#i always leave that app feeling worse than when i opened it

[inkykeiji]

hi clari! first off, ur hair looks so cute!! i think it suits u really well! second, i think u said a while back that u limit ur social media intake and i was just curious to know what apps do u refrain from using and what apps do u have…

hi anon bb!! (´∀｀)♡ thank you so much!!!!! i rly love it hehe i feel like myself again (*/ω＼*)

ah yes!!! so i actually only use tumblr on a daily basis, believe it or not! tumblr is the only social media site that i check every day and that i regularly post to. i technically have a twitter account and have an instagram account, but i don’t post to either of them at all and only check them once or twice a week on average (usually to look for something specific ie leaks).

omg i ran out of tags LMAO it’s been a while since that happened but anyway my thoughts are down there!!! i hope you have a lovely friday sweetpea <3 stay safe and stay healthy!!! ♡(˃͈ દ ˂͈ ༶ )

[hella1975]

hiiii haha. hello. exceptionally awkward introduction bc idrk how to start something like this so let's just jump right in. im taking a break from this account for a bit. i know i said i wanted taob out before halloween and currently im fine sticking with that deadline, but if i decide i need longer away then i will take longer away. every time ive reassured people that id never abandon a fic and updates will always come eventually i never once considered that my writing and ability to feel safe and comfortable on this site would be actively taken from me, so im not even going to apologise. i dont want this either and more importantly i dont fucking deserve it. i dont know what it is in the past year, if ive hit a certain amount of followers or 'popularity' that's made it so the natural ratio of positive to negative interactions must in turn go up, but there's been a serious uptick in weird asks for me. the annoying part is that a very small amount of them are actually objectively mean and hateful, the rest are just weird and invasive from people who seemingly dont realise that's what they're being. ive reached a point where i dont care if the intentions are good. it's not my job as a 20 year old tumblr user of all things to defend the morality of someone who couldnt even bother to come off anon. unfortunately, after blocking only one or two anons, the weird asks have decreased substantially, which says all you need to know about the fascinating and exhilarating lives led by these people, but ive also gone on to turn anon asks off entirely. this is something i actively fought against doing and had to be pushed into by my mutuals (who have been the coolest people on planet earth during this entire thing). turning off anon was a big deal to me even if it sounds silly. i felt betrayed and like id been backed into a corner because it was so vehmently something i DIDNT WANT that to feel like i had to do it anyway for my own mental health??? that sucks. so even though ive 'fixed' the problem, im still kind of reeling and uncomfortable every time i come on tumblr. i hope it's just something i need time to ease because i'll truly be devastated if this becomes 'ruined' for me. tumblr exists as the only place in the world where i am honestly every facet of myself without shame or hesitation; losing that would be insanely harmful to me. and to the people who cant appeal to the actual human behind the post, let me put that in words you can understand: we wouldn't get any more writing 😦😦😦 riots and fires and sirens, i know. so yeah. to anyone who has sent me an anon ask and you're now wondering if you were part of the problem, im firmly of the belief that you'll know if you are. when i say 'weird asks' i dont mean 'you sent me a para about your personal life just to vent or ask for advice' or 'you sent me a really deep emotional compliment about the impact me and/or my writing has had on you' - i love asks like that, so much that i put off taking a break and turning off anon solely for the joy they bring me. im sorry that it might feel like you're being punished too bc of the actions of what in reality is a HANDFUL of weird people, but this is what i feel like i have to do to feel safe and not go insane every time i log in. love you guys, hopefully ill see you soon x

[pupkashi]

the last person you expect to patch you up is gojo satoru, so why are you knocking on his door?

a/n: hi friends! i hope you enjoy this :] im not sure if i like it very much but I’ll let u guys pick it apart and decide if i should be run off the app or not :P please let me know what u guys think !!

wordcount: 1,376

masterlist

you’re hesitant to knock on the door you’re facing, one arm squeezing your middle and the other holding you up against the wall. you’re sure you looked like we’re about to die, but still you could help but feel like death was a better option than knocking on gojo satoru’s door at 2 in the morning.

the stinging in your side leaves you no choice, lifting your hand and knocking three times. every passing second seems eternal and you almost want to just walk away and head to campus, hoping you make it until morning.

the door swings open, satoru looks at you with wide eyes and messy hair. he looks so normal, you think, taking in his appearance of sweatpants and a t shirt he must’ve thrown on seconds before.

“what the fuck happened to you?” he breathes out, not hesitating to pick you up, carrying you to his restroom and flicking the light on. if you were any more lucid you might’ve caught the genuine concern in his voice and the pounding heart in his chest.

“think the higher ups hate me” you manage to chuckle out, sucking in a sharp breathe when you try to sit up on your own.

satoru is quick to help you up, large hands gently handling you. his brows are furrowed as he looks at the state you’re in.

“why didn’t you call up shoko or go to campus or- literally anything else?!” he scold you, his voice is a higher pitch than you’re used to, he’s running his hands through his hair, tugging slightly before sighing deeply and calming himself down.

“didn’t wanna bother ‘em” you say, voice small. gojo knows in his mind you of all people could never be a bother, especially when shoko absolutely loves you.

“can i take this off?” he asks softly, tugging at your uniform top. you nod weakly, letting him work the fabric off you gently, sucking his teeth when he sees the gash on your side.

“that bad huh?” you laugh, there’s a beat of silence that you find unbearable. your eyes are heavy and the only way you can muster staying awake is by talking, words leaving your mouth without even thinking, “not gonna tell me ‘I’ve had worse’ or ‘this is nothing’ ?”

satoru only brings himself to snicker, “you’re about to pass out and you still wanna bicker with me.”

“to be fair it’s always you starting shit” you chuckle, hissing when he starts cleaning your wound. satoru mumbles a small ‘sorry’ before continuing.

you weren’t completely wrong, satoru always loved seeing you riled up. he loved watching the way the fire ignited behind your eyes when you shot something back at satoru, he loved watching your nose scrunch up when he said something stupid, he loved how you’d fight back smiles when he disrespected some asshole higher up.

“yeah, yeah, you're always saying that” he smiles, finishing up whatever he could on your side before moving to the cuts on your face.

you were still as he gently dabbed the wipes on your face, the slight stinging feeling was the last thing on your mind. the smell of his body wash was muddling your thoughts, the way his fingertips brushed against your skin gave you goosebumps.

“who sent you on the mission?” his voice was no longer playful and light. there was an edge to his voice as he spoke, and you couldn’t stop the chills that ran down your spine.

the only thing you could muster was a small shrug of your shoulders.

“it was the higher ups from last time, wasn’t it? the one you stood up to?” his voice is threatening and low, blue eyes boring into you as you tried to avoid eye contact.

“y/n, look at me” the stern tone left no room for protest, looking at him and gulping. you nodded your head, whispering a small ‘yeah.’ satoru mumbled something you couldn’t hear, his jaw clenched and hands shaking slightly.

“I’m going to kill them” he spat, taking a step back before look at you again, the sight filling him with even more rage.

“didn’t you say that wouldn’t change anything?” you stated, sitting up as best you could, trying your best to hide the pain you felt from the sudden movement.

satoru ignored your words, already making a move to head out of the bathroom door, but your voice stopped him.

“don’t- i don’t wanna be alone” you whispered, eyes watering a bit as the reality of the situation hit you all at once. “i just- nevermind” you laughed dryly, hissing as you pushed yourself off the countertop and stood.

satoru was immediately at your side holding you up, “what are you-” your words cut him off before he could finish.

“I’m gonna go home, don’t wanna bother you more than i have” you smiled, eyes still a bit teary. you’re brain doesn’t process what’s happening fast enough, only realizing what’s happening a couple seconds later when satoru’s arms are wrapped around your body.

“you aren’t going anywhere” he mumbles against the top of your head, squeezing you gently.

the warmth of his body is enough to comfort you, muscles relaxing and letting your tears spill against his chest.

“why?” you whisper, the question causing satoru to tense up against you. “why do you care so much?”

his thoughts stop for a second, the only thing on his mind is you. the way you’re looking at him in a way you never have before, with an emotion he can’t place. he can only think of one thing.

“isn’t it obvious?” he replies, voice soft, his cheeks heating up and ears burning. he’s trying to hide the slight tremble of his hands as he caressed your cheek softly, thumb wiping away a stray tear.

“only obvious thing about you is your ego” you smile, laughing a bit between sniffles as satoru gasps at you.

“and you say i start things?” he giggles, picking you up softly before leading you to his bedroom. the two of you in a comfortable silence as he looks through his drawers, handing you one of his shirts and shorts for you to change into.

“you can drop me off at home-” you begin but satoru is quick to speak over you.

“I’ll sleep on the couch, there’s some toothbrushes in the top drawer under the sink,” he says, continuing to list off any other items you’d need and where to find them.

it’s ten minutes later and you’re laying in the large bed, staring at the ceiling when you find the energy to walk into the hallway, peeking around the corner and into the living room.

satoru smiled at you, the bright tv lights illuminating his figure, “cant sleep?” he asks. you nod your head, slowly making your way towards him. “c’mere” he says softly, gently moving you when you sit on the couch, letting you cuddle into his side until you were comfortable.

between the exhaustion and the comfort of satoru’s fingers running along your arm you were sound asleep in a matter of minutes (10, satoru was counting). he placed a feathery kiss to the top of you head, shifting to pick you up, carrying you to his bed and tucking you in, slipping besides you before facing the opposite direction.

you stirred a bit, mumbling something and causing satoru to turn, “y/n?” he whispered. you seemed to gravitate towards him, one of your arms finding him and tugging his shirt, making him come closer to you. still asleep, you nuzzled yourself against him, sighing softly before stilling again.

satoru draped his arm around you, keeping you close before letting his eyes shut. for tonight, he won’t think about the thing he’ll say and do to the higher ups who sent you on that mission as punishment.

instead he’ll hold you close, keeping you safe and making sure you’re well enough to argue on any and every thing possible. he’ll make you breakfast tomorrow and ask if you feel the same for him. he’ll rush you to shoko so he can kiss you with as much passion and fervor as he’s imagined since the time you almost beat him in an argument.

taglist (send an ask to be added!): @chilichopsticks @anime-for-the-sleepless @4sat0ruu @luna0713hunter @safaia-47 @nanamikentoseyebags

[lot-of-nothing]

Entwined (Ch. 3)

Melissa Schemmenti x Reader

You finally blow up on Melissa.

Warnings: Toxic Melissa, smut, and very veiled internalized homophobia

Author's Note: Okay so walking into this I had an entirely different idea, and then the fic just wrote itself. Thank you soooo much to @alexusonfire for betaing this <3

Ch. 1 | Ch. 2

While it had been weeks since you last spoke to or texted Melissa, she had been trying to contact you for weeks. You had received ‘come over’ texts, nudes, and lewd messages from the redhead - all of which drove you crazy. Sometimes you would find yourself staring at the past pictures she had sent, craving her. 

This craving felt immoral, especially now that you had been casually seeing someone you met online. 

Ericka had just about everything you were searching for in a partner - especially the way she responded to your texts and happily went on dates with you without you having to beg. She was kind and you were sure you both shared some interests (although you didn’t know what they were). You knew the bar was incredibly low for this stranger you met through a dating app, but you kept telling yourself anything was better than your dating life prior. 

--

Ericka stared across the table at you with her head resting in her hands, listening tentatively to your turn in the game you were playing. She always looked at you with a kindness that made you nervous. Her finger danced across the tabletop as she spoke softly, “Can we order dinner?”

Pulling your phone from your pocket, you opened the folder containing all of the apps for different restaurants and food delivery. You handed over your phone, your hand grazing hers made your cheeks flush. “Yeah. Take a look at what’s available and we can order something. I’m gonna go to the bathroom.”

When you emerged from the bathroom, you would have never expected for Ericka to have her coat on with her purse hanging off her shoulder. She held out your phone to you with a dejected look in her eyes that made your heart sink, “Is this the same Melissa you used to see?”

“What?” You ask, chewing the inside of your lip and taking the phone from her hands. Your eyes examined the open text chain between Melissa and you with a new picture you hadn’t seen that had been sent mere minutes ago - a picture featuring the bottom half of Mel’s face and her open blouse with her breasts pulled from her bra. It was mesmerizing, but you tore your eyes away to make yourself seem like less of a terrible person. 

Ericka’s jaw was tight as she spoke, “She texted you.”

“Ericka-”

“No. It’s really okay. It’s better that I know you aren’t emotionally available now than later on when it hurts more.” She cut you off and gave you a pained look that cracked your heart in two. While you hadn’t grown extremely attached to Ericka, she was incredibly kind to you and you never wanted to hurt her in all of this. 

Her tone alone told you that none of this was open for discussion or explanation, but you tried anyway. “It isn’t like that.”

“Then what is it like?” Ericka gave you a few moments to reply, but when you couldn’t formulate an answer she gave a saddened nod. She left you in silence as she walked towards the door, only pausing when she had one hand on the door handle. “That’s what I thought… Have a good night. I hope you find what you are looking for.”

--

After everything happened with Ericka, you were feeling horrible about your inability to fully cut Melissa off. If you are unable to do that, how would you ever move on? Tears pooled in your eyes and you wiped them away with your sleeves. You didn’t feel you had the right to cry after what you did. And to make matters worse a knock came on your front door. 

You pulled open your front door with reddened eyes and you couldn’t believe that Melissa was standing on your front step. The redhead pushed past you with a huff, entering your home without giving you a sideways glance, “I thought she would never leave.”

“What are you talking about?” Your jaw tightened at the prospect that Melissa could have something to do with your date with Ericka going so poorly.

Mel stolled deeper into your home, dropping her purse onto a chair and perching herself on the arm of the same chair. She rolled her eyes as she described how she found herself outside of your home a half hour ago. “Well I drove over here to see why you weren’t respondin’ to any of my messages when I saw Ms. Sunshine pull up.”

“And that’s why you conveniently sent a picture while she was here?” It wasn’t hard to tell from your tone that you were becoming increasingly infuriated. 

“Well I thought it would bring you to your senses. I didn’t plan on her seein’ it.” Melissa flipped her hair over her shoulder nonchalantly. You couldn’t believe how unaffected she seemed by ruining this night for you. How could a person be so cold?

Her confidence made heat rise to your cheeks. You couldn’t remember a time when you were so infuriated by another human. You clenched and unclenched your fists, snarling at the redhead, “So I had a real shot at a real relationship and you couldn’t let me have that? I thought this was just casual, hm?”

Melissa looked down at the floor, speaking with a wavering confidence, “It is.”

“This? This is casual? Casual, Melissa? This has been going on for years! You keep me like a little puppet on a string, but are you ever going to give me a chance? NO! Because you keep telling yourself you aren’t even the least bit gay.” You shifted quickly into shouting, unable to contain yourself any longer. 

Melissa opened her mouth to respond, but you cut her off before the words could fall off her tongue. “DID YOU EVER THINK OF WHAT THAT DOES TO ME? WHAT YOU DO TO ME? You drive me fucking crazy! I had a woman here! A woman who wanted to fucking date me, but you knew how to fuck that up for me so you could be the only one, huh?”

Melissa moved off the chair and placed her hands on her hips, staring up at you in an act of defiance, “Don’t act like you are such a victim. I never forced you to be so goddamn desperate.”

You knew she was trying to intimate you, but you weren’t about to cave for this woman quite so soon, “Desperate? I’m desperate? Says you that sent me so many messages and pictures detailing how badly you needed to be fucked.”

Melissa paused, trying to find her next argument, but it had momentarily escaped her, “I-I-”

“Go upstairs.”

“What?” The redhead’s eyes opened wider, but her mouth still formed a scowl. 

“Go upstairs. I’m going to fuck you.”

—

You weren’t even sure how Melissa was feeling after you told her to get on her hands and knees. Usually you loved watching her face and breasts as you fucked her with the strap, but now you only wanted to get your anger out. 

With one hand you clutched her beautiful red locks, and used the leverage to pull her backward mercilessly onto the dildo. The other hand gripped her waist - undoubtedly leaving fingertip-shaped bruises on her skin.

