#huge fucking autism win

[actually-autisticc]

FOXY

IS

SO

CUTE

LOOK AT HOW HIS EARS PERK UP LIKE THAT 😭😭😭😭😭😭

I FUCKING LOVE YOU

[anendoandfriendo]

We think. Hm. We don't understand everything and we might fuck up this posts phrasing because we're goy and also from the US but. That Jewish grandmother down the street is very likely not the reason Palestinians are getting bombed.

Making people afraid to stand up against a genocide by attempting to make it seem that like anyone who does is an antisemite seems. Bad.

So like. WDK. WDK about all of the dogwhistles and sometimes we get a bit afraid to reblog something because we are deathly afraid of spreading misinformation on something this serious. Or like in our efforts to condemn the genocide against Palestinians we will accidentally spread antisemitism, the latter of which we do not want. Like.

How the fuck can something be both complicated and uncomplicated? Genocide is not okay. But also again that Jewish grandmother down the street is very likely not the reason Palestinians are getting bombed. Our Jewish friend isn't the reason Palestinians are getting murdered. Saying "Jewish people control the media" is absolutely antisemitism but how do we even talk to people about like "no listen Isreal specifically has US support but thats not the same as OH NO!! JEWISH PEOPLE!!" because let's be honest, most people don't even get that far into unpacking their bigotry.

Sometimes, we want to scream because more than one oppression can exist. WDK how to grapple with those feelings. But also people are getting murdered a half a world away somewhere. Our neighbors are not the reason those people are dying. It is not complicated because genocide is bad. It is complicated because of how everything has been or can be so contorted out of context to justify bigotry.

But if we say that, people will assume we're a raging bigot in either direction. Flip a coin, we guess, to see which direction.

There are people out there who have been grappling with this much longer than we have. Is it even okay for us to grapple with this when people are being murdered en masse??

Genocide by itself is not okay. Neither is it okay to use the victims of a genocide to spread hatred.

None of this is okay.

[byanyan]

ㅤat this point, they're beyond wasted and vibing out to music that's too loud with several substances on standby for when the buzz starts wearing off. happy new year!!

[diancite]

aaahhhhhhhim so excited :3

bought myself a new tablet and itll be my first display tablet!!!! cuz my current is so messed up. i scratched da screen so bad its been getting harder to use... aaawwaaaaughghghgh

[moe-broey]

AUTISM WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[lightvixxen]

My Eddie munson HCS

Making this purely bc im fucking tired of people making Eddie overly gross, idc if he was a metal head in the 80s he’s not as gross as y’all make him out to be!

First things fucking first, EDDIE DOESNT SMELL LIKE B.O!! Does he smell heavily of cheap cologne, cigarettes, and weed? Absolutely but he doesn’t smell terrible

He may not regularly shower but the second his hair gets a little too greasy he needs to immediately shower because of sensory issues.

I think y’all forget that Eddie gets bullied on the regular already, he wouldn’t give them more ammo, especially when it comes to him being poor.

He either has ADHD or Autism, maybe both so sensory is a huge thing.

Not a virgin! Is he slightly inexperienced? Absolutely. Is he awkward at first? Absofuckinglutely but he’s not a Virgin. Your telling me he wouldn’t drive to the cities for bookstores and bars? He’s had hookups, especially considering gas was a little cheaper in 1986! ALSO HANDCUFFS IN HIS ROOM PEOPLE!!! THEY’RE BOTH FOR DECORATION AND USE!!

HE CAN FUCKING COOK!! Y’all he’s poor and lives in a trailer park, he was taught how to cook by SOMEONE, also he can grill…he makes a mean steak!

Burnt out gifted kid

Eddie as a boyfriend is both a mixture of him being a loving, doting boyfriend and a complete ass, he would do cute shit with you but the second you enter hellfire and his campaign he’s a asshole because he doesn’t want to get distracted from what he’s been hyperfixated on.

He will not let you sit on his lap during hellfire! He’s getting up and then sitting back down too much and would throw you out of his lap.

Makes up for being a total ass during it with being and amazing boyfriend and making you dinner <3

Depression ✨ the reason his room is an absolute disaster is because he has depression and i have absolutely no excuse for the mattress, but it’s also most likely fucking old and Eddie is prone to spilling his drinks in bed and using his blankets to cover it while it dries.

He has a thing about being touched. If he’s not warned or its by someone he doesn’t know he’ll get extremely uncomfortable, of course there’s very few exceptions to this.

He’s so fucking traumatized, flinches whenever someone moves too fast.

He cannot win fights for the life of him but he will not back down from one, he knows very well he’ll get his ass kicked and still won’t back down.

