#i adore you safi!

[mambalae-s]

hi hi mamba, i want to start this off with a congrats and a thank you so much for putting in the work and the energy to do this event. i really appreciate it so much and i'm so so proud of you. you're doing wonderful, darling !

for your event, i actually can't decide myself so i'm going to give you the choice to pick for me between toji and satoru from jjk - (i really really hope you're not indecisive and are able to work well under pressure ! but you can let me know if you need me to choose one);

this might need a bit of a trigger warning, but something i'm still learning to love about myself is my weight and my body. i kinda struggle with my eating habits a little bit sometimes and i won't go into detail but it's something that i'm working on :)

as far as my personality goes, i would describe myself as someone who speaks her mind and usually doesn't hold back from doing so (mostly bc i think honesty is the best policy in any kind of relationship). and um this might be kind of contradicting, but at the same time i also isolate myself from loved ones when i'm feeling down or pressured and keep everything to myself bc i don't like arguing/conflict. my friends describe me as having a sarcastic sense of humour and say that i roll my eyes a lot but they also think i'm very very sweet because i flirt with them often just for fun hehe. i'm mostly an introvert because i need to have my alone time but when i'm feeling charged then i'm able to make friends very very quickly. and my dad says it's because i'm empathetic and always know what to say when it comes to ppl hehe. (ahh this is getting too long... i just love talking about myself. i'll try wrapping it up quickly!) some other things you should know about me: i'm a hopeless romantic, don't like horror, am a total daydreamer, i write romance, fanfiction, and poetry, pink is my favourite colour, i'm a lipgloss/lipstick addict (and collect them for fun even when i don't need them), spring is my favourite season, my love language is physical touch, i'm an infp, and if it's important for the moodboard i'm south asian!

let's keep this sfw for ease, so i'll end it by describing my dream date with both men. you can then choose which one you'll do!

1. i know satoru's really really tall, but i just picture toji being taller and bigger in my head so i have this headcanon that i'm like half his size (for reference, i'm 5'3-ish) and in my head we are just grumpy x sunshine couple all the way. dream date with toji would be us going to the amusement park (my fav place on earth) and just being kids tbh. i'd force him to wear cutesy animal headbands and ride the rollercoaster and the ferris wheel with me and we'd stand in long long lines just talking and he would probably whine and complain about everything but he'd put up with it for me (also i'd probably manipulate him with my big eyes and my own bratty attitude ^^)

2. with satoru, i feel like since he's pretty childish in a relationship, i'd definitely act more bossy/mature with him as a result. (he'd look so pretty taking orders, wouldn't he?) dream date with satoru would just be a stay at home date. we'd start off by cooking dinner and dessert together, then have a spa night, and end it by doing a disney movie marathon together. he's so money i just have the urge to show him that we can do things without spending so much or going out to fancy restaurants and stuff.

anyway, i'm sorry for making this so long. as you can tell, i'm a talker. i'll leave the choice up to you for which boy to pick, but i just want to say thank you in advance. i love u sm mamba. congrats again baby doll <33

my beloved safi!! my dearest angel!! i’m so so soooo excited to do your request!! genuinely kicked my feet and did a little dancy dance when i saw your ask and i started searching for your pics as early as 4am before work! as soon as you mentioned sunshine x grumpy, you’d gotten me on team toji! im gonna make the prettiest, cutest, sweetest boards and scenarios for you, because you truly are as bright as the sun and you deserve the world! hugging you sooooo warmly!

also please don’t feel bad for telling me as much as you did!’ it makes me happy to learn about you all during these little events!

╰┈➤ cherry blossom lips — safi x toji

╰┈➤ song — pov by ariana grande

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 one of the first things that really drew toji to you was your smile. he finds the way your eyes light up and crinkle ever so slightly ever so enchanting. he’s so entirely enraptured, you have no idea just how much!

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 i’ve said this for others as well, but toji’s also the kind of lover who is very attentive to you and your likes. i also think that he spoils you quite a bit! he’ll take note of your collection of lipglosses and lipsticks and whenever he’s out, he always keeps his eyes open for ones that he thinks you’ll like.

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 if you only ask him once, he’ll help you pick out a lovely combination for your days and contemplates very intensely on what look he thinks would work well! he’s very involved surprisingly and loves to see the way you switch things up every now and then, and finds it really cute when you keep returning to favourites time and time again.

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 i also think he’d be very playful and loves to kiss your glossy lips, if only to taste the sweet flavours as he licks the tint from his own lips, keeping his eyes locked on yours with your chin between his fingers as he tells you how sweet you taste.

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 he’s very perceptive to you and your feelings and always looks out for you as best as he can. he knows just how much you care for others around him, and him especially, always making sure that he’s alright, asking him about his day and of anything that he may have on his mind.

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 he might not be very vocal about it, but his way of reassuring you is at first to pull you in for a long hug. he rests his chin on top of your head and just holds you close to him, hands stroking your back and waist and taking slow, deep breaths so that you’ll follow his lead. especially during moments when he notices you quietly hurting, he’ll always mutter loving reassurances that he’s here for you, and that you don’t have to push yourself to talk to him until you’re ready — just know that he’s there for you

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 he also knows how much you try to show yourself love, especially when it comes to your body. toji can tell whenever you’re having a hard time showing yourself the love he feels for you, and his way of reminding you of that love is by initiating physical contact in very intimate ways!

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 not intimate as in sexual, but he’ll lay down with you and shower your entire body with kisses, reaching beneath your clothes with his fingers and taking his time to let each kiss linger, with little whispers of everything he loves, every part of you that you’re still learning to love on yourself. like i said, he’s extremely intentional, so know that all of those kisses and light touches are overflowing with love he feels deep inside his heart, because he’ll be there to love you until — and even after — you’ve fully grown to love yourself the way he does

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 when you ask him one day to visit an amusement park with you, he doesn’t think twice about saying yes! sure, he might act like he has zero interest in wearing those cute headbands with you, but he’d do anything just to make you happy!

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 sure, he’ll say that it won’t look good on him and that it’ll make him look silly, but how can he say no to those pleading eyes and pouty lips of yours? in the end, he’ll let you stuff his mouth full of cotton candy and grumble as you set cute mickey mouse ears atop his head — and don’t tell anyone, but he melts like putty at the way you light up and boop his nose, a little red faced as you tell him how cute he looks

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 he’ll even match with you to wear pink themed outfits! if it’s a colder time of the year when you both go, he’ll buy you both pink lilo onesies ahead of time so that you can wear them together! absolutely loves the pictures you both take and sets them as your contact photo, his wallpaper, all so that he can see the way you smile at the camera while his soft gaze is trained on you

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 now this is a secret, but toji gets a little squeamish in high places, so he’s a little nervous at first about going on the roller coasters and ferris wheels, but it’s all so worth it as he gets to hear your joyful squeals and laughter, watching your eyes crinkle as you belt out all these happy noises. the fact that you’re enjoying yourself makes him all the more pleased and he takes his own enjoyment purely from you.

