endless periods until someone gave in.

The puck was stuck in their zone and Thomas was beginning to look gassed. Kasey was up in the net, shifting with every ebb and flow of the Rangers’ passing. Remus poked the puck out from Kakko’s grasp and hoped it was clean—he’d nearly felt like he’d hooked it, but the whistle didn’t go. He managed to get it out of the zone and saw Thomas and Olli race off towards the bench gratefully.

He and Sirius didn’t say anything once they were seated next to each other, just caught their breath and watched. Pascal delivered a sound slap-shot, but it went just wide. Logan got the rebound, easy, and sent it to Fox. The horn went just before they put anything real together.

“D’accord,” Sirius said, tapping Remus’ thigh. “We’re not good, but we’re not bad.”

“What an endorsement.”

Remus handed off his gloves off to be dried as they walked down the tunnel. He could hear fans shouting their names as they passed by the glass that looked into the VIP lounge. There was a small girl standing there in a BLACK jersey. Remus watched as Sirius smiled down at her and touched his glove to the glass. The girl grinned and a woman who Remus thought must be her mother promptly burst into tears.

“Jesus.” Thomas laughed from behind him.

“Just me, actually,” Sirius said, and Thomas shoved him.

The locker room already had music playing so Remus guessed that Coach had decided to let them be, or perhaps Sirius had requested a players only break. Remus sat back in his stall and yanked his helmet off. He cut through the beat up tape of his stick with a short blade and sent a look towards Leo, who had a towel around his neck. He was leaned in close to Kasey, who was talking quietly to him.

“Kind of thought Coach was going to say something,” Thomas said. “Is Cap…”

“I didn’t hear him ask,” Remus said, but looked towards Sirius. He was glancing towards the door, too. It opened, and Remus expected Arthur or one of the assistants, but to his surprise, Alex O’Hara slipped through. He was in full gear, only a backwards hat replacing his helmet.

“Oh,” Remus breathed. He looked towards Kasey and Leo. Oh.

“What the hell,” Thomas said. He opened his mouth, obviously ready to shout something at Alex, but Remus put a hand on his thigh to stop him. Thomas looked over at him. “What?”

Kasey had already seen Alex and Remus watched his chest rise and fall in a quick, uneven breath. He put a hand on Leo’s knee, gave him a short smile, and then stood just as Alex reached him. Alex put a hand on his waist, but they said nothing. Kasey simply held his gaze for a long moment, and then turned to the room.

Oh.

“Hey, boys,” Kasey said, voice raised. “Boys, can I…” He’d taken some of his padding off, his hair pushed back from his face. “Can I talk for a second?”

It took everyone a moment to quiet down. They were a little surprised, maybe. Kasey wasn’t one to make speeches, even if it was a players only meeting, but he walked slowly to the center of the locker room.

“Sorry,” he smiled, but it was shaky. “I know we’re all focused on the W. I’ll be quick.”

“Don’t worry, Bliz. What’s up?” Sirius said, and Remus saw that his gray eyes were already somber. They darted to Remus’. If Remus had to guess, Kasey had asked Sirius to keep the room clear for him. Maybe even to have someone get Alex.

“Well. Thanks, Cap.” He looked around at them all. “Look, I know our season’s not over, boys, but I just wanted to say…God.” Kasey cleared his throat, looked down so his hair fell back into his face some. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay, Kase,” Alex said softly from just behind him.

Remus couldn’t describe how difficult it was, watching Kasey, Kasey of all people, get choked up. Watch him work to speak around tears. He watched some of the others realize what was probably about to happen. Thomas’ face fell. Leo stood, like he was going to go to Kasey.

“There, uh,” Kasey cleared his throat, tried for a smile. “There isn’t much I love more than you guys. Really. These years have just been the best of my life.”

“Bliz…” James breathed, took a step forward. The realization was slow around the room, but it was there. This had been in the air for so long that it felt strange to see it properly.

“Really, they have.” Kasey said. “I mean…God, lock me in this room, see if I put up a fight. I won’t. But. But it’s not good for me. I don’t want out of this game, I really don’t, I just—my body can’t do it anymore, boys. And I have to see that. I have to respect it.”

Remus put a hand to his chest. It was the strangest thing, he couldn’t remember ever having any sort of conversation like this one with his college teammates. Sometimes, he thought he had forced himself to forget moments from that time. Pushed them out of his mind. Now, he tried to remember. He tried to think of saying goodbye, or good game, or even being in the locker room with his sling. He couldn’t remember, but he wanted to help Kasey and so he tried. All that came was a blur of pain and dark rooms and a young, young Julian.

“I just…I have a feeling that…” Kasey wiped at his eyes. “Fuck. I know I shouldn’t have done this in the middle of a fucking—elimination game, oh my God.” It drew a small laugh out of most of the team. “You know, this isn’t gonna be our final game of the season, no fucking way, but it could be mine because it’s hard out there and—” His voice pitched up and he cleared his throat. “And I didn’t want it to happen, I didn’t want it to end, without everyone knowing, which is probably—maybe at one point in my life I would’ve called that selfish but I don’t think it is now.”

And then Leo was at his side, hand on his shoulder. He was crying, too, blue eyes vivid.

Kasey smiled and wrapped an arm around him. “And look whose fucking hands you’re in, all right? You’re good as golden.”

There was a heartbeat of silence. No one seemed to know what to say. Leo hugged Kasey, eyes closed and fisting the back of his jersey. Sirius walked forward next, and it seemed to break the spell.

“Don’t tempt me about locking you in here, Bliz,” Thomas said as he strode forward. “I just might do it.”

Kasey laughed as Thomas pulled him into a tight hug. He thumped Kasey on the back. “You going back out with us, right?”

“I want to,” Kasey said. “I think I can.”

“We’ll get this for you,” Sirius said. He put a hand on Kasey’s shoulder. “This is still yours, all of it. No matter what. You know that.”

Kasey looked at Sirius for a long moment. “Cap. Thank you. I don’t think my career would be the same without you.”

Sirius brow drew together and he shook his head. “Non. It’s all you, man.”

His eyes went behind Sirius. “And Dumo…” He pressed his lips together, unable to finish. “I…You’re…”

“Bliz,” Pascal smiled softly. “I’m probably not too far behind you in this case. I know that.”

Remus walked forward and put a hand on Sirius’ back.

“All I can say is that it’s an honor to play with you at our backs,” Pascal said.

Someone let out a whoop, and then they room was sort of clapping, sort of crying, and at least one strand of tension broke.

“I’m feeling a group hug,” Thomas said. “No, Cap, don’t pull that look on me. C’mon. Everyone, get your ass up.”

Remus couldn’t help but laugh, tearful as it was as he let Sirius wrap him up on one side, Thomas on the other. Timmy, Olli, Kota, Leo, Kris, Pascal.

There was a little jostle after a moment as a final person enthusiastically joined.

“Alex,” Pascal said without opening his eyes. “You should absolutely be here, but get your elimination game Ranger blue out of our hug.”

“My bad.”

Finn didn’t like being home alone. He didn’t like that he couldn’t watch the game. He didn’t like saying goodbye to Leo and Logan, knowing they weren’t going to the same place—or even if they were, to different teams. He wanted to be in the room. He wanted to play, he wanted the burn of his muscles. He wanted to press his shoulder up against Logan’s, or Alex’s, he wanted to defend Kasey and fight anything that even touched Leo.

Instead he was sitting on the couch with all the lights off and the shades down, listening to the crackle of the radio broadcast come from his computer with the screen turned away from him. He was waiting for period two to start, not in the tunnel to the ice, but when a a plate of what felt like the first truly solid food he’d eaten in weeks. Logan had given him a big kiss when he’d asked for Leo’s spicy chicken and rice burritos. Leo and hummed away happily in the kitchen making them and served him one with a gentle kiss to his forehead.

Okay, being taken care of wasn’t that hard.

His phone rang and he knew it was his mom without having to check.

“Hi,” he said around a mouthful, flipping the screen down towards the couch.

“Hi, baby. Just checking in. Fast game, huh? You doing okay? Eating dinner?”

“Mhm, I’m good. I mean—you know. As good as I can be. Listening.”

“Aw, sweetheart. I know.” He could hear the buzz of the stadium behind her, picked out Natalie’s laugh. “I know this isn’t how you pictured it at all.”

Finn sat back against the couch. “Yeah. Did you see Al?”

“For a second before the game. And Logan. He said that if we talk to you during the game to say he loves you.”

Finn smiled. “Mm. Good. How’s Leo looking on the bench?”

“Oh, they showed just the cutest shot of him like a little turtle—well, no a very tall turtle, with his mouth and nose in his jersey. But he seems good. Kasey seems good, too. He’s made some incredible saves.”

“They sound incredible,” Finn said. “Got your whiskey?”

She laughed. “Oh, you know it. Oh, baby, we’re starting. Gotta go, but I love you very much all right? Your dad, says so, too.”

“Love ya, bud!” came his dad’s voice from a little farther away.

Finn, honestly, felt a little choked up. He blinked the tears away and looked around the dim room. They would only make his head ache. “Love you guys, too.”

He heard the phone disconnect and rested his head back against the couch, suddenly not so hungry anymore. He wrapped his plate up for later and squinted an eye shut at the bright refrigerator light. He put the kettle on—could nothing be easy while using one hand?—and steeped some mint tea. When he came back to the couch, throwing a blanket over his legs, the commercials were over.

No, let’s be honest, if Kasey Winter hadn’t made those saves in the first—I don’t know where the Lions would be right now. Sitting in their dressing room and making fucking long summer plans, that’s for sure. Instead, this is a close game, a competitive game, and most importantly, both teams are still in the game.

I agree with you, Matt. Let’s go to the bench now, for an interview with Rangers’ Logan Tremblay.

“Oh, hi, baby,” Finn said softly.

Thanks, Matt. This is Cassie Baker here with Logan Tremblay—

Finn sat bolt upright. He knew—He knew that voice. Cassie. God. Cassie fucking Baker.

Logan, how do you think this period is going to shape up based on how aggressive that first period was so far?

“Holy fuck.” Finn couldn’t help but laugh. “Holy fuck?”

To Logan’s credit, he sounded just as shocked, as if he’d simply turned around and found Cassie there waiting for him. Cassie Baker. Finn remembered bouncing blonde curls and that god-damn Greek temple of the girl’s sorority house at school. Logan kissing her neck in the hallway. Harz, can we have the room for a bit? Coming back from a cancelled class and hearing—

Finn put a hand over his mouth and laughed again. “Okay. Oh man.”

I think we are two teams that want this badly, Logan was saying. Oh, he sounded so good. It’s going to be a fight, but hopefully entertaining for the fans.

How does it feel to possibly have the chance to eliminate your old team?

“Oh no,” Finn let himself fall sideways into the couch, right onto his shoulder. “Fuck.”

Logan’s laugh, disbelieving, still surprised, filled the room. Um. Intense.

Thanks for the time.

I—thanks.

Finn sat back up, holding his shoulder. Never had he ever wanted to talk to them more. He wanted to see Logan’s face. He wanted to see Leo with his chin tucked down against his chest. He didn’t want Leo sitting on the bench alone all game, watching the others work.

Zibanejad and Black on the face-off. The Rangers have a majority of these under their belts now, but Black wins in and it’s knocked back to Lupin. Remus Lupin, quite the surprise, the secret weapon, there are Olympic rumors, and Walker brings it right to the net—and scores! Oh, this game finally has some action!

“That makes one of us,” Finn said aloud to the room. He wasn’t sure he usually talked to himself this much. Maybe it was only that he couldn’t actually remember the last time he’d been alone. The hospital room, he guessed, but even that had been for mere minutes, not hours. He tugged the blanket farther up his chest and pressed his nose into his sweatshirt. Leo’s. He held his mug close to his face. The mint. Logan’s.

Dumais to Reyes, oh, in a near miss! It’s pitched out of the zone by Fox and picked up again by Goodrow—

Finn winced as the thought that he didn’t care who won the game filtered into his mind. He just wanted them to come home.

Luke caught onto Logan’s look the second he was sat back on the bench, breathing hard.

“What,” Luke said. “What the fuck’s that look?”

Logan wasn’t sure where to begin. He risked another glance towards the ice tunnel. Cassie was standing there with the cameraman. She looked the same. Her hair was a shiny dark blonde, blue eyes bright, forget-me-not. She carried herself the same. She was talking fast to the cameraman, directing him with her hand that wasn’t holding her microphone. Confident. Easy. She dressed differently. Smart, well-tailored navy suit that made her short frame look taller. Their eyes met, and she sent him another nervous smile.

“Fuck,” Logan said. He flashed a quick one back and turned away.

“What?” Luke asked.

Paul, Rangers PR, had said nothing more than, Tremblay, you’re ESPN’s interview and then Logan had looked up to find…

Hi, Logan. Yeah, probably should’ve warned you a little better… It’s been a while.

Luke punched him in the arm. “Logan.”

“Ex-girlfriend.” Logan swallowed.

“Girlfriend?” Alex asked, perking up. “You, girlfriend?”

“Ouais.”

“Oh my God, show me.”

“The ESPN reporter.” Luke and Alex both whipped their heads around and Logan closed his eyes. “Don’t look.”

Alex ignored him. “The blonde?”

“She’s cute,” Luke said.

“Stop looking.”

“Didn’t she just interview you?” Alex asked.

“Yes.”

“Did you know?”

“Obviously not,” Luke said. “Dude, you look fucking rattled, what did she do to you?”

Logan didn’t really want to think on it now. They had been good. Happy. For months, really. But she hadn’t had all of him, and she’d figured that much out quickly, if not who the rest of his heart was with.

“It’s more… It’s more what I did to her.” Logan shared a glance with Alex. “Or what I felt like I did to her.”

“Huh,” Luke said. “This is transcending bench talk.”

“Ooh,” Alex said. “Big word.”

“Fuck off.” Luke smiled a little, though. “Can you play with your ex-girlfriend watching, Tremzy?”

Logan hit Luke’s helmet with his stick. “Fuck off.”

Alex snorted as he pushed off the bench with Logan when Coach tapped their shoulders. “Are we gonna talk about the Leo Knut tendencies you seem to have always possessed?”

“Big word.” Logan shoved him so hard that he actually fell over, laughing all the way down. That was sure to be on Twitter somewhere later.