Eddie would probably use he/they or they/them in a modern setting

BENDY, HES FLEXIBLE AS FUCK he could’ve been in gymnastics if wayne had the money/he had the interest

He’s bi end of discussion

[drdemonprince]

Hey Doc, any advice on how to determine at what point something crosses the line from me struggling with nueroconforming communication and becomes discrimination?

Context:

I'm out trans at work but have not disclosed my autism. I am constantly getting tone-policed and told I don't communicate well. I keep implementing feedback and communicating as clearly as I can with the criteria I am given, and I keep getting ignored.

When I'm blunt I'm told I am being harsh and need to be softer. When I'm soft I'm told I need to be more blunt to get my point across. When I'm detailed in asking for something I'm told I need to be more brief if I want people to actually read my requests. When I'm brief my requests are ignored entirely and unless I produce screenshots or email chains I'm told I never asked at all. ETC. No matter what I get ignored until the minor issue I was flagging becomes a huge emergency, and then I am asked why I did not say anything sooner.

While this pattern of being ignored has happened to me many times at past workplaces, there were never complaints about my communication skills when I was closeted and boymoding, people just admitted they ignored me and it was their fault. However this is with a new company than the one I worked at before I was out so I'm having a hard time telling if I'm being fucked with for being trans or if this is just the "normal" 'tism office experience but the blame is being shifted to me at this new place. I want to take feedback and learn to be a clearer communicator but starting to feel like my communication is not the issue.

Note: this is not a sexism thing because I have two coworkers and one supervisor who are cis women that do not have this problem, everyone listens to them.

Thanks so much, been pulling my hair out over this for a year now and feel like I'm going crazy.

This is a very, very common experience for trans femme people -- and it is absolutely caused by transmisogyny. I have noticed that trans women truly cannot win. When they explain information carefully to try and educate others, they are accused of being condescending, inaccessible, and difficult to understand. When they cease trying to be heard by people who willfully refuse to hear them, they get criticized for not being approachable or a team player. They're penalized for assertiveness, being told that it's too masculine, and then if they're passive, they get completely ignored.

You are not crazy. You are not making the wrong choice or communicating poorly. You are being targeted by a pervasive systemic bias, and there's probably very little that you could do to make it not happen to you.

A friend of mine once told me that when they were in kind of an awkward-feeling phase of their transition, people suddenly stopped laughing at their jokes. Cashiers, coworkers, random acquaintances at parties, and other people they had easily charmed in the past would suddenly react as if they were not there. Instead of even acknowledging their remarks, my friend was met with a completely neutral stone-faced expression.

For my friend, this phase eventually dissipated and their transition progressed and they arrived at a place where they felt more comfortable and other people found them easier to read by binary, cissexist norms. They still had to deal with sexism in their highly male-dominated workplace, but after a certain point, they became an acknowledgeable human again.

This wasn't about passing as cis, not exactly anyway, because my friend actually never passed as cis ever in their life, not even before their transition. But it was about legibility and their social positioning as a trans femme. When their transition was obviously a thing that was happening but which cis people didn't know how to read or respect, my friend dealt with the full force of transphobic prejudice, and it did ebb a bit once they arrived at a place where they were both more comfortable in themselves, and (probably more importantly, unfortunately) other people were more comfortable with them. The best way I can explain it, from what they told me, was that it was a combination of transmisogyny and hatred of nonbinary and gender-nonconforming people.

It was horrific and unfair that they had to pass through that, and of course many nonbinary and trans femme people live in that area of dehumanization and isolation for all of their lives. But I felt that was a worthwhile anecdote to add, because in some ways it has some parallels to what is happening to you. It might be that gradually people start treating you better, in line with more everyday workplace sexism, as I've witnessed many trans femme people eventually get professionally slotted into a more collectively accepted feminine role after being disrespected for many months or even years. But it does not always happen either, and even when it does, it was after enduring a ton of abuse and learning how tentative people's acceptance always really was -- and there's no unknowing that and unliving it once you have.

I think the workplace culture that you're in is treating you in an unacceptable way, and that you've already tried far more than you should have to in trying to make yourself legible to them. I don't have high hopes that anything you do could have the power to shift this toxically transmisogynistic culture. It's not how you are communicating, it's not how you look, it's not because you're Autistic, it's not because you're a woman -- it's because they are transmisogynistic and are penalizing you for their discomfort and lack of communication skills.

You can, I think, absolve yourself of any feelings of responsibility for managing how other people react to you. Hope can sometimes be a poison that we keep drinking over and over again, believing that we have control over whether or not it will harm us. It's okay to accept instead that nothing good will come of drawing from that well, and choosing not to imbibe it.

The choice for you, then, is how best to survive in an environment where you are treated this way. What can you do to document that you are performing the work as asked? Can you request examples or templates of 'correctly' done work, or explanations, so that you can point out that you are meeting expectations as they have been outlined? Are there people at work who have been treated unfairly too, whom you can communicate with?

