#i also love shane but it's more in a ''i deeply relate to his struggles & desperately want to see him happy bc of that'' way

[wildflowercryptid]

i know people who marry shane get pegged with having a "i can fix him" mentality when romancing him, but let's be real... that really should apply to sam lovers instead, considering all the military kid deprogramming you'd have to go through with him.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 10/5/21

this particular tuesday holds many problems for me but that’s enough about that! it’s media time!

listening two wildly different songs!

cairo by san fermin. this is inextricably linked with like the first ten days of the pandemic, where all i really did was go for extremely long rambles at godawful hours around campus so as not to interact with anyone else. but! i was driving to go check out a big free pile and it was soft and lovely out by the connecticut river, and it reminded me of [REDACTED FORMER HOUSE VERY FAR AWAY] in a way that didn’t hurt, and this song came on, and my brain just shut itself off for a bit. your own personal mileage with this song may vary.

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simping for the villain by boy jr. this is another song i found bc my sister curates the best tikkety tocks for me and i think this young lady is simply delightful!

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reading kenobi by john jackson miller. so i draft these posts on sunday night so i can think about filling any holes/let things percolate over the next day or so, and my one note here was “kenobi UGH”. i don’t care about these main characters who are not Obi-Wan and who are callously cruel for the hell of it and have nearly no redeeming qualities. how the fuck am i supposed to relate to these embittered people when you have no shown me how they got to be the way they are, JJM??? they’re just bad parents bc the desert made them do it?

the contrast of the Tusken parent is interesting bc she is a sympathetically flawed figure- a tactical genius struggling to hold together the last of her tribe but also consumed by revenge. however, JJM really trips and falls face first into also making her a noble savage as opposed to the rest of her simpleminded crew, bc she received the touch of genius from a jedi and that’s why she’s smart or whatever. terrible. also, Tusken culture and traditions as presented in this book are…not how any real people in our world live bc it simply isn’t sustainable. people have been caring for disabled people as long as there have been people. people are still useful even if they can’t hold a melee weapon. also, incredibly secondary complaint, an absolute dearth of the beautiful north african/afghan/vaguely arab-flavored flintlock-inspired rifles from the films.

this book lifts Quite a lot from jack schaefer’s Shane and the film The Searchers (1956, dir. Ford). this is essentially (from the first half) Shane rewritten with occasional deeply upsetting interludes by Obi-Wan, who apparently picked his name off a map when he (checks notes) legally registered his home.you are UNDERCOVER, my guy!!! there are very few bits from Obi-Wan’s perspective but the bits we do get of him trying to talk to Qui-Gon and failing are deeply upsetting, he’s such a gregarious person and exiling himself as self-flagellation for failing Anakin is very hard to watch. put more of that in instead of this banal will-they-won-’t-they subplot-that’s-a-main-plot between a widower and a divorcee. 

JJM has had a terrible sense of pacing in everything i’ve read from him- infamously, The Lost Tribe of the Sith doesn’t really get going until three-quarters of the way through.i am not a particular fan of his prose, although i can’t really say any of the star wars books are enjoyable as a pure standalone product. you have to Really like star wars to read these fucking books. i do feel like this has made my own writing slightly better bc it is now easier to see certain pitfalls in my own shit. deeply embarrassing tho.

watching escape from new york (1981, dir. Carpenter). sometimes a woman simply wants to get weirdly faintly homesick for the big apple and see kurt russell pout and have a terrible horrible no good very bad day. i cannot tell you why my brain is this way, merely link you to where i privateered the film.

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playing fallow week bc i don’t want to talk about genshin in depth beyond: i finally got the mean ice pikewoman. thank u october

making rejiggering the kitchen. i am the person who uses the kitchen the least but somehow i am putting all of my effort into making that the most functional room in the apartment right now. hm. anyway bc three people (one of whomst is very into various sandwich toppings) all using one fridge is not a very good time, we now have a minifridge EXCLUSIVELY for condiments. it feels decadent and bourgeoisie in a way i cannot describe

oh also repainted this shelf i got off the side of the road, to live in this weird nook by our radiator/where the fireplace got ripped out when my landlord renovated. it has will have marble contact paper on the actual surface of the shelves bc tbh even after wire brushing the living hell out of it, the spray paint did not cover enough sins. pots and pans and things the radiator will not melt are going to live on here i think.

before/where it is now/from the kitchen door (condiment mini fridge on the left under the counter). that’s such a fucked up little corner, my god, also WOW the lighting in there is very yellow huh

nothing says “baby’s first apartment where it came unfurnished and she isn’t subletting” like some repurposed garage shelves i guess

[levyfiles]

Last week the @skepticbeliever-bookclub prompted us to post a selection of our favourite shyan fics so there’d be a nice little way to highlight all the hidden gems of favourites we might already recognise and love while sharing a few we might never have found otherwise. Last December I posted a little list of some of my favourites so I figured I’d dust off that list with a few new additions of particular favourites I treasure. 

Be All My Sins Remembered by spoopyy

Summary:  In every lifetime, they find each other.

Review: This fic manages to take you on a long journey through what feels like a series of AUs and they all weave in and out of the wealth of their relationship with some vivid descriptions of the historical settings their journey takes them through. As someone who grew up reading Anne Rice’s epics through historical events, this fic is right up my alley. A vampire Shane passing through the wave of human society’s climb searching for a reincarnated Ryan again and again, trying to hold on to him and keep him through great tragedies and timeframes that just don’t let them be together. This was one of the first fics I read when I was only a lurker and to be quite honest, I need to give this one a nice re-read, maybe for the book club which would be loads of fun. Either way, 10/10. Would be Hurt in the heart again.

Perfect Fit by @beaniegara

Summary:  There’s a legend that says anyone able to take all of statue Shane’s cock will summon the god to the mortal realm. Given the statue’s excessive size, no one has ever succeeded to prove or disprove the story. Until Ryan that is.

Review: Listen. You wanna talk actual fandom legends. This fic is one of them and it pulls out all the stops on being delicious and evocative. Also features one of my favourite incarnations of size queen bergara. Good stuff and you’re really rooting for Ryan in this lol.

a prize for rotten judgement  by sarcasticfishes

Summary: “You’d drive each other crazy. You sit together at your office all day, and then you’d be commuting home together, eating dinner together, watching TV together, going to bed — well, not together, but you get it, right?”

It doesn’t sound so awful to Shane. There are worse people he could be spending all his hours with than Ryan Bergara.

Review: The moment I happened to glance at the notes of this and saw that Fie’s secondary title for this would have been Ryan and Shane move to the Suburbs, I about lost it with excitement. Primarily because the show this references is one of my favourite comedies and that is one of my all-time favourite episodes. Let me tell you though, even if the reference is lost on you, this story is so much gold rolled into a heart-gripping tale of two best friends who spend every waking moment together taking the plunge to share a home and they were roommates oh my god they were roommates. Shane is pining and you’ll pine right along with him as you’ll yell and holler for him to stop being so damn real and full of doubt. It really is worth every gasp of pain and all the more for the execution but the delivery will leave you in delight. Certainly had me yelling at the author. This fic is gonna be one of my timeless favourites; I knew it the moment I began.

Everything’s Weird and We’re Always in Danger by beethechange

Summary: Ryan perches on the edge of the bed, an indistinct shape that Shane can only just make out in the dark, so he turns the lamp back on. He wants to see Ryan’s face, wants to know that he is alright. Ryan’s cheeks are damp, his hands fisted in the hideous flowered duvet.

“It won’t go away,” Ryan says miserably. “I’ve been like this since we got here, basically, and it won’t fucking—”

“Ah,” Shane says. “Well, you know, sometimes fear…adrenaline…they can affect people. Physically.” He waves his hands indistinctly crotchward. “It’s a, a scientifically known phenomenon.” Shane feels a little better staying in the realm of scientifically known phenomena.

Review: Word of advice. You see a fic is authored by beethechange, run don’t walk because you’re absolutely always going to be treated to the best of banter, the best of prose, chemistry, organic execution and feels right up the bottom end of your heart. This fic, this changed everything I thought I knew I wanted out of a bed-sharing fic. It’s got a little bit of two treats here. You got a sex-pollen-esque situation mixed with bed-sharing and holy fucking damn that is more than you think you deserve, but read this because you do deserve the best of the best. The build up, the dialogue, the surprisingly hilarity of it, the hotness woah, and The Aftermath. When you think you know what you’re in for, you’re wrong and you’re most pleasantly surprised. Get this fic in your life and honestly? while you’re at it, you could do a clean sweep of every fic in her list of works and while my less than adequate reading time management may still be short on some of her most well-recommended pieces, I have an adamant faith that Bee doesn’t disappoint. Go get y’all juice.