And Tremblay shoves O’Hara down. Laughing. Wonder what was so funny.

Finn sighed. “You and me both, bud.”

“Dev!”

Logan caught Luke’s back-pass and found himself trapped in the corner with Pascal, the puck between their two stick blades. Logan laughed a little, thought he heard Pascal do the same, but it was over too quickly to say anything. Logan knocked it out to Luke again who drew his stick right back and slammed it towards the goal. Kasey lunged for it, the odd, acute angle, but it went right under his glove.

“Yeah!” Logan put his hands up with a grin. He tried not to look at Pascal out of the corner of his eye.

He tapped his glove to Luke’s helmet when he skated into the celly, Percy slamming into their other side.

“Fucking finally, eh,” Percy shouted. He bumped his fist against Luke’s chest, then Logan’s. “Killer pass. Gorgeous.”

There was a buzzing in Logan’s ears. The crowd. Faces that were familiar but not from now. It was like someone had put a filter over his life and all the colors were different. His eyes found Leo on the bench. He was watching the replay on the big screen.

With ten minutes left in the second period, it did feel right that they had finally scored. Tied up, one-one. Logan skated to the bench and hauled himself over it, watching Panarin’s line go out.

He squirted water down the back of his neck and hit Luke’s thigh. “Good.”

“Yeah, well.” Luke wiped his visor clean with a towel. “Let’s just try and keep it up and end this round.”

Logan didn’t say anything. There was that feeling again. The one he couldn’t quite admit to himself. It was real once this round was over—or even realer than it was now. He wasn’t a Lion anymore. He was someone who ended the Lions’ season.

Panarin’s shot went wide twice and Trouba shot one over Kasey’s shoulder that got overturned for interference. Kasey stood with his back to the ice while the referees reviewed it. He had his helmet up and his water bottle in hand, but he didn’t drink. Logan knew Alex had gone into the Lions’ room. He knew what Kasey had announced. He wished he had been there. He wished he had known before Alex went so he could come. Kasey might not be on his team anymore, but he was still Kasey. He had wanted to stand next to Leo and hold his hand.

Six minutes left in the second. 1-1.

Logan jumped the boards right as the puck soared into the netting above the glass and the whistle went. Logan headed towards the Lions’ zone, but stopped when no one else did. He looked around.

“What’s up?” asked Will.

“I don’t know,” Logan said, frowning as Coach Arthur held up a T with his hands and Kasey started skating towards the bench. “They’re calling a time out.”

“Come on,” Finn said aloud to the dark room. “Come on.”

The more time went by, the more superstitious he seemed to get. He kept switching up his position on the couch. He’d even taken the computer into the kitchen while he finished his dinner, hoping they might have more luck if he was in a different room. He was putting his plate in the dishwasher when—

And looks like Leo Knut is taking Kasey Winter’s place in goal for the second game in a row.

Finn turned. “Le.”

Why the sudden switch, we’ll have to wait and see but one could only guess that it has something to do with Kasey Winter’s injury struggles this season. Well, recent seasons, I should say. I gotta feel for the guy, he’s one hell of a goalie.

Finn shut the dishwasher with a beep and cursed. As the final minutes of the second period wound down, he tried to picture Leo there. Wary of Logan. Trying to forget that it was Logan. Just number 71.

Tremblay with a high shot. Finn closed his eyes. —Goes wide of Knut. Kakko picks it up.

Finn listened to the third leaning against the kitchen island with his fingers against his lips. Waiting to hear Logan’s name, or Leo’s. LoganLeoLoganLeo, forced to go against each other.

Instead, it felt like all he heard was Remus’.

Lupin has had ten shots on goal alone in these last two periods. None of them have gone in mind you, but that fact is impressive and—oh that’s from Walker straight to Lupin’s tape and carrying, carrying, back to Walker, no look—and he scores! Remus Lupin with a five-hole on a beauty of a no looker from Thomas Walker! He brings it up to 2-1 Lions.

“Yeah!” Finn shouted, rising to his feet. “Fuck yes!”

He wanted to turn on the TV. He wanted to see. He wanted to watch them celebrate, he wanted to skate across the ice and hug Remus because he would have been on the line. He would have. He could have helped.

“Fucking sling,” Finn whispered, tugging at the elastic strap. Most of tea had long gone cold, and he wanted a popsicle to suck on and dull out the ache in his head a little. Or, really, he wanted to close his eyes and go to sleep but he couldn’t do that. Not before the game was through. It was only 9:30 for fuck sake. Though he did find himself wishing that it wouldn’t go to any OT periods. If he stayed standing he’d stay awake.

He paced to the window as the puck battled between zones. Logan was feisty tonight. He’d come close to blows with Kota twice it sounded like. The Rangers went up on a power play when Kota tripped Logan and Finn nearly cheered before remembering that it was the Rangers. Finn walked around the couch as the whistle blew for another Rangers icing. Whoever kept dumping was only doing the Lions a favor.

“C’mon,” Finn mumbled. “I’m tired and I miss you, c’mon.”

Logan on power play one. Logan, Alex. Back to Logan. Finn was too tense, he really wasn’t supposed to be this tense, he was supposed to be firmly relaxing. But Leo. God, Logan and Alex in front of Leo’s net, glove save against Alex, Logan’s shot going wide. Logan was pulling back, Finn could feel it. He was trying, trying, and then seeing Leo. And he was going to get so much shit for it. Finn sat down, rubbed at the back of his neck.

“Fuck,” he whispered. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

He should have been praying for a win, but he was praying for this game to be over.

O’Hara to Tremblay, back to O’Hara—and he scores!

“Yeah!” Finn said then cursed. “I mean, no.” He groaned. He had to stop doing that. “Fuck.”

Alex O’Hara with a very clean tip-in off of an assist from Tremblay, Knut didn’t have a chance. 2-2 now this is a tight game and the scoring has picked up tremendously. The puck drops Jesus Christ, Lupin again! Christ almighty! Lupin again! Right off the face-off! 3-2 Lions!

“Loops!” Finn stood and laughed through the word. They were ahead now. God, the announcer was rambling, the pile up on the ice must be insane, celebrating. There was a short enough amount of time that this could be it, it could be, especially with the crowd the way it was, God, Finn could hear it, he could see it, even if he couldn’t. The pounding of hands on the glass and his teammates shouting right beside him. The way Thomas and Evgeni jumped up and down, making the bench rattle.

There was three minutes to go. They were ahead, and Logan was trying. God, Finn could feel him. The way he moved, the way he breathed. He’d spent his entire career watching him, waiting for him, tracking him even when he couldn’t see him. Catch a pass, catch a mistake. Finish a goal, pretty or dirty. Alex was trying his best but twice they’d gotten their pocket picked by Sirius and it made Finn hide a smile. No one could play with Logan as well as him.

It didn’t stop him from scoring though. Of course it didn’t.

That is one slick wrap-around by Tremblay.

Finn closed his eyes. He wanted that highlight. He wanted it bad.

Knut didn’t look like he even knew where the puck was.

Finn put his head in his hands. He could hear the celebration. “Le. Aw, baby, it’s okay, it’s okay…”

The Rangers even it up again with forty-six seconds on the clock. Oh, the Lions don’t like that. Arthur Weasley doesn’t like that, but he’s used his timeout. Gryffindor will have to figure something out.

“Come on,” Finn whispered. “Come on, boys…”

It was a blur of phrases and images playing behind his closed eyes.

God, impossible save by Knut! He’s gonna get famous for that poke-check of his, we saw it last play-offs, and look’s like we’ll be seeing more of it—

Finn wanted to be there to scoop the puck up from Leo’s waiting stick, clear of the blue paint. He wanted to feel Leo at his back, defending him, letting him risk a more risky pass.

The clock had to be dangerously low now and Finn’s head ached with how he was squeezing his eyes shut, but he couldn’t help it. He was so tired.

Knocked away by Knut, hard shot by Trouba—

“Good.” Finn whispered, thumb nail between his teeth. “Good, Le…”

What a take away by Black and he’s going—Lupin catches up with him and it’s two on one, Black and Lupin against Luke Deveaux—Black sends it over to Lupin, Lupin back to Black, and a third time—GOAL! Goal! Goal!

Finn shouted. There weren’t any words in it, but a sheer sound of relief and joy.

Lupin with the hat trick! Hat trick! With twelve seconds on the clock! Twelve seconds! Three goals all scored within—Jesus, how long?—that’s insane, that is just magnificent, insane—

Remus heard the crowd. Deep, collective—for a split second, he thought they were booing. But then he pieced it together, right as Sirius slammed into his chest and shouted right in his ear. Not boos.

Loops.

My God, Remus Lupin is on fire tonight. God, what a shot! What a shot, this place is going wild. This place is on its feet because the Lions are going to a game seven. I repeat, the Gryffindor Lions are taking the New York Rangers to a game seven—

Long, drawn out, Loops and then reorganizing into a chant, and then dissolving into cheers. Hats showered them. Completely, it felt like. Raining, pouring, drenching the ice in hats. So many Remus wondered how all of them made it to the ice. He couldn’t stop laughing. He thought maybe he was crying a little.

“Game winner!” Thomas was shouting. “Game fucking winner, fucking winner, fucking natty hatty, oh fuck, Remus!”

“Jesus, what’s in your water, Lupin!” Percy Marshall shouted from near Saint’s goal.

He just looked up at Sirius. Sirius laughed and then ducked down and kissed Remus’ cheek—or tried, but it was really just their visors knocking together. “I love you. I love you, love you, I love you so much—”

“Julian,” Remus said. “You think Jules saw?”

Sirius just pressed their visors together, while Thomas all but crowed to the sky. “Yeah, baby, Jules saw.”

Remus looked up towards the Lions box as he skated towards the bench, as he skated down the line tapping gloves. He couldn’t see much, but he would have been able to pick out that wildly jumping figure any place, any time.

Logan went looking for Cassie. He wouldn’t deny it. He smoothed his wet hair back from his face and tugged at his tie. He smiled shakily at a few members of the press who passed him on their way to the pressroom to write their stories. Post-game interviews had been rough. You guys could have had it, what will you do differently to pull through next game?

It was a fairly normal question. Definitely expected. The hard part, Logan guessed, was answering it truthfully—even to himself. Pulling through meant taking the Lions out, and Logan couldn’t think about that too hard.

But even worse: You seemed to have…bad puck luck when Knut came into goal. What do you think happened?

Logan could have punched the guy who asked that. He’d stared at him hard enough to make him take a step back anyway.

“Tremzy!”

Logan turned fast. Katie, flying towards him full-force, in Rangers blue with TREMBLAY on her back. Pascal had sent him the video—Katie bawling her eyes out and refusing to move until the removed her father’s jersey and gave her a Tremblay one.

Pascal wasn’t too far behind her and grinned as Logan caught Katie up in his arms.

“Salut, Petit. Oh, what are you wearing?” Logan propped her on his hip and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Is that all for me?”

She patted his tie. “You didn’t win. Papa won.”

“C’est une tragédie, apparently,” Pascal said. “We cannot go home until she finds you, you know.”

“Non, me neither.” Logan smiled at him and tilted his and Katie’s heads together. He switched to French. “I need my little cabbage fix before dinner…”

Katie shrieked out a laugh, knowing what was coming, and Logan dipped her upside down to kiss her cheek with nom noises before bringing her upright again.

“Didn’t you like the Lions hat trick? All the hats on the ice.”

Katie shook her head, brandishing the wrist with her charm bracelet at him like a sword. “Non. I like when you get goals.”

“Ouch,” Pascal said wryly.

Katie put a hand on top of Logan’s head. “Is Harzy okay?”

“Ouais,” Logan said. “He’s doing much better. He misses you.”

“Where’s Leo?”

“I’m going to find him right now.”

She squished Logan’s cheeks between her small palms. “Does he have banana bread?”

“Not with him, I don’t think.”

Katie frowned. “Oh.” Then, she promptly squeezed her arms around his neck and put her head on his shoulder. “I love you.”

“Aw,” Logan said. “I love you, too.”

Pascal mouthed, she’s going to fall asleep, and Logan nodded, half-sure that she already was. He put a hand on her back. She was so warm, so delicate in his arms. He used to be afraid of that, holding onto her too hard. “Past your bedtime, hm?”

They stood silently in the hallway together for a moment. Logan thought of the warm living room at the Dumais house. The boys muting their video game on the TV. Katie sleeping against his chest. Noelle passing him embroidery floss colors to pick out so she could make him a bracelet.

“I don’t think I’ll get used to seeing you in blue,” Pascal said softly, stroking back Katie’s hair, then, after a moment of hesitation, mussing Logan’s gently.

“Me neither,” Logan replied roughly. God, how many homes could one person be homesick for at once?

“No matter what happens next game,” Pascal said. “We love you. You know that, right?”

“Ouais.”

“You won’t beat yourself up.”

“Non.” He sighed. “Well, not too bad. I’m worried about Leo.” He sighed. He had to tell someone. “It’s been hard. This, Finn, Kasey…”

“Archer,” Pascal finished hesitantly.

“Logan?” said a voice.

Logan looked to see Cassie at the other end of the hallway. She gave him a small wave, looking uncertain as to whether she should approach or not.

“Ah,” Pascal said. “I thought you knew her.”

“Quoi.” He smiled back at her, held up a finger. One second.

“You looked, ah, how did Sirius put it…Freaked.”

“I’m not.”

“Here,” Pascal said, reaching out for Katie.

“Wait, wait, wait—” Logan began to say, but Pascal just arched a brow.

“You do not need to hold my daughter for every tough conversation you have.”

Logan rolled his eyes, but eased the sleepy Katie into her father’s arms.

“Go talk to a girl. That can’t be too difficult for you.”

“Dumo.”

Pascal just smiled. “Oh, and guess what?”

Logan sighed. His arms felt cold and too light without Katie in them. “What?”

“Leo is going to be okay. You three are going to be fine.”

Pascal touched Logan’s cheek briefly, then turned away, murmuring softly to Katie.

“Remus!”

Remus dropped everything he was holding—his glove, a roll of tape, a tennis ball, and his mouth guard—to turn around and get a stumble-inducing hug by his little brother.

“Did you get any of the hats!” Julian asked. “Oh my God!”

“I think they’re in a bunch of buckets somewhere,” Remus said, and held on tighter even when Jules made to pull back. “No, one more second.”

