#i also see a bunch of thoughts on how hes JUST a bitter man that complains

[pinkrabit]

Any ship w jiang cheng that ends happily I will immediately enjoy bc I identify so.closely with him

My special guy

[harlowsbby]

Still Yours

“He said one day he’s going to make me his wife.” You gushed with a grin plastered across your face. Annie and Mariah looked at one another with knowing looks.

“I think he really is the one for me I haven’t felt like this in such a long time.” You expressed and sat down from across the two of them.

Annie sighed and looked at Mariah trying to see if she was going to be the one to speak first but groaned when Mariah shook her head no.

“Y/N, look we need to talk to you.” Annie stated and you turned to her giving her your undivided attention. “What’s up?” You smiled.

“Uh it’s about Jack you know well Mariah and I have been talking and-.” She sighed and looked at Mariah for help.

She shrugged her shoulders and didn’t say anything you looked at the two of them with your eyebrows furrowed together. Mariah wanted to chime in and to say something but she figured staying quiet might’ve been the best option.

“Just spit it out Annie you know I get anxious.” You laughed.

“We don’t think Jack is the one for you if anything we just feel like he’s just using you and dragging you along and when he no longer needs you he’s going to dump you.” Mariah spat out and Annie nodded her head.

“Basically what Mariah said.” You frowned and shook your head at the both of them. “Both of you are wrong so very wrong about him.” You were immediately in defensive mode.

“We don’t mean any harm from what we’re saying to you Y/N.” Annie tried reassuring you.

“All we’re saying is whenever we’re out and about Jack acts like he doesn’t know you.” Mariah said.

“But when we’re at the studio or around select friends he’s all over you and you don’t need someone that’s going to love you behind closed doors.” Annie finished.

“He wants to keep us a secret.” Mariah scoffed. “A secret? Isn’t he a little to grown to be keeping you a secret and besides who gives a fuck what anybody has to say.”

“And now he’s promising you that he’d marry you one day? Or how he’s going to do this and this I feel like he’s giving you nothing but a bunch of empty promises.” Annie said.

“Yeah remember when he said he was going to introduce you to his parents last week? But then suddenly they had to leave Louisville, it’s bullshit he’s bullshit.” Mariah also added on to what Annie was saying.

You couldn’t believe what the two of them were saying to you right now. Jack was your man and he loved you and he meant it when he said it, at least you thought he did.

You thought Annie and Mariah were going to be happy for you because you finally found someone but instead they were acting like two bitter friends that couldn’t be happy for their friend.

“I can’t believe you two.” You said and stood up and grabbed your purse and flung it around your shoulder.

“Y/N, come on don’t act like this we’re just looking out for you.” Annie said. “Yeah we wouldn’t be good friends if we didn’t we’re just trying to warn you.” Mariah said.

“And look out for you.” Annie frowned.

“Warn me about what?” You spat. “I’m finally in love and here you two come along telling me all of this bullshit that I didn’t need to hear.” You stated.

“We’re just warning you from a future heartbreak but if you don’t want to listen that’s on you.” Mariah stated. Annie frowned and went to reach out for you but you pulled your hand back.

“I can’t with you two right now I’ll catch you guys around.” You mumbled and grabbed your keys from the coffee table and made your way outside.

“I can’t believe them.” You spoke to yourself. “Jack loves me I know he does.” You said and took out your phone and called Jack.

After a few rings he picked up. “What’s up babe?” He said and you relaxed at the sound of his voice.

“Do you think you can come and pick me up I’m at Annie’s house.”

“Yeah I’m on my way right now I’ll see you in a bit.” You smiled. “I love you.” You told him. “I’ll see you in five.” He said and hung up.

You frowned when he didn’t say it back but brushed it off, five minutes later he was pulling up in his jeep. You grinned upon seeing him and quickly made your way into the car.

“Babe!!” You squealed and pressed a kiss to his cheeks. “Hi baby.” He smiled. “I thought you were going to spend the day with the girls? What happened?” He asked.

You really didn’t want to tell him what happened at Annie’s house because the last thing you wanted to do was stress Jack out or make him over worry or look at the girls a different way.

But Jack could tell whenever you were upset or not feeling like yourself and with the look of distress and frustration written all over your face he knew something was up.

“It’s just Annie and Mariah they were talking about you that’s all.” You said. “Talking about me? Don’t they know I’m taken by you.” He joked and you laughed a little bit but you were still very much upset.

“Not in a good way.” You told him and he parked once he made it back to his house. “So talk to me tell me what’s wrong or what’s been going on?” He stated and grabbed ahold of your hands.

He gave you a reassuring smile that basically let you know that he was all ears and wanted you to go ahead and vent.

“They just think that you really don’t mean what you say when it comes to me.” His eyebrows furrowed together. “What do you mean?” He asked wanting you to elaborate.

“Mariah said that you have no actions basically behind your words.” You told him. “Like how you say you’re going to show me off one day and tell the world about me, and how you’re going to marry me one day.” You rambled on and on.

“The two of them just feel as if you’re lying and giving me empty promises they don’t like the way that you love me only behind closed doors.” You expressed to him and watched how his face harden.

“They said all of that?” He said and you nodded your head slowly. “I hope you know that none of that is true Y/N.” He spoke.

“I know it isn’t Jack.” You gave him a small smile. “You just know with me being famous and all that I just want to keep some things in my life private.” He said.

The two of you have had this conversation before you even agreed to be whatever the two of you are now. Jack had talked to you about keeping things between the two of you on the low and you had agreed.

“I know baby that’s why I had to leave I just couldn’t sit there any longer and listen to their lies.” You told him.

“You don’t need any friends like that in your life babe if they were truly your friends they’d be happy for you but it doesn’t seem like they are.” He said.

“I mean I know they mean well.” You told him even though you didn’t exactly like the way they acted earlier they were still your friends.

“Yeah but come on babe what friends are acting like that? You’re happy and that’s all that matters who gives a fuck what they think.” He said.

He was right who gives a fuck what they think because at the end of the day you knew what the two of you had was ‘real’ and that’s all that mattered. You couldn’t care less about the outside opinions of others.

“You wanna tag along with me for the rest of the day? Ima hit the studio and then hangout with the guys I know Urban’s been asking about you.” He suggested and put the car back in drive.

“I’d love to.” You said. Jack smiled and leaned over the seat and grabbed ahold of your face softly. “Don’t worry about them okay? For the rest of the day just focus on me.” He whispered and placed a tender kiss to your lips.

“I will.” You smiled. “Good now let’s get going.” Jack said and made his way to the studio but before Jack hit the road he glanced over to you and noticed you were busy scrolled through your phone.

He quickly logged into his phone and went to his messages and muted a conversation he was having and deleted the saved contact but before he did another message came through from the person.

- I’ll be in town for a few days hope to see you… I miss you hope to rekindle and lit up that spark again if you know what I mean 🙈❣️.

“Jack?” You said and he jumped. “Are you ready to go?” You laughed he nodded his head and put his phone down.

“Uh yeah let’s get going baby.” You smiled and faced the road again and sighed in relief you were thrilled to be spending the day with your ‘man’.

(Enjoy Part one of my Sorrows series!)

