#i also say all of this as someone who married sam and adores his goofy ass

[wildflowercryptid]

i know people who marry shane get pegged with having a "i can fix him" mentality when romancing him, but let's be real... that really should apply to sam lovers instead, considering all the military kid deprogramming you'd have to go through with him.

[diaphragmjellyfish]

Miguel Diaz fluff alphabet

A = Attractive (What do they find attractive about the other?)

Miguel loves your smile. He’s a funny guy and he thinks your smile lights up a room so he makes it his mission to make you laugh as much as possible. If you have some crooked teeth, he thinks it’s adorable. Also, looking at your smile makes him think about your lips which just makes him want to kiss you.

B = Baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why not?)

Yes, after he gets a stable job. He would love kids but he doesn’t want to be like his dad and end up abandoning his family so he would make extra sure he could support the child and you and makes a conscious effort to be there for his family no matter what. Asking about their day, being involved in their sports/clubs/hobbies, making snacks when they have friends over. He just wants to be the Cool Dad ™ and would probably try to teach them karate before they could even sit up.

C = Cuddle (How do they cuddle?)

He loves to have you sit between his legs and lean back against his chest so he can wrap his arms around you and make sure you’re always safe and warm. It’s the perfect position for movies, video games, deep conversations, baths. He will also often come up behind you at a party and hold you like this if someone is hitting on you or if you look uncomfortable or bored. He can whisper little jokes in your ear or kiss you on the cheek.

D = Dates (What are dates with them like?)

He loves fun dates. You both have always found fancy dinner dates really awkward. He likes something where you guys can move around, do activities, and just let loose. The go-to’s are usually mini golf, the arcade, the zoo, or just a nice picnic in the park. He often gets you little gifts before dates, though, like flowers, a stuffed animal, or a cool rock he found. His Yaya taught him never to show up for a date empty handed. And he’s a total gentleman, never making you uncomfortable or rushing things. Miguel keeps his hands to himself unless instructed otherwise.

E = Everything (You are my ____ (e.g. my life, my world…)

You are my sunshine. As cheesy as it is, Miguel sees you as the shining light in his life. You make everything better, whether that’s an injury, a bad day at school, or losing a fight at training. He knows he can always go to you and be distracted by your beautiful smile.

F = Feelings (When did they know they were in love?)

Miguel first knew he was in love with you when you met his family for the first time. They invited you over for dinner one night and he told you his Yaya didn’t speak much english, so you asked him to teach you some spanish so you could talk with her. It wasn’t perfect, you made lots of grammar mistakes and really only said a couple sentences to her, but the effort you made combined with the smile on Yaya’s face made him fall absolutely head-over-heels.

If you already speak spanish, it would be seeing you talk with his Yaya and joke around with her over dinner.

G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?)

The most gentle boy on the face of the Earth. Like I said earlier, Miguel keeps his hands to himself unless you tell him otherwise. The first time you guys kiss, he barely moves a muscle. You had to grab his hands and put them on your waist. Even now, when he’s teaching you karate, he refuses to hit or grab you, so you honestly don’t really learn anything lol and if you’re sick or sleeping, he’s like a feather, so scared to disturb you. It’s like touching a kitten honestly

H = Hands (How do they like to hold hands?)

All. The. Time. He’s not too big on PDA, except for hand-holding. This is how he lets everyone know you’re taken without seeming possessive or gross. Miguel will grab your hand at the mall, at school, while y’all are cuddling, at the beach, literally whenever you’re in arm’s reach from him, he’s holding your hand.

I = Impression (What was their first impression?)

Miguel’s first impression of you is that you’re this bright ray of sunshine. He’s drawn to you like a magnet. Your eyes, your smile, your laugh! And when he finally works up the nerve to say hi (Strike first!) he thinks his heart might actually melt. When you actually laugh at the joke he makes and hold out your hand to introduce yourself, he turns bright red and can barely speak omfg this poor boy. But luckily you think it’s sweet and keep talking to him.

J = Jealousy (Do they get jealous?)

He did at first, we’ve all seen how he acts with Sam and Robby, but you lay down the law. You have to tell him that it’s not cool, it makes people uncomfy, and then he finally starts to work on it. Now he’s better. He still feels jealous sometimes, but he trusts you and can control himself a bit more.

K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?)

So your first kiss. You were giving him The Look for like 10 minutes straight and he never made a move. He just stared at you. So you had to be the first one to actually lean in, but once you did, he met you halfway. His kisses match his personality. Sweet, gentle, and goofy, but with a more dominant, aggressive side if you know how to bring it out ;)

L = Love (Who says ‘I love you’ first?)

He did. After you had dinner with his family and he realized he loved you, he told you almost immediately. This boy just wears his heart on his sleeve. He was walking you home and when you got to your house and turned around to kiss him goodnight, he had a funny look on his face. When you asked him what was wrong he kind of went ILOVEYOU! Really fast and you had to make him say it again slower because you thought he had a stroke or smth lmaooo but once he took a deep breath and said it more clearly, you jumped on him and kissed his whole face and said it back a hundred times.

M = Memory (What’s their favourite memory together?)

When he first introduced you to Sensei Lawrence. He thought Sensei was gonna be super mean and make fun of you, but turns out you guys had a lot in common. You loved 80’s rock music, and responded to his sass with even more sass. Johnny almost couldn’t believe Miguel was able to get such a cool babe. You guys all had lunch after taking a tour of the dojo, and it was a super fun day! You all drove around in Johnny’s car with the windows down listening to Guns ‘n Roses.

N = Nickel (Do they spoil? Do they buy the person they love everything?)

Miguel spoils you in his own little way. His family isn’t as fortunate as others, but he still finds ways to make you feel special. Instead of a diamond necklace, he gives you a cool rock he found outside and cleaned up. Instead of taking you to expensive restaurants, he spends all day cooking with Yaya to make a nice picnic for you guys to have on the beach. And he saves up to buy you nice gifts for your birthday or anniversary.

O = Orange (What colour reminds them of their other half?)

Rose gold. You’re so beautiful to him and have this natural charm that everyone falls for. You’re so radiant and yet soft and unique. He just love love loves you.

P = Pet names (What pet names do they use?)

Sweety, sweetheart, baby, gorgeous, and Princess during more intimate moments.

Q = Quaint (What is their favourite non-modern thing?)

80’s rock music. He learns to love it through Sensei Lawrence. He even saves up to buy a record player so he can feel more connected to the past.

R = Rainy Day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?)

Build blanket forts, cuddle, bake cookies, he might even let you put makeup on him if you ask nice.

S = Sad (How do they cheer themselves/others up?)

Humor. He loves cracking jokes and lightening the mood. If you’re ever feeling down you know you can go to him and he will turn that frown upside down in mere minutes. Honestly even just being in his presence makes you happier. He cheers himself up by working out, taking some alone time to get his feelings out, and then going out with some friends or with you.

T = Talking (What do they like to talk about?)

Umm, karate! Duh lol the boy is obsessed with it. Also superhero movies, video games, his day, he’s honestly kind of a rambler. He can talk about anything and everything if he’s nervous enough. Let’s not forget the gas station scene in season 1…

U = Unencumbered (What helps them relax?)

You, dark rooms, white noise, puppies, linen scented candles, his mom’s cooking.

V = Vaunt (What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?)

His new muscles. Ever since joining Cobra Kai, he’s gotten pretty ripped and now it’s a struggle to get him to keep his shirt on. He worked hard for that body, he wants people to see how good he looks!

W = Wedding (When, how, where do they propose?)

After college, he takes you on a hike up to this ridge overlooking a lake. It’s fall, the leaves are changing colors, and there’s no one around. You guys have been holding hands the whole time, but his hand is super sweaty even though it’s like 50 degrees out. You guys finally get to the top of the ridge and he grabs both your hands and tells you all the things he loves about you. This boy basically recites your whole love story, and as soon as he sticks his hand in his pocket you know what’s going on. He barely even got the box out of his pocket before you were jumping on him screaming Yes! You guys fell to the ground and he stopped you so he could officially get the words out. You were both crying, it was very beautiful.

X = Xylophone (What’s their song?)

More Than Words by Extreme. You guys dance to this at your wedding.

Y = Yes (Do they ever think of getting married/proposing?)

Absolutely. Y’all marry pretty young, like right out of college. He knew you were gonna get married on the first date.

Z = Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what would they get?)

Iguana. He thinks they’re like little dinosaurs! He would name it Wade because we know he loves Deadpool.

[angelicxholland]

Hi can you do a Tom Holland one where the reader and him like just got married and their all cute and movie dovey and like in the honey moon phase ?please

Mrs. Holland

A/N: ohhh I love this 🥺 oh and it’s my first time writing smut so go easy with me please

Summary: You and Tom just got married and your honeymoon is about to start, where you make amazing memories

Warnings: SMUT 18+, mentions of bullying, unprotected sex (always use protection kiddos), oral (m and f receiving), not prove read

Word count: 3.5K

“You may kiss the bride now!” the priest said and Tom pulled you into a loving kiss shortly after. This was the best day in your life and nothing could ruin it for you. You were with the love of your life, which you just married a few seconds ago. The guests around you applauded when Tom was kissing you and lips turned into a smile. His arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer and not letting you go.

He was yours. You were his. From now on you were Mrs Holland.

Y/n Holland.

When you pulled away, Tom picked you up bridal style and carried you out of the church and let you back down, when he was standing outside. Both your families were extremely happy and they couldn’t hide their joy for you.

When you first met Tom you didn’t even know what marriage was in the first place. You were six years old and were playing on the playground. You were building a big, beautiful sandcastle and just when you’ve finished, there came this boy, who was around eight, and stepped on your castle on purpose. You started to cry immensely and that was when Tom stepped into your life.