“I have to see Sirius, too!”

“He didn’t get a hat trick.” Remus squeezed Julian until he gasped for air.

“Death by hug,” Julian coughed out, but he squeezed Remus just as tightly back. “It was so cool, Re.”

“Thanks. It felt pretty cool.” He put his hands on Julian’s shoulders and pulled back. “I can get you a hat if you want a hat. Can’t promise to know whose head it was on, though.”

Julian laughed. “I don’t need a hat.” Remus still sort of wanted to get him a hat. He wanted to get Julian anything he could ever possibly want.

Julian shook Remus lightly by his shoulder pads. “Game seven! Did you always think you were going to go to a game seven!”

Remus shrugged, patting his stall for Julian to sit in. “I don’t know if Captain Superstitious over here would have allowed such a thought to cross my mind.”

“Wow,” Sirius said, stripping off his chest pads and grabbing his towel for a shower. “You make me sound insane.”

Julian and Remus shared a look.

“You might be a little.” Julian pinched his fingers. “Tiny bit insane.”

Sirius rolled his eyes, but tussled Julian’s hair before walking away.

“Hey.” Remus nudged his his foot against Julian’s shin. “You okay here for a second if I shower so we can all get some ice cream before it’s after midnight?”

Julian’s eyes lit up—either at the mention of ice cream or at the prospect of being left to his own devices in the locker room.

“Oh, I’ve got him,” Thomas said. He was wearing his suit pants and shrugging on a white button down. “Noelle chose to go see the Rangers so I, too, am abandoned.”

“Oh my God,” Jackson said from beside him. “She said she’d be back in two minutes after seeing her loser brother.”

“Watch it,” Leo called, passing by.

“Two whole minutes.” Thomas tisked. “Nado, I don’t know what to do with myself without that girl around anymore. Copy?”

“Good luck,” Remus said to Julian, and stripped off his own padding to head to the showers.

James was singing—horribly—but Sirius had secured them the two corner showers. Remus’ favorite. The hot water felt good, but Sirius’ gaze on him felt better. Remus smiled as he closed his eyes and tilted his head back to wash his hair.

“I can feel you thinking,” Remus said.

“If we were alone, you could feel—”

“Oh I’m sure.”

“Well, I was thinking about taking you into another private corner but your little brother was looking at me.”

Remus reached for the shampoo. “This is true.” He looked over his shoulder. “I don’t see him anywhere now.”

Sirius sent a pointed look at James and the few other of their teammates showering around them.

“What?” Remus said with a grin. “I just want a kiss.”

Sirius watched him for a moment, and Remus let himself admire the way the water made his dark hair and eyelashes ever darker. The way the droplets made his tan skin shine. Finally, Sirius went so far as to settle a hand on Remus’ bare, wet hip, and kissed his cheek.

“I love you,” Sirius whispered against Remus’ skin.

“I love you, too.”

“The noodles!” Evgeni shouted, ducking beneath a shower head across the room.

“He means canoodle,” Jackson said.

Sirius ignored them. “I want to re-watch that game.”

“Is that all?”

“No. It’ll never be all with you. I’ll always want you more.” Another soft kiss to his temple. “And more, and more.”

“You fucker,” Alex said into his phone, wedged between his shoulder and ear as he tied his dress shoes.

“Ha-ha,” Finn replied. “It was all me.”

“Oh, we’ll get your boys next game.” Alex said.

“Will you now?” Finn said. “You sure about that?”

“Pretty damn sure, I’d say. Lupin can’t be that hot every night.”

“Ha, but Sirius Black can.”

“Bleh.” Alex straighten with a sigh. “I hate how true that is.”

“Hey, Al?”

Alex took his phone, switching ears. “Yup?”

There was a bit of a pause, long enough that Alex looked at the screen to make sure that Finn was still there. It made him nearly miss his first couple words.

“If you can,” Finn’s voice said. “Try not to let Lo take any winning shots against Leo.”

Alex’s smile dimmed. His eyes moved over to Kasey, who was leaning against the wall through the locker room doorway with Natalie, waiting for him. She said something with a smile and he nodded in his soft way, playing with the diamond ring on her finger.

“It’ll hurt them both, I think,” Finn finished softly. “Maybe ask Deveaux, too. If you can.”

“I don’t know if I can help that, Finn,” Alex said.

“I know.” Finn’s sigh crackled like wind. “I know. Yeah, I know.”

“Hey,” Alex said. “But I love you, little Fish.”

There was a beat of silence. “All right, I’ll let that slide just this once.”

Alex smiled.

“Love you, too.”

“Hi,” Cassie said.

Logan’s words got stuck for a second.

She had taken her suit jacket off and her white shirt underneath was crisp and clean. Logan remembered her in low tank-tops and knee-high boots. His Harvard sweatshirts and tiny cotton shorts, stretching in his bed and going to his window to check if it was raining. Yes, he had loved Finn for most of their time together, but that didn’t mean he hadn’t appreciated Cassie. She was kind and fun and, God, had she ever taught him what he liked. She had been a little wild like that. He had a flash of a steamed up car window, her uneven breathing against his cheek, her hand fisting the hair at the back of his neck.

“I…hi.”

She smiled, then shrugged and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Hi.”

He laughed. “Hi.” She felt the same and he automatically squeezed her waist like he used to. “I—sorry about—I mean on the bench.” They pulled apart. “I was—I wasn’t expecting—”

“No, that’s so on me, I didn’t give you, like, any warning. This is kind of a new promotion for me. I mean, not kind of.” She rolled her eyes, laughing. “It is.”

“Congrats.”

“Thanks.”

“Well—wow, I have to tell Finn.”

“Oh, Finn. I always adored him.”

“He’s good. Uh and, oh, Will and Percy are here, did you…”

“Saw them on the bench, but haven’t gotten to say hi yet.” She tilted her head, teasing. “Didn’t think I was just waiting for you, did you?”

Logan laughed. “Uh, non, definitely not.”

“But it is really good to see you. Really, really good. Seriously, though, is Finn doing okay? That was really hard footage to watch.”

Try being there. “Yeah. He’s—he’s better. He’s getting better. He might be at the next game in New York, if he gets cleared. Not dressed, but, still. Not having to sit in the dark.”

“Right.” Cassie nodded sympathetically. “God, that happened to him in college, didn’t it?”

Twice. Logan nodded. He didn’t expect her to remember. They’d been broken up by the second.

“Well, then I hope I get to say hi.”

Logan wasn’t sure how to talk about Finn with Cassie. She’d broken up with him over Finn, even though she hadn’t known it was Finn at the time. She’d thought it was another girl, just someone else taking up Logan’s attention. By the conflicted look on her face, it looked like she knew now.

“Um.” Cassie tucked her hair behind her ears then crossed her arms. “Listen. This is probably not the time and definitely not the place but I’m not sure—I kind of just have to say this if you don’t mind.” She glanced down the hallway, but they were alone. “I think I was kind of…I know I was hard on you when we broke up…”

Logan shook his head. He swallowed, trying to force the words out quickly. “Non. Non, I don’t think you were hard on me. If anyone was hard on someone, it was me on you. I mean…now you know that…that Finn and I?”

“Were you together then?” she asked, then her eyes widened. “God. No. Jesus, you don’t have to tell me that. That was so rude, wow. I’m sorry.” She laughed a little. “We don’t see each other for years and—”

“We weren’t,” Logan said, but then it was his turn to laugh a bit. “Well—Merde. I mean. We were… We loved each other then. But we…” How to even say it? “We thought we couldn’t.” No, that wasn’t it. “I thought we couldn’t.”

“You seriously don’t owe me an explanation,” Cassie said. “Logan, I was trying to apologize. The second I heard about you and Finn—I mean, I think I just saw a photo of you two on Twitter or something, or Instagram?—but I remembered our fight like it was yesterday and…”

“You thought I was cheating on you. And in a lot of ways you were right. You had ever right to be mad at me.”

“I…I know that now. But I loved you, and I shouldn’t have said all those horrible things.” She let out a breath. “I didn’t mean them. It’s just that I really, really loved you.”

Logan wouldn’t have said any of his heart still belonged to Cassie, but right then it felt like part of it might, in some way. It broke all over again for the two of them. For the quiet mornings and for looking up into the bleachers at games and seeing her there, wearing his sweater. For all the times she’d gone quiet and let him think about what he wanted to say, when she was always so bright and sudden for everyone else.

“Anyway,” she sighed. “I just didn’t know when I would see you again and, you know, knock on wood you’ll be too busy celebrating next game, and I wanted to say that I’m sorry. And that I’m happy for you. You and Finn.”

“I’m sorry, too,” Logan said. “I didn’t deserve you. I was trying to figure me out and…and I feel like I used you but, for the record, I did love you, too. Maybe not like you loved me, but.”

Cassie smiled. “Yeah?”

Logan smiled back. “Ouais.”

“Oh.” Cassie shook her head fondly. “God, I missed your French.”

Logan was laughing when he heard Leo’s voice from behind him.

“Lo?”

Logan turned and found him standing there, handsome in his navy suit. He looked between them hesitantly.

“Le,” Logan held out a hand to him. “Soleil, this is Cassie. Cas, this is my boyfriend, Leo.”

Cassie smiled, then looked alarmed, then smiled again. “Uh. Wait. Um. I mean, hi.”

“There’s two of them,” Logan said and took Leo’s hand. “Finn. Leo.”

“Two?”

“Two.”

Cassie looked between them for a moment, then shrugged. “Jesus, I can’t even find one. You were so great in the third, Leo, it’s nice to meet you.”

“Oh,” Leo said, a little dazed. Logan tried not to watch too closely as Leo looked Cassie up and down. “Well, thanks, pleasure to meet you. How do you two…”

Logan squeezed Leo’s fingers. “Cas and I were at school together—we…well, we…”

“Dated,” Cassie finished for him with a grin. “For a little while. But then again, I never got called the sun by this one so who’s counting it really.”

Leo looked down at Logan and Logan was so proud of the happy look in those blue eyes he could have kissed him. “No?”

“Nope,” Cassie said. “But I can see why you do.”

“Casss-ieee,” came Percy’s voice from behind them, and then the thump of him running down the hall. He didn’t even hesitate, not even when it had been years, before scooping her up in a hug. She shrieked, but let him spin her once and press a kiss to her cheek.

“Oh my God, will you not ever grow up Percy Marshall?”

Percy just grinned at her. His suit was wrinkled, as usual, and he towered over her, but he looked down at her smile like he was looking up to the blue sky. “Not a chance, Cassie Baker. Not with you to impress.”

“It’s been too long since I’ve been subjected to your flirting.”

“Well.” Percy released her and stuck his hands in his pockets. “Who knows. Maybe I really mean it this time.”

Logan felt Leo nudged him, hip against hip, and Logan leaned his head against his shoulder.

“Home?” Leo whispered.

“Ouais.”

Logan thwacked Percy upside the head as they passed by. “See you next game, Cas?”

“Count on it,” Cassie called, and when she wasn’t looking, Percy mouthed Cassie fucking Baker to him over her shoulder with a lovesick expression on his face.

“So, you dated her,” Leo said. He was trying very hard not to smile.

“Oasis,” Logan said. “But…” He reached up as they walked and traced a blond wave of Leo’s hair, then the gray streak. “I was obviously looking for you.”

“You know Hannah looks just like you, right?”

“What? Non.”

Leo laughed. “Logan Tremblay. Look alive, hot stuff—oh.” Leo’s phone pinged. “Gee, wonder who that could be.”

Please come home I talking to myself (sent with Siri)

Also the doctor is emailed I clear for traveled with to you so New York! Sirius send happy emoji no smile emoji no send smile (sent with Siri)

Leo snorted, Logan let out a loud laugh, then they had to take a minute, leaning against each other with silent laughter.

“What’s wrong with you two?” Remus asked as he passed by with Sirius and Julian.

“Sirius,” Logan gasped. “Send smile emoji.”

Leo crouched, hiding his face against Logan’s hip as his shoulders shook.

Sirius just shook his head and tugged on Remus’ hand. “You need to go home.”

“Send smile emoji!” Logan shouted after him.

Sirius just looked back at him. “What the fuck, Tremz.”

“I’ve got him,” Leo laughed, wrapping an arm around Logan’s shoulder. “C’mon, Harz is talking to himself, we better go save him.”

“He always talks to himself.”

“I don’t think he knows that.”

Leo just hummed in agreement. “She seemed nice.”

“She is,” Logan said.

“This is the girl you mean when you say college girlfriend, right?”

“Mhm,” Logan nodded, and took Leo’s hand again as they walked into the stairwell that led to the parking lot. It smelled like summer. Heat and humidity. Leo stripped off his suit jacket to drive and threw it in the back seat with their bags.

When they were turning the engine on, Logan put a hand over Leo’s. “Le.”

Leo looked up from adjusting his mirrors.

Logan took a breath. He wasn’t sure he actually wanted to talk it all through, but maybe it would get easier. Maybe. And he at least had the short drive home to start. “Want me to tell you about it?” Logan asked softly. “Cassie.”

Leo’s lips parted, surprised. His hair was darker, the ends starting to dry from his own shower. He had taken his tie off, too, and his shirt was open at the neck. Logan reached out and touched the indent of the fleur-de-lis necklace beneath his shirt. It had been passed back and forth between them— Finn had been wearing it for a few days there when he was mostly just sleeping and in pain, but Logan supposed at some point, Finn had slipped it over Leo’s neck again.

“Yeah,” Leo said softly. “I’d like that.”

Logan leaned back in his seat as Leo pulled out of their spot. “I met her my very first night as a Freshman. I didn’t know what I was doing, I didn’t even have bed sheets. I had met Fish, là, twenty minutes maybe before. I scared the hell out of him in our room. But you know that, anyway, Cassie saved me from sitting by myself all night…”

#vaincre lumosinlove #sweater weather lumosinlove #sports au #wolfstar au #o'knutzy #lumosinlove #finn o'hara #Logan tremblay #sirius black #Leo knut #remus lupin #go lions go

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dino-boyo-agere · 2 years

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AgeRe YouTube Channel list

Haii!!

I decided to write down my favorite age-regression YouTube channels, as well as some I just really like to watch when I'm tiny!