Maelstrom by thewindupbird

Summary:  Here’s the thing about driving halfway across the country to see someone. You can’t really deny, after that, that you’re pretty much head over heels for them.

Review: Listen. One morning on a day off, I just laid in bed and read this– all 40k+ words– while lying there clutching my pillows, hurting and loving every moment of it. The descriptions of Americana, the slow steady metronome rhythm of Ryan’s feelings as frightened and helpless as they feel when you’re relating deeply to them juxtaposed with the deep-seated struggle of understanding what it is to be with someone you love so much but your mental health is burning quiet holes in your ability to express it in a way that can be understand. Ryan’s fierce determination, breaking through the silence of their non communication is really Everything to me in this fic. i think I really left my heart in the scene in Shane’s parents kitchen. That finished me. Read this fic and understand the deep relief you get when you’ve finished a fight with someone you fiercely care about and they understand you and you understand them and it’s OK; it’s gonna be all right. Augh.

5 times Shane had to overrule Ryan’s “No Homo” + 1 time he didn’t have to by ghoulboyboos

Summary: There was only one thing that would truly drive him up the wall with Ryan, much more than any debate about ghosts ever could: Ryan’s consistent twitches of “no homo” when any sort of physical contract between them happened.

Review: I have such a soft special spot in my heart for this fic particularly because Lud manages to examine a trope I tend to avoid in such a sweet and honest way I couldn’t not love this fic. The story takes a painstaking and very real look at the “no homo” issue as it weaved through the journey that was early days Ryan and Shane. Shane’s reaction to in this and how he communicates with Ryan has such a very heartfelt and once again, real quality to it. I get in my feelings all over again about how far they’ve come and what it meant for Ryan to have Shane there. Lud really nails this piece and it’s a classic in my eyes.

A Burial on Box Hill by InkStainsOnMyHands

Summary: The Celtics believed that the yew flower symbolized both immortality and death. Meanwhile, for centuries, the buxus flower was seen as a symbol for safe passage into the afterlife.

Or,Shane and Ryan were never the same after investigating the Black Forest of Germany alone.

Review: Let me just quote my bookmark comment here. Usually I flee from tragedy like a cat spotting a cucumber but the brevity and the prose dragged me in and now I’m a functioning mess. Bless this fic. Oh my god it’s short and reads like one of those quick horror stories you’ll read to your friends just as the scary stories are transitioning from the urban legends to the ones that feel real. Big warning for main character death but still read it if you appreciate a good story told.

Body Farming by shiphitsthefan

Summary: Failed suppressants and a surprise heat: the worst of cliches, and here Ryan stands, living the trope on location with the alpha he’s hopelessly in love with. Even worse, they’re spending the night in the famous Bell Witch Cave, completely alone and with no way to contact the outside world.

Ryan knows he can survive and keep his preheat a secret, as long as Shane will stop being so protective and concerned. After all, it’s not like Shane wants to bond with him.

Right?

Review: Now judging from the reactions of many people I’ve spoken to, big heavy ABO kink is not popular here but guys, GUYS. This one. Let this one in I promise it is not what you think it is. The dynamic is organic and the worst side of the trope is subverted in all the best ways and lord help us, the smut is hot, like swelteringly smoking. It’ll stay with you.

Believer by cellard00rs

Summary:  Some demons and otherworldly creatures love climbing up the power ladder. Shane is not one of these. He likes where he is (thank you very much) and has no interest in moving up. All he wants is to give his friend Ryan a nice birthday gift. So, naturally, everything goes to hell.

Review: This fic is another fandom legend. When I think demon!Shane. It’s this and one other one that always pops right into my mind. This was my first exposure to the bureaucracy meets the supernatural!Shane trope and I was sold from the get-go. The Shane in this fic is everything I imagine a demon!Shane is and his ginger care for Ryan, the concept of their bond and how even though Shane is a demon and responsible for keeping the supernatural a firm secret from Ryan and the rest of the world, his skepticism is relayed through his status as a demon. I want to talk more about it but I think so much of the enjoyment comes from the surprises as the plot unfurls.

hey boy, take a look at me by weakspots

Summary: Ryan is 27, for Christ’s sake, and he’s not exactly hideous, so there’s really no reason to spend his money on a dude — a dude — whose face he’ll never see but whose livestreams he’s been jerking off to for roughly 4 months now. He should be going out and partying and fucking random chicks. Or a guy, whatever, just to get it out of his system and confirm to himself that he really is 100% straight.

Because he is. This is morbid curiosity, if anything.

Review: I’ve been a long-time fan of this universe and it was a universe I didn’t know I needed until this author gave it to us. We or rather me, a desperate audience, just devoured this with every update. Not only is it hot, but it has the delicious intrigue of secret identity, anonymous stuff and a LOT of blush-worthy prose therein. This version of Shane makes me thrive but the titillating nature of straight-identifying!Ryan being bowled over by the turn of events that leads him to his world tilting into the gravity of a camboy just--you Have to read this one!

Heartbeat by quackers

Summary:  So the guy Ryan sits next to at work is a vampire. That’s no big deal, right?

Review: I could talk your literal ear off about this fic. Vampires, man. I love the trope; you don’t know me as a person if you don’t know this at least. And this fic kept me fed all damn year. It was a readable garden. If there is one thing I can guarantee about quackers’ work, it’s that their world-building is a festival of detail. The realms and alternate universes they work with while still managing to keep Shane and Ryan’s voices so familiar and real is a talent not attributed to your everyday author. This fic propelled me into wanting to write more and more because quackers makes stories so much fun! Reading their work is, to me, not unlike the feeling I got when I was younger and finding series that speak to my need to escape this crummy existence, made me want to believe in fun spicy things like a vampire that lived through centuries, cynical but still searching, navigating a world where people are still people, adjusting to differences and prejudices, finding comfort in a guy that understands that and more. I’ve talked about this fic in more than a few different posts so I’d just be reiterating a lot of things I loved about the more historical aspects of Shane’s journey, the way Ryan is so firmly curious and inventive in ways to connect with Shane. Look, even if vampires aren’t your thing, I can promise that if you visit quackers list of work, you will find something for your supernatural-lovin’ palate that speaks to a gentler side of your own curiosity about monsters and the jocks that love them. lol.

I’ll Crawl Home by carrieonfighting

Summary:  “Shane was almost unnerved by how quickly he’d settled into this body, this name, this life - his friendship with Ryan was the most time he’d spent with any human before, and yet the man fascinated him.”

Review: This is the second fic I think of when someone says the words ‘demon!Shane’ to me because ohhhh my word, this fic is a masterpiece. I really am hard-pressed to find anything better than the feeling I get when I think of demon!Shane headcanons interwoven with the irl Buzzfeed reality and the idea of the Ryan as we know him being protected and watched and loved so deeply by a demon that found him so long ago and wanted nothing but to protect him. I feel an almost vicious glee reliving that moment when Ryan and Shane are on goatman’s bridge and man, I just really love canonical fic mixed with a slight twist. The writing in this makes it work so well with lines that still haunt my heart and soul like “Ryan liked popcorn. So did the demon. Genuinely, not just out of a desire to please the human – he liked the way it crunched between his vessel’s teeth. There were some aspects of taking a corporeal form that were… nice; laughing, coffee, feeling warm. Ryan made him laugh.” FUCK! The beautiful agony of it, watching the demon fall in love with Ryan through the eyes of his vessel. Just stark with pain and unspoken, well-written angst and pain with a perfect ending, I wouldn’t change for anything. I love this for us as a fandom and will always love that author crafted this piece and shared it with us. (Also every time I hear Work Song by Hozier, I think of this fic again and sigh).

[awastelandheart]

Sebastian’s personality analyzed through his theory-crafted natal chart: The perspective of a professional astrologer.