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 he knows how you love the romantic things in life, so he takes you to the biggest ferris wheel in the park at night when all the lights shine like colourful stars. he wraps his arm around you and admires you admiring the scene around you, leaning into his embrace and just taking in the moment. he can’t stop himself from thinking just how precious you are to him, how much he loves you, and would absolutely tear the world apart to keep you safe.

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 when your cart reaches the highest point of the ride, he lets himself go and pulls you in for a sweet kiss, letting it last for seconds that feel like years and mere moments to him as he drinks you in for all that you are, pouring into you every poem he’s secretly written in his heart for you. he whispers to you how much you love him, “until the end of time, safi… i’ll always love you, even after then.”

mamba celebrates 100 followers — jjk and haikyuu selfship event!

[wishmemel]

hey safi lovey, i noticed you’re a stay and i need to know which other groups you like (never beating the kpop stan allegations i fear)

hihi my love !! this is in my “me” page as well but i’ll never give up a chance to talk kpop 🤭

recently i’ve been into ive because of wonyoung (she is soooo everything), ive watched some of their content and think yujin and leeseo are so cute too im > <

ive also been into g-idle, they’re super chaotic and i love them as a group (and their music), i just have a super hard time picking a bias!

i’m also into newjeans cause i love love love their music and le sserafim who’s music i also love! the newjeans members are so cute and around my age too so it’s fun watching them and le sserafim’s girls are adorable! i especially love yunjin and eunchae !!

this is getting so long i’m sorry, but last on my list is enhypen !! the boys are all adorable and i love their dynamic, they’re just so fun. n of course im into jake cause the australian accent just does it for me im > <

i’m also looking into txt but ive only seen like 1 or 2 interviews so i wouldn’t rlly count them yet!

okay i’ve babbled enough now, it’s your turn !!! especially if you have any groups you’d recommend, i’d love to get into more !! i rlly wanna hear about which groups you’re into n who your biases are <33

[gojoroui]

hihi new mootie it’s sooo good to meet you, i’m just so so obsessed with your adorable theme and your new name like wdym bambi !!! kicking my feet, giggling, that is the cutest thing i’ve ever heard in my life like !!!

gonna make my way through your masterlist so i hope to see more of u soon !! stay hydrated and well rested <33

waah hello new mootie <33 it’s nice to meet you too !! i js noticed ur post that u weren’t a fan of not being replied back to in 0.2 seconds (╥﹏╥) im rlly srry abt that … been trying to put my posting schedule on queue, but i literally can’t get off my studying schedule either :(( and i have to get ready for my first year at uni >;( which means more work …

BUT TYSM !!! im covered in bliss by ur compliments rn > < AND TY AGAIN ur making me so overwhelmed and happy !! i act chose bambi bc my friends based it / nickname me off of my name in my nationality, since the name is similar to bambi !! + safi is such a cute name too 🥹 i luv it !! and same to you, ill also be making my way to ur masterlist !! hopefully to read more of ur amazing works <33 sending back love !

[luvsavos]

Oh damn…yeah on the “Aiden has killed a guy” thing we definitely disagree 😅 I gotta say, the concept of turning INTO an Elder Dragon is seriously something else…and it’s so neat that you also LOTG…I was like “hey how come at the end Aiden’s a solemn and then you see him at the beginning of World and he’s like “heyyyyy”. And she’s like “probably trying to be cool”. Still love how he sees you sitting alone and is like “absolutely not :)” ah, hold on, lemme continue this in another ask 😅

worry not this is absolutely wonderful i love talking in depth/length about characters like this<3

honestly my main backing for saying he's had to kill someone is two things: a) i like to make my faves suffer and having to kill another person would weigh VERY heavily on aiden, b) guild knights already do that as is, so while it's definitely FAR more likely that aiden was tasked with Just going around to help protect people, it Is a possibility and i use that to my advantage to make him suffer<3 i'd say he's fine but [gently pats the top of his head] this bad boy can fit so much repressed trauma in it LMAO

aiden was, i believe, the second instance of someone getting poofed into an elder dragon by vodrem; everyone else was just normal monsters (shang was an anjanath, and ended up keeping the alt form because he looked like the anja that raised him, the admiral was a tigrex, the huntsman was an acidic glavenus, the tracker was an odogaron, the seeker was the other elder dragon, an eo garudia; i don't THINK there were others but this was over a year ago and my memory is fuzzy</3 achilles also ended up getting poofed into an elder dragon at some point after the guild arc part 2, a xeno and then safi'jiiva, after aiden got spooked back into the fatalis form and let him drain some of his energy to speed up the molting process. he also ended up keeping the safi form, albeit by choice, so now he's just kinda this fucked up Black Dragon Lite™️ safi with primarily black colouration and dark red mottling and purple energy, i actually have a drawing i did of it somewhere as a ref for my friend, he is Very Pretty😌) i chose fatalis primarily because of how heavily i associate aiden with fatty (thanks iceborne) but also since i thought itd be interesting to explore a kind and outgoing and bubbly character like him grappling with the innate violence and rage of a fatalis... yet again making him suffer LMAO. to give him credit, he's done a good job at it, mostly because he typically just ends up being an oversized skittish cat who refuses to actually use any of the fatalis capabilities (save for flying, which he does admittedly enjoy). pancaketalis<3 i'll draw him fatalis'ed eventually, once i figure out how to texture the burn scars since they wouldn't be all that visible bc of the black scales

i definitely see aiden as the kind of person who doesn't, like, really Want to Let others see any solemness or whatnot from him most of the time; he's energetic, excitable, social and outgoing, and wants to maintain that---he doesn't want people to worry over him, i think. after all, he's usually the one that's trying to cheer everyone else up and support them, which may sort of be a way to try to deal with his own issues, in a way? me too buddy me too

i also adore how he's introduced in world, i think it's part of what got me to like him so much tbh. him immediately gravitating towards the one person sitting alone that didn't appear to have anyone else but their palico around with them, because everyone should feel included and welcomed, and while everyone else is already eating and talking away the player character is just sorta There, so of course, he strikes up a conversation, because that's what he does<3 nobody gets left out or left behind

(sidenote: i love that the fatalis pre-cutscene mirrors the intro cutscene. chefs fucking kiss im so normal about that)

[margumis]

mars omg i’m loving the new theme pretty girl — it’s so soft and elegant n i’m in love <33

my gorgeous safi!!! thank you so much :((( I absolutely adore your theme its so precious and im loving all the tay references !!! how are you my love?

