#i also feel uncomfy being referred to as trans or as nb because I feel like I'm a girl most of the time but still to a certain extent

[wandapinkay]

Random thing to say but it's Pride month still so fuck it This year came with the realization I'm also demigirl :Dc

[ambiguousdisorderken]

Okay re ur post abt feeling guilty and specifically not being the cishet daughter they think u are…I’m also latino and at this point my identity is transmasc bi/kind of gay but I’m not out. Even though my mom probably knows/ thinks I’m not straight I don’t think she expects me to not be cis despite loads of evidence from my childhood and now. I’ve been struggling eith not seeing myself as the “emotional support daughter” for my mom/family and it makes me hesitate to move out even tho it’s actually happening in a few months for school. I also like, straight up can not imagine coming out as trans like it terrifies me even tho it’s getting to the point where my dysphoria is starting to cause issues and the ways I want to transition are not things I can really hide. Even more so I cannot imagine my extended latino family knowing my gender identity. I want to go no contact because of this fear even tho nothing really warrants that….anyway sorry for a whole story in ur ask u don’t have to answer I just thought maybe You’d want to know u aren’t alone esp with regard to being seen as an hija and shit

thank you for sharing that, i truly appreciate it. i think my family suspects sometimes, but they don't say anything because i'm well past my teenage years and i didn't give any obvious 'signs' (granted i was an anxious and depressed mess due to body issues that wouldn't really be qualified as dysphoria but did make a number on my gender), so there's a sense of "safety" for them. it's also difficult because i'm not a social person, i barely go out, have little to no close friends, very scarce romantic experiences, no irl people to talk about sexuality&gender with, and i basically just hang out with my family (cats included). if i sound lame, it's because i am.

i'm still very much in the questioning stage, figuring stuff out, so my brain goes, it's not for sure yet, why even think of telling them, but it's such a big part of who i am and influences my every interest, so keeping it to myself i feel is sorta washing out my personality. and the hija thing makes me uncomfy. atm i think im nb, and i'm okayish with female pronouns (it's more difficult to go gender neutral in spanish and inclusive language gets mocked at where I'm from so i try to avoid constructing phrases that include pronouns or gendered adjectives - tough shit), but being specifically referred to as a woman/girl/daughter feels.. wrong. off. ehhh. hm, no. at least im the younger sibling who was the 'son they didn't have', since i would always be helping out my dad when i was little. it's such an alien concept to them that i bet it's never crossed their minds, or the sexuality thing.

my plan is moving to a country where queer rights are actually a thing (home country, please level up) and coming out to my fam at the last minute lol. that way we'll be far away, they can process it at their own pace, i get some peace, and if things go badly at least we won't be geographically forced to interact. i have to wait a couple years for that though, and get lucky as fuck because, yeah, higher education abroad. hello. crying in financial limitations.

anyway. i trust our plans will work out<3