PART ONE: SUN SIGN.

i apologize in advance to any capricorns i unintentionally read to filth in this post.

          i think out of all the bachelors   &   bachelorettes, Sebastian has the oddest, most abrasive post-marriage dialogue. i’ve heard plenty of people over the years complain about how awkward being married to him is   &   i, myself, tend to not marry him when i play since locking him in pelican town like that when he so clearly wants to leave feels bad. even before marriage as well, he has a lot of almost cringey   &   certainly concerning dialogue. Sebastian’s not a man that’s made for marriage or long term relationships i think, at least not in his early to mid 20s which is how old i believe he is in canon. unlike the rest of the bachelors   &   bachelorettes, his character arc   &   development don’t do much for melding him into someone worth being with. even Shane who is troubled in a much more obvious way than Sebastian has more moments of reflection that convince the player that he’s a good person despite his flaws. Sebastian may seem to be gentle in his internal struggle, it’s easy to believe that, at most, he’s rude   &   depressed, but i think there’s a lot more to unpack here that suggests he’s violent, angry to an awful degree,   &   possibly the worst marriage candidate, if not just the worst townie out of the whole cast.

          to start off with, i believe Sebastian’s sun sign is Capricorn. my reasoning for this is a blend between a post on reddit i found that used a simple algorithm to convert the in game dates to real dates. taking into account the slightly flawed method that gives each date 2-3 days worth of wiggle room,   “ january 17th ”   implies he’s on the Capricorn side of january. to be honest, when i was first thinking about what sun sign i wanted Sebastian to have, i was leaning towards Aquarius since he has several lines about escaping the town   &   wanting his freedom   ( both being very Aquarius-like qualities ),   however i think the case for Capricorn is much easier to make. to start off, i’ll give a run down of the most defining Capricorn characteristics, then i’ll move onto showing in-game examples of how Sebastian demonstrates these traits   ( while leaving room for his other natal positions that i’ll extrapolate on in more posts to come ).

          Capricorn is an earth sign, reveling in stability with a handful of almost toxic traits to display if that stability isn’t achieved. ruled by saturn, or kronos if you wanna get greek, Capricorns are at a constant war with themselves between the general human experience   &   cutting out as much superfluous expression   &   feeling as possible. the story of kronos is very reflective of the Capricorn struggle:   it’s the tale of a man   ( god, but that’s not important )   whose wife is predicted to bear a child who will surpass him   &   take his legacy. kronos, in his anxiety to prevent this change, begins eating each of his wife’s children as they’re born until one day, his wife replaces one of the newborns with a rock so that it will survive kronos’ consumption. of course this leads to the child growing up   &   indeed surpassing kronos just as the prophecy foretold. the lesson to be learned from kronos is one of restriction   &   the inevitability of time.

          between their earthly reliability   &   love of practicality, Capricorns are viewed as the traditional fathers of the zodiac sphere. they guard their values of yesteryear close to their chest. anything too different is cast far away from themselves or, rather, consumed until all traces are disposed of. thankfully not as stubborn as poor Taurus   ( another earth sign ),   Capricorns have a touch of adaptability in all their logic. their modality is cardinal, implying they take charge of situations. they are the leaders next to Cancer, Libra,   &   Aries:   any good leader knows when to give up their morals for the betterment of their charge. to boot, Capricorn is represented by the mythological creature, the sea-goat   ( a creature created by dear old kronos, himself, consisting of the torso of a goat   &   the tail of a fish );   the goat half delivering on that steady earthly nature of an unrelenting climb to the top of a mountain called life, yet the inclusion of the ocean in this aesthetic implying an amount of emotion only water signs can relate to.

          in the typical male-dominated, fatherly way, however, emotional expression does not exist for Capricorns, resulting in this implied depth to lurk well below a Capriorn’s surface. they are deeply independent in a way that leads to intense loneliness. they must do everything for themselves, another thing lovely kronos has taught us here. why look for a different solution to this problem when i so clearly have found one for myself, the ruler of saturn proclaims. a Capricorn’s independence is almost panic charged in this way. they so dearly want to be seen as capable that they will shred their own livelihood as a price. they are masters at self control for it, each having taught themselves the art of stoicism from a young age. Capricorns are at best, friendly in a superficial way. knowing their loneliness is created by their own hands but never knowing how to move passed their own cold   &   distant heart to enact any change necessary to improve their relationships.

          something that is often associated with Capricorns   &   the other earth signs is the act of earning money. while Taurus enjoys earning money to support their lavish, venus-ruled lifestyle   &   Virgo sees money as something to worry over thus resulting in them hoarding it, Capricorns crave for their income to be stable   &   plentiful in order to provide for their loved ones, or for the more lonely Capricorns, to provide for themselves.

          saturn is the first planet to take a substantial amount of time to complete its cycle through all the signs. compared to earth, which takes one year to complete its solar rotation   &   jupiter which takes 12, saturn takes upwards of 30 years. we astrologers take that as symbolical for how Capricorns get significantly better with age, as well as their   “ slow   &   steady wins the race ”   attitude. Capricorn is a sign of wisdom but only at the hand of experience. young Capricorns frequently find themselves discontented with their environment   &   lifestyle, craving a stability that cannot exist without first having established themselves in the world. every seven years it’s said, a Capricorn reaches a new level of understanding   &   maturity, as it is about every seven years that saturn completes 1/4th of its solar cycle.

          Capricorns, like Scorpios, love their privacy. regarded as one of the more shady signs of the zodiac, a Capricorn is the type of person to have everyone believing they know everything there is to know about them while simultaneously only ever revealing surface level knowledge about themselves. Capricorns love having friends   &   spending time with their loved ones, however they lack a sense of trust that would allow them to form deeper connections. while a Capricorn does experience their emotions as thoroughly as the rest of the zodiac, they have an equally intense insecurity about expressing them. a Capricorn lives their life wanting to be depended on or at least wanting to provide for those that do depend on them. emotions are seen as a weakness that cannot be spared.

          with the basic personality of a Capricorn outlined, i’ll now go through some choice quotes that demonstrate these traits   &   then talk about a few parts of his heart events that do the same.

“ if i just disappeared would it really matter ? ” “ i was thinking... people are like stones skipping over the water. Eventually we're going to sink. ” “ what am I going to do today ?   probably nothing.”

          when the player first meets Sebastian, he is overtly depressed   &   never goes out of his way to hide it. there is a solemn dark cloud filled with rain, ready to burst constantly following him   &   it’s difficult to ignore. this seriousness is very characteristic of many signs, Capricorn being one of them as it is ruled by Saturn, an outer planet with a very melancholic tone.

“ hey, don't let me stop you from getting your work done. if you aren't busy i don't mind if you stick around. ”

          this quote demonstrates the productive mindset of a Capricorn. compared to all the other bachelors, Sebastian is the only one to ever really consider the player’s work schedule.

“ i was so close to screaming at mom for throwing away my old comic collection   ...  but something stopped me. hmm   ...   with age comes wisdom. ” “ the older i get, the less i'm drawn to the city. ” “ sometimes i feel so angry  ...  but when you show up i always start to calm down. maybe i'll mellow out with age. ”

          while these quotes are also depicting other personality traits, for now i want to emphasize Sebastian’s constant referencing to the passage of time. time is always on a Capricorn’s mind, even the less self aware ones always feel the effects of its passage harsher than other signs. after dating   &   at points in marriage, which is when these quotes are from, Sebastian begins to view time as something more positive   &   optimistic. he recognizes that he has anger issues, at the very least,   &   hopes they’ll get better as time goes on. it’s quite the feat to make a Capricorn see growing older as something positive instead of something anxiety inducing, so from this alone we can really tell that Sebastian is absolutely in love with the player, without a doubt.

“ i couldn't sleep last night so I went for a night ride on the motorcycle. i need to stay independent, even though we're married. that's just how i am. i still love you, though. ” “ hey   ...   want some coffee ?   i needed some   ...   woke up early from a nightmare   &   i just couldn't fall back asleep. ” “ hey. i couldn't sleep last night so i took a walk to the caves. ” “ i'm going to take a walk today. i need some time to myself. i'll see you in the evening. ”

          Capricorns tend to be almost predisposed to sleep issues due to their immense amount of anxiety that comes with the disconnect between productivity   &   incapability, or craving emotional connection   &   viewing emotions as unnecessary. Capricorns are also fiercely independent, so independent that it’s no surprise Sebastian’s the kind of person to sneak out of bed   &   go off alone when feeling anxious instead of waking his partner up for comfort.