[alwynthetiredreader]

2032 RELEASES I'M MOST EXCITED FOR!

Ander and Santi Were Here by Jonny Garza Villa

Fifteen Hundred Miles is just one of my favorite books ever so I cannot wait for this, especially considering there's a nonbinary LI!! Bless Jonny.

ALSO HAVE YOU SEEN THAT COVER????

Travelers Along The Way by Aminah Mae Safi

Tell Me How You Really Fell is also one of my favorites and so far, it looked like Aminah Mae Safi had only written contemporaries?? so this looks like a fun change, it's a fantasy robin hood remix, very fun!

Heavenly Tyrant by Xiran Jay Zhao

again,,, another writer who wrote one of my favorites, and actually I'm obsessed with Iron Widow, there's a movie in the works that I'm just so hyped for and Xiran is coming to ComicCon in Portugal in December and i got tickets for it, I'm just AAAAAAAAA

but either way, the sequel looks fantastic, that cover? *chefs kiss* AND XIRAN SAID IN AN INTERVIEW THE SEQUEL HAS MATH LESBIANS!!

Breakup From Hell by Ann Dávila Cardinal

that cover was very quick to catch my eye tbh and then i found out the author and MC are latine so i was sold, but also that's one hell of a premise! HS girl tired of everything meets guy who seems to have this strange influence on her and then she finds out he's sorta like the devil?! so now she needs to break up with him sjfbsadkhbdg it sounds amazing

Love Letters From Joy by Melissa See

from a disabled author, with ace rep like come on... look at the female MC with her little ace flag tote bag, again was sold very quickly

AND IT'S ACADEMIC RIVALS TO LOVERS?!?!

The Wicked Bargain by Gabe Cole Novoa

Queer latine pirates was all I needed tbh. And again, gorgeous cover!

The Fraud Squad by Kyla Zhao

I had the pleasure of helping this author do a cover reveal with a book trailer and everything, I'm patiently waiting for this one. It's like a Singaporean The Devil Wears Prada and I'm all for it

The Haunting of Alejandra by V. Castro

Of course there's another latine book on the list, this one a gothic horror based on the folklore of La Llorona!

Sorry, Bro by Taleen Voskuni

Armenian sapphics... set in Armenia!! With an MC learning to embrace all of her identities, it sounds amazing and beautiful cover as well.

Always The Almost by Edward Underhill

TRANS REP!!! TRANS REP ALERT!!!

It's faking dating, one of them is a pianist and the other a cartoonist, omfg i already know I'll love this one so much

The Wrong King of Weird by James Ramos

Again, cover caught my eye instantly and it's by a nonbinary author!!!

Set in high school, it also looks like it's gonna be dealing with racism one way or the other. The art style on the cover is gorgeous and the characters look very interesting, I'm excited to meet them

The Dark Place by Britney S. Lewis

I absolutely adored The Undead Truth of Us and I was waiting for this announcement for a couple of months, and obviously, that cover doesn't disappoint. I don't even need to know what this one is about, i'll buy anything Britney writes

[stealstaff]

A new muse means a new chance for me to get back into my love of costume analysis so here is Tina’s time to shine!

First off this girls dresses like the background character in a Bible story on VHS from the 80′s that’s been collecting dust on a shelf at your church for years and I adore it.  I’ve also said the same thing about OG Marth but he looks specifically like he would be David of the And Goliath fame whereas Tina would be like idk laying palms down for Jesus.  Idk why but I’m all about this aesthetic for her.

Now for the serious business.

If you put the three Tahran girls in a line up it’s so easy to point out which one does not belong.  Safy and Linoan both wear long, elegant, flowing robes.  You see them and immediately go Healer.  Safy looks more clericy which makes sense to me since Linoan is also Big Important Noble.  But this ain’t about them this is about Tina.  She looks sooooo drastically different and I think it’s pretty easy to figure out why.

She gets her lil outfit when she’s with the Dandelion Gang!  Think about it.  It makes sense.  It looks very much like oh we just had a big t-shirt lying around and now we’ve got this little kid here who needs something clean to wear.  I think that Tina was probably shown a pile of clothes like here grab what you want.  And then she gets to kind of explore her own personal Tina style for the first time and she loves it.  She craves freedom to follow her whims and being stuck in a nun in training habit does not really allow for this.  I love this lil accessories too.  A gold bracelet, a headband.  She’s teen girling it up.  She totally stole that bracelet btw.

Then she’s got this outfit for cipher art.  This is what she would wear normally in her lil convent with the girls.  Not quite as flowing and elegant as what Safy wears but Tina is still in training.  She’s not a full fledged cleric and boy does she not really actually want to be.  

Then I’ve had a lot of specific thoughts about TOA Tina and her Officer’s Academy uniform.  I wanted something that felt very Catholic school and young.  I also really just like 80′s vibes for her.  It’s the hair.  So Fodlan Tina would wear something like this except, you know, not plaid and with the golden designs on the skirt.  I think she’d rock some yellow knee socks and like black loafers.  Heathers vibes to pull in the 80′s some more.  Plus she’s a funky kid who is not afraid to experiment with color.

And that’s my thoughts about Tina.

[y2kuromi]

mimi hii !! i feel like i don’t drop enough into your inbox cause im super busy w school these days but i just saw your tag and wanted to let you know that you’re genuinely the sweetest :((

also just noticed your new theme?? im so in awe it’s stunning lovely girl im just awestruck !! its so beachy and makes me think of cocktails and beach volleyball i love it all sm — esp your header w satoru !! literally the cutest

stay hydrated and well rested, okay? i love u lots <33

ahhhh hi hi safi ml <33 i missed you sm!! tysm for dropping by!! dw i understand, school's keeping me busy asw && exam season is the absolute worstttt. make sure to take care of yourself :D

you're too kind thank youuuu <3 missing summer sosososo much rn alsoo i adore your bang chan theme he's so AHKSHKSKS. thank youuu safi !! love you sm mwahh 💓

[wishmemel]

happy new year new moot safi! im literally geeking because of your tumblr theme it’s sosoososo pretty. the taylor references >>> i was reading your about me and my mouth went wide open bc the “i wanna be defined by the things i love” and “not the things i hate” was so smart 😭 ugh i love your brain. looking forward to our future interactions! muah! <3

sobbing you’re so sweet i saw you like sanrio and jake from enhypen and my mind went yes yes yes nd your little theme is sooo adorable it makes me think of matcha. i’m so obsessed with the colour akdjsjdjd.

but thank u kaori !! happy new year to you too !! i am on hiatus rn but ill definitely be trying to be more active in the next few months so i can see what you’re up to hehe <33

mwah, enjoy the new year and i can’t wait to see more of you soon lover <33

[thevoidwell]

The witchlands characters and how they're viewed once they go down in history (you can do either how history books would describe them or "Look I don't care if they were the cahr awen, nobody needs to be on fifteen pages of a text book")

