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2009 Persona Club P4 Profiles
I've posted Adachi and Yukiko's before, but this is a collection of all their "YHVH" (Yasogami High Visual H) social media profiles.
The protagonist doesn't have a profile due to him being the silent protagonist.
Yosuke
Nickname: Isn't "Prince Walking Disappointment" kinda mean?
Greeting: Yo!-Sup? This is Yo!-Su?-Ke's room (... I tried ...)
Favorite music: Something you can listen to and play. Guitar owns!
Favorite Food: Fruit flavored throat drops cause they're good for karaoke (Yosuke can give the protagonist a Fruity Fruity Throat Lozenge in dungeon chats; also in the evening hangouts during Golden)
Least Favorite Food: Tofu - sorry Rise!
Dislikes: Cockroaches they're black and rustle around and move so quickly ugh
Clubs: People who commute on bikes, Wanna go to Junes?, Delicious Homemade Food, Trial of the Dragon
Inbox: "DVD!!! DVD!!!" (from Chie)
Parting words: Saving up for a scooter (these profiles are before Golden came out)
Chie
Nickname: Kung Fu Girl
Greeting: Check this! Hyah!
Gender: Girl!!!
Favorite food: Meat
Favorite animals: Hamsters, bunnies, and other tiny animals
Dislikes: Math, insects - the enemy of all mankind
Favorite movies: Kung fu
Clubs: Trial of the Dragon, Burning Dragon, Fans of Animals w/Tiny Eyes, Meat Lovers
Inbox: "Return my world history notebook" (from Yukiko)
Yukiko
Nickname: Yukiko, the lady of the house... Sigh...
Greeting: Hello~ Chie invited me
Likes: Japanese food, dogs (you see, one fateful day on the Samegawa... [omitted]) (Talking about her and Chie meeting due to a dog from Chie's SLink and the Golden audio drama)
Dislikes: Nothing in particular, but I don't take well to sex jokes / dirty talk
Special skills: Kimono dressing and table / place setting
Clubs: Japanese clothing fans, the Go Home club (for people who aren't in clubs), Let's visit the dam, Fans of Showa Era music
Inbox: "Lemme bathe in the hot springs again" (from Yosuke)
Kanji
Nickname: If you call me bald, imma punch you in the face
Greeting: I'm Inaba's Runaway Train
Likes: Ototo (animal crackers), Homerun Bars (topsicles)
Hobbies: Sewing, knitting, peeling the wrappers off of Homerun Bars
Clubs: Let's Sew, Knitting Cafe, Delicious Shops in the Central Shopping District, Hawaiian Quilt Enjoyers
Ideal fight: One without rules
Inbox: "Hey, I got the rare submarine!" (from Yosuke; this was "rare penguin animal cracker" in English)
Rise
Nickname: Risechi / Risette, duh!
Greeting: Where a young maiden's secrets get revealed
Likes: Hagakure special from Hagakure Ramen
Hates: Japanese ginger and royal fern
Favorite people: Senpai / the protagonist, grandma
Least favorite people: Indecisive and unreliable people
Clubs: Cafes and Sweets of Okina city, Tofu Lovers, How about Kanami Mashita?, Fans of Animals w/Tiny Eyes
Inbox: "The best sweets around are..." (from Teddie)
Naoto
Nickname: The detective prince
Greeting: Hi there, my upperclassmen invited me
Gender: No comment (As in, Naoto wrote "no comment")
Favorite book genre: Detective novels due to work
Likes: Putting myself in danger (longer explanation of what it says in Japanese)
Dislikes: Women's clothing - especially anything revealing
Specialty: Working with machines, been doing it since I was young
Clubs: Linux Fans, DIY PC Builders, Fans of Mystery Novel Narrative Tricks, Beginners Fashion
Inbox: "Let's get a bucket ice cream parfait tomorrow" (from Rise)
Lastly, Nanako, Dojima, and Adachi don't have the high school social media profiles, but they still have regular profiles nonetheless.
Nanako
Likes: Dad, big brother, Risechi / Risette, everyone else in the Investigation Team, Junes
Dislikes: Fighting, shiokara (fermented fish guts; it seems that Dojima keeps these in the fridge in P4 lol. She uses some of them to make the Slime chocolate in Golden.)
Specialty: Singing the Junes theme
Dojima
Likes: Nanako, beer
Dislikes: Working, physical tasks that require attention to detail (I'm clumsy)
Specialty: Judo, reading one's character
Adachi
Likes: Sushi (especially uni), beef, cabbage dishes
Dislikes: Paperwork, cleaning his room
Specialty: Revolver maintenance
Here's the full post of Adachi's profile w/the fanart pages too
Teddie's is. Uh. An experience. I'll post his sometime else cause I think I'm not 100% sure how it should be handled. Like he fills out [gender/sex] (they're the same character in JP) as an emoji of a woman and the words "I live for love". Which I feel like is best interpreted as, "Sex: Yes please". But hmmmMMMmmm.
#persona 4#p4#persona 4 golden#p4g#yosuke hanamura#chie satonaka#yukiko amagi#kanji tatsumi#naoto shirogane#rise kujikawa#tohru adachi#nanako dojima#ryotaro dojima#persona club p4
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Jasper Knight — ICA Facility (Final Test)
Alone
Knight: Oh, the projector’s up and running. I wonder what those geniuses have in store for me now.
While fixing
Knight: Oh? Huh. Must be loose wiring. Well, I minored in engineering. This should be as easy as falling off a log.
Knight: Hm. Deceptively simple design and yet… I have to think about this.
Knight: Damnit. I need to pace. A solution will present itself.
Knight: Hm. This is proving a harder nut to crack than I thought. Maybe after a break.
At the chessboard
Knight: You have to admire the boldness. No, beginner’s luck, that’s all it is. I only need to…
Knight: Reveal yourself, damn you. Make no mistake, ambassador, I will destroy you.
Knight: Rook 2, Queen 3, 2- … something…
Knight: Crude but devious. Amateurish to the untrained eye but six moves down the line… devastation.
Knight: Wait… could it be so simple? Ah… no.
Knight: Pawn to… Room to…
Knight: Hm. Impossible. Surely I must be overlooking something.
Knight: And then to… and then… and then to… no. No.
Knight: Hm? What’s this? Honestly, that is just ridiculous. What kind of imbecile would even consider…
Knight: Yes. Just the move I was contemplating. I appreciate the gesture, friend, but one genius is more than enough. Why on earth didn’t I think of that?
Knight: The simplicity. It’s beautiful, yet provocative.
Knight: And then the cross to the… Rook has no choice to… and then the Queen…
Knight: This game will be legendary. I will call it… Knight’s Gambit. Yes, nice ring.
Knight: Astonishing. Opens up a whole new line of strategy.
Knight: And then he has to… but if I counter with… Ah yes.
With the vodka
Knight: Ah, the fabled vodka. Well done you. Hopefully that will shut him up.
Netzke: A drink to calm the nerves, Knight? Knight: Shush. I’m thinking. Netzke: Suit yourself.
Netzke: Mr Knight, join me for a drink. Knight: Not now. Busy. Netzke: Suit yourself.
Netzke: Figure a vodka, Knight? We have celebrating to do. Knight: Later. I almost have it. Netzke: Suit yourself.
Netzke: A drink to calm the nerves, Knight? Knight: Make that two. I am about to break the sound barrier.
