#i actually drew this at 5am and then forgot about it

[toothpaste-for-the-skin]

World’s WORST Comp Player Throws the THIRD Scrim in a ROW! And more at 8!

[darklymelanatedstories]

Oh shxt I forgot!! (ft Vegeta&Bulma)

"So what do you think, sir?"

Vegeta gave a small smile and a nod. "It's perfect." He took one more glance at it before covering it up. Vegeta had been planning this for a while. He wanted this to be the best no threatening surprise she'd have that year.

After he's quick check up on his surprise he headed home. When he entered he was greeted by silence, so he assumed all the lazy bums he loved were still asleep. Not that it really mattered. It was 5am anyway. He crept into the room him and Bulma shared and couldn't help but smile when he saw her peacefully resting with drool running down her chin and messy hair and all. How could he love so many perfect imperfections.

Although Bulma wasn't much of an early bird, he did know that sleep was important to the woman so he decided to let her be.

"Hmm, she's been working hard yesterday on her projects and improving the gravity chamber.",Vegeta thought. "Just as well."

Vegeta moved her hair away then kissed her forehead before going down to the kitchen. He tried making her breakfast but ended up with a messy kitchen and broken eggs. Now he had to remind Bulma to buy eggs again. He was sure he made such a noise that he woke the whole neighborhood.

Trunks walked into the room and gave his father puzzled a look.

"Dad..?"

"Don't!",Vegeta exclaimed. Trunks raised his hands up slowly and backed away. Not wanting to be there during his father's frustration.

"Wait boy.",he said. Trunks immediately stopped. "Yes dad?"

"Clean this place up before you mother sees.",Vegeta ordered as he turned to leave. "I'll owe you one."

"Too late." The two jumped at the sudden voice. Vegeta slowly turned towards his wife.

"What the hell happened here?",Bulma questioned as her eyes scanned her ruined kitchen.

"Uh, you see. I was just trying to make you breakfast.",Vegeta explained, a bit embarrassed at his predicament. Bulma looked shocked, her eyes widened. "Really? That's so unlike you." She crossed her arms and raised her brow. "What are you up to? What's the occasion?"

Vegeta furrowed his eyebrows. "You would know. It's a special day today."

Bulma looked like she was even more confused. "What are you talking about?"

"You really don't remember do you?",Vegeta's expression contorted to slight anger. "I can't believe you. After I actually made an effort this time."

"Vegeta." Bulma carefully approached him and attempted to rest her hand on his shoulder. He immediately shrugged her off.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine!",he yelled and stomped out.

"What's he so mad about? He's the one that wrecked my kitchen."

Trunks held his chin and thought. He knew there was something special about today.

"Isn't today your anniversary thing?"

Bulma gasped as she realised. How could she forget? And how did Vegeta remember?

"Oh shxt I forgot!!",she muttered then quickly cupped her hands over her mouth as soon as she remembered that Trunks was in the room.

"Don't worry mom. I've heard that word before.",he assured her.

"What!?"

"Nothing.",Trunks quickly walked out of the room. "I think I hear Bulla crying. I better check on her."

Bulma groaned. "Oh, how could I forget our anniversary? I always bug Vegeta about it."

~

"You forgot your anniversary!?" Chi Chi stared at Bulma with shock. "It's not like you." But what shocked her more was the fact that Vegeta even tried cooking.

"Yeah, I was so busy with my current machines that I forgot completely."

Goku walked into the room, he actually heard enough of their conversation to know what was going on.

"Why don't you just say you were pretending to forget to surprise him?" The two woman stared at Goku like he was crazy.

"That's not a bad idea, Goku."

"Yeah. I've used that a bunch of ti–"he stopped as soon as Chi Chi sent him a glare. "I guess I'm just full of good ideas."

"Anyway gotta go. Bye Chi Chi, Bulma.",Goku said as he rushed out of the house.

"Grrr. Goku!" Chi Chi groaned then turned to her blue haired friend. Bulma got up excitedly, hitting her fist into her palm as a plan formed in her genius head.

"I got it!"

"You're seriously gonna do it?"

"Well maybe...but I'm thinking of getting him a large buffet of food. You know how these Saiyans love to eat."

"I guess. But just hope it's better than Vegeta's gift so he won't be too mad."

"I always give the best gifts."

~

"Hey Vegeta." Goku said as he descended next to the Saiyan prince.

"What do you want Kakarot?"

"Happy anniversary." He opened his arms attempting to hug Vegeta but he ended up with a hand on the face pushing him back onto the ground.

"Doesn't feel happy.",he grumbled. "How could she forget. After all my planning."

"Wow. What did you plan?"

"None of your business!"

Goku gave him a sheepish smile as he crossed his legs and scratched the back of his head. They sat in silence for a while as Goku looked up at the sky.

"Well anyway. I say you should still go ahead with it. I mean think of all the times she did amazing things for you. I bet she'd really appreciate this."

Vegeta just grunted. Goku took that as a bit of a sign and got up to leave.

"Well that's all I wanted to say. I better get going. I promised Piccolo I'd train with him."

And with that Goku took off. Vegeta thought for a moment about what he said.

"Not a bad idea."

~

The sun just started setting and Vegeta waited outside in his maroon suit that he didn't really like wearing but it was a special day and it did make him look good.

He had told Goku to bring her around and was getting impatient. What was taking so long?

~

"Goku. I have to get everything ready."

Goku tilted his head. "What exactly are you doing? Planning a party?",he said as he watched people take food and party supplies out of a bunch of vans. "Because you know Vegeta's not a huge fan of those." He chuckled.

Bulma hung her head. "Ugh, I know. I've been so stressed that I'm not even thinking clearly."

"How bout you just bring the food in and come with me?"

"Fine." Bulma told the workers to put everything back except the food. Once that was done, Goku scooped her up and took her where he agreed to meet Vegeta.

~

The sun had set and finally the two have arrived.

"About time.",Vegeta mumbled.

Goku let Bulma down and took off, leaving the two.

"Vegeta look I–"

She was cut off when Vegeta placed his finger on her lips then lifted up her chin. This was the first time she actually saw him properly or her surroundings.

"Nice suit.",she said. Looking around with awe she couldn't help the feelings of excitement and love clearly showing in her body language.

She was in her garden which was beautifully decorated. The lights placed around the flowers lit it up beautifully, even making the pond sparkle. There were fireflies bringing another mix of light into the jars they were jailed in. It reminded Bulma of when she'd go camping with her sister and father.

"Wow." Without saying another word, or any word since she got there, he took her hand and led her to the gazebo in the middle of the garden.

There was some of Bulma's favourite foods and a large bottle of her favourite champagne in a silver bucket of ice.

What drew her attention was the object concealed under a white tarp.

"Vegeta–"

"Before you say anything.",he walked up to the objects. "I know I shouldn't have gotten angry this morning and that you've been stressed out lately. I'm sorry."

"It's fine Vegeta."

He took hold of the tarp. "I also hate doing this sappy stuff so..." He dramatically pulled it off. "Happy anniversary, my love."

Bulma was left speechless. She got closer and Vegeta watched with a smile on her face.

"What do you think?",he asked but he knew she loved it.

"I had it done by that artist you love so much."

In front of Bulma was a beautiful painting of her and Vegeta on their wedding day.

She trapped Vegeta in an embrace and he wrapped his arms around her waist as he pulled her closer.

"I love you."

"Love you too.",he mumbled.

He pulled out of the hug and pulled out a chair for her in the gazebo.

He looked at the amount of food he had prepared for tonight and frowned.

"There's no way this is satisfying me. Damn, now I'm starving for the woman",he thought. He's hunger must've shown on his face because Bulma gave him a knowing look and winked.

"Oh I got that covered." She took her phone out and dialled a number.

"Bring it in guys."

In a matter of seconds people were bringing so much food that there wasn't any space on the table.

Soon Vegeta was stuffing his face.

"Have I told you lately how much I love you?",he said in between chews.

Bulma giggled then looked over at her paintings.

"Yeah, you even showed me."

Art by @lem0uro

Check her out ppl. She's amazing.

♡♡♡♡♡

[jaskiersvalley]

I really liked your Vet/Firefighter AU! Dou you have headcanons or a scenario with Lambert and Eskel "scolding" Cahir for being reckless (again) and this time actually ending up in the hospital for some time?

This prompt has been on my mind for a while. All I can say is that you speak to my heart Nonnie. This is perfect hurt/comfort territory. Thank you for being such a wonderful enabler!

A follow on from the firefighter/vet AU.

The dreaded call came about seven months into their relationship. It was 4am, Cahir had been called out just over two hours prior as there was a fire at some warehouse or other. Eskel was a little hazy on the details, he had been half asleep when Cahir got the call and left. Then the phone rang again and Eskel growled at it, he wasn’t on call that night at the practice. It meant Lambert was the one to pick up with a growled “what?”. The silence that followed wasn’t a good one.

“Which hospital?” Eskel was put on high alert more by the tightness of Lambert’s voice than realising exactly what he’d asked. “Okay, thank you for letting us know. We’ll be there.”

Putting the phone down, he stared down at Eskel, eyes big and lost. “There’s been an accident. Cahir’s been airlifted to hospital.”

Just like that everything else in the world fell away. Eskel sat up, a thousand questions clogging his throat so nothing actually came out.

“They say he’s stable, it’s just a precaution. Part of the warehouse blew out and his team got caught in the blast.”

There was nothing to say to that, Eskel had always been better with actions than words and he pulled Lambert in, needing to feel the reassurance of one of his partners safe in his arms.

Driving fell to Lambert, and the ride to the hospital was near silent. Neither of them dared say much but, when traffic allowed, they held hands over the centre console, squeezing tight. They had to believe the news that Cahir was stable was true.

At the hospital they were shown to a room that was down a seemingly endless corridor. Finally they were ushered through a door and there was Cahir, half propped up in a bed.

“Hey!” He smiled wide and waved with one hand. At first glance he looked like shit. On a second look it was even worse. Two black eyes, a split lip, neck brace and an arm in a sling. Even by 5am standards he looked like crap.

A surge of anger raged through Eskel and he frowned. “What did you do this time?”

“Caught a steel door with my shoulder. Wouldn’t recommend it.”

Lambert had stepped up to the end of the bed and pulled out the charts, flipping through them. “Moderate concussion, two cracked vertebrae in the neck, dislocated shoulder which also has second degree burns. You didn’t catch a steel door, you were clobbered by it.”

“Pinned, actually. And the sheet forgot to mention the temporary hearing loss and tinnitus!” Cahir seemed far too cheery for someone with such an extensive list of injuries.

Lambert snorted and shook his head. “They’ve given you the good stuff. I’m jealous.”