Melissa’s jaw hung slack, tears pricked at the corners of her eyes, but she continued to will them away to not show you any weakness. She barely made any noise, however. The redhead had two orgasms which caused her senses to go fuzzy - a sensation she was growing to love. “M-more.”

“More? You think you’re in a position where you can ask for more?” Your voice was a low growl that sent shivers down Melissa’s spine. With a tug of her hair, you pull her backwards so she sat up higher on her knees. The redhead sucked in a breath from the pain, and instinctively you wrapped your spare arm around her waist to pull her down into your lap. 

The feeling of Melissa’s body pressed to yours had you feeling crazy. Slowly you released her hair, and slid your hand to her face, brushing the backs of your fingers across her cheek. Melissa was breathing heavily and subconsciously grinding down onto the strap. Your gentility ended after your thumb glided over her jawline and you dropped your hand to her throat, grasping firm enough to make her whine.

Your voice was merely a whisper as you began slowly rocking tantalizingly slow up into Mel, “You are an evil woman. Consumed by your own selfish pleasures…” 

The pretty redhead let out a meek whine.

Your hand remained steady on her neck while the other trailed down her abdomen, fingers slipping between her folds with ease. While the strap barely moved in and out, you were teasing her sore clit as you listed off Melissa’s sins, “You don’t think I remember all of the things you have done? All of the boyfriends you cheated on with me… Coming to my apartment the night before you and Joe got married… You were broken up with Gary only for a couple hours before you had me in your bed…”

Melissa huffed in frustration and wriggled in your grasp, failing to find the words to argue. Only if you could have seen the way her cheeks flushed pink with embarrassment - those were all memories she pushed deep down. 

“And you’re right. I am no victim. I let you do whatever you want because you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.” You put a period on your sentence by catching her ear lobe between your teeth. Even while you wanted to punish Melissa and take all of your anger out on her, you avoided the hoop of her earring as you would never want to cause any real harm.

Flattery was truly the way to Mel’s heart no matter what she would say. Her groan in response was guttural and conveyed a desperation that was incredibly satisfying. She then began rutting against your hand, crying your name over and over again. 

“I wish I could hate you.”

And with those cold words, Melissa came hard enough that she doubled over out of your grasp. She buried her face into the sheets to hide the tears that involuntarily fell from her eyes. 

—

Once Melissa had recovered from her orgasm and moved off the strap, you slid off the bed. With your back turned to the redhead, you removed the strap in exchange for sweatpants. You refused to look at Mel when you spoke, “You need to go.”

“What?” She whipped her head around. Her brows were furrowed, and if you would have turned around, you would have seen the hurt in her eyes. 

“Leave. I can’t get over you if you are still here.” You cleared your throat uncomfortably as you pulled a shirt over your head. You weren’t sure if you wanted to cry or wretch - regardless you were in pain with the line you drew in the sand for Melissa.

Melissa’s voice was soft… softer than you had ever known, “Hon…” 

“Have mercy, Melissa.” 

Four Months Later

The bartender placed a drink on the bar before you, earning them a furrowed brow and questioning glance. They gave a toothy grin in response and pointed down the bar to your left, “It's from the redhead.”

Your stomach sank at the prospect, and the bartender noticed how your features drooped. With a sympathetic glance, they let you be with your thoughts. 

Melissa. It had to be her. 

You stared down at the wood grain of the bar, debating if you even wanted to open the wounds that were barely healed as it was. Even a glance felt like too much for you now. You weren’t ready for this after everything ended so terribly.

But it didn’t seem like Melissa was giving you much of a choice as her plump hand crept from your shoulder blade to your shoulder, “Long time no see.”

Link to Chapter 4

Taglist: @esposadejoyhuerta, @unicorniusfallapatorius, @sapphicxrat, @earpivore

[yorsgirl]

Love is a Curse

Trope: Angst

Warnings: none

Word Count: 818

He is perfect.

Fingers threads through your hair, abruptly stopping when you question: would you be sad if I die?

His eyebrows knit together, he stares at you with confusion - you aren't dying.

You want to smile, if I do?

I won't let you.

He is a man of few words, it's often not he expresses himself but when he does, your chest rumbles with an emotion you certainly know about.

I am never letting you go. You're stuck with me forever.

You know he's right. You truly are stuck with him forever.

.

He is like dopamine.

Touches aren't what you expected them to be. You know the touch even with his presence or absence.

They belong to you after all.

It's his name you chant, his name you say. Whether they be alone or in middle of a crowd. Your mind screams his name, always. The fantasies you stage revolves around him, always.

Everything he does leaves you wanting more.

You tell him this one very night, lying in your bed. He listens, he knows. He is there every night, every time, every second. He knows.

But he doesn't answer.

You close your eyes, then you hear him say.

So do I, for you.

.

Distraction doesn't work.

You try to. You really do.

You try using apps, moving to your people, your friends, your teachers, your family. They don't help at all. And you are down the rabid hole again.

Then you are running to him.

He scolds you, still taking you back with open arms. Chiding you for even trying to believe what they said.

Arms wrapped tight against your body, you cry silent tears hearing words so endearing. You don't deserve this.

He knows what you are thinking. You deserve everything, my love. The stars, the moon, the sun, the world... I will give you what you want. I am yours.

Why does he do this? Doesn't he know it has you falling for more?

He is cruel.

.

It's on days you want to comfort him.

You see him again. You read him again. As always.

There is a smile on your face and your chest is rumbling with that emotion again. You almost can't stop your squeal.

But then you see him in despair, in pain.

And it hurts you seeing him hurt. Emotional or physical, it doesn't matter. It hurts seeing him hurt.

You want to reach out and comfort him. But you can't.

.

Everyone tells you, you shouldn't be this devoted.

You can only answer that you can't.

Your devotion can never measure up to his. His affection, his tenderness, his devotion... his love. They are immeasurable for you.

But he is consumed with darkness. They say.

They fail to understand that you love his darkness as much as his light. For in your darkness, only he sits with you. Only he knows about it.

The parts they see as ugly and unlovable, are the very parts he said he loves the most about you when you said it to him.

Plugging the earphones on, you hear his voice again on the other end.

Did you forget me, pretty? You aren't calling lately, or did you find someone else? Nah, can't be. You have to get rid of me before that.

And getting rid of me isn't that easy.

You hate how he knows so much about you.

.

The men around you are... nice.

And it's just that. They are nice.

Some of them better than the other, some worse. And you know, you can live with one of them, one day.

But it feels wrong.

Thinking about other guys feels wrong.

Its foolish of you to even think you can ever replace him with one of them. Even when the touch of another on your skin repulses you.

And at the end of the day, its just that - they are nice.

Then you question:

Can they ever understand you like him? Can they ever know you like him? Can they ever accept all the darkness about you like him? Can you ever love you like him? Can they ever be him?

The answer is clear.

Hence, you are running back to him. He accepts you with open arms.

He is your home, regardless of what he does.

He tells you that, It is fine. I will never let you go, pretty. You are mine.

And that's what you want to be. His.

.

You open your eyes.

You see the ceiling, you are in your room.

Love is a curse. It has you falling for him in every way possible. And it's him, that you want. You wonder if you'll get over him.

You want to laugh. Who are you kidding? It's been years.

You smile, a single tear rolls down your eyes. The realization hits you again, like every other day.

You love him. You want him. But you can't.

You exist. He doesn't.

Characters: Levi Ackerman, Sukuna Ryomen, Gojo Satoru, Kageyama Tobio, Shoto Todoroki, Bakugo Katsuki, Son Hak, Loid Forger.

A/N: uhm, this is very close to me and the characters mentioned are just my faves with whom fantasize the most, you can imagine your other fav in place of them too

+

Thank you for reading.

[thecynthh]

end game - M.S

synopsis - through matt and y/n’s life both of them never thought they would be hooking up, but what happens when everyone finds out about them and it blows up in their face.

2.6k words

notes - IM NOT HATING ON MADI I JUST NEEDED SOMEONE TO USE FOR STORY PURPOSES. (im her biggest fan dont cancel me)

(synopsis for a new series that i’m working on is featured)

this is for @annamcdonalds67 contest!! i saw the post and saw how many taylor swift songs were there and this was one of my favourite ones out there and i got insanely inspired. please share some love to anna as well bc she deserves it for organizing this !

warnings - smut->angst, small matt sub, riding, oral (fem receiving), childhood best friends to fwb to lovers, badboy!matt x goodgirl!reader

for lacysturniolo and her amazing work and dedication to her fans, i’ll look up to you, forever and always

-

matt barely made it through the door before his arms were strangling me in a death inducing kiss. in my whole 17, almost 18, years of life i never expected in my life did i think my childhood best friend would be the one crushing me with his lips. we’ve both dated around but through it all we ended up here.

“fuck, matt” the breathy name escapes from my mouth feeling him move down to my neck leaving stinging hickeys with his talented mouth. “god im glad your parents aren’t here, don’t think my good kid image would keep up if they heard you.”

“you’re so inappropriate matt” my eyes roll listening to him rub in how much my parents love matt. “come on, i don’t like the idea of you fucking me on any other surface than in my room especially in my parents house.”

“whatever you say princess,” the small smirk he’s always had since he was 12 still looms over me as i lead him towards the grand staircase. he followed very close behind me keeping his arms and mouth on my neck.

it doesn’t take long till he’s holding my arms above my head with his fingers intertwined with mine. “matt, fuck, please can you just fuck me now.”

“you don’t get to be impatient, you called.”

“and you came.”

“you are about to as well.” i wanted to wipe that smirk clean off his face if his body didn’t feel so right pressed up against mine.

we haven’t told anyone about us yet, not even nick or chris. we both knew it would only make things worse, and i was alright with keeping it a secret. i’ve spent enough of my closeted and innocent. I'm a teenager, teens are supposed to do this type of thing. teens may hook up but maybe not with their childhood best friends

his mouth trailed down from my neck, to my sternum, all the down to between my thighs before he yanked my legs down to come closer to the edge of the bed.

3RD PERSON POV

matt’s hands never seem to have left y/n's body, exploring every last inch of her body. her arms, legs and heart were his. matt spends no time wasted connecting his lips to her clothed heat, within seconds she’s shimming her pants and underwear off.

there was a small knock on the door with an awaiting friend, madi was there to meet up with y/n to pick up the homework she had missed that day. without an answer from the door, madi looks around the house through windows and cracks in the blinds.

only seeing a light shown through from the living room, she wanders off to the balcony and fire escape on the side of the house. it was only a flight of stairs and a half till madi was on par with the balcony, it was a short climb till she was onto the balcony. the only thing blocking madi and the couple was a transparent creme coloured cloth with embroidered rose accents.

y/n’s loud moans escaped flooding her bedroom, escaped through the window. the curtains sway giving madi an opening to see matt fully down on her friend and her enjoying it. madi’s mouth gapes open as ashe slides her phone out of her pocket.

the camera app opens quickly as she swipes to record.

the small blip of her phone pipes up as she capturns the full scene on camera, the summer sunset gave a yellow glow to the recording. matt rips off his shirt with one arm dipping right back to y/n’s core.

madi’s only thought was to share it to her best friend, nick. little did she know nick wasn’t the only one she sent it to, but her homework group. madi continued to record through the small slit of the window.

science 4 group

madi 🩷

* view one attachment *

HOLY SHIT LOOK MATT AT Y/N’S HOUSE!!!!

Y/N’S POV

“matt, matt, matt” the release came to me in an instant. “come on baby girl, you did so well. you ready?” the sound of his belt come undone only made me hotter. before another word could be exchanged i grab his shoulder pulling him down to the bed rolling on top of him.

“i’ll ride you till your dick is limp and your begging me to stop.” matt’s reaction only made me feel even more aroused. “anything for you baby,” matt said copying my tone of voice.

stationing my legs on either side of his i bend down to kiss him, pressing my pebbled nipples onto his bare skin, slowly grinding down onto his raging hard on.

his whines only intensify the burning seer of his skin touching mine. my hand follows in suit with my hips feeling every last vein of his dick through his boxers. “a-ah!” matt whines due to me pressing my finger into his slit.

pushing his boxers down his dick springs out slapping against his happy trail. “please please please y/n please.”

“please what, pretty boy?” i mock feeling the surge of power flow through me.

“please fuck me,” he whimpered out. for such a bad boy exterior, he sure doesn’t act like it now.

without waiting another second for him to say something else i sink down onto his throbbing dick feeling him fill me up so well. “mhhm, matty you feel so good.”

“ugh, only for you b-baby.” matt’s barely keeping it together, while i bounce up and down on his cock. speeding up every second. i begin to grind onto his pelvis as i slam down onto him with his body slightly grazing my clit in the best way possible.

“matty, im a-about to c-cum. do it with me.” his hands sneak onto my love handles as i lean up against him again, he attaches his mouth to my nipple that was dangling in front of him. his hips snap up and down, pushing insanely deep inside me. “m-matt!” a loud pornographic moan comes out of my mouth feeling the knot in my stomach break, feeling a huge relief. he follows soon after letting out a guttural grunt.

i roll down beside him, both of our deep breaths fill the room. “fuck, oh my god.” i breathed out, heaving my chest. i turn to face him, putting my hand against his chest and my head onto the arm that was stretched out near me. my curtains move and sway with the blow of my fan as i see a shadow fall off of my window, it must've just been an animal.

“i don’t think i can walk,” i confess feeling him look over to me. my hand travels to feel his scruff that he’s been growing out the past few weeks, it’s never gotten that long but it’s still very apparent. “hmm, lemme take care of you okay? we can even get mcdonald’s, im fine driving out to the further one if you're scared of people to see us.” he combs his hand through my hair, tugging a little relieving some heat and pressure my head has collected.

he pushes himself up and goes to the bathroom, turning on the shower and coming back to retrieve me.

-

this whole day it felt like people were staring at me left and right, i haven’t even been in the building for more than 20 minutes and i’ve had three people quickly lose eye contact with me when they were the one staring first.

i haven’t matt yet but i was really hoping we would be able to meet up at our usual spot, im snapped out of my trances feeling someone's hand on my shoulder squeezing it a little. i jump a little whipping my head towards the rest of the hands body, thank goodness it’s just nick. “babes, we gotta talk.” he said in a monotone voice, “why what’s up?”

“just give me a second, stop moving.” i listen to him and stop in my tracks seeing nothing wrong with today but the staring. “okay now what happened last night,” nick said now holding me down with both hands.

“well if you must know, my parents are out of town, like you knew and i stayed home studying before going out for mcdonald’s.” the lie slipped out from my mouth with ease hoping to keep matt and my secret a secret for a little longer.

“okay then maybe it isnt that serious…” nick trailed off, his shoulders were very visibly tense, not letting off since he caught up to me. “what are you talking about? but come on lemme at least go to my locker.” he reluctantly let’s go knowing i’m stronger than him.