He was seven at this moment and when he saw what the boy did to your sandcastle, he got mad. He walked to the boy and pushed him into the sand and helped you to stand up. Tom’s mother Nikki wasn’t happy about that at all. She didn’t raise him to push another boy for no reason, but when she saw that he defended you, she was proud even tho it wasn’t great to push someone to the ground.

Tom had wiped your tears away and asked you if he can build a new castle with you and you agreed to this idea. From this day you got to see him more often. You grew up with him because your moms were friends in high school.

A few years later he became your best friend and then your boyfriend. You two dated for around five years and that’s when he finally proposed to you. It was your best day ever back then. Today he was not your boyfriend anymore, he was your husband!

When Tom let you down you pulled him in for another sweet kiss and looked at your ring afterwards and smiled. You were marred with your ring that you didn’t even notice that Tom’s parents were approaching both of you and pulled Tom into a loving hug.

Suddenly you heard Tom call your name and looked up to see him and his parents smiling at you “sorry, what did you say?” you asked and Tom just chuckled and pulled you into his side “my parents congratulated us”

“Oh yeah, thank you,” you said and got pulled into a hug by Nikki shortly after, “finally I’ve got the daughter I always wanted to have,” she said and you heard Tom coughing behind you two. When you pulled away and saw Tom pouting which made you all laugh and Nikki told him that she had wonderful boys but always wanted a daughter too.

After that Dom pulled you into a hug too and told you that he’s glad that Tom chose you as his bride and that you are a lovely couple. “Tom can be proud to have such a lovely girl as his wife” he added and Tom agreed.

You received so much more congratulations that you couldn’t count them anymore. So when everyone congratulated you, Tom and you drove to the venue where you would throw a party to celebrate your marriage. You would also have the father-daughter dance with your dad there and he told you that he practised all last week for it and couldn’t wait to show you his skills. You had laughed at that and told him that you bet that his skills are amazing.

And his skills were indeed amazing. It was so great to spend such a meaningful experience with your dad and you thanked him afterwards. When the song had ended, you felt a hand on your shoulder, which you identified as Tom’s. Your father left the two of you alone and you turned around to face your amazing husband.

The music started to play and Tom started to dance with you. While dancing you had laid your head against his chest and told him, how much you love him and that you couldn’t wait for your honeymoon with him anymore. “Me too, darling! Me too!” He said and danced with you for another few songs.

You danced until your feet were sore and Tom had to carry you to a chair and pull your shoes off. He placed a kiss on top of each foot and sat next to you. “Do you wanna drink something, love?” He asked and you shook your head no but thanked him nevertheless.

After many hours of dancing, drinking and laughing you decided to call it a day and go home. Your feet were still sore but you didn’t want your husband to carry you for the rest of the day. So you stood up, took your shoes and walked with bare feet to the car, where your and his family waited for you to say goodbye.

It would be the last time in a month because tomorrow morning your honeymoon started. Tom’s best mate Harrison suggested to drive you to the airport in the early morning. You and Tom decided to go to Hawaii, so you booked a plane in the early morning. You would stay three weeks in Hawaii and Tom booked a whole mansion for you two. There was also a bit of the beach attached. That means you would also have a private beach, which was great so you could have a little bit more privacy.

When you arrived home you were so glad that your suitcase was already packed so you didn’t have to do it now, because you were really tired and couldn’t concentrate properly anymore. You didn’t even notice how Tom was standing behind you and asking if you were tired. When you didn’t answer he just picked you up and carried you into your shared bedroom where he laid you on the bed.

You were still in your wedding dress and had to remove it first. You sat up and asked him if he could open your zipper, which he gladly did. Left were your bra and underwear and Tom knew that you were tired so he pulled off your bra and gave you a shirt of his to wear. You send him a goofy smile and pulled it on. Tom pulled off his suit and laid next to you under the covers in just his underwear.

It didn’t take long and both of you were deep asleep in each other’s arms and dreaming about your future together.

The next morning did Tom wake you up with some breakfast and a good cup of tea. You were a bit disappointed to not having him laying next to you but when you saw the breakfast he made for you, you weren’t any longer sad. You sat at the dining table together and he served you the delicious breakfast. You didn’t know Tom could cook so amazing. It was even better then the ones Sam cooked on Sunday.

Your plate was real quick empty and you felt at this moment so full. You believed that when you would move, you would throw up now. But you didn’t.

Tom chuckled at your behaviour and pressed a kiss against your cheek and made his way into the bathroom, “I’m gonna take a shower” he said and looked at you for another second, hoping that you would join but you weren’t in the mood for it. So you just put the dishes away and got dressed.

Just when Tom went out of your bedroom fully dressed, rang the doorbell. You opened the door and greeted Harrison with a loving hug. You two had a really great friendship but it was nothing compared to tom and his. You gripped your suitcase and followed Tom outside of Harrison’s car. You both placed your suitcases into the trunk and got into the car. Tom sat on the passenger seat and you in the back of the car.

The drive to the airport wasn’t long but when you arrived, you hat to say your goodbyes. You and Tom gave Haz a tight hug and then you went into the airport and checked in. Now we had to wait for our plane to board. We decided to sit down at our gate already and a few of toms fan came to you and asked for a photo or an Autograph. Tom didn’t deny any of their questions and you absolutely adored this side of him. He was always so kind and sweet.

After a few hours of waiting, you could finally go on the plane and it didn’t take long and you sat in your first-class seats. You were really glad to have booked first class because 22 hours was a big amount of time. You both were separated from the other guests. It was basically like a room for you two. Your two seats, separated through a thin wall where you could place your water bottle on top of it, a little tv in front of you and a pillow and a blanket to sleep with. It was so unreal and Tom just laughed at your reaction.

During the flight, you watched a lot of movies with your loving husband. You even watched his latest movie and you couldn’t stop staring at him when there was a shirtless scene. He was perfect for you and you made sure to show him that every single day. You also got a whole meal served which Tom said was absolutely delicious and it was. It was really delicious, but it would never compare to your breakfast in the morning.

You spend 12 hours of the flight like this and you slept the other ten hours with your hand in toms lap, where he held it tight in his own. He slept as well while I was sleeping and when I woke up again, from a really good sleep, Tom showed me a photo he took of me sleeping. He made it his background on his phone and couldn’t stop smiling. You already knew that your honeymoon would be amazing.

Once you had landed you got your suitcases and left the airport. It was really beautiful outside and you still had the whole day to spend together. Due to the time difference you had with London, where you in Hawaii at noon.

Tom called an Uber for the both of you, which drove you to your rented house. When you arrived there you couldn’t close your mouth anymore. It was big and amazing. It was like a dream and you couldn’t move. Tom laughed again at your reaction and got your suitcases out of the trunk and put them inside the house. You still couldn’t move so Tom had to come back outside and carry you into the house. “I can walk by myself” you laughed and he put you back down and kissed your cheek before taking your suitcases upstairs into the master bedroom.

You followed your husband upstairs and kissed him on the cheek when you entered your bedroom and opened your suitcase to pull a bikini out. You went into the bathroom and changed into it and when you went outside again, you saw Tom in just his swim shorts. Your eyes went down his body to his abs and his v line. You bit your lower lip and stepped closer to lay your hand against his toned skin. “I’m gonna go sunbath a bit ok, love?” You said and he nodded and followed you downstairs and onto the beach.

The beach was just wonderful. The sand as white as snow and the water was shimmering turquoise. You’ve gripped a towel before leaving the bedroom and laid it into the sand to lay down on it. Tom went directly into the water. He dived in and when he came to the surface you saw the droplets running down his face. His hair sticking to his forehead, which absolutely looked stunning.

You couldn’t look away and when Tom caught you staring he came outside the water and towards you. “You enjoying yourself, darling?” He asked and you simply nodded and asked him if he could put sunscreen on your back. Tom kneed down next to you and started to apply sunscreen on your back. His soft skin rubbing gentle circles on your skin, which let you moan. Tom started to giggle and finished with the sunscreen. “I’ve got a surprise for you later the day, darling,” he said and went back into the salty water.

Later that day you joined Tom in the water and you had a lot of fun together and you still couldn’t believe that he finally was your husband. You cuddled in the sun and spoilt each other with kisses and touches. You even watched the sunset together and then it was time to go back inside. You were already pretty tired but you blamed it on your Jetlag.

Tom placed your hand in his and pulled you upstairs into the bedroom with him, “ready for your surprise, darling?” he asked and you just nodded. He gripped your ways, lifted you and threw you into the sheets. In the next moment, Tom was hovering over you and spoilt you with kisses all-around your neck and collarbone.

His lips were really soft that they felt like silk on your skin. He then started to suck on the thin skin at your neck and left a pulsating purple spot. He continued to suck all-around your neck until you were covered in multiple hickies. Every time Tom started to suck on a new spot, let a moan escape your mouth, which sounded like music to his ears.

He eventually stopped with covering you in hickies and opened the bow on the back of your bikini top to slide it off of your body. Now were your naked breasts fully exposed to him and when Tom looked down to your naked breast he started to smile and attached his lips to one of your nipples and started to suck on it. The other breast got massaged by his hand and more moans started to leave the pretty mouth of yours.

While Tom was sucking on your nipple you ran your fingers through his now dry hair and pulled at it, so he had to moan too. At the first tug, he let out a quiet moan, which sends a shiver down your body and it made you even more aroused than you already were.

Your hands slid from his hair to his neck and to his shoulders, where you left some slight scratch marks. Tom popped his mouth from your nipple and started to suck on the other one. “Tommy, yes! So good” you moaned and that’s when Tom lucked up at you “oh is that so, darling?” he grinned and placed a lustful kiss on your lips and he grabbed one of your breast, which let you moan again. Tom took the opportunity and slipped his tongue inside your mouth and kissed young with a lot of passion.