Some of those channels are sparse in their uploading schedule, diverted their theme away from regression or have stopped uploading all together. Nonetheless, even in those cases, their old videos on/ about AgeRe are still a great watch and I highly recommend checking them out!

!! of course it's all SFW content aswell !!

So, without further ado, here is my list..

.･｡ﾟ×ﾟ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ×ﾟ｡･*.ﾟ.✧.ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ×ﾟ｡･*.ﾟ☆ﾟ×ﾟ｡･.

Age regression channels:

• ri's space (formerly known as Rileys littlespace)

• Smolbinkie

• AspenSprout

• Babie dani

• Little Moo Moo (i love them so much + their a POC) ╰→ ! they are DDLG aligned, but still make SFW content !

• Vexedbabie

• Princess smol bean

• Natalie's age regression

• milkwebs

• Little kitty space

• Xlittle.plantx

• Small safe space

• cottagebabydol

• Little Disreactions (AgeRe themed/ coded ASMR)

• Blond boy (i think this one's actually ABDL tho?)

• LittleBabysLittleSpace (this one's also ABDL)

Crafting channels:

• NerdEcrafter (always fun when smol)

• North of the Border (great for spookie tiny ones)

• Bobby Duke Arts

• Studson Studio

• Nick Zametti

• Ten Hundred

• I did a thing

• Jazza (also especially kiddo friendly)

• Evan and Katelyn

• Kasey Golden

• Moriah Elizabeth

• Super Rae dizzle

• Maquaroon

• Dollightfull

• HeXtian

• Tyler Tube

Toy and slime review channels:

• ashens (idk why lil me luvs to watch this, u might too)

• Great Big Toy Box

• Next Jen (Main of GBTB)

• Sandaisy

• It's kristiii

Learning channels:

• Mrs. Rachel (recommended by @zack-agere)

• William Osman

• TheBackyardScientist

• Be Smart (recommended by @zack-agere)

• Crash Course Kids

• Free School

• Peekaboo Kidz

• It's AumSum Time

• Clever Kids

• BRIGHT SIDE Series

• Toy Time Town

• SciShow Kids

• BE AMAZED

• KLT (learning with songs, for smol & big kids)

• Danny Go! (rlly like dis one, even has a vid on ASL!!)

• Kids TV123 (learning with songs, for extra tiny ones)

Dino channels:

• The Dinosaur Channel

• Dinosaurs

• Ben G Thomas

Space Channels:

• Future Space

• PBS Space Time

• History of the Universe

• melodysheep (has some really great vids on space!)

Arcade channels:

• Push Time Wins

• Kawaii arcade master

TV/ Movie talk Channels:

Pugly

Dylan Is In Trouble

Alex Hefner's TV and Movie Vault

.･｡ﾟ×ﾟ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ×ﾟ｡･*.ﾟ.✧.ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ×ﾟ｡･*.ﾟ☆ﾟ×ﾟ｡･.

That's all the channels I can think of thus far, I'm more than happy to add your suggestions aswell though! I would actually really appreciate some more recommendations on channels, especially if u have any SFW agere boy channels, aswell as channels that are highly focused on dinosaurs or space!

Thank you for reading!

I hope this helps some of y'all to find some more people to connect to in our amazing community!!

Love y'all 💞 ~ ฅ⁠|°▿▿▿▿°|ฅ

.ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ×ﾟ｡･».ﾟ°･⁠✧ ↓ DNI ↓ ✧･° ﾟ.«･｡ﾟ×ﾟ｡･*.ﾟ.

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inmyminditsreal · 6 months

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Lego Is Life

Fem!reader x Spencer reid

Word count: 700 ish

Summary: Woken up by a very eager 8 year old daughter, Spencer and I crawl out of bed and indulge in Lego like true adults.

Warnings: sweetnessss

I'm supa tired so if this is rusty IM SORRRY!! also sorry i haven't posted in like 30 years. been tired and focused on school!! Hope you enjoy

Enjoyyyy!!!!

Spencer had just finished a case and as soon as he got home, he almost fell asleep while hugging me. I told him we should just go to bed, he agreed. So now we’re crawling into bed, finally able to get some sleep. Though, with an eight year-old daughter it’s very hard. Most nights we're woken up by bad dreams, the monster under the bed, that she puked, or that she wants to cuddle. We eventually both drift off to sleep, holding each other close. Until,

“Daddy! Come look at this!” Our daughter says as she bursts open the door. With a loud groan followed by a smile, Spencer crawls out of bed, picks her up and says,

“Where to sweetheart?"

“My bedroom!” She says with a stifled giggle. Curious as to what this mystery was, I crawl out of bed too and begin to follow them. I check my phone to see a whopping 1:37am. In the bedroom I see that Kasey has just finished building her Lego friends set.

“Awww that’s awesome sweetie.” I smile from the doorway with a yawn, and see Spencer give her a big high-five.

“I love it. Which one is this?” Spencer asks.

“This is the best waterpark ever. I call it Kasey’s Kool Slides, but cool with a k. It has all the cool characters and I can make them fight each other! It says you can add water to it! Can I?”

“As long as you do in the living room, where there’s no carpet.” I add with a smile.

“So! Wanna play?” She zaps while looking at us with the biggest grin I've ever seen.

We both look at each other with tired eyes and smile. “Absolutely.”

“YES! Okay so this is Emma, she’s my favourite and she likes Mia, Autumn, and Stephanie. But the other girls are their enemies! They’re the mean girls at their school.”

“Are they mean enough to give a tickle attack?” Spencer laughs as he throws her on the bed and tickles her into a fit of giggles.

“Stop!!! Let's go to the living room and fill it with water!” She giggles as she escapes from his arms and runs down the stairs.

“Are you sure you’re not too tired honey?” I ask Spencer, seeing his giant eyebags.

“Of course. How could I miss out on this waterpark drama.”

I smile as he picks up the Lego set and walks down the stairs. Kasey has already cleared a big spot on the living room floor and filled a cup with water. “Are you ready?” She asks us both.

“Mhm.” I say, as we sit down by her and watch as she pours the water in with a giant smile. I watch as Spencer takes one of the characters and begins to fight with the one in her hand. She gasps and pushes his down the slide. Both of them, smiling like idiots. I join in and they eventually tire eachother out. She collapses on top of Spencer, who has already fallen asleep on my lap. I snap a picture and gently wake him up,

“Spence, wake up its 3 in the morning. Honey, wake up.” I whisper while gently shaking his shoulder. His eyelids shutter and he looks up at me.

“Hi beautiful.” He smiles and shuffles his position.

“Don’t move!” I whisper-shout while pointing towards Kasey. He slips her into his arms, we both walk up as I pick up the lego set. In her room he sets her down on the bed and pulls the covers up slowly. She opens her eyes and smiles at us.

“Goodnight mommy. Goodnight daddy. Can we play more tomorrow?”

“I’ll see what I can do about that sweetheart. I love you.” He says as he places a soft kiss on her forehead, and I do the same.

“I love you so so soooo much sweetie. Goodnight.” I whisper.

“I love you too.” She mumbles as she snuggles into her blankets. We turn out the lights and quietly shut the door.

“She’s so cute, oh my god.” I mumble as we walk back to the room.

“So cute.” he says with a sleepy smile. I show him the picture I took of the two of them sleeping. He smiles and whispers softly,

“I love you so much.” While looking down at me. He collapses into the bed and I follow right after, crawling into his arms and drifting softly asleep.

#spencer reid #criminal minds #fem!reader x spencer reid #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid one shot #spencer reid fic #readerxspencerreid #spencerreid #spencer reid cute #spencer reid fluff

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kaseylovesacnh · 7 months

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welcome to my new island pirouette 🩰🧺

it’s a coquette angelina ballerina themed island i hope you like it 🤍 xx kasey

follow me on instagram @kaseylovesacnh

#acnh community #acnh exterior #acnh inspiration #animal crossing #angelina ballerina #kaseylovesacnh

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tomorrowusa · 2 months

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If you want to know what the US would be like during a second Trump-Pence-Vance administration, just visit some red states.

Utah has just unleashed a wave of book bans and almost all the banned authors are female.

Books by Margaret Atwood, Judy Blume, Rupi Kaur and Sarah J Maas are among 13 titles that the state of Utah has ordered to be removed from all public school classrooms and libraries. This marks the first time a state has outlawed a list of books statewide, according to PEN America’s Jonathan Friedman, who oversees the organisation’s free expression programs. The books on the list were prohibited under a new law requiring all of Utah’s public school districts to remove books if they are banned in either three districts, or two school districts and five charter schools. Utah has 41 public school districts in total. The 13 books could be banned under House bill 29, which became effective from 1 July, because they were considered to contain “pornographic or indecent” material. The list “will likely be updated as more books begin to meet the law’s criteria”, according to PEN America. Twelve of the 13 titles were written by women. Six books by Maas, a fantasy author, appear on the list, along with Oryx and Crake by Atwood, Milk and Honey by Kaur and Forever by Blume. Two books by Ellen Hopkins appear, as well as Elana K Arnold’s What Girls Are Made Of and Craig Thompson’s Blankets.

Utah is looking for a way of "legally" disposing of the books because burning them would invite obvious comparisons with Nazis.

Implementation guidelines say that banned materials must be “legally disposed of” and “may not be sold or distributed”. PEN America Freedom to Read programme director Kasey Meehan said that such “vague” guidelines will “undoubtedly result in dumpsters full of books that could otherwise be enjoyed by readers” and that while they stop short of “calling for book burning, the effect is the same: a signal that some books are too dangerous”. Let Utah Read, a coalition of organisations, librarians, teachers and parents among others, has started a petition to “fix the ‘sensitive materials’ law”. “It is a dark day for the freedom to read in Utah,” said Meehan. The list of banned books “will impose a dystopian censorship regime across public schools and, in many cases, will directly contravene local preferences. Allowing just a handful of districts to make decisions for the whole state is anti-democratic.”

I hope that Utah school library users and librarians manage to hide the books so that the MAGA book-banning fascists can't destroy them.

The Republican Party which gave us Donald Trump, J.D. Vance, Ron DeSantis, and Marjorie Taylor Greene runs Utah with an iron fist. Republicans have given up on even the pretense of freedom. They have unapologetically gone full blown authoritarian. As such, they should not be entrusted with any elected office at any level in the United States.

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kingdumkum · 1 year

Note

It took me a solid few days to realize you and messymisc were the same acc, so here I come to thee as kingdumbass lmao

Thank you so much for being so excited about my soul drabble I need you to know I adore you 🥺

oh my goodness, i crown thee second-in-command to my king of fools because i’m about to get silly. (not really though bc i’m not embarrassed how much i enjoyed it and y’all deserve to know it)

I CANNOT express enough how much i LOVE it. if you haven’t read it… GO. I will reblog it every time it comes on my dash. I have sent it to multiple people. I have it queued for months in advance to bring it back lest I forget (i will not forget).

you captured the essence of Soul like. to a T. THAT is the lil idiot who got me into anime/manga in the first place, so the nostalgia can often cloud him… but you, you big beautiful brain, YOU did him better than justice. I shall scream from the rooftops if necessitated. he is my Guy and i adore this for him. brilliant you are, just brilliant.

(and in your defense i don’t have them like. super clearly linked bc the virgo in me hates how chaotically organized messy is, but reblogs are so important that the mess is worth it)

#kasey’s clues: the minstrels #to say i’m obsessed would fail to cover the gravity of how much i liked it #i’m literally a broken record. i long for the days of getting paid by the word a la dickens but alas #you’re stuck with me rambling #i can not WAIT to see what else you come up with ryn!!!#i hope you’re having all the fun writing <3

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hockeyboysimagines · 6 months

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So far from the Stars

Chapter 3

Warnings:Language, angst, smut, mentions of bars/alcohol.

Hi all! Hope you enjoy this.

If you haven’t please give a read to @cellythefloshie and I collaboration fic we’ve been working on I’ve loved you three summers -Cool for the summer.

Enjoy!

Sometimes Jeremy wondered just how he found himself in these types of situations.

Was it by design?

Was it punishment?

Was it because his life just sucked?

All three he decided. He’d never been more disgusted than he was right this very minute and he was sure that was being reflected on his face.

The night had been great.

Better than great actually.

Drinks were flowing, the group was having a great time, and Courtney was tucked into his side in a booth at their favorite bar. Though he was still upset about what had happened he was mostly just happy to be hanging out with her again. It was shaping up to be a great night and he had a tiny bit of hope that if she wasn’t too intoxicated by the end of the night, just maybe he could make another move. She’d only had one drink and hadn’t gotten a second. She was sitting closer to him than normal, head resting on his shoulder at one point and he felt like he was on top of the world.

So when he’d left her out of the booth to go to the bathroom he hadn’t expected what was about to happen. Veronica slapped his arm and leaned forward with a wide smile.

“You guys look cozy.” She hummed at him, pushing her glasses up her nose. The others were also looking at him interestedly. That gave him some hope. If they noticed it, then he wasn’t imagining it. He sometimes wondered if maybe he took her being friendly as something else, when really he was just giving himself false hope. But this time others were noticing it too.

He couldn’t help but smile and also leaned over towards her “I have no clue what you’re talking about-“ but didn’t get to finish his sentence before a voice interrupted him.

“Uhm-guys.”

They both turned along with the rest of the group to see Justin frowning. They followed his gaze to find that on her way back from the bathroom she had been intercepted by Brad.

Their eyes all swiveled towards Jeremy as they watched them speak. Courtney looked uncomfortable as she took a step back from him nodding at whatever he was saying and for a minute she was blocked from view until she made her way around him and back to where they were sitting. She looked upset as she approached, a small piece of paper in her hand. Brad was watching as she made her way back, and looked over her shoulder to find them all glaring at him, eyes narrowing when he spotted Jeremy on the end of the table being the only one looking at Courtney.

“What the fuck is he doing here? And what is that?” Justin asked pointing at the paper in her hand.

“He just moved back.” Kasey said, glancing at Veronica who made eyes back, and cleared her throat.

“It’s his- number.” She tossed it on the table “No thanks though.” Even though it had been years, that betrayal still hurt her and it was written all over her face.

“When did he move back? I didn’t know he was back here again did you?” Justin asked Veronica.

“Kasey ran into him the other day, but he- Jeremy? Are you okay?” She asked knocking on the table and then glancing at Courtney.

Jeremy had never been more mad. It was beyond mad. This was rage.