“y/n wait– just know i have no clue if its true or if it's even you.” he says following in suit with me. “nick, still no clue what you are talking about.” my locker lock clicks a few times before i'm able to get it open.

a large barrage of papers fall out of my locker all having the same image pasted on them. my mouth drops open as i turn my head to nick. he picks one up from the top of my locker, unfolding it and making a sour face to it. “what? what is it?”

he slowly hands it to me, folding it back up before i get ahold of it.

my heart dropped.

it was a grainy picture of me riding matt last night, his hands on my hips and my face looking at him with pure lust. it was taken through my window and luckily you couldn’t see much of matt’s face and next to none of mine. but people knew, everyone knew it was me.

picking up a few other copies, some of them have the words slut and whore written on them in large words. if they printed a picture it must’ve been everywhere online, i cannot stand being here another minute.

stuffing a couple copies into my bag i storm out of the building feeling tears stinging my eyes, y/n how could you let this happen? what’s going to happen when harvard finds out about this? there goes your life, your friends, your boyfriend and your future. quadruple kill.

i sit in my car and just drive, drive to the only place that’ll bring me any kind of peace at this time. it was only a 3 minute drive from the school to the large forest that surrounded the school. i parked my car on the slightly wet gravel, hearing the crunch of the rocks beneath the tires.

i walked and walked till the trees seemed to clear a bit, the grass was wet and squished under my shoes. brunette hair peaks from behind a tree, it was like the picture was being painted in front of me this whole time. matt came here too, he came to where we met the first time.

he stumbled into the forest after getting chased by a couple of guys once he tried to start a fight.

something brushed by the bushes alerting me, a boy in an oversized hoodie over his stained red white tee. jeans scuffed and a little dirty as he flops down on the grass in front of me. i can hear him panting as his chest rose and fell with deep breaths.

he tilts his head to finally see me, i still sit there frozen with my book in hand slowly reaching for my keys being cautious incase he tries to go for me next. “i see, you know. im not gonna hurt you. i would never hit a girl.” his words are slow and very unconvincing. “do you talk? he asked, glancing at me again. he finally sat up and came closer to me, my hand clutches the house keys even harder as he steps plop in front of me.

his body collides with the tree as he sits next to me, his sweet and salty cologne fills my senses, feeling it cloud my thoughts. he takes the book from my hands and closes it looking around at it.

“everything has changed by cynthia atlan, we crave love so much we would trade anything for it, including ourselves. caleb and cam grew up together, had their first kiss together but still haven’t thought about getting together. when highschool life takes a horrible turn the two become separated and distant, caleb doesn’t wanna let cam go but life takes turns and loops. how are they able to navigate hormones, relationships and life? sounds like a hoot.” his sarcastic voice says otherwise.

“this caleb guy doesn’t sound like he really deserved her huh…” he flips through the pages quickly glancing at a couple words per page.

“well, i guess i should go, but i’ll see you around here i hope.” his smile beamed brightly as he pushed himself up and looked back at me.

“hm, maybe” it comes out almost as a whisper. his face lights up as he takes my words as an accomplishment. “yeah, i’ll see you around here, tomorrow.”

he never gave me my book back before he left and i didn’t even realise it. i guess that’s one way to make me come back

“matt?” i get out between choked sobs. i didn’t even need to see his red eyes and face to tell he’s also been crying.

he peered over to where i was looking up and down before attempting to wipe away his tears and sadness. i didn’t think twice before joining him.

his brown hair is tousled by him running his hand through it many times and his tear stained eyes tell more than what he wished.

“y/n i-i’m so s-sorry.” his tears spilt once more making any effort of wiping them away futile. he wrapped his arms around something and hugged it tight. it was my book he stole from me when we first met. “i’m so so so fucking sorry i’m such an idiot.”

“matt, please it wasn’t your fault. but i am terrified, i don’t want to ever go back to school.” my voice cracks while trying to get through that sentence. matt doesn’t even utter another word before he tugs me into him, straddling him as he wraps his arms around me in a tight hug.

“i’m so sorry y/n, i didn’t wanna face anyone after i left. when i walked in everyone was applauding and people shook my hand, i had no clue why until chris and nick texted me about it.”

his pure sincerity makes me suffocate him a little more not wanting anyone else around but him. he puts a hand around my cheek guiding it to him to kiss, i get a good look of his equally dishevelled face.

“we are so fucked.” i giggle a little thinking about how much a shit show this will be when we get back.

“is this what they mean in everything has changed that high school life would take a bad turn? because i’m happy to go through it if it means we get our happy ending. you’re my end, end game.”

“yes matt, this is everything. we are the happy ending. we are end game” my quivering lips connect with his.

[onlyhaos]

I need the longer version of it please I think you know what I'm talking about I'm begging you 🙏🏻😭

this is pt. 2 from this fic!!

pairing: seungcheol x afab!reader

genre: angst, fluff

warnings: small mention about alcohol, the day after the fight

[a/n] It’s crappy and def not proofread (😭😭) I’m so sorry, but here you go!! (And thank you, you’re my first ask🥹🥹💞)

You wake up, not feeling relaxed at all.

Your head was still buzzing, just worse than last night. You let your head fall down again, but your head fell into a.. pillow?

Looking around the room, you noticed that you weren’t on the couch or in the living room anymore. You were in your bedroom, under your familiar sheets.

With a swift movement of your head, you immediately looked to your left, in hope for Seungcheol to be in bed.

But he wasn’t.

Memories of yesterday evening and night crossed your mind again.

Closing your eyes and turning your face into a soft frown, you began to bury your head into your hands.

Confusion about how you got into your bed quickly disappeared, because you were telling yourself that you probably went to bed, and you’re just not able to recall it.

Wanting to pick up your phone, you realized that it wasn’t on the nightstand.

So you got out of bed, putting on your slippers and going to the living room to get it. Until there laid a well-known someone.

“Cheol..?”

No response. Was he still sleeping? You tip toed closer to the couch, seeing your boyfriend’s eyes closed. His beautiful lips slightly parted as his breathing was a steady rhythm.

Quickly grabbing your phone, you went back to your shared bedroom. Leaving Seungcheol, still sleeping, on the couch.

You cuddled back into the sheets, fishing for the charger, that was always under your pillow whenever you didn’t load it. And when you began loading your phone, your lock screen lit up.

There was the message that you didn’t get, anymore, after you fell asleep.

Cheollie 🎀🍒

[…]

I love you, Y/n.

That last sentence was all you focused on, and also the sentence that quickly brought tears to your eyes again.

Opening your message app, you read the rest.

Cheollie 🎀🍒

I'll be back tomorrow, when we're both a bit more composed. We'll talk about every single thing, that made us come to thinking that breaking up would be a good idea.

Because I won't and I don't want to let you go that easily.

Tomorrow we'll decide how things will be in the future. If we'll still have one.

I love you, Y/n.

More tears stumbled out of your eyes. And before you could even notice, you began to sob.

Which, eventually, woke up Seungcheol. You didn’t know he woke up, though.

But when you heard the bedroom door opening you found out.

“Cheol.” You sobbed out, not able to keep it in anymore.

And your boyfriend couldn’t see that sad face of yours, so he went over to the bed and pulled you into a much needed hug.

Not able to stop the crying, you buried your face into his chest.

“I missed you — I shouldn’t have said that. I just felt so lost at that moment and didn’t think properly.”

That’s what you originally said, but it only came out in slurs and gasps for air, from crying that much.

Seungcheol quickly shushed you.

“Be quiet, baby, just cry it all out. We’ll properly talk after that.” He comforted, kissing your forehead.

Soft strokes through your hair, and on your cheek, calmed you down. Only the smallest tears escaping you, as your eyes met his.

“Y/n, love, I never want to see you like this. Especially not when I see that our fights end with you blacked out on the couch from my whiskey.”

He spoke, the smallest smile on his lips, as he wiped away any remaining tears.

With a small sniffle, you smiled, too.

“How are you feeling, baby?” Seungcheol asked you.

Looking into his eyes, you mumbled, “My head’s buzzing. I think I’ve got a hangover.”

Seungcheol recommended making you a soup, to feel better and more comfortable. To which you agreed, almost immediately.

So when your boyfriend made you sit on one of the stools in your kitchen, he prepared your favorite soup as hangover soup.

Talking about all the things from yesterday and clearing any misunderstandings, finding solutions for possible next times, both of you still shed a tear.

But that was nothing that a hug couldn’t fix now.

With a full stomach from eating your favorite soup, Seungcheol and you now had the time to comfortably cuddle on the couch.

With a random movie playing in the background. (Which obviously was ignored) You both made up for the time, that was not able to be shared yesterday.

“I love you, Cheol.”

“I love you, too, baby.” Was his response, smothering you with loving kisses.

[stayandot8]

Heart and Seoul

Genre: tooth-aching fluff

Relationship type: married nonidol!Chan x fem reader

Important Contents: thank you the request friend :) I immediately got an idea when you sent this to me and I'm sorry it took so long to write. I hope you like it.

request can be seen here.

WC: 1.8k

masterlist

Hubby: Guess what I got???

A picture arrived a second later of three plane tickets, all with the same destination: Seoul, South Korea. A flash of shock hit me and my fingers worked faster than my brain could process. 

“Isn’t it awesome?! My parents helped pay for them so don’t worry, I didn’t spend too much money. Well, not yet anyways. I’m going to buy a snow suit for Celeste because she’s never seen snow before and she’ll want to play in it because if she’s anything like me but that’s beside the point!” Chris was so excited and when he was excited, he rambled about everything and anything. A change that occurred after he became a dad, but a welcome one at that. Getting him to share his feelings wasn’t too too hard when I came along, but ever since his daughter was born, he was a babbling mess. A good change, really. After five years, he’d really mellowed out with her safety. She had too many clothes to begin with with the overexcitement of her arrival from her uncles, but now she was down to only a few new outfits a week, and now he at least acted like he was thinking about it when he changed his mind from a ‘no’ to a ‘yes’. He couldn’t deny his little girl anything. 

“Chris, she has snow clothes. Her grandmother bought some for her the last time we went to Korea in the winter just in case it snowed, which she’s still upset about.”

“I know, the weather app is stupid, they never know anything.”

“Chris! She has enough clothes! We’re going to have to give her our master closet if you keep buying her more things!” He was quiet to this, like he was actually thinking about the logistics of it. “Babe, she’s not getting our closet.”

“I know!”

“You were thinking about it though.”

“...Maybe. Then I was thinking about everything else I could buy her with all that room.”

“Chris…” I said warningly. 

“I’m done, I’m done. She’s not getting our closet.”

“Good.”

“But she is getting a snow suit. Okay, love you, bye!” I clutched my phone as he hung up, shaking my head and wondering where in the world he was going to put one more thing she didn’t need. It wasn’t like he was buying nonsense, it was just that he couldn’t tell her no if she really wanted something. He was a good dad like that. 

Me: Christmas with the uncles sounds good :) 

Hubby: Start packing. We leave in three days :) 

Me: Won’t mom be upset we won’t be in Sydney for the holiday?

Hubby: My mom will be fine, she’s used to holidays without me. 

Me: Don’t remind me 

Hubby: It’s yours we have to worry about. 

It was true, I was worried that my mother would be upset about a holiday without her grandchild. She loved them more than anything, cherished her truly. The more I thought about it, the worse I felt about it. 

Hubby: We’ll tell her together. We’re adults now, we can choose to spend the holidays wherever we like. 

Always reading my mind, my husband. 

The front door opened and shut, letting in the Sydney breeze along with it and a head of dark hair waltzed right in. Heading straight for the fridge, she reached for a small bag of apple slices just out of her reach. 

“Mommy!”

“Yes, baby, do you need some help?” I was already off my stool at the kitchen island and heading towards her. 

“Yes please!” She turned her shining eyes towards me, just as warm and comforting as her father’s. Her smile pushed her round cheeks upwards toward her eyes, just like his. Chan said she had my nose and he was more thankful for that than anything. He hated his nose. 

She was still reaching for the bag, knocking a bottle of water to the floor. “Whoops! I’ll get it Mommy.”

“Oh thank you Cece, that was very helpful of you.” She loved hearing these things, loved hearing how she helped someone. Anyone. More of her father’s features shining through, she just loved to help in any way she could. I opened the bag and handed it to her. “There you go, baby .Do you want to watch some TV before your grandmas and grandpas come over for dinner?” 

Once in a while, all the grandparents came over for dinner to spend time with the three of us. They wanted to see their Cece before all the holiday craziness came and they had to get busy with everything else that came with the holidays. 

With the house smelling like grilled meat and rice, the doorbell rang like chimes in the wind, a touch from Chris when we bought the house. Cece ran to the door, yelling “I got it, I got it!” She opened the door to both sets of grandparents flinging their arms wide open at the sight of her at the door, her red sparkly dress swinging as she lept for them. They hugged her, bags swinging from their arms as all four of them came around her. 

I was luckier than most with my in-laws. They had welcomed me with the most open of arms into their family and made me feel like a part of the family, like they had always been there just waiting for me. My parents got along with them, his mother bonding with mine over their love of plants and house decor. Our fathers got along with sports, the only issue ever being who was paying for the wedding (they both wanted to pay for it). They loved me and I loved them. I knew this situation wasn’t common, so I cherished it whenever they all came together. 

“Cece, are you going to let them come in?” I laughed while they hugged her, knowing they wouldn't let go until she did. 

“Oh, it’s fine, she’s fine.” Chris’s mom said while the others were putting their belongings in the hall closet. She picked up her favorite grandchild and held her until she arrived in the living room with all her toys neatly stacked. Celeste had a habit that she picked up from her father of finding joy in organization. It had to come from him because it definitely did not come from me.

As the other grandparents gathered around Cece on the floor, my dad followed me out the back door to find Chris hard at work grilling. They hugged and we watched Chris grill. 

“How’s the producing business, Chris?” Neither took their eyes off the meat.

“It’s good! Keeps me busy, but I get to meet celebrities so it has it’s perks. And the company is still good with letting me off for time with Cece. So I can’t complain.”

“That’s because you still work on your days off. I still haven’t been able to stop him.”

I sighed and gave Chan’s back a reproachful look. My dad chuckled. 

“Honey, you haven’t been able to stop him from working since you started dating. Remember Valentine’s Day a couple years ago?”

“Hey!” Chan finally turned around, mouth open in mock shock. “You said you were okay! You know how hard it was to get Tiger JK to actually sit down and work with me.”

“I do! And I’m still proud you managed to get it done in time.” I smiled and took his free hand that wasn’t holding a giant pair of tongs. “That doesn’t mean I can’t be a little salty that you had to miss our second Valentines together.” His eyes squinted. 

“And have I made it up to you every year since?” He cocked his eyebrow. 

“I need a beer! Anybody else?” My dad quickly jumped up to head back inside for said refreshment. I shot Chan a smirk. 

“Was that necessary?”

“Hey, he could’ve done the math. Cece was born in November.” I rolled my eyes. His tone suddenly got serious. “Do you want to tell them now or after we eat?”

“After. Let them enjoy their time with her now.”

*

“You what?!”

The plates were cleared, Cece was passed out on the couch watching her favorite show, and the news had just come out. My mother, ever the drama queen, was fanning herself from the news. My father was helping her, if only to save himself the pain of a scolding from her later. 

“Well, they’re adults now, honey. They can do what they like.”

“But they’re taking her for the holidays too, Richard. Did you think about that?”

“Yes I did. They’ll be fine, they’ll be back afterwards.”

“And besides,” Chan’s mom interjected. “You can spend it with us! We can get wine-drunk and celebrate Christmas ourselves without the kids.”

Chris grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers. My mother just watched us smile at each other. 

“We miss Korea, mom. And Christmas is such a wonderful time of year, I just think this year we want to spend it differently. We’ll pick you up some of your favorite face cream while we’re there, too.”

“So the trip won’t be a total waste for you!” Chris tried to placate her, but her face remained unchanged. “Alright Mom, what about this: when we get back, you guys can have Celeste for a whole weekend, just her and you.” She perked up at that.

“Friday to Monday?”

“You can even bring her back Monday night.” Chris, ever the diplomat. A rush of pride went through me. My mom thought about it for a moment. 

“Deal.” 

Chris’s dad piped in.

“What about us?!”

*

Celeste did really well for her first plane ride. We arrived at the Incheon Airport around noon, but we didn’t know what awaited us outside until we stepped outside to our car waiting to take us to our hotel. Driven by Hyunjin with a passenger seat occupied by Felix, they waved us over before climbing out of the car to fling their arms open for Celeste, who stopped halfway to them, noticing the white fluff all around. 

“Daddy, what’s that?” she asked, her voice dripping in wonder. Her eyes shining with pure curiosity, she ignored her uncle’s waiting arms to hold her arms out to catch the falling flakes. They disappeared as quickly as they had landed in her hand, but that didn’t stop her from trying to catch all of the snowflakes in her immediate vicinity. She jumped and reached, trying to reach the clouds they were falling from. This insanely cute action was met with laughter from all angles, and before she knew it, she was hoisted into the air by her uncle to get a closer look. 