[tpher]

stop making me care about topher (respectfully)

my immediate thought was to annoyingly wax poetic abt topher to make it worse so i WILL

topher is 16 by the time hes in the show and the td timeline is all fucky wucky so lets say hes been a fan since the start so hes liked total drama for around 3 years. 3 years? not a lot of time but to a TEEN??? that is SO incredibly long. ESPECIALLY if ur autistic/have a hyperfixation like topher did. so total drama, chris in particular, was his LIFE

it is especially very.. unintentionally meta that so late in the show and in one of the most hated seasons you have this character who competes on the show with the intent of trying to make it better. he still loves it (or at the very least chris) but thinks it wasnt as good as it once was (again. chris). and again as a teen w a hyperfixation it hurts to see something u like go to shit. and in tophers case, its what awakened his dream to become a host someday. so what better way than to "fix" the show you loved by taking over, right? topher certainly has the drive and the motivation to try and make his dreams a reality, even if he does waste time and get distracted a bunch.

so imagine after years and years, you finally meet your idol. youre just so excited and wanna let him know just how much of a fan you are to get on his good side in general, but also as a networking opportunity. youve always wanted to be a host, so now youre not only meeting a host but THE host. so you try to talk but he doesnt really care. and youre just complimenting him and its bugging him. and giving him constructive criticism is also not allowed. and you flat out ask if you could just.. explain a challenge to the others at least once and he gets.. mad at you?

what are you doing wrong? nothing, of course. its just him who doesnt get it. its just him who doesnt appreciate all the years YOUVE put into him. he doesnt understand all the time and effort youve put into being camera-ready and taking meticulous care of your hair and skin; including being in posing classes since age 11 and having a suspiciously intricate knowledge on plastic surgery. most people your age barely even know what theyre going to college for, youve got your whole life figured out compared to them

youve waited long enough, you have the looks and the skills, and if he wont give you what you deserve, then its time to take matters into your own hands

so you grow bitter and impatient (and frown wrinkles, oh no!). youve resulted to stealing this mans phone to contact the network yourself.

and then imagine when you finally put in the effort. and you think your dreams are coming true and it was just your idol-- your FORMER idol-- pulling a prank on you. on international television. for millions of people including potential employers to see. which also cost your team the challenge and got you eliminated in such a humiliating way.

everything you had ever worked for is gone in an instant. and its all thanks to who was once your hero. the one who gave your life a clear trajectory

the last we see of topher, he is unable to form coherent sentences and twitching. we genuinely have no idea how hes doing right now

but i hope hes okay

[adastra121]

Touchstarved x The Amazing Devil

Since I use a bunch of The Amazing Devil songs on my Touchstarved OC playlists, I decided to match them to each of the main LIs. They're mostly the romantic songs, I highlighted the words that made me think of the characters.

Kuras= “Inkpot Gods.” Fighting god for the one you love. Walking a lonely path. The wild feeling of breaking free from the fate you thought you were bound to, the one you believed you deserved. Rewriting tragedy into redemption.

“Oh, what? These, these aren't tears. It's just the rain that wasn't brave enough to fall.”

“And what you see is not the dark, It’s just the gods upturning ink pots 'cause they know what you’ll become.”

"And to those gods, I will speak bluntly 'We've an accord, if you ever touch or harm him Please, rest assured that you might not fear a man But to me, by the end, you'll kneel and plea. 'Cause I'm more than what they all told me to be.'"

"And I wish that I could take their hand, But where I'm going is for me and me alone."

"If I don't make it back from where I've gone, Just know I loved you all along."

Leander= “Fair.” Mostly just vibes. Maybe it’s the gentle guitar, the autumnal sound. A space of solace, so achingly and heartwarmingly normal. The hint of insecurity and bitterness toward the world. The charming awkwardness and humour. I don’t know, this song sounds like Leander's giving you a hug. XD

"And he, he curses at the world For leaving him behind, and he's falling out of touch And they are stronger than he's ever been, he knows."

"And if you asked me to, if you asked me, I would lose it all Like petals in a storm."

"And calm throughout his melodrama They will turn and say, 'Dear heart, it's me, it's me. You don't need to pretend to be someone you're not.'"

"'How unfair, how unfair,' they'll sing As they dance across the darling rooftop wreck."

Vere= “That Unwanted Animal.” It’s either feral in a horny way or horny in a feral way. I don’t know which. Both, maybe? I imagine this is what it’d be like if Vere devoured you.

"And as you grip me like an animal that you're about to spear 'Be good to me,' I whisper."

"I'm the touch you crave, I'm the plans that you made, But fuck all your plans, I'm bored! ‘And can't you hear that scratching?’ I ask your eyes."

"And we fall into each other, the scratching grows so loud Because that unwanted animal wants nothing more than to get out… Oh, and you rip my ribcage open and devour what's truly yours."

"'Be good to me,' I beg of him. And he replies, 'No, no, not I.'"

Ais= “Ruin.” The wreckage after a storm. The strength and the fight inside you that has helped you survive until now being the very thing that destroys what matters to you. Ill-timed jokes. Unspoken regrets. Second chances among the ruin. Also the bird sounds throughout, because, you know. Sparrow. Hehe.

"Our mortar was your laughter And you hurled curses at the land. We didn't talk, we made universes Out of bitten lips and broken hands." This is basically the summary of Ais's scenes in the demo

Mhin= “Drinking Song for the Socially Anxious.” Not belonging, but desperately wanting to. Screaming silence and yearning to be heard. Chance meetings with someone else on the outside looking in. Being outsiders together. Oh, and there’s a cat.

"And I know I won't be long 'Cause I know I don't belong."

"As all my steps too far keep telling me 'This is who you are,' I should go home. I'm not lonely. I just like being on my own."

"Now I'm lying on a bed full of coats Trying desperately to cope. When you open up the door, say something stupid like 'You're lying on some coats,' I say, I know."

[frau-kali]

On Self Awareness and Cognitive Dissonance

So @jaynovz made this really interesting and excellent post about Silver's crazy decision to go to Charlestown at the end of S2. I thought I'd toss out my two cents as to why he might have done it. And also discuss some related stuff. Buckle up, folks!

So first, let's begin with THE SCENE:

Silver: I've had my fill of adapting lately, doing your bidding, keeping the crew in line for you. Flint: I wasn't the only one who benefited from that. Silver: It certainly seemed that way.

Here Flint refers to Silver's position among the crew, which Flint sees as a benefit to both of them. As we see:

Flint: I need your help. They need your help. Silver: Oh please. Don't try to convince me to do it for the sake of their futures. Flint: For the sake of your own. Those men listen to you, they care about what you think, what you want them to think. Where else in the world is that true? Where else would you wake up in the morning and matter?

I could talk endlessly about this whole scene, particularly about Silver's incredibly amazing lie and how he acts during it and his bitterness toward Flint, but that's beyond the scope of this. Instead I wanna focus on self awareness.

With these few words, Flint basically drags Silver kicking and screaming to self awareness land. He is suddenly exposed to the fact that he actually means something here. And by his reaction, I think it's fair to assume this is one the few times, if not perhaps the first time, he's been in a position like this. Based on his past actions and his desire to remain anonymous (see refusing to show his face during the schedule thing, it’s safer to be anonymous), I think his previous modus operandi has been to position himself behind some powerful figure and work in the background to help them achieve their shared goals of getting lots of money. Said people were also probably not as smart as him so he could easily manipulate them as well. We see him do this with Flint a bunch, too, working in the background to help him. And that's what his position on the Walrus crew starts out as.

But then he becomes the centre of attention. They start to like him, which he didn't even necessarily expect when he started his gossip monger plan, he just wanted them to need him, despite his proclaiming that he’s a hard man not to like. But no, they get attached to him. And he, unbeknownst to himself, becomes attached right back.

Now, it's entirely possible that he's been in similar situations in the past just like this one, but because he is very good at repression and lying to himself, he was able to walk away without any real trouble. Maybe he realized afterwards that he actually liked those people but it didn't matter because he'd already left and he tells himself it’s for the best anyway. Silver is likely carrying around some heavy trauma related to emotional attachments to other people, given how he tells Muldoon that “we’ll take care of you” is the most terrifying part of everything that’s happened after losing his leg. And, considering everything else, that sure is saying something.

But here, he has hitched his wagon to James Flint, a man after his own heart. Flint is a lot like Silver, a brilliant liar and excellent manipulator, able to bend people to his will and look damn good while doing it.

Then he does it to Silver, too. And it's all while Silver is in the middle of pulling off his own master class in lying, some of his best work, by being outraged and angry that the gold he actually stole is gone and trying to extricate himself from Flint and the crew. Except Flint won't let him.

