#hot guillotine summer

[joymanuco]

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We're happy to announce that the revolutionary, romantic visual novel, 'Ambition: A Minuet in Power' is coming to the Nintendo Switch on July 14th!

See you on Bastille Day!

[icewindandboringhorror]

Current temperature inside of my room right now in the middle of the night whilst about to go to sleep... villain origin story...

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for telling the king he smelled?

For context I (37M) am the court jester. Have been for almost three decades. My dad was the jester for the current king's dad when he was still ruling. Apparently my dad and the old king got along well. But somehow the sons didn't click the same way I guess.

Anyway, it was a usual Neptuesday and I was doing my thing. Got some new bells for my jester cap that all didn't have the same jingle so it was extra humorous. I was joking around with the advisors and the court. Making lewd remarks about their wives and just shooting the usual shit.

Anyway, we got into the subject of how hot it was. The wizards all pondered their orbs and had come to the conclusion that this summer was going to be the hottest in a long while. So I had some material to work with there and I worked it incredibly well. The laughter that day that rang across the castle halls, dear reader. It was a sound to behold.

Naturally I had to one up myself. So I broached the topic of sweat. Of sweat and smell. I talked of how despite the effort of the minister to smear himself with the scent of lime he still smelled of a pig pen and just things like that.

And of course everyone was waiting for me to talk of the king. I was the only one there could do so with my tongue intact.

And of course, as I held their attention and their hungry looks, my eyes flicked lazily to the king and I started talking about how he smelled. Of how someone once described to me the smell of mangrove swamps in continents faraway, and how the king must've been a swamp creature escaped from there and sitting here now. I had a prose, a narrative, a story woven into this joke of a tale. And they all ate it up. The rambunctious laughter was only cut when the king stood up, furious.

Now, as my head enters the guillotine board, I have but one question to ask.

AITA for telling the king he smelled?

[shivology]

please if you don't mind sharing I'd love to hear what ideas you have for both the sophie fic and hot ken summer w lifeguard

still brewing sophiefic in my mind but i was just thinking about her going to high school and the little we know about her friends etc etc. and her and kendall ofc. and her and rava and iverson. KENDALL WHITE BOY SUMMER THOUGH ... he has a torrid affair with a lifeguard in the hamptons or something and almost gets caught so homophobia wins out and lifeguard gets promptly dismissed jennifer style. obviously white boy summer kendall, like all kendalls, should be guillotined

[spookyshipperfics]

Viewing Experience

Find it: a03 / Fandom: The X-Files / Rating: Teen & Up

Tagging @today-in-fic

What is it About? Mulder and Scully have a scary movie night that inspires them to reveal their feelings. Basically, the ’90s version of “Netflix and Chill.”

Read it: It was horror, plain and simple. The crying. The screaming. If Scully was being dramatic, she’d say that God had forsaken this place, had forsaken them. Their office had burned down. They’d been assigned to Kersh, and the ensuing background checks were like monotonous thorns in their sides.

It’s how they ended up here, in an overstuffed daycare in Virginia on a hot summer day. Mulder had somehow been saddled with holding a toddler, and Scully was waiting for paperwork that may never come. Her gaze landed on her partner right as vomit exploded onto his face. It was a pale green like fresh-cut grass turned vile.

Peas. It had to be fucking peas, she thought.

She was sure her mouth hung open, her shock apparent for all to see. Mulder’s eyes were narrow; his lips twisted into a grimace of disgust. The green goo dripped down his face onto his white dress shirt and suit jacket—an Armani one, of course.

“Oh, my goodness! I’m so sorry,” the daycare owner gushed, rushing across the small room filled with toddlers and crying babies. “I shouldn’t have asked you to hold her. That was unprofessional of me.” The woman retrieved the unhappy toddler from Mulder, who was now holding the child at arm’s length like a bomb, rigged and ready to explode.

“It’s no problem,” Mulder replied, but he was already backing away, excusing himself to the bathroom where Scully suspected he’d be muttering under his breath and cursing Kersh for sending them on this poor excuse of an assignment in the first place.

As Mulder and the daycare owner retreated to take care of their respective messes, one of the childcare workers approached Scully with an apologetic smile. “Here’s that paperwork you were looking for,” she said, handing her a manilla folder. “Oh, and extend my apologies to your partner.”

The fresh air and sunlight were a nice change from the chaotic daycare. Crying leaked through the doors, and Scully hoped it was just the heat getting to the kids. It was certainly getting to her. Mulder grumbled from behind, and she guessed it was getting to him too. That and his encounter with a puke-happy toddler.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

“Oh, I’m just great, but my dry cleaner might not be quite as happy.” The sarcasm rolled off his voice with a thickness that made her uneasy.

As they approached the car, she took the opportunity to look at him, really look at him. He’d done the best he could in the daycare bathroom. His face was clean, but his shirt was still stained around the collar. Mulder was right–his dry cleaner wouldn’t be happy.

His jaw was clenched, eyes blackened with aggravation. The expression had become all too frequent since they’d been booted from the X-Files. A man like Mulder wasn’t cut out for repetitive tasks. Background checks and busy work were eating away at him. It seemed he was always antsy these days. His patience slowly slipping away from him with the rest of his soul.

His tension was like a contagion. A cold Scully didn’t want but always seemed to catch. They were so interwoven; his pain was her pain. Something needed to change. She knew what she wanted. It was there, simmering under the surface—a desire she could never seem to say out loud.

“At least we got what we came for,” she offered.