(Transmisogyny, I have noticed, often parallels anti-Blackness in certain mechanisms that it uses. Many Black people are accused of being "confusing" to understand when they try to explain basic experiences of bias, or are seen as too "hostile" in similar ways, particularly Black women, and sometimes community can be built along those or other lines. If you have a union, I would certainly consider speaking to union leadership about this if you trust them. Be careful in how you go about agitating against pervasive problems like these at work -- the messenger is frequently punished. But, you might find some solace and some possibility of a culture change in the long-term if it is fought for alongside comrades rather than alone.)

Realistically, you will probably need to build an escape route for yourself. Whether that's by psychologically detaching from your workplace as much as possible, letting them fail for having not listened to you, and finding your belonging elsewhere, or whether that's by finding another job or quitting is for you to decide. I wish the options were better, but I think taking honest stock of what the problem is and accepting that it's not a social dynamic that you have the power to correct can be clarifying, at least. I hope people with similar experiences will sound off in the comments with advice or validation.

Best of luck, and I'm so sorry this is happening. Please keep me updated on what ends up working best for you.

[whomadewaffles]

PART 3 of 3 of my Pjhazel incorrect qoutes! Sadly the last part.. at least for now. I won't say for definite there won't be more cos I adore this movie and this ship especially, but may take some time.

Same things apply to this one as the others, hope these were as fun to read as they were to make! This one became longer than I intended because I just had to add a few new ones too it especially the code names one because It made me chuckle and fit so well.

-----

Pj: I’m in lov—

Pj: Lov—

Pj: I have feelin—

Josie: It’s okay, take your time.

Pj: ...Hazel.

-------

Pj *to hazel*: If I have developed a huge crush on you, that's my business. It literally has nothing to do with you.

--------

Hazel: Autism speaks?

Hazel: Yeah, I never shut the fuck up.

-------

Pj: Horny doesn’t always mean wanting to have sex. Sometimes it means wanting to be beat up or stabbed or something.

-------

Hazel: I like wearing oversized sweaters. Not just because they're extremely comfy and cuddly, but because whenever the sleeves are really big, I get to flop them around and smack people.

_______

Pj: I- hm...

Hazel: be nice

Pj: Of course! I'm finding kind words.

Hazel

Pj:....

Hazel:

Pj:...

Hazel: ... it takes you that long to find-

Pj: It does! I'm trying!

--------

Ms. Callahan: You're not good enough for my daughter

Pj: YOU'RE not good enough for your daughter

Ms. Callahan: Excuse me?!

Pj: You heard me

--------

Hazel: I set off explosives to feel joy.

Pj: That's adorable.

-------

Pj *delusional from a punch to the face during fight club*: You have... beautiful eyes..

Hazel *flustered*: She's lost her mind!

------

Hazel: I have no idea what's going on but I am being so brave about it.

-----

Pj *to hazel*: Why do you keep looking me in the eyes? My huge tits are down here

------

Hazel *is sad*

Pj:*looks up “how to comfort someone”*

Website: “Do not make insensitive comments or mock the person”

Pj: Fuck.

-------

Hazel: Are you okay?

Pj: In what aspect? Phisically, no injury whatsoever and no signs of exhaustion. Appearance wise, I'm not just okay, I'm a whole ass meal. We're talking three courses, five stars.

Hazel:

Pj: But mentally? I could use some therapy I guess.

------

Pj: it may have been a stupid decision, but it was MY stupid decision and I could never turn my back on it

------

Hazel: please, stay out of trouble

Pj: Not my strong suit

-------

Pj *about Hazel*: *sighs* God, what a loser. I can't believe I'm gonna sleep with her.

Josie: I mean, you don't have to.

Pj: Nah, I'm gonna.

-------

Pj: Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day?

Hazel: Yes. It's February 14th.

Pj: I- Nevermind.

-------

*Texting*

Pj: I wanna sleep with you.

Pj: But like in the innocent way.

Pj: ...

Pj: Get your bitch ass over here and cuddle with me you little shit!

Hazel: Damn Pj, calm down, I'm putting my shoes on.

Pj: <3

------

Hazel: Sometimes sarcasm is laid on so thick that even I can detect it.

Hazel: This was not one of those times.

--------

Pj: I love you.

Hazel: I love you too. I've waited so long to hear you say that.

*pj and Hazel make out passionately*

Sylvie, to annie: You owe me 20 dollars.

-------

Hazel *after Pj insults someone*: I know Pj is very sorry and didn’t mean it.

Pj: Very sorry.

Hazel: See?

Pj: But I did mean it.

Hazel: pj!

---------

Brittney: Why are you ignoring Hazel?

Pj: I’m playing hard to get.