Flint's request for Silver's help doesn't, I don't think, extend merely to the lovely speech Silver gives to swing the vote in his favour, either. During the voyage to Charlestown, Silver continues working to convince the men of the dangers that lie ahead, presumably at Flint's behest. Scott does indicate to Billy that Silver is using his storytelling powers to “help the captain” when Silver is addressing the crew.

So Silver stays because he has come to value his position on the crew. However he doesn't yet realize how attached to them he's actually become. Jay is right, he could’ve easily deserted after the vote, run off to hide somewhere until Flint is gone, but he doesn’t. And he's still lying to himself about why. He thinks “yeah ok, Flint, you won this round. I'll stay and go on the voyage so as not to arouse suspicion from you and everyone else, and I’ll take the scouts along because I don’t trust them not to fuck this up, but I am leaving after that.” The real reason he stays is because he values his position, he actually likes that he matters, but he is still convinced he’s going to leave because he also wants the money. I think he probably would’ve left, too, but he’s trying not to think too hard about the newly exposed self awareness and continuously telling himself he doesn’t need this and he sure as fuck doesn’t actually care about these people, even as he stays. It’s like he’s torn between how he wants to be and how he actually is and he cannot bring himself to go no matter how much he wants to.

That’s also not even going into how, during the voyage, he is exposed to how much power he actually has over the men on the crew when he gives the scout a fucking look and said scout kills their co-conspirator because of it. And then that same scout tells Silver that all the men know he cares about their best interests and Silver is just fucking taken aback by the level of regard these people have for him. This is on display again when they all stand up in his defence after Vane’s men come to grab him.

When Vane’s men attack the ship, Silver could swim to shore with the remaining scout and if they kept their heads down, they'd probably be ok. They could likely swim far enough away to not get caught, especially at night. Silver surely knows this, too.

Instead, he cuts the forestay and saves the crew. And then he refuses to give up a list of names, once again saving the crew. He has, against all his own cognitive dissonance, become attached to them enough that he endures torture and risks death for them. Now, I don’t think that he ever thought that he would lose his leg, I don’t think that he made space in his mind for the possibility of being tortured either, he knew that one of the men had grabbed the keys during the scuffle when they took him away and he thought that he could stall long enough until they broke in and saved him because he’s good at talking his way out of trouble. I also have to say that it is such a nice moment when he says this to Vane’s man: “The question you should be asking yourself is, where are his keys and has he seen them since he took me away from my men?” They are his men now, his brothers, whereas before he always set himself apart from them.

And it's all because Flint made him see that he valued his position enough to stay and go on the journey to Charlestown in the first place. Silver even gives Flint credit for this in 305 - “Such a waste, it seems to me, knowing that it doesn't have to be this way. That the man who talked me into giving a shit about this crew, he could talk those people out there into anything. If he wanted to.”

Or that’s how I read it anyway. The way Silver’s attachment to the Walrus crew is developed over the course of season 2 and the final culmination of him refusing to betray them is one of my favourite things about his story and I have a lot of feelings about it. I could be wrong in my interpretation, of course, but thank you all for coming to my Ted Talk :)

[btr-rewatch]

Big Time Rush Season 1, Episode 2: “Big Time Crib”

It's nice to be in the "real" series now! I thought I was going to be stuck reviewing episode one forever.

Highlights: Shenanigans abound, Bandana Man makes his first appearance, and the guys get an apartment makeover.

We begin at the Palm Woods pool, where the guys have just returned from an exhausting day of rehearsals. Before they can get any time to relax, they're kicked out on account of a dog food commercial being filmed there. Several of the commercial's crew members pick up the boys and deposit them into the Palm Woods lobby.

I happened to pause the episode here to write that above paragraph and had to screenshot it. I'd mentioned in the previous post how I remember there being a clear pairing of Kendall & Logan and then James & Carlos, and whaddya know? There it is again. Also, I like Kendall and Logan's matching poses.

Since it's after 9pm, Bitters kicks them out of the lobby, leaving the boys no choice but to retreat to their ugly apartment. I totally forgot that 2J looked terrible in the beginning!

Also, the theme song! It's been so long since I've seen this opening theme song. So fun. Really brings back memories of my dad walking into the room and going, "This silly show again?"

YES, DAD.

The boys are upset that they're stuck in a dump while other residents get much nicer accommodations. Bitters attempts to point out all the positives of their apartment, but it doesn't sway the guys. Moments after Bitters leaves, a pipe bursts, and Carlos responds to it in a way only Carlos can.

This brings back another vague memory of the times my dad would sometimes sit and watch BTR with me and ask, "What's wrong with him?" whenever Carlos did, like...anything, lol.

The guys need a better place to live, and they get a glimpse of that possibility the following day at Rocque Records when they see a drawing of an apartment set that's going to be used in an upcoming promotional video. Griffin wants each of them interviewed for it.

James thinks they should all wear bandanas. This is another thing I'd forgotten about; James had a bandana obsession. I do remember Bandana Man!

The reaction on their faces to James's suggestion is great.

Not gonna happen, James. Keep dreaming.

After the meeting, the guys get right to scheming on how to get the set built in their apartment instead. Well, it's mostly Kendall doing the scheming. Logan thinks it's never going to work, James thinks bandanas will somehow solve their problems, and Carlos is just along for the ride.

They end up recruiting Camille to help with their plan, and she instructs the builders of the set to bring it to the Palm Woods instead. Logan impersonates Griffin (against his will) and then voices his displeasure at this whole entire plan. He does not want to get into trouble. But, like...shouldn't he be used to it? This is what you sign up for when you decide to be friends with Kendall, James, and Carlos.

We hear the "Logie" nickname for the first time in this episode!

Logan points out that a major problem with their plan is that Mrs. Knight is certainly going to take notice of a bunch of people in the apartment from 11-3. We cut immediately to Mrs. Knight informing the boys that she's going to be out job-hunting the following day from 11-3. Cue Kendall throwing Logan this look:

Logan, don't you know by now that things always end up working out for Kendall?

The guys end up getting the interviews moved to the Palm Woods pool and proceed to split up in order to tackle the remaining tasks. And I must say that one of my favorite moments is when Kelly goes to check on how the set is coming and we get that little scene of Carlos and Katie in the studio just making construction sounds.

This is one of those scenes that's lived rent-free in my head for 13 years for some reason. I've forgotten so much about this show, but Carlos sitting there running the power tools and hammering that pile of wood boards earned a reserved place in my brain. I don't know why. But it's a scene that has popped into my thoughts every so often over the years.

Meanwhile, at James's interview...

This show is peak comedy.

Lots of shenanigans happen from here, and for a moment, it looks like the plan is going to fall apart. James Bandana Man saves the day by locking Bitters in a supply closet that, for some reason, has a very simple latch lock on the outside??

This makes absolutely zero sense. For what reason would you choose this type of lock for a supply closet? Literally anyone can open it?? This is serving no purpose.

Anyway! The guys get their super cool new crib installed, they film their music video, and Gustavo has the crew immediately take the set apart and revert the apartment back to its previous state. Sadness once again reigns supreme in 2J.

Their video and interviews are a success, but Gustavo still needs his dogs to face consequences for all their sneakiness. He has them practice harmonies for ten hours with no breaks, which sounds illegal to me?? The boys are only 16, right? Idk, this feels like it's violating some kind of law. Needless to say, they're all tired and bummed when they arrive home. That is, until they see that their apartment has been transformed back!

Gustavo explains that it's a "bone" being thrown to them but not to expect any more. Kelly notes that Gustavo likes the boys but he insists that he does not. Yeah, right. Gustavo loves his dogs.

