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theinnerhalf · 1 year

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Year in Review: 2020

Year in review 2020

I struggle to find the words that can encapsulate what an anomaly the year 2020 was. “The year the world stood still”, fitting, but an understatement to the toll and shift in balance covid-19 laid out upon the world. A year so characterized by a deadly disease, death, and isolation through the form of quarantine, it’s hard to say anything good came from it. We talk of 2020 as if it were sentient, looking to bring about malice and chaos with every single turn it took. In the end, it’s just a year. For the most part, or at least to the general public, a bad one. Despite all the downsides, there were some good moments I could relish in. While it may not be all good, it still had good in it. 2020, this is for you.

January

I spent the wake of the new year at a noodle bar/winehouse in Bellaire, meeting up with someone I matched with on an app just to catch up. Initially, I had the intentions of just getting something to eat and go back home, because the superstitious side of me did not want to start the new year feeling alone, surrounded by people I don’t know too well. My intoxication said otherwise, so it was a no to making the hour drive back home. We eventually made our way to a nearby boba shop that had extra late hours as the noodle bar we were in started to close. There I was, in a mid-tier local boba shop anticipating the countdown, disappointed that I wasn’t around the people I loved…Or someone I could get a New Year’s kiss from. I looked at my friend and immediately thought, “No”.

The first highlight pictured was an overpipe installation I had done to my car, unknowingly that it would be the start of many big modifications throughout this year. After all, it was a new year’s resolution to modify my car even more. Shortly after the modification, I got a flat tire and cross-threaded my wheel studs, which eventually made up a large portion of my car maintenance and repairs. Despite Quin coming over to lend his strength (mind you that man is strong), we were left defeated at the hands of a seized rotor and wheel studs that refused to tighten all the way.

The following highlight is from a photoshoot day done with my friends Ray, Kiel, and her cousin who I had met previously at a party not too long ago prior to this shoot. Just something fun to pass time and hang out, while at the same time gaining experience for eventually doing photoshoots as a paid hobby…Just an aspiration at this point for sure, but maybe, just maybe. The last highlight is a bit of a blunder to be honest, but the picture was taken after a visit to Kinokuniya in Katy. It served as a single stone to kill two birds at once because one, I would like to see all the rage on a new Japanese store selling manga and other Japanese-related merchandise, and two, to meet this girl I matched with on hinge.

It was a little silly I thought, driving an hour to meet a girl while she’s at work. “Would I be bothering her?...I wouldn’t want her to get in trouble…aw jeez, my fit isn’t even on point.”, replayed in my head as I made my way there. I walked in scanning for her, hoping I could approach her casually with a “heyyyy–”, but as I was looking, she came out of the back with a retail powerwalk and passed right by me…There goes all my chances for a smooth greeting haha. I eventually mustered the courage and approached her as what it looked to be her rearranging/organizing a bookshelf. A shy, “heyyyy–”, escaped and we talked for maybe, the duration of five minutes…more or less.

The conversation ended solely because I didn’t want her to get into trouble, so I let her continue on with her duties. I browsed for books in hopes a cover could entice me enough to buy one just to sneak in some cash-register-conversation-time with her before I leave. A Nike book caught my eye, a fashion archive catalog well suited for the coffee table of my dreams…Turned it around and started sweating at the 25-dollar price tag. “GAHDAMN, 25 dollars just to fit in one more conversation?!”, I thought…Weighed my options, said fuck it, and went up to buy the book. I specifically waited until it was her working the register and then asked if by any chance there were any more copies of the book I wanted to buy, but in better condition because some of the pages had been dog-eared. Her expression read as annoyance and realized that it probably was a pet peeve question considering I know what it’s like to deal with customers this way. The answer was no, she scanned my book, I inserted my debit card, told myself to say something…ANYTHING! Nothing was said, receipt handed back to me, and I greeted her a good night. Nice one, Ral, nice.

I made my hour drive back home and thought that was probably the last of it. Looked through the book once and put it away because I don’t even own the coffee table of my dreams.

February

I entered February slightly forlorn, knowing I had a wedding to attend without a plus one. It being the month with Valentine’s Day with no valentine didn’t help either. “It’s ok”, the homies told me trying their best at reassurance, “Go there without a date, but leave with one”. Unlikely…but funny, I thought. The wedding took place at a beautiful venue in Austin, Texas. Cliffside, nice weather, good views, and an open bar. This was going to be a nice night regardless of date or no date. Heri ended up trying to set me up all night with one of the bridesmaids, but I was not having it haha. The wedding ceremony and reception ended beautifully, although had me wishing I had drunk just a tad bit more for whatever reason and feeling that was going through my head that night. Better to wake up sober for the hike tomorrow than hungover I guess…

The following day was spent at Westcave Preserve, a nature trail leading to a cool cave and hanging grotto, but much smaller than Hamilton Pool Reserve. We would much have preferred Hamilton Pool but missed out due to being open to reservations only. The hike was nice though, an easy 3-mile hike back and forth. The views included an eerily isolated body of water, the cave, and a water moccasin (extremely venomous snake) just chilling alongside the route of the hike, camouflaged perfectly in the woods. The hike served as a nice brief escape as we left Austin and made our way back to Houston.

Over the course of February, I eventually mustered the courage to ask out Ash for dinner with the help of her sister, Kaylee, who I’ve known of and about for much longer. Really, if it hadn’t been for her playing wingman, Ash and I would have stayed only as mutual followers to each other (Kaylee, if you’re reading this, thanks haha). Considering how awkward the last interaction was with her, I wasn’t anywhere sure of even taking this girl out to dinner…but alas, a time and place had been decided: Ohn Korean Eatery, 9 P.M., it’s a date…Or at least I was hoping it was.

Knowing myself not being the most punctual person, I took the time to leave a little bit earlier just to make sure I would make it on time. The effort did not make a difference in the end because I ran into traffic. Beltway 8 had transformed into a giant parking lot… “Wonderful”, I thought, “Late for the first date makes for an outstanding impression”. I finally arrived at Ohn, maybe around ten minutes late(?). Entered inside and was just about to greet Ash but had a friend standing right beside her, resulting in a painfully awkward exchange of greetings between Ash and my friend. We eventually got seated and I remember Ash just taking the wheel for what to order. I won’t forget the enthusiasm painted across her face describing what was good, what this specific dish had, and if we should drink or not. Over the course of the night and several drinks later, I was overcome with a feeling, as the French call it, “l’appel du vide”, or the call of the void in English. An entirely foreign feeling that somehow found itself familiarizing, creeping inside of me…Best described as the feeling of standing at the edge of the cliff while the fall beckons you, and there it was…The fall sitting across from me, growing ever more tantalizing with each minute, every passing conversation, and meeting of our eyes. Maybe there was something in the air or perhaps the soju we had been knocking back shots of all night had to do with the way I was feeling right now.

I caught myself before the descent. I remembered that I had asked my friends to keep me accountable if I ever found myself falling for anyone in the time frame I had given them. I, myself, knew I was nowhere ready to dive back into the unknown and terrifying world that is dating. This girl though, Ashley, had me wanting to disregard all the precautions I previously undertook. Like…I really don’t know what it was. She mentioned her birthday and that she prefers cheesecake with strawberries over chocolate or tiramisu cake, and without even finishing the conversation, I pulled out my phone and started browsing H-E-B’s cheesecakes for which one I was potentially going to get for her. Like, come on now…

We found ourselves still talking around the three-hour mark of our date and doing the most we could to prolong the night, like ordering up to four pitchers of soju cocktails. Ultimately, we had to stop because the two of us still had to drive ourselves home. Intoxicated in more ways than one, we sobered up, said our farewells, a hug, then left for home. “What a date…”, I thought as I drove home and decided that it was quite possibly the best first date I’ve had, EVER! I arrived home and reflected on the night a little longer, thinking that there was absolutely nothing I could have done to make it any better than it was already.

I laid in my bed, smiling.

I reached for my phone and ordered a cheesecake.

As I closed my eyes to drift into sleep, I took the fall.

March

If calm before the storm was a month, it’d be March of 2020. The start of this month was pleasant. Amazing, even. Just seven days in, it was Ash’s birthday. I found myself at work, scheduled until 9pm, closing for H-E-B’s curbside department with one other employee. It was slow as is and told me that I could just leave whenever, and so I did. I hurried and grabbed the cheesecake I reserved a week prior and made my way to Ash’s place, 45 minutes away. As I drove off, I woefully watched my one employee get slammed with several customers as they pulled in for their orders…It was no longer my problem. I arrived a little before 10 pm and thought how odd it was to pull up so late. I pondered if eating cheesecake and watching Train to Busan would be enough for a birthday, but I guess as long as it was chill, it wouldn’t and shouldn’t be a problem. It was already late and leaving after 12 am wouldn’t be a bad idea considering I had an additional hour-long drive back home and work the next day.

I pulled up and met Ash at her garage and was led into her apartment where I was formally introduced to THE, one and only, Kookee Chiweenie! Kookee was friendly and was just oozing with personality, and I was extremely honored to finally meet him after seeing him on Kaylee’s Instagram frequently. After the formalities with Ash’s dog, I handed her the cheesecake and properly greeted her happy birthday and we both decided what would be made for dinner as I did not come prepared for that…Nor was I prepared to come this late either…She told me there were some eggs and hotdogs in the fridge and I fashioned her an all-time favorite of mine, egg and hotdog omelet, just like I make at home.

We had dinner and some cheesecake and it felt reminiscent of our first date. Simply a good time and I was there for it entirely. After dinner then came to watch Yeon Sang-Ho’s, Train to Busan, which we had a prior conversation about during our first date about how good it was and that I NEED to watch it. I could see her face beaming the first time she told me about it, and despite not enjoying horror/thriller/zombie genre type movies, I happily obliged. During the movie, we had bottles of soju set out for this occasion alone and cleared around 4 bottles between the two of us. It made the movie that much more fun to watch…The combination of a gripping thriller movie, some alcohol, and sitting next to a girl I had already developed feelings for was quite an intoxicating cocktail and just a good time.

I remember looking at her on the other side of the couch and wanted to…you know, scoot a little closer. Maybe. Just maybe. Then I was like, “Bruh maybe keep the friend vibes, I don’t know anything. Plus…this is your first time at her home, don’t be weird. Don’t be a weirdo.” So at my side of the couch, I remained, still as a statue.

The movie eventually ended and I still hung around more just to hang and more importantly, sober up before my hour-long drive home. Maybe I had a little too much soju because at one point, I’m on the floor with Kookee, we were laughing and just having a good time, and frequented the bathroom once our bodies would process the soju we were downing. In my head, all I wanted for this girl was to have an enjoyable birthday and just have a good time. Nothing else. I looked at the time and saw it was already past 3:45 am…How in the world, I thought…I had sworn it was just 1:45 an hour ago. Then it hit me, it was daylight’s saving time…

I decided that it was time for me to go as I still had work the next day in the morning, and I did not want to overstay my welcome. She offered the couch just to make sure I don’t drive home exhausted but I insisted that I go while at the same thanking her for the generous offer. I wanted to though…I really did. It took every bit of my willpower to decline because I wanted to stay that much longer with Ash. I greeted her happy birthday one more time and made my way to the car. I hopped in and put on Drake’s Chicago Freestyle. I must have been smiling the entire way home, as I had removed any sort of doubt as to where my feelings lie.

Drake’s Chicago Freestyle repeated.

“2:30, meet me by the beeeean.”

…

The storm of 2020 eventually came around in the form of covid-19. Entirely unprecedented and devastating to the system and order we once had in our daily lives. I remember the conversations of how it can’t possibly arrive stateside, China has it under control, the apocalypse is nigh, etc. Then it finally happened. The pandemic exposed itself in waves with the first confirmed cases somewhere in Washington state, then the hoards of people panic buying, and then the lockdown. Watching the news became an ordeal on its own, being able to witness a monumental historical event unfold right before our lives were at times, overwhelming. The days that passed were simply defined and shaped by numbers in the form of positive cases or people that passed from it, and each harrowing day was always a bigger number than the last.

As the rest of the world remained in lockdown, being an “essential worker” prevented me from staying in. I will admit though, that being out while everyone else stayed in felt as if I entered an altered reality…A much quieter and emptier world. Peaceful, albeit unsettling. Also as expected, even the grocery store I worked at had become quieter and emptier with the pandemic. The excitement of my workdays came in the form of finding new stock that previously been gone for weeks now. Like, “Oh there’s bell peppers today…Look at that, a case of toilet paper! Aaaand, it’s gone…” I also will never forget the moment I asked the store’s grocery manager if we had instant ramen on hand. He turned to me with the most tired, dead eyes, and said “The fuck does it look like?”

My March continued to look like this daily, and the light at the end of the tunnel could not be seen from where I was standing. Because I was an “essential worker”, I stayed in the confines of my own room…alone, away from my family. I don’t exactly know how I did it for as long as I did, but I couldn’t possibly live with the thought of bringing back covid and infecting any one of them. So there I was, trapped inside that room*. I longed for the days of the past, but there is no going back from this.

*I was trapped in that room for approximately 3 months without sharing a single meal or real interaction with my family.

April

During this month, the pandemic had really gone into full swing causing lockdown and social distancing measures to be taken much more seriously, thus beginning the start of my three(?) month quarantine from my family. I was only separated from them because of how often I was out of the house because of my job. In the moment, it wasn’t a problem for me considering the drive to stay quarantined was to keep my family safe. Looking back though, I’m not entirely sure how I didn’t go insane.

Despite not being able to see each other during this time, Ash and I kept talking during this time and even sent each other letters through the mail to kind of romanticize this distance between one another. My downtime alone in that room was usually met with Facetime calls with Ash or an abundance of creative moments. As pictured, is a failed attempt at my own Chinatown market 70’s Converse and then the following, the corrected version of it.

May

May started off fairly exciting with me finally making the big purchase of coilovers for my 86, made possible with the relief checks we were getting because of covid. A big step for me personally, because I was going on my 4th year of owning the 86 with all the modifications I’ve made only being cosmetic, aside from the exhaust system. I was no longer letting the thought of voiding the warranty hold me back from creating the build I’ve always wanted. I say this yet waited to buy the rest of the suspension components needed for proper fitment and alignment which was another additional three months…

The next highlight showcasing Ash was a surprise visit I made on mother’s day. Flowers and wine for Ash’s mom, as well as a bouquet for Ash herself. Considering that the pandemic was still entirely in full swing, I intended the visit to be only a pit stop to drop off said items and go, but we ended up making it a quick hangout in Michael’s for the first time in the longest time. The hangout was great, despite the social distancing between us and the sanitizing of our hands with every little touch…but anything to keep her safe and healthy.

The following highlight was an entire day dedicated to filming a video I had been wanting to shoot for the longest time with Andrew. The video was a testament to the journey of how far my mental health has come along, in regards to what I consider one of the most disturbing and traumatic experiences I’ve had to face. What transpired left me broken. My mentality thrown into a twisted and contorted fit of rage. I lost myself as I spiraled...falling into fragments, parts of who I once was, I could never get back, replaced with a version of me that existed in a constant state of disarray, mistrust, and anger. Every waking moment was contested with a perpetual state of frustration, my mind…a broken record, reliving the events of a self-fulfilling nightmare, wondering where I went wrong, or what I could have done to change it…Only to be met with the merciless manifestation of one of my biggest fears becoming a reality.

I led Andrew to a specific beach in a town called Surfside, somewhere a little off of Galveston, to shoot and film our video for two main reasons. The beach vibe was the one I was really going for, and two, Andrew and I could safely light something on fire without anything being too suspicious or dangerous. Eternally grateful for Andrew to be so compliant with the vision I had, because it definitely wasn't as simple as I wished it'd been. Examples being, having to break a skateboard in half, which proved to be much harder than social media makes it out to be. Secondly, having to direct Andrew on how I wanted the video composition was work in itself but he proved himself to be better than I anticipated. Lastly, starting and maintaining the fire for the video ended up being the most challenging part. The two of us spent a good amount of time digging a decent-sized pit, juggling back and forth between using our hands or the skateboard we split in half as a shovel, determining which method was the most efficient.

Maintaining the fire ended up being another challenge in itself because of how windy it was during the night, but with enough lighter fluid and willpower, we managed a fire enough to burn the skateboard and if I do recollect correctly, some old pictures. A moment of silence dawned on us...A combination of being lost in the reverie and accomplishment of lighting the flame, and the serenity of knowing what happened rests in the past. The ember danced in accordance of the wind, swaying in unison while at the same, remaining at its mercy. The two of us, basking in the fire's glow, would occasionally throw in more lighter fluid just to keep the moment going until we were fully out. When the time came to leave, I watched the fire dissipate, leaving behind the ashes and the remains of a burnt, broken, skateboard to go up in smoke...And for a brief moment, after the fire extinguished, I stood there in the stillness of darkness, blanketed under an array of stars, and felt the peace. "Finally..."

Towards the end of the month, I did my best to muster as much courage as I could to do an extremely daunting ordeal: ask Ash to be my girlfriend. I don’t know why it was daunting in the first place…Maybe it was that she was entirely too good for me, or at least that’s how it feels to me, because Ash is great…She’s wonderful, she’s stunning, and she’s more than I could ever ask for in a person. Whatever it is I feel with her, it’s real. It consumes me whole and I can’t imagine moving forward without her at this point in my life.

Writing this, I am debating on disclosing how I asked her to be my girlfriend or not just because of how bad the execution was. Maybe not necessarily bad, but it definitely wasn’t as smooth as I would have wanted it to be…Just know, that if you know me as a person and how awkward I can be, you can probably imagine it by now.

I say my line to her…silence…

The silence is deafening…

I’m screaming internally and parts of me inside wither away from my own embarrassment. I then have to explain what exactly it was I was saying, and then we laugh at the moment and acknowledge just how awkward I am.

She says yes. May 21, 2020.

June

June opened itself with the consequences of the unjust killing of George Floyd, who passed away on May 25, 2020, at the age of 46. The wave of the aftermath was felt throughout the country, followed by an uproar and a call to protest the defunding and reformation of the police and justice system. This was new...This was different. George Floyd's cries, "I can't breath", reverberated across the nation. It felt as if this was finally the straw that broke the camel's back, name after name, Trayvon Martin, Elijah McClain, Tamir Rice, Breonna Taylor, Sandra Bland, it just goes on...and now, George Floyd.

Floyd's passing garnered the attention of all corners of social media, and with it, followed the rallying of protests throughout the United States, in the name of all those who died unjustly at the hands of police brutality and racism. City after city, the scheduled protests finally made their way to Houston. Devin hit me up asking if I wanted to go. He told me it was a chance to finally make our voices heard, and as someone who's only a permanent resident that cannot participate in voting, this was something I wanted to do to possibly make a change in the country's political climate. But...there were things to consider. One, we were still in the middle of a raging pandemic and the thought of attending a protest without social distancing made me uncomfortable. Two. I wasn't confident in my capabilities on the off chance that there may be a stampede, tear gas, or rubber bullets. I also couldn't imagine the thought of being arrested as there were multiple instances of arrests being made across the country for just attending these protests.

Devin eventually reassured me that we would be okay as we would certainly avoid the hottest part of the crowds and know when to call it quits for our safety and well-being. As for not catching Covid, Devin snatched the medical-grade, airtight, N95 masks from his mom's personal supply that she has from being a nurse. With all the right precautions and reassurances in place, I was set to go. Donn also decided to accompany us as well and made it all that much more comforting.

The three of us arrived a walking distance away from downtown Houston, on the off chance we needed to get away and the entire place gets too crowded to drive off. There was definitely something in the air, a tenseness...a sense of uneasiness. Cowboys on horses rode past us and it felt as if something was already going down. Arriving at Discovery Green and the George R. Brown convention center, we found the crowd there. Protestors and police alike, it was something to behold. People chanting, "I can't breathe", and, "Fuck the police!", echoed the area. It had a surreal feeling, realizing that I'm currently living and participating in a moment that would go down in history. The heavy police presence offered not a sense of security but something to be entirely weary of.