Netzke: To fallen comrades. Knight: And socialism? Netzke: Don’t be daft, Knight. You people don’t go around making toasts to capitalism, do you? Knight: Point taken. Nostrovia… Netzke: Close enough.
Netzke: Figure a vodka, Knight? We have celebrating to do. Knight: Why not? When in Rome, do as the Romans do.
Netzke: To supersonic transport. Knight: Hear hear.
Netzke: Shot of vodka, Knight? After all you’re one of us now. Knight: I’m really more of a bourbon man. But whatever gets the job done.
Netzke: To fresh starts. Knight: Hear hear.
Netzke: To world peace. Knight: Hear hear.
Netzke: To good health. Knight: Hear hear.
With Netzke
Knight: Why don’t you call in a submarine? I have nothing against those. Netzke: Ever been in one? Knight: I have not. Netzke: Hah. That explains it then. Trust me, Knight, you’ll feel better once you know the actual route. We should get the slides any minute now.
Knight: This is long overdue. Where are those travel plans I was promised? Netzke: As I said, on their way. And you whining about it won’t expedite matters. Knight: You must understand, I- I like to plan things thoroughly. I cannot abide with uncertainty. Netzke: Yes, yes, just play your little game, Knight. The grown ups are in change.
Knight: I really don’t see the need for all of this. Fighter jets? Surely a light cargo plane would- Netzke: Too risky. Once our enemy learns you were in Cuba, tracking a Soviet bound plane would be… how do you Americans say it? Easy as pie? Knight: Well, I’m not crazy about flying. I told you, Lieutenant Colonel Netzke. At least of all supersonic ones. And my sea legs leave much to be desired. Netzke: Relax, Knight. Plans will arrive shortly. You did your part. Now leave this to the professionals.
Consulting the map
Netzke: Lighten up, Knight. Fighter jets and U-boats, something to tell the grandkids. Knight: After this, I’ll only travel by bicycle.
Netzke: Feeling better now? Knight: I just want to get to Moscow in one piece.
Netzke: Some trip, eh, Mr Knight? Jules Verne himself would be proud. Knight: I just want to get this all over with.
Netzke: Getting travel jitters, Knight? Knight: Well, at least you’re not putting me on a Soyouz.
Consulting the plans
Knight: Good grief. You people don’t piss about, do you? Netzke: It’s not the Concorde, but it will do the trick. Knight: And my Sharon? Netzke: Special extraction. We’ll launch her into space and then parachute her down from the stratosphere with a lifeboat and a pair of snow shoes. With a little luck, she’ll reach Murmansk in a couple of months, unless she runs into bears. Knight: W-what?! Netzke: We’ll put her on a plane. Jesus, Knight, you’re supposed to be smart. Anyway, that is, if Janus agrees to your terms, and that’s a big if. Knight: He- he will see things my way. Now give me a moment. I need to learn this plan by heart.
Knight: So, a jet. An aircraft carrier. A submarine. A frigate. And a helicopter. Right. All we need know is a zeppelin and a pogo stick.
Knight: Oh dear. What have I gotten myself into…
Knight: Druzhnyy? How do you even… Good thing I’m a genius with languages.
Knight: Fighter jet. Just had to be a fighter jet. Mid air refuel? Good grief, is that even possible? Easy. You have faced world champions from three different continents, you can do this.
Knight: This is just… it’s just too much. And Sharon… oh Sharon.
On the radio
Knight: I know that model. Thank you, I’ll take it from here. This is Blind Tailor, come in, Centre. Hello, I repeat. This is Blind Tailor, come in, Centre. Not getting anything… just interference. Hello? Blind Tailor, calling for Centre. Are you there, Centre? Over. Piece of… trash, come in. Centre. Do you read me, Centre? Useless. I’m getting nothing but static. Must be that thunderstorm approaching. Come get me when the signal is back.
Talking to 47 (disguised as Security)
Knight: Don’t bother me. I have more than enough on my plate.
Talking to 47 (disguised as Officer)
47: Knight, follow me. Lubyanka is on the line. My superior wants to speak to you personally. Knight: About time. Lead the way.
Knight: The man on the radio… is it… is it him? 47: You’ll know soon enough. Knight: Hm. So. He has taken an interest. The ambassador I killed… was one of his spies, wasn’t he? Interesting. They say Janus’s men cannot be turned or broken, hm? 47: They say a lot of things. This way, please.
47: Knight, the radio is working again. Knight: So soon? Are you quite sure? I’m not going back there in vain.
47: Knight, the radio is working again. Knight: I should damn well hope so. I feel like a sitting duck in this place.
Knight: Where are you taking me? You are wasting my time. Come back when you’re actually ready?
Talking to 47 (disguised as Engineer)
47: Jasper Knight? We gotta go over the safety protocol. Follow me please. Knight: Ah, must we really? Is it dangerous? Well, it must be, mustn’t it? Why else would there be a safety protocol? I’m not crazy about airplanes. Is it going to do that thing where it flips on its head? I don’t like that one bit. Not one bit. 47: Don’t worry, you’re in good hands. This way please.
47: Okay, Mr Knight. Climb in the cockpit please. Knight: Alright… easy. One… one step at a time. 47: Step one. Strap yourself in. Knight: Okay. All strapped in. 47: Step two. Locate the ejector seat handle. Knight: Uh… just a moment… yes, found it. 47: Step three. Pull the ejector seat handle. Knight: Right. Here goes. Pull. 47: Okay, we’re done, Knight. Come on down. Knight: Well, that was exciting, wasn’t it? 47: Stay close by. We might need to run a second test. Knight: Better get used to the bureaucracy…
47: Mr Knight, we did some readjustments to the jet, and we need to do another safety check. Knight: Is this strictly necessary? Well… very well.
Knight: So are we doing this or what? Hello, you? Grease monkey? What’s the hold up? Unbelievable…
About Knight
Officer 1: It doesn’t make sense. The man is like a sitting duck waiting in Cuba. It’s only a matter of time until Langley catches up with him. If I was Knight, I’d be long gone. Officer 2: That was the plan. Then Knight pulls a fast one. Now he wants his girlfriend to go with him across the curtain. Naturally, Kremlin says no, wasn’t part of the agreement. Knight says he’s got documents on the other Soviet spies in the US. Documents that will leak in the wrong hands in case anything happens to him or his girlfriend.
Officer 1: What’s wrong with this guy? Playing chess at a time like this? He’s ninety miles from US soil, CIA is hot on his heels and his hands don’t even shake. Must be some kind of psychopath. Officer 2: Nah, I think it calms him down. This is Jasper Knight, he’s not like normal people. Chess to him is like oxygen or alcohol. Officer 1: Eh, he does look concentrated. Officer 2: Yeah, as orange juice. Trying to solve some chess conundrum. Apparently the late Russian ambassador made some highly unusual very aggressive opening move that really rattled Knight. He’s a grandmaster. To him it’s more than a game. Officer 1: So Knight kills a guy, poisons him with ricin-coated chess pieces, and his biggest concern is that an amateur almost beat him in chess? Told you he was a psychopath. Officer 2: The ambassador was a traitor. He was gonna deflect to the Americans. Officer 1: Come on. These guys change sides like the rest of us change underwear. Officer 2: What, like once every couple of years? Officer 1: You know what I mean. Officer 2: Yeah. It’s all a game. Until you decide it’s not.