And that's where the episode ends. It's an enjoyable one for sure—lots of funny moments. Totally different feel to "Big Time Audition" though, and I'm already mourning the loss of Original Kendall. He was still scheming and manipulative in this, but it was in a purely goofy way. There was none of that "fire" that we saw several times in BTA. No edge. First Episode Kendall had an edge. Why has the edge been smoothed away by EPISODE 2?? Does it come back in some spots during the series? I can't remember. I still love him, though.

ok, the end.

[bandedbulbussnarfblat]

Alright, here are some screenshots from the new iwtv s2 trailer and me theorizing over them like a rabid fangirl. Hafl meta, half madness.

ok, so this bit of dialogue here where they are talking about Daniel and the interview

Armand: He wants you in pieces for the privilege of putting them back together as he sees fit. Louis: It's his job. Armand: It's his drug. He's reveling in it. You should end it.

Is Armand bitter? Is this how he saw his and Daniel's relationship? If so he is big mad. Like, this man has had decades to stew in that post-breakup anger. Memory is a monster and all that. So he's had plenty of time to do that thing where people breakup, get pissed off, and only remember the bad times. We twist our own memory all the time, that's one of the ways people get past shit. So Armand has probably twisted what he and Daniel has. Because my boy does not handle rejection well.

Or maybe he is projecting? Messing with Louis' memories (which it seems like he did. though i do believe he thought he was helping Louis at the time. a monster in love is still a monster) could very well be putting him back as Armand sees fit. That's what he may believe he did to Louis. Though the definition of 'as he sees fit' could have multiple meanings. I think personally that Armand sees (or at least justifies) messing with Louis memories as for Louis own good.

Either way, he does not want Daniel poking into Louis' head.

this is just some loumand cuteness. look, Armand kisses Louis on the cheek. i think Armand is or was probably pretty affectionate when him and Louis were alone together. I remember that interview with Assad saying there was a tenderness to Louis and Armand's relationship. there's a whole bunch of cute little shots of them together. but they are hard to get a cleat shot of because they sort of fade into each other in the video.

like, i know in my heart the loumand breakup is coming this season. but i'm going to enjoy it while it lasts. bc this version of loumand has got me hooked. i have to confess, i was never really a big fan of loumand in the iwtv book. the whole claudia of it all ruined it for me. but i am so fascinated to see how these two made it work for 77 years.

and this. the way Claudia and Armand look at each other when they first spot each other. that quick second before the mask can slip into place. they do not like each other. they are enduring for Louis' sake. at least until he picks one of them.

then like a split second later, she has this tight smile on her face. my baby girl is not happy

look at their faces y'all. this is during Louis' 'life is shit' bit of dialogue. where he tells Claudia to stop feeling sorry for herself. he also says they 'can't be running away again' do they find other vampires before Paris? According to her diaries, they were in Romania in 1941. And Louis says something about they can't be the only 'good ones'

We also know they were in Paris, Nov 14 from Claudia's diaries. The interview is set in 2022. Louis mentions earlier in the clip him and Armand have been together 77 years. So they'd have to have gotten together in 1945. Given how quickly things happened in the book, I'd say they were probably only there a few months.

this has to be Allesandra. it has to be. I can't wait for this Armand backstory stuff.

y'all look at this fuckery. Santiago is kissing some woman while riding a motorcycle. idk if she is a victim or another vampire. and i think possibly the bike might be flying? I can't tell. It looks pretty cool though.

oh look, a scythe. i wonder what that could possibly be foreshadowing. they have to have the scene, the way they've shown a scythe in a few different teasers/trailers now.

this might be Madeliene, but I don't know. The hair doesn't fit what we've seen so far. my theory is that this is Madeleine's sister who dies via vampires. in the books she lost a daughter, and it was why she was so eager to play mother to Claudia. Having a child that could almost literally never die would have had to seem like, the greatest thing ever. switching it to a sister would be fitting, seeing as Claudia is playing the role of sister to Louis

So my thought here, (and I know I am theorizing based on nothing but vibes) is that Madeleine is looking into the vampires bc her sister went missing after going to a show at the Theatre des Vampires. And at some point, Claudia will reveal what they are to her.

That may be why she looked so scared in that other teaser we had. These pics are from it and they are blurry af, so sorry bout that

This could be the vampires warning her to mind her business. Why not kill her outright? Bc they like to play with their food. Or bc Claudia wants to keep her, and Armand knows he has to get Claudia out of the way to be with Louis. So he could just like, order the coven to not kill this one human. And then later 'convinces' Louis to turn her into a vampire, so Claudia will have her own companion and gtfo

like, i know it's hard to tell from this one shot, but Armand seems to be on the verge of having a full on tantrum. while saying Lestat's name over and over. Probably bc he heard how much Louis was talking about Lestat to Daniel. he's probably mad jelly, but like, in both directions.

look at this shit. Armand straight up hisses and pushes Lestat away with his vampire powers. (this I think is may not 1945 Paris, but around when they first meet. idk though)

this is how Lestat seemed to be dressed in the image above. and given the whole look of him (you know, in full health) i think this is around the time Lestat meets the Children of Satan

y'all I am screaming. this is Lestat drinking Armand's blood. did they fuck? did Lestat hit it and quit it?

At least Claudia gets to tell Louis off for picking Armand over her. But she definitely was not loving Paris.

as witnessed here, by Daniel reading from her journal "fuck these vampires"

so here we have Daniel saying he wants to get out alive (then we have him making this strange face where it looks like he wants to cry, another shot of Armand) while this other dude says that Daniel fears Armand and that he should fear the other one. Who tf is this guy? Are they still in the penthouse? Did Daniel leave and go out somewhere to meet this guy? Who is this man? Maybe another vampire that paid a visit? Is he this Leonard guy we've heard about? bc that does not look like David Costabile, but tv hair and makeup can perform magic, so maybe it is?

here we have Louis throwing his cup of blood at a painting. it's ok baby boy, you are entitled to a hissy fit every now and again

Here we have Louis hallucinating Lestat, so that's fun.

And now bitch ass tumblr says I can't post anymore images, but i am only halfway through the trailer. so I guess i will post and reblog

[itskeej]

draw the vampire squad I need to see them noW

(fun fact I'm that one anon that asked for ur OC lore cuz I don't have toyhouse lmao I still don't)

well. there they are. some info that i do got about each under the cut:

Victor

The eldest physically, but the youngest vampire.

Ex-priest. He's perpetually pissed off at Luciano for turning him, as he can no longer step foot inside of a church without it hurting him gravely.

Very bitter about the fact his soul was (probably) saved yet he still exists like this. The entire vampire bit is a struggle for him, to put it mildly...

He has totally prayed before a meal of blood only to accidentally bless it, essentially poisoning himself. He has never done it again since.

He is also the reason Luciano has his cross-shaped scar on his forehead! The first time they met, Victor freaked out and smacked him in the forehead with it. It was night time, dark, and his glowing eyes scared the shit out of Victor. It was the first thing he thought of—

Often tries to avoid hunting until the last possible second, right before his hunger-induced bloodlust kicks in. He hates being a vampire that deeply, so he puts it off as much as he can.

Somehow, he's the strongest vampire of the bunch, much to Jacyn's dismay. It feels like Victor has wasted potential. While the others get moody and a little more violent when starved, Victor turns into a whole other man entirely. You'd think that'd be enough convincing for him to keep himself fed on time, but apparently not...

Jacyn

The eldest vampire. He's been around the longest. It shows in his skin with how sickly it appears. Luciano likes to bug him about it.

Definitely let himself get turned thinking immortality would solve some problems of his (it did not). What problems? I've yet to work that one out.

Very much wants power. He's sort of "asserted" himself as the head of their dysfunctional house, it sporting his last name. None of them really care, so it wasn't much of a fight.

Believes humans to be beneath immortal beings. Their mortality places them a step below someone like him. This was not the belief he held before wanting to turn, though.

Much more violent than the other three solely due to not being afraid of getting his hands dirty. He likes to play to his natural strengths, and blood-drinkers... well, they have inhuman levels of natural strength.

