#how the fuck are ya'll still oppressed

[deaddee-anime-brownfanlady]

I swear some of the people on this hellsite, especially from these so-called supposed "Leftists " or so-called " Activists," who want to act like they are allies for the oppressed and marginalized seems to be so super fine with literally letting an racist bigoted unhinged and highly unsabtle convicted criminal rapist take back the White House again.

Some of ya'll on this site truly be showcasing just how fake-ass and full of complete bullshit some of ya'll are in terms of " Activism " if you are fine and okay with America losing full Democracy in this upcoming election and as well as throwing many vulnerable groups and minorities within the country under the bus because it's convenient for you to do so.

Then please don't fucking call yourself a ally or activists of any kind if you're fine with letting democracy die and Fucking over so many people within this country due to some stupid moral purity shit or wanting everything to go to hell because ya'll idiots think it will bring about your so-called " GlorioUs RevoluTion ."

Seriously, as I said before, some of the people on this site really be showcasing just how much they seem to want the world to actually go to hell instead of taking real effort and effect to work to get shit done and take steps to make real changes within the Government possible.

These morons just show how unserious they are when it comes to politics and matters that affect actual people lives, but still wanna act like they are " GOOD ActiviSTS " and still be going on their usual anti-voting rhetoric bullshit, while still pretending to give a shit about minorities rights all while showing how alright they are with the growing could be possibility of America turning into a Christto-Fascist authoritarian nation by a unsabtle convicted rapist and his VP pick who are still out here spreading awful racist rhetoric against Haitians immigrants.

As said before, seriously Fuck these phony performative fake-ass bastards.

[faegoddessog]

 Seventy Two Hours of Bliss Ch. 9/41

Chapter 9: Dreams that Spill Into Reality

Chapter Warnings: Explicitly mature content, 18+ only, weird dream with anal and cunnilingus, unprotected PIV (play safe ya'll!)

Series Masterlist

Series Summary:

You are neighbors with Austin Butler on the Gold Coast of Australia just prior to shooting Elvis. You become just friends because he is taken. However, after he is single again, you both find out just how attracted you are to one another and things get unrelentingly hot.

SERIES WARNING: Explicitly mature content, 18+ only,  here there be lemons.

Authors Notes: I started writing this while remodeling my kitchen, so that informed the slightly quirky narrative. It starts slow, but once it heats up, it is on fire. I have tried to pull facts from RL as much as I could, but obviously there are some assumptions and flat out dreamy wishes  involved here. 

Chapter 9: Dreams that Spill Into Reality

On the drive back you have a lively discussion about god and sex and the oppression of sexuality in both men and women.

He puts on your favorite up beat Elvis songs like ‘Blue Suede Shoes’, “A Little Less Conversation’, and ‘Viva Las Vegas’ and you both sing at the top of your lungs. It is hard to differentiate Austin’s voice from Elvis’. He is so ready to make this movie.

You pick up some take-out, drive to the beach and eat as the sun starts to go down. You start talking favorite movies and Austin is shocked to find out that you have never seen East of Eden and insists that you go back and watch it immediately.

Curled up together in your bed watching on his laptop, he makes little side notes to you about James Dean’s performance and about how they filmed it. His childlike enthusiasm is adorable. As the film ends, you can’t keep your eyes open. You roll over and are asleep before you know it.

You are in a warm natural pool next to a waterfall, you can't touch the bottom. Austin glides up from beneath you, the water bulging up over his head just before he breaks the surface. He pulls you to him, hungrily kissing you. You wrap your legs around his waist. He pushes you up against the cave wall, hands come out from the wall and hold you there legs open.

Austin backs away as a dark haired mermaid slithers between you and starts to feast on your pussy. Her dark, exotic eyes watching you as her agile tongue draws shapes around your slit. Austin is watching and stroking his cock.

“Fuck her with your tongue,” He commands.

A second, impossibly long tongue comes out from her mouth and starts to plunge in and out of your pussy. Suddenly he is behind you, rock wall gone, pressing his cock at your asshole and grabbing your tits. He tilts your head up and kisses you impossibly deep.

“Please Austin, fuck me, please,” you hear yourself saying while his dick slides into your ass, your pussy filled with mermaid tongue. You are about to come….You are so filled.

It’s dark and warm. You feel fingers gliding on your wet pussy.

"Please fuck me, please Austin, fuck me,” you hear over and over, an echo bouncing off the walls. Are you still dreaming?

“Come here,” intones a deep, sonorous voice as you feel weight on top of you.

You open your legs, wishing the mermaid would come back and lick your pussy more. You feel his rigid shaft slide deep. You whimper.

“That must’ve been some dream, you are dripping,” says the whispering in your ear, “tell me about it.”

This dream? Right? You start talking in incomplete sentences. Mumbling about mermaids and extra hands and two tongues and his cock in your ass. All as he is moving in and out of you, his hips rolling.

“How did it feel, my cock in your ass?” asks Austin's voice in your ear.

“So good, stretched, pussy full of tongue, gonna cum so hard," your hips are rocking up to meet his down stroke.

“You gonna let me fuck you in the ass?” asks the hot lips on your ear lobe.

“God yes", your sleepy dream brain getting hotter, partially wondering why he isn't in your ass now like he was in the pool. Dreams are weird.

“Mmmggnh,”his aroused growl rumbles from his chest to yours, as he starts moving faster. God it feels so good.

You try to reach down between you to get to your clit, you need some stimulation there to get you off. Before you can worm your fingers between you, he sits back on his knees, pulling out of you, the covers falling off him. You whimper at your sudden emptiness. Are you awake now?

There is the faintest of lights coming through the windows, allowing you to see him. Knees spread wide, he is looking down on you, chest heaving with desire. His eyes are dark and lustful looking down on you. His jaw clenched, messy hair and his phallus, satyr-like, standing up long and hard with need. He seems to be surrounded by a wild, fae energy. It is powerful and demanding.

Are you awake? dreaming? both?

He pulls your hips up onto his lap, directing himself at your swollen, wet pussy. He slides into you, the angle easily hitting your G spot.

“Omigod” you inhale, eyes popping wide open, back arching, fists full of bedsheets. Yeah, awake.

Never taking his dominant, shadowy gaze off yours, he grips your hips, pushing and pulling you on and off his cock in time to his thrusts. There is no preamble or going slow. He is riding you like a galloping horse, your pussy the saddle, your hips the reins. You feel deliciously impaled, the head of his cock rubbing on that spot that makes you see double.

You have lost all time and place in this seemingly dark rite, fueled by the energy of your dreaming. You can’t stop what feels like the shattering of your soul on the fulcrum of his cock.

Your moaning, keening wail as you cum, clenching down on his shaft, drives him almost feral with need. Hunting his orgasm, his speed increases as does the grunting and groaning from his throat. Finally, he pulls out and pumps his cum all over your belly and pussy. Hot streams on your cool skin, dripping down your sides. God it feels so good and heightens the next wave of your orgasm as you rub it into your pussy, thrashing on his legs. He falls down next to you, gathering you in his arms, careless of the sticky mess all over you. You are shaking and shivering in aftershocks, eyes rolling back in your head. Still having mini orgasms as your pussy clenches, unable to catch your breath.

“Hey baby, shhhh” He is whispering in your ear with some concern. “Breathe, that’s it now.”

He holds you close and murmurs a string of calming words as you gradually come down from your ethereal high, breath getting more even, body calming down.

You slip into a calm dreamless sleep with him wrapped around you.

[jaythelay]

"WoUlD yOu bRiNg ThIs SaMe Ene-"

Actual NPC behavior. Like fully, scripted response, non-playable character shit.

Leftists gotta get their shit together, they sound like R's everytime they try defending the Genocide or pretending it's only a Genocide if the other side were to do it. Ya'll shouls look into Netanyhu and recognize we straight up are keeping him from going to jail.