Chris and I stood by and let them catch up and enjoy the cold.

“She’s so cute. She takes after you, you know.” I placed a hand on my stomach. 

“I dunno. Maybe this one will be just as cute.”

[lixiektty]

꒰ঌ cupid's cams : choi yeonjun ໒꒱ — prev ▸ next

word count: 2.5k, warnings/kinks: camboy!yeonjun, dom!yeonjun, sub!reader, language, unprotected sex, clit stimulation, praise, degradation, daddy kink, creampie, thigh slapping, dumbification, recording content for yj's OF, pls feel free to let me know if i missed anything!!

taglist: @hyynee, @enha-cafe, @xiaoderrrr, @lethallyprotected

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ cupid's cams masterlist

yeonjun knew sex like he knew the back of his hand. he was so good at it, too good that you began wondering about his experience. it didn't bother you that yeonjun seemed to know more than you did, it could just get uncomfortable when you tried taking the lead.

you were on the bed, playing games on yeonjun's phone as he cleaned the kitchen up and showered. having that trust always made you happy, even if all you did was help him with his daily quests on each game he had downloaded. you were having fun, until a notification popped up—someone replying to a tweet yeonjun posted. you didn't even think he had twitter.

'so hot 😍' it read.

your blood boiled, skin turning hot. jealousy. who could possibly be commenting on his posts? what did he post to receive such a comment? you felt guilty pressing on it but that didn't stop you. the twitter app opened, and you were met with the exact comment you saw that got you here under yeonjun's tweet.

'new vids up! subscribe for better content 😉💦' with a picture of his cock laying against his stomach.

it just didn't make sense. all this time yeonjun was basically a pornstar and you had no idea about it—and you knew for a fact that was your boyfriend's body, you've seen it way too much and know it all too well.

"alright, finally done babe. what're we watchin'?" yeonjun asked, entering the room with a big smile.

your expression didn't match though, you had tears swelling in your eyes when you looked up at him, cheeks burning with your hands shaking trying to hold the phone.

"baby?" yeonjun called out to you, noticing your discomfort.

"yeonju—un," you start, voice shaky and mind filled with everything but answers, answers you needed, "are you... selling yourself online?"

"give me that," yeonjun said, arm stretching to snatch the phone from your hands.

he looks down to see what you had come across, his heart falling straight to his ass. it wasn't that he didn't want to tell you, he just didn't know how to bring it up without possibily blowing things up.

"i do live streams once a week where i... you know... and people pay to see that," he admits, "and on my days off i post onlyfans content."

"when did you plan on telling me?" you asked, voice going out slightly.

"someday... it just wasn't easy," yeonjun says, coming to sit beside you on the bed. he looked down talking about the situation and that only hurt you more, "i been doing this for nearly three years and it ruined my last relationship, so i stayed single for a while and slept around."

a part of you had sympathy for him, even after being angry that he kept this from you for so long and possibly longer if you hadn't found out tonight.

"i just didn't want you to feel weirded out and make me quit or worse, leave me," he adds on. he sounded genuine and your heart broke at the fact that yeonjun didn't trust you because of his past.

"what makes you think me out of all people would judge you? i'm nothing like your past girlfriends, yeonjun. i know you, i trust you." you responded, reassuringly. you give gentle to rub his shoulder in a way of telling him you were no longer mad. of course, you didn't appreciate that he wasn't vocal about the secret occupation, but you understood why he wasn't, "and as long as it's only for the money and you're not secretly having feelings for all the people that give you it," you add.

"never," yeonjun turns his head, big eyes looking at you lovingly, "only you."

"okay," you reply. your worries faded away, leaving your body and turning into sudden need, "let's film something then."

"wai— what?" yeonjun's innocent and loving expression snapped into confusion.

"you need some content, don't you? i can help you out," you suggested, hand moving up and down his arm and perching up onto his shoulder.

his eyes shifted to a darker shade, heart nearly beating out of his chest. he didn't expect that him confessing would go well, especially not this well. everyday he worried about telling you, feared that you'd kick him to the curb and make him feel bad about himself—that fear was no longer present.

"god, you have never seemed hotter than you do right now," yeonjun said before chasing your lips and messily kissing you.

your arms wrap around his neck to pull him down with you on the matress, his limbs tangling with yours once your bodies mesh together. yeonjun didn't waste a single second, dipping his fingers into your shorts immediately and collecting your dripping essence.

a moan slips from your mouth straight into his, the pads of his fingers toying with your clit, teasing you more each time he moved lower with the tips of his fingers slightly entering you.

"fuck, j-jun, need you," you whine, jerking up into his palm.

yeonjun trails kisses along your jawline, down to your neck and collarbone, lips taking in some of your skin to suck roughly. his fingers moved in faster circles against your bud, causing him to feel more eager that his was gently humping your thigh as he grew harder.

you were whining needily, just wanting to feel his cock stretching you open. he sat up, pulling his hand out of your shorts, soon removing them from your body and spreading your legs for him to sit in between.

"so wet already, barely even touched you," he teases. bullshit.

your clit was throbbing in anticipation, hole opening and closing with each deep breath you took. yeonjun was in a hurry trying to get the knot in his sweatpants untied, his struggle being pretty obvious to you.

you sat up, replacing his hands with yours, taking the strings between your fingers and untying them slowly as you looked up at him with big eyes. fuck, if he wasn't already hard enough.

yeonjun bends down to kiss you, chin between his fingers. you were stripping him from his sweats and boxers, his cock sprung up and you were quick to grab ahold. you pumped it gently up and down then slowly falling back until your back hit the mattress, bringing yeonjun with you.

"have i told you how much i love you?" yeonjun breaks from the kiss—his pretty lips all pink and swole.

"many times," you giggle, "but i'd like if you showed me."

yeonjun grins, quick to take your hand off of him, snatch you shirt from you and angle his tip near your entrance. the light stretches from his cock being pushed further into you made your body feel ecstatic and you were clinging onto him in an instant.

no matter how many times yeonjun fucked you, you'd still feel numb with each inch that entered you, surprised from his size but taking it so well.

"daddy's tight little pussy feels so good every time," yeonjun whispers into your ear, leaving a wet kiss behind.

yeonjun draws his hips back, pushing back into you and repeating this until you cry out for more. his fingers meet your clit again as he fucked you slightly faster. you were moaning loud, causing yeonjun's ears to ring—but he didn't even mind, the sounds you made because of his doing was like an ego boost.

this soon reminds him of your suggestion, before you two had even got here in the first place. he was letting his dick think too much for him that he completely forgot your original agreement.

he sits up and takes your hips into his hands to keep you steady once he picked up the pace, making you clench down on his cock tightly.

"lights, camera, action, my love," yeonjun says, picking up his phone and switching to the camera app.

yeonjun clicks the red button, beginning to record the sight, so sinful and messy. he smiles watching your pussy take his cock on his phone that captured it so well.

"fuck baby, look so fucking hot taking my dick like this," he says. you'd think it was all talk for the camera if wasn't for how he already acted during your times alone.

he was filthy, loved expressing how he was feeling and giving you a verbal visualization of what he could see at the moment. to see you like this as he records, knowing he'd get to keep it for himself gave him—this new rush of adrenaline and he's soon pounding into your dripping cunt, unholy noises echoing off the four walls surrounding you.

your hands scrambled any and everywhere to find something to claw onto, finding yeonjun's waist and sinking your nails deep. yeonjun let out a gasp, strangely enjoying this newfound pain that didn't necessarily hurt—it felt good. really fucking good.

"oh, baby," he moans breathlessly.

you couldn't see him due to your eyes being snapped shut and you could just barely open them, but you knew he looked good. sweaty and strong as he fucked you into bliss.

"har—harder," you sigh, both your hands now clawing at his abdomen.

you sounded so cute when you'd beg, felt even better when he knew you wanted to be more verbal for the sake of the content—loud and uncontrollable moans even louder now that you were being filmed.

yeonjun slid his thighs from under your to further get comfortable and fuck you properly. you were now lying flat against the mattress, thighs spread and his fingers on your sensitive bud. he pulled his hips back, slamming back into you repeatedly, "such a slut for daddy, aren't you?"

"mhm—" you hum in response, yelping when yeonjun slaps your inner thigh.

"words." he warns through his teeth.

"yes, daddy," you moan, hips jerking up to feel more friction.

yeonjun being mean to you did something to you that you couldn't explain, it was hard to in words. he was already hot, but he was so much hotter when speaking to you like that—making you feel so guilty for being a slut, something he turned you into.

not a day went by where you didn't think about his bare skin on display for you as he's drilling into you with his fat cock, reaching every spot inside you as possible.

you both admired each other with no clothes on, that's why most of the time they were off. something about your tits pressed against his chest, close in all ways gave him joy because he knew he only got this. this made him cocky, treating your body like no other and knowing he's the only one that can feel you this way.

yeonjun didn't try to hold back any longer, going from low grunts to even louder groans. he was destroying you in the best way possible, not even just because you were being recorded, but because you most definitely deserved it. he has never had someone like you, someone so supportive and loving, making him feel like the only man in the world and fucking him good while doing so.

his followers were infact aware of his relationship status, but he kept that part of himself private. he only ever posted and talked about himself, never hooked up with someone else only for onlyfans content before you two got together. even now, he felt like he was taking away some of your privacy because he genuinely did keep you secret for the most part.

yeonjun could feel himself repeatedly twitch inside you, warm walls feeling incredible sucking him in and dripping more by the second. you felt brain dead, drooling from the mouth and high-pitched moans escaping your throat.

the room was hot, you weren't sure if it was just your skin or it was the mixture of sweaty bodies and hot breaths that caused the room to warm up how it did.

you could feel that knot in your stomach grow tighter and tighter, you were a moaning mess, babbling some incoherent things but yeonjun knew that meant you were enjoying it because you were turning stupid.

"dumb little slut, so hungry for me," yeonjun says, a whimper falling from his mouth when you clench again. he was plowing into like he'd be the last time, you just felt even better than you have before that it was driving yeonjun insane, "shit, i'm gonna cum—want it, baby?"

"so, s—s bad, p-please fill me up daddy," you struggle to say, which pushed him further—he appreciated your manners even when you could barely talk.

he grins, only something you could see, with his hand all over you to touch every inch of your torso as possible. his other hand was gripping tightly on his phone where he watch the scene rip before his eyes. your breasts bounced with each aggressive thrust he sent into you.

"daddy—" you whine, your brain was so fuzzy that his name was the only thing that came to mind along with swears falling from your mouth.

yeonjun grunted, louder and louder until he got to his high. so very close and he just wanted to feel you full of his cum, belly bulging from the amount he was soon to let out. his size already doing that and the camera catching it so well.

"so fucking sexy," yeonjun slurred his words, grabbing the back of one of your thighs and pushing your knee to your chest.

you felt him twitch again, thrusts get sloppy. he circled his hips and hit your g-spot roughly, cursing a few more times and then painting your velvet walls.

"oh my god—" you cry out, hands going down to stop him from moving further but he just kept the same pace.

you came in an instant, the fullness yeonjun was providing you overwhelming you. the sounds he made too—he sounded so god damn good.

"mhm, cum baby~" yeonjun cooed, "just like that, such a good whore for your junnie."

you lost track of your breathing, not knowing how to do a thing. he fucked you dumb daily, yet this was different—the fact that he had a camera on you capturing it all for anyone to watch but at the end of the day, you were only his, and he treated your body with such care even when being rough.

yeonjun catches his breath, turning off his phone and throwing it to the side. he leans down and kisses you, your arms and legs wrapping around his long stature.

"you... are so fucking amazing," yeonjun praises, kissing your nose, "i'll be more honest from now on, like i have something else to confess..." it scared you because, what else could he be hiding? your anxiety drifted away once you saw that beautiful smile of his play along his face, "that was probably the best sex we've ever had," he admits.

"glad we think alike, choi," you smile, pecking his nose as he did to you and soon his pouty lips. it was gentle but messy, having the urge to clench on his cock that had begun softening.

"are you leading me on so i'll fuck you again, hm?" he tilted his head slightly, dark gaze burning a hole through you.

"not that i'm asking for it," you trail on, trying to look away and hide your smile and light teasing you were so obviously doing to him.

yeonjun grew hard again from your clenching, thrusting up into you and grabbing your body until it was pressed against his, arm wrapped tightly around your waist, "oh you're asking for it."

[thezombieprostitute]

Good moaning. 😇

A/N: Sorry this took awhile @navybrat817. The muses weren't working with me.

A/N2: Reader is AFAB, Tall & Plus Size; Ended up working through a lot of my own insecurities on this one. Left it open ended because it's a lot longer than it should've been. It was supposed to be open ended but then Hal insisted on showing off.

Part 2

Word Count: ~1.2k

Warnings: Insecure reader. Please let me know if I missed any.

Hal had always been the most notorious flirt in the office. Every woman had been complimented, flirted with, made to blush by him. Except you. When it came to you, Hal was all business. Maybe some friendly gestures, but that was it.

You should be used to it by now. You'll never forget in high school when your crush said, "I just never thought of you as a girl. I don't think of you as guy," he was quick to say, "but I just don't think of you as a girl." And it seems to have been the same for every guy, every crush, ever since.

Dating apps only seemed to make things worse. You'd be really getting along with someone, they'd talk about how personality is more important, but as soon as they actually saw you, their demeanor shifted. They always just wanted to be friends. You were pretty sure spinsterhood was your only option. Especially if even the Hal Carter wasn't willing to flirt with you.

"You should be grateful," some of your friends would chide you. "You don't have to worry about being harassed or assaulted." And you were grateful that those weren't concerns for you. But you weren't bemoaning a lack of problems, you were bemoaning an abundance of loneliness.

"Hey, Y/N," Hal's voice snapped you out of your self-pity party.

"Yes, Hal?"

"Do you have the specs for that Potts order? I need to double check a few things."

"Sure thing," you nod as you go to the filing cabinet. You find the paperwork he needs and hand it to him.

"Are you alright," he asks.

"No different than usual. Why?"

"You just...you seem...um. How do I put this?"

"Hal, please just tell me I look miserable and get back to work? I'm not in the mood for beating around the bush. I'm painfully well aware of how I look." You're struggling to keep the tears at bay and just want him to leave you be.

"Is there anything I can do? I hate to see you like this."

"No, Hal, there's nothing you, personally, can do. I'm just having a self-pity party after yet another bad date and I need to be left alone."

"You're dating?" His face is filled with genuine surprise and it's the straw that breaks you. You stop fighting the tears and just run to the bathroom to let it all out in private.

By the time you're done crying you're exhausted. You should get back to work but you just can't fathom spending more time around people. You get back to your desk, send a note to your boss and head home early. You're just gonna let yourself cry and sleep it out.

When you get to work the next day there's a bouquet of blue hyacinth and white lily-of-the-valley flowers. The card had a simple "I'm sorry" card signed by Hal. You really should apologize to him, it wasn't his fault. It was just really shitty timing. Still, you appreciate the flowers. You can't remember the last time anyone got you any.

You get into the flow of work, catching up on things you missed yesterday, so you don't notice Hal slowly making his way to your desk, like he's afraid you'll lash out. When you finally look up and see him, you give him a soft smile and he takes that as an okay signal to close the distance to your desk.

"Thank you for the flowers, Hal," you start. "You really didn't need to. You did nothing wrong."

"I ask you a question and you leave crying," Hal huffs. "Pretty sure that means I did something wrong."

"Believe me, Hal, if it was something you did, I'd have told you." You shake your head, "it's just me being overly sensitive. And I'm sorry I worried you or made you feel it was your fault. You don't deserve that."

"So, you're single and looking," Hal slowly says.

"For now," you sigh. "Seriously contemplating giving up but I just can never bring myself to ever fully give up hope. No matter how many times I get hurt."

"Maybe it's your technique," he offers. "If you need help with your flirting, just let me know. I can teach you a few things."

Against your better judgment you open up the dating app and the messages you shared from the last guy you met for a date. You show them to Hal and tell him how you could've done better.