“You mean evidence that the local daycare wasn’t, in fact, a front for a methamphetamine cooking operation? I’m not surprised.”

“Muld—”

“Kersh knew this was a waste of time. It’s why it was assigned to us.”

“I guess we can be grateful it was an easy case.”

He huffed. “The only thing I’m grateful for is that you weren’t taken away from me as punishment too.”

Their eyes locked, and her knees suddenly felt weak. The idea that they could be separated at any time felt like a guillotine hanging above their necks. Every day they silently prayed Kersh wouldn’t pull the rope and send the shiny, silver blade careening down.

“I don’t think I could do this without you,” he added. “Any of it.”

And there it was again. That low tug of desire. That nagging, frantic feeling to tell him what she desired. His mouth against hers. Slow and deep.

They got into the car and drove off in silence. It wasn’t until they reached the freeway that she dared to glance at Mulder. She replayed the incident in the daycare. Her composed partner covered in half-digested peas. Mulder barely concealing his disgust as he held the toddler at arm’s length. He could be so dramatic at times. She’d seen him handle biohazard bags with more grace, for crying out loud.

Scully felt wild giggles rising in her throat. The absurdity of their life, the tension, the stress all spilled out into laughter that would have made a hyena cringe.

“What?” Mulder asked, his eyes bouncing from her to the road.

She shook her head. “Nothing. It’s nothing.”

“It’s clearly something. You’re acting like you have front-row seats at a comedy show.”

“The peas,” she uttered between giggles. “The peas just reminded me of The Exorcist, that’s all.”

His lips quirked into a smile. “I almost wish that had been the case. Then, at least, our involvement would’ve made sense.”

“Are you implying you’d rather encounter demons than run a simple background check?” she questioned, her laughter finally settling.

“That’s a tough one, Scully,” Mulder began. “Facing demons from The Exorcist or taking orders from Kersh are both pretty awful choices. A coin flip might be in order.”

“Hey,” she said in faux outrage. “You better not be insulting The Exorcist. It is one of my—”

“Favorite movies,” he finished. “I remember.”

She smiled. Of course, he remembered. Leave it to Mulder to catalog a throwaway statement she’d made five years ago in passing. He barely remembered her birthday. The big stuff didn’t seem important to him, but the little things were his specialty. He knew how she took her coffee. He knew she added bee pollen to her yogurt. Just like he knew teasing her about it would get under her skin because he was right; she was a scientist and should know better.

“I have it, you know,” Mulder announced, breaking her thoughts and redirecting her gaze from the passing trees back to him.

“Have what?”

“The Exorcist. I have it on VHS.”

“And here I thought your videos only included one particular genre. The kind with big-breasted blondes on the front.”

“We could watch it,” he said, ignoring her sly remark. “Tonight. Together.” A second passed, maybe two. “It’s Friday,” he added as if that would strengthen his cause.

It did.

“I’ll be over at 7,” she responded and went back to staring out the window.

They sat at opposite ends of the couch. The room was dark apart from the glow of the fish tank. Scary movies were always scarier in the dark, Mulder had insisted.

As The Exorcist began, so did the game. It was one they often played. The name? How close they could get to each other without being too obvious.

Mulder started it (he usually did). He rose to get them beers. When he returned, he sat closer. He repeated the move when the pizza arrived thirty minutes later. Handing her off a slice, he plopped down only a foot away. She got the next round of beers, closing the space and bringing them inches apart. By the time the movie reached the hour-and-a-half mark, their thighs were touching.

Mulder stretched his arms above his head, and in a moment of excited horror, she realized he was using it as an excuse to wrap one around her. He was about as suave as a teenager, but that was okay. She felt like a teenager, too, with her heart beating wildly in her chest.

She was a mess of hormones and nerves. Still, when Mulder pulled her closer, feigning terror after the head-spinning scene, she let him. And when he jokingly swore to protect her (From what, Mulder? If anything, I’d be protecting you), she sunk into him, placing her head on his upper shoulder.

It was the closest they’d ever been—surely a new high score for their unspoken game. And when the movie ended, neither of them pulled away. For all Mulder knew, she was extremely interested in the end credits.

Mulder cleared his throat. “So, what did you think of the… movie?”

“What do I think of the movie I’ve seen a half dozen times before?” At some point, her hand had found a home on his chest. She wasn’t sure when that had happened, but it didn’t stop her fingers from fidgeting with his T-shirt. “I don’t think it should shock you that I enjoyed it.”

“Hmm. Yeah, I guess I just never really talked to you about the movie before.”

It clicked, then. The inflection of the word. The way it sounded round and slow on his tongue. He wasn’t asking her for a film review. He was asking her thoughts on him… on this… on the situation that had her snuggled against him on the couch in a very unpartnerly way.

“Oh,” she gulped. “The movie.” She paused. Collecting her thoughts was difficult with two beers in her bloodstream and the butterflies in her stomach. “Well, Mulder, the movie was familiar but also a little scary.”

“Scary, huh?”

She shrugged. “Not in a bad way, more like in a I’m-scared-of-ruining-things kind of way… with the movie, I mean. I wouldn’t want my fear to tarnish your… um… viewing experience.”

He chuckled at that. “I don’t think you could ever ruin my viewing experience, Scully. I think you and I could handle whatever viewing experience was thrown at us.”

The hand that had been playing with his T-shirt seemed to have a mind of its own. It had slid lower to his stomach. She could feel his abs through the thin cotton and suddenly wanted to slip her hand underneath the fabric. It would be so easy to just—

“So, you like it then… the movie?”