Safi - The books mostly focus on the fact that she’s half of the Cahr Awen and a Truthwitch, since that’s a very rare witchery.  At the end of the section on her, it would say something about how, for someone with no interest in politics, she had ties to nearly every ruler (she was childhood friends with Leopold, is romantically involved with Vivia’s brother, and is friends with Vaness)

Iseult - They talk about her Weaverwitchery equally as much as her status as the Cahr Awen, because it’s something few people understand.  A lot of text is dedicated to her interactions with Esme, the only other known Weaverwitch of her time, to compare and contrast the two.  Historians emphasize the fact that she originally thought her magic was weak because she wasn’t a normal Threadwitch

Merik - They tend to exaggerate how powerful his witchery is, but for the most part it’s pretty factual.  A lot of it deals with his Windwitch redemption arc in realizing that not everything is about him, as a lot of historians openly admire him from stepping aside and recognizing that Vivia deserves the throne and is best for Nubrevna

Aeduan - He’s Eridysi’s son, so that’s a big deal and is treated as such in the history books.  The fact that he’s a Bloodwitch and a Carawen monk is obviously important too, but people are most intrigued by who is mother is and what that means for him

Vivia - She would be remembered as the queen who stood up to her father and the vizers, restored Nubrevna to its former glory, and brought more women into positions of power.  The history books would remember her very fondly and so would anyone studying the past of Nubrevna

Stix - Fairly typical:  she was a Paladin, and the captain for the queen of Nubrevna

Kullen - Historians really emphasize the irony of his Airwitchery and his asthma.  Like, a lot.  Oh, yeah, and they suppose he was like a Paladin and stuff.  Most of the parts describing him are talking about the paradox of his magic and health and really think about it, if you consider - 

Ryber - She would figure very prominently in them, since she is the glue that holds everybody together and also determined what the hell was going on for everyone.  She’d be highly respected by historians

Cam - He’d only be mentioned a few times in Merik’s section, when talking about how he helped him

Vaness - About how she is now:  intimidating, mysterious, and somebody that you absolutely want to know personally in spite of the fact that she could kill you instantaneously.  Once you topple a mountain at age seven, there’s really no way to seem mundane from there

Leopold - I really don’t think the history books could describe him as well as Susan Dennard did on Twitter:  “an enigma wrapped in an enigma.”  They would take note of the fact that he was very charming, and that he did a lot of contradictory things and no one ever really knew what his deal was

Caden - Pretty typical.  He’s the commander of the Hell-Bard brigade, befriended half of the Cahr Awen and protected her from the emperor.  Footnote:  “Some records seem to indicate that fitz Grieg was at least indirectly responsible for an event prior to the breaking of the Truce that was the exigence for Safiya fon Hasstrel fleeing Veñaza City.  It has never been confirmed whether these rumors are based in fact, and, if so, the details of the event.”

Lev - She and Zan would probably only be mentioned briefly.  It would be notable that she helped out a lot in the war, but she’d be made famous for basically having a constant death wish judging by her behavior

Zander - Same as Lev except a bit more sensible

Lizl - The history books would love her.  I could honestly picture it in my head, actually - the description of her bringing the insurgents to the Carawen monastery would probably be dramatized but in an amazing way.  She’d be remembered as a hero and the historians would adore talking about it over and over

Owl - Terrifying Paladin child with a pet mountain bat

[faraway-wanderer]

QUEER YA READS happy pride month here’s a list of lots of queer YA books!!

-          The Henna Wars- Abida Jaigirdar When Nishat comes out to her parents, they say she can be anyone she wants—as long as she isn’t herself. Because Muslim girls aren’t lesbians. Nishat doesn’t want to hide who she is, but she also doesn’t want to lose her relationship with her family. And her life only gets harder once a childhood friend walks back into her life. Flávia is beautiful and charismatic and Nishat falls for her instantly. Amidst sabotage and school stress, their lives get more tangled—but Nishat can’t quite get rid of her crush on Flávia, and realizes there might be more to her than she realized

-          Red, White and Royal Blue- Casey Mcquinston   First Son Alex Claremont-Diaz is the closest thing to a prince this side of the Atlantic. With his intrepid sister and the Veep’s genius granddaughter, they’re the White House Trio, a beautiful millennial marketing strategy for his mother, President Ellen Claremont. International socialite duties do have downsides—namely, when photos of a confrontation with his longtime nemesis Prince Henry at a royal wedding leak to the tabloids and threaten American/British relations.

-          You should see me in a crown- Leah Johnson Liz Lighty has always believed she's too black, too poor, too awkward to shine in her small, rich, prom-obsessed midwestern town. But it's okay -- Liz has a plan that will get her out of Campbell, Indiana, forever: attend the uber-elite Pennington College, play in their world-famous orchestra, and become a doctor.But when the financial aid she was counting on unexpectedly falls through, Liz's plans come crashing down . . . until she's reminded of her school's scholarship for prom king and queen

-          Tell me How you Really Feel- Aminah Mae Safi Sana Khan is a cheerleader and a straight A student. She's the classic (somewhat obnoxious) overachiever determined to win.Rachel Recht is a wannabe director who's obsesssed with movies and ready to make her own masterpiece. As she's casting her senior film project, she knows she's found the perfect lead - Sana.There's only one problem. Rachel hates Sana. Rachel was the first girl Sana ever asked out, but Rachel thought it was a cruel prank and has detested Sana ever since.

-          Like a love story- Abdi Nazemian It's 1989 in New York City, and for three teens, the world is changing.

-          I Wish You All the Best- Mason Deaver At turns heartbreaking and joyous, I Wish You All the Best is both a celebration of life, friendship, and love, and a shining example of hope in the face of adversity.

-          The Falling in Love Montage- Ciara Smyth Saoirse doesn’t believe in love at first sight or happy endings. If they were real, her mother would still be able to remember her name and not in a care home with early onset dementia. A condition that Saoirse may one day turn out to have inherited. So she’s not looking for a relationship. She doesn’t see the point in igniting any romantic sparks if she’s bound to burn out. But after a chance encounter at an end-of-term house party, Saoirse is about to break her own rules. For a girl with one blue freckle, an irresistible sense of mischief, and a passion for rom-coms.

-          The Fascinators- Andrew Eliopulos Living in a small town where magic is frowned upon, Sam needs his friends James and Delia—and their time together in their school's magic club—to see him through to graduation.But as soon as senior year starts, little cracks in their group begin to show. Sam may or may not be in love with James. Delia is growing more frustrated with their amateur magic club. And James reveals that he got mixed up with some sketchy magickers over the summer, putting a target on all their backs.