Devin, Donn, and I scooted into a crowd facing a corner that looked as if something important was being said or going down. We stood there, confused and unaware of what was really happening until someone from the front of the crowd yelled and the crowd started rushing in our direction. Unable to fully process the situation at hand, all we had time for was to run. We sprinted as far as we could while maintaining an awareness of the situation to know when and if we could stop running. It turns out, it was just a false alarm. At least that's what we understood, but the rumors spreading were all a different story. "They were gonna use rubber bullets!", "They were gonna use tear gas!", etc. Something and each of the like.

The remainder of our time at the protest was spent just joining crowds as well as one group chant. We ended up running for our lives a total of three times and there was even a guy who climbed the metro rail system which became a highlight of the protest for me. Even though it felt as if I didn't really do anything during the protest, I think it was important that I was even just a body attending and showing up for what was right. Devin, Donn, and I eventually made our way back to Devin's car after the police started mobilizing for some reason and it was only then that we decided that it was finally time to dip. I, once again, am grateful for Devin even considering asking me to partake in the protest and I can only hope this country moves forward in the right direction from here on out.

The following highlight in this month was a couple of days I spent together with Ash and her sister, Kaylee. Kaylee flown in from New York to spend a good time here while on summer break from college. This was also going to be the very first time meeting despite having known her for a few years now. It was exciting, to say the least, to finally meet her after all this time.

We spent the time at their dad’s apartment and had a chill time over there as this was Kaylee’s chance to re-experience suburbia and slower living. The three of us went to H-mart to get supplies for the night’s dinner, drove around to witness car-dependent infrastructure, and arrived back to just spend time together.

We started making dinner fairly early, with Kaylee in charge of the soba noodles, Ash with the siu mai, and I, with katsu. Things went smoothly for the most part until something happened with Kaylee’s soba. She cooked it for too long and came out of the pot with the consistency of apple sauce when it landed onto the colander to strain…Fortunately for us, we bought extra soba noodles and began to prepare them. When everything was finished, we set everything out on the floor like a picnic because of Ash’s dad’s apartment being set up entirely like a bachelor pad…no table, no chairs, and its place, a pull-up bar, and some nunchucks. I didn’t mind eating on the floor for sure though. It definitely was a vibe in itself and in a way felt a little more intimate doing so.

There was something in the air that night…I can’t quite put it together but maybe it was the drastic change of pace from being at the protest I was at not too long ago. This was peaceful and it was just…nice. I don’t know…Ash, Kaylee, and I spent closing the night at their dad’s place by the apartment complex’s pool. It was peaceful…The feeling of being with someone I care about deeply, the warmth of a summer evening, and the smell of chlorine from the pool. An altered state of reality was what it was. Being so at peace during a worldwide crisis of a pandemic and the midst of a nation under political turmoil. I basked in the moment and breathed it in wholly and entirely. I was sitting with Ash and held her slightly tighter…

Lastly, for the month of June, I finally installed the coilovers and lowered my car. After a month of waiting, I mustered the amount of money to fully get the suspension parts needed to properly and safely lower my car. Who would’ve thought I needed to drop about another grand just to make sure camber, alignment, and toe would be that important when just dropping my car down two inches…I certainly didn’t. When installing, I had guidance and help from my own personal 86 mechanic, Jason Lam. He walked me through proper installation, maintenance, and even tips and tricks to make living with a lowered much easier.

I was asked how much lower I wanted it, and I answered him with a measly inch and a half. Better safe than sorry, I thought…These Houston roads aren’t exactly the most low car friendly. He looked at me skeptically and told me that everyone starts off by saying that and eventually joins the dark side and lowers their car as much as their coilovers allow them to. I thought about it and ultimately decided that I’ll be sticking with just the inch-and-a-half drop…for now.

The installation took about a good 2 hours with little to no problems, and just like that, I was one step closer to the final build of my dreams. I thanked Jason for always being there for the help and drove off excitedly. And what do you know, Jason was right. I ended up spending the rest of this month readjusting the height of my car several times until I settled on having it on the lowest setting of the coilovers…

July

My Julys tend to be quiet for the most part despite it being the peak of Summer time. With the pandemic going on, it didn’t really help either. For the first half of July, it was spent just having quality time with Ash and Kaylee. I ran a lot this month while Ash had been biking. I also recall having Korean BBQ fried chicken for the first time and mannn was it GOOD. There was also a day where Ash just surprised me at work when she showed up for my lunch with BBQ chicken and a Godzilla tee I had been wanting from her workplace for a long time now. I remember shedding a tear that moment because this was a first for me…It was just nice, you know? The thirty minutes I had for lunch passed by sooner than I would have hoped and it was off to work again…

Lastly for this month, my family and I went to Gorman Falls state park out somewhere near Austin. I remember it being sweltering hot this day…and I still found some way to wear jeans for the sake of the outfit…This particular hike was an in-and-out type trail, 3 miles in total, with a slight elevation change towards the far end where the waterfall is located.

A clear-cut path laid out for us with stunning views of Texas hill country shrubbery made for an easy hike for the most part. When we approached the waterfall, the elevation difference was a sharp decline set upon the slippiest slope with just one single rope to latch onto…Here, I worried about the safety of everyone but we all managed to get down just fine, slowly but surely. At the bottom of the slope, we were met with the waterfall of Gorman Falls Park. To be entirely honest, it isn’t the most impressive waterfall you could see but it was certainly a view to behold. The area was lush and was alongside a large river as well.

The time was already slightly past 8:30 PM and the sun was due to set soon…We still had about a 45-minute trek back to the starting point of the hike and we had no form of lighting aside from our phones which were on the verge of dying. We hurried back up the slippery slope and underestimated just how much harder it would be to go up safely. My family and I speedran the rest of the hike, but with the darkness looming over us, the surrounding scenery had transformed from a beautiful Texas scape into a haunting exodus…If you turned around, the darkness was right behind you, you face forward and you could feel it breathing down your neck. We walked even faster and made it out at 9:20 PM. We drove away and made sure to not look back after…

August

August came by with nothing really happening for the larger part of the month as everything I was looking forward to was to happen right at the very end: a trip out to New Mexico for Yentl’s birthday. For the few days spent there, we would spend them in a desert AirBnB on top of a hill, go to White Sands National Monument, and then on the way back home, Carlsbad Caverns National Park. A beefy itinerary for sure, but exciting nonetheless.

Ash and I packed my Toyota 86 with everything essential for the trip including a multi-person sled used once during a snowy winter spent in New Mexico as well. Semi-caffeinated, we braced ourselves and made the 12-hour drive to Las Cruces, New Mexico. Our first stop was at a Buc-ee’s not too far from Ash’s place to make sure we would have enough gas until the next one and stop at every Buc-ees until there are no more on the way. We eventually made it to the second Buc-ees where I filled up and decided that the secret to staying up was to do jumping jacks to keep the blood flowing and thus started the ritual of doing jumping jacks at every stop. The last Buc-ees we arrived at was located just a little past San Antonio. I searched up to see if there were any more after this one and found no more on the way. It was after finding out that the journey suddenly felt like it was really starting and the sense of familiarity was no longer with us. This was made fully apparent when we arrived at a rest stop with just big rig trucks around. The Texas Constitutional carry law had not yet gone into effect yet, but it was the very first time I kept my gun on my person in public. We used the restroom as quickly as possible and got the hell out of there.

The rest of the drive wasn’t too bad. Aside from feeling sleepy for sleep’s sake, the drive was quite engaging. A fun car to drive, imposing cliffs, winding roads, and the occasional sighting of a wild animal did more than plenty for me to knock out 8-9 hours of that 12-hour drive. When we finally arrived in New Mexico, we were greeted by a change of elevation that made itself clear with much more labored breathing for Ash and I and for my car as well. The 86 was struggling to get to speed and climbing up over simple hills and I hoped this would not be a persisting problem this entire trip, but really stepping on the gas seemed to resolve the issue.

We finally arrived at the Airbnb around 8 AM. A charming modern home designed with a definitive New Mexico flair, situated upon a daunting hill towering over the rest of the homes in the neighborhood. After a labored climb up the hill in the 86, we found that nobody was at the Airbnb because those who already arrived made a quick run to Walmart for some last-minute supplies, so there Ash and I were…waiting. We decided to just look around and found our way to the backyard of the Airbnb, a picturesque communal space with a fireplace, cacti ripe with prickly pear, a swing, and an overlook of Las Cruces. I stood there in awe taking everything in. Even the air was different here…it was crisp, cool, and had depth. It was deeply enriching. It felt like a proper August breeze, nothing like the humid, swampy air Houston has. For once, I felt like I was really away from all the stress bothering me lately and I for once could relax.

The rest of the party finally arrived and as Ash took the time to get acquainted with everyone, it was my time to get the rest I deserve for driving as long as I did. I don’t exactly remember how long I was knocked out but a decent amount of time had passed where it was time to get ready to leave for White Sands National Monument. On the way there, there was a mandatory immigration checkpoint and I started sweating…I realized that of all the stuff I needed to bring, I had forgotten to pack my proof of residency. A momentous bruh moment for the trip, and the first one at that. The immigration officer asked Ash and I the question, “Are both of y’all citizens?”, and I replied, “She is, but not me.” He then asked for proof of residency and I told him I had forgotten my green card at home. The officer then, with a disgruntled look on his face and a stern tone in his voice, told me to pull over to the side. He walked up to my window after I pulled over and asked to see my state ID and disappeared for a good 10 minutes. The officer returned to my window and frustratedly told me to keep my green card on me at all times especially when I’m traveling. He also proceeded to tell me that this is also a finable offense of up to $500 and then said I’m good to go. The entire exchange in the span of 15 minutes left me a little shaken up but also relieved that nothing happened from it. This moment was definitely a lesson to be learned from and it’s safe to say that I’m learning from it. I drove off from the immigration stop and caught up with the rest of the party waiting at the entrance of White Sands, both confused and concerned about what happened.

The group bought a sled of their own right before the gift shop closed and it was now time to surf some dunes. We then made our way inside the park, parked our cars, and waxed the sleds to ensure that we would be able to slide down the dunes. Climbing the first dune proved itself to be a challenge because the sand was unbelievably soft and my poor choice of footwear did not do anything to help. After making it to the top surface of the sand, the view left me speechless… An otherworldly view of a large expanse of white sand that seemed to stretch on for miles. I had nearly forgotten about the sled I was holding in my hand while taking everything in and snapped out of the daze to experience the thrill of sliding down a sand dune. The descent was more than a 10-foot drop with about a 45° slope downwards. The excitement overtook the caution in my head and I just went for it. I jumped on the sled standing upright expecting speed, only to be met with the disappointment of not moving at all. I had not waxed the sled well enough…

The rest of our time at White Sands was spent just conversing, taking pictures, and just simply being in the moment. I thanked Yentl again for even the thought of inviting Ash and I out here to experience her birthday this way. The sun eventually started to set over the horizon of scattered mountains, and it was now time to leave. I couldn’t begin to fathom that I enjoyed being on sand THAT much, but then again, it was really something else.

After leaving the sand dunes, it was now time for the party. Ash and I were the first to arrive back at the Airbnb as the others went off to buy more food and alcohol. When everyone returned, the party finally started and started off strong with “never have I ever” but the first people to fully put down all their fingers chugs a full cup of alcohol. After that, it was just hanging around and beer pong. While this was Ash’s first time ever playing beer pong, it really didn’t seem like it and solidified that beginner’s luck is truly a phenomenon to be considered. She brought her and me into an undefeated winning streak the entire night, with the ending score being 4-0.

The party eventually transitioned into a much more calm and chill setting with everyone deciding to hop into the Airbnb’s hot tub or play smash bros. If you knew me, you knew which one I picked and I came ready because I brought my own controller from home for this very moment. Smash bros unfortunately only lasted for a short while because everyone had their fair share of losing against me so it was now time for everyone else to hop into the hot tub. Being in the hot tub was quite nice, I’ll admit. While it was relaxing being in the hot water while surrounded by the clean, crisp air, my only gripe was that the sky was not clear. An unobstructed view of a starry night sky would have been the perfect way to end this night…

One by one, everyone made their way out of the hot tub and did their nightly routines. Before the night was set to end, everyone sat around a fire for smores and the vibes. We somberly sat around for a good minute before we all made our way to bed.

The next day, we awoke to the smell of breakfast cooking and found Yentl at the helm of the kitchen preparing a large amount of eggs and bacon for everyone. Francis, her cousin, wanted pancakes so pancakes were made as well. He on the other hand decided he wanted to make his own concoction for breakfast: a hot Cheeto dust-infused pancake with what was left of an empty Cheeto chip bag. His personal creation, or abomination as a better term, a buttermilk pancake mixed in with crushed hot Cheeto crumbs and Cheeto dust, topped off with even more hot Cheeto dust. A Michelin star-worthy presentation of a perversion of human cuisine, laid upon a styrofoam plate like a placenta, adorned with a wreath of red dust. Everyone looked upon in horror and yet Francis demanded everyone take a bite out of it. Unwillingly, everyone did. It definitely did not taste as bad as the thought of it as well as the sight of it. But that was it for breakfast.

It was now time for me to decide if Ash and I would depart New Mexico in the next hour for me to make it in time for my work shift for the next day. It was eating away at me profoundly because I just wasn’t someone who called into work and especially if it required me to lie about it too. Everyone there told me “Just do it.”, “One occurrence won’t hurt.”, “Boooooo.”, and I gave into the pressure after weighing out the options. Because if I did leave right now, I would show up to my shift EXHAUSTED and absolutely just performing poorly. I also was not one who wanted to experience FOMO, especially on an occasion like this with Carlsbad Caverns National Park up next on the trip itinerary. Because I simply did not want to look like I was going to deliberately call off for my shift, I drove away from the Airbnb and onto an unpaved road to set up the scenery for the photo I would send to the work group chat. I then lifted the 86 with the scissor jack that comes with the car and took out the rear passenger-side tire and took my photo. A work of art if I’m being honest, and the photo was received well by my managers and let me off the hook without an occurrence in the end. After returning my car to its original shape, I drove back to the Airbnb and ecstatically announced that Ash and I would indeed be joining the journey to Carlsbad Caverns.

It wasn’t long after cleaning, vacating, and saying our farewells to the Airbnb and everyone else who wouldn't be joining us to the caves, that I discovered I hadn’t properly put my tire back on…I know, shame on me right? After departing and driving for about 30 minutes in, that’s when I noticed the tire I had taken off and put back on was a little wobbly and that was more than enough for me to let Yentl know that I needed to stop by an Autozone and drop 45 dollars on another torque wrench, even though I already have one at home. I was in pure disbelief…A waste of 45 dollars just because I couldn’t properly torque down my lug nuts but our safety was not something I wanted to risk especially since we had a 12-hour drive back home. I torqued my lug nuts to the required spec of 65 lb-feet of torque and continued the drive to Carlsbad Caverns with a newfound peace of mind.

The drive to Carlsbad Caverns was incredibly enjoyable and goes down as one of my favorite drives to this day. We passed through small towns filled with character, a long stretch of road between picturesque hills and fields, with a looming mountain range in the far off distance that eventually revealed itself to us realizing it was Guadalupe Mountain National Park. Everything seemed right there and then, and for the second time on this trip, I was given a beautiful open road, music blasting on the system, road trip snacks and the person I love next to me. Moments like these remain fleeting in time, as all good things do. Because towards the arrival of Carlsbad Caverns, we arrived at another immigration checkpoint…just to be pulled over and told the same things we did the first time at White Sands National Park, just this time around, the officer was slightly more chill.

We pulled into the entrance of the park, about a 30-minute drive filled with picturesque vistas complimented by a road adorned with hairpin turn corners. Truly, a sensational experience. Ash and I took note that we should stop by the scenic outlooks on the way back home when and if we had the chance. We got to the visitor center, bought our tickets, and traversed to the mouth of the cave. The entrance was a massive gaping hole, sitting hundreds of feet below from where we initially were, and the pathway, a sidewinding paved sidewalk that led us down.

Passing through the threshold of the underground, I was immersed and completely awestruck. What makes a cave a cave, is that when inside one, there should be an area where no outside light touches the inside. And the further we walked in, the more the light diminished, fading into rays until the outside view was now merely an oversaturated window of light. We led ourselves down a tunnel and have now been entirely submerged in the Earth.

Carlsbad itself was an entirely different world on its own. Even fathoming that something like this exists proved overwhelming in the sense of how beautiful the world really is. The cavern was like a museum, stone and mineral structures decorated the tunnels, and bat guano sprinkled sparsely here and there for proof of life in such an unconventional ecosystem. Plaques with names and descriptions had been placed near more characteristic structures, with more notable features like a stalagmite that had the likeness of a blue whale and oddly enough, one that resembled a middle finger.

The descent took us through many tunnels and occasional squeezes, and every time I thought that the cavern couldn’t get any better…it got better. We eventually arrived at one of the main features of the National Park, aptly named the “Big Room”. While I was eager to keep exploring, Yentl and her siblings brought to our attention that we still had such a long drive home and that it would probably be best to leave as early as we could. Understandably so, we left with about another hour or two left of the cavern to explore…until next time I guess.

We took an elevator up back to the visitor center and didn’t even realize that we were 600(?) floors down from ground level. We took some final photos together, said our goodbyes, and left for home. As Ash and I were leaving the National Park area, we remembered that we would stop by the scenic lookouts to take some more photos and savor the last few moments we had on this trip. After the photos, we then left and I endured the entire 12-hour drive back home without ever switching and broke the previous record I held for myself.

Ash and I arrived back in Houston around 1 AM, fulfilled and reflected on just how much of a good time that was, thankful that Yentl invited us for the entire experience.

September

September had undeniably felt much slower and uneventful coming down from all the fun I had last month in New Mexico. Although I did come back with a nice new coffee mug to remind myself of the good time I had. The first highlight of this month came in the form of Quin’s birthday which we celebrated in Bellaire. Quin’s cousin, Brian volunteered to host the very small birthday party between just Andrew, me, and the birthday boy himself, at his place. There, we didn’t do much aside from playing a couple of games of beer pong and drink but still had a nice chill time.

The main highlight of Quin’s birthday party hadn’t happened until after leaving Brian’s place. The three of us parked outside of Cafe 101 in Bellaire and just spent hours in the parking lot just talking. I couldn’t remember the last time the three of us talked the way we did that night…Felt like an overdue true bonding and catch-up session that we so desperately needed as friends. The catch-up was so good that we lost track of time and found ourselves still at the parking lot at 5 AM. It was just a really good time…

The only other highlight of this month was in the form of a video shoot that I had Heri and Donn participate in. It was some sort of contest on Instagram for a chance to win 1 of 5 GoPro cameras in this giveaway and I thought I would just try my hand at it. The shoot went well but it honestly served as practice for my editing and filming processes. When it came to finding out the results, I had not placed for a single GoPro as I expected…Maybe down the line, I thought I’d be better but definitely not now.

October

My favorite month as well as my birthday month. I didn’t really have anything special planned out for my birthday due to the ongoing pandemic unfortunately…but, I did have something else in mind. It was now time to finally treat myself to something I had my eyes set on for a long, long time…A set of Enkei RPF1 wheels with the specs of 17x9 with an offset of +35 in a shiny gold colorway. This…I had been dreaming of this moment for so long since the day I had gotten my 86.

I remember being at work and getting the notification that my wheels were now out for delivery and panic texted my family group chat to make sure someone would be home to accept the package from the delivery driver. With just my luck, nobody was going to be home within the specific time frame. As soon as I got off work, I hurried home to make sure the wheels had been given safe passage to my place or at least left at the front office of my apartment complex because I had gotten the notification that they were indeed delivered…But more important to me was how were they delivered.