“I like it,” she affirmed just above a whisper.

“Just like it?”

Her heart was pounding wildly. They were so close, she wouldn’t be surprised if Mulder could hear it. Just say it, her brain screamed. For once in your life, just say what you feel. “A part of me would even say that I love the movie.”

His hand found her jaw then, and he tilted her head to look at him. “Love is a strong word, Scully.”

She wondered briefly if she looked normal. If Mulder could tell that she was a gelatinous pile of goo beneath his fingertips like something out of another horror film. “I told you already, Mulder. This is one of my favorite movies.”

He kissed her then. Slow and deep. The way she’d fantasized about him doing earlier in the car and countless times before. His tongue entered her mouth only after he had thoroughly explored her lips. He tasted like beer and pizza and something so very Mulder. The combination had warm. And when his hands began to roam her body, it had her blazing hot.

As he eased her backward onto the cushions, he broke the kiss. “Did you say, ‘ONE of your favorite movies?’”

She rolled her eyes. “Shut up, Mulder. You know you’re my favorite.”

His eyes crinkled with a smile. God, she wanted to kiss him again. “There are no other movies,” she assured him, and then she pressed her mouth against his as the VCR whirred.

*I normally don't post my entire fics on Tumblr, so this is a first. Comments and kudos on ao3 are always much loved

[brooklynislandgirl]

From my beloved @mouthoftheocean Optional tag: Music-fiends, you know who you are. 1.   a song you can listen to on repeat Red Right Hand || Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds Whatever It Takes || Imagine Dragons 2.   a song from one of your favorite albums Alive || Pearl Jam - 10 Levon || Elton John - Madman Across the Water 3.   a song you loved when you were a teenager or kid Mr Brownstone || Guns N Roses Me and Bobby McGee || Janis Joplin The End || The Doors 4.   a song that makes you feel strong The Warrior Song - Leviathan || Sean Householder Wolf Totem || The Hu 5.   a song that makes you sad Indian Sunset || Elton John The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald || Gordon Lightfoot Pirate’s Plea || The Musical Blades 6.   a song that cheers you up Can’t Stop || Red Hot Chili Peppers Mwahahahah || Ookla the Mok Survivor Evolved || Neebs Gaming ft. JT Music {{RIP Thick44}} 7.   a song that reminds you of your friend(s) Lux Aeterna || Clint Mansell Throw Your Arms Around Me || Hunters and Collectors Sugar in the Hold || The Jolly Rogers Friends in Low Places || Garth Brooks 9.   a song that reminds you of yourself Texas Longhorn || Django Walker Closer to the Heart || Rush A Pirate Looks At Forty || Jimmy Buffet 10.  a song that brings back good memories Get the Funk Out || Extreme Amarillo By Morning || George Strait Sex Type Thing || Stone Temple Pilots {feel free to ask why} 11.  a song that grew on you Smooth Criminal || Alien Ant Farm {cover} On a Boat || The Lonely Island 12.  a song from a musical Music of the Night || Michael Crawford - Phantom of the Opera Right Hand Man || Jonathan Young and Caleb Hyles - Hamilton You’ll Be Back || Jonathan Young - Hamilton Falcon in the Dive || Terry Mann - The Scarlet Pimpernel Into the Fire || Douglas Sills and Original Broadway Cast - The Scarlet Pimpernel Madame Guillotine || Original Broadway Cast - The Scarlet Pimpernel Stars || Phillip Quast as Javert - Les Miserables 13.  a song with a great music video Sweep the Leg || No More Kings Jack Sparrow || The Lonely Island 14.  a song that’s better as a cover Temple of Love || Johnny Hollow The Plagues || Jonathan Young and Caleb Hyles -Prince of Egypt Old Town Road || Richaad EB and Jonathan Young 15.  a song that’s better acoustic Down in a Hole || Alice in Chains Radioactive || Daughtry {cover} 16.  a song with great lyrics Anybody Listening? || Queensryche Comfortably Numb || Pink Floyd 17.  a song for summer Santeria || Sublime When the Sun Goes Down || Kenny Chesney Toes || Zac Brown Band 18. ��a song for heartache Snuff || Corey Taylor {Slipknot} Fuck You || Cee Lo Green and Daryl Hall

19.  a song for car rides Life is a High Way || Rascal Flatts Free Fallin’ || Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers Calypso || John Denver 20.  a song for the rain Featherstone || Paper Kites What Kind of Love || Childish Gambino Nocturne #20 in C Sharp Minor || Chopin 21.  a song for dancing Can’t Dance || Cooper Allen Rodeo || Garth Brooks What I Love About Sundays || Craig Morgan 22.  a song for making out Hole-Hearted || Extreme More than Whiskey in Mind || Christian Kane Bad Romance || Lady Gaga 23.  a song for a lover Hallelujah || Jeff Buckley A Thousand Years || Christina Perri I’ll Be || Edwin McCain 24.  a song from before you were born White Rabbit || Jefferson Airplane Killer Queen || Queen 25.  a song from a band that’s no longer together Blow Up The Outside World || Soundgarden Big Empty || Stone Temple Pilots 26.  a song you’ve seen live Operation LIVEcrime || Queensryche {{yes the whole album/show}} 27.  a song you want to see live Hollywood Pirate || The Musical Blades House Rules || Christian Kane 28.  a song by a band you don’t usually like   Bang Bang || Jessie J, Ariana Grande, Nicki Minaj 29.  a song you recommend Montero || Lil Nas X

[pbandjesse]

I am very tired. I'm having kind of a hard night because I'm so tired but I had a really nice day. I just hope that I feel better after getting this written and being able to turn my brain back off.