I'm on no government's side. Nor religion's. I'm gonna be with the common person everytime because you cannot differentiate me between them, my friends between them, my family between them.

The average person is not the government, they are not the terrorist groups that were birthed from rubble.

But much like dark skinned people and republicans, democrats are unable to differentiate aloooooot of prejudice against a group of people being genocided.

When their response is their only defenders, with eyes and ears everywhere according to dems, are supported by palestinians, understand they're defending Genocide.

When they act like nobody's heard of Oct 7th, they're defending Genocide.

When they say "Finish the job" They're supporting genocide.

When they say "I wish it was more" They're defending a Genocide.

Much like you will never be a fan of the Minecraft Movie because some republicans said some buzzwords about DEI, you should not defend a Fucking Genocide because people support Hamas. 50% of Palestinians are children, you understand how little your dumbass statistics mean when we're talking about people who Have No Schools becaused they were all Bombed?

When the only one's with the ability to shoot a gun back at those Bombing you are some of the shittiest fucking people, guess what? They still got a gun. And you don't. And yet you're shot the Exact Same Anyways. Bombed More Often, Raped, kidnapped, murdered, Just the same as Hamas.

So of course, when Even America is against you, sendinf Bombs to Bomb Your Children, any fucking defense is worth supporting.

You would Never Think About That much like you Don't Think About School Shootings.

Read this. It's about the recent Apalachee School shooting.

Can you relate to that? Can you feel this? Why didn't you think about all the emotions and time and...all of that?

Because it won't happen to you. So you will never, think about it.

You don't think about Why Palestinians Have To Support Hamas in order to Survive. You Don't Think About the 60 years of oppression, the fact they have to live with febces above their homes to stop trash from israeli settlers falling on top of them. You don't think about shit about shit because all you heard about was Oct 7th and you moved the fuck on.

You refuse the mere Ability of Empathy you recieved reading her story for even one child being bombed by our tax dollars in Palestine.

why.

Why?

I know why. It's because it hurt Dear Leader's image. Knowing he'd lie about headless babies to Support a Genocide. And then, Guess What? We got headless babies, Headless Palestinian Babies. Not a peep from Ol Joey G.

Guess what happened when people demanded better than Biden? They got Kamala. And have been curbstomping R's ever since.

So why do you Support the Genocide of Palestine? There's nothing left. Even she is pushing for better than Genocide Joe. Perhaps you could fucking try here sometime. Nothing, is forcing us to support this.

And if you're still incapable of reasonability, self-reflection, an ounce of morality, and still decide to support the Genocide, know I Will Never Let You Forget when you flip flop innevitably upon it.

Because, Democrats, unlike Republicans, you actually Change With Progress. And you Will Never Be Allowed Forgiveness for your Chosen Ignorance. Not that you care, your entire backbone of morality is based upon what's popular.

And all. We're even asking. Is to Stop Sending Our Tax Dollars To Murder. Bare fucking Minimum. Why even fight that? Why a "ceasefire" at fucking all? Stop using my tax dollars for Genocide. For "War".

[babylonianpirate]

🔥🔥

I got an hour left to speak my mind before going behind the curtain forever until Monday returns once more.

I'm picking the nuclear option.

🔥Racism in 2023 is the most bottom basic bitch thing you can do. I touched upon this one on Discord multiple times but. People trying to use those old ass words they heard their Mama or their Grandfolks say? Are the biggest fucking clowns I have ever seen in my life. AND THEN TO ADD TO THE HILARITY, THESE STUPID ASS KIDS HAVE THE NERVE TO ACT LIKE THEY WERE OPPRESSED! LIKE THEY WERE RIGHT THERE WITH OUR ANCESTORS GETTING WHIPPED, GETTING TREATED LIKE WE WERE LESS THAN WE FUCKING ARE. NO, YOU LITTLE SHIT. YOUR DEFINITION OF "OPPRESSED" IS SOMEONE CALLING YOU A SNOWFLAKE ON THE INTERNET.

Every time I see this generation bitching about problems they don't have, it never fails to make me smile.

🔥SECOND ONE. LGBTVWXYZ COMMUNITY. Tell me something... This ain't directed at the lot of you but uh...how does it feel becoming the very thing ya'll hated? How does that feel? Don't know what I mean. Alright then. Once upon a time, you couldn't be open about yourself on the internet. Back in the hayday of 4Chan, you'd be dragged across the coals. Things have definitely changed for the better. There's still assholes, obviously. But that's a given. There's gonna be assholes no matter where you go or what you do. That's just life.

Though it seems like now? It's the assholes who have the megaphone. Because god forbid if you EVER say you love your spouse? And you ain't slappin sausages or rubbing clams? You are going to be called every convictable hateful thing in the book! AND BY THE SAME PEOPLE WHO PREACH EQUALITY! NOT EVERYONE IS YOUR ENEMY, KIDS. STOP IT, CALM DOWN! TOUCH THE RAINBOW GLASS! CONSUME THE FABULOUS FOLIAGE! But no like for real though...chill the hell out...life is a raggedy bitch as is. Ain't no reason to spend it being hateful for pointless internet clout.

[batfamfucker]

I have never understood the argument that trans people literally just living their lives and transitioning to become who they've always truly been is sexist. "It takes us back 100 years" NO IT FUCKING DOESN'T!!! TRANS PEOPLE MERELY FUCKING EXISTING DOES NOT ENDANGER FEMINISM!!! Stop making it about you. Women who were assigned male at birth are not fucking misogynistic for fucking transitioning and stating so is transphobic. You are not brave, you are not raising awareness of a 'terrible issue', and you are not a true feminist if you agree with JKR on any of this. JKR is not a hero, she is not some God send who's 'finally standing up for women during this misogyny', she is a transpbobe who is being protected by bigots, wealth, and childhood nostalgia because some people don't want to believe that the books they grew up reading were written by someone with a moral compass made of such cheap fucking plastic it could break with even the slightest of insecurity.

The term "People who menstrate" is not sexist, it is not taking anything away from cis women, it's just inclusive to trans men and non-binary people. Stop saying shit like 'if you menstrate you're a WOMAN' or 'only women menstrate' because, not only is that trans erasure, but it proves that you do not believe trans men to be real men, or trans women to be real women, or even some fucking cis women to be real women because guess fucking what!!! Some cis women don't menstrate!!! For a variety of reasons!!! That doesn't fucking mean they ain't women though does it???

Stop hiding behind fake feminism to support your transphobia the way that fake 'Christians' hide behind religion to support racism, homophobia, etc. That trick is getting old.

Feminism was created to allow women to be equal to men, but, like every movement, it had evolved and adapted to become more inclusive due to the needs within society through different time periods. Modern feminism is not just about women being equal, it's about everyone being equal and no one being discriminated against due to gender inequality, that includes women, non binary folk, and men. And before some of you @ me by saying men are not oppressed, I understand they have significant privilege, but can you look me in the eye and tell me that men don't also have unrealistic standards placed on them, that toxic masculinity is not a thing, and that society does not expect things from men that are unfair and unjust just because they are men? Hell, me even having to make a post about this issue proves my point because ya'll won't even keep your mind open for two fucking seconds to realise that trans men are real men, and having gender neutral terms for menstruation is vital to ensure that they feel safe and accepted within our society, it is not women erasure to support trans people, but claiming it is is fake feminism.