You kissed him back with the same amount of passion and told him how much you needed him right now. Tom grinned at your words and kissed down your body until he reached the waistband of your bikini bottom. He pressed a last kiss to pelvis before he tugged your bikini bottom and pulled him off. Now you were fully exposed to him and he still had his swim shorts on, but you could clearly see his bulge.

Tom looked at you for another second, then pressed a loving, wet kiss against your bare pussy, “so wet for me already, darling” he said and licked a long strip through your folds and you let out a pornographic moan at his action. “Your Fingers! Use your fingers, Tom!” You didn’t have to ask twice because he immediately replaced his tongue with his finger and slipped it inside your core. “So wet for me!”

He quickly added a second finger and started to suck on your clit, which made you see stars and you could already feel your first high for the night approaches. He slid his finger in and out of you in a ravish pace “Tom, I’m close” you moaned and t Tom went even faster with his fingers. you felt your lower stomach tighten and that when you cummed all over his fingers.

Tom pulled his fingers out of your dripping core and licked his fingers in front of your eyes clean. You watched him while sucking on his fingers while you came down from your high. When your breath started to get normal again you sat up and placed a sweet kiss on his lips. You could taste yourself on his mouth and it immediately turned you on again. You grabbed toms shoulders and pushed him down on the bed, looking at the tent that was forming at his lower half. You kissed his lips again and then discarded his pants.

His cock sprung free and hit his lower stomach immediately, precum on his tip. You liked your lips and placed both your hands just above his dick. “Y/n please!” he said and you chuckled a bit “use your words, pretty boy,” you said and waited for him to talk.

“Touch me y/n! Please! I’m begging you!” he said and you couldn’t say no to him now. You stripped with one of your fingers along his shaft and he let out a pornographic moan as you did before. You smiled at him and looked the whole time at him when you started to move your hand up and down his dick. Tom started to moan uncontrollably and you couldn’t stop grinning.

“Please use your pretty mouth of yours, love” he begged and that’s when you licked his tip and tasted his precum. Tom was aching for a release underneath you and begged you to suck him off. He begged so hard that you gave in and licked a long strip at his shaft before taking it in your mouth. You tried to take everything in but his dick was just too big to fit into your pretty mouth so you used your hand and gripped around the bottom of his cock.

You slowly started to bop your head up and down and swallowed everything you could fit. Tom moaned more and more and you knew he wouldn’t last long anymore, so you pulled away and pressed one last kiss to the tip of his dick before you pulled away.

Tom looked at you shocked “why did you stop?” he pouted and you placed a loving kiss on his lip, “I want you to cum inside of me” you said and he kissed you one last time and lined himself with your entrance. You looked one last time at him and smiled before you sank down on his cock. You both let out a loud moan at the same time.

“You’re so tight, love!” He said and waited for you to stretch out a bit before he started to move in and out of you. You both moaned in sync and you started to bounce faster on top of him. It didn’t take long and the both of you were almost reaching your high. “Yes, Tommy! I’m so close” you said and Tom decided to go even harder and faster. You felt your walls tighten and before you knew it, was your high approaching you already and you couldn’t push it back anymore.

“Cum for me, darling!” He said and that was enough to send you over the edge. You were cumming really hard and your walls tightened around toms cock and that was enough for him. He spilt his cum inside of you and you milked ever drop with your still pulsating walls out of him.

When you came down from your high, you slipped his dick out of your pussy and laid down next to you. Your and his cum leaking out of your pussy and Tom pushed his fingers one last time into you to pushed his cum back in until nothing wasn’t leaking out anymore, “I hope this was enough to make a baby” he said and you nodded.

This was the first round of many others. You did it in the bedroom, the living room, the shower and even the beach. No one could stop you and it was the best three weeks of your whole life.

Everything Tag list:

@hollanddolanfangirl @marvelousell

Tom Holland tag list:

@prkrholland @anusha-swritings @twilightrevival

[palettes-and-prompts]

100 First Meetings (Dialogue Prompts)

1) "Were you the one in the bathroom a second ago trying different lines in the mirror to work up the courage to ask that barista out?" 2) "Wow, you're cute." 3) "You come here often?" "This is a morgue." 4) "You! What the hell are you doing in here? We're closed!" 5) "Ahhhh! I hate my fucking life!!!" "Mood." 6) "You have magic?!" 7) "You don't look like you'll last a day here." 8) "You should leave before your date gets back from the bathroom, I saw them in here the other day popping the question to two different people." 9) "They never told me they had a younger brother/sister." 10) "Who's the twink?" 11) "I gotta ask, are you mad about something or is your face just /like that?/" 12) "You're my new roommate?" 13) "You're not married are you?" 14) "Hey, you're not dead are you? Cause I'm on probation and I can't afford to be involved in a fucking murder or something." 15) "So you're the one causing all this trouble." 16) "I need you to pretend we're dating so this dude will leave me alone." 17) "Honey, there you are I've been looking all over for you! Pretend you're with me so this person will go away." 18) "So you're the loud moaner from upstairs, huh, never knew you'd be so cute." 19) "You're not the pizza guy." 20) "You know, when I said I wish the love of my life would just fall out of the sky this isn't exactly what I had in mind." 21) "Any particular reason you're putting peanut butter in my kid's hair?" 22) "You made me dinner?" 23) "You've got the wrong room, but feel free to stay naked." 24) "You must be the motherfucker who broke my windshield!" 25) "Hi, you are very naked." 26) "You their new toy?" 27) "How'd you like to make fifty bucks?" 28) "I know I'm going to regret asking but who are you?" 29) "You got any friends?" "No." "Well you do now, come sit with us!" 30) "Cute face, I'd love to sit on it sometime." 31) "Where'd you find this dork?" 32) "Uh, there any particular reason you're screaming at two thirty-six in the morning? 33) "Out of curiosity, do you think you could lift a dead body?" 34) "If you don't let go of this bag of chips I swear to god I'll bring you to your knees in the middle of this fucking WinnDixie." 35) "WHO THE FUCK ATE THE LAST OF THE FUCKIN DORITOS, I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL-oh! I'm sorry, I didn't know we had a guest. If I'd known we had a guest I would've cleaned." 36) "Are you the vegan cannibal? Because I have so many questions." 37) "Ooh, hello Mommy/Daddy. Fuck, did I just say that out loud?" 38) "Am I dead? Are you an angel? Am I in heaven?" "Actually you're in a taco bell, you tried to do a kick flip on your skateboard in the parking lot and hit your head on the side of the dumpster." 39) "You brought a fucking guest to our SECRET BASE?! I'll deal with you later. Hi, hello, it's very nice to meet you please make yourself at home!" 40) "So, you gay or what?" 41) "No, sorry, we don't want any girl scout cookies." 42) "Holy shit, you just saved my fucking life!" 43) "Hey, honey, it's just me. You were in a really bad accident so don't try moving around too much, okay? How are you feeling?" "You called me honey. Do I know you?" 44) "Jesus, your face is about as red as your hair." 45) "Run along little ballerina, you wouldn't want to be caught hanging around the bad kids, would you?" 46) "No, I'm not the stripper, but I can be if you'd like." 47) "You ready to cut open some bodies?" 48) "Get in if you want to live." 49) "What are you looking at, short stack? Mind your own business." 50) "Your headphones aren't plugged in properly so I can hear everything you're listening to. I was going to tell you earlier but then you started watching the weirdest porn I've ever seen and I didn't want to embarrass you, but I'm about to leave so I figured I'd tell you before someone else sits around you." 51) "I don't know what they've told you but we don't need another member, go home." 52) "Hey, stop right there, you can't steal that! That's illegal!" 53) "Who's the nerd?" 54) "You look like the kind of person who wears days of the week underwear." 55) "So, how many pitchers of margaritas are you allowed to sell me?" 56) "My head fucking kills, I shouldn't have drank last night. Hey, wait, why do you and I have matching rings on our fingers?!" 57) "Congratulations, idiot! You just ruined a six month plan and now we have to start all over!" 58) "That is the ugliest shirt I've ever seen, where can I get one just like it?" 59) "I know you make straight A's, but I'm still not sure if you're really smart or dumb but really lucky. Because I've seen someone ask you what the square root of pi is and you answer with 'I don't know, I guess it depends on the flavor.'" 60) "Who the fuck let you in?" 61) "Hey, I'll give you twenty bucks if you take a photo with me to make my ex jealous." 62) "So, you eat ass or what?" 63) "You a cop?" "No." "Too bad, you would have looked good in a uniform." 64) "With a face like that I'll be whoever you want me to be." 65) "Hey, you have eyes, do you think this outfit makes me look fat? You can be honest, I can handle it." 66) "I'm just looking for a nice person to settle down with who'll fuck me hard and tell me they love me when they cum on my face, like, I feel like that's not too fucking much to ask for, you know? Anyway, I'll have a diet coke and the chicken salad, please." 67) "I swear to god, this is not what it looks like." 68) "First of all, don't you fucking come in here and try and start a fight with my best friend while you're looking straight goofy as hell in those fucking Walmart shorts and those thrift store crocs." 69) "HEY! YOU ACROSS THE STREET! YOUR DOG IS SO FUCKING CUTE AND I WOULD FUCKING DIE FOR THEM!" 70) "Anyone who says they don't like musicals is either lying to themselves, has never watched one, or is a heartless android sent by the government to blend into society and collect information about us." 71) "Asking someone out is easy, watch this. Hi, I think you're cute and if you're not seeing anyone do you want to go out sometime?" 72) "Hey, I saw you crying earlier when you stepped on a bug. Do you need me to, like, call someone for you?" 73) "I can't tell if you're really high and just hungry or if you're buying 28 family bags of shredded cheese at three am because you just love cheese. Either way you should probably also buy some laxatives or lactaid while you're already here." 74) "When I told you to make a power point about something you're passionate about for our first class meeting I didn't mean make a power point on 'How to Give Great Head' and I absolutely didn't tell you to include pictures." 75) "Are you wearing that tacky ass outfit because you genuinely like it or because you're a Leo and crave the attention?" 76) "Did you really just buy the last chocolate chocolate chip muffin? You are now dead to me." 77) "The fuck are you looking at loser?" 78) "Dude, books are just like subtitles without the movie." 79) "Hey, in your tinder bio is says your friends call you Badger Slammin' Sam and I literally only swiped right just to find out why." 80) "Are you hitting on me? Am I being punked? Are you a hooker? Did my dumbass friend put you up to this?" 81) "Hey, I need you to settle something for me and my friend. Which is the right way to pronounce carrot?" 82) "Do you believe in love at first sight, what about disgust at first glance?" 83) "Look, I'm not saying that MCR's last album changed my life, but I'm absolutely saying that." 84) "Can you move out of my way, I have to clean puke off the floor before I'm allowed to use my lunch break to cry in my car." 85) "Hi, I believe this very drunk person is your roommate, they told me this is the address. I caught them in my backyard playing with my dog again." 86) "I know you're probably not allowed to do this, but I kind of need to borrow an iguana." 87) "Hey, I saw you drop your sandwich in the parking lot earlier and start crying and I felt bad for not saying anything earlier, but I went to the sandwich shop and luckily the dude remembered your oddly specific order so I got you another one. I hope you get to feeling better." 88) "No, we don't sell 'that crazy kush' here, you can try Target." 89) "I was just calling because you sent me a picture text three weeks ago by accident with the caption 'When they let you deliver the digiorno after you clap them cheeks.' and I was just wondering if you could explain what that means because it's been keeping me up at night ever since you sent it." 90) "Hey, I just overheard you talking with your friends about how you put mustard, ketchup, and ranch on your macaroni and cheese and I just wanted to come over here and personally ask you which circle of hell you crawled up from." 91) "What the fuck is a diet water?" 92) "You guys here for the orgy?" 93) "Was that your scream? Why did it sound like a banshee?" 94) "I saw you pour two five hour energy shots into a cup of coffee earlier and then proceed to mix it with monster and red bull and like, dude I know this isn't really my place or whatever but I think you should probably go to the hospital. Like, I think you're gonna die." 95) "Your profile said you're a vegan but my profile says 'Only contact if you eat ass' and you contacted me, so what's the truth here?" 96) "Call me adorable one more time and I'll knock your teeth down your fucking throat." 97) "Move, I have to go fail my Stats test before I can go home and cry into a bag of hot cheetos while I rewatch The Office." 98) "I'm sorry, did you just order a fifty piece mcnugget for here, for yourself?" 99) "So, how do you feel about lizards?" 100) "Question, are you a top or a bottom, because you're giving off major power bottom energy but I'm not one hundred percent sure."