My son was a lot of fun with the international staying here. And we have lots of very lively conversations. And I slept so hard. I woke up I did not want to get out of bed for a while. But I knew that James had gotten us bagels and fruit and the girls were probably getting up already. And I was right. Ibti I was getting dressed and Laura was hanging out in the living room. The air conditioning has really been nice in there and having the curtains down really made it comfortable. Me and James don't usually have the AC in the living room but maybe we'll keep it for the rest of the summer since it has been so hot.

We had our bagels and our breakfasts. Got dressed and hung out for a little bit before we started heading out. The girls thought our bagel guillotine was very funny. And everything was really nice.

My dad would call him we would sit and talk for a little while. He was sounding really good. Strong and healthy. He said some of the words that I said last night made him feel better and that made me feel better. And I just am glad that everyone is trying to be really positive about all of this. I have absolutely faith that everything is going to be okay and honestly I don't have any worry about that. I'm just really glad that they can feel a little bit more secure that things are going to be taken care of. I would tell him that I had to get off the phone because I have guests over and we were going to be leaving soon. He told me I should have told him that they were here but he absolutely read this post last night so I know he knew. But we said goodbye and then we were off.

Our first stop of the day was to go to amazing Grace to paint pottery. I love peanut butter and I was so excited to bring two people with me. Sometimes it's nice going with someone who knows how to do art like Jess and sometimes it's nice going with someone who doesn't like my dad or james. And this was kind of a mix of both. They seem to really enjoy it and we gave ourself a $30 budget. I decided to do a cup but I did the cup upside down so he'll be right side up when you're drinking from here I guess. I don't know I just thought it was a funny idea. And he's kind of based on pom pompuren from hello Kitty. But that was mostly a mistake. Because my two reference images were a pottery with this dog face on it and then a pair of yellow shorts that had smiley faces and frowny-faces on them. And I combine the two ideas and ended up with the hello Kitty dog. And I'm fine with that he's my favorite character.

It was a lot of fun though watching them work and working together. I did finish a little bit before then but I didn't mind watching and waiting. And it was just a really nice time. We were there for like 2 hours and I had a lot of fun.

Next we decided we were going to get something to eat. It was decided we didn't want to do fast food and instead go somewhere we could sit down. And it was decided we would go to Denny's. I thought it was the most American thing I could take them to. And I was correct and honestly they ordered the funniest thing to me. Are waitress was so nice. She was a sweet old lady and she kept calling us honey and darling I loved it. They ordered a strawberry lemonade and a mango lemonade. And then they ordered one chicken fried chicken dinner with two vegetable sides and french fries to share. And honestly I'm glad they just got one entree and split it because this was huge. I got a grilled cheese sandwich off the senior menu. I told the waitress that we can just pretend. And we got little fried dough balls as a starter because it sounds fun. And I wanted to share with them. And it was fun and I had such a good time. The food was a little saltier than I was expecting and I had a little bit of a stomach ache afterwards but the food was good. I'd go again.

Because I wanted to be a good host I paid for the food and they kept being like no don't do that no. But I did it and they can't stop me. It wasn't expensive. And after we ate we got to go cups for their lemonades and went to savers.

I kind of split off from the group a little bit. Let them explore and have fun. My stomach was hurting really really bad and I had to go and sit down for a minute. I texted James but it would pass it it wouldn't happen again. But the three really bad cramps that I got were very scary. I found some great stuff though. Honestly savers is out of its mind with some of the prices. But I got four really nice dresses. One yellow one that just fits me so well. I will probably wear it on saturday. But I mostly just enjoyed looking around. I did find a pair of real doc Martin blue velvet boots for $8. They were a little bit too big for me but Laura likes doc martens and so I showed them to her and they fit her perfectly. And the girls were so surprised that how good I was at finding really good stuff. And kept saying I should find more stuff for them.

Even though we spent too much money already we still decided to go to goodwill. I don't really like this Goodwill but I did end up finding a pair of Ralph Lauren boots for me. That have some very fun details on them. And I only have one pair of lace-up boots that are black. So having a brown pair of felt appropriate. And they were less than $15. I also got a very pretty silk scarf. And I feel very good about those purchases. Laura got a very fun Blazer that matches the boots very well. And then we headed out.

It was very hot out today and I decided that we needed to go and experience Rita's as well. I really wanted a mint chocolate chip misto but they didn't have that flavor so instead I got a brand new flavor to me at least. I got a lemon misto. And it was really nice. It was almost like a lemon cake creamy vanilla flavor. Laura got custard twist cone. And I declared that she had solved racism. And we all had a very big laugh about that. Ibti got a strawberry misto and we had a little swap in the car. We all got to try each other's flavors. And it was just really fun I was having a great day.

We got stuck in a little traffic on the way back to the house. That was all right. I was really starting to get tired but I held it together. We listen to good music and when we got back here we took everything inside and I came in bedroom to try things on. They tried things on in the living room. And James was recording their podcast.

After I finished trying everything on. With only one thing not fitting me the best. I decided I needed to lay down for a little while. I scored on my phone for a little bit but then I fell asleep. While I was asleep the girls decided to make cookies for us as a thank you. Which was so sweet and they were very good. They were chocolate peanut butter. And I had a very good nap.