He felt a white hot heat creep up him from his toes to his face, burning up his neck, feeling like he was about to explode. He stared at the paper for a second before his eyes moved slowly up to find her staring at him.

“Hey are you-“

He stood up, knocking over a bottle, causing the others to look at him startled, and cleared his throat “I need some air.”

He made his way out of the bar, taking large steps and burst through the door, the night air hitting his face, cool against his hot skin. Thankfully no one was outside as he let out a loud frustrated “UGH!” Into the night air. He wanted to scream, cry and punch something or someone, Brad preferably, but he didn’t do any of those things because he was in public.

The first two would have to wait till he got home, and the third one he could only hope he’d get the chance at one day.

He couldn’t do this to himself anymore. He just couldn’t. He was at the end of his rope and he’d finally had enough. Even though she’d said she didn’t want his number, he had still once again ruined a time when things with them were going good. Who did he think he was talking to her after what he’d done? He had half a mind to turn right back around and beat the hell out of him for even thinking about her.

He heard the door to the bar open, and footsteps behind him but he didn’t care. Whoever it was would just witness the breakdown he was about to have and it was what it was.

But then he heard his name.

“Jeremy.”

It was Courtney. And because it was her he realized that did care. She was some feet behind him and he quickened his pace. He’d never wanted to get away from her before until now.

“Jeremy!” She called again, closer to him now.

“JEREMY!”

Finally he stopped and whipped around to find her right behind him “What?”

She flinched at his tone and he felt bad. He’d never spoken to her that way and he didn’t want to now, but he was so mad he could barely see straight and it was his own fault.

“Did-did I do something?” She looked confused.

“No you didn’t. It’s something I did. To myself and I should have stopped doing it ages ago.”

“I-what? What do you mean?”

He let out a long breath “ Last weekend you kissed me and I-“

“What?” She frowned, eyes moving around trying to think.

“That-that night we went to the bar. We came back to your house and you kissed me.” He finished quietly, looking at his feet.

“I don’t-“

“Remember yeah I know.” He said, hands in his pockets. He thought that it would feel good to get it off his chest, but if anything it made him feel worse.

“I don’t-Jeremy I-“ her eyes got a little glassy and she reached for his hand, pulling it from his pocket and gripping it “I’m sorry.”

“It’s my fault. I should-I should have told you how I felt years ago but instead I’ve been too afraid of what might happen if I did. That’s on me. I don’t wanna talk about this I wanna go home.” He made to pull his hand from hers but she didn’t let go. He turned and looked at her annoyed.

“Wait a minute.” She was frowning now “I’m sorry I don’t remember, but you never told me how you felt. That’s not my fault.”

He shook his head “I never said it was-“

“You didn’t have to. If you had told me-“

“What?” He said once again attempting to tug his hand from hers but she held on tighter “Would it have changed anything?”

“I don’t know. I mean maybe-“

“No it wouldn’t have and you know it.”

She raised her eyebrows “No I don’t know it. And how the hell was I supposed to know all this? You had girlfriends, and hookups, and you wanna give me a hard time for not wanting to be with you?” Now she looked angry and he didn’t blame her. He knew he was being dumb, that all of that wasn’t her fault but it didn’t make him any less mad about it. He couldn’t be any more mad at himself than he already was so he would be mad at her.

“Didn’t I make it obvious?”

“No no no. I’m not a mind reader. If you wanted me to know you should have and could have told me, not kept it to yourself just to use it against me later.”

He shook his head “That’s not-“

“Yes it is. That’s exactly what you’re doing and you know it.”

He glanced down at her hand, fingers tightly gripping his and then back up at her with a frown “I don’t wanna fight with you. Please let go of my hand.”

She frowned deeper and shook her head “No.”

“Courtney-“ he said exasperatedly. He just wanted to leave and go be mad in his own house where no one could judge him or tell him he was being stupid.

“I said-No.” She took a step closer to him, tugging his hand to pull him closer until she was eye level with his chin and looked up at him.

“What are you doing?” He looked everywhere but at her, knowing that as soon as he did he wouldn’t be mad, and even though he was 100% wrong he didn’t want to admit it.

“Look at me.”

He huffed and stiffened as he felt her tug at his hand again to get his attention and when he didn’t look she reached up suddenly and grabbed him by the chin. He was startled, eyes locking on hers. She stared at him for a second before she leaned forward pausing, eyes still on his.

Fuck it.

He moved the rest of the way, catching her mouth in a very heated kiss, hand coming to tangle in her hair. He ran his tongue across her bottom lip, and she opened her mouth allowing him to push it inside. She felt a chill run up her spine that had nothing to do with the balmy weather and a feelings she’d never had settle in the pit of her stomach, as he wrapped one of his hands around the back of her neck. She was gripping his jacket as they stood kissing on the sidewalk for several seconds before they broke apart.

She looked at him for a second, the fabric of his shirt balled up in her fists before she said very quietly “Can we leave?”

He glanced behind her to find that their friends hadn’t come to investigate and nodded, hand still on the back of her neck.

“Come on.”

20 minutes later he was unlocking his front door and allowing her to walk past him to get inside. The minute she stepped over the threshold and the door closed the air in the room changed. He shut the foot behind him and locked it, following her as she began to step forward.

He was so nervous his hands were shaking and any of the confidence he had earlier outside the bar was gone now. He’d watched her walk through his house hundreds of times, but never to his bedroom. It was dark, and he left the light off, watching as she pulled the curtain open the tiniest bit to let in some of the light outside and turned to him.

He leaned against the door frame and watched as she pulled her jacket off, and draped it over the chair by the window, before she shook out her hair. She looked ethereal, half illuminated and motioned for him to come closer.

He made his way slowly across the room, half afraid she might suddenly change her mind, until he was nearly pressed up against her. He reached a hand forward to stroke her cheek, and tangled his fingers in her hair.

She was even more dazzling up close like this, and he got lost in her eyes for a second before he leaned down and pushed his lips sweetly up against hers. It was slower than it had been 20 minutes ago, and though he was nervous, he had gained some confidence now. She wrapped her arms around his neck, as he pulled her closer by the waist, fingers sliding over the soft fabric of her sweater. He moved his hands down her waist to the small of her back, fingers moving over her cool skin where her shirt had ridden up and she gave a little shiver, as he pulled it up slowly and she raised her arms above her head. Her hair was tousled and messy around her back and shoulders, a deep blush across her cheeks. He watched as she sucked in a long breath, and pulled him back to her, hands reaching to pull his own shirt off.

He backed her up against his bed, sitting her down gently but she stopped him when he gave her a gentle nudge down. With shaking hands she reached forward and unbuckled his belt and then sprung the button on his jeans so he could step out of them, and then stood to undo her own.

He knelt between her legs and peeled them down, hands sliding down over the skin of her legs leaving a trail of goosebumps behind. Her entire body felt like a live wire as he pulled them over her feet. He leaned up and kissed her again, as they moved backwards together over the bed, and he situated himself between her legs. His skin felt warm against hers as he knotted a hand in her hair, fingers scratching against her scalp.

Her bra strap slipped off her shoulder and he gripped it with his fingers “Can I take this off?”

She leaned up and he unhooked it, pulling it off and tossing it to the side, before he glanced down between them. Wordlessly she lifted her hips so he could pull her underwear down her legs, and then tugged at the waistband of his boxers.

“Are you sure?” he asked quietly from between her legs. He was looking at her like she’d hung the moon in the sky, and she reached up to run a hand through the longest part of his hair, and nodded with a small smile.

“I’m sure.”

He took a deep breath and leaned down to kiss her very slowly as he pushed inside of her. She sucked in a breath with a small gasp, eyes widening, and then sliding closed slowly before they opened and locked on his. His vision flipped sideways and got fuzzy for a second before she gave the skin on his arms a squeeze, bringing him back down to earth.

Her eyes were huge as she stared at him, never looking away as he pulled out of her and pushed back in. Her nails scraped against his skin as his head fell forward into the crook of her neck, forehead resting against her collarbone. A euphoria like she’d never experienced settled over her, as he ran a hand down her side, fingers gripping the skin of her hip. He picked his head up , lips moving across her neck and jaw until he found her mouth in the dark.

She was dizzy as he kissed her till she couldn’t breathe but she never wanted him to stop. His skin felt feverish under her fingers as she grazed them up his spine, a thin sheen of sweat had appeared on his back as he moved above her. He was panting in her ear, forearm braced on the bed by her head.

“Courtney.” He breathed, but she silenced him by kissing him, a heat settling in her stomach that began to spread. She broke away from him for a second, breath coming out ragged as he began to push faster, hand resting at the base of her throat. She gripped his skin, nails sliding over the sweat as her legs started to shake and she began to orgasm.

It was beautiful to fall over the edge with him. He kissed her right through it, wrapping her up in his arms. She felt like she was levitating as his movement slowed and his weight pressed down on top of her. Her heart was beating loud, but slow, and mixed in with his as they laid there wrapped up in each other.

After a moment of silence when the breathing had slowed he picked up his head to look at her. He was smiling so sweetly at her she couldn’t help but smile back.

“Are you-okay?” He asked finally.

“I’m good. Are you?”

He nodded and cleared his throat, pulling out and laying next to her. He pulled the blanket up so she could cover her chest with with and settled in on his side next to her, eyes peering into her own.

“What?” She asked.

She looked so beautiful, messy hair, smudged liner, sheet pulled up in his bed, a place he never thought he’d see her. His emotions were running high and he could barely speak in full sentences but he managed a soft “Your beautiful.”

She smiled softly and reached forward to push a strand of hair off his forehead, before she scorched forward and pressed a very chaste kiss to his lips.

“Are you going to stay?”

“Do you want me to?”

He nodded and grinned, patting the bed and chuckling a little as she wriggled down under the blankets next to him. His eyes slid closed and his body got heavy but he waited until her own eyes closed. He wanted to touch her, hold her, pull her close but he laid there just watching her, wondering if this was a dream until his eyes got too heavy to keep open.

Courtney wasn’t sleeping.

She waited until she heard his breath even out and then opened her eyes to find him sleeping, lips slightly parted, one arms under his head and the other resting across his side.

She sat up and looked down at him, reaching a tentative hand out to stroke the side of his face. He didn’t stir, and she eased off the bed, pulling her clothing on. She gave him one last look before she made her way quietly through the house and out the door.

The alcohol had worn off long ago, and the night air covered her up more than she already was. Her body felt like rubber as she slipped into her car and started it, backing out and pulling on to the street quickly so she could be gone in case he woke up.

Roads were empty, the occasional car passing her as she reached her house. Her legs felt heavy and she sat in her idling car for a moment before she slowly got out and made her way inside. Her house was quiet, just the creaking of the floor as she walked to her bedroom, leaving the lights off.

She sat on the end of her bed staring at the wall. The only sound to be heard was the ticking of the clock from her living room, and the owl that lived in the tree outside her window.

She felt bad leaving like that, and she knew when he woke up and she was gone he’d be upset. But she couldn’t stay there. She felt like she was suffocating and couldn’t believe what she had done. She absently pulled at the hole in the knee of her jeans and sniffled, eyes moving across the room to the picture she had of them.

She loved Jeremy with all her heart. She had always taken him and his friendship with her for granted, and now that she knew he’d felt this way about her for all those years she felt terrible. He had watched her with Brad and kept quiet because he wanted to make her happy. He’d do anything to make her happy. A tear ran down her cheek and she brushed it away.

Not only was she going to lose him but over something so stupid. He was the best person she knew, and she was hurting him every single day and even though she didn’t know it, her relationship with him felt tainted. Like she’d ruined it without even trying, because she didn’t deserve him. He was so kind, so sweet and too pure for someone like her who was so blinded by dating other guys, and a stupid high school boyfriend who never gave a shit about her that she couldn’t see Jeremy waiting there, heart in hand all these years.

That fact was staring her right in the face. She tipped over sideways and another tear ran down her nose. Her heart hurt, and her lungs felt like they were deflating as she started to cry. She was dizzy, and nauseated thinking of the end of Jeremy in her life.She had ruined this, just like everything else.

Across town,Jeremy turned over and made to wrap his arm around Courtney. Last night had been amazing, and his heart felt so full it could burst, but he paused when he felt the bed was empty and cold. He lifted his head and looked around.

It was early, the sun wasn’t quite rising yet, but it was light enough that he could see she wasn’t in the room. He threw the blanket off and stood. He didn’t want to panic. Maybe she was in the bathroom, getting water, in the living room.

“Courtney?” He called out as he walked through his house. When she didn’t answer, he looked out the front window to find her car was gone.

He felt a sharp pain in his chest, like the puncture of an arrow that had been shot straight through his heart, and he let out a long breath and closed his eyes.

Courtney was gone.

Everything he had been afraid of had finally come true because he’d said his feelings out loud. Things why he’d kept it to himself all these years. Now she was gone, out of his house and his life maybe forever. He’d never been in more pain. He thought about calling, getting in his car and driving to her place but he couldn’t move. His feet may as well have been glued to the floor.

He braced a hand on the doorframe and squeezed his eyes shut.

What had he done?

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feyhunter78 · 10 months

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Chapter Nine - After you confess you hope your boyfriend cheats on you, your lips find themselves a bit too close to Miguel's. Ch 10

“I hope he sleeps with Kasey.” The words come tumbling out of your mouth before you can stop them, and the look on Miguel’s face would almost make you laugh if you didn’t feel so terrible about what you just admitted.

“Y/N, what?” Miguel asks, dumbfounded, blinking rapidly at you.

“I hope he sleeps with her, then I’d have a legitimate reason to break up with him.” You explain, hoping it makes you sound less insane.

You’ve thought about this a lot, almost getting excited when he goes out with his friends, secretly wishing he’d call you drunk and confess so you could make a big scene, dump him, and move on. No one would blame you; no one would say you made up reasons not to like him, the cheating would be reason enough.

“Mi dulce, any reason is legitimate, if you’re not happy, you need to do what’s best for you.” Miguel says.

And you know he’s right, but you still can’t accept it, can’t put it into motion because for all the times you hated Todd there were times when you loved him.

“I know, but it would be so much easier if he just cheated.” You ball up your burger wrapper and tuck it in the bag you both were using for trash. “Maybe I should just cheat, then I can say I had to end it with him out of remorse.”