[the-omni-princess]

Frozen Heart [Chapter 10]

Author: @the-omni-princess

Summary:  After the war against Hydra, King Bucky comes home to take what has been promised to him since he was young, you. But he is not the same person as the young boy that you grew up with. Can she break through his tough shell and bring back the young man she once fell in love with? Or will she be forced to marry the monster everyone thinks he’s become?

Word Count: 3.8K

Pairing: King!Bucky x Fem!Reader (Royalty Au!)

Warnings: A sex mention, Minor illnesses, Surprises!, Language, Violence, Blood

A/N:

Time for it to get funnnn

-

[Series Masterlist]  [Masterlist]

----

As October ended and November began, change frequently occurred in the palace. The furs in your as well as Bucky's chamber got thicker, the candles and firewood got thicker, the trees all looked barren, the only living looking plants were in your new greenhouse. Finished just in time for winter, you walked along the pathway, picking out a new spot for the peonies in your hand, Aurora walking beside you. Your own wolf was still too young to wander the castle with you, but her training was coming along wonderfully. Ever since you and Bucky became one, he had become a bit more protective, if that was even possible. Now, he was in a meeting without you, one of the few nowadays you didn't participate in.

You sat on the ground in the greenhouse, tugging your long sleeves up to plant the flowers. Aurora curled up beside you, the wolf pup had become just as possessive as Bucky, always curled up to one of you, and recently had joined you two curled up in bed at times.

"I thought I might find you here," a familiar voice rang out, you didn't glance back, already well knowing who it was. Aurora whined softly, jumping up to say hello to him.

"It's either here or the library, or one of our beds," you shot back, "not many options with the cold setting in."

Bucky came up behind you, wrapping his arms around you. You happily laid back into his chest, smiling as he spoke. "And here I thought you enjoyed meetings with me," he pressed a kiss to your hair, burying himself into you.

"I do, but I hate meetings involving the diplomats from Hydra's Kingdom. Even defeated they are slimy, uncaring about their starving people." You closed your eyes, leaning your head against his shoulder. "And I can never forgive those monsters for hurting you," you murmured softly.

"I don't enjoy those meetings either, My Love, but sadly they are necessary. Gladly, they are leaving early as the snows are rolling in. We believe a snow storm is coming tonight." Aurora curled up beside the two of you, and you ran a hand through her fur. "Your first snow," he added, excitement in his voice.

"My first snow," you closed your eyes in content. "Gods, I'm going to be freezing!"

He chuckled behind you, tightening his hold on you. "I'll keep you warm," he spoke against your neck, goosebumps raising as his breath fanned across your skin, much to his amusement.

"You did promise to keep me warm when I first moved here, I do suppose you've done a good job so far," you teased with a playful grin.

"I'd promise the world for you if you wanted it, My Queen," he kissed your ear, all his kisses chaste and playful. "Speaking of, My Queen, your coronation has to follow Northern traditions, but is there any part of Southern Coronation Traditions you wish to have?" You shrugged faintly against him.

You and your Ladies in Waiting were in charge of planning the wedding, a perfect union between North and South, both rituals relatively similar. Both used handfasting, but the elements in each differed slightly. Silver in the North, Gold in the South. Diamond rings in the North, Pearl rings in the South. These differences also followed in coronations, only they shifted to crowns and robes.

"I don't mind a fully Northern Coronation, My Love. I'll be Queen of the North, not Queen of the South. It may be where I'm from, and it'll always be a part of me, but it isn't where I'll be for the rest of my life." You reminded lightly. You turned slightly, burying your face in his neck. "The wedding, however, is completely half and half," you smiled against his skin, pleased with yourself as he shuddered. "Nat's idea of course. Two becoming one. Two people, two kingdoms, one soul." you pulled away enough to see the smile on his face, his eyes crinkled, sending warmth through your body.

"That sounds wonderful," he gave you a cheeky grin before adding, "My Queen."

You giggled, smiling up at him. "Soon I will be," you kissed his nose, watching his face scrunch up.

"A month and a half, that's all I have to wait for, and you'll be mine forever!" He sounded giddy, tugging you close as you two laughed.

"We've waited since we were children, a month shall go by fast, the past few have." You ran a hand through his hair, watching as he melted against your touch.

"They go by faster with you here. Our whole lives, then forever." He murmured, eyes closing as he relaxed.

"Forever is an awfully long time, Bucket. You sure you're up for the commitment?"

He gave you a goofy smile in response. "Forever is never enough when I'm with you."

You scoffed, "Stop being all romantic, it's making me feel things!" You gently nudged him, unable to hide the smile on your face.

"Good!" He beamed, showering you in kisses as he tightened his grip on you.

-

As the day passed, the two of you walked towards Bucky's Chambers hand in hand, Aurora at your heels. You sneaked a glance behind you, noticing neither of the personal guards were men you knew, and you knew almost all of them. Something felt wrong, a light in the castle seemed to dim. Bucky noticed your turned mood, and your subtle glances taking in the new guards as the wind started to howl outside. Deciding to speak about it later, in private, he didn’t ask.

The two of you sat outside on your star gazing balcony. The storm was starting, snow slowly falling to the ground. You were tightly wrapped in furs and blankets, toasty warm as your nose started to get cold. You ignored it, grinning as you caught the ice on your tongue excitedly.

"It's so pretty!" You grinned at Bucky, pointing at the snow on the mountains which was growing.

He smiled warmly at you, letting you enjoy the cold and different season. He eventually tugged you inside before you could freeze over, "alright, Princess. No more cold for you, you'll get frostbite." He fused over you, pulling more furs and warm clothes on you until you were covered in layers, sitting on his bed.

"Something is going on," you said suddenly pulling blankets off of you, surprising Bucky as he got into bed beside you, Aurora jumping into the bed, laying her head on his stomach.

"What do you mean, My Love?" He gave you a confused look, his eyebrows scrunched up adorably.

"New guards here, and Steve said he also has new guards he's never seen before, and the Hydra diplomats suddenly are very friendly, and the scouts on the edge of the kingdom spotting movement. They are planning something." You concluded.

He sighed softly with a nod, "I've noticed most of that as well. Until they make a move we can't do anything. Their officials may be terrible people, but a war would affect their people, a people starved and already war raged, they’re still recovering."

You leaned your head against his shoulder. "Has anyone told you how amazing you are?" You asked softly.

Despite these people being the ones that hurt him, he didn't want to rage war on its people. "Maybe someone has," he teased, smiling against your hair, taking in the smell of your lavender shampoo.

"Hope it's not any other girl," you joked back, nuzzling into him.

He chuckled, "Even if it was, you're the only one for me," he spoke seriously, tugging you closer.

You let your eyes close, happy to bask in his warmth as well as his and Aurora's attention.

-

The next morning you awoke with an upset stomach. Knots twisting and stabbing into your guts like a knife stabbing into you. You rolled out of the bed, pulling yourself out of warm arms, rushing towards the bathroom. "Doll?" A sleepy Bucky managed to say as you ran off. Two confused yips sounded behind you as you retched in the toilet. Aurora happened to stride over first, whining as she walked over, lying beside you and burying her muzzle supportively in your side. Bucky showed up a split second later, kneeling beside you as he held your hair out of your face, rubbing your back.