I woke up a little dazed but I was okay. James was making everyone pasta and that was very sweet of them. But I wasn't hungry. I had two cookies and hung out with all of them for a while. Sharing pictures from the day and just chatting. And then not long ago I went and took a shower. And now I am in bed. Ready to sleep. We go back if we talk tomorrow and we will clean and get things ready and hopefully they let us go early. And we don't have to spend the entire day picking up sticks. I know it will be a lot but it'll all be okay in the end.

I hope you guys have a very good night. And are trying to stay safe out there. Sleep well.

[andossp]

is everyone ready for 2023's hot guillotine summer

[we-unlearn]

“How to kill a snake” / 2021

Step One:

Accept what you just saw in the darkening light of your front yard.

What was once a garden, a sanctuary, a place for flowers to

Bloom

And children to play

Is shadowed by an unknown, currently unnamed

Visitor. No –

Invader.

Diamond hitch markings and a head like brass.

Step Two:

Accept that you cannot ignore it.

Slithered under a bush and out of sight, it’s not better to let

Sleeping

Snakes

Lie.

You put out your cigarette, go inside

Put your thick boots on,

Jeans in summer,

Put on armor, anything too thick to pierce with fangs like sewing needles.

Step Three:

Accept that you will try to talk yourself out of it.

And that while walking through the bushes you will pray you were mistaken.

You will try to distrust your own eyes.

“I didn’t see that, trick of the light, a piece of a rotting leaf moved in the breeze and this is an

Over-

Reaction”

But in your belly you know what you saw.

Pray, then, for a misidentification.

A snake by any other name would be less deadly.

Pray that you made the mistake –

Even though you’ve been identifying snakes your whole goddamn life.

Step Four:

Accept, once you see it again in the high beam of a flashlight,

That the snake must die.

Copperhead. You named it correctly.

Its namesake carries weight and visions of dead dogs and children, screaming sirens of ambulances and a constant pressure on the wound.

The snake did not choose this, like so many choices of people that lead them to a dangerous place.

The snake did not choose his name.

Step Five:

Accept the palm to the shovel.

The weathered wood grain on skin, the heft of a blunt object but also the weight of intention

To kill.

Hear the quick guillotine, a whistle through the air.

Kill the snake.

And maybe see yourself in it — too much

The ability to fight and flail even though there is no going back,

Nothing to repair the damage.

No chance.

Step Six:

Accept the next motions, automatically,

As you’ve been told.

Spout the series of events on autopilot.

A. Collect

B. Wait

C. Dig

D. Bury

You collect the jigsawed snake in a shoebox. Wrap it in a towel.

There is always danger in a dying thing.

You wait until the morning sun is hot on your back

even through the canopy of leaves.

You dig a hole a foot and a half down with the same blunt force

And the same blunt object.

You bury the unboxed snake in the hole, and sob a song

No one will ever hear.

Step Seven:

Accept the arguments you will have with yourself.

Did you do the right thing?

What if it had bitten one of the children?

Did you have to kill a living thing?

Why did you even have to see it in the first place?

Step Eight:

Accept the fact that this poem is no longer about the snake.

Step Nine:

Accept that there was no dignity in its death, exactly like there was no dignity

In the quiet death of the future you will never have.

And how the thud of his body in a hole

Unceremoniously dug with a rusted shovel made the same sound

as the removal of your engagement ring.

And just as empty.

Step Ten:

Accept the facts:

You Killed the Snake

You Filled the Hole

You Packed the Dirt

You Walked Away

Alive.

[special-agent-spooky-mulder]

hot guillotine summer

[southernvangard]

(Southern Vangard) Episode 331 - Southern Vangard Radio

BANG! @southernvangard #radio Ep331! Boy oh boy Vangardians, our SUMMER MADNESS SERIES gets straight loony tunes this week! DJ D-STYLES of the world famous BEAT JUNKIES / INVISIBL SKRATCH PIKLZ / 545 is throwing out blessings everywhere, and it’s a true honor for us all to be here receiving them. The Wax Fondler is hot off another appearance with BIG GHOST LTD and CONWAY on “WHAT HAS BEEN BLESSED CANNOT BE CURSED”, a new LP with XP THE MARXMAN alongside fellow Beat Junkie DJ RHETTMATIC entitled “PACIFIC STANDARD TIME” and “808” a new 545 project with his turntablist PNC’s EXCESS, MIKE BOO and PRYVET PEEPSHO. If that’s not enough, you can catch him twice a month co-hosting SOUNDCHECK alongside RHETTMATIC on Twitch, YouSound and YouTube as well as all of your favorite podcast platforms. You know what’s next - yep, that’s right - empty out your wallets and purses into the collection plates ‘cause it’s THE GARD y’all and YOU WAAAAALCOME!!!!! #SmithsonianGrade #WeAreTheGard // southernvangard.com // @southernvangard on all platforms #undergroundhiphop #boombap #DJ #mixshow #interview #podcast #ATL #WORLDWIDE #RIPCOMBATJACK