"Huh, you're a smart cookie," he says. "Talking to this guy about smart stuff that definitely goes over my head. Why didn't he work out?"

Trying not to lose patience, he is just trying to help, you calmly tell him, "because he saw me. That's how it always goes, Hal. I'm not pretty enough. I don't fit into any of the molds that define 'attractive'. I never hide my build, my picture, but there must be quite the difference between photos and real life."

"Sounds like your problem is that you keeping attracting douchebags," Hal observed. "Just need to find yourself a good man."

"If it were that easy, I wouldn't be so lonely."

"You don't think I'm a good man?" He seems genuinely upset by this thought.

"Hal, please be careful because I don't want to cry at work again," you start. "Regardless of whether or not you're a good guy, you've never once expressed interest in me, so why would it matter if you were a douchebag or not?"

"This is definitely my fuck up," he sighs. "I was trying to be respectful of you. I was trying to treat you differently to show I think about you differently."

"Yes," you agree. "That came through loud and clear. You want to be workplace friends at most. I understand that. It's not a fuck up."

"No, not like that," Hal counters. "I...I flirt with everyone but you because I didn't want you to think I thought of you as just another pretty face. I kept it professional with you so you would know that I am respectful of you as a person. That I appreciate working with you and don't want us to get separated because the boss thinks I'm doing more flirting than working."

"I don't want your pity, Hal," you scold him. "If you're not interested, you're not interested. I don't blame you! But a pity flirt? That's hurtful."

Instead of backing down, Hal puts both hands on your desk and leans closer towards you, neither of you breaking eye contact. Your eyes are filled with a simmering anger and his beautiful blues are steely with determination. "I will prove to you, however I need to, that my feelings and intentions are genuine."

"I need to get back to work," you reply with ice in your voice.

"Challenge accepted, Dandelion," Hal smirks before leaving you to your work.

Part 2

Tagging @alicedopey and @icefrozendeadlyqueen because I promised I would

[lucy90712]

Road to recovery- part 8

Masterlist

Part of me was hoping that the hate would slow down a bit but of course it didn't. Every time I checked any form of social media all I saw was people posting about how much they didn't like me and assuming that I'm only friends with Pablo to gain something. I thought I'd be able to handle the comments but I just can't there has been so many more than I thought there would be and people have said such hurtful things about my appearance and my character. Pablo keeps apologising and asking if I'm ok and I just keep telling him I'm fine which is a bit of a lie but I can tell he already feels bad enough I don't want to make him feel worse by telling him how I really feel. The worst part about it is that everyone seems to be drawing attention to the things I was already insecure about which hasn't helped my mental state at all.

Today though I have a chance to cheer myself up a bit as I have a big check up with my doctor to see how my recovery is progressing. I think it's going pretty good so hopefully he agrees and says something positive as that would really lift my spirits. I've been nervous about the appointment today as well which has really made the last few days even more challenging on my mental health but I'm trying to stay positive as I know wallowing in sadness and anxiety won't do me any good. 

Alonso came to pick me up a bit before my appointment; when I got in the car I expected him to tease me about everything that happened with the game this weekend but he didn't instead he asked if I was ok. I was going to lie to him too but because he's my brother he knows exactly when I'm lying so I had to tell him the truth. It was kind of nice to get all of my feelings off my chest and Alonso was really supportive and gave me some good advice. He's been through things like this before with getting hate for his performances out on track so he told me to just delete the apps off my phone for a bit that way I'm not tempted to look at what people are saying. In fact he stole my phone and did it for me as I think he knew I probably wouldn't do it myself. 

Once I had my phone back I went into the hospital on my own leaving Alonso to wait in the car for me. The wait for my appointment wasn't long at all and then I went in and was immediately taken for some new scans to see how everything was healing. After scans I was subjected to a load of tests on my range of movement, how much weight I could put on my leg and how much pain I was in. The testing was rigorous and honestly quite exhausting as it's been a long time since I've done this much movement with my knee but for the most part it felt good. After I had done everything the doctor left for a while to review it all and look at my scans which left me just staring at the wall hoping to hear good news. Just as I was daydreaming the door opened again and the doctor came back in, his expression was impossible to read which for some reason filled me with a few more nerves.

"Ok Lola things aren't progressing as we would like them too internally you aren't healing as quick as we thought you would and your movement isn't at the range we would expect it to be" he said 

"What does that mean?" I asked holding back tears 

"For now it doesn't mean too much this can happen as we can't always accurately predict how quickly people will recover but we will set another one of these appointments in a few weeks and if we aren't seeing improvement you may need a second surgery so that we can see what's going on" the doctor explained 

"Ok" was all I could manage to say 

"I know this isn't what you wanted to hear but don't let it discourage you if you keep working hard you won't need the surgery" he said 

We scheduled my next appointment and that was as long as I could hold it together. All of my emotions that I'd been holding onto for the last few days came out all at once, as soon as I left the hospital doors I burst into tears and I couldn't do anything to stop them. I made my way back to where Alonso parked but before I could get into the car Alonso had got out and wrapped me in his arms. He tried to get me to stop crying and tell him what was wrong but I just couldn't he tried everything to help me all of which had worked before but today nothing could stop me. Eventually he gave up and let me get in the car so we could go home because right now all I want is to just go home and get to grips with my emotions as I clearly have a lot to process. 

As much as my eyes were filled with tears I could tell that Alonso didn't take the turn to take me back to my place which meant he was going to take me somewhere in hopes of cheering me up. I really didn't want to go wherever it was he was planning to go but I was sobbing too much to tell him to take me home. We went a bit further before the car stopped and I looked round a bit as at first I didn't recognise where we were but then I saw Pablo's house and realised we were just down the street. I should've known Alonso was going to bring me here but this is the last place I want to be I don't want Pablo to see me like this. I knew we said we would help each other out but I know for a fact Pablo is doing better and I know he's in a better place mentally and I don't want to ruin that by projecting my problems onto him that wouldn't be fair. 

Alonso had to practically drag me out of the car and down the road which was rather easy for him as I'm not strong enough to put up too much of a fight. We walked down the street to Pablo's house where Alonso left me to ring the doorbell, part of me was hoping that he wouldn't be in even though he said he had no plans today. Of course after just a few seconds the door opened and I locked eyes with Pablo who straight away rushed over as quick as he could and wrapped me up in his arms. I wanted to stop crying but for some reason I only cried more once I was in Pablo's arms it was like he made me feel safe enough to truly let all of my feelings out. Pablo said a few words to my brother before taking me inside and allowing him to leave. 

Pablo took me to the sofa and allowed me to settle into his embrace with my head buried in his chest so he couldn't see my tear stained and probably red and puffy face. His hand was gently stroking my back trying to calm me down while he whispered comforting words in my ears. It wasn't anything special what he was doing but hearing his words and feeling his hands on me did wonders in helping calm my emotions which I didn't have any control over. As my tears began to slow down Pablo kept rubbing my back and he even wiped some of the tears from my face that he could reach as I was still hiding most of my face. I never would've thought he would be so good at comforting me I mean he's always so hyper and full of energy I never imagined that he'd be any good at keeping calm and radiating that onto others but clearly he is. Once I had completely stopped crying and my breathing was getting back to normal Pablo put a hand under my chin and got me to look at him.

"Can you tell me what's wrong I hate seeing you so upset and I want to help" he said 

"The doctor said my knee isn't healing properly and I might need another surgery if things don't get better" I said still sniffling slightly 

"I'm sorry that sounds awful but that's not the only thing on your mind is it" he probed further 

"No that's it" I lied 

"Don't lie to me please just tell me what's wrong I'll do whatever I can to help and I won't judge you you know that" he said 

Damn why doesn't he have to be able to read me like a book.

"Ok I've been getting a lot of hate since we were seen together at the game and it's been getting to me a bit I thought I could handle it as I'm used to criticism but I can't some people are just so mean" I admitted letting a few more tears fall 

"I knew it was getting to you people on social media are assholes because they don't feel the consequences of what they say but none of what they say is true" he said 

"But they keep talking about how I must be using you or how I don't deserve to even be friends with you which that part is kind of true" I rambled 

"No it's not true I can't even imagine what my life would be like without you I love spending time with you just because you aren't famous doesn't mean you don't deserve to be friends with me and despite what they say I know you aren't using me I know you would never do that" he said 

"And before you say anything all of the things they say about your appearance aren't true either you are beautiful inside and out and they are just jealous" he added 

Hearing him say that put a smile on my face. Pablo has never really complimented me before he's told me my outfit was cool a few times but he's never called me beautiful so hearing it made me feel a lot better about myself. He must've noticed that I was finally smiling again as he told me I looked pretty when I smiled which only made my cheeks heat up but luckily my face was already red from crying so Pablo probably wouldn't have noticed. Although I kind of wish he knew how he made me feel because as time goes on it's getting harder and harder to hide my true feelings from him. 

Pablo's POV

The pain in her eyes just shattered my heart. She's been my rock throughout every step of the way so far so to see her breakdown right in front of me really hurt. This whole time she's been the strong one never letting anything get to her but finally it's caught up with her and part of it's my fault because we got seen together at the game and now people are tearing her apart and one person can only handle so much. I feel so awful that I'm part of the reason she's so upset but knowing that I can be there for her and calm her down makes me feel a bit better. When she arrived she was hysterical and her brother told me he couldn't get a word out of her so he wanted me to try so that's what I did. I'm not very good at keeping myself calm at times let alone other people but I tried my best and after a while of just rubbing her back and whispering to her she calmed down. It felt good to be the one to help her because she's done so much for me that anything I can do to even remotely repay that I'll do in a heartbeat.

Hearing the way she criticised herself as well it pained me. She's the most beautiful and kind person I've ever met so to hear her say that she thought she didn't deserve to be friends with me hurt but what hurt more was to see that those horrible people got to her and made her feel insecure in herself. Throughout the time we've known each other I've always wanted to tell her just how beautiful she is but I've refrained as I know once I open the flood gates there's no going back. Once I start complimenting her I'm scared that I'll let my feelings show but today she needed it so I knew I had to take the risk. Seeing the smile that my compliments gave her made the risk feel worth it though as I'd do anything to keep her smiling 24/7.

Looking into her eyes as she smiled and blushed at my words made me feel some type of way. I've felt something for her since we first met and I've kept those feelings repressed until now but I don't know if I can do it any longer. She's just the most perfect girl I've ever met and I don't want to lose her whether that be to another guy or to the fear of what us being friends might mean for her. I have to tell her how I feel in hopes that as long as she feels the same way it gives her a reason to stick around even when things are tough like they are right now. As scary as it is I have to take the risk. 

[hwanghyunjinenthusiast]

Do you think about me?

AN: I was originally going to post a Felix fic for Valentine's Day, but I realised I haven't posted any fics about Seungmin yet, and this was the perfect time. Kill two birds with one stone. I do have a softer Seungmin fic in my drafts, but I chose violence because I don't love myself obviously lol. Happy Valentine's Day!

Synopsis: Seungmin is the guy you told your ex-boyfriend not to worry about. Turns out he had reasons to be concerned after all.

Heads up: Kim Seungmin x Fem! Reader, friends to friends who fuck/potentially lovers , some angst pertaining to Reader's previous relationship with Chris, Seungmin being a menace, dirty talk, hair pulling, mild biting (f. receiving), nipple play (f. receiving), fingering (f. receiving), degradation (f. receiving), mild edging (f. receiving), slight dacryphilia, unprotected piv sex, Seungmin being a bit of a douche and slandering Ex! Chris, Possessive! Seungmin, implied breeding kink (it's not stated outright but, it's definitely there) and creampie.

I will block you if you are minor and have no easily visible indication of your age on your blog if you interact with me in any way.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

"You look terrible," Seungmin comments when you let him into your apartment, making himself at home on your couch.

"Wow, thanks. It's nice to see you too Seungmin and, Happy Valentine's Day," you respond dryly, shutting your door and trying to remember why you let him into your home in the first place. You'd much rather continue to wallow in solitude.

"It's true. Go take a shower and change while I get us some food. You've been moping for long enough, and you need to come back to the land of the living," he says, not missing a beat and opening up a food delivery app as though you'd just go along with him.

"It's been two weeks. I think I reserve the right to still be sad about Chris," you say, your heart clenching uncomfortably at the mention of your ex-boyfriend's name. At least you're not crying anymore. That's progress.

"Sure, but you can't just keep yourself locked up in your apartment forever. Also, shower. Now. We'll talk when you're finished," he says, glancing up at you and leaving you with no room to argue with him. Seungmin always seemed to know just how to get you to listen to whatever he said. It's really aggravating.

"Fine," you sigh in defeat, trudging your way towards your bathroom and choosing to ignore the triumphant smirk you know is on his face right now.

♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤

You try to steady your breath as the warm water from your shower head washes over you. You'd never give him the satisfaction but, Seungmin was right. A shower definitely made you feel significantly better.

When you step out and take a look in the mirror, you're startled by your appearance. You look like a ghost of yourself. You probably looked worse before taking a shower and actually doing some skincare, but you still can't help how caught off guard you are by how unlike yourself you look. However, making yourself feel worse isn't productive.

You opt to start getting dressed after moisturising your skin, throwing on an oversized shirt without a bra and shorts. Pointedly ignoring your reflection this time around, you leave your bathroom feeling better than you have in admittedly a long time.

♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤

"There she is," Seungmin says when you come into view, a genuine smile painting his face. Your mouth waters when the smell of the food he ordered wafts over to you, luring you towards your coffee table where Seungmin spread it all out.

"What did you get?" You ask, settling beside him. Your eyes taking in the various dishes in front of you, saliva pooling in your mouth.

"Comfort foods. Dig in," is all he says in response, grabbing a dish filled with what looks like rice cakes. You don't notice his careful gaze watching you as you grab a few slices of pizza for yourself and eat away, his eyes softening considerably.

A comfortable silence fills the space between the two of you as it always does. You'd be lying if you said you didn't appreciate him being here. Your apartment had been lonely the past few weeks, and having someone here feels... nice.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks quietly, his eyes meeting your surprised ones. Seungmin isn't pushy and invasive usually. You know he's happily drop it if you said no, but talking about it might help, and you know he'd listen. Really listen.

"We just... I think we just wanted different things. I think we're both in different stages of our lives, and it wouldn't have been fair to make the other wait. It was mostly mutual but, it still sucks, you know?" You say softly, swallowing around the lump you can feel building in your throat.

Seungmin pulls you into a hug before you realise what's happening. Strong and supportive and just there. You return his embrace, food forgotten on your table as you try your best not to completely fall apart. It's been so long since someone else has touched you. You close your eyes as you let his warmth and scent wash over you, hands fisting the fabric of his shirt.

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. I just thought it might help," he mutters against your ear, his breath making a shudder involuntarily run down your spine. It takes a moment for you to steady yourself, "No, it's okay. That's the gist of it, really. He'd get a little jealous sometimes too but, it wasn't the biggest problem we had."

"Jealous? Why? You were nothing but loyal to him," he responds, confusion clear as day in his voice.

You could never lie to Seungmin even if you tried.

"He was jealous of you. Of us. The friendship we have," warmth filling your face as the confession spills out of you.

Seungmin pulls back then, his warm, wide eyes meeting yours as his hands rest on your shoulders, "Jealous of me?"

"Yeah, I mean even Jisung always makes jokes about how the two of us are closer than most. I think it got too much for Chris,"

"Jisung's an idiot," he retorts with a roll of his eyes, and you actually laugh. You can't remember the last time anything or anyone managed to get even a chuckle out of you.

"You're not wrong there, but my point still stands. I think you made him feel threatened, in a sense," you say, and an unreadable expression crosses his face. He seemed to be contemplating something.

"Were his feelings unfounded?"

It's your turn to be surprised because Seungmin's question catches you completely off guard.

"What?"