I approached my front door and didn’t see any big boxes placed on the welcome mat. I checked my phone to see the tracking number again for the status of the delivery to make sure I wasn’t tripping. I looked over at the high fence covering the sorry excuse of a patio this apartment complex has and was telling myself that there was NO WAY the delivery driver just threw my wheels over the fence and onto concrete…Went inside my apartment and peered out the patio window. I stood there…baffled at the sheer audacity of whoever it was that fulfilled this delivery…The feeling was fleeting as the excitement of getting my wheels overcame the astonishment and disbelief of the delivery method.

I pulled the wheels out and opened them excitedly. Four years…Four years of waiting and trying my best not to void any warranty on my car has led me to this moment. I finally had wheels and my car was now at a decent-looking build. I went to a tire shop the next day to get these bad boys on and as soon as I did, I pulled up to a couple of my friends’ houses just to show them. An accomplishment in itself that was a long time coming…

The following highlight for this month came unexpectedly one day when my dad asked me if I wanted to accompany him to look at some model homes. I said sure, and my dad had led me to Humble, Texas where a developing neighborhood was in the process of building more homes and I remembered that I actually had been here before with him back when there was only a single street with no more than 20 houses. Come now, and the subdivision had looked like an actual neighborhood. We eventually meet someone to show us around and which floor plans are available for the homes here.

The first home that we were presented with was…quaint. It wasn’t bad but the turn-offs were the extremely low ceiling and a backdoor that was just inches away from hitting the wall across it when fully open. Everything was nicer than the apartments my family and I were staying at though but I was sure there would be a better floor plan. We were then shown the next one in terms of quality and price, and this house was indeed a step up from the last one. A much more open floor plan with a higher ceiling, standing at 12 feet rather than a measly 8-9, and just was overall a much more cohesive and thoughtfully designed floor plan. It was nice.

After the tour of the two floor plans, my dad and I went back with the agent tour guy person and talked about the price of these homes. That’s all I thought this was to be honest, just inquiring about the price and then start saving up hardcore down the line to then buy the house or just keep looking for more options, preferably somewhere at a better location. It wasn’t even that long into talking about the price of the house until my dad agreed on a down payment price of the house and signed some papers…Shocked to say the least but we were now set to having a house, after over a decade of losing our first house. It was such a long time coming.

The last highlight for this month was putting a lock on this specific bridge in downtown Houston where couples go to “lock in” their love for each other. This was something I had been wanting to do with Ash for a while just because of how symbolic it would be for us. The two of us picked out a lock that looked sturdy enough to withstand the elements and made our way to Buffalo Bayou park. Once there, we found the bridge, entirely covered with other people’s locks. So many that the fence holding the locks had started to buckle in some areas. After observing for a while, Ash and I finally found where we wanted to place our lock. It was strategically placed so that if we ever came back to this bridge, we would at least know where we put it. After locking it, we took a casual stroll around Buffalo Bayou to end the night.

November

There wasn’t exactly much to this month asides from Thanksgiving and a photoshoot I thought was an enjoyable time with Ash. In regards to the photoshoot, it was just to test out a different 35mm film stock and for the fun of it. This photoshoot took place at the running/walking trail where Travis and I do the grueling 3-mile run at. After this, we went to a tennis court located at The Woodlands for a different take on the vibe for the photoshoot.

For Thanksgiving, it was quite the big deal as it would be my first time meeting Ash’s extended family. It was a nice experience overall and the food was amazing. My only regret that night was that I shouldn’t have eaten so much then and there because the food coma that ensued afterward hit me like a freight train. I took one sit on the couch and it was lights out…I could not manage the strength to stay awake whatsoever and only awoke when it was time for Ash and I to leave for my family’s Thanksgiving dinner. It was safe to say that I didn’t leave much of an impression on her family that night and she was pretty disappointed, but man, the tryptophans hit HARD…

Lastly, the final highlight for November was getting a new phone. Not much other than being able to look forward to its future uses with a much more streamlined and powerful tool for my future artistic endeavors.

December

It is now December…The final month of this oddly cursed year. We started the end of the year with a new chapter of our lives, which involved the beginning of the move to the new house. My family and I were ecstatic to finally get out of this forsaken apartment complex that we occupied for the better half of my time growing up. To put into perspective the gravity of the situation that moving into a house meant to us…meant to ME, was that I finally get a room. A room I can call my own and a dedicated space for privacy.

I didn’t own a single piece of furniture that was solely mine. The only belongings I had to myself were my clothes, the little knick-knacks, and my car. I was moving into this house with an entirely blank slate, and I couldn’t be any more excited.

This move was everything to us. This move meant more space as we had the equivalent of what could fit in a two-story home jam-packed into this tiny apartment because we had brought everything from the foreclosure to here. We would have the peace of mind that we would no longer wake up and find a sewage leak flooding majority of the first floor 2-3 times a year…Thus resulting in repair people changing the carpet and the hassle of taking our heavy-ass furniture entirely outside just for the process. The flood would then damage the legs of the wooden furniture and result in impending rot. There would also be no need to not have to wait on someone to finish showering just to use other water applications in the apartment because whoever was showering would suddenly experience an ice-cold blast for however long the other person was using water as well. I also wouldn’t miss the 85 degrees Fahrenheit interior our apartment would have during the summer because the air conditioning system was not to be trusted at this complex. The hole in the window in one of the bedrooms that we had patched up with denim (for some fucking reason, I don’t know) that prevented any sort of temperature regulation during peak summer/winter seasons. The list does not stop…

Since the purchase of the house back in October, we spent small portions of our free time getting ready, packing here and there, and donating or throwing away unneeded items. We would also occasionally drive out to the address of the house just to see if it had been fully built yet so that we could just envision what life would be like and even better, get the keys and actually start dropping things off. It had now only finished being built in early December, meaning it was now time to get serious. Our definition of being serious about the move was a poor attempt at a mass exodus of our items to the new house…We were met constantly with roadblocks that consisted of a lack of free time, schedule conflicts, stopping to reminisce on the old items that we had that held so much sentimental value and just the sheer amount of things we had to get rid of. Having three small cars, two corollas, and an 86, did not help with the move either. This was a slowly but surely situation and fully moving out before our apartment lease ends in April seemed like such a daunting task.

In the midst of all the good things that have begun to unfold in this month, I suffered a devastating loss on the 12th of December. It happened as I was driving to work on that fateful morning. The commute was fine, great even…until it came down to the exit I had to get off of. My speed coming off the exit ramp was a comfortable 70 miles per hour, the posted speed limit of that Grand Parkway in that specific section. The combination of my brakes fading with subpar tires/tire temperature made slowing down a challenge and the next thing I know, I’m faced with a left-hand turn on the outside corner of a green light. My efforts to downshift to second gear to engine brake were futile, as it hadn’t slowed the car down as it usually does for some reason, and I attempted the corner anywhere between 40-45 miles per hour…

My tires screech. My mind fades to black as a multitude of thoughts flood my mind, while simultaneously, my body endures the g-force exerted with that turn. I snap back into reality and find myself situated on the concrete island. My car’s dash is lit up like a Christmas tree with symbols entirely unfamiliar to me. I step on the accelerator and the car revs while having not moved…I look down and the collision with the curb popped the car into neutral somehow. I shift back into drive and my car crawls off the island sheepishly. I’m incredibly embarrassed at this point…Onlookers sitting in their cars at the stoplights stare intensely, and I feel every gaze on my skin. My car limps its way to my workplace parking lot, a staggering 5 mph, but I make it with just 6 minutes to spare before I’m late.

I step out of my car to inspect the damage and I keep myself composed as I am to work in just a few moments…I walk into work, unbeknownst to me that this would be the final drive I experience with the car.

In a much more light-hearted turn of events, Ash’s dad’s wedding rolls around sometime in the middle of the month. Kaylee and her boyfriend Ian came down to Houston from New York for the occasion as well as just to be here in time for the holidays. We show up for the wedding relatively early at Ash’s dad’s newly bought house and he gives us a tour before guests start pouring in. The house was quite the building…two stories, three car garage, a kitchen island, high ceilings, and a backyard more than adequate for dogs to run around in. As the night turned, it was time for the wedding procession to take place. It was held right outside in the front yard, with a small enough attendance to make it work just right.

The ceremony was fairly quick to the point, and afterward, it was just dinner and the reception. The four of us, Kaylee, Ian, Ash, and I did feel like we didn’t really belong there, as we were just kinda…there. So after dinner and the first dance, we made the decision to leave. We said our farewells and thanked Ash’s dad for inviting us out for the occasion. The four of us then went to Soju 101, a Korean restaurant/bar/karaoke lounge to just be away. It was a good time, just the four of us, drinking and processing the night. I just remember smiling the entire time I was there and I hope the others enjoyed it just as much as I had. Maybe it was the soju flowing through me, but I was filled with so much love for the people with me that night…even Ian who I had just met earlier that week. It was nice. I think I’ll remember this night for a very long time…

Continuing on with this month, this December is probably the most eventful December I may have had by far…I spent a couple of nights doing festive holiday things with Kaylee, Ian, and Ash. We organized a gingerbread house-making “contest” and was an interesting time. Ian and Ashley’s/Kaylee’s mom followed the traditional method of designing their gingerbread homes…Classic, icing shingles, and a gumdrop front yard. Ash designed hers classically at first but eventually deviated by adding her own spin to it by decorating the back wall of the house with an icing drawing of Santa. Super creative and executed far better than most could ever…Extremely impressive to be honest. Kaylee’s now…a gingerbread house turned into a setting of a grisly Christmas decorating accident. She formed an icing man who had fallen off the roof of the house, impaled by a star, Red icing adorned not only the roof but the yard and walls of the house as well…An icing bloodbath if you will. This was surely different and I admired the creativity haha. Now as for my gingerbread house, it was less of a house than it was a penthouse. I wanted to break the mold entirely of what it meant to live in these cookie walls…I turned the walls long side up and even broke pieces off to change shapes. We had even set a time limit for creating our gingerbread homes (30 min?) and the timer began to run out of time. The complexity of my design didn’t allow much for decorating but I made do with some icing and even affixed a candy car right on the outside.

The timer rang, and it was all hands off. Good jobs, effort, and creativity from everyone and it was now time to get a decision. I ran the poll on my story but because of such a small sample and voting size, results were inconclusive…We are all winners. We then ended the night with Ash’s favorite holiday movie, The Grinch, the live-action version starring Jim Carrey to be specific. It was my first time ever thoroughly watching and finishing this movie and enjoyed it. Ash and Kaylee’s commentary also made it that much more enjoyable with remarks as to how the Grinch actually embodies Ash’s vibe and energy.

Christmas quickly rolls around and I spend the first half of my Christmas with Ash’s family at one of her uncles’ house. It was nice to have dinner and be around her family again, and unlike Thanksgiving, I made sure not to eat as much to avoid entering another food coma. After Ash’s family’s Christmas get-together, it was now time to celebrate with my family. I arrive home with Ash and walk in to find the newest addition to my family…Walnut. My family always wanted a dog but living in these apartments were the only thing keeping us from getting one, and now that we’ll be living in a house, it was finally time.

Everyone had their attention on Walnut…This 3-month-old puppy. I, on the other hand, was unsure of what to think of him…I listen to their “ooohs…ahhhhs”, but all I could think of was the burden of how much pee, poop, and training we would have to withstand during this phase of Walnut’s life. I was collectively asked what I thought of him, and I answered,

“He’s cute...”

“Do you live hiiiiiim?”

“What? No, I just met him…”

Imagine the uproar I was met with for answering that. I was immediately called mean and hit with the analogy of having a child and not loving my child right after birth…Come on now. I looked at Walnut and saw a rambunctious puppy, no food motivation and he had just dropped a fresh one right on the carpet. This was our life now I guess…Welcome to the family, Walnut.

________________________________________________________________

That concludes my year in review for 2020. Looking back on this year, it’s effortless to remember the hardships and challenges brought on by the pandemic…But amidst the social distancing, isolation, political turmoil, and an alarming amount of change to the way we live our lives, I found myself experiencing a new best in personal growth and healing. What a stark contrast to what 2020 embodies but I’m grateful regardless. I look to 2021 with hopefulness, and my eyes on the gleaming light at the end of this tunnel…

Sincerely with love,

Ral

#year in review #2020 #3 years late

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12nb34 · 1 year

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Part of Guangzhou, the capital of southern China’s Guangdong province, made headlines around the world in mid-November when violent clashes erupted between angry migrant workers and police in hazmat suits.

Rare scenes of civil unrest in mainland China were repeated later that month when more protests against prolonged epidemic-control lockdowns broke out in cities including Urumqi, Beijing, Shanghai and Zhengzhou.

Edmund Huang, a property agent in Lujiang, in Guangzhou’s Haizhu district, said most people in the area had been infected with the coronavirus that causes Covid-19 even though it had been locked down for two months from around October 20, with all residents subjected to swab tests every one or two days.

“Over 90 per cent of the residents were infected,” he said. “People were infected even though they were locked in their homes. Everyone I know was infected.”

Over the past three years, the coronavirus that causes Covid-19 – Sars-CoV-2 – has become more transmissible. According to an article in China CDC Weekly, which is published by the Chinese Centre for Disease Control and Prevention, the basic reproductive number (R0) of the Delta variant that caused an outbreak in Guangzhou in May and June 2021 was 3.2, meaning an infected person could infect around three others if there was no intervention.

But the transmissibility of Omicron was several times higher, with one published paper putting the R0 of the strain seen in Tianjin in January last year at 8.2. The R0 of the strain now circulating in China is between 10 and 18, according to state media.

Hong Kong, which successfully fended off four waves of infection for two years through social distancing, border controls and compulsory tests for selected buildings, could not hold off a fifth caused by an Omicron subvariant. A tsunami of infection hit the city from January to March last year, killing over 9,000 people, with scientists estimating at least half its population had been infected.

Kwok Kin-On, an assistant professor at Chinese University of Hong Kong’s school of public health, estimated that even with intervention measures, an infected person in that outbreak could infect 6 to 10 others.

Shanghai had long been praised for taking a flexible approach to epidemic control. Instead of locking down whole districts, like many other cities, Shanghai locked down streets or subdistricts for compulsory PCR tests once infections were found. Infected residents and close contacts were quarantined, but large-scale social and economic disruptions were avoided.

But that approach did not work last March. According to a paper published by a group of Shanghai and Beijing scientists in the Lancet in September, the number of infections doubled every 3.2 days and even after a citywide lockdown was imposed on April 1, it took 13 days for the effective reproductive number (Rt) – the number of people a positive case could infect after interventions – to fall below one.

The Shanghai outbreak was contained after two months of citywide lockdowns. But it was a pyrrhic victory at best, with shortages of daily necessities, mental health problems and deaths caused by the denial of access to healthcare facilities beginning to sow public distrust in the zero-Covid policy.

In the following months, Beijing tried to avoid repetitions of the humanitarian crisis caused by strict lockdown in Shanghai by shifting to a more sophisticated approach called dynamic zero-Covid, which was similar to the flexible approach Shanghai had tried at first. Local governments were ordered to act fast to outpace increasingly transmissible Omicron subvariants that were emerging.

“PCR testing sites have been regarded as the main places where the virus spread,” said Xi Chen, an associate professor of health policy and economics at Yale’s school of public health. “There were long queues, and people tested positive may bring viruses to others, followed by more infected people after a certain incubation period.”

In Yili prefecture in the Xinjiang Uygur autonomous region, some residents said almost everyone they knew had been infected, from healthcare workers to the grass-roots officials who imposed the lockdowns. However, the official tally showed only dozens of new cases a day.

In September, Yili residents took to the internet to air their grievances at acute food shortages during three months of lockdown.

Then, on December 7, the nation was shocked by the central government’s sudden abandonment of most of the restrictions that had been in place for almost three years.

“If you are talking about the timing, why is it so abrupt? I can think of nothing else but the social protest,” said Yanzhong Huang, a senior fellow for global health at the Council on Foreign Relations, a think tank based in New York.

Shan Wei, a senior research fellow at the National University of Singapore’s East Asian Institute, said many local governments were on the verge of collapse because of the zero-Covid policy.

“Some local governments may have run out of financial resources and could not bear to continue with mass tests, lockdowns and economic downturns and reduction in tax revenues,” he said. “For places that could no longer pay the price, they reacted to the central government signal of relaxation quickly because they could not bear it any more and they were on the verge of collapse.”

Michael Osterholm, director of the Centre for Infectious Disease Research and Policy at the University of Minnesota, said it had been unrealistic to assume that Omicron could be contained.

“In their belief that they could control Omicron, they did very well with both Alpha and Delta variants, because they were not nearly as infectious,” he said. “It’d be like trying to put out a severe forest fire – it is difficult, but that could be done.

“Along comes Omicron, and it’s more like trying to stop the wind. You can’t – you can deflect it, but you can’t stop it. And they didn’t understand that. They thought that they could continue to use the lockdown zero-Covid policy approach and end the Omicron challenge, which just was not going to happen,” Osterholm said.

“Anybody could have seen this coming if they knew anything about this virus.”

📆 11 Jan 2023 📰 How Omicron variant of coronavirus led to bursting of China’s zero-Covid dykes ✍️ Josephine Ma 🗞️ South China Morning Post

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foreverindreamlandd · 2 years

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HeLLoOo! I see that your requests are open :D so I wanted to request a little something. What if the reader was on a zoom meet for work and Bucky was asking for their attention. like, just poking their arm and pouting and begging the reader to come and cuddle with him. thank you <33

Needy (hc)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x GN!Reader

WC: 1.3k

Warnings: Mentions of covid/quarantine

A/N: Oh my gosh FINALLY I'm getting to this!!! You sent this request at the beginning of February like :,) bless you for your patience. I'm gonna do a lil headcanon for this one <3 (also this is unedited and most likely riddled with errors will fix another time)

Listen, it's not like he can help himself.

Bucky just needs the attention.

Any moment your eyes aren't on him, or your pretty smile isn't in his line of sight, or your skin isn't close enough for him to touch with the pads of his fingers drives him up a wall.

It only grew worse better during quarantine, when both of you were working from home and there was literally nothing that could take you away from him.

No more begging in the morning, giant arms keeping you pinned against him while you giggled into his chest, begging to be free before you were late to work.

Now you had those precious extra minutes, rolling out of bed at the last minute to throw on a clean (looking) shirt and pulling out your laptop, just to jump back into bed and into his arms for as long as possible.

No more late nights that cause you to come home exhausted and stressed to the point of tears.

Now, as soon as the clock hits 5pm, Bucky is there to close your laptop with one hand and hand you your favorite evening beverage with the other, giving you a big welcome home kiss even though he hasn't left your side all day.

Sometimes though, your bosses get selfish and decide to force you away from Bucky's hold for dumb work meetings where you're forced into a work shirt that is severely less comfortable than his henley, and he's not allowed to be close enough to you where your team can see him on your camera.

It's the worst he hates it so much.

For the most part, it only takes you away for a grueling hour and you're able to sit on the couch. He learned to pass the time by painting your nails or giving you leg/foot massages, or sometimes just sit on the ground, back against the couch and wrapping his arms around your legs, head resting on your knees.

He just needs to be near you. It's a pull he knows will never diminish over time.

The only thing that gets him through this torture is knowing that you love your job, and seeing your eyes light with excitement when something goes well or hearing your laugh as you joke with your coworkers makes his heart swell with joy that you've found such a fulfilling career.

And though a part of him hates these meetings that take you away from him, he loves that he gets to see you in action, kicking ass as you always do.

This past week, however, has been a nightmare for him.

Because there was a summit.

Meaning you were in one long nonstop zoom meeting from 9 to 5 Monday-Friday.

Worse than that, you had to sit at your desk instead of the couch so that you could take notes and share presentations with the team.

Worse than that, the angle of your laptop camera showed the door to the office, meaning that Bucky couldn't sneak in and out to sit near you or bring you snacks and coffee and water throughout the day.

The only time he got to see you was during your 30 minute lunch break, and you'd collapse on the couch and scarf down the food Bucky made for you.

Any spare time you had left before returning to your desk was spent laying on the couch, head resting on Bucky's thigh as he massaged your scalp, your eyes closed to find relief after staring at a screen for hours.