“ i don't want to get soft now that i'm a married guy. maybe i should start eating more hot pepper   &   working out ?   just an idea   ... ”

          while i’d also be willing to chalk this expression up to Sebastian being anxious about not passing as masc, i’m also willing to attribute this to a Capricorn being afraid of time passing   &   “ missing out ”   on life. growing soft can be a fear of a sign so dedicated to seeming tough   &   dependable.

“ i don't really feel like doing work today. maybe i'll see what's on tv. ” “ i did some work on the laptop today. ” “ i'm debating whether i should work or just read comics all day. ” “ you know, i should be doing something productive right now. i just lose focus too fast   ...   maybe i should drink more coffee ? ”

          Sebastian references his work so frequently, in typical Capricorn fashion because the urge to justify one’s pleasures by mentioning the fact that they’re also being productive is something ever-present. they are a very guilty breed;   on top of their other burdens, they feel especially bad for moments of relaxation or times when they should be doing something, but cannot bring themselves to.

“ you’re probably making a lot of money on your farm, huh ?   i guess i should get a job soon   … ” “ we should raise more slimes. in big quantities they can be really profitable. ” “ i did some work on the laptop today. i was actually brainstorming some ideas for a game i want to make. with your farming income, i can afford to do what i want with my life. it’s pretty amazing. thank you. ” “ hey. look at me. never forget that i love you   ...   you’re everything to me. now go make us some money. ” “ are we doing okay on money ?   i don’t want to have to sell my laptop   ... ” “ *sigh*   ...    if gas wasn’t so expensive i’d ride my motorcycle to the city today. so what do you do when you aren’t working ? ”

          Sebastian talks SO much about money   &   to me, it’s really hard to imagine concernedape didn’t intentionally make him a Capricorn with this much dialogue about income when no other bachelor or bachelorette has any mention of the topic   ( except for harvey who mentions he’s afraid he’s not bringing in enough money from the lack of people in town ).   the biggest one that jumps out at me to really signal a significant change in his personality after marriage is when he mentions having the freedom that comes with a steady income, a freedom that now allows him to do what he really wants which is, apparently, to make a video game. another one that jumps out at me here is his immediate association with feeling like he should get a job after assuming the player is making a lot of money. since income is such an important subject for Capricorns, it’s easy to imagine Sebastian feels inferior in comparison to the player since he’s   “ just ”   a freelancer.

“ i often felt unappreciated at home   ...   but here i feel like i really belong. ”

          this quote kind of hits Capricorn’s need to be appreciated   &   useful directly on the head   &   is a good transition for me to talk about the fact that Sebastian never progressed very far in his career while living at home with his family because he felt unappreciated. compared to how he almost immediately has a dialogue line after marriage where he tells the player he’s been inspired to make a video game, it’s easy to see the almost instant maturity Sebastian obtained just from moving out;   something he had assumed was in the far off future, implied by his heart scenes.

now let’s break down Sebastian’s heart events.

          his first heart even opens with him busy working, already a very Capricorn setting honestly, as i’ve said a few times now since Capricorns are prone to productivity. Robin enters after a moment   &   informs Sebastian that Abigail is looking for him, to which Sebastian responds to ask if his mother had informed Abigail that he’s working. Robin says that while she had, Abigail still intends on visiting Sebastian at some point today. Sebastian’s next piece of dialogue is very important.

“ *sigh* no one takes my job seriously. ”

          this is an incredibly Capricorn thing to say, both because Capricorns always feel the need to be taken seriously   &   also due to their signature insecurity about income.

          the scene continues so that the player can ask Sebastian what his career goals are. he explicitly says:   “ well, i’m trying to save up so i can move out of here. probably to the city or something, ”   which by itself is obviously very Capricorn, both nailing their need for income, their constant validation that they deserve what they want,   &   their desire for independence, however his dialogue continues for another textbox that contains the most Capricorn lines i’ve ever heard.

“ you know, if i went to college i’d probably be making six figures right now … ”   

          Sebastian is so very   &   obviously obsessed with money, it’s crazy to think he’s any other sign but Capricorn. this portion of the heart scene ends with him saying, 

“ but i just don’t want to be a part of that corporate rat race, you know ? ”   

          this dialogue i’m willing to attribute to another one of his signs at a later date in another post, but in my experience, i’ve known several Capricorn suns that feel the same:   that while they strive for a stable income, they hate participating in capitalistic culture.

          this first heart scene ends with Sebastian dismissing the player, saying he   “ has to get this module finished by tomorrow, ”   indicating he has a very set schedule when it comes to his work. organization being yet another characteristic trait of Capricorn.

          Sebastian’s second heart scene opens with the player catching him working on his bike. after a moment of introspection, Sebastian starts talking, again, about how when he saves enough money, he’s going to get out of the valley, just him   &   his bike. this scene doesn’t have anything specifically Capricorn about it   &   i plan on revisiting it when i talk about his other placements.

          likewise, Sebastian’s third   &   fourth heart scenes don’t have anything outrageously Capricorn in them   --   in fact neither scene tells us very much about Sebastian in particular aside from pointing out that he likes tabletop games   ( which obviously isn’t exclusively Capricorn by any means, but i’ve known so, so many Capricorn suns that have been hardcore into dnd over the years   ...  )   &   has social anxiety. i’ll most likely dip into his fourth heart scene a little more when i talk about his other placements, though.

          Sebastian’s fifth   (   &   final before marriage )   heart scene is, of course, important,   &   probably the most memorable for anyone who’s played Sebastian’s route, but it honestly doesn’t tell us much about his core personality. what it does tell us is how he acts   &   feels when he’s in love, so i’ll definitely come back to this scene when i talk about his venus position.

          &   that’s on his heart scenes !

          so, in summary, i believe Sebastian has a Capricorn sun because he shares many qualities with how astrologers perceive the position. of course this is all just my personal interpretation, but i hope this was an interesting read   &   shed some light on the kind of person Sebastian is !

[wetookanoath]

ooh what are your headcanons for the coco au?? 👀

Well, right now I have…

TW: Racism, implied homophobia and transphobia, sexism, way too many languages in one tiny family, necessary Major Character(s) Death(s), this is not a fanfic but a way too elavorated AU lol, Trans Male Character, trans pregnancy.

S/O to @faequill and @impossiblevvings for educating my ass by sharing his experiences as a trans parents. And also S/O to @from-one-fandom-to-the-other for making THIS and THIS wonderful art and talking about this AU with me. And also S/O to this anon for asking.

Set in the 30s, I’m thinking in maybe Baja California or Guadalajara. During this time, Mexico is still getting together after the Mexican Revolution left tons of deads and shattered states. In this time, the Golden Age of cinema flourishes and singers like Pedro Infante and Jorge Negrete become famous. Enter the music theme of the story.

That said, Mexico has a long history of having good relations with european countries such as Germany, Ireland, Austria and Poland. During the Colony, tons of people came to Latinamerica because there was work, commerce and land (I mean, stolen land– you know how that goes), so entire families would come with the hopes of a better life. 

During this time, chinese people build a China Town in what will be Mexico City later (still stands and is a wonderful place), japanese people will came in their own commercial ships to either work or be with their families, since samurai getting jobs as big names spaniard’s bodyguards, and soon other business people came with their families.

I’m saying all this to then say that,

Ryan’s family has always had it bad because they are mixed. His father’s grandpa decided to move to a small community where most people is mixed near the principal city of their state, yet not so close. This is so they can all live in peace.

Ryan’s grandfather gets out the country, builds a life in the States where he meets Ryan’s grandma, an also mexican woman who went to live in the States. Years later, Steve, Ryan’s dad, meets Linda, daughter of immigrants too, and they build their own family.

When Ryan is a teenager, his parents understand he is trans and caliming economic problems, Steve decides to take his family back to the family’s ranch in Mexico, where they can protect their kid, so no one knows he is trans and they know him only as Ryan. They grow up learning from all their cultures and speaking very accented english and spanish. Ryan and Jake also talk a broken japanese their mom is always cheering. They cook strange stuff that convines all three cultures and people think they are weird, but it works.

To their little town comes a group of immigrants from Poland, men are there to work in the energy plant near the Bergara’s ranch.

Ryan and Jake met Shane then, he’s older than them and Ryan gets irritated at his funny spanish, but finds himself talking to him daily until Shane starts to work, too.