"Did he have a reason to feel threatened?" He asks with so much seriousness that you don't know what to say for a few beats, your mind totally blank. Seungmin is a good friend. You care about him deeply. You also recognise that he's kind, funny, great to banter with and attractive, but you've managed to keep those thoughts mostly to yourself over the years. Or at least you think you have. Maybe Chris caught onto them more than you realised.

"The look on your face is telling me maybe his feelings weren't unwarranted,"

His voice breaks you out of your thoughts. The small, smug uptick of the corners of his lips is both irritating and unnecessarily attractive. "No- I- I would've never done that to Chris."

"I know you wouldn't have, and I think he knew that too, but I think your hesitance to even answer my question is pretty telling," he says, his eyes taking on a knowing gleam.

You flounder with your words once more, denial at the implications Seungmin is making hot on your tongue, but you know you'd be lying.

"I'm flattered, really," he says, far too amused with how flustered you are and privately just relieved to see signs of the old you.

"You're so annoying," you huff, lightly shoving his chest with your hand and rolling your eyes to distract yourself from the tension you feel in the air. It's probably all in your mind anyways.

"Yeah, and you want me," he retorts with a full-blown smirk this time around, his usually warm eyes taking on a more mischievous glint. All you can do is stare at him. Kim Seungmin leaving you speechless at his audacity.

It's made all the more worse because he's not wrong.

Your heart rate picks up considerably when one of his hands moves to cup your jaw, his thumb lightly brushing your bottom lip as he watches the movement intently. He looks like he wants to eat you alive.

"I can't say your feelings aren't reciprocated," he mutters lowly, the drop in his voice making your insides clench around nothing. Embarrassment running through you at how easily he manages to effect you.

"I- huh?" Is all your murky mind can manage to come up with at the moment. Resisting the intrusive thought to just take his thumb in your mouth.

The grin he gives you is mean and condescending, not the typical smile you've come to know and expect from your friend. It only makes the ache so much worse. He let's out an amused, throaty chuckle before speaking, "Do I really have to spell it out for you? I want you too."

Seungmin seems to be trying his utmost to make your heart stop beating in your chest today.

"But, I need to know you're okay with this. Actually okay with this. I would never take advantage of you when you're vulnerable. I care about you too much to do that. If you say no, we can stop right now and pretend this never-"

You cut him off with a kiss to his pretty lips. Pouring years' worth of want and frustration into it, your hands desperately pulling him towards you and swallowing his startled noise. The kiss is messy and uncoordinated, but you can't bring yourself to really care when you finally have him like this.

One of Seungmin's hands weaves its way into your hair, giving it a slight tug and grinning against your lips when you gasp at the sting. Taking the opportunity to lick into your mouth while his other hand runs along your waist, toying with the bottom of your shirt. You barely have a chance to breathe, let alone think with how thoroughly he's kissing you.

Eventually, oxygen does become a necessity, but he doesn't relent. Moving from your likely bruised lips and kissing along your neck, his teeth occasionally grazing the skin there in a way that makes you melt further into him.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to have you like this," he utters against your skin, pressing his teeth a little harder against a weak spot he found during his exploration. His hand ghosting over one of your breasts, stilling the air in your lungs. Between his words and his ministrations, trying to remember how to speak is becoming increasingly more challenging.

"I've wanted you for s-so long too," you breathe, too wound up to care about bearing so much to him at once. Your response seems to shatter whatever fragile resolve Seungmin had because you soon find yourself on your back. His hands impatiently shoving your shirt up as his mouth finds yours once more.

He swallows the mewls you let out against him as his hands touch your breasts for the first time. Giving them experimental squeezes to gauge your reaction. You find yourself arching into him when his fingers toy with your sensitive nipples, a gasp flying from your mouth when he gives them a particularly hard pinch.

"I didn't think you'd be such a masochist," he muses, licking at your throat once more as his fingers and hands toy with your tits to his hearts content. His hardening cock pressing against you through your flimsy shorts.

"I didn't think you'd be such a menace," you fire back, but the breathlessness in your voice dispels any potential venom in your tone. You cry out when he bites down on your neck harder than before. Not enough for it to really hurt, but the little pain it provides is enough to worsen the sticky mess in your panties and, you involuntarily grind yourself against his sweatpants covered cock.

"You have no idea what I'm capable of. This is nothing," you're not sure if that's a promise of things to come or a threat, but either way, you're not complaining. Before you can think to retort, his hot, wet mouth envelopes one of your nipples. Licking and sucking at the sensitive nub in a way that makes your toes curl. All of this is only worsened by one of his hands slowly trailing down your body, fingertips lightly grazing your abdomen until they reach the top of your shorts.

But because Seungmin seems to enjoy seeing you suffer, his hand stills there. Toying with the waistband of your shorts and every brush of his fingers making the ache you've been feeling for what seems like ages more unbearable.

"Seungmin," you whine, thrusting your hips up towards him in search of any sort of relief, your hands tugging on his hair desperately. The pop that rings out when he releases your nipple borders on obscene, his eyes alight with desire and mischief once more.

"Yes?" He asks, sounding far too pleased with himself as his fingertips trace featherlight patterns just above your shorts.

It takes everything in you not to huff in frustration at this incredibly aggravating man, but you have a feeling that would just emboldened him. "Please touch me," you beg barely above a whisper, the throbbing between your thighs currently more of a priority than your ego.

"I am touching you," he retorts, pressing kisses to the tops of both of your breasts to prove his point and snapping the waistband of your shorts against your skin.

You might actually hate him.

"No- I mean, please touch me here," you respond, grabbing his hand and sliding it down the front of your shorts until his fingers brush your more than likely ruined panties.

You can't help the smugness you feel when you see the ever composed and teasing Kim Seungmin falter for once. His lips parting and eyes becoming lidded when his fingers experimentally touch you, taking in just how wet you already are.

The unadulterated want on his face makes him look more attractive somehow. A strangled gasp flies from your lips when his fingers run along your clothed slit, hips twitching into his touch at each brush of his calloused fingers on your swollen clit.

"You're soaked already," he groans against your skin, sweat dotting his forehead and making his hair stick to it as he meets your gaze. His fingers continue to touch and brush and run along you in a way that quickly drives you to madness.

"Seungmin, please. It hurts. I want your fingers inside me please please plea -" your begging is cut off by two of his fingers pushing your panties to the side and sinking into you to the knuckle, his lips finding yours again and leaving your mind spinning.

His fingers stretch you out in a way you haven't felt in some time. Your own not nearly as long and thick as his. Your eyes roll into the back of your skull when he starts moving, curling them inside of you in a way that makes an embarrassing high-pitched keen spill from your lips that's he's more than happy to swallow.

"So fucking wet and tight," he groans, increasing the speed of his fingers when it seems like you've adjusted to the stretch. His fingers quickly finding that spot inside of you that results in your walls gripping his fingers harshly because of fucking course he would. He just had to be good at everything. He opts to continue kissing and licking and nipping at your neck as he fucks you brainless on his fingers. All you can do is lie there and take it, moans and mewls and keens mixed with incoherent words all you're able to offer in return. Your hands moving in a frenzy. Unsure of whether they want to tug on his hair or grip his shirt to steady yourself.

"Are you gonna cum just from my fingers already? Isn't that a little too pathetic, y/n?" He asks against the shell of your ear, the harsh tone of his voice making you gush on his fingers more.

"Oh, you like it when I'm mean. Aren't you a cute, little, brainless slut," he groans, tugging your lobe with his teeth as his thumb presses against your clit. His body keeping you in place as your body bucks against him at the sensation, crying out when he rubs hard circles against the hypersensitive nub.

Your orgasm is so close that you can practically taste it. Sparks building at the base of your spine and spreading throughout your body as Seungmin's fingers, mouth and words push you closer and closer and closer to the edge.

Which is why it hurts all the more when Seungmin abruptly stops and pulls his fingers out from inside of you. Your eyes fly open, and you meet his dark ones, a devilish grin spread across his face as he leans away from you. Sadistic pleasure coursing through his veins as he takes in your dishevelled state.

The tears build in your eyes make his cock throb, "Seungmin, why- why'd you stop? I was close," you ask and the whiney edge to your voice tempts him to sink his cock into you right then and there.

"I'd much rather feel you cum on my dick," is all the answer you receive. Complaints dying on your lips as Seungmin tugs off his shirt impatiently, your hunger eyes taking in his bare torso as he makes quick work of his boxers and sweats as well. Seeing him completely naked infront of you makes you realise just how empty you are, panting like an animal in heat at the sight of his long, flushed cock smearing pre-cum against his tense abdomen.

"Well, what're you waiting for?" He asked with a raised eyebrow like you're a moron. It takes you a moment to catch on to what he means, your own hands tug off your skewed, ruined clothing in record time. Seungmin takes a moment to admire you spread out before him. Thighs parted and, your pussy swollen and leaking with arousal all for him. His cock pulses as he takes it in his hand and slowly runs his tip along your slit, the corners of his mouth lifting up when your hips buck up into him everytime he brushes your clit or teases your entrance like he'll sink in any minute now.

You think he might just make you lose your mind.

"Seungmin, please," you beg so desperately that your voice cracks in the process, but you couldn't care less. Nothing but, the desire to cum or feel him inside of you or, both really, taking over.

"Since my needy slut asked so nicely," he responds, pushing the head of his cock inside of you. Both of you moan at the feeling, Seungmin gritting his teeth as he pushes inch after inch inside of his cock into your tight, hot pussy. His forehead rests against your shoulder when he finally bottoms out, your quiet mewls and his harsh breathing being the only sounds heard in your living room.

Your nails dig into his back when he gradually starts moving, his cock hitting spots inside of you that render you borderline delirious. "You're so fucking ah tight," he rumbles against your throat, grabbing your thigh and angling your leg over his hip in a way that makes him slide impossibly deeper.

"Seungmin, yo-you feel so good. So de-deep," you babble out, a few stray tears falling down your face as he picks up speed, his balls slapping harshly against your ass with each one of his thrusts and his tongue lapping at the sensitive skin of your neck.

"Yeah? Is my little cockslut already going stupid on my cock?" You noticed it earlier but, the possessive edge to his voice makes you clench around his cock harder. All you're able to do in response is whine and moan, nodding your head in an attempt to answer his question.

"Aren't you cute and pathetic," he breathes unsteadily against your skin, groaning at the way your walls try their best to get him to cum. "Didn't take you long to let me fuck you, did it? How long have you fantasised about this?"

Shame intertwined with arousal knots in your gut because he's right. It didn't take him long at all to have you spreading your thighs for him. You're honestly amazed that he can speak coherently right now. Your own cognitive abilities failing you as you try to muster up words to answer him.

One of his hands grips your jaw once more and forces you to meet his intimidating gaze, his cock stilling inside of you completely.

"I asked you a question. I expect an answer," god, the commanding tone in his voice really shouldn't turn you on as much as it does.

"I-I've thought a-about you um like thi-this since we f-first met," you manage to stutter out, trying your hardest to focus with him nestled so deeply inside of you.

"So, it seems like you can speak," he says, resuming his unrelenting fucking into as though it's nothing. You can feel your orgasm building once more, hoping against hope that he'll let you finally cum this time around. You're not sure what you might do if he doesn't.

"That long, huh? You should've said something. I would've happily fucked you dumb on my cock a long time ago. No wonder Chris was jealous," he muses, but hearing Chris's names throws you for a second, surprise colouring your face.

"Oh, come on, y/n. Don't give me that look. We both know that you were thinking about every time he so much as touched you. I bet you touched yourself to thoughts of me too" he whispers into your ear, his hand moving between your bodies until his fingers eventually find your clit. He wastes no time in rubbing fast circles against you, low groans filling your ear as you clench and gush around him.

Even if you could respond, you're not sure what you would say. Seungmin's sheer nerve leaving utterly speechless. Fortunately for you, your orgasm slams into you before your mind can dwell too much on the jarring accuracy of his words. Your hands cling to his broad shoulders for purchase. Your body convulsing harshly underneath his as he continues to fuck you through your mind numbing release.

"Fuck," he moans, lidded eyes taking in your purely blissed out expression and his hands flying to your thighs as he chases his own climax.

"Your pretty pussy is gonna make me cum, baby. Gonna fill you up with my ah cum. Fu-fuck, gonna cum inside you. Make you take it all," he groans deliriously, picking up speed even more all while the obscene sounds of your wetness and skin slapping against skin rings out. "My good girl. My cumslut ah fuck," is the only warning you receive before he stills inside of you to the hilt. Moans and curses spilling from his mouth as his hot, thick cum paints your walls white. His hips jerking against yours from time to time as he rides out his release.

The two of you catch your respective breaths. The sticky mixture of your climaxes slowly leaking out of you but, you're still too hazy and thoroughly rung out to bring yourself to care at the moment. Your fingers playing with the ends of Seungmin's hair as he plants soft kisses against your shoulder and collarbone.

"Hey,"

"Mmhmm?"

"Happy Valentine's Day," if anyone asks, your heart definitely does not stutter in your chest at the smile he gives you after wishing you a happy Valentine's Day. Not at all.

[kenobicoffee]

Lavender Haze (by @kenobicoffee) a josh x reader fic (18+ MDNI)

A/N: It’s taken forever, but it’s here! Yay! Lemme know what I can do to get better, and leave a comment if you liked it!

Word Count: 3k, ~20 min read

Outline: You and Josh are getting high and watching music videos when you both get a little bit too turned on. Passionate making out leads to Josh asking very politely to eat you out while sitting on the couch as he jerks himself off to completion.

Trigger Tags: cussing, drug use (weed), period sex, oral - f receiving, masturbation, praise kink, sub Josh if you squint

Vibe Tags: romantic, eye contact, the FLUFFiest of smut, goofy ahh shenanigans, heavy musician vibes, lots of foreplay (patience is a virtue) theatrekid!Josh, poetry💕

————

“This is officially worse than the blankets,” you said as the soft Tennessee rain pattered away while the last track of an LP faded with a click. Josh sat up from his reclined position on the couch next to you, the warm glow of a lamp forming a halo around his sepia curls.

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean,” he retorted, his buzz accentuating the midwestern drawl. He took another lazy drag of the joint you two had been sharing for the evening, and you shifted to look at him. Your gaze fell on the curve of his profile, and as he exhaled, you wondered for the millionth time what angelic painting he’d fallen out of to bring him here. Just seeing him lie there in the light of the evening made that pit in your stomach travel lower and lower, and you had to look away before your mind wandered too far where it shouldn’t go.

“Oh nothing,” you teased, arms crossed, “Just that I’m always cold at two a.m. when I wake up to find Puck has stolen all my blankets.”

It was this kind of banter that made him feel like home to you, like all of human history and art encapsulated his smile.

“How dare you besmirch the name of Mr. Goodfellow?” His voice had a regal air that might have sounded Shakespearian had his eyes not been half shut. “In this house? Blasphemy!”

“Joshua Michael, you are hogging that joint, and you know it.”

You stretched out your hand as he took one last dramatic pull, making sure to look extra innocent as he exhaled.

“I’m sorry mama,” he grinned, murmuring apologetically. “I’ll be good now, I promise. You want me to put another record on?”

“Absolutely not,” you said, “You’ll scratch it like you did the Bon Iver EP.”

He shrugged amiably and reached for the tv remote, “Guess we’ll do it the old fashioned way then.”

After several slow-motion clicks, he managed to open the Youtube app and a lyric visualizer for a psychedelic pop group began to play. You closed your eyes and breathed in deep, your nervous system beginning to level out for the first time in a week. With a heavy exhale, you started to melt into the cushions.

An arm pushed behind your back and around your midsection, and before you could register, Josh had nestled himself under your arm with his head on your chest. Instinctually you played with his curls, running your nails up the nape of his neck to just below his t-shirt collar. He hummed in approval of your light touch.

Soon, a down-tempo r&b tune was playing, and you felt him pick his head up slightly to look at the screen, “Oh shit, I forgot how incredible this music video is.” Your eyes fluttered open, nearly bothered by the interruption of your meditative state.