“You’re the good stuff,” Cahir replied, tongue poking at the split in his lip. “I’m jealous of me for having you.”

That was the moment Eskel couldn’t hold it in any longer. All the worry and fear bubbled over. “Why must you always play the hero? You scared the crap out of us! It’s a broken neck now but what if next time we’re visiting not a hospital but a funeral parlour?”

It was something Lambert was inclined to agree with. He already worried about Cahir and that was before they realised he would do everything in his power to save any living thing. While it had been what drew them in in the first place, it was now a bit of a wedge between them.

“What was it this time? A cat? A pigeon?”

“A child,” Cahir replied, a lot more subdued. “We could hear it crying. It was a recording.”

It had been a trap and Eskel’s mouth snapped shut. If it had been an animal, he could have continued to rage and pour all his fears into an argument. But this was something more, something so much worse. Cahir seemed a bit oblivious to the inner turmoil he’d caused as he tried to shrug with one shoulder.

“Police are on the case. It’s arson with assault.”

As carefully as possible, Lambert and Eskel took either side of the bed and sat down. They needed the comfort of touch from Cahir and reached to him, trying to avoid injuries and equipment.

“Sweetheart, we’re so glad you’re still with us,” Lambert murmured softly, stroking through Cahir’s hair. He still smelled thickly of smoke, mixed in with the disinfectants the hospital used. “You scare us when you go charging into dangerous situations.”

“It’s my job.”

“And our job is to worry about you and make sure you have a comfortable home to come back to. We love you so very much.” Eskel reached to carefully hold Cahir’s hand. “You’ll be off work for a while no doubt, you’ll need to heal.”

Plus, there was likely mandatory sessions with the therapist attached to the station before Cahir was allowed to return. They were going to need to make a few adjustments to their home to make sure it was safe and comfortable for them all. But, for now, the most important thing was that Cahir was being well looked after and pain free. Not all of his recovery would be so easy, there was going to be pain and frustration in their near future. But they could face that together and Eskel was grateful for that. He’d take than any day over the prospect of a future without either Lambert or Cahir.

[writesowhatnext]

you have to give a dog a name // frank castle

Summary: Frank takes a liking to a waitress at a diner – in Hell’s Kitchen it would never be long before the same waitress gets introduced to the Punisher

Request: just something i’d been thinking of for a while tbh

A/N: love Frankie 

Reader: female

Warnings: age difference, violence, assault, swearing, dogs, injuries, guns

part 1 // part 2

Working the night shift at the diner down the street just to earn enough money to survive whilst also trying to get through school was not easy nor ideal. But it wasn’t the worst option. Not by a long shot. Especially not in Hell’s Kitchen, where vigilantes and evil villains ran around like they owned the place. Although, that’s exactly what they did.

You didn’t get what was considered enough sleep; what with half your time spent on night shifts and the other half working hard enough to escape them. So, whilst you stood there, behind the counter, at 4am, you barely noticed the guy in the baseball cap sitting in the booth across the diner. When you did, you fumbled for the coffee jug, dragging it across the counter towards him. He’d been in the diner almost religiously for the last two months – only ever in the night shift between the hours of 2 and 5am. You didn’t know his name and given the city you lived in, chose to ignore how bruised his face always seemed to be.

“Just coffee today?” You asked, pouring him a cup. He lifted his head slightly, only grumbling in response. On the other side of the restaurant, there was a clicking sound from a businessman with a grey suit and an uglier briefcase. He looked at you expectantly, clearly irritated. You bit your lip. Asshole.

“Are you sure I can’t interest you in some breakfast? I make some mean eggs.” He smiled slightly as you sighed. The clicking noise from the man’s fingers just got louder and more impatient.

“No thanks, Doll, just coffee.”

You nodded, offering him your own smile before your face dropped and you were forced across the room to an impatient middle-aged man’s beck and call. You fetched him the cheque, chancing a glance at the clock on the wall. 6am couldn’t arrive fast enough.

To say you were surprised to see no tip when you picked up the cheque from the businessman’s now empty table would be an overstatement of great proportions. You cleared his table, noticing that the man in the baseball cap had also left. However, when you went to retrieve the empty coffee cup from his table, you were surprised to see the face of Andrew Jackson. You frowned, smiling slightly before seeing to the other few-and-far-between customers in the diner at this time.

For the next few nights, you didn’t see the mysterious tipper in the diner. You didn’t think much of it, though. And at 5.30am, you weren’t going to lose the very little sleep you had thinking of it any more. Only thirty more minutes and you could escape and get some rest; well-deserved, you thought. The diner was actually completely empty, surprising for this time. The last customer you’d had (a lady, typing away into a computer for about three hours, that went through around seventeen cups of coffee) had just left. She’d paid in coins, and given a generous tip, but you couldn’t help but roll your eyes as you placed each individual coin into cash register unbearably slowly. You muttered under your breath as you dropped a couple onto the floor.

As you bent down to pick them up, the bell at the door rang. Heavy, dragged footsteps made you frown but as you stood back, you were pleasantly surprised to see a familiar baseball cap, less so to see fresh bruises and- was that blood?

“Are you okay?” you asked, throwing the rest of the coins into the register and slamming it shut, leaning over the counter. The corner of his lips drew upwards as he sat at the counter, folding his arms in front of him.

“Fine, Doll.”

You frowned and grabbed the coffee jug from the machine, pouring him a cup and sliding it over.

“My name is Y/N.”

“Okay.” He smiled again and you couldn’t help but frown at the purplish hues of his face, the blood peeking out from under his hat. “Are eggs still on the menu?”

You couldn’t hide your surprise at his request but before long, a smile grew.

“Of course.”

He watched you mill around behind the counter, from the fridge to the pans to the shelves underneath the surface.

“Can I get you anything with that? Bacon? Hash browns? Mushrooms? Toast?”

“You’re okay, Doll. Eggs are fine.”

You nodded.

“How do you want them?”

“Surprise me.”

The silence was comfortable and nobody else decided they wanted diner food before six in the morning, fortunately. You were so involved in cooking that you completely forgot about counting down the minutes until your shift was over.

“Voila,” you placed down a place in front of him, not unaware of the way his eyes never strayed from your face. “Two eggs, over-easy. Because it’s my favourite.”

You grabbed some cutlery and a little sauce and seasoning rack and placed it in front of him.

“Thanks.”

You leant on your elbows, trying not to watch him eat but finding nothing better to do. He ate quietly and quickly, not bothering to add any extras. Just eggs and black coffee.

“What’s your name?” you asked. The way he paused didn’t escape you.

“Frank.”

Frank, you thought, definitely suited him.

The phone in the back rang; knowing it would be your boss, you offered Frank a smile and disappeared into the back. After a conversation that was not only unnecessary but about quite literally nothing, you returned to the front. Frank wasn’t there, he’d been replaced by Ulysses S. Grant. The bell above the door rang again as the girl on the day shift arrived. She shot you a sympathetically annoyed glance. You gave her a smile, thankful to be able to finally remove your apron and go sleep.

It wasn’t until thanksgiving that you saw Frank again. It was the night before and ever the gracious leader, your boss had let you leave early. Midnight. Lovely. So, you walked through the streets of Hell’s Kitchen warily, with your key shoved between your knuckles. You were about half a block from your house when you felt eyes on you. Your skin crawled. Walking down the alley, you heard footsteps behind you and the bleakest part of your mind hoped that you were only going to get mugged.

“Where you going, sweetheart?” a voice called out from in front of you. You swerved to the left, quickening your pace. Fuck fuck fuck.

“No need to run. We just wanna say hello.”

You stopped suddenly as a short white guy cut you off. He was smiling. You heard the footsteps behind you get louder.

“I don’t want any trouble-“

“Neither do we, Darling.” The man behind you was closer than you thought.

“Please-“

The man behind you grabbed your upper arm. Your heartbeat was the only thing you could hear, your ears throbbing.

With a strange jolt of adrenaline, you clenched your hand around the keys, jamming them into the man in front’s shoulder. He shouted as you pulled them out, reaching for you. Before he could reach you, the other man twisted you round to face him and he’s toothy smile. Mindlessly, you punched your hand into his face, feeling the keys sink into his cheek. He groaned and pushed you back. The keys dropped from your hand into a puddle on the ground. Fuck. You fell into the other man, hating the way his fingernails dug into your arm.

“You’re a bitch.” The one you had punched in the face spat, his cheek bleeding. The one behind you held you still – not from your lack of struggling – as the other approached. Your bag slid down your arm as you tried to rip your arms away; feeling his harsh grip eat into your arms.

A fist collided with your face and suddenly you were on the floor. A bottle smashed underneath you and you cried out, feeling the glass settle into the skin on your arm. You turned over, tasting blood in your mouth as your head swam. You could hear them talking behind you, chuckling to each other. You pushed yourself onto your hands and knees, your whole chest heaving. You reached for the rest of the half-shattered bottle, fingers skimming the glass surface. Before you could catch your breath, a hand gripped your hair roughly, pulling you to your feet as a cry left your lips. You’d managed to grasp the bottle and as your eyes watered from the pain in your head, you twisted round and thrust your hand into the figure holding you. He fell to the floor and you felt sick at the sight of the green glass buried in his shoulder, blood leaking around it and his eyes bulging.

“What the fuck?” the other man said, looking between you and his friend with angry eyes. You panicked, reaching to the ground to fish your keys from the puddle, hoping to get away. You didn’t get far before a hand gripped your wrist and pulled you back. He twisted your arm until you dropped your keys again. Your cry was cut short when his thick fingers wrapped around your throat and shoved you into the wall. Your free hand reached up to your neck, desperately trying to peel his fingers away.

“You fucking slut.” You moved your hand from your neck to his face, pulled and pushing to try and get him to let go. You clawed at his skin before shoving your fingers into his eyes, pushing until he let go and you dropped to the floor. You couldn’t breathe. Your heart was hammering.

You started to crawl away; your knees were sore against the concrete. Again, you didn’t get far. The same horrible hand caged your ankle and suddenly you were pulled towards him. Your knees sang in pain as you collided with the ground again. You would no doubt have rashes when you got out of this. If you got out of this. He stood between your legs and a different kind of fear overtook you. With nothing keeping you there, you backed away, elbows wet from puddles on the ground. The other guy still hadn’t got up, hand at his shoulder. He was breathing though, which you supposed was good for you.

You saw out of the corner of your eye, behind you, a piece of piping. As he got closer, his eyes predatory and angry, you quickened your pace, trying to ignore the pain you felt in your face, your knees and your neck. You grabbed at the piping as best you could, it spinning away from you as you panicked, still facing him. He bent down again to grip your ankle, dragging you once again, making you wince. He settled on his knees, hands groping up your leg. Your stomach dropped even further. You tried to back away but his fingers dug into your hips. You could feel his breath on your face and you tried to push him away but he shoved your wrist into the dirt behind you. You tried to kick but he knelt on your shins, pinning them down.