And if you're so opposed to fighting for men too, as this suggests you may be, then go ahead and fight for just women. But if you're going to do that, fight for ALL women. INCLUDING trans women. Not just white, cis, straight women. If you clearly care about all women, as you claim to from the glass pedestal you've put yourself on, show it by actually fucking supporting ALL women. That means trans women, that means queer women, that means women of colour, and women who have other religions beliefs than your own. I better see you supporting black lives matter and black women, I better see you standing up against the dangerous stereotypes that Muslim women face, I better see you fighting against homophobic dealth penalties in countries where being gay is still illegal and punishable by death for queer women, ect. Fight for these women the way they have fought for you, for the way trans women have fought for you, even as you still fight against them. We're on the same side so why the fuck are you fighting them? You've got the wrong target.

If you want equality, then fucking prove it by fighting for equality for all women, not just equality for you. Because let's be honest, you don't actually care about people's rights unless they're your own, that's what this is really about.

So to JKR, and anyone who 'stands with JKR', with all due respect, of which you are due none, fuck off. Just fuck off. Take your 'subtle' transphobia and your fake ass 'feminism' and keep it away from me. Stop making this about you, I know some of you are bored during quarantine but you can't seriously be desperate enough to start the pettiest beef for even an ounce of the putiful attention you crave. Grow the fuck up, mind your own business, and stop dragging trans people when you have literally nothing to do with their lives, because, shockingly, their lives do not revolve around you. Find something actually meaningful to do with your life, travel the world, follow your dream career, maybe even write a book. Or, maybe, don't, because if you're supprting JKR, I can only imagine how it'd turn out. Don't want to let another generation of kids down when they realise the author's a terf now, do we?

[stormbornbastard]

Daenerys Targaryen Rant

Look, I'm new to the GOT fandom and being on Tumblr overloads with you a lot of information at once. This fandom, is like the definition of toxic and for what? Ships? I have to laugh.

I'm only gonna address one thing but believe me, I've got a list so let's do this shit.

One thing I've noticed is the overwhelming hate against Daenerys Targaryen, for her cruelty and impulsiveness in some of her actions. In no way do I agree with all of them but I refuse to reduce her complex character and story buildup to that of a villain or a mad queen.

Daenerys has simultaneously figured out to be loved and feared all at once by her people which is fucking amazing. She was not born with the same training to rule as other highborns. She was not given some handbook on how to be the perfect fucking queen for the people and herself. She makes mistakes and acts impulsively but not at all times and the times she has, she's paid for them greatly and if she hasn't learned from them now, she will. Its trial and error with her, it's the only path of ruling and conqueror she has.

By no means do her mistakes outweigh her good deeds. Daenerys has done questionable things for her claim to the throne but honestly at this point, who hasn't? (Jon isn't aware of his claim so just don't)

She's not just some benevolent and perfect ruler who shows mercy to all and does nothing wrong. You wanna know why? Because that ruler doesn't exist. No real person is capable enough to do that because real people are flawed and since GOT tries to reflect real people in their characters, Daenerys is flawed too.

Those flaws do not make her incompetent enough to rule nor do they take away all that she fought to overcome and gain (screw anyone who thinks that shit was just handed to her, her name didn't mean shit. The Targaryens had been discarded before her and the name and entitlement can only get one so far, look at Viserys for example if you need to)

A lot of people want her to be more compassionate and empathetic with her enemies and people who pose a threat but why should she? Her enemies have never been compassionate and empathetic with her. Daenerys was raised with cruelty, she was only shown cruelty by all those who were supposed to love her which is why I believe she has no problem being cruel to those who pose a threat. It's all she's knew, the cruelty others for a very long time. As much as you wanna discard her backstory, its integral to shaping the person she is.

We have seen her ability to grow as a character and show more than the death and destruction that Targaryens have left behind. She cannot learn all the capabilities of a kind and good queen when she has rarely known kindness and goodness herself. But she is growing, her sacrificing a dragon who she considered a child of her own in an effort to help defend the north against the white walkers (without Jon bending the knee first) shows her ability to put people before her own political even fucking personal interest. (Another impulsive action that she paid/ will pay for and fucking learned/will learn from. Also can we acknowledge the fact that instead of holding animosity towards Jon for the death of her dragon like she could've, she empathizes with him and instead wants to help him destroy the night king BEFORE he bends the knee all while grieving her fucking child! Dany had no indication that he would bend the knee if she helped him, none. Yet she still wanted to help him destroy the night king and protect the north and it's people regardless!)

A lot of people have ridiculously high expectations of her even though when she started the show, she had no political experience, no good social experience, no military experience, no experiences one needs to rule. Yet she gained them (she wasn't given some wise person along her entire path to help her do it either) and she gained a council of people to advise her and that she trusts with her life to become a better fucking queen and to give her knowledge when she lacks it because she knows she doesn't know everything about ruling. She's aware of almost all of her flaws and she's worked to improve on them. She's not the second coming of Robb Stark (we all wish he was still here) but she is Daenerys motherfucking Targaryen and that means something and not because of her ancestry.

Do I want her to receive the iron throne? Fuck no. I hope its destroyed along with the wheel.

Do I think she doesn't deserve to be a queen? Fuck no, she's earned it.

So stop discrediting her and fixating on her bad qualities when there is so much more of her to see.

And for fucks sakes, stop pitting her and Sansa Stark against one another. They both are remarkable fucking women who have coped with terrible shit to become who they are and they're situations as rulers are rarely the same. Most of y'all are hating on one of them because she gets in the way of a ship and its pathetic.

Sansa helps protect and maintain the north as ruler and was born a Stark which means something there and gives her some kind of respect. Dany is a fucking ruler and conqueror and the Targaryen name held nothing but negative connotations of destruction, failure and death in GOT society before her, she is consistently judged by the sins of her family. She's not familiar with every land she plans to control but she wants to be, wants to be a voice for the people and those who are oppressed just as she was. Conquering and ruling a new kingdom and ruling a well established one that you grew up in (therefore she's familiar with customs, the people and ways of life in the north) is nowhere near the same thing.

I'm not discrediting Sansa, I love her and she's an amazing ruler but she had some aspects afforded to her that Daenerys doesn't.

I know she's got an ego but shit, if I had done the things she did and overcome the things she has, my head would either be too fucking big to fit through my front door or I would've offed myself before Dany gained her first dragons (I honestly don't know if I would've had the strength to get past that point).There is no question about her strength and resilience because she's got a fuck ton of it.

One more thing, after Jon bends the knee and she says "I hope I deserve it!" THAT SHIT! THAT NEEDS TO BE FUCKING TALKED ABOUT! Dany isn't as collected as she paints herself to be, she doubts her actions just as everyone does theirs but she does it in secret. She's just not in a position to be open about her insecurities and doubts which is why she doesn't show them to anyone. She's never really been. Dany has never had family who genuinely and unconditionally loved her like the Starks have their entire lives. She has never had the comfort of confiding in someone like they have or trusting someone the way they do. Even now, the people who love her mostly love her for what she can offer them and what she represents, not who she is. She's always relied on herself for that which is probably why she's not as open and vulnerable as people would like her to be. It could even be said without all she represents or her dragons or her power, no one would love her.

She's grown up without it. Abuse taking its place, she would have no one without her claim. The starks would have each others which is why I think she holds onto it and enforces so much. Her claim has given her people who love her, the things she can offer have given her the people that love her. That sucks but it what it is.

Her questioning her ability to rule, her insecurity shows that she will not let her pride and ego get in the way of being a good queen if she gains the seven kingdom. Just because she exerts confidence does not mean she is overconfident or stuck in the belief of her entitlement to the throne. She worries she will not be the queen the seven kingdoms need which is exactly why she could be. Because those thoughts will keep her vigilant and attentive to all the shit she's needs to get done once she's no longer prioritized with conquering.