-          The Dark Tide- Alicia Jaskina The Wicked Deep meets A Curse So Dark and Lonely in this gripping, dark fairy-tale fantasy about two girls who must choose between saving themselves, each other, or their sinking island city

-          Summer of Salt – Katrina Leno Georgina Fernweh waits with growing impatience for the tingle of magic in her fingers—magic that has been passed down through every woman in her family. Her twin sister, Mary, already shows an ability to defy gravity. But with their eighteenth birthday looming at the end of this summer, Georgina fears her gift will never come.

-          Sawkill Girls- Claire Legrand Marion: the new girl. Awkward and plain, steady and dependable. Weighed down by tragedy and hungry for love she’s sure she’ll never find. Zoey: the pariah. Luckless and lonely, hurting but hiding it. Aching with grief and dreaming of vanished girls. Maybe she’s broken—or maybe everyone else is. Val: the queen bee. Gorgeous and privileged, ruthless and regal. Words like silk and eyes like knives, a heart made of secrets and a mouth full of lies.

-          The Priory of the Orange Tree- Samantha Shannon A world divided. A queendom without an heir. An ancient enemy awakens. The House of Berethnet has ruled Inys for a thousand years. Still unwed, Queen Sabran the Ninth must conceive a daughter to protect her realm from destruction – but assassins are getting closer to her door. Ead Duryan is an outsider at court. Though she has risen to the position of lady-in-waiting, she is loyal to a hidden society of mages. Ead keeps a watchful eye on Sabran, secretly protecting her with forbidden magic. Across the dark sea, Tané has trained to be a dragonrider since she was a child, but is forced to make a choice that could see her life unravel.

-          I was Born for this- Alice Oseman For Angel Rahimi, life is only about one thing: The Ark – a pop-rock trio of teenage boys who are currently taking the world by storm. Being part of The Ark’s fandom has given her everything – her friendships, her dreams, her place in the world. Jimmy Kaga-Ricci owes everything to The Ark too. He’s their frontman – and playing in a band is all he’s ever dreamed of doing. It’s just a shame that recently everything in his life seems to have turned into a bit of a nightmare.

-          Summer Bird Blue  Akemi Dawn Bowman- Bowman’s sophomore novel follows Rumi, a young musician plagued with grief and survivor’s guilt after her younger sister is killed in a car crash. Her mother sends her to liver with her aunt in Hawaii, and is also now mourning the loss of the music she would create with her sister and is unable to recapture her passion. As she navigates her loss, and feelings of abandonment from her mother, Rumi is also starting new relationships with neighbors, one a cute, easygoing surfer boy, and the other a irascible 80-year-old crankypants, while also becoming comfortable with her aromantic and asexual feelings.An immersive aromantic, asexual journey through grief and understanding.

-          Felix Ever after- Kacen Callender   a novel about a transgender teen grappling with identity and self-discovery while falling in love for the first time.

-          The Stars and The Blackness Between Them - Junauda Petrus Audre and Mabel, Black girls who find romance just in time for everything to fall even further apart.

-          By any means necessary- Candice Montgomery By Any Means Neccesary dives into the intersection of race and sexuality through the lens of its main character, Torrey, a gay Black college student.

-          Her Royal Highness -Rachel Hawkins- When Millie Quint discovers her best friend-turned-girlfriend has been kissing someone else, she decides to get as far away from her as possible – by going to boarding school on the opposite side of the globe. The only issue? Millie’s new roomate is the actual princess of Scotland.

-          Tash Hearts Tolstoy - Kathryn Omsbee, Natasha Zelenka (Tash), is a serious fangirl of Leo Tolstoy and a rising YouTube star with her webseries Unhappy Families, a modern-day adaptation of Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina, and Vlog, Tea with Tash. When a famous vlogger gives a shout out to the series, it goes viral. Now she, along with the cast and crew, are finding what it means to be a hit sensation and are managing the adoration, and the trolls, coming their way. Tash, a romantic asexual, has had a long time crush on the hit vlogger star Thom, who, as her online popular grows, so does Thom’s attention. Amidst the fame and romance, Tash is also dealing with her older sister creating distance, her parents announcing a new sibling on the way, college applications, the impending end of the series, and the big “What’s next.”An asexual romantic comedy coming of age.

-          Full Disclosure- Camryn Garratt Camryn Garrett’s debut novel follows a Black, HIV-positive teen as she explores her first romantic relationship. There are few books that discuss what it’s like to live with HIV, especially those that are light, relatable, and told through the lens of a young Black girl.

-          The Black Flamingo- Dean Atta Atta pens a coming-of-age story about a boy accepting his identity as a mixed-race gay teen, but then finds a place where he belongs as a drag artist named The Black Flamingo.

-          Juniper Leaves- Jaz Joyner   Kinky-haired  Juniper Bray used to believe in magic, until she lost her best friend: her grandmother. Now this 15-year-old shy girl is headed to her father's research trip on a farm hundreds of miles away, with a family she barely knows and the opposite of a best friend, her new arch nemesis, Bree Mckinney. As if she wasn't miserable enough. Little does she know the next few months Juniper will discover magical powers she never knew she had, get a crush on a girl she never knew she'd like and well, quite frankly, save the world.

-          Crier’s War - Nina Varela ‘In a world where humans are dominated by superior Automae, one human girl called Ayla takes the role of handmaiden to the Automae Lady Crier in order to help the human rebellion. But to Ayla’s horror, she finds herself falling for Crier.’

-          Queen of Coin and Whispers  Helen Corcoran -When a teenage queen inherits her uncle’s bankrupt kingdom, she brings with her a new spymaster – a girl who only accepted the role to avenge her murdered father. But faced with enemies at every turn, the two learn to rely on no one but each other . . . though it may bring their downfall.

-          Huntress- Malinda Lo – Ill fortune has befallen the land, and two girls have been tasked with the mission of setting things right. As Kaede and Taisin journey to the city of the Fairy Queen, adventure and romance awaits.

-          This Song Is (Not) for You - Laura Nowlin- This is not your usual love triangle. Ramona has been in love with her best friend and bandmate Sam for a long time, Sam has also been in love Ramona. When Tom joins the band, he completes them. Now Ramona is starting to have feelings for Tom, and those feelings are reciprocated. Tom is a romantic asexual, whose asexuality is fully explored

-          Seven Tears at High Tide-  C.B. Lee – After Kevin Luong drops, yup, seven tears into the sea, he ends up rescuing a boy from the waters. It’s love at first sight for Morgan who, unknown to Kevin, is a Selkie.

-          Loveless -Alice Oseman- (out on the 9th July!!) Georgia has never been in love, never kissed anyone, never even had a crush – but as a fanfic-obsessed romantic she’s sure she’ll find her person one day.As she starts university with her best friends, Pip and Jason, in a whole new town far from home, Georgia’s ready to find romance, and with her outgoing roommate on her side and a place in the Shakespeare Society, her ‘teenage dream’ is in sight. But when her romance plan wreaks havoc amongst her friends, Georgia ends up in her own comedy of errors, and she starts to question why love seems so easy for other people but not for her. With new terms thrown at her – asexual, aromantic – Georgia is more uncertain about her feelings than ever.