Brittney: Why would you do that? You’re already hard to want.

-------

Pj: Not much could ruin today.

Jeff: Hey overall bitch #2

Pj: Oh, Fuck. I forgot saying that summons him.

-------

*just before josie and pj find the other fight club members at the game to apologise*

Josie: Talk to Hazel first, and apologise. That's what friends do.

Pj: Urgh, I really don’t want too. I was just gonna wait til' I'm on my deathbed, get in the last word and then die immediately.

Josie: That was your plan for dealing with this???

Pj: That's my plan for dealing with everything. I have seventy-seven arguments I'm gonna win that way.

Josie *drags her to the football game*: Nope, we're doing the apology instead.

-------

Pj: Quick, Hazel, start talking about boring nerd shit!

Hazel: You know, nerd culture is mainstream now, so when you use the word “nerd” derogatorily, it means you’re the one that’s out of the zeitgeist.

Pj: Yes, that’s perfect. Just like that.

--------

*backstory: the cheerleaders are at practice and the rest of the club are getting together to help plan a perfect promposal for josie to give to isabel*

Pj: From now on, we'll be using code names. You can address me as 'Eagle 1.'

Pj: Hazel is 'Currently doing that.'

Hazel: *high fives pj*

Pj: Sylvie is 'It happened once in a dream.'

Pj: Annie. Codename - 'If I had to pick a republican.'

Pj: josie is... 'Eagle 2.'

Josie: Oh, thank god.

--------

[mywingsareonwheels]

Modern technology/works/understanding/etc. I'd like to give "Endeavour" characters...

Morse: noise-cancelling headphones, an mp3 player with a huge amount of opera on it, non-alcoholic real ales (St Peter's Without, the alcohol-free Doom Bar, etc.), a subscription to medici.tv, awareness of Joyce DiDonato's voice. Shadi Bartsch's translation of The Aeneid. Awareness of ADHD and autism as Relevant To Him and some suitable online community. Also some therapy but that goes without saying...

Fred Thursday: Fred. <3 awareness of PTSD and C-PTSD as A Thing and both being relevant in his case (from the war & work and his childhood respectively) even more therapy than Morse needs. All those youtube channels with 24/7 livestreams of various wildlife. The complete works of Terry Pratchett. I'm almost tempted to say fandom spaces because the gentler of them might actually appeal to him a lot.

Max Debryn: more recent medical knowledge. Modern queer community including the more awesome online bits. The work of recently rediscovered composers such as Barbara Strozzi and Joseph Bologne. Possibly Carol Ann Duffy's poetry. Elly Griffiths' "Ruth Galloway" novels if he fancies a busman's holiday read. ;-) Other than that I think he has more to teach us than the other way around. :-)

Peter Jakes: see Fred re: PTSD and C-PTSD awareness and a huge amount of therapy. I'm tempted to add at least the option of more recent help with giving up smoking given a lot more is understood these days. A Netflix subscription and an excellent gaming system. Instant messenger things so he can keep in touch with Oxford friends while in the US.

Joan Thursday: an environment in which it's more usual for women to not give up their jobs on marriage (or not get married at all). A lot of more recent folk rock, singer-songwriter, pop, and indie music might hit the spot for her to add to what she already loves. Yet more therapy. An awesome community of intersectional feminists. The complete works of bell hooks.

Win Thursday: oh Win. Therapy, the Open University. Really good couples therapy with Fred because they clearly love each other so much but *boy* do they fuck up towards each other (mostly him, but not only him). Instant messenger for better keeping in touch with everyone. An air fryer.

Sam Thursday: more therapy, and addiction help. Anger management help. Oh bless him. <3

Reginald Bright: grief counselling, instant messenger, Abir Mukherjee's detective novels, online ordering of Indian groceries, places online to put his art and get it fully admired, and then instant messenger once he moves back to India.

Jim Strange: honestly? he's the only one who seems to weirdly thrive in the time he lives. But I *would* like to throw intersectional feminist, LGBT+ and anti-racism literature at him to help avoid his less admirable moments. And actually some online community (fandom even?) so he has more people to bond with that aren't at the Lodge or at work...

[actually-autisticc]

I should be putting more thought into my work but here I am thinking about the Amazing Digital Circus

Anyway, I was rewatching it (again) and I have thoughts on it (again).

They can feel pain, right? Ragatha was in pain as she was glitching and tweaking (I love this frame). Jax said “ow” when the gloink hits him.

So Kinger says they can’t eat, drink, or sleep. You could say those things are more physical needs for the body, which they don’t exactly have. The characters are neurologically linked to the digital world (where’s the body? Slumped over? Completely fine?) cause Pomni couldn’t take the “headset” off. Then I guess you could ask what would happen to their bodies in the real world since they can’t take care of them by getting the nutritional needs etc etc. Or are their bodies still living like normal but without any real conscience since their consciousness is in the characters.