So, every day, Shane and his brother walk in front of the Bergara ranch and he can always see Ryan at the window with a guitar or just asleep. He always waves at him and soon, Ryan finds himself waiting for the boy to pass by his window.

There’s a lot of Ryan insulting Shane in either spanish or japanese, to what Shane always answers with polish and both look at each other like ¬¬

They fall in love eventually.

Both families get along well, it’s then when Linda and Sherry start to notice something between their kids. It’s unspoken and like a known secret, and only once did they tried to talk about it but, like it happens so often in remote places of Mexico, no one said a word.

Ryan’s family is well known, names move sea, dirt and sky in Mexican societies, and so life goes on– of course, leaving the santity of their small town means dead and treats, and so none go.

Scott and Jake both leave eventually, it is known then that Ryan will take the ranch. When he’s already an adult, Shane and his mom move to the ranch after his father dies and Scott leaves.

Later in life, Scott gets married in the ranch, and they are all such a funny and curious mix of a family.

They have a few happy years where Ryan and Shane are together, dream of music and suddenly, something changes.

When Ryan realizes he’s pregnant, he’s worried shit will go down. Shane is actually pretty happy and excited, and after the initial shock, both feel good about it. With his mother’s support, he is able to tell his father, and to his freakin’ surprise, he’s happy. 

Ryan has to stay in the ranch to protect himself and the baby, seeing the struggle, fear starts flourishing in Shane and instead of saying something, he keeps it all in him. He needs an actual job, not just his music delucions, and he needs to do better and make sure nothing ever happens to Ryan and their baby.

They have a girl, they name her Alejandra, and she grews up listening to her parents sing together and even with economic struggles, they were happy.

Then Shane leaves.

When Alejandra was little, Shane met bitch ass Ernesto who used to listen to him at the local bar where he sang with Ryan and other pals they had. Shane originally didn’t want to become a singer, but he wanted to keep writing songs, Ernesto made him believe they could be both singers.

Note: Mexico has a big time problem with colorism and favoritism of whites™, but when it comes to music and so, especially at that time, the mexican public wanted to the men who sang to be the stereotype of a Strong Mexican Man™, like Jorge Negrete and Pedro Infante (this doesn’t mean they weren’t talented and amazing at their art, because they sure as hell were). A man like Shane would had never find fame and acceptance at that time, so this bitch ass Ernesto fooled him deeply.

Ryan doesn’t like Ernesto one bit, and feels him fake as shit with his “support” of their family when Shane is idiot enough to tell him the truth. This causes their first big fight, since Ryan didn’t want a man like this bitch to know about him and that Ale is their biological daughter.

Fights start to become terrible, and finally Shane tells Ryan he wants to try this and if it doesn’t work, he’s coming back right away. If in six months he hasn’t done shit, he is coming back. 

Ultimately, Ryan believes in Shane’s talent and lets him go. At first, they write to each other constantly and Ryan always reads part of Shane’s laters to Ale.

Eventually, the letters stop and a year later, Ernesto is in everyone’s TV and Ryan tries his best to find out what happened to Shane. When he finds out he was murdered, Ernesto tells him some story about being mugged and what not, and in his pain he believes it.

In the back of his head, there’s always the tiny voice that says this is not true, but the pain and his pride are stronger, and so he decides to keep going.

He makes the ranch prosper with his bare hands and the whole family helps, as years goes by, they can mantain themselves with the ranch’s production of meat and leather.

Note: totally not based on my own ranch, lol.

Ryan dies later in life, having his daughter carry his name when he decided to change her name to take away Shane’s (because we mexicans are petty and this was super common. Your husband left you? Change your kids’ name to yours– my name should be Rivera, guys, but my great grandma said fuck you to his father, and changed her name to León -her mom’s name- and here we are…) and the ranch.

~ The After Life ~

Shane is there before anyone else. He could be send to his polish family, he could find the other Bergaras, but he is not sure of what to do. His situation as someone his family has decided to forget mantains him in the streets with the ones without a family, which is bullshit because he knows his family must be somwhere.

His first years, he forgets about the Día de los Muertos tradition, among other traditions, and is only worried to find a way to know if Ryan and Ale are okay, and soon he’s hit with a newspaper from a maxican lady that has hear his story of having his family in Mexico, she reminds him of the bridge that opens on November 2.

That’s when he starts trying and when he’s told his family doesn’t put a picture of him, that breaks his heart and spirit more than he cares to admit. He gives up after.

Years later, re-animated by the fact that he needs to let Ale know he loves her more than anything in the world, he keeps trying. This is when he recognizes Ryan for the first time.

He is an emotional mess, trying to reach him and when he sees he is with their entire family, he is a rying mess. But then, Ryan looks at him and there’s complete silence– it’s unspoken that Ryan is kind of the family’s head, so the others wave at him but don’t do much when Ryan finallly turns around to cross the bridge without saying a word to Shane.

His heart is shattered to not repair that night and on.

Shane concentrates then into getting to the Human World to see Ale. His parents and other family members would talk to him from time to time, and at least he gets to know his daughter grow well, but also gets to know Ryan had it bad for a while and will take him time to accept him back.

He tries to tell Ryan about Ernesto more than once. He courts him, and sings, and does all he can until Ryan is tired of him and finally tells him he doesn’t want excuses, he doesn’t want to see him and he should go right now.

Shane is not sure anymore if there’s more heart to break, but it hurts all the same.

Ryan, when in the After Life, woke to his family and only accepted to himself to be disappointed of not seeing Shane there. He finds out later about his situation, and for a while decided to not search. It’s better this way.

When he hears Ernesto has died and it’s there among them, he tries to find Shane, and maybe clear things once and for all. But he finally drops the idea and lets it go.

His no-life goes on, and when he sees Shane for the first time before the bridge, all he wants is to slap the idiot and kiss him, but his pride is stronger and so he turns around and leaves.

He cried all the way to the Human World.

When he realized their great-great grandson was a lot like Shane, a lot like both of them, he couldn’t help but smile.

After Ryan finds out the truth, Shane’s picture is put on the Altar of their family and he goes to no-live with them in the Land of the Death, they have a long talk about their lives and cry together for having found their way to each other again, no matter what.

Both feel guilty for a while, though. Shane for leaving and never finding a way to let Ryan know what happened. And Ryan for closing himself and not believing in Shane’s love for him and Ale, and for their family forgetting him for such a long time.

Eventually, they can heal together. They have all the time in the world now.

At some point, Ryan looks up at Shane with a smirk and goes, “See? Ghosts are real” and Shane wants to die again.

When Ale dies and she reuinites with her parents, there’s a crying fest. 

It hurts Shane that he didn’t get to see his Alejandrita grow up, and that she thought for a long time that he decided to leave them and was selfish enough to never look back to his family.

But seeing Ale’s happiness to see him again and all the love of his family, helps him slowly heal. Now they can all be together.

Shane’s first Día de los Muertos is so funny to everyone, because he doesn’t know what to do and still gets all ?? with some tradition, but he enjoys it all the same.

Life goes on in the Human World, their great-great grandson grows up, he gets married and has his own children than still put their picture in their Altar, and like that, things are okay.

[sahibookworm]

Top Ten Tuesday is a weekly meme created at The Broke and the Bookish that now has a new home at That Artsy Reader Girl.

It’s finally time to talk about all the books I loved and adored in 2019 and I’m already very very excited. These may not all be the ones I rated 5 stars and I may have even found some flaws in them, but they are all the books which I felt a deep connection to, have already reread (atleast some of them) and I would love to share them all with you. Because I have a huge list, I’m gonna divide based on my favorites for each month.

January

All of you already know how much love I have for Red, White and Royal Blue because I have been shouting about it for the past one year now, but I still can’t stop. My first favorite of 2019, it remained my top throughout the year because it’s that special.

I couldn’t believe I had waited so long to read The Song of Achilles because it’s such a well written and emotionally affecting read that I couldn’t forget it for a while. And as expected, it involved a lot of tears.

February

Watch Us Rise is a powerful YA contemporary with lots of commentary on white beauty standards, fatshaming, feminism and intersectionality. It had it’s issues especially regarding white feminism, but I really connected with all the other themes.