Once your stomach managed to empty itself, you sat back on your heels, leaning against Bucky. "Gods, I must have a stomach bug or something," you mumbled, lazily burying yourself in his arms. "I feel gross though, but tired."

"It's still early, we can go to the healers in a little while. You're still sleepy, aren't you?" He kissed your head as you nodded, standing and picking you up in his arms. You hummed in acknowledgement, letting your eyes close as he tucked you back into the warm bed. He pulled a blanket over you, Aurora jumping into bed after you, Bucky holding you close as you fell asleep again in his arms.

-

An hour later you woke to Bucky nudging you gently. "My Love, wake up, we should go to the doctors," he was concerned, you weren't one to get sick easy and you looked pale and flush. You groaned, eventually awake enough to get dressed and following Bucky to the royal clinic.

You sat there, Bucky fussing over you as Dr. Bruce Banner and Dr. Helen Cho circled you. Wanda eventually joined the party, much to Natasha's amusement. All three fused over you. Bruce and Helen had both known you since your arrival months ago and had taken a liking to you, the prior being a former soldier, and Wanda had known you most of your life. Soon all three, plus Bucky fussing, plus Sam and Natasha at the door, it all overwhelmed you.

"Please, can all of you calm down for just a minute!" You snapped, all eyes turning towards you as they froze in place. "It’s probably just stress, as I've taken more responsibilities and planning the wedding and worrying about the coronation and the changing seasons, I'm sure I'm fine!" You sighed softly, burying your face in your hands. "Please, I feel smothered by you all." You mumbled. Bucky frowned, chancing placing his hand on your shoulder. You melted against his touch, sudden hot tears ran down your cheeks. "Why can't I control any of these emotions?" You whispered absentmindedly.

Unbeknownst to you, Natasha and Wanda shared a look. They both knew everything about you and Bucky's relationship, including that you two had sex about three weeks ago. Natasha shooed the gathering maids from the door, shutting it and sitting beside you, taking your hand. Wanda whispered something to Dr. Cho, who quickly ran some tests on the blood and urine they collected from you.

You sniffled, looking up towards Nat as her weight dipped the bed you were in. "Wanda and I think we know what's wrong," Nat said slowly a few minutes later, looking towards Helen who had walked in with a new paper. Helen nodded, Bruce going pale as he read the results paper. You sat up a bit, hands laced with Bucky's who looked just as confused.

"The mood swings, the morning sickness, the fact that you haven't had your period yet," that made you go pale. You completely forgot you were two weeks late, too caught up in Royal duties. All the symptoms, the sudden giddiness Natasha and Wanda had.

"Am I...?" You whispered, the true nature of it setting in.

Helen spoke up, "According to Urine and blood tests, yes. We'll let you two have a moment," Nat nodded quickly, dragging Bruce and Sam out the door, Helen and Wanda following as they closed the door.

You and Bucky sat in silence for a moment, letting the fact settle in both of your minds. "You're pregnant," he managed to say in a soft voice, though you didn't hear any malice like you might have feared, only awe and a hint of confusion.

"I'm pregnant." You repeated. Deciding to look up at him, you could see the goofy smile starting to lift his features. "I'm going to be a mother... You're going to be a father..." The shock was still there, but both of you started smiling at each other.

"I'm going to be a father," he repeated. He launched forward, showering your face in kisses, sending you into a fit of giggles. "You're going to carry out child, our baby, you're going to be a mother, I'm going to be a father, oh gods can I handle being a father?" He rambled, getting serious.

You gently cupped his face in your hands, kissing him tenderly, stopping his rambles. You pressed your forehead against his, grinning as your lips ghosted across each other. "You'll be a wonderful father. Caring, protective, strong, loving. We'll learn how to be parents together," you kissed him again and again, holding each other close, deciding that the future mattered, but for right now you two would stay in the moment, together.

-

As the week went on, you and Bucky kept the big news to a small few. Clearly Sam, Natasha, Wanda, and a few people in the clinic knew. The maids figured it out when you didn't get your period, already having started their own rumors. The first person you and Bucky told together was Steve, via video chat. He looked ready to slap Bucky for getting you pregnant, cry that he was going to be an Uncle, and proud that his best friend and little sister were living their happily ever after. Your parents knew as well, and your mother was already flooding you with advice that wouldn’t come in handy for months. Other than that, the rest of the whispers and rumors in court were hushed and behind your backs.

You continued to work, though as the week ended, Bucky had started to sleep over in your Chambers. Something in his chamber smelled off, setting your new maternity sense to ring alarms. You couldn't sleep in his bed, a fact you absolutely hated.

Saying goodnight to yet another new guard you didn't recognize, you closed the chamber doors, Aurora jumping into your bed and curling up. You sat beside her after changing into pajamas, ready to bury yourself into the thick furs Bucky added to your bed while another snow storm roared outside. Aurora whined softly beside you, ears perked up and looking around the room in distress.

"What is it Aura?" You whispered, standing and now on defense. Bucky had a late meeting that night and wouldn't join you for at least an hour or two. You had nothing to defend yourself, glancing around the room you noticed nothing sharp you could use to help you with whatever set off Aurora. That was odd, you had a knife letter opener that was absent from your desk. Something that also suddenly occurred to you was that neither Sam, Natasha, Wanda, or Scott was on duty tonight. That never happened in the months since you've moved to the North. A fact that occurred to you too late. You were defenseless, alone, and surrounded by potential enemies.

Aurora growled beside you, haunches raised and glancing in multiple directions. Fuck, multiple hostiles. The wolf pup stood in front of you protectively, as you thought back to something Natasha used to teach you. Pretend you're smaller and more defenseless than you really are.

As two men appeared from opposite shadows in your room, you appeared to look meek, small. They came closer, still just out of reach of you, or Aurora without leaving the protective circle you and the wolf made. "Look at that, the little princess is all alone." One man cooed. His accent sent a shiver down your spine, you recognized him as a Hydra diplomat from the court.

That's when you got a good look at the other man, and you felt your heart drop. General Brock Rumlow, one of the very men Bucky fought against was standing in your bedroom. "Hello Princess, terribly sorry for the late notice, but you're coming with us. I know all about your fight against the assassin we sent to kill your brother, so don't try anything."

You dropped the meek act and snarled at the man, matching growls with the wolf in front of you. "Now why would I just go with you?"

He laughed, a sick feeling filling you. "Because right now, your little fiancé is next to one of my men. One mistake and my men will slit his throat," you felt your face pale. They could threaten you, but they were threatening Bucky. You felt the strong face you had on crack.

"Don't you dare fucking touch him," you growled, Aurora responding with a bark towards the man. You hoped it was loud enough to alert someone to help you, yet the man in front of you laughed.

"That won't help doggie, all the men outside are mine. You know how easy it was to become your personal guard? Manipulate time schedules, find lab results." Your hands were shaking now, and you felt the bile rise in your throat. "So, Princess, follow me, and call the dog off." You glanced down at Aurora, who was tense, but you then remembered she knew all the secret passageways of the castle and was trained to find yours and Bucky's scent. You whistled lowly, Aurora whining. You repeated it, and Aurora slinked away, rushing towards Bucky. That would set him off, Aurora was known to always curl up into you when you slept and would only part ways when Bucky called her. He should be able to notice something's wrong. You hoped and prayed to every god you knew that he did.

You followed Rumlow, the vile man getting too close for comfort as you walked in the halls. He had a sense of arrogance about him, and most hallways were empty, no one able to see you as Brock pushed a dagger into back to dig at your spine, leading you towards the back entrance.

He pushed open the door, the cold rushed in, making you cold to the bone before you even stepped out. He grabbed you by the arm, his grip burned into your skin. He ran his fingers down your throat, and you growled lowly, close to punching the man. The thought of Bucky getting hurt because of the action made you still. No matter how much he hurt you, you wouldn't let him hurt Bucky. His fingers grazed the golden chain of your necklace, and hooked underneath them, "Now this is cute. You practically have a dog collar on, like the bitch you are," he singsonged into your ear. He ripped the necklace off, and you gasped as the clasp snapped against your skin, breaking. He tossed it to the ground, before shoving you forward into the snow. "Let's go, Princess. It's a decent walk till we get back to your new home." You shivered, now on your hands and knees in the snow, your pajamas not helping you at all. You stood on shaky legs, holding your head up high as you bit your tongue, refusing to give this abhorrent man anything to use against you.

You heard barking in the distance, Aurora finding you, and Bucky right behind. He had blood dripping down his cheek, but on second look, it didn't seem to be his own. Sam and Natasha were beside him, Sam had bruises blooming all over his face, and what looked like a broken nose. Brock pulled you in front of him, the dagger held against your throat. You stilled, weighing your options. Bucky looked feral, the same icy look from months ago when he first walked into your life again was back. The warmth seeped out of him, you were in danger, as was the baby, hisbaby.

"Let her go, Rumlow," he snarled, Aurora at his feet, ready to pounce.

"No can do, she's ours now, Your Majesty," he spit back out. He pressed the dagger closer into your neck, making a small trickle of blood appear. You whined softly, Bucky's eyes shooting to you, pained. As Brock pulled you back onto the terrace, you could see more Hydra gaurds hiding behind the doors. It was a trap all along to take more than one royal. Not on your watch they wouldn't.

Your eyes locked into Bucky, knowing he could see you. You mouthed, 'I love you,' before pushing your elbow back. You knocked Brock back, he grunted, not expecting you to fight back. You shot forward, grabbing onto the doors and locking them, knowing the mechanism would need a reboot to open during the emergency alert Bucky had placed on the castle. This was both your saving grace, and your living nightmare. You were trapped, burying yourself in snow, surrounded by Hydra agents, a steel and glass door between you and your family. But that also meant it was that door between Hydra and Bucky, something you could live with. A realization hit you suddenly. You would, without a doubt, die to protect this man. No matter the cost.