Officer 1: So the Soviet ambassador, he was one of Janus’s people. Officer 2: Mhm. Man of peace, voice of reason. The quintessential good Russian. Makes it all the way to the inner circles of Washington. Then for some reason he flips, plans to deflect. So on the very night he’s supposed to meet with the foreign minister, Jasper Knight, one of Janus’s turned American agents, has no choice but to break cover and assassinate him. Does it in the middle of a crowded party with poison coated chess pieces. Officer 1: Mhm, doesn’t strike me as the type. Officer 2: Best kind of spy. So this guy might know Janus. I mean think about it. He might know who Janus really is. Officer 1: Whoever he is, he’s probably pretty ordinary. Officer 2: Janus, the KGB’s top spymaster… Ordinary… Officer 1: As you said. Best kind of spy.
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Best Places for Sea Walk in Andaman – Experience the Magic of the Ocean Floor with Reef lookers
Looking for the best places for sea walk in Andaman? Reef lookers Semi Submarine offers you a front-row seat to the spectacular marine life of the Andaman Sea. Whether you're a beginner or an adventure enthusiast, our guided sea walks take you to some of the most stunning underwater locations around North Bay, Havelock, and Neil Island. Walk along the seabed surrounded by colorful corals, tropical fish, and clear turquoise waters without needing to know how to swim or dive. Perfect for families, couples, and solo travelers, our sea walk adventures combine safety, excitement, and the thrill of marine exploration.
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AI Franchise Review 2025: Can a $9.95 AI Tool Build a Passive Income Empire ?

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"𝐈 𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐎𝐍 𝐀 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐌." - headcanons/musings on Law's impulsive desires to help people (and leading into a further analysis on him supposedly not being a "good person".). As with every hc/musings thing I write up, this is way too long and includes Law novel spoilers.

I'm still slowly working my way through the novel again but spent some time this afternoon just flipping through my notes on it, and it occurred to me that literally every time we've seen Law say he "doesn't know" why he did a thing and/or "it was only a whim", it really is as simple as because he's a good person who felt compelled to do so.
Aside from the notable going to help Luffy at Marineford, there are four instances of this particular word choice in the novel alone.
-- 𝐅𝐔𝐋𝐋 𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐘𝐒𝐈𝐒 𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐔𝐓.
Exhibit A: Law saves Bepo from Penguin & Shachi, then proceeds to bring him back to stay with him and Wolf. Bepo asks why Law is so nice to him and we see then-13 y/o Law musing, The reason I am so nice? I myself have no idea. "I acted on a whim," I simply answer.
Exhibit B: Law saves Wolf after an accident with one of his inventions leaves the old man with life-threatening injuries. Wolf, with his whole "We're not friends! This is a give & take system- you saved me, so now I owe you" mindset seriously pissed Law off with this. Mostly he's offended that Wolf would scrutinize Bepo, Penguin, and Shachi's intentions like this and counters that it was only natural the 3 wanted him to live; he'd taken all of them in and given them a home. Wolf asks Law what his motivation was, then, and Law gets very flustered and stutters his way through a response. "Hmm... Me... As a beginner doctor, it is my duty to come to the aid of any dying person... Le... let's say it's like a whim for me!"
Exhibit C: The 4 boys saving Pleasure Town from Artur Bacca. Rad thanks them all and Law simply responds, despite the injuries they'd all attained, "Oh, it's nothing, we acted on a whim." (16)
Exhibit D: After the boys set sail and earn their first mentions in Northern papers for putting an end to a pirate gang that's been going around kidnapping children to sell into slavery, the paper notes, "I acted on a whim!" These were the only words the captain of the crew of the "Heart" had uttered before resuming the sea aboard his submarine. (presumably 20+)
Now, first of all, let me just take a second to say here how much I love this kid for doing these things. I think it's really easy at this point to be like "Okay, yeah right, Law, everyone knows you're just a goofy kid with a bigger heart than you'd like to admit, just fess up already" - but. Given how early we see Law express the sentiment that "Anyway, I was never what you would call a 'good person'"(within the first 20 pages of the novel), here's the thing. I really don't think he's so much embarrassed/denying that that's his motivation as it is him honestly not realizing that's why he does the things he does.
We know he's an overthinker and needs everything to have a reason/meaning, from Cora-san deciding to help/(love?!) him to trying to figure out "how should the situation evolve" re: his new relationships with Wolf and Bepo. He does this whole in-depth "what was Cora-san to me?" reflection thing, asking questions like "Will I ever be able to carry affection for someone like that again?" He actually admits a lot of stuff to himself he'd never say out loud throughout the novel. But he never really ponders this beyond the "the reason I am so nice? I myself have no idea." which tells me it's seriously just never occurred to him. (Probably because, by thirteen years of age and no more than 20 pages into the novel, we see him think to himself "Anyway, I was never what you would call a 'good person'." in a way that suggests this was something he'd worked out and accepted a long time ago. I would venture to say even before the fall of Flevance, but that's a second write-up to follow here in a bit. <3
➡️ Part 2: ❝𝐀 𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍.❞ (will come back and add a link once I'm done with that one).
#guys i found where the words go! law steals them & holds them hostage#until i write up a very long & blabbery hc/musing thing on his overthinking tendencies.#the next time i go a few days without writing someone please shake me and ask what law is trying to tell me#✦ — 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬. | tbt.#✦ — 𝐡𝐜𝐬. | tbt.
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had to write a bunch of poems for class so i'm posting them here to make you all suffer "Noise of Shapes" Wood grain and mill marks,
or other shapes to glance and gaze,
even in noise, are meanings to be made
"Cry 'Hunger!'" Anxious dogs will celebrate you,
for waking or walking, but most of all,
for duty, for duly known: food is soon
"Used Lots" Hands of seconds, on time to reflect,
rejoin your other's selves with whom
shared tastes, now or then, tend collect
"Peanuts" There's a three-quarters washy, pink-grounded Snoopy cut-out, pinned up on my wall,
in first three, he and pinks are discrete, as before him Schroeder's unplayed piano calls,
in four, he performs, his pink world's repletion, ascending quaver marked by notehead paws.
"Notes on Portuguese" My notes began on old sugarcane, a spiral bound book of sweet recycled pulp,
some marked point, ebbed my novice jottings on present tense, as practice took their place,
reasons beginner's may possess, yet nothing beats the familiar sense; of voice, case, and face.
"Dead Language" If you love the world's words, the cold and blue and lifeless ones especially, many, or maybe most, will gut you like a fool,
most give whys, never taking much heed or 'huh', but forgotten words remain so much in life, these bygones' own and ours,
here to stay, more yours now than ever their inceptors'; latent prizes, heirloom rubbish of tongue and bone and stolen tool
"Portraits" Our likeness comes out in many varied forums, in words and deeds and any and many other things: the portrait form of people and the portrayals many and any other things, especially,
an expectation is stuck in our eye in our photographic age, laden with endless industrial image and ubiquity of self-publicity, about how things ought to appear, how we as ourselves, especially,
despite the private sense of ancient 'camera', the mechanical image, like cultivated authenticity for profilicity's sake, in all its truth and falseness, pervades, but the liminal remains in us, our likenesses, especially.