It was the worst, miserable, and Bucky counted down the seconds until the end of the day Friday when he could have you back for himself.

He did everything he could to prepare. Made the bed, went to the grocery store to buy ingredients to cook your favorite meals - while also grabbing face masks and bath bombs for a DIY spa-day - and did the laundry to make sure that you wouldn't run out of fuzzy socks.

And then...finally...it was 5pm on Friday.

He was at the door as soon as you closed the laptop, running to your seat and scooping your body into his arms before you could even squeal in delight.

He kept you in his lap as he sank onto the couch, peppering your face with kisses and murmuring how much he missed you.

"I'll get a bath drawn for you in a second, baby," he said into your neck after another kiss. "Then I'll make dinner and we can watch a movie-"

A ringing sound came from your pocket, and Bucky froze.

You pulled out your phone to find a text from your boss and Bucky groaned, shaking his head after reading the message.

Hey Y/n! I know it’s after hours but can we do a quick informal debrief of the summit with just the core group? Should only take 15 minutes.

Bucky pouted as you untangled yourself out of his hold, whining as you walked back to the office to retrieve your laptop. Since it was informal, you figured it would be okay to return to the couch.

“Fifteen minutes, Buck, I swear,” you said, giving him a quick kiss and then sitting on the other side of the sofa where he wouldn’t be seen.

He narrowed his eyes, crossing his arms in front of you as you signed on.

Not that he could be mad at you for long. He made it five minutes before returning to the floor and hugging your calf.

You were still in the meeting 16 minutes later, and Bucky looked up at you. Your eyes flashed down and shook your head ever so slightly.

At twenty minutes, Bucky was getting annoyed. One of the chattier coworkers kept on adding more points and asking more questions even though he could tell everyone was ready to get the fuck off the call and relax for the weekend.

He started letting out these loud, dramatic sighs that were almost loud enough for the others to hear and you reached forward to squeeze his shoulder in a cut it out way.

Bucky smirked, enjoying the attention he was getting. It made him bold, and his hand lowered to tickle your foot.

The entire lower part of your body jerked and Bucky suppressed a snort from your sensitivity.

He did it again, and you must have muted yourself because you looked at him and said “Bucky, please stop.”

Your voice wasn’t annoyed, though. It was like you were trying to hold in a bout of giggles from the level of childish dramatics your giant partner was exhibiting.

And now all he wanted was to hear your laugh. It made him bold, desperate.

So he bit your thigh, just above your knee and you squeaked. Literally squeaked, and your mic was apparently back on because the person talking went silent.

“Everything okay, Y/n?” your boss asked, and Bucky stared at you wide-eyed, feeling guilty that he might have gotten you in trouble.

You nodded fervently. “Mhm! Thought I saw a spider but we’re good.”

Your boss chuckled. “No worries, I’m about ready to wrap up anyways. Thanks for your hard work everyone and see you Monday! Let’s do a half day so you can all sleep in that morning.”

Everyone said their goodbyes as you slammed the laptop closed, eyes darting to Bucky.

He bit his bottom lip. “Sorry,” he mumbled.

You moved the laptop to your side, then leaned forward to gently press your lips to his, and Bucky immediately sighed into you.