With your free hand, you pawed at the pipe, praying you could reach it as his hands strayed to your waist. With renewed panic, your hand finally found the pipe and before you knew it, you were swinging. It struck him in the side of the head; he jolted to the left. He was angry. So, you hit him again, burying into his skull. He sagged on top of you and all you could feel was your breath unable to escape your chest, his heavy body touching your skin. You rolled over. His hand twitched towards you. So, you hit him again. And again. And again. You were crying and sweating and you couldn’t breathe. You couldn’t breathe. You couldn’t stop either. Not when his blood hit your face, not even when you were sure he was dead. You only stopped when you heard your name behind you.

You spun around, wielding the pipe roughly, pointing it towards whoever was there. Your heart stopped a little when you saw Frank. His eyes softened at the feral panic in your own eyes. His hands were raised in surrender, showing he meant you no harm. You wanted to believe him but in his right hand was a gun.

“Who the hell-“ the man with the glass in his shoulder began before a shot rang out. Frank’s eyes didn’t leave yours as he pointed his gun. You looked down at the man, briefly noting the way he dropped to the ground. Frank’s hand disappeared behind his back. You watched him tuck his gun into his waistband, approaching you slowly. He noticed your bag on the floor, fishing it out of a puddle, and the streetlight glint off of your keys a good few feet away. He picked them up too.

“You’re okay, Y/N.” he said softly. You dropped the pipe, barely hearing the clang as it hit the floor. You could feel yourself shaking as he got closer but you didn’t move. You didn’t want to see the man behind you. The man you were sure you’d killed. Frank knelt down in front of you, his hands still raised. You absent-mindedly wondered why he didn’t care about his jeans getting wet. You were sure they’d seen worse stains.

“Can you stand?” he asked softly. Looking at him, into his dark eyes, you couldn’t help but feel like he wasn’t going to hurt you. So, you nodded. But then you tried. You felt like Bambi as you tried to make it onto two feet. You scrunched your eyes shut as you stood, wobbling.

“I’m going to touch you, okay?”

You nodded again but still winced as his hand rested on your arm gently. His tough, calloused palms were soft above your bruised skin.

“I killed him.” You muttered, over and over again as Frank pulled you slowly and gently into his chest. His arms surrounding you stilled your shaking slightly; you were grateful. You were confused when his right arm disappeared and his other hand pushed the side of your head further into his chest. It hurt briefly but when his hand covered your ear and another gunshot broke the silence, you silently thanked him.

“I killed him.” Frank said softly, his right arm returning to pull you into him. His logic was shaky but you appreciated the sentiment. “Where do you live, Doll?”

You couldn’t reply.

He stopped trying.

Without jostling you too much, he bent down and lifted your legs off of the floor. You were in a trance as he walked down the city streets, away from those men. You only sort of registered being inside, only taking notice when he lowered you to the ground. Still shaking, he didn’t dare move his hand away from your back. A jingling sound rang from another room, getting louder. You flinched. Then a dog appeared. It was a pit-bull with a too-large collar and a wiggle when it walked. A small smile lifted your cheek.

“Go away.” Frank said to the dog. The dog only barked back, coming closer to you with its wagging tail. Frank was about to shoo him out the room when you bent down, patting its head gently. Once again, Frank’s expression softened.

“What’s its name?”

Your voice was hoarse and broken and Frank barely recognised it.

“He doesn’t have one.”

You looked up at Frank then, with an almost teasing smile. You didn’t say anything though; just turned your attention back to the very grateful dog in front of you.

“Come on,” Frank said, lightly touching your arm, unable to tear his eyes away from the already forming bruises. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

You left the dog rather reluctantly, following Frank into a cramped bathroom. He coughed slightly. “If you take your clothes off and sit on the tub, I’ll get some first aid shit.”

You were slow to take your clothes off – a mix of embarrassment, pain and unsureness marked every movement. Frank knocked before he returned.

“Come in.”

You were sat on the side of his bathtub only in your underwear. You’d avoided the mirror, already horrified at your injuries you could see. Frank examined you from the doorway. You couldn’t help but feel conscious of his stare.

“I’ll clean up the worst ones.” He said, sitting on the toilet lid so he was level with your shoulders. “I brought you some clothes.”

You looked at the pile of large clothes on the floor and nodded. Silence fell again as he started with your legs, using a wet cloth to wipe away the dirt from the scrapes and rashes on your skin. You just watched his face, too sick to watch him work. Every time he moved to a different injury, he looked at you, his eyes soft, checking if you were okay. You appreciated how such a tough guy could be so gentle. You flinched when he moved your hair to look at the bruises on your neck, more than you had done when he’d painstakingly picked glass from your arm. That was the only time you looked away from him.

Then his hand rested on your chin, holding it in place as he brushed your skin with a wet cloth. You couldn’t tell what you looked like but from the way the cloth became more and more soaked with blood each time he pulled away; you didn’t want to know. When he was finished, he held your face for a moment longer, tucking your hair behind your ear and offering you a smile.

“Clothes are there. I’ll be outside.”

And with that, he left. You could hear the jingling of the dog’s collar again through the door and you imagined Frank bent down, petting him whilst he waited. Frank’s clothes were too big for you but you appreciated how soft they were. Before you could open the door, you caught your reflection in the mirror above the sink and winced.

You were bruised all over and your nose was still raw despite Frank’s attempts to get rid of the blood. You could also see the welt forming on your neck. You could’ve stood there for hours; thankfully, Frank’s gentle knocking pulled you from your reverie and you opened the door to see him leaning against the wall opposite, pit-bull sitting happily at his feet.

“You should stay here tonight.”

You only nodded again before he led you into the lounge. It wasn’t much, with only a TV and a sofa linked to a tiny looking kitchen. You sat down, smiling slightly when the dog sat next to you, eager for more attention.

“Do you want some food?” Frank didn’t strike you as a man with a stocked kitchen. “Coffee? Water?”

“Water, please.”

Frank searched a good five minutes for a clean glass before he decided you’d have to cope with a coffee-stained mug. When he got back to the couch, he found you asleep, his dog sitting on your lap. He smiled. When the dog noticed him, he wagged his tail ferociously but, you didn’t wake up. So, he decided you probably wouldn’t wake up if he moved you. The dog was hot on his heels as he carried you to his bed, placing you under the covers and sending his dog a dry look when he joined you.

“You’re lucky she likes you.” He said to the dog, casting one last look at your face before closing the door and disappearing to spend the night on the couch.

[scorpiosanssexy]

Haikyuu Characters doing their Duke of Edinburgh Expedition

I had a lovely chat with the wonderful @criedoverspiltmilkchan​ and we started to talk about what each haikyuu character would be like when doing dofe. Some of these headcanons were simply too good to leave in the messenger so here we are. 

(to all of my non british followers here is a quick explanation as to what dofe is, lots of british kids did this during high school. - https://www.dofe.org/do/sections/   click on the expedition bit) 

Group 1: Ushijima, Tendou, Oikawa, Iwaizumi, Kageyama, Hinata and Sugawara 

Ushijima is in his elememt , he is the leader of the group, you cannot tell me that this farmer boi doesn’t know how to do basic camping task

He is the person in the group that will 100% leave his group oikawa  behind because they are walking too slow 

He also made sure that everyone in his group were up at 5am so that they could watch the sunrise together

Whilst Ushijima is loving life, Oikawa is straight up the opposite 

This boy has never gone camping in his life

“I W A C H A N how do i put up this tent”

The only good thing he contributes to the group was that he snuck his old  I-pod touch and started a  sech on top of a hill

Which only consisted of spice girls whaaat 

He is also the person in the group to catch hypothermia even though Iwaizumi told him to put more clothes on

He just wanted to look cute 

Speaking of Iwaizumi, he is in charge of the route card. 

He was the only person who actually knew where the escape points were

He is the best person to have in your group because he is really good at motivating everyone but also get’s shit done 

He was basically Oikawa personal bodyguard 

Kageyama and Hinata were just fighting with each other constantly

For example it was Hinata’s turn to navigate (this boi cannot read a map to save his life) and he basically got lost 

Kageyama was raging B O K E  H I N A T A  B O K E 

Suga had to break up the fight 

These two idiots were also the people who kept everyone up all night because they were chatting at 2am in their tent. 

They also raced each other up a hill (Hinata is winning 10 to 9)

Kageyama brought milk with him but i began to rot so his tent stinks of old milk

Hinata brought an inflatable volleyball and once they got to the campiste they all played with it until it was dark 

Now Sugawara was made camp chef, why? because he is the best cook 

However no one could have predicted that Suga would cook them the spicy thing none to man (it is canon that he loves spicy food) 

Everyone is literally dying 

Tendou is the only one who actually enjoyed the meal 

the only reason tendou is doing dofe it because ushijima is doing it 

He naruto runs up the hill , and he beats both kageyama and hinata in their race (tendou - 11 kagehina- 0)

He is constanly whistiling whilst he walks oikawa wants to kill him 

Forgot his sleeping mat so hasn’t slept for pretty much the entire expedition 

He is surviving on literally just redbull and suga’s cooking 

As a group they were the second ones to reach the campsite  

Group 2: Kuroo, Kenma, Bokuto, Akaashi, Yaku, Tsukishima and Lev 

There is one and one reason only Kenma signed up for Dofe and that was because Kuroo said he would buy him the latest game animal crossing new horizons

For the majority of the time , he literally sulks because he wasn’t allowed his nintendo switch (which kuroo confiscated) 

He wanted to be in a group with Hinata 

Kuroo, on the other hand loves Dofe 

Him , being the science nerd he is, is literally naming every single planet he see’s on the hike and gives little fun facts about them 

He also encourages Tsukki and Kenma to do “group activities” (this literally consists of Bokuto and Lev rolling down a hill) 

Yaku is the sole voice of reason for the group 

His jobs is to make sure lev nekoma’s toddler  doesn’t run off and get in trouble

He is the only one who can work the trangia, no one knows how he does it he just does 

Again like Iwa chan, he is the only member of the group who actually knows the route card 

Lev

just lev tbh 

Lev 100% was that person in the group who ate the berries to “feel like one with nature”

He is also the dumb person to start dancing infront of a bull 

he was then chased by it 

yaku nearly died because of his short legs 

Lev wasn’t allowed to navigate 

Tbh he wasn’t allowed to do much 

He was banned from being in charge of the route card because he left it in the field, when he was chased by the bull 