The Right Swipe is a super sexy romance featuring a powerful black woman CEO and a soft cinnamon roll ex-football player hero, while also talking about important issues like workplace sexual harassment and the longterm affects of CTE on football players. I loved Rhiannon so much as a character and can’t wait to see her again in the rest of the series.

Heated Rivalry is probably my favorite sports romance of the year and I can’t tell you enough how much I love Ilya and Shane as a couple. The development of their relationship over almost a decade is just brilliantly written and it is at times both sweet and sexy. The author said she would be writing a sequel for them soon and that sounds amazing.

March

The Huntress is a thrilling fictionalized story of the strength and resilience of women who fought in WWII and survived, and also those who fought years later to bring justice to the Holocaust victims, even when the world was ready to forget them all.

The worst part about Descendant of the Crane is the fact that we don’t know if it will ever get a sequel. This book has so many twists and turns and betrayals that I was on the edge of my seat for most of the time. What a debut.

I wasn’t even gonna read The Priory of the Orange Tree but once I started, I just couldn’t stop. It has an expansive world and mythology, an excellent cast of characters and a sapphic romance for the ages.

And one of my most anticipated releases of 2019, We Set the Dark on Fire is the most fiery and passionate romance of the year set in the backdrop of a revolution, and after that mind blowing cliffhanger ending, the sequel can’t come soon enough.

April

Good Talk is a book that left me feeling a lot of things and with many questions on my mind, because I just found it so relatable and relevant to my current life. Too real and heartfelt, maybe even painful at times, but nonetheless a very important read.

I would have never read Aru Shah and the End of Time if not for some cajoling by my dear friend Nandini, but thank god she did. Because, this book is just so much fun and the elements from the Mahabharata are perfectly captured.

May

Shadow of the Fox is the beginning of one of my favorite current YA fantasy series and it was such a delight to read. A sweet and lovely protagonist like Yumeko, a funny and unlikely ensemble cast and a quest full of adventures and monsters – what more could I have asked for.

The Candle and the Flame is what you would call a quiet fantasy, it doesnt have a lot of high stakes but reading it just gives an amazing feeling. And the setting of the fictional City of Noor is probably my favorite of the year. Such a charming and unforgettable debut.

A smiling fat brown girl on a cover – I was in love with There’s Something about Sweetie since the first time I saw it, and it will always have a special place in my heart.

June

I adore The Bone Witch trilogy but the finale The Shadow Glass is my favorite – this series has the best characters, beautiful relationships and an ending that blew my mind. A perfect trilogy…!!!

And now the perfect standalone of the year for me, Sorcery of Thorns. While I love the adorable romance and the ever mysterious demon Silas, the heart of this story is a love of books and I resonated with it very deeply. The climax fight is just perfection.

One Giant Leap is not great by any means, but it’s the sweetest romance I read last year and I just couldn’t get it out of my mind. And the setting of space travel and a delightful set of nerdy characters make for a charming story that will make you smile.

Hungry Hearts is an anthology that has all my heart – a beautiful amalgamation of food and culture and the importance of both in our lives, it’s a heartwarming read and definitely made me very hungry.

July

My top most anticipated release of 2019, A House of Rage and Sorrow was as explosive as I expected it to be and the roller coaster ride just amazed me. I think I raced through it in a couple of hours because I couldn’t put it down for even a second.

Jade City is a book that took it’s time but once it got a hold on me, it wouldn’t let go. I was tense through most of it and the twists and turns just killed me.

I don’t know what I was expecting from Govinda, but I didn’t expect it to just completely mesmerize me. What an imaginative retelling of my favorite epic. And hatsoff to the author for attempting this for her debut.

August

The Merciful Crow is definitely one of my favorite debuts of 2019, with it’s brilliant cast, fascinating world and magic system, an endearing romance and great commentary on class and oppression. I’m very eagerly waiting for The Faithless Hawk.

Three Parts Dead is a book that is pretty out of my comfort zone, but I just wanted to give it a try and it completely blew me away with the unique world building and magic system. I’m quite excited to continue with the rest of the series.

September

I feel like Steel Crow Saga is one of the most underrated fantasy novels of last year and it deserves so much more hype. It has an excellent ensemble of diverse characters, I loved how queernormative it was, the commentary on war and colonization is on point, and it wears it’s Asian inspiration on it’s sleeve. Love it so much.

Bringing Down the Duke was a delight to read and as someone who doesn’t know much about the suffragette movement in the UK, I loved the setting and getting to know more about the struggles the women faced who were fighting for their rights. And the romance is a lot of fun.

I never knew the whole story of the Harvey Weinstein scandal, so reading She Said which is about the investigation, the scope of it and the sheer number of courageous women who came forward to tell their stories, made me feel all kinds of things. This can be a very rage inducing read but also a very important one at the same time.

Probably one of my top favorite YA fantasies of the year, There Will Come a Darkness has excellent worldbuilding, another ensemble cast which I fell in love with and some amazing action sequences. I can’t wait to read the sequel.

October

Burn It Down is an anthology that really affected me, with it’s number of essays on women talking about their relationship with anger and how it has affected them during their life. I think this is a very important read and I know I will be going for it again and again.

Blowout is a fascinating read (and listen) about the Oil and Gas industry and it’s impact on global geopolitics, and I had so much fun listening to it narrated by Rachel herself. It’s very informational, can feel pretty bleak at times but still ends with a dash of hope.

While Catch and Kill is also mostly about the Harvey Weinstein investigation, it’s also a story about the intimidation tactics used by powerful people for covering up their crimes, and the lengths to which sexual harassment is covered up across major corporations. Hatsoff to Ronan for his work but also for his excellent writing style, because this one surely reads like a spy thriller.

November

I never thought a history book would make this list, but How to Hide an Empire is a brilliantly written book about the unknown (or deliberately misrepresented) history of the American empire which exists till today. I learnt a lot of things here and I think it should be required reading for everyone who want to know more about their country.

This is How You Lose the Time War literally has nothing going for me because it is completely out of my comfort zone, but I got lost inside the poetic beauty of this love story and had to try very hard not to cry in public. Such an imaginative book.

The Poppy War was a great debut and I really enjoyed it, but The Dragon Republic took the whole story to another level and I’m just glad that I decided to read this series. It’s absolutely brilliant and I can’t recommend it enough.

I saw Killers of the Flower Moon on a must read books of the decade list, and decided maybe I should give it a try. And what a riveting read this was. The writing itself is exceptional, but it’s the content that is almost disbelieving to read about, and I wish everyone in the country would get to know more about this bloody history of Oklahoma.

December 

I was definitely motivated to read Blood of an Exile because of the presence of dragons, but this book turned out to be so much more. Almost two very different worlds in one, a highly unlikely group of characters coming together to form beautiful friendships and some excellent twists and turns – this became an instant favorite and I can’t wait to read Sorcery of a Queen.

A very unexpected read which wasn’t even on my radar, The Paper Menagerie and Other Stories totally blew my mind with the author’s storytelling as well the very important themes he was able to talk about within just a few words.

Are any of these your favorites too? What are some of your favorite books from last year? Let me know all your thoughts or links in the comments below…

TTT: Favorite Books of 2019 Top Ten Tuesday is a weekly meme created at The Broke and the Bookish that now has a new home at…

[wzly]

Ritt Momney

by Maya Rubin

Listening to Ritt Momney is like reading a diary. Jack Rutter -- Ritt Momney’s frontman and lyricist -- writes lyrics that fluctuate between deeply personal anecdotes that almost alienate listeners in their specificity (“off to college today / my first school without friends,” he sings on Lew’s Lullaby) to universal, painfully relatable platitudes about loneliness, lovesickness, and the struggle of adolescence, sometimes in the same breath. 

Rutter’s performance reflects this dichotomy. He seems shy and reserved onstage, barely looking at the audience and engaging with them even less. He speaks only when necessary to introduce a song, and even then he seems bashful, almost embarrassed. Yet like his music, when Rutter begins singing, the floodgates seem to open. At Ritt Momney’s show at ONCE Ballroom in Somerville on September 22, Rutter seemed to speak the most to the audience when he wasn’t speaking at all.