To say Rumlow was pissed off at you was an understatement. You saw his reflection in the glass, noticing the mirrored moves between him and Bucky. They both rushed forward towards you, Bucky having a glass barrier between you. Rumlow grabbed onto you, hitting you in the side of the head with the blunt edge of the knife. "You'll regret that, Princess." He snarled into your ear. The last thing you saw as black dots blurred your vision was Bucky falling to his knees on the other side of the glass, as they took you away from him. His own personal Nightmare.

-

Frozen Heart Tags:

@jsmith509 / @lumar014 / @littlemissporter / @kaylaphantomhive  

@damnbuckyishot / @aveatquevale- / @booksbeforebois  

@marvelgirl7 / @minetticatinwonderland  

Bucky Tags:

@cassandras-musings  / @darkness-doughter / @novaddictx / @thedancingnerdmermaid

For a tag, just reply/comment, if I don’t see it, just message me. Tell me what you think! Literally any comment makes me happy! Like, comment, reblog, interact <3

[l1ana]

Imagine being able to hold Thors' hammer

Summary: Yeet, idfk I'm in a car thinking this up so yEAH—

———

You were the main one to usually tidy up after the messes that the rest of the avengers made in the tower; that included repairing destroyed parts of it. After all, it was the least you could do to repay Tony for letting you in as one of the family. Unfortunately, being let into the family also meant being the main target for idiot or cruel pranks cast upon you by the rest of the team. It was hard to get used to at first, but you eventually made way to accept that everyone were just as goofy and carefree on the inside as they were on the outside— They never meant you any harm.

Today was no different. Long story short: some idiot tried to attack the tower, lots of collateral damage to the tower, you going to clean up the tower. “[Name], you know I have money for a reason, right?” Tony asked, walking underneath the ladder you stood on with a coffee mug in hand. “Yeah but fixing things is my specialty. Consider it a second hobby besides helping you guys kick the shit out of bad guys.” “Language.” Steve groaned, relaxing into the couch. A smirk graced your face. “Figured you'd say that.” Tony took a seat at the dining room table.

“That guy was... Tough.” Clint exhaled an aggravated sigh. “Yeah, tell me about it.” Natasha added. “Are you all okay? I can fix you some cup of tea if you'd like.” You said, waving your hand upwards to have a multitude of tools make their way to the walls and initiated the cleanup. “No, no, [Name]. It's quite alright.” Bucky dismissed, still wondering how you could be in such a happy-go-lucky mood after what the hell just happened.

You reached your left hand downwards, expecting one of your tools to fly into hand. “Uhhh, I can't seem to find my hammer. Can someone get an extra from the closet?” At those words, an idea popped into a certain gods mind. Now he sure enough wasn't the mischievous type compared to his brother Loki, but Thor did enjoy teasing you as much as everyone else did. Clint stared at him with that knowing look in his eyes, fully aware of what the deity had in mind. It was quite obvious to everyone what Thor was thinking, and most of them groaned in dismay or laughed in agreement.

“You honestly can't find any other way to act smooth, can you?” Tony remarked with a sip of his drink. Unlike the others, the capabilities of Thors legendary hammer Mjolnir hadn't been leaked to you at all. And since you hadn't the slightest clue to whatever Thor was brainstorming, this only worked to his favor. “Of course he can't. The only way he knows how to is by telling his long tales of being a god and whatever.” Sam stated with a wave of his hand. To elaborate on what they were saying— Thor may have developed a small l̶a̶r̶g̶e̶ liking towards you. Just a little bit. But honestly, he wasn't the only one.

“You guys just can't leave the poor girl alone for one minute, can you?” Wanda laid back into the recliner while making said comment. “Hey, I'm not the one thinking it up.” Bruce waved his hands around in defense. “Nor am I.” Clint added before doubling with a, “But just in case, 30 bucks saying she'll hold it.” Que the loud and obviously ticked off groans from Steve. “That's a really low move,” He grumbled, throwing his left arm atop of his face. “..... 50 saying she will.”

Bucky threw a pillow at his companions stomach, scolding him for indulging in this idiot plan to make you swoon for Thor. “10 on her not holding it.” Until giving in himself for why not sakes.

Before they knew it, the team was all making quiet bets deciding whether or not your palm could properly wrap around the handle of the legendary hammer without falling. The good news if you couldn't hold it was that Thor could catch you —due to the weight of the hammer knocking you off balance and sending you quickly gravitating towards the floor— in one arm and his hammer in another, looking dashing and being seen in your eyes as ‘hero’. And even if you could hold it, to which he HIGHLY doubted, he'd be getting paid. It was a win-win on either side.

Snickers and moans, followed by a few discouraging comments courtesy of Sam, flew around as Thor aproached the ladder you stood at with Mjolnir behind his back. “[Name], I have the hammer you seek-” Once he turned his eyes up, he immediately dragged them back down to the floor with a crimson stroking his usual pale skin, not wanting to come off as ungentlemanly for staring at your rump. A cough came from his mouth as you opened a free hand and held it out, expecting the hammer to be set into your palm. “Thank you Thor.” Oh goodness your voice was like catnip to a catnip-starved street feline. He absolutely adored it with his entire heart and soul. Almost made him feel bad for what he was about to do. “E-ehem! You're deeply welcome, my dear [Name].” He said, pulling his weapon from behind him and holding it by the base, setting the handle within your palm. His head clocked back towards the team, who either gave a look of affirmation or one of disagreement to his action.

Thor sighed, his fingers releasing grip of the iron block and opening his arms out, ready to catch you.

Nothing happened.

It went dead silent in the tower, the only sound being you hammering the nail into the wall to finish hanging the picture. The amount of jaws that dropped was immesurable. Thor turned his head round to witness the shocked expressions written over his team mates faces. Oh yeah, they looked like all hell had been loose. Deciding to dart his gaze upwards to where they all directed their sights, he joined the rest of the avengers in this awestricken state.

There you were, twirling the hammer in your hand innocently as you wiped the sweat glands forming on your forehead. “There we go. Good as new.” You remarked with a chirp, pushing the picture frame to be straight and neat. You slid down the ladder as the tools fell back into your small toolbox, the top closing itself instinctively with a satisfying snap. “This is quite the odd modeling for a hammer. But nevertheless, thank you for the help. If I had moved, it might've been raining wrenches and iron bits, heh.” A gloved hand, your hand exactly, scratched the nape of your neck as you giggled nervously. Due to your close-eyed grin, you were unable to catch glimpse of Thors' undescribable expression that painted his face.

“I’ll get going to the outside now. Y-you all have fun!” With that you dashed through the living room on your way to the balcony, opening your eyes and taking notice of everyone's faces. “What's wrong? I can always lend an ear if need be.” You chuckled, leaving them all in wake of those words.

“She held it.” Clint was the first to speak up amongst the group, putting a wall between the quietness. “She actually held it.” His mouth was wide enough to stuff and entire pie in as he said that. “She actually held it.” Sam took a long hard stare at his drink, eyes furrowing. What the hell was in it? He wasn't drunk right now, right? Oh well, whatever was in it -or left in it- was gone, down his throat. Natasha just smirked in a know-it-all fashion, retorting “That's what you all get for underestimating the power of [Name],” “Aka the power of unrelenting kindness.” Wanda and Nat did a little fist bump. “Name's worthy... Totally didn't see that coming.” Steve said sarcastically with a smug look. He already foresaw the hammer within your threshold long ago after witnessing what a charismatic young lady you were, always willing to help whenever.

“See, this is the part where I wake up because I know I did not just let a 200 go to waste.” Tony said, pinching his cheeks. Everybody was stuck in conversation, dishing out surprised comments or bragging about the money they got simply from the bet. However, Thor wasn't making any comments at all. No gasps, no inhales, nothing. Just nothing. It was blatantly obvious that he was the most stunned of all. Bruce smirked. “What's the matter Thor? Someone finally picked up the claimed ‘unholdable’ hammer and now you're quiet?”

“To be honest, [Name] is probably the worthiest of us all.” Peter said. “I mean, she has a heart of gold. Literal gold.” He fawned over how much of a sweetheart you absolutely were. Pietro nodded in agreement. “She's a gracious girl with nothing but purity within her.”

It goes without saying that this whole idea of ‘worthy’ didn't define as much to everyone as it did to Thor. So many roads were being laid out before his very eyes revolving around you. This had so many different meanings, so many different futures. You could take place as a ruler of Asgard. You could possibly transend and become a goddess. The head attached to the mop of blonde hair was sent into a ditzy. He was in this state of rethinking literally everything that's eved occured in his life. His emotions were a mix of shock, rage, joy, and so much more— all of them swirling n him and creating a feeling he didn't even know existed. There was no way to even give it proper words. “Hey, Thor.” Rhodney snapped his fingers, eliciting the other to awaken from his daydream. “Oh, yes?”

“So, whatcha gonna do now?”

“What do you mean?”

“[Name] held your hammer. This obviously means something besides the fact that she's boiling with love to spread.” Bucky said. “Isn't there something more to it...?”

“I have to marry her.” Thor said without hesitation. “What?” Everyone in the room perked their heads up. “Asgard must be ruled over with those the hammer deems worthy, and [Name] is without a doubt worthy.” Oh how Steve was happy that he didn't pull the hammer off the table that time when they were all drinking. “Awww, so you finally get a shot to kiss wittle old [Name]y-waymey.” Tony mocked, making fake smooching noises. “He wasn't ever going to make a move on his own, I think it's good that the hammer got involved.” Pietro commented.

“Jeez it's blazing hot out there.” Speak of the devil, there you were, emerging from the outside with sweat running down your body, your clothes almost soaked in the substance. “I could use a drink right about now.” Waltzing your way to the fridge, you bent down and picked out a small glass of water, chugging it down in one gulp and releasing an ‘ahhh’ of satisfaction.