Luciano

Second youngest vampire.

As probably very evident by now, he's quite the pest. He's always poking his nose into other people's business or making playful (or what he believes to be playful, at least) jabs at the others. He's quite fond of Victor, while Victor... it's complicated. He hates him, but he feels like he needs to get used to him being around.

Vain... his appearance physically is one of the most important things to him. Dirty his clothes and he'll kill you. Maybe even literally, depending on the garment. Arguably his biggest downfall—he's cried to Hellena about a torn cloak before, to paint a better picture.

Very care-free attitude. He's often out mingling with the night-life of their town.

He views humans like fodder, often referring to them as such and treating them the same way a human would speak about animals.

Drank the blood of someone on drugs once... never again. Not because he'd mind doing it again, but because none of the house knew how to handle a high vampire.

Hellena

Second eldest vampire and second eldest physically.

The easiest tolerated by Victor. The two of them will sometimes sit and talk.

LITERALLY THE MOST SANE IN THIS GODFORSAKEN HOUSE. Between Victor's constant self-loathing, Jacyn's desire for violence, and Luciano... being Luciano, she's so incredibly normal about things.

Drinks her blood though fancy cups! Instead of feeding all at once, she spaces it out. She just prefers it that way, hehe.

She's not sure what she's going to do with her eternity... it's depressing to her, the time she has set out before her. So, quietly, she's trying to find a sense of purpose, a personal journey that's been going on for many, many years.

Sometimes she feels like she's parenting the rest of them. It's exhausting... but, admittedly, humerous. If anything else, she's content to make sure the other three don't somehow manage to kill themselves.

Despite her appearance, she's not that worried about things like ruining her clothes. Possessions and the like are easily replaced and fixed.

Smokes cigarettes. Her lungs don't suffer. She used to as a human and that habit carried over.

As you can see, Victor is definitely the most fleshed out so far LMAO, he's the first one I made and the first I've done rp with among friends, so I've got more knowledge about him. u_u

The others, I'll have more detailed info for in time! >:)

[vote-gaara]

What are some of the cringiest things he's said

Y'know, I love Gaara so much. If he were real, I'd take a bullet for him - go to war for him, even. For him I have literally delved into the darkest depths of hyper-fixation and character worship that is definitely not normal, nor healthy.

And y'know what I discovered?

To truly appreciate a character to their very core is to look at them as a complex individual with both horrible flaws and outstanding feats.

And so I ask that you join me in absolutely lampooning Gaara for the benefit of character analysis, because although we love him dearly, he has said and done some truly cringe things that I, for one, love him for. So let's gooooo...

Cringiest things Gaara has ever said:

So before I really get into this, I gotta say that all of these things (except for one) have come from chunin Gaara. Now don't get me wrong, when I first read this series, I didn't think Gaara was cringe at all; in fact, I thought that his character "went hard" as the kids say these days (if they do say that), but as I've matured, and Gaara's character developed, I can look back at those early days and be like "oh...yikes....that was definitely a little cringe-worthy!" EVEN THOUGH when I was a teenager, I was thinking the exact opposite.

"It annoys me you'd lose control in a quarrel with children" and "You're a disgrace to our village" - Chapter 35 Okay, so this isn't really that cringe on the surface level, and it isn't cringy when Gaara is first introduced. In fact, Gaara seems kinda noble (though scary) here because he is stopping Kankuro from wailing on some kids he just met...But...In the context of who Gaara is, this is really cringy because it's so hypocritical of him, which almost makes it kinda depressing, too. It's clear that Gaara is labelling Kankuro a "disgrace to our village" even though it's Gaara who is carrying that burden because of how Suna sees him...Definitively a bit of sad projection on Gaara's part. Which, speaking about "losing control in a quarrel with children" Gaara literally becomes unhinged and blows an entire operation by "losing to a quarrel" soooooo... Also....Gaara...you're 12, and referring to children as if they aren't only like 5 years younger than you is a little funny (but kinda sweet too).

Any instance of "shut up or I'll kill you" directed at Kankuro Cringy because if you have siblings, you get it. You can say some mean things to your brothers and sisters while growing up together, especially over really dumb stuff, and then when you all mature and get older, you turn around and (hopefully) laugh about it later. Again this isn't really cringy in the moment, but definitely a little cringe when you know how the story plays out and the two brothers become BFFs. Also Gaara never acted on these threats, he was just doing it to bully Kankuro, which made a weird dynamic where Kankuro was both terrified of Gaara but also willing to still do and say stuff that always made Gaara threaten him. They're just both a bunch of squabblers, honestly.

"Bitter crimson tears flow from life-less eyes..." -Chapter 58/59 Not the whole quote, but man when I was a teenager, I though this was soo deep and cool. However, now I read that and it's just like: "awww....he wrote a...poem, I guess."

All of chapter 97 Where he's explaining to Shikamaru and Naruto a bit of his backstory while he's attempting to kill Lee at the hospital. This really isn't cringe in the generic "second hand embarrassment" way but more cringe as in wincing at something that makes you so empathetic that you have to shake it off. You can really tell in this chapter how hurt Gaara is, and how much self-hatred he holds for himself. I mean, even reading the chapter now you can tell how much in bothered him that he "took the like of a woman he would have called mother." He references it so many times and it just breaks my heart how much he loved and cared about Karura, even when he was lost. Then him talking about "needing a reason to live or he may as well be dead" just shows that he thinks of himself as a failure because he wasn't able to be the perfect military weapon for his terrible father. Just ugh...UGH! Kills me.

"To verify my existence" - Chapter 99 He says this to Baki when Baki asks him where he thinks he's going, and the statement just gives off hilarious "moody teenager" vibes.

When Gaara is spying on Sasuke during the Chunin exams (I forget what chapter) Essentially Gaara and Sasuke are having this really intense conversation about having a fight to the death over who can be the saddest person, when Kakashi is just like "wait, you're talking about some type of fight to the death???" I don't know... but Kakashi's line always cracks me up because one minute he's training Sasuke, and the next minute he's spectating two 12 year old boys swearing their life long rivalry and how much they want to kill each other, and I can just imagine Kakashi is thinking "why are all the children I know like this???".

Also, when Gaara is fighting Sasuke in the arena and he's being manipulated by Shukaku, he says some pretty cringy things, but he gets a pass cause it wasn't his fault.

Oh, and I don't think this is cringy, but Temari thought it was pretty bone-headed when Gaara asked "what are your hobbies?" to the woman he was supposed to marry in Gaara Hiden.

I didn't find that cringe, though. Just adorable.

Thanks for the question! I'm actually glad Gaara started off saying some pretty wild things, because it really show cases just how far he's come, and his growth and resilience is honestly what makes me love him so much.

[talisidekick]

I had to take my mask off at work to let it air out. There was a lot of physical activity that day, I made sure no one was around as I usually do, and just took it off for a bit. In enters the cleaning lady, I usually say hello, but I wasn't paying attention, and I just hear "Talia?" like she's confused to see me. I look up, and the look matches. She's -never- seen me with my mask off. She's just staring for a solid minute and I'm not putting two and two together that my mask is off. It clicks when she goes "Why do you hide your face?" and I'm instantly terrified, because like ... fuck ... my face is the one thing that clocks me at this point. Or so I thought because she follows up with "You're so pretty! I thought you would have a beard with the way you always hide. You look lovely, why do you hide your face?". And I'm sorry, but my brain is like "who put you up to this?" and I just be dismissive "Oh I'm just not there yet, you know?". Except she just goes "No, no. You don't look like a man, you look like a pretty lady. The mask makes it seem like you look worse."