Ritt Momney began by playing through most of their recent album, Her and All of My Friends, which came out in July. The live versions of the songs were mostly faithful to the album versions, with a few notable exceptions. The drum line in “Pollution / Disclaimer” was elevated from soft lo-fi to a more danceable beat that made the song even more infectious, and a new arrangement of Probably!, from the band’s first EP, showed off just how far the Ritt Momney has progressed musically (though it also showcased the evolution of Rutter’s songwriting -- the song lacks some of his now-signature emotional intimacy). The heart-wrenching “(If) the Book Doesn’t Sell,” while not radically different from the album version, is also better live -- the emotion Rutter poured into the song, ceasing to play the keyboard as he shouted the closing lyrics, was breathtaking. After Rutter’s performance of (If) the Book Doesn’t Sell, which has lyrics like “And to the parents of the kids with tongues down in their throats… / I'm sure you're giving it your best,” I was shocked to meet his mother at the merch table.  Like Father John Misty, another lonely, heartbroken soul to whose work Rutter’s bears startling similarity despite their age and experience gaps, Rutter seems to adopt a different persona onstage. 

While the new version of Probably! works well, an abridged rendition of their breakout single, Young Adult, falls flat. Ritt Momney’s style has evolved much since the classic rock-influenced Young Adult, and without the vocal harmonies from Rutter’s girlfriend, the new version is far less thrilling. Additionally, though the band’s take on Frank Ocean’s Pink Matter is inventive and shows off their abundant musical chops, it isn’t particularly suited to Rutter’s rapping, which works better when slower and more melodic on tracks like Pollution / Disclaimer. Additionally, Rutter’s emotionality is what makes his songs -- whether about religion, depression, or just being in love -- so addictive, so taking on an equally emotive songwriter like Ocean (who has clearly influenced Rutter) doesn’t allow Ritt Momney to shine in the way they do with their original material. 

Preceded by three openers (the local Boston-based bands Bowling Shoes and Raavi and the Houseplants, as well as the Nashville-based Shane T, who is touring with Ritt Momney) Ritt Momney was easily the highlight of the evening. Rutter’s bedroom pop translated well to the intimate venue, and the other musicians (Noah Hamula, Jonas Torgerson, and Sam Olson, friends of Rutter’s from his native Salt Lake City) played like a well-oiled machine. Ritt Momney’s catchy music and universal themes make them a surefire hit. I’m excited to see how Rutter’s songwriting progresses as he ages and experiences the new challenges of adulthood. In interviews, he has called songwriting his therapy, and though watching someone perform a therapy session can be uncomfortable, the catharsis Rutter clearly derives makes it worth it.

[themomsandthecity]

Ariana Grande Was 'Deeply Helpful and Effective' in Ex Mac Miller's Sobriety, Says Friend

One of Mac Miller‘s closest friends is speaking out about the late rapper’s battle with addiction, and how his ex-girlfriend Ariana Grande was “unbelievably involved and helpful” in getting him sober and healthy. On Monday, Shane Powers opened up about Miller’s death on his podcast, The Shane Show — explaining that when Miller and Grande were dating, she has a positive influence on him. “They were very much in love and I have to say, she was incredible when he was first sobering up,” Powers said. “She was a f—ing G to him. There could not have been anybody more supportive of him being sober than Ariana. I saw that, I was around it, I took phone calls from her. ‘How do I help? What do I do?’ This little girl was unbelievably involved and helpful to him being healthy.” “Whether he’s an addict or not, the way that Mac partied was not healthy,” Powers added. “ there was no one in his life more ready to go to the wall for him when it came to him being sober. She was an unbelievably stabilizing force in his life and she was deeply helpful and effective in keeping Mac sober and helping him get sober. She was all about him being healthy. Period.” RELATED: Inside Ariana Grande & Mac Miller’s 2-Year Relationship: ‘We Worked Through Good and Bad Times’ RELATED: Mac Miller Is ‘Happy’ for Ex Ariana Grande Following Her Engagement: ‘It’s All Positive Energy’ Grande, 25, was forced to shut off her Instagram comments in the wake of Miller’s death after trolls blamed her for his suspected overdose. She and Miller split in late April after two years of dating. Grande is currently engaged to Pete Davidson. Miller, whose real name was Malcolm McCormick, was pronounced dead at 11:51 a.m. at his Studio City, California, home on Friday, the Los Angeles County Department of Medical Examiner-Coroner confirmed in a statement to PEOPLE. He was 26. A cause of death is yet to be determined, but a source told PEOPLE that Miller had gone into cardiac arrest after appearing to suffer a drug overdose. RELATED: Mac Miller Dead at 26 of Apparent Overdose: ‘He Was a Bright Light in This World’ Says Family RELATED: Mac Miller’s Most Memorable Songs: From Ariana Grande Features to ‘Donald Trump’ Throughout his life, Miller was very open about his struggles with drugs and sobriety. Following his Macadelic tour in 2012 and the release of his first studio album Blue Slide Park, Miller admitted he turned to drugs to cope with stress. “I love lean; it’s great… I was not happy and I was on lean very heavy,” Miller told Complex in 2013. “I was so f—ed up all the time it was bad. My friends couldn’t even look at me the same. I was lost.” While Miller attempted to turn his life around within the past couple of years, he was arrested for DUI in May, days after his breakup from Grande made headlines. That had trolls attacking Grande again, though she defended herself on Twitter. “How absurd that you minimize female self-respect and self-worth by saying someone should stay in a toxic relationship,” she clapped back, in part, on Twitter. “I am not a babysitter or a mother and no woman should feel that they need to be … I have cared for him and tried to support his sobriety & prayed for his balance for years (and always will of course) but shaming/blaming women for a man’s inability to keep his s—together is a very major problem.” RELATED: Ariana Grande Turns Off Instagram Comments as Trolls Blame Her for Ex Mac Miller’s Death RELATED: ‘One of My Best Friends’: Everything Mac Miller and Ariana Grande Said About Their Relationship Still, Grande remained respectful of Miller. In an Instagram Story at the time of their breakup she called him “one of my best friends in the whole world and favorite people on the planet” — adding, “I respect and adore him endlessly and am grateful to have him in my life in any form, at all times regardless of how our relationship changes or what the universe holds for each of us!” Miller also opened up about the split during a conversation with Zane Lowe on Beats 1 on Apple Music in July, explaining that both he and Grande had moved on since their split. “I was in love with somebody. We were together for two years. We worked through good times, bad times, stress and everything else. And then it came to an end and we both moved on. And it’s that simple,” he said. “It’s all positive energy,” he added. “I am happy for her and moving forward with her life, just as I’m sure she is with me.” View this post on Instagram A post shared by Ariana Grande (@arianagrande) on Sep 8, 2018 at 2:28pm PDT //www.instagram.com/embed.js RELATED: Ariana Grande Breaks Her Silence After Ex Mac Miller’s Tragic Death with a Touching Photo Meanwhile, on Saturday, Grande remembered Miller by posting a black-and-white photograph of the two. In the picture, Miller stares up at the camera while sitting on the grass. A pair of tennis shoes, presumably Grande’s, can be seen between his legs. Choosing to let the image speak for itself, Grande shared the image without a caption. http://bit.ly/2CL0Ygd

[levyfiles]

helloooo!!!! since you are my fave blog about shyan content, i must ask: what are your favorite fics???

AHhh! I–OK well, Lately I’ve been finding more and more fics that fill my heart right up with every gorgeous headcanon there is, but If we’re talking all-time favourites, I have finally compiled a List from the moment I started reading shyan fic in 2018 of fics that have ruined my life; all of them here in no particular order.

Be All My Sins Remembered by spoopyy

Summary: In every lifetime, they find each other.

Review: This fic manages to take you on a long journey through what feels like a series of AUs and they all weave in and out of the wealth of their relationship with some vivid descriptions of the historical settings their journey takes them through. As someone who grew up reading Anne Rice’s epics through historical events, this fic is right up my alley. A vampire Shane passing through the wave of human society’s climb searching for a reincarnated Ryan again and again, trying to hold on to him and keep him through great tragedies and timeframes that just don’t let them be together. This was one of the first fics I read when I was only a lurker and to be quite honest, I need to give this one a nice re-read, maybe for the book club which would be loads of fun. Either way, 10/10. Would be Hurt in the heart again.

Perfect Fit by @beaniegara

Summary: There’s a legend that says anyone able to take all of statue Shane’s cock will summon the god to the mortal realm. Given the statue’s excessive size, no one has ever succeeded to prove or disprove the story.Until Ryan that is.