Thank god Yaku knew the route 

Bokuto was the head chefs at camp, why? because he binges Hell’s Kitchen relgiously ( 100% qualified) 

They were going to cook a simple pasta dish, easy 

Welp, 20 minutes later the pasta had burnt, the trangia  melted at the bottom, dinner was shit 

cue Bokuto’s emo mode 

However, there was hope 

Akaashi was the group member who managed to sneak his phone 

He doesn’t really give a shit about nature, would rather be in a cafe in the city 

He secretly orders a chinese several yards away from the campsite ( he knew that Bokuto was going to fuck up dinner)

He tells everyone that Bokuto did this, to make him look like the hero 

So Group 2 tucked into Chinese , Oikawa could smell it and then started to complain to Iwa chan that other campers had nicer food 

This was the highlight for Tsukishima 

Tsukishima only signed up to Dofe because he thought Yamaguchi would do it 

Yamaguchi missed the deadline lol 

G O M E N  T S U K K I 

Tsukki for the majority of the hike put’s in his airpods so he doesn’t have to interact with anyone 

Secretly listens to Kuroo’s plant talk 

This is the group who is last to the campsite and then proceeds to tell everyone some wild story as to why they were back so late 

Group 3: Sawamura, Asahi, Tanaka, Nishinoya and Ennoshita 

Daichi is going to go grey 

He is making sure Tanaka and Nishinoya do not get in trouble 

He has to ,multiple times, shout at them both for talking way to loudly in the middle of the night, they were playing truth and dare  

He is in charge of the emergancy phone, he played the snake game and it lost charge whaaat you didn’t hear that from me 

He packs half of his bag with food ,he really is a hungry boi 

Tanaka drew the short straw so had to carry all the tent pegs (you know the heavy stuff)

He made everyone do some really stupid shit, like roll down the hill 

He accidently pushed Daichi down the hill, he has never been so scared in his life 

Not gonna lie, the person most likely to get all their stuff wet would be this boy right here 

Ennoshita had to share clothes with him because they were soaked 

He (ennoshita)  is in charge of the group project so he is basically making a mini documentry on their expedition 

He filmed Daichi being pushed down the hill by Tanaka 

He was forced by Noya to film him doing the rolling thunder in a middle of the field 

Brings toliet paper for the group 

Nishinoya is having a great time 

Susprisely, he has really good camping skills (like he knows how to put up a tent, cook a meal etc.....) 

Doesn’t stopped him from being a crack head tho 

Has cartwheeled on Asahi multiply times 

Proudly owns crocs and a spork 

Asahi is such a big bby 

This boi hates bugs with a passion 

An example of this happen during their lunch break 

Asahi was innocently eating his sandwich and then wasp appears 

Never in their life had they heard the most high pitched scream in their life 

Asahi is literally like bye bitch 

It takes the group 20 minutes to coax Asahi to sit back dwon 

Noya kills the wasp with his croc 

Despite the horrible weather, Asahi hair is literally the most gorgeous thing ever. Like he looks good anything

Please go and give the lovely @criedoverspiltmilkchan​ a follow, they are a fellow haikyuu imagine and matchup blog.

If you have any other headcanons feel free to submit them in my ask box 

Have a lovely rest of the day

Carla 

[fancat-not-fangirl]

It’s Not You Pt.12

a/n: more Christmas fluff (with a side of angst)

Cas woke up to the smell of something burning. It was clogging up his nose and filled his lungs and he choked awake, coughing at the raw scent. His eyes flew open and he drew in another breath, hoping he had imagined it. No such luck. Something was burning. Badly.

“Mom?” He croaked out, but got no response. Cas then remembered that his mom wasn’t home. She had been called to the office early this morning, and had woken up a bleary eyed, half asleep Cas at 5am to tell him that she’d be home in time for dinner. 

Then what was burning? Throwing back his blankets and getting up, Cas coughed a bit and tried to get the burning smell out of his system. He tiredly rubbed at his eyes and opened his door, making his way down the hallway and then to the stairs. Passing by the bathroom, he caught a look at himself in the mirror, and ran a hand through his sleep ruffled hair. It did nothing to help, and Cas shrugged and moved on, too tired to care.

He heard a loud noise in the kitchen, followed by cursing. Tensing, Cas quickened his pace, making it down the stairs and rounding the corner to the kitchen in a matter of seconds. And stared.

The smell was ten times stronger near the source, and Cas covered his nose as he took in the sight in front of him. There were baking utensils strewn everywhere, some in the sink, others piled on the counter. And the flour. It covered the tables and counters in a fine sheet of white powder. But that wasn’t the only thing the flour had engulfed. Dean was bent over, arm shoved into the oven up to his shoulder, shrouded from head to toe in a layer of white. 

“Dean, what are you doing?”

Dean’s head snapped up and his face went red. Well, as red as it could get under all that flour. He glanced around the mess of the kitchen, and gave Cas a sheepish look as he put his flour covered hands behind his back.

“I… umm. Baking?”

Cas raised an eyebrow. “Baking?”

“Attempting to bake.”

Cas snorted. “That’s better.” He walked around to where Dean was standing and peered into the oven. Gagging at the burnt smell coming from a black form in the center of the oven, Cas looked back up at Dean. “What were you trying to make? And why at 8am?”

“Well,” Dean ducked his head and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. “Your mom left and I know that she usually makes you breakfast and I get up early anyway so I decided that I’d make you something.” He gestured at the dining room table, where Cas realized there were two plates, both piled high with eggs, bacon, and waffles. “I tried to make blueberry muffins but I sort of forgot about them and they kind of burned.”

Cas smiled up at Dean, who still had his eyes wide with that guilty look. Standing up on his tiptoes, Cas pressed a kiss to Dean’s cheek. “Thank you anyway.”

Dean relaxed a bit and smiled back, reaching out to pull Cas in for a hug, but the younger man twisted out of his reach, laughing. “I’d rather not get flour all over my clothes.” Realizing that he was still covered from head to toe in the white powder, Dean chuckled and said, “At least help me clean this mess up.”

Rolling his eyes with a grin, Cas opened the window in the kitchen, then made his way to the living room, opening the windows in every room of the house. “First we’ve got to get rid of that smell.”

Dean’s laugh was the only thing he got in reply.

*****

Before leaving, his mom had told Cas that he should decorate the tree today, and that’s exactly what he was doing. Dean was just finishing cleaning the kitchen, which he had been doing for almost an hour now. Cas knew that it had to be spotless, or else when his mother returned she’d hang him by the ears.

Cas had brought up the boxes of ornaments and tinsel and garlands from the basement. They had way too many decorations for their own good, and Cas spent a good ten minutes trying to decide if he wanted to use the garland made out of popcorn or the one he made out of buttons the previous year on a particularly boring day at home when he mother was away at work. He finally settled on the popcorn one, as it matched with the golden tinsel.

While hanging up one of the ornaments, out of the corner of his eye Cas saw Dean collapse onto the couch with a mug of tea in his hands. He must have finished in the kitchen.

“Are you gonna help me or just watch?” Cas called over his shoulder, reaching up and adjusting the lights near the top of the tree. 

“Just watch.” Dean said. “I tired myself out scrubbing the kitchen to within an inch of its life.”

Smiling to himself but letting out a loud huff so that Dean could hear, Cas continued his work on the tree, aware of Dean’s eyes following his every move. Grabbing some tinsel, Cas started wrapping it around the tree. Hearing a small noise behind him, he glanced back and saw Dean’s face scrunch up.

“What?”

“You’re doing it wrong.”

Cas gave Dean a confused look. “Doing what wrong?”

“The tinsel.”

Cas looked back and surveyed his work. Seeing nothing wrong with it, he swung his head around and glared at Dean. “It looks fine to me.” He pointed a finger at his soulmate. “And anyway, what are you? The tree police?” He turned back to the tree and continued wrapping it. “You were the one that said you didn’t want to help, so don’t complain.”

Cas finished with the tinsel and dug around in the box for some ornaments. Filling his arms over the top with the decorations, he balanced them precariously as he took one at a time, hanging them all around the tree.

“Wrong!” Came the shout from Dean again. Ignoring him, Cas stood his ground and continued placing the ornaments in random spots on the tree. 

“That’s wrong, too.”

Cas turned on his heel and leveled a glare on his soulmate, who was lounging on the couch, sipping his tea. “Well if you know so much about decorating Christmas trees, please, be my guest and get it right.”

Smirking, Dean got up and strode across the room to Cas, handing him his tea and swapping it for the armful of ornaments. Cas backed away and looked the tree over. There was nothing that was wrong with it as far as he could tell. The tinsel was in place, there were ornaments littering the green expanse of tree. The popcorn garland was a little wonky, but didn’t look too bad.

“Hey!” Cas protested as Dean started taking off his recent additions to the tree. “Put them back! I worked hard on those!”

Snorting, Dean said, “Really? I couldn’t tell.”

Grumbling to himself, Cas stomped back and dropped down onto the couch, taking a deep swing of the tea. That was the wrong move, because he immediately coughed it back up. “How long did you keep the tea bag here for? It tastes so bitter, how do you even drink this?”

Chuckling, Dean glanced at Cas over his shoulder. “I like bitter tea. Why are you drinking my tea, anyway?”

“Bitter like your soul.” Cas mumbled to himself, which earned him an indignant “Hey!” from Dean.

They stayed in silence for a few minutes until Cas piped up, “Can you at least tell me what I did wrong so that I won’t make the same mistakes next time?”

Dean sighed, as if he was preparing himself for a long talk. He then launched into it. “Well, first of all, the colors don’t match at all. You can’t have all of the decorations one color, or else it looks bland. The garland and tinsel should not both be yellow gold. No. Absolutely not. Let’s see if you have anything else in here…” Dean bent down and rummaged around in the box until he brought out the button garland. “Aww this is cute. Did you make it?”

Cas nodded, and Dean smiled at him. “That’s adorable. I didn’t know my angel was into arts and crafts. When’d you make it? Preschool?”

“Last year.”

Dean gave him an amused look as he laughed. “Your artistic skills are astounding.” Turning back to the tree, Dean started wrapping the buttons around. 

“See? The tree is already starting to look more colorful instead of being one monotone color.” Cas had to admit, it did look better with the button garland than with the popcorn one. Maybe Dean really was the tree police.

“And the ornaments that you hung up.” Dean made an exaggerated shudder. “They’re hung so consistently, it’s like I’m back in math class and we’re going over graphs.” Gesturing at the tree, Dean continued, “You have all of the red ones on this side, all the yellow ones in the middle, and all the blue ones over here. You can’t do that. Nope.”