But back to pain.

Pain is physical but it’s also neurological because of pain-sensing neurons (nociceptors). It’s a message, like all movements etc, sent to the brain and thus we feel pain.

So would that mean they just have a neurological link to the digital world? Their nociceptors are more connected and they can feel pain?

But then what about in Ragatha’s introduction? She CLEARLY felt no pain cause of a fucking CLEAVER sent to her skull. And she’s probably made of felt or cloth since RAGatha and she’s Raggedy Ann’s long lost sister. She falls over, sees the cleaver, laughs it off like it’s nothing, and takes it out like a fucking girlboss. Idk if this is considered a canon thing since it’s not in the pilot but it’s an introduction to Ragatha’s character.

Bro I have no idea. My autistic brain only lets me go so far 😂

[yulsbabymama]

Disventure Camp Headcanons Part 1

AIDEN

Half Argentinian Half French Canadian

Had a huge TOP phase in middle school

Only child

Super good singer but hates hearing his voice

ALEC

Afro-Turkish and Japanese

Diagnosed w Autism when he was a child

Smokes

Started drinking shortly after he got married; relapsed after his separation w his ex

Has an older sister by 7 years

ALLY

Transgirl; came out to her grandfather and he was the only supporter she had

Definitely had obsessive love disorder when meeting Hunter the first time

Super fucking bad at dancing

Likes K-pop (Fromis_9, Stray Kids, Billlie, P1harmony, Enhypen, Stayc, aespa, ITZY)

ASHLEY

Country music defender

will actually die on the Country Music hill

like she's from Texas but she's FROM TEXAS ykwim

Transgirl; realized she was a girl at a young age and transitioned w a supporting family

Would probably roll her eyes at u if u assume she loved AppleJack when she was younger

I mean, she did

but not as much as ppl assume

CONNOR

Jewish

Despite having a booming business, he still doesn't understand technology

but he WAS a boss at programming his MySpace page

"programming is my passion" college dude

Nickelback liker

I'm so sorry

DAN

He and his sister shared a bedroom until she moved out

Actually convinced her to come back home bc he missed her

like

crying on his knees

"PLEASE COME HOME IT'S SO MISERABLE WITHOUT U THERE I MISS U"

blasting a radio to her favorite songs

did i mention he loves his sister

Pokemon kid

Oh, he's also autistic

DEREK

Half Filipino and half Columbian

Transguy; was an unhappy "girl" growing up and would refuse to listen to anyone who didn't call "her" by Derek

Facebook user

only to troll, tho

He tried trolling on Twitter too but Trevor had to pry the phone out of his hands

Secretly likes Trevor

and by secretly I mean he angry-cried while writing drafted emails of his confession

Barely cries or anything like that, emotionally, but angry-crying is his #1 basically

Is not a registered gun owner

DREW

Other than the notebook, he has a communication device

Adopted

Video games hurt his eyes

so do mobile games

Honestly i think he just needs glasses

likes dogs :)

ELLIE

Half Irish and Half Singaporean

Transgirl; came out in her last year of junior high

Middle child w two sisters

While struggling w her identity, she was a Pick Me girl to fit in #sad!

she ended up giving up on fitting in #gogirl

Malay's her first language

Mom passed when she was little

tolerates cats

FIORE

3/4th Italian 1/4th Chinese

hates horror movies

not bc she's scared of them or anything

she just thinks they suck

forced into a ton of shit to become normal

girlscouts, ballet, soccer, etc

she hated everything

but she can make a good cookie deal

GABBY

Has an unhealthy obsession w watching drag shows

she doesn't understand any of the lingo

she just thinks the outfits r pretty

LPS kid

also watches too much animal documentaries

will actually sit down and say "im bored, time to watch a 6 hour doc on cheetahs"

she just cray cray like that #loveher

unhealthy addiction to stickers

GRETT

Transgirl #slay

was a Toddlers & Tiaras kid

passenger princess

forces Yul to drive her places

they have almost broken up 5 times bc of this

she also genuinely forgot to tell him she was #trans

u should've seen the look on his face

when

..

yeah

#hedidnotcare

that's ooc but idc

she's bi :3

HUNTER

Half Chinese Half White

Dad left after his youngest sister was born

Lived in China until he was 8

He has autism

Christian btw

like pslam bunch-of-numbers in his bio

can quickly change languages like that

will talk to u in english then will answer his phone in cantonese

texts like a millennial

:/ sorry

smokes

the killers, staind, blink-182, and r.e.m fan

plays the guitar

JAKE

Half Korean Half Japanese

cannot speak those languages fluently, tho

sorry

he and his brother wrestled a lot

his brother would always win

anyways he was a theater kid

but quit bc of some drama

haha. get it ?

one of those gays who cries to mitski & ricky montgomery

but only listens to them when he needs to cry

which is often

JAMES

has been in cringe compilations before

imagine if i just ended this w just that hc

would that be funny

anyways

one of those middle schoolers who was violently supportive of the lgbtq+

like everyone knew he liked boys

except him

loves his younger sister

like a lot

they r bffies

will call her in the middle of the night randomly

"i just posted a new tiktok, go like it."