southernvangard.com

@southernvangard on all platforms

#SmithsonianGrade #WeAreTheGard

twitter/IG: @southernvangard @jondoeatl @cappuccinomeeks

“Absent Minded” - Controller 7 ft. Defcee & D-Styles

“Intrinsic Flavors” - Nef, XP the Marxman & Doampeace

“Brickmile to Montana” - Boldy James & Alchemist ft. Benny the Butcher

“The Essence” - Flee Lord & Mephux ft. Fat Joe

“Lock Load” - Conway The Machine ft. Beanie Sigel

“Graveyards & Skeletons” - Don Gunna & Dark Lo ft. Eto

“Trunk Rattle” - Vince Staples

“Fair Warning” - Widowmaker & D-Styles ** WORLD EXCLUSIVE**

“Friend of God” - TF ft. Crimeapple

“Famous by Night” - Napoleon Da Legend & Gyver Hypman

“Beware” - Supreme Cerebral & Budamunk

“Spooky” - FrankNino ft. Blaze Gee, Nems, Fabeyon & Spit Gemz

“Back on One” - Real Bad Man ft. Roc Marciano & Meyhem Lauren

“Dropping Guillotines” - NapsNDreds ft. John Robinson

SOUNDCLOUD

https://soundcloud.com/southernvangard/episode-331-southern-vangard-radio/

APPLE PODCASTS

https://itun.es/us/QyyX9.c/

SPOTIFY PODCASTS

http://bit.ly/svrspotifypodcasts

YOUTUBE

https://youtu.be/shPwXUBH8ok

GOOGLE PODCASTS

http://bit.ly/svrgooglepodcasts

TWITCH

N/A

MIXCLOUD

https://www.mixcloud.com/southernvangard/episode-331-southern-vangard-radio/

#SouthernVangard #DJJonDoe #EddieMeeks #DStyles #BeatJunkies #InvisblSkratchPiklz #545 #Controller7 #Defcee #Nef #XPTheMarxman #Doampeace #BoldyJames #Alchemist #BennyTheButcher #FleeLord #Mephux #FatJoe #ConwayTheMachine #BeanieSigel #DonGunna #DarkLo #Eto #VinceStaples #Widowmaker #TF #Crimeapple #NapoleonDaLegend #GyverHypman #SupremeCerebral #Budamunk  #FrankNino #BlazeGee #Nems #Fabeyon #SpitGemz #RealBadMan #RocMarciano #MeyhemLauren #NapsNDreds #JohnRobinson

[joymanuco]

Prepare your finest tropical fabrics, and don your tinted glasses, as Ambition: A Minuet in Power is joining the @itchio summer sale with a 33% off discount! 

While away your hours by the pool with a revolutionary, romantic visual novel, today!

If you’d like to join our game’s merry community and get all of the latest news about ‘Ambition: A Minuet in Power’ (including our upcoming Nintendo Switch launch), click here to join our Discord.

[flushthethrone]

(Southern Vangard) Episode 331 - Southern Vangard Radio

BANG! @southernvangard #radio Ep331! Boy oh boy Vangardians, our SUMMER MADNESS SERIES gets straight loony tunes this week! DJ D-STYLES of the world famous BEAT JUNKIES / INVISIBL SKRATCH PIKLZ / 545 is throwing out blessings everywhere, and it’s a true honor for us all to be here receiving them. The Wax Fondler is hot off another appearance with BIG GHOST LTD and CONWAY on “WHAT HAS BEEN BLESSED CANNOT BE CURSED”, a new LP with XP THE MARXMAN alongside fellow Beat Junkie DJ RHETTMATIC entitled “PACIFIC STANDARD TIME” and “808” a new 545 project with his turntablist PNC’s EXCESS, MIKE BOO and PRYVET PEEPSHO. If that’s not enough, you can catch him twice a month co-hosting SOUNDCHECK alongside RHETTMATIC on Twitch, YouSound and YouTube as well as all of your favorite podcast platforms. You know what’s next - yep, that’s right - empty out your wallets and purses into the collection plates ‘cause it’s THE GARD y’all and YOU WAAAAALCOME!!!!! #SmithsonianGrade #WeAreTheGard // southernvangard.com // @southernvangard on all platforms #undergroundhiphop #boombap #DJ #mixshow #interview #podcast #ATL #WORLDWIDE #RIPCOMBATJACK

southernvangard.com

@southernvangard on all platforms

#SmithsonianGrade #WeAreTheGard

twitter/IG: @southernvangard @jondoeatl @cappuccinomeeks

“Absent Minded” - Controller 7 ft. Defcee & D-Styles

“Intrinsic Flavors” - Nef, XP the Marxman & Doampeace

“Brickmile to Montana” - Boldy James & Alchemist ft. Benny the Butcher

“The Essence” - Flee Lord & Mephux ft. Fat Joe

“Lock Load” - Conway The Machine ft. Beanie Sigel

“Graveyards & Skeletons” - Don Gunna & Dark Lo ft. Eto

“Trunk Rattle” - Vince Staples

“Fair Warning” - Widowmaker & D-Styles ** WORLD EXCLUSIVE**

“Friend of God” - TF ft. Crimeapple

“Famous by Night” - Napoleon Da Legend & Gyver Hypman

“Beware” - Supreme Cerebral & Budamunk

“Spooky” - FrankNino ft. Blaze Gee, Nems, Fabeyon & Spit Gemz

“Back on One” - Real Bad Man ft. Roc Marciano & Meyhem Lauren

“Dropping Guillotines” - NapsNDreds ft. John Robinson

SOUNDCLOUD

https://soundcloud.com/southernvangard/episode-331-southern-vangard-radio/

APPLE PODCASTS

https://itun.es/us/QyyX9.c/

SPOTIFY PODCASTS

http://bit.ly/svrspotifypodcasts

YOUTUBE

https://youtu.be/shPwXUBH8ok

GOOGLE PODCASTS

http://bit.ly/svrgooglepodcasts

TWITCH

N/A

MIXCLOUD

https://www.mixcloud.com/southernvangard/episode-331-southern-vangard-radio/

#SouthernVangard #DJJonDoe #EddieMeeks #DStyles #BeatJunkies #InvisblSkratchPiklz #545 #Controller7 #Defcee #Nef #XPTheMarxman #Doampeace #BoldyJames #Alchemist #BennyTheButcher #FleeLord #Mephux #FatJoe #ConwayTheMachine #BeanieSigel #DonGunna #DarkLo #Eto #VinceStaples #Widowmaker #TF #Crimeapple #NapoleonDaLegend #GyverHypman #SupremeCerebral #Budamunk  #FrankNino #BlazeGee #Nems #Fabeyon #SpitGemz #RealBadMan #RocMarciano #MeyhemLauren #NapsNDreds #JohnRobinson