He started hanging and rehanging the ornaments, rearranging them in a way that actually made the tree look much better than it did before. All the while, he was explaining to Cas about color balance and emphasis and pattern. After a span of half an hour or so, Dean’s movements back and forth in front of the tree lulled Cas into closing his eyes, letting Dean’s voice wash over him.

“Cas!” 

Cas was jolted awake by a hand on his shoulder and opened his eyes to find Dean’s face looking down on him. Realizing that he had fallen asleep, Cas yawned and managed a soft, “Hmm?”

“I asked you a question like twenty times and looked over to find that you fell asleep! A bit rude, if you ask me.” Dean sat down on the edge of the couch and crossed his arms.

“What question?” Cas mumbled, still not quite awake after his nap.

“I wanted to know if I could get the ladder.”

Giving Dean a confused look, Cas stretched and sat up. “What for?”

Smiling and ruffling Cas’s hair, Dean leaned in and kissed Cas on the nose. “Well, how else are we supposed to get you to the top of the tree?” 

Cas was confused at first, but at Dean’s wink he realized what his boyfriend had meant. Wrapping his arms around Dean, Cas pulled him down on top of him, pressing their lips together. Dean smiled against his mouth, slipping a hand under Cas’s shirt and running it along his skin. Cas leaned into his touch, and wrapped his arms tighter around Dean.

“Did you finish with the tree?” Cas asked. Dean was still sprawled on top of him, face buried in Cas’s neck. Dean hummed and nodded. Cas looked over and was pleasantly surprised at how nice the tree looked. Whenever he or his mom had decorated, it always looked a little sloppy and lopsided, but Dean had somehow made the tree into something you’d find in a magazine.

“Looks good.” Cas whispered to Dean, who shifted and inhaled deeply, mumbling, “Told you your way was wrong.” 

Laughing, Cas rested his head on Dean’s and closed his eyes. He hadn’t finished his nap.

*****

Cas woke up for the third time that day when he heard a key in the lock and the unmistakable sound of the front door opening. Shifting a bit, Cas realized that Dean had remained in his position on top of Cas, with their legs tangled together and his arms around the younger man. Cas smiled softly at the peaceful look on Dean’s face. He looked so sweet and innocent when he was asleep. Cas would have used the word ‘adorable’, but he didn’t think that Dean would have appreciated that adjective being used on him.

“Cas! Dean! I’m home!” came the voice of his mother, and Cas could hear her putting her keys down on the counter as she shrugged off her coat and took off her shoes. 

Trying not to wake Dean, Cas called out softly, “We’re in the living room.”

From his horizontal and limited view of the room, Cas only felt it as his mom walked in. “Oh, Cas. The tree looks wonderful! But where are y-” Her question was cut short as she made her way around the back of the couch and saw the boys. Her eyes softened, and she let out a soft, “Aww” at the sight of the cuddling Cas and Dean.

“I’ll be right back.” She mouthed, noticing that Dean was asleep, and tiptoed out of the room. There was a large chance that she’d come back with her phone to take a picture, and Cas was not disappointed when she returned.

Waving her hand at him, Claire mouthed, “Pretend you’re asleep.” Sighing with a smile, Cas closed his eyes and settled back down, pressing his face into Dean’s hair, inhaling that scent that was now so familiar to him. He heard the sound the phone made when it took a picture, but he didn’t bother opening his eyes. 

“Are you boys hungry?” Claire asked. Cas thought for a moment.The last time either of them ate was hours back when they had leftover spaghetti and meatballs from the day before. He nodded, and his mom bustled away into the kitchen where he heard her opening and closing cabinets and taking out food from the refrigerator. Cas closed his eyes and brought his hand up to Dean’s head, starting to softly run his hands through Dean’s hair.

Letting out a quiet moan of content, Dean shifted slightly on top of Cas. Scolding himself for waking Dean up, Cas stopped stroking Dean’s hair and dropped his hand back to his side. 

“Mmm, no. Don’ stop.” Dean’s voice was muffled by Cas’s neck, but he heard Dean anyway. Smiling, Cas moved his hand to Dean’s head again and resumed running his fingers through Dean’s hair. His soulmate let out a noise that was almost a purr as Cas tugged softly on the hair at the back of his neck. 

Cas was about to drift off to sleep again when his mom came in again, announcing that dinner was ready. Cas heaved a sigh and poked Dean, who mumbled something about leaving him alone. Cas made a split second decision and started running his fingers along Dean’s sides, tickling him. 

Giggling, Dean squirmed on top of Cas, trying to bat away his soulmate’s hands but still not getting off of him. Determined to get his way, Cas moved his fingers faster up and down Dean’s ribs. 

“Stop-” Dean managed to gasp out between laughs. “I can’t-” Cas hit a particularly ticklish spot and Dean howled with laughter.

“I’ll stop if you get off.” Cas said, smiling devilishly. 

Dean lasted another few seconds before he rolled off of Cas and jumped back, stumbling over his own feet in his rush to get away. Cas couldn’t help but stare as Dean straightened up and ran a hand through his hair. Dean’s shirt was rumpled and his hair was ruffled, giving him an incredibly lovable ‘I just woke up’ look, which was true. He was panting slightly from their tickling ordeal, and not for the first time Cas raked his eyes over Dean’s body, mesmerized by the rising and falling of Dean’s chest. 

“Boys! What are you doing in there!” His mother’s voice came from the kitchen, snapping out of his admiration of Dean, who had stretched out a hand and pulled Cas up from off the couch. Exchanging a soft kiss, they then walked hand in hand into the kitchen, where Claire had prepared a delicious smelling dinner of sauteed sweet potatoes and kale.

“I see you’ve decorated the tree.” Claire said, piling potatoes onto their plates. “I’ve gotta admit, it looks better than last year. Or the year before that.” 

Grinning, Dean puffed out his chest proudly. “You can thank me for that. The angel here couldn’t have managed it if it weren’t for-”

“The fricking tree police over there.” Cas interrupted, shooting a mock glare at Dean. “He was monitoring my every move, and would scream ‘Wrong!’ anytime the ornaments were 5 millimeters apart instead of 10. It was exhausting.”

Dean stuck his tongue out at Cas, then, as if remembering something, he jumped up and sprinted out of the room, coming back a second later with his phone, which he had left on the coffee table in the living room. Dropping down into his seat, he then passed his phone to Cas’s mom, who promptly choked on the water she was drinking. 

Leaning over, Cas saw what Dean was showing her. It was a video of Cas decorating the tree, humming softly to himself, shaking his hips slightly. Cas looked up from the phone and was met with the laughing faces of his mom and Dean.

“Well no wonder Dean had to fix the tree.” His mother laughed and patted his hand. “It looked atrocious.”

Harrumphing, Cas folding his arms and glared at Dean. 

“Relax, angel. You looked adorable.” Dean winked at him. “How could I resist?”

Realizing that he could never stay mad at Dean, Cas rolled his eyes and started working on the mountain of potatoes heaped on his plate. The melt-in-your-mouth food immediately put Cas in a better mood, as did the bickering between the three of them. 

When they were finished, Cas was about to collect the plates and bring them to the sink to wash them when his mother stopped him. 

“Don’t go yet. I have to talk to you.”

The look she gave Cas made his stomach churn, and he quickly sobered up, the smile leaving his face. It was rare that Claire used that apologetic tone on him, but whenever she did, it was always bad news.

Cas’s fears were confirmed when his mom started fiddling with her sweater sleeve, a habit that Cas had inherited from her. Both of them only did it when they were extremely nervous or scared. Cas could only sit and wait and hope for the best.

“I was called to the office today because of work. You know that Cas.” She started. Cas nodded. His mother worked as a travel nurse, rarely getting a chance to stay home. The money was good, but it also meant that Cas saw very little of his mother. 

“Jody was supposed to be on the flight to Vancouver from tomorrow morning to the day after Christmas, but she went skiing with her family yesterday and got hurt. She can’t make the flight, and everyone else is on vacation.” Cas already knew what she was going to say next. “Except for me. Management wants me on the flight tomorrow. So… I can’t be here for Christmas.”

There was a moment of silence.

Then Cas burst out, “That’s not fair! Surely there must be someone else? Anyone else?” 

Claire shook her head sadly.

“I was looking forward to spending Christmas with you for months now! You promised you’d be here! You promised.” Cas knew he shouldn’t have been getting this emotional, but he couldn’t help himself. He saw his mother so rarely and for such short periods of time, and he had been sitting on pins and needles waiting for Christmas with his mom for weeks and weeks. To take that away from him was cruel, and they all knew it.

“I know. I’m sorry, Cas, I really am. But I told them I would do it.” Claire reached out and put a hand on his arm, but he pulled away. As an afterthought, he pushed away his chair and stood up, then marched out of the kitchen and up the stairs to his room. 

Slamming the door shut, Cas dropped onto his bed and put his head in his hands. Why couldn’t they have found anyone else? Why did it have to be his mom? The year before this one she had flown away on Christmas, too, leaving Cas to spend the holiday with Gabriel at Gabe’s apartment. Their Christmas Dinner had consisted of leftover pizza and Burger King, and instead of a tree, they wrapped the TV in tinsel and pretended that everything was fine.

But on coming back, Cas's mother had promised him that this Christmas she’d spend with him. She had promised, and Cas knew for a fact that his mother was a woman of her word. Well, at least until now.

He heard the door ease open and someone’s footsteps approached his bed. The mattress dipped with the added weight of another person, and Cas knew from the gentle way the arms encircled him that it was his mother.

“I’m so sorry, Cas. I know I promised, but there’s nobody else that’s available. I wish it were different, but…” She trailed off, and Cas wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in her shoulder, trying not to cry. “I’ll give you your presents on the day I come back, does that sound ok?” 

No. No it didn’t. But Cas didn’t have a choice, so he sniffed and nodded. “That’s ok.”

They stayed like that for a minute, then Claire pulled back and cupped Cas’s face in her hands. Giving him a quick kiss on the nose, she whispered, “I need to go pack.” Feeling Cas stiffen, she added, “Why don’t you set up under the tree? You can ask Dean to join you?”

Cas nodded again, and when his mom left the room he sighed and heaved his blanket and pillows into his arms and went downstairs. Dean, who had apparently insisted on doing the dishes while Claire went upstairs to talk to Cas, looked up as he was finishing drying the last few  plates. His eyes flashed quickly from sympathy to confusion as he took in the sight of the blankets and pillows. He wiped his hands on a towel and walked into the living room, where Cas was setting up his blankets almost right under the tree.

“Is this because of the tree decorating incident? Are you marking your territory now?” Dean joked lightly as he sat down on the couch across from Cas. Cas couldn’t help but smile.