And to address her motives, or what I believe are her motives, Dany likes power. Why is that a bad thing? For a long period in life, she was considered weak and powerless, a pawn for those with power. She knows what it means to suffer (the death of her family, her husband [Stockholm syndrome but let me not start because she did love him], her only child Rhaego, and her dragon who she loves like a child, being raped, etc.) She knows it and she will never allow herself to be powerless again, she will never allow herself to be weak (I'm pretty sure she associates vulnerability with weakness at this point) in the face of threats, potential allies and the suffering of her, her people or both.

Why is that a bad thing? For her to be powerful, because that's what she equates it with strength. Power keeps her from weakness and I think it's why she strives for as much as possible so that she will never know that feeling of powerlessness again and so that her people who depend on her will never know suffering at the hands of the powerful again. It's not because of her "selfish belief that she deserves it." She wants it and forced herself to belief she's entitled and deserves it because while on the throne, she can secure protection from those who would do the horrific things she's endured and seen with that power to those without it.

She may result to cruelty when needed but that does not make her an evil person/ruler (yes I know about the Tarlys who refused to bend the knee for her. She made a power move, seeing as there were witnesses and the men who witnessed could see her not delivering on her threat of death as a weakness and eventually try and move against her, and she killed them. Now they all know she means fucking business. Also the Tarlys betrayed House Targaryen and Tyrell and were responsible for the death of thousands of Tyrell men. This is all Daenerys know of them, why do ya'll just ignore that. You act like Dany killed an innocent or someone she had a strong emotional attachment to but that's not the case. Her action was a strategic, political move and they chose to defy her when she gave them a choice) It wasn't right but it instilled fear, she cannot rule with just love. You can love someone and still plot against them, if people fear the consequences of what could happen if they fail, it'll hold them back. She needs both fear and love to rule. Loved enough to fight for her, feared enough to not move against her.

It's one a.m. but I had to get this off my chest, so yeah, I'm done.