[colombinna]

i see comic fans talk all the time about how the xmen were right and how fuck the avengers they're cops and shit but. But. The last thing I read was Children's Crusade. And then I stopped because it was too much psychic damage. And even though ever since I've been convincing myself that the reason they (SPECIALLY Scott and Ororo) were those little bitches to Wanda was because Emma Frost was secretely mind controling them. Even then I still can't go along with you guys. Maybe reading AvX will change my mind but so far I want Scott Summers to fucking perish and Piotr Rasputin should be getting spells cast on every single of his bones by his little sister

[erinbeast]

Mererid’s Gardens

Mererid puts a lot of pride into his ability as a gardener (and plant enthusiast) and deicides what gets planted and where.  There are many gardens spread through the Imperial Palace, inside and out.  

 Outside are many vegetable patches and groves of fruit bearing plants.  

Mererid ensures that the vegetable patches have:

Carrots: Three types appear in the patches; Candysnax which is delightfully sweet and disease resistant carrot, Purple Sun, a dark purple carrot that when cut open reveals a yellow/orange sunburst in the middle, and Dragon, a more wild variety of carrot that is a but spicy similar to radishes.   Mererid himself prefers the Dragon variety while our dear Emperor will sneak the Candysnax variety out of harvest basket not being actively tended to.  Purple Suns are used during banquets and feasts, as out of the darkness comes the sun.

Celeriac: Also known as Celery Root is a wonderful little nutty tasting root that stores incredibly well and makes for a good snack that’s easy to eat even while working in the gardens, throughout the palace, or behind a desk or pacing.  Also used in many stews and will occasionally be served mashed at dinner.

Garlic is a staple in the Imperial Palace and among Nilfgaard in general, every house has some. The two varieties you’ll find are; Bavarian Purple, noted for its very strong flavor, and the Chesknok Red, which is incredibly nice in cooking.  Bavarain Red is mostly used chopped or fined diced in spreads and dips.  The cooks in the palace will use recipes from anywhere, however they always add more garlic than the recipe calls for.  Who only uses 1 clove of garlic?!

Lettuce is another staple with two varieties.  Milagro, a hearty disease resistant lettuce that is sweet and tender, Butter Crunch which does well in hot summers and into the fall season and holds well for a lettuce. Bullet Lettuce is sprinkled throughout as a sort of ‘back-up’ lettuce as it is a vigorous and hardy type.

Arugula which is mainly used in salads for small dinners hosted by the Emperor, comes in two types; Bellezia which is a hardy type, great for the sometimes drastic changes in between Nilfgaard seasons; and Speedy, which is quick to harvest.

Onions pop up in almost every vegetable patch as they are used for almost every dinner, feast, and banquet within the palace.  Among the varieties you’ll find Oneida, a large onion that stores well for long periods of time; Monastrell, a disease and sun burn resistant type that’s a boon in the summer time; and Talon, a type of onion that can grow almost anywhere, even where most won’t even start to try and have a long storage life.  A chef once accidentally dropped sliced onion into hot oil and now both Mererid and Emhyr can’t seem to get enough of fried onions. A few guests have also taken to them and try to replicate the dish.  

Wega Parsley is the main strain of parsley you’ll find throughout Nilfgaard known for its tough nature that prevents bolting and bitterness and can be harvested late in the growing season.

Pepper plants pop up in planters around the palace they serve as colorful decoration and a source of food.  Candy Cane Chocolate Cherry are best at being both.  Their foliage is fantastic and the peppers produced are sweet and crisp. Emhyr hates noisy food, any crunching or slurping will drive him mad(more so than usual I suppose) but he makes an exception when Mererid munches on these as the man looks too damn happy to guillotine.  Padron, a shishito like pepper that is sturdy and produces peppers all season long for a continuous harvest.

Potatoes are found in large numbers in a few patches with Dark Red Norlands, which produce a heavy yield and are disease resistant, to the Carola which are resistant to disease but still require monitoring but, produce a heavy harvest.  A staple on the plate of almost every dinner and feast.  Do not mash them, the Emperor will have your head for it.  Mererid bless him, can only sigh and shake his head and secretly mash potatoes for him and few others servants/slaves.  

Sweet Potatoes, a favorite of the Emperor when roasted with salt and olive oil.  The Beauregard is the go to for being sweet and does well in cooler times.

Radishes, of which Mererid will go out and get a few and eat straight from the garden, you’ll find the Nile, which does well in heat, produces a sweet spicy root and edible leaves used for cooking.  The Celeste can be found near fall as the are wet/cold tolerant and can stay in the field for sometime before being unharvestable.  