-          The Last Beginning- Lauren James-  (you probably need to read the next together first which I HIGHLY recommend) Sixteen years ago, after a scandal that rocked the world, teenagers Katherine and Matthew vanished without a trace. Now Clove Sutcliffe is determined to find her long lost relatives.But where do you start looking for a couple who seem to have been reincarnated at every key moment in history? Who were Kate and Matt? Why were they born again and again? And who is the mysterious Ella, who keeps appearing at every turn in Clove's investigation? For Clove, there is a mystery to solve in the past and a love to find in the future, and failure could cost the world everything.

[gilded-moon]

Concept: any witchlands ship happening and one of them deciding to cook for the other but it doesn't end well

Oh my gosh yes.

Safi x Merik- “Why is everything wet?” “Dinner didn’t go as planned.” “What did you do?!” “I accidentally caught the soup on fire so I threw water on it to put the fire out.” “How?!?!” “Hey it’s very easy. Anyway want the pizza I ordered?”

Aeduan x Iseult- Aeduan tries to make a nice dinner. He does fairly well with only a few minor accidents until Iseult walks by, kisses his cheek, and says she can’t wait to taste what he made. Aeduan proceeds to drop the entire meal all over the floor because he gets so flustered. Iseult makes a point to do something like that everytime Aeduan cooks after that because she thinks it’s adorable.

Vivia x Stix- Stix can’t see. She swaps sugar and salt, cinnamon and paprika, if it can be mistaken for something else she does it. As a result the food tastes disgusting amd they both spit it out when they take the first bite. Vivia is grateful for Stix trying but she makes Stix promise to never do it again.

Ryber x Kullen- Kullen tries his best but he is just not good at it. He burns the meal, forgets to season it, and if he had to ask Vivia to put out a small fire with her witchery well that’s his business. Still he brings the meal to Ryber all while covered in flour even though there was no flour in the recipe. Once she stops laughing she shows him how to do it properly.

Safi x Caden- The fire department had to be called. No cooking by Safi or Caden was ever attempted again. It’s take out, dinner at a restaurant or ask for Zander or Iseult to help because they won’t set the kitchen on fire or cause some other disaster.

Vivia x Vaness- Vaness tries but she has no idea what she is doing. There is flour everywhere and none of the vegetables are cut up properly. Quite a few attempts are made before Vaness accepts that she cannot cook and takes Vivia to dinner instead. Vaness never tells Vivia. Ever.

Vaness x Lev- Lev almost burned the Marstoki palace. Vaness that it was cute that Lev tried to cook for her but Vaness never allows Lev near a kitchen again unless it’s to pick up food. Palaces are expensive. Vaness can’t afford to rebuild everytime Lev attempts to cook.

[thatwasthenightthingschanged]

Sarah’s lgbt faves

my post about me posting my list got like two notes so :D this goes out to the two ppl who wanted to see my lgbt media faves, yay! also, there’s a version of this list including German ppl so if anyone wants those too, lmk!

YouTuber

- Dutchy

→ one of my fav lgbt youtubers, she’s bi and she’s one of my no1 sources for gay content and memes

-Stevie

→ a classic amongst wlws

-Sufi & Anjali

→ an inter-religious wlw couple and they are SO adorable, honestly I mainly watch them to yearn ahskasdh

fav coming outs (bc I had to :D)

-Daniel Howell

-Eugene Lee Yang

series

-LOVE, VICTOR!! (hulu)

→ okay I have been talking abt this series for like two weeks straight now but I’m gonna keep annoying everyone on here until everyone has seen it because it is THAT GOOD

-Everything Sucks (netflix)

→ this was I think the first wlw series I’ve ever watched and honestly the overall plot was a mess and kinda meh but I loved the wlw love story so yeah ajsdhakjhd

-The Bold Type (amazon prime)

→ one of my all time fav series, I love the characters so much & the series is all about female empowerment. Also the wlw couple is insanely cute so there’s that

-Dear White People (netflix)

→ okay okay I know the characters with the gay storyline are kinda side characters but I loved it nevertheless, also I feel it’s really good to educate oneself :)

-One Day At A Time (netflix & pop tv)

→ also one of my fav series, the entire family has my heart tbh. also a great execution of the gay storyline in my opinion

-Hollywood (netflix)

→ it’s just so good!! that’s all I’m gonna say

-Queer Eye (netflix)

→ I don’t need to say more I think askhakhd

-Merry Happy Whatever (netflix)

→ okay YES I AM AWARE that this is a Christmas series but still, it was soo good

-High School Musical The Musical The Series (Disney+)

→ gay side characters I guess but still GOD TIER I love it so much (probably because I’m a sucker for musical series/movies oops)

-I Am Not Okay With This (netflix)

→ mystery, wlw content, what more can you ask for! also it’s freaking hilarious omg

movies & documentaries

YouTube:

-State Of Pride

→ watched this last year & I rlly rlly liked it!

-Stonewall Forever

- In A Heartbeat (although everyone has probably already watched this short movie aashdka)

Netflix:

-Disclosure

→ really insightful!

-The Death & Life of Martha P. Johnson

→ also very insightful (though I walked away from it kinda anxious so if you’re easily triggered you might have to keep that in mind)

-Alex Strangelove

→ okay this movie was also hella weird and some of it is probably problematic? but I liked the love story so

-The Half Of It!!!!

→ I love LOVE this movie. It’s more of a coming of age movie than a wlw love story movie but I still think it’s great!

others:

-The Perks of being a Wallflower

→ you guys know how I feel about this akhsdkh

-Love Simon

→ and this one too, because I legitimately don’t know how to shut up abt it oops

books

wlw books

-Wenn Worte meine Waffe wären/For enden af din pegefinger by Kristina Aamand

→unfortunately, there’s no English translation of this yet but I still had to put it on this list because it’s a wlw book with a Muslim protagonist which is really cool!

-Leah On The Offbeat by Becky Albertalli (ofc)

→ read for a badass bi protagonist and oh my God, so much yearning

-We Are Okay by Nina Lacour

→ okay I didn’t really like this book that much?? but a lot of people adore it so I’ve included it here

-The Truth About Keeping Secrets by Savannah Brown

→ mystery! bi wlws! what more can you ask for! (also I absolutely adore the author so)

(books that I still wanna read bc they sound amazing:

-The Falling In Love Montage by Ciara Smyth

→ two girls who plan on spending one incredible summer together & then break up; basically a plot that has been used in straight books/romcoms a lot but I’m really excited to read a wlw version of it!