Review: Listen. You wanna talk actual fandom legends. This fic is one of them and it pulls out all the stops on being delicious and evocative. Also features one of my favourite incarnations of size queen bergara. Good stuff and you’re really rooting for Ryan in this lol. 

Everything’s Weird and We’re Always in Danger by the beethechange

Summary: Ryan perches on the edge of the bed, an indistinct shape that Shane can only just make out in the dark, so he turns the lamp back on. He wants to see Ryan’s face, wants to know that he is alright. Ryan’s cheeks are damp, his hands fisted in the hideous flowered duvet.

“It won’t go away,” Ryan says miserably. “I’ve been like this since we got here, basically, and it won’t fucking—”

“Ah,” Shane says. “Well, you know, sometimes fear…adrenaline…they can affect people. Physically.” He waves his hands indistinctly crotchward. “It’s a, a scientifically known phenomenon.” Shane feels a little better staying in the realm of scientifically known phenomena.

Review: Word of advice. You see a fic is authored by beethechange, run don’t walk because you’re absolutely always going to be treated to the best of banter, the best of prose, chemistry, organic execution and feels right up the bottom end of your heart. This fic, this changed everything I thought I knew I wanted out of a bed-sharing fic. It’s got a little bit of two treats here. You got a sex-pollen-esque situation mixed with bed-sharing and holy fucking damn that is more than you think you deserve, but read this because you do deserve the best of the best. The build up, the dialogue, the surprisingly hilarity of it, the hotness woah, and The Aftermath. When you think you know what you’re in for, you’re wrong and you’re most pleasantly surprised. Get this fic in your life and honestly? while you’re at it, you could do a clean sweep of every fic in her list of works and while my less than adequate reading time management may still be short on some of her most well-recommended pieces, I have an adamant faith that Bee doesn’t disappoint. Go get y’all juice.

Maelstrom by thewindupbird

Summary: Here’s the thing about driving halfway across the country to see someone. You can’t really deny, after that, that you’re pretty much head over heels for them.

Review: Listen. One morning on a day off, I just laid in bed and read this– all 40k+ words– while lying there clutching my pillows, hurting and loving every moment of it. The descriptions of Americana, the slow steady metronome rhythm of Ryan’s feelings as frightened and helpless as they feel when you’re relating deeply to them juxtaposed with the deep-seated struggle of understanding what it is to be with someone you love so much but your mental health is burning quiet holes in your ability to express it in a way that can be understand. Ryan’s fierce determination, breaking through the silence of their non communication is really Everything to me in this fic. i think I really left my heart in the scene in Shane’s parents kitchen. That finished me. Read this fic and understand the deep relief you get when you’ve finished a fight with someone you fiercely care about and they understand you and you understand them and it’s OK; it’s gonna be all right. Augh. 

A Burial on Box Hill by InkStainsOnMyHands

Summary: The Celtics believed that the yew flower symbolized both immortality and death. Meanwhile, for centuries, the buxus flower was seen as a symbol for safe passage into the afterlife.

Or,Shane and Ryan were never the same after investigating the Black Forest of Germany alone.

Review: Let me just quote my bookmark comment here. Usually I flee from tragedy like a cat spotting a cucumber but the brevity and the prose dragged me in and now I’m a functioning mess. Bless this fic. Oh my god it’s short and reads like one of those quick horror stories you’ll read to your friends just as the scary stories are transitioning from the urban legends to the ones that feel real. Big warning for main character death but still read it if you appreciate a good story told.

Body Farming by shiphitsthefan

Summary: Failed suppressants and a surprise heat: the worst of cliches, and here Ryan stands, living the trope on location with the alpha he’s hopelessly in love with. Even worse, they’re spending the night in the famous Bell Witch Cave, completely alone and with no way to contact the outside world.

Ryan knows he can survive and keep his preheat a secret, as long as Shane will stop being so protective and concerned. After all, it’s not like Shane wants to bond with him.

Right?

Review: Now judging from the reactions of many people I’ve spoken to, big heavy ABO kink is not popular here but guys, GUYS. This one. Let this one in I promise it is not what you think it is. The dynamic is organic and the worst side of the trope is subverted in all the best ways and lord help us, the smut is hot, like swelteringly smoking. It’ll stay with you. 

Believer by cellard00rs

Summary: Some demons and otherworldly creatures love climbing up the power ladder. Shane is not one of these. He likes where he is (thank you very much) and has no interest in moving up. All he wants is to give his friend Ryan a nice birthday gift. So, naturally, everything goes to hell.

Review: This fic is another fandom legend. When I think demon!Shane. It’s this and one other one that always pops right into my mind. This was my first exposure to the bureaucracy meets the supernatural!Shane trope and I was sold from the get-go. The Shane in this fic is everything I imagine a demon!Shane is and his ginger care for Ryan, the concept of their bond and how even though Shane is a demon and responsible for keeping the supernatural a firm secret from Ryan and the rest of the world, his skepticism is relayed through his status as a demon. I want to talk more about it but I think so much of the enjoyment comes from the surprises as the plot unfurls. 

Heartbeat by quackers

Summary: So the guy Ryan sits next to at work is a vampire. That’s no big deal, right?

Review: I could talk your literal ear off about this fic. Vampires, man. I love the trope; you don’t know me as a person if you don’t know this at least. And this fic kept me fed all damn year. It was a readable garden. If there is one thing I can guarantee about quackers’ work, it’s that their world-building is a festival of detail. The realms and alternate universes they work with while still managing to keep Shane and Ryan’s voices so familiar and real is a talent not attributed to your everyday author. This fic propelled me into wanting to write more and more because quackers makes stories so much fun! Reading their work is, to me, not unlike the feeling I got when I was younger and finding series that speak to my need to escape this crummy existence, made me want to believe in fun spicy things like a vampire that lived through centuries, cynical but still searching, navigating a world where people are still people, adjusting to differences and prejudices, finding comfort in a guy that understands that and more. I’ve talked about this fic in more than a few different posts so I’d just be reiterating a lot of things I loved about the more historical aspects of Shane’s journey, the way Ryan is so firmly curious and inventive in ways to connect with Shane. Look, even if vampires aren’t your thing, I can promise that if you visit quackers list of work, you will find something for your supernatural-lovin’ palate that speaks to a gentler side of your own curiosity about monsters and the jocks that love them. lol.

I’ll Crawl Home by carrieonfighting

Summary: “Shane was almost unnerved by how quickly he’d settled into this body, this name, this life - his friendship with Ryan was the most time he’d spent with any human before, and yet the man fascinated him.”

Review: This is the second fic I think of when someone says the words ‘demon!Shane’ to me because ohhhh my word, this fic is a masterpiece. I really am hard pressed to find anything better than the feeling I get when I think of demon!Shane headcanons interwoven with the irl Buzzfeed reality and the idea of the Ryan as we know him being protected and watched and loved so deeply by a demon that found him so long ago and wanted nothing but to protect him. I feel an almost vicious glee reliving that moment when Ryan and Shane are on goatman’s bridge and man, I just really love canonical fic mixed with a slight twist. The writing in this makes it work so well with lines that still haunt my heart and soul like “Ryan liked popcorn. So did the demon. Genuinely, not just out of a desire to please the human – he liked the way it crunched between his vessel’s teeth. There were some aspects of taking a corporeal form that were…nice; laughing, coffee, feeling warm. Ryan made him laugh.” FUCK! The beautiful agony of it, watching the demon fall in love with Ryan through the eyes of his vessel. Just stark with pain and unspoken, well-written angst and pain with a perfect ending, I wouldn’t change for anything. I love this for us as a fandom and will always love that author crafted this piece and shared it with us. (Also every time I hear Work Song by Hozier, I think of this fic again and sigh).

Like I said at the beginning, thanks to @skepticbeliever-bookclub I’ve been discovering and re-discovering some fics I hadn’t had the chance to read and or have never even heard of before and my bookmarks list is growing with each new week. So if you get through this list and need more in your life, here you go. Every fic in my bookmarks deserves the community’s attention. If I can just make one special request of you guys? If you do happen to click any of these and enjoy what you read, please take the time and tell the author what you loved about it. It really changes the game out here for fanworks and fan-creators like you wouldn’t even believe and the people who shared these works with us worked hard to make the stories what they are and put a great deal of emotional investment in sharing it. Share more than your silence in return. 

Hope you find something you like here, nonnybabe..