“No, it’s just that ever since I was a little kid, the first night we set up the tree, be it real or fake, I’d always sleep under it. My brothers would laugh at me, but it was fun, so I did it every year.” Looking down at himself and chuckling, Cas continued. “I’m obviously too big to fit under it now, but I still sleep around it every year.” Even the previous year, even though it hadn’t been a tree but a TV he slept under.

“Am I allowed to sleep under the tree, too, or is that strictly a Cas Only Tradition?”

Cas didn’t hesitate in answering. “I’ll help you bring your blankets.” 

Dean grinned from ear to ear and grabbed Cas’s hand as they went up the stairs. The door to Clair’s room was closed, but they could hear the sounds of her packing from inside. Cas’s smile dimmed a bit, but he tried his best to keep it up as he was handed a pillow from Dean’s bed.

They set Dean’s blanket and pillow up right beside Cas’s. Claire came downstairs to set up the fireplace and tell them goodnight, kissing both of them on the forehead before turning off the lights and going back up to her room. 

Dean wrapped Cas in his arms, pulling him close to his chest. Whispering a soft “I’m sorry” into Cas’s hair, Dean started rubbing small, comforting circles into Cas’s back. Cas sighed, whether from happiness or sadness, he couldn’t decide, and melted into Dean.

And with the sound of Dean’s heartbeat in his ear, the warm orange glow from the fire at his back, and the reflecting blues, reds, and yellows of the ornaments radiating with a happiness that he didn’t feel, Cas fell asleep.

[swirlyrobe]

Jul 28, 2015

Details

after that i ended up in a special ed school and thats when i started listening to rap with dipset and stealing yugioh cards for money and robitussin to get high. when i was 16 i only had a couple good friends and everybody else just avoided me caus they were scared i was going to fight them and one of them steve (who’s 3 years younger than me) had me meet his (at the time) ex gf one day and i ended up getting my thing sucked>.> yea for the first time and then we planned to lose our virginity the next week. she brought her friend and we had a threesome tho my drugs caught up with me because i was on probation for beating somebody up on the bus and i kept getting dirty urines for weed so i went to rehab a couple weeks after

i never really had gfs in highschool other than that, there was only 5 girls in my special ed school, i was friends with most of them but they used me for drugs. i went to community college right after highschool and made friends rapping tho immediately got involved in a small crime ring of stealing video games from stores, selling them to gamestop to make a couple hundred daily as well as smoking a lot more weed (while still on probation for another assault) that didnt catch up with me yet tho when i was 19 this girl sabrina added me on facebook and i really liked her, ended up meeting her at the mall it was a really sweet date(we had fun getting physical😄) she wasn’t like everybody else because she didnt try to be normal. i had court coming up though i ended up smoking pcp for the first time and had a psychotic break where i thought this girl was her (who wasnt) and got arrested for unlawful restraint (i thought she was bugging out and i didnt want to leave until i knew what was wrong). i went to jail and got released to rehab again.

when i got out of rehab i went to outpatient rehab (i was 20 now) and met a woman heather who was 33. we dated and she bought a ring for me 3 months after to propose which i accepted because i was desperate and i thought i loved her though she asked if i was attracted to her and i honestly said only her face and not her body so she broke up with me. after that i started smoking again until i started talking to this girl Haley who lived the city over from me, she said she wanted a brother yet i really started liking her when we talked. this is when i really started realizing i liked younger girls and she ended up admitting she had a bf months after and lied to both of us. (i made a lot of songs about her😔😪){&2020 update about haley: we moved on with our lives and had never met though I talked to her a little on Facebook this year and, thankfully I wasn't as enamored and clingy😪}

there's a couple dozen other girls i dated/talked to between that and then there was bella who heard my music on an old social site called PHEED and i thought she was beautiful so i told her that and we talked. she lived in texas but we had intense convos she was really smart, beautiful, funny and we swore we would be together though i had to go to rehab again(this time inpatient in New London where, I lived in a sober house & got a job after) because i violated probation yet i wanted to test if she’d stay with me so i didnt tell her i went. about 4 months later when i was getting out of rehab i talked to her again and she acted like everything was alright and she had moved to NY as well as gotten a license and really had her life together. she said she loved me and was gonna drive to see me in new london so, I waited an hour for her to come until I talked to her and she said because I "played" her she was playing me so, not coming 😢😞(this was in 2014)

So in 2015 I was clean about a year so, I applied & got accepted for McNally Smith college of music (to major in audio production) in st Paul Minnesota where I Was clean for months until (for some reason I forgot but, probably running around fast) I got kicked out of my weightlifting gym out there so I was upset and, found some people @ a park near downtown st Paul smoking weed which I got in on and, ten weeks later I saw someone with dreads buying a dutch in a bodega so, I asked if he knew where to get weed and: It turned out he was a dealer so I ended up buying lot's of weed and trading for studio time for him to record but, I got caught smoking sometimes in my dorm & because I got in arguments with students and staff at college so, they warned me if I got in ANY fight in or, outside of school I would be expelled & I DID get expelled; probably because of the fight where I sent that guy who hit my head with a brick to the hospital (which drew a LOT of attention and PROBABLY was on the news)

Though they said it was because I got in too many arguments and, smoked too much weed in my dorm...

So I moved back with my grandma later in 2015 where I was until she kicked me out for smoking weed and k2 so, I was homeless In which I slept under a blanket near the library and, behind a church in hamden until, the church let me live in their garage when it became winter so I stayed there until early 2016 where, I moved to a spot in Hamden off the bike trail in the woods where I started with a one person tent until I stole a 8 person tent from Walmart and, uused a shopping cart to carry a bed my friend gave away down the bike trail to my spot and late I stole a propane heater plus propane powered stove so I stole an empty propane can outside of krauzers and I kept paying $20 to get it filled at The car wash up the street so I used it to cook ramen and, oatmeal on my stove and power my heater in the winter and I finally got clean in August 2016 while STILL homeless then completed a course to get into CTWORKS which helped me get nice used suits and an interview g for the job I got at Chipotle in December 2016 while, still homeless 😪 I told them I still lived at my grandmas and took showers at my friend's house until I got a la fitness membership with my first paycheck which was actually through the woods near my tent so, I took showers there EVERY morning & worked out there in addition to, at my tent where I still had a barbell set from my grandmas and, then in the spring of 2017 I applied to and, got a landscaping job I saw on the ctworks job search online so I woke up at 5am EVERY morning with a battery powered alarm clock I stole from Walmart and, caught the first Whitney bus that went downtown at 5:30 and, then I took the next train around 5:45 to go to milford where, the landscaping base is so I ran there when I got to Milford around 6am to get there on time by 6:30-45

So I worked there while I was still homeless and, I got approved for shelter plus Care which some people That lived in the woods near me told me about and, I got my apartment with 2 jobs off the post road behind dunkin donuts in West Haven so, I took The bus up the post road to get to BOTH jobs until, I saw a moped for sale from east haven on Craigslist for$200 in mid spring of 2017 which, I rode to my jobs on until, I got a drivers permit (coincidentally on the day I heard my grandma was dying so, I Went to her house and Watched her die 😥

Then I took drivers ed classes;

Then I started getting driving lessons in late spring 2017 until I learned to drive in a couple months so, I took the drivers test in summer 2017 and, then took motorcycle classes at north haven gateway (where I ran into my dr's receptionist Alexandra ai had a crush on (who I even had written and recorded a song about) then, my mom helped me get my 250 ninja from new Haven power sports so: I drove that to my jobs until my crash on August 6th 2019 which, I don't remember but, I woke up at the residential physical rehab hospital Gaylord where : I leave weekly what happened was I hit an suv on mg way to work, had a right brain stroke & broken pelvic also my left side was paralyzed and got contractures (where my left arm, fingers and left got really curled up and difficult to straighten so I'm still working on walking again 😥

(I'm getting botox injections to help my left side straighten and , I'm able to my left leg and arm though, they're really bent and my fingers are too bent for me to move, use,or, hold anything😪

So now I am living at my aunts waiting to get another apartment through my insurance agency while, I still get votox every 2 months unrtil I hopefully gain control and use of my left side😪 &, the ability to walk again...

I went from being REAL STRONG to, being weak (though I'm ljfting more with my right arm with a dumbbell then I used to!)

Either way: I'm a survivor!

💪🏽😁👍🏼

[drimeth-of-bag-end]

Losing Morality

Everyone felt it the second it happened.

Logan lost more logic than he thought in a split second.

Roman was suddenly surrounded by adventures and creative ideas that terrified him to his (or Thomas's) core.

Deceit realised he could have a spot open just for him, and was now able to truly influence Thomas.

Virgil sprang to action when he felt half of his problems disappear, and half of his help go too. Only one thing could do such a thing.

Patton ducked out.

Virgil didn't think it would actually happen. Patton had been acting off the past while, and even the fans noticed it in the Crofters video. He tried so hard to help Patton but it seems like it didn't work. But before he could help Patton now, he had to stop Thomas from stepping out of the house.

"It's raining pretty hard today. You could be killed just by trying to step outside of your door. Lighting could strike you. Lighting could strike the car and instantly kill you. Or make it explode and leave you in a burning wreak to slowly suffer and hurt anyone that tries to help you."

Virgil felt his voice distort but didn't let up until ten solid minutes later Thomas was a mess on the couch.

"Virgil what is, Thomas? Virgil what is the meaning of this? Where is Patton?" Logan asked, holding a notebook in his hand as he appeared in his usual video spot. Virgil could just barely make out the word ethics on the front.

"Patton ducked out Logan. Thomas has no fear of hurting people because he doesn't care about that. I had to go extreme to keep him away from others." Virgil said as Roman appeared as well.

"We need to get him now. I... I don't feel well." Roman said, his hair a mess and the sash looked like he spilt ink on it.

"Roman?" Logan stared at him. Roman took care to make sure he looked perfect.

"If he... he has no desire to be the kindest most princely person he can... I... I won't either." Roman said, winching as if something hurt him. "His imaginations is breaking. We need Patton now!"

"I totally don't agree." Deceit appeared where Patton should, looking unfazed by any of this. "I don't have the ability to speak the truth now."

"Patton!" Logan yelled the summon, pulling at him as hard as he could.

Nothing.

"Padre please!" Roman tried, pulling as well.

Again nothing.

"This won't work. We need to go to his room." Virgil said, hissing more worries and making Thomas moan under a pillow. "Deceit, you are coming with us."

"I was planning on staying. This is what I always wanted." Deceit agreed.

"Logan grab Thomas. We need him." Virgil said. Logan nodded and went to him, hand on his back.

"Think of Patton... and now!" Virgil sunk when the barrier to Patton's room weakened with the memories.

Everyone followed quickly, dragging Thomas with them.