JENSEN

genuinely have nothing for him

like

can i just say he's dreamed of men shirtless before and end it at that

um so yeah

[ferretwhomst]

putting this undwr a readmore not because it's triggering or anything but it's just Long and related to boards and i don't really want to see that when i scroll on my blog. anyways

not super thrilled about tomorrow. it's my french oral board exam and orals always send me into this horrible spiral because i tend to freeze up and overthink what i'm about to say and forget words at the worst possible time. it's too spontaneous for me !!! and as a guy with autism and anxiety, improvising is literally my Weakest link. well ok the roleplay always goes fine because a. you kind of have a set template as to how to reply, and b. you get 10 minutes to think about how you're going to respond before going into the exam. but that only counts for 10 marks; the full thing is 40 marks and the bulk of that is covered by the two topic conversations. it's a huge gamble as to what topics i get and if i get ones which i'm not super sure about i tend to fumble immensely

honestly when i think about the bigger picture i don't even know What i'm upset about. i scored really well in mocks (35/40) and even in the test series before that, the time i thought i TOTALLY FLUBBED the topic conversations, i still got 31/40. that's not a bad mark at all. i think my anxiety just exaggerates how badly i do on these and doubly so because french is one of my favorite subjects and i'm GOOD at it. but yeah. even without taking marks into consideration it's just really bothersome to me how unpredictable orals are, could Not be worse for my anxiety 😔

actually, i forgot to mention that during boards they don't even release timings for the orals. you just report to the classroom at the allotted time and who goes in what order is not revealed, at all, until that moment when they have to go in and answer the questions. which is total bullshit and as you can imagine is only making me more fucking terrified about tomorrow

also: the rest of my boards officially start on the 26th of april so why do french orals have to be shoved in my face so damn early :/ obviously it'll be nice to get it over with sooner, but if i fumble i'll have to sit and try to make peace with that for like 2 weeks extra?

ALSO also idk if i've talked about this here but my mom is really into vedic astrology and shit and ended up raising me to be the most superstitious and paranoid individual alive (everyone cheer for my undiagnosed probable ocd swag). and not only is mercury retrograde currently on but also tomorrow is amavasya/no moon day and both of these are supposed to be unlucky as hell And God I Am Scared. genuinely my paranoia gets so bad during this time of year whenever i do anything i start worrying about the worst case scenario. because bad stuff ALWAYS HAPPENS during mercury retrograde and i'm scared it'll happen tomorrow at the worst possible time ☹️ man i hate being superstitious why can't i just be whimsical

small win though: despite mercury retrograde, at least the printer worked tonight when i was printing out vocab sheets

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Chortle headlines.

Some of these are interesting. I don't know if it bodes well if Paddy Young is the absolute best rookie comedians in all of Britain, but he definitely had a good show last year (that got streamed on NextUp from Edinburgh). I have trouble believing anyone wrote a show that's better than both Paul Foot's Dissolve and Ahir Shah's Ends, but to be fair, I haven't seen John Kearns' show and he is very fucking good at these things, makes me hope even more that he'll be doing something in Edinburgh while I'm there. Alex Horne got an award for Taskmaster being an outstanding achievement, not quite sure what that means but I think it's accurate. I think if you look up the definition of "breakthrough act" you'll just find a note that says "see Sam Campbell's career throughout 2023", so that couldn't really have gone any other way. I've heard Kiri Pritchard-McLean compere a bunch on NextUp things, she is in fact very good at clubs. I haven't seen any of the other nominees but I'm still sure that James Acaster deserved to win that best tour one. I couldn't stomach the amount of Celebrity Glamour in Joe Lycett's new show but he is a great comedian and he is definitely made to be a TV comedian, which in some ways could be an insult but I really mean it as a compliment, he's great at that, good for him. Munya Chawawa posts highly amusing song parodies on YouTube. Fern Brady's is one of the best comedian books I've read. Three Bean Salad I was unable to get into, but maybe I'll give it another shot sometimes, after I finish with the winners of that radio award, John and Elis - well done to them for getting over ten years and not completely falling apart. I usually find it hard to get into sketch comedy (or anything that isn't straight stand-up) but Lorna Rose Treen made me laugh with character things last summer, so she probably deserves that one.