When you pulled away, lips ghosting over his, you whispered,

“Do that again.”

~~~~

Thank you for reading!

No pressure at all, but if you'd like to support me for my writing, please consider buying me a Kofi!

#Bucky x reader #Bucky x you #Bucky x y/n #Bucky Barnes imagine #Bucky barnes #inbox #request #bucky hc #bucky headcanon #highly functioning mitochondria

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paper-girls · 2 years

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A’s fic recs to cry your heart out to

aka fics i cried over.

hey lads. it’s been a while. so i return with sad stuff! that says a lot about my mental state probably. oh i started uni and it’s been awful. cold pizza is shockingly good. anyway. these are all gonna be angst with a happy ending cause i’m weak and don’t like characters to be sad forever. there’s gotta be a resolution. or maybe some sickly sweet fluff. it’ll be a fun surprise. just read the tags.

fic rec masterlist

sad bois away!

SakuAtsu

The Story of Us by thesweetestnerd

a classic, i know. if you’ve been around for a while you’ve probably at least heard of this one. or i’m biased. anyway it’s a great read. i’ve reread it like five times and i cry every time. i bet you two crisp high fives you’ll cry too.

Do I dare disturb the universe? by han_ying

have you ever wondered what a different choice would make your life like? have you ever been offered a cookie by a small orange man? no? well kiyoomi gives it a go. take a hard look at your life after this one.

Quarantine conversations by lettersinpetals

hey covid coping mechanism! how about you incorporate realism! you’d think spending all day every day with someone you love would be heaven yeah? well. sometimes people are emotionally constipated. i’m looking at you kiyoomi. this is a call out post.

When Atsumu Thinks About Love by GlitchyCookie

stress stress stress and feeling left behind. all things weddings bring. dances are also things that happen at weddings. so do kisses. took my heart out and put it in a bag with broken glass. at least it was polished at the end.

a soft place to call home (series) by yee_haw23

it’s so funny to me someone called yee_haw23 can deliver such and emotionally devastating series of fics. the one’s about loss and loneliness really get me can you tell. but yeah. being alone is never fun especially when it’s rubbed in your face.

Bound by internetpistol

not a bondage fic. shockingly. it is about being bound to someone and something though. and about fate. how something is bound to happen based on your decisions.

IwaOi

Ruin the Friendship by thesweetestnerd

some things were made to be messed up. like finger paint, tissues, and socks after a long day. what’s important to know is that messing something up is not the end of it, but a change of its’ shape.

Desperado by Verbrennung

hey kid you wanna read a heist au? what about a getting back together fic? yeah? yeah i got you. crime and love what a perfect combination. honestly, this is one of my personal favourites like ever. i cannot recommend this one enough. i may have also made a playlist inspired by it and if anyone wants it simply ask.

please disregard my house of cards (built from mistakes) by rekamohcs

softish. gratuitous plant imagery. shenanigans and tomfoolery. and it’s a university au. what more could you ask for. this fic gets a big fuzzy hug from me. and it made me feel things that weren’t necessarily sadness but made me cry nonetheless.

AsaNoya

Vienna Waits For You by Pouler (poulerslashes)

emotionally destroyed me. do not read if you’re not looking to be sad for a few days. or a few hours. depends on how fast you read but the aftermath is certainly long. loss is hard, but sometimes things aren’t as far as you’d think.

BokuAka

Behind Bricks by DeathBelle

it’s been around for a while but still gets me. prostitute au. sometimes plans get changed, for better or for worse. and sometimes things simply fall into place.

Rules by ConesOfDunshire

also a fan favourite. it’s me i’m fan. i just cannot get over positive depictions of autism. like. it’s not that hard but they went off in this one. do i cry? yeah. sometimes i remember this and go back and read a section of it. it’s not just a fic it’s an investment.

the strange music of your heart by caniculeo

someone’s gotta fall first. who better than akaashi? bokuto is unsure. they work it out. i would like to pack this fic a lunch, give it a little kiss on the forehead, and send it off to school.

DaiSuga

Black and Blue by MTrash (Makaria)

so first things first this fic has references to abuse so note that down. secondly, everyone lives in the same building but it’s a very gay building. thirdly, yeah i cried reading it sue me. this is my sad fic rec list.

Just Another by Mooifyourecows

so moo is actually a favourite of mine, and if you’re in the market for daisuga content, they have a lot. i love me a good unrequited-love-but-not-actually-it-just-took-some-figuring-out and also emotional constipation breakthrough fic.

Misery’s Company by Mooifyourecows

i wasn’t lying about loving their content. so take another. but this one has a clever plan that may or may not work. sometimes relationships don’t work and sometimes you gotta fuck with everything to get everything right.

i for sure have more but i don’t wanna put everything on one lest i overwhelm you. i realize some of the descriptions/reviews sound like tarot/oracle card meanings and i have nothing to say to that. i wrote this whole shebang in one go where the other ones can take days to months. maybe i’m procrastinating studying for exams. i hope you enjoy reading them as much as i did. and feel free to request more. i’ll get around to it eventually.

go forth and read my dears.

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aoitrinity · 4 years

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Why Do I Have to Feel Like a Fucking Conspiracy Theorist -- OR -- How I Find a Semblance of Peace on Sunday Night

I’m also going to start this out with a GIANT DISCLAIMER.

I am about to theorize about what may have happened to the SPN finale. I have absolutely no insider knowledge. I am merely speculating here based on the panels and a bunch of Twitter and Tumblr posts that I have been reading over the last few days. If you are not in a good place to read such things, TURN BACK PLEASE. Go take care of yourself and your mental health. You and your feelings are valid and deserve to be handled gently right now.

Additionally, if you are here to give me shit for being unhappy with the ending, please walk away as well. I am here to reach out and share my feelings with people who might be struggling to make sense of something that upset some of us in very deep-seated ways. I am not here to bother you or critique you or tell you that you’re lesser because you liked the ending. If you felt it was good, then go enjoy it.

Long-ass post beneath the cut, everyone.

Alrighty folks...I debated whether or not to do this because I have been spiraling down the hell that is the SPN finale since Thursday. The travesty of what happened to our show--to this beloved show that seemed to have been so perfectly and precisely written for at least four years that it had basically already paved its own tarmac on which to land its plane and we all thought we knew exactly what we were going to get. And then we didn’t. We had a nigh Cas-less and entirely Eileen-less ending. We had no goodbye between Cas and Jack. We had Dean dying young after finally finding his freedom, only to ascend to heaven with no one but Bobby. We had the weird, weird, weird incest-y death scene. We had the bridge crane shot thing because...sure. You do you, Robert Singer.

It was so terrible, so truly awful, and I couldn’t seem to square any of it with anything we had known going in. I tossed and turned and cried and didn’t eat or sleep all weekend. I spent hours just reloading tumblr and twitter, going to the Misha panel, reading and reading and listening and trying to figure out what the fucking hell is going on because I needed to know exactly where to direct my anger. And after a fuckton of talking with @winchester-reload, I think we have at least a very plausible theory about what happened here--I’m laying it out below as much for my own peace of mind as anything else, because otherwise all of these thoughts are going to continue to spin around in my head for weeks and I won’t be able to do jack shit.

Now to start off, unfortunately I do think Dean was slated to die from the beginning of this season. I don’t know WHY they thought that was the best way to go, and I wish they had listened to Jensen on this one. Part of me wonders if it was an order from on high based on the discussion between Becky and Chuck earlier this season--the writers knew it wasn’t a great choice, but they were trying to signal to us that we should feel free to write our own endings to the story because they’d be better (I can wax poetic on the signs of why many of the writers probably wanted Dean to live, but that’s another post). I’m not defending that choice by any means, just laying it out there that I think they didn’t necessarily all want to kill Dean like they did.

However, what I THINK I can explain now is what happened with Misha and why we got so jerked around with Cas’s story. Consider what we know (I can’t immediately source all of it, but I did my best):

At the end of episode 15x19, Lucifer has been returned to the Empty after being killed AGAIN. He talks with Cas. Maybe harasses him a bit about Dean, idk. But then...Jack shows up. New God Jack. And he picks up Cas and pulls him out of the Empty, leaving Lucifer behind, because seriously. Fuck that guy (also leaving behind his abusive father is character growth for Jack, so yay for that).

-Misha was contracted to film 15 episodes this season. He was only in 14.

-Misha told Michael Sheen he had to go back to film 1.5 episodes after the shutdown in March. (Starts at 6:13)

-Misha was in Vancouver during filming of the finale.

-Mark P said at Darklight Con that the last scene he filmed was with Alex and Misha (and Mark P was only in episode 19).

-Misha implied that he was present for various filming moments, including Dean’s death (start at 35:15), and said that it felt like a “mini-reunion.”

-Various sources have mentioned that Jimmy Novak was supposed to be in the finale.

-After episode 18, Stands tweeted a fan who was angered and hurt by Cas's death that they could talk about the “bury the gays” issue after the finale aired.

-In episode 19 we know there were takes of the parking lot scene where the only thing fans observing could hear was Dean yelling “CAS” at Chuck (fuck I can’t find this one right now, but it’s definitely out there)

-Also in episode 19, we had a very strange, awkward montage at the end of the episode.

-In episode 20, we know there were a FUCKTON of missing scenes

-We also had no opening montage, but three other separate montages.

-Carry on My Wayward Son was played TWICE, back-to-back at the end of the episode.

-Episode 20 was shorter than normal and had surprisingly little dialogue. The pacing was VERY strange.

-The cast and crew has been almost completely silent about the finale since it came out. When they have spoken, it has been with an awkward excuse of “Uh...COVID?”

-Samantha Ferris has specifically noted that, despite the Harvelle’s being back in play and a big heaven reunion having been planned pre-COVID, neither she nor Chad Lindberg received any such invitation to return.

-Cas and Dean POP Funko figures were pictured together in a replica of Harvelle’s in 15x04.

NOW with all of this in mind (and I’m probably missing some stuff too because there is so much--feel free to add on to that list), please bear with me because here is what I think we were SUPPOSED to get POST-COVID (after it was determined that the reunion couldn’t happen because of the virus):

In episode 20, we start with our NORMAL OPENING MONTAGE, like always. It traces everything that happened during the season. We are reminded of Cas. The confession. Rowena. Eileen. Jack. Billie, God, the Empty, all of it.

Things then follow along in the episode where they did up until Dean dies and wakes up in heaven. After his conversation with Bobby, he drives off to find Cas (who, in the script, was listed as “Jimmy Novak” in order to protect against script leaks--who wouldn’t want to do their best to avoid spoilers about the finale with the wrapping of a fifteen-year show?). He does indeed find Cas. We get Dean’s end of the confession. Hell, maybe we even get a kiss. And then Dean sets up his new heaven home in the recreated Harvelle’s. Maybe Cas even fucking moves in.

Years pass. We get Sam having his life on Earth (still can’t explain why they cut Eileen and couldn’t even have Sam signing vaguely to the blurry brunette in the background; if anyone wants to take that on, go for it). Eventually, Cas tells Dean that it’s almost Sam’s time. Dean takes Baby and goes to meet Sam at the bridge. The cover of Carry on My Wayward Son plays during this much shorter sequence. End of episode.

But that’s not what we got. Instead, much of what I just wrote about was excised from the episode. The remnants were stitched together after shooting had been wrapped. Filler was added in the form of montages and long, unnecessary extra shots to get the episode to something approaching a reasonable length.

But why? Why would they spend all that time and money and quarantining on Misha, only to almost completely cut him out of the finale? I struggled with why the fuck the CW would want this mammoth show to go down as the greatest queerbait in TV history when they had the chance to do something truly beautiful and monumental with it? It couldn’t just be sheer homophobia, right? Well, I think that factored into it, my friends, but here is where my head is at right now.

It was about cold, hard cash.

Now I could be wrong, but this is what I’m thinking at the moment: Supernatural is going off of the air. Supernatural, the CW’s cash cow for fifteen years. Sure there is still money to be made on blu-rays and merchandise and cons...but they need people watching their shows. They need that sweet advertising revenue. And you know what show they have about to premiere? A show that could, potentially, bring with it a chunk of that SPN revenue?

Walker.

And if any of you know anything about the original Walker Texas Ranger, you know that the show was predominantly a show about a very heterosexual white man being very excessively heterosexual. And for SOME REASON over the years, many of the execs at the CW still seem to think that this show, Supernatural, is really attractive to a lot of middle-American white men...whom they desperately want to watch this new show with this guy from Supernatural that they already know.

Now here’s where COVID fucked us. I think Destiel was greenlit by TPTB, at least in SOME form, before COVID. But then the pandemic happened, and they panicked. They got the cut of the last two episodes and watched them in their original, probably queer form. And then, the execs at CW looked at the economy. They looked at their cash cow, about to make its journey to the great beyond. And they looked at this new little calf Walker that they were so desperately worried about. And they made a choice.

They decided that it would be too risky to take the step with Destiel. They were worried about frightening off their ever-so-valuable hetero male demographic with the possibility that a traditionally masculine man in his 40s could be in love with another man in an overt way. It was homophobia mixed with greed, spun up by fear for their revenues because of COVID.

So they called in Singer, possibly Dabb, although I wouldn’t be surprised if they went straight to Singer. They told them that Destiel had to go: executive orders. And the only way to make it go in a way that removed any trace of what had been there was to rewrite what happened to Cas and cut him out from the last two episodes entirely. It was too late to reshoot anything. They had to just cut and stitch and fill with bullshit montages.

They removed the scene at the end of 19, probably because Cas and Lucifer discussed Dean. All that was left of Misha there was his voice on that fake phone call. They may have cut other things too, but I would bet my life that they cut a scene from the end of the episode and replaced it with that very strange montage. Then they moved onto 20. They cut out every scene with Cas. And left in only two platonic mentions of him, neither made by Dean. They tried to imply that Cas might show up in Dean’s heaven at some point, but that was as far as the editors could go in the time they had. They filled in with montages, awkwardly long shots, anything they could do to fill all of those missing scenes.

And they even had to take the opening montage, because literally everything in it pointed to Cas being there at the end of it all. They wouldn’t be able to leave out his scenes, they were too critical to the season. They couldn’t cut his confession without raising eyebrows. So they cut the whole thing and moved “Carry On My Wayward Son” to one of the newly-added driving montages at the end. Which is why we awkwardly had both songs play back-to-back--again, such a strange choice unless they were out of options and couldn’t exactly buy rights to a new track or compose anything else.

And so we were left with the shadow of the finale that we deserved, that Cas and Dean deserved. We were left without resolution or happiness or words. Bobo told us the most important thing about happiness is just “saying it” and our characters were silenced without anyone ever knowing the truth.

I think the writers might have known and been given the new party line that “Misha never filmed, he couldn’t, sorry, it was COVID, no one’s fault!” But I don’t think most of the cast even knew it had happened until they watched the finale on Thursday with us (though they might have been confused why the bit from 15x19 was sliced, they could reasonably have assumed it was a time thing and also BL episodes don’t make sense anyway). Why do I say that?

Well, first of all, Misha started sending out a bunch of excited texts to fans with some old BTS pictures about an hour before the show started airing on EST. He also wanted his children to see the episode, his YOUNG children. Why would he show them such a traumatic episode if their Dad wasn’t in it? What if it was because he wanted them to witness what was going to be a monumental moment in queer television history that their DAD got to be a part of? And then that was all dashed.

Which is why I think the cast and crew went almost completely radio silent the next day. I don’t think they knew. And based on how they have been acting on social media since then, I think many of them are absolutely furious, but they have been silenced because of NDAs, because they want to find work again in a cutthroat industry, because they don’t want to bring down the hellfire of Warner Brothers Entertainment upon themselves. So the most we have gotten is a little acknowledgement from the MERCHANDISING COMPANY trying to validate our pain (god bless Shirts, she is a LIFESAVER) and a response to my salty tweet about keeping good stuff in the closet from Adam Williams (the VFX coordinator) that seemed to acknowledge the validity of my complaint.

Then there was a scramble behind the scenes, I would bet my life. Talking points were fed to the boys who had panels today, to CE, to all the cast and crew:

Toe the party line. Misha never filmed. This was always about COVID. Do not mention Destiel. Do not mention Dean’s feelings for Cas. Do not promote the Castiel Project or anything that validates the idea that this was anything less than a superb ending.

And that is why we have heard so little from the cast on this front, and what we have heard has been muddled and contradictory. That is why the writers are saying nothing. That is why we have been left adrift.

Now before I close this out, I do want to say that I really, genuinely do not think this was on the writers at all. I feel like they tried to give us the best ending that they could, in a writers room that we know is notorious for splitting along party lines about the overall story (BL and Singer, who have always been about the brothers and their man-pain vs. Dabb and the rest who always seemed to want more for them and for Cas). I think they did everything in their power to at least end with Dean and Cas happy together. If they could give us nothing else, they wanted to give us that. And then the network took it from them. From us. From everyone.

For the sake of fucking money.

And the WORST PART OF IT ALL, for me, is that in the wake of this disaster, the fans have been left to try and figure out what happened. We have had to wade through a mire of conflicting information in the midst of all of our collective anger and grief over this garbage ending of a show many of us have loved and even relied on for YEARS, all the while wondering if we’re just fucking crazy, if we have all fallen collectively into the hole of conspiracy theories. That hurts ESPECIALLY badly because we have taken so many hits over the years from other groups on social media saying we were crazy for seeing things that weren’t there (especially Destiel), for writing meta and analyzing tropes and believing the evidence of our eyes and ears. The network has made us relive that entire nightmare WHILE processing our grief for a show we wanted so badly to celebrate and which instead we now have to mourn.

So again guys, I cannot prove that this is exactly what happened at all; this is simply my idea of what may have happened. But right now, it’s the most sense I can make from this mess, and to be honest, the act of typing it out has helped me enormously in my processing of it all. I feel like I can see more clearly, like I know where to target my outrage and where to direct empathy. I feel like just fucking maybe, I might be able to do my job tomorrow without bursting into tears at random moments.

I really hope that this post has helped some of you to, in some small way, process this too. We get through this the way that Misha told us at his panel this morning, the way the writers have told us to do all season long...we throw out the story God gave us and we make it better. We write our characters the happy endings they deserve.

We save them.

One last thing--if you have not already, please consider channeling your rage into a donation to one of the five causes our fandom has put together to pay tribute to our beloved show and to mourn the ending it should have had:

-The Castiel Project

-Dean Winchester is Love

-Sam Winchester Project

-The National Association of the Deaf

-The Jack Kline Project

#supernatural season 15 #spn finale #speculation #destiel #destielgate #the ending was not the ending #fuck the cw #trust the story #we were robbed

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floralbuckleys · 3 years

Text

Stick Together | Buddie

♡ Pairing: Buddie/Fem!Reader

♡ Rating: PG

♡ Genre: Slice of Life

♡ Word Count: 2k

♡ Status: Drabble

♡ Beta: Thank you so much to my boo, @enterprise-medical for betaing!

♡ Warnings: Covid Mention, Pandemic Mention, Someone being a total ass to Y/N, but don’t worry Buddie has it, Slight Swearing and Insulting, Anti-Mask Fool

♡ Summary: When an angry customer comes at you, Buck and Eddie come to your rescue.

♡ Note: Wanted to write this after a little convo between @fireladybuckley & @enterprise-medical in the discord! Here’s to all the front line workers who’ve had to deal with someone being a dick about basic mask requirements. Y’all strong and deserve all the respect.

When you started working part time at the local grocery store to support yourself through college, you had no idea it would be on the cusp of a worldwide pandemic. It was supposed to be a normal lowkey job. Instead, it turned into something much more complicated as life, a pandemic and mandatory quarantine took over.

Now you had to deal with massive product shortages, new sanitary guidelines, and frightened customers every day. Paired with mask requirements and the difficult shoppers who refused to wear them.

Needless to say, the first few months were a huge adjustment period, and honestly you would have quit if not for your amazing co-workers.

All of you were now front line workers, in charge of making sure people could get food and basic necessities. All while risking your health as there was no vaccine yet, but you still had to be around hoards of people everyday.

You felt compelled to keep working hard and doing what you could to help make things easier on everyone. You just wished all customers felt the same, but they didn't. Some people were plain rude, pushy, and just impossible to reason with.

It seemed like every shift you or one of your co-workers had to deal with a shopper like that, and tonight would be no exception.

Only an hour was left on your shift, and you couldn't wait to get home. Feet already aching and the need for a long shower in the back of your mind.

Currently, you were restocking the produce section when someone called for your attention.

“Pardon me,” A customer spoke up from behind you.

Immediately, you paused what you were doing and turned around to face them.

“Yes, what can I do for you ma'am?” You replied, giving a friendly smile.

“I thought someone should know, there’s a man over there not wearing a mask.” She explained with obvious annoyance in her voice, “Can you please go ask him to put one on? It’s required isn’t it?"

She pointed towards the entrance of the store, where you could see said man standing around checking the walk in displays. Clearly not wearing a mask despite all the signs outside and inside the store saying you were required to.

Resisting the urge to roll your eyes at the annoyingly familiar sight, you maintained your friendly attitude. “Yes, I'll take care of it. Thank you for bringing it to an associate's attention."

"No problem, sorry you still have to deal with stuff like this," she said, genuine sympathy in voice before she walked off.

"Thanks," you muttered as you let out a sigh.

All day without even one person walking in without a mask, but someone just had to break the rule. You could call a manager over to speak to him about it, but you decided to deal with it yourself.

Maybe it was because of your own frustrations with the pandemic and those who make it harder on everyone, but you just felt like being the one to do it.

You strode over to him, squaring your shoulders and putting on your best face of confidence as you did.

"Excuse me, Sir,” you spoke up calmly, making sure to stand the designated six feet from him.

He turned towards you, a deep scowl on his face. His eyes were narrowed and unfriendly as he looked you up and down.

“What?” He demanded bluntly.

His unexpected response made you unconsciously take a step back.

Okay, maybe you should have gotten a manager, but you would still hold your ground.

“I’m sorry to disturb you, but it’s our store's policy that you must wear a mask at all times, if you don’t have one I can go and get one for you.”

You picked your words carefully, making sure to be polite despite his rude demeanor.

“No," he said bluntly, crossing his arms over his chest as he glared at you, "I don’t buy into all the coronavirus bullshit, and I don’t wear no damn mask.”

His ignorant words took you aback, irritation now clear on your face as you let out a sigh.

Was this dude serious? Even after this entire year?

Still, you tried to reason with him.

“Sir, please. Whatever personal beliefs you may hold, these guidelines are in place to protect yourself and others. If you refuse to follow them, and won't accept a mask, you'll have to leave."

Despite the threat, your voice was quite shaky. This entire interaction had been unpleasant and your initial confidence was nowhere to be found.

Honestly, most people weren't this difficult and would have just put on a mask or left by now. You wished he would do the same.

However, the man apparently had other ideas as he took another step towards you, now in your personal space as he raised his left arm, jerking a pointed finger at you.

"Listen, if you think I'm about to be told to leave by some minimum wage-"

Before he could spew his tirade of words any further, he was suddenly cut off mid sentence, as two tall figures wearing navy blue uniforms stepped in between the two of you, effectively cutting him off from your view.

You blinked in surprise, dumbfounded as you looked between the two strangers. The one to your right stood a bit taller than the other with bright blue eyes and dirty blonde hair. Whilst the latter had hazel eyes and brushed back brown hair.

Despite the stressful situation you were currently in, you couldn’t help but notice how handsome they both were.

Your eyes roved their uniform. It looked similar to a cops, but then you noted the LAFD on their silver badges.

Firefighters?

"Excuse us, ma'am. I’m Buck, and this is my partner Eddie. We’re looking for something and a little lost...Mind helping?" He asked voice, sweet as honey, and all smiles.

The man you now knew as Buck acted completely calm, as if not at all aware of the belligerent customer.

“Yes, we’re very lost.” Eddie insisted from beside him, also offering you a kind smile.

"O-Oh, um… I’m Y/N, it's nice to meet the both of you.” You stuttered, unsure what to do as you moved to the side, to look behind them, “but actually I'm with a customer at the moment…”

As you finished, said customer shouted from behind the three of you, “What is going on?”

Buck’s jaw flexed in annoyance, but he otherwise didn’t acknowledge it.

"Don't worry about that, I’ll handle it.” Eddie said a slight edge to his voice now.

"Huh? Oh no, I couldn’t let you do that." You protested, with a shake of your head.

Sure the man was making you very nervous, but it wouldn't be right to just let another customer handle it.

"I said, what the fuck is going on?" The man repeated, now cursing and raising his voice.

You flinched at his growing aggression. The three of you ignoring him clearly making him even more agitated.

You opened your mouth to reply, but before you could Eddie whirled around to face the man.

"There is no need to curse. Stop causing a disturbance." He snapped, authority seeping from his voice.

Buck turned around as well, but you noticed the way he stood a bit in front of you, his right arm out slightly, as if shielding you.

The man deflated a little, his eyes darting from Buck to Eddie as he gulped, his rude exterior nowhere to be found now.

Still he defended his actions, “I'm not causing a disturbance, just exercising my first amendment right to free speech."

“Free speech means you don't have to wear your mask during a pandemic, really?” Eddie scoffed.

"That's right, and this bitch is trying to force me to."

That seemed to be the last straw for Eddie as he moved closer to the man, now invading his personal space as he glared at him.

“Listen you foul-mouthed prick, my boyfriend and I have just gotten off a 24 hour shift and I am not in the mood to deal with this. Put your damn mask on or get out of the store."

The man gulped and as he took a step back, clearly intimated by Eddie as he sputtered, "How can you defend this mask crap when you serve this country as a firefighter?"

“How can I?" Eddie, repeated, letting out a sharp laugh. "I serve this country proudly, served in the army too. But I don't serve idiots like you who refuse to comply with public health measures during a global pandemic. Which I've had to see every single day with my own two eyes, while whiney dicks like you drone on and on, making things harder for us all."

He emphasized his point by gesturing to you, emotion thick in his eyes and voice.

Buck decided to step in now, placing a hand on Eddie’s shoulder gently as they locked gazes. They seemed to have an unspoken conversation for a moment, before Eddie let out a sigh and stepped back slightly, as Buck looked towards the man.

"Leave now,” Is all he said, his voice stone cold.

You breath hitched in your throat as you wondered what he would do. A few customers had already stopped what they were doing to watch the scene unplay, and the last thing you wanted was for it to go any further.

Thankfully, it didn’t.

“Whatever, this ain't worth it…" The customer said begrudgingly as he turned around and started walking to the exit.

“Wait.” Eddie spoke up, causing him to immediately pause. “She deserves an apology."

Your eyes widened, not expecting that as they both stepped to the side to give him a clear view of you.

He didn’t turn around, no doubt much too embarrassed by the whole situation. But, after a second you heard a mumbled, “I'm sorry,” before he hurried out of the store.

Relief rushed through you as he disappeared through the front doors. Never has a situation almost gotten so out of hand, honestly if Buck and Eddie hadn’t stepped in, you don’t know what you would have done.

You looked towards your two unexpected knights, gratitude practically radiating off you.

“Thank you both so much for that, just wow… I don’t even know what to say.”

You truly didn’t. Typically any time a customer was being rude most people just acted as if they weren’t seeing anything, as if you didn’t even exist.

Even now the few onlookers that had stopped, were already moving on as if nothing happened.

“No need to thank us. I didn't say anything that wasn't true,” Eddie replied, rubbing the back of his head. “I’m sorry I got a bit heated there. We just saw him being such a dick to you and had to step in. We see this shit all the time.”

“I appreciate that,” you nodded, “and I don’t blame you. I bet you guys have it so much worse with your job than jerks like that.”

“We see our fair share of people acting out of control,” Buck agreed, “but still you didn’t deserve to be spoken to that way. Are you okay?” He asked, genuinely concerned for you.

“Yeah I am. That was unpleasant, but honestly seeing the two of you handle him? Kinda worth it.” You chuckled. “It was great.”

“Hey, front line workers have to stick together.” Buck said with a wink.

“That we do,” Eddie agreed, before his eyes flickered to his watch, “But seriously, we do need help finding something. Our son has to have two dozen cupcakes for class tomorrow and someone forgot to buy the ingredients.” He threw a pointed look at Buck.

“Hey! I thought you were doing it!” He protested.

“It was on your side of the chore list!”

You giggled, all your anxiety forgotten as you watched the two of them launch into an adorable debate. What an interesting pair and a very cute couple.

“Alright, follow me then and we’ll get your cupcakes. Does your son want a certain flavor in particular?” You asked, heading towards the bakery as the two of them fell into step on either side of you.

“Definitely, vanilla.”

“What? No, he wants chocolate.”

“Boys, boys, don’t worry—we have both!”

My Masterlist || My AO3 || Please leave feedback, helps motivate! :) Thank you for reading~

#911reader #buck x reader #911 imagine #9-1-1 imagine #911 imagines #eddie x reader #buddie x reader #911 reader insert #evan buckley x reader #eddie diaz x reader #911 fanfics #my fics #fic: stick together

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oh-for-fic-sake · 3 years

Text

It’s A Match Chapter One

Masterlist

Disclaimer

Summary: Filming is over and Henry returns home to and empty house. And he doesn't like it, things are getting to him and he doesn't want to be alone anymore. Then his brother suggests online dating, it sounds mad but henry decides to give it a shot. If worst comes to worst he just deletes the profile. He has nothing to loose right?

Warnings: Angst, Swearing, Cheese, Self Indulgent Fic, Rpf, Plus sized reader.

A/N: so I wrote this before the whole 'girlfriend' shock and everything that has followed. I was of two minds whether to ever post it but honestly, this is my blog and I've clearly stated that i am going to continue writing Rpf. I want to do a little ficlet/mini fic and well here we go. It wont be smutty just somewhat angsty then fluffy. Enjoy~

Taglist: In Reblogs.

Henry slumped back on the seat in his conservatory and sighed, from here he could see his brothers and their wives outside, each snuggled up on the out door wicker sectional he had got to have the family over. It was the first family get together for over a year. He was happy, god it was amazing to see them but... He couldn't help being a tad envious.

They all had a family, wife and kids to go through this shitstorm in. He had no one, well he ha Kal. But that was it he sighed and looked away sipping from his cup slowly takeing a moment for himself. He needed to just chill, but it was getting hard... This year had really knocked him back he was at an all time low he hadn't felt like this for a long time. He knew he was depressed, he felt stupid there was no reason to be but there we go.

Henry had been getting himself all twisted for a while now, filming the Witcher helped but now that was over and he was home alone. Left with his thoughts in a big empty house.

"Sooo little brother want to tell me what's going on or am I gonna have to get mum in here?" Henry jumped at the voice and spun around to face his brother who was keeping a safe distance at the door. Wiping his hands down clearly just having washed them again.

"I ah its nothing, you know me I'm a worry wart" he said waving off his older brother he didn't want to bring down the mood of the small gathering, it was why he had come in here to take a breather.

"You called us all here for a visit hen, out of the blue when lockdown is still being eased out. Its clear you don't want to be alone, yet your sitting in here alone." His older brother said leaning on the door frame folding his arms trying to figure out what was really going on. He could see his little brother was hurting he wanted to help.

"I've got Kal" Henry said with a chuckle and looked about for the bear only to frown and sigh seeing the room was empty apart fro him and his brother.

"Kal's outside with the kids hen, what's up? You can tell me you know" henry sided as his sibling moved sitting in the small seat across from him. He knew that his family would listen but he felt so... spoilt like he was asking too much and was being selfish. It wasn't like him.

He grunted leaning back choosing not to look at his brother instead focusing on the cup in his hand. He spun it slightly then heaved a sigh. He wasn't getting away with not speaking about it, he was going to air out his worries one way or another. With his brother or his mother, and he loved his mother but this was? He wanted to keep this issues close to his chest. So far only Kal knew about his problems.

"I... I've had enough... just had enough of fucking covid and being alone... i felt isolated before all this shit kicked off and now?" He vented releasing all the fears he had. It was tough, he was a family man without his own little family, he hadn't managed to find anyone to share his life with and it got to him. He tried being sincere and polite, he took care of himself and tried staying true to himself but... something was missing it had to be! On paper he was a safe bet a good man! Yet his relationships never worked. There were different opinions or his other half couldn't handle the life style or they tried changing him or they couldn't put up with the way he loved so furiously- so openly wanting to always hold and kiss them. It just never quite worked.

"Its- fuck everything has just caught up with me...worries I've had for a few years now I could ignore them you know? I had other stuff going on, was always out and about meetings and press tours I was busy! But now?" He tried putting his feeling into words but he was conscious, he didn't want to whine or bitch about his life. He loved his work and the life he had made for himself he just? Wanted someone to share it with.

"Now after covid you've got all the time in the world to think?" Henry nodded agreeing with his brother. Covid had made him face these fears head on. He has been alone for the best part of a year with the uncertainty of his work and filming quarantines and isolations.

"Yeah, it hurts I'm... I'm in deep and I? I don't know how I'm getting out of this slump" henry finally said outloud, his brother dipped his head listening to him as he ranted. Started letting out all the frustration and anxiety out but stopped short with another growl closeing his hand around the cup tightly hissing in frustration then looked away.

"And what's caused it? I know you hate being alone but?" Henry sighed shaking his head as his brother tried coaxing more out of him. He drew in a shaky breath wanting to cry, he was just so lost and upset over being upset and alone.

"Two lock downs... Two alone- I? If this carries on for the next few years I don't... I don't want to be alone anymore! I want to settle down, I want an actual personal life! A relationship a family and? How? How am I gonna find all that? They want fame or money or something! Women never seem to want me for me, they say the do then judge me for my hobbies- I'm a geek I like tech and games and fantasy! And women don't like that" he spewed the words like they were venom, half ashamed of being so dramatic but the fear was real. Henry was scared, he wanted love. He wanted a family of his own, and it seemed impossible, now more then ever.

"I want to meet someone who will take me as I am, for me and I just I'm giving up. I'm giving up on it I can feel it, almost forty and look, alone unmarried no kids-I have no one to share my life with, it hurts am I not good enough for that?" He hung his head as he spoke the final words put loud. He felt so vain and full of himself when he said them out loud, his skin crawled.

But it was how he felt, being the muscular decent looking man he was didn't go with his personality. He was a geek and the woman who were drawn to him didn't want that. And the woman that shared his hobbies normally weren't confident enough to even speak to him. Society's views on acceptable couples had put Henry in no mans land.

"What about online dating?" His brother spoke up but Henry just grunted rolling his eyes frustrated.

"What? No I cant do that I'd be fucking swamped" he hissed in irritation frustrated at the mere suggestion of him trying to date online.

"Whoa hold your horses let me finish I mean come on Hen there's bound to be hundreds of shy sweet women on there, I mean girls that are into your hobbies and stuff aren't usually the ones out and about partying and stuff, so its more likely they will be online" his brother quickly explained before Henry could pop off on one and shut him down.

Henry opened his mouth and stopped himself. That was a good point. Many of the women he would click with weren't going to be in bars or fancy parties. They were normally shy and at home most of the time reading or playing games.

"I... You really think i could meet someone? Meet the one online?" He asked in a small voice warming to the idea. His sibling smiled and nodded enthusiastically.

"Yes little brother, your a down to earth guy, just make a profile and have a look, if you don't like what you see you can delete the profile" henry nodded slowly thinking it over. There'd be no harm if he failed well he'd be no worse off, a little disheartened but that's about it.

"Look write down a few things you want in your dream girl, have a pseudo name like fucking I don't know Hank! Or something and say your a runner on set or something" his brother spoke up quickly as Henry sat back and actually thought about it seriously. He was right, henry could tweak things and be careful about what he shared and if he did meet the one then she'd understand... He could explain the predicament he was in. That he just wanted someone who liked him for him. And he would only reveal himself to her if she was the one and he was sure she would understand. As long as he was himself and honest about everything else in his life then there was no harm... and if he used proper photos of himself just... half cropped out then? It wasn't catfishing? Because he was being himself just using the nickname his mother used to call him.

"O-okay so be myself but... Just tweak a few things? So they don't know its me?" He reiterated to his brother still trying to figure out the morality of this whole idea.

"Yes! No full on pictures, no photos of Kal either new photos henry not old, maybe of your eyes up or something? Girls love blue eyed boy- not your right that brown will give you away... you could even fuck em up with a behind the scenes character photo? I mean come on how many men use a superman photo for their profile these days?" He encouraged wanting more then anything to cheer up his little brother.

"I yeah... That could work ,thank you- I'm sorry I got so worked up it... Its just getting to me now" henry apologised but his brother shook his head and chuckled standing up to go back outside to the others that were all happily chatting in the garden.

"I know Hen, look just give it a go, you might be surprized... come on lets get back out there, after all you are the host~ you cant just run off and hide" henry grinned standing and following his brother. It was decided, he'd give online dating a go!

A week later Henry sat at the computer everything was ready, he'd taken some precise photos and had spent the last half hour writing a profile up. He had felt a little guilty about this... Was he lying? Technically it was him, he was going by Hank which was a nickname his parents gave him as a child, luckily this site didn't require a surname because honestly? He had no clue! To fend off some guilt he had thrown in a behind the scenes photo of himself as superman it wasn't much but it helped take the edge off. The other photos were cropped and there were a good few just so that the women knew he wasn't technically a catfish; he even did one with him covering half of his face with a piece of paper with Hank scrawled across it. At the time he felt silly but it helped with his anxiety over the whole thing.

He paused for a second eyeing the screen rereading the profile over and over trying to make sure it was alright and honest. And it was, he had explained a little about himself, his hobbies and interests and his job... Only brushing over he worked for the film and tv industry recently working for Netflix he hadn't exactly explained what he did but there was enough information.

With a deep breath he clicked the button his mouse hovered over going live with the profile. Now all he had to do was wait and hope he caught a good womans eye. Within moments a few profiles popped up, matches. He scanned them flicking through some of the profiles and felt his heart crack. They were all full of badly filtered photos and used slang that to be honest he didn't even understand. What was so hard about using plain English?

He growled growing frustrated clicking through what were clearly a bunch of wannabe sugar babies. Each profile had a main photo a little bit of info then a few more pictures added to them. He scanned each one quickly going through the motions judging each one. 'Too far away... Your clearly not even eighteen?... Oh you like dc? Really hate to break it to you but thor is not a dc character' Henry grunted as he bypassed what felt like hundreds of women each with their own 'duck face' selfie most advertising their Instagram pages some even ballsy enough to add their only fans pages.

'Wait a second who was that?' He paused and scrolled back up and eyed the image on screen. It was a face on photo a cute woman smiling uncomfortably. Unlike everyone else's there was no distorting blur or heavy editing, the only make up was in the form of eyeliner in a set of black slightly uneven cat eyes. A slightly skewed black flicks making a point of no editing on the photo.

She was a full figured woman with proper kissable round cheeks and a sweet nervous grin. Her eyes were what got him, they were kind and genuine he could see she was uneasy about the photo but she was beautiful. She lived about half hour away which wasn't to bad.

Henry clicked the profile and scrolled down she didn't smoke, drunk occasionally and had no children. She did however have a college education in animal care and ran a small business. Centred on dogs by the looks of it. He moved further down reading the profile.

Y/n, 30, business owner, e/c, 5'4, curvy

I'm shy so will take a while to warm up to you. A honest woman, sometimes to honest I don't seem to have a filter 🤗 I'm laid back and tend to be sarcastic and I love animals I'm a kc certified dog breeder as well as run a small successful business that caters to dogs. So if you are allergic or don't like dogs then leave now but thank you for clicking🙃

I spend most of my free time gaming or reading. I enjoy the fantasy genre and love dc and marvel (though I love dc just a tad more🤫)

I have one fur baby in the form of my lovely girl Amii who is a three year old malamute. Yes malamute not a husky or Akita so again if you don't like dogs or big dogs I'm not the girl for you.

I'm looking for someone to have fun and maybe build a life with. Covid has been tough being single and decided that it was about time I tried this whole online dating thing. If you want to chat pop me a message 🥰

I do not have a personal Instagram, snapchat or only fans! Stop asking for pictures!😠😠

Henry's face split into a huge grin. She seemed to good to be true. She was wholesome, successful in her own right and looked fun. She didn't seem to be full of kale and bullshit. Just genuine and? Henry couldn't put his finger on it but there was something drawing him to this woman.

True to her word there was no Instagram link, no only fans or snap chat or anything. He scrolled further seeing photos of her and the biggest fluffiest dog he had ever seen in his life. She was sitting down next to who he assumed was Amii her dog and he melted. Y/n looked happy and content, living her best life.

There was nothing that sent alarm bells ringing, no racey photos or 'Netflix and chill' innuendos. The profile was clean and genuine. He was right the woman was a little chunky but extraordinarily beautiful. The curves suited her and made her look more... cheerful and he could tell she was strong aswell, you had to be to have a huge dog like that about you.

There were photos of her walking a large pack of dogs in the wood; that he recognised! They were the very same he took Kal to only ten minuets down the road, he even recognised the small logo of her company on the jacket she wore. He had seen dog walkers wearing the same jacket so he knew of her brand. I he remembered correctly the company offered dog walking, grooming and kennel facilities as well as offering Breeding services helping stud dogs and stuff. They also helped advertise registered breeders and took in rescues for rehoming. It was a brilliant little company that he had even used for Kal once or twice to get his teeth cleaned and nails clipped, because Kal was a bugger for his pedicures!

He moved further down seeing more photos of the woman a small section with the games and tv she liked. Witcher was in both the tv and games category aswell as peaky blinders, Vikings and a few other shows.

Henry paused as he saw the chat button. Should he? He but his lip twisting on the spot in he chair rocking from side to side. What harm is there? He could just send a message she looked like a fun loving woman, he shared the same interests and stuff... so why not?

His fingers hovered over the keys ready to type out the words. But he choked. His mind ran blank what does he say? Hi? I saw your profile? Does he ask for a date? What does he do?

He let his hands fall and growled. Then scanned over the side of the message bar seeing a few pre-typed responses.

'It's a match!' 'You look fun, lets chat' 'I like your profile picture'

He winced they all seemed... wrong? Somehow they were polite and all but it- they wasn't personal or anything just... not quite right. He looked down as Kal came padding over and slumped next to him resting his chin on his foot with a loud sigh. With that Henry had an idea typing away a little message and hitting send before he could really think.

You sighed typing away the latest wage slips and added up all the various overtime, you really needed some more staff on now that lockdown was coming to an end. Thankfully animal care was essential so you hadn't been hit too hard a few staff were on furlough as they were extreme high risk and shielding but you were going out of your way to make the premises covid safe. Luckily it wasn't too hard as much of the business was just a few staff and lots of dogs.

You frowned when a chat icon popped up in to corner of your screen. 'Hank?' You though trying to remember if you knew a Hank? Maybe a client or some old friend... but you honestly couldn't recall. You l saved your document and clicked the small icon bringing up a chat and frowned a you read the little message.

'I call my dog bear but he has nothing on Amii, Shes the fluffiest dog I've ever seen in my life she looks perfect for bear hugs😅'

'what the hell?' You cursed scrunching your nose up at the screen rereading the words. That's a bit random... you clicked his icon a small photo of half of his face then froze as a dating profile opened up. 'Oh... shit' you said seeing that your own profile you'd set up a few days ago out of curiosity had garnered the attention of the handsome blue eyed stranger. You swallowed biting you lip thoughts of finishing updating your records now gone as you scanned Hanks profile and a small smile crossed your face.

Hank, 37, works in the film industry. Blue eyes, 6ft, muscular.

Decided to finally try this online dating, unsure what to say other then I'm looking for a life partner. I like to think I'm funny and laid back. I'm fit and active but that doesn't mean you have to be, but maybe my lady could come for walks with me and my four legged son? I promise he's my best freind and a good boy.

My job is tough and I'm away for long periods of time, but when I'm home I like to play games and am into warcraft. I paint miniatures when I can. Fantasy and superheroes are a big part of my hobbies so if you don't like all things geek then I'm probably not for you.

But if they are? Then feel free to message me, I will reply when I can.

You read and re-read the profile And your hands hovered over your chicklet keyboard. Biting your lip, do you respond? He seemed sweet and real... if that made sense. You took a deep breath. What was the worst that could happen? Asking for a plane ticket? You decided to take a chance and typed back a reply hitting send whilst you had your nerve and then flushed.

"And they say fluffy dogs only lure in women~" You giggled to yourself moving a hand over the huge fluffy girl beside you giving her pets whislt thinking of a reply.

#henry cavill #henry cavill x reader #rpf #henry cavill fic #henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill x you #henry cavill x ofc #henry cavill x y/n #henry cavill imagine

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calpalirwin · 3 years

Text

Spotlight

Summary: Ashton gets back to his craft

Word Count: 2.3k

And away, and away we go!

To say that watching Ashton under a year and a half of quarantine and uncertainty was difficult would be an understatement. Watching him ride out his lowest lows as he chased for the slightest high broke your heart in ways you didn’t know were possible. Sure, there were the moments when you thought he was pulling himself out of his personal pit of hell- the immediate release of CALM a week into lockdown, the creation of Superbloom and its release, along with the mini virtual concert. But oftentimes your usually happy-go-lucky sweetheart of a boyfriend was incredibly short-tempered, the smallest of things igniting a wildfire of frustration that tested both your patience and relationship with him.

It was a tense year and a half, filled with screaming matches, tears falling like broken glass, and slamming doors. But it was also a year and a half of heartfelt confessions, new routines allowing for renewed intimacy, and selfish desires that the time would stay stopped.

Oh, but the way he lit up like the sky on the 4th of July when he learned the news that he could go back into the studio with his boys? Worth every damn thing watching his grin as he circled the date on the calendar in a wide streak of black Sharpie.

And when those studio days turned into rehearsal days? You thought he’d fall apart as he tried to spit out the words.

“BABE!” Ashton’s voice boomed the second the front door opened, loud with excitement.

“What?” you asked, coming to greet him.

Your own cheeks hurt looking at the grin plastered across his face. “Rehearsals!” he whooped.

“Are you serious?!”

“Yeah!”

“For tour?!”

“Yes and no. We have a show!”

“ASHTON!”

“I KNOW!” His arms were around you in a flash, picking you up and spinning you around as both of your laughs bounced off the walls.

“Dizzy, dizzy!” you called out to him still laughing.

He set you down on your feet, and then his lips were on yours in a bruising kiss. “FUCK!” he couldn’t stop laughing or smiling. “Baby, I’m so excited. I have a show. With the boys. It’s real. We’re back. If we get to do this show… God, baby, it changes everything. I- It means we really get to go back. We won’t have to keep postponing our tour. We can put out the new album. And…” the words fell in a flurry as the reality of what he’d been missing for so long being within arm’s reach again set in. A rogue tear rolled down his cheek. “Fuck, I’ve missed this feeling.”

“I’ve missed seeing you this happy,” you smiled at him, catching the tear with your thumb before brushing his wild hair from his face.

“You’re coming right?” he asked, his smile faltering as his voice took on a note of fear.

“To the show? Of course, babe. I wouldn’t miss it for anything.”

His lips curved upwards again, but it didn’t quite match the smile he’d been wearing when he first came bounding through the door. “And tour? If we get that far? If we get that lucky?”

“Stop,” you said, holding his face in your hands. “Stop the spiral. Let yourself be excited.”

“But-” The doubts were beginning to rear their ugly head. He had already allowed himself to believe the covid shit was behind him once before.

“I don’t want the rug pulled out from under you either,” you told him softly. “But allow yourself this moment, Ash. And we’ll deal with the rest later.”

His eyes fluttered shut for a second as he leaned into your touch. When he opened them again, the kaleidoscope of colors that were his hazel eyes were soft. “I-” he started, words of how sorry he was for all the times he snapped harshly at you, how grateful he was for you toughing it out with him, and how he selfishly wasn’t ready to start missing you again a trapped jumble on his tongue. “I-” he tried again.

“I know,” you interrupted, stretching upwards to nudge your nose against his. “I know.”

