#howell;clover;thread

[babyitsmagic]

@daydreambclievers sent: 🔪 from clover!! || and is getting a bonus starter || Send me 🔪 for my muse’s reaction to yours shoving them against a wall and pressing a knife to their throat

howell laughs as she manages to pull this off. not a sane reaction under different circumstances. but he can't stop the swell of absolute pride over how well she's managed to position them. if she were nearly anyone else, he'd be very afraid. she could do real damage. instead, he grins at her, a real smile, one where his fangs are visible but it's not a threat. it's just a level of comfort that he has with both mei and clover. "i don't think i have anything else to teach you at this point. you're better than me."

[babyitsmagic]

he sees that look and he considers letting it go before deciding to give her a not-insignificant reminder. "clover. your mother lets me murder people. regularly. and not all of them are enemies of the court. more than one of them have been people who had the gall to flirt with your father." he thinks people have learned to stop doing that one but who knows. maybe he'll make a meal out of someone foolish enough to try again. "...do you want me to eat her?" maybe it's not the most helpful thing to say, but it is still the thing he's best at. and he's more than willing to do it if it will make clover feel better. "two things, i think. he wasn't afraid of me and he didn't want to change me. there were other things. little moments. but those are the significant factors."

clover rolls her eyes when he says her mother would understand. she would probably understand getting upset, but she has a hard time believing her mom wouldn’t be at least a little upset about the stabbing bit. she listens as howell explains, trying to see how it would work for her. “it makes sense. i guess i could try it. i’d have to figure out what the outlet would be. and i didn’t expect to feel so many things at once. it was actually batshit. like, one minute things were perfect and then it was just blowing up in my face.” she still has a hard time accepting things happened the way they did. “i mean, she said she loved me. she said she was mine. and then she wouldn’t move here and she was worried about her family and i could’ve understood that but she said they might not even miss her. and now i don’t have her and i still miss her. and i think i’d rather let someone stab me than go through a fight like that again.” she looks over at her uncle, trying to decide if she actually wants to ask the question on her mind. “how’d you know tadhg was worth not letting the hunger win?”

[babyitsmagic]

there's a lot of information here, and he takes a moment to unpack all of it. he notes the name wisteria. just in case. and tries very much not to think about where her sentence about the stabbing was going to end. "i... don't. i think that's not uncommon for the folk. i've heard that we feel things more strongly than mortals, anyway. and i think even your mom might actually relate to the feeling more than you'd expect. for me, it's just... hunger. i'm kind of always hungry, and learning to live with it and not act on it is a battle i'm still fighting. it's not something i've mastered. i don't even know if i can ever really control it. not the way merrick can, at least. and the solution i've found is mostly just to eat more often than is necessarily uh... efficient. maybe finding an outlet would help? a way to let out the emotions when they're less overwhelming so they don't feel as overwhelming when they're there? that's sort of the closest to what i do, at least."

“she’s not dead. i did stab her, but that wasn’t a dealbreaker for her, believe it or not. she was actually going to let me stab her again, but only…nevermind, that is not uncle talk.” and not what she wanted the advice on. “i think, maybe, i overreacted. and i think you might be the only one who will get why i think that but also not judge me for it? like mathilda will not think it’s an overreaction, mom or dad would definitely try and turn into some sort of lesson. but…do you ever get so upset, not even mad. any of the bad feelings, that you just explode? and have you figured out how to not do that? there’s…well, i feel like there’s probably no fixing things with wisteria, but it’d be nice to know how to not do it. and you’ll probably want more details, which i can give, if that’s the kind of thing you think you could help with?”

[babyitsmagic]

"...if she's not dead, i'm not entirely certain i'll have any advice. outside of tadhg, i haven't... well, there isn't anyone i can think of that i've been with in any sort of capacity that didn't become food later." maybe that should bother him. it doesn't. and he thinks it won't bother clover either, which makes it easy to say. "but i can try?"

“actually, there was something i wanted to talk to you about,” she says, her voice a little nervous. it’s not that she thinks her uncle will judge her, she knows he won’t, but she doesn’t really want to have this conversation with anyone. if she has to have it though, howell seems like the safest person. “i, uh, messed up pretty good with, fuck, i guess she’s my ex girlfriend now. and i don’t know. i thought maybe i could talk to you about it? see if you had any advice? my parents are a little too well adjusted for this kind of thing.”