Miguel turns his head, putting his milkshake next to yours in the cupholder, his pupils blown wide, attempting to take in as much light as possible. “It would technically be easier.”

“But I really don’t want to be a cheater or at least not an active one, it feels worse to go into it with the intention of cheating.”

Your brain unhelpfully supplies you with memories of your dream, of Miguel on his knees, between your legs, begging you to come for him. You look at Miguel, he’s still in his work clothes, you both are. Your mouth fills with saliva at the thought of what hides behind those black slacks, the thick outline you glimpsed for only a moment.

“Everyone has different definitions of cheating, though, have you discussed them with Todd?” Miguel asks, shifting his weight, his legs spreading a bit wider.

You feel like a total horndog for the way your eyes flicker down to follow the movement.

“Not really, besides the obvious, sleeping with someone else is cheating.”

“What about other things?”

You tilt your head. “Other things? Like porn or…?”

Miguel chuckles, “no dulce, such as kissing, sharing a bed, a drink, or oral, those other things.”

Another flash of memories, of the way Miguel rutted into the couch, his tongue, and fingers curled inside you, thick dark hair beneath your fingertips.

“Oh um, for me, I think most of those would be cheating? I guess it depends on the context, besides oral, which obviously that’s cheating.”

He leans forward, curious, his full attention on you, and it’s nice. He hasn’t looked at his phone once, though Miguel isn’t often on his phone when you two spend time together, you appreciate that about him. How he always acts as if there’s nowhere else he’d rather be than with you. “In what context would sharing a bed be okay?”

“I feel like if there’s no other bed, and the floor is dirty or crowded. One person on top of the blankets, the other under, both clothed.”

He nods, and he’s closer now, you can see the flecks of gold in his eyes, the thick lashes surrounding them. “Makes sense, a drink?”

“Well maybe it’s just me, but I share, food, drinks, I don’t mind letting my friends have a taste of what I’m having, or ordering. So, as long as it’s just a sip, or you know, sharing water when there’s no other water to be found, I don’t think it’s a big deal.”

Miguel gently brushes a lock of hair back from your face, his fingers lingering for a moment, sliding down until his wrist rests on the crook of your shoulder, his warm hand cradling the back of your neck.

Your breath catches in your throat, your heart skipping a beat, eyes dropping to his lips, your fingers digging into his white button-up shirt.

“And a kiss?” His words are soft, slow, hushed, and time stands still, his thumb caressing the nape of your neck keeping you grounded.

“Maybe during a silly game, if I was there, and knew that nothing shady was going on, or you know to comfort someone you kiss them on the cheek or the forehead or…” You trail off, head tilting subconsciously, eyes fluttering.

“Or?” Miguel asks, his own eyes half lidded.

“I don’t know, I never really liked kissing, so—”

“You have not been kissed well, then.” Miguel is a mere hairsbreadth from you, lips brushing against yours with each word.

“I don’t think I have been.” Your voice has a breathless tone, you can hear it, but you don’t care. You’ve always loved the kissing scenes in books and movies, but kissing Todd felt off, felt wrong, you never felt a spark or even any semblance of satisfaction from it.

Miguel’s voice rolls over you, rich velvet, warm melted chocolate, honeyed wine, and a gentle summer breeze all wrapped into two sentences, which ensnared your senses. “Mi tesoro, ¿puedo besarte? Solo una vez, lo necesito.” Trsl: My treasure, can I kiss you? Just once, please, I need it.

“You always do that.” You whine, voice still soft like Miguel’s, too afraid to shatter the moment.

“Do what?” He asks, and you can feel his smile, a teasing lilt in his voice.

“Speak Spanish to me, and then never tell me what you said.” Your free hand disobeys you. It should push you away from Miguel, but instead it tangles itself in his hair, keeping you further anchored to him.

“Engañarlo conmigo, bésame, fóllame, lo que quieras, por favor. Aceptaré lo que sea.” His tone is desperate, and you feel his lips press to your skin. But not where you want them, just to the corner of your lips, then your cheek, your nose, your closed eyelids. Trsl: Cheat on him with me, kiss me, fuck me, anything, please. I’ll take anything you give me/I'll accept whatever.

You can’t stop yourself, the emotions of the day overtaking you, your frustration with your failing relationship, your desire for Miguel, for the gentleness he shows you. Screw it, if it doesn’t work out, you’ll go get a job with Kasey, she seemed nice enough.

“Miguel, will you kiss me?” You internally cringe at how needy you sound, but when Miguel exhales, and captures your lips with his, you don’t care how you sound.

It’s perfect, his lips are soft, smooth, warm. He keeps to short pecks, lingering brushes, and when you tug on his hair pulling him closer, he moans against you deepening the kiss. The sound like that of a cello, deep and full, piercing through your skin and finding a home between your ribs.

The world turns upside down, a fervent need filling you, but Miguel refuses to hurry, to give into your demands. He is slow, languid, careful, your head is spinning. He tastes like the strawberry milkshake he was drinking, and you can smell his cologne, your brain finally, blissfully quiet.

A harsh knock on the window behind you startles you, and you jolt away from Miguel.

“Hey lovebirds, pack it up.” A security guard with his large flashlight stands outside Miguel’s car.

Miguel raises a hand and give the man an apologetic smile while reality sinks in around you.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, I have to leave.” You say, running a hand through your hair, trying to push Miguel’s arm off you.

Miguel tightens his grip on the back of your neck, not to scare or hurt you, but to keep you in place. “Y/N, y/n, y/n, slow down, it’s okay.”

“No, Miguel, I—we shouldn’t have done that, I know what I said, but I—”

“It’s okay, I won’t tell anybody, this doesn’t have to change anything. I was just comforting you, yeah?” He smooths his hand down your arm, eyes soft, tone reassuring.

You purse your lips and nod. “Yeah, yeah, sure that’s—I should go.”

Miguel hums in acknowledgment, and slowly removes his hands, unlocking the door for you.

You scramble out, grabbing your things, face burning, stomach churning, sick with a strange cocktail of arousal and guilt. “I’ll, uh, I’ll let you know when I get home?”

“Please do.”

You hold the car door for a moment, “and Miguel, thanks for dinner, and… for comforting me, it was really nice.”

That Don Juan smile is back. “Anything for you.”

TL: @obi-mom-kenobi, @poutysprouty, @oharasfilipinawife, @laysmt, @cicithemess, @unabashedcroissanttreefan, @lynxslokley, @thedevax, @generalkenobitrash, @keiva1000

#meg's writing #miguel o'hara x reader #AHHHHH I LOVED WRITING THIS CHAPTER #miguel ohara x reader #morgue miguel #miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara x y/n #miguel ohara x you #miguel ohara x y/n #vampire!au #vamp!au #vamp!miguel

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platinumaspiration · 2 years

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The Final Haul

The last of the hair requests to cap off 2022. I hope you all like them!

For the anon who requested Ataka hair - sorry, that one didn’t work out. I hope the other two will suffice!

Download Them All - SFS / MF Pick 'n' Choose - SFS / MF

details under the cut

credit: @simandy @semplicesims @okruee @serenity-cc @dogsill @birksche @jny-sims @silversims @aloeislandsims @buzzardly28

#4t2 #4t2 hair #sims 4t2 #4t2cc #ts2cc #s2cc #the sims 2 #s2cc hair #s2hair #sims 2 hair #download #dl:h #dl:mh #dl:fh

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the-shy-ler · 6 months

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I did a lot of talking with friends this morning about my reasons for leaving Tumblr, and was met with lots of support.

I was leaving because of a situation that occurred which I thought was entirely my fault, even finding myself deserving of some of the horrible names I was called.

It is through the support of my friends who've assured me that I'm not the horrible person I think I am that I've decided to stay. I was in a tremendously horrible headspace this morning when I made my rash decision.

I feel better hearing from so many who know me and know I would never do what I was accused of, so a shoutout to all of my wonderful friends who took the time to make sure I was okay. Looks like I'll be here for a little while longer guys, hope you can put up with me 😅🫶

Thank you @giggleesblog @daisylovestickles @yourgigglebugmaya @yourfavlee and @idreamofticklehugs

And especially thank you @kasey-writes-stuff for always seeing me at my best self even while I'm at my worst.

All of you are worth more to me than you'll ever know.

(p.s. very sorry about the emotional shock from this morning meaning nothing 🥺👉👈)

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lumosinlove · 1 year

Text

Vaincre

May part five

cw: mentions of injury & recovery (nothing graphic)

Thanks for waiting y'all! It means so much that you stick with me. I'm gonna do smaller sections so I can post more frequently. Expect the next part up in a couple of days. All the love!! <3

The hospital lights were bright.

Alex didn’t like to remember that about them, but he looked down at his own pale thighs in his shorts and watched how the lights traced out every single blue vein. It made him feel more vulnerable than he cared for at that moment. He didn’t want to think about Finn laid out under a machine, waiting to hear how long it might take him to heal. That was the thing with heads. Bones had an end date: Six weeks, maybe four. Heads, however, came with mights. Might be a few months. Might be more.

Their dad was trying to get their mom to sit down, to rest. She looked just as pale in this awful light. Tear tracks on her cheeks, hand on her chest as if she could press her heart into calmness. They all—all three of them, Finn, Alex, their dad—had always hated it when she cried.

Kasey, asleep beside him in the chair now, had handed him this cup of coffee at some point. His was holding himself stiffly in sleep. Alex could tell he was in some sort of pain. Maybe from the game.

Alex wasn’t sure how long he had been holding the coffee, only that his fingers were numb from leeching the burning heat out of the flimsy cardboard. He reached out and settled careful fingers over Kasey’s old injury, wishing he could leech the pain away, too. Natalie was on the phone down the hall—maybe with Celeste Dumais. Or Lily Potter.

Logan and Leo. He didn’t see them in the waiting room.

Alex set the coffee down beneath his chair and turned to stroke a hand through Kasey’s hair. Brown eyes opened to him, tired but trying not to be.

“Did I fall asleep?” Kasey asked.

“Just for a minute.” Alex pressed a kiss to his temple. “Be right back.”

“Want me to come?” Kasey cleared his throat. He made the chair looks so small, and Alex caught the twinge of pain in his face when he moved his legs.

“No, I’m just—no, it’s okay.” He looked back towards Natalie. “You two should get home. I hope I won’t be too much longer.”

“Alex.” Kasey rubbed at his eyes then sat forward. “If you think we’re going anywhere right now, you’re an absolute insane person.”

“Seconded.”

They both looked up at Natalie, walking towards them and sliding her phone into her back pocket.

“Celeste?” Kasey asked.

“It was Sirius actually,” Natalie said. “Checking in. This is not the time, nor the place, but that man sounds extremely sexy on the phone.”

Alex cracked the barest of a smile. He stood, suddenly feeling like it would burn him through and through if he stayed still for one more second. “Does he now?”

Natalie just kissed his cheek. “Not nearly as good as you. Only, I prefer hearing your voice face to face.”

“IRL?” Alex asked. He pushed his hands in his pockets and tried to figure out how to stop his throat from closing up when he caught another glimpse of his mom’s face.

“No one says IRL,” Natalie said softly, but her eyes were flicking all over his face. “Alex—”

“I’m gonna go check on him,” Alex said, and turned away fast before she could see anything else he didn’t want her to.

The hospital lights remained just as bright down the hallway and—oh. There they were. Leo was sitting on a chair outside of Finn’s room. Logan was leaning against the opposite wall, glaring at the shut door like he could open it with his gaze alone.

“Hey,” Leo stood when he caught sight of him. He looked tired, shoulders slumped down. “Sorry, we just…” Leo sent a glance at Logan, who hadn’t moved. Hadn’t so much as blinked. “We’re feeling like the waiting room’s a little too far away right now, so…”

“Isn’t that cute,” Alex said and that got him a darting glare from Logan. Alex smiled tightly at Leo, resting a hand on his shoulder. “You guys okay? Need anything?”

“To get inside,” Logan grumbled pointedly, just as the door opened and the doctor slipped through. Logan stood straight, every muscle in him straining forward as the doctor shut the door again. She turned and her eyes hesitated on Alex.

“You’re twins?” she asked.

“Brothers,” Alex said faintly.

“Ah. Well, you can go in and see him now.” She smiled sympathetically and began walking down the hallway towards the waiting room. “He’s a talker, that one, isn’t he?”

Alex felt something that he thought was relief flood through him. He heard Leo let out a breath.

“Yeah,” Leo said. “Yeah, he is.”

Logan pushed off of the wall, and Alex barely got a hand on his chest to stop him before his hand was on the doorknob.

“Alex,” Logan said, hovering between demanding and questioning.

“Listen,” Alex said. “I know you…I know it’s…” Alex shut his eyes. They were so dry from the air that it hurt. “Can I just have a second with him? Please.”

Logan looked like he was going to protest. The look in his eyes was almost anger, or maybe frustration, but Leo stepped forward.

“Of course,” he said, and took Logan’s hand, pulling him a step back. “Of course you can. We’ll wait.”

Alex looked at him. Blue eyes. Leo hadn’t been there for so much of it, of Finn’s hurt and Logan’s ache, but he seemed to understand somehow. Alex felt a sort of kinship to him in that way. Somehow, despite the odds, both of them had become the missing halves to, not one, but two people who had already made a whole.

“Thank you,” Alex said softly, then looked at Logan. “Tremz, thanks. Really.”

Logan still didn’t look happy about it, but he nodded. He covered Leo’s hand entirely with both of his own.

No more bright lights. Not in this room. There was a soft, unobtrusive light for the doctors to see by, but that was all.

“Doesn’t it remind you of the kind that line the aisles on airplanes?” Finn’s voice said from the bed. “You know? The emergency ones.”

Alex nodded. “Mhm.”

“It’s you, Al, right?”

“Mhm,” Alex said.

“Hm,” Finn said. “Quite the game, Hazard.”

“Hazard,” Jack began to say in the locker room. He looked wrecked after the game.

Alex shook his head. “Don’t talk to me.”

Jack walked forward, at least he tried to. Will stopped him with a hand on his chest. It wasn’t aggressive. That wasn’t Will’s way. Will gave a small shake of his head, but Jack kept talking.

“It was an accident. I—okay, but I didn’t mean to hit him that hard. I thought he’d brace himself, he saw me coming—”

“I said don’t talk to me.” Alex said, then he shouldered past Logan and stepped up until all that separated him and Jack was Will’s palm. “For as long as you’re here, and I don’t think that will be for much longer, don’t talk to me.”