Which now has me wondering because not only has a bunch of strangers online said I look cute, not only have my friends confirmed I am pretty, but now the work acquaintance who the most we've done is say hello to eachother and who is also the most brutally honest person I know who would absolutely be direct with me if she though otherwise (she told the site admin that he should wear solid colours and not plaid because plaid "looks aweful" on him, please note, this is her bosses boss, this woman fears nothing), has confirmed this too, how messed up is my own self perception? Do I actually look good and I'm just so used to hating my appearance that I can't look past my own self-hatred? Have I hated myself for so long that I've become unconsciously bitter towards myself?

I might be having an internal crisis...

[onsunnyside]

Imagine him as your son’s history teacher who you sleep with cause your son is bad at history and he needs to pass that subject.

And oh, you really thought he’s the sweetest man ever and only do vanilla sex but he surprised you when he fucked your brain out the first time and suddenly you don’t seem to want to get out of his bed.

You’re the hottest milf in the school and he didn’t want to miss the chance of fucking you..

UHM sleazy history teacher (daddy) and rich milf!reader 😖😖 I’m in love:

It all started when you were just a concerned mother stopping by her son’s school to talk with his history teacher (“don’t even try, mom. He’s such a hard-ass for no reason.” You son warned). You show up to the school in your tight pencil skirt and white blouse since you just came from work, your heels clicking off the floor on the way to his classroom.

You’re sitting close at his desk and discussing your son’s study habits, the older man nods intently, adding advice where needed.

Perhaps some flirty looks turn into gentle touches.

“—I make sure he studies at home, but I can’t say the same for when he visits his father.” You roll your eyes at the thought of your ex. “I’ve told [lloyd or maybe sleazy actor daddy devin peters] how important this class is, but he’s just too stubborn. He only wants to do things his own way.”

“You sound really tense, it must be stressful raising him all by yourself.” His big hand lands on your knee, “You must be exhausted after coming home from work, hm? Always doing everything by yourself.”

He can’t resist—you’re here in a tight skirt and red bottoms, your cleavage basically calling his name. And you’re letting him touch you.

Oh, the other teachers/his friends are going to so jealous.

They’ve got a nickname for you, Mrs. MILF bc you’re the hottest mom at the school. They as in his close friends and coworkers, Mr. Levinson the PE teacher, Mr. Barber the law teacher, Mr. Rogers the art teacher, and Mr. Everett the woodshop teacher. They’ve had countless conversations about you: about your tight work out clothes that hug your body, your ‘sexy boss’ work clothes, and the way your perfume lingers long after you’ve left. They’re all frequent visitors to your social medias where you post (major milf) bikini photos, and pics of you in tiny tight dresses when you go on a mom’s night out with your friends.

You have a great reputation throughout the faculty, everyone loves you !! You help out with fundraisers and volunteer, you also donate a bunch of money to the school. (“If I was still in college, I’d ask her to be my sugar mommy.”) if Lloyd isn’t the father, may haps he’s the principal 😳

For the past three years, they’ve desperately hoped for your son to be in their class just so they could see you/talk to you on parent-teacher nights. This year was a blessing bc your son was in all of their classes, well all of them except Mr. Levinson who was incredibly bitter about it. He still makes it a point to chat with you on the days you show up to drop off your son’s lunch, or pick him up early.

“Your son is close to failing this class, but I suppose we could kill two birds with one stone, sweetheart.” His hand slowly slips up your thigh high stockings to the garter strap that secures them. “I could help you out. Relieve all that tension in your body, and maybe… bump up your son’s grade. Does that sound good, honey?”

And bc I’m a slut, he definitely makes you call him daddy 😫✋ I LOVE SLEAZY DADDIES !! GIMME ALL THE SLEAZY TEACHERS !!

[linesonscreens]

Let's Read Peanuts (Yes, all of it) - September 1951

There are lots of great strips I just don't have room to comment on. I strongly encourage everybody to read the full month at the official GoComics page. Today's month starts HERE.

Sep 3, 1951

I absolutely love the idea that Charlie Brown secretly has a beautiful singing voice.

Sep 4, 1951

He is a good pet owner.

Sep 7, 1951

I feel the need to point out that TV wasn't super popular yet so sitting around listening to the radio is probably something kids actually did.

Sep 12, 1951

Personally, I think somebody having your picture up at all is a pretty big complement regardless of it's relative size.

Also, of COURSE Snoopy's picture is bigger. Have you ever even met a dog owner?

Sep 14, 1951

I really wish we got to see exactly what makes Charlie Brown such an insufferable boyfriend. It must have been a doozy because Violet is bitter about that shit for decades.

Sep 24, 1951

Charlie Brown being the entire reason that Schroeder discovered the piano is a really neat piece if deep Peanuts lore imo.

Sep 26, 1951

Schroeder also plays professionally while not on screen. Another background detail that I think is fun.

Sep 27, 1951

He has opinions about stuff now and has learned to feel contempt towards his fellow man!

Sep 28, 1951

I absolutely love this one. Probably in my top 10 from this decade.

Thoughts:

Damn, Schulz was really on his A-game this month. If you don't normally do so I'd strongly suggest you click the link up there and read the rest of the strips for this month because I had to leave out a bunch of good stuff so I could cover Schroeder's character development.

Speaking of which, It's kind of incredible how quickly he went from being a glorified prop towards becoming the character we recognize in the span of just a few weeks isn't it? He's still not quite there yet (for one thing, he still doesn't have a certain insufferable girl hanging off of his piano) but the foundation has been laid and we're starting to see recognizable elements fall into place.

[dent-de-leon]

If Molly is as short as his silhouette appears, then the wall pin in the sewers is even funnier tbh. Remind me of those viral Japanese memes of people recreating the kabedon in ridiculous ways. Like having a really short person do it. 🤣

Yes!! I love their height difference it's just so fun to me. I've just always headcannoned Molly as being shorter for some reason so seeing his little silhouette makes me happy. Even with the added height of Molly's horns, he's still shorter than Caleb, I can't get over it.

Please imagine Tealeaf being this small when Molly leans up to give Caleb a tender kiss on the forehead, helps Beau carry him back out into the sun. Or Caleb calling Lucien a good boy. Molly holding onto Caleb when he's still bloodied and exhausted, helping him walk while his Magician gives him a fond little pat on the cheek and says, "The only magical thing here is you, friend."

And man, that one moment...I'm so curious to see how they play the sewers scene, because it is this instance when Molly deliberately gets up close in Caleb's face, gives him a little warning about hiding loot from the group. Caleb doesn't look up at him, doesn't say anything at all in response. I remember it was interesting to hear Liam and Taliesin talk about that scene after; they both referred to it as being one of their favorite moments of the campaign at the time.

And I'm pretty sure Tal said that Molly thought Caleb concealing coin was something he could "just fix" with their little talk. Like how he tells Nott not to steal from them, or tries to convince her that she and Caleb need to trust the rest of the party more. It's this moment where he and Caleb are at odds, where Caleb maybe resents Molly a little for it. But. We also have all these moments like the forehead kiss, Molly helping Caleb to his feet when he's injured, Molly gently telling him, "Mr. Caleb. There's only so many burdens we can bear, before we're asking for failure."

Mollymauk is someone who often seems to think he knows what's best for someone, and he'll tell them so. But I think it's also a character flaw that stems from a place of care. The sewers incident might be petty, but then there are moments when he sees a glimpse of just how self-destructive Caleb can be--and you can see Mollymauk just hates having to watch it. Molly telling Nott, "So do you think it would be a good idea to explain to him that he almost got himself killed tonight? Turning on a bunch of people he was working with, he almost got himself killed tonight. For nothing."

I really wonder how the scene would translate to animated nein, especially since everything is so condensed for time. Would they keep Molly more teasing and playful? Or would it focus on Caleb's perspective, and come off as more intimidating? Would we get little glimpses of Caleb's conflicting feelings on the Circus Man--charming, but at times abrasive? Caleb being so closed off and hiding away, not knowing how to react to such an outgoing, affectionate peacock. Being bitter after their encounter in the sewers. Thinking back fondly on a warm forehead kiss and gentle words.