Inside Patton's room, they felt more like their old selves. Roman's sash appear like it should even if it truly was stained. "I can think more clearly now. Padre! Padre please where are you?"

"Patton!" Virgil called out as well, surprised when he saw that Deceit has his own corner, little scraps of paper and what seemed like small music boxes. Deceit played one and they heard Thomas explain that he didn't stay up all night watching Parks and Rec again. All the lies Thomas ever told. Why would Patton keep those?

"Morality we need you!" Logan forced Virgil to focus again, looking at the logic side. He never heard Logan sound... emotional like that before.

"Do you Logic?" Patton appeared, and he was angry. The golden light feel changed and things changed instantly. They got surrounded with items and memories that had made Thomas mad. "Do you really?"

"Morality I was wrong. I was foolish and, uh, un-woke about how much influence you have." Logan said, checking his flash cards.

"Padre we need you. I didn't realize that you influenced what I do as well." Roman said, wincing again as something must have hit him from the imagination.

Patton frowned and turned to him. "You didn't know? Thomas never entertained those ideas because I said it was wrong. He knew they were morally wrong."

"Patton..." Virgil went to speak, and still heard his voice distorted. "I'm scared. I don't want Thomas to be hurt." He pulled back some of the anxiety to let Thomas feel again.

"Fuck... Virgil what was that for? Wait... Patton's room?" Thomas looked around. He was shocked to see how different it was. "Patton? What is going on?"

"The others were just showing me how much you didn't need me." Patton said.

"What!? That's wrong! Completely wrong! Wait did I just say the f word?" Thomas covered his mouth.

"Without morality, you don't hold yourself to your standards. People become means to an end. I whisper to you more." Deceit said from his corner.

"Deceit! Why is he here!? I don't like lying!" Thomas said.

"Without Morality, you would not care." Logan pointed out. "Without Morality... all of us will change."

Roman forced the room to show how he looked and Patton gasped. The sash and suit were black and a large gold crown with red dripping off like ink or blood was upon his head. But what shocked them the most was the bruises that appeared on his skin. He didn't look... like Roman. "Patton, padre, morality. Please. I don't want the thoughts of hurting others to be so close to the conscious. Fighting them off is too difficult. We need you. You hold them back naturally."

"You make my job easier. If Thomas cares about his friends, they can help keep me in check." Virgil said, not liking how much stronger he was at the moment.

"I don't want the others to be seen yet." Deceit said. "And I don't want to lose our talks."

"Wait... talks?" Thomas asked.

Patton sighed. "Deceit and I do talk. Lying isn't always bad. He helps you through rejections, keeps your head up by lying to yourself that everything is okay. He is self preservation. He isn't evil."

Deceit played another lie. "I'm fine guys, honest."

Thomas frowned, then looked at Patton. "You do a lot, don't you?"

"I was one of the first things you had Thomas. Before I was just right and wrong. Were you feeling okay or not? Logic formed next as curiosity. Then Roman and almost exactly after Deceit when you drew on the wall. Virgil didn't fully form until you were older... I remember them all forming. I found my footing early since your father and mother were good and loving. You didn't need to learn what is right or wrong on your own, you were shown." Patton sighed. "And they forgot."

"Patton... I'm sorry. I overstepped too often. We need you. Without you, Thomas isn't Thomas." Logan said again, taking his glasses off to nervously clean. He paused as he did so. "I guess... I wasn't seeing clearly."

"He is good at hiding." Deceit said, staying in his corner.

"I learned from the best." Patton joked.

"Please Patton. Come back. Without you... there is none of us." Roman begged.

"Please." Virgil begged too. "You're my best friend. I tried so hard to be there... and I'm sorry I failed."

Patton's resolve cracked there. "You didn't fail Virgil. You did your best. We couldn't ask for a better side."

"So will you come back? Not like you were before, but with being open and honest to when any of us hurt you?" Thomas asked.

Patton nodded. "Yeah. I'll come back. We should leave before you don't want to leave." He dragged them all out to the main room, including Deceit.

Thomas sighed as he felt everything go back to how it was before.

Roman felt everything go back to normal, and his other outfit went back to white and red sash. "It's good to be a prince again."

Virgil sighed and felt his normal levels of worry settle back as before.

"Patton my actions towards you were uncalled for. I acted rude and hurtful towards you too often. I'm sorry, and I will do everything I can to never do such a thing again." Logan apologised again.

"I won't try and duck out again. Quack." Patton promised.

"Thank god. Now, what was I supposed to be doing today?" Thomas asked. When he was met with blank stares, he sighed. "Greeeeaaaat."

This is just a little fic i thought up and wanted to share! I hope @5am-the-foxing-hour enjoys it! This is for you!

[lifeiszestyy]

*3/21/2019

*hello?? i’m just browsing tumblr about to get off and play my mobile games when i realized i didn’t write today’s journal??

*ughh i went to sleep at maybe 4-5am and woke up at?? 7-8am. i couldn’t sleep so i was waiting to hear my mom leave, but when i finally heard her open the garage, i closed my eyes and blacked out?! this is the second time. i woke up at 4pm and i had a heart attack bc i wanted to get up before my dad got home but lmaooo i forgot to wash the dishes before he got home anyway

*i tidied up the living room and vaccumed before playing sims today. actually even before that i got really excited to draw in the notebook i got in portland so i drew my oc chester bc i’ve been thinking about him a lot lately. after cleaning, i drew another oc that i’ve been thinking about lately, gregory. i haven’t drawn him in a while so i decided to update his look and he uhh he unfortunately ended up looking Too Much like my sister’s ex-friend from high school and it creeped me out so i had to figure some way...... to avoid that. i mean. i still wanted him to look like a nerd with glasses and a nerd haircut, but i figured you know, he doesn’t have to be a plain white guy. i originally created him around the time when 90% of my characters were white by default so i decided maybe he’s like mixed race but kind of white passing. or something like that.

*today in the sims..... a lot of skill building again. i want my aliens to complete their aspirations and move the fuck out of the house because there are way too many sims in this household to keep track of. hera tried to propose to her girlfriend finnie fabulous the day before love day and got fucking rejected, but she proposed On love day and it worked.... i wanted zeus to start dating a girl named brynlee patel but i gave him the noncommital trait so..... maybe they’ll just be fwb? and i was trying to get poseidon to start dating a girl named marie landgraab but by that time it was 2am in the game and he was about to collapse from exhaustion. we’ll try again later lmao

*i haven’t updated my master playlist of “songs that are very important to me” in about a year so i copy pasted the lyrics to the new songs i added and added them to my master document of lyrics for that specific playlist. i like to rewrite english translations of japanese songs because i like singing jp songs with english lyrics because i’m Not Confident singing in another language and also i’m a writer so rewriting things to fit a certain number of syllables is fun for me. so i had to rewrite half a song since half the song is already in english. and then i sang a little bit until i got tired and now i am laying on back because big oof

*i had a dream that the critrole cast was filming a special event at a local restaurant. they had this miniature town set up on the floor of the restaurant and it had figures and a moving train. i disguised my self as an older white woman and claimed i owned the restaurant and i set up my sheep plushies on the set because i love them and i wanted everyone to see them. the real owner of the restaurant came in and he was like “who is this woman, she’s not supposed to be here,” and i grabbed my sheep and Ran

*there was also a part of my dream where i was in a department store and a creepy man claimed he had me trapped and he used his powrs to make everything in the store disappear one by one while he smiled evilly.......

*4:01am

:3c

[missmaclay]

I could make this post about my entire 1,5 week trip through the UK, but I’m sure y’all only want to hear about the last day in Liverpool ;).

Quick recap of where I’ve been and what I’ve seen though; Telford (met Jeremy Jordan, David Harewood, Brit Morgan, Rahul Kohli and more), London (met Mehcad Brooks, Stephen Amell and much more), went to the Tower of London, Tower Bridge, Ripley’s, Wembley, Bath, Stonehenge, Windsor castle, Big Ben, Leicester square, Piccadilly and spend a lot of time in the Underground. Also saw the new Alien film AND Beauty and the Beast.

Anyway, that’s not what y’all wanna hear. Here’s my recap of May 29th;

I woke up in London after 2 days of HVFF. Went downstairs for my lovely UK brekkie (HASH BROWNS!) and then jumped in the shower and off I went. To Euston station to catch a train to Liverpool. Apparently, it was the first train to go straight to Liverpool from London that day, earlier ones were cancelled. Thank God I’d splurged on a first class ticket. I heard people had been standing the entire trip (2 hours!). Anyway, the train ride is beautiful. Would have been better if it hadn’t been raining, lol. 

Got to Liverpool a bit delayed due to a signal failure (uh-huh..) and the taxi stand at Liverpool Lime Street is insane. So many folks needed one. BUT I got to my hotel for around 4, thankfully. Since I was around the corner from the venue, I saw the Cavern already when the taxi dropped me off. Queue the nerves. The hotel was beautiful too. Beatles song playing as you walked in, lol. 

I hadn’t eaten since 9 am that morning so I Googled mapped the area and saw that there was a Gregg’s nearby. Perfect, sausage roll it is. I was there half an hour before closing time, but apparently they don’t care in Liverpool, because the door was locked. Oh well, a bag of crisps and an apple it is. Met up with @amyroot near the venue and we walked around a bit, the area is pretty cool!

Anyway we waited outside like we thought we had to when we were informed that the line had already started inside. We rushed downstairs and joined the queue. This was at 6pmish. 

The earlier concert started at 4pm and our gig was supposed to start at 8pm, but they were still doing M&Gs so everything ran a little late. No problem, everyone should get to do their M&G but my damn legs were killing me, lol. 

Pleasantly surprised there was some seating in the venue when we finally got in. Not near the front, but it’s OK, we could sit. I’ll upload some actual videos from the concert so I won’t talk about that, but them singing “Imagine” and then bringing Anni on stage were awesome.

Before the M&Gs started, they had an auction for St. Vincent’s school, all DC stuff. I have to admit that the two guys doing the auction were hilarious. Absolutely hilarious. They auctioned some stuff in the venue and said the rest would go online (haven’t seen it yet anywhere?)

Onto our M&Gs. I have no idea how many people were there but it seemed like a never ending line, lol. I think they started around 10/11ishpm with the first people. I think they first said you would get a photo, 1 minute to talk and 2 things to sign, but of course all of that went out the window pretty soon. They managed to have a pretty good system. First person you saw was Nathan (who gives amazing hugs), Gemma or Angelo would take your photo with Nathan, then when the person in front of you had finished talking with Chyler, you’d move onto her and get hugs, photos and autographs, etc. Pretty good system.

Nathan ended up walking/running around the hall and thanking people in line for their patience as it was taking soooo long. Folks who had to catch a bus/train/whatever were pushed to the front, that was a good idea. 