[babyitsmagic]

"you and me both." it doesn't stop the bloodlust for him, but nothing really does. he's learned to live with it. and mei and occasionally calix and even sometimes aster do a good job of ensuring he never goes too long between solid meals. he's happy to eat an enemy of the court or the family whenever asked. "do you want to go another round today or do you want to take your win and do something else now?"

clover laughs when he says she won’t stay better. he just had to sneak it in there, didn’t he? it’s so like her uncle. “i agree, it’s very good for both of us. can you imagine what a menace i’d be without an outlet for my aggression?” not that it gets it all out, but most of it. and it’s nice to spend time with someone who understands instinctual violence. clover wouldn’t change a thing about herself for her own sake, but she knows that if she were a little less who she is, it would certainly make things easier for everyone else. and she thinks howell can relate to that plenty.

[babyitsmagic]

over the years it's only been getting more challenging for him to not lose their matches, and she's absolutely kicked his ass today. he thinks that she is better than him at this point, but he's not going to argue, so he focuses instead on her question. "of course we'll still spar. you won't stay better than me if we don't. and it's good for both of us." okay, so maybe he is arguing a tiny bit, but he can't help it. she deserves to know how well she's doing.

clover is a very confident girl, but somehow she’s still surprised she’s managed to pull this one off. her uncle always seems to be just quicker than her. and now, she’s actually managed to pin him down. she grins, the expression taking over her entire face and almost too soft for someone with their knife against someone else’s throat. she’s a little out of breath when she lowers the knife to sheath it at her side. “i don’t know about better yet, closer to equal.” a concession she’d give to very few people, but howell’s always been one of her favorites. “we’ll still spar, right?” she hopes the answer is yes so she can still have her time with him. and because she tends to scare everyone else away.

[daydreambclievers]

“howell. those were people she didn’t like. i stabbed someone i love. can you imagine her stabbing my dad? she would never. she wouldn’t even consider it. she might cry at the thought…though, she might be off her rocker enough that she would let it go if he stabbed her. but then you might kill him if he did that.” she loves her dad. she loves her mom. she loves her step mom. but none of her parental figures will ever get her the way howell does. why he’s so insistent on arguing that fact, she doesn’t understand. maybe the whole protective of her mother thing. he was so devoted to her mother it would make her sick if she didn’t secretly, desperately hope to be as connected to someone as those two. she laughs at the offer. “it’s tempting, but i think her family has some people it wouldn’t be worth pissing off by killing her. trust me, some days, i want to rip her heart out so she can’t love anyone ever again. if she ever even actually loved me,” she answers, perhaps more honestly than the question begged. she nods and almost smiles. she’s happy howell has tadhg, that he found someone who loves him, but it’s hard to feel that when she’s so heartsick. “…would you move back to the court of clover for him?”

clover rolls her eyes when he says her mother would understand. she would probably understand getting upset, but she has a hard time believing her mom wouldn’t be at least a little upset about the stabbing bit. she listens as howell explains, trying to see how it would work for her. “it makes sense. i guess i could try it. i’d have to figure out what the outlet would be. and i didn’t expect to feel so many things at once. it was actually batshit. like, one minute things were perfect and then it was just blowing up in my face.” she still has a hard time accepting things happened the way they did. “i mean, she said she loved me. she said she was mine. and then she wouldn’t move here and she was worried about her family and i could’ve understood that but she said they might not even miss her. and now i don’t have her and i still miss her. and i think i’d rather let someone stab me than go through a fight like that again.” she looks over at her uncle, trying to decide if she actually wants to ask the question on her mind. “how’d you know tadhg was worth not letting the hunger win?”

[daydreambclievers]

clover is a very confident girl, but somehow she’s still surprised she’s managed to pull this one off. her uncle always seems to be just quicker than her. and now, she’s actually managed to pin him down. she grins, the expression taking over her entire face and almost too soft for someone with their knife against someone else’s throat. she’s a little out of breath when she lowers the knife to sheath it at her side. “i don’t know about better yet, closer to equal.” a concession she’d give to very few people, but howell’s always been one of her favorites. “we’ll still spar, right?” she hopes the answer is yes so she can still have her time with him. and because she tends to scare everyone else away.

@daydreambclievers sent: 🔪 from clover!! || and is getting a bonus starter || Send me 🔪 for my muse’s reaction to yours shoving them against a wall and pressing a knife to their throat

howell laughs as she manages to pull this off. not a sane reaction under different circumstances. but he can't stop the swell of absolute pride over how well she's managed to position them. if she were nearly anyone else, he'd be very afraid. she could do real damage. instead, he grins at her, a real smile, one where his fangs are visible but it's not a threat. it's just a level of comfort that he has with both mei and clover. "i don't think i have anything else to teach you at this point. you're better than me."