I'm just so excited to see them both interact again, I really hope we get enough time with Molly to really explore their dynamic ;; More than anything, I'd love to see some implication of the moment when Molly started thinking of his Magician as, "softness and light--"

[rexaleph]

So the world of perfumes is completely alien to me, but I pretty much exclusively buy Old Spice deodorants bc I like the smells. Is that too vague to ask for recommendations or can you, an expert, give me some...

oh i love this, picking perfume for people is my fetish. so idk if i can be actually helpful but i'll try! i've had Old Spice deodorants before, idk if i can bring the smell to mind, but it's like (forgive the gendering) boyfriend smell right? masculine cosmetic product type of thing, a little sweet and pine-y? so off of that your deal would probably be designer men's fragrances, which is not super my area of experience, but i can think of some (ignore all reviews that mention gender, perfume people are insane and stupid abt that):

Terre d'Hermes by Hermes is crazy popular for a reason. Spicy-sweet citrus. It suits everyone, it's the thing I'd recommend to buy as a gift for like any butch or man if you're trying to get them into perfume. I can easily see it on an older person, but this twinky undergrad at my job wore it and it worked well for him, didn't give tryhard dad's cologne vibes at all. It's just warm and charismatic and universally flattering. Though maybe more on the expensive side, idk that i can judge prices well given where I live.

Consider Dior Fahrenheit. Also super popular, you'll smell it on people a lot. It also has that sweet-clean slightly spicy men's cosmetics scent, with a bit of depth and bitterness to it. I thought I wasn't into it, but a while back I quite liked it on another guy, was kinda surprised when he told me what it was. (was not into the guy, my judgement is unclouded)

Maybe check out the Bvlgari Man line, i liked those when i first started looking at perfume, especially Man in Black. Neroli Wood was pretty nice I believe as well.

Out of the things i like to wear, i can recommend Bon Parfumeur 003 Yuzu Feuilles de Violette Vetiver, I got it like 50% off so i think of it as a nice cheap find, but you gotta see how available/accessible it really is. The vibe is fresh bitter-sweet citrus, i think it's a bit less perfume-y and more delicate than the ones i recommended above.

Also if you have a local Zara and they still stock the Emotions or Olfactive lines, just check out any that they have. They're made by perfumer Jo Malone, who had this stupid overpriced cologne company, but at Zara prices her stuff is extremely worthwhile. I have tried maybe 3 out of 20, and none of them are bad. Vetiver Pamplemousse is a very cool woody grapefruit, my favorite ever citrus fragrance, that I have actually considered bying from a reseller at like real perfume prices (not doing it but like).

I think vetiver is a note to look out for in general, I associate it very strongly with those pleasant fresh masculine scents, and maybe citrus and sandalwood.

Also please let me know if you end up trying anything, maybe I can give better recommendations then!

Also take all my recommendations knowing that just now I put on a perfume where a bunch of people say it smells like literal feces and idk that have ever been so instantly in love with a scent in my life.

[raveneira]

Continuing from my other post, for those who may be curious if this finally means Im giving up on KawaSara and the possibility that it could become canon...my answer is no, Im not.

Realistically its not lookin good, Im mature enough to admit that, does that mean I think this is the end? no I do not, why? because in a decent mangaka’s writing this usually would be the ship killer, but Ikemoto isnt a decent mangaka, hes not even a decent artist, the bar is literally in hell with him on all fronts.

With this sequels writing literally ANYTHING is possible, it doesnt matter if theres build up to it or not because just look at Kawaki’s villain arc, he literally changed his whole mindset in a fkin DAY and no Im not kidding, go back and read 76, literally took only a day for him to make a complete 180.

Look at Sasuke back in 69, he understood Kawaki, empathized with him, took the blame on himself for failing to be the one to kill Boruto instead, said Konoha doesnt have anyone to blame except for him. Now look at 78, hes holdin a sword to Kawaki’s throat despite sensing Momoshiki TWICE and KNOWING why Kawaki is doing what hes doing, he LITERALLY swore to do the same and yet here he is, hunting down Kawaki like everyone else as if he never once thought about killing Boruto himself.

So do I think this is the death of KawaSara? no I dont, because this sequel switches from one narrative to another on a whim whenever it wants to, so right now things look horrible for KawaSara like theres no way things could ever work out and that they just totally hate eachother now etc but when the story feels like it actually wants to bother remembering Sarada and Kawaki’s bond it will, and if Ikemoto has decided to make them canon he literally will with or without build up because the man just does not care.

So no Im not giving up on KawaSara, and no I dont think KawaSara is dead, this writing doesnt give af about logic or build up so to say 79 really killed the ship is giving this man too much credit as a writer. Nothing is consistent, and nothing STAYS consistent either. If he suddenly wants to remember KawaSaras bond he will, and if he suddenly wants to forget it he will as well, whatever he feels like in the moment is what he’ll go with.

I dont blame ppl for losing hope here, I dont blame ppl for giving up either, I completely understand your frustration and hopelessness and I do not blame you in the slightest if you just wanna call it quits here, totally understandable.

All Im saying is Im not, not because I cant take the loss, I’ve lost plenty of ships and handled it just fine, but for the principal of it.

I will never forget and never let anyone else forget how a certain fanbase cared more about seeing a harmless small fandoms ship sink than enjoying their own ship they claimed was smooth sailing

I will never forget how this supposed biggest fandom of the most popular ship was praying on our downfall CONSTANTLY simply because they couldnt STAND people shipping Sarada with anyone other than Boruto who they felt she was the property of and no one elses

I will never forget how big accounts incited hate and bitterness towards us unprovoked for no other reason than just enjoying seeing a small group of ppl suffer and be ridiculed by their followers because it was just fun hating on the little guy

I will never forget how the entire fandom turned on one big account for the simple fact that he came out that he shipped KawaSara [theres other reasons now but that was the first and still is the main reason they hate him]

I will never forget how this fanbase made that disgusting head tweet [saying they wanted teen Sarada to give Boruto oral on Kawaki’s dead decapitated body] and over 500 ppl FROM THAT FANBASE liked it and cracked similar jokes, one of which saying Boruto should give HER head instead which also got a bunch of likes

I will never forget how that fanbase was quick to accuse KawaSara fans calling us sick and disgusting over a instagram post saying they hope Kawaki R-pes Sarada only for the poster to admit to being a KawaBoru shipper and NONE of those ppl apologized

I will never forget how this fandom was so insecure and downright hateful towards KawaSara just existing that when members of their own fandom also liked/didnt mind the ship they were literally SHUNNED from the fandom to the point they had to leave it because they couldnt stand it

I will never forget how that fandom constantly vandalized the KawaSara wiki page because they couldnt stand it just existing

and I will never forget how these ppl pretended to be the victim of us this entire time and convinced majority of the fanbase of this as well because they had so many ppl already on their side branding us as the bad guys when literally all we did was try to fkin ship in peace and they just WOULD NOT let us do that.

THATS why I wont give up on the ship, not because I cant take the loss, but because I cant stand letting these ppl feel like they won because more than anything they wanna see ppl drop the ship so only Bsa exists while Kawaki is thrown to whoever is convenient but Im not gonna do that. I’ll stand with the ship whether its canon or not, if others do the same great but if not then that sucks but I understand.

I aint gonna give em the satisfaction tho, whether its endgame or not, whether things get better or worse for them, even whether the ship really is killed or not, Im not giving the ppl who’ve just nonstop been praying on harmless ships downfall the satisfaction of thinkin they finally buried us, I just wont do it.

[freedoms-wingz]

Christmas

And yes I am well aware this is after christmas...I forgot to hit post which is embarrassing. Pretend I posted this when I meant to.

Summery: Just our favorite dorks trying to learn what this "christmas" is

Characters: Levi, Jean, Falco, Connie, Reiner

TW: Fluff, Levi being a dad, slight angst in the beginning?, ooc but I really don't care. Christmas.