"Fishing Out of Water" A submarine has a lot of trouble out of water, and in its domain, cars and trucks and cats fair no better, as all things have places to be,
as you no doubt do too, but may not know, or you may be yet to learn, or you do, but most fish don't know their fitting place is the sea,
finding that fitting place for you is no easy thing, as first you need to know if you are a car or a cat, a fish or submarine; or yet some other thing.
"Cynics" Cynics get a bad rap, probably for playing out open hands and refusing to bluff, often rather avoiding to bite, bearing our teeth,
most often of all by modernists, the optimisers and pessimisers, the Paradisians and Ragnarokians, each defending their attendant belief,
but cynics aren't phased, as ancient underdogs born with our bone in the doghouse, since weaned we're weened to be barking up the wrong tree.
"Of expectation" There's tremendous beauty in life's everyday mundanity, great gifts of the ordinary experience, as those most discerning often tend to know,
gold veins amidst trash-heaps, saplings and great old trees where near fledgling people play, in gutter virtue, and furrow-working virtuousos,
these places least anticipated are often where humanity flourishes best, despite what all those narrow expectations within us might suppose.
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so theres a lot of posts going round about the titanic wreck and the missing submarines; all of them that ive seen have made very good points about how shoddy the submersible seemed to be and how the company decided to wait eight hours before reporting it, and how this is a play stupid games, win stupid prizes for the ultra-wealthy who paid like 250grand a ticket for this thing.
but what i havent seen any posts about is how the titanic wreck is a gravesite and this tourism is disturbing the graves of over 1500 people.
sometimes its kinda hard to remember that those on the titanic were real people; it was over a century ago, the story has been romanticised in so many ways (like the movie), theres conspiracies theories galore that cloud everything with misinformation, but at the end of the day, those who died were real people.
do you want their names? heres a list of them; its a long read. and for fun, heres another site where you can see photos of the children and babies who died aboard.
their bodies are long gone and their lives long forgotten. all we have to remember them and honour them is the wreck itself. its all we have of them and it is their gravesite. its their tombstone.
caitlin doughty/ask a morticians video on the great lakes discusses the topic well, and why we should leave these shipwrecks alone because again, they are the gravesites of all the souls who died aboard those ships. we rarely have bodies to recover so we really are left just with the wreck.
and what really upsets me about titanic tourism is how the majority of those who died that night were not the ultra-wealthy rich folks you might picture when you think of ocean liners.
61% of the first class passengers survived
42% of the second class passengers survived
24% of the third class passengers survived
24% of the crew survived **
the majority of those who died that night were regular folk; not to be cliche, but they were just like us. titanics wreck is not only a gravesite for over 1500 people, its also a majority working class gravesite.
and look at us now. look at what were doing. the ultra-wealthy can pay the equivalent of peanuts to them to disturb a mass gravesite of the exact kind of people they exploit today to hold onto all their wealth.
its easy to point and laugh at these dumb idiots in their playstation controller submarine, seemingly held together with super glue and duct tape, but its also important to remember that what they were doing was simply disturbing a gravesite for fun. though the company does research, these guys werent down there to conduct research, they were there so they could brag about it to their friends. its like “climbing mount everest” while your sherpa does all the work.
if you cant tell, i have a lot of feelings about this. shipwrecks and ocean liners are one of my special interests and im currently building a (beginner’s) model of the titanic, for fucks sake. but i would never go down to see that wreck because its a fucking gravesite and we should not be disturbing their final resting place.
#kai rambles#long post#i guess?#titanic#titanic wreck#oceangate#titan#titan sub#submarine#tw death#classism#capitalism#capitalist bullshit#exploitation#mass graves#tw mass graves#shipwrecks#oceangate expeditions#stockton rush#hamish harding#tourism#i have so many thoughts on shipwrecks because there are many you can actually explore#but as far as im concerned i really dont think you should if people died when that ship sank#you wanna go explore ss america? go for it#but titanic or the fitz? no#its a gravesite and we should be respecting those who died rather than rooting around their fucking graves#im upset and angry and just you know feeling A Lot#but also if you ever need titanic facts or stuff in this realm my askbox is always open and also go check out oceanliner designs on yt#shipposting
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book aaaask 10, 14, 16, 18, 28, 57, 60, 73, 122 and 135!
10) a book that got you through something
Legacy, by Cayla Kluver. Very bad book but like.....in a good way? Cayla was 16 when she first published so it's that kind of quality. I was at an extremely low point in my life when I first picked it up and it genuinely shocked me with the clichés, the silliness, and the juvenility all bound in this lovely shiny hardcover. It shocked me so thoroughly I actually laughed for the first time in months. I was so invested in how bad this was. I loved it. It was delightful. I couldn't stop thinking about it and I even went and bought a copy. I've never read the rest of the trilogy and I don't care to. I still pick up the first one if I'm feeling down.
14) a book that made you trip on literary acid
Abarat: Days of Magic, Nights of War- Clive Barker. Most of his work is pretty trippy in like, a Yellow Submarine sense, but his Abarat series was built different
16) a book you’d recommend to your younger self
Guardians of Ga'Hoole. I think I needed animal narratives more than I thought when I was a kid
18) your least favorite book ever
Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell.
28) a book you wish you could read as a beginner again
Poison by Chris Wooding. This book changed me man. I would love to experience it for the first time all over again. The way the book felt in my hands, how long I spent staring at her eyes on the cover, how freaked out I was by the Bone Witch....bruh if I could bottle the emotions I first felt when reading this I would drink it every weekend
57) a book you want to hit bonk your head with
The Crimson Petal in the White- Michel Faber. MAN! this is written by a male author! I still remember the exact line that made me close it forever in disgust! I read it so intently hoping that SOMETHING with Sugar would happen considering everyone I knew spoke highly about her character, but no, it was always about William and his keen ability to fail every single woman he even glances at. I was so frustrated.
60) a book that you think about at 3am
Final Girl Support Group- Grady Hendrix. Often I wonder if my opinion on this needs to be updated or if I was right. I remember being pretty passionate in my disappointments regarding the story and execution, but like....maybe satire isn't for me? Or maybe he's bad at satire? I don't know I thought it was sloppy.
73) a good book with an awful cover
Any copy of the Gentleman Bastards sequence that isn't the anniversary edition
122) your favorite winter read
Hmm...I think that's a tough one. The Sisters of the Winter Wood by Rena Rossner. Really beautiful, chilly imagery in that one. Or Cuckoo's Song by Frances Hardinge.
135) recommend any book you like!
Southern Book club's Guide to Slaying Vampires by Grady Hendrix! LOVE this one!
EDIT: i’m adding another one just because the smell of this book has been following me for days. City of Dreaming Books by Walter Moers. It’s one of the stranger ones I’ve picked up but it’s also one of those books that is so perfectly unique and confident in its strangeness
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‘Point Blank 2′
[PS1] [AUSTRALIA] [MAGAZINE] [1999]
“Point Blank 2 is the sequel to the now classic arcade game Point Blank, which was converted to the PlayStation in 1998. Using the Namco built GunCon (an arcade-like light gun), it offers 70 new shooting galleries, different party modes and a new single-player game.
If you're playing single-player, you have a few options from which to choose. The arcade mode is simply 16 rounds (of either beginner, advanced or insane difficulty) selected randomly from the 70 different shooting galleries. You'll get to shave sheep by shooting off their wool, test your accuracy in one-shot, one-hit bouts and save Dr. Don and Dr. Dan from wacky situations. There is also an endurance mode in which you climb a tall tower to see how far you can get in three tries.