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

DOTW 45 - full - ya'll welcome

Levi was in a bad state. Floch had tracked down the real Marcel Galliard, only to find the man dead and locked in his own chest freezer. The house had been recently abandoned, and clues were running dry. Being unable to work, he had all the time in the world to drive himself insane. All the time in the world to play out every possible scenario of Eren's abduction. They'd found that the "heart attack" victim, had been paid to call in the emergency. He'd thought it a prank. A stranger having approached him and paid him $100 just to make a simple call to prank his friend. The man didn't even know Levi and Eren both lived in the building, and he'd already spent the cash so there was no way of tracking down the bills he was paid with. The ambulance used to transport Eren was found on the outskirts of the city, the same night Levi had come home. There'd been blood at scene, though it hadn't been Eren's, it was enough to drive the spike of fear deeper into his heart. If Eren had fought, his boyfriend could be out there somewhere in a critical condition. Levi couldn't even sleep without seeing Eren. His dreams never once being kind to him, as Eren blamed him for his death, over and over... For the first month after Eren disappeared, he, Hanji and Anna, and Erwin had all been living together in a "safe" house that Floch had organised. They hadn't had access to the outside world. He'd nearly gone crazy from Hanji mothering him, and Erwin trying to father him. He wasn't a fucking child. He didn't need the guilt of their concern on top of his own guilt. Titan had hated the safe house, so the moment one month was up, Levi had returned back to his apartment. If Eren was out there and trying to get home, then he'd be there waiting for him. Even if it took the rest of his life. * Drenched in blood, Eren stumbled down the dirt road. His body was shaking with shock, his hair wild from lack of care and his bottom lip chewed to something resembling a bloody pulp. The cold night wind seemed to rip through his near naked body, while the knife in his right hand seemed to be the only thing he was acutely aware of. The day he'd been taken from the apartment, his world had been turned upside down. In that moment, it was like someone spinning a mirror in its stand. As it gradually slowed, he was left looking at a sight that disgusted him, as much as it confused him. His father was standing there. His father who'd walked out and left him, was now the one coming for him. He'd thought the man dead, yet he showed up, screaming at him that they had to leave. Bertholdt and Reiner were the ones who were the ones who'd supposed to come for him. He'd say there, through the night and watched the door. The largest and sharpest knife in the house was his only protection. But his father. His father hadn't been expected. The desire to kill the man where stood was only bested by his need to know. And now, he'd give almost everything not to. Still. He'd left with him. He'd written what he needed to Levi, praying that his boyfriend would understand the things he was trying to say. The things he'd written just that little bit bigger without making it too obvious. Given the degree of shock he'd been in, and that he'd had to pull himself out of an impending panic attack, he'd been proud he'd been able to write anything at all. Taken down by elevator, Bertholdt joined them in the narrow space. Again. He didn't understand. Bertholdt had blamed the whole thing on his father. He'd cursed him, and told him end up dead, just like him. So why was the alpha now sullenly following his father's orders? The thoughts in his head wouldn't stop. His breathing ragged, as if he'd already done the runner he was planning too. For nearly fucking decade, he'd thought he was dead. He'd thought the man had forgotten he'd even existed, and that's why he'd up abandoned. Just having his father next to him was enough to make him physically ill, to the point when the elevator doors opened to the ground floor, he'd fainted. Waking up, he was in a small room. It was basic. Very basic, but he counted his blessings that it wasn't a basement. Sitting on the end of his bed, his father was reading... like he was some fucking right to be there. Trying to find his voice, nothing came forth. He wanted to scream, or at least tell his father to let him go. With a heavy sigh, the man closed the book he'd been reading. The look on his face unreadable as he turned to him. This was the face of the man who'd hurt him. Who'd killed his mother and beat him for being an omega. The face of the man who wanted to sell him off. Who considered him defective and dirty for having a second dynamic he couldn't help. The face of the man who'd fucking ruined his life "Eren, I hoped we wouldn't meet like this. I'm sure you must have some questions" Yeah. Like how the fuck did he get out of here?! And where was here? That was about it. He didn't want to know what his father had been doing, and he didn't care to know. The man had left him when he'd needed him the most "You're right. There are some things words cannot say alone. Not when those are listening. Perhaps it would be easier to show you" Eren wanted to protest, but again, nothing came out. His father rose from the end of the bed, walking to stand next to where he sat. Reaching out his hand, Eren recoiled from touch. His face filled with disgust. Just the scent of his father was enough to have him vomiting in his mouth "Eren, either you come with me, or we have you moved to less agreeable accomodations until you learn your place" Learn his place? He knew his fucking place. It was in Shinganshima, with Titan and Levi. It was waking up in Levi's arms, and cuddling on the sofa. This place. Was not his place "You have until three to decide, then I'll be deciding for you. One. Two..." Not giving him any time to think, Eren scrambled from the bed before his father could say three "Excellent. Zeke's training was effective, I see" Eren's throat tightened at the mention of Zeke's name. How did his father know about that? Or how Zeke had trained him... "You will follow me. You will be silent and if you run, we will chain you. Do I make myself understood?" Unable to speak, Eren nodded "Come along then" Blinded as the excited the room, he found himself in some kind of world that looked like it'd been lifted from a movie. The whole area was set in a wide circle, various people coming and going from the stark white buildings. Moving towards the building opposite them, Eren followed. There was something about this whole place that scent a chill through him. This wasn't good place. It felt cold and empty. Like everyone was here, didn't want to be. Trailing after his father, his bare feet froze against the damp grass. Trust Grisha to ruin everything he could for him, grass now included. Despite the humble outside of the building, Eren smelt disinfectant as he walked into what seemed to be some kind of laboratory. Once again, everything was too white, and the glass was just way too clean. With no time to stop and take it all in, he followed blindly until they reached a set of heavy dark doors, the silver handles looking imposing as fuck. He definitely wasn't supposed to be here. Taking two steps back, his heart was pounding hard enough for him to hear it. Turning and catching sight of him, Grisha covered the distance between them, grabbing him by the arm and yanking him forward "You will obey me, or they will kill you" What the fuck. Whoever "they" were, made plenty of empty fucking threats and promises. He was supposed to be dead already, not in some kind of fucked up dream world where his father was alive. Gripping his arm so hard that it hurt, he was pulled to the doors, Grisha giving a single knock before entering. Inside the room was decked in black. Even the plants either side or the desk seemed to be black. The space feeling so heavy and oppressive, it was hard to remain standing. Seated at the long oval table that filled most of the room, 11 sets of eyes were on him as he pulled over and manhandled down into a chair, his father taking the seat next to him "Eren Yeager" His name was said like it was a hair ball being coughed up. The old man at the end of the table looked slightly familiar, but he couldn't place it. Seated to his left, were Reiner and Bertholdt, both alphas looking like scared rabbits, rather than killers "Eren. We understand you've been causing some problems for all of us. Under your father's recommendation, we have decided to liberate you from your current life. Do you understand?" He understood nothing. Glaring back at the man seated directly opposite him, he crossed his arms "Grisha. You assured me the boy would talk" "And he will" "You know the penalty if he does not" Under the table, his father kicked him. What were they? 12? "It has come to our attention that you have been communicating with the Shinganshima Police Department, and with a certain officer Floch Forster" Floch had a last name? Dah. Of course people had last names "Eren, you seem to be under the impression we are bad people. We are not, and we hope that in time, you will see the mistakes you have made. Grisha, return him to his room" That was it? He was dragged up here, for that? Fucking seriously? He had more questions that fucking answers, and he still had no idea where the fuck he was. Was this a cult? Had his father really abandoned him, to join this fucking cult? He'd seen enough TV to know cults were filled with weirdos, and that these things never worked out well for anyone involved. In the movies, everyone always ended up dead with a lone survivor walking off into the distance as the place burned to the ground. Is that what he'd been caught up in? Escorted back to his room, his father didn't stay. Maybe he got that Eren wanted absolutely nothing to do with him... or more likely, he had to go grovel to whoever those people in that room had been... If the alpha thought he was simply going to take all of this, without a word of real explanation, he was sadly mistaken. For the first week Eren was kept isolated from everyone. His father brought him meals, and took him to what seemed to be a communal shower block. The number of omegas in the place took him by surprise, as did the number of children. It didn't look like a place for children, and none of them looked happy about it. No one talked either. Normally a pregnant omega took comfort in being with other omega's, but here, everyone tried to avoid everyone else. Something was going on here and he didn't like it. Nor was he going to let things keep going like this. His own omega was distraught from their smells, leaving him constantly on edge. He still hadn't been able to find his voice, but he had found that his door locked from the outside, which was useless, but his window. His window was wonky in its frame. That he might be able to use. His plans were dashed when he was moved into the same room as his father. Ninety percent of the room was filled from floor to ceiling with medical technology that meant nothing to him. Two small beds sat at the rear of the room, once covered with books. Locked in with his father, the first thing Grisha did was throw his arms around him, holding him tight like a loving father would "It's safe to talk here. I never meant to get you involved with any of this" Well that was a load of shit. If he hadn't wanted him involved, he could have fucking left him with Levi "Look, you may not believe me, but all I wanted was to keep you safe. What happened with your mother... I wish it could have been avoided. And then with Zeke. Zeke did well. He kept you safe and hidden..." Shoving his father off him, he bared his teeth as he snarled "Eren..." Trying to form his words, nothing happened. Instead he stood there like the angry idiot he was "Eren, it's ok. I know you must have a lot of questions, but for now, know that I had to drive you away. I had to make sure you wouldn't track me down, or come after me. I'm sorry for what happened. I was a fool. I was a coward. I tried to find a way out of