-You Should See Me In A Crown by Leah Johnson

→ abt a black girl who wants to become a doctor but she needs the school’s scholarship to attend college. The school’s requirements are that u need to win prom queen to get it - so she has to win against another girl! (& u can imagine what happens)

-The Henna Wars by Adiba Jaigirdar

→ the protagonist needs to create a business for school, and hers is being an henna artist. Only problem, her crush is also doing just that so they are kinda competing

-Tell Me How You Really Feel v. Aminah Mae Safi

→ wlw enemies to lovers!! we stan!!

mlm books:

-Carry On (&Wayward Son) by Rainbow Rowell

→ fantasy mlm & I love both of them so so much, I would literally die for them

-Aristotle and Dante discover the secrets of the universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz

→ so freaking adorable, seriously

-Simon vs the homo sapiens agenda by Becky Albertalli

→ for obvious reasons. Also, y’all how have only watched the movie seriously miss out on some adorable Bram x Simon fluff

-The Perks of being a wallflower by Stephen Chbosky

→ for obvious reasons, also it’s generally the best book I have ever read

-What If It's Us by Becky Albertalli & Adam Silvera

→ ADORABLE! but without a real happy ending

-Autoboyography by Christina Lauren

→ about a guy falling for a Mormon boy. A little bit more heavy

trans books:

-The Art Of Being Normal by Lisa Williamson

→ again, thought it was really insightful. But of course I’m not a trans person so I might not be the best person to ask for recommendations in that department

music

queer women:

-King Princess

-Hayley Kiyoko

-girl in red

-MATILDA

-Halsey

-dodie

-Clairo

queer men:

-Troye Sivan

-Vincint

-Conan Gray

[harryforvogue]

hi sarah, how was your day? i had a math exam and think i did good on it :) i’ve been reading a lot of faye x harry & safi x harry. i love how your harry’s are always so different & have such distinct personalities. i wanted to let u know how talented you are and how much i love and adore EVERYTHING on your masterlist 🤍

hiiiiiii my lovieeeeeeee, thank you so much for reading!!!! the fact that you did and then you messaged me..... ugh you have my HEART!!!!!!

my day’s pretty decent. got some work done. i keep sneezing tho and i hate it but it’s just allergies. i love you so much, i hope you never change and i’m proud of you for doing well on your exam!!

[eti-mun]

Kitten Gray!

Crayola Crayon Color Asks | Accepting Kitten Gray: Do you have any pets? If so, describe them. 

There are 6 pets in this house all together

Azriel - A pure black cat with a little tuft of white on his chest, he literally looks like a mini panther its great. Absolute dork who will bring you his cat toy, and then set it down while gently touching your leg and staring at you with his big yellow eyes until you play with him. He used to be a tiny runt. Dad’s cat.

Wasabi - Azriel’s sister. Very tiny orange cat who will Fucking Fight to defend her brother. They were strays who were found together and are completely inseparable. Will Watch You Wash Dishes for some reason. Sisters cat.

Joji - Sisters Phat Tuxedo Cat. He is Very large, but completely healthy as the Vet has told us. Holding him is just like holding a fucking newborn, but he loves to be carried. My sister and I always call him a handsome boy when we pass by.

(Isa)bella - A rat terrier-golden lab mix, Bella is the oldest animal in the house. She is quite fat, old, just a happy old lady with messy fur who wheeze when she gets excited. She used to have seizures when she got too excited but they seemed to have calmed down. Mom’s dog.

Banshee - The family doggo, she's a large Pit bull-wolf mix but the sweetest girl you'll ever meet. Black and white with adorable brown eyes, she can and will yank your arm out of your socket when playing. She's very scared of men due to past abuse but once she  warms up to you, she will beg for pets and drown you in kisses

Safi - My fish, a red dragon scale betta, hes a bastard who keeps trying to fight his own reflection, but coming home and turning on the light and watching him wiggle and get so excited always warms my heart. Will jump and grab bloodworms from my fingers if I hover it over the water

Mr.Snail - Theres is too much power within this red racer neuritie snail. He travels dimensions and then reappears. What is he doing, where is he going. Please spare us oh void being

[im-not-corrupted]

Safi, No (a Witchlands fanfiction) - Chapter Seventeen

Written with @un-empressed.

Read the other chapters here: Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six | Chapter Seven | Chapter Eight | Chapter Nine | Chapter Ten | Chapter Eleven | Chapter Twelve | Chapter Thirteen | Chapter Fourteen | Chapter Fifteen | Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Summary:

Little bit of sadness, then cuteness, followed by sadness, sadness, and more sadness.

Also on Ao3!

Theriverstix, for lack of better words, was a ghost. A ghost that didn't want to be found - not by Vivia. Not by anyone else they might've met over the app.

Theriverstix was a ghost whose trail was this: A username on an app Vivia couldn't name and the fact that they went to the same school as Vivia.

Vivia thought maybe it was time to give up. It wasn't a thought she took lightly - if there was anything she really wanted, it was to find her online friend - but really, it was all she could do. Vanessa search was getting her nowhere - theriverstix was a ghost on other social media, too. Not just in real life or in school. And Stix, despite her best efforts (Vivia knew they were her best efforts; Stix sounded sad and apologetic whenever she told Vivia that she'd found nothing) hadn't made any breakthroughs.

So her only option, really, was to give up. Vivia didn't like the sound of that, but, well. What else could she do? If theriverstix didn't want to be found, she could respect that, no matter how much it crushed her inside.

Did she really have a right to be so crushed? She cursed herself for getting so attached to someone she had met over a fucking app - someone whose name she didn't know. Someone who wouldn't reply to her messages.

It was becoming part of her daily routine - come home from school (on the weekends, send theriverstix a message (Hey. We haven't talked in a while. Hope you're okay. or Did I do something wrong? (she really wanted an answer to that one)), and get no reply.

She wasn't sure which hurt more - getting no reply, or being unable to find her friend.

After school that day, Stix sent her a text - Hey! Do you want to come over? Vivia was slightly annoyed - she had just got home, and wasn't planning on going out - but Stix's presence was calming. Somehow. Stix still spent every minute of their interactions flirting with her. Vivia wasn't sure what that meant.

Why me? She typed back out of curiosity. Didn't Kullen want to? Well, no, Stix answered. Besides, maybe I just wanna see your cute face.

Vivia blushed deeply, glad there was no one around to see it. I just got home.

The reply came instantly. Oh, that's fine. I'm outside your house now.

Vivia blinked at her phone in surprise before running down to the front door. True to her word, Stix was standing there with a sheepish smile on her face. Vivia laughed slightly and held open the door. "What are you doing here?"

Stix entered the house and shrugged, the smile still on her face. Vivia wished that smile would stay on her face forever. "Like I said, I wanted to see your cute face."

Vivia cursed her ability to blush easily. "But y-you had just invited me round your house?"