Out is the old single-player role-playing game from the original and in is an action-packed adventure. There are four rides to choose from, each with their own theme (like a haunted house and a submarine). The objective is to gain clues to save the King's daughter. To get new players familiar with the game controls, there is also a practice mode.
If you've got a friend or a group of friends, Point Blank 2 features a wide variety of different play modes. The arcade games are enabled as well as turf wars, tournaments and a team-play option. You can also give certain players handicaps or enable penalties. Up to 8 people can play by alternating GunGons.
Point Blank 2 ships in two different packaging formats, one with a GunGon and one without.” ~PlayStation DataCenter
Source: Official Australian PlayStation Magazine, August 1999 (#25) || Internet Archive; famiconsumer
#gaming#advertising#point blank#point plank 2#ps1#playstation#guncon#light gun#shooters#namco#australia#video games#1999#minigames
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Dragon Dancer Chapter 33: Day of Liberty: Finale
I peered over the edge of the roof.
“Everyone stay out of his way!” Was Johann’s only order and the day of Liberty was now down to a few scattered skirmishes. I didn’t hear any comm chatter from Fingel or Lancelot any more. The area around Norton Hall was silent save the sound of a motorcycle engine drawing closer, until I could see Caesar weaving through debris and bodies at a reckless pace.
Johann Chu followed at some distance, stopping before he reached Caesar’s position, watching from a distance.
“Where are you in the building?”
I switched to the private channel. “On the roof.”
“Susie…?”
“Sorry… Nono got her.”
Caesar turned the vehicle to the side at the courtyard of Norton Hall. He was silent, eying the simulated carnage of crimson splashed bodies on the normally immaculate lawn, his eyes scanning from one side to to the other in silence.
“Stay there. Caesar’s not in a good mood.”
“Okay…” I whispered.
Over the public channel, I assumed Caesar spoke to me. “I would much rather you forfeit this match. I take no pleasure in this, Carli.”
I didn’t respond.
Johann had gotten off his bike and drawn Murasame. “You could always concede, Caesar.” He said.
Caesar lifted his chin, drawing his own sword, a heavy looking artistically designed saber. “I made a promise that the portraits of the four Student Union Members who died to the dragon would hang in Norton Hall. I will keep that promise.”
Johann leveled his sword at him. Then, he darted forward, faster than my eye could follow. He overshot Caesar, spun in on his foot, and brought the blade down, forcing Caesar to duck and step back.
Johann’s sword tip struck like a serpent, inches from Caesar’s face, nicking off a lock of his hair. Caesar lashed out one hand, grabbing Johann’s by the wrist, pulling him forward and slamming his forearm up into Johann’s chin.
They were at each other like a pair of wolves, without a break, without a parting. The communications had gone silent. The clash of swords, the grunts and the snarls were audible even from my vantage point on the roof. Surrounded by a ruined landscape, they might have been mistaken for the last two men on Earth.
A cold splash of water hit my nose. Darkening clouds had quietly begun to gather, spotting the dry dusty ground, accelerating into blinding downpour. “Johann?” I couldn’t see them.
Fearing a lightning strike and sopping wet, I dragged Susie and Nono off the roof and into a spacious attic. The air raid siren went off. Eva’s voice was heard. “Due to the advent of inclement weather, Day of Liberty can only continue indoors.”
“It’s fine… I’m inside. Carli… where are you?”
I fell to my knees. It was Caesar. “Johann? Johann?!” No response. I tapped the communicator in disbelief.
“As far as I’m concerned, this is over. I want to talk to you.”
Hot tears rained down my face. I didn’t want to talk to him, not when he was coming to take everything away. This was Club S. The place where we shared our secrets. The only place we knew wasn’t monitored and no one could see what we did in here.
Susie was still armed with a pistol and also a saber of her own. I was only a rank beginner at sword fighting, but at this point, I knew enough to feel like I could shoot. I took her pistol and quietly made my way down the attic ladder.
The clouds deepened the shadows of the empty halls. I stayed low against the wall.
“Ielia…” I whispered. “Where is he?”
She appeared, floating quickly down the hall and then returned to me, pointing towards the stairs. He was coming up. The only route to take was back towards the windows where the turrets were placed. Rain was pouring in through them. I took a chance to look outside. Medical personnel had already arrived. I could hear voices as people started to wake up.
“Ouroboros...”
That young boy with the golden eyes stepped out from behind me. His sudden appearance startled me and I backed up, slipped on the wet floor and fell.
“The Eternal Cycle… The Unity of all Things… Self-sufficient…? Not so much…” He mocked me, smiling.
“My name is Meixiu…”
“Funny, you seemed to respond to a different name, when I called you in the Tomb of Legend.”
I remembered. I woke up in the submarine. Someone was calling me. “That was you?”
“Once again, my brother’s not available. Funny, how that tends to happen around you.” His smile lost some of its humor, as his eyes narrowed. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were doing this on purpose. Are you?”
Caesar’s voice in my earpiece. “Carli, who’s with you? Tell me where you are.”
I stared, my voice caught, unsure of the answer to either of those questions.
The young boy approached. “Looks like you need my help again...”
Two large almond shaped eyes opened before me, flashing like lightning. “Wakey-wakey…”
I felt sick, a deep pain in my head. My heart beat in my chest. My vision blurred. I knew what this was. I’d felt it before I killed Isaac.
When Caesar walked into view, I backed away from him, into the wall. He held out one hand to me. “Easy..”
“No… stay back… This is my place. This is our place!”
He stopped, “I bought the plot of land where your old home was. I bought the entire block. We’ve got a lot of plans. I’d like you to be involved in it.”
The blood rushing through my body suddenly stilled. I blinked the double vision from my eyes. “Really?”
He nodded to me. “I want to make it up to you. Whatever I’ve done to make you hate me so much.”
“I don’t hate you…” Adrenaline pooled around my heart and seeped down to the pit of my stomach, burning me from the inside out. My rapid breathing made it hard to speak, my mouth was dry and my voice cracked. “I know… I know… before all this, I wanted to be like you. I wanted everything you had. But I don’t want it any more. I hate it… I hate myself for wanting it. If only I hadn’t wanted it, none of this would have happened!”
“I understand.” He was close. His hands were on my arms. He should have stayed away. “Carli, calm down.”
I looked up into his blue eyes, flashing back to the scene where he’d left me in the cave, and kissed my cheeks to say goodbye. This wasn’t going to end well. I could feel my mind slipping. My shoulders dropped. “I really can’t…” I said, my eyes vacant. “I’ve already tried.”
The surge in my body obliterated every doubt and fear and vacillating emotion in a wave of bright ambition. I met his eyes, blazing with challenge. The surprise and confusion on his face was so beautiful.
We were standing on the rune that opened the Nibelungen gate. It opened immediately and I pulled us both inside.
Darkness surrounded me and I lingered in the depths of the space between spaces, the Void, not returning to the real world immediately. I hung there, feeling malevolently pleased. In the blackness, I couldn’t hear, I couldn’t see or even feel anything, but my mind told me Caesar was with me. I imagined him panicking as I refused to let him go. He was trapped and at my scant mercy in a place with no breathable air.