this all... but now... no. Never mind. Just know, that if you do as they say, things will go much smoother... this... this was all I could do to keep you alive. Read the books on your bed, then you'll understand" Eren ignored the books for as long as he could. He couldn't calm down with his father acting so "normal" around him. Nothing about this was normal. Nothing about this place was normal. On the dresser that sat between his and his father's bed, were photos. Photos Eren felt Grisha had no right to have. Not only were they of his mother, but also of Zeke and Zeke's mother. It was bad enough that they were on display, but out of all the photos in the small collection, most of them were of him. Including recent photos of him with Levi. He'd suspected they were being watched, but there was no real evidence, other than Bertholdt working with Levi, and he hadn't known about that until months after it'd first started. Photos of him coming out of Krista's office. In Paradis. At the hospital. At Moblit's wake. The most recent was of him at the Charity Ball with Levi on his arm. It was sickening. He didn't want anything to do with Grisha. He'd rather... he'd rather be trapped in a room with Reiner and Bertholdt than sharing this room with his father. At least he knew the pair wanted him dead. He knew what they wanted from him, and who they were. His father on the other hand was a stranger from his nightmares. He probably wished Eren had been wasted across the sheets rather than ever be conceived. His father noticed that he hadn't read the books on his bed almost immediately. The man held off saying anything, until Eren was woken in the middle of the night. His father already awake, but the knocking on their door couldn't be ignored. Beckoned to follow, Eren was freezing in the thin white clothes he'd been gifted. He didn't even have time to slide his shoes on before he was being lead through the central courtyard area. Yeah. They were definitely in some kind of cult. Called to deliver a pup, Eren nearly bolted from the room the moment he realised what was going on. The poor woman had been left to ordeal everything alone, while two stocky alphas stood guard outside her room. Directed to hold her hand, and support her, he was grateful he didn't have to be down the other again. Birth might be a miracle, but staring at people's private parts was gross. Just because everyone had them, didn't mean they needed to show them off or anything... and he had no idea how people could work with those areas... it was not for him. Having been left until nearly the final moment, the female omega was a mess, the birth over in three pushes, and the baby a healthy girl. He was so fucking angry. The girl was taken from the mother with one of the waiting alphas like it was a normal thing to do. The woman was crying for her pup and he couldn't fucking do anything about it. Once his father had made sure he was alright, they'd been escorted back to their room, and his father had pushed the books he'd been ignore into his hands. He didn't know why he needed to read them, not when the moment he figured out how to get out of wherever he was, he was gone. He'd done some fucked up things in his life, but whatever this was... he didn't want any part of this. * Levi may have overindulged with his drinking the previous night. Though, he didn't know if was classed as overindulging, when he was still drinking. Erwin had decided he was fucking moving in 7 weeks after Eren's disappearance. It wasn't like Levi was still falling apart. He would have had to stop falling apart for that to happen. He'd plastered as many missing posters of Eren as he could onto their social media accounts, as well as printing physical copies, and distributing them everywhere he could. Each day got harder. Waking up without Eren by his side. Without his sleepy smile. His soft purrs and messy bedhead. The way he reached out for him if Levi moved away. The way Eren would smile as he snuggled into him, and would mumble his name in his sleep. His phone was constantly by his side in case Eren found a way to called him. Floch was still looking for Eren, without making things too obvious. He'd been sideswiped while driving, barely able to prevent his car from rolling, shortly after the discovery of Marcel's body. Floch was now working personally under Dot Pixis as an internal review was being conducted through the precinct. Being on the outside, he had no way of knowing what had been discovered, and the daily calls to the man in the hopes of news, had become weekly instead. Every time a dead body was found and reported on the news, Levi's heart would break a little more. He didn't want to find Eren dead. He just wanted to find him. He wanted things to go back to how they'd been... his apartment resembled more of a pigsty than a abode. The dishes sitting in the sink for days at a time, while the only actually shopping he did was for Titan, or printer ink when he'd run out from printing missing person flyers. Eren's room was just the way he'd left it. Erwin was sleeping on the sofa, with the hopes that he'd just fuck off back home. A fine layer of dust had settled over everything, but if he washed Eren's blankets, he'd be washing away Eren's scent, and he wasn't strong enough to do that. He needed his omega. Or he needed to make enough noise that Reiner and Bertholdt would come for him. He'd named and shamed them on social media, and still, nothing had happened. Eren had said they'd be after him once he was dead, yet it seemed more like once they'd gotten Eren, they couldn't give two fucks about everyone else... Erwin was at work, leaving Levi home with Titan and the bottle of scotch he'd been sipping on since the night before. There was only one benefit to Erwin being in the apartment and that was when he left. When he left, Levi could stay in bed, remembering Eren. He'd been looking forward to getting Eren out of that dress. They'd touched a little during Eren's post heat, when Eren had needed the physical contact to soothe his fears, but that was so long ago, it felt like he'd forgotten the heat of Eren's body against his. Rolling so his facing his phone, he ignored the device as it started to ring. People had called about Eren, some even texting him messages of abuse. Calls were worse though. Some where just heavy breathing, and some where people simply telling him he was disgusting or possessive and should let Eren be happy without him. The only calls he answered were Hanji's, because she'd show up in person if he didn't. He couldn't bare the look of pity in her eyes. Nor could he stand her lectures. He knew what he was doing wasn't healthy. He knew he needed to stop. He needed to rethink the situation, and formulate a new plan, but as soon as he'd start thinking about Eren... it was like something broke a little more inside of him. Eren was in his thoughts constantly, as he tried to remember every detail of every moment they'd spent together. The way Eren would light up when he learned something new, or the way he'd rush to hug him when he came home from work. He desperately didn't want to forget him. Letting the call ring out, two chimes dinged from his phone. Usually a missed call would only mean one, unless a message was left. With an exaggerated groan, he reached out and picked his phone up. His notifications informing him that there was indeed a message left. Whatever. He might as well listen to whoever had decided he needed to abused. Maybe it'd be a fucking joke. He could use a laugh. The moments of laughter in his apartment had been few and far between, without Eren there. Eren was the warmth and sunlight in his life, while Levi felt like he was sucking the life from everything as he continued his half life. Opening the message, he closed his eyes and hit play "Good Afternoon, this is Leah from Karanes Psychiatric Hospital. I am trying to contact Levi Ackerman, in regards to Eren Yeager. If you could please give me a call back on..." Karanes. He'd never even been there, let alone known anyone there. They had no reason to be calling, and he severely doubted Eren would be there... so why was his thumb hovering over the message? She hadn't said Eren was a patient. And Eren didn't need the kind of help those places usually offered... Anger flared in the emotionally exhausted alpha. This obviously had to be a prank call. It always fucking was. Erwin had urged him to remove the missing posters online, especially after Eren started getting all kinds of friend requests. He'd removed it on Eren's, but until Eren came home, he'd keep it online on his. Deciding Leah could go fuck herself, he called the number back with the intention of doing just that... only, it wasn't Leah who answered, and his mind panicked. He hadn't thought anyone else would. Shit. Fuck. He was fucking alpha, he wasn't supposed to get flustered like this "E-Eren Yeager..." He sounded like a retarded parrot as he stuttered the words out "Hello? Sir? I'm afraid I don't understand. Are you calling to talk with Eren Yeager?" God. She was still fucking talking to him. If he was her, he would have hung up or yelled at him for wasting her time "Yes..." "Eren is currently not able to respond. He is allowed visitors. Our visiting hours are between 10am and 2pm, Monday to Friday. And 9am and 4pm on Saturdays and Sundays. If you would like to leave a message for him, we are able to pass it on" "Wait. You have a patient named Eren Yeager there?" The woman seemed confused "Yes? Weren't you calling to speak with him? Sir, why don't you give me your name..." Levi hung up his phone. His heart racing as he scrambled out of bed. For the first time in 9 fucking weeks, he had news of Eren. And not just Marcel was dead in his freezer. Shit. Fuck. He needed to get to Karanes. He needed to pack. He needed to shower. Did Eren need clothes? Should he take clothes or a blanket? Eren loved his blankets. Eren couldn't wear a blanket. He should take both. And what about Titan? No. He couldn't take their cat... Titan would have to stay. Eren could see him when he came back. The energy that flooded his body dropped as his feet came to a stop. The "what ifs" of the situation hitting him. The woman said Eren wasn't taking calls. What if he couldn't take calls? What if he got there and Eren didn't want him? What if he got there and Eren wasn't himself? What if they'd done something to him? What if he never wanted to see him again? What if he was dying... No. if he was dying, he'd be in a proper hospital. Why wasn't Eren in a proper hospital? Was he ok? Did he even remember him? He was too intoxicated for this. He needed a shower. He needed to cook his head and calm back down. Shower. He should shower and then pack. His hair needed a cut... and he'd have to message Erwin to say he was going away for a few days... he didn't want Erwin near Eren. Not when he didn't know the full extent of Eren's injuries, and not when this could be a wild goose chase. It could be Reiner or Bertholdt using Eren's name. Fuck. He should have asked for a description. If it was Reiner or Bertholdt, he'd have to do something. Get them out of there. And then? Then what did he do? Kill them? Actually... He didn't trust himself not to... but they could know where Eren actually was... Fuck. Why the fuck did he have to be dealing with this while drunk? This was his own fucking fault. He should have taken better care of himself. For Eren's sake. For Eren's sake he should have remained strong. Stronger than this. He was an alpha. Top of the dynamic hierarchy. Not some stupid beta... Too drunk to drive, Levi booked a plane ticket to Karanes, being a last minute flight, it'd cost him a small fortune. He had no idea why. He'd never been to Karanes, but the cost of the flight to Karanes was the same as two tickets out to Paradis Beach... even when the flight was shorter. Having shit, showered and shaved, he'd felt more human than he had in days, until he was forced the enjoy the not so lovely recycled air of the flight. The wet smell seemed to cling to him, even once he'd gotten off the plane and made his way outside the airport, and into the first