Those are my unsolicited opinions on that. The existence of Taskmaster is definitely an outstanding achievement for all involved.

This a special feature that happens every once in a while, called "Chortle publishes the contents of Daniel Kitson's mailing list". I find it gets funnier the less it sounds like Steve Bennett knows about the news items beyond the contents of the mailing list email, and in this case, that is clearly fuck all. But anyway, it's a great show and exciting announcement, anyone who has the opportunity should go see this tour. He said in the email that he might try to get something going in NYC later this year, which would be incredibly logistically difficult for me to get to (8.5-hour drive each way if I can borrow a car from someone, which would be tough, 14 hours on the bus otherwise, I've been told I can't take any more vacation days in 2024 because I used them on the London/Edinburgh trip), but still, I have found myself wondering how I might be able to make that work if he actually announces it.

Fucking hell. I can't believe this. My local comedian Facebook group is going pretty wild in response to this news. That's fucking huge, a massive amount of stuff is centred around this. To be honest I'm still not clear on the scope of this news so I won't go into it too much, I'll just say, fucking hell. Truly shocking. That's like a sport just canceling its national championships halfway through the season.

Excellent. Everyone should read this. His 2023 show (which I think he's still touring) is one of my favourite comedy shows ever. And the one before that, which inspired this book, is also very fucking funny, though not as good as his latest one.

Also, I am up for a trend of one comedian per year writing a book about their relatively recent autism diagnosis. Who do we think it'll be in 2025? I have approximately four to five suggestions.

[bugmistake]

accepted a delivery at work and had to write a check which i havent done in years and my manager sprung it on me (sucked) (almost the only way to get me to do hard and unfamiliar things) and im hungry as FUCK so my hands were shaking on TOP of the anxiety (disordered) (autism also) and then the delivery guy was HANDSOME (fat) (beard) (septum piercing) (red glasses) so my hands were now SWEATY (anxiety disorder) (while gay) and the check TORE while i was trying to get it out of the checkbook (embarrassing) (he was very nice about it) but i SURVIVED (win) (huge win) (massive W) (invincible now) (meditated this morning) (i’m pretty sure it helped)

[frankiensteinsmonster]

🎀 Things that help me Cope with OCD in my life 🎀

My OCD is driven by anxiety around contamination and living with my partner with allergies.

TW for Disordered Eating Habits caused by OCD and mention of intrusive thoughts!

🌧️ water bottles

for hydration. Bc of a million and one reasons, I can't drink water normally. Not only am I not used to it in the first place, but I have severe anxiety around contamination, and both my mental and physical health prevent me from doing the dishes, which can impact my ability to consume Any sort of substance.

🌧️ prepackaged foods

On that note, individually wrapped foods are a huge life saver. I can't eat off our normal kitchenware if I've ingested an allergen within five hours of eating (see next item) since I can't brush my teeth until then to be sure that I'm Clean. On top of this, I have other issues that impact my ability to eat. Things like granola bars, candy, sleeves of crackers, and packaged tuna/chicken are my go-tos but other foods exist. Fruit is also a good one if there's any around!

🌧️ disposable utensils

Once again, my brain is fucked and it makes me Not Eat and dishes are Hard + not always an option. Disposable utensils are IMMENSELY helpful.

🌧️ lotion

Handsanitzer is literally like holy water to me. This is not amazing for my health or my skin. I can at least help my skin with keeping lotion on hand. Pun unintentional, but welcomed.

🌧️ masks

Not only as a COVID precaution, but as a World precaution!! I feel so safe in my mask whenever I'm out and about + added bonus of not needing to worry about my face, esp with reflective hide-y sunglasses on. Also, more specifically, I worry less about breathing in other people's AIR or them spitting on my face as they speak around/to me, which in turn, gives me less violent intrusive thoughts which is great for both of us!

🌧️ gloves

Autism + OCD combo

I love the separation between me and the outside world via All my clothes (I am usually in long sleeves and tights), but adding casual gloves have been so great for my bc although washing my hands is easier, I can avoid needing to do that so much if I have a second pair of hands I can just take off and wash later

+, as mentioned. Sensory needs.

☔Things that I'm considering and why ☔

- Tweezers for picking out medicine from their jars.

I hate sticking my hand in there + it's really hard if it's a large jar bc if I feel like I've contaminating this big fuckin jar-- my options are Worry About It Every Time I Need A Tylenol (I have fibromyalgia btw, so that's like. Every fucking day) OR I throw it out and wait, in pain, until we can get a new bottle. Tweezers will fix me.

- Smaller bottle for my bulk medicine bottles.