I counted the seconds in smug cruelty. Thirty seemed like forever. I was accustomed to sensory deprivation. If I passed out here, we would both die to the Abyss, but I didn't care. I would stop at nothing to gain his submission.
I consciously closed my eyes, floating in the inky black. I felt my mind start to wander, a warning sign that my oxygen was running low. Five more seconds...
I got to three and I felt myself losing grip… Time to go.
We burst back into the open space of Norton Hall and we both went down to the floor. My whole body heaved, sucking air. He reached for his alchemy pistol. I kicked it away from him slamming my fist into his hand when he reached for it. I screamed when he twisted my arm behind my back.
“Stop fighting!” He growled
The darkness, the rain, and the breathlessness flashed me back to Japan, pInned beneath the man turned monster, but now was different. I twisted my body, my elbow striking his shoulder. I rolled the other way, getting out from under him, kicking his chest. Deep within the memory and the depths of blood rage, I no longer saw Caesar, but a target.
I didn’t remember pulling Susie’s pistol, or firing it or how many times I did.
I came to my senses only after the pistol stopped responding, emitting hollow little clicks. It slipped out of my hands and clattered to the floor. He was covered in the red alchemy solution. Was he dead? Did I kill him? I remembered how the blood pooled under Lu Mingfei, under the sword of Ruri Kazama, under Isaac’s friends. My brain connected the two. I’d shot him too much. Now he was dying.
Behind me, I heard the giggling of a little boy.
The doors downstairs swung open and a stampede of footsteps climbed the stairs, making their way to me. Medical personnel with their equipment descended on Caesar. They didn’t make any comment or look at me.
They immediately started injections, massaging him, trying to get him to wake up. Someone else took my elbow and led me away downstairs. It took me a moment to recognize a soaked Lu Mingfei.
“Is he dead?” I whimpered.
He gave a little laugh. “No! Carli, did you forget already? Frigg bullets don’t kill.” He stopped in the front entry hall. “I can’t believe it. I can’t believe you won! We won!” He gave me a tight hug.
“What happened to you…? Where’s Johann…?” My head ached. I was exhausted. He sat me on the couch.
“He’s being sore. He had Caesar, but his pistol misfired. It was dumb luck.” He shrugged.
“Oh.”
The medical personnel helped Caesar descend the stairs. Much to my shock, he smiled at me. “Well-played, Carli.”
Lu beamed. “GG!”
“You’re not mad?” I squeaked.
“I never thought you’d pull something like that… playing on my sympathies to lay a trap.” He brushed the medical personnel away. “Is that how you got Nono?”
“Yes…?” I flinched, then with more confidence. “Yes… that’s what happened. I was… serious about what I said. I don’t hate you. Just a lot has happened. I’ve had to work through it. This is the best way I know how.”
“Wait… You beat Nono?!” Lu exclaimed. “How?!”
Caesar shook his head at Lu. “That’s what I aim to find out.” He turned back to me. “I underestimated you. It will be the last time. I hope we have more discussions, Carli. I get the feeling we’re not that different.”
He turned and walked away, looking satisfied, despite losing.
I returned his smile with an awkward one of my own, watching him leave. Everything seemed oddly okay. Everyone was fine with what happened. “I truly don’t… understand this.”
Lu ruffled my hair. “Neither did I Carli. Neither did I.”
“What did you say to Nono…?”
His happy expression sank. “I.. kinda don’t want to talk about it now…”
I leaned against him. “I was right to trust you.”
Nono and Susie came down the stairs. Nono glanced at Lu and then kept walking, not saying anything to him. Susie shook her head at him, sarcastically saying, “Good going, by the way…”
“I told you to hold your fire.” He glared at her.
“Whatever.” She paused before she got out the door. “Sorry, Johann.”
Johann and Susie shared a fist bump. “You did your best.”
“I’ll say I couldn’t have done it without you.” I told her. “Thank you for your support!”
Susie gave me a little smile and I blushed. “You're not too bad.” She turned and walked away.
Johann regarded me with a fondness I hadn’t seen before. “You should change. Before you catch cold. Lu?” He looked at him.
Mingfei jumped up. “Yeah… I should uh… probably go and um… change too…” He scooted away and out the door.
Johann shook his head at me in wonder. “How?”
I put my finger against my lips. “S-class secret.”
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Book Review
The Sea. By Rikke Villadsen. Seattle: Fantagraphics. Danish version 2011, English translation 2018.
Rating: 3/5 stars
Genre: graphic novel
Part of a Series? No.
Summary: Told in expressive pencil drawings, provocative symbolism, and a madness that doesn’t just bubble beneath the surface of the water, but drenches the sailor—and the reader—like a tidal wave, this story is about a man, literally and figuratively, lost at sea.
***Full review under the cut.***
Content Warnings: strong language, nudity
Overview: I read this graphic novel because a friend had randomly selected it at the library and asked that I give it a go so we could talk about it. It’s the kind of work that gives me some trouble when trying to write a thoughtful critique - on the one hand, there were some elements that I think worked really well and interesting ideas were put forward. On the other, I was also left with the feeling that something was lacking - something that could have tied the whole book together more strongly.
Writing/Art: Since Villadsen is both the writer and the artist, and art is used to tell the story in graphic narratives, I’ll be discussing them together. Villadsen’s art style has an “unfinished” quality. Instead of ink, Villadsen uses a pencil effect, making use of graphite smudging and visible pencil strokes to create interesting textures. I especially liked the way she rendered the waves of the ocean, as well as the fog and the boat in which the majority of the story takes place. Villadsen is also very good at creating facial expressions and gesture, so that none of her images feel especially stiff. At the same time, her proportions are off in a way that reminded me of a beginner artist. Maybe this was on purpose, to show the reader how perspectives of certain things (for example: women, reality) are distorted. If this was the case, I think it could have worked well if perspective was more strongly highlighted in the narrative.
Plot: This graphic novel doesn’t quite have a “plot” in the traditional sense. The story mainly follows a sailor as he voyages out to sea, where he catches a fish and (strangely) a child in his net. The fish and the child talk to him and prompt him to think on his mother, his identity as a sailor vs. as a fisherman, and so on. It’s very surreal and uses a lot of symbolism that was lost on me - maybe that’s not the book’s fault, though. In discussing it with my friend, he talked about how portions seemed to be about how we’re expected to be certain things, or how we center ourselves in storytelling, or how perception warps interpretation (ex: the tattoos of women on the sailor’s body), which is way more helpful than my first reaction, which was “what?” I think his observations are a lot smarter than mine, and if indeed the book was playing with these ideas, I think the narrative could have brought them out more. As it stands, I think The Sea leaves too much to the reader, but if that’s part of highly surreal storytelling, then I guess it achieves its goal.
Characters: Because this book is so abstract, characterization also isn’t quite what you’d expect. The story focuses on an unnamed sailor, who was interesting in that he talked a lot about his identity as a sailor, as well as his mother, who is drawn with almost horrifying proportions. I think the art style does much to reveal how the sailor sees the world, so I appreciated that about Villadsen’s work.
In terms of “supporting characters,” the main two are the fish and the child, who speak in a jovial manner and dig at the sailor’s psyche. I liked the idea of a talking fish - it gave me some nice “going mad at sea” vibes. The child was a little strange, but its dynamic with the fish worked so well that I just accepted it.