~~~

While he hadn’t been able to get the words out, he found a different way of expressing himself in a way that left you both breathless and at a loss for words.

And when you woke the next morning, rolling over to find his side of the bed empty, despite your excitement for Ashton, your heart ached for the reality of what was to come of him stepping back into the spotlight.

But the bed was still warm, suggesting it hadn’t been long since he had left, and when you stumbled downstairs, you easily found him standing in the kitchen, his back to you as he poured coffee into two mugs. “Morning,” you greeted, wrapping your arms around his bare waist and pressing a kiss between his shoulders.

“Oh, hey,” he said, turning in your arms to kiss the top of your head. “You coulda stayed in bed. I was bringing up the coffee.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he giggled. “What? Did you think I’d left already?”

Your shoulders shrugged as you let go of your hold on him. “Yeah.”

“Without saying goodbye, first? C’mon, you gotta know me better than that.”

You shrugged again, reaching around him for one of the coffee mugs. “Well, thanks,” you murmured, taking a sip.

He frowned as he grabbed the other mug. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing.”

“Y/N… C’mon, we’ve been stuck together in this house forever now. You think I don’t know when you’re hiding from me?”

“I- It’s nothing. When do you gotta meet with the guys?”

“Not for a while. Stop deflecting.”

You sighed. “The bed was empty, okay? Let’s face it. For the shitshow that’s covid, it gave us a lot of time. A lot of time we don’t normally get to share because of our jobs. And that’s all I want to say about it because I’m happy, Ash. I’m happy you have studio days and rehearsal days again. I’m happy you have shows again.”

“But you can be happy for me, and pissed about an empty bed. You can be both at the same time.”

“Yeah, but it makes me feel fuckin’ lousy, Ash. Like this is the reality of your job. We’re not strangers to it. I’m just being selfish.”

He chuckled, taking your coffee mug from you and setting it along with his on the counter. “I’m not ready to miss you either.” Then his arms were pulling you in close to him, his hold both strong and gentle. “Wanna be selfish with me before I have to leave?” he asked, his breath hot on your neck, the kiss hungry as it traveled up the column of your throat to your lips. “Be selfish with me until we can’t.”

And how could you deny Ashton’s request when he held you, looked at you, and loved you the way he did?

~~~

A couple hours after Ashton left for rehearsals, you left yourself to go surprise him. The house was too quiet without him, and rehearsals were different from regular studio time. More special in a way you couldn’t put words to.

For some reason you were nervous as you pushed your way into the studio, his head snapping up at the sound of the door. “Baby!” he grinned up at you from where he was sitting on the floor next to Calum. “What are you doing here?”

“Thought I’d surprise you guys. Bring you all some lunch,” you said, holding up a food bag as proof.

“You’re the greatest,” he beamed, pushing himself up onto his feet and crossing the room to you.

“So you rehearse on the floor?” you questioned with a teasing smile.

“Well, we were taking a small break,” he told you with a sheepish smile.

“We were actually ordering food, but this is way better,” Michael chimed in, taking the bag of food from you, and giving you a quick hug hello. “Ash is right. You’re the greatest.”

“Yeah, best surprise ever, especially for Mike,” Luke laughed and Calum nodded in agreement.

Happy chatter ensued as food was passed around, Ashton sitting as close to you as he could, his nerves making the tips of his fingers shake. “You okay?” you whispered, gripping one of his hands tightly in yours.

He nodded. “Yeah. Just nerves about getting back into things.” He gave you a quick kiss before getting up to go sit at his drum kit. And how he could manage to look both so at home and so vulnerable at the same time was beyond you.

You looked over at the other guys, wondering if they were seeing what you were seeing, and Calum nodded knowingly at you while Luke and Michael offered up sad smiles of confirmation. Sighing, you got up and made your way over to Ashton, wedging yourself between him and his drum kit. “Talk to me,” you urged softly.

“It’s been a long time.”

“It has,” you agreed. “But you didn’t stop being a musician. You still played. You still made music this whole time.”

“What if we mess up? What if I mess up?”

“What if you don’t?”

He scoffed lightly. “I’m being serious, Y/N.”

“I am, too. Look, Ash. These are your boys. Playing music with them is what you were born to do. And I’m pretty sure they’re having the same worry as you about messing up. And it’s okay if you guys mess up. That’s why you’re having rehearsals.”

He let out a slow breath. “Yeah… Suppose you’re right.” He pushed his hands through his hair, taking another slow breath. “Okay. Okay, I can do this. Muscle memory.”

“Muscle memory,” you smiled reassuringly at him, draping your arms across his shoulders and leaning your forehead against his. “You got this, baby.”

“Will you stay? Having an audience… having you… It might help.”

“Of course, babe.”

~~~

The night of the show, you stood off to the side and out of the way as Ashton and the guys talked with the press about being back after almost two years of not playing a show together. You watched with a smile at the way Calum and Luke started humming their responses, and Michael took over the conversation when Ashton started fidgeting with his hands, giving Ashton that brief pause to collect his thoughts and settle his nerves.

“Muscle memory,” you reminded him softly when they all came back to prepare to go on stage.

“Muscle memory,” he nodded, shrugging out of his jacket. But his hands still shook as he draped it over a chair. So you grabbed them, holding them still in your own hands. “Fuck, I hate this,” he whispered in defeat.

“You’re allowed to be nervous, Ash.”

“I know. I just hate it. Of all the feelings I’ve missed, this isn’t one of them.”

“So focus on that. Focus on how great it feels knowing that there’s a crowd of people out there waiting for you guys. And fuck the rest.”

“It really helps that you’re here, you know that?”

“I wouldn’t miss this moment for anything.”

“I-” he started, but a stagehand came rushing through, ushering them towards the stage.

You kissed him swiftly. “I love you, too. Now go be amazing.”

Again, with a smile plastered on your face, you watched them from the wings. It was effortless how easily they fell back into performing live with each other, as if covid had never stopped them. The perfect team of brothers.

Ashton’s eyes were lit up like a Christmas tree when he came backstage, a sweaty smile on his own face as he hugged you tight. “That was amazing!” you beamed.

“That!” He pointed a finger towards that stage. “That I’ve missed!”

“This!” You grabbed his face in your hands. “This is the Ash I’ve missed.”

“I was trying to tell you something before I went on. Something I’ve been trying to tell you for a while now actually.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah… I, um… Fuck, I dunno why this is so hard for me. But I wanted to say thanks. I know I haven’t been the easiest person to love lately. I know I’ve been more moody than usual under covid, and I know I’ve taken a lot of my frustration out on you.”

“Ash-”

He held up a finger, cutting you off. “Lemme finish. I- I know I hit some of the lowest lows I’ve hit in a long time because of covid. And I know this shit’s far from over, and there’s probably going to be more rough moments as we get back into the swing of things after so long. But thank you, okay? I dunno what I would’ve done without you.”

“Ash-”

“Hold on. There’s one last thing. When we go on tour, I want you to come with us. If you can, of course. I just… I’d rather not miss you if I don’t have to. I- I need you. In a way I never thought I’d need someone. And for reasons I don’t think I’ll ever understand. But I need you.”

“Can I talk now?”

“Yeah.”

“For as much as covid has sucked, it gave us a lot of time to be together. A lot of time we didn’t have before.”

“You told me that already.”

“Shush. It’s my turn. We’ve seen the best and the worst of each other. And for all the times we could have given up, we didn’t. Every unlovable moment, we just loved each other harder. And for a while I wondered why that was. And it’s like you said. For whatever reason, I need you the same way you need me. And getting to see you get back to being this happy again… I wanna keep seeing it. And I wanna keep seeing it in ways that don’t keep us apart. So… I was talking with my boss, and with the band, and your team. And this was supposed to be a surprise but…”

“You’re coming on tour?” he interrupted, voice full of hope.

“I’m coming on tour,” you grinned.

Tag List

@aquarius-hood1996 @creator-appreciator @philthepegacorn @myfavfanficsever @cxddlyash @youngblood199456 @stormrider505 @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @hoodhoran @metalandboybands @maybeememez @kaitieskidmore1 @binxiboo

#spotlight #ashton irwin #ashton irwin fic #ashton irwin x reader #5sos #calpal irwin

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homoose · 4 years

Text

Weird is Good

Summary: A story about two people tryna make it through the age of COVID-19 in a country where people are fucking dumb lmao. My hc is that Spencer would be like wtf at all these science-denying anti-maskers. Also, two teachers just tryna make it through quarantine and remote teaching in a one bedroom apartment (this is taking place during a mandatory leave/lecture cycle).

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Category: fluff

Warnings/Includes: no warnings. reader is both a kindergarten teacher and a bruh girl with a pirate’s mouth. lots of Spencer x factz.