Colors and bodies flashed in and out of frame, and the characters leaned closer and closer till they were nearly on top of each other. They swayed and clung to each other's waists while a breathy vocalist sang of a need for touch, a desire to be felt. It was the kind of softcore thing you couldn’t quite pull away from, and you could see he was watching intently too.

“I love your algorithms–they don’t make any fucking sense,” you chimed in, hoping your nonchalant tone would hide how much you secretly enjoyed the mood shift.

Without breaking his focus from the screen, he began to run his fingers on your stomach, mirroring your scratches to his head and neck. “I can’t be defined, babydoll,” he responded, his delivery maddeningly vague. “You know the same production team worked on the video for…”

You lent an ear while he spiraled off on a tangent, seemingly unaware of the amount of lust that was building in you simply from hearing him speak. He was intoxicating, and even as blurry as you were, you couldn’t deny how welcome his touch felt. With every pass of his palm further up your torso, you hoped he’d overreach and graze your breast. And why not? You thought to yourself, What’s so different about tonight?

You surreptitiously shifted your body lower beneath him, the devil on your shoulders’ voice becoming almost unbearable. By the third or fourth song your pulse had quickened not insignificantly, and thoughts of him running his hand underneath your shirt to find your hardening nipples there had replaced all fuzzy exhaustion.

You tried to recall why a nagging feeling in the back of your mind kept steering you away, but it was all turning up blank in the thick cloud of dopamine. Still, you knew it couldn’t be nothing, and decided on compromise: One little kiss, that’s all. He’s not even paying attention. And so you brushed the curls away from his forehand and laid a deep kiss there. He was so warm against your lips it felt nearly impossible to break away, but as you did he quickly lifted his gaze to meet yours.

His lips parted softly as if to say something, then all at once they were on yours, moving with grace and hunger as you tugged gently on each other. He sat up straighter, lips never leaving yours as he balanced his weight on top of you. Your hands pressed firmly into his lower back, willing his pelvis to roll against yours, and you felt that same heat starting to build beneath his boxer briefs too.

You wanted to feel him, to hold his slight waist close to yours and run your fingers down his back till his whole body was covered in chills and desire. He broke temporarily from your lips and sighed as you ran your fingers from the nape of his neck all the way down to his tailbone. His chest pressed against yours and anchored you to the moment—two souls sharing a singular fluttering heartbeat.

His solid hands held your back and you reached to hang your arms around his neck. The movement forced him to burrow his nose into the crook of his neck, and he wasted no time peppering the delicate skin there with the same hungry kisses. You could feel the pressure leaving red welts that you’d have to attend to in the morning. Tonight though, they only served as proof of the affection he felt for you too.

He could’ve stayed content to hold you like that forever, but the building heat between you two was so saccharine, you felt you owed it to whatever hedonistic god to indulge yourself. Without hesitating, you slipped the neck of his t-shirt up over his curls and discarded it to the side.

The smile that met you was nothing short of a sunbeam. You could tell he hadn’t been sure what tonight held either, but every time you took initiative like this he knew it gave him permission to worship you like the goddess he always claimed you were.

He pulled himself to a seated position on the ground in front of you. You followed him forward while he settled on his knees, hands running up and down your body. They found the hem of your t-shirt and slipped seamlessly beneath to find your breasts. He held you steady as he rubbed your nipples in small, gentle circles.

You felt your back start to arch slightly at the pressure, and just as your kisses were gaining speed he reached a hand up to your chin and held you there, the other continuing its rhythm on your breast.

“God, you’re perfect in this light,” his words were breathy and sincere, and you wished with everything in you to swallow them whole and feel the light rush out through your pores. He set his lips to your jaw, inching further down your throat till he was nearly below your neckline.

“Help me out?” he breathed between quick kisses, never one to let clothing keep him at bay. You acquiesced immediately, pulling the edge of your t-shirt up over your head and out of mind.

Goosebumps covered your naked form, and you shivered. Noticing them, he paused his procession to run his palms up and down your arms. You grinned at him, jaw trembling slightly, “Sssee? Always making me cold.”

“You’re like poetry.” His voice was deeper now, deeper than you’d heard it in a while. His hazy eyes followed an invisible trail he mapped along your sternum, and the goosebumps multiplied. You saw the notch in his brow furrow as he began searching for something to say.

“I would not paint — a picture —

I'd rather be the One

It's bright impossibility

To dwell — delicious — on —”

Fuck.

“And wonder how the fingers feel

Whose rare — celestial — stir —

Evokes so sweet a torment —

Such sumptuous — Despair —”

“Oh Joshua,” was all you could breathe out in response, your chin jutting forward, crease on your forehead betraying how desperately you needed him. Your cheeks burned as he crashed back into you for a full and hungry kiss, his tongue reaching for more. Feeling your reaction, his hand traveled back down to your waistband.

Finally, like a ghost in the mirror, you recalled why you’d been so hesitant earlier. A millisecond to spare, you shot your hand down and caught his wrist. You could see a dart of panic in his eyes–he was afraid he’d upset you.

“Is this ok?”

“Yeah, yes, It’s just—” more color returned to your cheeks, and the words started to bubble over, “If you take off my pants it’ll get messy: it’s like, day four of my cycle. I totally spaced, baby, I’m sorry.” Your words were exasperated as you mentally kicked yourself for letting your brain fog this badly.

He pulled back to look you in the eye, faux sternness furrowing his brow, “Hey love?” You raised an eyebrow in answer to his sudden shift, “Full transparency: I couldn’t care less if you’re on your period, let alone what day.”

“Are you… are you sure?” Now your own brow was knit, skeptical of his sincerity. It wasn’t that you doubted him, simply that you needed confirmation. Your pulse quickened slightly and you focused your waning attention into his velvet brown eyes, searching for any apprehension he might have hidden for your sake. To your great surprise and relief, you could find none.

“I mean, god knows I’ve come face to face with a bodily fluid or two,” he flashed a devilish grin that spanned his entire face.

You quirked a small grin back, trying to feign indifference even while your heart was beating out of your chest, “Well, sure. I mean… really?”

“Really,” he continued, batting his eyelashes,“Maroon makes my eyes pop.”

“You’re a mess,” you said with a giggle.

“I will be.” He gave your waist a reassuring squeeze as he shifted his weight off his knees. “I’ll wear it like a badge of honor, '' he promised solemnly.

You thought about protesting once more just to check, but before you had a chance, his palms had slipped behind your lower back and he was pulling you towards himself. Your body shifted till you hung just barely off the edge of the couch, his hands effortlessly tugging your sweats and underwear off in a single tug.

“Theeeeere she is,” he exclaimed softly, a low hum building in his tone. With the shift in your weight came an equal one in mentality, and you felt your anxieties start to lift. It had been a while since you’d let him take full control, and the pure indulgence of it all was bringing a fire to your core the likes of which you hadn’t felt in months.

Slow and methodical, he parted your knees, gracing them with the backs of his fingers first, then tenderly running his hands along your thighs as he hummed softly, mostly to himself.

“Mmmm, it's like–what’s the new Hozier song?” He searched his hazy brain for the lyrics while he continued to run his hands along your skin, seemingly unaware of the tizzy he’d put you in. “I’d tell them put me back in, coach! Yeah, that’s the one…”

He tittered on as if speaking from an entirely different point of view, his words seemingly unaware of his thumb which was rubbing itself up and down your inner thigh. He swooped ever closer to your clit until he graciously pressed there in gentle circles.

“Take me to church!” He crooned, a lopsided grin washing over his face before bending to land soft kisses on each thigh. With a final glance up at you and the ghost of smirk that suggested he might be more coherent than he was letting on, his lips graciously smoothed over your sensitive clit. His tongue licked up your vulva to encompass all of you in smooth, wet pleasure.

“Oh god,'' you tried not to shout, although the work he’d done up to this point made you feel nearly ready to burst in record-time.

“Mhmm” he murmured into you. You could feel his lips smiling: he loved talking you through your pleasure. The rumblings always went straight through your center like electricity and gave you the deepest orgasms, which in turn fueled his.

He continued his sucking and tonguing, sometimes soft and light, then all at once more firm and deliberate. His lips were like waves crashing again and again to a steady unheard beat. As you found a common tempo your breath deepened with every exhale, and you released a sigh of your own. The melody, though quiet at first, shortly matched his in pitch and intensity.

He’d hum and you’d moan an echo to him, signaling your bliss in an ebb and flow of sounds shared between you; a language only you two could understand. His murmuring became groans and gasps as he came up for air, the temperature difference shocking your soaking cunt and exciting you even more. With each wave you ran your fingers through his curls, guiding his nose to press into you at the perfect angle, eliciting delicious moans which spurred the two of you on even more.

He clung to your hips as you began to roll yours into him, and he pressed his tongue greedily inside you, sending you dangerously close to the edge. “Baby, you’re doing so, so good, it might be soon,” you warned as you cupped his cheek in one hand, the other still pressing behind his neck to hold him in place.

He groaned and broke away with a smack, eyes half shut with the pleasureful haze filling both of your minds. “Hold on mama, I’ll get you there, I promise. Just gotta get these off,” he said, running his right palm down your calf to his boxer briefs. He hooked his thumb under the band at his waist while the other hand stayed anchored firmly on your knee.

The brief pause had pulled your mind temporarily out of the clouds, and you looked down to see that the arc of his cock was indeed reaching a fever pitch too strong to be ignored any longer.

“Oh god, baby I- I’m sorry I wasn’t even thinking, let m–” but as you went to sit forward the hand planted on your knee jumped up to your abdomen, pressing you back into the couch with a soft thud.

“Why are you saying sorry?” He stared directly into your eyes and continued pulling his boxer briefs off slow and deliberately. The question was as much a command to relax as it was an invitation to watch.

“If I needed your help, believe me baby, I’d ask.” His hand was on his cock now, already wet with so much precum, and the stare he was attempting faltered slightly as his fingers graced the tip.

“I’m not above begging–you know that,” he said, his voice gruff, erring a half step lower every time he reached the base of his cock. You felt your breath hitch, eyes flitting between his beautiful stare and his hand that continued stroking up and down.

“I bet you’d like that a lot, wouldn’t you?” His tone was darker, fueled by the eye contact, when suddenly—“Sicko!” he cried, his character voice nearly making you choke. You both erupted into bubbling laughter, and you shook your head slightly, brushing a rogue curl out of his eyes–He lets the intrusive thoughts win every time.

“Oh my god. Babe, you’re literally eating me out on my period,” you responded, dropping your hand firmly on the scruff of his neck again. He jumped slightly with the force of your grasp, and you could see his cock twitch the slightest bit more. You leaned in to match his energy, and with the darkest voice you could muster, confessed, “the sicko is you, darling.”

“Oh, right,” he said, a hazy smile floating back onto his face. His eyes closed as he lowered back down, “Right… fair point.”

His lips returned to your cunt, the promise of sweet release spurring him on to the finale. His movement was steady but desperate, and the smooth and consistent wake of your hips was shortly replaced by a more sporadic, forceful tide that pushed into him with vigor. He took it in stride, moaning as his own wake of pleasure began building in him.

You could tell he was moving his own hips at a quicken pace, as if imagining his cock was pushing deep inside you while he lapped at your drenched center. He spread his knees further apart, arching his back in order to bring himself closer to orgasm. His body was practically writhing underneath you, just the taste of you bringing him closer and closer.

The image of him completely at your mercy made every neuron in your brain fire simultaneously, and you moaned with a finality that let him know it was time.

Without warning his lips moved to encircle only your clit, and the focused sucking there sent you so dangerously close you nearly sobbed as you cried out, “Baby, come with me–on me, please.”

With a final cry you felt him oblige you, and he let out a long moan as you found yourself crashing into your orgasm. The release sent fireworks to your psyche, and he let you take over with your fingers the way you liked in the midst of it. He stood and watched you writhing with all the pleasure he’d given you, and with a final groan he joined you in ecstasy.

His head thrown back, he pumped himself onto your pussy, his mess joining your own and adding to the pleasure you were currently riding yourself through. Placing his free hand to your side, he knelt down closer and rubbed the sensitive head of his dripping cock in the folds of your vulva, spreading around his cum till both your sensitivities had become nearly too much to handle. Even then, he continued rubbing the shaft of his cock on your throbbing cunt till you gasped slightly from over stimulation.

His forehead met yours wordlessly, and you stayed there for a moment, breathing heavy from exertion. He sighed as he let his body flop down next to you, temples still touching. You ran your fingers up and down his arms, body still stuttering in the afterglow. The exhaustion was setting in, and you had to force yourself to open your eyelids to look at him–you needed to kiss him one more time before you fell asleep. He too had his eyes closed, a bleary smile playing across his face as if he were replaying pictures of you in his mind. You kissed him softly on his nose, still slightly wet and rosy, and his eyes fluttered open. As your pulses returned to their normal pace, he grabbed a blanket to clean you both up.

“We can wash it,” he said reassuringly, noticing your slightly reluctant side eye. Blanket in tow, he cupped his hand gently around your pussy and worked softly to make you feel as clean as possible. Once he was satisfied with his work, he tossed the blanket away to pull you in closer.

“You are entirely too good to me,” you whispered, the siren song of sleep finally taking its toll.

“You are entirely too good, momma,” he whispered back, and you both slipped away as the rain sang you into the deep blue.

[hockybish]

Maisie silently cheered as Luke shot the puck and it landed in the back of the net. It was the first goal of the game that got the ball rolling for the Devils.

She raised her camera to the opening in the plexiglass and snapped a few photos as Luke skated around celebrating with teammates. When the moment was over, she took a second to look through the pictures on her camera.

Luke was so happy and she loved seeing her hockey player so happy doing what he loved. He didn't need her to be happy, he had his family and hockey.

That's when the idea started creeping into her thoughts: he would be ten times happier if she wasn't in his life and she wasn't good enough for him. He was good, she was bad.

Maisie knew what needed to come next.

"Hey are you coming out with us tonight?" Luke greeted her after the Devils' win by wrapping his arms around her frame. Maisie looked distant. He hoped giving her a kiss would snap her out of whatever funk she was thinking about.

"No, I think I'm gonna go home." Maisie pulled away from the boy she thought she might be falling in love with.

"I'll come too. We can have a quiet night instead." Luke pulled her in closer in that was even possible. He just had this funny feeling that she needed him close by tonight.

"N-no" She suddenly found the floor really interesting as she untangled herself from his arms. Why couldn't leaving him be easier? "I want to be by myself." Maisie always what wanted to be with Luke.

"What's wrong Maisie?"

"Nothing. Nothing's wrong. I just want to be by myself tonight. Is there something wrong with that?" Maisie still refused to meet his eyes.

"Well then would you like me to give you a ride home?" He offered, it was the least he could do, he was a gentleman after all. He could spend a little more time with her if he drove her.

"Nope, I can manage" Maisie declined the kind offer.

"You didn't drive, how are you gonna get home?"

"Don't worry about it, Luke, I'll be fine." She had already ordered a car from her preferred ride sharing app to pick her up. She sort of had a plan.

"I'm always gonna worry about you, you're my girlfriend and I love you!" Luke raised his voice. He took her hands in his, gripping them tighter so she couldn't run away. "Maisie girl, what's wrong?"

"I don't think this is gonna work out, I want to don't us anymore." Maisie spit out the words. His hands went slack and she was able to easily slip them out. In a sense she was free, but she felt even worse than she did before

"What?" Luke mumbled shock at what his girlfriend told him. He could feel his heart started to tear into two. And he had more questions than he was sure she was willing to answer.

Luke figured she didn't really mean it. She just needed some alone time, like she said. Maybe he was being a little overbearing and taking up too much of her time.

They were fine.

Yeah they were fine.

She just needs the night, everything will be back to normal in the morning because they love each other. Although, that was the first time either of them had ever said it.

He dialed her number the next morning before practice. There was no answer and he left voicemail number one. He stopped by her place on the way in, he must have missed her, since her place was empty.

He spotted in her usual perch at practice, Luke wanted to go over and say something, but his attention was redirected when he started making his way over and when he finally got there she was gone again. When he got home he tried call again, once again he was sent to voicemail.