There is also an unnamed woman who spends a lot of time filling and emptying a pot, and she has an extended, awkward sex scene with what I can only assume is the forward fin of a submarine or funnel of a ship. Maybe a viewing platform. It’s quite unclear. But regardless, I didn’t quite understand her story, or her relationship to the sailor. Maybe someone smarter than me can articulate it.
Recommendations: I would recommend this book if you’re interested in surrealism, psychoanalysis, sea imagery, sailing and fishing, and pencil art.
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Women’s Luxury Watch Guide: A Symbol Of Style & Sophistication
A luxury watch is a timepiece that is of high quality and often expensive. It is typically designed for people who want to display their wealth and status. Luxury French Watch for women often have intricate designs and are made with precious materials such as gold, silver, and platinum. They can also be quite large, making them a statement piece.

History Of Luxury French Watches For Women
The history of luxury watches can be traced back to the 16th century when wealthy Europeans began wearing timepieces as status symbols. At the time, watches were incredibly expensive and only the richest people could afford them. Throughout the years, the popularity of luxury watches has continued to grow, with new and innovative designs being released every year.
There are several reasons why luxury watches are so coveted. Firstly, they are often made with high-quality materials, such as gold and diamonds. Also, they are often associated with luxury brands, which carry a certain level of prestige. And finally, watches are functional items that can also be worn as a fashion accessory.
The materials used in a luxury watch are often the best that money can buy. They are often made of precious metals and gemstones. The craftsmanship that goes into making a luxury watch is also often of the highest quality. The watches are often made by hand, with great attention to detail. And the brands that make luxury watches are often the most prestigious in the world.
How To Buy A Luxury Watch?
Looking for a Women’s Luxury Watch Guide for beginners? Here’s what to remember while looking for luxury timepieces for women:
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A Guide To Choosing The Right Remote Control Boat For Your Adult-Only Adventure!
From its origins to its current state, it has evolved significantly adult remote control boats. Are you looking for a new way to enjoy some grown-up fun in the water? Adult Remote Control Boats are a great way to get out on the lake or pond and have some excitement. Whether you’re a beginner or an experienced sailor, there are plenty of RC boats you can choose from to add some extra thrills to your day. When it comes to choosing the right remote control boat for your adult-only adventure, there are a few important factors to consider. The first is the type of Adult Remote Control Boats you’d like to sail. There are a variety of RC boats available including sailboats, speedboats, and even submarines. Consider how you’ll be using the boat and what type of experience you’d like to have. The next factor to consider is the size of the remote control boat. If you’re looking for a boat to take out on a lake, you’ll want to make sure it’s big enough to cruise around comfortably. If you’re looking for a boat to use in a pool or pond, you’ll want to make sure it’s small enough to fit in the space you have available. The third factor to consider is the power source of the RC boat. Some models are powered by gas while others are powered by electric. Gas models are more powerful but require more maintenance and refueling. Electric models are more efficient and require less maintenance but they don’t have as much power. The fourth factor to consider is the range of the remote control boat. Some models will only work within a certain distance while other models can be used over longer distances. Consider how far you’ll need to use the boat and make sure you get a model that meets your needs. Finally, you’ll want to consider the price of the boat. RC boats can range in price from a few hundred dollars to a few thousand. Consider your budget and make sure you’re getting a model that is within your price range. When it comes to choosing the right Adult Remote Control Boats for your adult-only adventure, there are a few important factors to consider. Make sure you’re choosing a model that is the right size, has the right power source, the right range, and is within your budget. With the right boat, you’ll be able to have a great time out on the water.
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C:R ~VE~ Chapter 45
“I feel disgusting…” I pace back and forth across the room the guards led us to. In actuality, Conseil is bunking with Ned and Barbicane farther down the hall, but I asked him to stay with me until I calm down.
“He was listening to EVERYTHING, Conseil!” I turn towards the man sitting on my bed looking thoughtful as always. “I could bathe for months and I don’t think my skin would stop crawling!”
I hug myself before sitting down next to Conseil. “What’s worse is all those awful things he said. Conseil, what should I do?”
“I hate giving advice,” Conseil says flatly. “And I wasn’t there for the majority of it, anyhow.”
He taps me on the shoulder and gestures for me to turn around, which I do. He begins to undo my braid and thread it out through his fingers before taking a hairbrush to it.
“Where did you even find a brush?” I say with a laugh.
“I like to think I’m prepared for anything,” he replies.
The soothing motion of the hairbrush begins to make me relax, and I slump forward slightly.
It’s still difficult for me to speak, though: “You really weren’t planning on killing Nemo…?”
“Of course not,” says Conseil. “Believe me, I’m not proud of such underhandedness, but Ned’s actions were… well, they weren’t unexpected but I was still surprised… whatever that means.”
Silence settles back in and I close my eyes, using the time to think about everything that’s happened.
“I don’t need to be protected.”
“Yes, you’ve said that,” replies Conseil.
I shake my head, making him fuss as he has to sort my hair back out.
“I’m not the only one who’s said that,” I say. “I think I understand where you’re coming from a little more, Conseil.”
“Do you?” he asks.
“Sometimes, you want so badly to protect someone from the bad choices they’re making. You might say or do things that you swear is in their best interest, but you forget to listen to them in the process…”
I turn around and look at my best friend. “I love Nemo. I know that makes you worry, but I can’t stop loving him.”
Conseil just sighs and pulls strands of my hair out of the brush.
“But I shouldn’t have left you behind,” I continue. “I think I have a better understanding of what you went through.”
Conseil looks at me. “Professor, please don’t say things like that until you have to sail around the Atlantic Ocean for a month looking for any sign of a submarine! Oh, and all that with a man twice your size who is an absolute brute and—”
“And… calls you sweetheart?”
Conseil turns me back around to give my hair another brushing, but not before I see his cheeks redden.
-----
“Putting this place to good use!”
The next day, Ned swings his arms happily as he looks around the shooting range. “Okay, Polly, over here.”
“When did I become Polly to you?” I ask as I follow the large man.
“About the tenth time I heard Impey call you that,” he replies. “Okay, we’re going to have a shooting lesson.”
My eyes widen. “Shooting lesson?”
“Yeah, like pew-pew? Ever shot a pistol before?”
“I was taught how to use a hunting rifle when I was younger, but I never used it,” I say. “I’m really not one for violence.”
“Yeah? What about defense? What if your beau decides it’d be fun to try and blow you up?”
“Ned Land, that’s--”
“You don’t think it could happen? Fine, then what about that Hatteras guy? What if he shows up under your bed one night?”
“…………”
Ned Land and I stare each other down before I slowly reach out my hand and say: “Give me that gun.”
Ned Land puts the gun in my hand, and I’m surprised by how heavy it is.
“Okay, now aim it at the target.” Ned takes a step back and watches as I lift the gun.
Then he bursts out laughing.
“What, are you going to a fencing match or something? Does m’lady want me to fetch her rapier?”
I glare at him out of the corner of my eyes. “There are a million reasons to laugh at me, Ned, and most of them don’t require you taking the time to put a gun in my hand.” I lower the weapon and begin to walk away when Ned shoos me back to the target.
“No, no, come on. Here, spread your legs apart and don’t lock those knees up. Keep them loose, bend them a bit. Use both hands to hold the pistol. You don’t want to look tough, you want to be effective.”
I follow Ned’s instructions and take a deep breath when he takes a step back.
“Okay, on the count of three, I want you to fire. One—”
“Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait a minuuuuuuute!”
