*Deidara and Hidan, standing in front of the open refrigerator door*
Hidan: Goddamn, blondie; can you move over some?!
Deidara: You’ve been standing directly in the center for forever, hm! It’s my turn!
*Kakuzu walks in, goes to the fridge door and roughly slams it shut*
Hidan: Kakuzu!!
Kakuzu: Both of you get the hell out of here! How many times do I need to warn you to keep this door closed?? Which one of you plans on replacing all the food that’s going to spoil in the warm air?!
Deidara: The air isn’t just warm, it’s boiling hot, hm!
Hidan: And there’s only one fucking fan in the entire house, and everyone else is crowded around it!
Deidara: Please; can’t you buy an air conditioner??
Kakuzu: I understand your frustration, brat. I truly do. But our budget just can’t afford the increase in the electric bill that having an air conditioner running would cause. Sharing a fan isn’t the worst thing in the world, is it?
Hidan: It is when everyone sits around it naked!
Kakuzu: … naked?
Deidara: Yeah, hm! Look for yourself!
*Kakuzu peaks around the corner; most Akatsuki members are huddled around the fan, either wearing extremely dirty underwear, or no clothes at all*
Kakuzu, wrinkling his nose: What in the world is that horrible smell?!
Hidan: Nobody wants to take a hot shower or bath, so nobody’s washed themselves in a fuckin’ month!
Kakuzu: S-still, it’s not all THAT bad. It’s —
*Tobi runs in*
Tobi: Kakuzu-san! Um, T-tobi was using your money briefcase to eat his chocolate on, and … the chocolate kinda melted and some of it got on Kakuzu-san’s money …
Kakuzu:
Kakuzu, to Hidan and Deidara: We’ll get an air conditioner tomorrow. That, and a coffin.
Deidara: Why would we need a co —
Kakuzu: *shoots out his tentacles and wraps them around Tobi’s throat*
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