"Yes," Stix nodded. "But then I realised that your house was further from school than mine and it would be unfair to make you walk further. So here I am. So, which one is your room?"

Vivia laughed again, locking the door. "Follow me." Then she led Stix up to her bedroom. Thankfully, it was already tidy. She usually kept it neat. She despised messes.

Stix sat on the edge of her bed, a small grin on her face. Vivia was struck by how much Stix seemed to fit right in. "So, what do you want to do?" She asked her.

Vivia shrugged, joining her on the bed. They were close enough that their knees were touching - a point of contact she tried in vain to ignore. "I don't know. You did invite yourself round." Not that she minded. At all.

Stix hummed. "Good point. I hope you don't mind me doing that. I just can't seem to resist you."

Vivia's blush appeared again, and she knew Stix had noticed when she grinned widely again. There was no way Stix found her irresistible - that was just ridiculous. "Why do you keep doing that?" She asked, voice quiet. She found herself hoping Stix hadn't heard - despite asking, she didn't want her to stop.

Stix frowned. "Do you - do you not want me too?" She sounded unsure of herself. It was so not Stix-like that Vivia found herself wishing she never asked. "Because if it makes you uncomfortable, I can stop."

"No, no!" Vivia rushed. She didn't want Stix to stop. "That wasn't what I meant! I don't feel uncomfortable - in fact, you make me feel the complete opposite! I - I like it when you...when you say things like that."

Stix's smile returned. "You do?"

She nodded eagerly. "Of course! I just...Why do you say things like that? I mean. You're you. And I'm me. Definitely not cute or super pretty or anything else you've said."

Stix frowned again and didn't say anything for a few seconds before she moved to face Vivia easier. Vivia did the same, and Stix dipped her cheek gently, eyes turning a little sad.

It was barely even a touch, really, but Vivia's face burned again. Stix's hand was so warm and it felt...nice. It felt nice.

"Do you really believe that?" Stix asked her. Her voice was suddenly quiet, too. "Because I don't."

"You don't?" Vivia asked, surprised. The idea that Stix's flirting might actually mean something had crossed her mind but it was completely ridiculous. Right?

"Of course not!" She smiled softly, yet she somehow managed to look serious. "Everything I ever said to you is true, Vivia. I wouldn't do that to you."

This was too good to be true. It had to be. "But - why?"

"Isn't it obvious?" No. "I like you, Vivia. As in I like like you."

Vivia didn't think she was breathing. She thought she didn't want to. "Wh-what?"

"You heard me."

Vivia no longer knew what to think. Stix liked her. Her flirting wasn't a joke. It was real - Stix's feelings for her were real.

And Vivia...Vivia liked her back. She had to. She had never experienced it before, but she knew. She grinned slowly, a little giddy, and allowed herself to breathe. "I like you too."

"Thank god," Stix said. Then her smile fell slightly and Vivia wished it back. Something that looked like guilt shone in her eyes. "Before we do anything else, though, Vivia, I need to tell you something."

Vivia bought her hand up to Stix's - to the hand cupping her cheek gently - and squeezed it slightly. Reassuringly. "Whatever it is, you can tell me."

She took a deep breath and looked her right in the eye. "It's me, Vivia. I'm theriverstix."

[x]

Stix knew she fucked up. Of course she did. She had something good in her life and she had messed it up.

She knew it as soon as Vivia's face fell. As soon as she stared at Stix in shock, Vivia's hand falling from hers. Stix knew it wasn't a good kind of shocked - though she hoped it was - because Vivia's eyes hardened.

"What?" Vivia whispered. "That's not possible. Why would you - why would you lie about that?"

Stix shook her head. Vivia didn't believe her? No, no, no. This wasn't how she wanted this to go. Of course it wasn't! If you had told her when she brought it up, it might've been. "It's not a lie. I wouldn't lie to you."

"Really?" Vivia asked. It wasnt meant to be answered. "Because you just lied to be then. If you are theriverstix, that means you lied when you said you'd help me."

"I didn't lie." Didn't you? "I just. I didn't know how to tell you." Because it was that hard?

Yes. It was hard to tell her. Stix could tell the moment Vivia talked about her - no, about theriverstix, they weren't the same people to Vivia - that she thought fondly of her. Of theriverstix. What if she wasn't what Vivia wanted her to be? She couldn't deal with that. She adored Vivia.

She adored littlefox, too. Of course she did. Each of their conversations were amazing. Wonderful. The highlight of her day. And to find out that littlefox was the same person as Vivia - that was wonderful.

She couldn't lose Vivia.

But it looked like that was happening anyway, and she was powerless to stop it.

Vivia pulled away from her, and Stix's hand hand fell onto the bed between them. "You didn't know how to tell me? Why not?"

"I was scared."

"Of what?" Stix couldn't tell if it was a demand or a plea.

Of losing you. "Of not being who you wanted me to be."

"What?" Vivia shook her head in disbelief. "That doesn't make any sense, Stix. I was expecting theriverstix to be the person I met online. And...you are, aren't you? How did I not see it?"

Stix saw her connect the dots in her mind - theriverstix (she thought it was a clever play on 'Styx'). The similarities between her online self and her not-so-online self. The stupid message she had sent, telling her about Corlant.

And she saw the last dot connect when Vivia's eyes widened. Her voice shook slightly when she said, "You didn't reply to my messages." Stix didn't say anything. "All this time, it was you. And you - you saw me get upset over theriverstix - over you - and you never thought to tell me?"

She should've told her straight away. She should've told her. Why didn't she?

'Scared' no longer seemed like a good enough reason. Was it ever a good enough reason? No, of course not.

"Of course I thought to tell you." Oh, god, this was all so bad.

"Then why didn't you?" Vivia whispered. It was a broken sound. Stix wished she could turn back time. Back to when Vivia told her about theriverstix. "Were you - were you disappointed it was me?"

Stix's eyes widened. "What? Of course not!"

Vivia shook her head and a few tears fell from her eyes. No, no. "You were. That's why you didn't tell me, isn't it?"

Stix reached for her, reached to wipe away those tears. "That's not-"

"Please don't touch me." Vivia flinched back from her touch, and Stix's heart clenched as she remembered what she'd said to her before. I like you too.

I should've told her. Why didn't I tell her?

There wasn't much that could've made this worse. Not really. Vivia was upset - was crying - because of her. Because of her stupid mistake. Vivia believed Stix was disappointed because littlefox was Vivia and that couldn't be further from the truth.

But Vivia managed to find out what could've made this worse. Stix might've been impressed if she was anyone else inside her own head.

Vivia stood from the bed, stared down at the floor. She crossed her arms over her chest. "Leave."

Stix blinked, the word not registering until it did. Leave. "No - Vivia-"

"Leave."

So she did. What else could she do?

*

Read the next chapter here: Chapter Eighteen