Jack’s eyes were wide, and for all his skill, he looked about twelve years old in that moment. With the sneer that crossed his face, a short disbelieving smile.

“We…” Jack shook his head. “But we won the game.”

It took everything in Alex to not hurt him, and most of Logan’s strength, too, when he got his arms around Alex’s, pinning them down before he could raise his fist any higher. Jack still flinched. At least Jack still flinched.

“We shouldn’t,” Logan breathed shakily, mouth close to Alex’s ear. “Alex. Alex, we shouldn’t.”

Alex cursed and shook Logan and Will off.

“We won the game,” Alex parroted under his breath, and then slammed a hand against his stall. “Get the fuck out of my sight, Archer.”

Finn didn’t look horrible, which was good. He looked more relaxed than Alex had anticipated. Aside from the sling, he would have looked almost normal. He had one knee bent, foot planted on the hospital bed. He had the hood of his sweatshirt up—Rangers blue—and after a moment of thinking of Logan, Alex realized it was his own.

Finn caught him looking and plucked at it with his good hand. “Think it’s bad luck? Mom brought it to me.”

Alex, just looked at him. It was the hood up maybe, mussing his hair. Or the socked feet. Or the tiredness all over his face. Something was making Finn look younger than he really was, something was making Alex feel like he was looking at his kid brother again, leaving Finn at home for the NHL. Getting this call.

Finn’s mouth pulled to the side and he smoothed the logo. “I don’t think it is. I like it.”

Those short sentences he’d been saying since he was eight. So sure of himself. The pizza on Prince street is better. That girl smiled at me. She likes me. So damn sure of everything. Logan had been the first to shake him out of the habit. Maybe Alex was a little angry with him about that, or at least he had been at one time.

Alex nodded. He walked forward to stand at the edge of Finn’s bed. There was a chair there but he didn’t sit. He reached out and tugged the hood more firmly over Finn’s hair, making him laugh.

“I’m good, Al,” Finn said. “Really.”

Alex didn’t reply. He just sat on the edge of the bed and waited half a second for Finn to get the message before laying down. He hugging his little brother as hard as he dared. He felt Finn push into his hold, the same way he had at five when having a nightmare, at fourteen when Alex was leaving, at nineteen when everything seemed wrong, and everything seemed right, but Alex just couldn’t figure out what.

“Al,” Finn said. It was an awkward position, but he managed to get his good arm around Alex’s back. “Al, I’m fine, I promise. Even the doctor said—”

“Just let me,” Alex whispered hoarsely. “Just be quiet and let me fucking worry about you.”

Finn melted a little more against him. “Okay. All right.”

Alex couldn’t help the hitching sob that he let out against Finn’s shoulder, and he felt Finn’s fingers curl in his hair.

“It’s okay,” Finn whispered. “It’s okay…”

“You can’t do that to me,” Alex managed, fisting the sweatshirt against Finn’s back. “You can’t do that to me, you can’t…”

“I know, I know,” Finn said softly. “Al, I’m sorry. I love you, I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t apologize.” Alex sniffed and pressed a hard kiss to Finn’s temple. “You’re just like—you just didn’t move. And you’re my…”

“Al…” Finn turned on his a little more onto his good side so that his hand beneath Alex could pat at his back. Alex was probably crushing it but he didn’t care just then. “You’re gonna make me cry.”

“You’re my baby brother and I love you so much,” Alex said. “And I can’t protect you from anything.”

And maybe that was it. Harvard, Logan, hockey. If only they had talked about it.

“Stop,” Finn said when Alex turned his face into his sweatshirt. “Stop, yes you can. You always do.”

Alex made a sound that made them both laugh wetly.

“Were there words in there?” Finn asked.

“Not really.” The door opened, a quiet snick of a sound, and Alex whispered to Finn, “Thought Tremz was gonna kill me for keeping him—”

“Oh, my boys,” their mother’s voice said softly. Not Logan and Leo then. “Rams, honey, shut out that hallway light.”

The door closed again and Alex looked up in time to see his mom stroke a hand down Finn’s cheek.

“How are you, baby?”

Finn, his good hand trapped under Alex, just leaned into her palm. “I’m okay, mom. I promise.”

Haley just narrowed her eyes skeptically. “You’d say you were okay if there was an astroid hurdling towards you.” She turned to Alex, petting a hand through his hair. “Are you okay? My slightly older baby.”

Alex just kept his face half-hidden in Finn’s sweatshirt, glad for the dim light.

“We’ll be okay soon,” Finn said for him. “How’s that?”

“I guess good enough,” Ramsey said, and walked forward and put a hand on Finn’s knee. “Your boys are outside. Logan looks like he’s about to turn into the Hulk.”

“Aw shucks,” Finn smiled.

“Probably because he knows I’m in his spot,” Alex managed, and his mother gave him a knowing look at the sound of recently shed tears in his voice. Alex pushed himself up and looked down at Finn.

“My hand's asleep from your big butt,” Finn said.

Alex rolled his eyes, wiped at his cheeks, and stood.

“The doc just doesn’t want too many people in here,” Haley said. “We promised we’d take turns. Now, I’m gonna get you some water—or maybe something to eat?” She looked at Alex. “Honey, Nat and Kasey are in the waiting room, they said—”

“I… What? I told them they could go home,” Alex said.

Finn snorted, then groaned a little, closing his eyes. “As if they’d go anywhere without you.”

“Especially tonight,” Haley said, petting a hand through Finn’s hair again. “You’re burning up, baby.”

Alex looked towards the door, frowning. “Still. I said it was all right.”

“It’s always like this,” Finn said to his mom, then opened his eyes and looked at Alex. “Maybe they could see that it wasn’t all right.”

“It is,” Alex said. “They’re probably tired.”

“They know you need them right now.”

Haley looked between them for a moment. Alex met her eyes. He watched them drop to his chest and looked down to see that he was fiddling with Kasey’s diamond.

“You’re okay,” Alex said. He wiped at his face. “We’re fine. I’m fine.”

“Leo sees right through me all the time,” Finn said. “Think of it like that.”

“Well.” Haley sighed. “Why don’t I send him right in here, then,” She rose from the bed and put her arms around Alex. “So he can see through your okays just like you’re seeing through your brother’s.”

Logan was in the past, Leo could see it all over his face. There was no part of him actually in the hallway right then. He was back in the limbo that he and Finn went to sometimes. The spaces in between the hurt and the healing. The memories and the moments. All Leo could do was lean against the wall next to him and watch his face as they both listened to the faint murmurs of the O’Hara’s voices.

“He’s doing fine, sweetheart,” Leo said. “He’s just got his family in there, that’s all.”

“We’re his family.”

“Lo.”

“I know. Sorry.” Logan turned, pushing off the wall. He settled his hands under Leo’s sweatshirt on his hips. He tilted his head up to press a kiss to the underside of his jaw. “I’m just…”

Leo took Logan’s face in his hands, admiring the way his cheeks filled his palms. “Me too.”

“I’m glad we can be like this,” Logan whispered. “Here. Now. Under these stupid bright lights.”

Leo pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Yeah. I don’t know what I’d do if I couldn’t hold you like this right now.” He looked over Logan’s head at the closed door. “I want to hold him right now.”

Logan closed his eyes and Leo couldn’t help but kiss his forehead again. His eyelids, then his nose. He pictured an eighteen year old Logan in a hospital like this one, waiting in the hallway. You’re his teammate? Family only for now, honey.

“Lo?”

Logan looked up at him.

“What was it like? The first time.”

Logan sighed and Leo moved his palms down to settle around his waist. “It’s…”

Logan blinked, and Leo watched him go to the past again. Far away. He tensed in his hold. Leo hated it, he hated everything about that look on Logan’s face, but he wanted to know. He needed to know. It had been so long since he felt behind the two of them. A strange feeling, left behind in the present while they went back to the past.

“Lo,” Leo whispered. “Please. I need to know—”

The door clicked open and Haley appeared first, turned back towards the bed and blowing a kiss with her hand. “We’ll see you tomorrow, baby, okay? Please rest.”

Leo had thought Finn would be asleep. Or groggy. Too exhausted to speak in something above a whisper. The sheer weight of worry on his back broke when he heard Finn’s laugh from inside the room. He felt Logan sway against him.

“Okay, Mom,” Finn’s voice came. “I love you guys.”

Haley turned and, even though she looked like she had been crying, she took in Leo and Logan, wrapped up together, and smiled. “He’s dying to see you two.”

“Usually its you who finds me down here.”

Remus stopped hard on his skates near the center of the synthetic ice, sweat shining in the dim basement lights. Sirius had thought he was coming to bed. He had sat upstairs until he realized that there were no more sounds coming from the kitchen. Regulus was in his room. All that was left was the rink downstairs.

Sirius looked down, letting Remus take his time. Remus’ phone was on the edge of the boards. There was a video lighting up the screen. A press conference. Jack Archer. Sirius didn’t need to hit play. He’d seen it, but he hadn’t even needed to do that. They’d all heard him begging Leo in the hallway. It was an accident. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I thought he’d brace himself. It’s hockey—

“Whatever it was,” Remus said. “There was purpose behind it. That’s what I think.”

Sirius looked up. Remus had silently made his way over. He was wearing one of Sirius’ sweatshirts, thumb poking through a hole in one of the sleeves. He spun his stick before letting it drop to the ground with a clatter.

“Sounds like Leo does, too,” Remus said. “At least there are no secrets that need keeping this time. Not like it was with…”

Fenrir.

“Re,” Sirius said softly.

“It’s not about me,” Remus said. He pushed himself over the boards, one leg, then the other, but before he could touch the ground Sirius stepped between his dangling skates. He settled his hands on Remus’ hips to keep him in place.

Remus had his eyes on Sirius’ sweatshirt. It was from their Cup day. Rainbow taped sticks crossed over the Cup’s silhouette. “We should go to bed, we have a flight tomorrow. We have a game.”

“Not until you look at me,” Sirius said.

Remus widened his eyes, honey-colored in this light, and looked right at Sirius. “I am looking at you.”

“Re,” Sirius said.

Slowly, Remus’ face relaxed and he let his forehead drop forward onto Sirius’ shoulder.

“We lost.”

“We’re tied.” Sirius kissed Remus’ neck, then knelt in front of him. He set one skate on his thigh and began to undo the laces. “And you need to rest. We need you out there.”

Remus watched his hands work. He got through one skate and pulled it off gently, taking a moment to rub the arch of Remus’ foot, to dig his thumb around his ankle bones.

“Remember you doing this with my injury,” Sirius said. He drew off the tight compression sock and rubbed over the red lines it left behind in Remus’ skin. “I used to dream about it. About your hands.”

Remus’ smile was small. “Used to?”

Sirius reached forward and took one of Remus’ palms to kiss. “Don’t have to dream about it anymore, do I?”

He took to the other skate. Loosening the laces, easing it off.

“Did you hear anything more with Finn?” Remus asked. “Or Leo?”

“He’s doing okay, I talked to Natalie,” Sirius said. “And Leo…” I didn’t expect you to be happy. Sirius had only known one true love in his life, but he knew a troubled love when he saw one, easily. Jack was that. He and James had shared a look in the locker room. Should I go say we can hear them? Sirius had silently asked. James had shaken his head, meaning, I think that might make it worse.

“Sometimes, I wish it was just about the game,” Remus said softly when he was barefoot. “But it feels like so much more than that.”

Sirius rose and let Remus wrap his arms around his neck so he could ease him down from the boards. Remus locked their fingers together as they walked up the stairs.

“Would the game be the game if there wasn’t more to it than a ball and a stick?” Sirius shrugged. “I don’t think so.”

“I’ve been thinking about Kasey,” Remus said.

Sirius nodded. “Keep wondering when he’s going to tell the team.”

“Do you think about it?” Remus asked hesitantly. “What you would do…after?”

Sirius had never liked that word. After. He used to question its existence. His father had not settled into a good after. Retirement was never a word he used. There was always work to be done, always someone else who had wronged him, always another step to take.

Then again, his father had never gotten exactly what he wanted. Not in his career. Maybe in his wife, but Sirius would never know for sure. Not in his sons. Not in his legacy.

“I used to not be able to think about it,” Sirius said. They entered the kitchen and he went to the refrigerator to fill up a cup of water from the filter. “I thought my life would end.”

He slid the glass over to Remus and leaned against the counter beside him.

“Watching Finn go down, I thought about it,” Sirius said. “I mean, everyone thinks about it. It can be over in a second. All of it.” Sirius rubbed a thumb over Remus’ cheek. “I know I don’t have to tell you that.”

“It’s okay,” Remus said. He took a greedy drink, then smiled a little sheepishly, like he hadn’t realized how hard he had been skating.

“It used to terrify me.” Sirius smiled a little. “I wanted to play hockey forever, which I can’t do. I liked boys, who I couldn’t have. James was always going to have a family, and I would never be entirely a part of it. And James sometimes felt like the only thing I had, in the beginning days. Re, he and Lils…they took me on so many dates.”

Remus laughed and wrapped his arms around Sirius’ neck. “I remember. We could have been friends earlier, you know. If someone had been a little more…”

Sirius smiled into his kiss. “I was such an ass to you in the beginning.”

“Oh, I remember that, too.” Remus put on what, according to Thomas, was a perfect imitation of his frown, and gave a slightly French lilt to his words. “Oh, you’re an intern? Well, I’ll go to Moody then, but thanks.”

Sirius groaned and dropped his head to Remus’ shoulder. “Don’t remind me.”

Remus just laughed again and pressed a quick burst of kisses to his cheek. He shuffled closer until his bare feet were on top of Sirius’ socked ones. “It’s okay. You’ve done a pretty good job making up for it.”

Sirius rubbed a hand up and down his back slowly and felt Remus settle more against him. They were both tired, eyes closing, swaying in the kitchen.

“Don’t worry about Jack. Don’t watch that interview anymore, mon loup,” Sirius whispered. “Finn’s going to be okay.”

“Hm,” Remus said, then stepped back and took Sirius’ hands, pulling him towards the stairs. “Well. We’ll just have to kick their asses tomorrow night. Game five, baby. We’re two-two.”