Word count: 3.1k

———

“We’re home for the next two weeks. ”

Spencer looked up from his desk to see Y/N kicking off her shoes, dropping her bag, and walking directly to the sink. “Starting when?”

“We get to go in on Monday to say goodbye to the kids and get any materials we might need. Then we’re home for two weeks. They’re calling it an early, extended spring break.” Y/N began her hand washing routine. As a kindergarten teacher, she’d always been a strict hand-washer. In the time of COVID, she had only become more zealous. She looked at Spencer. “Have you heard anything?”

“Since we’re so close to the end of the semester, the department head thinks they’ll try to finish out the year as normal.” He set down his pen. “I honestly don’t know. It will all depend on whether people follow the CDC guidelines. The spread of any virus is deducible mathematically, and SARS-COV2 is no different. Based on the outbreak in Italy prior to their lockdown, we can accurately describe its reproductive number, or Rt, to between 2.43 – 3.10.”

Y/N shut off the water and dried her hands on a paper towel. “In layman's terms, Dr. Reid.”

“The Rt tells how many people are infected by the contagious host,” he explained. “In the case of this strain, each infected person is infecting between two and three others. For comparison, the standard seasonal flu has an average Rt between 1.4 and 1.7.”

“So in other words, fucking yikes,” Y/N groaned. She moved to perch on the edge of Spencer’s desk.

“Indeed,” Spencer agreed. “We know how fast the flu can travel through an office or a classroom, so imagine if it was two times as transmissible. But it's also really important to understand that this number changes depending on the mitigations in place. Even prior to full lockdown, mask wearing and social distancing was somewhat common in Italy, so it’s likely the uncontrolled Rt is higher.”

“Jesus Christ.” Y/N scrubbed a hand over her face. “We’ll probably never go back.”

Spencer rubbed his hand up from her ankle to the inside of her knee. “The good news is there’s nothing special about this virus compared to others in terms of how it spreads— it’s just aerosols. So if everyone wears their mask, we’ll be able to keep the spread low.”

⧭⧭⧭

“It’s safe to say that everyone did not wear their fucking masks,” Y/N snapped. She watched from the couch as Mayor Bowser delivered the news that DC Public Schools would remain closed for the remainder of the year. “This is crazy. I mean, I knew it was coming because people in this country are absolute buffoons.” She looked at Spencer, fingers pressed to her temple. “But holy shit, are we ever going to be able to go outside again?”

“With schools and universities closed, people working remotely, and lockdown orders in place, the Rt in the US could stay low. But masks have to be worn at all times, and social distancing has to be strictly followed.” Spencer pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “I just— I can’t believe people are refusing to wear masks. The empirical, peer-reviewed data clearly shows—”

“This is ‘Murica, boy.” Y/N mocked. “Ain’t no tyrannical government gonna tell me what to do!” She rolled her eyes. “Trust me, your choice to abstain from social media is paying dividends to your sanity right now.”

Spencer looked truly dumbfounded, setting his newspaper down in his lap. “But that’s just it. It’s not just in social media circles.” He gestured to the article in front of him. “This economist just argued for ‘reopening’ the economy using the justification of herd immunity. Herd immunity can be a plausible option for less lethal diseases. But this virus is not like varicella—the chickenpox,” he clarified at Y/N’s raised eyebrow. He waved his hands around in exasperation. “Putting aside the fact that one facet of herd immunity is vaccinating as many people as possible, its success completely hinges on the Rt of a disease. If you model a population based on an Rt of 2.5, herd immunity wouldn’t be achieved until approximately sixty percent of the population has been infected. Consider that the US population is currently 328 million, and sixty percent of that is 196.8 million. The current mortality rate for SARS-COV2 is 3.06 percent. 196,800,000 multiplied by 0.0306 is 6,022,080. Over six million people would die. It's simple mathematics.”

Y/N let out an exasperated breath. “It used to be that simple math and facts were enough. Now you’ve got basement scientists who think they know better than actual, literal scientists who’ve spent their entire lives studying these things.” She ran a hand over her face and gestured at the news conference still playing. “How long do you think it’ll be before we’re both trying to teach from this tiny ass living room?”

⧭⧭⧭

“Goooooooood morning, kindergarten! It’s Friday, and no Friday is a bad Friday!” Spencer smiled. As he poured his first cup of coffee, he hummed along with Y/N and 23 six-year-olds as they sang their morning song. Observing fourteen days of remote kindergarten from across the living room had given Spencer a new appreciation for elementary school teachers, particularly Y/N. She sang, danced, conducted science experiments, held puppet shows, read stories, led art projects, and fielded questions for four hours a day— three hours less than when they were in the school building. He was exhausted by proxy.

But he was also grateful for the opportunity to watch Y/N in her element. Even though they were at home, she still got dressed every day in bright, patterned sweaters and dresses— her Ms. Frizzle attire, she’d told him once. She was able to channel her personality into a kid-friendly version that her students clearly adored, never afraid to be silly or strange to get their attention and keep them engaged during the long days. He worked from home whenever possible, strangely happy to have the background noise of kindergarten over his quiet university office.

...

“Okay, but where do I put the biiiiiiiiiiiig number?” Y/N made a wide gesture with her arms. “Ariah, where should I put it? In the big box, yes! But oh no, my small number needs a friend. My three is soooooo lonely!” Y/N drew her mouth into a pout. “DJ, how can I help my three not be so sad? You’re absolutely right, let’s put that two right next to him in our number bond.”

…

“I’ve been waitin’ for a girl to mute,” Y/N sang into the gold karaoke mic. “I said, muuuuuuuuuute, I’m blinded by loud sounds. No, I can’t hear the friend who’s tryin’ to talk.”

…

“Oh boy. Kev, honey, we can— we can see you. Kevin, Kevin, Kevin. We can see all of you. I can’t turn your camera off, buddy. You gotta— there we go.”

…

“Mute please, I need— I need everybody to mute, please. Oh my goodness where is that music coming from?” Y/N frantically searched for her index card with the picture of the mute icon, as the sounds of a highly inappropriate song blared through the computer speaker. “I know it’s so loud, guys. Why is my mute power gone?! This is why we need to make sure we keep our mute button on, kindergarten.”

…

“No sweetie, it’s not time to log off yet. I’m sorry, I know it’s such a long day. We have about an hour left. Do you guys wanna do a countdown? It’s the fin-al count-down! Do-do doo dooooo. Do-do-d-do-dooo…”

…

“Annnnnd, I should see all my friends on mute. William, hang on just a second. All my friends need to look at my picture, it’s an oval with a line through it… Okay, William, what did you bring to show us?” Y/N leaned toward the computer screen. “Grandma Kathy? O-oh, she’s— she’s in the—“ Y/N’s eyes widened. “Is that— is that an urn? Oh wow. Um, well, wow. It’s beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing that with us, William. Grandma Kathy, may she rest in peace.”

⧭⧭⧭

A week into Y/N teaching kindergarten from their living room, the university had announced its transition to online coursework for the remainder of the academic year. Spencer had to host his first zoom lecture, and he was absolutely dreading it.

“Spence, it’s going to be fine. It’s not like you’ve never been on a video conference,” Y/N assured him. She sat cross-legged on the couch, waiting for him to let her in to his practice zoom.

“Yeah, but I wasn’t running those meetings. I just showed up.” He squinted at the computer screen. “Are you in?”

Y/N barely resisted the urge to make a joke, knowing that Spencer probably wouldn’t appreciate the innuendo. “No, you have to admit me.”

“What do you mean? How do I do that?”

“There should be a box with a button that says admit.”

Spencer gestured at the computer. “Well there’s a bunch of boxes— which one should I be looking at?”

Y/N sighed and got up from the couch. “IQ of 187 and can’t find the box.”

Spencer dragged a hand through his hair. “I know I shouldn’t find this so difficult. I’m sorry you have to waste your time on this.”

“Hey, it was a joke.” Y/N grabbed his hand from where he was frustratedly pulling on his frazzled curls. “I’m sorry. That was mean and you’re already stressed enough.” She used her free hand to smooth his hair back into place. She scrunched her nose. “I love you and your limited technology skills. And honestly it’s kind of nice to have one thing I can actually teach you about.” She squeezed his hand, leaning over him to peer at his computer screen. “All right, let’s find that elusive admit button.”

When the day of his lecture rolled around, Spencer thanked all the atoms in the observable universe that Y/N had a break during his class. Within the first ten minutes, he’d managed to accidentally kick himself out of his own meeting and then somehow lose track of the screenshare button.

“No one can see me and I don’t know what happened to the screenshare option. It was there and now it’s just… gone,” he told Y/N.

She leaned over his desk, eyes tracking over the screen and mouse clicking around the desktop. “How in the world did you manage to block your camera?”

“I don’t know! I didn’t even touch it!” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I don’t understand how it’s even possible to be this bad at this.”

Y/N bumped his knee with her own, pulling up his camera settings and preferences. “Relax. You can’t be good at everything. It’s a refreshing reminder that you’re a mere mortal like the rest of us.” With a few rapid clicks, Y/N unblocked his camera and located the screenshare bar. “There. Crisis averted. I’m just going to share your whole screen in case you want to toggle between application windows. So just be aware that they’ll be able to see everything. And then you just click here when you’re ready to stop sharing.”

When Y/N turned her head toward him to check that he understood, Spencer grabbed the side of her face and caught her lips in a kiss. Y/N smiled against his mouth, heart speeding up as he traced the seam of her mouth with his tongue.

“Um, Dr. Reid? Your um— your camera’s working now.”

Spencer nearly fell out of his chair, his cheeks about the color of the Leave Meeting icon. Y/N dropped her head, debating whether she wanted to laugh or let the earth open up and swallow her whole. She ultimately decided to compose herself, stepping back and giving a little wave to the sea of tiny, grinning zoom faces before slinking out of frame, miming sorry to one very mortified professor.

⧭⧭⧭

“Would you want to be our mystery reader next week?” Y/N asked, bookmarking the page of her novel and reclining back in bed. “You just have to pick a story to read. Oh, and think of four clues about your identity to give the kiddos.”

Spencer raised his eyebrow, continuing to read. “Any story?”

Y/N laughed. “Well they’re six, so maybe hold off on the Chaucer and Bradbury for now. A picture book would be preferable.”

“Did you know that the first picture book, Orbis Sensualium Pictus, or Visible World in Pictures, was published in 1658?” He looked up from his own book. “Czech educator John Amos Comenius wanted to create a book that would be accessible to children of all levels of ability. The educational theories he explored are actually still in practice in the field of early childhood education.” He turned toward her from his spot under the covers. “For example, when you have your students make a hissing sound and slither their arms when they produce the sound represented by the letter s? Comenius included an alphabet chart with various animal and human sounds representing each letter. He wanted to demonstrate that the incorporation of multiple senses could help increase learning.”

“I guess you don’t fix what isn’t broken,” Y/N mused. “300 years later, and we’re still using the same methods.”

“362, actually,” Spencer corrected.

She gave him a look. “Maybe we can save the Comenius for another time.”

“The genre of children’s literature encompasses some of the most profound and philosophical story telling of all time.” Spencer returned his attention to his reading.

“...So is that a yes?”

Spencer smiled. “I’ve got a book in mind.”

“And clues,” Y/N reminded him, snuggling down under the covers and reopening her book. “We need some fun clues, mystery reader.”

…

“Kindergarten, we have a very special mystery reader this week. Oh man, are you ready for the first clue? The mystery reader loves jell-o! Raise your little hand if you love jell-o, too. Okay, kindergarten, I see you! Lots of jell-o lovers in the house.”

…

“Okay, clue number two! Our mystery reader works as a community helper— remember we learned about all different kinds of community helpers; firefighters, nurses, police officers. But if the mystery reader could be anything, they’d want to be a cowboy! How cool is that?”

...

“Clue number three for our mystery reader!” Y/N sucked in a gasp. “You guys. The mystery reader can do magic. Oh my goodness, I am so excited for Friday,” she sing-songed. “Will they show us a trick? Hmmm, I don’t know. Maybe if you ask nicely.”

…

“Okay, my friends, the last clue. The mystery reader loves reading. They read every day, and they’ve been reading since 1983! Yes, that was a very long time ago.”

⧭⧭⧭

“Okay, any last guesses about who our mystery reader might be?” Y/N questioned.

“I think it’s your dad,” a little voice called out.

Spencer made a choking noise from where he sat, slightly off camera. Y/N laughed. “The mystery reader is decidedly not my dad, Keyshon. Remember I showed you guys the picture of him— my dad’s a farmer, so he’s kind of already a cowboy.” She clapped her hands together. “Okay, without further ado, drumroll please... Our mystery reader is…” Y/N pushed her desk chair out of frame to allow Spencer to roll in, holding her hands out. “Spencer!”

He gave a little wave, smoothing his hair, suddenly painfully self-aware and nervous about the opinions of two dozen six-year-olds. “Hi guys.”

“You’re the boy on Ms. Y/L/N’s phone.”

“Your hair is so fluffy!”

“Do you have a cowboy hat?”

“I like your sweater.”

“Can you really do magic?”

“What’s your favorite jell-o?”

“Whoa, okay, let’s remember our mute button,” Y/N, holding up her index card. “I promise you’ll get to ask Spencer all your questions after he reads the story.”

Spencer smiled at the excited faces beaming through the screen. “Yes, I’m on Ms. Y/L/N’s phone; I don’t own a cowboy hat, yet; yes, I really can do magic; and the red jell-o is my favorite.”

Y/N watched with interest as Spencer pulled out his book. He’d been secretive about his choice, so she was as curious as her students.

“This is one of my favorite stories. It’s written by Munro Leaf, and illustrated by Robert Lawson. It’s The Story of Ferdinand.” Spencer held the cover up to the camera. “Ferdinand is the bull here on the cover. This story was written in 1935, which was a long time ago! Okay are you ready?” Spencer looked out on a sea of thumbs up, turning the page to the beginning of the story. “Once upon a time in Spain, there was a bull, and his name was Ferdinand.”

Y/N smiled as she listened to Spencer read each page, recounting the story of the peaceful bull. He was an excellent storyteller, changing the inflection and expression of his voice to match each sentence. He held each page up for just the right amount of time, panning it so her students could see each detail of the black and white pictures. He added his own wonderings and exclamations here and there, and her students were decidedly enthralled. Her heart ached at how comfortable he was, how natural this was for him. She rested her chin in her hand, trying to keep her mind in the present— ignoring the persistent little mental image of Spencer as a dad.

“So they had to take Ferdinand home. And for all I know, he is sitting there still, under his favorite cork tree, smelling the flowers just quietly. He is very happy… And that’s The Story of Ferdinand.” Spencer closed the book with a soft smile. “I love this story. Ferdinand is a very special bull. What do you think makes him so special?”

“Ferdinand didn’t fight,” a little voice piped up.

“Yes!” Spencer agreed. “He practiced pacifism in the face of the persistent, ingrained militarism of his country’s culture.”

Y/N placed a hand on Spencer’s knee and gave a quick squeeze. “Right, Ferdinand chose not to fight, even though everybody else he knew wanted to.” Y/N winked at him before turning back to the screen full of kids. “All his friends thought he was kind of weird, but he just really wanted to hang out in the shade and smell the flowers, huh? Sounds pretty good to me.”

“He wasn’t bothered that the other bulls thought he was strange for wanting to be peaceful,” Spencer added. “Sometimes being different can be a good thing. The Story of Ferdinand reminds me that it’s okay to be yourself, even if other people think you’re weird.” His eyes met Y/N’s. “Because there will always be people who love and appreciate you for who you are.”

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x you #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds imagine #spencer reid fanfiction #criminals minds self insert #dr spencer reid #professor spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #criminal minds #homoose writes

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the-captains-mop · 3 years

Note

wb a ff in which max come out to his family?

Out of the Closet || Max thunderman

A/N: Hope you like it, let me know what you think. I have a 2 Max and Allison fics coming up and a few others. December is pretty much gonna be just Lab Rats: Elite Force so look forward to that.

Quarantine update, was only out for one day before mom got tested when she went to the hospital yesterday and put us right back in again. She's got covid pneumonia. 10 more days out of work. Let's hope I've still got my job 🤞

----

He was felt nauseous calling his first family meeting. He had to get it out in the open. He was so sick hiding who he was. He cupped his hand over his mouth, "I'm calling a family meeting!" He yelled.

Phoebe was the first one to enter the room from the kitchen eying him suspiciously, "What did you do?" She asked.

"Just sit, Dweebe," Max huffed glaring at his sister. He didn't blame her suspicion, he had been nervous the past couple of days trying to work up to coming out to his family.

She rolled her eyes but sat down. Billy sped down the stairs with Nora not far behind and sat on either side of Phoebe. Chloe teleported with the parents who seemed just as confused as his twin.

"Max, you never call family meetings," Barb said wrapping an arm around her son.

He rolled his eyes and leaned out of her grip, "Just sit, Mom." He didn't want her to hold him yet, just in case it all goes south. He wanted that distance.

They took their seats, whispering to each other shooting looks to Phoebe.

Max immediately wanted to chicken out and hide away in the safety of his lair. Now that he was staring at his family it didn't seem as appealing. What's just another secret?

No, he had to do this. They deserved to know and he just wants to finally be able to bring a guy home. He shoved his panic aside and focused on getting it out.

He clapped, "Now that I'm a hero, I figured I would tell you something I've hidden for years. Its nothing bad, its just something I was absolutely terrified about bringing to light," he started.

He hid it well, fake it to you make it. He had know he was gay since he was in 7th grade. Something thats ridiculously painful to hide. At the time that wasn't that accepted so he'd flirt with girls. He'd take being a "player" than being gay.

He knew his parents didn't care, they had gay sup friends, but he wasn't sure how they'd take it knowing one of their children was playing for the other team. He had sneaking suspicions though that Billy was bisexual, so it could be a couple of years before Billy brings a guy home.

"Max, sharing his secrets?" Nora said sarcastically.

Max fake laughed before glaring at her, "shut it little bow peep."

Nora glared adjusting her bow. Max wrapped his arms around himself and took a few deep breaths trying to get the nerve to get those two words out.

"I, uh..." Max tried but it wasn't coming out. He closed his eyes trying to keep his calm, "I'm-"

Phoebe stood up and walked over to Max and reach out her hand and Max flinched, she stopped where she was before continuing slower and made contact with his shoulder. Max wanted to just collapse in her arms and just cry.

"Is Max okay?" Chloe asked. Looking up to Barb and Hank.

Phoebe wrapped an arm around him and he tried so hard to keep the tears at bay but they rolled down his cheeks in defiance.

"Max, whatever is going on in your head right now, just now that no one is going to judge you," Phoebe said.

"I'm gay!" He blurted out and covered his mouth.

Phoebe wrapped him up in a hug and he gave in and cried into her shoulder. She held him tight and tucked her head into his neck, "I'm proud of you, Max." She said making max cried harder.

"What's gay?" Billy and Chloe asked.

"It means he likes boys," Nora answered.

He pulled himself away from his sister and looked at his family. Barb seemed okay with the news but Hank looked constipated.

"I... I realized in 7th grade. I knew it wasn't something that was okay so I hid it. It wasn't hard. You weren't paying much attention to me back then anyway," he said. He wiped his cheeks, and looked to his sister who was giving him a smile, encouraging him to continue. "So that's it. I'm gay. I figured its time to know." He said shifting awkwardly.

"You're still my baby," Barb said getting up and hugging him.

He wrapped his arms around her tight and hank walked over, "Son, I can't pretend I understand it, but I'm glad you told us."

Max turned and pulled his father into a group hug. Billy and Nora fell into his side and Chloe worked her way into the middle of the hug.

Phoebes arms wrapped around his waist and rested her head on his shoulder. He felt a huge weight lifted from his chest.