He began to worry again.

What if she really did mean it? What if she actually did break up with him?

[kaisarionn]

💐 i love your energy it’s so good and it’s just what this dying app needs! Can I plz plz plz request the ghouletts (kinda platonic idk just friendly way) with a ghoulette reader (if you don’t do that normal fem reader is fine) and they are having “problems” with their period ever since they were summoned onto earth. And they NEED to see a doctor but they are scared and uncomfortable bc yk, period talk with doctor is EH. But they comfort them and all that shit. Sorry I just think there is no reason to hide problems with periods if you have them, pray for me

A/n: I agree with this! I’ve had some issues with period problems to the point that I needed a doctor and medicine, it’s the worst. Luckily I’m doing better and I hope you are too! Thank you for the request!

Word count: 783. Angst with comfort. Fem!ghoulette reader. (Tw for mention of periods, though nothing graphic) (I couldn’t find an image with more than two ghoulettes)

Cuddle puddle 🩵

You had been dealing with it by yourself for a while, being far too embarrassed to bring it up to anyone, especially since you were new, but you couldn’t hide it for long due to how badly it affected you.

For one week a month you were practically inconsolable and would hardly leave your room and the ghoulettes immediately noticed this.

They tried to talk to you, but you always go nervous and avoided the topic altogether, until today. Your period was hitting you particularly hard and the ghoulettes were determined to take care of you, which leads to now.

There was a soft knock at the door, but you were in too much pain to get up, luckily the door was unlocked since you rushed to your bed after trying to get some food. Sunshine opens the door and all four ghoulettes come in with various looks of concern upon seeing you curled up on your bed, you looked way worse than they had imagined. “W-what are you all doing here?” You look at them a little embarrassed, not wanting anyone around while you felt so horrible.

It was already hard trying to keep it together long enough to get food without crying, but now you had four ghoulettes in your room while you looked and felt like a mess. “Honey..” Cirrus says softly, shutting the door behind them and coming to sit down in the bed next to you. “Why are you all curled up?” Sunshine sits on the floor next to you, cumulus sits in a nearby chair with Aurora in her lap since there wasn’t much furniture to sit on.

“I feel sick..” You mumble, trying not to tear up from how bad you feel, which was getting harder and harder. “Well we brought you some stuff!” Sunshine nearly yells, but tamps down her enthusiasm when she remembers how bad you feel. “Yeah, we got you food, medicine, a personal heating pad.” Aurora giggles softly, pointing to Sunshine who the ghoulettes often curled up with when they were cold.

“We can leave if you want, we just want to make sure you’re okay first.” Cumulus adds on, holding up an actual heating pad incase you do want them to leave. You start to sniffle softly, a combination of happy tears from feeling so cared for, and overwhelmed tears since your cramps were killing you. “T-thank you..” The ghoulettes take this as their cue to curl around you to comfort and take care of you. Sunshine pulls you into her arms and placing her hand on your pelvis, warming them up to ease your pain.

The others get comfortable around you however they can, wanting to practically cocoon you with their bodies. “Now what’s wrong?” Cirrus knows it’s your period, they all do as they’ve had similar experiences, but she’s trying to get to the bottom of the issue.

“E-ever since I was summoned here my period has been all messed up and nothing helps like it used to!” You bury your face into a pillow, trying to hide your tears. Cumulus gently rubs your back, trying to soothe you as best they can. “Aw sugar.. why haven’t you gone to the doctor? I’m sure they can help.”

You lightly shake your head at the mention of doctors, and they can tell you seem a bit nervous about it. “I don’t like them.. a-and this stuff is so embarrassing..” Aurora scoots around a little bit, trying to get a bit closer to you. “I know doctors are scary, but we can go with you! Cirrus takes me to my appointments, she makes them less scary.”

Cirrus smiles and gently brushes your hair out of your face. “I would be happy to take you, we all would. Doctors don’t have to be scary dear.. and this shouldn’t be embarrassing. We all have to deal with this.” Cumulus grabs out the jar of cookie dough she brought you, offering it out, which you promptly took with a smile. “We’ll always help you out sugar.”

Sunshine opens the jar for you with a soft smile, before going back to kneading at your stomach. “Yeah! Always.” You giggle softly and take a bite of cookie dough with a smile. “You girls are the best.”

[andr0medafallen]

First Love

A/N: Republishing my old fics

Pairing: Kate Bishop x reader

Warnings: Fluff, lost love, slightly juvenile, but in a cute way, me making up a ton of shit about New York City But I'm from LA so I get the vibe

Description: Ten years is a long time, but it seems that you can never forget your first love.

Word Count: 2.5k

You’ve never felt too much one way or another about New York City. Lots of people have such strong opinions about it. You couldn’t begin to count the amount of times people have found out that you grew up in the City and started ranting to you about how wonderful and exciting it is, or how it’s gross and smells like shit. Or even worse, asking you to assert your nonexistent opinions on the rather arbitrary matter. You honestly didn’t care about the city itself; It was the people you missed when you moved out of town, that’s what still sometimes inspires an ache in your chest. You weren’t even that old when you moved away, not really; probably just around fourteen, but you still sometimes find yourself thinking about all the friends you’d had to leave behind because of your Dad’s shiny new job. It’s always hard to reconcile decisions that we don’t get to make, but that affect the course of our lives so drastically.

Still, with so many people asking for your obviously superior New York native opinion, of course you had to return to make sure that you weren’t misguiding anyone. Return to all of your old comforts like giant rats, and traffic. And the subway! Oh, the subway. Nobody does vaguely uncomfortable and endlessly interesting public transportation like you, New York.

You’re riding that very grungy subway now, stuck between two arbitrary hotspots of childhood memories, opening and closing various apps on your phone in an attempt to ignore the girl across from you, who is very obviously staring. If staring in a normal way is a thing, this is the opposite of that. Eyes wide, frequently shifting as if she wants to make a move to talk to you, which you would, quite frankly, rather avoid.

She seems nice enough, from the glimpses you manage to get without meeting her eye contact. Like, she doesn’t seem like she is being actively antagonistic. But the thing is, no one wants to talk to a random person on the subway; it’s the physical embodiment of stranger danger. And let's be honest, no sane person has that many bandaids on their face.

When the next stop comes and goes and neither of you make a move toward the exit, you huff a small breath, square your shoulders, and look up at her, ready for a confrontation; It takes about .2 seconds to get her attention, given that she is still looking at you as if you’re some sort of spectral projection.

“Can I help you?” You say it in that tone that you’ve spent years mastering. A lot aggressive and a little confused, to deter the advances of the creepy and ensure the empathy of the well-meaning.

“Oh! Me? You’re talking to…Yeah, um. Sorry, you look like someone I know.” She trails off, looking like she might have something else to say when it clicks. You might not have recognized her if it weren’t for the news articles that all of your friends like to wave around, exclaiming how ‘your first kiss is a superhero, dude’ and asking you how it feels having ‘an ex-girlfriend who is that much cooler than you. Which isn’t even true; Even if you look past how young the two of you had been, you weren’t even technically dating. It doesn’t really matter that you’ve never stopped thinking about her even though all you’d been doing was ‘practicing’.

You give her a small, hesitant grin. Maybe you have way too many conflicted feelings about her to have a normal conversation, but you can at least try. “Kate? Oh my god, you should’ve just said something. You were freaking me out, I thought you might have laser vision or something.”

Kate chuckles, fidgeting with the sleeve of her over-shirt—lavender colored, because of course she still hasn’t gotten over her random obsession with the color. “No, no laser vision.”

“Right, the superhero stuff! I mean, clearly you don’t need it,” you nudge her arm playfully. “Seem to be doing just fine with all those archery medals.”

Kate chuckles, face going pink. “Thanks.” There’s a bit of an awkward pause, before, “I didn’t know you were back in New York.”

“Oh, well…I’m not. Not permanently, anyways, it’s just a couple of weeks.” You give Kate a shy grin. “Wanted to tour all of our old haunts.”

“Tour the haunts without meeting up with the ghost? C’mon, I’ve got nothing to do for the rest of the day, we should catch up!”

You raise an eyebrow as Kate grins at you. “When you say ‘I’ve got nothing to do for the rest of the day,’ am I supposed to be ignoring the purple duffle bag with arrows sticking out?” You ask, mentioning the elephant in the room—well, there are plenty, it’s the subway, but that was the only one relevant to Kate.

“Yeah, duh. You’re thinking ice cream, right? God, it’s been so hot recently, you really could have caught us at a more flattering month—”

“You’re saying I should have come in December? Maybe I was planning my trip around your schedule, you seemed so busy at the time.” Kate doesn’t answer, just smirks at you smugly when the doors open at the next stop, grabbing your arm and forcing you to weave through the interwoven crowds of people if you want to have any chance of not hitting anyone or being hit. You don’t even have time to try to figure out where she’s dragging you, all of your energy and focus spent on trying to keep up so you won’t be unintentionally dragged to the floor.

When you get to the street level, you can feel the sun beating down on you, hardly able to see as your eyes adjust from the subway’s cool darkness. If it’s any consolation, there is some slight amount more walking (and breathing) room on the ground floor of the city. It’s a low bar, but at least you’re no longer in danger of trampling and death by asphyxiation.

“Kate, you’re crazy,” You tell her, still recovering from your exciting and absolutely unnecessary adventure.

“Big Dipper sound good? I’m paying, of course. We should catch up, I don’t live far from here.”

“Kate, you’re crazy.”

“Don’t be silly, come on.” Her grip on you shifts from your forearm to your hand, interlocking your fingers. You blush, emotions warring inside you like fire and water, unsure whether it will extinguish the flames or make them brighter. You never know what she means by things like that, or what her motives are. Still, you listen to her little rants as you walk to the little ice cream shop; You pay close attention to every crazy story of her adventures, from getting kicked out of University to becoming ‘basically an avenger.’ It doesn’t matter what she tells you, you’ll always listen. 

It’s not long before you’re at the doors of the white and blue ice cream store. Kate opens the door for you, the smells of vanilla and baked cones filling your senses with childlike wonder only slightly tinged by melancholic nostalgia. Kate continues talking your ear off as you wait in line. Life, death, The Beatles, the proper attire to wear to your enemies funeral; she never seems to care much what’s spoken as long as there is talking. You aren’t complicit in the conversation, either, adding little quips about up and coming celebrities or snarky remarks about mosquitoes. 

She still hasn’t let go of your hand as you’re walking out of the small shop. You’ve got your ice cream—chocolate for Kate and Chai for you, in waffle cones, because you aren’t paying—and she’s leading you down some strange alley; presumably to her apartment.

“What have you been doing, anyways? Since you moved to Arkansas?” Kate asks. She doesn’t wait for your reply, letting go of your hand to jump up and drag down the white-painted metal ladder of a fire escape. 

“California, dickhead. Do you expect me to climb up that, because I—”

“Yeah, the doorman’s a dickhead, this is the easiest way to avoid him.” Kate climbs up the ladder and reaches out her hand to help you out.

You cross your arms over your chest. “I know you don’t enter your own apartment through the window so that you can avoid the doorman.”

“Well, if you don’t know that, then you’re more stupid than I thought.”

You gasp, grabbing her hand indignantly even as you accept her help. “Asshole,” you proclaim, as she hauls you up with so much strength that you hardly have to help. Fucking show-off.

“It’s only four more flights up.”

You laugh; At first it's in shock, but honestly, you don’t know the last time you’ve had this much fun. Kate is crazy, and street stupid, and probably has waaaaay too much time on her hands, but no one can claim that she isn’t fun. Even if she does have a tendency to drag people around New York City and climb up very sketchy ladders. Very tetanisy ladders too; You’ll make sure to avoid the safety violating railing—which will be such a fun experience from this high up. That one is sarcastic though, the railings are very un-fun.

“No, but seriously,” she starts up again, reckoning back to your earlier conversation. “What’ve you been up to? You stopped texting.”

“Yeah, well…you always responded, but you never started conversations. You know? I was out here busting my ass to find a new superhero of the day on day 412, and it felt like it was a chore for you to just respond. And it’s not like I was ever planning on moving back, and you…” You swallow, about to let loose some of your deepest insecurities which you had always seemed so bad at hiding from her way back when. ���You were just practicing.”

Practicing. That was the phrase the two of you had used. You were 13, maybe 14. Practicing because you had to be a good kisser when a boy finally kissed you. It wasn’t your fault that it wasn’t practice for you. What it was you had been practicing for never seemed to be as good as the practice. It wasn’t your fault that you’d caught feelings so long ago that you still haven’t managed to forget about. How could that be your fault?

Kate pauses. One flight from your destination, but who’s keeping track. “Oh…” You could see the gears shifting in her brain, the furrow in her brows that she always gets when she’s thinking too hard. The way her mouth stays in that perfect ‘o’ shape even after she has trailed off.

“I mean, it’s so stupid, I know,” you continued, gesturing wildly. “Like we were just kids, really, just stupid middle schoolers, and I swear to God, I wasn’t even trying to see you today–”

“--That’s less flattering than you think it is.”

“But I don’t know, there’s that saying?” You were rambling. You knew you were rambling, but you couldn’t manage to make yourself stop talking. “About first love, that’s like…I don’t know, now that I’m saying it out loud it sounds stupid, but it’s like ‘you never forget your first love’, and–oh my god, did I just say I love you?” Your voice is small at the end. Like a manual engine puttering out cause you didn’t give it enough gas. And Kate is just staring at you, hardly helping.

“That was a very longwinded way of asking if I’m gay,” Kate mentions, face betraying no emotions. It was a cool stone surface. Not harsh or punishing, but betraying nothing. A jarring contrast to her usually expressive manner. 

“I wasn’t asking if you’re—”

“Well I am. I didn’t even know that you could be gay until we went to pride club for the free potluck that one time, and I got in trouble for that.” You remembered it. It was fun, but she told you she couldn’t go again cause she got in a fight with her mom. The standards she was held to that you were always second to. Pretty, smart, rich girl who you apparently didn’t know like you thought you did. “And I’m sorry I never started conversations, or sent letters, or did all the things I know you probably wanted me to do.” Kate shifts, resting her hips against the rusty railing. Someone call OSHA. “But you can’t possibly think that I didn’t miss you. That I didn’t want you to come back. You were my first kiss, and…my first love. Even if it took me a while to notice.”

It was your turn to stare. Your turn to say, “Oh,” eyes wide. “I mean…I guess we were the only girls in our grade who made out behind the bleachers.”

Kate snorted, surmounting the final flight of stairs. “So not true. Eva and Zoe?”

You gasped, following. “Oh my god, how did I not realize that?”

The window was hardly large enough for either of you to fit through when you made it to Kate’s floor, and your mind was once again flooded with this can’t possibly be the most efficient way to enter this building thoughts when Kate tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

“Because you’re terribly unobservant,” she muttered with a smile.

“And you’re unnecessarily unobvious.”

“Would it be obvious enough if I asked you to stay?”

You lean into the caress of her warm palm, even as your heart skips a beat. “I can’t stay. I have a life, I can’t just drop all of my obligations.” You left out the ‘even if I want to’ bit.

“You could. I have a lot of fucking money, and New York has no shortage of potential obligations.”

You scoff jokingly. “What, the trust fund didn’t get spent on the bell tower?”

“You stalking me or something, princess? Believe it or not, I managed to earn it back. Kind of.” Her joking tone fades away like a sunset, leaving nothing but dark blue peace and stars in her eyes. “Please, stay.”

Turning your weeklong vacation into a permanent living situation because someone you haven’t seen in ten years asks you to seems like a god-awful idea, but somehow Kate has some magical ability to make it seem like the best idea in the world. Like choosing anything else would be the worst decision you could ever make. Likes she’s a fucking liar when she says she doesn’t have any superpowers.

So you begrudgingly reconcile, “I’ll think about it.” Big decisions can wait for the morning. Ruining or saving your entire future can be tomorrow's decision. But the two of you have a lot to catch up on. Ten years is a long time, but it seems that you can never forget your first love.