Thor felt something hit his head; A pillow. Glaring at the one who threw it, the god sighed at Clints childish act yet got the message. He inhaled, mustering all the courage he could and walking up to you. “Uhm, lady [Name], I could really-” “Hey Thor. Here's your hammer back.” You turned and greeted, opening his palm to place the hammer in it. “W-wait, you knew this was mines...?” He asked questioningly. “Yup. You always walk around with it after all,” A light laugh emitted as he took the time to process this. “It's pretty light for a hammer that only gods can pick up. Does that make me a goddess?” Everyone overhearing this in the living room snickered. No doubt about it, Thor was going to go crazy.

“Wellll, I guess since it's your hammer, that technically makes me your goddess!”

thor.exe has crashed

[some-cookie-crumbz]

HI Crumbz, I was wondering if you have any married kidge hcs? (I say it every day but I just love the way you write about these two

NOEHNRAWOEN BLUW;E!!! Oh My Lanta do I ever!!! I’m gonna have to put this under a read more because it got Hella long!

These are all Married-Before-Children headcanons, so if youwant Kidge-as-Parents, a part two will need to be done! >:3c

First things first, they designed the house together.

·        Being universe-saving Paladins of Voltron kindaearns them some free stuff. Which includes getting to either select a home thatis currently available or taking a plot of land to build on. They decide to start from scratch and have their home built from the ground up specifically for them.

For Keith, it’s about making his own foundation – both physicallyand emotionally – for the future he wasn’t sure he’d get to have.

·        I mean, he’s married to the literal smartestbeing in the universe who loves him because he’s just him? And they get to betogether, out of danger and safe? Sign him right the fuck up, my friend!

For Pidge, it’s about having a place to call not only her own,but their own.

·        Most of their lives, they’ve been kinda livingin spaces – or literally space - that were lent to them, and that has alwaysbeen kinda jarring for Pidge.

·        Like, the Garrison dorms? Not really theirs.

·        Their rooms on the Castle of Lions? Kinda closerto being their own space/s, but it was still kinda under theYou-Are-Paladins-And-Need-A-Place-To-Rest kinda deal.

·        The house, though, will be all theirs. It willbe Pidge’s space, and Keith’s space, and just generally their space. No moreworrying about having someone else walk in on their private moments. No moreworrying about Hunk hijacking her tools to use. No more worrying about Lancestarting up a pissing match with Keith while he’s trying to train. No moreblaring emergency alarm. They can just exist together holy shit

In the time between, they live with Pidge’s parents.

·        Colleen and Samuel are respectful of theirboundaries but they encounter some of the same issues involving privacy as withthe Castle of Lions.

·        Also, the sex life? Yeah, that ain’t happenin’when the in-laws are just one door over and can hear when the motion of theocean starts a rockin’.

·        Other than that, Keith likes getting to knowmore about Colleen and Sam, as well as watching Pidge squirm when they share embarrassingstories. He likes having an extended family as fun as the Holts, ngl.

The house design is pretty simple, with a generous amount ofrooms and space.

·        It’s technically two stories but also has abasement because these two are hyper-cautious about having plenty of space.

·        They have two garages; one for regular cars andone for the Lions. Yes, I said Lions. Keith is piloting something before the end of Season 6 and anyone who disagrees can fight me -

·        They also get a fireplace because Keith has fondmemories of roasting marshmallows with his Dad and Pidge can’t deny her mansomething sentimental.

·        They have a generous living room with anadjacent work room with both their computers, desks and filing cabinets in it.The dining room table is also in the work room because they’re both workaholicsand figure it makes the most sense to put it there.

·        They have a quaint little kitchen with all newappliances – and they are all stainless steel at Pidge’s insistence – and acute little breakfast nook to go with.

·        They have one master bedroom, five bedrooms, andthree bathrooms. They select this much space specifically for familyget-togethers/ visits from the other Paladins.

Keith does all the interior decorating. Pidge doesn’t reallycare much for that stuff and she actually really likes the colors and patterns and such Keith ends updeciding to go with. She even likes the goofy, old-style Saturday Morning Pressportraits he hangs in the living room, as tacky and outdated as they are.

The regular garage becomes Pidge’s hands-on workplace andKeith is totally cool with that.

·        Keith and Pidge agree that she isn’t supposed todo particularly high-risk experiments when she’s home alone.

·        One time, he left for a diplomatic mission withthe Coalition for two days. When he returned, the entire inside of the garagewas torched and required -near-complete rebuilding. Like, even the tools were meltedinto nothing!

·        “Pidge, how did you even…?”

·        “I think it’s better you don’t know.”

·        “… Yeah, you know what? Forget I asked.”

The two of them are just naturally good at co-existing and docute shit without even realizing it.

·        Pidge could be working on something in thegarage and Keith will just slip in and get comfy with a book on the littlecouch she keeps in there for him.

·        Keith can be working on something at his deskand Pidge will come out and settle the back of her desk chair against the backof his and pull out a journal or handheld game with the volume off.

·        They can be on the couch sitting next to eachother watching television and within twenty minutes they end up snuggled upunder the little throw blanket they keep draped along the back of the couchwithout a word or acknowledgement.

·        Sometimes they’ll settle in and just listen tomusic and do basic, pleasure-tasks in the same room and just enjoy thecomfortable ambiance between them.

·        Additionally, they don’t mind doing things inrooms separate, either. Sometimes Pidge will be working in the garage and Keithwill be working out in the basement and there’s no tension or stress aboutbeing apart.

They are pretty even about splitting the chores andhousework.

·        They take turns making meals. Keith mostly makesbreakfast, though, and Pidge mostly makes dinner, just because of their wake-uphabits.

·        They take turns with the dishes in that whoevercooks the meal doesn’t have to do the dishes afterwards. Whoever starts thedishwasher doesn’t have to unload it, though, just to make it fair in that regard too.

·        Keith takes care of most of the yard work. Pidgedid her stint with the Nature Thing, she doesn’t need more. Plus, Keithfinds nature peaceful, so he actually enjoys the task and takespride in how their yard is kept. He maybe starts a little garden after theirfirst child is born and old enough to toddle around but that’s neither here northere just saying

·        Pidge takes care of any/all repairs to thingsaround the house in regards to technology/appliances/stuff of that ilk.

·        Pidge cleans the bathroom as well as mops thefloor in the kitchen. Keith vacuums their room and the front two rooms.

·        They do the laundry together. One of them startsit, the other switches, and they work together to fold and put it all away.

Okay, now to get to some of the more Romance-Centric CoupleStuffs.

·        Keith is an absolute morning person, so henormally gets up early and goes for a jog. Pidge wakes up briefly to whineabout him leaving because she was enjoying the company and warmth, thank youvery much, but he just kinda laughs her off. He’ll typically come back, take ashower, make coffee and start breakfast, and bring Pidge her cup to coerceher out of the comforter cocoon she has made for herself.

            Pidge likes to occasionally slip into the gymwhen Keith’s working out and pretend like their strangers and just openly flirtwith him. He low-key adores it and plays along.

“Hey there, beautiful. Come here often~?”

“Can I help you, Miss?”

“You can help me by giving me those digits, hotstuff~!” *winks with left eye*

“Excuse me, I am a happily married man.”

“What your wife don’t know won’t hurt her~!”*winks with right eye*

·        Date nights for them are typically low-key funstuffs. They make practical use of the fireplace to make popcorn or roasted marshmallowsfor s’mores while they watch movies or play video games or other things like that.

·        Some nights they’ll make more complicated mealstogether and sit at the dinner table and pretend they’re at some ritzy restaurantbecause they’re just two stupid dorks in love. They’ll sometimes move to theliving room and use the fireplace for chocolate fondue – the pot was a weddinggift from Hunk – and have wine.

·        The fireplace might also be phenomenal moodlighting for nights where they’re feeling a little frisky~! ;3c

·        They’re both cuddly af. Keith tends to go to bedbefore Pidge, so normally he’ll wake up with her arms and legs splayed over hisback and legs respectively, face pressed into the spot between his shoulders. Shegets super mumbley and whiny when he moves to get up. On the rare occasionswhere Pidge goes to bed first, she wakes up with Keith pulling her so herback is against his chest, his arms looped around her waist and his facenuzzled into the top of her hair.

           Keith and Pidge came to a mutual agreement that Sunday mornings are for sleeping in, no ifs ands or buts about it, and it’s actually both of theirs favorite day of the week. It’s Keith’s favorite cause there’s something nice about sleepy pillow talk with the Missus about all the nothing they’ll be doing that day, while it’s Pidge’s favorite because sleepy Keith is an adorable sight she doesn’t get nearly often enough.

·        They’re both just… so affectionate in privatebecause they feel so damn comfortable being themselves with each other!

I think that’s everything for now that I had in my mind!WHIOSDFJIBSSDAS HOPEFULLY IT WAS ALL GOOD!!!

[impalaimagining]

I’m Still Here

Below the cut is some stuff about my life. It’s partially my story, partially the reason things have been so not-positive on my blog lately, for which I apologize. It gets pretty graphic so avoid this post if self harm, depression, cutting, PTSD, or suicide are triggers for you. Also this might not even fucking make sense because it’s 3 in the morning and I have no idea what I even wrote at this point. Good luck if you actually read this. It’s blabber.

Some of this, I’ve shared before, and some of it is new to you. This is why I am the person I am. This is why I’m still here.