Christmas.

It was a new concept after the rumbling, the first hesitant celebration of anything in the world.

It was also Jean's first winter off of Paradis, and fuck it was cold! Sure it got chilly in Paradis, but it was still warm, not cold and dark for most of the day. It was a familar cold.

The Marley winter felt more harsh. Bitter. Unwelcoming.

Much like Levi, now that he thought about it. The man seemed to be the very embodiment of the season he was born in.

But...there were the beautiful times too.

The Aurora was beautiful. To see all the colors bouncing and moving. He hadn't seen them before outside of pictures. He had stayed outside for hours watching them until Levi had drug him back in.

He turned back to the house they were still staying in all together. He wasn't sure how much longer it would last, but Levi had said everyone was welcome to stay as long as they needed.

Maybe the man just didn't want to be alone. Jean sure didn't.

Connie and Armin seemed to be on the mend, trying to create a new semblance of normal from their new lives, trying to discard their old identity in favor of a new one. Jean envied them, really. They made it seem so simple.

Then again, Armin was just built different, and Connie had seen more than enough tragedy for many lifetimes he was able to almost brush them off.

Jean had seen many tragedies as well, but they affected him deeper, cut him deeper. He never forgot the faves of anyone he had killed, however few they may have been, however many of them were titans.

He and Levi had bonded over that in the last few months, their inability to forget. Their ability to feel. How they refused to let themselves stop feeling.

But sometimes, Jean wished he could turn his emotions off.

He brushed these thoughts aside, not eager to delve into a spiral of despair on what seemed to be a happy day for Marley. He walked back inside, kicking the snow off of his boots and taking off his coat lest Levi yell at him.

It was then, he heard a noise. He walked into the dining space and saw Gabi there. She was opening various boxes with Falco. Joining the kids was a rather annoyed Levi, and a calm Reiner.

"Jean!" Connie waved, poking his head out from behind Reiner. "Come join!"

"Join what?" Jean asked, but walked closer, intrigued when he saw the boxes.

Gabi turned at that. "Well, Levi was telling me that you guys didn't really have a Christmas back on Paradis, so I figured we'd teach you all about it!" She seemed so eager, and Jean couldn't help the amused grin.

"Alright. Fine." Jean sat beside Levi and saw he was handed one of the boxes. Inside there was...flat looking cookies that seemed somewhat stale and...frosting? And other candies he couldn't Identify.

"Gingerbread houses." Falco explained. "They're fun, most people have them as a decoration. I mean...I guess you could eat it if you really wanted to..."

Jean gathered all the pieces and did his best to follow the instructions, not without sampling things, of course, finding them to be hard and relatively flavorless.

Levi also seemed to go relatively by the book for a time before daring to adventure off and adding little decorations with the frosting at Gabi's insistence. Connie hadn't seemed terribly interested in the instructions and had just thrown the pieces together with a lot of frosting and some dreams. Reiner's was a little crooked, but it added character. Gabi and Falco had worked on one together, and theirs looked admitably the best of the bunch.

"Reiner, help us put this on top of the fridge." Gabi said. Reiner rolled his eyes but done so, given he was the tallest other than Jean.

----

After a time, the kids returned with a tree.

"What the fuck is that?" Levi asked, his tone like a scolding mother. His arms were crossed and his eyes glaring.

"A Christmas tree!" Gabi beamed, able to brush off Levi's harsh tone. It never seemed to have affected her much.

"A fire Hazard more like. And a mess." Levi sighed, but relaxed a bit, limping over to help them get the tree up and into the stand which Gabi helped fix up.

"I also went out and got stuff to decorate it with." Gabi said, laying out various boxes.

"With what moeny?" Reiner asked, slightly scolding.

Gabi not to answer that, instead holding up a round red orb. "This is an ornament. It goes on the tree."

With that, the group set to decorate the tree, Reiner and Jean being uses to put the ornaments in higher places on the tree.

Finally, they had a tree, complete with lights, garland, candy canes, and ornaments. And a tree skirt to catch all the needles.

"And lastly, we need a star." Gabi said. Jean lifted her up and let her put the silver star on the tree before setting her down.

"What's the tree for? And those cookies Falco is setting out?" Connie asked.

"Santa of course. He brings all the presents and you leave the cookies out as a gift." Falco grinned.

Levi looked thoughtful but didn't say anything else.

Strangely Levi left the house after that for a while.

----

Finally, at nightfall, the others had gone to bed, and Gabi was up wrapping the presents she had bought. Levi watched her from the door frame before coming in and sitting on the ground. He kept his bad leg outstretched since it just didn't quite bend how it used to.

"What are you doing?" Levi asked in a soft tone, watching her.

"Wrapping presents of course. Normally people buy the gifts for eachother but...I dont know. Seemed like a lot to put on you guys." Gabi said in a soft voice, finally reminding Levi of just how young the girl was.

"Hmm. And what day exactly is this?" Levi asked, pulling the girl closer and helping her wrap by holding the paper down on the box.

"Christmas." Gabi said.

"Tch. You know what I meant." Levi said, amused at her regardless.

"The 25th. Why?" Gabi asked, tilting her head back against Levi's chest.

"I think that's my birthday...I don't really remember though..." Levi replied in a soft voice, folding the sides of the paper to the box as Gabi taped them.

"Why wouldn't you remember your own birthday?"

"I never much cared about it. My mother did when I was little...I barely remember any of that though...truth be told I don't even remember what she looked like anymore." Levi explained. "She died when I was 4."

"Oh? And your dad...?" Gabi asked, curious.

"Never knew him. It could have been anyone. My mother was a sex worker." Levi said, not bothering to sugarcoat things.

"Oh...do you remember anything about her?"

Levi searched his memory. "Very little. I remember she had a nice voice, she'd sing me lullabies. She also used to cut my hair for me...in this style. I remember every once in a while, she'd save up enough and buy some sweets, and we'd eat them together."

Gabi nods and falls silent. "Were you alone after that?"

Levi sighed. "Not entirely. My uncle found me. Took me in. He was...unique. Taught me a lot. Like how to say hello to people and how to hold a knife...how to stay alive in the underground where I was. He cruel man...made me do shitty things he didn't feel like doing himself. I wanted to hate him...now...I almost miss him." Levi said, setting the box aside and watching Gabi write Connie's name on it.

"How old are you then?" Gabi asked. "If it's your birthday and all."

Levi thought for a moment. "I think I'm 36, I lost track honestly. It didn't matter much. I couldn't count passed 10 or read for most of my life anyways. Erwin taught me those things when I got promoted in the scouts and ended up having to do paperwork. I must have sat in his office for hours writing with him and reading...."

Gabi turned and yawned, cuddling into Levi's chest.

"Tired brat?" Levi looked down at her, his arms wrapping around her.

"No..." Gabi said, holding back a yawn before walking over and handing Levi something small and wrapped.

"Hm?"

"For your birthday. It's important to celebrate that, too." Gabi explained.

Levi unwrapped the paper, doing his his best to be gentle with it. He eventually came across a leathery feeling and pulled the paper away, revealing a small black wallet.

"It's not much..." Gabi averted her gaze.

"It's enough." Levi said softly. "More than I've had in years."

Gabi smiled before yawning again.

Levi rolled his eyes and got up carefully, then picked her up in one arm in a bridal carry.

"Don't hurt yourself!" Gabi hissed scoldingly but also seemed to relax.

Levi carried the girl to the couch and laid her down, throwing a blanket over her. "Shut up and sleep. That...That Santa guy won't come if you're not asleep...brat."

Gabi giggled but eventually fell asleep.v

With that, Levi went to his own room and opened up the bags he had gotten at the store and set about wrapping, doing his best to copy the motions of Gabi. He also made sure to write "from santa" on them. He set them under the tree and ate a couple cookies and them went to sleep.

While he may have thought the whole thing was a little dumb, he was never one to deny a little bit of happiness.