Sirius let Remus lead him up to bed. He let Remus sink into his side as they brushed their teeth, and then spoon up against his back once they were under the covers. If this was what after looked like, part of him couldn’t wait.

Finn was sitting up. He pushed the hood of his sweatshirt back when he saw them and smiled. His red hair was soft and falling over his forehead, still sweaty from the game. Leo wanted to cry.

“Boys,” Finn sighed and patted the small space beside him on the bed with his good arm. “Don’t look at me like that. Come here.”

Logan all but collapsed at Finn’s side and Finn’s arm wound around him. Logan took Finn’s chin gently between his thumb and forefinger to steady his face. It looked like he was soaking in as much of that sweet brown color as he could. He was looking for the hurt.

“Don’t lie to me,” Logan whispered as Leo shut the door.

Finn stuck his tongue out until the tip of it touched Logan’s nose, then smiled. Logan didn’t pull away, didn’t even flinch and Finn did it again. Finn looked up at Leo, who was still standing by the door. “Le.”

Leo worried the inside of his lip. “I’ll hurt your shoulder on that side.”

Finn tapped his foot on the end of the bed, then spread his knees. It was a tight fit, but Leo managed to fold himself at the end of the bed. He took Finn’s legs and draped them around his hips, rubbing his thighs.

“Very sexy for a hospital,” Finn said. “Sexy thigh rubbing."

“How are you feeling?” Leo asked. Logan pushed his face into Finn’s neck and Leo and Finn smiled at each other. Finn closed his eyes at the feeling of Logan against him. “You’re guard dog missed you.”

“Don’t lie,” Logan mumbled.

Finn drummed his fingers over Logan’s spine. “Has a single lie come out of my mouth, baby?”

“No,” Leo said. “But we know you. The doctor said you were pretty…”

Finn raised an eyebrow. “She said I was pretty? Damn, she was pretty, too.”

Leo rolled his eyes, but secretly his chest was squeezing with relief. He hadn’t expected this Finn. Joking. He didn’t know if it was normal or because he was putting all of himself into masking the pain he was in.

“Pretty okay,” Leo pinched at his knee. “Is what I was going to say.”

“I am,” Finn said. “I mean, I know I’m on pain killers right now.”

“Yeah, you just licked Logan.”

Finn smiled and looked down until Logan peered out for a kiss. “He likes it. Don’t you, Lolo?”

Logan touched Finn’s fingers where they were poking out of his sling. “Does it hurt though?”

Finn sighed. “Yeah, of course it does. But it will be worse later so I’m hoping to enjoy right now when I don’t feel like my skull is going to fall apart.”

“Don’t say that.” Logan put his fingers to Finn’s lips.

Finn just kissed them. “Haven’t been in a bed this small in a while, hm, Lo?”

Logan’s brow creased. “Non…”

Leo watched them kiss, and he could see it. Harvard. Middle of the night. A terrified Logan, trying not to touch Finn and wanting nothing more than to help him. Leo thought he knew about Harvard, but sometimes when he saw them like this, he wasn’t sure he’d ever know anything at all.

“What about my sunshine?” Finn’s voice drew him out of his mind. Brown eyes, dim light. “Did he miss me?”

Leo swallowed and nodded. “Yeah, he—” His voice broke and he rolled his eyes at himself when he felt a surprising tear escape.

“Aw, Le…” Finn’s brows knit together.

“Sorry, I’m just worried about you.”

Finn’s eyes were sympathetic, and he kept looking at him even as he kissed Logan’s forehead. “Shift change, Lo.”

Logan looked, Leo had to admit, a little reluctant, but he pushed himself up and leaned down for one more kiss.

“It’s okay, Lo, you can stay,” Leo said shakily.

“Non,” Logan said, and before Leo could move he pressed his hand to Leo’s thigh and kissed his cheek. “Just warming it up for you.”

It was warm. Finn tucked Leo right up against his chest. He smelled a little bit like the hospital, but if Leo pressed hard enough (and he did) there was Finn there, too. Logan took Leo’s place, settling on his stomach between Finn’s legs with his arms folded across Finn’s hips.

“Don’t cry, baby,” Finn whispered against Leo’s mouth. “Please don’t cry.”

“I love you,” Leo said thickly. “I’m sorry, I should be comforting you.”

“Shh,” Finn kissed him again, peppering them softly over his cheek. “It’s okay, it’s okay.”

“I’m gonna kill Jack,” Logan said.

“He didn’t do this to me, Lo,” Finn said softly. “It was a hit.”

“We don’t know that,” Logan said, chin against Finn’s chest. In any other situation, he would have looked adorable, feet half off the bed like that. But his green eyes were dark.

“Did you confront him?” Finn asked, eyes on Logan.

Logan rolled his eyes.

“Tremz,” Finn said warningly. “You could get in serious trouble—”

“I broke my helmet,” Logan said. “I didn’t break him.”

Leo felt Finn’s hand tighten around his shoulders. “Logan.”

Leo pressed harder against Finn, watching them.

“I’m right,” Logan pushed himself up, hands on Finn’s hips. Any other time, he would have raised his voice, but he kept it soft in the dark room. Leo still thought he felt Finn wince. “He did this. Finn, he did this to you—”

“I did this,” Leo whispered.

It felt like even the machines beeping around them paused. Leo couldn’t see Finn’s face well, but Logan’s eyes snapped right to his. Leo just turned his face into Finn’s chest and let himself break.

Leo cursed the position of goalie, for once in his life, as he fumbled through the endless straps and buckles of his cumbersome equipment. It didn’t help that his fingers were shaking. Alex, holding Finn’s head on the ice. I’m fine. I’m fine, Le. Deadening silence and collective gasps. Logan, skating hard to catch up and—

Jack. Jack, Jack, Jack—

Leo’s jersey got caught on part of his padding, and it was as good as someone trying to hold him back. Irrational, pure rage fired through his chest and he yanked the fabric hard over his head, ripped at the the velcro of his chest pad. Some part of his mind registered how quiet the Lions locker room was around him. Some part of his mind knew how hard he was breathing, that the motion of tearing off his jersey had slammed his knuckles into his stall on accident. A bruise, probably, would form. But he couldn’t feel anything. He pulled at the laces of his skates, watching his hands shake.

“Leo…”

Kasey’s voice. Leo could hardly hear that, either.

Finn on the ice. So still. One one thousand, two one thousand, three one thousand, four, five—

His pads were splayed out in front of him, around him on the ground. Finn’s stall was empty, and beside it Leo looked for green eyes and Logan and found Kota instead, quiet, not sure what to do. A new shot of anger. Logan, traded. Who would ever do that? Logan had won them a Cup, he was theirs, he was a Lion, Logan was his, he should be here.

“Le, it’s gonna be okay,” Kasey said softly, helping Leo ease the rest of his equipment off with expert, steady hands. “Let me help, okay?”

Jack. Jack. Hey, Le, look, good for you that you never had to feel scared—

Finally, it was all off of him. He didn’t feel any lighter. He locked eyes with Kasey for a long moment. Kasey, against his words, looked as scared as Leo felt. Leo yanked on a pair of sweatpants, didn’t bother to change out of his sweat-soaked shirt, and ran.

He made it five paces before meeting Jack.

Wide-eyes. Sweaty hair, still half in his gear. Even with his skates on, Leo was taller. Leo looked for bruises, blood, something to show him that Logan had gotten to him first. Nothing.

“Leo,” Jack said.

That look on his face. Leo was back in eleventh grade and he’d said something wrong, he’d said something when they were somewhere too bright, too crowded, Leo, what the fuck, what are you doing—

Jack put his hands up. Surrender. As if he even had that right. “Leo.”

Leo hadn’t realized that he had frozen to the spot. Not until Jack started walking forward. Not until he said his name again. Leo, stop it. God, it can’t always be like that. Okay? Shaking his hands off. Stop.

“Leo—”

“No,” Leo said. “No.”

Jack blinked once, again, swallowed hard. “Le…”

“Get out of my way.”

“No—”

“Get out of my way.” He shoved Jack in the chest hard, and when it didn’t feel like enough to watch him stumble backwards, he did it again. Jack just stared at him, bracing himself against the wall. Leo snapped all over again. If those first words had hurt his throat, his next ones tore at him. They were laced with the throb of tears, unshed. He shoved Jack hard a third time and watched the way he winced. “What is—What the hell is wrong with you?”

“No, no,” Jack whispered. “Please, you don’t understand—”

Leo didn’t recognized the sound of pure frustration he made. He wanted to bring something down, Jack, the wall, this entire building.

“What is wrong with you?” he shouted again.

“It was an accident,” Jack said. “He had—” Jack closed his eyes. “I wasn’t—He just folded, he fucking folded, how was I supposed to know? This is hockey.”

“That wasn’t hockey. Finn has a concussion.” Leo wasn’t sure how he knew, but he knew. “This is his third. Did you know that? Did you stop to think about that?”

Jack put a hand over his eyes. “No. No, I—”

“Do you know what three concussions can do to a person? Did you think about that before you fucking snapped and shoved his head into the boards?”

“C’mon, I…” Jack sounded close to tears, too. “C’mon, Le, that’s not what happened, please—”

“If you’re angry at me,” Leo shouted, “takeit out on me.”

“I’m not angry at you,” Jack roared back.

Leo curled his hands into fists. “You think I don’t know that? I didn’t do anything.”

Jack didn’t react like Leo thought he would. Leo waited for him to explode back at him again. He almost wanted it. He wanted to get this over with. Finn needed him. He needed Finn. He needed Logan’s hand on his back, Finn letting them take him home. He needed to see Finn safe and okay and not still and pale out on the ice.

Instead, Jack sagged in front of him in the hallway. He looked up at Leo, cheeks and neck red. “Le.”

“Don’t waste my fucking time,” Leo said. “I’m done. I’m so fucking done with you.”

“I,” Jack began. “I didn’t mean to.”

“What did you mean?” Leo said. “For once in your life, why don’t you tell me what you actually meant. Because, honest to God, I don’t think I’ve ever known. Because I’m not here to clean up your messes anymore. I’m not here to make you feel better about yourself, or to tell you its okay. I broke that habit a long time ago.”

“I didn’t mean to,” Jack said again.

“What did you mean?”

“I don’t know. I…It’s hockey, you just snap sometimes, it’s adrenaline, it’s—it’s the game. I went too far, I know that, but he’s…he’s…”

“He’s what?” Leo shouted. “What, what, what, speak or get out of my way.”

“He’s happy.”

Leo pressed his hand over his eyes. “God, I’m going to kill you. I’m going to fucking kill you, I don’t even know—how to respond to that. Get out of my way.”

Leo pushed through him, but Jack grabbed his hand.

“I didn’t expect you to be happy,” he said, and Leo froze all over again.

He tried, for a moment, to remember if he’d been happy when Jack was in his life. Or, if he’d only thought he was. His childhood bedroom, dark, Jack flinching at every sound from the larger house. Jack’s skin touching his, and Leo thinking that he would do anything, panicking over how much he could do to keep them this way for as long as possible. To make Jack give him a smile when it was all over.

Finn, hurting now but always soft and grinning on the pillows. C’mere. Come here, baby. Logan, leaning over him, thumb against his lip. Let’s stay up all night. Leo, smiling, why? Logan, leaning down for a kiss. I wanna keep looking at you.

“But you are,” Jack whispered. “You’rehappy, and it…Fuck. It falls off of you three like…like something you can see.”

Slowly, Leo turned. He pulled his hand out of Jack’s and close to his chest, cradling it like it was broken.

“So you hit him?” Leo asked, voice breaking.

“I got…it all got tangled. Logan hates me. Finn hates me. Alex, Percy, Will, even Luke…”

“You hardly even know them.”

“You hate me.”

“I don’t.”

Jack took a long time before shaking his head. “You do.”

“Jack. I hate what you did to me I hate how you treated me.” Leo took a breath. “I don’t think about you enough to hate you.”

Leo turned and gave himself the pleasure-pain of being the one to walk away first.

“Le,” Finn whispered. Leo could tell he was looking at Logan, probably wide-eyed, but he didn’t dare move from his place hiding against Finn. He heard him mouth softly to Logan, Happy? What the fuck?

“Leo,” Finn said again. “Leo.”

Logan was scrambling up from his place in a moment. He squeezed himself to sit on the very edge of the bed against Leo’s back. Leo felt him lean over him and pull at his sweatshirt.

“Leo,” Logan whispered. “Non. Non, non…”

Leo let out an ugly sound and clutched Finn closer.

“Baby,” Finn said. “Look at me.” He went to reach with his bad arm and hissed in pain. “Look at me. This isn’t your fault. Oh my God, Le, this isn’t your fault, baby.”

He felt Logan curl his body over his, felt his nose press against his jaw. He pulled until Leo sat up, but when he tried to wrap him in his arms, Leo stood.

“It’s true,” Leo said. “Hockey does tangle with everything else.” He stood, looking at them sitting side by side on the bed. “And I know that because Logan wants to kill Jack for what he did, and so do I. Think of—Fenrir and Remus.” Remus’ career almost ended, just for a number on a ranking board. “Or Regulus and Sirius.” Feuding over family nonsense. Jack. Jack, Jack. “Things…unravel. And they come out on the ice.”

“That doesn’t make you responsible,” Finn said. He had a bright flush to his cheeks. He was leaning back into his pillows more.

“Jack came for you because of me,” Leo said.

“Leo,” Finn said softly. He lay back on the bed, hand to his forehead. He closed his eyes. “No, baby, you…” He trailed off.

“Finn?” Logan whispered. His attention was pulled away from Leo and he leaned over Finn. He put a hand to his cheek. “Oh.” He reached for the cup at Finn’s bedside and, instead of holding it to Finn’s mouth like Leo had expected it to, he dipped his fingers into the cool water before running them through Finn’s hair. Finn let out a relieved sound. “Just rest, Rouge. Let’s get you home.”

Leo held his breath. He felt stupid. So stupid, standing there. Talking about himself. He wrapped his arms around his stomach and watched Logan press feather-light kisses to Finn’s face.

“Mon rouge, just sleep. We’ll check out and we’ll go home. We’ll go home.”

“Leo,” Finn mumbled, eyes closed.

“No,” Leo heard himself say. “No, never mind.” He moved towards the door and felt Logan’s eyes follow him.

“Soleil,” Logan began to say.

“I’ll take care of the paperwork,” Leo said, and pushed out the door.

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