I was eating tic tacs by that time (it was nearing 1am and we were still in line) because I hadn’t had dinner, but they hadn’t either. Nathan was having a discussion with someone in line, leaning over the barrier when Chyler tried to get his attention for something. He was too focused on whoever he was talking to though, so he didn’t hear Chyler calling for him. Her calls for “babe. love. honey. love of my life.” were completely ignored until the guy (Neil?) from the Canvern lovingly shouted “Nathan darling!” very loudly, lol. THAT’s when he turned around. 

Around 2am we were finally at the front of the line. The security who ticked your name off of the VIP list was hilarious, too. All the staff were. Pronouncing my name for him the way it’s supposed to be didn’t help the poor guy. To be fair, I couldn’t understand him either. Damn accent, lol. 

Aaaaanyway, it was finally our turn and Nathan straight off the bat asked about my necklace and we proceeded to geek out for several minutes over PS4 games. We apparently took so long I looked passed him to see Chyler on her own, the person in front of me already left. Oops. I hugged Nathan (and in my haste forgot to take a photo with him) and rushed over to Chyler. Now. As I’m sure you can imagine, I cannot explain or descibe how that was. To see Chyler up close, giving her a hug, talking to her. No words. She asked what I was talking to Nathan about as we both looked so passionate about the subject, lol. She’s absolutely amazing. Gave her a massive bag of gummi bears and she loved it, lol. I printed off a photo from the I love you scene which she signed with “I <3 you” which... asdfghjkl. We chatted for a bit (fun fact; the dibs gun is NOT the gun her son drew, which she talked about at SDCC I think?) and I thanked her for coming over and doing these things, and she thanked ME for coming over. Can you believe that? Like, duh. Nathan was off to bathroom at that point so I moved to the side to give Amy some time with Chyler while I waited to Nathan to come back to get a double photo (him and Chyler) which we then did in turns. It was great.

We walked off to the side to collect everything and put photos etc. away when I realised I hadn’t had my photo with Nathan. I didn’t want to interrupt their whole thing they had going so we waiting until the very last person had gone (4 am people!) for us to go back and get the last photos. Nathan was very happy to oblige and we even snagged another one with Chyler as the lighting was pretty awful where we first were. I had to pull poor Chyler away from her McNuggets, that was probably the first food she’d seen since 3pm, lol. 

Managed to actually say what I wanted to say to Chyler at that time (I was so nervous before) and thanked her for everything she’s doing for us as a community and even though we have Twitter it’s impossible for her to see every reaction so I wanted to personally say we all appreciate how she fights for us. 

We got caught talking a bit to the people from Charity Pulse and St. Vincent’s too, lovely people. Ended up nearly cleaning out the venue as we were the last people there (those big boxes aren’t even that heavy). Nathan AGAIN thanked us for coming said we were ‘amazing’ and then we finally walked out of there.

It was 5am when I finally calmed down enough to goto sleep and I looked out my window and it was daylight already. 

When I woke up, everything hurt from so little sleep, of course. Went downstairs for my last day of UK brekkie (HASH BROWNS!). I walked over to the corner of the room as I didn’t want to take up a 4 person table by myself but I was shoo’d away to another side of the room as they’d already made up these tables for lunch. Well, okay, whatever. I plopped down at a 4 person table and as I look up I see Nathan and their 3 kids also enjoying a UK brekkie, they were staying at the same hotel as me, lol. 

As they left he recognized me and said hi and we wished eachother a good day and that was that. Spent some time shopping and then went to the airport (The driver was an Everton supporter, which isn’t good for me as a Liverpool supporter) and went home.

I’m a little flu-y now but I’m enjoying going through the videos and photos. It was an amazing day and they were very positive about doing a gig in Amsterdam so I hope to see them again very soon.

[swirlyrobe]

Jul 28, 2015

Details:

I got kicked out of middle school for almost throwing a chair at someone because I got jealous when I saw the girl I liked kiss some guy so,

after that i ended up in a special ed school and thats when i started listening to rap with dipset and stealing yugioh cards for money and robitussin to get high. when i was 16 i only had a couple good friends and everybody else just avoided me caus they were scared i was going to fight them and one of them steve (who’s 3 years younger than me) had me meet his (at the time) ex gf one day and i ended up getting my thing sucked>.> yea for the first time and then we planned to lose our virginity the next week. she brought her friend and we had a threesome tho my drugs caught up with me because i was on probation for beating somebody up on the bus and i kept getting dirty urines for weed so i went to rehab a couple weeks after

i never really had gfs in highschool other than that, there was only 5 girls in my special ed school, i was friends with most of them but they used me for drugs. i went to community college right after highschool and made friends rapping tho immediately got involved in a small crime ring of stealing video games from stores, selling them to gamestop to make a couple hundred daily as well as smoking a lot more weed (while still on probation for another assault) that didnt catch up with me yet tho when i was 19 this girl sabrina added me on facebook and i really liked her, ended up meeting her at the mall it was a really sweet date(we had fun getting physical😄) she wasn’t like everybody else because she didnt try to be normal. i had court coming up though i ended up smoking pcp for the first time and had a psychotic break where i thought this girl was her (who wasnt) and got arrested for unlawful restraint (i thought she was bugging out and i didnt want to leave until i knew what was wrong). i went to jail and got released to rehab again.

when i got out of rehab i went to outpatient rehab (i was 20 now) and met a woman heather who was 33. we dated and she bought a ring for me 3 months after to propose which i accepted because i was desperate and i thought i loved her though she asked if i was attracted to her and i honestly said only her face and not her body so she broke up with me. after that i started smoking again until i started talking to this girl Haley who lived the city over from me, she said she wanted a brother yet i really started liking her when we talked. this is when i really started realizing i liked younger girls and she ended up admitting she had a bf months after and lied to both of us. (i made a lot of songs about her😔😪){&2020 update about haley: we moved on with our lives and had never met though I talked to her a little on Facebook this year and, thankfully I wasn't as enamored and clingy😪}

there's a couple dozen other girls i dated/talked to between that and then there was bella who heard my music on an old social site called PHEED and i thought she was beautiful so i told her that and we talked. she lived in texas but we had intense convos she was really smart, beautiful, funny and we swore we would be together though i had to go to rehab again(this time inpatient in New London where, I lived in a sober house & got a job after) because i violated probation yet i wanted to test if she’d stay with me so i didnt tell her i went. about 4 months later when i was getting out of rehab i talked to her again and she acted like everything was alright and she had moved to NY as well as gotten a license and really had her life together. she said she loved me and was gonna drive to see me in new london so, I waited an hour for her to come until I talked to her and she said because I "played" her she was playing me so, not coming 😢😞(this was in 2014)

So in 2015 I was clean about a year so, I applied & got accepted for McNally Smith college of music (to major in audio production) in st Paul Minnesota where I Was clean for months until (for some reason I forgot but, probably running around fast) I got kicked out of my weightlifting gym out there so I was upset and, found some people @ a park near downtown st Paul smoking weed which I got in on and, ten weeks later I saw someone with dreads buying a dutch in a bodega so, I asked if he knew where to get weed and: It turned out he was a dealer so I ended up buying lot's of weed and trading for studio time for him to record but, I got caught smoking sometimes in my dorm & because I got in arguments with students and staff at college so, they warned me if I got in ANY fight in or, outside of school I would be expelled & I DID get expelled; probably because of the fight where I sent that guy who hit my head with a brick to the hospital (which drew a LOT of attention and PROBABLY was on the news)

Though they said it was because I got in too many arguments and, smoked too much weed in my dorm...

So I moved back with my grandma later in 2015 where I was until she kicked me out for smoking weed and k2 so, I was homeless In which I slept under a blanket near the library and, behind a church in hamden until, the church let me live in their garage when it became winter so I stayed there until early 2016 where, I moved to a spot in Hamden off the bike trail in the woods where I started with a one person tent until I stole a 8 person tent from Walmart and, uused a shopping cart to carry a bed my friend gave away down the bike trail to my spot and late I stole a propane heater plus propane powered stove so I stole an empty propane can outside of krauzers and I kept paying $20 to get it filled at The car wash up the street so I used it to cook ramen and, oatmeal on my stove and power my heater in the winter and I finally got clean in August 2016 while STILL homeless then completed a course to get into CTWORKS which helped me get nice used suits and an interview g for the job I got at Chipotle in December 2016 while, still homeless 😪 I told them I still lived at my grandmas and took showers at my friend's house until I got a la fitness membership with my first paycheck which was actually through the woods near my tent so, I took showers there EVERY morning & worked out there in addition to, at my tent where I still had a barbell set from my grandmas and, then in the spring of 2017 I applied to and, got a landscaping job I saw on the ctworks job search online so I woke up at 5am EVERY morning with a battery powered alarm clock I stole from Walmart and, caught the first Whitney bus that went downtown at 5:30 and, then I took the next train around 5:45 to go to milford where, the landscaping base is so I ran there when I got to Milford around 6am to get there on time by 6:30-45

So I worked there while I was still homeless and, I got approved for shelter plus Care which some people That lived in the woods near me told me about and, I got my apartment with 2 jobs off the post road behind dunkin donuts in West Haven so, I took The bus up the post road to get to BOTH jobs until, I saw a moped for sale from east haven on Craigslist for$200 in mid spring of 2017 which, I rode to my jobs on until, I got a drivers permit (coincidentally on the day I heard my grandma was dying so, I Went to her house and Watched her die 😥

Then I took drivers ed classes;

Then I started getting driving lessons in late spring 2017 until I learned to drive in a couple months so, I took the drivers test in summer 2017 and, then took motorcycle classes at north haven gateway (where I ran into my dr's receptionist Alexandra ai had a crush on (who I even had written and recorded a song about) then, my mom helped me get my 250 ninja from new Haven power sports so: I drove that to my jobs until my crash on August 6th 2019 which, I don't remember but, I woke up at the residential physical rehab hospital Gaylord where : I leave weekly what happened was I hit an suv on mg way to work, had a right brain stroke & broken pelvic also my left side was paralyzed and got contractures (where my left arm, fingers and left got really curled up and difficult to straighten so I'm still working on walking again 😥

(I'm getting botox injections to help my left side straighten and , I'm able to my left leg and arm though, they're really bent and my fingers are too bent for me to move, use,or, hold anything😪

So now I am living at my aunts waiting to get another apartment through my insurance agency while, I still get votox every 2 months unrtil I hopefully gain control and use of my left side😪 &, the ability to walk again...

I went from being REAL STRONG to, being weak (though I'm ljfting more with my right arm with a dumbbell then I used to!)

Either way: I'm a survivor!

💪🏽😁👍🏼