[daydreambclievers]

clover rolls her eyes when he says her mother would understand. she would probably understand getting upset, but she has a hard time believing her mom wouldn’t be at least a little upset about the stabbing bit. she listens as howell explains, trying to see how it would work for her. “it makes sense. i guess i could try it. i’d have to figure out what the outlet would be. and i didn’t expect to feel so many things at once. it was actually batshit. like, one minute things were perfect and then it was just blowing up in my face.” she still has a hard time accepting things happened the way they did. “i mean, she said she loved me. she said she was mine. and then she wouldn’t move here and she was worried about her family and i could’ve understood that but she said they might not even miss her. and now i don’t have her and i still miss her. and i think i’d rather let someone stab me than go through a fight like that again.” she looks over at her uncle, trying to decide if she actually wants to ask the question on her mind. “how’d you know tadhg was worth not letting the hunger win?”

“she’s not dead. i did stab her, but that wasn’t a dealbreaker for her, believe it or not. she was actually going to let me stab her again, but only…nevermind, that is not uncle talk.” and not what she wanted the advice on. “i think, maybe, i overreacted. and i think you might be the only one who will get why i think that but also not judge me for it? like mathilda will not think it’s an overreaction, mom or dad would definitely try and turn into some sort of lesson. but…do you ever get so upset, not even mad. any of the bad feelings, that you just explode? and have you figured out how to not do that? there’s…well, i feel like there’s probably no fixing things with wisteria, but it’d be nice to know how to not do it. and you’ll probably want more details, which i can give, if that’s the kind of thing you think you could help with?”

[daydreambclievers]

“she’s not dead. i did stab her, but that wasn’t a dealbreaker for her, believe it or not. she was actually going to let me stab her again, but only…nevermind, that is not uncle talk.” and not what she wanted the advice on. “i think, maybe, i overreacted. and i think you might be the only one who will get why i think that but also not judge me for it? like mathilda will not think it’s an overreaction, mom or dad would definitely try and turn into some sort of lesson. but…do you ever get so upset, not even mad. any of the bad feelings, that you just explode? and have you figured out how to not do that? there’s…well, i feel like there’s probably no fixing things with wisteria, but it’d be nice to know how to not do it. and you’ll probably want more details, which i can give, if that’s the kind of thing you think you could help with?”

“actually, there was something i wanted to talk to you about,” she says, her voice a little nervous. it’s not that she thinks her uncle will judge her, she knows he won’t, but she doesn’t really want to have this conversation with anyone. if she has to have it though, howell seems like the safest person. “i, uh, messed up pretty good with, fuck, i guess she’s my ex girlfriend now. and i don’t know. i thought maybe i could talk to you about it? see if you had any advice? my parents are a little too well adjusted for this kind of thing.”

[daydreambclievers]

“actually, there was something i wanted to talk to you about,” she says, her voice a little nervous. it’s not that she thinks her uncle will judge her, she knows he won’t, but she doesn’t really want to have this conversation with anyone. if she has to have it though, howell seems like the safest person. “i, uh, messed up pretty good with, fuck, i guess she’s my ex girlfriend now. and i don’t know. i thought maybe i could talk to you about it? see if you had any advice? my parents are a little too well adjusted for this kind of thing.”

clover laughs when he says she won’t stay better. he just had to sneak it in there, didn’t he? it’s so like her uncle. “i agree, it’s very good for both of us. can you imagine what a menace i’d be without an outlet for my aggression?” not that it gets it all out, but most of it. and it’s nice to spend time with someone who understands instinctual violence. clover wouldn’t change a thing about herself for her own sake, but she knows that if she were a little less who she is, it would certainly make things easier for everyone else. and she thinks howell can relate to that plenty.

[daydreambclievers]

clover laughs when he says she won’t stay better. he just had to sneak it in there, didn’t he? it’s so like her uncle. “i agree, it’s very good for both of us. can you imagine what a menace i’d be without an outlet for my aggression?” not that it gets it all out, but most of it. and it’s nice to spend time with someone who understands instinctual violence. clover wouldn’t change a thing about herself for her own sake, but she knows that if she were a little less who she is, it would certainly make things easier for everyone else. and she thinks howell can relate to that plenty.

clover is a very confident girl, but somehow she’s still surprised she’s managed to pull this one off. her uncle always seems to be just quicker than her. and now, she’s actually managed to pin him down. she grins, the expression taking over her entire face and almost too soft for someone with their knife against someone else’s throat. she’s a little out of breath when she lowers the knife to sheath it at her side. “i don’t know about better yet, closer to equal.” a concession she’d give to very few people, but howell’s always been one of her favorites. “we’ll still spar, right?” she hopes the answer is yes so she can still have her time with him. and because she tends to scare everyone else away.