available taxi. Everything he needed had fit into his carry on luggage. Though it had been extremely tempting to pack Eren's whole wardrobe so his boyfriend would be comfortable. * It was well after hours when the taxi finally pulled up in front of Karanes Psychiatric Hospital. Levi hadn't even considered booking a hotel or anything, his mind too preoccupied with the possibility of Eren waiting for him. Gathering his bag and Eren's backpack from the taxi, he climbed from it with a sigh. The place didn't look the nicest... at least not nice enough for Eren. The tall grey building looked like a prison, so much so, that even the sad excuse of a garden didn't inject any happiness into the environment. Walking up to the front door, he frowned at the fact it was locked. Pressing the intercom, he could almost imagine the grumpy woman on the other end "Visiting hours are over" "I was contacted by Leah regarding a patient. Eren Yeager?" There was a buzz, followed by a click and the door opened. Grabbing the handle before she could change her mind and lock him out again, Levi stepped into the foyer. The place stank of lavender, whoever cleaned or whatever was being sprayed, some shitty arsehole needed to learn moderation. Carrying his and Eren's bags over to the reception, the woman behind the counter gave him a bored look "Leah will be down shortly. I need you to fill this in. Any personal belongings will need to be left here. No phones. No laptops. No electronics. And you will be monitored for the duration of your visit" This definitely wasn't the right place for Eren to be. His boyfriend would be fucking terrified. Angered at the lack of empathy shown, and the lack of acceptable conditions. He nearly snapped the pen given to him to fill in the forms. The woman taking photo copies of his ID, then giving him a box to dump both his bags in. Ignoring him, it was a long wait before another woman appeared. Smiling, her brown-grey hair was piled up in a messy bun "Are you Levi?" Rising to his feet, Levi nodded. His arse long since numb from the single plastic chair available "Levi Ackerman. And I assume you're Leah?" "Yes. It's lovely to meet you. Now, I'm sure you must have a lot of questions of how Eren came to be in our care, but the first thing you need to know is that he is currently sedated. He was quite distressed when he was first brought in, so sedation was necessary in order for him to get some rest" Levi hated the fact his lover was sedated, but he could understand it "He has PTS, depression and severe anxiety. He also has a history of self harming without consciously realising what he is doing" Leah nodded, her smile didn't waver "The first thing he did when he settled was provide your name and number" That was his omega... he'd remembered... Levi's alpha swelled with pride "I'm his alpha. He lives with me in Shinganshima" "Shinganshima? That's quite a journey" "That's very true. Look. Are you sure this is Eren?" Leah sighed "To be honest, I saw one of your posts of social media. Eren is currently non-verbal, and other than your details, he hasn't made any other attempts to communicate. If he hadn't provided your name or number, I most likely would have ignored the post. The number of alphas who track down their omega partners..." Non-verbal was never good, Eren had said he was non-verbal before and that was after being fucking tortured. Ok. He'd need to be prepared for that... it was just... having his post ignored. That pissed him off. He was perfectly alright person, at a distance and not when people were trying to hurt Eren... or making a mess. Ok. He was short and shitty. But Eren brought out the best in him "I used to work as a paramedic. I know all about that" Leah kept up the small talk until they finally reached a plain grey door "This is it. He may be sleeping, we've administer his medication for the night" 5pm seemed way too early for night meds. Part of him wanted Eren to be sleeping, but the bigger part was shaking with fear. His omega... his omega was supposed to be behind that door, but what if he wasn't? What happened then? Laying on his side, with his back to the wall, the omega was snoring softly. A mass of messy brown hair poking up from under the edge of the blanket. Sniffing the air, he found he couldn't smell any of Eren's telltale scents, and for a moment, his heart dropped "Go on. Technically I'm supposed to wake him, but we haven't even been able to confirm his name. He asked for you, so he must have known you'd come" Feeling oddly jittery, Levi nearly tripped over his own two feet as he crossed to the sleeping omega. Gently brushing the hair back from the man's face, a smile formed on his lips at Eren's sleeping features, as his knees gave out. Wrapping an arm around Eren, he started to sob earnest tears. His brat was so warm and alive. Being so close, he could catch just the faintest traces of his scent, rousing the deep instinct to protect. It was his Eren. Beneath his hold, Eren gave a sleepy groan, turning in confusion, before bright green eyes opened wide. His boyfriend's happiness was overwhelming "Hey, brat" Reaching out, he cupped Eren's face. Eren immediately nuzzling into the touch, letting out a rumbling purr as he did. Opening his mouth, the omega's smile turned to sadness. Fuck. He didn't want Eren to start crying. He didn't want his omega to think he thought any less of him "It's ok. I know, and it's ok. We'll figure this out, but for now, what matters most is that you're ok" Nodding as he nuzzled, Eren kissed his palm, closing his eyes as if drinking in the touch. Fuck. He couldn't help himself. Leaning in Levi's lips found Eren's, the kiss soft and followed by a second and third. His beautiful boyfriend was back, and alive. The circumstances behind Eren's return would have to wait for another day. All that mattered was that he was back with him. Back where he belonged "I fucking love you" Eren snorted, throwing his arms around him as he nuzzled his cheek enthusiastically "This is the most active I've seen him since he was admitted" "Yeah. He's a ball of energy usually. When can I take him home?" Leah sighed softly "I'm sorry, we cannot discharge patients without the director's approval, and he won't be in until tomorrow morning" Tomorrow. Tomorrow meant leaving Eren here for another night and he wasn't ok with that. Eren didn't seem ok with it either, his boyfriend tensing "Shhh. I'm here. It's going to be ok..." Eren clung to him like there was no tomorrow. Levi's knees were starting to ache from the cold concrete floor, his right knee especially protesting the rough treatment "Let me lift you. Ok? Here, up we go" Lifting Eren, Levi's knees groaned as he repositioned him, his omega hiding his face against his shoulder. Without thinking, Levi's hand moved down Eren's side, before resting in his boyfriend's lap. Brushing against Eren's thin shirt, he noticed the slight amount of stomach. Frowning in confusion, Eren sucked in a shuddering breath as Levi slid his hand across his stomach. The smallest of bumps beneath his fingers. Eren was pregnant? Levi's stomach dropped, the change in his scent obviously upsetting Eren as the omega started to sob against him. His alpha roared in anger. This was their omega. No one else had the right to be touching him... not like that. Not to impregnate him with their pup. That was Levi's right, and his alone. His anger shook his whole frame, taxing his alcohol taxed brain as he tried to rein it back in. This was his Eren. He loved Eren... even if Eren was now carrying a pup. He could never hurt him, or abandon him for something like this. Not that he could do either anyway "And this. We'll get through this. This doesn't make me love you any less" He'd have to make an appointment with Eren's doctor and organise an ultrasound. The last time they'd had sex... was what? 11 weeks. 11 weeks ago in the shower... Eren had been having a rough night with his post heat depression. His love had woken up a crying wreck... it was just before the Ball... They'd taken a shower together, so he could take care of Eren and get him calmed again. It hadn't been the best sex, Eren had cried and kind of put a dampener on the mood, but his lover had settled when knotted... If Eren was around the ten to eleven week mark, then there was a fair chance the child was his... Fuck... Eren was pregnant. This... was a thing. A big thing. He didn't know what to do for a baby! Anna slept like crazy. Did all babies do that? And what if it wasn't his? Would Eren want to keep it? His lover desperately wanted a child, and he wasn't going to take that from him... but if another alpha had sired the pup, it wasn't exactly likely to have been consensual. He was going to have to find some way for Eren to communicate with him. They could share a phone... and fuck... Eren hated flying and he was going to have to organise flights back... unless Erwin drove up to collect them. Eren would like that. He liked watching the world when they'd go for a drive. He'd probably have a million missed calls from Erwin. Fuck. That wasn't a conversation he was looking forward too "Levi, I'm sorry, but visiting hours are over for the day. And with Eren now having a name to his face, there are a number of forms we'll need you to fill in" Eren wasn't having it. The hold on him turning painful as the omega's finger tips dug in "Is there anyway I can stay with him longer?" He wasn't ready to let him go. Even if it was overnight. That was way too long "Well..." He understood she was just trying to do her job. But this was Eren. His Eren. His Eren who'd been missing 11 fucking weeks "I'm sorry. I'm already bending the rules as it is. We can do the bulk of the discharge paperwork tonight, that way you'll be able to take him earlier in the morning. There will still be a wait, but if everything is in order, you should be able to have him out of here before lunch" Lunch was 18 odd hours away. He didn't want to wait 18 fucking hours. But Leah was going out on a limb. He'd done patient transfers to places like this before, and they really didn't appreciate after hour visitors "Ok... Eren. Eren, I have to go. But I promise, first thing tomorrow. First thing tomorrow I'll be back" Shaking his head, Eren started whimpering "You know me. I promise you. I promise I will be back for you" Shit. Eren was melting down. He probably thought he was going to abandon him because he was pregnant "Eren, hey. Here, take my shirt. It's got my scent all over it... and probably some of Titan's fur. He's missed you like crazy" "Levi..." "The shirt's cotton. There's no buttons, rips, tears, zips or ties" He'd been through this before. Though this time he was on this side of the rules, not watching during patient transfers. He'd always gotten annoyed by the sight of those trying to break the rules, and now he understood "Alright. I'll give you two a moment" Trying to pry a clinging Eren off was near on impossible and wouldn't have been able to be accomplished without the sedatives in his system. Losing strength halfway through his fight to hold on, it was a shit feeling to lift Eren off his lap. Taking Eren's thin top off, he couldn't help but stare at the small swell. Eren was too exhausted to do much but blink at him sadly, before Levi manhandled him into his shirt, and replaced the one Eren had been wearing over it "I will be back tomorrow. Very first thing. I don't care what they say, or what they do. I'm taking you home. You're my omega. I love you. I love you and you're coming back home with me. You and the pup. Ok? And no. I don't want to leave you. But Leah has to do her job, and if I cause trouble right now, they might stop me from taking you. I promise, I'll stay. I'll be with you until you fall asleep" Eren growled, but it was completely adorable. Laying him down, his boyfriend tried to fight sleeping. Levi finding his way back to kneeling, kissing and nuzzling into Eren's face as his fingers played with the omega's soft hair. He didn't want the moment to end. Slowly, Eren fell asleep. Dragging his thin blankets back up, he tucked Eren in. Ready to face the paperwork to get Eren the fuck out of here.