Taglist: @almightygrasshopper @jeongject @ladym-17 @bby01boi

#the thundermans #max thunderman #phoebe thunderman #nora thunderman #billy thunderman #barb thunderman #hank thunderman

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foli-vora · 3 years

Text

happily ever after

A/N: inspiration hits in the most bizarre of places for me lately. I do apologise for my grammar/spelling—I’m writing this half drunk in the car on the way home from a night out in the city hahah. I’ll check it in the morning. (disclaimer so people don’t think I’m not taking the pandemic seriously: where I live in Australia, we’ve achieved a ‘covid-normal’ after a very long, very intense lockdown - everything is mostly back to normal, or as close to, as we’re down to 2 active cases and they’re both in quarantine)

Pairing: Marcus Pike x f!reader

Warnings: alcohol, reader’s drunk, Marcus is a complete sweetheart that would absolutely look after you like the certified soft boi he is. I just want him to look after me okay??

“Mmm... Mar—Marcus! Baby—my love... I—fuck—you’re so pretty.”

His chuckle is warm in return, and full of fond amusement. You whine gently when it floods your ears, dancing a little more on your aching feet. God, you missed him. When was the last time you saw him? Four... five? hours ago? Much too long for your drunken mind to wrap it’s head around.

“Are you ready to come home?”

You gasp, leaning on the railing outside the club, “Will you be there?”

He laughs again, and you hear his keys jingle in the background as he picks them up, followed by the soft thud of a door closing. “I will.”

You’ve been together for almost two years, living together for one and half of those years, but that seemed to be yet another fact your mind was having trouble remembering at this point.

“Then yessss. I miss you. Do—do you know that?”

“No,” he replies softly, smiling as he slides into his car. Of course he knew that. He knew you loved him more than anything, but hearing you drunkenly slur it so sweetly just had his heart fluttering in his chest.

“Well you should know that! That’s my—that’s my fault. I should tell you every day. I will. From right now, I’ll—tell you that you’re pretty and that I—that I miss you and that—shit—I feel sick.”

“Hold on for me, honey. I’ll be there soon.”

“Oh yay! I’m gonna give you a big, big kiss.”

“Yeah?”

“Huge. Um, honey, can we please get food?”

Your heart beats wildly when he chuckles again.

—

There’s a step at your door.

Since when was there a step?

It was lucky Marcus had such quick reflexes - you weren’t even halfway to the floor before he’s snatching you up, arms quickly wrapping around you and saving you for from meeting the hard ground. Your stomach starts to hurt from giggling so hard.

His hands are on you when you eventually make it to and stumble up the stairs, staying just one step below you the entire way just in case you slip, which you do. Several times.

He eventually gets you into the bedroom, hands gentle as they lead you into the room and perched on the end of the bed.

“Come here, baby.” He kneels in front of you, hands reaching for your ankles and gently removing the strappy heels from your feet. His fingers dig into the sore flesh and you groan quietly, falling back onto the mattress and closing your eyes in bliss. Whoever invented heels needs a serious talking to...

“Roll,” his hands gently ease you on your side and you hum tiredly as he pulls down your zipper and gently works your dress off of your frame. You’re probably making it hard for him to undress you, laying on the bed and unmoving, heavy with drunken exhaustion, but if you are, he doesn’t comment on it or get impatient with you.

The patience continues, even when you put up a half fight when he tries to wrestle a t-shirt onto you. He pins you easily, of course, and at your playful cry of defeat, he melts over you with a smile and kisses your cheeks while you laugh hysterically at the feeling of his beard scratching your skin.

The pillows feel fucking heavenly when you eventually move yourself around on the mattress at his gentle coaxing. What were they made out of - marshmallow? He laughs at your comment while pulling the sheets up, and tucks them softly around your frame before perching himself on the edge of the bed beside you.

He starts to dig around your side table, making a quiet noise of success when he finds whatever he was looking for. He pulls out your makeup remover and some cotton pads, and gets to work, tongue peaking out and brows pinching in concentration when he soaks the pads, careful not to make a spill.

You smile sleepily at him as he rubs a pad across your skin, softly rubbing at your eye until it turns black from mascara. He repeats it with the other eye and a fresh pad, before going once, twice, and once more for good measure, around your face and making sure it was thoroughly clean.

Lifting a heavy hand, you trail your fingers along his neatly trimmed beard, chest tightening when he turns his face into your touch and kisses your palm, curved nose brushing lightly against your skin.

How could one person make your heart hurt in such a wonderful way?

“I love you.”

He grins shyly, brown eyes gazing at you softly and tearing at your insides with a flood of overwhelming adoration. “I love you, too.”

“I’m so sleepy.”

“I know, honey, but first—hydrate.” He holds a glass out and grins at your scowl of disgust, gently pulling at the blankets you had hidden your face with. “I know, but you’ll thank me in the morning.”

“You’re lucky you’re so pretty, Agent Pike.” You grumble, moving to sit up, and opening your mouth when he brings the glass to your lips. It’s cool, and surprisingly exactly what you need? It’s gone before you even realise.

You don’t even realise you’re eyes are closed until a warm body is wrapping around yours, and then you’re blinking tiredly up at Marcus as he makes himself comfortable cuddled up to you, fluffing his pillow before letting his head rest on it with a content sigh.

“Hey,” you whisper, catching his attention immediately. “Guess what?”

“What?” He whispers back, fingers softly caressing along the side of your face and across your nose. Your legs tangle with his under the sheets, and you soak in the immediate heat his body provides, melting into the soft mattress and the feeling of strong arms winding around your waist.

“We’re gonna live happily ever after.” Your eyes close and you pass out instantly, completely oblivious to the look of utter delight that brightens his face. He cuddles you closer, lips pressing gently to your forehead as he watches your face relax and breathing deepen.

“We sure are.”

Tags: @anu-simps @seasonschange-butpeopledont @withasideofmeg @you-got-me-starry-eyed

#marcus pike x reader #marcus pike x f!reader #marcus pike x you #the mentalist #the mentalist fic #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal

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lifes-better-on-saturn · 3 years

Text

Birthday Girl - Chris Evans

REQUEST

The reader (me ) is dating chris evans, and its the readers birtday, and chris evans is spoiling her, taking to the hair salon and to the nail salon , and the trows a party for her, and he asks her to marry him, and a couple months later the reader is asked to been on say yes to the dress and alot of fluff please

@maximeevansblog

——

A/N: It took way too long but here we go. Definitely not very well edited. Hope you like.

WARNINGS- pure fluff, tiny tiny illusion to smut, marriage.

Hope you enjoy :)

———————————-

“Babe, wake up.” You groaned as you rolled over, waving your hand in the direction of the voice. You heard a husky chuckle, before a pair of soft lips pressed to the top of your hand. “Get up, baby. I made breakfast, well brunch.” Your eyes shot open at the mention of food and you turned to see you handsome boyfriend of 4 years towering over the bed with a tray in his hands.

You sat up rubbing the sleep from your eyes as the tray was placed over your lap. You looked at the food before gazing up at Chris.

“Happy Birthday, baby.” You smiled as he leaned down and pressed his soft lips against yours.

“Thank you, honey.”

“No problem, pretty girl.Now eat up and after you finish that, we’re taking a shower and i’m taking you out, ok?” He said as he put his hands on his hips. You nodded before tilting your head up to receive one last kiss which he happily obliged and then you begun your meal.

Less than 15 minutes later you were up and out of your bed standing in your morning glory of a bra and short shorts. Chris’ large hands wrapped around your hips lightly pushing you towards the adjacent bathroom.

“Make sure you just don’t wash your hair, ok.” He smiled as you turned you around. Cocking an eyebrow you smirked.

“What’s up your sleeve?” You eyed him up as he moved closer. He ran his hand up and down your arm lovingly while staring into your eyes.

“Nothing. Just wanna spoil my special girl. Now go, we gotta be outta here in 20 minutes. Go.” He kissed your cheek and spun you around, giving your ass a slap before gently pushing you forward.

-time skip-

20 minutes later you were in the car with Chris, your favourite songs echoed through the car loudly and you both yelled the lyrics.

Eventually you pulled up out the front of a hair dressers, a very expensive some mind you. Chris turned to you and winked before making his way out of the car and to your side to let you out.

“Baby, what are we doing here?” You looked into his ocean blue eyes as they gleamed with happiness,

“I Told you i wanna spoil you. Now come on.” He grabbed you hand and pulled you into the salon. The receptionist smiled and ushered you through a doorway to a chair. Chris smiled at you before waving goodbye.

“I’ll be back when your done, love.” He blew you a kiss and made his way out to the car. You sat in the chair as a platinum blonde lady walked through stopping at your chair.

“Hey there darlin, my names Christy and I’ll be doing your hair today.”

You smiled as she directed you to another room with cushy chairs and sinks.

-and another time skip-

Two relaxing hours later you looked at yourself in the mirror in front of you, the stylist beaming ear to ear as she rested her hands on the back of your chair.

Not only had she magnificently done your hair but also your make up leaving you with a gorgeous natural glam look.

“Do you like it?” She asked as she continued to smooth out your hair.

“I love it, thankyou so much. How much do i owe you?” You asked as she led you to the reception area.

“I’m afraid, that’s already been taken care of.” You turned around just to meet that handsome hunk of a man, you called your boyfriend leaning against the desk.

He moves over to you leaning in for a kiss but You quickly turn your head away so his lips meet your cheek. He looks at you confused before you smile before pointing to your lips.

“Lipstick.” He chuckles, kissing just beside your mouth and moving away and saying goodbye to the hair dresser and the receptionist.

You made you way back to the car hoping in and seeing a dry cleaners bag in the back.

“What’s that?” You turn to grab it before chris grabs your hand pulling it back to him.

“Gotta wait for that baby.” You playfully scowled at him before settling into your seat.

You drove about 5 minutes up the road to another cute, -expensive- salon, only this one being a nail salon.

“Second last stop, babyyyy.” He smiled pulling you out of the car once again.

You walked up to the receptionist, again the girl immediately recognising Chris.

“Ahhh, Christopher! Your here, come on through.” The lady exclaimed as she hurried you both through the doorway into a small, private room, with a nail technician getting her tools ready.

“Ah! Hi guys! I’ll be going your nails today, Mrs Evans, if you’d like to take a seat just here and Mr Evans there’s chair there if you’d like to sit.” You looked back at Chris as you moved to sit down stunned by the names. You felt like telling her you weren’t Mrs Evans but secretly you loved the ring it had and the butterflies it sent up your stomach.

“I would love to sit, but i’ve got a few more things to take care of.” Chris spoke running his hand along your shoulders and leaning down to kiss you.

“I’ll be back baby.” With that he walked out the door. You smiled as the lady started on your nails.

Little did you know Chris was going back and forth between the house during your appointments getting things ready for tonight.

After this past year all Chris wanted to do was spoil you. Covid and quarantine did not treat you well and it took a toll on both of you, but now he could doing something so he’d secretly sent out invites to some of your closest friends and your family including his inviting them to celebrate you and if everything goes right, your engagement. Chris had had the ring from about the 6 month mark and You’re now four years in and he couldn’t be more sure.

He walked through the house and into the back yard to see he mum, Scott, his sisters and a few of his friends all assisting in putting up lights and setting tables. Before he walked outside he made his way to your shared bedroom grabbing the roses and rose petals. Before he laid them down he placed a black silk dress with some black crystal strap heels on the bed before sprinkling some pink and red roses over the bed and the floor leading to the bedroom and your bed.

Smiling at his work he made his way back towards his back yard where he was immediately ambushed by his niece and nephews. He walked over to the group with one of them in his arms, leaning over and placing a kiss on his mums cheek.

“Ma, this looks great. Really great.” He smiled as the child in his arms was taken.

“No problem. Anything for that gorgeous girl of yours. Now where is she. Is it almost time?” Lisa was definitely very very excited. Almost more excited than Chris.

“Yes, Yes, ma i gotta get her in about... 10 minutes.” Checking his watch, he ran back up the stairs muttering a quick ‘i’ll be back’ and changing into some plaid pants, a white shirt and a brown jacket.

“Okayyy, i’m going to get the birthday girl. Remember be real quiet when we get back.” He smiled as everyone waved good bye.

10 minutes later you smiled admiring your freshly done nails. You looked over as the bell of the door rang seeing Chris walk in sunnies on all dressed up.

You got up and met him half way, holding your hand out and wiggling your fingers.

“Damn, babyyy.” He smiled lifting your hand closer to his face before pressing a kiss to it. He smiled up at you looking over his glasses, blue eyes gleaming. “So pretty, honey.” He smiled once more before quickly paying the bill and waving to the ladies.

The whole way home you watched as his leg bounced and his hand wrapped and unwrapped itself from yours.

You pulled up to the house and got out of the car, Chris quickly led you toward your bedroom. He rest his hand on the knob giving you a smirk before swinging the door open.

You let jaw dropped as you saw the flowers and black dress resting on the bed.

“Oh, Chris.” You moved to the dress smiling as you lifted it. Turning you smiled as you watched chris rock back and forth a shy smile.

“Wanted to spoil you baby. Now put it on. Got one last surprise.” He smiled leaving the room and closing the door behind him.

Smiling you slipped from your jeans and shirt into the dress. You smiled as you checked your -frankly- gorgeous figure out in the mirror before a loud knock interrupted your admiring. You called out to come in and in walked Scott all nice in a button up and jeans.

“Scott! What are you doing here!?” You smiled as he enveloped you in a hug.

“I came to see my favourite girl!! and Chris made me come get you and bring you down stairs.” Stepping back he gave you a quick once over before grabbing your hand making your twirl.

“You look gorgeous babyyy. I love it!” You smiled and giggles before you were lead out the room and towards the back yard. Before you got to the door you were instructed to close your eyes.

“Good god, what are you doing to me.” Scott laughed and lead to carefully to the back step.

Silently he stepped away from you to stand in front of you along with the rest of your friends and family.

“Umm, Scott can i take my hands away now??” You chuckled and before long two strong hands were lifting your own off your face.

As your eyes adjusted to the light Chris stepped in front of you with everyone else as everyone yelled “Surprise!” and “Happy Birthday!”’s

You jumped and laughed as you looked at the sea of people.

Chris slowly walked towards you before whispering “happy birthday” and placing a soft kiss on your lips.

“Did you do this?” You asked. He grabbed your hands smiling and turned to everyone else.

“Yes i did. Do you like it?” For the first time since you stepped outside you looked around seeing the fairly lights everywhere small tables, and the couches, blankets and cushions for everyone.

“Baby i love it. Thankyou so much.” You smiled leaving a long, lingering kiss on his plump pink lips.

Soon as your moment was over you moved over to say hi and thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes and for turning up.

About an hour and a half later you were standing around talking to some old friends when a glass clinking echoed around the yard. You turned to see Chris standing on a chair.

“‘Scuse me! Can i have your attention!” Everyone turned as he cleared his throat one last time.

“Just wanted to make a quick speech. Y/N, Baby, if you could come here please.” You quickly made you way over to where he stood now on the ground. He took your hand before turning to everyone.

“This woman is one of the kindest, most loving, most beautiful women i’ve ever met and had the pleasure of being with. She is forever teaching me new things and i’m so deeply in love her for everything she does for me and my family,” he looked you in the eyes smiling, “I want to keep this woman in my life for the rest of my life so i guess what i’m trying to say is..” he let go of your hand, his sliding into his pocket and pulling out a little velvet box. You eyes widened and your hand flew to your face. He smiled nervously as he slowly lowered himself to one knee.

“Y/N, baby, will you stay by my side forever. Will you put up with me and my bullshit for the rest of our lives. But most of all, will you please make me the luckiest and happiest man on this earth, and marry me?” Tears pooled in both your eyes as your voice got caught in your throat. Not trusting your voice you nodded, your head almost detaching from your neck.

You bent down slightly cupping the side of his face and pressing your lips to his in a feverish kiss, his free hand coming up to cup your face in return. You pulled back whispering a yes as he stood and pressed your foreheads together. Looking down he slipped the diamond onto your finger. You smiled down at it before locking eyes with your now-fiancé.

“I love you so much, Chris. I can’t think of anything better, than spending the rest of my life with you.” You smiled kissing him one last time.

Neither of you had noticed Scott with his phone out filming everything. Turning to everyone he grabbed your hand swinging it in the air and shouting “She said yes!!!” You laughed and everyone cheered quickly moving to congratulate you two.

The rest of the night went past in a blur Chris barely leaving your side and you barely leaving his as everyone drank and celebrated both your and your engagement.

Eventually the night ended about 12.30 am, everyone heading to bed, you with your fiancé. Man you’d never get sick of saying that.

-9 Months later-

you walked into the boutique, Randy meeting you, your best friends and mum at the entrance, camera crews lurking behind.

“Hello, hello!!!! Y/N! How are you!?” You smiled giving him a hug.

“I’m good! How are you?” Answer with a “fantastic” and you introduced Randy to your mum and best friend before be less through the lobby to the rooms with all the dresses.

“Okay, so, what were we thinking?” Randy clapped his hands together.

“Umm so i was thinking something princess-y like a ball gown, but a strapless, you know??” You said as you avoided the cameras.

Being Chris’ girlfriend turned fiancé you were used to cameras but it still made you nervous sometimes.

“Okay, we’ve got a perfect range for you, if you come with me we’ll chose two or three and go back to the change rooms and try them on.” he placed a hand on your lower back leading you away from your family.

About 10 minutes later you walked out in a plain white ball gown -https://pin.it/5cuCPCq- with a slit for your leg. Standing on the podium you looked at yourself in the mirror. It was a gorgeous dress but, just didn’t feel right.

You turned to your guests and splayed out your hands beside you. You mother clasped her hands over her mouth murmuring how beautiful you look. While your best friend looked at you with a proud smile.

“So what do you think?” Your mum smiled as you turned back to look at yourself.

“I like it. It’s gorgeous, but it just doesn’t quite feel right.” Your cocked your head to the side as you surveyed yourself.

Chris would love this but this was for you.

Randy smiled. “Well it looks gorgeous but we still have more to try.” Once again he help out his hand helping you down before walking you back to the room.

You tried on one more that wasn’t right before trying on the last one. As soon as you put it on, you felt your body light up. You looks down and smoothed the skirt.

Holy Shit

You walked out, back to the stand immediately turning to your mum. Her hands flew to her mouth covering it as tears sprung to her eyes. Before you teared up yourself you looked to your best friend who was nodding furiously.

“My Goodness! It’s gorgeous!!!” Your best friend gushed as you smiled widely, so wide it felt as if your cheeks would split.

You turned to the mirror getting proper view of yourself.

“Sooooo,” Randy’s voice broke you from your thoughts. Your turned to see his equally bright and smiling figure. “Might this be a yes?” His hands clasped together and pressed to his lips. Turning back for one last once over you nodded.

“Yeah. It’s a big yes!” You smiled as everyone rushed up to you hugging what they could.

Randy and the assistant’s clapped as you twirled in celebration.

-3 months later.-

The dress was perfect, the ceremony was perfect, everything was perfect.

The wedding was everything you could have dreamed of from the forest ceremony and the reception.

Lights lined the trees and the under cover canopies. Tables littered these canopies flowers and napkins with the writing Mr&Mrs Evans embroidered on them.

Everyone spent the night dancing and laughing and celebrating you. The place was filled with close friends and family and a couple of A-listers including good ole Sebastian and Anthony, Scarlett and Robert and more.

Once the night was over Chris carried you bridal style (lol) through the threshold of your already shared home, before walking you to the room and placing you down.

Chris continued to worship you all night from small light kisses to consummating the marriage (wink wink) all night.

To say you were the happiest you’ve ever been was an understatement, and this was going to be the rest of your life.

Nothing could be better that this. Now Mrs Evans. Damn.

——————————

Ta-da!! Finished

Thanks for ready, go check out my other stuff :)

(master list is in the works lol)

#chris evans #christopher robert evans #chris evans imagines #chris evans smut #fluff #smut #chris evans x reader #chris evans oneshots #chris evans x reader smut #steve rogers #steve rogers imagines #sebastian stan #anthony mackie #scarlett johanssen #robert downey jr #i love him #imagines

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