Basically for the same reasons as above. If I end up feeling like I've contaminated a big bottle of pain medicine, it'll impact my ability to Drink Water if we don't have water bottles, which is something we're figuring out how to keep a steady supply of. So it can be a huge fucking struggle. If I have a smaller bottle and periodically refill it whenever I'm out of the little bottle out of my bulk stash, in the event that I've contaminated the little bottle, it will be more okay to throw away that bottle! Winning and thriving!

- Paper soaps for portability

Some bathrooms don't have soap and it's unfair and literally fucking disgusting. You can tell I'm mad about this. And sometimes I use up all my handsanitzer! It's not super often I need soap that just Isn't there when it's supposed to be, but to me that's all the more reason to keep some on my person at all times so I don't have to carry the shame of dirty, water washed hands 🤢🤢. Fml!

- Wet wipes

Inexpensive from what I understand, also portable AND multi use!

I use a cane, and wheelchair atm and am looking into getting elbow crutches as a happy medium bc my town isn't fucking accessible. That aside, I love wiping down strange and familiar surfaces alike, plus sometimes people touch my shit with it without my permission and that's just reality and sometimes even I need to touch my mobility aids with dirty, contaminated hands. 😞 Having antibacterial/soap wipes would make me feel so much safer in the world! (Antibacterial wipes alone cannot get rid of allergens on surfaces, soap and water is much more effective but Anything is better than Nothing and also I have.. ocd. Not everything I do is going to be logical.) Also!! Clean hands town, population: me (again)

[colorcodedbeanies]

S2E3- "Bit by a Dead Bee"

Vince Gilligan loves to make men walk out of a desert.

TW: Racism, misogyny, sexual harassment, police brutality, dismemberment allusions. This fucking cake also.

So Walt's tactic here is basically sound. While its definitely going to be tricky to maintain its not the strangest thing in the world for a guy with terminal cancer and a variety of other stress to have a full-blown dissociative episode. The issue is Walt cannot COMMIT for the life of him. He sure will try to leverage it as an excuse to not continue with his physical treatment, but the second anyone attempts to categorize it as a psychological issue he squirms. Even though its arguably an easier lie to maintain. He resists therapy, resists anything that would categorize him as "unsound". Because again. The image of the patriarch is far, far more important than even his own life.

Marie asking with concern "It wasn't Whole Foods, was it" is its own race analysis

He's not the only one. We're waiting an episode to get into Hank's own feelings on the firefight. For now, let's focus on the reactions of those around them. Junior expresses some childish delight in it, telling his barely recovered father "Uncle Hank wasted him" like he can't wait to say it. Skyler and Marie express a little more concern, but Marie waves it off, telling her "he's indestructible, you know that". His superiors cheer, and his office makes him a present of Tuco's grill. Not quite a body part, but it is undeniably. A hunting trophy for a human being. I also think its notable that the gift presentation is positioned alongside Cake!Hank (Cank) being cut up. Violence takes people into pieces. Even when they win.

Jesse is becoming more and more isolated from his friendgroup. Badger doesn't really have context for the source of Jesse's fear and jumpiness but he is undeniably falling outside of Jesse's experience bracket. This further encourages Jesse to depend on Walt exclusively. Like he says last season. Who else do they have to talk to about this stuff.

Once again. A fully armed squadron to ambush two people. Police paranoia of everyone and everything leading to entirely disproportionate violence

The interrogation of Jesse and Wendy is functionally a greatest hits of Hank's bigotry. He's sexist and sexual towards Wendy (AGAIN) and in such a distinct way that it triggers her memory of him. He also makes sexually charged comments towards Jesse. On top of all of that, there's just some. From the hip anti-Asian racism about a hypothetical Chinese place they may have ordered from. And it finally reaps negative consequences. Wendy, despite her fear, gets angry enough with him to clam up. His disrespect for Jesse means he can't actually start to piece together what he's lying about. And his inability to take Steve's warnings about Hector seriously mean he wastes a lot of time for a literal shitload of nothing. He runs out the clock on how long he can hold them hostage, and gets nothing but a vendetta that is going to continue to haunt his career.

Doesn't stop him from being racist to Steve later in the episode but I digress. "Your late homie"....

The therapist listing a potential circumstance where Walt could get shot by the police while disassociating is both a real valid concern and also. Pretty damning so far as American law enforcement is concerned.

Walt lists Junior's cerebral palsy as another source of his stress. Again: I don't doubt its a stressful circumstance for a parent to have a child with serious medical issues for most of his life. Through no fault of Junior's its a huge medical strain and likely was a traumatic experience for both Walt and Skyler whenever he first started showing symptoms. However, its another case of Walt positioning Junior's disability as a drain on his life, another way he's been screwed over. Its a human reaction. Its also just very autism mommy, for lack of a better term. Contrasted with Junior's stern reminders to drink his juice, it sets up something very specific about who's more of an adult about their medical circumstances.