[tonidorsay]

Ok, Tumblr peeps... ya'll are tough and cynical, but hey...

Yeah, I know. Fuckin Boomers fuck the world, the Xers do jack but watch it, and now you gotta clean that shit up while paying fucking debts or working for one third what they made at the same job.

So you know I wrote a book. I am writing more of them. Not the boring ass trans shit book that none of ya want, but a fun book about magical girls and stuff.

Only, it isn’t all that fun all the time.

You see, the Girls are fighting the Agents of Oblivion. Oblivion is the personification of his name, and that means he’s the end of everything.

He even has five Riders, because he thinks Apocalypse is a candy ass and that other guy is distracted.

But before we get to them, we gotta uncover what’s going on.

So, let’s talk about villains for a moment.

Oppression. Be it misogyny or transphobia or racism or the rest, it is always an expression of a formula.

I express that formula directly: Anxiety/Aversion/Animus, singly or in any combination plus social power is how oppression works.

Now, social power stems from those things which act to limit or hinder individual Agency – social power is Structure.

What if all those things were demigods?

Lesser powers, their will bent towards service of their masters?

Anxiety, Aversion, and Animus are The Three. This cycle of effort to bring Oblivion through, they are the major leaders. They played a role previously, but they didn’t succeed because they served other forces.

They are partnered with The Five: Apathy, Avarice, Deceit, Privilege, and Stigma.

The Five are the ringleaders of the larger group known as The Structure.

All of them have lesser demigods working for them.

Anxiety, for example, has Humiliation, Disrespect, Inadequacy, Alienation, and Terror working for him.

Animus has Aggression, Frustration, Insecurity, Envy, and Hate. Those last two have been around a very long while – they were Known in Ancient Greece. You might recall a less flattering version of Strife, who has gone solo, from the Disney Hercules.

He’s still pissed about that. Which might be why there has been so much of him in the Disney back offices and leadership team over the last several years…

There are over 60 of these buggers on the sheet I am referencing that lays out all the ways they work and interconnect.

One of Stigma’s Lieutenants has jumped ship, though. Seems he both wised up to the fact that when Oblivion comes, they all go to, but moreso it seems his power is not as influential as it once was – he is disrepute.

You may get to know him as Alley.

Avarice is the de facto head at present, and one of the most Powerful. So powerful he may just have assumed a role as a person on Earth. And be influencing events more directly.

Any of this sounding vaguely familiar?

Feel like you are living in a world that is controlled and dominated by demigods who corrupt people with miasmas and humours?

These are the folks that the Contras are fighting. Sometimes they are easy. Lazy or distracted or overconfident. Sometimes they are hard.

But they are Gods, able to twist reality and warp things, and as the gals climb the ladder towards the Tower, they will fight more and more of them.

Sometimes they will be joined by The Party. The Party is the West Coast magical guy team.

Yes, you read that right. Magical guys. And they will be done straight. Gay, trans, one AceAro who has a dark sense of humor.

Sometimes they will be joined by the Rebels, who have been at this a lot longer, as they gained their powers when they were in their early teens. They are on the East Coast. Vermont, specifically.

Oh, I should note that two of this team are a couple, and the black gal is Justice and the other gal is Liberty, and yeah…

Trans gal on that team, too.

I absolutely promise that Nazis get punched (one gets a full missile launcher shot at him in the first book!), and there will be two occasions where the orange one gets what is coming to him. As well as his cronies.

I can also state that apparently, and over my objections, later in the series we will see giant robots and we will see Kaiju. I was trying very hard not to let that happen, but, well, you know how villains are,

Motherfuckers do not know when to give up. Specially these villains, who more often than not understand that monologuing is bad, and killing them is more fun if it hurts a lot.

ContraMagica is a 300 plus page Outline spanning at least 11 books.

It may take the form of a light novel and the conventions of the magical girl and magical idol genres, but it is a full on, hard core, old style fairy tale structured within the Hero’s journey that has given us Epic Fantasy works from Lord of the Rings to Harry Potter to Song of fire and ice and more.

Except, for once, all the lead characters are women, and both women of color and lgbt women are everywhere.

If you have ever read my what is series, you likely know I understand this stuff on the “academic” level. You probably know that I get these things better than pretty much 98% of our haters.

This is what happens when you take those things and put them into a really fun story. One that is inspired by Ghibli films and Ghost in the shell and Madoka and Yuki Yuna and the darker stuff but still brings out the light.

Maybe you hear me talk about girl power and you think, oh fuck no, not more of this live and peace and kindness crap.

Well, this isn’t that kind of girl power.

When you get a moment, go out and do some research. Seriously. Go out and find twenty five characteristics that define what the fuck Girl power really if. Broaden your search into the power of the feminine, too.

It will take effort. Because the vast majority of it is either Terf shit that stops at three things or religious shit that stops at five or a bled of both that says smile bitch and say thank you when he pulls out.

Sorry, that doesn’t do shit for me.

But there is value in womanhood, in the bonds of it and the aspects of it that need not be opposite of or complementary to masculinity.

And toxic masculinity is rampant, as well.

I had to figure that out. I had to dive into it and go beyond the silly shit and let me tell ya, I got 40 elements of Girl Power.

That change things in a subversive way that you know I love.

That is the power of these gals.

But wait!

Even after all of that, and I know ya’ll are like “yawn, yeah, whatevs”, there are a couple more things…

Each of these gals has five romantic aspects to them. Over the course of the novels, they will explore these, from crushes to the two separate romantic leads for each on, to the person who keeps making stuff hard, and to the friend who is there for them.

Yeah, even the Ace lead. She’s Ace, but she’s not Aro. But she has more going on, and what you might think is her basis for being Ace ain’t it.

And then, of course, these women are not whole people. The Contras don’t have the happy background of your usual Magical girl. All of them had lives that sucked, lives that hurt and broke and pushed them.

Remember, again, I am both a sociologist and a psychologist. These gals have issues. And I am just starting to explore them. For instance, there is a moment mentioned in book one where Lark, who is easily the baddest black magical girl I know, with her everyday goth look and her Victorian plus maid powered gear and her snakes and Houdon force and old brujha, is accosted by guys on Campus and is pretty much unable to respond and it falls to the Latina gal to come in and scare them off.

Why would she be that way? Why did Tally spend forty plus years waiting for mr right, and what happened that she might do it again?

These are gals with issues you will recognize.

This is ContraMagica. It isn’t going to be PreCure or Sailor Moon (neither of which I have seen more than two episodes of, btw, lol).

It is everything I have in me – all of it – poured out for you, but cleverly disguised as a kick ass magical girl superhero women’s story hidden in the YA field.

That is all of it. If you still go meh, well, I at least tried, lol.

But tell people about this. Let them know that I have five years or less locked down of my life to tell this massive story, and if I am lucky, maybe make a bit (seriously, a buck a book is what most authors make on trade paperbacks retail, so it takes like everyone to make an HP).

It isn’t great art. Not war and peace.

But i like to think it’s a going to be a great read.