My breath is gone in a moment, but I’m too nervous to tear my eyes away from the target so I can only hear Nemo as he swaggers in.
“Wheeeeeere are you aiming, my dear? You’re more likely to hit the ceeeeeeeiling than any person with a stance like that!”
His words are so acidic that my chest burns when he calls me ‘my dear’.
“Looks fine to me,” says Ned.
“It looks fine to yooooooooou because you’re a 200cm tall imbecile who can’t looooooook beyond his nooooooooose! Or maybe you’re so used to harpooning that you’ve gotten your angles mixed uuuuup! Either waaaaaay…”
I shiver when Nemo steps behind me and put his hands on my arms.
“Lower,” he says. “Looooooooooower…”
I bring the pistol down to the height he insists on.
“The man was right about oooooone thing… accuracy over style is beeeeeest for beginners. Don’t aim for the heeeeead…”
He pokes the back of my head.
“Aim for the torsoooo…”
He drags his finger down the back of my neck and the length of my spine, making my hairs stand on end.
He puts his hands on my hips and moves one of his legs in-between mine, making my eyelids flutter for a split second until I realize he’s trying to fix my stance.
“My sweetheart wouldn’t forgive me for leaving you alone with that creep,” Ned mutters, crossing his arms. “But I really don’t want to stick around for this. Just remember, Polly: that guy’s half the reason I wanted to teach you how to fire a gun in the first place.”
“She would neeeeeeeeeever have shot me with such a bad stance!” Nemo guffaws. “Shoo.”
I hear Ned Land groan as he exits, shutting the door behind him.
“I wasn’t planning on—”
“You shush,” says Nemo. He runs his hands back up my body and adjusts my shoulders while muttering: “And people say myyyyyyyyyy posture is bad…”
It feels so good for him to touch me again. Even if it’s just for a lesson, I never want to forget this sensation. His hands are so warm I can feel the heat through the fabric. I’m losing my mind just being close to him again.
Damn it all! Damn Aleister and damn me too! When Nemo lets go of my shoulders I lower the gun to look back at him.
He looks a little surprised—at least, that’s what the noise that comes out of his mouth tells me—but he still bends towards me as I arch up to press my lips to his.
Closed mouth, lips to lips. It’s still so wonderful that my mouth aches for more as we part.
The silence that follows is unbearable.
I finally speak to fill it: “Hatteras wanted me to tell him if I was a good person,”
I’m surprised when the edges of Nemo’s lips tug into a smile and he lets out a giggle. “Now you’ve got meeeeeeee curious, too! What did you tell hiiiiiiiiim?”
“I don’t know…” I say. “He wanted to know if a person could still be good if they willingly stay at the sides of those who hurt others. Do I really do that...? I don’t know how to answer him. What do you think, Nemo? Am I…”
I look away. “Am I a good person?”
Nemo tilts his head and idly toys with the gun that—when did he take that?! I look from my empty hands to his awful grin.
“I have a better questiooooooon for you, my darling,” he says. “Do you caaaaaaare whether you are or not?”
I look up at him.
‘That crazed, dangerous grin that you fell in love with.’
Hatteras’ quiet voice shoots through my mind like ice, and my stomach lurches. A realization hits me, no matter how much I want to keep it buried.
I take a deep breath. “I don’t. I really don’t care… not one bit.”
Nemo shrugs, swinging the gun back and forth on his finger like it’s a toy instead of a weapon. “The definiiiiiiition of a ‘good person’ is uuuuusually dictated by victors. The magnetic puuuuull of a moral compass is skewed by politics, biases, wealth… that’s why I laughed when the Royal Society tooooold me I didn’t have ooooone. My ‘ethics’, if they can be called that, are dictated by nobody but myself.”
“And what are your ethics telling you now?” I tilt my head.
Nemo scrunches his nose and looks deep in thought.
“Weapons are fuuuuuuuuuuun,” he finally says as he sets the gun down.
“That’s… it?”
“That’s aaaaaaaaaaall I feel the need to tell you.”
His serious voice is a grim reminder of the distance between us. That even though we were touching only moments before, our minds were separated by a valley of distrust.
And our hearts…
My thought process is interrupted by Nemo grabbing my wrists and yanking me up so I’m barely on my tiptoes and staring into the cold metal of his goggles.
I try to tell him that I really do want to understand him, but when I open my mouth he covers it with his own, sliding his tongue in so deep that I’m afraid I’ll choke. I squeeze my eyes shut and try to fend his tongue off with my own, but this only makes him moan and grip my wrists tighter.
I flush as I realize that I’m moaning as well, though it’s drowned out by his volume. He must hear it, though, because when he finally pulls back his breathless smile tells me that he knows everything.
“I really… reeeeeeeeeeally wish you hadn’t pissed me off…”
He leans forward and runs his tongue over my lower lip before taking it into his mouth and nipping it with such sharpness that I can taste my own blood when he kisses me again.
“Even now I’m a slave to the beauty of sciiieeencee…..” his voice is muffled by our kisses. “You don’t understand me at all, and yeeeet…”
He pulls me to stand on top of his boots so we’re closer in height before kissing me again, this time gently as he wraps his arms around me.
“You have my body completely ensnared… feeeeeeeel it?”
He moves his leg and pushes me against him, and I nod breathlessly.
“You’re the biology professooooor, Polly-chaaaaaan. Tell me, what should we do noooooow?”
I throw my arms around his neck and kiss him so hard that even his confused noise is crushed under my lips. Nemo stumbles back against the wall, making it easier for me to keep his shoulders pinned as I continue to kiss him.
But why do I feel so empty? He wants it, I want it, but… it’s not the same if there’s no connection behind it, no desire to express love for one another.
Even as he runs his fingers through my hair and practically rips my braid undone, I think about how much I would rather hold him and tell him how much he means to me. Something he surely wouldn’t listen to right now.
“I…” I keep on kissing him, despite tears welling in my eyes. “I miss you so much!”
I wrap my arms around his waist before I melt into sobs, burying my head in his shoulder.
It’s a long time before Nemo shifts.
“Mmm…” he turns his head and rests his cheek on my shoulder. “It’s so nice to be the ‘wanted’ ooooone…”
He gently begins to pet my hair, shushing me like I’m a fussing child.
“Do you know what feels even better, though… my Pauline?”
I lean my head into his neck, enjoying his warmth again. It’s been too long.
He continues to pet my hair as he murmurs: “Holding that power over someone else.”
I furrow my eyebrows as I try to make sense of what he’s saying before I’m suddenly shoved back. As I stumble, Nemo grabs the pistol and aims.
I’m not breathing as I feel the bullet whizz past my body and thunk into something hard. Trembling, I look over my shoulder to see a small device in the wall, now smoking and sputtering sparks.
“Scaaaaaaaaaared?” His mad smile widens. “Gooooood…” He tilts his head as if to examine me before straightening up. “But I really was just tired of our intimaaaaate moments being broadcast…”
“Hatteras,” I mutter. I look back at Nemo, trying to think of what to say next.
“Nemo, I’m…” I take a deep breath. “I’m sorry I didn’t try to understand. I was just so angry and hurt, I…”
He cuts me off with a sharp wave of his hand before turning on his heels.
“See you laaaaaater… Aronnax.”
He looks away, humming to himself like I’m not even there anymore.
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