Squashes of many varieties can be found; the Chiffon which grows upwards on tresses, or Cube of Butter which is a low growing kind with a heavy harvest.  Butterbaby saves some room on the ground by growing on tresses like the Chiffon and is known for a sweet and rich fruit.  The Golden Star has a tight plant and is disease resistant with a continuous harvest.  Squash rarely shows up on the Emperor’s plate, Mererid however will always take some if there is any to be had, just a small bit.  

Olympic Spinach can be found year round in the vegetable patches and on the table, Emhyr likes a good strawberry spinach salad and it’s an almost guaranteed way to make him eat something, at least in the summer time.  

[missnxthingg]

Where you have to skinny dip with your enemy with tom - 🤠

Winter Break Blurb Week

Prompt #47 - Where you have to skinny dip with your enemy

Pairing - Tom Holland x Reader

Word Count - 929

A/N - TOOK ME TOO LONG, I KNOW. The blurb week is no longer a week because everything went wrong and right at the same time🤡 life keeps surprising me and I had to put Tumblr aside for a while, but I'm back at writing! Hope you enjoy it as much as I did

event’s masterlist | main masterlist | taglist

❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁

“Alright, (Y/N). Your turn.” Your friend, Emma, said to you once the spinning bottle in the centre of your friend’s circle. “Truth or dare?”

You took your summer break from college to do a little camp trip with everyone, including your closest friends and people you hate, like Tom Holland, captain of the college football team and your declared enemy. You’ve hated each other for God knows how long and or the reason why, but you couldn’t stand being in the same room as the other. This trip wasn’t going so different, and you’ve been trying to stay calm for everyone’s sake, but you couldn’t stand his provocation anymore.

So far in this little and stupid truth or dare that started after two empty bottles of vodka throughout the day already made you incredibly mad, including every time Tom sent you some cheeky flirting or low voiced insult towards you. But now it was your turn to reply to another question or drink one more shot, which you definitely weren’t looking forward to anytime soon.

“Truth.” You said and Tom laughed from across the circle.

“Weak.” He cleared his throat and you rolled your eyes but didn’t reply to him. Instead, you nodded for your friend to go on.

“If you had to murder someone, who would it be?” Everyone started to groan with the not so revealing question because they all knew the answer.

“It’s not funny when everyone already knows the answer, Emma.” Harrison, Tom’s all-time best friend, said right after.

“But maybe we can get some confirmation from her.” Emma arched her brows and looked back at you, who was laughing at everyone’s reaction.

“Easy! Tom, of course.” You shrugged and turned to him. “Do you want me to describe how?”

“I’d rather not hear how you’d cut my head off my body.” He scrunched his nose and shook his head in affliction. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you had a guillotine.”

“No, I’d probably drown you in that lake.” She shrugged and nodded at Harrison because it was his turn to spin the bottle. And almost like magic, or as if someone was pulling the strings, it stopped on Tom.

“Truth or dare, mate.” Haz said and Tom cheekily smiled.

“Watch out, darling.” He winked at you and turned to Harrison after a short gulp of beer. “Dare.”

“Alright, so I kinda want to see (Y/N) drowning you in the lake.” Harrison laughed. “So I dare you two to go skinny dipping together.”

“No way in hell I’m getting naked in front of everyone.” (Y/N) widened her eyes and all of them laughed.

“Nobody’s going to get close to the lake, just enough to see you completing the dare.” Haz assured. “You just need to be naked in front of Tom.”

“Oh, and it gets worse.” She hid her face between her hands and Tom stood up, already taking his shorts off.

“Come on, darling. I know you wanna see this.” He shrugged. “And I’m not getting another shot of vodka or I might puke.”

“Go, (Y/N). And please drown him in the lake.” Emma said and you left with him towards the lake.

“I fucking hate you for accepting this dare.” You mumbled as you walked together in the middle of the night, guided by nothing but a flashlight carried by Tom. “This is just an excuse to see me naked.”

“Of course it is. As much as I hate you, I can’t help but think you’re hot.” He laughed. “And I know you think I’m hot too because there’s no explainable reason for our little feud other than sexual tension.”

“You’re implying that I hate you because I wanna have sex with you?” You stopped for a second just to laugh. “Fuck you, Holland.”

“You wish you could, darling.”

By that time, you’ve reached the limit for the lake. Both of you took all off your clothes, leaving nothing on but your underwear.

“To be respectful, we can both look away and just jump inside.” You suggested and he agreed. “And just get this over with.”

“Fair enough.”

And after you assured that he had turned around, you quickly dropped the rest of your clothes and jumped into the lake, that water’s temperature was perfect for a warm night. Tom jumped with you and quickly swam to you with a grin on his face.

“Hi, gorgeous.”

“Stop fucking flirting with me.” You groaned. “It’s annoying, especially when you’re lying.”

“Oh, I’m not lying. I think you’re gorgeous.” He shrugged. “I just wanted to let you know that before you go ahead and drown me.”

“Wait, you really do?” Your voice softened and even in the dark, you could see Tom hesitating before talking.

“Yeah, I do.” He admitted. “I know that drunk me can be brutally honest, but I was wondering why we simply hate each other. It’s so stupid and I hate it because I think you’re beautiful. Not only on the outside, but I know you’re beautiful on the inside too, deep down.”

“That was very sweet, Tom.” You said with a smile. “But it’s a bit weird when we’re naked.”

“Yeah, very weird.” You laughed together. “Maybe we could talk more when we’re properly dressed. Now I wanna go for a swim. After all, God knows when I’ll be butt naked in a lake with a hot lady again.”

“You’re annoying.” You smiled, but for the first time, you didn’t strongly mean what you said. Tom was annoying in a good way, and you loved it.