November 2008. I was 13 years old. Outwardly, I was the girl who laughed at everything, the girl who people liked being around because I made them feel better about themselves. But I wasn’t happy. I had “no reason” to be unhappy, but even on good days, it was like a grey cloud poured down on me. I’d stay up too late and be too tired to function at school. One night, when I swore I would go to bed early, my brain had other ideas. Bad ideas. I walked downstairs from my attic bedroom and tiptoed past my parents room to the bathroom. I sat on the edge of the tub and told myself, “I’ll be okay. I can play it off as a cut from shaving.” And I did it. November 2008, I started hurting myself because I was convinced that physical pain was easier to handle than the gloomy, unemotional state I couldn’t describe to anyone. If I had scars, then maybe they’d realize my pain wasn’t just in my head.

December 2009. I started dating Andrew, a kid I had a crush on for years beforehand. He knew nothing of my past, nothing of my harmful ways or my self-destructive nature. He knew me as a bubbly, giggly girl. I was 14, and definitely not prepared for that relationship to go past a little high school fling. He lived over an hour away, and he had just gotten his driver’s license. I didn’t tell my parents we were dating, because I knew they’d try to convince me to get out of the relationship. My dad hated him. My mom was indifferent, but I was still their only daughter, so they both had that protectiveness about them when it came to anything regarding me. I ended up in love. Head over friggin heels in love with a guy with whom I had quite a history - and not a good one. We pushed past the shit that had kept us apart, and we made it work. I had love, I had someone who actually cared about me, but I still needed to feel the physical pain of self harm.

November 2010. I fought like hell for a friendship I’d lost two years earlier. I had my best friend back, and I was learning how to trust him again. I told him about my scars, told him what I’d been feeling, and he was the only one who knew. He never asked to see them, and he told me if he could, he’d take them away, undo everything he ever did to add to the way my heart was breaking. November 10, I cut myself for the last time. November 11 was the first day in almost two years exactly that I didn’t hold a razor to my thighs, the first day in almost two years that I didn’t bleed by my own hand, the first day my wounds weren’t self-inflicted, the first day I found myself looking for someone to run to. For the first time in a long time, I felt okay. 

I managed to keep my depression under control. I grew closer with a couple of friends, and my boyfriend was there every day, despite the fact that we lived in different states. I had people, I had a support system, whether or not they knew that’s what they were. 

August 13, 2015, just shy of two years ago. I include the day with this on, because it’s a date permanently etched into my mind as the worst day of my life. I’m living with the same guy from ‘09. We’re all but married at this point, just missing the legal documents. Things are good, except Pat, my best friend, the kid I grew up with, the one I looked up to as my older brother, just moved away. I’m sitting in a restaurant in Center City, Philadelphia, eating lunch between my college classes. I had just answered a text message from a friend, asking me if I could nanny for them that afternoon. I said sure, I could skip my class, so I emailed my professor and told him I couldn’t make it. Then my mom calls. I answer, and her voice sounded shaky, but not too far from normal. She asks if I’d been on facebook at all that morning, and I say no, I’ve been in class for the past four hours. She starts crying and trying to tell me something, but I can’t understand it. I finally make out what she;s saying. “Pat died.” My heart starts pounding in my chest, and I feel my stomach churning. I don’t remember what I did with my entire plate of food, but somehow I carried myself outside and walked half a block to my boyfriend’s office building. I hung up the phone with my mom and called my boyfriend. My voice is breaking and he can’t understand me, but he hears, “Can you come downstairs?” So he does. I tell him what happened, that Pat is dead. At this point, I have no specifics, just a post from his mom on facebook that says, “please remember him fondly.” I hop on a city bus and get to my apartment, in a blur. I missed my stop to get off, but luckily the next stop was only a block farther. I walk home, lay in bed, and don’t move until I pick up my phone and email every professor I have, telling them I won’t be in class for the rest of the week. I shut down. I didn’t talk to anyone about anything other than surface level bullshit. I couldn’t let anyone in because I couldn’t let them know how badly I was hurting, and fuck was I hurting.

August 21, 2015. I’m back at my parents’ house instead of my apartment. I booked an event about a month prior, so I’m baking 65 cupcakes in my mom’s kitchen. The next day was Pat’s funeral, so my mind is anywhere but these cupcakes. I finish them, I box them, and I deliver them. That’s it. I drive back to the house I grew up in, the house across the street from Pat’s, and I collapse. My body has had enough, and in reality, I probably had only slept for roughly eight broken hours over the course of the week. I pull out the letters Pat wrote me while he was deployed in Iraq with the United States Marine Corps. I read them. I laugh at his bad spelling and even worse handwriting. And then I cry because all I’ve got left of the man I adored for so long is sitting in my hands. I notice the way he signed the letters. “see/talk to you late” And then I decide. I take the letter to my tattoo artist and I have him put the words on my skin, Pat’s signature underneath them. We walked to Pat’s parents’ house that night to see if they needed help setting anything up for the service. It was taking place in their back yard under a tent. His mom caught a glimpse of my tattoo and made me show everyone. His dad wrapped me in the tightest hug and just kept me by his side for the rest of the night. I barely knew them, but I stayed. I stayed because their pain was my pain, infinite times over. I stayed because they needed every bit of love and support they could get. I stayed because we were all grieving. While I was there, I found out Pat had killed himself. It was the first I’d gotten details about his death, and fuck if it didn’t hurt worse hearing how it happened. Pat, my smiley, goofy, bear-hugging best friend had taken his own life. He struggled with depression, then he joined the Marines and went to Iraq in the middle of the worst of the war. He returned, and outwardly he was... fine. He was Pat, just with a harder exterior. He was the same lovable guy I’d known since I was seven. But apparently, he wasn’t. He fought depression, and after he returned from Iraq, PTSD played a huge part in his daily life. He lost his battle, and the world lost him.

August 22, 2015. I’ve never met Pat’s brother or sister. That changed at his funeral. It was strange meeting all the people I’d only ever heard stories about, and having them tell me they’d heard a lot about me too.

September 2015. Grieving sucks. It sucks even worse when the person you love and live with is grieving for a separate death. Andrew’s grandmother died three weeks after Pat. The atmosphere in our apartment was... unbearable. We were both just so down. I was grieving over the loss of Pat, and he was grieving the loss of his grandmother. Everyone grieves differently I heard. And yeah, that’s true, and that’s fine, but when the grieving feeling doesn’t go away... that’s when it turns into something I hadn’t dealt with in years. My depression was rearing its ugly head for the first time in close to five years. I needed an out. Then I remembered one of Pat’s friends asking me if I’d ever heard of Supernatural. Nope, I hadn’t. I looked on Netflix, and there were ten seasons. I binged. I binged hard. Supernatural was my escape from the fucked up reality that my life had become. If I was submerged in the world of Sam and Dean Winchester, I didn’t have to face what was going on around me. So, I drowned myself in Supernatural, and if I never came up for air, that was just fine with me.

I watched all ten seasons, but not in time to watch Season 11 while it aired on television. I missed my boys. Sam and Dean had become... my boys. I fell in love with fictional characters and their stories. After a few episodes, I looked more into the actors. Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles. Hell, there went the rest of my life. I read about Jared’s campaign and looked into his battle with mental health. Sam Winchester was a hero, yeah, but Jared Padalecki was a living example that I could fight through everything. I could conquer this shit. 

August 2016. I went swimming at my friend’s house. The same friend who knew about my cutting. He saw my scars for the first time that day. The next day, I went and got my Always Keep Fighting tattoo (in Jared’s handwriting). A week later, I ended up here. I made a blog for Supernatural-related things, and I started dabbling in writing. I posted something, I gained a few followers. It continued to grow as I wrote and posted more. I began sharing my writing with other people who were just like me.

September 2, 2016. Disney World in Orlando, Florida, in front of Cinderella’s castle. My boyfriend is on his knee proposing to me. I say yes. I call my extended family and closest friends, tell them it finally happened after almost 7 years of being together. I post it on facebook, instagram, twitter, everywhere. I’m engaged. I cried myself to sleep that night because I didn’t - I couldn’t - call Pat. I’m in the happiest fucking place on earth crying like a baby because I just miss my best friend. His mom comments on my facebook post, saying something along the lines of, “If Pat were here, he’d be overjoyed for you. I think he put Andrew through enough tests to make sure he was good enough. Congrats.” Congrats. Congrats on being an emotional disaster the second day of your family vacation. 

July 2017. I’m engaged. I’m planning my wedding. I’m marrying the kid I started dating when I was 14 years old. I’ve been writing and posting on tumblr for close to a year. I made some friends, and holy shit. I found my place. I found people who are like me. We like the same things. We can relate to one another because we’ve all been there. We support each another, and we lift each other up. The way this fandom comes together when people need one another never ceases to amaze me. And now? We have a book. We have conventions. We have the actors. We have each other. We have a family. I know the SPN Family existed before I found my way into it. But I also know that I have never felt more connected to a group of people I’ve literally never met.

Depression still looms heavily over my head, and that grey cloud has become darker and darker within the past few weeks. Thoughts of self harm have crept back into my mind, but I’ll be damned if I throw away seven years of fighting every single day to keep that blade from my skin. Depression doesn’t own me, and you know how I know that? Because I’m still here. 

This post is about me, yeah, but it’s also about you. I love every single person who takes the time to read this, who takes the time to check up on me when I post something that... isn’t too cheery, who messages me or sends me an ask to remind me that it’s going to be okay. This post is for my friends who have become family. This post is for those of you who think you can’t fight one more day. I promise you, you can. Take it a second at a time, then a minute, then an hour, and eventually you’ll have gotten through another whole day of living. You can do this. Always Keep Fighting, my loves <3 

A shoutout to those who have especially had my back since I joined this crazy place: @spontaneousam @plaid-lover-bay25 @torn-and-frayed @cyrilconnelly @wayward-girl @mrsdeanfuckingwinchester @ofloveandlonging @elliewinchesterr @the-thirteenthhour @atc74 @impala-dreamer (I’m sorry if I missed you and you feel like you belong on this list. It’s 3am and my brain is overwhelmed and my head hurts). Thank you all for being here. I love y’all <3